Sex With Emily

What cultural or religious programming do you have around sex? Even if you didn’t grow up in a church, sexual shame is – in so many ways – the air we breathe. But here’s the reality: you didn’t put those thoughts there. Someone else did. And on today’s show with guest Erin Tillman, we’re calling out those judgmental messages, and choosing the sex messaging that actually serves us. The result? A radically more authentic, more liberated sex life. As an inclusive dating coach, Erin is no stranger to shame – and she’s heard it all from her clients. Whether it was that one rude thing a partner said that haunted you for years, or a parent that told you masturbation was dirty, shame love to hide in the shadows…and hold you back in the bedroom. So on today’s show, Erin and I talk about how we healed our own sexual shame, dropped performative sex, and got comfortable with the word “no.” You’ll also learn the difference between “no” and “not yet” when it comes to dating, how to make good choices on dating apps, and how to flip your internal shame script. Show Notes: More Erin Tillman Website | Twitter | Instagram Yes No Maybe List Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s a good time to expand our definition of sex. At the end of the day, sex is play for adults: it’s where we collaborate with another person, creating a momentary world of pleasure and eroticism with them. But so often, we assume that sex equals penetration, and here’s the problem with that: not everyone orgasms during penetration. Not everyone feels erotic during penetration! So let’s make sex more interesting and exploratory, shall we? On today’s show, I’m talking up all the different types of non-penetrative sex – like mutual masturbation, sensual massage, toys, hand stuff – to help you break out of a conventional sex script, and have sex that’s more tailored to your personality and desires. Because you never have to take penetration off the table entirely…but what would happen if you took it off the table for a little while? (Hint: probably more orgasms.) Show Notes: Prostate Play 101 Want to Try a Sex Cleanse? Penis Problems, Solved Shop with Emily 4 Ways to Close The Orgasm Gap First Date, First Orgasm, First Threesome Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How much do you know about your partner’s sexual language? Or your own sexual language? In this best of episode, sex educator, author and licensed therapist Jamye Waxman is here to talk about core erotic blueprints, sexual accelerators and brakes, and the sixth love language: space and freedom. Jamye and I talk through the communication skills you need to help your sexual connection thrive, because if resentment is the relationship killer…curiosity is the relationship healer. So in this show, you’ll learn how to turn your communication style from critical to curious, as you and your partner learn who you both are as erotic beings. Show Notes: For More Jamye Waxman: Website | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook The Secrets to Better Sex? Talk About It More About Your Erotic Blueprint Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jenny Mollen is the author of City of Likes, a fictional comedy about mommy influencer culture and the intensity of female friendships – especially when one of them is a narcissist. Are they obsessed with each other? Do they want to have sex with each other? And what do you do when someone’s perfectly-curated facade finally cracks? Jenny and I met years ago, and I know you’ll love her just as much as I do. Besides being a bestselling author, she’s also an actor, host of the hilarious “Third Wheel with Jenny Mollen” podcast, a mom, and wife to actor Jason Biggs. On this episode, she talks about the personal experiences with social media that inspired her book, why she wants to see a sex therapist, and helps me answer your sex and relationship questions. For example, if you’re in a relationship, is it ok to comment on someone else’s Instagram telling them how attractive they are? Jenny and I give it to you straight. Show Notes: For More Jenny Mollen: Podcast | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Website Her New Book: City of Likes Overcoming 4 Common Sex Fears Am I Dating a Narcissist? W/ Dr Ramani Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s my strong belief that pleasure is the antidote to fear, now and always. But when it comes to sex, we really can be our own worst enemies: what if my new partner sees me naked, and decides to jet? What if I try out some dirty talk, and my partner laughs at me? What if I approach someone cute…and they say ‘no thank you’? Fear can be crippling to our sex drive – but it can also be digested and processed. To do that, we can check the facts, we can remember that most things aren’t personal, and we can talk about our fears out loud. (Meditation helps too!) So on today’s best of episode, I’m talking to you all about YOUR sex fears: period sex, sharing a fetish with a new partner, old traumas, fear that you’ll never get over an ex, and much more to help you live YOUR most free, sexually healthy life. Show Notes: The Secret to Better Sex? Talking About It Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Shaun T is host of the podcast “Trust and Believe,” a world renowned fitness trainer, and a professional dancer. Not to mention a wonderfully sex positive man, but it was a journey – I repeat, a JOURNEY – to get there. On today’s show, Shaun T gives me his genius sex and arousal hacks, how he and his partner keep things interesting after 12 years and two kids, plus…his favorite kink. He also opens up about surviving childhood sexual assault, how he came to understand and accept his sexuality, and the trauma work he did to get to where he is today. Trust me: if you need an instant pick-me-up around your sex, sexuality, or your body, this is *the* conversation for you. Show Notes: More Shaun T: Podcast | Instagram | Website | Twitter | Youtube What’s Your Arousal Type? These Are the Five Arousal Styles. Which One Are You? