TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Welcome to the TBTL Morning Zoo! Luke has an early flight he has to catch, and Andrew is worried he's not allowing enough time to get to the airport. Plus, Andrew has a new favorite magician after another visit to The Magic Castle. And a man in Louisiana has been collecting pennies for almost half a century, but it doesn't seem to be paying off.

Luke is increasingly worried that he might wet the bed at some point. Andrew is worried for him, too. They discuss that, along with hot topics of the day, including Big Mouth Billy Bass, Cypress Hill's second album, and the $7.58 Luke accidentally scammed out of a hardware store this morning. Special thanks to David Krych and Gail Floyd for supporting today's show!

Andrew is upset about what happened in a Browns bar in Hollywood yesterday, and it's making Luke sick to his stomach. Sort of. Plus, Andy Kaufman and Redd Foxx are going to start touring as holograms, and the New York Times asks if you would kill baby Hitler, if given the chance. Special thanks to Molly Luetke and Ethan Lowens for supporting today's show!

Luke and Andrew debate whether it's okay to name a children's clinic after a donut chain and whether a bunch of college students were wrong for taking photos of Malia Obama at a party. And Phyllis Fletcher calls in to explain why she's been creeping around our boss' desk in St. Paul. Special thanks to Joseph Rengstorf and Kathleen Jones for supporting today's show.

The Sporkful's Dan "Doc" Pashman joins us to discuss his new TV pilot and to give us all new nicknames. He also offers Luke "Red" Burbank and Andrew "Tapioca" Walsh some advice regarding TV dinners and bubble tea. Thanks to Rachel Howard-Till and Erica Sparkenbaugh for supporting this episode of TBTL!

Today's episode finds Luke in the parking lot of a behavior health center. But don't worry, everything is fine. He and Andrew discuss "Back to the Future Day", Andrew's adventures in vaping, and why Mary Steenburgen ("Steenbergen"?) is so wonderful. Special thanks to Michael Bailie and Gayle Sreibers for supporting today's show!

Luke watched Inherent Vice last night. He and Andrew have very different views of the movie. They are, however, in sync when it comes to the new Star Wars trailer that just dropped yesterday. And they discuss the terrifying and brilliant new recycling mascot in Niagara Falls. Special thanks to Ayca Erbilgin and Rachel Riley for supporting today's TBTL!

Luke checks-in from the hard-hat area known as Burbank Springs. He and Andrew discuss more Skyjinx sparked by reclining airline seats. Plus, Larry David kills it on Saturday Night Live. And we lick our football wounds with another installment of No Point Conversion. Special thanks to Debra Giannoni and Joe Santangelo for supporting this episode of TBTL!

Luke joins the show from Burbank Springs, where construction is underway and dust is in the air. Andrew joins the show from a place of shame after inventing "dessert sandwiches." They discuss the biggest blown opportunity in the history of Wheel of Fortune, and Luke reviews the film The Martian. Plus, Music For Your Werbkend! Special thanks to Patrick Meagher and Christopher Curran for supporting this episode of TBTL!

Luke and Andrew have never seen a rabbit hole they won't jump down, and today's show is a good example. Discussions include: sweat-shorts, hiding things in walls, the increasingly curious history of Luke's new house, grocery store gentrification, a local podcast contest, pool stores and pH levels. There's also some talk of Björk's middle finger. Special thanks to Laurel Kate Sittig and Justine George for supporting today's show.

Luke and Rudy are relegated to the garage for today's show, but Andrew convinces him to make the most of it. TBTL friendo Chris Hayes of MSNBC calls-in to explain why Luke is wrong about Volkswagen. And comedian Cameron Esposito joins us to talk about her time as a circus ringmaster. Special thanks to Robert Holland and Lori Magnuson for supporting this episode of TBTL!

Playboy is going to stop featuring nudity in its magazine. Luke and Andrew didn't even know there were pictures of naked ladies in there. Also, Luke wonders if he's a bad person when it comes to his feelings about Volkswagen. Special thanks to our friends Rob Peacock and Becca Bolden for supporting today's episode!

A scientist in Boston says he hasn't showered in 12 years, thanks to a special spray he invented. Luke and Andrew discuss the implications of that and whether or not they wear too much cologne. Other topics include Ringo Starr songs and what constitutes a "rock block" versus a "two-fer Tuesday". Plus, listeners weigh-in on Alex Trebeck's potential replacement. Special thanks to Matthew Bailey and Dave Gebala for supporting today's episode of TBTL!

Luke's experience at a Tig Notaro show leads him and Andrew to offer sage advice to stand-up audiences across the land. Also, Luke tries to decipher some of the most incomprehensible voice-over instructions he's received. And we hear some Music For Your Weekend!

Luke and Andrew discuss bumper sticker politics and Andrew's transformation into a human compost pile. Plus, we examine and dismiss the list of things you can supposedly get for free on airplanes, and we open the floor to you: who should replace Alex Trebek on Jeopardy? Special thanks to Elaine Lucke and Beth & Brent Lindholm for supporting today's show!

