TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Luke and Andrew discuss yesterday's Super Bowl commercials, whether or not it's okay to root against Cam Newton, and how it took a listener five years to finally listen to TBTL. There is also an amazing joke about Jason Bourne that will probably change the face of comedy forever.

Luke and Andrew deliver a true Friday show. Topics include: Standing in line at 7-11, license plate fonts (again), Luke's long-lost half-brother and a grandma he never got to meet, airplane food, Andrew's big Facebook mea culpa, sparkling water vs still water, microwaving fish and broccoli, and why we lost a listener this week. Plus, Music for Your Weekend!

Chris Hayes joins the show from New Hampshire, where primary voting is just days away and Jeb Bush is becoming more likable by the minute. Plus, Luke and Andrew discuss whether or not we should enjoy shows like "Serial" and "Making a Murderer".

Luke is high on life after organizing a bunch of cables in his studio, but he's also angry about a speeding ticket that a robot camera issued him. Andrew, meanwhile, has a new idea for the folks at Uber. He also met a guy who met Susan Sarandon once. And we continue our celebration of Groundhog Day with a rodent mystery.

Andrew has a list of famous groundhogs and he insists on sharing it, whether you like it or not. Luke, meanwhile, has a new reason not to exercise (but that doesn't mean he's going to stop.) Plus, the only tape of the very first Super Bowl has been discovered, but no one is allowed to see it, sell it, or do anything with it.

Luke and Andrew discuss why insane jealousy makes Luke want to be a lawyer and Andrew want to stare at blank walls all day. Plus, a new and improved highway sign font is being rescinded, and the internet is mad at a couple of dudes who want to make money from their web series.

Luke and Andrew discuss PETA's supposed plans to turn the Silence of the Lambs house into an "empathy museum". Plus, Andrew wants a 92-year old neighbor to play cards with, and Luke is going to have to stand in line to say hello to one of his famous co-workers.

Luke and Andrew spend a lot of time trying to come up with words based on official state abbreviations. They also discuss Luke's decision not to steal a joke, Russell Wilson's attempt at written romance, and the difference between being "aloof" and "confident."

The beef between flat-earth enthusiast / mid-level rapper B.O.B. and scientist Neil DeGrasse Tyson just got a little bit hotter. Luke and Andrew review the latest diss track in the feud. Plus, a white actor has been hired to play Michael Jackson in an upcoming movie, and Frank Stallone isn't getting the respect he deserves.

Luke and Andrew discuss the fight between rapper B.O.B., who believes the earth is flat, and scientist Neil Degrasse Tyson, who is not crazy. Plus, Luke examines 7 signs that Andrew might be unlikable. And then there's the humble bragging. Oh, is there a lot of humble bragging in today's show.

Luke is bacheloring it up while his wife is travelling, and in his case, that means looking at pictures of tents while watching football games. Meanwhile, Andrew is taught a new way to eat sausage. They discuss this and also a tweet that has Andie MacDowell coming under fire and a dog who inadvertently ran a half-marathon.

Andrew attended a Dave Chappelle show at a salsa club last night, and he's still in shock over what happened. He and Luke talk about that, and Phyllis "Fletch" Fletcher explains why she's joining the dirtiest, most smoke-filled Eagles club in the country. Plus, what to do about a coworker who won't stop asking you if it's Friday yet.

Luke joins the show from the back of an Uber in Chicago, where he and his driver, Wilson, search for his hotel. Andrew, from his usual perch in Koreatown, has been experimenting with new kinds of food and has an update. Plus: scientists have created a casino for rodents, and an Atlanta couple are being bombarded by people who think they stole their cell phones.

Revelations about a megastar's own private Benihana Restaurant has Luke jealous as hell. Andrew has big plans tomorrow night and he tries to brag about them without bragging. We also play a lot of Gordon Lightfoot and discuss all those ketchup packets that you've been accumulating in your glove box.

Andrew checks-in after being trapped in an "escape room" in downtown L.A. last night. He and Luke also discuss the "honey do lists" and "mancaves" of highly productive extraterrestrials, a Jeopardy! meltdown, and why the Tens say Andrew should like Randy Newman songs.

