Recovery Elevator

Dan took his last drink 370 days ago. This is his story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your copy on Amazon here! On today's episode Paul talks about how this journey into a new life without alcohol can be fun. In fact, he says, it must be fun. If you're not having fun right now that is ok, you are not doing anything wrong. Recovering your true self, a life filled with inner joy and abundance, can only be done with love. You can't fight darkness with darkness. Here are some strategies to invite love into your life…stop comparing yourself to others, get off social media, tell yourself 'I love you', listen to your body, put on headphones and dance. SHOW NOTES [9:30] Paul introduces Dan. Dan celebrated 1 year of sobriety on July 28, 2019. He is 37 years old and lives in Cottage Grove, MN. He is a teacher and teaches middle school math. He has 5-year-old twins, a boy and a girl, and a 10-year-old daughter. Dan is married and they just celebrated 13 years. For fun Dan likes to exercise and hike. [16:20] Give us a background on your drinking. Dan had his first drink in high school and bartended through college. He says his drinking just carried over into what he calls 'his adult life' and it just stuck with him. He wasn't a binge drinker; it was more of cracking a couple beers open every night after work. Dan started to become depressed, getting anxious if he couldn't drink his beers each night. He says he had some suicidal thoughts. [20:45] What did that depression feel like? Dan got to the point where he was finding no joy in anything, including alcohol, his job or his family. He confided in a friend about his depression and that was the start of his journey into sobriety. When he confided in his wife, he felt that he was surrendering and ready to get help. [24:00] When did you tell your wife and what happened after that? Dan says he made the commitment to stop drinking last summer and told his wife after about a week in. Dan says his wife overheard him listening to the Recovery Elevator podcast and that was the beginning of their conversation about his drinking and depression. [26:35] Talk to us about the 1st week, the 1st month. Dan made a doctor's appointment a couple weeks in to talk about his depression and was prescribed anti-depressants/antianxiety medication. He was worried about how he would feel once taking the medication but says it has really helped him. Dan listened to the RE podcasts daily and would reach out to his wife when he was struggling at all. He also told his oldest daughter that he was quitting drinking alcohol. [35:30] With a year away from the alcohol how has the depression been? Dan says it has gotten better. He is going to sit down with his doctor and discuss if he should come off the meds, he says he was scared to go on them in the beginning and is now a little worried about coming off them. [37:25] What's on your bucket list now with a year of sobriety? Next summer he's going to finish up the Superior Hiking Trail and possibly do a ½ marathon. [38:44] You haven't mentioned AA or 12-step, did you not go to AA during this last year? Dan says he never put it out of his mind or took it off the table, and that he even looked up when and where meetings were; but that he never went to a meeting. [40:40] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've found on this journey? My lightbulb moment was that I needed to fail a few times before I was actually able to be successful with it. What is a gift that sobriety has given you? The biggest gift is time. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink? Well my beer fridge has now became a sparkling water fridge. What are some of your favorite resources in recovery? I definitely have to say Recovery Elevator, plus my friends and my family. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? It would have to be that there is so much freedom once you have given up alcohol. You might have a drinking problem if... You have a fight with your girlfriend, decide to move out, and realize that you have only packed a camera and a swimsuit. Upcoming retreats: Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020 You can find more information about this event here Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside out."

Brandi took her last drink on July 17, 2019. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book was released 2 days ago! Pick up your copy on Amazon here! On today's episode Paul talks about one of his pet peeves…the word "ONLY". For example, when someone says they have 'only' been sober for 3 days, 10 days, 2 weeks, etc.… We need to change this way of thinking, any amount of time away from alcohol is a major win. The word 'only' equals limited, represents a lack of, and we want to be careful with this idea and energetic vibrations that encompass the word. SHOW NOTES [9:30] Paul introduces Brandi. Brandi is from Franklin, TN. She is 48 years old and works in healthcare. She has a 12-year-old daughter and for fun Brandi likes to make her own greeting cards, write poetry, and ride horses. [14:50] Give us a background on your drinking. Brandi says she drank some in high school and college, but that she didn't really enjoy it. She says it wasn't until she was 33-34 years old that she started to see alcohol as a problem. In 2012 she started to notice how alcohol was impacting her life, her physical wellbeing, her job, and the people around her. 2 years ago, she was drinking about 2 bottles of wine a night, every day. [23:00] Where do you think your self-loathing came from? Brandi says it came from a lot of things; missed moments with her daughter; lost time; missed conversations. [33:30] Tell us how the last 2 weeks have been? Brandi says they have been good. She felt a little of the pink cloud. She's been trying to do things differently, like getting up earlier. She started a morning routine that includes her affirmation books. [39:00] What's your plan moving forward? Brandi says she is going to be better at reaching out to people. She plans on getting back to some meetings that she has gone to in the past. Getting back to her morning routine. She wants to slowly get back to the things she enjoys doing for fun. Brandi says a big one for her is stepping outside her comfort zone. [40:40] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've found on this journey? How many times have I thrown wine glasses away. What is a memorable moment that sobriety has given you? Sitting with my daughter, watching Disney movies, just being goofy and she put on Elton John and we just started dancing. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink? Unfortunately, it's Diet Dr. Pepper, but lemonade takes a close 2nd. What are some of your favorite resources in recovery? My friends that know me, my affirmation books. What's on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life? I used to travel; I want to go find a really cool place to take my daughter. I want to do the things I used to do with her and start making memories. Also, to get back into making my cards again and moving forward with dreams I had at making that part of my lifestyle. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Even if it's hard to step out, to reach out, it doesn't have to be huge, just that one little thing that will change your path. You might have a drinking problem if... Before you buy that next bottle of wine you have to figure out where you are in your rounds through your wine stores so you don't hit one too soon. Upcoming retreats: Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020 You can find more information about this event here Resources mentioned in this episode: Honey This episode is brought to you by the smart shopping assistant Honey. Get Honey for free at www.joinhoney.com/elevator . Honey, the smart shopping assistant that saves you time and money when you're shopping online Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – Alcohol is shit…and we both know it."

Aisha took her last drink on July 28, 2017. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book comes out in 5 days! This is also Paul's 5-year alcohol free date! Pick up your copy on Amazon September 7, 2019! On today's episode Paul talks about celebrities that have ditched the booze and why this group of the population is affected by addiction way more than the average population. SHOW NOTES [9:30] Paul introduces Aisha. Aisha is 42 years old and lives in Atlanta, GA. She is a lawyer, married and has a 10-year-old. Aisha enjoys reading recovery/addiction memoirs along with fiction. [14:50] Give us a background on your drinking. Aisha says that a big part of why she drank was that she was trying to fit in. Both of Aisha's parents were alcoholics. She is African-American and Hispanic and was raised in rural America where she didn't see a lot of people that looked like her. Aisha didn't really start drinking until she started law school and she started drinking alcoholically after she started practicing law. There were a few months when she had the FBI watching her house because of a threat she had received, during those months she was so scared that she was drinking every day. Because of her experience with alcoholics in her family she knew where her drinking was going, and she knew she needed to quit. [22:34] Did you have a rock bottom moment? Aisha says her bottom was when she "missed the toilet", literally. She knew she needed help then, but didn't stop drinking at that time. She did however go to an AA meeting. [26:15] Tell us more about your AA experience. Aisha says when she went to AA, she was legitimately looking for help. After listening to the speaker share, she felt like she could not relate. She didn't let that stop her from going back, but after some condescending comments at another AA meeting she went back to drinking. [28:15] What do you think finally pushed you over the edge to start logging in the time? Aisha didn't let the bad experiences she had had at AA stop her from trying other meetings. She went to a lot of meetings and finally found one that she felt loved and welcomed at. [40:55] How has the wanting to fit in changed since getting sober? Aisha says she is much more purposeful. She is much more focused on the whys of doing things. She is also much more open to feed back from others. [46:30] In the last 2 years have you had a difficult moment where you thought you were going to drink and how'd you get through it? Aisha says she has not, and she know she is very fortunate. She says that the smell of alcohol disgusts her now. She has, however, had moments of fomo and has wished she could drink with friends at times. [51:20] Rapid Fire Round What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you? Going on vacation with her family and her daughter and waking up early with her and remembering everything. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink? Mango Bubly What are some of your favorite resources in recovery? The stories in the back of the AA Big Book; A Girl Walks Out of a Bar; and people…I really enjoy the Café RE Facebook group. What's on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life? I have a lot of changes that I am in the process of making in my life personally, I don't want to put them out on the podcast. But I think that in the next year there are some things in my life that are going to look very different. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? This is truly life and death, but it is also one day, one moment, one second at a time. You might have a drinking problem if... You're dropping a deuce, and you think you're on the toilet, and when you get up, you're not even close to the toilet. Upcoming retreats: Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020 You can find more information about this event here Resources mentioned in this episode: ZipRecruiter This episode is brought to you in support by ZipRecruiter. Right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free. Visit Ziprecruiter.com/elevator Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – Alcohol is shit…and we both know it."

Sarah took her last drink on June 13, 2019. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! Pick up your copy on Amazon September 7, 2019! On today's episode Paul talks about how there is always a 'plan B'. Plan A…aka the way we want life to work out, the way we hoped things were going to work, actually work out 0% of the time. Everyone has these hiccups. The fact that you are listening to this podcast means you are already into plan B. Most people that have a goal to move into an alcohol-free life have a plan A, which looks something like this…quit drinking and never look back. It doesn't matter how many plans you have because we now have hundreds of plans to chose from. You don't have to go out looking for your plan, schedule some down time and let the plan come to you. SHOW NOTES [8:33] Paul introduces Sarah. Sarah is 44 years old and is from Vancouver, WA. She is engaged to be married and has no kids. Sarah is a chiropractor. For fun Sarah loves anything that has to do with health, she loves to exercise and go on long walks with her fiancé. [10:00] Give us a background on your drinking. Sarah had her first drink when she was 12 years old. She didn't drink heavily from that point on but her drinking really escalated when she started working in the restaurant business while attending the University of Texas. She was 22 years old at this time. At the age of 17 Sarah got a DWUI. From the age of 22 her drinking got worse. When she was 30 years old, she found herself calling in sick to work because she was hungover. [12:00] So you decided to have a change of location and profession? Sarah says it was one of the best decisions she made, but that looking back it was her thinking that she needed to get out of her current environment. She started chiropractic school and took her drinking right along with her. Her drinking continued to escalate and she ended up missing a really significant clinical entrance exam. She drank too much the night before and slept through it. She wasn't allowed to take a makeup exam and had to wait to take the exam. This is when she first tried AA. [13:15] What were your initial thoughts about AA? Initially it was awesome. Sarah still has some really great feelings about AA. She says she'll never forget when she walked into her very first meeting and a man telling her she never had to drink again. Sarah says that was a lightbulb moment for her. [14:00] Bring us up to speed from 32 years old to 44. Sarah had on and off sobriety attempts during that time, ranging from 6 months to 2 years. And she says that, of course, her life always got better. She was questioning if she was an alcoholic because she could stop at a couple drinks, sometimes. But she realized that her drinking always had consequences. She decided, along with her fiancé, to quit drinking. [16:40] What do you think you started back up after your 6 mo., 9 mo., 2 years? Sarah felt like she would hit a wall, that she couldn't label herself a full-blown alcoholic so she would find herself going back out. She would always end up back at the same place, lack of motivation, sick, tired, depressed, and a chaotic life. [18:40] What effect has not drinking had? By day 3 Sarah noticed she was sleeping better. She enjoys her work and being with patients. She has her motivation back. She isn't waking up with guilt and shame anymore. [22:00] What are some of the obstacles that you have overcome in the last 41 days? Sarah says that around day 13 and a couple weeks ago she was hitting a wall emotionally. [25:17] How has it been to have a fiancé as an accountability partner? Sarah says it's been really amazing. She had to tell him a number of times that drinking was a problem for her, and when things got really bad, he finally got it. He was willing to go on the journey with her. It wasn't just 'her' drinking, it was 'their' drinking. [28:00] What have been the challenges to do this with a significant other? Sarah says the first challenge was that she wanted to make sure he wasn't stopping to drink just for her. She says she needs the support but that she didn't want to feel responsible for that decision. The challenge was making sure that they both had their own 'whys'. [29:00] What is something you didn't think you'd have to work on? Sarah thought that the problem her and her fiancé had with communicating would go away and she learned that they still needed to work on those skills. [29:40] Have you explored why you drank? Sarah says she drank because she wanted to feel included and connected to other people. She says she also drank because it got her attention. [30:30] What is something memorable that you have been able to do in a life without alcohol? She has noticed that she is way more invested in her life and in her chiropractor practice. She cares about her patients. [32:20] What's your plan moving forward? To continue on this journey. Sarah also says her love for reading has returned. [33:30] Rapid Fire Round What is a lightbu

Joy took her last drink on July 12, 2014. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! Launch date, September 7, 2019, is less than a month away! On today's episode Paul talks about the phrase 'spontaneous sobriety'. What is it? What does it mean? Spontaneous sobriety means quitting drinking without any formal treatment such as rehab, inpatient treatment, or out-patient treatment. 12-step programs are not formal treatment due to the fact you can go when you want, work with, or without, a sponsor, and there is not a formal way to work the steps. The majority of people get sober without formal help. According to the NESARC about 50% of all people that recovered from alcohol dependence did so completely on their own. So how does one spontaneously ditch the booze? The listen to their body, read books, listen to podcasts, attend 12-step meetings, read blogs, talk to their therapist, join online recovery groups (like CaféRE), etc.… You talk about it; you burn the ships. SHOW NOTES [10:40] Paul introduces Joy. Joy was born and raised in the suburbs of southeast Michigan and she moved to Connecticut about 15 years ago. She is 42 years old, has been married for almost 15 years, and has 2 sons. For work Joy is a holistic nurse practitioner, sober and grey area drinking coach, and a dance teacher. She enjoys dancing, yoga, being outside, and reading. [17:40] Give us a background on your drinking. Joy started drinking pretty regularly in her teenage years. There was drinking in her household so it felt like the natural thing to do. During high school there were binging and blackout moments. Before college she had a rock-climbing accident, where alcohol was involved, which resulted in her having to change her direction in college from dance to healthcare. She continued to drink heavily in college and got a DUI when she was 20. [18:35] Whne you got that DUI was there a concern? Joy says it was a terrifying experience. She had to spend the night in jail, in a very big correctional facility. After the DUI Joy felt like she could still continue to drink, she just needed to be smarter about it, like not drive. In her 30s it became more apparent that her drinking was a problem. There was more morning after conversations with her husband. She tried moderating, only drinking on the weekends, but was unsuccessful. [19:50] You mentioned that your husband commented that your drinking doesn't make sense, can you explain that? She says here she was, done with graduate school to be a nurse practitioner, she was a yoga teacher and really holistically health minded, but at the same time drinking heavily. She also would smoke cigarettes when she drank. It was like the two Joys didn't compute. There was the highly functioning Joy going to her job at the hospital and teaching yoga classes, and then there was the Joy that was drinking everyday and smoking. [22:15] Bring us up to speed, did the other shoe drop? Joy says it did. She was 30 pounds heavier; her health was not doing well; her depression was not being treated. But Joy says it was really when she was home with her two young children and one of them asked her to hand him his toy. She asked him what one and he said, "It's the one behind your wine glass.". This rocked Joy's world. It was one thing for her to be home drinking wine while taking care of her young children, it was something else that one of them knew it. [24:35] What did you do after that? Joy says she did what everyone thinks they have to do; she went to AA. She was 37 years old. She says she had issue with when you go to AA you have to stand up and introduce yourself and proclaim that you're an alcoholic. At this time Joy wasn't sure she was an alcoholic, but she knew she had to do something and AA was all she could think of. Standing up and admitting that she was an alcoholic in front of a group of strangers was cathartic for Joy. It allowed her to take the next step forward which was addressing what she was going to do next. [27:00] What happened after that? Joy went to AA for a little while, got a sponsor that was really helped her get through the first few weeks of being AF. But Joy wasn't drawn to AA, she didn't find the positivity, or forward movement, she was hoping to find. So, Joy turned to the internet and started looking for other recovery avenues that were geared towards women. She found Woman for Sobriety, which is a different self-help program. There weren't any meetings local to Joy so she started participating in online chat meetings. After she had a year of sobriety she applied and became a moderator of meetings for them in her town. [30:30] What was it like going through the first couple social events alcohol free? Joy learned that she definitely had some social anxiety, it was stressful, and she felt awkward. She says she took a lot of things off of her social calendar. She instead filled her time with other things, and instead of focusing on what she was not doing anymore she was focusing

Tiffany took her last drink on July 14, 2018. This is her story. On today's episode Paul talks about the DUIs he didn't get. For those of you that may not know what a DUI is…it is Driving Under the Influence, with a BAC that is higher than .08. Those missed DUIs, going all the way back to one in 2006, in which he was following behind a friend that was drunk behind the wheel, rolled his vehicle and passed away with a BAC of .33…were a contributing factor in Paul telling himself he didn't have a drinking problem. He told himself he didn't have a drinking problem because he didn't have any DUIs. Paul has said, 'the only line you can cross, but cannot come back from, is death'. He hopes that Adrian's story can help save the life of someone listening to this podcast. SHOW NOTES [16:05] Paul introduces Tiffany. Tiffany is originally from Connecticut but has been in Maryland for the last 10 years. She is a property manager and a licensed captain. She is 35 years old, single and has no kids. She enjoys hiking and recently has discovered she likes to macramé, and has been doing a lot of that. DIY crafts and projects around her house bring her joy. [18:15] Give us a background on your drinking. Tiffany started dinking when she was in 7th grade. Drinking was the not the norm for her family or in her household growing up. It wasn't until she was in junior high and spending more time at friends' houses that she was exposed to drinking being the norm. Jr. high and high school was a lot of binge drinking on weekends. Towards the end of high school Tiffany was more interested in being at work, she was working at a horse farm, and partying with her friends than being at school. Work and partying became her priority and school was at the bottom of the totem pole. She says she was a big pothead and felt that she could take, or leave, alcohol. [20:50] When did you reach the moment when you couldn't take it, or leave it? In 2006, when Tiffany was 21, she left everything behind and moved to New Zealand to work on a schooner. She says that is when the switch happened. Wine was everywhere. She started to think of drinking as a reward for having a hard day, rather than just something she would binge on. [22:45] Talk to us about the years between 21 and 34. While on the schooner they went through a bad hurricane during a voyage. Tiffany says it was terrifying, and it was at that time her drinking shifted from drinking as a reward for a hard day, to drinking to get out of her head. She says she came home from that experience different, and that it is still something she is working through. It was at this time she was drinking to not feel her feelings, and she started to isolate rather than drink socially. In 2007 she moved to Baltimore and moved in to a neighborhood that was filled with bars, making it easy for her to drink and not be questioned. [26:00] Get us up to speed closer to your sobriety date. Between 2009-2012 not a lot really happened. Tiffany says her drinking stayed about the same, she was still isolating amongst her group of drinking friends. In 2014 she got into a relationship, that didn't work out, but it was the first time she had ever heard someone refer to her as an alcoholic. [26:45] What was it like hearing that? Up until that time she says she had had a lot of nights that she regretted but that this was the first time she felt embarrassed. This prompted Tiffany to lean into her isolation and she let all the self-negative talk that she had for herself beat her down. In 2017 she was so depressed and isolating that she was afraid to leave her house unless it was for work. Because she couldn't control her drinking, she felt like she was failing in everything other than work. [28:44] You said you knew you didn't want to drink, but that all you knew was a life with drinking…talk to us about how that felt. It was insanity. A snapshot of what felt like a normal day for Tiffany involved her waking up with a hangover, feeling like hell, getting herself together for work and then crying the whole way to work because she did not want to go home, because she did not want to drink again that night. Her anxiety was crippling and things just didn't get any better. She lived like that for 3 years. [30:20] What tipped the scales? November 2017 Tiffany says she was at her bottom and she came across the Recovery Elevator podcast. She hit play and binge listened to the episodes for a solid 2 weeks. [33:55] What happened between November 2017 and July 2018? Tiffany signed up for the RE Facebook group in June 2018 and made it 30 days AF. On day 31 she walked into a store, thinking, "I got this", and bought 5 bottles of wine and drank for 5 days. She then decided she was done, drank all the alcohol in her house, and on July 14th 2018 had her last drink. [44:00] So you got sober outside of AA? Tiffany says that 12 step meetings are not for her, at least not right now. She finds her peace and healing when she is outside of the rooms. Kno