Luke is feeling blue, and Andrew tries to cheer him up with conversations about laundry soap, cereal bags, coat hooks, and Randy Quaid. Then Luke and Andrew correct the record on two big oopsies they made during yesterday's show. Special thanks to Evan Driscoll and J. Scott for supporting today's TBTL!

Luke and Andrew discuss the turmoil surrounding sports sites like FanDuel and DraftKings. Plus, Chrissie Hynde is SUPER rude to NPR. And we discuss victory, heartbreak, and blown calls in this week's edition of No Point Conversion. Huge thanks to Daniel Sabroe and Jennifer Linnea Strom for supporting today's episode!

Luke and Andrew discuss salads, salad toppings, salad bars, and other salad-related topics. There's also some talk of an app that would let you rate other people. And we discuss the undoing of American Apparel. Special thanks to Carolyn Froeschl and Michel Hughes for supporting today's episode!

Luke and Andrew make a pledge to be more gracious when people say nice things about them. Then Andrew brags about what an amazing radio host he is. Luke, meanwhile, is fascinated by an unusual lottery that is transforming a Canadian fishing village.

Andrew and special guest host Stu "The Stub-Bot" Neuman discuss Hillary Clinton's breakfast options, a guy named Fart, and a new rule for talking to strangers. Plus, we get to the bottom of a few curious song lyrics from the 1970s (because we are trying to stay relevant to the youth.)

Luke joins the show from beautiful Pittsburgh, where he's attending a public radio conference. However, things are not going as planned. Meanwhile, Andrew is either sick or faking sickness in the Koreatown neighborhood of Los Angeles. Also, listeners weigh-in with their suggested "John Boehner" chyron captions for the Daily Show.

Luke is on his way to the most-talked about public radio event of the year, and he tries to get Andrew to drop everything and crash the party. Plus, they discuss Trevor Noah's Daily Show debut, why Luke doesn't watch John Oliver's show, and the recent round of Genius Grant winners. Special thanks to April Kent and Chris Pugh for supporting today's show!

On today's TBTL, Luke and Andrew turn to the skies, where the moon is red, Mars has water, and $10,000 worth of weed is falling out of aircraft and crushing doghouses. Also: a recap of yesterday's mixed football action in our weekly No Point Conversion segment. Special thanks to Michelle Rickman and Mary Donahue for supporting today's TBTL.

Luke "Bannigan" Burbank spots a suspected car thief live during the show! It's very exciting. Plus, he and Andrew discuss moon festivals, the "Happy Birthday" song, and music for your weekend!

Luke and Andrew discuss their 1990s adolescent crushes (hello, there, Ms. Nancy Travis!) and why Andrew's fear of cheese is justified. Also, the man who brought bagels to the masses died recently, and he was more controversial than you might think. Plus, Luke discusses proper nicknames for his new city. Special thanks to Patricia Middleton and Carrie Powell for supporting today's installment of TBTL!

Luke and Andrew react to the TBTL firestorm that erupted after yesterday's God talk. Plus, the best audio of a couple of fisherman you will ever hear. And why Andrew needs to shut his mouth at baseball games.

Luke finds it odd that noted fabricator Brian Williams gets another shot at journalism today, while a comedian who lied about 9/11 is losing sponsorships. Plus, Producer Andrew lays some crazy fresh Bob Seger jams beneath conversations about the pope and monkey photographers. Special thanks to Patricia Middleton and Carrie Powell for their TBTL support!

Luke barely survives a weekend without his iPhone, and Andrew finds himself in an awkward Facebook situation (because he's an awful human.) Plus, Luke nervously opens an email from a shirty listener, then he and Andrew dissect yesterday's Seahawk's loss in TBTL's No Point Conversion. Huge thanks to Laurie Zelnick and Catherine Sigmon for supporting today's episode!

Luke tries to save his waterlogged iPhone on the air. Meanwhile, Andrew is looking for a dark place to hide from the L.A. sunshine. Also, the TBTL follow-up file is brimming with stories, and we explore some Music For Your Weekend!

Comedian Baron Vaughn joins the show today for a fascinating conversation about sex robots and singularity theory. Plus, Luke goes out of his way to embarrass himself in front of a new neighbor, and Andrew learns the true definition of a furry. (Today's show, in case you can't tell, does include adult themes and language, so be warned before listening with youngsters.) Huge thanks to Eric Englund and Michel Wendt for supporting today's episode!

Luke and Andrew discuss a comedian caught lying about his 9/11 experience, a flight attendant who uses the intercom too much, and the New York Times' propensity to over-explain sandwiches. They also read some amazing plot synopses from IMDB. Special thanks to Hillary Fleener and Dorothy Crutcher for supporting today's show!

Luke goes to war against the yellow jackets that are infesting his house. But his homemade bee-keeping outfit did not offer the protection he'd hoped. Plus, Andrew is having trouble telling real life apart from video games. And they discuss the evolutionary imperative for groaning at puns.

Luke is back from Arkansas, where he judged a squirrel meat cooking competition and made some new friends. He and Andrew discuss that and the internet's anger over a woman who likes to pretend it's 1885. Plus, the official 2015 return of No Point Conversion! Special thanks to Megan Dahl and James Drabick for supporting today's show!

