Recovery Elevator

Episode 338 – Old Narratives On today's podcast we've got Rebecca she took his last drink on October 22, 2019, she is from Madison Wisconsin, and is 31 years old. Finding Your Better You Highlights When we don't know the root of our triggers, when we don't know the narratives that are ingrained in our brains and in our souls. We think something is wrong with us. And when we think something is wrong with us, we feel shame. Part of taking responsibility of your healing is knowing yourself, so that you can get outside of this shame cycle and can walk the bridge over to self-empathy. When I know myself better, I can zoom out and see what was happening in my mind, understand myself better and allows me to manage my relationships differently. This makes me navigate my cravings better, because mine come when I feel this belief of, I am not considered. Look within and find some narratives that are living inside of you? Stories that live in the past, yet they are being perpetuated in your present life. We can re-write those stories. But only until we detect them. Insights from Rebecca's Journey [09:18] Kris introduces Rebecca. Rebecca began drinking at age 14 and she hated it. She was afraid of drinking because her dad was in law enforcement. She noticed a shift in her drinking at age 25. In 2011, her dad went to prison and that trauma had a huge impact on her life. She was also a victim of domestic violence. She thanks alcohol for getting her through terrible times and for the life she has now. Rebecca's drinking became all day drinking because she was isolated, alone, and bored. She would binge drink to soothe loneliness. She was falling apart, other than work. She began listening to recovery podcasts and reached out to her employee assistance office. She entered a therapy group that helped with alcohol addiction and trauma. She was holding on some trauma from her past that became an excuse for drinking. She was stuck in a Day 1 cycle and a shame cycle. She went to rehab and detoxed from alcohol and Xanax. It was a very structured program that gave her some tools. Learning to connect was important for Rebecca. She leaned in heavily on AA and found a local community of sober women. She is now very engaged with Café RE which has helped keep her sober. She constantly evaluates her program. She continues to suffer from anxiety and depression, but she isn't alone anymore. She really wants to give back and is now able to do so. She always challenges the narrative recognizing that a bad day can be turned around. Rebecca said, keep it simple! Kris' Message Kris is celebrating four years of continuous sobriety. He shared a quote from Marianne Williamson, "Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous. Actually, who are you not to be? Playing small does not serve the world. We born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. As we let our own light shine, we give others permission to do the same." Take some time to recognize the work you are doing. Resist the urge to minimize yourself. You are a gift to this world. You deserve happiness. It all starts from the inside out. Sponsor Exact Nature Use code RE20 at exact nature.com Shout out to The Chocolate Moose, a Bozeman Retreat Sponsor. https://www.thechocolatemoose406.com/ @thechocolatemoose406 on Instagram Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: Bozeman 2021 You can find more information about our events including Costa Rica and Denver Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Episode 337 – The canary in the mine. I was open with people about my decision. I put myself out there to create a level of accountability. Today we have Katie. She is 38, from Ohio and took her last drink July 12, 2020. This is her story of living Alcohol Free (AF). Events! Alcohol-free travel is back! Recovery Elevator is going to Costa Rica January 15th-23rd and you should join us. We've got space for 34 AF rock stars, registration opens Sept 1. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/costarica/ You can find more information about our events here. Paul's Intro Native cultures believed that a sick person is like the canary in the mine and it's the sick person who represents an imbalance in the community. Or that something is off. They also believed this person should be thanked for raising the alarm that something needs to be corrected within a community. Almost like, yo, thank you for taking one for the team. So Contrary to today's culture where mental illness, autoimmune disorders, and addictions are prevalent and on the rise, these environmental conditions were rare in most cultures prior to modern times. So this is what native cultures did when there was a sick canary in the community. The whole tribe came together to help this person because they knew they were all connected, that they were all one. The entire community would shoulder the cost to bring in healers from other tribes. All these ceremonies were different of course, but from I can deduce the two main commonalities were this: Music and dancing. For at least 3-4 days. Okay, let's tie this into alcohol. It's in my opinion those who struggle with a drinking problem are the canaries in the mines. Side note, I was the canary in the mine in the Canary islands. I went to this set of islands located off the northwest coast of Africa in 2007 and was drunk and hungover for the whole trip. I don't remember much from that trip, but I recall popcorn being my lifeline one afternoon because that's all I could. That's how hungover I was. And fun facts about Canaries, yes they do come from the Canary islands. They have yellow feathers, and occasionally eat jalapeños. Fun fact about Paul. I also occasionally eat jalapeños. We are covering some ground today team. So in 2021, there have never been more sick canaries, and if we don't ALL address this, then we're toast as a species. When I say we ALL need to address this, I mean problematic and normal drinkers. As in addiction/mental health is an external manifestation that something is highly out of balance internally with our species. This imbalance affects everyone. This is okay, it's how we grow and evolve. The good news is…. The Canary can heal. It will heal. You, if you're listening to this podcast in hopes of quitting drinking, are the canary, and you will heal, just keep at it. So how does the canary heal? I firmly believe there is no select methodology, or doctrine to follow. There is no right or wrong way to ditch the booze. There are infinite ways… But, there is one massive commonality. Ditching the booze in 21st century doesn't quite look like 3 full nights of ceremonial dancing under a full moon with the whole community anymore, but there are similarities. Let's first check out what you don't hear when someone celebrates and alcohol-free milestone. "Well, guys, I knew I was "fucked" so I locked myself in my room, read every quit lit book, listened to podcasts, learned how the mind works, and beat it." I've yet to hear that one. Nothing even close. What you do hear is, "I'd like to thank my best friend susan, my mom and dad, my AF community, my dog, the big oak tree in my back yard (That's an HP reference), and all my friends who were in my corner the whole time." Or "I couldn't have done it without… Mike, Jim, Michelle Javier and my pet canary ralph." Okay, I think that's the last canary reference. So, what does this mean? Let's get to the point. 1. You can't do this alone, and 2. You need community. This could be a close group or friends who know your desire to quit drinking, AA, Café RE, counselors etc. Ships need to be burned, or conversations with loved ones need to take place. Accountability is desperately needed. Even if you're not, and I'm using air quotes, "successful" with your decision to quit drinking, you're still developing tighter bonds and relationships in your life. According to Sebastian Junger, in his Book "Tribe" in times of crisis, people are wired to come together and help. This isn't a kind gesture from our friends, and family, or even completely strangers; it's biologically how we are wired. As I discussed in last episode, dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin are released when we help others. So when a drinking problem reaches a pinnacle moment, and I'd classify this as a crisis as it was for me in 2014, the people around us want to help. They need to help, it's good for them. They need these feel good chemicals also. Denying the loved ones in your life the opportunity to help you, is d

Episode 336 - Endorphins, Dopamine, Serotonin and Oxytocin I need to admit myself somewhere. I could sit here until I'm blue in the face and until I have some humility, this is not going to work. Today we have Susan, she's 61, she's from Pennsylvania and took her last drink Nov 19th, 2017. This is her story of living Alcohol Free (AF). Events! Due to Covid we had to cancel our Costa Rica sober travel trip, and an event in Denver. Those events are back on. We've got an AF trip to Costa Rica January 15-23rd 2022 that includes: the cloud forest, the beach, chilling on a catamaran. Registration opens Sept 1 and we've got 33 spots available. April 14th -17th 2022, we'll be in Denver Colorado at the Hilton Garden Inn at Union Station. This event will be about moving energy with music that is performed LIVE. Expect connection, small group breakout sessions and the opportunity to be your most authentic self. Registration opens Nov 1. You can find more information about our events Paul's Intro Today I will share information on the 4 main chemicals we're dealing with when we ditch the booze. I'm outline them, give a framework of how to work with these chemicals in a healthier way and a loose timeline of what to expect when you quit drinking and how these chemicals will come back into balance. The four main players dance with an addiction are Endorphins, Dopamine, Serotonin and Oxytocin. Endorphins and dopamine are the chemicals of progress. Short-term feel-good chemicals. And Serotonin and oxytocin are the long-term chemicals. Let's cover the short-term molecules first: endorphins and dopamine Endorphins - We often hear the word endorphins with exercise. And it's true. This is the reason for the runners high. Endorphins have one purpose - to mask physical pain. Since the body doesn't distinguish the difference between physical and emotional pain very well, this is why running, or physical movement helps us emotionally when we aren't feeling good. Dopamine - This is the molecule we are mostly engaged with when dealing with an addiction. This is more accurately described as the learning molecule. Dopamine is viewed as an incentive for progress. The good feeling, we get when we do something necessary for survival. Addictions highjack the dopamine system. Alcohol raises the dopamine in our brains by over 100-200% and cocaine raises it by 300%… temporarily. Then there's a major crash. Dopamine is highly addictive, and it should be. Human beings walked thousands of miles over the ice shelf of eastern Asia to the Americas because of dopamine. The dopamine system worked great for humans, until the world modernized faster than the system could adapt. Alcohol completely over runs this system Long-term chemicals - These chemicals control our long-term feelings. Serotonin - The selfless chemical. Oxytocin - The love molecule and the connection molecule. Let's cover how we can work with these as we ditch the booze and then I'll give you a loose timeline of when these chemicals should start naturally emerging in your system again. Endorphins - Keep running, keep gardening. This is a much healthier way to override the physical and emotional discomfort of quitting drinking. Also, laugh, laugh, laugh. Dopamine - It's important we retrain the brain to release dopamine with other activities. Pick a short-term goal. Maybe it's learning the guitar, maybe it's finding a species of bird in the wild, or a snake. Science shows that a spike of dopamine is released when we help other people. Dopamine is a big reason we've done this podcast 336 straight Monday's. Once we have the dopamine system cued to healthier stimuli then within time serotonin starts to naturally emerge. With this comes a sense of belonging. If we stick with it long enough, oxytocin will emerge on the scene. The long-term chemicals are contagious. This is why we love inspiring movies that motivate us to perform our own selfless acts. This is why we cheer people on at marathons or say heck yes when we hear someone has hit an AF milestone. Here's a loose timeline for this: Endorphins: within the first 24-72 hours. Dopamine: within six months, depending on your habits. Serotonin: 3-9 months. Oxytocin: 6-12 months. This is all given that you're doing the work. PAWS in recovery is post-acute withdrawal symptoms. I like to call them healing symptoms because it's the body, mind, soul, and spirit recalibrating itself without alcohol. Trust the process, stick with it, we got your back. Let's hear from Betterhelp. betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR [13:52] Odette welcomes Susan Susan's last drink was on November 19, 2017. She feels great and every year is better. Susan is 61 and single but was previously married. She has a daughter and two grandchildren. She is from Pennsylvania. She moved to Los Angeles and lived there for thirty years. She has also lived in Colorado and is now back on the East Coast. She works for a medical device company. She loves to read novels, cooking, exercise, the beac

Barela took her last drink 42 days ago (at the time of this recording). This is her story of living alcohol free (AF). A former Recovery Elevator interviewee, Jody, is hosting her own sobriety courses. This is called "The Sobriety Shift" and is a 12-week transformational program for women for are already sober, but want to elevate their life. You can find out more information here. From Paul: "All emotions are created equal" You need all emotions to give you the barometer for good and bad or to define what emotion even is. Being able to feel both sides of the emotional spectrum is important. Some ying vs yang emotions are: Hope and fear, gratitude and anger, pride and shame, desire and repulsion, love and hate. When we view all emotions as equal, we don't double down on them: we don't get mad that we are mad, or anxious that we are anxious. When you label an emotion as "bad" you have a higher chance of drinking over them. By viewing them as equal to "good" emotions all emotions are able to pass through us without being strengthened or intensified. Everything has a purpose to help us evolve. Today's show is sponsored by Betterhelp. Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 1,000,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR. [12:10] Odette introduces Barela. Barela is 43 years old and from Salt Lake City, UT. She is a mother to her Yorkie named Kiki. By day is a victims advocate for a non-profit and by night she is your Queer grocery clerk that helps you find your produce. For fun she loves true crime podcasts, going for long walks with her dog, hikes with friends, reading, painting, meditation and puzzles. Because of the pandemic she's been focusing on a lot of solo projects. [14:48] Do you notice that solitude is different now that you're sober? Barela said yes, she's always enjoyed her own company, but she's now more active and productive with her time. She's more creative because alcohol isn't in the way of her focus. Every morning is a great morning for her. [15:38] Can you give us a background on your drinking? Barela said she started drinking when she was 16. Her mom bought her alcohol to keep her in the house, rather than being out. She didn't like the taste at first. When she moved to Portland and was in a band alcohol became more a part of her everyday life. It escalated quickly in the last 10 years. At around age 28 she started blacking out. In the beginning they didn't scare her, but at the end it changed. The cycle of getting drunk, being hung over, ibuprofen, hair of the dog, get drunk… repeat became her life. Getting alcohol became an obsession in her life. [19:51] Were you surrounded by people who were drinking like you? Barela said yes, she was hanging out with people who normalized all of this. Her last black out was December 19, 2019 and she's gone through some big shifts in friendships because a lot were of those were drinking friendships only. She lost some jobs due to drinking as well. After some geographical drinking changes which didn't work, she moved back to Salt Lake City. Her bottom was when she was making her grandmother dinner, drank a fifth of Old Crow and she woke up in bed with a broken ankle. [24:27] What happened after your bottom? Barela said she declared "I can't drink anymore!" but she also saw how she had been simply adjusting her bottom as she drank. Being bed ridden after breaking her ankle brought this into stark reality. She journaled about all the relationships her drinking was affecting, including the one with herself. She knew she needed to leave the service industry. Stepping outside of that she found work with the domestic violence coalition and working at the grocery at night. [27:56] What was that time period after that like? Barela said she slept a lot and ate whatever she wanted. Lots of self-reflection. She also burned the ships to her friends for accountability. [29:41] How do you build accountability into living alone? Barela said she's superstitious and the idea of drinking again is truly scary to her. She knows that alcohol will always be there but she's made a life she loves away from alcohol. [31:36] Did you used to have a witching hour and did you have to change your habits around it? Barela said she drank all the time, so she didn't have a witching hour exactly. There was always a reason to be drinking, no matter what time it was. [33:05] How were you sleeping before you quit? Barela said sleeping has never been a problem. Barela talks about how she started detecting patterns within her relapses and trying to protect her energy and setting boundaries. [39:10] What are some tools you use every day to protect your sobriety? Barela said waking up, doing her gratitude prayer and then thinking about her goals. Making her bed and setting daily intentions. Listening to podcasts. She recently discovered The Seltzer Squa

Episode 334 You're not giving something up, you are getting so much more in return, it's just amazing. Kevin is 53, from South Carolina and took his last drink on October 6, 2019. This is his journey of living alcohol free (AF). Today's show is sponsored by Better Help. Kevin's interview is with Kris. You guys are going to love Kris's style. He's a grounded, laid back guy from North Dakota who fully gets the importance of connection. Just like you all gave me a chance, and Odette, please focus on the similarities, not the differences and welcome Kris. Speaking of Kris, we've made 10 YouTube Videos, and some of them are funny, at least that's my opinion. and our last video was my top 10 favorite recovery books. Go over to YouTube and type Recovery Elevator in the search bar. I just finished the book "Breath" by James Nestor. The breath is the true foundation for all recovery work. It turns out, 5.5 breaths per minute is the optimal rate. That's 5.5 seconds on the inhale, and 5.5 on the exhale for a total of 5.5 per minute. So next time you're caught up in email apnea, pause and focus on the breath. I highly recommend this book. Breath by James Nestor https://amzn.to/3zOJ1GZ. Why did Adele cross the road? To say hello from the other side. Okay, let's get started - Today I want to talk about the incredible feature film on trauma and addiction by Dr. Gabor Mate. The film is called "The Wisdom of Trauma." This film needed to be made and will move the needle in a healthy direction in terms of how we view addiction. Film: https://thewisdomoftrauma.com/ Book: "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts" - Dr. Gabor Mate https://amzn.to/3xOAZx1 This film covers what addiction is. It covers how it happens, when the driving forces behind an addiction take hold in life and it also has practical ideas on how we should address addiction as a society and as the individual struggling with an addiction. On this podcast, you're most likely listening to address a drinking problem, but all addictions, for the most part are interchangeable, and the mechanisms are mostly the same. Okay, no surprise here, he talks about trauma. And he is noted for saying that all addictions, start with trauma, and the baulk of that happens in adolescence. The start of addiction doesn't happen when you lose your job, but in infancy. Always. We often think that trauma must happen in Afghanistan, or a physically abusive parent but it also happens when we aren't hugged enough as a child or us not getting something we needed when we were young. Parents in the 20th and 21st centuries are pulled in so many directions, that unfortunately, this is common. It's the kiddos that pay the price. Please don't take any of this energy and steer it towards your parents, etc. They did their best. That's not a healthy way to take this information. This is an emotional film. I cried during parts of it. He says that trauma happens when you disconnect with yourself, when you don't have anyone to talk with. When kids are alone with their hurt. Another way to say this is there wasn't a healthy way to move the energy. It got stuck. Humans talking about it, is the equivalent of a duck flapping its wings in nature, and we couldn't do that as a child. So, the body hangs on to the energy. But it's not fun energy to hang on to. In the western world one of the dominant ways this excess of energy manifests itself is through inflammation in the body. He then talks about how we look at addiction as a poor choice. We, meaning society, and the individual. Thank you, Mrs. Regan for adding a couple of thick layers of pinyon pine to the stigma with the "Just say no" campaign from the 80's. That didn't help much. Gabor, then reframes it by saying, the addiction wasn't a poor choice, it was the solution. I agree completely. In fact, I'd take it even further and say kudos you found a way to survive. It's now time to find healthier ways to cope since alcohol, will mess you up spiritually, mentally, and physically in the long run. Do not beat yourself up for having a drinking problem, you found a way to survive. And now it's time to find a healthier way to connect. That's all we're doing here. I like how Gabor calls out capitalism and most modern economies as fueling addictions. We are primed to feel we need to purchase something external for short term inner wholeness. For long term wholeness, this process must be replicated 100's and 1000's of times. This is great for the stock market, but not great for mental health. There's one word to summarize this. It's MORE. We are always looking for more. This is a major pickle in modern societies that we have address ASAP. He talks about how this addiction is destroying the earth. We don't have fix the earth, fix climate change or global warming. We must fix ourselves and the individual level. Planet earth will be fine when we're gone. Our current way of living, which Eckart Tolle calls insane, is how we are conditioned. It's crazy, and unsustainable. This par

Episode 333 Link to join the Open House Café RE Chat this Saturday, July 10th, at 10:00 AM PST/1:00 PM EST https://us02web.zoom.us/j/87017557542?pwd=RFRZNGZ6SXpRS0NtdTRaNFhuZzJFQT09 Meeting ID: 870 1755 7542 Passcode: recovery Help people create a life so good for themselves, they would never want to go back. What lies beyond recovery for you, what is the next chapter? I didn't get sober so I could just settle. Tamar is from Ontario, Canada and took her last drink on June 17, 2012. This is her journey of living alcohol free (AF). Today's show is sponsored by Better Help. You might be an alcoholic if... you report your car stolen, only for it to be found at the house you were drinking at the night before. This is from Miguel Reyes, the host of the Staying Fit ODAAT podcast. Today is July 5th, you can still sign up for our Intensive Dry July course. You've still got 11/13 sessions left. Go to Recovery Elevator.com/restore. We've got a KILLER group from all over the globe, and It's been a lot of fun so far. RE now has merch! In fact, I'm wearing an RE hoodie now. Thank you, Stephanie Smale, for all the hard work. RE.comm/merch for your AF threads. Okay, let's get started - Today, I was going to talk about something else. More specifically that "all emotions are created equal." A topic, that I still plan on covering, but as I opened my computer and begin writing this intro, I recognized that this is episode 333. Now apart from loving Dan Brown's Da Vinci code, I was never really into numbers, symbols, shapes, nor the placement of stars and planets at the time of my birth… But as my journey progresses, I've become more curious, interested and more importantly open, to all this stuff. So, let's move forward with an open mind, as we are dipping a toe in the spirituality and higher power waters of recovery… which can be somewhat divisive but also fascinating because I've learned there's a part in all of us, that wants to know, what's really going on behind the scenes… And spoiler alert, I won't be answering what's the purpose of life, but do hope to tie some mathematics and mysticism into living an alcohol-free life. Let's talk about the number 3, first, then 333. With mystics, mathematicians and physicists, the number 3 is considered the perfect number, the number of harmonies, wisdom and understanding. ... It was also the number of times – past, present, future; birth, life, death; beginning, middle, end – it was the number of the divine. Some guy was resurrected three days after his death, forget his name, but I know it's significant to many. The ancient Greek philosopher, Pythagoras, postulated that the meaning behind numbers was deeply significant. ... In his eyes the number 3 was considered as the perfect number, the number of harmonies, wisdom and understanding. "If you only knew the significance of 3,6,9, multiples of 3, then you have the key to the universe." Nikola Tesla. The frequencies of the 7 energy centers or chakras are all divisible by three. For example, the heart area has a frequency of 639 HZ, which means the wave form goes up and down 639 times in one second. This number, along with all the other energy centers, is divisible by three. The earth, which vibrates at 432 HZ, which is also the key of almost all NEW AGE music, is also divisible by three. Number 3 is the foundational number of trinities, the triangle, with three sides. Mind, body, and spirit. Having it tripled, 333, is like saying trenta when ordering a coffee at Starbucks. It's supercharged. The three-sided triangle - Is the symbol of AA. The unifying language of the universe is math and 3 is the root of many and this special number governs much of the physical world at the quantum level. What does it mean to see 333? We've all heard of guardian angles. So, angels, can't speak to you directly to you, at least in my experience, but apparently, they send messages using the number 3, and when you have triple that, as in 333, it's time to listen up. So maybe this episode, is a message to YOU, from your guardian angel. 333 means that it's time to focus on acknowledging your inner truths, and head out into the world with more purpose. Inner truth (if you're listening to this podcast), means it's probably time to ditch the booze or stick with that decision. There's a voice inside, that's been saying, Yo, we don't need this. Internally there's a beautiful "tipping point" that is going to take place if not already. That's when the voice, or energy around your alcohol-free life, overpowers, or is greater than the voice representing the addiction. This doesn't necessarily mean you'll never drink again, but it's a good indicator that A - alcohol has been ruined for you and will never work in the same capacity and B. You're shedding an old skin. 333 also signifies a period of intense growth. If you're on this journey of learning how to live life without alcohol, then yes, you're in the "trenta" range when it comes to growth. This growth is intens

Episode 332 – Find More Joy One of the biggest things that kept me drinking as I long as I did was that shame circle. I would drink, do something stupid, embarrass myself, feel terrible and then drink again because I couldn't handle my feelings. Brett is 27 years old, lives in San Francisco, CA and took her last drink on January 2, 2020. This is her journey of living alcohol free (AF). If you love our intro and outro music then check out the artist DJ NYE on Spotify, and that link is in the show notes. Also in the show notes are links to download, for free, our intro and outro music, That's with my voice sampling and ET Tolle's voice samplings. DJ NYE on Spotify. Intro and Outro Music. Intro Paul: https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/recoveryelevator/RE_Paul_Intro.mp3 Intro Eckhart Tolle: https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/recoveryelevator/RE_ET_Intro.mp3 Outro Paul: https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/recoveryelevator/Paul_RE_Outro.mp3 Outro Eckhart Tolle:https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/recoveryelevator/Eckhart_Tolle_Outro.mp3 Today is June 28th. This Thursday, July 1st, is the start date of our intensive 13 session course for the month of July. We meet three times per week, Monday, Thursday and Sunday. Mondays and Thursdays are classroom style format, with intimate breakout rooms and Sundays are for guest speakers, Q&A, and we've for an AF Beverage workshop hosted by Kate (episode 315). We polled previous course participants and 72% of them remained alcohol free for the duration of our last course. How cool is that. You'll have course assignments and daily discussion prompts in your WhatsApp groups. This course is all about connection and having fun. Go to Recoveryelevator.com/restore or click the link in the show notes, to sign up and for more info. And don't forget that land tortoises are the longest living animals on the planet and that TIB is still the best band in the world. One of those is fact, the other opinion but for the most part undebatable. Okay, let's get started - I'm going to cover two things today. 1. The importance of purposefully adding more joy into your life and 2. Recently while traveling, I came across the most vicious sports mascot ever. I still get goosebumps when I think of the deadly mascot. Okay, let's talk about joy. And this may seem like common sense, but it's not because so many of us postpone, skip, or have forgotten about joy altogether. Like the "how to" part. And now seems like a good time to insert a quote about joy. "Joy does not simply happen to us - we have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day." - Henri Nouwen Let's look at a sample to do list. Drop package off at post office. Return mortgage papers to lender Take Ben to Vet Edit website copy for upcoming event. Play piano. Now this may or may not be my to do list, and yours may be similar, And I'm referring to the order. I've got playing the piano last. We tell ourselves we need to get all the grown-up tasks done first. Kids, job, house, feeding the family, pets, why didn't my sprinklers turn on last night, then last on that list is US. Here's my HARD ask of you. Make a point to do something every day that you find joyful. And here's the important part. Do it first. Before all the other stuff that has the potential to zap all the creative energy out of you. About 3 months ago, I stared taking piano lessons. I went from chop sticks to now I can the Scientist and Clocks on the piano by Coldplay. Can't sing them yet because that's some major rubbing your tummy and patting your head type sh$t, but I'm working on it. At first, I would practice piano at the end of the day, when my mind was sometimes ready for a nap, and the mind is in high beta brain waves… borderline stressed from the day. It worked, but some days I had to force it. Then I flipped the to-do list. I started playing the piano first thing in the morning. Before all the adulting took place. Here's what I found. When we do something we enjoy, there's a natural creative energy that arises, that makes things tolerable, even pleasant. Here's the important part. This energy, consciousness, will then overlap into the next task or project. I quickly found I was more effective at all remaining tasks for the day, and they all became more joyful. So, I try to practice piano or music every morning. This flip has had a big impact on my quality of life. Let's tie this into sobriety. When we are doing something we enjoy, we enter into a flow state where time and our problems seem do disappear. Flow states, or when we are fully mentally immersed in a task, are healthy because we aren't thinking about how the F, we're going to quit drinking. Another way to say this, is the neural connections that fortify an addiction begin to soften and something else is strengthened, be it gardening, reading, hiking, or whatever. Again, our mental energies aren't "in" the addiction, or the "story." You're like - "A crap, this guy is back with his getting out of the story stuff again."