Daz took his last drink on November 5, 2018. This is his story. This coming January Recovery Elevator is going to Thailand and Cambodia for 12 days. Space is limited. You can find more information about this event here On today's episode Paul discuses the double negative, not failing. If you find yourself struggling to say no, to picking up a drink, you are not failing. If you are not failing you are succeeding, accomplishing, flourishing, overcoming, conquering, thriving, winning, realizing your goal to become alcohol free. Think about an accomplishment in your life that you are proud of. Did that come without a struggle? Most likely it did. That struggle did not represent failure. Growth is a big part of that struggle. SHOW NOTES [10:30] Paul introduces Daz. Daz is 43 years old, has been married for 5 years, and has 2 beautiful little girls. He is from Vancouver Island and has lived in Vancouver for the last 17 years. For fun Daz plays guitar, writes and records a lot of music, and his latest addiction is knowledge in recovery. [13:31] Give us a background on your drinking. When Daz was 13 he had his first drink, and first drunk. At the age of 15 he was introduced to smoking pot which very quickly became a daily thing. An honor roll student until his senior year of high school, when other drugs were introduced, and things really started to nosedive. Daz didn't start drinking regularly until he was 19. It then quickly became a daily thing, helping him come out of his shell and be more social. It became a staple that stuck with him through his 20s. Daz hit his rock bottom on April 20, 2005. He had gone through a really dysfunctional relationship and his life had completely veered off the path that he had expected. He was ready to throw in the towel on life. Daz called his parents at 2AM and told them he didn't know what to do, that he thought he wanted to just go and finish it off. His parents got him to come home and that was his first attempt to get sober. It lasted a couple weeks, through the Christmas holidays, and he attended his first AA meetings while there. When he got back to Vancouver things went back to the way they had been for about another year. He was struggling to get by, working in bars and drinking on the job. Found himself in legal trouble and soon couldn't pay his rent. Daz says he was one step away from living on the street. [19:00] That was early 2007, bridge the gap for us. Daz entered a 2-month treatment center and says that was the beginning of him starting to stand up and dust himself off. It gave him time to think about what he was going to do with his life. He worked in the fitness industry for a couple years. He started to slide back into drinking but had enough of a foundation at this time, and had left some of the other drugs behind, that things were starting to get on the right path. He moved from the fitness industry into the software business and started performing music in the evenings. This gave him something to be excited about and even though he was still drinking he now felt he had a purpose. Daz met his wife 7 years ago, 1.5 years later they had their first baby, and 2-3 years ago he went to the doctor and was told he had a fatty liver. [21:55] What happened next? He now has his 2nd baby and a fatty liver. His doctor told him if he didn't stop drinking, he would be dead in 10 years. That was the motivation Daz needed. He had gone through the 12 steps of AA while in the treatment center but just never felt like that was for him. What he found was something called, Neuro Recover, which is an IV treatment where the person is hooked up to an IV for 8 hours a day, for 10 days. He says he soon realized that being sober is not just about not drinking, it's about rebuilding your body. After a few months Daz went back 'out'. When he was ready to try again, he came with more of a plan and was going to include community. He did the IV treatment for 3 days. On day 5 he was having back and leg pain, anxiety, and feeling frustrated. Daz says he was almost ready to go get alcohol. Instead of going to the store for alcohol he recalled reading that L-glutamine can help with alcohol cravings. Having some in his cupboard he drank some and says that instantly the craving was gone. Daz started attending SMART Recovery soon after. [32:32] What are your qualms about AA? Daz says his biggest qualm is the powerless aspect. He feels to overcome addiction you need to be empowered. [39:16] What would you say to someone looking to get sober, that has tried AA, and is looking for something else? Daz would suggest the SMART Recovery community, RE Café' Facebook groups, L-glutamine. He would tell them to stay connected with people, and that diet is important. [44:14] What are your thoughts on relapse? Daz says he doesn't think relapse is a bad thing, that it is just part of the process. He says people shouldn't be too negative about it as long as you are continuing on and learning to understand your

Arlina took her last drink on April 22, 1994 and has been alcohol free for 25 years. This is her story. On today's episode Paul discuses an article that a listener sent him regarding the term, 'sober curious'. This article was published in the New York Times and can be found here. What is sober curious? The term is pretty straight forward, it refers to those that are curious about exploring a life without alcohol. But it can be unpacked even more. To some, sober curious may mean that they never had a drinking problem, but they had a problem drinking. In the article the author describes the sober curious as young professionals that are kind of, just a little bit, addicted to booze. Paul feels that that bulk of this demographic of sober curious people are what would be referred to as high bottom drunks. They are beginning to experience consequences from their drinking and they are becoming curious to what a life without alcohol would look like. SHOW NOTES [9:30] Paul introduces Arlina. Arlina is 50 years old and had her last drink on her 25th birthday. She grew up in Silicon Valley. She is married and has 2 sons. Arlina has a podcast, enjoys yoga, hiking and going for walks. She is soon to be the owner of a bulldog puppy. [15:05] Give us a background on your drinking. Arlina says she feels her drinking was garden variety. She started drinking at a young age, between 8-10 years old, and says she didn't realize how bad she felt until she felt good from drinking. She says from her first drink to her last she wanted to be anybody but herself. [19:00] Was there a rock bottom moment that led up to you having your last drink on your 25th birthday? Arlina says she had a series of rock-bottom moments. She never knew what emotion to expect when she would drink, she would either be crying or fighting. Even after a night out with her sister, in which Arlina got drunk, punched her windshield a couple times, breaking it, kicked her sister (who was driving) in the face, her sister getting help from the neighbors, the police being called, and waking up with that incomprehensible demoralization, it took hearing that her sister had gone to Al-anon for her to connect her drinking with alcoholism. Arlina wrestled with that thought for 2 years. [23:20] Talk to us about when you finally reached that conclusion. Arlina says it was a very humbling experience because she had defined alcoholism as something so negative. Hating who she was anyway and then adding alcoholic and drug addict to it was overwhelming. What had been her solution had become her executioner. [25:55] What was it like in early sobriety? Arlina says it was overwhelming, but that she was relieved of the obsession to consume alcohol the day after her birthday. She discovered she was kind of high maintenance. She needed a morning routine, turning her life and her will over to God, and had to nurture a conscious contact with God throughout the day. She attended a lot of meetings a week and service played a large part. [31:22] Let's talk about the why behind your drinking. Do you agree that alcohol is but a symptom? Arlina agrees 100% that alcohol is but a symptom. She says she las learned that the brain will try and protect you from your pain, and if you can't get out of it, it will develop a distraction, and that could be alcoholism or any other addiction. Time does not heal all wounds; pain waits and lessons are repeated until they are learned. [37:27] Earlier you talked about chasing a feeling, how do you chase that feeling without alcohol. Arlina says the feeling that she was chasing was relief. She likes to feel happiness and joy and she finds that in the service work she does. When she can do something to alleviate someone else's suffering she feels like she is fulfilling her purpose and that is when she feels the most joy. [42:00] Talk to us about your podcast, The ODAAT Chat. **Arlina also has a website by the same name and you can find it here. Arlina originally started a sales podcast, but says it was really on her heart to do one on recovery. She was conflicted because in the 12 traditions it says to maintain our anonymity at the level of press, radio and film. Following the tragic death of a friend, who had attended a 6 AM meeting called ODAAT, she decided to be bold and follow her heart. The podcast has added some pressure but also has brought joy to Arlina. [46:40] Rapid Fire Round Worst memory from drinking? Puking my guts out at a San Francisco Giants game in front of a whole bunch of fancy people. Year 26, how's it going to happen? It's going to happen one day at a time. This morning I went for a walk and broke out an amazing book called Jesus Calling and read that. I drew my Gabby Bernstein card and I use the Headspace app to do some meditation and I find if I do that routine in the morning my day goes so much better. In regards to sobriety what is the best advice you have ever received? Follow your heart. What parting piece of advice can you give to

Odette, took her last drink on December 17, 2018. This is her story. On today's episode Paul talks about control and how it relates to the level of an addiction. The more our drinking gets out of control the more we try and control our external environments. This is the main driver why control is such an important concept to deepen with so we can become aware of the level of control we placing on the external environment. We are left with 2 choices. Option 1 is to do nothing, and that is not what this podcast is about. That leaves us with option 2. Get ready to saddle up. Once an addiction is been acknowledged it can no longer be ignored, and it cannot be addressed without making major life changes. Changes like a new self-image, your perception, a new consciousness, your ideas and beliefs, your entire life's foundations. That's a lot of change, and as humans we resist change. SHOW NOTES [8:10] Paul introduces Odette. Paul first chatted with Odette on episode 128, which came out on July 31st 2017, when she had 1 week of sobriety, he encourages you to go back and listen to that episode. Today, Odette hit a big milestone…she has 6 months of sobriety. Odette is originally from Guadalajara, Mexico, but has been living in San Diego for almost 10 years. She is married and a mom to 2 toddlers, Max and Sienna. She works fulltime at WeWork. Odette loves bowling for fun, says it's probably her favorite thing, and she will fight anyone who says that it's not a sport. She also loves to try new teas and lately you will find her doing puzzles. [11:50] Give us a background on your drinking. Odette says she's been in the recovery world for a decade. Her dad is a recovering alcoholic and he's about to hit his 10 year, so she was first exposed to recovery through him. She likes to say that his addiction has become the biggest gift, not just to herself, but to her entire family. Odette also developed an eating disorder, which she says is her first addiction, if it has to be labeled. Odette says that although she's been in the recovery world for a while, in terms of drinking, she thinks she falls into the 'gray area drinker' category. She doesn't have a catastrophic story to tell in terms of her relationship with alcohol. Because of this it's been a real journey for Odette to figure out if she really belonged here or if she didn't belong here, if she really had a problem with drinking. What really changed things for Odette was something that she keeps telling people. You don't have to have a serious drinking problem to have a problem with drinking, and she definitely knew that she had a problem with drinking. [16:05] In regards to alcohol and your eating disorder, what is your thoughts on addiction whack-a-mole? Odette thinks addiction whack-a-mole is a thing and that it is really important that we become ambassadors of being graceful to ourselves. The addictions become more manageable now, not because it's easier, but because there's this sense of awareness. Odette says she still sometimes eats when she's not hungry, and that things that are part of her eating disorder chapter still come up, but she is aware of it now. She realizes that she just didn't want to feel the feelings, so she ate. [21:43] Talk to us about the time between when you were first on the podcast until now? Odette struggled a lot, because, she says she is a binary person, and is like a lot of others in recovery who are in that gray area. And not just with drinking but the gray area of life. She loves fitting in boxes and labeling herself, and that is something that she really been trying to detach from these last 6 months. She stopped questioning where she belonged and if she belonged and started asking herself different questions, like how she was feeling when she drank or if she was trying to cope with something. She had to get a little creative with her questions because she was getting the same results when asking the same old questions. [26:55] Talk to us about the unknown and how you leaned into it. The unknown is very scary for Odette. She knew, as she was stacking days this third time around, that fear was going to creep up on her. So she grounded herself with people who have really good messages around fear because she didn't expect that fear to go away. She learned to develop a different relationship with her fear. [34:33] Let's talk about the concept of internal vs. external, where do you feel you are? Odette feels like it's shifting, and that she is discovering a lot of things. She also believes a lot of it is linked to her eating disorder because she did not have a connection with her body was feeling at all. Odette has been focusing on the internal and the physical. [36:40] Share with us how fun it is to meet up at our retreats, like our one coming up in Bozeman next month. Odette says she stopped calling them retreats and has started calling them "sober camp", because they are just that much fun. Bozeman will be Odette's 3rd retreat and says

Mark, took his last drink on April 19th, 2019 - This is his story. On today's episode Paul shares the status on his upcoming book release! Alcohol is Sh!t should be launched the end of July – to mid-August. Graphics for the front cover, the back, and the eBook are done. Thanks to everyone that voted on the tagline and subtitles…this is what we came up with; How to ditch the booze. Reignite your life. Recover the person you were always meant to be. Paul also talks about calming the mind through meditation. The word meditation comes from the word meditacioun, which means to ponder, and it has been around for a very long time. What is meditation? Meditation is about letting thoughts go. It is about loosening the energetic ties to the past and the future. It is about being present and focusing on what is, the reality you are currently witnessing. Meditation is about lowering brain waves to a more relaxed state. Meditation is a skill and it takes practice. What meditation is not. Meditation isn't not thinking. It isn't about obtaining or getting anything, or discovering who you are. It is not going into a trance. Meditation isn't selfish, it all starts from the inside out. 😉 SHOW NOTES [15:50] Paul introduces Mark. Mark lives in Perth, Australia, which is one of the most remote cities in the world. For work he is a financial professional. He is 43 years old, married with 2 daughters. For fun Mark likes to camp, exercise and read. [18:45] Give us a background on your drinking. Mark started drinking in his teens and he says he pretty much to a liking to it right away. It made him feel like a different person and got him out of his shell. In his early 20s he went to college and continued drinking there. There was about 3-4 years during his 20s that he got really serious about running and would quit drinking for 49 weeks a year while he was training. Mark says that once he stopped taking his running so serious, stopped the training, and got a job that there was a turning point and his drinking started to creep up to just about every day. Mark was in his 30s now. In 2017, at the age of 41, Mark had his real first attempt at sobriety. [20:50] Was there a rock bottom moment in 2017 that propelled your attempt at sobriety? There wasn't a rock bottom moment for Mark, he says it was more like a series of bad nights. He started to realize that his drinking was involuntary and he felt like it was something that was just happening to him. After one night in particular where he drank 2 bottles of wine and getting to work late feeling horrendous, he decided he had just had enough. After doing some googling on cutting back and found a website called Hello Sunday Morning, where people posted about cutting back. The website encouraged doing a 3 to 12-month time of no drinking. Mark decided to try the 3 months and after successfully doing that and feeling good he decided to go for the 12 months. Looking back now he says it was a really good year. He got healthy and got a lot done at home and at work. But something was missing. [22:22] Go back a little, when did you start to realize that it was getting harder to stop once you started? Mark drank beer and wine and would find himself drinking whenever he would meet up with someone. And he didn't just drink one or two, he drank hard. It was almost as if he was running his life around alcohol. He would never meet someone at a café, he would always meet people at a pub or bar. [24:15] So you're cruising through 2017 dry, on willpower, how much time did you get? Mark says he didn't make it the 12 months. He made it until mid-August, the same time he and his wife bought their home. He celebrated that purchase with a bottle of champagne. He says as soon as he had that bottle of champagne the wheels came off. He also felt that because he went 8-9 months without drinking that he had changed his relationship with alcohol. About a month after drinking the bottle of champagne he was back drinking just as hard as before. [26:00] Once you were back to drinking hard a month later did you stop and think 'oh shit'? He really didn't. He just got back into it and by 2018 he was telling people that after his dry year he was back to drinking and that he had a different relationship with alcohol, which he now thinks was a supreme exercise of self-deception. [26:50] When did this self-deception end? Mark says really only this year, around April 30th. After sharing a bottle of wine with his wife on April 29th she went to bed and he went outside with another bottle of wine. He started to think about what he was doing and started to get angry. He thought about what a great year 2017 had been and now there he was by himself drinking himself to oblivion. It was a feeling of self-disgust. He went back into the house and said, to himself, that he was done, again. [28:45] What do you think was different that time? Mark says its really hard to explain, but that he realized that there was no sense of joy drinking

Melissa, with a sobriety date of October 29, 2018, shares her story. Paul shares one of his favorite emails. Dale from Pittsburgh says…Paul, you son of a bitch. You have completely ruined alcohol for me. Your experience with alcohol may no longer be the same after listening to the podcast! Don't worry about the how…that always solves itself. SHOW NOTES [11:00] Paul introduces Melissa. Melissa says that sobriety is the most badass gift she has given herself. The biggest milestone. She is from Vancouver Canada. She is 44 years old and has a 12-year-old son and a 1-year old rescue dog. Melissa has been a business owner for the last 5 years. For fun she likes to walk in the forest. [16:20] What is something you want to try out in sobriety? Scuba diving! [17:30] Give us a background on your drinking. Melissa had her first drink when she was 15. She got drunk the first time she drank and the kids at school thought she was cool. Her parents got divorced when she was 16 and she took the roll of mom to her younger siblings. In high school she started dating guys that were older and was going to night clubs. When she graduated high school, and turned 18, she started bartending. In 1998 she moved to the Cayman Islands and lived there for 5 years. She drank a lot and her drinking progressed. When she was 27 years old, she moved back home. She got married and they had a son. As she got older, she started to become verbally abusive when she drank. That's when the blackouts started to happen. January 2010 they separate, her son is 3 years old at the time. A few months later, while she is volunteering a police officer approaches her and takes her back to her house. Once she is home she finds out that her brother hit a tree while snowboarding and died. [29:50] bring us up to speed to your sobriety date. 2011…she gets together with a new man. He was an enabler and he let her drink the way she wanted to drink. On October 29th, after begging him to give her another chance, she walked into an AA meeting. [35:40] What was that first meeting like? Melissa says she was a mess. Two old-timers took her under their wings and she will never forget them. She went to meetings every single day for the first month. [36:35] What did it mean to surrender? Melissa realized that she was powerless. The mental obsession was too much and she gave up. [46:42] What have you learned about yourself? The most important thing Melissa has learned about herself is that she has so much to give. [47:28] Rapid Fire Round Worst memory from drinking? Waking up in the middle of the floor and not know what I drank. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Definitely the podcast and AA. In regards to sobriety what's the best advice you've received? Trust the process. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? You're not alone. You might be an alcoholic if... Your 7-year-old son begs you to go to the wine shop after school so he can get the free puck that comes with the bottle of wine you drink. Upcoming retreats: Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019 Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020 You can find more information about these events here Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out."

Sara, with a sobriety date of January 16, 2019, shares her story. On today's episode Paul shares an internet meme that he saw and loved… "Only in my pain, did I find my will. Only in my chaos, did I learn to be still. Only in my fear, did I find my might. Only in my darkness, did I see my light." Starting to see a theme, Paul added a few lines… Only through my self-loathing was I able to love myself. Only through my fears was I able to see how little it has ever served me. Only through guilt was I able to see that all humans make mistakes, and I'm human. Only through shame did I realize I don't owe anyone in life an explanation, ever again. Only through my failures was I able to see what I was doing wrong and then make the necessary corrections. Only through blacking out was I able to recognize the misery with living without light. Only with a crushing headache after a heavy night of drinking was I able to appreciate a clear mind. Only through my addiction was I able to see the path that I didn't want to take and clearly see that path that I did want to take. The trend we are seeing here is called 'the backward law'. It when we experience the suffering before we experience the bliss on the other side. This is also Newton's first law of motion. If you ignore the nudge to quit drinking it will quickly become an elbow to the shoulder, a kick to the groin, then a full Andre the Giant body slam. SHOW NOTES [10:00] Paul introduces Sara. Sara with a sobriety date of January 16, 2019, has been sober for 4 months, 22 days. She is from Melbourne, Australia. She is 36 years old. Sara is single and is studying counseling and coaching. She loves to read nonfiction books on human behavior, phycology, self-development, and relationships. [13:00] Give us a background on your drinking. Sara started drinking at the age of 13. She says from the beginning she couldn't moderate and that alcohol gave her a sense of belonging. Over the years she found herself gravitating towards friendships with people that liked to drink. All her friends liked to party but she had a vague feeling that wasn't a healthy way to live. [14:31] When did you first have the notion that it wasn't a healthy way to live? Sara says it was a long time before she realized it wasn't a healthy way to live but she did know was that the repercussions from her drinking were terrible straight off the bat. Every time Sara drank, she would do something she was ashamed of. She never had an off switch and never had a time when she was a 'normal' drinker. [15:25] Talk to us about your 20s. By the time she was 17 Sara had a calendar on the wall and was ticking off days that she didn't drink. She could only get 2 days straight and found it frustrating why she couldn't get more. This caused her to feel shame and inadequacy as a human. In her 20s she was a bargirl. She would go to the bars with her friends or alone. At 21 she felt the desperation of not knowing what to do about her drinking, she found herself on her knees at a park begging for help. Her prayers were not answered and she continued to drink and continued to do geographicals within Melbourne. At 28 Sara decided to go overseas. She was struggling with her purpose in life and thought she would find herself and sort her drinking out. Instead of finding herself she just found a whole lot of bars. Looking back on that time it feels like wasted time because instead of seeing the world she just drank. [20:25] When did you decide to go back to Australia and that maybe quitting drinking was part of the grander scheme of things? Sara had actually gone to AA when she was 23 and had given up drinking for about 6 months, so she knew AA existed, so she ended up going back to AA in Scotland and England. She had stints of 6 months and 3 months sobriety and says that was some of the most joyous times of her travels. [20:55] What do you think happened after those 6 most joyous months? Sara says her headspace happened. It told her she was cured and that she had evolved in those 6 months, and could drink moderately. [21:45] So did you then make it back to Australia, is that where you got sober? In 2012 Sara returned to Australia. Once back in Australia she pulled away from the pub crowd and was spending more time with just her friends or at home, so she was getting in less trouble but her drinking became more of a daily thing. In the last couple of years alcohol was the only thing that would make her happy. [25:10] Was there a rock bottom moment on January 15, 2019? Tell us what it was like on January 16? No, Sara was sick and tired of being sick and tired. She says she started out on the pink cloud and that lasted about 2 months. She went to an AA meeting on day 1 because she knew that the times she had the longest stretches of sobriety was when she was active in AA. She is still active in AA. [27:15] What was the first month like? What was different this time? She said she was not running on fear but that there was a healthy fe

Chris, with a sobriety date of February 12, 2019, shares his story. On today's episode Paul shares 8 strategies that you can implement when you are going through hard times. Everything can, and will, change. You've overcome challenges before. Recognize this life situation as a learning experience, AKA an opportunity. You may not be getting what you want, but you are getting what you need. Lighten up, do not take yourself to seriously. You can self-medicate with kindness to yourself. Don't make it worse by taking on other people's tough times. There is always something to be happy for. SHOW NOTES: [13:40] Paul introduces Chris. Chris has been sober since February 12, 2019 and is 35 years old. He is a technology trainer for a finance company. He is divorced and has three boys, ages 15, 10 and 7. For fun Chris likes to sing and play guitar in a band, he also does improv and stand up comedy. Since getting sober he is exercising a lot. [14:20] When did you start drinking? He had his first drink, tequila he had stole from his parents, at the age of 11. He was in an AOL chat room at the time and he says it gave him liquid courage to chat freely, and he was hooked. [16:20] Give us a more background about your drinking. Chris's drinking didn't really get going until his sophomore year of high school. It ramped up quickly and he was experiencing black outs by his junior year. Chris also got his 1st, of 3, DUIs his junior year of high school. He started losing friends and girlfriends because of his drinking and by his senior year he was trying to get sober. He started college after high school and got his 2nd DUI at 19 years old. His first son was also born when Chris was 19. For the majority of his 20's he replaced his drinking with marijuana. He married the mother of his son and they had two more. In 2013 they got divorced. Chris's pot smoking was a big part of why they got divorced. After his divorce he went back to drinking. Within a month, at the age of 29, Chris got his 3rd DUI. [25:58] Was there some sobriety time between 2013 and February 2019? He had some forced sobriety time due to being on probation from his 3rd DUI. When all his legal issues were over in 2015, he went back to smoking pot and drinking, and he added taking Adderall into the mix. On February 11th he went to a family member and told them that he was taking Adderall and not as prescribed. He wanted help. The first 3 days of his sobriety he stayed with family. He also called the doctor that prescribed the Adderall and "burnt the ships". [33:55] What was your first month off the substances like? It took him a few days to get his sleep schedule back to normal, but Chris says he had so much fun that the first weekend he spent with his boys off of all substances. He started to flip things around and instead of looking at sobriety as missing out on something he started looking at it as what he was gaining. He was choosing to be happy, and he was. [40:10] What are some of the tools you've used these last 4 months? He listens to recovery podcasts, like Recovery Elevator and Recovery Happy Hour. The online support group and forum is always there. Chris also reads a lot of self-help books. [43:00] What advice would you give to your younger self? He would tell himself to love himself more and that he is worth more than he thinks, but he also feels like he needed to go through all the things he went though to get to where he is now. [44:45] Do you know why you were using substances? Chris says that his internal self didn't feel good enough, and to hide those feelings he used. [45:50] What have you learned about yourself, along the way, that stands out? Chris leaned that he can change, that he is capable of positive change. [47:00] Rapid Fire Round Worst memory from drinking? Getting so drunk at a neighbor's house that his kids had to go home to their mother's house and having to call the next morning, realizing his drinking was affecting his kids. What's your plan in sobriety moving forward? To keep moving and not get comfortable. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? If you think you have an issue then you probably do, try quitting for 30 days. You can do it. You might be an alcoholic if... You're listening to this podcast. Also, if you're shopping for fancy craft beer and you have to look at the alcohol by volume percentage of each beer, before you buy it. And if you don't find the alcohol by volume you break out your phone and google it, because anything under 5% would not be worth the can allowance. Upcoming retreats: Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019 Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020 You can find more information about these events here Resources mentioned in this episode: BetterHelp Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR. Connect with C

