TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Things get real when Luke describes his solo trip to the movies last night. Andrew admits that he's still chasing the Holden Caulfield dragon at age 39. Plus, Twitter is about to get a lot less Twittery, and a band angers its most ardent fans by reuniting. And the StuBot has a new favorite podcast (and some football analysis.)

Luke is on a new diet that involves fake cheese. Meanwhile, Johnny Manziel allegedly assumed a fake identity and disguise so he could party in Las Vegas. Luke and Andrew also have their first drop-battle. And they delve back into Making a Murderer.

Luke and Andrew are back with big plans for the new year. Some of them are lofty and life-changing goals. Others involve trying to remember the name of John C. Reilly. Also, Luke is finished watching "Making a Murderer", so he and Andrew swap their theories about the murder case it's based on (spoiler alert.) And, in No Point Conversion, it's a great day to be a Seahawks fan. But a Browns fan? Not. Really.

Andrew interrupts Luke's lunch at a Bellevue dumpling restaurant to find out how New Year's Eve went for the Burbank clan. And we listen back to an OG TBTL from 2009 that the Tens of Listeners spent all week hunting down.

Luke and Andrew finally come up with some great Y2K jokes as 2015 draws to a close. Also, some say George R.R. Martin may never write another Song of Ice and Fire book, and George R.R. Lucas is not the biggest fan of the new Star Wars movie.

Luke's brother is on the front lines in a war against Canadian grocery store pirates. Turns out, Andrew once interviewed one of those very pirates. Also, Luke and Andrew are obsessed with the Netflix documentary "Making a Murderer", but they don't spoil anything (so you should listen.) And the TBTL Tens have a new important mission to accomplish.

Luke has a new personal appliance that he tries out during the show. Plus, a newscaster loses consciousness on the air, Andrew has some issues in a Hollywood bathroom, and researchers think they know why you might not poop as much on vacation.

Andrew and Luke return to form with an epic (some might even say "bloated"?) post-Christmas edition of TBTL. Topics include beef bars, electric tea kettles, and why Andrew is afraid of Angie of Angie's List.

Luke and Andrew hop in a time machine and go back to the time they hopped in a car and drove to Arby's.

Luke and Andrew listen back to a very special pizza-based episode of TBTL featuring their friends Sean DeTore, Bill Radke and The Mummy. They also consider upping their sound-effects game.

TBTL's week of food-based micro-casting continues as Andrew, Luke and former TBTL blogger Brent Flyberg sample Luke's first pot of homemade soup. Also, Peyton Manning's latest Nationwide commercial is more of an emotional tone piece.

Luke and Andrew revisit the booze-soaked, burger-loaded days of Spring 2012, when Luke, Libby Denkmann, Rachel Belle and Sean DeTore competed in a cheeseburger-eating competition in the KIRO newsroom.

Luke and Andrew go down memory lane to revisit what is now known as "The Original Hot Dog Story," even though it turns out that it's not really the original hot dog story. But it definitely fits the definition of a hot dog story.

Phyllis "Fletch" Fletcher joins Andrew to talk about a reporter who decided to exact revenge against a rude reader and whether he went to far. Plus, in a TBTL first, we hear from Andrew's dad, who's got a few things to say about TV commercials. And Luke calls in with some words of advice.

Stu "The StuBot" Neuman joins Andrew to discuss wine-loving football men, the finale of Fargo Season 2, and what to wear to fancy cocktail parties. Plus, they play a holiday version of the IMDB Movie Tagline Game.

Luke joins the show from an almost-empty parking garage, where we assume he is half-dressed like a fat mouse. He and Andrew discuss Luke's plan to dance in a Nutcracker production tonight. Other topics include "Hug a Gary Day", why Luke wants to be a raven (it's not the answer you think it is), and how one TBTL contributor's wife avoided an unfortunate stigma related to Vince Neil and Barry Manilow.

TBTL overlord Steve "Dark Side" Nelson joins the show to talk about the Star Wars marathon he arranged for his family. Plus, Luke explains why he has to dress up like a mouse and dance this weekend. And Andrew claims that Luke is a Randian hero when it comes to HR paperwork.