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Despite their reputation as magical, mysterious events, orgasms are way more accessible than most of us realize, once we understand the science behind them. (And OK yeah, I admit – they’re pretty magical.) As everyone’s favorite muscle spasm, the orgasm is a series of contractions from your pelvic floor muscles, which all of us have, and all of us can strengthen. But what else sets you up for orgasmic success? What if you can experience one alone, but not with a partner? What if you can orgasm in your sleep, but not in waking life? And what if you want to experience different kinds of orgasm (like anal) or, want multiples? I say: be greedy with your orgasm and listen to this best of episode, where we answer all these O questions and more. Show Notes: 6 Kink Styles (& How to Explore Them) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you need to get in the mood for sex? Have a lively conversation? Be touched in a suggestive way? Put on something sexy…or, have your partner get dressed up for you? Today’s episode is all about arousal styles, and today, I’ll be looking at five. The science of sexual arousal is ever-evolving, but on this show I’m looking at some of the most common ways people get turned on (through conversation, visuals, touch, play or physical adventure), helping you ID what your style is, and what behaviors you can do in the moment to get it going. Kind of like love languages, but for sex. I’m also talking about the difference between arousal and desire, and, taking your questions! How to have sex when you’re stressed, anti-depressants numbing out your vulva, and if it’s OK to be more excited for masturbation than partnered sex. Show Notes: There Are 5 Arousal Styles. Which One Are You? Sex Up Your Love Language Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex w/ Ian Kerner The Yes No Maybe List You’re Kinkier Than You Think, Part 1 You’re Kinkier Than You Think, Part 2 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s one of the most common questions I get: how do I initiate sex the right way? Listen: there’s no one “right” way to initiate sex. But I’ll be honest, it might take a little warm up period to get everyone ready and on the same page. That’s because sex is just as much a head game as a body one, so in this episode, we’re helping you calm your nerves before initiation, recover from failed initiations, and walk into each sexual encounter with more confidence. At the end of the day, we all crave intimacy, and we all want to please our partners – and by the end of this episode, I think you’ll feel much more clear on how to arouse your partner. Show Notes: 6 Ways to Upgrade Your 69 She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does it mean exactly, when someone says they’re a voyeur? A sub? A cuckhold or an exhibitionist? It’s part 2 of our “You’re Kinkier Than You Think” series…and folks, we are getting a kinky education. On today’s episode, I’m walking you through your sexual fantasies to see where you land on the kink spectrum. I’m talking submission and domination, exhibitionism and voyeurism, even a little humiliation, if that’s your preferred kink flavor. But because kink is play, I’m also giving you some specific ideas for how to explore these fantasies IRL – and, bonus, I’m taking all of your kinky questions. Show Notes: Ask Emily: Kink and BDSM Ideas 6 Kink Styles (& How to Explore Them) You’re Kinkier Than You Think, Part 1 Coming Together w/ Celeste & Danielle Emily’s Shop Page How to Dom with Your Text Messages Kink & Casual Sex Justin Lehmiller The Communication Guide Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What would the world be like if we didn’t have shame about sex? Can you imagine how different your life would be, if you were told that sexual pleasure was healthy? If you were given the memo early on that masturbation was legit self-care, and that sex itself was joyful and good for you, rather than a one-way ticket to STI’s and unwanted pregnancy? Today’s best-of show is all about being the change we want to see in the world: becoming people who are conversant and comfortable discussing sex, because this is how we evolve people. Plus, I take your calls! Why using toys during sex is the literal best, what the hell a “lube shooter” is, and how to lovingly - persuasively - ask your partner for more oral. Show Notes: 6 Hottest Masturbation Moves Relax, It’s Just Anal w/ Dr. Hernando Chaves Seducing The Booty w/ Alicia Sinclair Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you hear the words “BDSM” and “kink,” what comes to mind? Leather? Whips? The truth is, all of us are a little kinky – you may just not have realized it yet. That’s why today’s episode is part 1 of a two-part BDSM and kink education series, where I help demystify this world and give you fun, safe options for exploring. Dungeons optional. First, we’re defining our terms and getting a grasp on kink and BDSM – including, what the hell “BDSM” actually means. Next, we’re taking a look at core desires to help you identify yours, and talking about the psychology of power and play. Finally, I’m giving you some entry-level ways to bring kink to the bedroom, whether you’re coupled or single…and, answering all of your kinky questions. Show Notes: 6 Kink Styles (& How to Explore Them) Ask Emily: Kink and BDSM Ideas Coming Together w/ Celeste and Danielle The Yes No Maybe List 5 Easy Steps to Start Exploring The Communication Guide Kink & Casual w/ Justin Lehmiller 5 BDSM Games to Spice Up Your Sex Life Tonight BDSM: A Beginner’s Guide to Kink You’re Kinkier Than You Think, Part 2 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whether it’s erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation or a slight penis curve, it’s common to have penis questions – especially when they’re affecting your sex life. But where do you go for answers? You come right here, to this informative convo between me and urologist Dr. Edward Karpman, as well as Jeff Abraham of Promescent. On this best-of show, we’re talking to you all about penis shockwave therapy, what to do when you can get erect (but aren’t climaxing), what to do when you take ED meds (but aren’t getting hard), and much more. Plus, I take your intimacy questions! How