Tim, with 2 days of sobriety, shares his story. On today's episode Paul talks about 2 articles that discuss alcohol use. Links for these articles can be found following the show notes. The first article, published on May 7, 2019 in USA Today, says that alcohol use is soaring worldwide, with the average adult now consuming about 1.7 gallons of pure alcohol per year. Just in the past 27 years the total volume of alcohol that people consumed globally increased by 70%. Even though on a global level alcohol consumption is increasing, if you are listening to this podcast you have made it further than 95% of people out there. You are starting to make changes. On the brighter side, an article published on January 17, 2018 in Bloomberg, reported that Americans drank less alcohol in 2018, for the third straight year. Total cases of beer, wine and spirits consumed in the US dropped by .8% in 2018. This was the third straight year that there had been a decline in consumption. So globally people are consuming more alcohol, but in the United States consumption is declining. There's a new term called 'sobor curious', which includes a large population that doesn't necessarily have an issue with alcohol, but are waking up and are recognizing that maybe messages that big alcohol is telling us aren't panning out to be true in real life. SHOW NOTES [12:30] Tim, with a sobriety date of May 13, 2019, has 2 days sober. After having this interview scheduled for about a week Tim emailed Paul to let him know that he had drank. He felt like he might not be the ideal candidate to be on the podcast. After reading the email, Paul let Tim know that he is exactly who he wants to have on the podcast. [15:10] Paul introduces Tim. Tim is 36 years old and was born, and raised, in Boston Massachusetts. He came from an Italian family that was in the construction industry. In middle and high school, he developed a real passion for music. He dedicated himself to hours and hours of voice, guitar and piano lessons, which led him into a career in ministry as a worship leader. Tim got married at 19 and is still married to the same woman, they are about to celebrate 17 years and have 3 children. His career in ministry is in the past and he is working as a project manager for a company that installs high end woodworking beams and bookshelves. [16:45] Give us a little background about your drinking. Tim started drinking at 15 and the first night he drank he got alcohol poisoning. He spent that first night in the shower throwing up and blacking out. He says he was never able to drink casually. Getting married at the age of 19, to a woman that is a couple years older than him, meant that he had someone that could buy alcohol for him. In his early 20s he was drinking about a 6-pack a day. At the age of 25 Tim attended his first AA meeting, just to see. By this time, he was drinking 8-10 beers a day. After listening to someone's story at that meeting, he decided that he was not an alcoholic. Tim says he went to a few more AA meetings throughout his 20s, but he continued to drink and started to mix it up with hard alcohol and found his favorite drink, Captain and Coke. As he moved through his 30's, Tim and his wife started to have pretty regular arguments about his drinking. Tim says he was looking for his wife to put her foot down and give him an ultimatum, but that wasn't happening. He tried to moderate, and that didn't work. He had some periods, 3 – 6 months, when he did not drink, but once he would consume alcohol again it would take about a week and he would be right back to daily drinking. [21:30] In regards to those times of abstinence, what was it that brought you back to drinking? Tim would tell himself that because he just went 3, or 6, months without drinking, that he must have control over it. The thought of having a glass of wine with his wife, while they watch the sunset, would just seem nice. That first drink always took him back to where he left off, in a matter of weeks. In his 30s Tim started hiding alcohol and lying about how much he was drinking. He was always calculating how he was going to get that buzz. [23:46] Did you have a rock bottom moment when you knew you had a problem? Tim had joked about being a black out drinker in his 20s, but it wasn't until his 30's that he discovered he was really blacking out. He would drink and come to and realize that he had driven or would come to and not know where he was or who he was with. When he was blacking out on a regular basis, he knew he had a problem. [25:20] What happens next? When Tim was 30, he had gotten a job offer from a huge church down in Atlanta. It was like his life's dream, so they moved down to Atlanta. For the next 6 years Tim found himself counseling people about their drug and alcohol problems, while his drinking continued. When Tim was 34, he went to a psychiatrist who put him on Adderall, he then was mixing alcohol and Adderall. He became addicted to the Adderall. [30:10] R

Nick, with 101 days of sobriety, shares his story. Paul is asking the listeners what they want to hear on the podcast. Do you want more interviews with industry professionals, such as recovery coaches, authors, and wellness leaders? Or do you like the podcast just the way it is with Paul interviewing sobriety badasses? Leave a review on iTunes and let Paul know! On today's podcast Paul shares that he was recently interviewed on a podcast called, Self Made and Sober by the host Andrew Lassise. Andrew asked Paul what was the difference between his first 2 ½ years of sobriety and from September 7, 2014 on. According to Paul, that was a fantastic question with an easy answer. The first 2 ½ years of sobriety was from January 1, 2010 through August 2012. On 1/1/10 Paul made a declaration to go 30 days without alcohol. When day 30 hit Paul was at a crossroads. He had started to lose weight, feel good, his face was less puffy, life just got better. So, he decided to go another month. Going into month 3 the pink cloud showed up. But during this 2 ½ years he had a mindset of lack. A mindset that he was missing something, couldn't do something. And as with anything, when we approach a goal with a mindset of lack, with a mindset that we will be missing something, it is not going to last. After 2 ½ years Paul went to his first AA meeting and walked away thinking "I got this.". 2 days later he drank, picking up right where he had left off. Those first 2 ½ years were based on willpower, which does not work. On September 7, 2014 something felt different. He knew that he had to quit drinking. But his mindset was different. Paul wasn't looking at giving up alcohol as a sacrifice, but rather that space was being created, and things (alcohol) were being cleared, for better things to come. This time he wasn't doing it out of fear, he was doing it because there was a light at the end of the tunnel, an opportunity. That opportunity shows up every day. Instead of having a mindset of lack Paul now has a mindset of opportunity. SHOW NOTES [18:40] Paul introduces Nick. Nick is 29 years old and has been sobor since January 25, 2019. He says that that biggest lesson he has learned in recovery so far is personal acceptance. Nick is from Saginaw, MI. He says he is figuring out what he likes to do for fun, that right now everything is fun whereas when he was drinking nothing was fun. He enjoys being around people, disk golf, hiking, and meditation. He is divorced, a result of his addiction, but close to his family who live is Saginaw as well. For work Nick is about to start a new position with an organization called Families Against Narcotics. [22:40] Give us a little background about your drinking. Nick started drinking and using at the age of 14. From the first time he drank nick knew he wasn't like other people. He realized he didn't have an off switch. He says there was no slow progression in to alcoholism, that he was an addict the first time he took a drink. Throughout college he was binge drinking up to 5 nights a week, but that didn't seem like a problem to Nick because that was what everyone else was doing. In 2012 his drinking and drugging amplified. But he was still doing well in school, still holding a job, still doing everything that looked normal on the outside. [25:43] Sounds like there was some cognitive dissonance, tell us what that was like, how did that feel? Nick said he felt powerless. He felt out of control and the only way he felt better was more drinking. There was a lot of rationalizing and minimalizing. In July of 2014 Nick went into rehab for the first time. In September 2014 his wife kicked him out. He moved back home and was doing drugs and drinking every day. On December 6, 2014 Nick overdosed. That put him in the hospital for about 2 weeks, and they weren't even sure he was going to make it. He then went back to rehab and says that's when there was a shift in his mindset. He finally accepted that he wasn't in control and that his life was unmanageable. He entered into a 3-month inpatient rehab; the same one his brother was at. [28:18] What did it feel like when you had that mind shift? Nick said it was a huge relief, that it felt like he could let go and let God take over. [31:15] Tell us what it was like being in rehab with your brother. They were both there for 3 months but they kept them apart for the first month. After that they started to have some overlap with their programs. Nick said he had the mind shift but that his brother did not. On the plane ride home from rehab his brother purchased a beer. This made Nick angry and he told his brother that. His brother minimalized it. [33:30] Take us from getting out of rehab in the beginning of 2015 to your sobriety date the beginning of 2019. Nick has been active in recovery since getting out of rehab. He has had slip ups and relapses, never with the hard drugs, just with alcohol. The last time he drank was January 24, 2019. [37:10] Talk to us about some of

Gerald, with a sobriety date of November 16, 2015, shares his story. Registration for the RE Asia Adventure is now open! You can register and get more information about this event here On a recent Café' RE webinar, our host Odette, who is a sobriety warrior, brought a fantastic topic to the webinar. The Cherokee parable titled Two Wolves. It is about an old Cherokee teaching his grandson about life. He tells the grandson that he has a fight going on inside him between two wolves. One is evil, the other is good. The grandson thought for a moment and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?" The old Cherokee replied, "The one you feed." This same fight is going on inside all of us. But we should refrain from labeling our wolves 'evil' and 'good', because they are both equally important. We tend to feed our 'evil' wolf more, because it's source of energy doesn't require much action. When this wolf gets thirsty, we feed it alcohol. The 'good' wolf takes more effort and energy to feed, it craves sobriety. Because both wolves are equally important, we cannot ignore the 'evil' one, we must acknowledge it and that will keep it happy. When we ignore one, we become unbalanced. SHOW NOTES [13:00] Paul introduces Gerald. Gerald is 50 years old and lives in Boulder, CO with his family. He was born and raised in Connecticut, where he went to a private school and private college. Skiing and biking are Gerald's passions. [15:50] Give us a little background about your drinking. Gerald started drinking when he was in high school. Through high school and college his drinking was only an occasional/weekend thing. After moving to Boulder, he cut back on his drinking because he was staying active biking and training for triathlons. At the age of 30 he decided he wanted to go to culinary school and stopped exercising and started eating, and his drinking picked up. He gained 40 pounds. In 2011 he decided he wanted to lose the weight, so he got back on his bike, cut back on his drinking, and in 8 months lost the 40 he had gained. When he was 43 Gerald lost his job and the decrease in income forced him and his family to move in with his in-laws. While he appreciated what his in-laws were doing for him and his family, he says it really started to take its toll on him and the way he felt as a man. This is when his drinking really started to progress. [19:11] What happened after that? In April of 2015 he lost another job. The pattern was starting to solidify. This was also when he really started to get into personal development. [20:20] Did you start to see the role that alcohol was playing in your life? Gerald said only looking backwards. He didn't see it at the time. He thought he drank the same as all his friends, and that nobody ever pulled him aside or suggested he had a drinking problem. He did stop drinking for 3 weeks and nobody seemed to notice, so he went back to his normal and kept on drinking. [21:55] What happened on November 16, 2015? Gerald was on his way home from his job at a brewery and was invited to a going away party for someone from work. After grabbing alcohol from work, and drinking even more from the party, he got behind the wheel, took a turn and hit the curb hard enough to employ his side airbag…right in front of a cop. He got a DUI. [23:00] Was this your rock bottom moment? Gerald says it was the moment that he knew he had to change something. He got kicked out of his in-law's house that night and lost his job a few days later. He found himself starting at ground zero again. [28:45] What was day 1 like? On day 1 Gerald kept an appointment with his blog coach, which he had made prior to his DUI. He says that appointment was transformational. It helped him begin to understand that he had a different purpose. Instead of doing what he just wanted to do he was trying to create something of value. Providing more value to people made the biggest difference in his life. [30:56] Walk us through that first week, that first month. Connection with his family made the biggest difference, and understanding that he was moving away from something while moving towards something else. Instead of trying to avoid drinking he started looking forward to other things like creating content and spending time with his kids. **Gerald wrote a book titled, My Morning Practice: How to Put Down the Bottle, Escape Mediocrity, and Master Your Morning Mindset** [35:15] Talk to us about how changing one little habit in the morning can make a tremendous change in your life. Gerald starting noticing that most of the most successful people on the planet all had a morning routine. A lot of those routines included exercise. Gerald decided to write 10 ideas down every morning. About a month later he heard about a bike challenge so he adding biking to his mornings. He continued to add things to his routine. This routine gave Gerald the time and the space to really think about what is important to him. [40:00] Walk us through a good morning

Alex, with 63 days of sobriety, shares his story. On today's podcast Paul talks about what researchers, that studied the drinking habits of people that work with the public, discovered. They found that employees that forced themselves to smile and be happy around customers were more at risk to heavier drinking after work. Because of this, employers may want to rethink their 'service with a smile' policies. Employees that work with the public may be using a lot of self-control, so later these employees may not have enough self-control to regulate how much they drink. Faking, or suppressing emotions, is called surface acting, which is also linked with drinking after work. Overall it was found that employees that interacted with the public drank more after work than those who did not. Try not to suppress your emotions. Emotions are just that, emotions. They are not good or bad. It's okay to be authentic in the work place. The best way to be authentic is with eye contact. Authenticity replaces positivity. SHOW NOTES [13:45] Paul introduces Alex. Alex is 34 years old. He lives in Sandy, UT, where he was born and raised. He is married and has a 3-year-old son. He works in information technology and is a captain in the Army National Guard. For fun Alex likes anything outdoors. He enjoys skiing, camping, glamping and also plays the guitar and drums. [16:20] Give us a little background about your drinking. Alex joined the military and started drinking at age 21. He describes his drinking as like a frog in a slow boil. Around age 30 drinking really started to affect his health. His hangovers were getting worse. He was having unexplained pains where his liver was located and experiencing a shortness of breath. [20:45] What was your anxiety like? He was worried about things a normal person wouldn't be worried about. In October 2017 he went to his doctor and was finally honest about his anxiety and depression…but not with his drinking. In January of 2018 he decided to do a dry January so hit the booze hard leading up to it. [25:45] What was it like on January 1st? At day 15 Alex found the podcast and started binge listening to it. He realized he was like the people on the podcast, that he was an alcoholic. At day 32, after making it through 'dry January' he drank. That started a 2-week bender. [30:56] During that 2-week bender did you try to stop? He got a case of the 'fuck-its' and that 2-week bender was just everyday hammering the alcohol. He then just realized that he wasn't being the person he wanted to be. [32:40] Talk to us about after you had that moment of clarity. The most important thing for Alex was being very honest with himself about the fact he is an alcoholic and needs to stay away from alcohol. He made an appointment with his doctor and told him about his drinking. His doctor referred him to therapy. [37:37] How are you going to get day 64? He says he needs to keep busy. He goes to a climbing gym. He drinks sparkling water if he feels like he needs something in his hand. [39:42] What have you learned about yourself during this alcohol-free journey? He's returning to who he wants to be. Most importantly he's learned how to be honest with himself. [44:00] Rapid Fire Round Worst memory from drinking? All the times I made my wife feel like shit. Do you remember a specific 'oh-shit' moment? A year after my son was born, I was having suicidal thoughts. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Definitely this podcast. In regards to sobriety what is the best advice you've ever received? To think about the positives instead of the negatives. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Know that you are lying to yourself and start being honest with yourself. You might be an alcoholic if... You count the half 16oz. flat warm 9% beer from the night before as inventory for tonight's alcohol intake. Upcoming retreats: Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019 Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020 You can find more information about these events here Thank you to today's sponsor Betterhelp Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. For (podcast name) listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR. Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out."

Ryan, with 90 days of sobriety, shares his story. On today's podcast Paul talks about the 3 major players when it comes to sobriety. The players are; the mind, the body, and the breath. Paul likes to call this the 20/40/40 rule, because that is how we should allocate the importance to these 3 major players. The mind (20%) should be used as a radar to scan the body, do not try and use the mind to solve addiction. The body (40%) never lies, it is your unconscious mind. The breath (40%) is like your fighter jet. Once your mind has located where on your body your energetic mass has accumulated get in your fighter jet (the breath) and start building circuits in this area. SHOW NOTES [12:15] Paul introduces Ryan. Ryan lives in Sacramento, Ca. He works in sales for a large software company. He is 35 years old and got married last year. For fun Ryan likes anything outdoors. He enjoys snowboarding, hiking, running, and he is currently training for a half marathon. Ryan says he is an extrovert and gets a lot of energy hanging out and talking with people and friends. [14:20] Give us a little background about your drinking. Ryan had his first drink at 14 years old. Throughout high school he played a lot of sports and only drank on the weekends. His drinking ramped up in college. He joined a fraternity and was always the guy that you could count on to do crazy things. Looking back, he can see that his drinking ramped up in college and it never stopped once he was out of college. Even though he would go periods when drinking didn't seem to be a problem, he would then be back to blacking out again and drinking like he was in college. [16:30] When did you start to realize that alcohol was a problem? Ryan says that is tricky, because even though he would wake up and not remember things from the night before his friends were doing the same thing, and they'd be making jokes about it. But when he was 21, he woke in the hospital and they told him he had a .39 blood alcohol level (BAC). Someone had called an ambulance. He says that that was probably not the only time his BAC had been that high. He felt the problem was the fact that he was blacking out, and that is what he tried to address, which is why he continued to drink for the next 10-15 years. [18:25] In your 20s was there a specific moment that you tried to take action in regards to your drinking? Ryan says no. He felt he was in his 20s and he was having fun. He was still functioning and finding success in his career. He did try putting some rules on his drinking but says he never really wanted to stop drinking during his 20s, he just wanted to stop blacking out. [19:30] When did you realize that to stop blacking out wasn't an option, but that you had to address the alcohol. Ryan says he doesn't really feel he ever had quitting on the table until 90 days ago. He took breaks, but never with the intention of quitting. Even after being diagnosed with type I diabetes at the age of 29 he didn't think he should stop drinking, instead his thoughts were, "will I be able to drink again?". [23:20] What happened 90 days ago? More than anything Ryan says he was just sick and tired of being sick and tired. He also says his wife played a big role in it. After a work trip to Vegas and blacking out, losing his phone and credit card, and his wife not being able to get a hold of him he realized just how scared she was when he got home. Scared that something really bad could have happened to him. He knew then he had to stop drinking. [28:15] What was the first week, the first month, after Vegas like? He felt empowered and knew he was going to do it. He wasn't sure how he was going to do it, was definitely scared, but knew he was going to do it. First and foremost, his wife said that she would quit with him. He started reading books about alcohol/alcoholism. He started looking at all the opportunities that giving up alcohol would bring. [33:07] What are some of the big things you've learned in the last 90 days without alcohol? He's learned to be more present and more mindful. [36:20] Do you know why you drank? He feels it had to do with his ego and a sense of identification. Growing up he identified himself as an athlete, in college he could no longer truly do that. College was the first time he was away from his twin brother so he was building his own identity. He became the fun, social, crazy guy and he thinks that was his why. [39:00] What's on your bucket list in sobriety? Ryan doesn't have a bucket list, or a list of things he wants to get done. He is just taking action in the moment when he wants to do something. [39:38] Is there anything you would have done differently while getting sober? He would have done it sooner. [39:46] What's the biggest obstacle you've encountered in the last 90 days? He says it's been the anxiety leading up to, and before, telling people about his sobriety. [41:30] Rapid Fire Round Worst memory from drinking? There's no worst, there's just lots of really bad

Liz, with a sobriety date of July 8, 2017, shares her story. Workshops for the Bozeman, MT, retreat in August are lined up! There are still a few spots left! You can find more information about this event here On today's podcast Paul talks about a common misconception people have as they move forward in a life without alcohol. That misconception is that when we get sober, we will finally find out who we really are. But that isn't how it works. We do get to that point, but first we must find out who we aren't. During this phase; people, places, things, ideas, thought patterns, identities, that are no longer in line with your new direction in life will start to fade away. Just allow this process to happen. Recovery is all about action, but this is a process of inaction. This is a recurring process. SHOW NOTES [10:05] Paul introduces Liz. Liz is 29 years old and is originally from Indiana but is now living in Frankfurt, Illinois. She is a licensed, board certified, acupuncturist and Chinese herbalist. She is married. For fun she enjoys working out, hiking, yoga, reading, going to concerts, and she is a big foodie. [11:00] Give us a little background about your drinking. Liz started drinking when she was about 12 or 13 years old. She was an only child and grew up in an abusive household, with addict parents (who are still active in their addictions). She was sexually abused by her father and his friends between the ages of 8-10. All of this trauma laid dormant until Liz was 21 years old. Liz's father would give her drugs and alcohol whenever she would ask, she believes it was his way of keeping her numb, so that she would never speak up. Her house was the party house in high school, and even middle school. Liz dated an ecstasy dealer, which led her into an ecstasy addiction and an overdose. At the age of 20 she went to jail for underage drinking. She moved to Chicago when she was 21. She was working and going to school full time, and drinking. [16:55] You are the first person interviewed that has said they always knew they had a drinking problem, please explain. She knew that when she started drinking at 12/13 years old that she was drinking to cover something up. It was always a numbing agent for Liz, never a feel-good agent. It was just the way I coped with everything. Knowing she needed help she found an addictions counselor in Chicago. Within the first session the counselor was telling her she was an alcoholic and addict, needed AA and to enter inpatient treatment. She continued to go to therapy, but did not enter into inpatient. It was during this time that the sexual abuse from her childhood started to surface and her drinking and drugging intensified. [20:24] What was it like when these memories started to bubble up? Liz says this is when the downward spiral of her addiction really started to intensify. She was still going to work and school, but was blacking out nightly. If she didn't go to bed drunk, she would have vivid night terrors. [22:23] Tell us about what it was like when you were meeting with the hypnotherapist. She assessed Liz, told her she needed AA and to stop drinking and basically told her she was not willing to work with her unless she stopped drinking. Liz told her she was unwilling to stop drinking and insisted on the therapy. The therapist agreed to proceed although she told her she may not get much out of it due to her alcohol consumption. Liz showed up for every appointment, about twice a week for 6 months. It was the most intense therapy Liz has ever gone through. She relived the trauma and was able to heal from it. [24:45] What happened next? She continued to see the therapist, continued to drink, and she finished school. Once she was done with school she moved to Illinois. Her drinking//drugging slowed to the weekends, although she was still blacking out and her weekends were spent hungover. She tried moderating. She started breaking out in hives when she would drink. It did not matter what she drank, or how much. One drink would lead to hives from head to toe. So, she started taking Claritin before she drank, so she could continue drinking without the hives. Her hangovers started to get worse and last longer. She got engaged in 12/2015 and married in 8/2017. July of 2017 was her bachelorette party weekend, and July 8, 2017 is her sobriety date. [31:16] What was it like in early sobriety? She remembers being really scared to go anywhere, not wanting to explain anything to anyone. Feelings were new to her and made her nervous. She continued with her therapy during the first year of sobriety. She did AA for about 6 months. [35:00] Talk to us about how acupuncture can be helpful in sobriety. Acupuncture can help release endorphins, increase serotonin levels, help get people off of anxiety meds, and help with overall cravings. [37:25] How has your life changed in sobriety? She finally feels content, no longer feels restless. [40:10] What's on your bucket list in sobriety? Liz wants t