Luke and Andrew pledge never to make a factual error on TBTL ever again, only to make several factual errors during that announcement. Plus, we take a listen to Kim Jong-un's hand-picked pop band. And in No Point Conversion, we discuss the Seahawks' and Browns' victorious weekends

Luke made a shoe-shine mistake on the streets of Chicago, and Andrew is in a fight with his computer. Despite these obstacles , they manage to discuss the new season of Serial, why using a period in text messages is bad, and Music For Your Weekend!

Luke and Andrew are concerned about the disappearance of both desks in hotel rooms and garbage cans in public. Plus, Andrew analyzes his brief return to the Seattle airwaves yesterday. There's also a lot of talk about sitting and buying rollerblades.

Andrew is gearing up for his nervous return to the Seattle airwaves this afternoon. Luke is talking him through it. Plus, many, many Dazzling Details (TM) are released regarding the secret Wu-Tang album and the sleazy pharmaceutical titan who bought it.

Andrew survives an unexpected eye malady that he was sure would blind him. Luke wonders why he's so impressed with famous people. And Rudy wonders if there's any more turkey sandwich left.

Luke helps Andrew with a Christmas tree-related conundrum and details his own current holiday living situation. Plus, Luke's hermano David Burbank joins the show to lay down some SERIOUS Lord of the Rings knowledge as it pertains to a legal case in Turkey. And a bruised Vikings fan named StuBot joins us to talk about this weekend's football match-up against Seattle.

Luke bought some very expensive toenail clippers, and he stands by his decision. He and Andrew discuss that and what you should do if you find hundreds of dollars on the ground. Plus, Music for your Weekend!

Luke is worried about aging as a windstorm rocks Burbank Springs. Andrew's got too much celery in the fridge. Luke thinks he's cracked the "first class" code when flying. Andrew is concerned that Nick Offerman's shtick is getting old. Luke is worried that listeners are going to kill Andrew for saying that.

Today's podcast goes off the rails before it even begins. Having said that, it might be the best show ever. Luke and Andrew discuss a botched attempt to create a community email account, the pickle that Luke is currently trying to eat, Luke's new dream job, and Andrew's advice for smartphone owners. Topics do not include a Panini sandwich Luke was hoping to eat.

Luke and Andrew reflect back on the live 2000th episode they recorded over the weekend. Plus, they set up an email account for everyone -- including you -- to use for their junk email. And, after one of the most humiliating losses in Browns history (think about that for a second), they present the latest installment of No Point Conversion.

TBTL celebrates 2000 episodes with a live show at the Neptune Theater in Seattle, Washington (The Bay City)! Luke, Sean and Andrew look back at 8 years of questionable broadcasting with special guest Jen Andrews and live music by Prom Queen. (A very, very, very special thank you to Chateau Ste. Michelle for sponsoring the 2000th episode of TBTL!)

Luke and Andrew prep for the live 2000th episode of TBTL by listening back to the 1000th episode of the show. And by wearing tear-away pants.

To celebrate Thanksgiving, Luke sits down with his siblings to talk about Burbank holiday traditions.

Luke and Andrew are simultaneously preparing for their Thanksgiving dinners and the 2000th episode of TBTL. They talk turkey (if you will) and side dishes. And then Luke sees something out his window that will definitely scar him forever.

A new ad campaign in a New York City subway car is making travel uncomfortable for some riders. Luke and Andrew debate whether it should have been pulled. They also review "Fargo" and "The Leftovers" WITHOUT SPOILERS. We promise.

Luke and Andrew examine all their ugly insecurities after run-ins with a rude flight attendant and a slow cashier. Plus, how McDonald's is trying to improve its drive through windows. And No Point Conversion returns with a recap of yesterday's Seahawks triumph.

Luke's voice is completely shot, but he soldiers on and joins us for what may be his final TBTL ever. He, Andrew and The Stu-Bot discuss a new John Malkovich film that we'll never get to see and a new core-building exercise that's sweeping the nation. Plus, Music For Your Weekend! And a big TBTL announcement!