Andrew has accepted an offer to go on an LA adventure that combines many things that make him extremely uncomfortable. Luke wants to know why. They also discover a website that teaches them how to be funny, and they fight about Billy Joel vs. Randy Newman. Plus, they discuss the end of the Seahawks season in No Point Conversion.

Luke and Andrew discuss the bizarre story of a city official who asked a bus driver to dress up like an old woman for a press conference in front of a senior center. Plus, Phyllis "Fletch" Fletcher joins us to dole out some advice to a listener who finds herself in an awkward situation. And we share some Music For Your Weekend!

Luke corrects the record for Andrew when it comes to one of the most popular films of the 1980s and one of the most popular fast food restaurants of the '80s. There's also a story involving a researcher's notebook and an imaginary pile of poo. And we hear a bunch of songs that sample "Son of a Preacher Man."

Luke has finally gotten his hands on the book that helped him and his family prepare for end times back in the 1980s. Andrew is suffering from a minor malady and also is curious why there haven't been more "Blair Walsh Project" jokes on Twitter. Speaking of Blair Walsh, we hear from a bunch of little kids who are trying to cheer up the ill-fated kicker.

Luke joins the show from a broken down boat with a broken down computer. Andrew is mad at his neighbors and the New York Times. They also discuss Sesame Street's upcoming season on HBO and why the email segment is scaring some listeners.

Luke and Andrew reflect on the passing of David Bowie, Sean Penn's interview with El Chapo, and why Jim Carrey is the new Kanye West. Plus, Stu "The StuBot" Neuman joins us for a very emotional No Point Conversion.

The cosmic sounds of Donovan return to TBTL in this Friday afternoon edition of the show. Luke and Andrew also discuss the origins of the song "Once Bitten, Twice Shy" and why talk radio needs more rock and less talk. Plus, Music For Your Weekend!

Luke and Andrew dig deep into Tom Brady's diet, the price of fame, and why Andrew wants to be Jay-Z and Luke wants to do stand-up in at "The Shakedown" in Bellingham, Washington (the Bay City).

Things get real when Luke describes his solo trip to the movies last night. Andrew admits that he's still chasing the Holden Caulfield dragon at age 39. Plus, Twitter is about to get a lot less Twittery, and a band angers its most ardent fans by reuniting. And the StuBot has a new favorite podcast (and some football analysis.)

Luke is on a new diet that involves fake cheese. Meanwhile, Johnny Manziel allegedly assumed a fake identity and disguise so he could party in Las Vegas. Luke and Andrew also have their first drop-battle. And they delve back into Making a Murderer.

Luke and Andrew are back with big plans for the new year. Some of them are lofty and life-changing goals. Others involve trying to remember the name of John C. Reilly. Also, Luke is finished watching "Making a Murderer", so he and Andrew swap their theories about the murder case it's based on (spoiler alert.) And, in No Point Conversion, it's a great day to be a Seahawks fan. But a Browns fan? Not. Really.

Andrew interrupts Luke's lunch at a Bellevue dumpling restaurant to find out how New Year's Eve went for the Burbank clan. And we listen back to an OG TBTL from 2009 that the Tens of Listeners spent all week hunting down.

Luke and Andrew finally come up with some great Y2K jokes as 2015 draws to a close. Also, some say George R.R. Martin may never write another Song of Ice and Fire book, and George R.R. Lucas is not the biggest fan of the new Star Wars movie.

Luke's brother is on the front lines in a war against Canadian grocery store pirates. Turns out, Andrew once interviewed one of those very pirates. Also, Luke and Andrew are obsessed with the Netflix documentary "Making a Murderer", but they don't spoil anything (so you should listen.) And the TBTL Tens have a new important mission to accomplish.

Luke has a new personal appliance that he tries out during the show. Plus, a newscaster loses consciousness on the air, Andrew has some issues in a Hollywood bathroom, and researchers think they know why you might not poop as much on vacation.

Andrew and Luke return to form with an epic (some might even say "bloated"?) post-Christmas edition of TBTL. Topics include beef bars, electric tea kettles, and why Andrew is afraid of Angie of Angie's List.

Luke and Andrew hop in a time machine and go back to the time they hopped in a car and drove to Arby's.

Luke and Andrew listen back to a very special pizza-based episode of TBTL featuring their friends Sean DeTore, Bill Radke and The Mummy. They also consider upping their sound-effects game.

