Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships

Oh, that's crazy-making, right?You try to talk about your feelings and you get shut down?In today's episode, I give you insights into this whole nasty process of being blamed for being overly sensitive when you're actually speaking up for yourself when attacked.You know what I'm talking about. IT HURTS!Are you told that you're being overly sensitive too often? Hijackals® can be brutal. Nothing can be their fault, so everything has to be yours. When they want to put you down, and keep you down, they tell you how hopeless, useless, and worthless you are in SO many nasty, overt AND underhanded ways, right?And, when you speak up for yourself, they tell you that you are overly sensitive, that you have a thin skin.Or, the worst, that they were just kidding! You know so well they were not, but you also know that they take absolutely no responsibility for anything they do or say, so everything has to be your fault.Speak up for yourself, and a #Hijackal will say anything to squish you like a gnat! Today, I'm giving you insights into this nasty behavior, and a very good practice for how to respond effectively...over time.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Why telling you constantly that you're overly sensitive is abusiveWhat's really going on this dynamic between you at that timeWhat to practice saying to yourself to get ready to respond wellHow to speak up effectively for yourself...and, it works!I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #communication #overlysensitive #speakuptoabuse #highlysensitiveSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Has your partner every just stopped talking to you when things weren't going his or her way? Or, when you weren't doing exactly as s/he wanted?And, then, the next things: THE DREADED SILENT TREATMENT! The silent treatment is punishing, punitive, and often the way a person who wants power over you thinks they can control you. Sometimes, though, that other person--or, maybe, you--don't have the skills or confidence to manage conflict in any other way.Why do people use the silent treatment?They want to demonstrate power over youThey think you'll give in if they hold out long enoughThey want to punish you by withholding love or intimacy of any kindThey lack skills to communicate about difficult things...and they won't risk trying.They are afraid they'll lose, so they don't start the conversation.Any of those sound familiar?It's not uncommon for people to get scared, and then, get very defensive. That often even escalates into anger. Things can get very touchy!People will react in out-of-proportion ways when they are feeling their self-worth is attacked, or in jeopardy. That's often when they pull of that move: the dread silent treatment! HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:You can learn better ways to communicate whether you do the silent treatment, or you're on the receiving endFind out what's driving that silent treatmentFind the willingness to listen without judgment or defensivenessWhat emotionally mature people do when conflict arisesI hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #stress #self-care #emotionaldistressSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you ever try to downplay your need for great self-care? If you're like many folks--too many folks--you likely do! You may have been raised to believe that you should be ok, power through, and need nothing.You may have been told that other people are more important than you are, and that you are a good person when you put other people first...all the time!NO! Not good. Always putting yourself at the end of your list is DEFINITELY NOT GOOD! . You may well become a tired, isolated, worn down, and resentful person, though! That's definitely not good.You see the pattern immediately, don't you? You feel tired, and then, because a parent or someone told you that you should put other people first, you push yourself well beyond your limits. You "think you should!" ARGH! No, you shouldn't. Sure, there are crises and you might have to push through, real emergencies. But, really, those are few and far between. Not much is a crisis or an emergency, but too many people live as though everything is. If you're with, or were raised by, a Hijackal, that's how they want you to think the world works. And, Hijackals® are absolutely delighted to create crisis and emergency, after disaster and destruction. Exhausting! Sounding familiar? I had to learn all this the hard way, too. You deserve to be healthy. That's your job. Do it for yourself. I'm giving you lots of food for thought this week, and next week, I'll add even more to help you think about how you really want to feel, think, live, and love.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Why you may not think you need to take good care of yourselfWhat does it really mean to be selfishWhy being selfish is not a bad thing when it comes to self-careMany questions to deeply think about, even journal about, to help you consider taking super good care of yourself in every wayI hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #stress #self-care #emotionaldistressSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Any chance that you're getting your exercise by walking on eggshells?That's a tense, anxiety-ridden, stressful way to get your exercise. Exercise is supposed to make you feel better. Walking on eggshells certainly won't!Whether the #Hijackal you're with is of the narcissistic, sociopathic, passive-aggressive, histrionic, or borderline variety, keeping you on edge is their specialty. When you are on edge, they feel powerful, right? That means they are scooping up your power, and it's time to stop letting them.But, how? In today's episode, I give you four BIG ways that you must stop Hijackals from taking your power. Yes, they are four "big buckets," HUGE BUCKETS, and I realize that. They are not quick or easy, but I wanted to put them into your thoughts today. I'll elaborate on each of them in further episodes, I promise.Toxic people need control! It's what feeds them, and keeps them going. You know that's true, because when they don't get it, they explode! If they are overt, they go off like a roman candle. If they are covert, they are masters of The Silent Treatment. You know these!Time for it to stop. They won't stop, so stopping is up to you!I know, it's unfair. But, it's your life, and you have to take it back.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: How to recognize the toxic behaviors of toxic peopleWhat you might be telling yourself that prevents you from putting a stop to toxic behaviors4 BIG undertakings for you to stop walking on eggshellsWhy you need to do this now: P.S. You cannot stop any younger!I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #stopwalkingoneggshellsSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Abuse is any behavior that is designed to control or dominate another person. Whether that is through fear, humiliation, intimidation, isolation, guilt, blaming, manipulation, or denial, it is abuse, emotional abuse.When you were little, your brain was still growing. You instinctively knew that you had to keep your parents--The Giants--happy so that they would feed and protect you. At least, that's what you hoped.Many children, though, are emotionally abused. As adults, they often don't really see it and its impact on their lives and relationships. Today, I want to highlight some very real forms of emotional abuse that might have just seemed normal to you. After all, that's the only childhood you had! You had nothing to compare it to. And, you may have so wanted your home to seem normal.Children are too often made to feel wrong, blamed, and not good enough. That's emotional abuse, but emotional abuse is SO much more.You need this information so that you can immediately pick up on emotional abuse from your partner, boss, parents, or even friends. Once you've become used to it, you often put up with it on all fronts. I hope today's episode will cause you to deeply recognize what's going on, or has gone on.Today's episode will give you insights into:7 kinds of emotional abuse you may not have recognized. Thanks to PreventChildAbuse.orgExamples from my practice: anonymous stories that can help you understand even moreThe impact of emotional abuse on your life and relationships that you may not have realizedThings you really need to think about that could be keeping you from living fully and freelyHow you view the world with new eyes out for spotting emotional abuse and stopping it I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisordersSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor3 ASSERTIVE THINGS TO DO WHEN YOUR PARTNER REFUSES TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY It's so infuriating, right? A difficult partner, or parent, refuses to take responsibility for anything that isn't praise-worthy. S/he will step right in if they can take credit for something good, though. But, when something goes sideways, it's all you, all your fault , right?You don't mean to, but you may well be enabling that difficult person, that #Hijackal. Enabling is something you can stop doing! That's the good news.You deserve better than a relationship that keeps you down, and supposedly responsibility for all sorts of things that you didn't do, think, or say!Today's episode will give you insights into:why Hijackals® have to make everything your faultwhat you can do within yourself to stop enabling poor behaviorwhat to say when a Hijackal makes things your fault, especially things that aren't at all.eight questions to ask yourself about the patterns in your abusive relationshipwhy it is essential to get help as soon as you canI hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #difficultpeople #enablingabuse #takesnoresponsibilitySupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorTRAUMA-BONDING: Why You Create Toxic Bonds and How To Release ItA conversation between me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, and Dr. Gary Salyer, author of the upcoming book, Safe to Love Again. Are you so attached to someone that you are "hooked on hope" that one day they will treat you better? That's really common, and a bit difficult to step away from, I know. That "hooked on hope" can erode into trauma-bonding.What is trauma-bonding? "the misuse of fear, excitement, sexual feelings, and sexual physiology to entangle another person."*1"a strong emotional attachment between an abused person and his or her abuser, formed as a result of the cycle of violence."