Episode 331 – we hear from Laura! Community is so important. It is so important to connect with ourselves, our source energy, or other people. All those things get disconnected with addiction. Reconnecting with the world is an important part of recovery. On today's podcast we have Laura who is from Austin, TX and took her last drink on September 16, 2019. This is her journey of living live alcohol free (AF). Headlines Laura's Amazing Journey [16:04]– you will hear about Laura's story, and she has some great insights for all of us along this journey to gaining or maintaining sobriety. Paul Churchill is back! He is using his Kermit the frog impression. He missed us all and is so grateful to Odette and all of us for giving him a break this past year. Listen to his insights about his key learnings during the last year [11:20]. Paul describes being sick, mentally physically and spiritually. He is dedicated and energized to continue Recovery Elevator (RE). Season Three! 52 episodes – Paul will do 46 intros; Odette will do 6 and welcome Chris who will do an interview every month RESTORE 13 session alcohol free Dry July course! com/restore 75-minute sessions on Monday, Thursday and Sunday with homework sessions including: Calming the mind Building accountability Dealing with intense emotions How to have fun without alcohol Addressing unhealthy thoughts Sound Healing AF Free beverages and more! Day 1 or more and Patrick and Odette are coaching with Paul. Odette Rocked It and she is still here! Paul gave many stats about how a podcast survives in a pandemic. Paul also learned so much from listening to Odette take the from seat on the podcast. His discoveries among many include: Focus on wholeness Be honest Be vulnerable Time has its own timeline Understanding your relationship with food Expand your team (you are not in this alone) Have Fun! Sobriety is not a curse. Laura's Story [16:04] Odette welcomes Laura Laura's last drink was September 16, 2019. Laura feels great and has ups and downs and is present and grateful. She lives in Austin, Texas where she owns a spa and does bodywork and energy work. She is working with Supernatural Recovery. She is a single mom to an 8-year-old daughter and loves meditation and yoga. [17:40] Tell us about your path with drinking Laura grew up in an alcohol abusive family. She started smoking pot and LSD at 14. She didn't want to drink because of her parent's drinking. She was raped at 16 and started drinking to overcome her panic attacks. She was imprisoned, tortured, and sexually abused for two years. She escaped from her abuser at 18, went to college and her PTSD symptoms became really apparent. She was hospitalized until she could become mentally stable. She continued drinking for 20 years. She was often functioning and often not, it swung back and forth. She didn't have any rock bottom moments, she lived in rock bottom for several years. After several false starts she was able to stop drinking in 2019. [20:57] What was your inner dialogue when you started using alcohol? Laura realized if she was drunk enough, she didn't have a panic attack. She was doing things that weren't healthy, but it was how she survived. She is also in recovery for an eating disorder. As part of that journey, she realizes she developed a lot of maladaptive coping mechanism that were survival instincts to help her disassociate. [23:27] How was sharing your abuse with the world? Laura said she didn't share very much. She minimized her early trauma. Integrating her alcohol recovery with heavy trauma therapy has helped her and as her sobriety time increases, more memories surface surfaced. The heavy trauma therapy helped her understand why it was so difficult for her to get sober. Her trauma and alcoholism to hand in hand. [25:29] Have recurring memories of trauma been a trigger for you? Laura said sobriety has been an awakening process. She has discovered some radical truths and uncovering new information about her trauma and her family of origin. Her therapist has helped her reconcile those awakenings. [26:35] How did you approach your healing journey? Laura wrote a book about her journey which is part of Supernatural Recovery. There are four cornerstones including: caring for your physical body (nutrition, hydration, exercise), trauma relief (body work, energy work, plant medicine, acupuncture), calming your nervous system (finding new ways to handle your body when her nervous system was activated), forgiveness and self-compassion which been the part of it. She is learning how to enjoy her life and avoid negative relationship patterns. [29:20] How did you discover these alternative tools? Laura said because of her body work practice, she is connected to many resources in the Austin recovery community. She learned to release trauma and find new ways to live her life. [31:14] How was early sobriety for you? Laura said she did not have a pink cloud. She cried all day every day for the first 90 days. Hiking dai

Episode 330– You change and grow and evolve and that's a good thing. You get better, wiser, stronger and make better decisions. You can't be afraid of that. Tricia took her last drink on November 14, 2016. She is from Dallas and is 40 years old. This is her journey of living alcohol free (AF). Today's episode will be a bit different. Tricia chatted with Paul previously on episodes 100 and 212. We will focus on life beyond the bottle and what happens after you have some sober time under your belt. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/re-100-binge-drinking-problem-2/ https://www.recoveryelevator.com/re-212-the-body-tells-us-where-to-go-next/ Today is the final episode of Season 2. Season 3 of the Recovery Elevator podcast begins June 21st. We are focused on having fun, staying authentic, spicy chili mango, ice cream and helping others along the way. Finding Your Better You – Odette's weekly message. Odette has encountered many people who feel stuck. They are struggling with letting go of booze. It's hard to let go of alcohol in a society that encourages drinking. It is normal and part of cognitive dissonance. You can step out of that societal pressure that encourages alcohol consumption. It's when we resist that it feels the hardest. Choosing to see this journey as an opportunity instead of a sacrifice helps is the first step to breaking free. Choosing to see we are the lucky ones. Alcohol makes false promises. When we engage differently with the world, we learn we are detaching from booze and the matrix. We must be part of society, but we have power to choose and create new experiences. We outgrow our old selves and fitting in with others. Remember you have the power to break free from the matrix. You have the power to heal, make new friends, make different decisions, and focus on a better life. Lean into new beginnings. You matter! You can find peace in your decision to stop drinking. [10:28] Odette welcomes Tricia Tricia took her last drink on November 14, 2016. She describes herself as a high functioning drinker. Her family had addiction issues. Tricia talked about being co-dependent and she was a perfectionist and over achiever. Success validated her. She worked in a service industry and as a chef. She worked hard and drank hard. She was protective of her drinking because she didn't want anyone to know about her drinking. She was obsessed with making it look like everything was fine. She was a blackout drinker. She was scared about that progression. She was unable to quit for more than a month at a time. She got divorced and used alcohol to cope and avoid her feelings. Her anxiety peaked and her drinking became out of control. One Monday she went through three days of withdrawal after a weekend of binge drinking. She reminds everyone not to quit cold turkey if they are physically addicted because it can be life-threatening. She started listening to podcasts, Recovery Elevator and heard stories that sounded like her. She began looking for resources and she went to an AA meeting. She worked the steps, got a sponsor, and went to therapy. Not all of them stuck, but she liked being able to do it her way. Tricia has found freedom in recovery. [20:10] Is it easy to forget how bad your problem was? How do you make yourself remember? Tricia said she forgets, but not in a way that makes her want to drink. She knows it was terrible and doesn't want to go back. The freshness of early sobriety, her first 90 days are hard to remember. Recovery is a big part of her life which makes it easier to remember. [23:19] What are some of your later lessons of sobriety? Tricia said people pleasing and inner child work are old habits to break. Initially your focus is not drinking. In time you find new things to work on and it never gets old. People pleasing is a tough one to overcome. Separating herself from her feelings was huge. Alcohol was 20% of her issue, the other issues emerge as you gain sobriety. [26:25] What is your currency now? Tricia said joy and peace. At night, if she is sleeping easy and she isn't ruminating, she knows she is doing something right. Breathwork and meditation help. Her focus was on achievement and what she could earn. When she finds joy in things and what makes her happy, she is at peace. You make choices about how you live life, and it brings you freedom. Stopping and being mindful of what she is thinking is the work. Small, steady work on your thoughts is important. [30:50] How do you protect your energy? Tricia said identifying energy sucks are critical. She is mindful of her reactions to things. Identifying 'her part' is important. Identifying what she can control helps. There are days when she didn't sleep well or didn't eat and she doesn't do as good a job as she would like, but she gets an opportunity to try again the next day. Tricia recognizes she will disappoint herself and others. She does the best she can and embraces her humanity. We are all doing the best we can, and listening is important

Episode 329 – I started to notice the expectations putting an expectation on things or a timeline or predict reactions. I try to do what I can every day and try not to put expectations on things anymore. Dane took his last drink on October 11, 2020. He is from Washington State, and he is 32 years old. This is his journey of living alcohol free (AF). Season 3 of the Recovery Elevator podcast begins June 21st. We are focused on having fun, staying authentic and helping others along the way. Finding Your Better You – Odette's weekly message. Odette spoke about her beloved Peleton and the arsenal of "why's". and thought shifts. The instructor encouraged Odette to dig into her arsenal of why's and keep going. Odette reflected on Simon Sinek's book, Start with Why. Odette reflected on her time in rehab. She focused on why she was recovering from food addiction. She knew having a family was her why and Actions can be driven by fear or manipulation or love and inspiration. Simon says few people or companies can articulate why they do what they do. Charisma has nothing to do with energy, it come from clarity of WHY. Energy comes from good sleep or caffeine. Charisma comes from loyalty, energy does not. Our purpose is to stay on the path of an alcohol-free life. Odette wants to stay sober so her kids can have a health, not perfect role model. Odette wants to have healthy relationships and break toxic patterns in society . Odette has many why's and she leans on those whys when her tank is empty. Hard days are part of a good life. Dig into your arsenal of WHY's. [7:56] Odette introduces Dane Dane took his last drink on October 11, 2020. He lives in Washington State. He is a buy and hold real estate investor. He subcontracts with janitorial work. He is 32 and single. He has a son arriving in June. He was an only child, so he is hoping to make it as fun as possible. He loves to travel, seeing culture, history, and food. He loves cross fit, yoga, the river, boating and is returning to meditation. [10:49] Tell us about your history with drinking? Dane said he started drinking in high school He and a friend drank a fifth. In junior year, beer was the drink of choice. In college he was mixing drinks and he noticed things going downhill. He had a rock bottom moment; he was in a car accident. He was transported to Portland and was in the hospital for 30 days. He was de-gloved. After a year of healing, he returned to college to get his degree. For two months he didn't drink. When he started again, he would black out and it went downhill from there. [14:13] Were you questioning your relationship with alcohol when your accident occurred? Dane said the night of the accident, he didn't drink any more than usual. A psychology class prompted him to think about how much he drank. He moderated and binge drank on the weekends. Everybody drank in college, so it didn't seem like a big deal. [16:08] What happened after college? After college, Dane moved to Seattle for a large city experience. He binged with his friends on the weekends. He began to distance himself from his friends so he wouldn't drink as much. He went home to visit him family. His business and his family inspired him to move back to Eastern Washington. [17:40}. When did you attempt to stop drinking? Dane said he and his girlfriend had an argument. He didn't remember any of it. He drove back to his house and awoke with shame, guilt, and anxiety. He tried to quit before, but generally avoiding his friends and moderating. He knew the life he wanted to have wouldn't exist without drinking. [19:47] What was your thought process about quitting? Dane said once the car accident happened it put a bull's eye on him. It put him on the map with an alcohol problem. People asked him about quitting or moderating. When people asked him about quitting, he wanted the details so he could understand it. Dane googled how to quit drinking or famous people who quit drinking. He knew for five years, he needed to quit, he just didn't know how. [24:06] What happened on October 10th? I had an argument with my girlfriend and I couldn't remember any of it. The first three days were recuperation. He continued looking at other nondrinkers. Dane found Café RE, and a weight was lifted. He knew he was not alone. As he continues getting tools, he knows his life is better. He realized he was a good person but didn't show his best character when drinking. [27:34] How did you handle early sobriety? Dane said he was always a binge drinker, and he listened to podcasts and focused on podcasts, yoga, and healthy food. He is tempted with a cold beer or a shot, but he goes back to what he may feel, do, or say. Dane often thought he didn't have a problem because he wasn't a daily drinker. A lot of times the hard things are hard. We think backwards. He lets people know he isn't drinking. Many people ask him how many days he has. Dane gave a shout out to P [37:27] Do you have a favorite non-alcoholic drink? Dane said T

Episode 328 – the quality of my relationships with other people in the world is limited by the quality of my relationship with myself. Adam took his last drink on December 13, 2019. He is from Massachusetts, and he is 37 years old. This is his journey of living alcohol free (AF). Season 3 of the Recovery Elevator podcast begins June 21st. We are focused on having fun, staying authentic and helping others along the way. Finding Your Better You – Odette's weekly message. Odette spoke about early sobriety and thought shifts. Early sobriety can be exhausting because your body is resetting, and your thoughts are playing tug-o-war. You have permission to be tired in early recovery. The mental work is exhausting. Odette referenced Melody Beattie and the Language of Letting Go. Letting go of fear is at the core of codependency. Fear can help you protect yourself. In recovery, waving goodbye to fear allows you to embrace safety, trust, peace, and acceptance. Pay attention to healthy fears and let go of the rest. We can trust and love ourselves. Sometimes what is best for us feels wrong. We oversee letting go of what doesn't serve us anymore. Peace begins within you. [8:15] Odette introduces Adam Adam took his last drink on December 13, 2019. He lives in Western Massachusetts with his wife and two young children. He is a lawyer. He loves running, hiking, reading, and playing with his two girls. [9:51] Tell us about your history with drinking? Adam said his first love was marijuana. He smoked during high school. His mother died suddenly when he was in college. He stopped smoking pot when he went to law school due to the conflict with legality. Slowly alcohol crept into his life. After a few years, he muted his feelings and pressures at work with alcohol. He quickly started moderating. He moved to Massachusetts and intended to stop drinking, but he was isolated, and his drinking escalated. [12:28] What was your mindset around alcohol? Adam said for him it was always numbing. He liked to drink alone. He struggled with family issues including shame, vulnerability, and food issues. He took on some of the behaviors he saw in his family. [14:00] Did You have food issues as well? Adam said he did struggle with weight as well. In junior year of high school, he lost 70 pounds. He loves running and that has helped him manage his emotions. He has been choosing mediation in the past year. [15:21] How did your drinking evolve? Adam said by 2014, he went to his first AA meeting. He spoke to his therapist about drinking, but he wasn't ready to deal with it. He developed a pattern of lying about his drinking and he would get caught. He tried to control his drinking by buying nips. He wanted a state of numbness without heavy consequences. He described an out of body experience about starting to drink and drive and hide bottles before he got home. [17:45] Was your shame progressing? Adam said it was terrible. He felt like a total failure. He was taking risks, putting his daughter in danger. The weight of the shame was huge. Things came to a head when his wife was pregnant with their second child. He recalled lying about sobriety time and taking coins for a year of sobriety when he hadn't achieved it. He brought the coins into the meeting and told them he had lied. He was accepted, given hugs and it opened the door for him to transition from shame to guilt. He was still drinking and hiding. Anticipating coping with a newborn prompted him to ask for a bigger level of help. He went to rehab to get well. [22:51] Did returning the coins change how you approached drinking? Adam said it opened the door to imperfection. He read "the Gifts of Imperfection" by Brene Brown. He learned that the quality of relationships with other people in this world were limited by his relationship with himself. If he couldn't learn to love himself, his relationship with his wife would suffer. He knew he needed to take 30 days away to have the space and room to learn to love himself. [24:58] How were things when you returned home? Adam has found freedom from his self-imposed "control" cage. When he returned home, he had a lot of trust to rebuild. He spent 15 hours a day changing his mindset while in rehab. When he returned home, he realized life went on. In the beginning he resisted several things. His wife asked him to put a breathalyzer in the car because she was concerned about him driving the children while intoxicated. Today he embraces that completely, but at the time his ego resisted the suggestion. He had to learn to ask for advice versus selling his excuses to others. He and his family have been safe for over a year. He has rebuilt trust and freedom with his family. [30:53] How were the first few months? Adam said he had very few cravings. He is active in AA. He attends four virtual meetings a week. He belongs to a gratitude group and shares three things he is grateful for every day. [32:55] What role does exercise play in your recovery? Adam ran when he

Episode 327 – trying to stop and think about, is alcohol serving me? I don't have to decide right now, I need to get back to basics. Chloe took her last drink on June 7, 2020. She is from the UK and is 32 years old. This is her journey of living alcohol free (AF). Odette gave a shout out to Brainwashed Coffee that is one of the sponsors of the Bozeman retreat. They also donate 50% of their proceeds to those in addiction recovery. https://www.brainwashedcoffeeco.com/ Promo Code: elevator for a 20% discount. Finding Your Better You – Odette's weekly message. Odette spoke about growing up with her brother, Charlie and playing lots of video games. Odette talked about trust and video games. Trust is earned. The more you do the next right thing and protect your sobriety, you get to the next level, just the way you level up when playing video games. Facing recovery with fun instead of fear helps you recognize your increasing skills that come with practice. [6:09] Odette introduces Chloe Chloe took her last drink on June 7, 2020. She said it has been a crazy journey. Chloe is 32 and lives in the UK. She has a dog, and she loves walking the dog, running, anything active. [7:16] Tell us about your history with drinking? Chloe started drinking at age 15. She was a binge drinker like many of her friends. She didn't see it as a problem until her mid to late twenties. She started listening to the Recovery Elevator podcast. She reached one-year of sobriety and had a relapse that was lengthy. As of this recording she has 8 months of continuous sobriety. [8:19] What put you on the trajectory to quit drinking? Chloe said she wanted to drink more than she could get away with. As her moderation journey continued, her drinking got worse. She got depressed and was in a bad relationship. She attempted suicide and was put into an inpatient program for depression. She was sneaking alcohol while in the program but didn't relate the correlation between drinking and her depression, she found AA and discovered she could have a happy life without drinking. [11:01] Did the doctors treating your depression ask about your drinking? Chloe said she played down her drinking. She thought everyone did that. Alcohol was such a crutch, and it was something she looked forward to, so it was hard to get her head around stopping. [12:30] How did you end up at your first AA meeting? Chloe said the more she tried to moderate, the more out of control her drinking became. She answered yes to every question on an alcohol quiz. She was able to relate to what people in AA said. They were able to have a happy, functional life without alcohol. It helped her change her thinking about drinking and her depression. [14:49] What happened after your first AA meeting? Chloe stopped drinking for a bit, then relapsed. She went into a second treatment program and got sober. She worked the steps. She achieved a year of sobriety. She started drinking after getting into a relationship with someone new. He was a drinker and she wanted to share that experience. Over the next 18 months, her drinking became progressively worse. Her thinking was muddled. She read Paul Churchill's book; Alcohol is Sh*t! She realized she didn't need to figure out if she was powerless, yet. She needed to get back to basics and keep trying. Even one day of sobriety is progress. [18:08] Did the desire to fit in influence your relapse? Chloe said she thought she could have fun with alcohol and stop again. She didn't realize how insidious it is to continue starting and stopping over and over. Sobriety is precious. She felt crazy. She would listen to sobriety podcasts, then drink at night. She learned a lot of lessons through drinking. [21:54] Did you share your sobriety with people outside of AA? Chloe said she did share her quest for sobriety with the person she was in a relationship with. She had to get support when she returned to sobriety. She has great friends in AA and her family is supportive as well. [23:02] Did sobriety help your depression? Chloe said about six months into sobriety she noticed the feelings of joy and gratitude that she hadn't experienced before. The depression was gone. Her life had meaning and a reason to go on. [24:46] What motivated you to quit again? Chloe said it was during lockdown and things were bad. Lockdown accelerated her drinking. She drank three bottles of wine a day, passed out and kept repeating it day after day. Her last night of drinking, she drank so much, she got into a fight and got violent with her partner at the time. She called the police, and they took him away. The next morning, she realized she was the one with the problem and it couldn't happen again. The risk was no longer worth it. She felt done and resigned. She threw everything she had at sobriety. She went back to AA and attacked sobriety, stacked days and she is grateful it's working. The first few months were tough, now she doesn't have to work so hard to stay sober. [28:11] Do you realize

