Shutdown Fullcast

If you're thinking this episode seems strangely like the episodes the Fullcast releases when the world's operating normally, consider this: we were preparing you all along! (We weren't. We don't plan that well.) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the Shutdown Fullcast, the world's only college football podcast, only Bill Simmons podcast, and only Ringer NBA podcast. Today we're discussing: An American rite of passage: having to sweat in a pig costume on a 95-degree day Seriously, were all of you Piggly Wiggly mascots as kids What to do when Hank Aaron sees you nude What to do when you are a nude Willie the Wildcat The Deontay Wilder entrance costume of dangerously slapped-together dragon mascots "My mom managed a Big Dog Sportswear. Governor Schwarzenegger was coming to the mall." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Time once again for the college football internet's single most reliable content: PICKING COACHES WHO SHOULD FIGHT EACH OTHER Holly, Jason, and Spencer are each managing their own stables, drafting FBS head coaches to build five-man tag teams You, the Podcast Readership, have also filled out a draft board and get a five-coach team of your own Ryan is not here, so we're giving him all the lowest-voted coaches from your draft board Ryan's team will be competing for the Intercontinental title at absolute most Tell a friend about our stupid podcast! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hot streaks are real. Everyone gets that moment - on a basketball court or in a casino or at work or wherever - where you just absolutely cannot be stopped. These are, in effect, the anti-disasters, in which you are the force to be reckoned with. We are here to celebrate those moments, in your lives and in the lives of college football players, even if sometimes they're just "I did this dumb thing multiple times and it didn't kill me!" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jason quizzes Spencer and Holly on all the latest coaching carousel developments; like Nick Saban with a South Florida real estate deal, they struggle to break even but will hopefully get sweet national TV commercial gigs to help them out. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

February means Valentine's Day, and Valentine's Day means romance, and the Shutdown Fullcast means disaster. We review your tales of amorous failure and share a few of our own. Please note: if you have used the Fullcast to find love of your own, we would love to hear about it and we will not be held responsible in the event of your breakup. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Spencer and Holly are both out sick, so Jason and Ryan are joined by Banner Society's Alex Kirshner to talk about why Signing Day is suddenly a bad time for USC, what Georgia's rise as a talent state means, and what our individual college processes looked like. As a bonus, we're then joined by longtime contributor Brian Floyd to talk about the coaching change at Michigan State through the lens of "how could you drive an Acura to Africa from very very very far away?" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Way back in November, we went to Jacksonville and did a live show! I would be lying if I said i remembered the things that we talked about, although I know Florida disasters (football and otherwise) is on there. Also, UConn was playing Navy during the show. They lost by 46, which proves if your choice is come to a Fullcast live show or play Navy in football, you should pick the live show. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you're Mike Bloomberg or someone associated with the Mike Bloomberg 2020 Campaign, don't read below this. Just reach out ([email protected]) and let's figure out how your money can become our money. If you're not Mike Bloomberg, this episode is about theoretical matchups that would fluster 2019 LSU, and by theoretical we mean everything from very good Miami teams to time-traveling Derrick Henry clones. Does it make sense? More than our proposal for a top-loading microwave does! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is Odell Beckham Jr. a robot who spits out currency compulsively? Which Olympian was Spencer completely dismissive towards? Why is every Boston College coach's name "[First Name] Boston" and do you care that we just made that up on our own? Is Robocop real and how did he get to New Orleans? Can God make Ed Orgeron so strong that even He can't pin Coach O? Early in this episode, Spencer mentions the memorial fund for Ed Aschoff. If you're interested in donating but don't want to rewind to listen to him read the address, here you go: Donations to the Edward Aschoff Memorial Fund at UF’s College of Journalism and Communications can be made out to the “U.F. Foundation”, sent to P.O. Box 14425, Gainesville, FL 32604, Attn: Gift Processing. Please note "Edward Aschoff Memorial Fund" in the memo area. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

LSU-Clemson promises to be an intriguing game, with plenty of skill talent, schematic variation, and narrative meat to enjoy. And we talk about a lot of those things, because this podcast can talk about football when it wants to, dammit! But first we make you listen to some nonsense about the NFL playoffs, Nas, Ed Orgeron's shopping habits, Spencer's bare legs, and Pokemon. WELCOME! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Holly and Spencer really just wanted to talk about the most important event of the bowl season: Kirby Smart taking the heaviest Gatorade bath of all time. (And the resulting stories of our worst workplace spills) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