Luke, Phyllis and Andrew are a bit loopy as they wrap up a marathon recording session. They try to define brain mapping, furries, plushies and tenth-anniversary wedding gifts. Special thanks to Bettina Maki and Emily Castle for supporting today's show!

Luke, Phyllis and Andrew go online to find out who owes them money. Plus, why Luke quit acting and why Andrew is so damned proud of a joke he told 10 months ago. Special thanks to Levi Fuller and Tarin Anderson for supporting today's show!

Luke, Andrew, and Phyllis "Fletch" Fletcher discuss how to turn a regular episode of TBTL into a "rumpshaker". Plus, Andrew records while legally blind, Luke sings the soundtrack to Ants'hillvania, and they both wonder what their legacies will be. Special thanks to Olivia Wilcox and Minda Brusse for supporting today's edition of TBTL!

Luke, Andrew and Fletch talk about their histories with video games, Andrew's growing obsession with Minecraft, and the time Luke broke his friend's tooth with a Nintendo controller then lied about it. Plus, what we talk about when we talk about balding. Special thanks to Brenda Skeel and Megan Van Houten for supporting this episode of TBTL!

Phyllis "Fletch" Fletcher joins the show to take a walk down TBTL memory lane. She, Luke and Andrew discuss one of Luke's most infamous stand-up debacles. Special thanks to John Goldman and Alanna Jaworski for supporting today's episode!

In this tangent-filled episode, Luke and Andrew discuss breakfast soup, Vietnamese cuisine, tic-tac-toe, modern publishing, Scientology, water fountains, dirty silverware, slip-n-slides, golfer John Daly, and Tony Shalhoub's brother. Plus, Music For Your Weekend! Special thanks to Mary Strow and Graham Ames for supporting today's show!

Luke and Andrew continue to be obsessed with their own, very different construction projects. They also discuss a judge's decision to throw-out Tom Brady's 4-game suspension and McDonald's decision to serve breakfast all day. Plus, a listener from Australia makes an admirable bid to be TBTL's new host. Special thanks to Jason McFarland and Jeff McKee for supporting today's show!

Luke goes full-Bob Vila on his new house. Meanwhile, Andrew decides to take up his own building project (in cyber space). Plus, Kanye West is not running for president. Probably. Special thanks to Pamela Harrington and Megan Kelso for sponsoring today's show!

Andrew returns from Cleveland with stories of rollie-coasters and Happy Meals. Meanwhile, Luke and Carrie are producing their own off-screen reboot of Tom Hanks' "The Money Pit." They might have made a terrible mistake... Special thanks to Aamir Siddiqui and Ariel Deardorff for sponsoring today's episode!

Andrew checks in from a family trip to Cleveland and wonders why he can't just keep his mouth shut while Luke tries to ride out a huge wind storm and power outage in Bellingham with mixed success. Also, thanks so much to our show supporters of the day Lauren Masterson and Breigh Roszelle!

TBTL Blogger Emeritus Stu (#hirestu) sits in for Andrew as Luke prepares to watch a Huey Lewis concert from the comfort of an RV, just on the other side of the fence from the paying customers. Plus, Staten Island apparently stinks to high heaven and Derland and Darvin Miller might be the coolest dudes/twins of all time. Special thanks to Melissa Carr and Nick Kokkonis for supporting today's episode of TBTL!

Jesse Case Skypes in from his folks' house in Nashville to talk comedy, cancer, and the unexpected upsides of chemotherapy. Check out his podcast over at www.jessevscancer.com Special thanks to Wayne Falla and Keith Brewster for supporting today's episode of TBTL!

Andrew's war with phone scammers has escalated. He and Luke discuss that and Burger King's attempt to sell more sandwiches under the auspices of world peace. And we hear a Danish hip-hop song which probably has nothing to do with the Digital Underground. Special thanks to Robert Garrett and Andy Olson for supporting today's episode of TBTL!

Luke and Andrew discuss foot pain, apple-pears, phone scams, burials at sea, and two men who plan on sailing around the world until they die. Also: When a hoverboard is not a hoverboard, and everything else that's being discussed on Facebook today. Special thanks to Andrew Tantillo and Chase Wiseman for supporting today's show!

Luke and Andrew discuss hover boards, roller blades, Straight Outta Compton (the movie), network security, the attorney general of Pennsylvania, avoiding the media, tricky football plays, military convoys, Red Dawn, and the value of Luke's TBTL show sheets.

The internet's most infamous joke thief tries to explain his actions, but he's only making people more angry. Luke and Andrew discuss that, plus a Summer Picnic post-mort, an impromptu No Point Conversation, and Music for Your Weekend! Special thanks to Andrew Tantillo and Chase Wiseman for supporting today's show.

Luke, Andrew and Tens of listeners gather at Chateau Ste. Michelle winery for the annual TBTL Summer Picnic! Phyllis "Phyl Donahue" Fletcher helps field questions from the audience, covering such topics as "danger pants", Luke's '90s haircut, live goats, and a very special proposal. Plus, the 2015 Song of the Summer is revealed! Special Thanks to Rachael Mcclinton and John Morton for supporting today's show!