Episode 326 – playing forward and playing it present -- if I drink again, why would I want to go down that path? Erik took his last drink on March 9, 2019. He is from upstate New York. This is his journey of living alcohol free (AF). This quarter's Recovery Elevator donation went to "The Phoenix." thephoenix.org Finding Your Better You – Odette's weekly message. Odette is training for a marathon. She reached out to her fitness coach Paul from RecoveryFit1 to get some guidance on training, cross-training, etc. She has noticed the training for the race is re-training her brain, rewriting her story and building her confidence. Crossing the finish line of a marathon is scary for Odette. During her childhood, she participated in the rally portion of the mini-Olympics. She fell and as a result her team was in last place. From then on, she told herself she was not a runner. Odette recognizes we often get stuck in our stories because those stories are all we know. We need to believe we can do things differently. She is using visualization techniques to overcome her old stories. What stories are we telling ourselves about our alcohol-free journey? Are those stories holding you back or keeping you stuck? How can you re-write your story? [8:53] Odette introduces Erik Erik took his last drink on March 9, 2019. His journey includes ups, downs, and stability. He grew up in upstate New York and lives in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, He is 42, single and living it up in the sunshine state. Erik loves binge watching TV (COVID), meet-up.com, brunch, dinner, event planning, relaxing and baths. [11:23] Tell us about your history with drinking? Erik took his first drink at junior prom and found his dad's secret stash of Manhattan's. He didn't drink much until college. He remembers the Bridge Street Run and he got completely wasted and was on camera when the local news covered the event. His drinking progressed from there. He moved to Los Angeles and in 2010 he got his first DUI. He knew his drinking was a problem and he started looking at his drinking more closely. His DUI stemmed from a party that included friends from college. At 3 AM, he remembers driving home and avoiding someone on the side of the road. He passed an accident and almost ran over the cops. His recollection was foggy because he was so intoxicated. He exited the freeway on Hollywood Blvd., was arrested and the cops took him back to the scene of the accident so he could see where he almost ran the cops over. His friends came to pick him up and told him, 'It's ok, it happens to everyone'. [17:55] What happened after the DUI? Eric looks at his drinking career through the lens of his DUI's because he's had three in ten years. He went to AA after the first DUI. He took one of the quizzes about problem drinking. His gut knew he had a problem, but he ignored it and went along with his friends who said it was not a big deal. He moved to Florida and picked up where he left off. His 2nd DUI was in 2013. He remembers going out, ripping his jeans from dancing and drove from West Palm Beach to Ft. Lauderdale. He was driving 80 MPH in a 35 MPH zone. He blew a .15 and went to court. Five years later he got his third DUI. [21:16] What was your drinking like between the DUI's? After the first DUI, it scratched the surface of concern, but he kept drinking. Erik describes himself as a celebratory binge drinker. He went to AA for four months without drinking and believed moderating would work for him. He was able to moderate successfully until the shut off valve in his brain didn't shut off. In 2018, Erik got his third DUI. He had a breathalyzer in his vehicle and was still positive (for alcohol) the next day. Erik took a cab to work. Erik never wants to be like that again. [27:39] What other elements of your life (at the time) could be attributed to alcohol? Erik said from 2016-2018 he was a mess. He was on anti-depressants and drinking and the combination and progression were not good. Erik knew peer pressure was a big deal for him. He learned to distance himself from people who drink. He acknowledges his choices and recognizes he needs to say no to others in an [30:02] Did you have a rock bottom when you had your last drink? Erik said the weekend after his third DUI he was drinking, and he drove a friend to the airport at 5 am. He went to AA for six months. He chaired meetings, read the books. His attorney helped him to stay out of jail by wearing an ankle monitor. He was unable to get into treatment because he already had six months of sobriety. Erik had to hack the system to get treatment. He got really drunk to make sure he could get into treatment vs. jail. [37:54] How was your life after treatment? Erik described treatment being a gift. There were some downsides, including losing his privacy. When he left rehab, he was required to wear an ankle monitor. He had a falling out with his sponsor. He made a choice to drink to stay out of jail. He became forthcoming with his therapis

Episode 325 – I used to drink at people when I was upset and those were bad nights. I believed alcohol calmed me down and got me out of the anger. Gillian took her last drink on November 9, 2019. She is from Boston and loves playing video games. This is her journey of living alcohol free (AF). https://www.getgruvi.com/ discount code: recoveryelevator Finding Your Better You – Odette's weekly message. Odette has been thinking about death. She has anxiety about dying. She read a chapter in the Untethered Soul. The author, Michael A. Singer said having an active relationship with death is healthy. "It is truly a great cosmic paradox that one of the best teachers in all of life turns out to be death. No person or situation could teach as much as death has to teach you. While someone could tell you, you are not your body, death shows you. While someone could remind you of the insignificance of the things that you cling to, death takes them away in a second. Death makes us all the same." Keeping death at the forefront of our mind helps us stay in the moment. We can stop focusing on the future or dwelling on the past and appreciate every moment. Full presence with her children gives Odette great joy. In the moment, Odette is learning to appreciate what she has. She knows we can avoid thinking about death, but it's inevitable. When we choose sobriety, we remove a huge block that prevents us from being in the moment. Odette still has other blocks, yet she is motivated to stay sober by those moments when she can understand what being fully present is. The more time she spends away from alcohol, the more presence is available to her. Value what you have, honor where you are and be grateful! [10:25] Odette introduces Gillian Gillian took her last drink on November 9, 2019. She lives in Boston, she is a biochemist and for fun she reads, plays video games and hangs out with her husband and kitty. [11:29] Tell us about your history with drinking? Gillian started drinking at age 22. She was a late comer to drinking. She had a glass of wine at 18 and had such intense shame about drinking. She drank more in grad school and started with Bud Lite, and her drinking quickly escalated. She was frequently sick and within a year she was a daily drinker. Her tolerance doubled. She tried to moderate for five years. Eventually, she realized moderation would not work. [13:27] Tell me more about the shame your experienced with your first drink? Gillian is a rule follower. She had trouble liking who she was. She didn't like or accept her body. At 18 she was feeling shame about food she ate. It was a difficult time in her life. [14:39] Tell me more about your moderation attempts. Before Gillian was a scientist, she was a teacher and she used alcohol as her fuel. She learned that when you drink, the stress goes away, and you feel better. She switched to Vodka and made cosmos daily. She knew she was drinking too much. She used a rubber band for the number of drinks, had her husband pour drinks, she bought strong wine, bought weak wine. She ended several friendships because she thought she was drinking too much with them. In her journal her goal was to limit to 25 drinks a week. She abandoned that quickly. [17:18] Why were you so firm on making moderation work? Gillian said she couldn't imagine a life without alcohol. She thought it would be the death of fun. All her friends drank. It was fundamental to her socializing. She continued to try moderation. She went to a therapist and was told she wasn't an alcoholic. [18:58] Did your husband know you were struggling? Gillian said she talked with her husband a lot about her moderation attempts. He knew they were well thought out. He loved her and wanted to support her but felt uncomfortable saying she should quit. [20:48] How is your relationship now that you have been sober for over a year? Gillian said her relationship is much better. They were having a lot of issues before she quit. She says it's like they are dating again. They talk about their lives and their thoughts. They connect so much better. Her husband is a normal drinker. [22:45] What made you decide to quit? Gillian said her mental health declined for the last four years of her drinking. She developed anxiety and was up all night with panic attacks. She continued drinking and eventually she developed suicidal thoughts, which scared her. She challenged herself to not drink for 90 days. She did the 90 days and on day 91, she got drunk. She drank for a few more months and the suicidal thoughts and anxiety returned. She quit for good in November because she was afraid, she might act on her thoughts. [25:42] You had good insights about the outcome of continued drinking. Does that ring a bell? Gillian said she believed people would label her as a loser, a weak person. She wanted to go to parties and wineries and did not want to be the only one who wasn't drinking. Anger has been her biggest struggle. She would get overcome with rage. She

Episode 324 – I guess it's my pride. It's ego which is not a good thing. It's almost a year and I realized, OMG, it's the best year of my life. Bobbie took her last drink on December 16, 2019. She is from upstate New York. This is her journey of living alcohol free (AF). Finding Your Better You – Odette's weekly message. Odette was inspired by Brian who hosted one of the Café RE chats. Evolution of sobriety isn't always linear or a straight shot. We assume it will be an upgrade. However, sobriety can be messy. You can feel stuck and get into victim mentality. Odette compared sobriety to a puzzle. Sometimes it can feel like we are going backwards. When looking at the puzzle, we grab different pieces. Sometimes the piece doesn't fit, but we make a mental note and later in the journey, the puzzle piece fits. Traveling backwards is common because the tool or lesson may have not made sense at the time, but it does later in the journey. Everything has a purpose and it's there for a reason. We don't always see the bigger picture. We need to accept that unlike a puzzle …. the journey never ends. There is no destination, it's about the journey. It's not about being (un)loveable, morality, making mistakes, it's about discovering our wholeness. We don't quit quitting. It's about resilience. [11:59] Odette introduces Bobbie Bobbie took her last drink on December 16, 2019 She lives in snowy upstate New York. She has family in Connecticut. She has two business that she launched in 2020. She loves volleyball, reading, puzzles, Zumba and is learning how to adjust the fun in our new environment. [13:54] Tell us about your history with drinking? Bobbie started drinking at 15. She remembers the first time she got caught for drinking. Her biological father was an alcoholic. She knew she shouldn't drink because she didn't want to be like her father. Growing up, Bobbie spent a lot of time with people in recovery because there was a lot of addiction in her family. She went to Al-Ateen and many AA picnics. She believes that she developed an addiction to gambling because she was trying to avoid an addiction to drinking. She resented having to go to these events because it wasn't her problem. Now her view has evolved. She didn't embrace anything 12-step until 2017. [17:32] What was your trajectory of drinking vs. gambling? Bobbie said she was a truck driver in her early twenties. She didn't party when she was driving. She drank to excess on the weekends which she felt was normal because everyone was doing it. In her thirties she drank with her husband (he was the DD). She was gambling in the background, but her drinking was a problem. In 2017 she went to rehab and focused on gambling first. She went to rehab on her own accord. She had an executive level job, but all her perceived obstacles were removed. She owed it to herself to address her addictions. She was getting in trouble at work events. [21:06] How long were you at the rehab center? Bobbie said she was in rehab for 28 days. Rehab left quite an impression. She was in the gambling wing. Her freedom was removed because she couldn't even choose when to take a shower. It felt like a cross between summer camp and jail. She knew she needed to focus on herself and didn't want to ever lose her freedom again. [23:51] How did you handle being in the gambling wing versus the drug and alcohol wing of rehab? Bobbie said that they were not allowed to interact with people in the drug and alcohol wing. Everything was separate. Before entering rehab, Bobbie interviewed for a job. She left rehab at 28 days (vs 30) and went to after care. She was called out frequently for drinking. The aftercare team didn't hold back. In 2019 Bobbie decided not to use alcohol as a coping mechanism. She discovered Café RE in 2018 and knew she needed to focus on her drinking. Bobbie was frustrated that alcohol was a problem when she was doing all the work for her gambling addiction. She broke up with a guy and was drunk texting her ex and recognized her texts were mean and venomous. Having another personality was a rock-bottom moment. Bobbie signed up for the Recovery Elevator Asia trip. She knew she needed to be sober for 30 days and joined the trip with a little over 30 days of sobriety. She was following the rules versus deciding not to drink. When she returned from Asia, she learned that her biological father and grandmother had passed away within a week of each other. She hosted her father's funeral the day before the world shut down because of COVID. She was at a bar when she got a text about her father's death. She knew she had to decide how to cope with overwhelming emotions. She was afraid to drink because she was concerned, she wouldn't stop. A friend she met on the Asia trip inspired her to achieve a year of sobriety. She realized it was the best year of her life because she started a podcast, opened a second company and was so much more productive without drinking. Bobbie recognizes her journey is dif

Episode 323 – I have to say I feel less isolated in a pandemic than I ever did drinking. It has been so good to go through a pandemic sober. Lauren took her last drink on December 19, 2018. She lives in Canada and is 37 years old. This is her journey of living alcohol free (AF). Shout out to Jeni's ice cream who is one of the sponsors of our Bozeman retreat. https://jenis.com/ Finding Your Better You – Odette's weekly message. Odette reflected on a March NPR article titled, "A sharp, off the charts' rise in alcoholic liver disease among young women. https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2021/03/16/973684753/sharp-off-the-charts-rise-in-alcoholic-liver-disease-among-young-women It's important this article is placed in a bucked about the global crisis, the COVID-19 pandemic. The article referenced a 30-year-old woman who was diagnosed with alcoholic hepatitis. She drank nearly a liter of liquor every evening. Doctors are seeing patients whose drinking has edged up in the last year. In conversations, physicians recognize it's astronomical and life threatening. The survival rate for alcoholic hepatitis and cirrhosis varies but can be as low as ten percent. The CDC has not compiled additional statistics since the pandemic began, however physicians are aware of the upswing as they see more hospitalizations and fatalities. While men have consistently driven the statistics, young women are driving the numbers up. Many are crossing the bridge from normal drinking to problematic drinking. What are the signs? The rock bottom aha moments? Sobriety isn't easy, but Odette is no longer living a double life. Odette wants to do more to help those who are struggling with alcohol addiction. [8:27] Odette introduces Lauren Lauren took her last drink on December 19, 2018 (sobriety date 12/20/2018). She has been sober for 750 days (as of this recording). She has several friends she has met through 12-step programs that are going through the same things. Lauren is from Ontario, Canada and is 37 years old. She lives with her partner and they co-parent his children. They have a cat and are adopting a dog. Lauren is a housing work and helps homeless people in her community which is even more challenging due to COVID. Lauren enjoys running, hiking, reading, art, painting, and travel. Her reading comprehension has improved with sobriety. [14:19] Tell us about your history with drinking? Lauren had a normal childhood and started drinking in high school. She remembers in her last year of high school a friend saying he had never seen her sober outside of school. At the end of University, she knew she had a problem, because she was happier staying at home and drinking the way she wanted to in her room. After school, she moved to a big city and leveraged alcohol as a social lubricant. [16:04] Did you attempt to change aspects of your relationship with alcohol? Lauren knew her drinking was a problem, but thought she was too young to deal with it. She was regularly drunk, hung over and had no money. She did reach out and went to three rebabs, several detoxes and the psych ward. [17:07] What wasn't working during those multiple attempts to quit? When it finally clicked, Lauren realized she had used alcohol to manage her emotions. On December 19, 2018, Lauren said she stopped digging. She called in sick to work for the third day in a row at work. She realized she had three options: 1). Keep going knowing things wouldn't get better; 2) End it all (Lauren had multiple suicide attempts); 3) Stop drinking and give sobriety and honest chance. Once she made that decision, she stopped. It took her six years of trying before it finally clicked. She says, 'don't give up.' She is learning what she is capable of with sobriety. The first month was difficult due to the wreckage of her past, but she now sees it is worth it. [23:06] What worked for you that first month? Lauren said acceptance – it was a miracle. Deep acceptance that she can't drink and letting go of the resentment about not being a 'normal drinker' helped. [24:16] How did you reconcile that feeling? Lauren said for six years the feelings of anger and resentment was insurmountable which is why she kept relapsing. She felt her life was hard and if she couldn't drink in public, she's just drink in private. She likened her relationship to alcohol with a severe peanut allergy. She will die if she drinks. [26:12] What support did you have in the early stages? Lauren said she has been in 12-step recovery on and off. She goes to meetings regularly and has a home group. Her employer is very supportive as well. Her family has also been great. [27:28] How was telling your employer? Many people don't because of the stigma. Lauren said it came up as part of a performance review. She was asked about her future goals and she opened up about her struggle with addiction and her desire to help others with addiction. Her supervisors were surprised, but incredibly supportive. Sobriety became "part of her".

Episode 322 – the hardest part is relaxing into this idea that you can have the most incredibly beautiful moment followed by an incredibly dark moment and that's just the path of life. Marcella took her last drink on September 6, 2018. She lives in San Diego. Marcella lives in the arena and she shares her journey with the world on sobriety, parenting, and authentic Mexican food. She leads from the front in a transparent way that is very inspiring. This is her journey of living alcohol free (AF). Finding Your Better You – Odette's weekly message. Odette reflected on her recent comments about judgement. When we feel judgement creeping up, we need to remind ourselves that person we are judging is a flawed human trying their best … just like me. When we bring judgment into recovery space because someone is doing it differently than we are we invite shame. If we want to help others recover, we need to detach from our shame. We need to manage our own path. Odette referenced an Instagram post from Lara Fraser saying, "nobody gets to define your recovery but you. You don't get to have an opinion on someone else's recovery – that's control. Control brings us closer to our ego and further from our soul's expansion. Odette referenced Demi Lovato who is being criticized for her actions in her path to recovery. The reality is we are meant to stumble, to fall and to have a messy path. When you are in the spotlight – everyone is watching your falls and judging them. Let's give ourselves and each other permission to have our own messy journey and don't explain ourselves to others or worry about judgment. Odette referenced a concept from Brene Brown's book, Dare to Lead. Brene says, the biggest barrier to a safe container is shame. Everybody needs a small, safe place to act and talk about doing hard work. A place where you don't have to be awesome or cool. You need to be un-cool, awkward, and goofy. We should strive to create safe containers where people can ask questions and be heard. Leading by fear and perfectionist cultures does not allow us to create safe containers. Perfection has no room in a safe container. At Recovery Elevator, our goal is to provide a safe container for you. You matter, and we are here for you. [7:33] Odette introduces Marcella This episode was recorded in March which is Women's Month and Odette is excited to have a fellow Mexicana share who is standing in her truth and unapologetically owning her power. Marcella said she is flawed like others and recognizes age helps you realize you only get one shot at this life and you need to live it authentically because if you don't and you continue pleasing others hiding your truth, you get sick and you die. Everything is on the table. Marcella made it clear she is sharing from her own path, perspective and journey. She knows some of her views are unpopular. She comes from a long line of alcoholics and her personal journey to healing is forgetting about labels and boxes while relaxing into the idea that she can forge her own path to what it means to be happy and addiction free. She is living a happy and fulfilled life. She reminds us we are always working on the path of life – often avoiding pain, causes more pain. [12:41] Do you remember the last time you took a drink? Marcella had to look up an event to remember when she took her last drink. A family member she had never seen drunk was inebriated and Marcella had an incredibly negative reaction. She recognized the only way she could control this for herself was to eliminate the external element. Alcohol became an enemy. She didn't tell anyone for weeks or months, not even her husband. Her last drink was on September 6, 2018. She didn't count days until she went back to look at the date which was a family party. She doesn't have any cravings. She was a heavy drinker starting at age fourteen and once she stopped, that was it; the craving was gone. It became easy because not drinking eliminated the anxiety, drama, micro aggressions, and major aggressions from her life. [20:21] What does your day-to-day life look like? Marcella said she doesn't have time to bullsh!t anymore; it takes away time from her goals. She tried AA, but it didn't work for her. She had so many things she wanted to focus on, so alcohol had no place in her life. She was able to identify what made her want to take the edge off with alcohol. It was an association with power and coolness. Facing the darkness, she tried to diminish with alcohol gave her power: the ultimate control of her body and her emotions. It takes a lot of courage to face what is making you want to take that drink. She stopped promoting alcohol in her cooking classes because she didn't want to be part of the marketing machine that tells people they need alcohol to survive. She doesn't want to be a woman selling alcohol to other women. Marcella spoke about being and Adult Child(ren) of an Alcoholic and is proud she has conquered alcohol. The horrible addiction that has be

Episode 321 – Be kind to yourself. It's ok to give yourself as much love as you are giving to someone in active addiction. Give yourself love and grace. It's ok not to be ok. It's ok not to have all the answers. Today's podcast will be a slight departure from our traditional format. Today we will hear from Aimee, who is the wife of one of our members. Aimee will share from the perspective of what it's like to live with someone struggling with alcohol addiction. Aimee is the wife of Kris, one of the members of Café RE. Kris shared his message on episodes 175 and 278. He also does a lot of work for Café RE. Take a listen. Kris stands out by helping others and being of service. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/re-175-anxiety-and-alcohol/ https://www.recoveryelevator.com/re-278-day-one-emotions/ Registration for the Bozeman retreat is open for Café RE members today and will be available for non-members tomorrow. For details, go to: www.recoveryelevator.com/bozeman . Odette's Weekly Message – Finding your better you. Odette is focusing on loved ones. She is an adult child of an alcoholic. She has experienced her own struggles with addiction and married someone who struggles with addiction. When Odette's Dad went into treatment, she was advised by the counselor that the whole family would be impacted. While only one family member has the disease, everyone gets infected at some level. Being a part of the solution for her Dad was a tough spill to swallow. Odette attended Al-Anon to learn how to take care of herself while her Dad was treating his addiction. Odette remembers how scary some of the meetings were because of the number of broken relationships. Her inclination was to try to fix the problem, but she quickly learned she had to get out of the way and learn to take care of herself. She is still learning to detach with love by setting boundaries. [10:33] Odette introduces Aimee. Aimee is 37 and lives in North Dakota with Kris and their two kids. She is a teacher, loves playing piano, singing, and leading worship at her church. [13:45] Tell us about your journey and how you experienced life with Kris. Aimee met Kris her freshman year of college and fell in love right away. She was so enthralled with him; everything seemed normal. Kris was deployed overseas in the military. He would call Aimee and was always drinking when he called home to deal with the stress of deployment. Aimee knew there was a problem. They got married, and when Kris came back from deployment, Aimee got pregnant right away. Kris was deployed again, and Aimee didn't drink because she was pregnant. Kris came home ten days before Ava was born, and they were two different people because of the time apart. Kris's drinking continued to escalate. They went through ups and downs, and Aimee thought things were getting better. Their marriage has been a wild adventure because of moves, career changes, etc. Aimee had a mix of resentment and shame about Kris' drinking. At the height of his drinking, he would turn things around on her to avoid being attacked. As a couple, they tore each other apart. Aimee tried to protect Kris. She would set the alarm so she could pick up the beer cans before the kids got up in the morning. She lied to her pastor about Kris' absences and recognized she was compromising her values. Kris' emotions were intense and amplified when he was hungover. [10:15] Did you start second-guessing yourself? Aimee said she was constantly questioning if she was enough. She took her marriage vows very seriously and started to become a doormat. There was a lot of manipulation. Kris would gaslight Aimee about his drinking, the bank account, and other things. Engaging in church and prayer was instrumental for Aimee. She began to realize that being a martyr or savior wasn't a safe place to be. She couldn't compromise her safety. They went on a road trip, and Kris drove drunk for five hours, and Aimee was overwhelmed and exhausted. Prayer helped her resolve that she couldn't live that way anymore. [22:57] What did you do when you realized you couldn't do it anymore? Aimee said after the road trip, the conversation between them shifted. She begged Kris to get help. He asked her who her lawyer was and said he would never love her enough to quit drinking. It took Aimee a long time to start to forgive him. She didn't believe him anymore, and it took a long time to rebuild trust. [24:13] Was church a source of support for you? Aimee said she couldn't do it on her own. Her church community never told her what she wanted to hear; they told her what she needed to hear. The church encouraged her to focus on herself and her next steps. It was the first time Aimee looked inside and didn't focus on Kris. [26:44] How did you shift from feeling like a victim to looking within? Aimee said the church worked with both of them separately and helped keep them on the same page. Aimee prayed and meditated a lot. Kris surrendered. They both surrendered at different ti