On this episode, people are injured/attacked by brothers, birds, guns, knives, Nerf ammunition, fool's gravy, squirrels, fish bones, and The Emotional Expectations That Come With Christmas. It's fun! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Technically, this is the bowl preview episode that contains both semifinal games. You will therefore not be surprised to learn that we spent most of our time discussing Potato Bowl recipes, Outback menu nutrition information, and whether all citrus fruits are actually just oranges. You're welcome! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Rejoice! The 40 for 40 moves to the location-based bowls, including the Arizona, Belk, Birmingham, Camping World, Mobile, Music City, Sun, and Texas. Somehow, these bowls are turned into a progressively harder video game of sorts, which ends with Jimbo Fisher buying someone else's hair. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

At least two things happen on this episode: The Alamo, Armed Forces, Cheez-It, First Responder, Independence, Liberty, and Military Bowls are mentioned in some way. We trade Missouri for Mexico. Which one of those two is worse for national unity? Hard to say. We'll look back in ten or twenty years and know the answer, though, so that's fun. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's time to review the Cotton, Gator, Holiday, Quick Lane, Pinstripe, Red Box, and Rose Bowls based on the following very silly premise - if you had to go back in time and convince 2009 you that this was the 2019 national championship game, what tale would you spin to make that sound convincing? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode starts with a discussion of a long-time Tampa adult entertainment store and mostly ends with unsolved axe murders. Somewhere in between those, there is discussion of the pre-Christmas bowl games, but only as they are theoretically useful for doing crimes. This is the 40 for 40 and shame on you if you expected something different. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dabo Swinney gets into some light idolatry, Nick Saban and Jim Harbaugh will get into a fight on Spaceship Earth, every bowl game is just a 1950s vacation to somewhere with cigarettes, and the Sun Bowl is the only bowl game anyone should really play Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Spencer, Jason, and Ryan meet to review the nominees for the 2019 BVP Award, the award we bestow upon the most college football player of the season. Many deserving candidates were discussed, from Hawaii QB Cole McDonald to LSU QB Joe Burrow's Butt. But only one could win, and we congratulate that winner, who we will not name in this description because that defeats the purpose. We also talked about Coach of the Year and Game of the Year nominees and winners. Are these awards real, you ask? Is anything, on a long enough geologic time span, we counter? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode contains discussion of many important games and coaching changes around the sport of college football, but let us be perfectly clear: the only actually important part of this show is our demand that Mizzou hire Coach Brick. Coach Brick is the way of the future for Mizzou football. Any option that is not Coach Brick is a terrible plan. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We continue our review of historical blood weeks with a trip to Thanksgiving Week, 2010. Ralph Friedgen was still at Maryland. Mike Stoops was still at Arizona. Dabo and Clemson went 6-7! These were different times, but that does not mean there was an absence of ranking upheaval, even if it cost us one of our best shots at a non-power making the BCS Championship. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So many things happened on this week's episode. Some of them were planned, like talking about the FCS bracket, reviewing how great it is that FIU's kicker throat-slashed Miami, praising Herm Edwards Brain for being trapped in the NFL, or feeling afraid of Ohio State. Some of them were not planned, like Jason's weird eating habits revealed or Billy Dee William's Grizzly Bear Movie. Again - only college football podcast, thank you for listening, etc. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Perhaps more than any other holiday, Thanksgiving mixes volatile family dynamics, recipes that amateur cooks can easily bungle, travel stress, and the potential for major property damage. That's a mixture primed for disaster and, good LORD, did y'all have some disasters to share with us. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Week 12 left Spencer, Holly, and Ryan with many important questions, like: Have Chip and Joanna ever found a corpse in a property? Why do people agree to go to Iowa? What do you with Utah at this point? What's the meanest thing you can say about the Georgia offense? How many people got convicted for that big biker shootout in Waco a while back? What do Texas and Iowa State have in common? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Bomani Jones joins Spencer, Holly, and Jason for a discussion of Banner Society and The Right Time’s series on how money and college football players meet Bobby Petrino wearing Sugar Bowl gear to his motorcycle crash presser Texas A&M and how you can avoid wearing a uniform by just getting a dog Which schools have never tried cheating Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