*2Now that you see those, do you relate that to what has happened to you with a partner, parent, or ex?Trauma-bonding is a real thing! And you can do something about it. That's what Dr. Gary Salyer and I discuss today. You need to know this, for yourself, your children, and your friends, too.Guest, Dr. Gary Salyer, talks about the six rights you have in life, and how having or not having them will make all the difference in creating healthy relationships. Dr. Salyer is the author of Safe to Love Again, an upcoming book that can uplift you if you've ever been deeply hurt by a relationship.More about Dr. Gary SalyerDr. Gary Salyer speaks to audiences across the country as a featured expert, inspirational speaker on how to create the love we all deserve. He is an expert in Attachment Theory, the science of relationships, Bert Hellinger's Family Systems approach and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). As a master transformational relationship coach, Dr. Gary helps people re-write the rules for love in their brains.Dr. Salyer is the creator of the Safe to Love Again™ Workshop and the Extraordinary Couples™ and Extraordinary Singles™ Retreats. He is also a highly sought after guest on various podcasts, TV and radio shows such as The Aware Show on Hay House Radio.Smart, savvy, professional women in their thirties, forties and fifties who are tired of the heartache in their love lives are resonating with the message of ‘safe to love again.’ Gary’s biggest passion is to help both singles and couples discover how they can have a loving sweetheart lying beside them at night, rather than a lonely pillow or a frustrated, distant partner.Today's episode will give you insights into:why you might have been been susceptible to trauma-bondingwhat is secure attachmentwhat is insecure attachmenthow you can see more clearly and step away from your abuserwhy it is important to realize that this is emotional abuse Find Dr. Salyer at GarySalyer.com, Facebook You can pre-order his new book, Safe To Love Again, on his website. I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? BE A PATREON SUPPORTER AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.Patreon.com/SaveYourSanityCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #difficultpeople #enablingabuse #scaredtoleavemyabuser #DrGarySalyer*1 Samsel, Michael (2008). "Trauma Bonding". www.abuseandrelationships.org. Michael Samsel LMHC. Archived from the original on May 10, 2018*2Wendy Austin; Mary Ann Boyd. Psychiatric and Mental Health Nursing for Canadian Practice. Lippincott Williams & Wilkins; 1 January 2010. ISBN 978-0-7817-9593-7. p. 67.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor10 REASONS YOU MAY HAVE FOR NOT WALKING AWAY FROM YOUR ABUSERCould any of these things be true? Your relationship is bad. And, you don't want to admit it.You keep hoping that things will get better.You make excuses for your partner's outbursts.You believe your abuser when s/he says you are nothing worth having, and no one else would want you.You hang onto the last time you heard "I love you" and fool yourself that it is true.Any of these sound familiar? You're not alone. And, these aren't even the ten reasons in today's episode!Who wants to believe they are being abused?Yet, you are being abused. And, yes, that is the only word that covers it.S/he is not going through a bad time, stressed, depressed, or repressed. S/he is like that most of the time, and wants you to think it's your fault, right?Well, it isn't your fault that s/he is unhappy, nor is it your fault that they are angry, upset, yelling, stomping, or threatening.It also isn't your fault if s/he is frozen and giving you the dreaded Silent Treatment.All those are choices your partner, parent, friend, or co-worker is making in response to their lives. They could choose differently but they don't because they want to make you believe it's all your fault. And also, being Hijackals, they will take responsibility for nothing, nor be accountable for anything.So, today's episode gives you ten reasons you may be using in your head that may be keeping you in an abusive situation. Once your recognize the truth in them you can change all that. It won't be easy, but it is best. You can have a healthy life!Today's episode will give you insights into:why you don't want to recognize the abusewhat scares you about actually calling it the abuse it ishow you have been groomed to put up with the emotional abuse, and verbal abusehow the Hijackal reinforces your fears about leavingthe real facts about what's real and what's not about leavingHijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! It's SO important not to respond with toxicity to them.Most important reason: you won't like yourself when you do!I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? BE A PATREON SUPPORTER AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.Patreon.com/SaveYourSanityCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #nopayback #difficultpeople #whoareyou #enabling abuse #reasonswhyyoustay #scaredtoleavemyabuserSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorIT HAPPENED TO ME: Today's guest, Christa, shares her story of life with--and beyond--a #Hijackal husbandThis is a special feature of Save Your Sanity. I occasionally talk on Save Your Sanity with people willing to share their stories of life with, and after, a Hijackal. That might be their parent, partner, friend, or co-worker. You can find a Hijackal in every area of life...unfortunately!Today, Christa shares her story.(P.S.If you decide to share your story, you don't have to use your real name!)Christa was married to a Hijackal for almost twenty years, and had three children. Finally, it became too much and she spent two years fighting for custody.Oops! Her husband was an attorney. I've had several clients in different parts of the world who had #Hijackal attorneys for husbands. So difficult! And, so difficult to divorce, in most cases.Christa attributes her winning to being able to have the funds and other resources to fight for custody for two years. Many people do not have the emotional and financial resources to do that. Christa was able to. She said:"The only person involved with our case who saw his side of things was his own attorney. I was granted custody but that, of course, is not the end of the story. He bribed my girls until each one of them decided to live with him. He found ways to turn them against me. He told lies to our neighbors and friends. He even called my mother and brother and told them they really didn't know me. I want to share my story so others know they can leave and reclaim their lives." Thank you, Christa. You've outlined several Hijackal Hallmarks:alienating the children with bribesbad-mouthing the other parent to make the Hijackal look goodtransgressing a basic statement in every divorce decree: not to speak poorly of the other parent to the childrencreating a smear campaign with neighbors, friends and colleagues to sway them to his side and make you look badtrying to alienate family members from you, and pretend that they have "special knowledge" of you, or say that you are unwell or unfitIf you have a story to share, please send it to me HERE if you're willing to share it. Let me know it is for the It Happened To Me segment.I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.Patreon.com/SaveYourSanityCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #divorcingatoxicperson #divorcinganarcissistSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorANGRY WITH A HIJACKAL? WHY PAYBACK WON'T WORKHijackal behavior is outrageous, and it gets your blood boiling too often, right? They are like vampires, draining your blood.And, you just want to show 'em how it feels. And, you want them to see how much they hurt you.And, truth be told, you want them to hurt the way you are hurt. So, you think that payback will help. It doesn't, won't, and can't.News flash! They don't care about you, or your feelings. They want what they want, and that is power and control.So, when you are poised to write that poison pen letter to let them know that they cannot treat you that way, you need to think about today's episode and change your tactic. You can never be who they want you to be because that changes with the wind. You have to know who you are and be only that. Listen. Get this right down to your toes, even though it feels counter-intuitive when you're hurt and angry. I know how difficult making the shift is that I'm suggesting today. If you're still so angry you could spit wooden nickels, Let's work on that together.Today's episode will give you insights into:why responding to the hurtful ways of Hijackals takes some finessehow you can take back your powerwhere you can find your greatest strength to stop being manipulated by a #Hijackalwhy payback never works with HijackalsHijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! It's SO important not to respond with toxicity to them. Most important reason: you won't like yourself when you do!I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.Patreon.com/SaveYourSanityCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #nopayback #difficultpeople #whoareyouEditSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorHIJACKAL® BLAMING? IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! Hijackals take no responsibility for anything they do. They refuse to be accountable. Yet, in order to pull that off, what has to happen? Everything has to be your fault! And, it's not. The patterns that living with a Hijackal create are designed to wear you down, to tear you down, to make you second-guess yourself constantly. Now, though, because you're listening here to me, you know that likely not one of those things were your fault.Never believe who a Hijackal says you are.Why? Because a Hijackal HAS to make you out to be wrong in every instance, so they can be right. If you're taken my online course, Seeing the Cycles , you'll know that a Hijackal MUST win, in every situation and conversation. Otherwise, they feel insecure, and you know they are not going to let that happen.Hijackals usually are nice in public and hellish at home. That's why, when you tell someone close to you about the horrible Hijackal behavior, they don't believe you. They don't see that person! That feels like a betrayal of you, I know. I've been there.Hijackals project on to you the things they most fear are true about themselves. Blame, blame, blame.Listen today, and stop taking on the blame. Even if it came from a parent decades ago, you can do some work to rid yourself of the remnants, and be truly free of that nasty parental voice that runs at the back of your mind at your most stressful moments. Let's work on that together. Today's episode will give you insights into:why Hijackals have to blamewhy what they tell you about yourself is almost never truehow blaming parents can have damaged your self-esteem and how to get it backwhy freeing yourself from these blaming relationships is importanthow to re-establish your self-esteem after a HijackalHijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! They try to poison you. Be clear that you are NOT the poison that the Hijackal insists you are, either. They will try to make everything your fault. Don't take it in!I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.Patreon.com/RhobertaShalerCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #strongboundaries #sayingno #backoffbuddy #noblame #itsnotyourfaultSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor7 RED FLAGS THAT PERSON YOU'RE DATING IS TOXIC. RUN! So many people in my Facebook groups write about their fear of dating after being with a Hijackal. They are right to be concerned, and hopefully, that concern will lead them to getting the best help they can so they feel safe with themselves. Then, they will further develop their Hijackal Radar. That's what I help them do when we work together through video conferencing.There are people who are momentarily difficult--like you or me on a bad day--and then, there are others who are relentless difficult. I call those ones #Hijackals ®. If you've been listening for awhile, or reading my articles, blogs, or books, you're already well aware of that term.My definition of a Hijackal®:"A person who hijacks a relationship--for their own purposes--and relentlessly scavenges it for power, status, and control." Familiar?Everyone has bad days. Everyone goes through rough patches. We've all been there.When it happens occasionally and completely unexpectedly, we know someone is "off their game." With Hijackals, it happens more and more. And, usually just to the people they say they love the most. In fact, more specifically, usually to their partner or child. Even, their adult children!It could be an impossible to please parent. It could be a partner who set out to "get you," and life has turned into one big "Gotcha!"These seven red flags to notice when dating can save you so much heartache later. So, whip off those rose-colored glasses and see these red flags for what they are: DANGER AHEAD!Get insights on:how Hijackals fool you when they are trying to "get you"why nothing is ever their fault, but everything becomes your faultwhy giving them more understanding, love, patience, care, or time will not helphow Hijackals erode your self-esteem and self-confidencewhat to do when you realize all this is trueHijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! They try to poison you. Be clear that you are NOT the poison that the Hijackal insists you are, either. They will try to make everything your fault. Don't take it in!I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.Patreon.com/RhobertaShalerCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #strongboundaries #sayingno #backoffbuddySupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorEVER FEEL LIKE A PRETZEL OR DOORMAT TRYING TO PLEASE A HIJACKAL®?Is there someone in your life who treats you poorly? Do you feel put-down, ignored, walked over, or taken advantage of?That's not good. You want to be seen, heard, known, accepted, acknowledged, and appreciated. You know how I talk about this in my book, Kaizen for Couples? Well, it is not just for couples. It's for every single person on the planet, and that means you, too! It will help you change your relationship with yourself, while gathering strong skills to communicate well, manage conflict effectively, and create rich emotional intimacy. If that's not the kind of relationship you're having with someone, then it's time to change that. It's time to get up on your back legs and say "NO!" and "NO MORE!" It's time to strengthen your boundaries.If you were raised by a #Hijackal, a relentlessly difficult person, you've likely been trampled on so frequently that you learned that it's often safer to just lie there. Time to get up!Boundaries frighten and inflame Hijackals. No question. But, you're not just going to lie there and take what they dish out are you? No, I'm not suggesting that you get in their face, and fight back. Something more powerful! In today's episode, I'm giving you some reasons and strategies for simply standing your ground without drama.Will the #Hijackal provide more drama? Sure. But, you won't. What the Hijackal does is on him or her!Your emotional health and emotional well-being is directly related to your ability--and your willingness--to manage your boundaries. Could they use shoring up? Today's episode will definitely help with that.Get insights on:what to do when a person violates your spacehow to respond when a person gets too close to fasthow to tell someone to back offwhy you don't owe anyone an explanation for why you want them to step backhow to give voice to non-negotiable boundariesHijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! They try to poison you. Be clear that you are NOT the poison that the Hijackal insists you are, either. They will try to make everything your fault. Don't take it in!I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.Patreon.com/RhobertaShalerCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #strongboundaries #sayingno #backoffbuddySupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorHOW WILL I FEEL WHEN I'M LEAVING A HIJACKAL?Whether that person has passive-aggressive, narcissistic, antisocial, borderline, or histrionic behaviors or tendencies, you need to know that you're going to have a totally mixed bag of opposing feelings on the day--and for a few weeks after--you leave. It's natural and normal.Leaving a toxic situation can be a double-edged sword: there is freedom and peace, and there is anxiety and loss. You'll experience both.Toxic people, Hijackals®, are looking for power and control over you. Because you are a good person, a loving, compassionate person, you were chosen by the Hijackal. Now, you're choosing health, peace, well-being, and self-esteem for yourself and your children. That's why you have made the decision to leave, and I know you've thought a lot about it.You likely thought for a long that, if only you would go the extra mile, be long-suffering, or justify, rationalize, or excuse the bad behavior, the Hijackal would relax, change, even love you. You thought that, with enough love and patience, s/he would change. Hijackals don't change...for the better!Today, I want you to know what to expect when you are leaving, and just after. I'm using my personal story because it taught me a whole lot. I hope it helps you, too.Leaving is not easy except where there is sexual or physical abuse. Even then, some people stay longer than is healthy. Now, you're on your way to a new life. Yahoo! A few highlights of today's episode:It's normal to be scared.It's natural to second-guess your decision.You will live.You'll do the samba: two steps forward and one back many times.You'll live.Things will get better.You will walk through SO many emotions, but keep walking!You'll live...lol.Are you ready to be free of this? To stop questioning your sanity and second-guessing yourself? GREAT!Hijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! You are being poisoned. You are NOT the poison that the Hijackal insists you are.I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #leavinganarcissistSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorIS IT POSSIBLE YOU'RE ENABLING A TOXIC PARTNER? TIME TO STOP! VERY IMPORTANT! NO BLAME HERE! Do not blame yourself, or take on any blame, if you listen today and realize you're been enabling your toxic partner to continue to behave badly. S/he was going to do it anyway. You didn't cause it. You are a good person, who simply didn't have an impact when you said no. So, now you've been worn down, and torn down, by their bad behavior. Toxic people, Hijackals®, are looking for power and control over you. Because you are a good person, a loving, compassionate person, you were chosen by the Hijackal.S/he thought there was a good chance that you would go the extra mile, be long-suffering, or justify, rationalize, or excuse their bad behavior. You likely did...because you are a good person, and you thought that, with enough love and patience, s/he would change. Hijackals don't change...for the better! Today, I'm talking about "enabling." Here's a definition that makes it clear:Enabling is the behavior of protecting others from experiencing the full impact and consequences of their behaviorThat's where the excusing, rationalizing, and justifying come in. You give them more than enough rope to hang themselves, and instead, they hang you!A few highlights of today's episode:Eight identifiable behaviors of Hijackals that you may be unwittingly enablingWhy it may feel like the toxic person, the Hijackal, treats you in a "Come closer. Stay away." kind of wayWhy enabling will NEVER get you the relationship you want: the one with honesty, safety, respect, trust, and reliability that I talk about in Kaizen for Couples: Smart Steps to Save, Sustain & Strengthen Your RelationshipWhy you want to stop enabling and learn the strategies to empower yourself BEFORE you announce you are leavingAre you ready to be free of this? To stop questioning your sanity and second-guessing yourself? GREAT!Hijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! You are being poisoned. You are NOT the poison that the Hijackal insists you are.I hope this help you see that more clearly.If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #amIanenablerSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor3 BIG REASONS WHY HIJACKALS® NEVER STOP AND WHY YOU MUST! Hijackals put you down, wear you down, and tear you down. They have to, in their minds because, at deep levels, you are THE competition!You are not, but they behave as though you are. And, no amount of assuring them, caring for them—or pandering to them—will change this. So, you have to change, because they won’t! Today, I'm giving you three reasons that you'll easily see in your relationship that the Hijackal is crushing you. You know this, and I want to put a spotlight on it for you.Can you admit these to yourself? That's the first step. You need to be able to say a clear "Yes!" not a "Yes, but..." with an excuse, justification, or rationalization of the crazy-making behavior.Are you ready to be free of this? To stop questioning your sanity and second-guessing yourself? GREAT!Hijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! You are being poisoned. You are NOT the poison that the Hijackal insists you are.I hope this help you see that more clearly.If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #relationshipsarenotcompetitionsSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorIS IT ACTUALLY COMPETITION THAT'S RUINING YOUR RELATIONSHIP? ARE YOU MORE FRENEMIES THAN FRIENDS? There's nothing attractive, compelling, or safe about competition in a relationship that is not on a playing field, in a pool, or a ring. It's destructive and exhausting. VERY