Episode 320 - Keep an open mind and see what happens. Reach out to people, make sober friends, and you are going to find your way. Just let go. Cassie took her last drink on August 29, 2019. She is from Colorado and is 30 years old. This is her story of being Alcohol-Free (AF). Café RE Merch https://www.recoveryelevator.com/merch/ Discount code: PANDA Finding Your Better You – Odette's weekly message Odette has been speaking with many people who got sober and stayed sober during the pandemic. She is amazed and impressed with these folks making major life choices to ditch the booze during a global crisis. Odette wants to remind you …. you can do hard things. As Covid begins to recede, Odette can't help but wonder what post-Covid sobriety will look like? As we return to normal or the new normal, how do we prepare for what's next? Odette likened this to her rehab experience and working with her rehab team to develop a treatment plan when she left rehab. Many people fear leaving rehab because you are going back into the real world without the safety of a controlled, safe space. What does your treatment plan or sobriety toolbox look like for the "new normal" after COVID restrictions have subsided? What boundaries and guidelines do you need to set up for yourself? Proper preparation prevents poor performance – thank you, Odette's Dad, Carlos. Develop a plan to protect your sobriety. [07:53] Odette introduces Cassie Cassie's last drink was August 29, 2019. She is celebrating18 months and switching up some of her tools to maintain sobriety. Cassie leads Café RE's "young people" chat. Odette was recently contacted by a 19-year-old trying to find his place in sobriety. Cassie said it's incredible for someone so young to start a recovery journey. She encouraged all young listeners to keep an open mind, reach out, find sober friends, let go, and you will find your people and your way! [11:12] Tell us a bit of your background. Cassie is 29 years old, living in Denver, and is a receptionist for a urology clinic while pursuing her Bachelor's in nursing. She is doing pre-requisites now. She lives with her boyfriend, recently bought a house, and has two dogs. She loves snowboarding during the winter, paddle boarding, hiking, and rock climbing during the summer and hopes to explore dirt biking soon. [13:14] Tell us about your history with drinking. Cassie had her first drink at thirteen. One of her first memories is stealing peppermint schnapps with a neighbor at her parent's house. She got alcohol poisoning, and her mom sent her to middle school the following day with a hangover. She had to clean up her mess after school. By freshman year of high school, she continued to drink with friends and consumed on the school bus on the way to school. She was suspended for drinking. Before eighteen, she was in legal trouble for drinking and quickly building a party girl's reputation. She was all-in with alcohol; she never drank one or two drinks. She drank to fit in and did not fit in with the nerds or the popular crowd. She would hang out with the skaters, smoke pot, and throw parties at friend's parents' houses when they were out of town. She got into the music scene, particularly raves, and traveled across the US to music festivals to catch different artists. She doesn't remember many of the concerts because she was wasted. [16:28] Were you aware that your drinking was becoming a problem? Cassie said she was not self-aware. She knew she was a troublemaker, but her friends drank like she did. During her formative years, she didn't go to class much. She dropped out of college because partying was her priority. [17:58] How long did that chapter last? Cassie said awhile, probably ten years. She still enjoys music but can now enjoy music sober. [18: 33 ] Did you have to transition into adulting? Cassie was always working during that chapter, and she changed jobs a lot because of the seasons. She started working in the medical field in 2015, and she relaxed her drinking a bit. [19:48] Did anything happen in your life that forced you to grow up a bit? Cassie said getting into the medical field was a real transition. She had to deal with patients and knew she had to be responsible. She was living with friends and wanted to take care of herself and maintain independence. [21:14] How did your relationship with alcohol evolve? Cassie said during the music festival chapter she was binge drinking because there were no rules. She transitioned from being a binge drinker to having beers after work and being a weekend warrior. Her drinking eventually got out of hand. She was only drinking on the weekends, and she tried to moderate. She leveraged the gym to keep her AF during the week. Moderation didn't work for Cassie. One of her roommates, a dear friend, passed away in a kayaking accident. She believes it may have been alcohol-related. It became a big turning point for Cassie. Her other roommates drank heavily to cope with the shock and grief. Ca

Episode 319 - When I was stressed out at work or stressed by a social situation, alcohol would fix it temporarily, until it didn't. Now I'm accepting moods, feelings and phases come and go and it's all okay. Korie took her last drink on March 21, 2019. She is from Texas and is 32 years old. This is her story of living alcohol-free (AF). A request from Recover Elevator We have a request; we would like to hear more from you! Please consider making a one-minute video sharing your, "you might need to ditch the booze if… story". Hold your camera sideways, make it less than a minute and send it to: [email protected]. Make it authentic to yourself and your journey. We will post your video on Instagram. If you share your Instagram handle, we will post that as well. We look forward to seeing more of you on our page. Instagram: @recovery elevator. Finding Your Better You – Odette's weekly message Rediscovering your life beyond recovery. You are all unique. We are more than a drinking problem; we are more than recovery. The life we now enjoy would disappear if we returned to drinking. It is easy to feel uniqueness –submerged in recovery. In sobriety we don't know when things will get better, but they do. Sobriety is a piece of your whole life. We all have the opportunity to learn and re-learn who we are. Maintenance is important to secure your sobriety. If you stay the course, you get to graduate. You always focus on maintaining sobriety, but it's not all day every day, it becomes a piece of your broader life. There are so many benefits to being present in sobriety – you can have your cake and eat it too. [8:12] Odette introduces Korie Korie said her last drink was 3/21/19. She grew up in Austin, Texas and is 32 years old. Korie was abroad and lived in Japan and Singapore and came to the US when she was 6 years old. She is engaged and just bought a home outside of Austin. Pre-quarantine, Korie was a social butterfly. Now, she stays home more than she used to and loves getting outside, running, reading, drawing and anything artsy. [11:46] Tell us about your history with drinking. Korie doesn't remember her first drink of alcohol. She would have a sip or two of her Mom's wine and thought it was disgusting. In high school she was in a few programs that required her to sign a contract saying she wouldn't drink or party. She followed the rules. In college she remembers drinking, getting dizzy, self-control was gone, and she didn't want it to stop because she liked the feeling. She didn't drink often. She worked in the restaurant industry which breeds lots of drinking. It felt normal, until it didn't. When she graduated from college, she moved to Spain to become an Au Pair and drank a lot there. She remembers staying out all night, being hung over and thinking she may have a problem and her drinking wasn't normal. The nightlife continued when she returned to the US. She remembers getting drunk, getting sick and making bad decisions? [15:13] What thoughts were you having about your drinking? Korie felt pretty justified because she judged her drinking based on what other people were doing. She knew it wasn't who she wanted to be It started to feel not right. When she left the restaurant industry, she recognized it wasn't normal to drink every night. She had a broader circle of friends to compare herself to. She was working as a virtual concierge and was calling in to work, saying she was working from home, but just too hungover to go in. She realized she was still drinking like she had in her twenties. She never wants to experience an emotional rock bottom again. [18:46] Did you ever talk to anyone about your drinking? Korie said a former boyfriend spoke to her about her drinking. She got defensive and thought he was a bit paranoid. Looking back, she realizes he was right to be concerned. At 24, Korie verbalized concerns to her best friend, but kept drinking. She started asking questions to people who went to AA. [20:48] Did you ever attempt moderation? Korie took a few weeks off of drinking before she stopped altogether. On March 21 she had three glasses of wine and realized she couldn't stop. She knew the urge was so great and knew she was powerless over the urge. She stopped then and that was it, she was done. [22:40] Have you asked yourself why you drank or why it was so hard to stop? Korie said it was a variety of things, but the feeling of not belonging and trying to numb that feeling was at the top of the list. Toward the latter part of her drinking, she began to feel less than when comparing herself to her friends and alcohol helped … until it didn't. Korie's self-esteem has substantially improved since she quit drinking. Her skin is clearer, she feels healthier, happier and she isn't so self-conscious anymore. When Korie was stressed out at work or stressed by a social situation, alcohol would fix it temporarily, until it didn't. Now she is accepting moods, feelings and phases come and go and it's all okay. K

Episode 318 - No matter what comes your way, you are exactly where you are supposed to be. So, live with it, don't try to change it and do the next right thing. Tony took his last drink on October 24, 2020. He is a 42-year-old Canadian. This is his story of living alcohol-free (AF) Finding Your Better You – Odette's weekly message Recently Odette has been asking listeners, what is a perk of getting sober? The answers have included, no hangovers, improved sleep, wallet and overall health. Odette also asked listeners about the ripple effect, the not so obvious outcomes of living AF. The responses included: Ability to manage my finances Ability to help others who are struggling Stronger and more meaningful relationships I am present and more productive participant of my life I understand and feel gratitude I am more aligned with the person I work so hard to be I am a better employee Building confidence Better hand-eye coordination Path of emotional discovery Running and being active Understanding my authentic identity and not being so self-conscious when sharing my authentic self with the world I learned to ski Anything is possible when you are not hungover Patient Nicer House is cleaner Tackling projects New friends People in sobriety are not boring, they are cool and fun Repairing relationships Procrastinate less Better parent, more firm, able to hold boundaries and be kinder More playful Don't need a shield (glasses) to hide anymore I'm a morning person I have fun I binge eat less I'm proud I am more organized Sobriety tools become life tools that help us become better versions of ourselves. Odette is more forgiving of herself and others. Her standards, for herself and others have changed. She is less of a perfectionist. She has more grace toward herself and others. She is more connected to her humanity and doing her best, day by day. She says what she really means, vs what she thinks she needs to say. She is okay with not being liked by everyone and aware of her tendency to be a people pleaser. What are your unexpected perks of sobriety? [8:50] Odette introduces Tony. Tony took his last drink on October 24, 2020. He is from St. Paul, Alberta, Canada. Has 3 children: a son (18), a daughter (15), a daughter (10) and a stepson (23). He is currently a full-time student since his career came to a halt when he entered rehab last year. Tony enjoys anything outdoors, particularly tobogganing, snowboarding, skiing …anything outside. He is currently separated from his wife. [12:34] Tell us about your history with drinking. Tony lost Mom when he was 13 in a tragic car accident. His first drink was shortly after that and by15 he remembers getting blackout drunk. Drinking made him feel bullet-proof. It helped him avoid the pain of grief. He did well in school, he was an honors student. After graduating from high school, he followed his Dad's working on the road. He would binge drink occasionally. He got into the oilfield business. He said, you earn a lot of money, work hard and play hard. When he was on the road, he and his colleagues would party. His drinking was normalized because everyone did it. He and his high school girlfriend had a son. When he returned home, his drinking was chaotic. He drank more, passed out regularly. His drinking felt normalized, because everyone was doing it. His Dad offered him a job as a crew supervisor. He was trying to taper his drinking because his son was around, and his daughter was on the way. As he went into management he isolated more, which led to drinking when he got back to his hotel. He would average 5-6 beers a night. He also began engaging with other women while he was on the road. He got caught and within four months, his girlfriend was done with him. He immediately jumped into another relationship; it was perfect because they both drank to excess. His drinking continued to escalate. [18:02] You have mentioned your drinking was normalized. Did you have conversations with yourself about your drinking? Tony said he believed his behavior was normal. He followed his father's example. He saw his Dad as the best Dad in the world, his Dad never brought his problems home or drank after work. Tony went to more extremes than his father. He needed the alcohol to feel normal. [19:46] How did your relationship unfold? Tony was married within seven months and he got married to spite his first girlfriend who was the mother of his first two children. They welcomed a child after a year. Within 14 months, his wife asked for a divorce. He entered a 12-step program to save his marriage, but it about saving the relationship, not his own development. His wife filed for divorce and he went back to work on the drilling rigs. He went home and his doctor started him on Ativan. He drove home, blacked out and was in a head on collision with a semi-truck. He lost his arm in that accident. His wife never came to the hospital. He was devastated, but his drinking ramped up. Tony started looking for a rela

Episode 317 - Lean into the support from people who want to help you. Dig into yourself. There is an endless well of spirit, heart, and capacity that we all have. We just need to tap into it—everything you need you have. Lunita took her last drink on October 10, 2020. She is from San Diego. This is her story of living alcohol-free (AF) BetterHelp Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR. Finding Your Better You – Odette's weekly message There is a myth of sobriety, that sobriety is not fun. Odette finds joy when people debunk this myth. Some of her favorite badass sober stories include: Bradley Cooper – sober at 29 years old. He attributes his career success to his sobriety. Brad Pitt – credits his sobriety to Bradley Cooper. Florence Welsh – sobriety does not doom you to boredom. David Lloyd George, British Prime Minister in the early 1900's, backed the licensing bill. Dax Shepherd says he wouldn't have anything he has without his sobriety. His guests and podcast sponsors are a lot of fun. Anthony Hopkins recently hit 45 years, sober saying, "Hang in there. Today is the tomorrow you were so worried about yesterday. Young- people, don't give up. Just keep in there" Cristiano Ronaldo, a Portuguese soccer player, is sober. His father passed from alcohol abuse, and Cristiano has changed his life trajectory and is a role model of sobriety for his family. Al Pacino, Jamie Lee Curtis, Robert Downey, Jr., Eminem, Chrissy Teigen, Keith Urban, Kelly Osbourne, Ben Affleck, Gillian Jacobs, James Franco, John Travolta, Shakira, J.Lo, Stephen King, Eva Mendes, Tom Cruise, Natalie Portman, Elton John, Zac Efron, Tyra Banks, Daniel Radcliffe, Demi Lovato, Chris Martin (Coldplay) among many others are on the sober team. We are not alone, we are not boring, quite the contrary. Sobriety is the gateway to authenticity. How do you feel about joining the alcohol-free club and staying in it with us? [8:57] Odette Introduces Lunita Lunita is Latina like Odette. She hit reset on October 10, 2020. She is an American-born bi-cultural person from San Diego and a single mom. Her father is from Panama, and her mother is from Mexico. Her daughters are 9 and 11. She is a yoga teacher and healing arts practitioner. She loves nature, plant medicine, yoga, and she is a poet, writer, painter and loves anything to do with arts and the body. [11:42] Tell us about your history with drinking? Lunita took her first drink at 14 in Mexico, where the lines are a little more blurred. As she looks back at that time, drinking gave her a sense of calm and inner knowing that she had never felt before. Her nervous system was soothed by alcohol. She was a highly sensitive child, and her parents didn't know how to manage her gifts. She drank through her teenage years into her twenties. Occasionally she would blackout. She liked drinking. She said alcohol took her from a highly sensitive introvert to a comfortable, fun drunk. It awakened her artistic side. She didn't want to stop because it was fun. Fast forward, Lunita got pregnant, got married, had two children, and drinking became her coping mechanism for managing parenting as a young adult. She was a part of the mommy wine culture. She realized she was drinking every night. After she and her husband separated, her drinking became dark. She drank every night while trying to hold it together for work and her daughters. She hated her life and felt terrible and disconnected from herself every day. Her husband and best friend made comments about her drinking, but she didn't want to stop. Drinking became a medication, a chemical dependency. Alcohol was sinking Lunita. In her thirties, she was cornered by a cousin, then her best friend who caught her sneaking drinks or blacking out. [17:19] How did you respond to the comments from other people? Lunita said she was telling herself it was ok. She would get defensive or appease others with slogans like "mommy happy hour" "5 o'clock somewhere". She was presentable, so she didn't think there was a problem. She found herself being very inconsistent. She was eating clean, practicing yoga, running, drinking green smoothies, but drinking every night. She was aware of the dissonance, but she still didn't want to stop drinking. [20:52} Tell me about the shift within you. Lunita said she started drinking hard liquor instead of beer or wine because she could get drunk faster, with fewer calories. Her body reacted right away. The hangovers became worse, she lost her appetite, and the fun of drinking turned into darkness. She began to experience rock bottom moments in relationships or at work. She was no longer in denial but wasn't sure what to do. Four years ago, her friend said, "you've got to do something." She was sober for two years. Since then, she's had some resets. She knew it was

Episode 316 – When I get an urge or a craving, I'll be better next time this creeps up. Paul took his last drink on February 29, 2020. He is from Long Island and is 30 years old. This is his story of living alcohol-free (AF). Today's sponsor is Firebrew. They are also sponsoring our Bozeman retreat. https://www.mindyourmanna.co/ Discount Code: RE10off Finding Your Better You – Odette's weekly message What is the difference between being sober and being in recovery? The definition of sobriety is the condition of not having any measurable levels or effects from alcohol or other drugs. Sobriety is also considered to be the natural state of a human being at birth. Recovery signifies you know you have a problem and are trying to fix it. It doesn't mean you resolve your issues right away. You recognize something is wrong, which is a critical part of getting help. https://7summitpathways.com/blog/what-does-it-mean-in-recovery/#:~:text=What%20Being%20in%20Recovery%20Means,synonymous%20with%20%E2%80%9Cin%20remission.%E2%80%9D When you are in recovery, you feel a kinship to others in recovery, make decisions based on how they will impact your recovery, adjust friendships and relationships based on how they affect recovery, and never let down your guard. Can you be sober and not in recovery? Yes, abstaining is the first part. A recovery mindset allows you to grow and develop your self-awareness. It helps you question your relationships and boundaries. Recovery is for everyone. You don't have to be an "alcoholic." Recovery is about being open to change and adjustments in your life – asking for help. Many of us abstain for some time before we are ready for recovery. The recovery mindset allows for growth, new connections, and community. Are you ready to step into the arena of recovery? We are here and ready for you. [7:43] Odette introduces Paul Paul took his last drink on February 29, 2020. He is from Long Island, NY, and lives in Brooklyn. He is a Physical Education teacher and a personal trainer. He trains for fun, is getting into karate, and likes getting out into nature, which isn't easy in Brooklyn. Paul opened his training business during COVID. He leveraged COVID as an opportunity to pivot the world of fitness and adapt to the new normal. Paul started drinking toward the end of high school. Cannabis was his first substance, not alcohol. When he went to college, his drinking dialed up. In his mid 20's cannabis wasn't helping anymore, so his drinking escalated and became a problem. As Paul reflects, his Dad overdosed when he was twelve, and his mother now has twelve years of sobriety. Childhood issues contributed to his desire to numb out. His substance abuse was a symptom of early childhood trauma. [12:23] How was your childhood? Were you trying to cope or escape from tragedy? Paul said he is an extrovert. He is open about his childhood experiences. It helps him to open up. When Paul's mom re-married and had a baby, postpartum depression kicked in, and she shut out the world by drinking. Paul said he was naïve and tried to take the bottle away from his mom. He frequently cared for his brother. His stepdad lost his temper with his mom's drinking, leading to his stepdad's arrest. Ultimately, his mom checked into treatment and now has 12 years of sobriety. Paul leveraged boxing as a way to escape and found solace in fitness. [16:33] Did you notice that you developed a care-taking aspect of your personality? Yes, Paul is a caretaker, particularly with the fitness routine and teaching elementary school. He goes out of his way to help people. [18:12] Our families can recover together. Do you think about changing the trajectory of your ancestry? Paul said a driving factor for him was seeing the lows his mom experienced when drinking, and he knew he didn't want that for himself or his kids. Paul sees two sides to the coin. Life is not easy. Addiction is not a surprise; it can harden you. You have to find the why and the bigger picture to overcome addiction. His last drink was the first confirmed case of COVID in NYC [21:02] Tell me about the progression of fitness and drinking in your life. Paul went back a bit and said he experimented with other drugs in college, and they began to play a role in his life. His mom always reminded him that addiction ran in the family. When Paul did a semester abroad in England, his substance abuse became a problem. He played rugby, but his drinking took over. When he returned to the US, he started bartending, drinking, and doing cocaine. Within six months, he lost his best friend to an overdose, then his Uncle to a drunk driver. He didn't realize he was drinking through his grief. He wasn't responsible. He lost his bartending job and ran out of money. He had to move back home. After a fight with his mom, he went out drinking, got a DWI, and was locked up for 24 hours, which was a rock bottom for him. He turned things around and started applying to graduate programs and was accepted by a n

– I can't even imagine picking up a drink to solve something anymore. It doesn't even cross my mind. Kate took her last drink on August 11, 2018. She is 42 and lives in New Jersey. This is her story of living alcohol-free (AF). Today's sponsor is Better Help. Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR. Finding Your Better You – Odette's weekly message Odette has been thinking about the process of change. When she is having a down day, she wonders, am I doing recovery right? Am I making progress? Is the work worth it? It's muddy and contradictory, particularly with our labeling minds. We think bad days mean we are doing something wrong, and negative emotions are guides in the wrong direction. On hard days, Odette uses more tools, which probably means she is making more progress. Holly Whittaker posted on her Instagram page a sketch that highlights the Hourglass of Change. It shows there is a range of emotions from start to goal. Odette thinks we need to learn to appreciate the hourglass of change, label-less, and accept more. Negative emotions have a place in our chapter of change. When Odette looks for peace instead of euphoria and moves gently with her feelings, she remembers compassion is critical. We need to have compassion for ourselves and others. Let us remember that we are all on the same path, wanting to connect with others and feel like we belong. If sobriety is kicking you in the butt right now, don't be so hard on yourself. Take it as a sign of progress. You are on the right track. You are right where you are supposed to be. [7:30] Odette introduces Kate Kate took her last drink on August 11, 2018. She is 42, lives in New Jersey, and works for Recovery Elevator. Kate said she was born and raised in New Jersey. She, her husband Jay, and their cats keep life interesting. Kate works in the art world. She is crafty and knits, sews, and cross stitches. She loves to exercise and get outside. [8:54] Give listeners some background on your history with drinking Kate said she took her first drink at 14. She was severely inebriated and blacked out. The only other time she drank in high school, she blacked out. Kate went to college in Pennsylvania, and drinking was part of the culture. She was in a sorority, and everyone drank on the weekends. Her drinking seemed normal and what everyone was doing. After college, she started to notice some demons. Kate recalled in early childhood being asked to sit on the choir director's lap at church and kiss him. She was taught to respect her elders. Looking back, she realizes her life then took an awkward turn. She developed an eating disorder. When she started drinking, the eating disorder went away. In college, she became the ultimate party girl. She worked in galleries and auction houses, and drinking was encouraged. She moved to the UK in 2007 and was there for four years. She contrasted the drinking culture in the UK versus New York. Kate knew she had found her people. Her drinking ramped up. After her divorce, she would drink to obliteration with vodka. She learned geographic changes don't work. [12:51] Odette asked what was going on in her brain about her drinking. Kate said she knew from her first drink that she shouldn't drink. Alcoholism runs in her family. Her father has five years of sobriety. Every day was a struggle to continue keeping up appearances and be a high-functioning professional while drinking copious amounts of alcohol at night. 14:10 Did you talk to anyone about your eating disorder, drinking, or what happened during your childhood? Kate said she was raised in a family where appearance meant everything. It went to the extreme that she and her siblings were wearing matching outfits for every holiday. Kate believes the 3 of them were struggling with who they are. Kate told her mother about the choir director, and she didn't believe her. Her friend's mother found out about what was happening and sat down with Kate and talked it through. The kissing stopped, but she had to stay in the choir and see him weekly. At 14, the choir director turned it back on her in front of the entire chorus. She was embarrassed as a teenager. As an adult, she is mortified that it was allowed to happen. [16:37] Tell me more about what happened when you were in the UK? Kate said she moved back to the US because she was engaged to another man. When she lived in the UK, she was sexually assaulted by someone she was dating. This became a turning point. Within six months, she fled back to New York and got a job at a gallery. She then met another man who was a master manipulator, and they would drink a lot together. During Hurricane Sandy, they were stuck together. She tried to break up with him, and he would manipulate his way back. Kate's drinking escalated due to the confusion associated w