to get out of your head during sex, how to reduce anxiety in the run-up to intercourse, and how to effectively work with your penis as you get older. Show Notes: Missionary Sex Position - New and Improved For more Dr. Karpman: Website | Instagram For more information about Promescent: Website | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’re a parent or caregiver, should you talk to your child about masturbation? Yes. You absolutely should, even if it’s awkward, even if your own parents didn’t talk about it with you. (And let’s be real: they probably didn’t.) But I get it – finding the words can be hard, especially for such a touchy subject. That’s why today’s episode is devoted entirely to giving you tools, scripts and resources to help you. First, I give you the big why: Why should you talk to your children, and teens specifically, about masturbation? I’ll give you several science-backed reasons why it’s wise to do so. Next, we’ll do some masturbation myth-busting, to help alleviate any concerns, on their part or yours, that it’s harmful or unhealthy. Great news: it’s not! And finally, I’ll walk you through how to have this conversation, with specific verbiage you can use to help put yourself and your child at ease. Don’t worry caregivers: I got you, and in this episode I’ll also answer your questions about teens and sex. Should you talk to your teen about ethical porn? What should you do if a teen daughter starts asking about sex toys? All this and more on today’s show. Show Notes: Sex Positive Families: Website | Instagram Dr Lanae St John: Book | On Sex with Emily Shafia Zaloom: Book | On Sex with Emily Cory Silverberg: Website What should I teach my high school-aged teen about sex and sexuality? Masturbation Pro Tips (Part 1) Masturbation Pro Tips (Part 2) The Communication Guide Big Mouth Sex Education Good Vibrations Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On any given day, how do you talk about sex? Do you bone? Screw? Make love? According to my guest Amanda Montell, author of Wordslut, Cultish, and host of the podcast “Sounds Like a Cult,” the words we use to discuss sex reveals our attitudes about sex as a whole – even shaping the way we show up in the bedroom. In this fascinating best of episode, Amanda and I talk about sex slang and body part euphemisms, like the fact that we frequently cute-ify female genitals to make them less threatening. But before you go, “oh this is thinky academic stuff,” know this: practically-speaking, your sex life WILL improve as your communication improves. Listen in, as Amanda and I play with language to get the sex we want. For More Amanda Montell: Wordslut: A Feminist Guide to Taking Back the English Language Sounds Like a Cult Podcast | Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism Website | Instagram | Twitter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How exactly does masturbation help a sexual partnership? Let me count the ways… It’s Part 2 of our Masturbation Pro Tips series, and in today’s episode, we’re talking solo sex in the context of a relationship. I’m addressing some of the most common questions I get on the subject, such as: “if I already have a partner, why masturbate?” and: “if I masturbate in private, is it cheating?” We also discuss whether or not you should tell your partner if you masturbate, and touch briefly on porn addiction: starting with, is it real? Plus, I take your questions! How to set up your own “masturbation zone” when you live with a partner, whether it’s possible to have fantasy-free masturbation sessions, what to do if you can orgasm on your own but not with a partner, and much more. Show Notes: How to Find the Best Lube for You Masturbation Pro Tips (Part 1) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Missionary gets a bad rap. I’ve seen it called the “comfy sweater” of sex – and can we talk about the name? Not sexy. Almost…anti-sexy. But despite its label, I don’t think that’s why missionary is considered vanilla or boring. It’s simply the default position, the one a lot of us fall into automatically – making it easier for us to tune out, phone it in, and miss out on any potential eroticism. So on today’s episode, we’re going to make missionary more exploratory, as I address some of your common complaints. Such as: how do we make it more exciting? I’ll tell you all the reasons I love missionary, and give you technique tips to make it more surprising and fun. Next, vulva owners: are you having a hard time reaching orgasm in missionary? Of course you are: it’s not the prime position for clitoral stimulation, so I’ll offer position hacks that make it more pleasurable. Finally, is it possible to be kinky during missionary? Oh yeah: from bondage to dirty talk, we can leverage all that eye contact to turn it into the hot experience you crave. Show Notes: Missionary Sex Position - New and Improved The “Bottom” Line On Anal w/ Dr Evan Goldstein Pillo by Dame Position Breakdown: Doggy Style Vs Cat Position Magic Wand Mini Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Housewife turned billion-dollar co-founder Lisa Bilyeu is the picture of confidence: she’s got a thriving business, a partner she adores, and basically, is a literal boss. But she also overcame illness, insecurity, and massive relationship challenges to get where she is today. In her new book Radical Confidence, Lisa shares the lessons that changed her life, and helped her become the hero of her own story. On today’s show, I ask her about keeping the sexual spark alive in a longterm relationship, the “purgatory of the mundane,” and how to have a growth mindset with your partner. Show Notes: More: Radical Confidence More Lisa: Instagram How to Find The Best Lube for You Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So listen: is sex addiction real? We’ve all heard stories of infidelity followed by explanations of sex addiction as the reason for the behavior. But the truth is, just because someone cheats doesn’t mean they’re a sex addict. According to therapist Marnie Breecker from the Center for Relational Healing, sex addiction is indeed real: it’s an intimacy disorder with both emotional and