Nick, with 111 days sober, shares his story. On today's episode Paul discusses anxiety, depression and stress. "These pains you feel are messengers. Listen to them." ~ Rumi. Depression is when mental energies are stuck in the past, anxiety is when we are living in the future, and stress accumulates when the end goal is more important than the task at hand. Liberation from all three of these dysfunctions resides in the present moment. There is an undeniable connection between alcohol and depression. Remove alcohol and the bulk of melancholy should be lifted within a matter of months. Anxiety levels should also return to baseline after removing alcohol from your life. When we are primarily focused on the end outcome, and not the task at hand, we experience stress. Stress can be devastating to the equanimity in the body. The most powerful remedy to depression, anxiety, and stress is to ground yourself in the moment. SHOW NOTES [10:40] Paul introduces Nick Nick is 32 years old and lives in Vancouver, Canada. He works in the career center at a university. He has been married for 2 years. For fun, he is still trying to figure that out in sobriety, but he enjoys having conversation and making connections with people. [13:20] Give us a little background about your drinking. Nick didn't really start drinking until his early 20's. He says he liked to drink, that there never really was a time that he did not enjoy it. He felt he could drink more than most and still be OK. And what that ended up doing was it basically normalized drinking large amounts of alcohol, because he wasn't getting sick or waking up with a hangover. Things slowly escalated from there. In 2010 Nick moved to Vancouver. There were a few times when he decided that he didn't like how much he was drinking, and he would just stop for a few months at a time. [17:00] What was the catalyst for you to decide to go a month or two without alcohol? He went through a really messed up experience between his best friend and the person he was dating at the time. He dealt with that experience by drinking. What he came to realize was that alcohol just made him feel worse. So, he distanced himself from those 2 people and from alcohol. He went 3-4 months without drinking, not thinking he would never drink again, but more because he felt he needed a break from it. When Nick started to drink again, the next year or two, it wasn't that bad. But what came back very quickly was the familiar feeling that alcohol made him feel comfortable, safe, more confident. The thing that tipped Nick off to drinking becoming a problem was in order to feel normal or comfortable in a situation, he needed alcohol. [20:15] When did you realize that your drinking was a problem? It's hard for him to pinpoint exactly when that happened. It built very slowly over time. It snowballed and it wasn't until many years later that he realized that he had lost control. [22:05] When was the moment that you did stop and see that alcohol was the factor that was causing that unease in your life? Nick says there were lots of smaller moments, but when he really knew it, it was about 6 months after a good friend died from leukemia. He started isolating and drinking alone. [25:50] Did you have a rock bottom moment? How did you finally make the push forward into sobriety? Nick tried to moderate, which didn't work. He then started to go to counseling on a regular basis. He was honest with his therapist about his drinking. He started journaling which helped him to see why he was drinking. He became more self-aware and was communicating better. He was still sad and grieving. Over the next year his drinking escalated. Around September 2018 he was listening to a lot of podcasts and just knew that he had to give up drinking. He came home one day, after listening to the RE podcast, took his earbuds out, and just cried. Part of the reason he cried was because he realized that he was not alone. [34:05] When the tears came flowing, what did it feel like to fully lean in? Nick says it felt terrifying and he felt very vulnerable, but also so relieved. That began a long series of day ones. On December 1st he joined the Café'RE Facebook group. After drinking a lot after a staff party on December 7, he has not picked up since. [41:30] What was the first week like, the first month? How did you do it? The first few days were a little rough. Because of all the journaling he had done he knew the hours that he needed to keep himself busy. He changed the route he would take as he would walk home so that he would not be passing liquor stores. He got connected and reached out to others in the group. [44:16] With 111 days what's he biggest challenge you've encountered so far? The feeling of plateauing. He's sober and isn't experiencing cravings, so the question of "what now"? [45:50] What was the Recovery Elevator Nashville event like? It was great. As soon as he heard about the Nashville event, he knew he had to try to get himself th

Sami, with a sobriety date of July 21, 2018, shares her story. On today's podcast Paul discuses surrender. What does is really mean to reach a point of surrendering? It doesn't have to be complicated. Surrendering simply means yielding to your next stage in life. As Paul mentioned on a previous podcast, addictions are no more than sign posts in life, and surrender is when we fully accept them and make, what is most likely to be the most important change in our life, quitting alcohol. Once we reach that moment when we realize that there are no more ways to moderate, when we clearly see that any attempt at moderation results in a dumpster fire, we usually find ourselves saying things like; f*ck it, I quit, I'm done, or I can't do this anymore. If you've ever muttered those words then congratulations! You've hit what Paul calls the 'now what' milestone, which is huge. This is when we enter into a moment of clarity and surrender. Surrendering is not a one and done thing. Surrendering is something you will repeatedly do as you continue on your journey in sobriety. SHOW NOTES [11:35] Paul introduces Sami Sami is 28 years old. She lives in Prescott, Az. She has a 9-year-old son, 2 wiener dogs, and a cat. For fun Sami likes to hike/wander around the woods, do yoga and is into crystals. [13:00] Give us a little background about your drinking. Sami says she comes from a whole family of alcoholics. She had her first beer at the age of 14. She remembers being jealous of her older brothers, at the age of 13, because they could party and she was too young. During her teenage years she smoked pot more than she drank. When Sami was 17 her mom, who had a drug problem, passed away. At the age of 19 Sami got pregnant with her son. When Sami turned 21, she went out to the bars, got wasted, felt horrible the following day, and said she would not do that again. And she didn't, for about a year. She split up with the father of her son, reconnected with a high school girlfriend, and started going out. She says her drinking progressed from, 'I'm not drinking alone.", to bringing home beer to drink alone. She tried to hide being an alcoholic behind liking craft beer. When her son started asking her how many beers she had had she realized that drinking may be an issue. [19:00] When your son started asking you that question did you stop and think…this might not be right? When he would ask her that she would get irritated. [19:55] What through the next couple years up until your sobriety date in July 2018. Eventually she was drinking every day, and also driving. Drinking and driving with her son in the car. April 14, 2014, she went to visit a girlfriend and they hung out by the pool drinking. On her way home, swerving along the way, she pulled over to ask her son if he was OK. He replied he was, she continued, and about a mile from home she saw the flashing lights in her rear-view mirror. She was handcuffed, taken to jail. Her dad came and picked her son up. It was the worst night of her life…her rock-bottom. [25:40] Bring us up to July 21, 2018. She got her DUI and had a restricted driver's license. She still didn't fully get it. After the DUI and after drinking she asked a friend to go get her cigarettes and he got in an accident on the way. She blamed herself for the accident…if she hadn't been drinking, she would not have asked him to go. This was her last drink. [28:55] Walk us through what happened after July 21, 2018. Sami had to humble herself to ask for help getting herself to work and her son to school. She had to get comfortable staying at home. She started to learn more about alcohol and started to feel better [32:15] Talk to us about how you got through the intense cravings in the early months. She had cravings but she learned that they are fleeting and that they would go away. She started to realize that so many of the things she thought would not be enjoyable without alcohol were in fact more enjoyable. [35:25] How has your life changed without alcohol? For the better. She has more confidence and likes herself more. She is a better mom and her relationship with her son is better. [37:45] What does a typical day in your sobriety look like? She wakes up, gets her son to school and herself to work. Gets off work and goes home. Goes to yoga some evenings. She draws, reads and does a lot of art projects. She stays away from things that may trigger her. She surrounds herself with girls that are good for her sobriety. She spends time with her family, who are also sober and understand. [40:24] Rapid Fire Round When was your oh-shit moment? I would say it was Christmas 2017. I drank a bottle of Jameson and got so wasted I don't remember if my son had any fun. What is you plan in sobriety moving forward? I'm really excited about re-doing things that I have totally screwed up, like my son's birthday. Continuing my yoga practice and continuing finding myself. What's your favorite resource in sobriety? The Recovery Elevator podcast.

James, with a sobriety date of November 12, 2016, shares his story. Recovery Elevator is on Instagram! Please follow Paul and Ben here . On today's podcast Paul discuses relapse. For some, and Paul has only met a few, relapse isn't part of their story. But for the vast majority it is, and it isn't something to be ashamed of. Spontaneous sobriety is rare. Paul feels that the word 'relapse' is another word in recovery, similar to the word 'alcoholic', that needs to be thrown out. The word 'relapse' has implications of failure. When we drink again, after having made the internal declaration not to, we are simply doing more field research, learning lessons along the way. If you find yourself in a continuous cycle of field research, self-compassion is key. Stop placing success and failure parameters on whether you drank last night or not. When we start addressing what we are using alcohol to cover up than relapse will become less frequent and even a thing of the past. When you do find yourself on stable footing, beware of the 3 most dangerous words on this journey…I got this. SHOW NOTES **Listeners you can listen to James' first interview back on episode 105 when he had 74 days of sobriety, today he has 850 days. [8:05] Paul introduces James James is 31 years old and lives in New Jersey with his wife and their pomsky, Milo. He works in Manhattan. For fun he likes to golf, go to the gym, and hang with his wife and pup. [10:50] Give us a little background about your drinking. James started drinking when he was 13, stealing beers and wine coolers from the liquor cabinet. In high school he was not a big drinker, although he remembers how drinking helped make him feel comfortable. He started college, on a golf scholarship, became good friends with one of his teammates that was a Christian, started going to bible study and church and didn't drink his entire freshman year. Later, one of his teammates from England, was graduating so they threw a party and James drank. He picked up right where he left off and the next three years of college he was binge drinking and dabbled in drugs. The spring semester of his senior year his coach called him in to his office and told him not to come to practice anymore, that he was coming in smelling like liquor and bringing the rest of the team down. This was the first time that he realized his drinking was affecting other people. [13:44] Can you tell us what it felt like to have someone on the outside call you out on your drinking. Immediately James was embarrassed and ashamed. He walked out of the office feeling sad and like he had let everyone down. He was able to curb his drinking enough to not be a burden and make it through the last 3 months playing golf. 2010 James was in Barcelona, caddying at a nice country club, the 2nd day he caddied he met a man that offered him a job which he took a week later. This was the beginning of the end. From the time he graduated at 21 years old to 28 years old, when he got sober, it was a quick progression of drugs and alcohol. In the span of 5 years James lost his Grandfather, his uncle and his Dad. Instead of dealing with the losses he used alcohol and drugs. At 27 he was arrested for possession of cocaine, theft, and disturbing the peace. This leads to an intervention by his family and his Mom gives him the option to go to rehab or see a therapist. He picked the therapist. He went through a number of therapists and his girlfriend of 2 years left him during this time. [22:40] What did it feel like that moment when you told yourself you were done. He immediately felt a sense of relief. He reached out to a friend from college, that he used to party with, but from his posts on Facebook knew that he had gotten sober. At this time neither his family, or his girlfriend, would talk to him. He went to see his friend from college the next day. Talking to him helped, and he also started 12 weeks of IOP. Everyday he would ask himself, is this going to honor my father. He knew he had to make some changes and he firmly believes his father died to save his life. [24:45] Once you surrendered, how did you make it one week, one month, how did you do it? One day at a time. James says he was never a half-in guy, so once he decided to get sober, he dove in. He found the RE podcast, started reading a lot, went to AA, and was going to IOP and therapy 3 times a week. Very early he burned the ships with everyone, which he says was very therapeutic. He could finally breath and no longer had all the guilt and the shame. [28:00] What was the transition from drinking/partying like you did, to the clean and sober life, like? James said it was hard, but that it was almost like he was going back to the person he was the whole time, and it was a relief. In the last 6 months he shifted from playing the victim and feels he is becoming exactly who he is supposed to be. [33:05] Talk to us about your year 1 and year 2 and the differences between the two. James says he definitely h

Brad, with a sobriety date of August 31, 2018, shares his story. Paul talks about the 'now' and ways we can ground ourselves while we find ourselves taking this thing one day at a time. At some period in our journey we will find ourselves logging our days in our tracker like it 'ain't no thing'. Then there are other days when we wake up and keeping the mind in check can be a constant struggle. Paul shares some of his own favorite personal techniques that he uses to ground himself. Acknowledge what is really happening. Think in terms of "we" rather than "I" Take your shoes off and walk barefooted outside. You are nature…take time to go out in your natural setting, nature. Slow down. Do not multitask Pay close attention to the body Go from saying, "I can get through this', to saying, "I AM getting through this". Go with the gut. Last one is I tell myself "Dude, Paul…this isn't you!" If you have a grounding technique that you use, that isn't listed here, email it to Paul and put "Grounding Techniques" in the subject line. SHOW NOTES [12:10] Paul introduces Brad Brad is 31 years old and is from Fort Wayne, Indiana. He is a traveling salesperson and sells health care products to providers. He is married and has a daughter. For fun he likes to golf and recently has joined a kick boxing gym. [14:15] Give us a little background about your drinking. Brad was a good kid all through high school. At 17 he had a job as a barback where he learned a lot about alcohol. He was pretty much alcohol free all through college. When he was 20 years old he went to England and that is when he started to drink, not having too many sober days while there. Later, at 21 years old, he is back in the states working as a resident assistant and is spending as much time as he can at the bar. Later he moved back home into his parent's basement and was sneaking off to the bars, rather than spending time with them, as much as he could. This is where he met his wife. They got married and, on their honeymoon, because he had had so much to drink, he almost drowned himself. He continued to drink the duration of the honeymoon. Fast forward to his wife being pregnant with their daughter, a lot of changes taking place in their relationship and he is no longer the focus of it. After his daughter was born, he was laid off from his job. He spent a lot of his nights, while helping care for his daughter, drinking heavily. In January of 2018 his grandfather committed suicide. Brad found another job and then there was a spiral from June to August, 2018. August 31, 2018, he got pulled over for drunk driving. He hit his bottom in a jail cell. The next day his dad took him to his first AA meeting. After appearing in front of a judge he his charges where dropped. [19:40] Talk to us about a couple moments where the writing was on the wall (before your sobriety date). He missed a flight home because he was drinking in the airport bar. Spending too much time drinking after golf. [23:15] Did you ever try and quit before your sobriety date? He tried to moderate, but never felt that the problem was great enough to quit. [26:25] Walk us through the 3 options you gave yourself after your DUI. Laying on the cot in jail, after just calling his wife who was driving all over Fort Wayne looking for him, he realized he had 3 options. He could run, he could figure out his life was meaningless, or he could get help. So he picked getting help. Getting to a meeting the next day and, if his wife didn't divorce him, he could live in his parent's guest bedroom until they figure it out. For 2 months after that he was going to AA meetings every day, making living amends to his wife every day, and going to work. On day 4 he found the Recovery Elevator podcast. [31:25] Talk to us about burning the ships with your mom, dad, and wife. His wife was pissed, his parents were in shock. He told them how he missed flights because of drinking, and how he needed to have a drink to help him sleep. His parents were in tears, but supportive. His wife told him that if he ever drank again, she was taking their daughter and would be gone. [33:37] How did it feel when you let your parents and your wife know what's going on with you? A small weight was lifted, but there was an extreme sense of guilt. It felt freeing but he also knew he had a lot of work to do. [34:45] Talk to us how the charges were dropped and then the bomb you got about the charges on January 31, 2019. He appeared in court, expecting the worst, and was told 'case dismissed'. That was not one of the options he was prepared for. His attorney told him to go live his life. His new life was to not touch alcohol, continue with his sobriety and his meetings, and that's what he did. Sometime later he got a call from a friend, who is an attorney, that infored him that his case was back up. His case had been refiled. He was booked, back in and out of jail, sober this time. He was ready to accept responsibility. He called his employer and told t

Libby, with 112 days of sobriety, shares her story. Paul talks about a trend he noticed in the airport bookstore. Amongst the '20 best sellers' there were several books with clear, unambiguous titles. Our society is collectively starting to wake up and are looking for ways to unf*ck ourselves. He says that all of these books, including the one he is currently writing, are not fulfilling a trend or a niche, but that it's a movement. https://newrepublic.com/article/153153/age-anxiety Paul recently read an article titled the Age of Anxiety in the New Republic, According to studies by the National Institute of Mental Health, nearly 20 percent of Americans experience an anxiety disorder in a given year; over 30 percent experience an anxiety disorder over the course of their lifetimes. And the rate is rising: The American Psychiatric Association, in a May study drawing from a survey of 1,000 American adults, diagnosed a statistically significant increase in national anxiety since 2017. But listeners listen closely, there is nothing fundamentally wrong with you. Never has been, never will be. This anxiety is a good thing. This collective state of unrest will eventually show us the way. This jittery national mood has given rise to what Rebecca Jennings at Vox has dubbed "anxiety consumerism"—the rise of a plethora of products, from fidget spinners to essential-oil sprays, to weighted blankets. Perhaps the most well-known product to fall into this anxiety consumerism category is alcohol. Those who struggle with addiction are the trailblazers in the collective unf*ck yourself movement. Not just for those who grapple with addiction to alcohol, but for everyone. SHOW NOTES [7:15] Libby how long have you been sober? She has been sober since October 23, 2018, giving her 112 days of sobriety. [7:40] In these last 112 days what is the biggest challenge you've encountered? She says that the cravings and the obsession to drink in the first couple months was definitely the toughest time. [9:00] Paul Introduces Libby. Libby is 32 years old and lives in Louisville, Kentucky. She is an interior designer and is currently waiting tables at night. She has been married for 5 years, has no kids, has a dog named Boomerang, and a cat named Brice. For fun she works out, does crafts, is decorating her house, and enjoys hiking when the weather is nice. [11:05] Give us a little background about your drinking. Libby had her first drink at 15 and throughout high school she drank on the weekends. By early 20s she was drinking daily, but still highly functional, holding two jobs. She was coasting by until 2017 when she got fired from a job. Libby says this is when her drinking 'got wheels'. [12:30] What led you to seeking out alcohol to alleviate the pain? She was fired suddenly, in a hateful way, and she had never gone through anything like that. She was devastated and started drinking all day. After a couple of weeks, she was experiencing morning tremors, or shakes, which she had never experienced before. By the end of 2017 she was drinking in the mornings just to function. During this time, she tried out AA a couple times and decided she just wasn't ready. [14:50] What was it like when you went to the AA meeting? Before going into her first AA meeting Libby had the shakes so bad that she had to have a shot of alcohol. She didn't really have any intention to stop drinking, she just wanted control over it. She wanted to stop drinking during the day and get control of her life again and just be a functional drinker. Fast forward to 2018 and she had managed to cut back on her drinking, only drinking at night. That lasted a couple months. In April 2018 she found herself drunk at work and went home and told her husband that she needed to get into a treatment program, that drinking had taken control again. The next day, after drinking, she tried to get into an inpatient treatment program. The first place turned her away because they didn't take her insurance, the second place allowed her to stay for 3 days for 'medical detox' and then released her due to her insurance as well. After being dry for 3 days she thought she had things under control, but she picked up right where she left off. [21:40] Take us through the next steps in your journey. Not having a day job Libby was able to drink all day. After about 2 weeks her husband, tired of coming home and finding her drunk on the couch, packed his bags and left. He called her best friend and told her that Libby was in trouble, but that he didn't know how to help her. Her best friend made some phone calls and found a free center, The Healing Place, that would take Libby. She stayed there for 4 days while she detoxed and went home. Back at home she stayed sober for 11 days and then again was right back to where she left off. After showing up at work drunk and hitting what Libby calls her first bottom, she went back to The Healing Place and stayed for 30 days. [26:35] Take us from when you got out after