IMPORTANT to recognize if competition is what's at the core of a relationship that doesn't feel safe.Do you feel safe in your relationship? Are you relaxed and supported? You want to be, and need to be. If you're not, it could well be that there is subtle (or overt!) competition that is undermining the relationship, and YOU.Are you and your partner a team? Can you, and do you, healthily rely on each other? You need to be able to!What's your part in this? Time for self-reflection. These questions will help you clarify what part you might be playing to keep the competition going. It's always wise to start with self-reflection first. Here are the questions I gave you in this episode to go over and think deeply about:Is there a way that I am inviting competition in my relationship by my words, my actions, my demeanor, or my stance in life, and in my relationship particularly?Do I turn everything into a debate?Is my first inclination to find fault, rather than see the good?When I'm really honest with myself, do I have a big need to be right?Am I only happy when I am winning?Am I on guard and look for ways to prove my partner is wrong?Do I have a glass half full or half empty outlook?How much of the time am I focused on what I appreciate and love about my partner?Is that enough?Do I have my back up and something to prove that keeps me concerned, vigilant, and on edge?VERY important questions. Maybe, you'll now see some areas you could work on, rather than start by what you want fixed in your partner. Will you do that?Relationships are not competitions! If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comI'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #relationshipsarenotcompetitionsSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorSpecial Conversation with ​ Johanna Lynn, Clinical HypnotherapistAll that happened to you in life affects everything that is currently happening in your life. If you are not getting the results in life and relationships that you want, then, you want to listen to this episode for sure. Unless you've had a reason or taken the time to think deeply about the home your grew up in, you might not recognize that you had a relentlessly difficult, toxic parent. If you did, the things you learned before you even could walk are affecting everything, on auto-pilot. That Hijackal parent taught you who you were and what to expect from life, and that parent lied to you. Really! MY GUEST Johanna Lynn, Part 1 - Inherited Family Ties and TraitsWhy are you comfortable being treated in ways that make you uncomfortable? Learn how your nervous system learned this. Families share operating systems, family patterns, family traits. Learn how your inner images of yourself and your family play out in your life now.Epigenetic patterns are real. Our inner images of self and family play out without our awareness. You need to know about this important information! It can clear up a lot of what has happened to you!Get Johanna's free gift ebook, Be Good to Yourself HERETHEN, listen to Part 2 on the next episode of Save Your Sanity podcast when we'll discuss emotionally unavailable parents and the issues they cause deep within us. Good news: those issues can be healed, and we can create loving, healthy, emotionally intimate relationships that not only last, but grow deeper and riches over time.If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97. New clients only.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comCONNECT WITH JOHANNA LYNN: Website: JohannaLynn.caFacebook: JohannaLynn.caTwitter: @johannalynnLinkedIn: JohannaLynnInstagram: connect_johannaYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #inheritedtrauma #traumaSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor12 DAMAGING WAYS YOUR NARCISSISTIC MOTHER LIED TO YOU ABOUT WHO YOU AREYou don't have to wonder where your self-doubts came from if you were raised by a mother who had narcissistic, borderline, histrionic, or antisocial--Hijackal®--tendencies. She made sure you learned to walk on eggshells, second-guess yourself, and question your sanity! She would never let you feel good enough. Right?In fact, she competed with you every second, on some level. And, she always HAD to win!A narcissistic mother has to be at the top of the pile. She'll make sure she stays there, too. So, where does that leave you? At the bottom somewhere. Now, yes, you may be what is called her "Golden Child," the child who can do no wrong. She may haven one of those, especially if you have siblings. She may also choose on "Scapegoat Child," the one who can NEVER do anything right. And, the other siblings will be lost in the mix.If your mom was like mine--and I was an only child--she just simple competed with me on every level all the time. So, how did she do that? By withholding approval, withholding acceptance, withholding affection, and withholding attention. It wasn't that she could play the piano or do other things I did. She didn't--and couldn't compete there--but, she simply ran hot and cold about my abilities. Such a Hijackal! One minute, she's telling the world about competitions I won and getting the credit for paying for all those music lessons, and the next, she's telling me that it's so annoying that I make so much noise practicing all the time. No-win situation!Today, I'm talking about twelve ways your narcissistic mother, your borderline mother, your histrionic mother, or your antisocial mother will have lied to you about who you are. They cannot help it. They just have to do it. And, at deep levels, you had no choice but to take it in and believe it. It was, and is, emotional abuse! Hijackals ® behave badly. They have an absolute need to have power and control over others. They are invested in keeping you down, controlled, and as powerless as possible. They feel they have done that when you are second-guessing yourself, and questioning your sanity.When you've had a Hijackal mother, you have a lot of unpacking to do, to unearth and replace all the lies she told you about not being good enough, competent, capable, and more. Please take the time to do this. You matter, and your life can be so much more free, rewarding, and fulfilling when you don't believe the lies your mother told you. You can have healthy relationships that are emotionally intimate, once you stop believing her. She was wrong!If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comI'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople  EditSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor4 QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF TO NOT MISS EMOTIONAL RED FLAGSDo you live on the edge, knowing that at any minute you could suffer from a stinger, a snide comment, or a cold shoulder from your partner, parent, or other difficult person?Are disdain and disapproval always waiting in the wings?Are you generally on-guard and waiting for the other shoe to drop?Those are feelings you have when you are with a toxic person, a relentlessly difficult person, a narcissist, a borderline, or other antisocial person. That's why you NEED to listen to today's episode to learn more.Today, I'm talking about four questions you need to ask yourself so that you will CLEARLY SEE RED FLAGS! Those flags can be infrequent, somewhat hidden, or some things you have unfortunately become too used to. Seeing them is the first step in making some big, positive changes to your relationship, first the one with yourself, and then with the partner. Do it to keep yourself away from emotional abuse, moving towards greater mental health! Hijackals ® behave badly. They have an absolute need to have power and control over others. They are invested in keeping you down, controlled, and as powerless as possible. They feel they have done that when you are second-guessing yourself, and questioning your sanity. If that's happening to you, this episode can help you clearly see that it is time for you to change your perspective, your attitude, and your strategies. You deserve to be loved and treated well. Start now!If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comI'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.Good tips for knowing what to do and how to respond.CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #systemicabuse #sexualabuse #physicalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor3 Empowering Responses to Backstabbers, Rhinos & Hijackals®Some days, it's very tempting to not go to work because of the people who are there, right? When backstabbing, bullying, malicious gossip, and all the antics of toxic people are present, you have even more incentive to stay home.Maybe, meetings take place surreptitiously, or are changed without adequate warning so that some people miss them is a way this shows up where you work. And, similar things happen at home when there are difficult, toxic people there, too.Oh, yes, and Hijackals® and Rhinos like to take credit for things they did little or nothing to achieve, too! Sound familiar? What do you do then? Listen to these empowering strategies for ideas on your next best steps.Bullies at work? Oh, yeah! They're there, and they wear you down and wear you out. You need these pro-active anti-bullying responses to feel safer around them...and more powerful. Because that's the issue, isn't it? They are there to make you believe they have power over you.Of course, if they are the boss, they do. Speak up to those over your boss. Or, if that's not possible, you'll be looking for a safer place to work now, right?When the bully is not the boss, though, you can first of all not tuck your tail between your legs and make yourself as invisible as possible. Yes, I know that might seem appealing--and with outrageous bullies that might be the only sane thing to do--however, when you make eye contact with them in a non-confronting way, you begin to take back your power.Power games? Yes, and remember the "game" part. If you don't play, there is no game. If you can stay in "neutral" and not give an air of feeling intimated, it's a very good start.Do you know the right path to speaking up about the bullying at work? Do you know what to say? Get good ideas and strategies in my Season 2, Episode 6 broadcast of 8 Strong Steps to Handle Bullies at Work.It's common to feel intimidated by a bully at work. No one enjoys being around them! If you can rustle up some nonchalance, a good neutral stance, you'll feel better and be more effective.You don't want to feel like a wuss, a doormat, or turn yourself into a pretzel around a toxic person at work, right? You want to have effective responses that reduce your stress. Really practice daily these three responses for the next month. It WILL help.Think that bully might actually have bigger issues? Read my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal, at Hijackals.com and find out. If s/he is a HIjackal, you need more strategies and insights and they're there for you.If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorWant to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 #dealingwithbullies #respondtobullies #howtorespondtoabully#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #systemicabuse #sexualabuse #physicalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor14 Questions To Ask To Know If It's AbuseAs I mentioned in previous show notes, being in an abusive relationship--even minimally abusive--is a little like being part of that urban legend of cooking frogs: you don't notice the dysfunction and abuse because the heat is slowly turned up. And, then? You're cooked!Coming to a place of recognizing abuse when it presents itself is a long journey for most people. Why? Because most people are good, willing to accept and go the extra mile, compassionate, and kind. When abusive behavior shows up, they are understanding at first. That's when it starts going sideways! And, if it happened in your home when you were a child, you didn't see it coming!Yes, it is wise to wait and see the patterns, traits, and cycles to be clear that what you're experiencing is abusive. Many people can say one abusive thing, one time, in the heat of the moment. Abusive people do it WAY TOO FREQUENTLY!So, you HAVE to recognize the difference between a person who is momentarily going through a difficult time and is cranky, and an abusive person who has no regard for who you are, how you feel, or what you think, need, or want. In this episode, I list fourteen--fourteen!!!