The Dick Show

A disappointing 9/11, Nick Rekieta vs. Vito, Rick and Morty ruined their best story, a gorilla attacks Larry Elder, passing on one million dollars, Robert E Lee is canceled, a time capsule heist, real pro life problems, expelled from virtual school, Amazon invades Mexico, teaching your kids to mine NFTs, and how to deal with shame; all that and more on The Dick Show!

A $6,000 vet bill, a Chinese mosquito invasion, women's rights vs. gun's rights, fake jousting, a mask epidemic, and Ralph gets served in Las Vegas, how to get rich, cranking one out while sexting, body autonomy, the Australia check-in app, and horse medicine; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

A plague of fatsos have made chairs obsolete, a pilot throws a tantrum on a flight, lies about e-cigarettes, getting in altercations at a White Sox game, The Taliban goes to Mars, the WATP Live show, Chris the Kiwi calls in, the Madcast Media Network goes dark, and the Margarita question; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Never running out of beer, Payment processors declare war on porn, Australia declares war on foster dogs, "you can't make this up!", Larry Elder's blackface, army medals, the Tesla bot, Chinese military training, fat women in the Victoria's Secret mailer, big boobs on the handicapped, the work-at-home switcheroo, Afghanistan veterans on suicide watch, getting a vasectomy, and how to invest in a world that is cartelized by the only remaining superpowers; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The Taliban is back in town, the boat is gone, the American gay pride flag is safe, The OC Fair ruins pig races, Catfish Ninja busts another ped*phile and plays taser tag with a trans woman, the Bella saga unwinds on the Killstream, "scientism", bad editing jobs on boob reveal GIFs, what to do about a nosey girlfriend; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Chipping my tooth on the dog, The David AKA The Wiener Man, a fake fentanyl overdose, lynching Bella the Hero, Apple vs. your nudes, "unlawful parading", a whopping dad taxes on miles driven, the police fake a fentanyl overdose, NASA lies, the "guy who ate too much" emoji, Gonzo wears a dress, teenager appropriate porn, and Crippled Jesus plays poker; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Chris Chan breaks the Internet, the pronoun warriors over-swing, funding breast reductions, separate but equal job websites, PayPal joins forces with the ADL, #CancelRent, Karl calls in to argue about the Olympics, the case-counting runaway train, dog grooming licenses, and myth busting Lizzo's stage dive; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The happiness index hits an all-time high, the Olympics' anti-sex beds, the US women's soccer team loses, the He-Man reboot that contains no He-Man, the FBI buys domestic terrorists lunch, the wacky case of the Sophie Long Cyberbullyers, why the US government wants women, and drive-by chess attacks; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Anaheim deplatforms hate, low flow shower heads are a private business, my house is almost burned down, the police beat some people, a woman asks for advice, a man stalks a co-worker, Chris the Kiwi violates his probation, Israel implements Happy Badges, France mandates vaccines, rebranding shark "interactions", the LEGO gun, and the Fed raises the retirement age; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Having COVID forever, a trans-mom a milkin, male bullimia, LEGO terrorists, the fat-friendly internet, door-to-door trusted community members vaccinating your children, Bill Cosby is free and innocent, saluting the Boomer flag, getting vaccinated against hurricanes, the gay men's choir makes a joke, and butt monkeys for reading; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

John McAfee goes to Greenland, the FBI radicalizes lunatics, women's Olympic weight lifting, Tour de France crash, Alexa's "by the way", mask piles, Doug Funny and white genocide, Lowtax is the internet's greatest debater, wrong hamburgers, Chris the Kiwi's private hooker, Sportbra Taylor wants a car, and episode four of The Biggest Problem in the Universe; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Vegan pool party, confiscated talcum powder, Los Angeles is open for Juneteenth, three-hour haircuts, pandemic movies, women lifting cars off of babies, strippers turning 21, and long lost penises; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