Gregg took his last drink 26 years ago (November 6th, 1994). This is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Bozeman registration opens March 1st to Café RE members. On March 6th registration opens to all. You can find more details about the event here. Trust us… you don't want to miss this! Odette's weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You It's been a little bit of time since the 1st of the year. Those resolutions we all made might now be changing from determination and drive and into a place of the unknown. If you've stuck with your resolution, you are far enough in that you can't see where you started but the end isn't in focus yet. Not knowing how the outcome will play out can be scary. When we ask "what is going to happen?" it blocks our ability to function today and in the now. Things will work out, if we let them. [7:52] Odette introduces Gregg. Gregg lives in Los Angeles. He is married and has two amazing daughters. For a living he is a recovery coach and also owns a few sober living facilities. He is an advisor in many startups as well. For fun he likes to body surf, skateboard and eats ice cream (mint chocolate chip!). [12:20] Can you give listeners some background on your story? Gregg's father was killed in a drunk driving accident when he was 4 years old. From a young age he understood the power of alcohol. Being raised by a single mother he always felt different. He grew up as a bully because he was scared and sensitive. Around 12/13 he discovered pot and alcohol. That "medicine" took away his shame and pain. As an adult he started with a pattern of drinking, leading to cocaine, leading to pot, leading to bad decisions. Between 22 and 25 he was arrested 8 times. He got into the drug trade and while it provided a "nice life" there was overwhelming amounts of shame regarding his life choices, and he was eventually arrested with 50 lbs of pot. The judge gave him another chance, but he was arrested again 18 days later. In the cell the next morning he heard a voice that said, "call your mother". She told him to go to church and while there he went to confession. Unbeknownst to Gregg, the priest he gave confession to was his step fathers first sponsor in AA. He went to AA that evening. [24:39] How were those 90 meetings in 90 days for you? Gregg said he was accountable because he had a court card. At first he was just looking to "get the heat off". Around day 30 the pink cloud appeared, and he felt clear headed and healthy. He found connection with some people in AA. The boxing lessons also helped his life balance. When he got sober in 1994, there were not a lot of people in their 20s doing the same thing. He lost a lot of friendships in the process. [30:47] What bigger motivations did you have to stay the course? Gregg said he had a good work ethic overall. So he had the desire to succeed. He chose to put what would be been drinking time into his passion. He would write scripts rather than going out. It was 8 extra hours a week he put towards something he loved, which helped him to change the mindset around his life. He never would have had the career he had if he didn't put that time towards his passion. [36:02] How have you transformed and processed the pain you had in your early years? Gregg said he had done step 4 through 4 times. Someone in a meeting saw that he was blocked and told him to unpack the "backpack of shame". Through this process he was able to explore other things he had left off his previous step work. Gregg uncovered, discovered and discarded, which allowed him to fully open and find relief. "Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past can change" – Oprah [41:21] Do you still get any cravings? Gregg said the obsessions to drink and use has left him, the obsession to obsess has not. If he doesn't do the work on other obsessions, they will ruin his life just like drugs and alcohol did. He will go back to step 1 and apply it to whatever obsession is holding him at that time. [43:00] What are you excited about right now? Gregg said he really likes connection and he's excited about recovery. Finding other connections through recovery. He's excited to come out of covid and what that might look like. He's excited about his podcast "The Recovery Playbook" Find it here on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. [48:00] Rapid Fire Round What would you say to your younger self? Drugs and alcohol are a waste of time. Time is the most precious commodity we have. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Mint chocolate chip What book are you reading right now? Epic which is about how we are all connected through our stories. Everyone has a story. What parting piece of guidance would you give to listeners thinking about ditching the booze? Remain willing to be willing. You may have to say adios to booze if... because you will die. Tomorrow or 20 years from now. The disease of alcoholism is undefeated. Odette's weekly challenge: Stay grounded in the present moment. Some of he

Bonus Episode – Odette and Paul answer listeners questions I still find it difficult that my husband drinks every day. I don't know why it makes me feel angry inside, but I do all the time when he drinks. How can I approach this? Odette said, stay on your lane. The more you focus on him, the less you will focus on your healing and your journey. In learning about yourself and healing yourself, you can start to implement boundaries and assert your needs vs. obsess over how much he is drinking. Therapy helps. Pull your energies back to yourself. What do you suggest I do when friends and family seem uncomfortable around me when I say I don't drink? Paul said you can get started on 2.0 version of your life. So much more is packed into this than just quitting drinking. You are stepping out of the norm, roles, identities, and labels in your family. Learn to set boundaries, overcome the need to please. Give it time, and they're watching. This doesn't mean they aren't supportive. They are on their own journey as well. What are the plans for Recovery Elevator (RE)? What is in the works? The podcast will evolve to include additional voices. Paul will return in some capacity. Retreats (Rustic Retreats, like Bozeman, Hotel events, retreat centers, and AF travel). A Retreat Center is contemplated. A Rat Park experiment, an in-person community, is being considered. (insert link) How did you best handle your early days of an alcohol-free life? What practices do you use now daily? Odette has used different tools but consistently exercises, sees a therapist, stays connected via on-line chats and in-person meet-ups that are COVID safe. Paul said the most challenging and most rewarding experience in his life was quitting drinking. Paul left Bozeman for his first month of sobriety because there were too many triggers. He took long walks for 30 days, particularly to a fantastic waterfall. As his recovery evolved, he is mindful of the interchange. He goes to his internal connection, and the outside triggers stopped affecting him. He found some inner peace. If you could trade your life now for being able to drink like a normal person magically, would you? Odette said, no, senor! In the first few years, Paul said he had thoughts of drinking, and he was in the victim role – longing for the old days when he could drink normally. Now his energy has changed, and his life now has no space for alcohol or drinking. I hear in AA all of the time that those who don't go to meetings regularly are sure to go back out and drink. Odette said the opposite of addiction is connection. It's a great time to be sober with virtual meetings, sober curious groups, courses, and friends who are always focused on learning and being better. Paul said there are infinite ways to Ditch the Booze. Paul's buddies have ditched the booze, and AA was not part of their journey. He believes the community is vital to long-term sobriety. It doesn't have to be AA – and humans are social animals. I'm in my second year of sobriety. The first year was a lot of filling my toolbox and learning how to survive without alcohol. When in your journey did you start to thrive and live your best life. What steps did you take to embrace the new you and live out loud? Paul said nothing was thriving when he was drinking. Some parts of his life started to thrive nearly immediately when he quit drinking. Within 14 days, he felt better. The spiritual component of his life has become vital to him. He is more tethered and can weather emotional storms. Today chaos, while momentary, ultimately leads to thriving for Paul. Odette said her definition of thriving has changed. She goes within. Thriving is about peace, knowing herself, and understanding the reality of co-existing with others. It's not about the perfect Instagram profile. Odette thrives even on her dip days. Her growing pains lead to thriving. Do you think there is a risk of a substance leading me back to alcohol? Have your own experiences (or, for that matter, any new research on the potential benefits of psychedelics)? How has your experience informed you? Paul said Dr. David Nutt (2011 UK) said alcohol is the most addictive drug and causes the most devastating effects on society. Number 20 was magic mushrooms. Paul's experiences with plant medicines have been non-addictive. In the right setting, they do not lead to a return to alcohol. The right setting is critical. Guided therapy sessions will help the intense inner work. What were your best strategies to avoid or minimize the tendency to romanticize the days of yore in the early days of sobriety? Odette said, play the tape forward. Romanticizing is just an illusion. She remembers not to give up what she wants for that drink. Paul described the ism and euphoric recall. Its why women continue to have babies. They don't accurately remember the pain. Paul's memory was about playing football. The mind has 60-70K thoughts a day, and most of them are wrong. Questioning your thoughts is

Carolyn took her last drink on February 22, 2019. This is her story of living alcohol-free (AF). Finding Your Better You – Odette's weekly message. Dehumanizing Others. After listening to Brene Brown, Odette loved Brene's challenge of not engaging in dehumanizing others. We can't change the world if we continue dehumanizing others. Odette was also reading Pema Chodron's new book and concluded that polarization is most problematic when we dehumanize people. Habitually dehumanizing others about politics or behavior or clothing isn't good. Minor differences in habits and preferences keep us fundamentally separate from others. The division exists everywhere, even in recovery. Odette has observed others judging other's approaches to recovery. We judge people for NA beer or not drinking NA beer, AA or no AA. We continue to create division instead of closing the gaps. Pema Chodron has a practice called "just like me." Just like me, this person doesn't want to be uncomfortable. Just like me, this person loses it sometimes. Just like me, this person wants friends and intimacy. Focus on the similarities, not the differences. You can have boundaries without dehumanizing others. [7:35] Odette introduces Carolyn Carolyn took her last drink on February 22, 2019. She lives in Wisconsin and is 34 years old. She lives in Wisconsin, is single, no kids, and has fun with her German shepherd pup. Carolyn loves drawing, painting, murals, golf, snowboarding, camping, hiking, etc. She works as a graphic artist. Living in the polar vortex of Wisconsin can be challenging, but it makes her appreciate the seasons more. [11:01] Tell me about your history with drinking Carolyn started drinking when she was 14 years old (2000). She would drink on the weekends and look forward to drinking. It was a big part of her identity and made her feel cool and accepted. Carolyn's drinking ramped up when she went to college. She worked in a restaurant and played rugby and had lots of opportunities to drink. Drinking continued to be a significant part of her identity. She met her significant other in 2008, and they were drinking buddies, a party couple. She knew something was off but wasn't sure what it was. [13:30] Did you start questioning if alcohol was a problem at that time? Carolyn didn't see alcohol as a problem initially, but she was aware that several areas of her life were not jiving. Looking back, she can see many events and relationships influenced by alcohol, but she didn't see it at the moment. [14:49] Were you rationalizing your drinking as something sophisticated? At her college graduation, she was surrounded by friends and family. She was drunk, and her boyfriend proposed. She said yes, even though she knew something was off. She has a lot of internal conflicts. She leveraged alcohol to help her numb her feelings. The marriage ended because she couldn't move the relationship forward. After her divorce, she was drinking after work every night. She found it wasn't fun anymore. She started to develop anxiety at 22. Her drinking was no longer fun, party drinking – it was maintenance drinking. Had she not had the lull in 2014, she would not have had the tipping point [18:32] Did you talk to a friend or a therapist about your struggles? Carolyn knew her drinking wasn't healthy, but she was still in denial. She brainwashed herself into believing she was a fun party-girl. She didn't see herself as an alcoholic. She began to realize she had a problem after her divorce. [20:21] Walk me through what happened from 2014 to February 2019. Carolyn said her drinking progressed. Her anxiety was crippling, and she would drink when she got home. After a visit with his sister, her brother-in-law mentioned he hadn't had a drink for two weeks. She thought that was crazy. She knew she hadn't gone two weeks without drinking ever. She stumbled upon the "are you an alcoholic" quiz. She had a few three-week breaks over the years, and she could feel the fog lift; her anxiety would lessen. She returned to drinking because she couldn't handle her social life without alcohol. In 2018, she had to be on medication for a month. She was advised not to drink while on the drug but drank anyway. It was a terrifying realization for her. She knew at then she had to take her drinking seriously. [25:19] Sometimes, our "best" looks different. It sounds like you had a real mental shift. Carolyn said it wasn't until she got scared that she decided to take it seriously. She is now thankful for the hardships that led to her tipping point. She listened to the Recovery Elevator podcast and heard about Annie Grace's book, This Naked Mind. She quit drinking the next day. She reads a lot of self-help and memoirs and credits Annie's book with changing her life. [28:36] How were your first few weeks alcohol-free? Carolyn said she was anxious and sweaty during week one. She didn't sleep well for three weeks and was emotionally sensitive. She would burst into tears at any given moment. She

Holly took her last drink on January 4, 2007. This is her story of living alcohol-free (AF). Finding Your Better You – Odette's weekly message. Odette and Holly met in treatment. In 2013, they went to Montecatini together to work on their eating disorders. Odette believed that if she could stop her obsession with food and reach a healthy weight, she would be normal. However, she didn't address the emotional reasons behind her eating disorder. A few years later, she found herself using alcohol as her new coping mechanism. The behaviors that led to her unhealthy relationship with food mirrored the behaviors of her relationship with alcohol. Up to 35% of people who abused alcohol also have an eating disorder. This rate is 11 times greater than the general population. For more information on these statistics, see: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/ The stigma for eating disorders is greater than the stigma for alcohol use disorder, so many people struggle in silence. Odette believes the only way out is through. Get to the root cause of your addiction. Be aware of co-occurring addictions. Don't run away from your feelings or numb them with a substance. Find a community. Get professional help. When seeking help, be specific. Find a therapist specializing in addiction, whether it is alcohol, food, drugs, or whatever else. Get specific. Don't feel perpetually stuck in addiction whack-a-mole. We can do hard things. [9:14] Odette introduces Holly Holly took her last drink on January 4, 2007. Holly is from Montana. She moved to Southern California over 15 years ago for graduate school. She currently works for Mental Health Systems as an employment specialist, helping those with behavioral health issues get employment. On the weekends, she works for a rehab in San Diego as a rehab specialist. Holly has fun playing games. Codeword is her latest favorite. She also enjoys listening to books, music and hanging out with her dog Hannay. [11:56] Tell me about your history with drinking Holly started experimenting with alcohol in college. She grew up in a conservative home. She was allowed to drink with adults present, but her family was traditional with alcohol use. Holly didn't drink in high school. She was a rule follower. Her drinking took off when she was 21, when it was legal and escalated after her engagement. She attended Fuller Theological Seminary, intending to become a Presbyterian minister. She drank heavily every day and hid her drinking. [13:39] Did you start questioning your drinking habits at that time? When Holly lived in Montana, she drank like everyone else. When she moved to California, she would order two drinks at a time and was starting to understand that wasn't normal. She needed a drink before she went out and then went home afterward to drink alone. She isolated and that isolation led to depression. Alcohol exacerbated the depression. Toward the end of her drinking, she was put on several psychiatric holds (5150). [15:17] Were you rationalizing your drinking as something sophisticated? On paper, Holly was very functional. She was a straight-A student, on the Dean's list, she held to part-time jobs. She aced Hebrew. [16:40] Did you have a therapist? Was your therapist able to discern the alcohol issues from the depression issues? Holly had a therapist and kept drinking. She hid her drinking from her therapist. She was annoyed that her therapist occasionally suggested her attending a meeting. [17:33] Walk me through the progression of your drinking. Holly noted that two years after moving to California, she couldn't stop drinking. She would wake up in the morning and drink to recover from the night before. She also struggled with an Eating disorder. Alcohol was the only calories she could keep in her body. She was physically and mentally depleting. She had suicidal ideations and felt if she got rid of herself, she would solve the problems she caused others. She had several suicide attempts due to alcohol, poor nutrition, and depression. [18:58] How long did that cycle last? Holly's drinking continued for two years. On January 3, her therapist said she didn't sound right and told her to go immediately to the hospital. Holly knew she couldn't drive, so she walked toward the hospital. She consumed a pint of Vodka, a handful of Xanax and was mugged on the way to the hospital. She went missing for several hours. The Pasadena police called her Mom in Montana asking, are you Mom? They told her Mom they couldn't find Holly. When Holly came to, she walked back to her apartment that has search dogs and an ambulance. She was placed on a 72-hour psych hold, which became a 14-day hold. She was released early because her Dad came down from Montana to take her to rehab. [21:02] How many holds did you have? Holly said, five or six, and she was still in denial. She was in rehab for 97 days, and it took her until Day 45 to acknowledge she had a bit of a drinking problem. She admitted to depression and an eating dis

Emmy took her last drink on December 8, 2019. This is her story of living alcohol free (AF). Finding Your Better You – Odette's weekly message. Odette spoke about a personal and very sensitive issue: she is an Adult Child of an Alcoholic. She took charge of her recovery but recently identified some behaviors and coping mechanisms she was hoping to skip over that are rooted in her early years growing up in an alcoholic home. Odette realized she had been stuck in a pattern of self-sabotage for years in many aspects of her life, some more dangerous than others. Self-sabotage showed up in her relationships with friends, at school, and with her husband. While Odette doesn't like the label of being an adult child of an alcoholic, she has come to realize she can't wish the consequences away. Pain in our families makes our emotional state a bit disheveled. We live waiting for the other shoe to drop. We were guarded and untrusting. This state became our normal: the feeling that something is wrong all of the time. Odette is focused on understanding the impact self-sabotage has on her behavior. She is practicing new behaviors. She is working on making small shifts – to see things differently. No matter how destructive our behavior has been in the past, we can experience new ways of being. [9:38] Odette introduces Emmy Emmy took her last drink on December 8, 2019. She is from Fort Worth, Texas, and she is 30 years old. Emmy is a recreational therapist who works with children and adults with various disabilities. She is single, no kids, and lives with her five-year-old dog Petey. She has fun participating in her recovery, getting to know who she is, and learning to become her own friend. [13:06] Can you give listeners some background on your history with drinking? Emmy said she started drinking around 16 or 17. She was at a friend's house where somebody had brought over a bottle of alcohol mixed with Propel and thought it was cool. She remembers the first sip giving her this sort of warm feeling inside and thinking, 'nothing bad can ever happen with this.' She kept that routine going every weekend as a teenager. When she went to college, she found an excuse to drink every night, whether trivia night or intramural sports. She also worked in a restaurant and could drink behind the bar. Everybody was doing it, so it didn't seem like a problem at the time. She graduated college and worked in a nursing home by day and a restaurant by night. She was working 50-60 hours a week, which gave her another excuse to drink because she worked so hard. [14:45] At this point, were you starting to question your relationship with alcohol, or were you thinking this is just what people do? Emmy said she knew as a teenager; it may become a problem in the future. She saw so many people doing the same thing and thought she would have to look at it later down the road. [15:28] Walk me through what happened afterward, how did that progress? Emmy went to grad school, which started drinking Round 2. She thought, I'm still in school, I can still live the same lifestyle. She graduated, got a Director job in a nursing home, with more responsibility. She was not surrounded by as many people who drank as she did. She began putting feelers out to different people, asking if she had a drinking problem. She was asking the wrong people, the people who drank as she did. She took that as validation she didn't have a problem. She drank regularly for a few more years. She thought it was fun. There were many examples of alcoholism in her family. Problem drinkers have a problem every time. She believed she could maintain control and continue drinking. [17:35] Were you creating any rules for yourself, like moderation rules? Emmy said, don't we all? She had rules about, don't drink on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. She would break her rules all of the time, then double down on guilt and shame. Emmy moved to Texas, and she wasn't around anybody she knew anymore. She started drinking alone. She could still have a glass or two of wine and feel fine the next day. She was still getting up for work and had a really good job. Nothing was taken away from her, so she didn't think it was a problem. [18:36] You said the word, YET, was powerful in your journey. The inner turmoil between the heart and the brain can be exhausting, were you tired mentally? Emmy said this is what led her to admit defeat. She found herself doing the same thing over and over again. She was sick and tired of being sick and tired. She was sick of being pulled out of her life, missing amazing moments while she continued drinking. [19:49] Did you have any people in your life who were pursuing sobriety or battling addiction? Emmy said yes. She grew up with alcoholism in her immediate and extended family. She had little seeds planted in the past ten years by people who chose recovery. [20:32] So what made you change your mind? Emmy said on December 7, she was feeling unsafe and recalling a previously abusive r

Sasha took her last drink on May 19th, 2019. This is her story of living alcohol free (AF). Check out the free meditations on the Recovery Elevator page here! Odette's weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You When Odette doesn't want to forget something, she sends herself an email. Recently she found one to herself with the subject line: Positive Relationships. The body of the email said simply: "The biggest factor for cultivating resilience" (Season 17, Grey's Anatomy) We need resilience when embarking on this journey. Not just for this, but for everything life throws at us. Our journey is far from perfect, when we fall we need the courage to get back up and that's why we need community. This is why together is better. Having one person in your corner can make a huge difference for you. How many positive relationships to you have and are you fostering them? [7:19] Odette introduces Sasha. Sasha is from New Jersey and works in IT. She lives with her fiancé and their dog. For fun she likes to read, do jigsaw puzzles, meditate and collecting old books from estate sales. [10:37] Can you give listeners some background on your story? Sasha said she started drinking around the age of 18. It wasn't anything that was intense, but she knew from the first drink it would make her be "her true self." She got a DUI at the 20. Around 21 was when she started drinking alone. When she was 23/24 she was crying and falling apart every time she drank. Her thoughts were preoccupied with drinking all the time. [13:48] Did the DUI make you question your drinking, or did you think that this was just something young people did? Sasha said it was both. She knew she drank in a way that wasn't normal but felt because she was so young it was also ok. Looking back she knew it should have been a big warning sign. [15:36] Did you have any rock bottom moments? Sasha said rock bottom was when she was drinking alone and miserable. She had the realization she was miserable but didn't know how to get out of it. [16:13] How did you get yourself out of the cycle? Sasha said she was listening to the RE podcast and reading Eckart Tolle and doing the Sam Harris 'Wake Up' course and this gave her the realization she had a drinking problem. Her end goal when drinking was always to be drunk, so the solution was to have none. [18:09] Was the podcast your first exposure to other stories of people's drinking? Sasha said after her DUI there was court mandated AA meetings and that was her first exposure. She loved hearing what people were going through because she could identify with them. [21:20] What Tolle book were you reading? The Power of Now She was also reading In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts which covers many of the same themes. [24:54] Were you having conversations with your fiancé about your drinking prior to May 20th? Sasha said she always minimized it, so they never had direct conversations about her drinking. When she told him, he was very supportive and zero judgement. They continue to have conversations about her drinking. [26:27] Did you feel relief when you told him? Sasha said yes, a tremendous amount of relief. She was so lonely in her drinking and to have him be so accepting was what she needed. [32:05] How was it for you right after you made the decision to stop drinking? Sasha said for her it was like a switch flipped. She was so happy to be free from alcohol that her "pink cloud" lasted about 6 months. It helped that so many other things fell into place in that time as well. Sasha received a promotion at work, they got a dog, she was connecting with herself, reconnected with old friends and all the small things put themselves in place. It was hard for her to imagine going back to drinking. She had a craving around month 8, but was able to play the tape forward and that tool helped her not have a drink. [36:27] What happened after the pink cloud? What other tools do you use? Sasha said this time quitting was different, she was able to flip a switch. She no longer romanticizes drinking. But overall she hasn't had the white knuckling craving this time. [39:27] Did you have a routine in your day that you had to fill with new things? Sasha said it was when she left work. In the past she would leave work and pick-up alcohol on the way home. At first, she was distracting herself with seeing friends and taking her dog for a walk or eating. Getting out of the house was really important. [44:55] What type of responses did you get from people when you told them about this decision? Sasha said most people were supportive. Every once in a while, someone questions the decision. Some of the people she used to drink with have also come out and admitted they are struggling and she has tried to point them in the right direction for resources. [46:48] Rapid Fire Round What would you say to your younger self? Give her a hug and tell her everything will be ok. What's your favorite ice cream flavour? Chocolate What has recovery made possible for you?