--questions you need to ask yourself? If the person you have in mind is doing any, or many, of these things, it's time to wake up and smell the herbal tea. This person is being ABUSIVE! If you see patterns of behavior that are ones intended to dominate, control, or alienate others, these are signs of potential trouble. It only gets more serious from there.Think about these fourteen questions. If you recognize that these fourteen are things that are consistent in your relationship, it's time to do something positive and healthy. You have likely been making excuses for them for awhile because they are confusing, and you want to err on the side of compassion. With Hijackals, that can only go so far. You can have compassion for them, but it is essential not to condone or enable their behaviors. For that to happen, you have to see the behaviors clearly for what they really are.You cannot risk your well-being, or that of your children, a moment longer. This is REALLY IMPORTANT!Read my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal, at Hijackals.comIf you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comI'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. .CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorWant to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 #istiabuse #amibeingabused #recognizingabuse #thatsabusive#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #systemicabuse #sexualabuse #physicalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorIs Your Hijackal® Partner Difficult, Or Actually Dangerous? Being with a Hijackal is a little like being part of that urban legend of cooking frogs: you don't notice the dysfunction and abuse because the heat is slowly turned up. And, then? You're cooked! You want to believe that a Hijackal can change. In fact, most people in relationship with these difficult, toxic people are good people who want to believe that if they love, understand, be patient, nurture, and stand by these folks, things will get better. The likelihood of that happening is slim to none. Sure, it may happen for a week or two, but it won't stick!So, you HAVE to recognize the difference between a difficult person, and a dangerous person. In this episode, I'm giving you six things that that you will have to do differently, and why that has to happen right now.If you see patterns of behavior that are ones intended to dominate, control, or alienate others, these are signs of potential trouble. It only gets more serious from there.Listen to learn about those critical six things. You have likely been making excuses for them for awhile because they are confusing, and you want to err on the side of compassion. With Hijackals, that can only go so far. You can have compassion for them, but it is essential not to condone or enable their behaviors. For that to happen, you have to see the behaviors clearly for what they really are.You cannot risk your well-being, or that of your children, a moment longer. This is REALLY IMPORTANT!Read my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal, at Hijackals.com If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.Let's talk soon. I can help. One-hour introductory session for only $97I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comI'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorWant to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 #difficultpartner #dangerousperson #ismypartnerdangerous#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #systemicabuse #sexualabuse #physicalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor5 Telling Things People Say That Show Their Passive-Aggressive SidesWhen you experience passive-aggressive behavior from someone, it messes with your head. You question yourself. You second-guess yourself. It's crazy-making. A passive-aggressive behavior pattern in someone leaves you feeling confused, second-guessing yourself, and questioning your sanity. "Did I? Didn't I? I thought I did. I thought we agreed. Didn't we?" Sound familiar?You know about Hijackals® from my books and podcasts. One thing for sure is that all Hijackals are passive-aggressive, but not all passive-aggressive people are Hijackals. That's important to note, because passive-aggression may be the only truly annoying this about the person.Once you can put your finger on what's so annoying, you can set some boundaries, and communicate more clearly about what you need and want. That's important with a passive-aggressive person.(If you're wondering if the person you have in mind is actually passive-aggressive, I have a free checklist for you at PassiveAggressiveChecklist.com )These five things in today's episode are "tells." If someone does them more than once in a blue moon, you may be watching passive-aggression play out.Read my ebook, Stop! That's Crazy-Making! How to Quit Playing the Passive-Aggressive Game.Or, The Hijackal Trap: The Hidden Anger of Passive-Aggression . Both downloadable from Amazon.If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.Let's talk soon. I can help. Ready to talk? One-hour introductory session for only $97 BeAClient.comI hope this empowers you to make positive changes.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comI'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. .CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorWant to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 #passiveaggressive #passiveaggression #beingpassiveaggressive#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #systemicabuse #sexualabuse #physicalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor8 STRONG STEPS TO HANDLE BULLIES AT WORK...AND, AT HOME. You feel bullied. You see others being bullied. It's not right! Perhaps, you shy away. You sometimes take a day off to get away from the toxic environment.You are ready to stop this nonsense, and today, I'm going to give you some solid steps, some strong steps, to understand the bully, and know what is in your power to do about it.If this is a workplace bully, you may think that the bully should be management's problem. True, however, management may not be doing anything about it. After all, they don't have to work with this person every day, right? You do. So, you need to do something, too.Bullies may or may not be Hijackals®, those relentlessly difficult, toxic people I talk about here. It is possible that the bully is just a truly scared person who leads with their anger to avoid appearing weak. There are possibilities to consider.And, I've written a free ebook for you to find out. How To Spot A Hijackal. Get it HERE.A bully is afraid. It sounds strange, and it's true. A bully is afraid that s/he will not be taken seriously, noticed, or made important enough, so they take on the job themselves. They really back themselves into a corner while trying to corner you!In today's episode, I'm talking about what to do when you have to work with--or manage--a bully, person who goes out of his or her way to intimidate others. You cannot have that if you are in management. Productivity suffers and no one wants to come to work.You personally cannot let it just go, either. It will affect your health and well-being. You want to know the steps you can take to feel assertive and confident in the face of a bully. I know, that may not be where you want to step, but it's better than avoiding, cowering, or quitting, right?Notice what you are feeling when you hear those eight strong steps: Do I lose my self-esteem around the bully? Am I just giving it away? That's a possibility.Can I now see that I am letting the bully take away my right to be myself and stand strong?Do I need more skills to stand strong and avoid a clash of wills. Facts are facts. Stick to them.What do I need to do--what self-talk do I need--to do things more positively with the bully?What difference would it make if I listened to the bully to find something I could agree with?Am I willing to work on my issues, and shore up my skills to be happier every day with my willingness to be assertive?If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.Let's talk soon. I can help. Ready to talk with Dr. Shaler? One-hour introductory session for only $97 BeAClient.comI hope this empowers you to make positive changes.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comI'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorWant to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 #bulliesatwork #difficultpeopleatwork #workplaceconflict #mycoworkerisabully#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #systemicabuse #sexualabuse #physicalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor7 WARNING SIGNS AND WAKE-UP CALLS THAT YOUR PARTNER MAY BE MORE THAN SELFISH You excuse. You rationalize. You justify. And, repeat. You think that if you are more understanding, loving, compassionate, or giving then the demands will stop. Not if you're with a Hijackal®! That's why it's so important to know if that's the case.And, I've written a free ebook for you to find out. How To Spot A Hijackal. Get it HERE.Having someone in your life who demands to be the center of attention is exhausting. Even if you just give in and let them have the limelight, you cannot help but have some resentment brewing within, and that's exhausting.In today's episode, I'm talking about verbal signs. In fact, I've given you seven things that a MORE THAN SELFISH person will say often, or at least, seem to be saying--or behaving--all the time. And, you don't want to hear them. It makes you scream inside...if not outside, occasionally. And, that's taking a toll on you.Notice what you are feeling when you hear those seven things. Do these selfish attitudes pop up often in your relationship with this MORE THAN SELFISH person?If it was/is a parent, can you recognize how this diminished you over the years?If it is your partner, do you feel less than, neglected, and screaming "What about me?" in your head?Is it a friend who always brings the conversation back to what's up with them?Are you too used to living with the drama and now recognize a need for change?Do you drag my feel about changing your relationship because it all seems so difficult, distressing, and uncertain?If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE. Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule a free consultation HERE.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comGood tips for knowing what to do and how to respond.I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorWant to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 #partneristooselfish #selfishpartner #mypartnerisselfish #selfcenteredpartner#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #systemicabuse #sexualabuse #physicalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor4 SNEAKY SIGNS THAT MEAN LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP TROUBLESomething is wrong. It's off. It's sideways. You may not be able to put your finger on it, so let me help.You may be used to these things, and that's not a good thing! How did you get used to them? Maybe, a parent did them and you learned these ways so early on that, even though you hate it, you accept it.Time to change that. Once you really understand these four things, and TRULY ACCEPT that you cannot change them in the other person, then your life can improve by leaps and bounds. Yes, if you've been in the relationship for a long time, it might get nastier and messier for a while before it improves. Hijackals® don't like to be actually seen! They don't respond well to it.You know about Hijackals®, those relentlessly difficult, toxic, disturbing--and often dangerous--people we talk about here on Save Your Sanity. These four things are almost in their DNA: they will do them. They may do them actively and openly, or they may be covert and underhanded, but they'll do them.Once you see these four signs, and actually believe that you cannot change them, you'll begin to go and grow in a healthier direction. Sure, it may not be easy at first, but it will get so much better. I promise.Red flags? They are everywhere, but when you're wearing rose-colored glasses, those red flags are very hard to see. It takes real strength to whip those glasses off, once and for all. You'll see clearly, even though you may not like what you see. That's the beginning of coming into your own, to empowering yourself to stand strong.In today's episode, I'm sharing four big signs that, once you let yourself see them for what they are, you will not be able to unsee them...unless, of course, you slip into denial and allow yourself to keep on being demeaned, discounted and distressed. You won't do that, will you?Think about these four signs in today's podcast. How many are present within you, or within in your relationship with the others. How's that working for you? Whether that's your partner, ex, mother, father, friend, or co-worker, you want to understand what's really going on. And, when you're being hurt, you want to see clearly, stand up for yourself, and say "No more!"Notice what you are feeling. Ask yourself these questions after you listen:Am I letting these behaviors go unchecked in my relationship?Did a parent treat me this way, so demeaning behavior somehow feels "normal?"If someone always has to win and it isn't me, am I willing to allow this to carry on?Have I been in denial about this because I don't know what my next best steps are?Do I drag my feel about changing my relationship because it all seems so difficult, distressing, and uncertain?Start with yourself. If you need help with this, I'm here for you. I've done a few videos on my YouTube channel to help you learn more. Subscribe to it HERE.You can make it stop. Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule a free consultation HERE.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpI'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community.  Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 Good tips for knowing what to do and how to respond.CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorWant to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 #relationshiptrouble #signsofrelationshiptrouble #relationshipisgoingsouth #ismyrelationshipdying#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #systemicabuse #sexualabuse #physicalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor12 THINGS PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PEOPLE ALWAYS DO, BUT DON'T OFTEN REALIZE. You want to be seen, know, loved, and valued. Of course, you do. Yet, you may be afraid to really enter into relationships. One way people think protects them from intimacy is to adopt passive-aggressive behaviors.You push people away with passive-aggressive behaviors, right when you're longing for them to come closer. The good news is that you can change. And, if the passive-aggressive behaviors belong to someone else, you can learn how to recognize what's going on and make some changes. That's what today's podcast is all about.You know about Hijackals®, those relentlessly difficult, toxic, disturbing--and often dangerous--people we talk about here on Save Your Sanity. Well, all Hijackals are passive-aggressive, but not all passive-aggressive people are Hijackals. That's good news, because you might have been thinking otherwise.In today's episode, I'm sharing twelve things--twelve infuriating things--that passive-aggressive people do that can drive others crazy. And, unfortunately, can drive them away.I mentioned my free PassiveAggressiveChecklist.com site, where you can dive deeply into learning more about yourself or that person whose crazy-making behaviors are causing you to wonder if you want to be around them. Understanding what is passive-aggressive, and what is not is the best place to start. The Checklist is in-depth. In fact, it has two parts. When you complete the first and you recognize you need to know more, the checklist generates a second checklist for you to complete. It's a really effective learning tool. Think about these twelve things in today's podcast. How many are present within you, or within in your relationship with the others. How's that working for you? Whether that's your partner, ex, mother, father, friend, or co-worker, you want to understand what's really going on.Notice what you are feeling. Ask yourself these questions after you listen:Do I ever behave in any of these ways?How do I currently respond when others behave like this?Is it serving me? Is it serving them?Am I completely kind and honest in my communications?Do I tell the truth--again kindly and honestly--when asked for my opinion, or whether or not I'll do something?Do I drag my feet once I've agreed to do something? Does someone I care about?How can I release my own passive-aggressive tendencies?Start with yourself. Then, learn to manage passive-aggressive behaviors and relationships. I've done a few videos on my YouTube channel to help you learn more. Subscribe to it HERE. You can make it stop. Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule a free consultation HERE.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comI'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorWant to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 #passiveaggressive #passiveaggressivepeople #passiveaggressiveman #passiveaggression #totallyannoying#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #systemicabuse #sexualabuse #physicalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS® with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorThere is something wrong, something off, in your relationship. You can feel it, and you may not be quite able to put words to it, to describe it to yourself even. Yet, you know it's not right!Good start! Go with your gut!Hijackals®, those relentlessly difficult, toxic, disturbing--and often dangerous--people, have "tells." Those are the signs that you need to see as early as possible...even if that happens after you've been with them for ten years. Or, if you were born to them and only see it all now!In today's episode, I'll help you see how what you thought were the great traits of the person, are NOT what's real about them. Sad, right? You fell in love with Prince or Princess Charming, and now you've got the Prince or Princess of Darkness. So disappointing!If you're like most people whom Hijackals target, though, you'll do your very best to make excuses for their bad behavior, to rationalize and justify it. You'll dance as fast as you can to do the best you can, and yet, it will never be good enough. When you're with a Hijackal, everything--and I mean everything--will be your fault. Familiar?These twelve signs are explained in today's podcast. (There are more, and I'll save them for further discussion in other episodes.)See these twelve signs. Think about these twelve signs. How many are present in your relationship with the Hijackal, whether that's your partner, ex, mother, father, friend, co-worker?Notice what you are feeling. Ask yourself these questions after you listen: What makes me want to believe what they say?Why do I not trust my gut, my intuition?Do I ever really get a straight answer from the Hijackal?Am I always backing down or apologizing?Do I ever feel safe in my relationship with them?Am I always feeling discounted, blamed, or worse, degraded?Do they care what I think or how I feel?Why do I think it's my job to please them?These answers will lead you to a more healthy, balanced place now that you've heard the twelve signs in today's podcast.You can make it stop. Let's talk soon. I can help.Schedule a one-hour introductory call here for only $97 BeAClient.comI hope this empowers you to make positive changes.