TBTL's week of food-based micro-casting continues as Andrew, Luke and former TBTL blogger Brent Flyberg sample Luke's first pot of homemade soup. Also, Peyton Manning's latest Nationwide commercial is more of an emotional tone piece.

Luke and Andrew revisit the booze-soaked, burger-loaded days of Spring 2012, when Luke, Libby Denkmann, Rachel Belle and Sean DeTore competed in a cheeseburger-eating competition in the KIRO newsroom.

Luke and Andrew go down memory lane to revisit what is now known as "The Original Hot Dog Story," even though it turns out that it's not really the original hot dog story. But it definitely fits the definition of a hot dog story.

Phyllis "Fletch" Fletcher joins Andrew to talk about a reporter who decided to exact revenge against a rude reader and whether he went to far. Plus, in a TBTL first, we hear from Andrew's dad, who's got a few things to say about TV commercials. And Luke calls in with some words of advice.

Stu "The StuBot" Neuman joins Andrew to discuss wine-loving football men, the finale of Fargo Season 2, and what to wear to fancy cocktail parties. Plus, they play a holiday version of the IMDB Movie Tagline Game.

Luke joins the show from an almost-empty parking garage, where we assume he is half-dressed like a fat mouse. He and Andrew discuss Luke's plan to dance in a Nutcracker production tonight. Other topics include "Hug a Gary Day", why Luke wants to be a raven (it's not the answer you think it is), and how one TBTL contributor's wife avoided an unfortunate stigma related to Vince Neil and Barry Manilow.

TBTL overlord Steve "Dark Side" Nelson joins the show to talk about the Star Wars marathon he arranged for his family. Plus, Luke explains why he has to dress up like a mouse and dance this weekend. And Andrew claims that Luke is a Randian hero when it comes to HR paperwork.

Luke and Andrew pledge never to make a factual error on TBTL ever again, only to make several factual errors during that announcement. Plus, we take a listen to Kim Jong-un's hand-picked pop band. And in No Point Conversion, we discuss the Seahawks' and Browns' victorious weekends

Luke made a shoe-shine mistake on the streets of Chicago, and Andrew is in a fight with his computer. Despite these obstacles , they manage to discuss the new season of Serial, why using a period in text messages is bad, and Music For Your Weekend!

Luke and Andrew are concerned about the disappearance of both desks in hotel rooms and garbage cans in public. Plus, Andrew analyzes his brief return to the Seattle airwaves yesterday. There's also a lot of talk about sitting and buying rollerblades.

Andrew is gearing up for his nervous return to the Seattle airwaves this afternoon. Luke is talking him through it. Plus, many, many Dazzling Details (TM) are released regarding the secret Wu-Tang album and the sleazy pharmaceutical titan who bought it.

Andrew survives an unexpected eye malady that he was sure would blind him. Luke wonders why he's so impressed with famous people. And Rudy wonders if there's any more turkey sandwich left.

Luke helps Andrew with a Christmas tree-related conundrum and details his own current holiday living situation. Plus, Luke's hermano David Burbank joins the show to lay down some SERIOUS Lord of the Rings knowledge as it pertains to a legal case in Turkey. And a bruised Vikings fan named StuBot joins us to talk about this weekend's football match-up against Seattle.

Luke bought some very expensive toenail clippers, and he stands by his decision. He and Andrew discuss that and what you should do if you find hundreds of dollars on the ground. Plus, Music for your Weekend!

Luke is worried about aging as a windstorm rocks Burbank Springs. Andrew's got too much celery in the fridge. Luke thinks he's cracked the "first class" code when flying. Andrew is concerned that Nick Offerman's shtick is getting old. Luke is worried that listeners are going to kill Andrew for saying that.

Today's podcast goes off the rails before it even begins. Having said that, it might be the best show ever. Luke and Andrew discuss a botched attempt to create a community email account, the pickle that Luke is currently trying to eat, Luke's new dream job, and Andrew's advice for smartphone owners. Topics do not include a Panini sandwich Luke was hoping to eat.

Luke and Andrew reflect back on the live 2000th episode they recorded over the weekend. Plus, they set up an email account for everyone -- including you -- to use for their junk email. And, after one of the most humiliating losses in Browns history (think about that for a second), they present the latest installment of No Point Conversion.