I wash my watch, the Federal Reserve buys America, "The Biggest Problem in the Universe" is funded and will return in two weeks, Mersh is on Alex Jones, Patty C Cups Lashes Out at me and Karl, more gay talk from straight men, and blowing up the moon; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Messed up sex doll fingers, selling AMC, crappy children's artwork, "China Aporogies", female writers, the metric system, Gavin McInnes cries about something, "Disinformation", women banging psychopaths, edgy reboots, and the top hat pooper; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Topless Elliot Page marks the first day of summer, the war on blackface, kid-friendly Pride, lack of bidets, fat brain, how to poop, Seth Rogan contributes to the balkanization of comedy, and Sean has a blowout; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Sean is gone, Vito reboots The Biggest Problem in the Universe with me, "Buy the Dip", woke marketing, pronoun resistance, Pokemon card scalpers, semen retention, a guy breaks up with his girlfriend, Jim Henson is unhire-able, the Replication Crisis, and Female Dating Strategies; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

A virgin graduates, #FreePalestine, Six Pack Rings, the Cuckold Simulator, Sean-voyage, people who don't listen to the experts or the science, the gas shortage, Disney solves racism, Elon Musk turns heel, animals women can take in a fight, a fat teacher yells at a student, and Cantillions hits on Sports bra Taylor; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Used Front Hole Day, Sean is leaving for White Boy Summer, wasting time cleaning a grill, Happy Mother's Day to myself, Tess Holiday vs. anorexia, fat women vs. COVID, everyone vs. J Scott Campbell's boobs, Crippled Jesus wheels out of the closet, Adam from Houston and the jerk off ninja, a deadbeat sister, the IRS gets $80 billion, and $DOGE tanks; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The price of lumber skyrockets, Jeopardy stands against anything resembling hate, Maddox's obsession with the cartel, the cyst guy calls in, Madcucks cheats, FOMO ruins Burning Man, Tony from Hack the Movies talks Mortal Kombat, Crippled Jesus comes out as gay, the way strippers treat you, no team captains for kids, and Maddox for governor; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Inventory control systems, my dog has the coof, crossing the street to avoid the police, the Raiders can breathe again, gender lessons for middle schoolers, Sports Bra Taylor calls in to read the news, Mr. Girl calls in to talk about his pedophile rap songs, the Chinese Nigerian penis trade, a botched threesome, the world's unluckiest man, and how Sean would kill himself; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Losing your mo-ho, Dogecoin is for retards and con artists, a big fat Playboy centerfold, a driving while black VR simulator, Disney cis-cesses, birds attacking my car, guns vs. tasers, the Brony slayer, people who enjoyed lockdown, Destination Alaska wedding, doubling hate crimes, catfishing pedophiles as Elliot Rodgers for fun and profit; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Women reacting to animals in war movies, vaccine enthusiasm, a trademark Chauvin shoulder massage, "Women Posting Their Ls", women are in charge of the US economy, the Roomba, packing the SCOTUS, 150 million new poor people, CDC vs. Racism, women crying power dynamics, and the Sisyphus voicemail; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Gas weed wackers, The Dick Show Weight Loss Contest for Big Fat F*cks, Johnson Brown's penis extension adventure, private national parks, striking teachers, women abdicating responsibility, how to make an imaginary girlfriend, and not being first pick; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Jamming up world trade, my cancer, blood drive scams and big leaguers, inappropriate tele-doctors, Ethan Ralph calls in about the recent fracas, Vito calls in about Magic the Gathering MS Paint cards, Amazon drivers pooping in their vans, a 14 year-old bangs his mom's friend, guys who want to date a bro, the juice cleanse was a big mistake, Jon del Arroz, and a call-in fails to materialize; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Farm to table wh*res, #StopAsianWeight, the dangers of hand-rolled cigarettes, the legendary $4,000 Maddox and Patty C-Cups crossover, artist George Alexopolous calls in, Karl from "Who Are These Podcasts?" with clips from "Are You Hungry?", the chances someone with COVID goes to the hospital, the 10,000 black men murdered by police every year, heroin addicts in the military, Cuties 2, and the best voicemail we've ever had; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The progressive military, my dog gets canceled, my interview with Russia Today, how woke mobs killed comedy, "Coming 2 America" is ruined by Leslie Jones, Pokimane is a midwest 6, the dog bloodbath, Derek Chauvin predictions, being #SuperStraight, a curfew for men, #StopAsianHate, an erotic story from a real they, and milestone overload; all that and more on this week's episode of The Dick Show!