Ashley, with 192 days of sobriety, shares her story. Paul talks about how alcohol is the invitation. What is this invitation? It's called addiction. Depending on how you RSVP you could have a life filled with infinite joy. The fact that you are listening to this podcast right now is a good clue as to how you're going to RSVP. At first the invitations may not show up with enough frequency to connect the dots. But, sooner or later, these invitations will start to show up more frequently, once a year, once every 6 months, once a week, once a day in every aspect of our lives. For many that struggle with addiction they ignore this invitation their entire lives and it is not pretty. If we stick to this long enough it will become clear that our addiction is the best thing that has happened for us. For those of you listening, you have earned your invitation. Keep in mind the pain and suffering required to initiate this positive change in behind you. This thing called life, if it hasn't already, is about to get good. So how will you RSVP to this invitation? SHOW NOTES [12:30] Paul Introduces Ashley. Ashley lives in Chicago, IL with her sister and their 2 dogs. She is single and is 31 years old. She recently finished cosmetology school and is currently an apprentice to become a hair stylist at a salon in the city. For fun Ashley likes to cook, enjoys music and going to concerts, power lifting, meditation, and is back playing soccer. [14:30] Give us a little background about your drinking. She was 13/14 years old the first time she got drunk, in her neighbors' basement. She remembers going home and telling her mom that she had been drinking, and that she got sick. During high school she hung out with a lot of different crowds so went to, and drank at, a lot of parties. She says she knew right away that she had a problem. From the moment she would start drinking she would fixate on how she could drink more. When she got into college, she hit the ground running with partying. She did a lot of partying and blacking out, had a lot of fun and didn't get into any sever trouble, which she says, she thinks is why she continued to drink like she did. In the back of her mind she was telling herself that once she was done with college things would change and she would grow up. After college she moved to Chicago and continued to drink on the weekends (Thursday-Sunday), which felt normal to her. When she was 25, she woke up one morning, grabbed her phone, and Googled "what is an alcoholic?". At 27, after a relationship that ended badly, she found herself in a super dark place. She was depressed, having panic attacks, eating disorder flair ups, drinking, and drugging. She managed to pull herself out of that dark place, and to prove to herself that she didn't have a problem she didn't drink for 30 days. [22:15] What was it like when you did prove it to yourself and not drink for 30 days? She felt she had it under control, although she continued to do drugs. Then she slowly started drinking again until she was drinking more than she was before the 30 days. She started blacking out every time she drank. After a really bad incident with her ex she walked into AA. She made it 65 days before she went back out for another year and ½. That year and ½ it got even worse, she was drinking hard and using a lot of drugs. On July 23, 2018 she came clean with her doctor and walked back into AA where she found an amazing group of women and her home group. [28:37] Comment a little more about honesty. Because of her issues with depression and anxiety her whole life she had been in/out of going to therapists. She said she always lied to them about her alcohol/drug use. After also being diagnosed bi-polar she knew she had to come clean with her doctors. [32:15] Why do you think you drank? She said that to begin with, alcoholism runs in her family. She wanted to escape from the feeling of having to micromanage her up/down feelings all the time and that unfortunately she thinks she was just made for it. [36:00] How did you do it? You talked about AA, what else did you do to get sober? She stopped going to the places where she always drank, like concerts and bars. She sought out a higher power. She started running. She made sure she got to her AA meetings and listened to the podcast, of course. [38:00] Tell us how you got through your week-long family reunion during the early days of your sobriety. With about a week of sobriety she tried to look at the trip as a way to take advantage of the beautiful nature, instead of a big party. She listened to podcasts and hiked. With only a week of sobriety she wasn't comfortable telling her family yet, and she was terrified of failing if she did. [42:15] After burning the ships on FB you mentioned you got reactions you didn't expect, what kind of reactions did you expect?? She thought that people really wouldn't care, or that they would think that it would change who she is. She didn't expect all the positive respo

Dr. Sue Morter, talks to us about how our bodies and minds have the capacity to heal themselves if we allow it. Registration is now live for the Recovery Elevator retreat in Bozeman, Montana this upcoming August. You can find more information about this event here Paul discusses addiction and how there are hundreds of definitions for what addiction is. He has covered several of them on this podcast already, and covers many more in the book that he is currently writing. Some definitions are scientific. Some are psychological. Some explain the disease theory. He brings up another definition that, in his opinion, may be the simplest and most accurate. Paul suggests that addiction(s) are nothing more than signposts in life. Addictions are nudges from the body, your internal and external environments, that signify that a change needs to occur. Many people struggling with addiction ignore these internal and external cues their entire lives, and this gets ugly. There are signposts everywhere in life. Paul's advice? Get out of the way and let life happen. The content that Dr. Sue Morter writes about in her book, The Energy Codes, which was released about a week ago, is profound. (You can find the link here .) She explains through quantum science how we can use our own energies to heal ourselves if we let it happen. Be prepared to have your mind blown. SHOW NOTES [7:44] Paul Introduces Dr. Sue. Dr. Sue is an international speaker, master of bioenergetic medicine, and a quantum field visionary. She explains how quantum science and spirituality are speaking the same language. Dr. Sue redirects the flow of energy patterns in the body to activate full human potential. Through her presentations, seminars, retreats, which Paul attended one this past February in Colorado, and her book The Energy Codes, Dr. Sue illuminates the relationship of quantum science and energy medicine, as well as the elevation of human consciousness and life mastery. In the book The Energy Codes, and at her retreats and conferences, she teaches individuals how to clear subconscious memory blockages. [9:45] What is addiction? What causes it, and can it be overcome Dr. Sue? Dr. Sue is about the flow of energy in the body. If the energy is flowing in the body then the body is healing itself. What happens with addiction is that there are sets of circuits that are supposed to be connecting our enteric system, meaning our digestive, hormonal, and chemical balance system, with our heart, with our mind. We're supposed to be one big communication system, everything having a check and balance on everything else. What happens is we have a tendency to kind of land and splat when we get here. We land in this life and our mind goes one way, our body goes another way, and our breath goes another way, and we're kind of not operating on all of our cylinders because of that. Addiction happens when we bypass certain aspects of our own personal power, and we reach outwardly for some kind of reassurance, whether it's an addiction to an emotion, an addiction to needing to know the future, or to control things, an addiction then later turns into chemical addiction, substance abuse, those kinds of things. [13:08] What do you feel about addictions, and can we overcome them? She says we can absolutely overcome them. In fact, she feels that they are in place to reveal to us where we are here to evolve. We come into this life for a reason, and the addiction itself shows up in a certain pattern. Dr. Sue says it's an avenue to our wholeness, not a problem. It's just a very intense solution. [14:37] Earlier I talked about addiction being a signpost, almost an invitation of where to go next in life, and that many of us miss this. Can you comment on that a little bit? We miss the lamp post, the light house, because we're so consumed in guilt, and shame, and fear because we start to observe our addictive patterns, and we start to try to outrun them even faster because we are afraid that something is inherently wrong. That whole sensation is generated because the mind is not connected to the rest of who we are. When we do see the light post, the sign post, everything shifts. When we don't see it it's because we haven't created enough of a vibrational frequency to get the mind's attention yet. [17:16] Talk to us about how disconnection can lead to addiction. When we land and we splat, we come up from the splat attached to the mind. We are attached to the mind. It's important to realize that we are not the mind. We have a mind, but we are so infused and inter-meshed with it that we think it's who we are. Bear in mind that the mind is based in duality, and the mind's job is to separate things, to see the differences, to make distinctions. If we're attached to the mind, we inherently feel different and distinct from other things. When we're attached to the heart, or to the soul, or to the truth of who we are, our true essential selves, we are connected, vibrationally speaking, to natur

Mina, with a sobriety date of May 30, 2017, shares his story. You can sign up for a FREE 5-day Recovery Elevator video course here. Paul discusses the most controversial word he has encountered in AA. The word is recovered, as in your addiction to alcohol is behind you. Although recovered is mentioned in the books of AA, after Paul said the word in an AA meeting, he noticed a shift in the energy in the room. Ty (who has been editing the podcasts for over 150 episodes straight…Thank you Ty!), found the word recovered mentioned over 20 times in The Big Book and the Twelve and Twelve. So why is the word recovered so controversial? Is recovered even such a thing? SHOW NOTES [10:30] Paul Introduces Mina. Mina with a sobriety date of May 30, 2017, is 37 years old and is from Stockholm, Sweden. He is single and has no children. He is a software engineer. For fun Mina likes to read, visit museums and exhibitions, and spend time in libraries. [12:20] Give us a little background about your drinking. Mina had his first real drink at the age of 17, it was his first high school party and the first time he blacked out. From 17 to 25 he was drinking hard. He was drinking on his own, drinking Friday to Monday. During those years he didn't really mix drinks, he would have a couple beers and go straight to vodka or tequila. After a couple years it was just bottles of vodka or tequila, and he was drinking alone. After a humiliating experience in 2003 he tried to regulate his drinking for the next 3 years, which did not go well. In 2007 he decided to move back to South Africa, where his parents were living. Before leaving his friends threw him a going away party, which ended with Mina waking up in a hospital emergency room and not knowing how he got there. For the first time he realized he had a drinking problem. The next 11 years he says he was a textbook dry drunk. On May 29, 2017 Mina had his last drink. The following day he walked into an AA meeting, was done fighting, and introduced himself as an alcoholic. [28:22] How did it feel when you said you were an alcoholic? The word itself wasn't that difficult. But saying it in front of a group of people, who then clapped, gave him a sense of relief and he started crying. [32:45] You mentioned that you had the shakes for two weeks after your last day of drinking, what is your take on that? He says he doesn't even remember those first two weeks. He knows he called his AA sponsor a couple times, he took a couple days off work, and that he was doing things to take care of himself. [35:20] What kept you going during those first two miserable weeks? He knew he was going to die if he drank again. [36:30] What are some of the lessons you learned in the first 30 to 60 days? In the first 30 days he had to learn how to be honest about everything. In the first 60 days he had to learn how to trust other people. Both of these were incredibly hard to do. [39:48] Share with me how important it is to bring other people on in your recovery. Mina started telling his closest friends during the time he started to do his amends (AA step 9). Most of his friends were in shock because he was so good a lying that they had no idea he had a drinking problem. The friendships became closer after he told them. [41:30] Why do you think you drank? There are several reasons. He drank to feel normal and it helped him to socialize. When he drank alone drinking was the elixir for everything that was wrong. He drank because he wanted to die. [43:50] Is there anything you would have done differently when getting sober? Mina says he would have listened to his sponsor regarding dating. [46:00] Rapid Fire Round What is your plan in sobriety moving forward? More spirituality, more service, and working on myself in terms of projects I never did because I was drunk. What are some of your favorite resources in recovery? The practice of meditation I one. Music is another resource. The third resource is to really work on some deeper issues. In regards to sobriety, what is the best advice you've ever received? Do you want to be right, or do you want to be at peace? What parting piece of guidance do you want to give to listeners? Choose yourself today. You might be an alcoholic if... You wake up in your own piss and shit after a hard night drinking. Upcoming retreats: Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019 Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020 You can find more information about these events here Resources mentioned in this episode: Blinkist This episode is brought to you in support by Blinkist. Right now, my listeners can try Blinkist for free. Visit blinkist.com/elevator for your seven-day free trial. Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out."

Tricia, with a sobriety date of November 14, 2016, shares her story. Sometimes we reach a moment in our journey where we say, "what's next?". Paul discusses what he would recommend when you reach this moment. Do not go 'seeking', that reinforces a mind state that we are lacking something. Instead, listen to the body. The body is going to tell you where to go next. SHOW NOTES [7:30] Paul Introduces Tricia. Tricia with a sobriety date of November 14, 2016, is 37 years old and lives in Dallas, TX. Tricia is a chef by trade, a business owner, and has a few side hustles. She is divorced and does not have kids, but has a 'manfriend'. For fun Tricia likes to do crafts and puzzles, and enjoys live music. [8:40] Give us a little background about your drinking. Tricia grew up around alcoholism and addiction. She had her first drink at 16 years old, getting drunk at a party to get back at a boy who had hurt her. She says she always drank to get drunk. Blackouts started in her early twenties and she started to try to moderate by her mid-twenties. Tricia was always a high achiever and she soon became a high achieving, high functioning, alcoholic. The hard part was coming to terms with the fact that she had a problem when she was sure everything looked fine from the outside. [15:10] Did you have a rock bottom moment, or was it an accumulation of many moments? Her drinking took a turn for the worse when she got divorced at the age of 34. She was blacking out every time she drank, waking up with injuries and didn't know where they came from. Tricia says at a certain point you can no longer negotiate with alcohol. After a 3-day physical detox she decided to keep the dry spell going. [20:22] Why do you think it's so hard to quit drinking? We love to get in our own way. Alcohol is highly addictive. Our egos get in the way. [26:16] What got you from the beginning of your sobriety to where you are now? First and foremost, she had an open mind. Tricia stopped doing what she wanted to do and started doing what other people told her she should do…and she tried everything. She started attending AA regularly. She was open and honest, and she started doing the things that were uncomfortable. [30:20] Is RECOVERED a thing? She says it depends. In Tricia's opinion, alcoholism isn't about the alcohol it is about the stuff you are drinking over. She says you (she) can be recovered from the alcoholism while at the same time not be recovered from the stuff you (she) drank over. [34:00] With 2 years and 3 months, what are you working on in your recovery now? She says she's in some transition right now. Being patient with the things that are out of her control is something she is working on, on a personal level. She is also trying to bring more sober events to the forefront, such as the Sober by Southwest event she is bringing to Austin, TX on March 16th. [40:00] Paul and Tricia talk about the RE events and her podcast, Recovery Happy Hour. [46:00] What are some themes you are seeing in your podcasts? Grey area drinking is a big one. People are over the label 'alcoholic'. Sober dating is another one. [53:00] Paul and Tricia talk about how things have changed since the beginning of their sobriety to now. [56:20] Rapid Fire Round What parting piece of guidance would you give to listeners? You do not need to be an alcoholic to decide to change your relationship with alcohol. You might be an alcoholic if... You wake up and you plan your entire day around accommodating your drinking or your hangover. Upcoming retreats: Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019 Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020 You can find more information about these events here Resources mentioned in this episode: Robinhood This episode is brought to you in support by Robinhood. Right now, Robinhood is giving my listeners free stock such as Apple, Ford or Sprint to help build your portfolio. Signup at elevator.robinhood.com Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside."

Steven, with a sobriety date of August 7, 2016, shares his story. Registration for the Bozeman, Montana Retreat opened up this past Friday. Space is limited for this retreat. You can find more information about events here Internet memes…a picture, coupled with a few short words, can spread powerful messages. Paul describes one he saw the other day. It was an old school telephone with the words, "when the phone was attached with a wire humans were free". Paul encourages listeners to put their phone down for a couple of hours each day. Paul talks about courage. Courage is being OK with not knowing what is happening next. We don't know what's going to happen when we quit drinking. This can be frightening. In recovery we don't need to be at level 10 courageousness at all times. Paul's advice is to listen to your body, it will tell you when it's time to be courageous or time to go a little slower. SHOW NOTES [7:36] Paul Introduces Steven. Steven, with a sobriety date of August 7, 2016, is 30 years old and is from Bakersfield, CA. He works for a utility company. He has a beautiful girlfriend. Steven has always enjoyed outdoor activities and since being sober he has added reading and meditation to his list of things he enjoys. [10:00] Give us a little background about your drinking. Steven had his first few beers at the age of 13, but didn't start drinking heavily until his senior year of high school when he started binge drinking on the weekends. That mind-altering feeling, that that first drink at the age of 13 gave him, filled a void that he always felt he had. Steven was kicked out at 18 and got his first DUI/wreck at 19. He continued to drink and 8 yrs. later he got his 2nd DUI with a BAC of .29. This 2nd DUI was an eye opener for Steven, and walking out of jail after it he decided to take a break from alcohol…that was August 7, 2016. [18:30] What would you say to listeners that are trying to "think their way" through sobriety? He would tell them it's not going to happen. [21:22] Walk us through what happened when you walked out of jail on August 7, 2016. The first few weeks were tough. Nobody knew about his 2nd DUI because he was too embarrassed to tell anyone. For a few months he went into hibernation mode, only going from home, to work, and back home. He met, and started dating a girl at about the 4th month mark and that lasted until he had a year of sobriety. That breakup did not go well and he started obsessing about drinking again. He went as far as pouring himself a glass of Jack Daniels, but because he had a healthy fear of alcohol, he played the tape forward and called a sober friend instead of drinking it. The next night he went to his first AA meeting and has continued to go ever since. [26:10] Talk to us about your experience with AA. Because Steven's mom was in NA he knew that there was something out there that could help. He didn't know what to expect when he walked into his first meeting, but he knew he needed some help staying sober. When he left that first meeting he wasn't sure if he would go back. A man at the meeting followed Steven outside to talk to him and invited him to a meeting the following night. That man became Steven's sponsor. He had a willingness and felt hope in the rooms of AA. [35:54] Are you open about the fact that you are in recovery? At first he wasn't, he was still worried about being judged. After 6 months of AA he realized that he shouldn't be ashamed of this part of his life. He is now very open about it and feels that that helps him. He also hopes that by being open about it he will be able to help others. [38:20] What is on your bucket list in sobriety? He just wants to live the best life he can live. He wants to get out there and travel the world and be able to remember it. [40:30] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Waking up out of a blackout after I wrapped my truck around a power pole, took out a tree, a no parking sign, and went through a brick wall. Apart from AA what are some other resources you can recommend? The book This Naked Mind, the Recovery Elevator podcast and other podcasts. In regards to sobriety what is the best advice you have ever received? A lady once told me, "everything is going to be OK and you never have to drink again if you don't want to," and that just burned in my brain. What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners? Get honest with yourself and give yourself a chance to be that person that has been locked up inside of you all this time. You might be an alcoholic if... You wake up 2 hours from your hometown, at a train station, you don't have the slightest clue how you got there, with a massive headache, a massive hangover, and without a shirt. Upcoming retreats: Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019 Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020 You can find more information about these events here Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Juan, with a sobriety date of May 29, 2018, shares his story. Congratulations to Kirk S. in Florida for hitting 1 year of sobriety. This Friday, March 1st, registration for the Recovery Elevator Retreat in Bozeman goes live. Space is limited for this retreat. You can find more information about events here After the interview with Juan, Paul will discuss detoxing from alcohol and how dangerous it can be. Paul talks about cravings. What they are, what they represent, and what to do when we experience them. Also, are all cravings the same? In simple form, a craving is a desire to regulate our inner state with an external substance or behavior. SHOW NOTES [9:25] Paul Introduces Bill. Juan, with a sobriety date of May 29, 2018, is 32 years old and is from Los Angeles, CA. He is a personal assistant, and single. For fun Juan likes to play music (he is in a band), go to the movies, hike, workout. [10:25] Give us a little background about your drinking. Juan started drinking at the age of 19 to 'fit in'. He had recently come out as a gay man and drinking helped him feel more confident and comfortable in his own skin. Touring with his band all over the country and world, drinking was the way he got rid of his performance anxiety. Around age 25 things started to get messy. Towards the end of his drinking his anxiety was through the roof. [13:25] Tell us more about your anxiety. At first drinking would calm his anxiety, but once he 'went over the threshold' he would start to get paranoid. The worst part was the fear he would have when waking up in the morning. His self-esteem was at an all time low. In May of 2017 Juan hit this internal rock bottom, got into a horrible physical altercation with a friend and knew something had to change. [18:35] Walk us through what happened after May 27, 2107. He went through a 'dry drunk' stage. He just stopped drinking, started avoiding going out, avoiding certain people and situations. It wasn't easy and he was not feeling the benefits right away. He felt like he was on a diet and depriving himself. He did this for about 4 months and then felt like his relationship with alcohol had changed, and he decided to drink again. By his birthday in February his drinking was back to where it was when he quit. [22:15] Continue from where you are back to drinking and your anxiety is back. On May 28, 2018 he decided to try sobriety again. This time he would do it differently. He started to read books and watch movies about alcoholism. After about a month and a half, and at a friend's suggestion, he went to his first AA meeting. Although he was nervous and uncomfortable, he immediately felt like he found what he needed. He got a sponsor and attends about 4 meetings a week. [25:20] Tell us about your first AA meeting. His first meeting was very small and intimate. It was a lot to take in and he left thinking he would go back, but still feeling confused. He continued going once a week for a while, ducking in and out, until it felt more comfortable. [26:40] What advice do have for someone that is saying there is no way they could go to AA? If you are open and ready AA can work for you. [29:10] Walk us through a typical day in your recovery. Juan wakes up earlier, prays, makes a gratitude list, goes to work, 4 evenings a week he catches an AA meeting. Everyday in sobriety is different but he tries to something of service for someone every day. He always tries to keep connection with someone throughout the day. [31:40] What has been the biggest hurdle you have had to overcome in the past 7 ½ months? It has been in just that last few weeks, he is transitioning out of his job that he has had the 9 years. It's the first time in 9 years he is unsure about where he will be working. Although it is a scary time for Juan, he feels a lot calmer than he thought he would and is taking it one day at a time. He doesn't think he would've been able to handle this situation before sobriety. [35:05] What was harder, coming out of the closet as a gay man, or coming out of the closet as an alcoholic? Definitely coming out of the closet as an alcoholic. [37:15] What is it like playing music and being on stage in sobriety? At first it was difficult because of stage fright. But now being nervous and being in the moment is a good thing. [40:08] What have you learned about yourself in this journey? He is more confident and enjoys people more. [41:15] Rapid Fire Round What is your favorite guitar rift to play? The intro rift in Smashing Pumpkin's - Today What was your worst memory from drinking? The fight he got into with his friend. Did you have an 'oh-shit' moment? Coming home with friends in an Uber and feeling so alone and desperate. What is your plane moving forward? Continuing with his step work, finding new sober friends and hopefully finding a whole new career. What is your favorite resource in recovery? AA is the go-to for me. Regarding sobriety, what is the best advice you have ever received? Letting go of control