Luke is sick and hung over from NyQuil. Andrew has had too much coffee. Together they tackle Carly Simon's big reveal, whether or not Luke should talk to Jimmy Page, and how Small Wonder led Andrew to be a young runaway.

Luke and Andrew discuss leaky basements, digging holes and building forts. They also investigate a new study that says coffee could extend your life. Plus: Guy Fieri's reaction to Anthony Bourdain's constant insults.

Andrew has some great stories about growing up in a grill-making family, but he also has some sad news regarding his outfit for the 2000th episode of TBTL. Plus, he and Luke discuss a CEO who is hoarding gold and silver in an undisclosed location in Utah, and they review two new Netflix series: Master of None and W/ Bob and David.

Luke and Andrew nurse their wounds after a weekend of bad football and bad decisions. But they learn that TBTL is a mood lifter (at least for them.) Plus, we hear from the angriest man in broadcasting.

Luke and Andrew try to stay relevant to their international audience by talking in great detail about the local public radio stations in Seattle, Washington. Plus, the sad but inspiring story of a man with a dream, a water park, and a piece of chain. Plus, Music For Your Weekend!

Luke and Andrew discuss the fascinating life of a man who steals trains and then returns them. Plus, a new study says it's best not to trust your coworkers, but it's not specific about how that would apply to Luke's high school basketball team.

Luke helps Andrew come up with some good jokes for his painting class tonight. Also, sports and alternative-metal music crossed paths in Yakima, WA, and it wasn't pretty. Andrew explains how he's different from people like Kanye West and Sean DeTore. And Luke likes his new office chair too much.

Luke and Andrew discuss the best way to survive the dark, wet days of a Seattle winter. There is also a lot of talk about ice cream cones, but that's unrelated.

A conversation about President Obama's new Facebook page leads Luke and Andrew into a conversation about true happiness and fulfillment in life and what makes for a perfect pair of "tonight pants." Special thanks to Sara Reinthaler and Thomas Quackenbush for supporting this episode of TBTL.

Luke and Andrew discuss a huge boon for their former radio partner, Mr. Dave Ross. They also discuss an octogenarian stand-up comedian, a hip-hop political ad, and the "uncomplimentary stew" of Andrew's personality. Plus, Music For Your Weekend! Huge thanks to Cheryl Axell and Michelle Neves for supporting today's episode!

Luke and Andrew learn that they are "the atonal jazz of podcasting." They discuss Luke's encounters with disgruntled bamboo distributors, Serena Williams' self-proclaimed super heroism, and whether The Godfather is overrated. Special thanks to Carmen Marshall and Kevin Wilson for supporting today's show!

Luke takes care of some menial home improvement tasks while recording today's show. He and Andrew respond to listeners' reactions to a TBTL policy change. Plus: Seattle's gum wall gets less gummy, and book store lovers are upset about a new book store. Special thanks to David Hicks and Heidi Kreizinger for supporting today's show!

Luke and Andrew try a bold new experiment on TBTL. It involves clocks. Plus, why the new speaker of the house has to have his office fumigated, Luke's rules for first dates, and why everyone is mad at Twitter today. Special thanks to Evelyn Saunders and Glenn Rosen for supporting today's show!

On today's show, Luke reviews a 27-year old movie that everyone loves, and Andrew reads a series of the most unfunny tweets anyone's ever tweetered. Plus, what do World Series fireworks have to do with breast cancer awareness? Plenty, apparently. And we talk some Seahawks and Browns in this week's No Point Conversion. Special thanks to Stephen Koranda and Claire E. and George McFall for supporting today's show!

On this Halloween eve, Luke and Andrew review their Halloween resolutions and swear to follow-through with them this year. Plus, we revisit the scariest TBTL story ever told, compliments of friendo David Boze. And we have a spooktacular edition of Music For Your Weekend! Special thanks to Sarah Soares and Linday Lewellyn for supporting this frightening episode!

Andrew survived a windstorm that lacked any kind of narrative arc. Luke survived three airplane flights that felt like four. Plus, the origins of the phrase "hand over fist", how to age gracefully, and the tropical cruise Andrew accidentally won. Special thanks to David Krych and Gail Floyd for supporting today's show!