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help Doctor --------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. ----------------------------------------------------------------------Good tips for knowing what to do and how to respond.CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorWant to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 #amIinatoxicrelationship #beingmanipulated #amibeingmanipulated #isthisnarcissistic#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #systemicabuse #sexualabuse #physicalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS® with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorDon't you just hate it when you feel manipulated? That's what happens far too often when you have a Hijackal in your life. And, you hope for better, but nothing really seems to change.Today, I'm talking about six subtle signs to watch for, signs that you are being manipulated. They're tricky to spot because...well...you're not a Hijackal! You don't think that way. So, they are important to know about.People who MUST manipulate do it because that's the only way they know to survive. Unfortunately, you are expected to accept it, settle for it, and allow it.In today's episode, I hope you'll see that you have the right--and the responsibility--to step up and speak up. You know, though, that that often leads to arguments, threats, and, far too often--the silent treatment. So, do the work I'm talking about in this episode first, within yourself.See these six signs. Then, notice what you can do to make it stop. These are things for you to change within yourself, not creating change in the Hijackal. That doesn't often happen. So, do these things to SAVE YOUR SANITY!Stop wanting their approval.Stop being addicted to their drama.Stop living up to their expectationsStop letting your boundaries slip. I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.Talk soon.RhobertaWant to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor#manipulativepeople #manipulators #Hijackalrelationships #ruinyourselfesteem#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sometimes they are hard to see... they don't really look red, or they're not very big... But don't ignore them. This quick episode will identify major red flags you NEED to pay attention to.Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 \ I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorToday. I talk about what happens if you're raised by a toxic, difficult person. What are some of the things that you might look at within yourself and:the way your life is goingthe way your relationships are goingthe way you feel about yourselfthe way you expand or contract in the worldThat might have its basis in being raised by a difficult toxic parent somewhere deep down inside yourself.You know you're not quite fine. You might say you are, but you know you're not and maybe you can't even put your finger on how you know you're not. So I wanted to offer some things today that might help you understand that. Deep down in there, there are some beliefs. I'm going to talk about five of them that you might just examined and see if they're true for you.This can help you understand what a horrible gift your Hijackal parent gave you.I created the term, Hijackals, for those people who hijack relationships for their own purposes and then scavenge them for power, status and control. A lot of parents fall into that category, so these might be good for you to work through and replace because they're mistaken beliefs about yourself. They were about the Hijackal, not about you.Your brain grows until you're in your mid twenties, but by then, you're on a path and you may not even take time to examine what has happened to you. You think "It's just what I do," "It's just where I'm going and with whom," and you don't really recognize the impact of all that happened from the time your brain started developing, and that's huge.Particularly what happened to us in the first two, three years of life makes a huge difference!So think about these:What was going on in your house before you even had language?Who was there?Were they happy you were?Were they annoyed by your presence?You were there, a baby experiencing life by putting everything in your mouth, exploring everything you could touch and trying to make those giants whom you needed to keep you alive, interested and happy. You smiled and you laughed and you made encouraging noises, trying to attract them. That didn't work.So you cried and they responded, but how did your parents respond?Were they loving?Did they come in time?Were they happy?Were they warm?Were they concerned about you or did they give you a feeling that you were a nuisance?Did you feel like you should make yourself small, not take up space?These things make a big difference in how you feel about yourself as an adult, AND how you are able to create healthy relationships. So many beliefs you may have about yourself now, as an adult, that stem from how your Hijackal parent treated you in your early life, long before you had language. That really matters!I encourage you to spend time and reflect on this episode, and how it played out in your own life. If your parent is judgmental, critical, and competitive, it will ring true!And, I invite you to read my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal, at Hijackals.com and find out. If s/he is a HIjackal, you need more strategies and insights and they're there for you.If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comWant to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor#raisedbyanarcissist #toxicparents #Hijackalparent #toxicrelationships #selfesteemeroded #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for mor

When you considering divorcing a toxic person, or when you ARE divorcing a #Hijackal, and you have children, there are many considerations that might be important in other divorces.#Hijackals MUST win. They don't really want the children as much as they want to have control over whether or not you have them. And, of course, they want control over the children, too. People--you and the children, in particular--are what we call "supply" to Hijackals. You supply them with validation, attention, interest, and all other things each one needs to feel large and in charge.Whether you say you're leaving, or a Hijackal is discarding you, that #Hijackal still want to control the situation in every way possible.When you have children, there are very specific things that are different and MUST be considered.Aside from the co-parenting, there are other details its important to stay mindful and aware of when divorcing a Hijackal and you share children. Protecting your children's emotional and mental health needs to be top of the list in this process.Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 --------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. ----------------------------------------------------------------------Good tips for knowing what to do and how to respond.CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What You Need To Do For Your Kids When Co-Parenting With A Hijackal® Ex! A #Hijackal parent is not benign: s/he affects the way your children see themselves and think about themselves. The #Hijackal parent models behavior for children long before the child even has language. Your children have already seen too much, right?You've left, and removed yourself from the day-to-day influence of the Hijackal. Only problem with that is that your children have to go to the Hijackal's house and you have no idea what s/he is saying or doing to your kids!On top of that uncertainty, you have to uphold the condition that most divorces in the US contain: you promise to not speak badly of the other parent to the child. Most #Hijackals ignore that. Best if you don't, though.When the children tell you about what's going on at the other house, and how they feel about it, validate the children's feelings, and support them to view things in healthy ways.So much to learn about coparenting with a #narcissist or other kind of Hijackal, and today's episode will help.Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor#coparentingwithanarcissist #coparentingdifficulties #coparenting #coparentingwithahijackal#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You parted ways with a toxic partner, a #Hijackal, maybe a narcissist.And, now s/he has come back, promising to be different and professing undying love?Or, you were discarded by a toxic partner.And, now you're lonely and hurting, and thinking that maybe it was all that bad?You're thinking of apologizing for nothing you did wrong because you're trauma-bonded.You know the answer is a flat-out "NO!" but I know that's not always easy to pull off.Today's episode gives you some quick tips to keep your clarity and stick with your original decision and stay alone.Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 \ I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. Good tips for knowing what to do and how to respond.CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor#shouldItakehimback #shouldItakeherback #takinganarcissistback#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Passive-aggressive behavior will drive you slowly round the bend!Foot-dragging, procrastinating, truth-evading behaviors! Crazy-making!Passive-aggressive people are often fearful of telling their truth the first time out. They will tell you what you want to hear in the moment, and then, when they don't follow through, they try and blame you for it. Crazy-making!I've written a few books on #passive aggression and I invite you to have a look here on my Amazon page:https://www.amazon.com/s?k=%22rhoberta+shaler%22&crid=2XI4F84XB7QS3&qid=1577601563&sprefix=human+design%2Caps%2C504&ref=sr_pg_1Want help from Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor#passiveaggression #passiveaggressive #passiveaggressivebehavior #whatispassiveaggressive#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