physiological symptoms. On this best of show, Marnie and I talk about the common and compulsive behaviors of sex addiction, the deep human need for love and connection, affordable treatment options, love addiction, a how-to on IMAGO therapy (a great tool for communication) and healing steps for couples. Show Notes: More Marnie: Website | Instagram Sex Addicts Anonymous Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Did you know that masturbation helps you sleep better? Tones your pelvic floor? And – surprise – boosts your immunity? But let’s be honest: these aren’t exactly the main reasons people masturbate. You masturbate because it’s pleasurable, but as the OG form of self-care, masturbation delivers all kinds of benefits, physically and psychologically. That’s why today’s show kicks off a two-part masturbation series, and later in the month, we’ll look at how masturbation benefits a partnership. On today’s episode however, it’s all about YOU: common masturbation fantasies, how to mix up a stale masturbation routine, how to make your solo sex more erotic, and how to practice mindful masturbation. Plus, I take your questions! Can a vibrator desensitize your clitoris? All this and more on Part 1 of our Masturbation Pro Tips Series. Show Notes: Squirting Secrets w/ Deborah Sundhal The Sex with Emily Shop page Our Edging Guide Our Yes No Maybe List Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There’s a misconception out there, that once women become moms, their sexiest years are OVER. But as my guest Dana Myers explains, that’s nonsense – and as a mom, she can prove it. Dana is the founder of sex and beauty brand Booty Parlor, but she’s also a wife and mother to two children. On today’s throwback show, she shares secrets from her book “The Mommy Mojo Makeover” to help women rediscover their sensual self-confidence, fall back in love with their bodies, and masturbate for self-care. We also talk about resentment in a relationship (and how to fix it), and why mothers deserve a sense of sexual entitlement. Yes moms: you deserve sexual pleasure! If you want more of it – or know a mom who might – this is a can’t miss conversation. For More Dana B Myers: Booty Parlor | Website | Instagram | Twitter | Youtube | Facebook Try Dana’s pheromone fragrance & use code DANA15 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: communication is a lubrication. But today I’ve got the receipts: previous callers who took my communication advice called back, to give us a status report! On today’s best of show, I’m letting you listen in on my callers’ sex lives after they took the brave but vulnerable step of talking to their partners. We’ve got a longtime married couple, with a husband who wants more kink in bed; a success story of treating vaginal pain; a newlywed who brought BACK the spark with his man after incorporating role play, and a mom who never had any sex guidance growing up…and is now doing things radically different with her teen daughter. All of them are living proof that better sex starts with communication, so listen now, get inspired, and let their sex-cess motivate you to have a sex talk of your own. Show Notes: Emily’s Shop Page The Yes No Maybe List Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Audio porn is one of the most brilliant sex tech innovations of the past few years. It’s immersive, discreet, and super intimate – you literally feel like you’re in the room with people who are having sex. Plus…it’s a great way to ratchet up your own dirty talk or your masturbation routine. So on today’s best of episode, I’m sharing my conversation with Caroline Spiegel, creator of Quinn: an audio erotica app that was one of the first to market. We talk about audio porn and solo sex, how to use audio erotica with a partner, and a special bonus! Caroline and I listen to some audio erotica together, including a guided masturbation clip. Plus, we take your questions like, enjoying porn as a blind individual, how to embrace a naturally sexy voice, and – wild card – can you really be allergic to semen? Find out on today’s show. More Try Quinn: Website | Apple App Store | Android App Store | Instagram | Twitter Show Notes: How Do I Explore Bisexuality While In a Relationship? The Yes No Maybe List Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Just like going to the gym improves your body, going to therapy improves your mind. And bonus: couple’s counseling can radically improve your relationship and your sex life. So why do some people absolutely refuse to go? On today’s show, I’m giving you the therapy low-down, so you can decide whether you should try it – or, if it’s the right call for you and your partner. I’m talking: signs it’s time to look for a therapist, pros and cons of solo therapy vs. couple’s counseling, whether sex therapy is right for you, what to expect from a typical therapy session, and how to find therapy that works for you – including budget-friendly options. Plus, I take your therapy-related questions on porn addiction, sexual trauma and what to do if you tried to improve your sex life with your partner…but they cheated anyway. Show Notes: Ask Emily: My Wife Cheated American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists Book: The Body Keeps The Score Book: Maybe You Should Talk to Someone Maximize Your Orgasm w/ Dolly Josette Ask Emily How Do You Get Your Partner to Go to Therapy Book: So Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex Book: She Comes First Therapy for Black Girls Therapy for LatinX EMDRIA Best of: Coming Together w/ Celeste and Danielle Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you’re desperate to fix your sex life with your partner, what do you do? (You call me, of course.) Maybe the sex started hot, but got real boring. Or maybe you and your crush are finally hooking up…but the sex is meh, and it’s a huge letdown. What now? On today’s Best Of hotline show, I’m sharing some of my favorite listener questions and letting you listen in as we talk through solutions. We’ve got sex-stonewalling partners. Compersion vs. cuckholding. A self-described “lazy lover.” Bisexuality, plus a squirting tutorial. Trust me, if you’ve got the