Bill, with a sobriety date of October 8, 2018, shares her story. We want to thank Mike Noll for his commitment to doing the podcast show notes for the previous 35 episodes and welcome Kerri, from California, to the position, who will take over doing the next 26 episodes. We still have a couple spots left for our Nashville event coming up this February 22 – 24. Registration for Bozeman Retreat will open up on March 1, and registration for our Asia Adventure will open up on July 1. You can find more information about events here Paul shares the news he is writing a book, which he hopes to launch by July 1. As that date gets closer, he will be asking for volunteers to be part of the launch team so be on the lookout for that opportunity if that is something you would like to be a part of. After doing something long enough some trends start to appear. In Ep. 52, after 1 year of podcasting, Paul did a summery of what he learned during the 1st year. In this episode he will cover the 4 themes that people successful in sobriety have fully embraced. Community Accountability Thinking Trust SHOW NOTES [10:15] Paul Introduces Bill. Bill, with a sobriety date of October 8, 2018, is 49 years old and is from northern New Jersey. He does investment research for an insurance company. Bill has been married for a little over 20 years and has two kids. Bill finds fun in outdoor activities such as camping and fishing. [12:56] Give us a little background about your drinking. Bill started drinking at an early age and drank all throughout college and through his 20s. He got married, finished grad school, their daughter was born, and things seemed fine. Although he was drinking during this time there was nothing significant that made him feel as if he had an alcohol problem. His son was born in 2005 and there were complications. They soon realized his son was not meeting his milestones or developing like their daughter had. When his son was 14/15 mos. old, after watching a Home Improvement episode about a family with 4 autistic children, they just knew what their son's problem was. The day that the doctor confirmed their fears is the day that Tom feels he became an alcoholic. That was in 2006 and when the progression started. [18:53] When did you decide you needed to evaluate your alcohol consumption? Things started to unravel for Bill in April of 2017. After a mini-breakdown and a call to a sister, who called their father, an intervention was set up. He started seeing a counselor who was the only person he was honest with, including himself. At this time, he was not drinking, but white knuckling it. By May he was drinking again. He tried moderation and no matter what he tried it always failed. Fast forward to October 8, 2018, at the gym Bill pulls up podcasts, types in alcohol addiction and finds the RE podcast for the first time. [29:30] When did you finally get honest with yourself? The point of surrender was driving home the evening of Sunday, October 7th. He finally said he had had enough. [32:34] Who are the first 3 people you "burned the ships" with? The first person he told was his best friend. The second person he told was his cousin, who actually confronted him about his drinking. The third person was the most difficult. That was his wife and that was just two weeks ago. [38:36] Back to October 8, what were the things you put in place to get you to 90 days? The first few weeks he broke his days into 3 parts, the mornings, the afternoons, and the evenings. All he was wanting to do was make it through the day to make it to bed. The biggest differentiator is instead of pushing the cravings away he acknowledges them. [43:00] Talk to us about the progress you have made in accepting your son for who he is. He has gone from the feelings knowing that his son wasn't going to be the baseball star to now recognizing the potential he does have. His son has made great strides. He tries to live in the present and not look too far into the future and celebrates his son's accomplishments daily. [46:00] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? When his daughter wanted to watch the first Star Wars with him one Sunday night and he drank so many Vodka Cranberries during the day that he got violently ill after the 1st five minutes of the movie. Did you have an "Ah-Ha" moment? The mini-breakdown I had in April 2017. What is your plan moving forward? Reminding myself that I need to make progress each week and I can't be complacent. What is your favorite resource in recovery? Recovery Elevator podcasts. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Burn the ships. What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners? Alcohol is but a symptom. You might be an alcoholic if... Your 14 year old daughter says to you, at 10:45 in the morning, "Hey Dad, aren't ya hitting the bottle a little too early?", and you simply ignore her and walk away with the glass of wine in your hand. Upcoming retreats: Bozeman Retreat – Augus

Crystal, with 84 days of sobriety, shares her story. This is a special podcast episode! It marks 4 consecutive years of podcasting…208 straight Mondays in a row. Paul talks about how Recovery Elevator and the RE community has saved his life, and shares ways we can all help others stop drinking. SHOW NOTES [11:00] Paul Introduces Crystal. Crystal has been sober for 84 days and lives in San Antonio, Texas. She is a life style/transformation coach. She is 30 years old and recently single. For fun Crystal likes to workout. [12:56] Give us a little background about your drinking. Crystal considered herself a binge drinker. She tried to moderate her drinking by only drinking on the weekends, as her drinking was starting to affect her work and relationships, but that led to going hard core on the weekends. [15:00] When did you first realize you had a problem with alcohol? That was a couple of years ago when she realized she didn't drink like other people. She always wanted more to drink, always wanting to be buzzed or drunk. One drink was never enough. It was in 2018 that she realized that she really had to make a change. [19:38] You started your sobriety journey in January 2018, walk us through that. She became sober curious in January 2018, but feels like it didn't stick at that time because she wasn't doing it entirely for herself. She was sober for a few months but eventually lost her "why" and fell back into her old habits. There was a moment in 2018 that she felt like she had no control and that was a scary moment for her. [21:33] Do you feel like there were times in the last year that you were running on willpower alone? She definitely thinks it was on willpower alone and was trying to do it on her own. [24:04] You mentioned when you first got sober you didn't think of it in terms of being sober the rest of your life, talk about that. She thought it was going to only be a temporary thing and that she would learn how to moderate it. She realized that she couldn't moderate it, that only having a one or two drinks would never be enough. [26:13] What did you change 84 days ago? The first couple weeks were difficult for her. She got connected with friends at church and let her family know. She shifted her focus and became really honest with herself. [30:11] What have you learned about yourself in these last 87 days? She learned she could have a personality without being drunk. She learned that she could have fun and accomplish a lot more without being drunk. [31:48] Why do you think you drank? She thinks she started drinking because it gave her liquid courage in the social scene and then it just turned into a habit. She feels it was a coping mechanism this last year as she was dealing with her breakup. [33:43] Walk us through a typical day in your sobriety. Working with her clients daily helps her as well. Working out, meditating, staying in the Word, staying connected helps her on a daily basis. [39:20] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? The moment when she realized she could not control her drinking. Tell us about a time when you could not control your drinking. Just having the feeling that she couldn't stop was definitely her A-ha moment that she realized that she needed to make a big change. What is it like being 30 and getting sober? It's a challenge but what she has found that helps her is connecting with other sober people. What is your favorite resource in recovery? The community aspect, podcasts like Recovery Elevator, filling my mind with positivity and being around like minded people. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Being reminded that her feelings were valid, and so is her story. What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners? Stay connected, embrace the journey, and know that there are going to be good days and bad days. Know that being sober is not weird. You might be an alcoholic if... You're downloading multiple sobriety trackers trying to decide which one works best for you. Upcoming retreats: Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019 Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020 You can find more information about these events here This episode is brought to you in support by Robinhood. Right now, Robinhood is giving my listeners free stock such as Apple, Ford or Sprint to help build your portfolio. Signup at elevator.robinhood.com Resources mentioned in this episode: Robinhood This episode is brought to you in support by Robinhood. Right now, Robinhood is giving my listeners free stock such as Apple, Ford or Sprint to help build your portfolio. Signup at elevator.robinhood.com Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside."

Tom, with a sobriety date of June 6, 2018, shares his story. Events – I am excited about the upcoming events for Recovery Elevator. As already mentioned on the podcast we have Nashville on Saturday, February 23rd. We also have the Bozeman Retreat from Aug 14-18th. The Bozeman Retreat was a huge hit in 2017 and it is back on the calendar for this year. Guys, what I am particularly excited about these days is sober travel. We are putting together the sober travel itineraries and the next one we are doing is an Asia trip in late January 2020. This will be a 12 day trip, flying into Bangkok, Thailand and then making our way over to Siem Reap, Cambodia where we will make our departure. Experiencing the culture, service work, and recovery workshops will all be a part of this trip. You can find more information about all these events at recoveryelevator.com/events. We've all heard of FOMO, or the Fear Of Missing Out. Today I want to talk to you about JOMO – the Joy Of Missing Out. The Joy Of Missing Out is the emotionally intelligent antidote to FOMO, and is essentially about being present and content where you are at this moment in life. Instead of constantly trying to keep up with the Jones', JOMO allows us to be who we are in the present moment, which is the secret to finding happiness. At the end of the episode I have a bunch of "You might be an alcoholic if…" lines. Listeners I would love to hear your own "You might be an alcoholic if" lines. Email them to [email protected] and put YMBAAI in the subject line. SHOW NOTES [6:55] Paul Introduces Tom. Tom, who considered himself a high-functioning alcoholic, is 50 years old, lives in Seattle, Washington, and has a sobriety date of 6/4/18. He is married, has two children, and a pug named Violet. He works in the high tech field. [10:30] Give us a little background about your drinking. He had his first drink when he was 14, and although he didn't really like it his friends were doing it, so he kept doing it. Drank a lot in high school, it was almost like a sport. The first 10-15 years he feels he was a regular drinker, that he could take it, or leave it. He began binge drinking in college. The last 20 years he was drinking every day, but didn't think he had a problem. [16:50] When did you know that something was not right with your drinking? That started about 2 years ago when he started getting numbness in his fingers, enough times that he went to the doctor about it. The doctor asked him what his drinking was like. About a year ago he had a major stressor in his life and the way he dealt with it was by drinking. Up until that point he always thought he drank for relaxation. [24:30] Walk us through your early part of sobriety. Tom says the first 4-5 were hard and talked about the drinking dreams he had. He changed his whole routine and became what he called a "sobriety savage". He attends AA at least once a week but is not sure it is something he wants to continue to do for the rest of his life. [35:25] What have you learned most about yourself in these past 7 months? That you are never too far gone. [38:50] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? When he went on a church camping trip and he got so drunk that he packed up the family early and snuck away the next morning. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? He had never told anyone this; about a year ago he went out driving at 3:00 AM and was driving in a manner that he was basically putting his life in God's hands. He spun out, the car stopped, and he finally came to his senses and balled like a baby. What's your plan in sobriety moving forward? Keep it simple. Live in the moment. Continue going to AA. Really connect with people. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? His son telling him to go to AA. What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners? Do what you need to do to keep yourself sober and keep yourself safe. You don't need to know everything at that moment. You might be an alcoholic if... You can't recall which Netflix shows you have binged, or plan to binge, even as you are possibly watching them. Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

Dusty, with a sobriety date of 9/21/15, shares his story. On January 1st, I launched the 3rd private, unsearchable Facebook accountability group. All Café RE signups starting January 1st-January 31st will be placed in the new group. This group will be capped at 300 members to ensure intimacy. For the entire month of January, you can use the promo code 2019 for 75% off registration. If you're a Recovery Elevator podcast listener and you live in or close to the Nashville area, join us Saturday, February 23rd for Recovery Elevator LIVE in Nashville at 7 pm. Go to recoveryelevator.com for more info. I recently finished reading the book The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell. The book isn't specifically a recovery book, but some of the ideas and themes can be applied to getting sober and staying sober. When it comes to the journey into sobriety there are 2 tipping points I want to cover in this episode. The first one happens when you start to question whether alcohol is serving a positive purpose in your life and the second one occurs when you quit drinking. At the end of the episode I will talk about a third tipping point, one to avoid. SHOW NOTES [6:55] Paul Introduces Dusty. Dusty is 38 years old, lives in Bozeman, Montana, and has a sobriety date of 9/21/15, just over 39 months since his last drink. He is an accountant. He loves playing recreational sports, just started playing hockey this year, after learning how to skate. [10:30 ] Give us a little background about your drinking. He started drinking when he was in high school and fell in love with it. Same thing through college, but once he finished college that is when his drinking progressed. It was at this time drinking was no longer fun and started to get out of control. He was drinking alone in his apartment. [11:43 ] Did you ever try and put any rules into play, or try and quit? He would try and only drink on the weekends, try and cut out beer, try to regulate. It never worked. [15:01 ] What was your rock bottom, or your tipping point? After going on a 10 hour bender, watching college football one Saturday in the downtown bars of Bozeman he was informed the following day that he had kicked a girl that night before. He had no recollection of doing that. Running into the girl on Sunday and seeing the look on her face was his rock bottom. [24:52 ] How did you stay sober after the first month? He has a great group of friends that once he shared that he was an alcoholic they gave him 100% support. He also got really involved in the RE Facebook group. [30:35 ] Referring to the quote, "drinking is but a symptom", do you know why you drank? Probably genetically predisposed to it, it's on both sides of his family. And like he stated earlier, he started drinking for fun in high school and then it turned into more of pity drinking in his late 20s. [38:50 ] Rapid Fire Round True or False, love is the answer…and why? Absolutely! Love conquers all. What was your worst memory from drinking? After moving back from Kentucky he was living with his Mom for a couple of months. She came into his room asking if he was going to work and she screamed after discovering a puddle in the middle of his room. She blamed it on Buster the cat but he was sure it was from him. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Probably the look on Buster's face. What's your plan moving forward? Staying involved with the CaféRE community and creating those relationships. Going to Nashville. Getting out of his comfort zone. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Get some sober friends. You might be an alcoholic if... You pee on the floor in the middle of the night and blame it on your cat. Resources mentioned in this episode: This episode is brought to you in support by Blinkist. Right now, my listeners can try Blinkist for free. Visit blinkist.com/elevator for your seven day free trial. This episode is brought to you in support by ZipRecruiter. Right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free. Visit Ziprecruiter.com/elevator Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Kane, with 49 days of sobriety, shares his story. On January 1st, I launched the 3rd private, unsearchable Facebook accountability group. All Café RE signups starting January 1st-January 31st will be placed in the new group. This group will be capped at 300 members to ensure intimacy. For the entire month of January, you can use the promo code 2019 for 75% off registration. If you're a Recovery Elevator podcast listener and you live in or close to the Nashville area, join us Saturday, February 23rd for Recovery Elevator LIVE in Nashville at 7 pm. Go to recoveryelevator.com for more info. Recover Who We Were Meant To Be Tony Robbins and Russell Brand recently did a podcast titled Recover Your True Self. In this episode there are two value bombs I want to talk about. The first is Russell Brand's definition of recovery, and the other is his idea of the main intention of the 12 steps. At the end of the episode, I share a story about letting go. SHOW NOTES [6:49 ] Paul introduces Kane Kane is 45, lives in Adelaide, Australia, and has 49 days of sobriety. He is a government worker. He loves hiking and doing yoga in the mornings. He is also a birdwatcher. He likes socializing, and has been doing more social events since he's been sober. [ 11:00 ] Give us a little background about your drinking. He started drinking in late high school, and quickly progressed to "drinking for drunkenness." In college, alcohol became an escape from "this busy brain." He surrounded himself with friends who drank like he did. [31:40 ] What does a typical day in your recovery look like? He gets up early, does yoga and goes to work. After work, he takes his dog Rusty for a walk, and spends time with his wife (without fighting). He has been surprised by how much he enjoys socializing in sobriety [40:39] What's on your bucket list in sobriety? First and foremost, to continue to improve his relationship with his family. He wants to keep expanding his honesty. He is looking forward to eventually getting a caravan (camper) and going on road trips with his wife, birdwatching along the way. He also looks forward to continuing having good times without alcohol. [44:00] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Not being as good a father as I thought I was. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Waking up after a blackout, and finding a misspelled note on his phone that he'd written to himself telling him where he'd parked his car after trying not to drive while drunk. What's your plan moving forward? Socializing, yoga, taking responsibility. What's your favorite resource in recovery? The Recovery Elevator Podcast. He also has gone to an AA meeting, and enjoyed it. Learning to be able to be honest with others about not drinking. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Asking "Is this working for me?" and if the answer is "no" change it. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Take responsibility for how you act. You might be an alcoholic if... you ask your mother for lift to your car, because you'd been drinking the night before. When you get to where you think you left your car, it's not there. You then remember that you'd driven it home drunk. You then ask your mother to drive you a little past your home where you had parked your car so your partner didn't know you'd driven home drunk. Resources mentioned in this episode: Tony Robbins and Russell Brand Podcast, Recover Your True Self: This episode is brought to you in support by Care/Of. For 25% off your first month of personalized Care/of vitamins, go to TakeCareOf.com and enter the promo code ELEVATOR "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Lucy, with 65 days of sobriety, shares her story. Do I need to avoid social situations where alcohol will be present? The answer is yes, then no, then yes. Sorry if that's confusing. I explain better in the episode. On January 1st, I launched the 3rd private, unsearchable Facebook accountability group. All Café RE signups starting January 1st-January 31st will be placed in the new group. This group will be capped at 300 members to ensure intimacy. For the entire month of January, you can use the promo code 2019 for 75% off registration. [8:40] Paul introduces Lucy Lucy, with 65 days of sobriety, lives in London England. She is a freelance makeup artist, which she loves doing. She is single, likes walking, hiking, cooking, and drawing. [11:30] Give us a little background about your drinking. Lucy had her first experience with alcohol at age 12. Her drinking kicked into full swing after she was 18, when she began working in bar and nightclubs. She feels that it was a very quick descent into binge drinking and blackouts. By the time she was 21 she found herself drinking alone more and more. She lost every bar job she had because she would not show up for work because she was hungover. [17:34] Lucy's first venture into sobriety. At age 26, after moving to London to be a full-time makeup artist, Lucy realized that she might lose the career she loved if she continued to drink. She tried AA, but it just didn't resonate with her. Within a year, after white knuckeling sobriety, she went back to drinking. [20:01] Her rock bottom. Lucy had a suicide attempt at age 30, which she feels was a cry for help. She regrets what she put her family through at that time. She then had a second try at sobriety, and found that she had a lot of anger and resentment toward drinkers. [23:40] Since then, Lucy has realized that each relapse has taught her something. She cannot moderate her drinking at all. [27:50} Did you attempt to moderate your drinking? Never doing shots. Having three blood alcohol calculators on her phone. Avoiding going out as much as possible. [44:28] What is your plan in sobriety moving forward? Not drinking, staying connected, putting sobriety first. [45:04] Rapid fire round. What is your worst memory from drinking? That night in the hospital after her suicide attempt. What was your "oh shit" moment? My 10th blackout in a row, and a four-day hangover. In regards to sobriety, what is the best advice you've ever received? Find your tribe. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners? Believe in yourself, you're stronger than you know. There's a way out for everyone. [46:45] You might be an alcoholic if . . . You factor in an extra 100 pounds ($150 US) for every time you go out drinking Because you never know in what part of the city you'll wake up, and you might need to call a cab. This episode is brought to you in support by Robinhood. Right now, Robinhood is giving my listeners free stock such as Apple, Ford or Sprint to help build your portfolio. Signup at elevator.robinhood.com

Jeff, with over 2 years since his last drink, shares his story… That could never happen… Analysis of the famed James Bond movies reveals that James Bond is a full-blown functioning alcoholic living on borrowed time. "There is strong and consistent evidence that James Bond has a chronic alcohol consumption problem at the severe end of the spectrum… His workplace, MI6, needs to become a more responsible employer and refer him to support services and change their corporate drinking culture." The amount of alcohol that James Bond is consuming in the films is enough to leave someone far too disabled to engage in any kind of crime fighting. SHOW NOTES [7:07] Paul Introduces Jeff. Jeff has been sober just over two years. He's 43 years old and lives near Denver, Colorado. He is married with one adult son. He and his wife enjoy Netflix, boating, and writing. He is the same guest as a previous guest, episode 104. He is a genetic researcher. He is extremely busy, with three jobs. He found that most people just drink in their downtime. He went from habitual drinking around age 34 to a downward spiral once his wife left him. There was a DUI, and a crash. It enabled him to reboot. [12:20] What happened during that five year period where you drank normally, but the obsession was still there? He was still micromanaging the quantities of alcohol that were available to him. He was constantly making sure that consuming alcohol was going to be part of the plan and available just in case. Even though he found like he had a new life, he included alcohol in his activities. [14:00] Did you try to moderate your drinking with rules? Definitely. Switching from hard alcohol to beer, or only on the weekends. They seemed to break all the time. Other parts of his life were great at the time. His step daughter had a stroke, but when those three days were up he craved alcohol. He realized he was using alcohol to take a break from difficult emotions and he figured out that he needed to try and find a better way. He realized that he wanted someone else to step in and help him control his drinking. He emptied a bottle and kept it around as a reminder of his efforts to get sober. He discussed it with his wife, and they had a great conversation. He's grateful that she met him in the middle of his struggle. She knew who he was and what he was dealing with. She agreed to get sober with him to help him along, even though she didn't have a problem. [22:50] How important is it to have your significant other or spouse on board with your decision to get sober? Incredibly important. There were times when he wanted to crack, but she was there to support him. They agreed to find alternative ways to get through the holidays, etc. It is better, to be honest than to be hiding it. [24:21] What is it like for you in the different stages of sobriety? In the first 90 days, everything is new. He binge listened to podcasts to help him rewire his thoughts. He spent the first six months just learning. In the first year, you are testing whether or not you can do things without drinking. He was surprised at how much his brain came back online. He found himself to be highly creative. Sobriety has been a surprise. The second year found him being a lot more available in his business. He found surprising success in his business. One never stops growing. He began to look at his priorities. He had to decide which areas of his life needed growth. The second year is way more empowering. You start hitting your stride and liking yourself more as a person. [33:06] What's the most challenging thing you've encountered in sobriety? The lake trip was the most challenging. He was isolated on a boat, and everyone was drunk. He would climb up to get cell reception and check in with his internet support group. He felt incredible when he made it through without drinking. [35:09] What's on your bucket list in sobriety? He's working on a book that involves sobriety. He wants to learn how to schedule unproductive time. He feels too busy. He feels like he's still learning. He isn't involved with formal recovery groups. He's still trying to explore the depths of who he is. [39:28] What are your thoughts on relapse? It's all an experiment. How would it feel to spend a long time away from alcohol? The results have been that sobriety is the way for him. He feels better, more empowered. [42:00] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Not officiating his friend's wedding. He was trying to prepare the wedding, and he was in a dark place and dreaded the whole process. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? What's your plan moving forward? He is excited to live one day at a time. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Recovery Elevator, and Cafe RE. They are his support group. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? "And remember, you don't drink anymore." What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting dr