- Spencer has a new song for you! Won't that be a treat! - You can guess Georgia coach P.J. Fleck's catch phrase if you think about it - Baylor's anti-science crusade is breaking CFB analytics - Adjectives that must be used when referencing 2019 Illinois - Jason concludes 2019 Arkansas is the 1,014th best SEC team ever - Transitive losses to App State: everyone has one - Holly WANTS to talk about Tennessee? - Discussions of teams like Rutgers and Alabama Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Because it is Rutgers Week, we have given you an entire episode that is about Rutgers - its history, its highest moments, its future, its weird sandwiches, and so forth. This is probably what you wanted, right? Right??? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

An actual discussion about Willie Taggart’s firing at Florida State after just 21 games at the job, everyone wondering what a grown man has to say to get kicked out of the Liberty Bowl, clowning on Nebraska because we can, a brief mention of that whole Georgia-beating-Florida thing in Jacksonville, extended wowing at how bad Arkansas and Chad Morris has gone, and an appreciation of the only college football stadium that could be a level in Tony Hawk Pro Skater Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As we stumble into November, some of the possibilities contained within our Bold Predictions Game have proven true or false. Kentucky didn't beat Florida. An FCS team beat a Power 5 team. Auburn didn't lose to its first four Power 5 opponents (not even close, actually). Hawaii beat a Pac-12 team. Twice! But many predictions are still up for grabs. Which power conference won't make the playoff? Will every Big 12 coach stay in their current job? Is another school going to leave the American, inspired by UConn's bravery? Can UMass beat Northwestern? Can South Carolina beat Clemson? Will we get a Pac-12 title game with no California participants? Does Spencer remember our New Mexico Bowl partnership proposal hashtag? No, Spencer does not. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

WARNING: This episode contains praise for the Ohio State Buckeyes, substantive discussion of Michigan-Notre Dame, a fair amount of Rose Bowl talk, and multiple examinations of how the Big Ten could get two teams into the Playoff. While there are other topics discussed, we must warn anyone who is not prepared to get this Midwestern about the journey ahead of them, which features a guest appearance from Ludicrous Playoff Scenario Seer Alex Kirshner. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