right communication skills, you can talk through anything: and on this episode, I help you make those sex talks way less gnarly. Show Notes: Our Yes No Maybe List Emily’s Shop Page The Magic Wand The Womanizer Boston Scientific New Low T Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When it comes to sex, a lot of us have a movie in our head about the way it “should” go down. I should look a certain way. They should kiss me a certain way. We should have epic orgasms. In other words, picture perfect... But here’s the real real: you’re going to orgasm way easier – and more intensely – if you can get out of your head, and into your body. So on today’s show, I’m helping you have fully embodied sex using your five senses. Together we can remove the mental blocks from orgasm. If you're not turned on or inspired to have sex, these are sensory tools you can use to seduce yourself or your partner…and feel all the electric sensations leading up to the big O. Plus, I take your questions: how to talk dirty without swearing, how to bring back an MIA orgasm, how to stop disassociating during sex and much more. Show Notes: Ask Emily: How Do I Partner I’ve Been Faking Orgasms The Fin by Dame Podcast: Where Did My Orgasm Go? Our Communication Guide Talk Dirty to Me w/ Joanna Angel Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To create our hottest, most fulfilling sex life, there’s one critical thing we need – and no, it’s not flavored lube. We need boundaries, and the ability to express them to others. But what is a “boundary,” exactly? As a buzzword and an emerging concept, boundaries can improve every relationship, sexual or otherwise. So on today’s best-of show, sex therapist, author and my dear friend Dr. Jennifer Freed and I help you figure out what your boundaries are, how to set them with others (and follow through), and how to NOT let people steamroll over your values…especially when you’re a people pleaser. For more Dr Jennifer Freed: Website | Instagram | Twitter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you actually want to feel during sex? On today’s best-of episode, my friends Celeste Hirshman & Danielle Harel, co-authors of Coming Together: Embracing Your Core Desires for Sexual Fulfillment and Long-Term Compatibility, help reveal your core desires – your personal, psychological motivation for having sex, and how to get that feeling in the moment. Celeste, Danielle and I talk about how sex can be a medicine for old wounds we felt growing up: whether you want to feel powerful, special, even degraded in bed – it all goes back to our personal history, and what we’re looking for when we have sex. We also talk about creating your hottest sexual movie, how to perform sexual breathing, and why – if you want sex to last in a long-term relationship – you really have to do this core desire work. It’s a can’t miss episode of sexual wisdom, whether you’re single, partnered, or simply want to know what gets you hot. For more Celeste, Danielle & Somatica Institute: Website | Instagram | Twitter | Youtube | Facebook Join the Fall 2022 Somatica Sex & Relationship Coach Training To Find a Coach Near You Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Here’s something wild: nearly half of people in monogamous relationships report they’ve had affairs, according to recent research. Half! And that’s just the people who admitted it. We can all agree that getting cheated on feels awful – as in, the literal worst. So why is it so common? In this episode, we’re talking trust and infidelity as we break down the reasons why people cheat, what to do if an affair has happened, and deciding whether to rebuild or break up and move on. Plus, I take your questions on trust and infidelity: how to restore your confidence after an affair, what to do if you suspect or just caught your partner cheating, and how to come back from online infidelity. Show Notes: Ask Emily: How Do I Tell My Partner I Don’t Like Something? The Gottmans on Compatibility, Conflict & Conversation For More Information on EMDR Therapy Tips for Better Communication Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So you’re ready to date. Fantastic! But are you feeling a little rusty on flirting? Making the first move? And, real talk: how’s your dating app profile? Today’s show is your dating primer 101, so you can walk into every date knowing exactly what you want: whether it’s a long-term partner, or a just-for-the-night hookup. I’m talking how to meet people, how to make sexy conversations, how to take your best dating app pics, and what people are looking for when they’re on a date. Plus, I take your questions! How to feel more confident saying “yes” to dates, how to express your intentions around sex, when to bring sex toys into the bedroom and much more. Show Notes: 15 Types of Sexuality and Attraction to Help You Understand Your Desire Style Friends with Benefits: A Guide Esther Perel’s Game: So Where Should We Begin? We’re Not Really Strangers Game The Gottman Institute’s Game The Magic Wand Emily’s Crave Vesper Vibrator Necklace Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When it comes to relationships across the board – from sex, to work, to friendships – do you actually know what impression you’re having on others? Especially when you first meet someone? In this best of show, I’m throwing it back to my conversation with fellow podcaster Jordan Harbinger, who gets real on social behaviors and the power of body language. Jordan and I talk about the difference between authenticity and hustling, confidence while dating, and the shocking power of nonverbal communication. He coaches us on developing open, positive body postures, and helps all of us walk into a room with charisma and curiosity. For More Jordan Harbinger Website | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is there a vulva owner in your life you’d love to treat? By giving them the best oral sex of their life? You’ve come to the right place. Whether or not you’re with someone currently, or simply want to brush up on your oral skills for the future, it’s never a bad time to sharpen your pleasure techniques. After the blow job episode I did earlier