Stephen took his last drink on January 24th, 2020. This is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette's weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You "The pleasures of connecting with people are much greater than the pleasures of judging people."- Johann Hari If we show up genuinely, we can connect with someone. If we are pretending to listen, we will not connect. Only with actual connection can we truly see each other. In a little departure from talking about quitting drinking Odette is asking us to explore being a better listener. What would that mean? What would that look like? Listening to each other has the power to heal, however it's also very hard to do. Can we be more curious and see how this can impact relationships? [6:01] Odette introduces Stephen. Stephen is 33 years old and lives in Austin, TX. He enjoys exercise, teaching tennis and using his Peloton. He's planning to return to school in the near future. [7:30] Can you give listeners some background on your story? Stephen said he took his first drink at the age of 15. He was curious about it and remembers finding something that made him feel relaxed. Being so focused on tennis, alcohol was mostly a secondary thing. In 2008 he joined the military to be an Airborne Ranger, which is also where he noticed his drinking changed. He left the military in 2015 and the drinking followed him. With nothing to wake up for at 5am anymore, he was able to drink differently. After a few years he walked into an AA meeting and went all in for 7 months' time. He began drinking again for 5 months which led him to January 2020. [14:59] Tell me more about your being in the military and the binge drinking. Did you question your relationship with alcohol? Stephen said he only questioned his drinking in the midst of a bad hangover. He was surrounded by so many others that drank the same way, so it was very normalized. Alcohol was a temporarily release from the stressors. [19:07] Have you shifted your thinking from that of learning to endure to finding joy? Stephen said he is still working on this. Coming from his sports and military background he was taught to do whatever it takes to get through something. He's learned that only works in the short term, but the emotional impact last longer. In recovery Stephen has taught himself that it's ok when things are easy and to go with the flow. He had to allow himself to surrender to the fact that he cannot live with alcohol in his life at all. [22:45] What has been different this time? Stephen said this time he had to adjust his all-in mentality. He's more tied into recovery communities with actual people and listening to their struggles and stories. He gave up the idea of being perfect but at the same time accepted that he can't be the best version of himself while drinking alcohol. [25:06] Have you found anything in sobriety that makes you feel relaxed and free? Stephen said running helps him and it's when his body feels good and his mind is at peace. He's working on trying to be ok with his own thoughts in his own head. Having real conversations with real people makes him feel free. [25:57] What do you do when you have a craving? Stephen said he eats. It's simple and it works for him. He didn't eat when drinking because he didn't want to ruin his buzz. Now it's the opposite. If that doesn't work, he reaches out. [26:57] Tell me about this year. Stephen said at the beginning of COVID he was still able to be collecting a paycheck. He also went through a big breakup, which was different being sober. [29:30] What's your everyday routine look like? Stephen said on a daily basis about connecting with people about his life and their life. Addressing mind, body and spirit, as well as attending therapy. [31:14] How have the interactions with family and friends been? Stephen said his family can now see the version of him that's able to be present. He's having conversations with family members who are questioning their own drinking. [34:01] Have you figured out the why of your drinking? Stephen said he's been exploring a lot of deeper things with his therapist. He grew up in a home where he had to walk on eggshells. So, he thinks the drinking allowed him to be free of that. However, that led to all of his emotions being repressed and without an outlet except through drinking. Drinking allowed him to feel things and feel human. [35:38] Have you found therapy to be helpful? Stephen said yes. He's an analytical person by nature and having someone to be a sounding board has been helpful. He wouldn't have gone through a lot of the childhood trauma without his therapist. [37:36] Has your sleep improved? Stephen said not yet. He hopes it's the last piece of the puzzle. [39:49] Have you gone back to AA? Stephen said yes, he's working through the steps again. But he primarily focuses on a larger network for his own recovery. [41:07] Rapid Fire Round What would you say to your younger self? Stop trying to find clarity and happiness in a bo

Niel took his last drink on January 9th, 2020. This is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette's weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You A few weeks ago, Odette heard a phrase that she hadn't heard before and it struck a chord with her. It was different from the usual catch phrases that people use. "Awkwardness is an indicator of learning" Do we talk enough about the uncomfortable moments while on this journey? Are we allowing those moments to happen and normalizing them? When the decision to quit drinking is made, awkward moments arise, because we are feeling everything now. When we feel awkward, we feel vulnerable and feeling vulnerable makes most people want to run and hide. Odette phrases this into if/then questions to find a new path. Choosing yourself and living AF is often awkward and that's ok! Let it feel weird until it doesn't anymore. [6:59] Odette introduces Niel. Niel is 56 and lives in rural North Eastern California. He is a forester. He is married and has two children. For fun he likes to be outdoors. He misses swimming. He plays and builds guitars, any type of woodworking. Biking and hiking he also enjoys. [10:08] Can you give listeners some background on your story? Niel said he grew up in family where drinking was part of the culture. He started drinking irresponsibly / binge way in high school. He joined a fraternity in college and drank there as well. After he passed the bar exam in 2004 his drinking began to be problematic. In 2016 he stopped for a year, but then began drinking again in 2017. [12:27] Tell me more about your year in 2016. Niel said he talked to friends who were AF before this. He began exploring the idea that he might have a problem. Although he went back to drinking in 2017, he needed to experiment and decide is maybe this time it would be different. [15:00] Given your level of drinking, how was your day to day? Niel said he characterized himself as high functioning. However, he did have the repercussions of drinking that much. He found himself waking up feeling "thick" and he was irritable, unable to sleep, his weight was up, his heart was always racing, there were all kinds of manifestations. [16:39] How were your relationships at home? Niel said he was more on the irritable side. Emotionally until you pause and look in the mirror you don't realize how bad you can be. Your actions are all reflections of your wellness. [20:08] What's one of your worst drinking memories? Niel said there's a highlight tape of horrors in his head. His worst memories are those about missing out on memorable moments in his life. Raising his kids, being around them for their successes. Those memories are foggy and not sharp. [21:57] Tell me about the beginning of this year. Niel said the first 3-4 days the cravings were strong towards the end of the day. He kept those at bay by distracting himself. Usually he would go outside and exercise. He replaced the liquid with soda water and lime. His cravings were more nuances. It was more about figuring out the trigger and dealing with those emotions. He's felt so much better in the past months that it drives him to keep going. Emotionally the peaks and valleys are more manageable. Thinking through his actions and distractions are what works for him. [26:29] Do you get any push back along the journey? Niel said he's received a lot of support from friends and family. There's a few that don't understand. It's a matter of understanding any challenge from a friend, it's from a place of not understanding or challenging their own drinking. [28:02] What are a few things you do daily that keep you grounded? Niel said he's a very driven person. He wakes early and starts his day with the dogs. His workday is long but when he's home he focuses on exercise. It allows his mind to detach and reflect on his day and his emotional intelligence. He helps around the house and with dinner and closing down the day. He checks in with Cafe RE at the end of the day and enjoys learning about other people's journeys. He then starts is over the next day. When he's traveling he listens to podcasts. [31:16] Has your sleep improved? Niel said he now sleeps mostly like the dead. His anxiety is manageable. He remembers his dreams now. [33:02] Tell me the difference in your journey from 2016 to now. Niel said he was a dry drunk in 2016. He just stopped drinking rather than trying to fix the why. He didn't reach out for any tools to help him stop drinking, he didn't have or seek support. He now listens carefully to other people's similarities. He focuses on others tools. Niel looks to community now. He tries to laugh more now because humor is a great healer. [37:28] What is your why? Niel said a big one is his ability to now remove a large amount of self-inflected stress. He can step back and examine all the taxing moments in his life and move through them now without alcohol. His why has now become his how. His ability to resolve his issues of why he drank is creating

Chris took his last drink about 6 years ago. This is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette's weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You A few weeks ago, Elle published an article titled "The Year of Drinking Dangerously" which explored how alcohol in 2020 was front and center. Alcohol effects everything in our society and it's time we got serious and brought these issues to light. Alcohol is a drug that has been glamorized. 2020 taught Odette that she has grit, that she can speak up about things that matter to her, that she doesn't have to be a people pleaser, to name a few. She is pledging to make 2021 the year where Recovery Elevator changes even more lives through unmasking alcohol. As more and more people are questioning their relationship with alcohol… LETS KEEP GOING. [7:10] Odette introduces Chris. Chris is 33 years old, originally from New Jersey and right now lives in Savannah, GA. His career began in finance, as he quit drinking, he transitioned to being a personal trainer. He also began a blog, writing the articles he wished he could have read when questioning his own drinking. This became his website and he now is a alcohol recovery coach and has a podcast related to sobriety. He likes to be physically active. Chris also has two dogs he rescued in 2020. [16:57] Can you give listeners some background on your story? Chris started drinking in high school but wasn't really a partier. He was mostly into swimming and studying. However, when he did go out, he realized he could out drink all his friends. As he moved into an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, he felt like he was living a double life. Alcohol was the opposite of everything he stood for. Looking back he can see that he would have withdrawal symptoms at the age of 20 when he didn't drink. When he left college and began working, the drinking was now just martinis and more expensive. When he did finally quit, he had to go to detox. Through his research he learned that he had been out of balance with his nutrients which alcohol only exacerbated. [25:21] How aware were you that alcohol was the problem? Chris said he was in deep denial, with outbursts of honesty. A story he tells is standing outside a liquor store one morning waiting for it to open while drinking from a bottle of water he had filled with vodka. He thought to himself "this isn't normal." Chris felt he was special because of that he needed to drink to deal with people and jobs. Alcohol to him was a performance enhancing drug. [30:47] Tell me about those first couple months. Chris said once he admitted to others that alcohol was a problem, he felt some inner peace and relief. He also felt the tug of war in his brain, would this be purgatory and him having to be a saint the rest of his life? Chris took the leap of faith that he would figure out what needed to be done. In rehab he began doing meditation and that opened his eyes to the fact that you can have a fulfilled life away from alcohol. Fueling his body helped him see the world in full color. [39:35] What are simple tips help you restore your body balance? Chris said there are two main factors: Hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) and deficiencies in neurotransmitters. Start with a daily multivitamin and look into amino acid therapy. L Glutamine can be helpful in repairing muscles and gut health. It also turned into glucose in the brain without a spike in blood sugar. * always speak to your doctor before beginning any regiment. [44:52] Sleep Chris said he's recently read Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker. Chris had always had trouble sleeping and he's now trying to optimize his sleep. He tracks his sleep and tries to get to the bottom of why his sleep pattern might have changed. Chris recommends the power of tea and drinking tea to find a blissed-out state. There's a whole universe of benign things that can help with the psychological distraction. [50:39] Rapid Fire Round What would you say to your younger self? Don't drink alcohol. What has recovery made possible? Deeper relationships and be present with people. What's your favorite ice cream flavour? Talenti Mediterranean Mint What book are you reading right now? Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art by James Nestor What parting piece of guidance would you give to listeners thinking about ditching the booze? Try to solidify your support system and figure out how you can confide in. Don't assume you will feel as bad as you think you will without the alcohol. You may have to say adios to booze if... you find yourself outside a liquor store before it opens with a bottle of water refilled with vodka. Odette's weekly challenge: Did you reflect on who you are trying to become? Please don't shy away from what your heart is telling you that you deserve. Upcoming events, retreats and courses: You can find more information about our events Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. Affi

Robyn took her last drink on June 30, 2020. With 63 days away from alcohol (at the time of this recording), this is her story of living alcohol free (AF). Recovery Elevator RESTORE January 2021 Course. We will be offering this starting 1/1/2021. We're meeting 13 times in January via Zoom to give you the tools and accountability needed for an alcohol-free January… and hopefully more! We'll be focusing more on creating a life where alcohol is no longer needed. We've found that when we have healthy altruistic relationships with fellow human beings, the need for alcohol or any external substance drastically reduces. For more information and to sign up, use this link. Odette's weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You The last Monday of the year! "What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals" – Zig Ziglar This journey isn't about arriving, it's about becoming. How much we are willing to put in is what we should celebrate. Your hard work and new habits are what is to be celebrated. No one can take that away from you. What have you noticed about your journey this year? Who did you become this year? [6:35] Odette introduces Robyn. Robyn is from Columbia, South Carolina. She lives with her partner and he has two kids they see often. She likes jigsaw puzzles, reading, journaling and meditating. Pre-covid she liked vacations to the mountains. [9:33] Can you give listeners some background on your story? Robyn said she started drinking around her senior year of high school. She was shy. When she moved to NC it was a fresh start and to fit in, she drank. It helped her open up and have fun. After some life trials and moving to Columbia she made friends with bartenders and it was still fun drinking. During a relationship with another alcoholic, she noticed her drinking really ramped up. There were lots of times she talked herself out of being an alcoholic. In 2011 Robyn got a DUI. She did quit for a little, but it didn't stick. After her mother passed away was when Robyn actually noticed it was a problem. She dealt with so much during that time. Robyn's getting to her last drink came in ebbs and flows over years. There was a definite mental decline that she noticed. [26:10] How was your emotional state during these times of drinking and then returning to drinking? Robyn said she stopped beating herself up. It took a while for that overall to stop, but the more she met people and gained community it's been easier for her to be easier on herself. She's learned there's no point in beating yourself up, it won't help. [31:06] What do you do when you get a craving? Robyn said she reaches out. Her partner helps her with the rational side of her thinking. If he's not available, she will reach out to Café RE or her little DTB group. [32:43] How has this decision affected other relationships? Robyn said her boss is also in recovery and he's a big supporter of her recovery. Her best friend still drinks but is supportive of her choice. [35:21] Have you been able to identify any triggers? Robyn said some of her triggers are good things. If she's having a good day, yard work, outside activities. Her triggers aren't emotional anymore. [38:06] Do you have a daily routine? Robyn said journaling. She's journaled most of her life and she's really focused on it during her sobriety. Robyn even noticed that if she takes a break, within a week she's had a drink. Even when she doesn't have anything "great" to say, she writes anyway. She tries to include gratitude and she's begun meditating. [47:18] Rapid Fire Round If you could talk to day 1 Robyn, what would you say? Keep trying, you're making the right decision, keep going. It will eventually be good. What are you excited about right now? Do some sober travel and meet some Cafe RE members. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey? Cafe RE, journaling, quit lit and other podcasts, all of them. What is your favorite NA beverage? All the sparkling water, if it's sparkling and it's water, I want it! What parting piece of guidance would you give to listeners thinking about ditching the booze? Give it a try you will never know how good it can feel until you give it a chance. And be easy on yourself. You may have to say adios to booze if... you wanted to stock up for quarantine and it only lasts you 4 days. Odette's weekly challenge: Take a few moments to reflect on today's intro on becoming. Who are you trying to become? Thank you to each listener! Upcoming events, retreats and courses: Recovery Elevator RESTORE January 2021 Course. We will be offering this starting 1/1/2021. We're meeting 13 times in January via Zoom to give you the tools and accountability needed for an alcohol-free January… and hopefully more! You can find more information about our events Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. Affiliate Link for Amazon: Sho

Sarah took her last drink on April 22, 2019. With over a year away from alcohol (at the time of this recording), this is her story of living alcohol free (AF). Recovery Elevator RESTORE January 2021 Course. We will be offering this starting 1/1/2021. We're meeting 13 times in January via Zoom to give you the tools and accountability needed for an alcohol-free January… and hopefully more! We'll be focusing more on creating a life where alcohol is no longer needed. We've found that when we have healthy altruistic relationships with fellow human beings, the need for alcohol or any external substance drastically reduces. For more information and to sign up, use this link. Odette's weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You Odette recently received the book Homebody by Rupi Kaur. As Odette looks at her own sobriety as a return to self, this book is very fitting for where she is in her own journey right now. Here's your permission slip this week: take care of yourself. This time of year can be overwhelming for many. When we are overwhelmed, we may also open the door to fear. Using our tools, we can make life manageable and hold space for everything we are feeling. list of things to heal your mood: cry it out. walk it. write it. scream it. dance it out of your body. If after all that you are still spiraling out of control ask yourself if sinking into the mud is worth it the answer is no the answer is breathe sip tea and feel your nervous system settle you are the hero of your life this feeling doesn't have power over you the universe has prepared you to handle this no matter how dark it get the light is always on its way you are the light walk yourself back to where the love lives [6:42] Odette introduces Sarah. Sarah lives in Wisconsin with her husband and her son and their dog. She is 30 years old and works in marketing. For fun she likes running, reading and crafting. She loves live music as well. [8:52] Can you give listeners some background on your story? Sarah said she had her first drink around 14 or 15 years old. Form there she drank almost every weekend and became a party girl. The lifestyle continued into college. She transferred her sophomore year and focused on her health. When she turned 21 it ramped up again. Being in WI the drinking culture is strong. After college she kept partying on the weekend, but the culture of drinking kept her in it. At the age of 26 Sarah had a moment that changed it, she woke up feeling shame. In 2017 she told herself she was only going to drink on special occasions, she made it 60 days without alcohol. At a friends 30th birthday was when she drank again, and it was like old times, up until 4 am drinking. She also found out she was pregnant at the end of March 2017. While pregnant she missed drinking and was ready to get back to it. She found herself turning to alcohol as a reward. Sarah began to see that she wasn't someone who could just have one, she always went overboard. [21:30] Has it been cool finding different ways to unwind at the end of the day? Sarah said she turned her beer fridge into a NA fridge. Her and her husband make mocktails. She turns to something that's relaxing rather than alcohol to unwind. [22:59] Talk to me about when you started this journey and being in a relationship? Sarah said her partner was really supportive. He never said anything about her drinking, but it caused problems when she was drinking. She was worried about their relationship however because they met through partying. He however is someone who supports her no matter what. [27:31] Did you start using social media as a way to find other sober people? Sarah said when she was on her moderation journey, she found some accounts that were about being sober. When she got serious, she went back and found them and was amazed at how large the community had grown. Sarah found 1000 Hours Dry and enlisted a friend to do it with her. Sarah helped grow her community through Instagram. She's co-started New Fashioned Sobriety with some friends she met through Instagram and they plan meet ups (virtual right now!). [33:39] How was it going to the in person retreat in Bozeman? Sarah said she was very nervous about going, but also about what her family would think. During the retreat she met and connected with so many people she wouldn't have otherwise and really emersed herself in the event. Sarah said she came home with new tools and tons of new friends. [37:52] Do you still get cravings? Sarah said it's mostly when she romanticizes her drinking, but for the most part no. [41:28] Tell me what your most beloved tools in your toolbelt. Podcasts are #1, this Naked Mind and the community on instgram. [42:31] What's your go to response when someone offers you a drink? No thanks, it makes me feel like shit was her go to in the beginning. Now she normally brings her own so it's not a conversation! [43:33] Rapid Fire Round If you could talk to day 1 Sarah, what would you say? You life is going to change

Kyle took his last drink on May 31 2020. With 82 days away from alcohol (at the time of this recording), this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Recovery Elevator RESTORE January 2021 Course. We will be offering this starting 1/1/2021. We're meeting 13 times in January via Zoom to give you the tools and accountability needed for an alcohol-free January… and hopefully more! We'll be focusing more on creating a life where alcohol is no longer needed. We've found that when we have healthy altruistic relationships with fellow human beings, the need for alcohol or any external substance drastically reduces. For more information and to sign up, use this link. Odette's weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You Sometimes we get stuck. When Odette gets stuck, she repeats this simple phrase to herself. "Please help me see things differently." Being shown the same scenario through a different lens helps to shift the perspective. Different questions help to see things in a new way and get unstuck. If you're feeling stuck are you asking yourself the wrong questions? [7:44] Odette introduces Kyle. Kyle is 33 years old and from Michigan. He is married and has three young daughters. He works in the automotive industry as a program manager. For fun he's been planning the future with his wife, he also likes gaming and running. [10:49] Can you give listeners some background on your story? Kyle said the first time he got drunk was when he was 14, but he didn't notice a change in his drinking until he was in his 20s. He was taking on a lot at the time and failing a lot at things. He looked to beer to take the edge off which turned into drinking to black out every night. He tried quitting many times and this stretch is the longest he's gone in 10 years. [13:37] When did you notice you were using alcohol to cope? Kyle said he realized this subconsciously early on but was trying to quit on willpower alone. He figured out the price for alcohol and the euphoria it brought was higher than he was willing to pay. Alcohol stopped being enjoyable at the end because he was just chasing something. [17:25] What happened when you returned from Japan and you realized you couldn't shake it? Kyle said rock bottom wasn't one individual thing. He realized he was letting his wife and kids down often. He would wake up ashamed. During a conversation with his wife, she mentioned a friend who worked with people with addiction issues. Kyle was given some reference material. He found other like-minded people and that's really what helped him. [21:23] Tell me about your attempts to stop drinking. Kyle said he feels like he's been in a fog for the last 10 years. He had a lot of vision and no energy. Every time he woke up and swore off alcohol, but 3 pm that day he was ready to drink. There was a lot of mental back and forth he experienced. He sees now that was only will power without understanding the science behind it. [23:23] What was your mental headspace when you were trying to quit? Kyle said he lacked a lot of self love, so he was frustrated with himself all the time. He had a good façade and came off as confident, but he wasn't the person he wanted to be internally. [24:15] How has this time been different for you? Kyle said he is seeking help. Also, his family is a big influence about getting sober. He knows he will be there for them. [25:16] What do you do when you get a craving? Kyle said he sits with it and he thinks about the morning after, his future and what the drink can lead to. [27:30] How has staying away from alcohol affected your anxiety & depression? Kyle said it's still there, but it's not as severe. He now knows that drinking wont erase them and he deals with them. [29:44] What does a day in the life of Kyle look like? Kyle said it's mainly juggling his career and his family. [29:44] What does a day in the life of Kyle look like? Jason said he makes amends a lot. He gives himself permission to be imperfect and to circle back. He practices and allows room for mistakes to happen. Being compassionate with himself. He also applies the ABCs [30:10] Do you have any rituals in place to help you deal with cravings? Kyle said he likes to keep his hands busy. He does see he's more focused on the things he loves. [37:16] Have you noticed a difference in your relationship with your wife? Kyle said his wife really let him do what he needed and didn't get in the way of him discovering his own path to sobriety. He has thanked her for letting him discover sobriety in his own way. [41:20] Do you have any specific routines during the day / morning routine? Kyle said he used to but now not really. He does try to find time to exercise because it's a stress release. If he has extra time, read a book. [43:43] Have you noticed your sleep has improved? Kyle said living away from alcohol has improved his sleep. He used to drink to knock himself out. He's noticed it's much better now. [44:43] Rapid Fire Round If you could talk to day 1 Kyle, what

Dr. Jason Powers took his last drink in June 2003. With many days away from all substances, this is his story of living substance free. Recovery Elevator RESTORE January 2021 Course. We will be offering this starting 1/1/2021. We're meeting 13 times in January via Zoom to give you the tools and accountability needed for an alcohol-free January… and hopefully more! We'll be focusing more on creating a life where alcohol is no longer needed. We've found that when we have healthy altruistic relationships with fellow human beings, the need for alcohol or any external substance drastically reduces. For more information and to sign up, use this link. Odette's weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You What do we do when we are waiting for an outcome or a result? Traditionally: we bolt, we remove ourselves from the moment. In sobriety we have to feel all our feelings. Feeling them is the proof that we are staying true to ourselves. And that in itself is bad ass. Keeping in mind we have to feel the feelings, but also process them, not allow ourselves to get stuck in them. On days like today, when most people feel depleted, we have to find ways to fill up our gas tank. [7:03] Odette introduces Dr. Jason. Jason is 50 years old and lives in Houston, Texas. He is a physician that focuses on addiction medicine as well as an author, an interventionist, the founder of Positive Recovery. He is married and has 3 children: 18, 15 & 11. For fun he exercises and plays the drums, [10:07] Can you give listeners some background on your story? Jason said his first drug was sugar. It was the summer before 9th grade when he first tried marijuana. While he would quit from time to time, he consumed it a lot. He drank in high school and college. Jason quit everything during medical school. He said he went out of control after his residency because no eyes were on him anymore. He had access to cough syrup with hydrocodone which had its own set of repercussions. He had an intervention and went to rehab. In rehab he had a moment of surrender to addiction. [16:30] What is your definition of Positive Recovery? Jason said while he did get sober through a 12-step program. However he woke up later to exploring beyond the 12-steps and a broader array of recovery methods. The science of happiness (Positive Psychology) was something that he learned about and jumped in. He began to apply these methods to addictive disorders. Helping to improve outcomes is Dr. Jason's end goal. [25:13] Personally, did you have to deal with any relapses after your time in treatment / early recovery? Jason said he felt like he had a lot of reasons for shame surrounding his addiction. In his profession it's often looked at as a character flaw. He was very distraught and afraid when he finally surrendered to the addiction. He didn't have a relapse, but realizes he is an anomaly. In the beginning there was the desire to relapse, but he pushed through the feelings that came with it. [29:56] Tell me about CBT. Jason said that Dr. Aaron Beck created CBT. Dr. Beck decided he needed to develop a tool to change the thinking and behavior and there is a different result. The ABC's are: A- Activating Event, B- Belief/Thought, C- Consequence. Making the change and having people argue with themselves (A & B) to change the consequence. ACR- Active Constructive Responding- Dr. Jason wants us all to google this and inform ourselves and apply this to our lives! [38:28] Tell me how your life has changed. Jason said a part of him woke up or was reborn after addiction. He's still himself, but just different. He's living a full complete lifestyle away from substances. He's honest, my generous, more empathetic. [40:38] How do you navigate difficult situations personally? Jason said he makes amends a lot. He gives himself permission to be imperfect and to circle back. He practices and allows room for mistakes to happen. Being compassionate with himself. He also applies the ABCs. [42:46] Rapid Fire Round What is your favorite NA beverage? Diet orange soda. What would you say to your younger self? Go find Amy Powers and marry her and get into recovery quickly! What are some of your favorite resources in recovery? Other people, other people, other people What book are you reading right now? Ken Follett, A Dangerous Fortune What parting piece of guidance can you give people thinking about ditching the booze? What are you waiting for? Try it out. You may have to say adios to booze if... it's causing more negative consequences to your life then it's adding benefits. Odette's weekly challenge: Think about the intro, how do you spend your waiting periods? Do you know you can come back to yourself by simply breathing and being mindful? Peace begins with you. Upcoming events, retreats and courses: Recovery Elevator RESTORE January 2021 Course. We will be offering this starting 1/1/2021. We're meeting 13 times in January via Zoom to give you the tools and accountability needed for an alcohol-free