These days NFL teams only move two places: to Los Angeles or away from Los Angeles (Las Vegas counts as both, just trust us). This sucks and is boring, so we are taking matters into our own hands and moving teams wherever we want using a confusing draft process with unclear rules. It's fine, it works out for everyone involved. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Holly, Jason, and Spencer come to you bearing the following tidings (I'm not totally sure what tidings are but I am also too lazy to look): - Behold our SOONER SCHOONER CHAOS POWERS - Some early nominees for the 2019 BVP, given to college football's most college football player - ILLINOIS LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOO - Butts - Now you know a single thing about Ball State! - Tell a friend to attend our live show in Jacksonville Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, we celebrate the eternal cyclical beauty of the Pac-12 devouring its own, Georgia functioning as a perennial drunken bridesmaid, and renew our blood oaths against Earth’s boldest enemy, The Moon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Georgia lost a Muschampin' Contest, but that does not make this week a Blood Week. (Patience, you who thirst for chaos and woe!) We will give you a dollar in Fullcast Download Store Credit if you can tell us what the Pac-12 South standings are, we determine how many games Iowa can win the rest of the year if they score twelve points and only twelve points in all of those games, we talk a lot about the extended Fansville universe, and the Sandman stops by for a minute. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Because we work with and around Braves fans, we decided to spend this episode contemplating the losses that have pushed various fanbases to consider just walking away and being done with the whole thing. Warning: if you are a fan of the Pirates, Bengals, and Arkansas, this will be a super unpleasant episode for you. But your life is probably kinda weird to start with, no? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Spencer, Holly, and Jason enjoyed Iowa-Michigan the way they didn't know it was intended to be consumed: entirely via Michigan radio broadcast. (Ryan just watched it on TV, like an idiot.) That's why most of this episode is Midwestern chortling and shouting, even when we talk about: - The ACC embracing nonsense as a conference identity - The Tennessee squirrel - Whether or not Pitt can fire the superweapon again, or even fired it at all - Auburn-Florida - Whatever the hell the Pac-12 is doing Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A hearty thank you to all the wonderful people who came out to our live show in Charlotte, where we did what any good guest would do and mostly just trashed the ACC. But, you know, in fun Fullcast ways. Did this tick off one person in attendance to the point where he almost kind of sort of tried to take over the show? Yes, but he's right that the ACC has won two of the last three national titles, a thing we definitely did not know and nobody talks about. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi, it's Ryan. I'm not on this episode because my internet was being a real shit, and I haven't listened to it yet, so I have no idea what it contains! I predict there's probably some talk about Rutgers and UNC, and Spencer probably freaks out about the Auburn-Florida game. Maybe something about Virginia Tech getting flattened by Duke? Shrug. Let's find out together. Surely I won't be mocked and slandered on this episode! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's time to stop and reflect on the season that's been. (Yes, we know there's still a lot of season still to come. Hush.) We're talking September Heisman, figuring out what happened in the early part of the season that will stick in our memories, handing out some Assies, recognizing statistical leaders like Evan Weaver, Tackle Bear, and arguing about cake. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Two things you will learn on this episode: 1. Never watch Georgia! 2. Always watch the Pac-12! Other things you will heard discussed on this episode! - The delightful weirdness of UCLA-Washington State - Pitt saved its only good idea for an opponent who might not even be accredited - The worst Arkansas team to ever be televised - Finally, communism accomplishes something Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Blood Week (which Jason and Ryan laid out a helpful guide to here) usually happens later in the calendar, but there's nothing stopping it from popping up earlier. We looked at three Septembers where the rankings became a real revolving door. - 2008, when Blood Week went to both coasts - 1974, when Blood Week become Blood Fortnight - And 1984, when we had a whole dang BLOOD MONTH BONUS FEEDBACK TIME! We are conducting an audience survey to better serve you (don't laugh). It takes no more than five minutes, and it really helps out the show. Please take our survey here: https://voxmedia.iad1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_ewVXHPZIsQNlxCR?Source=note Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We didn't necessarily learn a lot in Week 3, but what we did was important: just because Iowa-Iowa State is El Assico doesn't mean several other games aren't also El Assico. Looking at you, Florida-Kentucky. And Pitt-Penn State. And Michigan State-Arizona State. BONUS: stay to the end and learn about the dumbest midgame crowd entertainment plan ever, courtesy of Indiana! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We went back to Texas, and this time we talked about something wholly irrelevant to the audience: dead or mostly dead rivalries. Does that mean we spent a lot of time on Mizzou and Nebraska? Yes, yes it does. We're very good at reading the room, and for the right amount of money, we will perform at your wedding. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Like Hugh Freeze, Spencer's "out sick" for this episode, so Holly, Jason, and Ryan get to dissect Week 2, from LSU's fireworks stand offense to Hawaii controlling the Pac-12 to which OTHER old Tennessee coaches should take over for Jeremy Pruitt to P.J. Fleck getting enough video game cash to buy something other than the default outfit. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Long ago, Colorado decided it was going to turn Nebraska into a rival. It took a while to work, but the Buffs pulled it off, so we're following their example and creating new potential rivalries of our own with your help. (Oh, we also wrote some of them down.) This episode is also about Spencer being a coastal elite with a sincere love for Italian sparkling wine, if any of that appeals to you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Look, there's a significant amount of football discussion on this episode, seeing how Tennessee lost at home to Georgia State and (other football games that are not nearly as funny as that). I'm sure we said funny or insightful or stupid things about those games, but let's be honest about why we're all here: to talk about Hugh Freeze coaching a football game from a hospital bed they put in the press box. Because Hugh Freeze coached a football game from a hospital bed they put in the press box. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

ATTENTION LAWYERS: THIS IS NOT THE HEISMAN TROPHY WE"RE TALKING ABOUT. PLEASE DO NOT SUE US, AS WE DON'T HAVE MUCH MONEY ANYWAYS. This episode is about the People's Heisman, an entirely different award in that it doesn't currently exist in trophy form and has never formally been awarded to anyone, and a very similar award in that we only sort of kind of decided who qualifies for it. Simply put, the People's Heisman is for the players we remember fondly not necessarily because they were the best or most accomplished but because they were just so very memorable. It's for a Quinton Flowers, or a Joel Lanning, or a Scooby Wright, or a Jared Lorezen (RIP). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Between Florida and Miami trying to melt down in any possible direction and Hawaii-Arizona doing the same but with way more scoring and quarterbacks who look like they wanna fight Johnny Utah, Week 0 was...a colossal success! We talk about that and a few storylines we'll be throwing our stupid little hearts into this year. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Congratulations! You have decided to start listening to the Shutdown Fullcast, the world's only college football podcast. This episode is designed to help you understand the accumulated lore, riffs, and nonsense that make up the fabric of this show, but because it was designed by the hosts, it may not prove to be very helpful. If you are here because of a friend who recommended the show, please tell them thanks from us. If you are here because of a friend who has pranked you, please tell them thanks from us anyways. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices