Shitty Cinema

Shitty Cinema learns the the rules of the French Foreign Legion, and why pantyhose aren't gym attire.

Never get lost on a boat with a sex worker. They have no inner compass.

Casey can barely contain herself during the maiden podcast voyage of the film that taught her to love. Self love. I'm referring to masturbation here. FYI.

Can hair straighteners ever be sexy?

It's a tough game of who would you rather bang: Satan or an edgelord?

The gang parses the thigh strength needed to stay on a horse during a full speed barrel roll, as well as historical context of child assassination.

Dave and Juice prove they are impervious to being cultured when exposed to a classic

Learn how close is too close while having sex in the next room over from your dad.

Ever imagine what a clip art movie would look like? What if half of it took place in a strip club?

Emilio Estevez can't sweat his way out of this one! Technology is here to kill you!

If this movie has taught us anything, it's drop out of school and run a gas station. What could go wrong?

Cocaine filled photo shoots, nymphomania, and eating disorders (but in spanish).

You will actually be rooting for creditors by the end of this film. Bonus points if you can stay awake during the whole run time of the film.

All of the best from the 80's! Capitalism, hair, and horror! Beep boop bop, this one has robots!

If you say "blood fart" 11 times in a row, you'll have a stroke and won't have to go to work. I promise.

We aren't scientists, but we sure know when enough popcorn is enough!

Dolph Lundgren channels your weird racist uncle, Casey brings juice boxes of apple pie moonshine!

Schwarzenegger titillates with ferret play and babysitting! Don't forget to do background check people!

Treat Williams and B.D. Wong ask the hard questions: It's ten pm, do you know where your kids are at?

Once again, Juice flirts with danger in the form of a bloated Tom Hanks getting Jesusy.

Cocaine cowboys invade Disney! Dave delights with the dying gasps of four washed up men's careers!

Jay almost sells out the gang to monkeys and Laura Linney gets her period.

Books were never so sexy! This week we learn how wasps have sex and Ben Wa balls are never bought, but passed in a highlanderlike tradition.

Juice is almost kicked out of Sh.Tty Cinema for bringing Madonna starring in an Italian rape fantasy. Curse you Guy Ritchie!

The gang learns physics in order to understand how strong Shaq's body is.

Dane Cook s***s all over the kids of Sh.Tty Cinema. Luckily, Dennis Rodman brought a wet nap.

Mariah Carey reminds us why we should stop complaining about her lip syncing her performances and stay out of film.