Jamie took her last drink April 16, 2019. With 485 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette's weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You She is currently re-reading The Compound Effect. The general idea is that baby steps add up into large rewards. Change is hard. Gaining momentum on a decision is hard. This applies to our alcohol-free journey: turning down drinks, one at a time. Once we reframe the idea of this being a sacrifice and think of it as an opportunity instead, the trajectory changes. We must think of all the things we can add into our lives without alcohol. Odette makes a list of the things she has room for in her life now. Why don't you make one too? [7:00] Odette introduces Jamie Jamie is 35 years old and lives on Long Island, NY. Her immediate family lives close and she lives with her 2 black cats. Jamie is a social worker. For fun she likes to run, go kayaking, reading, cooking and hanging out with friends. Being in nature is the best, it's where she finds her higher power. [9:57] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Jamie said she started drinking at the end of high school. In college her drinking seemed normal. She found there were hills and valleys with her drinking. When Jamie lost her mother at the age of 22 she remembers she was in a club in Greece and she identifies the synergy with that happening. The last 3-4 years her drinking escalated. She was blacking out and making poor choices. Looking back she can see the pattern of co-dependency. [12:57] Did you notice after your mother passed that you used alcohol to deal with your grief? Jamie said at first, she was so busy taking care of her father and making sure he was ok that alcohol was a secondary thought. But once she had some time away and time with her own feelings, she could see she was using alcohol the same as her mother, to numb down any emotions. [18:05] Tell me about the first couple weeks of your journey? Jamie said this was really the first time she honestly tried to get stop drinking. She had been living on the river of denial before this. Growing up her family didn't express feelings, they drank or got angry. So, the first few weeks were new. She started a 12-step program and therapy. Jamie only knew 2 sober people at the time and she spoke to them a lot. [23:49] What did you do initially when you had a craving? Jamie said she didn't really have a craving for the drink, but it was an emotional craving instead. She used a new found self-awareness to explore the feelings. She would pause and ask herself some questions about why she was feeling that way. [28:18] After making the decision to not drinking, did you talk to your friends and family about it? Jamie said she told people very quickly. She said the safe sentence "I'm not drinking right now". After about a month, she started to see how this could be a lifestyle for her. 5-6 months in she began to share very openly on social media. [30:48] What's been the hardest part of this journey for you? Jamie said feeling her feelings and not fighting them. Allowing the feelings to just be there. [34:27] What's your morning routine? Wakes up at 6am, feeds cats, reads and then moves her body. For the last 81 days (at the time of recording) Jamie has been running every morning. New Fashioned Sobriety and their Zero Proof Run Club hosted and a streaker challenge that she completed. Initially it was 41 days, which she completed. And now her pledge to herself is to move her body daily. She also makes sure to meditate daily. [37:01] Did you used to have a witching hour? Jamie said right after work, 5-7pm when before she would be at happy hour and now she fills the time with new routines. A fun mocktail, some tea, go for a walk, walk with a friend. [40:13] Rapid Fire Round What are you excited about right now? Have her first sober healthy relationship. What books are you reading right now? Good Morning, Destroyer of Men's Souls: A Memoir of Women, Addiction, and Love What is a lightbulb moment you've had in this journey? I can do almost anything sober that I did drunk. If you could talk to day 1 Jamie, what would you say? Jamie you are a warrior, you are a force you have no idea what this is going to bring you. You can be a light for other people. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Anything with chocolate or peanut butter in it and even together! What are some of your favorite resources in recovery? Café RE, Podcasts- Recovery Elevator, Recovery Happy Hour, Seltzer Squad, yoga, walking, running, kayaking and This Naked Mind and Sober Curious. What parting piece of guidance can you give people thinking about ditching the booze? You are a brave, gentle soul and I applaud you. I wish you so much fun on your journey. It's about taking that pain and making it fun. Tell somebody. You may have to say adios to booze... You drank so much while living in your parents basement and you couldn't make it ups

Alex took her last drink April 25, 2020. With exactly 109 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette's weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You The end of the year is the time when Odette sees a lot of "fuck-its". Putting your goals on hold and coasting to the end of the year, to start fresh in the new year. 2020 particularly has been hard as so much was put on hold; we can now choose to make this year mean nothing or everything. Keep going, keep putting your good energy into the year. The rest of this year is a marathon, not a sprint to 2021. Hold onto your sobriety, visualize your path, see the people along the way cheering you on, see the finish line. You can do this. [7:30] Odette introduces Alex Alex is 28 years old. She is originally from Indianapolis, IN and just moved to Denver, CO. She loves hiking, mountain biking, being outside. She lives with a roommate and her dog. She's the "designated ice cream friend" among her group of friends. [10:50] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Alex said she was never someone who drank daily, but she found herself often in drinking situations and she wasn't able to moderate. She moved from Chicago back to Indianapolis and the drinking didn't change like she hoped it would. Alex began to make rules around her drinking to try to moderate. Morning after morning of not remembering nights she began to explore and consider a life without alcohol. She wanted to remember everything. [14:04] What drew you to start listening to Recovery Elevator? Alex said when she was questioning her drinking, she felt she couldn't tell anyone in her circle of friends but knew there had to be something out there in the podcast world. There was one in particular that spoke to her, she saw herself in the interviewee. Alex began to get angry at the alcohol. [17:42] What tools work for you? Alex said she walks every day, minimum 2 hours. That's been therapeutic for her. It allows her to slow down and focus on the little things in life. When she feels a craving, she goes for a walk. [19:08] Do people around you know you're sober? Alex said everybody knows now. It started as a whisper to some people and now it's something that is just known. When 1000 Hours Dry was looking for a host, she signed right up, giving her an extra layer of accountability. [23:27] What's your worst memory from drinking? Alex said she woke up one morning, not remembering at all how she got home from the night before. She decided to take herself out to brunch, where she drank and rode herself home on her bike. She had an accident, breaking her wrist and giving herself a concussion. [27:00] What's your go to response when someone offers you a drink? Alex said she says "no thank you, I have my own drink!" [28:55] Have you gotten to the bottom of why you chose to drink? Alex said she was lonely and seeking validation. She felt she would be more likable if she drank. [33:28] Do you ever feel a disconnect in your age decade and when you got sober? Alex said she was nervous about this choice and how it would affect her social life. Reframing the idea of not drinking is what helped her get through it. She wanted to remember the things that hadn't happened yet. [33:28] Do you ever feel a disconnect in your age decade and when you got sober? Alex said she was nervous about this choice and how it would affect her social life. Reframing the idea of not drinking is what helped her get through it. [36:41] What's been the hardest part of the last few months? Letting go of expectations and having different expectations. Having to go with the flow. [39:16] Do you have a daily routine? Alex said she making coffee is therapeutic to her. She focuses on the enjoyment she will get from the process and the end result. She journals while drinking the coffee. Her walking is also part of what keeps her sane. Alex has some playlists that bring her peace. [43:42] Rapid Fire Round If you could talk to day 1 Dusty, what would you say? You deserve a life without alcohol. What are you excited about right now? Getting yoga certification, meeting new people. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Graham Central Station or TJ Cookie Butter What is a lightbulb moment you've had in this journey? You don't need a drink. You just need to be and sit through the feeling. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners? I promise this decision is fun. You may have to say adios to booze... You're only guaranteed to go to a wedding if there's an open bar. Odette's weekly challenge: Commit to finishing the race. Commit to your sobriety. Flip the question. Instead of "What's the worst that can happen?" ask "What's the best that can happen?" Upcoming events, retreats and courses: You can find more information about our events here. Grüvi discount code: For 15% off your order with Grüvi visit their website and use the promo code recovery elevator at checkout. Affiliate Link

Dusty took his last drink September 21, 2015. With exactly 5 years away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette's weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You…..by Paul Churchill How to get your 300 Power Stance: Grab a stick and stand in front of a mirror, put on some good music, bend the knees and ankles. Get low and grip the stick (or rake or broom). Become one with the stick. Look yourself in the eyes (in the mirror) and say, "I'm here, right now, what do you got?", repeat, louder. Repeat and get lower. Find your stance. Focus on your connection to the earth. Pull up a painful moment from the past and change the script. Bring up the unfinish emotion and feel it. Remind yourself you are safe. [16:00] Paul introduces Dusty. Dusty is from Bozeman, MT. He's a finance director for a local non-profit and just got engaged yesterday! For fun he likes to play rec sports. He goes hunting, camping, hiking and fishing in the beautiful weather he has in Bozeman. [20:50] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Dusty said the day before his last drink was spent watching sports and he blacked out around 9:30pm. The next day his friend was leaving for an around-the-world trip and he went to her leaving drinks. The bartender that night came up to him and explained that if they were working that night Dusty would have been kicked out for his behavior the night before. Another friend of his, he had kicked in the backside and when he saw her, he saw fear in her eyes when she looked at him. He paid his tab and left the bar. Never touched alcohol again. His losing control was a big motivator for him to stay sober. [25:34] When did you find community? Dusty said he's been very lucky to have known Paul Churchill for a while before he quit. Paul was the first person he told he quit drinking and knew that community would be there for him. At the time Recovery Elevator was just getting started and Dusty participated. He was surprised how easy it was for him to share his story. [30:11] How have the years changed for you? Dusty said the 1st year was exactly that, just getting through the 1st year without a drink. In year 2 the real healing began. In 2019 was when he realized alcohol was the symptom, not the problem. He grew up with a verbally abusive father and being scared as a child, his option was to freeze and stay quiet. Coming into year 5 he's begun therapy to understand the deep stuff that is why he reached for alcohol. [37:17] What was on your heart yesterday? Dusty said yesterday reflecting on the timeline of his life and his drinking was a lot for him. There was anger and sadness about the pain he experienced growing up. He was dwelling a little on the negative and he was able to purge it and get it out. [43:51] How has the relationship with yourself changed over the last 5 years? Dusty said he loves himself a lot more and continues to work on that. He has more confidence. Loving himself better lets him love the world better as well. Dusty now gives himself grace and is no longer his own worst critic. His physical appearance and health overall has changed drastically for the better. [46:27] When the shame and guilt from your initial motivator decreased, what filled its place as a new motivator? Dusty said his pink cloud lasted for years. He could see how much better his life was from walking away from alcohol. Nothing in his life got worse, everything got better. So, the idea of taking one drink he knew would make his life worse again. [48:55] Do you still get cravings? Dusty said no, not anymore. Very few moments have made him want to have a drink. [49:38] What do you do now when life throws you a curveball? Dusty said exercise works for him. He goes for a run and gets in the zone. He will also try to sit with the emotions and see where it's coming from. He's lucky to have close friends and family and he can talk to them. [54:05] Rapid Fire Round If you could talk to day 1 Dusty, what would you say? Dusty, sit with the shame for a while, but don't dwell on it forever. Use it for fuel. Enjoy the ride, all the ups and downs. What has recovery made possible for you? He is more of a leader now. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Ben & Jerry's AmeriCone Dream or Cherry Garcia What book are you reading right now? He's reading a book about crows and ravens. You may have to say adios to booze... If you are a recurring guest on the Recovery Elevator podcast! Paul's recap: 2020- what happened?! As per the Mayan Calendar: there is a gigantic evolutionary leap that the race needs to go through. It's a leap through consciousness, not a physical leap. Those with addiction are forced to go within and address our own inner discomfort. Because we didn't have a choice. Realizing our inner world is more real than the outer world. Upcoming events, retreats and courses: You can find more information about our events here. Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off yo

Desi took her last drink July 21, 2018. With just over 2 years away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF). If you haven't checked out the RE merchandise...what are you waiting for?? You can see what we have available here! Odette's weekly installment of: Finding your Better You….. Hard days happen for everyone and don't believe that highlight reel you see on Instagram! Odette calls these "dip days". It's ok to not thrive every single day, it's ok to let feelings pass, it's ok to be honest and you are not alone. 2020 is here to remind us we are stronger than we think and also what grief feels like. Odette wants to share her tools for what helps her during these dip days. Eat Drink lots of water Meditate Laugh Remind yourself daily that you are not your productivity levels. Take your medications (if you are on any!) [7:34] Odette introduces Desi. Desi is 30 years old and lives in Michigan. She is finished up her Master's in social work at University of Michigan (go blue!). In her spare time, she coaches high school lacrosse which is a huge passion of hers. [12:38] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Desi said her journey started at the age of 7 with an eating disorder after being sexually abused. At the age of 14 a cousin passed away and that was a big turning point for her. Her family didn't talk about emotions. And around this time, she started drinking as well. Her first drink wasn't normal, and it flipped a switch: she wanted more. In college she made friends with a group of people who "didn't make wise decisions" so neither did she. Life was very hard for Desi during this. In college she met another woman, Vera, who became her sister and she credits Vera with saving her life. In 2009 she began to have chest pains, which was always diagnosed as "anxiety", but Desi knew it wasn't. In 2012 her sister Lauren got her into a treatment center for her eating disorder. In her second time in ED rehab she tried to get sober. However, Desi considered herself a dry drunk. November 2014 she began drinking again. [34:04] When you came out of treatment were you frustrated that you also had to remove alcohol? Desi said she didn't even think she had a problem with alcohol at first. She knew her eating disorder was killing her and that was her focus. She held onto all the other toxic things so she could cope. Desi was scared if she didn't have other things to help her get through life. [39:41] Tell me about the first couple months of your sobriety. Desi said she worked a program with AA. She had severe withdrawal symptoms, but she was able to talk about it in AA. There was nothing left to hide, and Desi was very honest in her shares. She reflected back on what made her want to quit drinking in the first place. Staying connected and finding community was what helped. [44:09] Did your anxiety get better? Desi said yes. While she's a naturally anxious person, her anxiety has leveled. She was able to get off medication. Where her anxiety used to sit is no longer there. She experiences anxiety just like other people do, because that's life. [46:28] Tell me about sharing openly. Desi said she needed to be able to share, she looks at it as a duty. Her sharing helps other people. She tells her story for those close to her that passed away and weren't able to tell theirs. [50:50] Rapid Fire Round If you could talk to day 1 Desi, what would you say? Hold, have hope, let people help you, and listen to others. What are you excited about right now? An internship at UofM. What's your go to response when someone offers you a drink? No, I'm good. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners that are thinking about ditching the booze? If you can think of best case scenario for your life, just know that without alcohol it's 100% possible. You may have to say adios to booze... If you sneak out, get drunk, come back home, fall down the stairs, break your leg running to the bathroom to throw up. Odette's challenge this week: Reach you, Odette is here for you. Upcoming events, retreats and courses: You can find more information about our events here. Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link. The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Resources: Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – We took the stairs down, we gotta take the elevator back up, we can do this– I love you guys"

Karla took her last drink December 31, 2018. With 583 away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF). Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why and the How. The new course will start November 11th, 2020. It's FREE for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee. Odette's weekly installment of: Finding your Better You….. Melanie Beattie says "What would happen if we let go of our camouflage of adaptation? What would happen if we owned our power to be ourselves? Would people still like us? Would they go away? Would they become angry? There comes a time when we become willing and ready to take that risk. To continue growing, and living with ourselves, we realize we must liberate ourselves" It's very vulnerable to show up as our authentic selves. The more we pursue a life away from alcohol the more we walk to liberate ourselves. The humble confidence that shows up allows us to show up authentically. Remember, there's only one you. [7:10] Odette introduces Karla. Karla is 33, grew up in the suburbs of Los Angeles and has lived in San Francisco for the past 7 years. She is an executive assistant for a tech company in the Bay area. She lives with her partner (fiancé!) and her puppy. For fun she's been working on some passion projects, SoberIRL is one of those! [10:29] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Karla said she started drinking when she was 19. She was studying abroad and hadn't yet made friends. Drinking was an easy way to make friends. She mimicked their style of drinking. Karla called herself a "weekend warrior" in her style of drinking. It didn't occur to her until after she stopped drinking that her drinking was beyond what someone for her stature should. By the time she was 21 she knew she had a problem. Between brown outs and black outs she was piecing together the nights out with her friends. The juxtaposition between Karla the party girl and Karla the high achiever was a push and pull she felt deeply, but she didn't know how to stop drinking. [18:07] Where you stuck in this cycle for a long time? Karla said she began seeing an alcohol counselor around the age of 25. The recommendation was to stop drinking, which she wasn't ready for because it was also her social life. In July 2018 she was able to get 45 days. Using that time, she sought out other methods of getting sober. Until her birthday and then she drank again. Finally, on New Year's Eve she was so hung over from the night before she couldn't go with her partner to a party, and that was it for her. [23:29] Tell me about the beginning of your sobriety. Karla said she still felt those first 45 days, she was being punished because she couldn't drink. This time around she didn't tell anyone she was restarting, and she wanted to try to be kind to herself this time. She gave herself the grace to accept that this is difficult. She taught herself that not every thought that came into her mind was true. [28:51] How did you find your community? Karla said at first it was all on Instagram. She followed Holly on Instagram and drew a lot of strength from her because she saw similarities in Holly's story. Also Bridge Club through Tempest was the first time she sat with others who wanted to live this life the same way. Karla knew she needed to find sober friends. With 8 months sober she attended the Recovery Elevator Bozeman retreat in 2019 and she felt herself really start to open up and found the ability to have fun and live life sober. [34:21] Tell me how you feel now being an advocate for other people looking to get sober? Karla said she never thought she would be in this position. She wanted to share being an openly sober Latina as she couldn't find any others. She wants people to see that they can have fun and be a normal human at the same time. (Karla_is_Sober) [37:22] Tell me about how you share so you can be the person you needed when trying to get sober. Karla said she always felt because she was so high functioning, she couldn't have a problem with alcohol. She told herself everything she was doing was normal. Karla wants to shed the shame and let people know that if alcohol isn't serving you anymore, you can stop. Success doesn't mean happiness. Karla wants people to know that people can turn their lives around and life can be so much more fulfilling. [43:45] Do you get cravings? Karla said not really at this point. It's not a physical craving, it's an emotional craving and it's fleeting. [45:41] Rapid Fire Round What is your go to response when you go to a party and someone offers you a drink? No thanks! What's your favorite NA beverage? LaCroix Pamplemousse What's a lightbulb moment you've had in the journey? PASS What is your favorite ice cream flavour? Mint chocolate chip What would you say to Karla on day 1? I love you and I'm so proud of you What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners that are thinking abou

Megan took her last drink April 20, 2020. With 108 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF). Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why and the How. The new course will start November 11th, 2020. It's FREE for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee. Odette's weekly installment of: Finding the Better You….. Armchair Expert: Day 7 Odette discusses Dax Shepard and the recent restarting of his sobriety clock. She appreciates how he is always seeking a life build in honesty and finding moment of gratefulness. What connects all of us is a feeling. What connects us all is finding our way through this book of recovery. Different chapters and experiences but all rooted in the same goal. We are not alone. Keep protecting your energy. [10:26] Odette introduces Megan. Megan lives in Montreal, Canada and is 33 years old. She lives with her partner Tim. She is a cook at a vegan restaurant. For fun she paints and draws and loves animal portraits. [17:29] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Megan said she drank a few times drinking growing up. Her parents both drank in the home and it was very normal. She got drunk for the first time when she was 17 or 18. It allowed her to breakout of her shell and be social. Moving to Montreal it became even more "normal". It is very much a part of the culture. It changed from being out and drinking, to drinking at home, to drinking at home alone. She began combining anxiety medication with alcohol and would black out. Megan questioned her drinking in her mid 20s due to so many different events. In March of 2020 she had all the alcohol that was meant for her wedding and in 30 days' time drank all it. It was meant to be for 80 people. [28:43] What happened in April of this year that made you stop drinking? Megan said it was because she ran out of alcohol. She paused and realized she had drank about $800 worth of alcohol. Megan found herself filled with shame and she realized that the way she drank it would never be enough until she was dead. [34:08] Tell me about the first few weeks after you stopped. Megan said it's a little hard to remember the time right after she quit. She remembers being exuberant in finding others and creating connections. Her sleep was a little off but she was also riding the pink cloud. As time went on, she wanted to get off anti-depressants. Now she's starting to find an equilibrium. She can finally think properly. [39:33] Tell me more about your new job and being sober. Megan said she mentioned in the cover letter and again in the job interview that she is in recovery. She positioned it as an asset! They are really respectful of her being sober from alcohol. [44:25] Tell me about your relationship with your partner now. Megan said her partner already started out as a wicked person. He was concerned for her but also understood that the desire to stop drinking had to come from her. He's really proud of her and expresses that to her. [46:36] Rapid Fire Round If you could talk to day 1 Megan what would you say? You are going to flourish! What is a lightbulb moment you've had in this journey? That I am capable, and I am worth a lot. Stop telling myself bullshit. What's your favorite AF beverage? Coffee! Coffee with oat milk, iced coffee, black coffee. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners that are thinking about ditching the booze? Just take it day by day but remember to believe in yourself. You are capable and strong and you will keep amazing yourself. You may have to say adios to booze... If you drank all your wedding booze in one month that was intended for 80 people. Odette's challenge this week: Everyone is fighting their own battle and try not to judge anyone else. We need kindness and love, more than ever. Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link. Upcoming events, retreats and courses: Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why and the How. The new course will start 11/10/20. It's FREE for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee. You can find more information about our events The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Resources: Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – "Stay humble and stay smiling – I love you guys"