International Womxn's Day, the dentist says I have a small mouth, McAfee is charged with crypto scams, a race to ban books, a Chinese man who eats with sticks, the changing definition of "herd immunity", stealing my gas, Bone and Nazi furries, how to use lines on women, when 2-3 workouts is actually 1 workout, and SSRIs vs. GHB; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Crippled Jesus is guilty on all counts, blue collar witch hunts, the green flash is a myth, white math, Mx. Potato Head, ruining your wife's conspiracy theories, having an honest conversation about the p*ssy, my girlfriend believes in a different God, Cialis chasers, stubby pencils, and showing my dog on camera; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

I get the blob dog, spilling coffee, Texas vs. California in incompetence, Biden's plan for saving small businesses, Bill Gates vs. meat, Madonna vs. men, teachers vs. students, The Muppets are canceled, Adam from Houston shoots through walls and deals with a scat man; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Ethan Ralph is a free man, Gina Carano comments on the Holocaust for no reason, my raves is canceled, stealing a covid vaccine, Gorilla Glue, the boring impeachment, Super Bowl commercials, Justin Timberlake apologizes, Chest Milk and Human Milk, Murrlogic's life at the Children's Village, Crippled Jesus is getting sued by the Wellness Center, the threesome that almost wasn't, and Maddox's Table of Contents; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Dealing with night terrors, New Project Brew, "nice to e-meet you", my penis falls asleep, Mr. Monopoly helps you out, GTA 6's female protagonist, disinformation, bad legal takes, quotes about quotes, HuffPo Women, and a former trans kid calls in; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Bullying billionaires, Park n Raves, women and their horrible digestion, audio messages, DIY haircuts, arrested for writing stories, triple masking, Biden's GOSBANK, the show gets a mom banned from the park, TV is illegal, Crippled Jesus vs. Uni Part 3, The Silver Squeeze, and how to live forever; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Boobs on Star Trek, ruining Tupperware, erasing women, heckling news anchors and appealing to the humorless, women vs. serial killers, sitting in a loss, language on the suicide hotline, Amazon vs. mail-in ballots, child porn on Twitter, the Milo show, a Flat Earther calls in, Crippled Jesus vs. admin, a pee jar virgin, and overworking Kegels; all that and more this month on The Dick Show!

Entering the Fediverse, making a mess with bags of sand, half-assed robots vs half-assed humans and the $15 minimum wage, the Indoguration, cosplay and the race to the bottom of the uncanny valley, Josh Denny gets canceled for jokes, Seth Rogan vs. Count Dankula, regulating Bitcoin, a regurgitating erotic story, and Crippled Jesus gets in trouble in his Feminist Theory class; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

I eat a tub of cookie dough, the perils of shaving your ugly face, THOTs posting pictures of themselves in Dubai, rolling your own cigarettes, the pros of Trump being banned on Twitter, taking over the capitol and Opposite Day, Vito's podcast, two teenagers sexting, Ari's ex with the foot fetish, Cantillions and Matt fight, the Danish giant penis cartoon, turning a prostitute into a housewife; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

"Death to 2020", mass-produced personalities, Wonder Woman 1984 made me start my period, new and improved lighters, "Cosmo says you're fat", The WHO says "The Big One" is coming, the science says you don't have to tell people you have AIDS, a young man describes his perfect woman, wet masks, shooting politicians with vaccines, The Grand Wazoo's Christmas album, and there is nothing to look forward to; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

A Christmas sick-out, family is just a number, getting over a girl, surprises in the omnibus nightmare, having a lonely mouth, holocaust and election denying, "birthing people", going to school until you get molested, Chris the Kiwi calls in, herd immunity, grandpa's vintage pornography, cross-dressing incest, organizing your wires, and some Tampa audio is recovered; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Too old for this many drugs, seeing where all your missing stuff went in Hell, City Slickers ruins my life, getting a vaccination chip or kicked in the head, drinking and cooking slow meat all day, a Marshall plan for mom, losing the draw string on your shorts, how Trump can still win, the Wonder Bread guy draws some pictures, a fake funeral for a fake death, genderless babies, Twitch makes a statement on words, the Great Reset resetted, Madcucks moves back in with his parents, and Sean vs. Madcucks; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The Black National Anthem, losing the audio for Road Rage: Tampa, pretending COVID doesn't exist, smoking inside, over protective uncles, Maddox calls the police again, multiple TDS tattoos, Bell's palsy and the vaccine no one wants, Erik Wong gets into a fight on a plane, and someone throws a drink at Ralph; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Fake Heart Attacks, Fabio hair, my prank crash dummy chair breaks, subsidized acupuncture, appreciating the little things in life, kettle corn, Biden's dog tripping story, gateway tyranny, diversity in the NASDAQ, marrying a sex doll, Ron Jeremy stories, a ten Asian orgy, the stupid monoliths, Adolph Hitler is back, and Lucky Starr is in studio; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Asians are white, Dominion is in a bad headspace, Unthanksgiving, ten million diversity jobs in college, COVID-scented candles, free tampons, movies that train dads not to work, dog psychics, a QUEER license, banging your girlfriend in her dad's pyjamas, a Dick Show Christmas album, and a Pokimane super simp calls in; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Black Santa's backstory, steak big leaguers, humidors, a pro-life death penalty, new forever curfews, smoking in a non-smoking area, the new Animaniacs has no nurse, stepping on sap, The Great Reset, men wearing dresses, n-word rock, fisherpeople, a cheat pass for your wife, the misery divide, women on women in science, the furry art game, and more stories from prison; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Meeting the Dogs-Elect, Patty C-cups: Karl's Bananadox, venture communism, money as an abstraction of values, getting set up by mom, weaponized ignorance, Lowtax sells Something Awful, Ticketmaster requires vaccine IDs, a quarter of women don't know where their vagina is, the 5% Work From Home tax, eating inside outside, and national holidays for drug dealers; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Trump Loses, Driving with Headlamps on, Consooming

Turning FFFFFFFF, the never-ending hangover, Adulting, new cringe PSAs, Cantillions ruins a birthday surprise, having to thank people for a birthday surprise, Bill Murray vs. menopause, No Nuts November, black people can't marry white people, Tulpabrah calls in, Australia vs. hentai, wearing lifts in our shoes, suicide, Mersh, and the final Coronavirus argument; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The tent-destroying armageddon of Burning Dick, shooting guns on acid, Decepticons on the road, advice for the terminally 5'11", "vagina havers", the Myers Briggs test, Barbie lectures white people, virgins with dating advice, New Diet Coke, Tony from "Hack the Movies" plugs his new Godzilla podcast, rewinding television, and arguing with consent; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Vito's Antifa Horror Movie, dogs with no eyes and the women who compliment them, the actual Trump sign guy, Tim Heidecker gets my Twitter account canceled because he is jealous of my masculine comedy, cougars and the no one who loved them, the great ammo shortage, breeding shoulders, Road Rage: Tampa is almost announced, The ADL vs. Gamers, a family piss duel, shooting net guns at criminals, and trans Jesus' sexual preferences; all that and more this week on The Dick Show.

Corporate-speak, law enforcement with "full release", Kian is reverse body shamed, Road Rage: Tampa, John Wick Mario, "The Evil Dead" Dicktation, Manterrupting, debate fly accounts and your ticket to Greenland, the WHO says to end the lockdowns, waiting in line to eat in the street, racist restaurant warnings, screwing Santa, sexism in whiskey, gender-neutral Jesus, a man's psycho ex hides in his closet, a gun fighter calls in, and the wrong Trump guy calls in; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Frank Hassle calls in about Boogie2988 shooing at him, celebrating Trump's death is different than RBG, capitalize Blacks, Birthers vs. COVIDs, walking through a screen door, a guy finds a sugar-trans parent, Mario64 still sucks, vocal fry, California paying reparations for slavery, a 10-day waiting period, period color, disavowing white supremacy like a thousand times, hegemony, never-ending advice from two Macho Mans, and my very crappy OxMad shirt; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

My Ruth Bader Gonesburg shirt is removed for hate speech, I shave to not look fat, Old Sean, the X-Men Genesis game, flavored creamer, a memorial push-up contest, no-knock warrants, Canceling Netflix for better reasons, J.P. Morgan busted for laundering a billion dollars, Encyclopedia Dramatica gets sued, and how to trick your girlfriend into more oral sex; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!