this month I promised that you’d get an oral sex show specifically for vulvas – and it’s here. In today’s episode, I’m talking you through everything you need to know to deliver A+ oral sex, specifically for vulvas. I’m teaching how to tease, how to use your tongue, how to perform the Kivin method, and how to stimulate the famous G-spot. Plus, I take your questions! What to do if you desperately want oral but your partner isn’t too keen on giving. How to let go of potential insecurities and truly enjoy receiving. What to do when your hygiene concerns are getting in the way of pleasure, How to reduce discomfort while giving. Plus, how to give your partner pointers on what you like and tips for a squirting experience. Show Notes: The Most Common Problems for Vulvas Mind-Blowing Oral Sex in Under 5 Minutes: The Kivin Method Emily’s Shop Page Ask Emily: How Do I Go Down On a Vulva? The Vulva Gallery Squirting Secrets w/ Deborah Sundahl Ask Emily: How Do I *Actually* Start Squirting? Tips for Better Communication Guide The Yes No Maybe List Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Breakups completely, fundamentally suck – full stop. Especially if you’re still connected to the person: you still live together, you share friends, or…you can’t stop fantasizing about them sexually. And that’s because breakups function exactly like withdrawal: this other person was a drug of sorts, and now, you can’t get your hit. But breakups also teach us a lot about ourselves, especially if that person was annoyingly awesome in bed. So in this episode, we’re looking at the psychology of breakups, empowering ways to cope and move on, and most importantly, how to keep nurturing your sexuality while you heal. Plus, I take your questions! How to move on from a hookup partner who’s not ready for a relationship, what it means when you’re sexting with an ex, how to do the friendship custody battle after a breakup, and how to break up when you know it’s the right thing to do…but you’re terrified to do it. Show Notes: 7 Steps to Breakup Recovery Podcast More About EMDR Therapy The Yes No Maybe List Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you are someone who had substandard sex ed as a young person (all of us?), you are going to love this throwback episode with Gil Ozeri, comedian, actor, and writer for the very popular show “Big Mouth”. Growing up with adults who avoided the sex talk like the plague, Gil discusses the shame that can result...shame a lot of us still carry. That’s why “Big Mouth” (now in Season 5 on Netflix) takes the awkward experience of adolescence, demystifies it, and helps all of us get the answers we wish we’d gotten back then — while being super funny. If you’ve got a young person in your life, this episode is a must-listen. Gil and I take a dive into our own hormonal teen years, how to make sex ed more relatable, and tips for post-baby sex…because why not? I also take your questions: how to give a better blowjob, how to make FaceTime sex hot, and how to get your sexual connection back after the spark has died. For More Gil Ozeri: Website | Instagram | Twitter | Youtube | TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I am joined by Violet Benson, host of the new podcast Almost Adulting and creator of the wildly popular Instagram account @DaddyIssues_. Over the last couple of years, Violet has become well known for her irreverent relationship and dating advice. In this interview, Violet reveals why she has stopped dating (for now), what exactly a “pick me girl” is and how attraction is not always dependent on good looks. And because this is a sex show after all, Violet shared some tips for avoiding potentially embarrassing moments in the bedroom. This is a good one! For More Violet: Almost Adulting Podcast Meme Instagram | Personal Instagram | Podcast Instagram Twitter | Facebook | Youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re talking about blow jobs. It’s an oral sex masterclass, and you’re invited.On today’s episode, I’m sharing everything you need to know about oral sex on a penis. Also, I take your blow job questions: where to start as a beginner, how to enjoy receiving, what to know when pleasuring an uncircumcised penis and what to do if you’re struggling to swallow. Don’t blow off this episode. Together, we can bring your oral sex game to the next level. Show Notes: Everybody Loves Oral 6 Oral Sex Tips for Going Down On a Vulva Mind-Blowing Oral Sex in Under 5 Minutes: The Kivin Method How to Give A Better BJ Skyn Condoms Emily’s Shop Page Breathe App Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A great sext is all about anticipation…kind of like foreplay: And as the 21st century way to talk dirty, sexting — when executed well — can be super hot. Sexting is an art form, and in this show, I give you pro tips for perfecting yours. Because let’s face it: randomly sending a bunch of squirting emojis might not be as sexy as it is confusing, for the person on the other side. As with everything in life, good sexting comes down to emotional intelligence, so let’s talk shop. This episode is designed to help you send your best sext, and excite the person receiving your message. Plus, I take your questions! How to start flirting online, how to manage your devices so your messages don’t accidentally end up in the wrong place and how to have good phone sex in a long distance relationship. Finally, the Sex With Emily community has delivered, and I’m sharing YOUR hottest sexts. Show Notes: Talk Dirty To Me w/ Joanna Angel Signal Messenger What’s app Amorus App We-Vibe Toys Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Let the pulsations begin, because today’s episode is a love letter to your orgasm – and all the ways we can dose your body with pleasure. First, we’re helping you understand, anatomically, just what the hell is going on with the big O. And for my never-had-an-orgasm friends we’re going to give you techniques to help you get there. Finally, we’re offering tricks to elevate your orgasm, with everything from easy hacks to long-term rituals, to achieve the deep pleasure you crave. Plus we take all your orgasm questions! What to do when you can’t