#Hijackals, those relentlessly difficult, toxic people, want you to feel unsure of yourself. Keeping you on guard and off balance gives them a sense of power and control. I'm sure you don't want to give another person power and control over:who you arehow you arewhat you dowhat you thinkwhat you feelwhat you needwhat you wantand what you remember.Am I right? I'm sure I am. You're an adult and you deserve to be in a relationship that is equal, reciprocal, and mutual. Anything less than that is not healthy enough.Not only do #Hijackals make you second-guess yourself, they put you down, wear you down, and tear you down...until you say "No more!" Today's episode is a good start.Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trust often seems impossible, but trust is absolutely necessary for a relationship to be successful.It's important to be able to calibrate your level of trust within a relationship consciously.Today, I'm using a example of how trust became a major issue in a mediation within a corporate team. Imagine how that translates into a love relationship.All the denial in the world cannot cover up the effects of a lack of trust.Are you able to trust yourself?Are you able to trust your partner? Are you even willing to trust your partner? How do you learn to trust. Listen in.Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor#abilitytotrust #willingnesstotrust #knowingwhentotrust #livingindenial#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is conflict something to be avoided? Are you uncomfortable around conflict?How do you know when to confront? Will you confront a difficulty head-on?What about when someone's behavior is crazy-making, or someone's behavior is confusing? What about when you're with a toxic person, when you're with a #Hijackal? Today's answer is to a question about setting boundaries with a person who is always blaming? #Hijackals make everything your fault. #Hijackals see you as prey. You're not. Good tips for knowing what to do and how to respond. Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.com Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How do you learn to trust? How did you learn when you were young?Were you able to trust when young?Who did you trust? All the answers to those questions can be basic to how you trust others now. And, to your ability to trust yourself, too!If you've been with a difficult person, a toxic person, your ability to trust and your willingness to trust will need some attention. Today's BONUS episode is a start.Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor#trustyourself #trustothers #trustwhendating #howtotrust #whocanItrust#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's often a relief to be away from a toxic person, a #Hijackal. And, it's often totally terrifying to think of dating after you've left. In this BONUS session, I share some best next steps to consider when you're putting yourself back out in the dating world. It's important to know these things so that you can keep yourself safe while dating, to keep your heart safe while dating...especially after a toxic person. When you have been with a toxic person--or, were raised by one--you may know your "picker" is untrustworthy, or at least think it may be. You don't trust yourself to choose. You don't trust others are safe to be with, emotionally or any other way. Here's a few insights that can help you date after leaving a toxic person. Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 \CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.com Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor #datingafterleaving #datingafteratoxicperson #trustyourselftodate #trustothersaresafetodate #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ever feel that you are walking on eggshells, waiting for the other show to drop, or becoming hypervigilant? Those things happen when you're raised by, or around one of the relentlessly difficult, toxic people I call #Hijackals®! Listeners can submit questions for me at SUBMIT. I'll answer them in a BONUS episode of Save Your Sanity, or on a video on my channel at YouTube! You don't want to--nor should you have to--feel nervous or anxious around certain people. Learn to handle them, or learn to leave them. Only you will know which is best in each circumstance, in each relationship.I share my thoughts on this topic, and how to reduce anxiety and stress around difficult people today.Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor#walkingoneggshells #beinghypervigilant #anxiety #chronicanxiety#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest #toxicpeopleSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Propinquity? Are you familiar with that word? It means "the state of being close to someone or something." You can be in someone's orbit, or in their presence.You can be passing in the night or close.One things for sure you want, though, is that you and that person are safe to be around, right?Are you endearing or endangering? Is that other person pretending to be endearing but it really endangering?So important to know.You need to read people well, and today's episode will add some clues and cues for you.Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 --------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. ----------------------------------------------------------------------CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor#propinquity #endearingbehavior #endangeringbehavior #unsafetobearound #checkyourrelationship#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you recognize a bully at work? Do you make excuses for their behavior, justify it? How long have you been doing that? What can you do about it? Depending on your background and experience, you may or may not feel comfortable actually handling a bully at work. You may have learned to passively put up with one. Or, you may actually be afraid of them.You want to feel comfortable about being assertive with a bully at work, right?Today's episode gives you insights into exactly that.Becoming assertive with a bully at work may take confidence and strength, but it sure beats not wanting to go to work!Learn a few things about how to speak up and set boundaries with bullies at work.Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp#handlingbullies #handlingbulliesatwork #bulliesatwork #beassertivewithbullies #workplaceconflict#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 \ I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today's Save Your Sanity Podcast: Help for Handling Hijackals®from Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor Passive-aggressive behavior is frustrating, infuriating, and frankly...unfair!And, passive-aggressive behavior is sneaky! In fact, so sneaky that you're often caught up in thinking that it actually makes some sense...at first, or for a while. Then, it dawns on you: Something's not right with this but I can't quite put my finger on it.Passive-aggressive behavior is undermining. In the moment, and in the aftermath, your head spins. You wonder if you were the one who made a mistake. It's crazy-making!So, today, Dr. Shaler offers you five ways to watch for that passive-aggressive behavior shows up. You can then recognize it more easily.BUT, it's never very helpful to tell another person that their behavior is passive-aggressive. It's highly unlikely to get you anywhere good. Learn why.Listen to this short podcast and learn how to listen for passive-aggressive stuff coming at you, and well as from you. It can be tricky!Oh, Dr. Shaler has also written two books to give you even more insights, strategies, and skills:Stop! That's Crazy-Making! How to Quit Playing the Passive-Aggressive Game The Hijackal Trap: The Hidden Anger of Passive-AggressionAvailable at Amazon along with her other books.TAKE DR. SHALER'S FREE PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE CHECKLIST HERE! Find out what's up for sure.Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 \Good tips for knowing what to do and how to respond.CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorWant to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. #passiveaggressive #passiveaggression #annoyingpeople #toomuchprocrastination #toomuchforgetting#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #systemicabuse #sexualabuse #physicalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

ALIENATION is way too common when you have to deal with the whims, power, and control a relentlessly difficult, toxic person.In today's episode, the segment "It Happened to Me", my anonymous guest offers the story of how her adult son--a #Hijackal--caught her off-guard and proceeded to blame her in outrageous ways. This is too common with adult children with Hijackal behaviors. They want to rule the roost...and, every roost, if possible.My guest relates the joy of playing with her grandchildren, in full view of their father. Then, as #Hijackals like to do, he asserts himself in manipulative, deceitful, and surprising ways. He is alienating and threatening, as well as blaming and shunning.Listen in if you feel alienated from your adult children, and/or alienated from your grandchildren. Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 Good tips for knowing what to do and how to respond.I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorWant to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 #alienatedparent #discardedparent #cantseegrandkids #parentalalientation#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #systemicabuse #sexualabuse #physicalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Walking on eggshells comes to mind when you're concerned about always being blamed? Is that how it feels to you?Healthy relationships don't have you walking on eggshells! Being constantly blamed is red flag that you may be with a relentlessly difficult person, one of those people I call #Hijackals®,And, of course, you may not be with a #Hijackal. Your partner may have other issues s/he is dealing with, and it becomes a "we" issue.I'm giving you some insights into how to think about what's going on, and what to do about it when your partner is always blaming. Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Save Your Sanity Podcast: Help for Handling Hijackals®from Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor Is your relationship bringing you love, safety, trust, respect, and emotional intimacy? Or, has it become one that goes along all right as long as you both walk on eggshells? Is it somewhere in the middle?What's going on? It could be that one or both of you have been set up to settle for a "comfortably uncomfortable" relationship. You need to think about this. Settling is not the best descriptor for a satisfying relationship.Dr. Shaler gives you insights into why you may not yet be having the relationship you most want, together. And, gives steps you can take to move in a better direction.TAKE DR. SHALER'S FREE RELATIONSHIP CHECKLIST HERE. Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 --------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. ----------------------------------------------------------------------Good tips for knowing what to do and how to respond.CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorWant to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #systemicabuse #sexualabuse #physicalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today's Save Your Sanity Podcast: Help for Handling Hijackals®from Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor When you are in a difficult relationship, you can certainly have more ups and downs than are comfortable. Those roller coasters can take so much energy that you're exhausted.Dr. Shaler answers a reader's question about a roller coaster relationship. Good relationship advice.If you have a question that you would like her to answer on air for you, you are welcome to submit it using THIS LINK. Enjoy Dr. Shaler's YouTube channel: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 \ I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.