Warren, with 48 hours since his last drink, shares his story… 12 reasons why sober is better: 1 - Look your best. 2 - Look and feel properly rested. 3 - Alcohol fixes things you didn't notice were broken. 4 - Make the most of your time. 5 - Build better relationships. The opposite of addiction is connection. 6 - More confidence. You can do anything you put your mind to. 7 - Less fear! 8 - Save your money. 9 - Be more present. 10 - Avoid unnecessary disasters. 11 - Create the future you want. 12 - Improved memory SHOW NOTES [8:20] Paul Introduces Warren. Warren is 40 years old, from Martinsville, Virginia, and has been sober for 48 hours. He's married with two children. He is the executive director of a domestic violence outreach program. He also owns a sound company. He enjoys fishing and camping, and the outdoors. He thinks you shouldn't always believe what you think. He's struggled with worrying about what other people think. [12:09] Give us a bit of background about you drinking. He started drinking relatively young. His parents both drank, and were very social. They were involved in politics. He and his cousin found some champagne and they drank until they blacked out. He always felt different from everybody else. When he put substances in his body, it made him feel right. So he would drink/use every chance he got. Once he had a son he began to drink heavily. He attempted to quit drinking. He was in a car accident. When he got out of the hospital, he began to drink again and also use other drugs. His gf/wife was fed up. He tried to quit cocaine, and it just made him drink more. One thanksgiving he woke up in his yard covered with blood (it was from a deer) and it freaked him out. He went into an outpatient program. They recommended AA. He got into it. He stopped going to meetings and started smoking pot. His wife left him and he tried to commit suicide. He went into another program. He decided to get back into AA. He got into another relationship with someone in AA, and it ended badly which made him stop going. He was in debt. After two hours of sobriety, he decided that he had it under control. He relapsed, and when he did it was as if he had never stopped. He felt like when he controlled his drinking, he didn't like it, and when he liked it he couldn't control it. [23:50] What's your plan for getting past it? To try and stay connected with people. He might go back to school. He wants to help people somehow. He studied social work, which paid but was a heavy responsibility. He recognizes that if he can't find balance he is at risk of losing his job. He's thought about getting back into AA again. He is worried about the stigma. He's worried about anonymity. [25:57] What are some lessons you have learned about yourself so far in this journey? He now believes that there is an all powerful god that cares about him. When he got to chapter 4 in the big book, he realized that his idea of a higher power wasn't helpful. He associated prayer with drinking. He needed to see that prayer can exist without drinking. [28:59] When you get cravings, what do you do? Right now he is trying to binge listen to the podcast. Helping other people stay sober helps him stay sober as well. There is no one correct answer. [30:47] What would you like to talk about right now? How blessed he's been since he started recovery. He's in a new world where he can help other people and even though he doesn't know the plan for his life, he's okay as long as he stays present and awake. He has learned that the problems arise when he thinks too much, or when he focuses on himself. As long as he is useful to other people, it's easier. [33:47] When are you going to get your help and how? He's been researching counselors in the area. He agrees that he needs to focus on helping himself help himself. He wants to relieve the pressure that he puts on himself. [36:22] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? The mornings when he would wake up and he would have no memories. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Gradual moments over the last 18 months or so. Watching the rules he set for himself continually break. When he realized the progression is real. What's your plan moving forward? To "Fill my bucket". To do what's best for me. One day at a time with no substances. What's your favorite resource in recovery? What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? You have got to take care of yourself. You can't help anybody else if you're all jacked up. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Don't wait too long. The longer you wait the harder it is to stop. Surround yourself with a community of people who are sober and will show you how it's done. You might be an alcoholic if… "You wake up naked in the living room and you're lying on the floor with no idea how you got there." Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPP

Jeff, with over 38 days since his last drink, shares his story… During this festive holiday season, we will, no doubt, we encouraged to drink at one point or another. We can't think ourselves out of long-term addiction, but in the moment, there are tools we can use to help gives us the ability to say no. Follow the drink, and play the tape forward. There is plenty of data behind us to help us make an informed decision. If I have this drink, what will happen? Remember why you quit in the first place and remember all of the positive benefits you have experienced from sobriety. We all know alcoholic beverages can pack in the calories, but does alcohol have any nutritional value? It's safe to say that a Twinkie has more nutritional value than any alcoholic beverage. By not drinking, you are not denying yourself of any vital nutrients. In fact, alcohol inhibits general digestion in a big way. SHOW NOTES [8:57] Paul Introduces Jeff. Jeff has been sober for 38 days. Jeff is 27 years old, from Quebec City, Canada. He has a corporate job and also works in digital marketing. He is trying to transition to doing his digital job full time. He owns a dog and enjoys sports and reading. [10:30] Give us a little background about your drinking. He started when he was 13 years old. He never felt in control. He was shy and insecure. Marijuana was his drug of choice for a long time. When he would try to quit smoking marijuana, he found himself drinking more. When he would travel for sports he would notice that eventually he would revert to the same substance abuse patterns. [13:10] Did you experience a rock bottom moment? Most recently, a few days before his quite date. He went to a bar with the intention of only having a few drinks but ended up staying the entire night, consuming many drinks and then driving home afterward. He feels that one can't quit until the subconscious figures out there is a problem. He needed to re-evaluate his relationship with alcohol. He started with a 30 day sobriety challenge. He recorded a video of himself to help remind him of why he was quitting. He watched a lot of sobriety videos on YouTube. [21:30] Did you follow a program for your 30 day sobriety challenge? Yes, he followed a program from James Swanick. He sets a daily reminder to help keep him grateful and motivated. [27:27] Elaborate more about the idea that sobriety has to be a choice for a better life. Make sure that you don't just stay home. Don't deprive yourself of pleasures. You need the brain to realize that it can be sober if all sets of circumstances. He went to a hypnotherapist. He convinced him that everything had to be a conscious choice, and that there were choices happening in his life that he didn't consider. He had to switch the words from "have to" to "choose to". [32:06] Have you had any cravings or challenges in early sobriety? He keeps listening to podcasts. He is doubling down on what is working. He is reminded of his gratitude and how much energy he has. He hasn't experienced any cravings. His toughest moment was during a doubt of depression caused by a relapse dream. He reached out to the Cafe RE community and got support right away. Just talking about helped him a lot. Cravings are normal and just talking about them will make them go away. [35:26] What is your plan in sobriety moving forward? He wants to execute his business ideas. He wants to share his story. He wants to help other people quit alcohol and drugs. He loves traveling and sports. Sobriety gives him the energy and emotional intelligence to reach his full potential. [36:48] What have you learned about yourself in the past 30 days? Being vulnerable is being courageous. He has tried to act tough in the past and now he realizes that reaching out and asking for help is the better path to take. This is what true courage is about. [38:25] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Just waking up so feeling so terrible and realizing that he could have lost everything. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? On his first day of sobriety, recording a video of why he wanted to quit, and the emotional outpouring that came with it. What's your plan moving forward? Keep doing what's working. He tries to keep his thinking positive so he doesn't look for something to help him cope with the pain that comes with negativity. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Cafe RE. He enjoys connecting with the community. Also sobriety videos on YouTube. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? To not associate with the word "alcoholic". He preferred to say that he was a sober person with a drinking problem. He's still understanding that he has an issue but it helps point him in the right direction. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Rewire your subconscious. Also stack your resources. Don't put all of your sobriety eggs in one resource basket. Create accountability. You

Walter, with 2½ years since his last drink, shares his story… The Cure to Addiction… Is it possible? Are we close to a cure? No. AA was founded in 1935, and since then we still don't know what causes it or how to treat it. A holistic cure will attack/treat the root causes. The Rat Park experiment by Bruce Alexander points to the conclusion that the causes of addiction are social and environmental, rather than genetics or chemical dependency. In the study, the addictive tendencies were eliminated when the stress was reduced and the environment changed. Johann Hari's Ted Talk says that the opposite of addiction isn't sobriety, it's connection. Addiction is not about the pleasurable effects of substances, rather it is a symptom of the user's inability to form deep connections with other human beings. The phenomena that is addiction will likely die out in a global community whose only borders are the sky. SHOW NOTES [16:19] Paul Introduces Walter. Walter is 47 years old, in Waco, TX. He's been sober for over two years. He works in real estate. He is divorced and has a son. He likes hiking, movies and reading. He feels more present with his son now that he is sober. His son had just turned 3 when his wife left. [19:22] Give us a little background about your drinking. He came from an alcoholic family. Both his dad and uncle both died from alcoholism. His mom got sober when he was 15, right around the time he started to drink. He was a binge drinker. He went to a party school in Colorado. He moved back in with his parents and began to drink alone. He drank his way through his 20's. In his 30's, he married his drinking partner. They had a child. She didn't want to be a mom. He wanted to clean up. They split. The first 90 days were tough. He also quit smoking. He relapsed but hasn't relapsed since then. He is now serious about sobriety. He's active in AA. He just went to Peru with Cafe RE. [25:15] At what point did your drinking partner relationship turn? They were a rebound relationship. They had a lot in common. She was a great adventure partner. They had a similar relationship with alcohol. They helped each other hide drinking from other people. He feels the presence of his son saved his life. [29:40] Did you try to moderate? Did you experience a rock bottom moment? He definitely tried to moderate. He always knew about recovery because of his mom. When he drank at a friend's house he woke up and realized he had a problem. He and his wife got divorced. They made it painless, and were both fair. They focused on their son and his needs. He's glad he didn't stay married to another alcoholic. [34:11] How did you know that this time would be different? Every previous time before this one, sobering up in a jail or spending time in a hospital, he always thought it was bad luck. He still felt in control. At first he went to AlAnon because he thought his wife was the one with the problem, then he realized that he was also an alcoholic. He came out to his mother and spilled everything to her. He needed to tell people he was an alcoholic. [37:45] What did early recovery look like for you? He didn't know of any other options other than AA, so he jumped in pretty quickly. He started to work the program, and he feels lucky that he has met some great people. Reconnecting with men in sobriety has been good. He has found hope and resilience. [40:49] What was the Peru trip like for you? It was an awesome opportunity on so many levels. He didn't really know most people when he arrived. He got to know everyone there a little bit at a time. It was not an easy hike but it was worth the trip. [45:48] What is your recovery like after 2 years? He is addressing his underlying fears that lead him to drinking. His feelings of not being good enough or not being loved. He still deals with a negative inner dialogue. He feels more self aware. His interactions with people have changed. He used to live for comedic validation. He's more accepting of himself and the present moment. [50:50] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Waking up in jail on his 5th wedding anniversary. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? drawing a blank What's your plan moving forward? Keep taking it one day at a time. Keep doing what's working. Keep looking for opportunities to be present for people. What's your favorite resource in recovery? AA, and sober traveling. He loves meeting like minded people. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Focus on what you can control. Accept what you can't. Know the difference. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? It's ok, just keep trying. When you're ready, it will happen. You don't have to hit bottom first. You might be an alcoholic if… "...if you get arrested on your 5th wedding anniversary." "...if you're using a fake ID to buy booze so you can drink by yourself before you've turned 21." Resources mentioned in this e

Asaph, with over 6 weeks since his last drink, shares his story… A link to the mentioned Russell Brand podcast episode with Gabor Maté. Gratitude, what is it good for?... everything. Gratitude is a topic that needs to be continually covered in recovery. It's a box in recovery that will never be checked, because it is ongoing. How do we create a mindset of appreciation? Apply some conscious attention to the things in your life that are there for you, whether it be people, or your left elbow. Don't take things or people for granted. Remove or avoid the sources of negativity in your life. Gratitude is good for our brains. It positively stimulates the hypothalamus. We can't function without grace. We are wired to be a grateful species. It's easy to be thankful for the good things in our lives, but what about the not so good times? Gratitude can help us get through life's challenges. In fact, we can even become thankful for them. Challenges and obstacles become our teachers and often send us on paths we wouldn't always go down on our own. We can, and must, find joy in everything. SHOW NOTES [11:58] Paul Introduces Asaph. Asaph is 37 years old from Windsor, Ontario. Sober for over 6 weeks. He was raised in a cult called "The Children of God". He lived in India, and had 5 children. He and the wife split, and that's when he began to drink heavily. He's a waiter, though he pursues art as a professional career. [16:15] Give us a little background about your drinking. He began to hit the bottle hard when his marriage fell apart. He was around age 31 when he had his first drink. He left the cult around 28. He remembers alcohol being a guide, allowing him to be himself. When he explored recovery, he learned that he had a lot in common with other people. He tried to moderate, etc. He would black out and swear that he would never drink again. He found himself going against his word. [23:13] Did you experience a rock bottom moment? He feels that he had many. He realized that rock bottom was a moment when one decides that enough is enough. [25:20] How did you finally end up quitting? His sister helped him sign up for rehab. She convinced him that he had a problem. He had many relapses. He realizes that he can learn from them. [30:30] What are some of the lessons you have learned in relapse? We need one person to be 100% vulnerable and honest with. He needed to get out of his own head a bit. He finds it spreads into other relationships as well. [32:45] What is a typical day in your recovery look like? He listens to recovery podcasts. He enjoys Cafe RE. He recognizes when he wants to feel isolated. His default setting is alone. He needs human contact to keep a more positive perspective. [35:51] Have you figured out why you drank? It was his default coping mechanism for everything. [37:10] What have you learned about yourself in recovery? His recovery is directly connected to his entering the public world. Drinking became the way he discovered the outside world. He wants to get his business up and running. He feels like he can do anything that he puts his mind to. [39:40] Have you had any cravings and what do you if they appear? He believes cravings don't last more than 20 minutes. They used to paralyze him because he thought they were forever. [40:50] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Woke up half drunk and he knew that he was powerless to a bottle of vodka by his bed. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? When he lost his driver's license. He looked back in hindsight and he realized that something worse could have happened. The moment was gradual. What's your plan moving forward? He will continue to do what works. He uses Cafe RE. He wants to surround himself with people and books that continue to inspire him. What's your favorite resource in recovery? A million little pieces by James Grace. Black Castle. My Fair Junkie. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? The idea that you can put the shovel down whenever you want to. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? If you relate to a lot of the bullet points when you google what a alcoholism is like, you probably have a drinking problem. You might be an alcoholic if… ".. you are drinking in the middle of the night because you feel you can't go without it." Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Russell Brand Podcast - the mentioned episode with Gabor Maté Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Patrick, with 10 years 2 months since his last drink, shares his story. SHOW NOTES [10:50] Paul introduces Patrick Patrick is 37 years old, and is from Brooklyn, New York. He's been sober since August 23, 2008. He is married and has no children. He works as a stand up comedian, recovery coach, and a video editor. He likes to try to squeeze in a good meal between shows, visit friends, and snowboard. He would like to get better at rollerblading. [14:08] Give us a little background about your drinking habits He did not drink until his freshman year in college, because he has a family history of alcohol abuse. When he tried alcohol for the first time, he loved the way it made him feel. Alcohol became problematic within his first year of drinking. When he was drunk, he became unpredictable: he was the guy who took off his clothes and climbed buildings. Despite getting warnings from counselors, he continued to drink for the next 8 years. [30:40] What finally made you make that decision to go into sobriety? While at a baseball game, he told his friends that he wasn't going to drink. His buddy said, "but you can have just one," and Patrick said, "of course I can have just one." 6 hours later, he was ejected from a bar for being too intoxicated. The next morning, his girlfriend told him that he had to move out. That became his sobriety date. [41:00] In the last 10 years, have you noticed any cross addicitions? He definitely needs to look out for working too much and not eating in a healthy way. When stressed, he turns to ice cream. He's realized that since he was a kid, he's tried to change how he feels on the inside by using things on the outside. [44:10] Is there something that you have done differently while getting sober? He would have gone to 12 step meetings immediately. Learning the idea of doing the next right action sooner. [ 48:48 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? The trip to Italy when he became "a monster" and his girlfriend threatened to leave early. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? He was moving out of an apartment a few years before he got sober, and he realized that no one, neighbors, roommates was unhappy that he was leaving What's your plan moving forward? Staying true to sharing his story through his comedy What's your favorite resource in recovery? The phone. Calling other sober people and being available. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Show up with integrity. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? If you're going through hell, just keep going. This too, shall pass. You might be an alcoholic if... If you're doing "sober October" for the 10th year in a row, and you rarely get through a few days of it, you might be an alcoholic. Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Aaron, with over 1 year since his last drink, shares his story... SHOW NOTES [12:30] Paul Introduces Aaron. Aaron is 39 years old, from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. He's been sober since October 16, 2017. He's married with two children. He works in HR and Recruitment for a small company. He likes home improvement, the outdoors, gardening. He likes to restore and repair his house and cars. [15:30] Give us a little background about your drinking habits. He has drank every day more or less since college. There was a strong drinking culture at his college. He made a lot of friends through drinking. It extended to his work after college. He associated alcohol with being social. Alcohol made its way into all of his activities. He didn't know how to regulate it. He struggled to care for his children while he was drinking a lot. He couldn't concentrate and was getting cold sweats. He decided to start regulating. He read a book that asked him to regulate but it didn't work for him. He realized that he need to change. [19:53] Did you have a rock bottom moment? Many. He skipped along the bottom. He always had a way of getting out of trouble, which gave him a false sense of accomplishment. Rock bottom for him was realizing that his life had become unmanageable. He would have beers in his basements, and he called them his "morning beers". He realized that it wasn't where he wanted to be. He went to his first meeting, and he judged everyone there. He started to get something out of it by the time he was in his 3rd meeting. While in recovery, he started to feel like he had a split personality. He was cleaning out the garage and he found some camping gear. He found a box of alcohol. He pulled it out decided to hide it. He would lie about going out to his garage to work on something, but he was really going out to drink. He felt bad because he was lying about it. He argued with himself out loud and realized he had a problem. He went to a meeting and was honest about his relapse, and since then he has been sober. He began to work with his AA program. He started to understand himself a lot more. He became more in touch with his intuition. He's realizing that it's more important to be in the now. He now knows that his intuition will know what to do in situations that would previously baffle him. He's less stressed and much more happy. He has more responsibility, but life has gotten more fun. [30:21] How have you started to change your inner dialogue? He started to get into emotional intelligence. It is a way of living that has many parallels with the 12 steps. He realized that his past didn't have to affect his present. He realized that his suffering was all in his head. He started waking up earlier and going down to watch the sun rise. He found meditation and peace and he started to forgive himself. He realized that he was blessed to be a part of the moment. He stopped worrying and focused more on acceptance. He doesn't worry about the future as much. He is grateful to be here now. [35:28] Have you figured out the "why" behind your drinking? It started as just a way to cope with anxiety, but it eventually became a part of his identity. The "why" was part lifestyle, part insecurity, then eventually addiction. [36:17] Walk us through a day in your recovery. He gets up early. He tries to shut his mind off. He enjoys daydreaming and spending time with his kids. She asks him profound questions, and he's happy to be a part of her childlike innocence. He works, also. He enjoys the new freedom he gets with his new job. He goes to AA meetings twice a week. His days are filled with things he loves, or loves working on. [39:04] What's on your bucket list in recovery? He wants to go on the RE Peru trip. He wants to keep his life manageable. He wants to eventually retire so he can travel and wants to be a part of his family's life for as long as he's around. [40:11] Talk to us about the text that was meant to go your sponsor, but accidentally went to the president of your company. He was laid off, and started to offer what he did independently. Many people were approaching him because of how many people were laid off. He wasn't taking sides, but he said talking about how difficult things in life can be positive. He was reading a text from the president. He wrote a long winded text to his sponsor, with thoughts about his job, and his boss replied. He immediately wanted to delete it. They talked about it and he ended up giving him a sizeable contract as a result. [43:29] Talk to me about the pennies in your car. He kept pennies in a tray in his car, because he had heard an old wives tale about sucking on a penny to throw off a breathalyzer test. Whenever he got pulled over he would throw the penny in his mouth to suck on. When he got sober, he saw the pennies in his car and he realized he didn't need them to he cleaned them out. [45:02] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? When he woke up at 4am, his infant daughter was screa

Dan, who doesn't practice abstinence based recovery, shares his story… Link to the Fox News article mentioned in the episode "To be human is also to suffer from addiction. The particular vices vary as do our degree of addiction to them, but it takes precious little searching to know we've all got something unhealthy that pulls at us." - Mike Kerrigan, Fox News SHOW NOTES [11:08] Paul Introduces Dan. Paul doesn't practice abstinence based recovery, and had a drink a few weeks ago. He's 28 years old and lives in New York City. He runs a channel called Recovery X and Spooky Digital. He does MMA. He has a family. He practices mindfulness. [12:48] Give us a little background about your drinking. He started drinking when he was 10. His brother was getting married, and his parents allowed him to have a couple drinks. He got really drunk. He got a lot of attention and had a lot of fun. His family started to warn him about alcoholism but he didn't yet understand. He would occasionally steal his father's prescription medicine. He had behavioral problems at a young age.. he would get in fights. He started a school riot between different grades. He always looked up to the trouble makers. They got attention. He has a big family, and he felt like he always had to fight to be noticed. He was kicked out of 8th grade for stealing money from another kid. He was sent to a private boarding school. He was kicked out for fighting. He went through all kinds of behavioral modification programs. He felt abandoned by his family. He noticed that his brother had a different strategy than him. [18:33] At what point did you realize that you were using alcohol to self-soothe? He wanted to keep getting kicked out of private schools until his parents would run out of options and send him to public school. He began to drink more once he got to high school. It helped him reduce his anxiety. He ended up getting arrested after a fight, and was sent to rehab in Los Angeles. It was his first experience with a sober lifestyle. He was 16. He saw young people in recovery. He stayed out there for a while and would go on and off about wanting to be clean. He was arrested after a drinking related incident that turned violent. Alcohol always lead to destruction in his life. He had a problem with his thoughts and feelings and emotions. He also had an inability to deal with stress and relationships. [23:53] Tell us more about the thinking problem. His experience has been that the drugs and alcohol have been the solution to the problem, which was thinking or avoiding his internal dialogue. He experienced a lot of internal conflict, different conflicting voices. Now he has to be really strict about what he thinks, and what he allows to come into his mind. He had to learn how to challenge and to reframe every negative thought and to turn it into something positive. [26:17] At what point were you able to detach from the negative thoughts? He doesn't differentiate the thoughts from himself, he thinks it's all him. He thinks the mind is only about 10% of the entire brain, but it thinks that it's all of it. "It's like a stowaway on a ship saying it's the captain". He had to make friends to his subconscious mind and tell it that he's listening. He started meditating regularly. It helps him get better at reframing thoughts. [30:17] Did you experience a rock bottom moment to push into sobriety? Many. So many times in so many different ways. If he had to pick one it would when he was getting violent in a relationship with a woman. He realized he wasn't raised that way and that he violated some sort of a core value about respecting women. It made a tear in his psyche and he felt something growing through the cracks. [32:32] Tell us about the lack of abstinence in your practice. How does one successfully embrace the grey area? He finds binary thinking in the recovery community. The more we can be inclusive and the more we can embrace the idea the abstinence based recovery isn't the only way the more people we can reach and the more people we can help. A big misconception about harm reduction is that one needs to be completely sober. Abstinence is a goal, but we're really looking to improve our health and our lives on a daily basis. The goal has been to monitor his mental health on a daily basis. He started doing DBT (see links below). Part of that is keeping a record of your emotions and thoughts throughout the day. He takes notes about what happens in the day. Our memories are often distorted and the diary helps eliminate that and keep everything straight. He can see the patterns that lead to substance abuse. [36:41] When you drank recently, how did you feel when you woke up the next day? Alcohol can beat you up, but you don't have to do it yourself. Have compassion and keep it moving. Don't get stuck in the self loathing. Tell yourself positive things. [38:47] Tell us more about DBT. DBT stands for Dialectical behavior therapy. It's a therapy with mindfulness at it

Corey, with 5 days since his last drink, shares his story… The mentioned article from the Irish Times SHOW NOTES [8:48] Paul Introduces Corey. Corey has been sober for 5 days. He's from Minnesota, now lives in Boston. He's 25 years old and is working full time. He likes to exercise. He loves music, plays guitar and piano. He has an upcoming trip to Columbia, is learning Spanish. He feels confused with life now that he has left the structure of school. [13:31] Give us a little background about your drinking. He started to drink a lot more during years in college. He started to experiment with weed in high school. He began to drink or party when he should have been studying. He didn't realize there was something wrong at the time. He used his computer to avoid academic responsibilities. He was okay with it as long as he continued to deliver on his academic duties. He felt like he coasted through college and also began to coast through his first jobs. He found himself in the same behavioral patterns. He didn't know where he was or what he was doing. He lost a romantic partner because of his partying. He drowned his feelings with drinking. The feelings came back up after a few months. He was caught in a weekly cycle of drinking and depression. He used a notebook to think out loud and he wrote down that he wanted to quit drinking and smoking to be comfortable with who he was. He devised a plan. Last year he tried to knock out one of the three (weed, tobacco and alcohol). He was so focused on change that he was able to quit tobacco. Before a family trip he felt suddenly depressed. He began to drink alcohol to try and cope with his feelings. [22:10] How were you able to quit all 3? He set a new year's resolution to quit alcohol. He ended up getting a therapist and it has helped a lot. He went down to New Orleans and it broke his sobriety streak. He felt guilty. He let himself down. He is now searching for a way to enjoy friendships without booze being involved. Over the summer, he loosened his grip on quitting a little bit he hasn't been able to shake it. He went to a Halloween party and was drinking, and didn't feel good. He just decided to leave. At home he was depressed and began googling ways to end his life. He feels that is his rock bottom. [29:51] How will you manage your drinking on your upcoming trip to Maine? He doesn't have a real concrete plan. He knows there will be temptation. He's not sure what to do about it. He will try to text them and tell them that he won't be drinking. [32:48] What's your plan in sobriety moving forward? He bought some books. He wants to read those. He's listening to podcasts. He wants to continue to learn and journal and continue to move forward. He's concerned about his upcoming trips, but he'll do his best and try not to judge himself. [37:46] How have you been getting past cravings? Having some sort of healthy beverage on hand. He drinks tons of water. [39:03] What is on your bucket list in sobriety? He wants to record a full album and get better at guitar. He wants to make the most out of his international trips coming up. He wants to quit also because he wants a family. [40:34] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? The incident where he drank and almost indulged in suicide. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? When the denial ended and he got depressed. He drank to go to sleep. He realized he was damaging his health. What's your plan moving forward? What's your favorite resource in recovery? Recovery Elevator podcast. He loves the format. He likes to hear about other people's stories. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? To take it one day at a time. If he does today and then he does tomorrow, he doesn't have to worry about the future. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Just to get out of the trap of associating college with partying. It's going to catch up to you. You might be an alcoholic if… "...you always pick up a 30 rack of beer multiple times in a week when you go grocery shopping." Resources mentioned in this episode: Support for this episode is brought to you by RiaHealth.com. Visit Riahealth.com/elevator and enter the coupon ELEVATOR for $25 off your first month. Ria is growing to cover all 50 states. Currently we are able to treat people in the following states: California, Florida, Georgia, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Tennessee Ria's program is month to month, so there's no commitment. Most Ria Members stay with the program for about one year once they achieve their goals. Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Kellie, with 2 months year since her last drink, shares her story... SHOW NOTES [11:00] Paul Introduces Kellie. Kellie has been sober for 28 days. She's 43 years old, married with two children. She's a real estate broker that enjoys puzzles, reading, cooking, running and hiking, and her animals. She tried alcohol for the first time around 10 years old. She dabbled in different drugs in her teens. She drank through her 20's. She had her son at 26. She cleaned up her act and became a stay at home mother. In her late 30's she had weight loss surgery. She was in the hospital and something happened to her brother. She bought a bottle of wine. Her drinking gradually escalated after that. [16:48] Would you say you had an issue with food prior to the surgery? Absolutely. She ate mostly healthy food but she would eat large quantities. Her drinking began to affect her son. She tried to moderate her drinking but it didn't last very long. She finally went to an outpatient treatment for 3 and a half weeks. She was one of the only people there voluntarily and she didn't like most of the people there. She was focusing on the negative. They would focus on the alcoholism in her family. [22:30] Tell us about the transfer addiction. They are checking to see if you will switch to a different addiction rather than food. She feels that she has an addictive personality. She would run even if she was experiencing pain or other issues. [28:00] Tell us more about the outpatient program. Her drinking got progressively worse. She realized that she had to get it under control for her son and family. She was afraid of what her alcoholism would be like once she had an empty home. She experienced aversion therapy. She was slightly sedated, and they interview you. Because of the drugs she had to answer honestly. She did the electro shock therapy as well. They condition you to experience negative feelings from interacting with alcohol. It successfully eliminated the cravings. She was skeptical but now she thinks about it as a miracle. [33:22] It sounds like they are trying to punish or shame the alcohol out of people. Is that right? Even though the treatments were extreme, it was a positive environment over all. People were there because they wanted to be. The nurses and doctors were there to help you get and stay sober. They don't focus on you being an alcoholic. They focus on you being sober. [35:08] What's the "why" behind your addictive behavior? She knew why she was drinking. Substance abuse runs in her family. She and her siblings were abused mentally and verbally. The food became a coping mechanism. When it stopped working, the booze became a problem. She always knew why she drank. She attends meetings to take care of herself. The depression and anxiety is her why. Now she's focusing on the why. The aversion therapy makes you not want to drink, but it's still the same in that it only takes 1 drink to get back to where she was. [40:09] What is your plan in sobriety moving forward? Just to do the next right thing. Take care of herself. She's focusing on what she needs in the moment. Getting up in the morning and doing the things that she knows will keep her sober. She is trying to be more aware. She sees her self-talk and is trying to keep it in check. She combats the negative thoughts with positive affirmations. [42:38] What's on your bucket list in sobriety? She wants to run another marathon. She wants to be sober for her son. She is trying not to think too far ahead. [43:16] What have you learned about yourself in sobriety? It is possible for her to be sober. She was always worried that she would be an addict for life because she had seen it manifest in different family members. She now focuses on the important things in her life. She realizes that alcohol isn't the most important thing in her life. [44:04] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Blacking out. Her husband left to go get take-out. While he was out she passed out and her son found her on the floor. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Making her a co-conspirator in her drinking. The two of them had to work together to hide her drinking from her son. What's your plan moving forward? What's your favorite resource in recovery? The people in the recovery community. She met many kinds of addicts in recovery and she relies on them to help her stay sober. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Tell other people about recovery. You have to do it in your way and do what works for you. AA wasn't for her and she's glad she tried Shick Shadel. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Do the next right thing. Just think about right now. You might be an alcoholic if… "... if you go on vacation with your kid and you spend the entire time drinking instead of spending time with your child." Resources mentioned in this episode: Robinhood is giving my listeners free stock such

Nel, with over 1 year since her last drink, shares her story… Drinking is more than the average habit. To reduce our problems with alcohol to a "bad habit" is missing the bigger picture. We drink for a variety of reasons.. for example: to cope, to ignore, to numb, to hide. Digging ourselves out of alcohol dependency actually requires the changing or removal of several habits. We need to change the way we relax. We need to change the way we deal with difficult emotions. We need to become more conscious, aware, and in the moment. We have to slowly remember the version of us that didn't need anything to be okay. We have to change everything. When one finds themselves in the grips of alcohol, it probably takes more time, effort, and patience to return to our emotional center than it did to lose it. It doesn't happen overnight, and there are many lessons to be learned along the way, but with patience, persistence, self-love and an open mind, we can find ourselves looking back on our time with alcohol as a distant and remote dream. SHOW NOTES [11:40] Paul Introduces Nel. Nel is 52 years old, from Shannon, Mississippi. She now lives in New York. She's married. She's a personal trainer that loves sports, particularly fantasy football. Dolphins are her favorite sea animal. [15:05] Give us a little background about your drinking. She started around 16. Her parents died when she was young. She had a chaotic upbringing. She could never relax. She started drinking after her parents died. It helped her relax and she loved it. She drank mostly on the weekends with the intention to get drunk. She went on to college and started drinking a lot more. She met her first husband her senior year of college. He helped her finish school. She was already beginning to drink a lot. She always knew that she drank more than other people. All of her friends drank. She has alcoholism in her family. She partied a lot in her 20s. She worked and took care of herself. Drinking remained a lower priority. She divorced her first husband in her early 30s. She moved back to Mississippi to be with her sister and help with her family. She felt happier generally, but was always managing her alcohol. She met her second husband at 35. She moved to New York. Her new husband was a normal drinker, and it made her realize how much she drank. It caught up to her, and began to experience physical symptoms and tried to switch to marijuana. She smoked pot "like she always wanted to drink". She knew in her heart that she was making bad choices. She continued to function despite how she felt. She would blackout multiple times. She would experience "brownouts" after a few drinks. [22:47] Did you experience a rock bottom moment? She realized that she couldn't trust herself anymore. She would get stoned and pick up her nephew from school and she realized she was going down the wrong path. [25:28] Talk more about what it meant to lose trust in yourself. She was frightened. Her biggest pillar of safety in life was her ability to self-regulate, and once she began to lose that she became extremely worried. She was negotiating with herself, and never winning. After the first line was crossed, the progression sped up because the anxiety kicked into overdrive. [27:35] Did the drinking help you with the fact that you were flying solo in life? She was trying to quiet the voices in her head and the anxiety and fear. She used it as a coping mechanism, as medicine. [29:10] How did you end up making the change and finding your way out? She wants to live a life that her family members can look up to, as an example. She realized she was off course. She didn't want to go out like her parents. The next step was to put smoking and drinking down. Ever since then, she believes that God has been helping her. She began to do research about alcoholism and realized she had a problem, and that she wasn't alone. She is on the podcast because she wants to shed the shame. She didn't know many in recovery before. She wants to reach out and let people know that there is a way out, and that they can do it. [34:08] How did you keep the change going? She knew one other person in recovery. Within 48 hours of her thinking about reaching out to her, she was out of her house and she coincidentally ran into her on the boardwalk. She told her everything and she stayed with her for the next few weeks. She went to an AA meeting and it was the best decision she ever made. It gave her instructions, guidance. [37:27] Can you think of a time when self-negotiating didn't work out? She would go to a wedding, and tell herself she would only have two drinks. By the end of the night she lost her shoes and couldn't remember anything. Towards the last few years she began to consistently lose the negotiations. [38:53] What's your plan moving forward in sobriety? Keep it simple, do what's working. She goes to meetings every day. She knows the rest of her life depends on whether or not she goes to those meetings. She f

Stephan, with 10 months since his last drink, shares his story… Harm Reduction - The feeling of constantly downgrading addictions. Most of us address one addiction at a time, and usually tackle what we perceive to be the most harmful addiction first. Things improve with each hurdle. The lessons we learn from each stage strengthen our ability to move on to the next stage. Often at the root of many of our addictive behaviors is essentially an addiction to thinking. The majority of our thinking is unnecessary and just causes mental noise. The thinking brain can take us to the worst case scenario in a matter of moments which can cause the body to respond with fight or flight. If adrenaline becomes the main fuel that we use to get through our days, over time we will find ourselves with sickness and disease. The key is to find a way to shut off the monkey mind without resorting to extreme activities like skydiving, etc. Practices that cultivate inner harmony like meditation, yoga, playing a musical instrument and a myriad of other endeavors that cultivate mindfulness can slowly calm the mind and switch off the incessant chatter. SHOW NOTES [10:15] Paul Introduces Stephan. Stephan is 33 years old and lives in Denver, Colorado. He's married with a daughter. He owns a music school and is a freelance musician. He also plays golf. [12:40] Give us a little background about your drinking. He started after high school. He started to drink when he began working as a musician. He liked drinking at first. He tried to quit a few times along the way and began to suspect that he was an alcoholic pretty early. "Alcohol is the glue that binds phony friendships". He would exercise and reward himself with alcohol. He used to live behind a bar and there was a crew of people that would go to the bar regularly. For a few weeks he only drank on Sunday. He began to feel a rift between the man he knew he was and his behavior. It was exhausting. His wife became pregnant and he used that as an excuse to drink every day. His wife would say "Do you remember what you said to me last night?" She knew he wouldn't remember. He felt shameful that he couldn't remember. There was a difference between what he knew he could be and what he was doing. [20:58] How did you ultimately end up quitting? He had several failed attempts. He stayed up at a wedding drinking by the fire. He woke up and he had bitten off some of his dental work. He felt like he was self-sabotaging. He had some oral surgery to get his wisdom teeth removed, and his first question was about alcohol. It all began to slowly add up. Then he found the Recovery Elevator podcast. He became mentally exhausted. [23:58] Did you experience a rock bottom moment? It all began to slowly add up. He became mentally exhausted. He knew he needed to be there for his new daughter. He couldn't imagine being still drunk or hungover as a parent. There were complications with the pregnancy and he decided he was going to quit so he could be present while at the hospital. [25:00] How did the birth of your daughter affect your attempts at sobriety? No magic recipe. There was a decade of noise in his head already. He began to lean in to the new role. The birth of his daughter changed him, as well. He feels like he has a huge gift that he has a daughter and that he has his wife. He also visualized his daughter and his business as his purpose in life and his responsibility. He is proud that he's been sober everyday of his daughter's life. [27:26] Have you experienced any cravings? How did you navigate them? He had a family trip planned to New Zealand. He didn't drink and he felt like a small kid with parental restrictions. Then on another vacation, everyone else was drinking but he stayed sober. The big challenges were easier, but the small situations were where he almost caved. He doesn't keep alcohol in the house. His wife is really supportive. He also eats a lot of ice cream. [31:25] Is there anything you would have done differently? The next step is to reintroduce some fitness. In the past, exercise was motivated by rewarding himself with drinking. Now he wants to try it with a different intention with more longevity. [32:44] Tell us about the vision board. He was in a business development group. They had an exercise where they passed around a tin of dominos. The domino represents the one thing you need to change in your life/business. The one domino that will knock over all the other dominos. He put it on his vision board. He realized that his domino was sobriety. Since then he's accomplished so much. He believes in himself again. Part of the static in his head was not believing that he could follow through on the commitments that he makes to himself. When he finally "knocked over the domino", he began to see other things fall into place. [37:06] Walk us through a day in your recovery. Take it a day at a time. Today is all that matters. Don't overthink it. Stay in the moment. He is looking into attending A

Kelly, with 8 days since her last drink, shares her story… "Addiction gets harder and harder and ends in death. Sobriety is hard work too. But it gets easier and easier and ends in life." - Andy Ziegler In this passage to sobriety, expectations do not always line up with reality. In reality, it takes years for an addiction to take hold. The healing process takes equally as long. The negative thinking and behavioral patterns didn't set in overnight, and won't be lifted overnight. It's like turning a battleship. We let go and reprogram gradually, a little bit each day, and that happens by making daily decisions that lead us down the road of self-love and health. SHOW NOTES [07:03] Paul Introduces Kelly. In Fort Myers, Florida, 32 years old, sober for 8 days. Happily divorced. She is a mother, has a 4-year-old daughter. She is learning who she is as a sober woman and mother. [9:06] What lead to your decision to do the interview? She wanted to keep trying different things until she found something that worked. She wanted to step out of her comfort zone, not feel ashamed, and not keep it from people. She wanted to share her story. She wanted to face her fear of vulnerability. She's nervous, but ok. [11:32] Give us some background about your drinking. Her issues with addiction started quite some time ago. She started as a smoker at 15. Her first drink at 21. She dabbled in some other drugs. She was in a toxic relationship and she started to drink more to cope. She went on antidepressants. They got married and they started to do other drugs as well. They started doing heroin daily. She stopped two years ago. She got divorced and moved out. She moved into her own place. She started to feel lonely and began to drink more. She switched to liquor. She drank a lot during hurricane Irma. She would tuck her daughter in and wouldn't remember. She gained about 35 pounds. She almost got evicted from her apartment because she used some of the money for alcohol. She found herself hiding in her bathroom doing shots one night. She was ashamed of her behavior. She realized that she and her daughter deserved better and she got clean for almost a month. On the 23rd day, she thought she would reward her sobriety with a drink then found herself back in the grips of alcohol. [21:50] Did you attempt to moderate? She did. She tried to limit her drinking to Friday happy hours. When she tried to stop and moderate, she realized that it was difficult. She realized she was craving alcohol. [23:38] Have you explored the deeper causes of your drinking? She had a crutch in life. Some sort of substance has helped her get through the difficult parts of her life. She thinks her life hasn't even been that terrible. She's been relying on substances. Her deeper issues are struggling to be a single mom, dealing with stress. She is trying to get to the root now and to find healthy ways to deal with life. Deep breathing helps. She listens to audiobooks and podcasts. Previous attempts at sobriety felt like giving something up and this time feels different. She isn't going to "white knuckle" it. She realized that she doesn't need it. [28:17] How have you gotten through the tough times without alcohol? She talks about it. She reaches out before she reaches for the bottle. She just has to tell someone how she's feeling. She's used a 20 minute timer. Just take a minute, be present, breathe, set a timer, listen to 5 minutes of something else. Just stop the impulse. Easier said than done, but trying to turn off the quick impulsive thinking that has led to trouble in the past. [30:24] Walk us through a day in your recovery. She wakes up early. She is trying to not put too many expectations on too early. She'd like to start meditating or doing tai chi in the living room. She listens to a podcast on the way to work. She does about 10 minutes of reflective meditation and keeping a journal. She goes to weekly meetings on Wednesdays. She will exercise on her lunch breaks. [33:03] What's on your bucket list in sobriety? She wants to get to 30 days. She feels like one month is a good marker. She wants to lose some weight, and be there more for her daughter. She would like to be able to attend happy hour and be okay with not drinking. She looks forward to waking up and getting through the day before with no crutch. [35:49] What would you consider your rock bottom moment? She's never been arrested, and she hid it well. The night where she hid in the bathtub and drank shot after shot. She felt taken over. [36:30] Rapid Fire Round What's the best advice you have ever received regarding sobriety? One day at a time. Just worry about the now. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? The night when she could not remember putting her daughter to bed and she woke up on the couch. What are your thoughts on relapse? Forgive yourself. It's a normal part of recovery. What's your proudest moment in sobriety? Making it a full week without drinking. What's your favorite resource in sob

Jamie, with 93 days since her last drink, shares her story… "No amount of alcohol is safe for your overall health." "Alcohol was the leading risk factor for disease and premature death in men and women between the ages of 15 and 49 worldwide in 2016, accounting for nearly one in 10 deaths, according to the study…" A recent article released by CNN presents scientific studies that show the negative effects of alcohol consumption on one's overall health.. delivering an opinion contrary to the largely pro-alcohol messages one typically finds in mainstream media. SHOW NOTES [9:15] Paul Introduces Jamie. Jamie is 39, from Alberta, Canada, and has been sober for 93 days. She works in the school system and teaches fitness. She is single, with two boys and dogs and cats. [10:51] Give is a bit of background on your drinking. She started drinking when she was 12 years old. She wanted to fit in with the bad kids. Once she became old enough she drank much more. She got married and had a child. She lost her husband in a car accident, and her drinking increased. During her idle time she would drink heavily. She met someone who drank like she did. Her social circles also drank heavily. When she had large stretches of idle time she would drink a lot. One particular summer was extra heavy. [16:55] Did you experience a rock bottom moment? Her social circle was large, so there was always someone to drink with if she needed a new drinking buddy. She kept saying yes to drinks with people. She would get wasted 3, 4, 5 days in a row. She began to track her drinking on her calendar. She realized she was only drinking and recovering. She tried to join a fitness program but only lasted two weeks. She got another two weeks free and she drank the whole time. She tried dry January but only lasted 23 days. She began to moderate by saying no beer. She booked a vacation, and got blackout drunk the first night. She drank the entire trip and cried the whole way home. She tried the fitness program again. She tried dry January, in which she tried to quit smoking, drinking, and begin a healthy diet at the same time. She began bullet journaling. She went to see Tony Robbins. She created a program to keep herself in check, then she would binge on the weekends. She had a horrific morning after a night of binge drinking. She met a sober mom, and immediately didn't want to hang out with her. She called her and she recommended a counselor. She went to see an addiction counselor. She didn't want to stop drinking. He mentioned the word "alcoholic" and she denied it. She went to her first meeting and she had a breakthrough. [33:25] How did you quit? She went to her first meeting, and it was full of influential AA people. Lots of milestones, and she figured out she belonged there. She experienced a myriad of emotions. She knew that her life was going to change forever. [34:58] What happened after that meeting? She was embarrassed about going to the meeting. She realized her girlfriend was an addiction counselor. She found the strength to go. She discovered she was battling a brain disorder and that it wasn't her fault. She still battled the stigma of being labeled an alcoholic. [39:27] Did you have cravings? She was ready. She finally wanted to be good to herself. She was done hurting other people, and herself. She wanted to be there for her children, but she wasn't really there for herself. She knew that if she didn't deal with it, she would have been dead within 5 years. [42:28] What's working for you? How are you staying sober? She listens to the podcast. She is now choosing to user her free time to work on herself. She's established her community. She has a big list of phone numbers for support. She's told all of her friends. She can call her sponsor about anything. She leans on her sponsor quite a bit. She didn't give herself a choice. She "gave it all away". It's been working wonders. [45:45] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? The anxiety the morning after, or waking up in the middle of the night in a panic. Not being comfortable in her own skin. Setting herself back. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? When her friends asked her to go out and she needed to drink a case of beer. She lied to her friends. What's your plan moving forward? To be kind to herself. To remember how far she's come. To stay connected. To develop her relationship with her higher power. To work her program wholly. What's your favorite resource in recovery? What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? That it isn't a moral defect. It's not her fault. To get out of her head. To eat the ice cream, it's ok. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Sobriety is awesome. You're not missing out on anything. You're gaining! The sponsor, the accountability, the community has been number 1. You might be an alcoholic if... "…if you bring six pack when you walk your dog. Every tim