orgasm with your partner, how to break the habit of faking orgasms, how to bring back an orgasm that’s suddenly disappeared, and how to achieve the holy grail of multiple O’s. Show Notes: Shop w/ Emily The Womanizer We-Vibe Toys Dame Products The Edging Guide Je Joue Kegel Ball Set Biohack Your Orgasm w/ Alisa Vitti Bellesa Try Quinn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you cut out for friends with benefits? If you crave regular sex, but don’t have capacity for a full-on relationship, an FWB arrangement could be just what the doctor ordered. But there’s a lot you should know before diving in! For some, FWB’s can be a super satisfying way to get your needs met, without the commitment of a traditional partnership. However, just because it’s not “traditional” doesn’t mean there aren’t rules of engagement, boundaries, and lots of communication. In this episode, I help you self-assess to figure out if you’re a good candidate for FWB, explain how FWB’s are qualitatively different from casual sex and hook-ups, and hacks to live your best FWB life. Show Notes: The Communication Guide The Yes No Maybe List He’s Just Not That Into You: The No Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sexual wisdom (like all wisdom) is self-awareness plus lived experience. But I hear from people in their 20s all the time who are shockingly self-aware – they just haven’t stacked enough life experience to know how to navigate sex as it applies to them. So maybe that’s you, or maybe you're not in your 20s…but feel like you missed out on some sexual basics. If that’s you, gather ‘round, because this best-of episode is devoted to all the killer advice I wish I’d been given in my 20s. Whether it’s figuring out what your turn-ons are, what to do when a partner constantly cheats, or how to try anal (one word: lube), I’m answering all of your ground zero sex questions today. We get into all of that, plus how to approach your first threesome, how to seek out couple’s therapy (yes: you can do it in your 20s!), and how to communicate your deepest desires in the bedroom. Show Notes: The Communication Guide The Yes No Maybe List Coming Together by Celeste and Danielle Pjur Anal Lube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You’ve probably heard that the brain is the largest sex organ in your body. But can you really hack your brain for happiness? Or better sex? Psychiatrist and bestselling author Dr. Daniel Amen has amassed the world’s largest database of brain scans, and studies that information to reveal something fascinating: using neuroscience-based habits, we have the power to radically improve our mental health, our mood, and yes – our sex lives. Dr. Amen’s latest book is You, Happier, and on this episode, he reveals the lies of happiness, the stress hormones impeding your sex hormones, how to focus on micro-moments of happiness, and strategies for protecting yourself from the “noise” in your head. He also explains why happy people tend to live longer, have better relationships, be more successful in their careers…and, let’s face it, have way hotter sex. Listen now, to learn how to master your mind, and reap the rewards. More Dr. Daniel Amen To Order You, Happier Website | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Tiktok Amen Clinics Discover Your Brain Type 30 Day Happiness Challenge Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Let’s talk sexual tension and seduction, people. Maybe you’re single, and trying to brush up on your flirting skills. Or perhaps you’re in a long-term relationship, and frustrated that you don’t entice each other like you used to. Either way, I’m going to teach you how to build (or rebuild) sexual tension. At its core, seduction itself is about creating sexual tension, and to pull that off, we need a few things at our disposal, like confidence and radical presence. It’s a sexy sort of restraint, where your behavior is suggestive (not explicit), and your vibe is patient (not desperate). So today’s episode is all about sharpening our skills in the sexy and suggestive department. Plus, I take your questions, like how to make the first move, how to turn sexual banter into actual sex, and much, much more. Show Notes: Chemistry, Attraction & Connection w/ Matthew Hussey How to Be a Master Dater w/ Matthew Hussey Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sexual fantasies give us a window into what we need: a type of touch, a type of power, or even a type of person. But what if you’re one of those people who’s like: “I don’t know how to fantasize, Emily?” Then look no further than sex educator and author of Curvy Girl Sex Elle Chase. Elle joins me to talk about cultivating your erotic daydreams, what your fantasies say about your desire style, and how to turn a common fantasy into a reality: finding a friend with benefits. Plus, we take your questions! How to respond to a partner who desperately wants to watch you have sex with another (but you’re not so into it), what to say to a partner who thinks butts are gross, how to talk about your kink to a new partner and much more. For More Elle Chase: Website | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook Elle’s Naughty Coloring Book | Curvy Girl Sex by Elle Chase | Elle’s Fantasy Course Show Notes: Tell Me What You Want by Justin Lehmiller Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski The Yes No Maybe List We Vibe Toys Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you keep running into the same relationship (or sex) problems over and over again, what’s the one common denominator? Brace yourself…because it’s you. You’re the thing that carries over from partnership to partnership, which is why Gary Bishop, author of the crazy bestseller “Unfu*k Yourself” decided to write a new book – a tough love spin on self-help. It’s called “Love Unfu*ked: Getting Your Relationship Sh!t Together,” and I invited him to chat with me about it. In this interview, Gary and I talk about how to become aware of our destructive relationship habits, and concrete ways to manage them. He tells me the one simple change he made with his current partner that transformed their relationship, and we go deep on