DeeDee took her last drink May 5, 2020. With 91 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF). This weekend is Recovery Elevator's first ever REgionals! Join us for our online zoom conference this October 23-24th. This event is FREE for Café RE Members only. Not a member yet?! Sign up here and use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Odette's weekly installment of: Finding the Better You….. After watching the Social Dilemma on Netflix Odette has some thoughts about social media and its place in our lives. She wants us to continue to protect our energy and set boundaries. Talk about it. Uninstall apps, unfollow people, unsubscribe from emails. Turn off notifications. Look for chrome extensions that removed clickbait. Fact check yourself. Delay giving devices to children. Try to have devices out of your bedroom. [11:37] Odette introduces DeeDee. DeeDee lives in Santa Barbara, California and is 29 years old. She lives with her finance and their 2 dogs. For work, DeeDee is the Director of Development for a non-profit. For fun she's trying to figure that out still, but recently she's begun crafting again and making candles. [15:50] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? DeeDee grew up being aware of alcohol because alcoholism runs in her family. Her father got sober 14 years ago. She didn't drink a lot in high school. When she turned 21, she drank to fit in, but even then, didn't really like alcohol. In the beginning of 2013, she noticed that she drew a correlation between being loved and being intoxicated. Her partner at the time only expressed love when he was drunk. In 2017 DeeDee realized she was drinking alone. In 2018/2019 she dabbled in sobriety for short periods of time. She got engaged in late 2019 and they used that excuse for more drinking to "celebrate". [22:11] Did you ever connect the dots of alcohol being a problem in your family and your own drinking? DeeDee said she was in denial for a lot of it. She didn't know a lot of women who had problems with alcohol, so she rationalized that it was only the men in her family who had a problem. [23:38] Did you and your finance decide together to quit drinking? DeeDee said they came to the conclusion of quitting drinking on their own, but also at the same time. During early sobriety they both experienced different things and she has learned how to set different expectations based on their own individual experiences. [26:28] Tell me about the last 90 days. DeeDee said in the beginning she was very focused on how to live a sober life and what that was going to look like for her. She was seeing changes in her thought patterns. DeeDee focused on finding out why she is the way she is. After a month or so, she began to try and find balance in her life and her recovery. [31:17] How did the conversation go with your father when you told him you weren't drinking? DeeDee said it happened on May 5th 2020. He's been incredibly supportive. The conversation was very matter of fact and easy for her. Both her parents were there, and they met her with understanding. [32:52] What do you do when you get a craving? DeeDee said she has more emotional cravings then physical cravings. Seeing people with a glass of wine on a patio on a Friday afternoon makes her want that feeling, not the wine. That connection and relaxation is what she's looking for. Now she plays the tape forward, knowing that it will not ever just be one glass of wine. Instead now she chooses a different action, be it a walk or a podcast or ice cream. [36:47] What's your favorite AF drink now? DeeDee said sparkling water and also making a fun mocktails. [38:54] What you been able to identify any emotional triggers? DeeDee said she's learned that she has emotional triggers when she's feeling had a difficult day or moment. She wants to sit on the couch and feel like the alcohol is helping her unwind. Leaning her emotions are temporary has been huge. [41:46] Have you gotten any pushback from people? DeeDee said she started posting on an Instagram account she had that was mostly filled with followers she didn't know in real life. It was easier for her to open up and share, giving her confidence to move onto people in her real life. It was liberating when she decided to post on her "real" account where she was followed by people in her real life. She received awesome feedback and responses. [45:57] Rapid Fire Round If you could talk to day 1 DeeDee what would you say? In this moment, exactly where you are, you are enough. What is a lightbulb moment you've had in this journey? The opposite of addiction is connection and how true this statement is. What are you excited about right now? Getting married and starting a life together and doing it without booze. What is your favorite ice cream flavour? Chocolate chip cookie dough What are some of your favorite resources in recovery? Recovery Elevator podcast, Recovery Happy Hour podcast, AA

Brandon took his last drink October 28, 2018. With 645 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette's weekly installment of: Finding the Better You….. Now more than ever we need to stay rooted in kindness and live with the belief that people are just doing the best they can. In sobriety Odette has found she can give more grace to others because she is giving herself more grace and compassion. Looking at perfectionism, it doesn't actually yield perfect results. It instead creates feelings of guilt, shame, stress, addiction, loneliness and isolation. Unsubscribe from perfectionism and just be yourself. Take care of yourself and everything else will take care of itself. And that's the real gift. [7:08] Odette introduces Brandon. Brandon lives in Orlando, Florida with his wife and son. He's a social media manager. For fun he likes to go on adventures with his son, he plays music and enjoys being creative. [10:42] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Brandon said he started drinking at the age of 21, he wasn't interested in drinking while growing up. He was focused on sports and playing in bands. His first couple years of drinking he didn't suffer the usual repercussions. At about 3 years in he began to experience hangovers. College drinking helped him deal with his anxiety. Brandon noticed the years after college he was using alcohol as a crutch. He found himself turning to alcohol for to handle anything that life threw at him. He was trying to show a front of perfectionism while internally struggling so much. [19:24] Did your wife every approach you about your drinking? Brandon said his wife would question sometimes the beer(s) he would have with dinner. He could tell she knew something was wrong. His rock bottom was a Halloween party in 2018 where he drank too much and they had a fight. She was 7 months pregnant and expressed concern about having to do the next stage of life alone. That was enough for him. [29:11] Talk to me more about the time right after you stopped drinking. Brandon said he was prepared for it to be hell but didn't consider all the other things that go into it. He was open with his wife and friends. He turned to fitness to keep his mind moving. He took things hour by hour and focused just on the moment he was in. Brandon discovered a confidence in himself he didn't know was there. [35:18] Do you still get cravings? Brandon said no, but there are times where it sounds good to take the edge off with alcohol. [36:27] What's in your toolbox? Brandon said his wife is his biggest support. The /r/stopdrinking Reddit page. The idea of sharing with others gives him motivation. [39:32] Do you ever get push back from people? Brandon said yes, he does. He feels because he dealt with it silently for so many years, people had a hard time understanding the level of drinking he had come to achieve. [44:57] Rapid Fire Round If you could talk to younger Brandon what would you say? Listen to your parents, don't try it. What is your go to NA beverage? Sparkling water. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are thinking about ditching the booze? Listen to your gut. What's in your mind is the truth. There's no better time than now. You may have to say adios to booze... If you're in a meeting at 2pm and you're thinking about what you're going to drink tonight. Odette's challenge this week: Try to see yourself differently this week. Be more compassionate when you make a mistake. Give people in your life the benefit of the doubt. Be nice to strangers. Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link. Upcoming events, retreats and courses: Recovery Elevator's first ever REgionals! Join us for our online zoom conference this October 23-24th. This event is FREE for Café RE Members only. Not a member yet?! Sign up here and use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why and the How. The new course will start 11/10/20. It's FREE for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee. You can find more information about our events here. The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Resources: Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – "Believing we are all doing the best we can, can make the world a better place – I love you guys"

Erin took her last drink May 31, 2019. With 488 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette's weekly installment of: Finding the Better You….. Most long-term decisions have to be rooted in a place of love and not of fear. This applies to recovery and leads to the question, "What has recovery made possible for you?" This question helps to build the bridge from fear to love. Hearing stories of hope from others send out waves of survival. As you share your story, you don't know who's listening and how that might change the trajectory of their life. Odette chooses to live in the solution and show others, specifically her family, what's possible. [6:23] Odette introduces Erin. Erin and her family split time between New Hampshire and Sedona, AZ. She is married with 2 children, ages 1 & 3, she is a stay at home mom. For fun she does yoga, plays with her children, exercises and is getting to know her body. [9:35] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Erin said she first took a drink when she was 14. While that drink wasn't a problem, she began to experiment. The family setting was one where there was drinking and so it was part of what she knew growing up. Her parents separated when she was 17 and she rebelled from there. At 18, she went to the University of New Hampshire, which is a large party school. Drinking was part of the culture and it was just what everyone was doing. Erin can look back now and see how toxic it was, especially for her. [12:03] Can you expand on your college years? Her sophomore year, she tried sobriety. She took some time off college and did a "major health cleanse". However, when she returned, the habits also returned. She convinced herself she could moderate. [13:14] Did you transition after college into a lifestyle that allowed you to maintain a frequency of binge drinking? Erin said she has lived all over the place and those geographic moves are part of her story with alcohol. With periods of binge drinking and sadness coupled with periods of living with a healthy focus. Looking back, she can see she was running from her feelings and not being able to be with herself. [15:33] What was your style of drinking and did anyone ever approach you about it while you were drinking? Erin said she did surround herself with heavy drinkers so she could ignore the reality, there were also consequences to her drinking. She married her first husband in 2010 and they were divorced in 2012. He would speak to her about her drinking. When they separated, she took herself to her first AA meeting. However, a relapse of Lyme disease and the toll the separation was taking on her, she continued to drink daily. Erin moved with her mother to Sedona, AZ and jumped into the AA community. She would wake up, go to a meeting, go to work at a health center and then come home and get drunk. This was when she saw that alcohol was turning her into 2 completely separate people. [21:00] Tell me about your pregnancy and the last few years. Erin said she got pregnant in 2016 and was able to stay sober through her pregnancy. She felt the highs and lows of pregnancy very severely and not having alcohol to help her numb was part of that. When her daughter was around 3 or 4 months, she convinced herself again she could moderate. She got pregnant with her son and again stayed sober throughout, but the pattern started again in the 4th trimester. In May 2019, she woke up violently ill and that was it. [27:08] Tell me what you do now when you have one of these tough emotions. Erin said she is getting to know herself again as a highly sensitive person (HSP). She taps into a lot of the digital community and is exploring the psychologic makeup of being an empath. She's learning to lean in and explore the power of breath. [29:40] Did you go back to AA? Erin said she hasn't gone back to AA yet (busy raising the future!) but has found there are so many options out there for her online. [32:02] How has the response been from people? Erin said overall the response has been supportive. Those closest to her knew she had a problem. Her husband has also stopped drinking in support of her. [37:21] Has your creativity started to spark? Erin said absolutely. She's now made the choice to "join the human race" and to love herself. She makes talking about recovery part of her everyday life and puts herself out there without shame. [40:28] Rapid Fire Round If you could talk to younger Erin what would you say? You're enough and take care of yourself. What is a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? I'm ok in this moment and there is a purpose for why I am here. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate ice cream What are some of your favorite resources in recovery? Podcasts, yoga and meditation, the miracle morning idea and enjoying not being hung over. Getting outside with her kids. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are thinking about di

Rob took his last drink June 5, 2019. With over one year away from alcohol (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette's weekly installment of: Finding the Better You….. When we say no to alcohol, we are saying yes to a better life. Once the alcohol is left behind some people pick back up old hobbies, others go off to do things they thought they would never do. Give yourself some grace when you quit, and you are trying to figure out what you like to do now. Go for it, the possibilities are endless. Is how we are choosing to spend our time after quitting drinking bringing us peace? It becomes our responsibility to protect our peace and also seek peace. [6:22] Odette introduces Rob. Rob is 55 and lives in Littleton, CO. He has been married to his wife for 30 years, they have 2 grown boys. Rob likes adventure sports, specifically motorbike adventuring. He also enjoys hiking, being outdoors. He very much loves what Colorado has to offer. [9:34] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Rob said he moved from rural Indiana in 1978 to Denver, CO and that's when alcohol became a big part of his life. Stemming from his desire to fit into a new school as a kid, he began drinking. He also took a job at a warehouse where the older employees found it funny to corrupt the 15 year old preachers kid. His parents found out and they put a stop to it. He began leading a dual life, the adrenaline seeker mountain climber motorcycle rider vs going to church 5 times a week. On November 11, 2012 his close friend Ted passes away from cancer. Rob didn't know how to handle those feelings and after this he began drinking at home. By the end he was blacking out 3-5 nights a week. [17:02] Did you ever think to yourself "I might have a drinking problem?" Rob said he didn't even have that thought. The mentality around the group he was in was "work hard, play hard". [17:32] After Ted passed, were you conscious of the fact that you were using alcohol to hide the pain? Rob said that never occurred to him until he was in recovery. [19:12] Tell me about after your wife left? Rob said he gained enough clarity that night to realize the choice was alcohol or his marriage. He chose to fight for his marriage and that night was his last drink. That next morning on his drive to work, rather than listening to his usual drive music, he listened to a podcast about recovery. That night he found an AA meeting as well. [25:15] Tell me about the resentment you had and when you felt the shift. Rob said it was a progression for him. He didn't really find a home until he found Café RE in September 2019. He felt the connections become real. [28:26] Tell me about those first few months after you quit. Rob said at 4 months he had done a lot of the brain work. He was trying to connect to his emotions and doing real work on himself. Then in October 2019, a driver ran a red light and collided with the side of his car going 55 MPH. He suffered a traumatic brain injury. While physically ok, he had to/has to work hard to get back to himself and heal himself, again. [35:00] Do you still get cravings and how do you handle them? Rob said he does still get cravings. And when he does, he goes into his sobriety toolbox. The first thing he does is wait 20 minutes and then he has to figure out why the craving happened. If that doesn't work he page 84's his sponsor. This means: working the steps in your everyday life. [39:16] Do you ever get push back from people when you tell them you don't drink? Rob said no one gives him push back. [40:33] Rapid Fire Round What is a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? That first night at AA, I'm ok and I'm not alone. If you could talk to day 1 Rob, what would you say? 10 deep breaths and give yourself a big hug. What are you excited about right now? Butt Burner Gold which is 1500 miles in 24 hours on a motorcycle. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are thinking about ditching the booze? Stick around. Do the work. It's worth it. One day you will wake up and see that it's all worth it, you have this nice little life now. You may have to say adios to booze... If you got kicked out of public school for drinking and your parents put you into a parochial school and you show up to bible study drunk. Odette's challenge this week: Close your eyes for a few minutes and think about the things that bring you peace. Drop them down and keep them close. Get in the habit of looking for this peaceful feeling. Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link. Upcoming events, retreats and courses: Recovery Elevator's first ever REgionals! Join us for our online zoom conference this October 23-24th. This event is for Café RE Members only. Not a member yet?! Sign up here and use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. D

Will took his last drink April 10, 2018. With just over 2 years away from alcohol (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette's weekly installment of: Finding the Better You….. Navigating through tough times. Removing alcohol allows you to actually do something about a problem, however sometimes without alcohol in front of it, a problem can present more clearly. It's hard to do the hard thing and easy to pretend our problems aren't really there. We have a choice to accept the problem (the storm) as it presents itself and its aftereffects as part of a life without alcohol. [7:01] Odette introduces Will. Will is 43 and lives in Queens, NY. He's an IT consultant and married with a dog. For fun he loves to be outdoors, surfing, live music, cooking, biking, running and traveling. [9:34] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Will said he was 12 when he has his first drink on vacation, but he considers his real entrance to alcohol was around the age of 15. It dissolved the anxiety he felt in social situations. In college he went full force into drinking and it quickly became a daily habit. He sought out others who drank like he did. [12:57] Were you a high performer in school? Will said alcohol did impact his school work. He had no direction for what he wanted to do the rest of his life. He found himself drinking in exchange for doing things he loved. [14:22] What happened after college? Will said followed a band he loved around the country and fully fell into the drinking and partying culture. [16:18] Did you ever question your drinking? Will said no, because he had surrounded himself with a culture of drinking and partying. So, he was around it and it was normalized within his circle. [18:23] Walk me through your next life chapter? Will said he moved to Washington state with his now wife and went back to school. There was less drinking, and he was able to focus on his schoolwork and life. He found some balance mixed in with the pockets of crazy times. Once he finished school he moved back to New York and began work, but also was staying out late drinking. He noticed the change in his physical alcohol dependance at this moment. [22:34] Did you introduce moderation rules? Will said he attempted moderation at home and it simply evaporated over time. [23:21] Did you start having conversations with your wife about this? Will said him and his wife were both "in it" at the time. (She is also now in recovery.) There was enabling happening and it was difficult to navigate. [24:05] Did you have a rock bottom? Will said he sought out a doctor to prescribe him something to help him get through the physical dependency. However, looking back, that was just another layer onto addiction. This went on for years with a chaotic life and drinking. He sought treatment after two friends expressed concern in 2016. He did a 28-day inpatient program. While he wasn't ready fully for recovery, but at the same time wanted to change his life. He made it through but relapsed within 60 days. [29:14] Walk me through 2016 – 2018. Will said he was trying in those two years, but it seemed impossible. While he was in and out of the AA rooms, he wasn't doing the work that he was told was needed. April 10, 2018, he entered a detox again after 3 days of a mental psychosis. [33:13] What changed this time? Will said there was enough pain in his life, he realized he needed to make a change. [34:30] Do you still get cravings? Will said not really, he gets fleeting thoughts. [34:40] What your biggest way of coping with uncomfortable feelings? Will said you get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Once he started to take his sobriety seriously, he accepted the program he was being told to work. He can now make sense of his feelings without alcohol numbing them down. There's purpose in the struggles we go through. [37:45] Have you healed the nerve damage in your feet at all? Will said the rest of his body has healed which helps the pain overall. That makes the nerve pain manageable as a whole. He looks at the pain as a high power telling him to move. So that's actually the gift that came from all this. [40:12] When you left treatment, what was your plan? Will said he jumped into AA. He was open to anything recovery related. [43:55] What's your favorite NA drink? Will said he's a club soda guy. Nothing fancy. [44:27] Have you ever gotten push back from people? Will said no one has given him pushback on his desire to lead a life without alcohol. But also, that's a little telling to the condition he was in, everyone could see he needed help. [45:47] Rapid Fire Round If you could talk to day 1 Will, what would you say? You're 100% worth it and you are a lot stronger than you could ever imagine. What are you excited about right now? Grateful to have the tools that he has and to see where this takes us and the ability to give back. What's your favorite flavor of ice cream? Salted caramel anything. What are

Kevin took his last drink April 11, 2020. With just over 3 months away from alcohol (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette's weekly installment of: Finding the Better You….. Receiving feedback and how to do better. After a negative comment / feedback from a listener, Odette took the comments and the feedback and is seeing this as an opportunity to do better. It seems these days that "do better" is being used more and explored. This was the universe reminding her that she is worthy, the listener is worthy, and everyone is worthy. She has gratitude and love for the listener because they allowed to her see something from a different perspective. If you have feedback, please send an email to Odette. [7:23] Odette introduces Kevin. Kevin is 59 and originally from Philadelphia, he has lives in Florida for the past 20 years. He's a printer and works for the schoolboard. He's married and loves cooking, traveling and doing charcoal portraits. [9:13] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Kevin said that when he was 7, he became the drink maker at his grandparents' card games. He would have some whiskey and ginger ale himself. In 4th grade he was bullied, so he would go home at lunch to eat but also to do a few shots of liquor so he could deal with that. In high school he fell in with a crowd that drank and also sold drugs. He continued in that pattern until he met his now wife at the age of 33. He quit the drugs, but his drinking continued to escalate. In 2017 he spent 3 days in a psych ward, leaving there he sent to AA and a counselor, but it never really took, and he relapsed. [12:26] Did anybody notice that all this was happening when you were so young? Kevin said that he was a latch key kid, so his use of alcohol wasn't noticed. And when he was in high school, he was always out of the house and with friends, so again, it wasn't noticed. However, he says that while in high school he knew he had a bad alcohol problem on his hands. [14:22] Did you ever reach out to somebody in those early days or was alcohol normalized in your family? Kevin said his grandfather owned a bar and his parents had an active social life and he was a bartender at different points, so alcohol was always a part of his life. [15:03] How did alcohol cause conflict in your marriage(s)? Kevin said in his first marriage they were both very immature and it wasn't ever going to last. With his second wife, he emulated her and wanted her to be proud of him. It never worked out however and he felt he was always disappointing her. [16:40] What happened that made you want to reach out and get help? Kevin said there were a lot of moments. Between injuries, unhealthy arguments and car accidents there were lots of red flags. He always thought he had it under control. He doesn't have an off switch. [18:55] What happened in April of this year? Kevin said this time he wanted to get sober and committed to AA, he didn't have another second chance in him. He was tired of playing the alcohol game, wondering where he would get more and having alcohol control his life. [20:49] What do you do when you get a craving? Kevin said he changes his environment right away. He gets out of where he is and tries to get a new headspace. In about 30 minutes time the craving is gone. He doesn't call them alcohol cravings, but more the idea of alcohol gets in his brain. Kevin uses the Merriam Webster app and it gives him a "word of the day". He takes that word and tries to apply it to his sobriety throughout the day. This gives him a fresh perspective to sobriety over and over. [23:00] Tell me about your family dynamics? Kevin said for 24 years he was a tornado leaving a path of devastation through his marriage. They are trying to figure things out and he wants his wife to be happy and have a good life. [26:02] What is your favorite thing about the AA program? Kevin said the communication and connection with other people in recovery. [28:20] Are there any other resources that have been helping you in this journey? Kevin said he always has something going on to fill his time. Between podcasts and reading or going to meetings. [28:58] What's your favorite NA drink? Iced coffee, with coffee ice cubes. [29:36] Did you notice a change in your sugar intake? Kevin said he never had a sweet tooth until he stopped drinking. But now he adds honey to his oats! He's trying to scale back his sugar intake. [30:52] What's your go-to response when someone offers you a drink? Kevin said he tells people "I'm an alcohol and I'm living it sober". He has no reservations about telling people. [31:30] Do you notice any pushback from people who you tell? Kevin said the friends he has in Florida are accepting and have been nothing but positive. [33:07] What are you excited about right now? Kevin is excited about the future. He wants to get involved with helping other people in recovery. [34:47] Has your sleep improved? Kevin said he wasn't a gre

Taylor took his last drink June 7, 2019. With just over 13 months away from alcohol (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette's weekly installment of: Finding the Better You….. WAIT WAIT! It's Paul's 6 year Sober-versary! So instead we bring you Paul's 6 big insights since his handing off the podcast to Odette. People are struggling right now due to Covid, but let's not label this as a problem. Let's go within and have some spiritual growth. Turn off the news. The ego always sets its own trap. Pets are the reason the human race hasn't imploded yet. He has gained empathy. It's never too late to accomplish a goal. Bonus insight: Paul's parents are RAD! [19:08] Paul introduces Taylor. Taylor is 30 years old and lives in Thornton, Colorado with his two dogs, Harley and Rooster. While he's lived in many places over the years, he grew up in Sacramento, California and now is in Colorado. He loves walking his dogs, record and write music, rock climbing, mountain biking, photography, hiking, skiing, snowboarding, wakeboarding, video editing and D&D. He likes to try all the hobbies now. [23:54] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Taylor said he started exploring alcohol around age 14. He wanted to see what alcohol was all about. He didn't really touch alcohol again until he was about 16, mostly in High School he smoked weed. However, alcohol did allow him to fit in. His father and stepmother caught him smoking weed in college and made the decision to send him to live with his mother. This started his "victims' story" because he wasn't allowed to smoke weed anymore, so he was "forced to drink alcohol". He saw his career grow however by quitting smoking weed, but there was alcohol ever present. At 26 he found himself trying to moderate alcohol. Just before he deployed to Afghanistan, he thought to stop drinking a few days before, and he found himself in withdrawals. After not drinking while overseas, he ordered a drink on the plane home. Being home he was again trying to moderate. [33:53] Tell me about going back to drinking after returning from Afghanistan? Taylor said that he understood that he had seen the "other side of life" and you can never really go back. Alcohol just isn't the same and he knew he was doomed. After his girlfriend left, was his rock bottom moment. [42:19] Walk me through those first 30 days? Taylor said he fully dove into recovery: "I sober like I drank". When his father left, he kept going to therapy and AA. His pink cloud lasted 3 months and the energies to stay sober were stronger than his desire to drink. He found a lot of humility and got a sponsor and started working the steps. [47:09] Can you share with listeners the difference between your 29th and your 30th birthdays? Taylor said on his 29th birthday was in his first 30 days of sobriety. He sat at home and he didn't have anything to do or anyone to hang out with. He called a newfound AA friend and he came over and they watched TV together. His 30th birthday he had 20 people show up to his birthday, from all parts of his life. He was humbled in that moment of the work that he had done to be the authentic Taylor. [50:44] Do you still get cravings? Taylor said yes. His alter drinking ego is named Gregory and he's no longer the enemy of Taylor. Gregory still tries to get him to drinking, but he can have the conversation with Gregory about why they aren't going to drink. Taylor treats Gregory like a sick child, with care and compassion. Cravings are now fleeting thoughts. [57:47] Rapid Fire Round What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Peanut butter and banana with candied bacon milkshake What would you say to your younger self? Slow down, be gentle, be kind. What are some of your favorite resources in recovery? People, AA, The Calm App, Nature, Café RE, a picture of a dog. Books: Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn The Tao of Pooh & The Te of Piglet by Benjamin Hoff What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are thinking about ditching the booze? To be kind to yourself today and do the next kind thing. You may have to say adios to booze... If you have driven to another state to buy more alcohol because the stores in your state are closed. Odette's final thoughts this week: Congratulations Paul. You are loved, supported and you are worth it. Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link. Upcoming events, retreats and courses: Recovery Elevator's first ever REgionals! Join us for our online zoom conference this October 23-24th. This event is for Café RE Members only. Not a member yet?! Sign up here and use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why and the How. The new course will start 11/3/20. It's free for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here