feeling threatened: the fight or flight response that inhibits emotional intimacy, not to mention our best sex. But we also talk about the hopeful side of radical self-awareness, and the opportunity in front of us, when we step outside of ourselves, look at our patterns, and change them – to create room for the pleasurable connections we all want. For More Information About Gary Bishop: Website | Twitter | Instagram Love Unfu*ked Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s show is all about exploring sexual attraction; what it means and how does it fit into romantic love. By the end of today’s episode, you’ll better understand how and why YOU may feel sexually attracted to another person and how that can sometimes be distinct from feelings associated with long-term love. Plus, I take your questions! What to do when you’re straight, but kinda wanna hook up in a non-straight way, what to do when you and your partner are both submissive (and both crave dominance), how to bring back the spark, and when you should hang onto a friend with quality benefits – and, when to let them go. Show Notes: Sex, Drugs and The Side Effects of Birth Control w/ Ricki Lake & Abby Epstein For More Studies From Justin Lehmiller Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Let’s talk anal play! If you’re a booty newbie, where do you begin? What feel-good nerve endings are you looking for? Should you start alone, or with a partner? And how the hell do you go shopping for butt plugs? Listen: if you’ve got backdoor questions, my guests Dr. Charlie Glickman and Dr. Hernando Chaves have answers. Today’s best-of episode is THE anal 101 primer, and if you’re not butt-curious now…you will be, in less than an hour. Listen up for tips to stimulate the prostate (AKA the male G-spot), how to prepare hygienically, finger techniques for prostate massage, and how anal play can add so much crazy pleasure to your sex life, no matter your gender. Show Notes: Dr Charlie Glickman | Website Hernando Chaves | Instagram | Twitter Aneros Skyn Condoms Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you kickstart sexual arousal? Would you believe me if I told you that sometimes, the best ways to get turned on have nothing to do with sex itself? When you take the focus off the bedroom, and turn your focus toward adventure – the kind that gets your heart-pumping, your adrenaline going, and your anticipation building – a cool thing happens in your brain. You’re excited, and that excitement spills over from the activity into…sex. Pretty nifty, right? So on today’s show, we’re going to trust, touch, and titillate our way towards arousal, with bonding hacks you can use on your next date whether it is with a long term partner or someone new. Plus, I take your questions! Ways to feel confident and sexual again after a breakup, how to have kinky sex with a partner who says they aren’t interested, how to decide if you should wait to develop a relationship with a super busy person or cut em’ loose, how to take sexy pictures with each other, and how to communicate your needs efficiently outside the bedroom so that you can reignate the spark when you’re back inside. Show Notes: Serena Kerrigan’s Let’s Fucking Date Esther Perel’s Where Should We Begin? Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski The Yes No Maybe List Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As much as we’d like sex to be seamlessly hot all the time, sometimes…it gets a little awkward. Too much teeth during a blowjob. An erection that won’t last. Someone farts! It happens - and when it does, it can seriously derail the mood. But does it have to? I’m of the opinion that if we know how to respond during moments like these – with compassion, collaboration, and sometimes a sense of humor – an erotic moment doesn’t have to come to an abrupt halt. So on today’s show, I’m taking the point of view of someone who didn’t “do” the awkward thing, they witnessed it. And by the end, you’ll know how to hold space, how to handle situations like these, and not shame the person on the other side – so you can keep the party going, and continue having fantastic sex. Show Notes: What It Really Means When You Can’t Stay Hard The Vulva Gallery Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Nothing makes me happier than people taking pleasure into their own hands, so my team and I have assembled the 10 MOST popular articles on SexWithEmily.com and we are dedicating this episode to the things our listeners most want to hear. Spoiler alert: you all love porn. And giving pleasure. I see what you’re interested in, I see what you’re curious about – so I consider today’s show scripted by you. It’s a deep dive into our most read articles; whether it’s preparing for a threesome, mastering awkward sex positions, or learning how to squirt. So buckle up, because this is quite the content-filled episode. Alright, let’s dive in! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you hear the phrase “self-care,” what comes to mind? Bubble baths? Booking a massage? Those things are all lovely (I’d argue essential), but I’ve got one more thing to add to your self-care routine, and I’m going to make a case for it: solo sex, AKA masturbation. If you’re a regular listener to this show, you know how much of a solo sex advocate I am. But we’re going to go a little deeper into this topic, because there’s still a lot of shame associated with masturbation: fear of getting caught, embarrassment about our noises and facial expressions, confusion around toys and which ones are best. That’s why today’s show is your Solo Sex 101, where we create a solo sex routine that works for you, get into all the ways solo sex nourishes your mental health, and how to get into the right headspace for it. Plus, I take your questions! When masturbation feels depressing, how do you learn to love it? Or when you’re asked to masturbate in front of your partner, but feel self-conscious about it, what do you do? I tackle these questions and so many more, on our solo sextravaganza. Show Notes: Dr Emily’s Shop Page Dame Fin Je Joue Mimi More on Information on EMDR Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices