Recovery Elevator

Today we have Fanny. She is 39 years old and lives in Wilmington, NC. She took her last drink on February 3rd, 2021. Recovery Elevator is going back to Peru in October 2025. On this 10-night, 11-day trip of a lifetime, we will be hiking the Inca Trail and participating in two service projects. Registration opens January 13th and closes May 30th in order to secure tickets to the Inca Trail. Sponsors for this episode: Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [01:43] Intro: Better Rhodes recently sent Paul a couple of drinks to sample, and he shares that they were all fantastic. Gone are the days when O'Doul's was the only alcohol-free option around. Paul says his favorite was Hiyo. Better Rhodes – code RECOVERYELEVATOR15 [04:05] More thoughts from Paul: Paul shares an article called Benefits of Play for Adults that shares the importance of being playful as adults. Remember that as a child, you were naturally playful without alcohol. Somewhere along the way we forget how to be playful and then we link alcohol with having fun. This is great news for healing. Just like some of us have goals to hit a certain amount of steps in our day, you should aim to have at least a certain amount of laughs. Laughter is the best medicine and some of the side effects may be a boost to your immune system, release of endorphins, reduction of stress and anxiety and improvement of mood. Your job, listeners, is to have fun. The healing pathway will contain challenges, but overall, it cannot be more stressful or boring than when you were drinking. You need to have fun and please don't take yourself too seriously at any moment on this journey. [09:48] Paul introduces Fanny: Fanny has lived in NC most of her life and recently proposed to her fiancé who she plans to marry in March. For her profession, she says it's all things food. Recipe developer, food writer and content creator. For fun, Fanny enjoys outside activities such as biking, hiking and walking her dogs. During high school and college, Fanny says she drank like any other college kid and always enjoyed a party. Over time, Fanny found herself using alcohol to push down negativity and some lingering questions about her sexuality. When Fanny moved to California for a while, she said drinking was fun again. She says she learned a lot about herself there including that she didn't want to be an actress, her real passion was food, and she found herself wanting to return to North Carolina. After moving back, Fanny met someone, and they eventually married. Drinking was a big part of their lifestyle. They moved to Illinois for his job right before the pandemic and found themselves isolated without family and friends. Fanny says the drinking ramped up and there were some incidents that gave her a lot of guilt and shame. They eventually divorced and Fanny moved back to NC. Fanny started a relationship with a friend from college who expressed their concerns over drinking because their ex had an issue. Fanny assured her that she was not like she was in college. After a two-day bender, it was Fanny's girlfriend that helped her call her parents and get some help. Fanny was able to find a rehab in Western NC with the help of her therapist. Fanny says the first few days were tough, but eventually she settled in and became a sponge trying to learn everything about the addiction. Through her rehab she was exposed to several different recovery modalities and found she enjoys Recovery Dharma the most. She really identifies and enjoys the Buddhist perspective on recovery. Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down; we got to take the stairs back up. We can do this. Café RE - promo code OPPORTUNITY waives the set up fee RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Jason. He is 56 years old and from Minneapolis, MN. He took his last drink on December 31st, 2021. Sponsors for this episode: Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [01:06] Intro: In today's episode you are going to hear Jason say that he doesn't identify as an alcoholic. How many alcoholics do you think have been interviewed on the podcast? Paul says the answer is zero. Zero because whenever people hear the word alcoholic, the first things that come to mind are homeless, living under a bridge, brown paper bag. Zero guests have fit this description. Studies show that only 5% of alcoholics are actually homeless, living under a bridge, etc. However we are all walking the same path regardless of how far it takes us. It's never too late to get help, and we've got your back. The real villain here is alcohol, not the addict. In 2024, you can be alcohol-free, you can be sober, you can be sober curious, you can be an alcoholic in recovery. At the end of the day it's all about getting honest with yourself. [04:16] More thoughts from Paul: Drinking can be challenging in the first 30 days. Paul shares with us a piece about this that uses an analogy comparing our brain and neurotransmitters to toy boxes and toys. During recovery, our brain is resetting itelf now that the alcohol is halted. This will take time. A couple of week to a couple of months. Go slow, be kind to yourself and let the body heal. Your part is not drinking, and the universe solves the other part which is time. [07:36] Paul introduces Jason: Jason has lived in Minnesota all of his lfe, currently in Minneapolis. He is married with two sons, 14 and 12. He works in sales. Jason says for fun, he is getting into golf and he is a pilot who enjoys flying for fun as well as for business. Jason says he had his first drink as a junior in high school. It wasn't a remarkable event but he ended up becoming a typical drinker: parties and weekends, etc. He got married when he was 21 to his first wife, and she did not drink. Therefore Jason didn't drink much during his 20s. The company he worked in sales for, had a big drinking culture that Jason started to get more involved in. Around the same time his marriage wasn't working out and he found himself divorced and drinking more often afterwards. At the time it didn't feel out of control although in hindsight Jason feels it was excessive – almost daily and every weekend complete with hangovers. In his 40s Jason met his current wife who is a social drinker. His drinking continued, but he did begin to question it. He began to try a lot of methods of moderations, some of them worked for him but it became exhausting after doing it for about five years. On December 17th of 2021, he had decided he was going to quit. He says he drank a lot for the first week or so after that as a reminder to himself of how bad it was. On New Year's Eve, Jason had two beers and ended up dumping out half of his third. He was done. Jason said the first month went well and the biggest thing he missed was having something to look forward to. Once he made the decision it wasn't that hard for Jason. Jason shares that he read a lot and listened to podcasts which really helped him. He mentions the book Almost Alcoholic which helped him identify that he was in the middle ground with his drinking. Jason has had no desire to return to drinking and his cravings were few and far between over the last nearly three years. Going forward, Jason wants to find more hobbies and things he enjoys doing with his kids. He enjoys the subtle calm that is in his life now. Jason's parting piece of guidance: you don't have to identify as an alcoholic for quitting to be the best option for you. Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down, we got to take the stairs back up. I love you guys. We can do this. Café RE - promo code OPPORTUNITY waives the set up fee RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have James. He is 33 years old from Birmingham, UK and he took his last drink in May 30th, 2023. Café RE is now off of Facebook and we have our own app. If you're looking for accountability with others who are ditching the booze or have already done so, we'd love to have you. Drop the Bottle Sponsors for this episode: Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [03:57] Thoughts from Paul: Today's guest James said something that sparked a dormant memory for Paul, which was to drink yourself sober. Paul shares how in the summer of 2014, he knew he was quitting drinking, it was just a matter of time. He was reading quit lit and the alcohol was no longer working for him. Trying to expedite the quitting, Paul drank with the intent to give himself more reasons to quit. Even though he does not recommend anyone do this he shares this as a reminder that paid that we listen to, embrace, and no longer run from can be one of the best teachers. It can shine light on where not to go. And pain is also the crack where the light of healing enters. As Paul has mentioned in a recent episode – it takes what it takes, and he had to embrace the pain and even purposely step into it more in order to start the healing. [08:52] Paul introduces James: James is 33 years old; he works in administration at a university. He is a musician in a few bands and has been doing a lot of touring. He also enjoys reading, walking with his partner and spending time with his cats. James shares that he doesn't remember his first drink but remembers a few occasions in his teens where he went overboard when there was free access to alcohol. He says it was clear from the start that he was "all or nothing" when it came to drinking. Between ages 18 and 26, James worked in bars and was around alcohol a good bit. He also got introduced to other drugs but saw his usage of alcohol and drugs just part of the lifestyle. Both James and his partner had transitioned to 9-5 jobs. He says he took the lifestyle with him, but she did not. This contributed to them drifting apart. Since he was able to work hard and party hard, he didn't see an issue. After moving to another town alone, James says there was less of a balance between work and play and on a few occasions feels he should have lost his job. If anyone ever spoke to him about his drinking, he would brush it off as he was just living in the moment and as an artist the struggle would benefit his work. Off and on, James would moderate and was able to quit for a bit in 2020. After a little over 100 days, he felt like the monotony of the day-to-day got to him and he started drinking again. He didn't care much about his job and was somewhat relieved to be able to go to gigs with the bands and not worry about not drinking. He ended up moving back to Birmingham and reconnecting with his partner. They moved in together with the rule that he wouldn't bring that lifestyle home. James started the job he has now and started only drinking on the weekends or at gigs with the band. Over time, he recognized that alcohol was creating a lot of problems for him and it was no longer much fun. On May 31st James decided he had to let it go for good. It wasn't his first rodeo, so he knew what to expect. Accepting that nothing worth doing is going to be easy was helpful for him. He is making living amends with his partner and says it means more to him than he can put into words that she has been there for him through it all. James treats every day like day one and checks into sober communities often. He says he scared himself straight and keeps a mindfulness around cravings and that drinking one help anything. James' parting piece of guidance: If you're thinking about it, you probably need to. There is no shame in falling and picking yourself back up. Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, got to take the stairs back up. We can do this. RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Dave. He is 46 and lives in Boston. He took his last drink on March 5th, 2023. Sponsors mentioned in this episode: Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. There are two spots left on our next Alcohol-Free travel trip to Vietnam. This upcoming January 9th-20th, 2025, we're heading to this incredible Southeast Asia paradise for 10 days and 11 nights with 25 travelers who are done nursing hangovers. On January 1st, 2025, join us for Dry January. We meet 14 times as a group during the moth and the session days are Sundays, Mondays and Thursdays. And in February, we are doing out first ever alcohol-free Singer/Songwriter course. In this six week course you'll learn all about the song writing process, hear from professional musicians about how they write songs, and you'll write and perfect your own song during the course. Experience with an instrument is recommended to required as this is not a "how to play and instrument" course. [03:32] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares that when he first began his alcohol-free journey, the word "recovery" was loaded for him. He initially didn't want anything to do with it and didn't really understand what it meant. In a post from Café RE a member named Adam shared a little about what recovery means to him. Paul expands on that commenting about what recovery means to him as well. Russell Brand sums it up pretty well by saying we are "recovering the person we are meant to be." We have no chance of doing this with alcohol in our lives, or at least, many of us don't. There is no right or wrong way to ditch the booze and take what you want and leave the rest. Paul says he isn't suggesting building your own program from scratch at the beginning. Pick a program or community and give it your all. If there is something that scares you, that's where you need to go. Recovery is uncomfortable at first, but definite worth it. [08:36] Paul introduces Dave: Dave was born and raised in the Boston area. He has been married for 20 years and has two girls that are 16 and 13 years old. He enjoys all things sports including golf and spending time supporting his daughter who plays hockey. He also enjoys reading and exercise. Dave grew up in a tight knit family with a father that had chronic illness. He says that his father's illness as well as the illnesses of other family members really shaped his life, and he never felt safe. Dave witnessed his parents drink, but never saw them drunk. He avoided drinking throughout high school as a rule follower and it created anxiety for him when he did. In college, he did drink a bit on the weekends, but nothing crazy. Dave says once he recognized that the drinking stopped some anxiety, that is when a problem developed. He would drink casually on the weekdays and more on the weekends. As life began to be a little more stressful after having kids, every social even revolved around having drinks. Since drinking helped him feel safe, he started doing it more frequently over time. A health scare had Dave thinking about his drinking for the first time. He didn't quit right away but did start seeing a therapist and talking about it. He decided to quit for a while, but never committed to it long term. Dave started drinking again and it increased gradually over time. Over the next few years, it increased in quantity and frequency. Another health event 18 months ago found Dave realizing he needed to commit to quitting. His first week was really tough with anxiety and poor sleep. Podcasts and therapy along with joining Café RE were very helpful for Dave. After several months, it was his wife that helped him realize that he is now a non-drinker. For Dave the top three benefits of being AF are a clear mind, presence and confidence. Dave's parting piece of guidance: Just do it and stay with it. Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, got to take the stairs back up. You can do this. RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Don. He is 44 and lives in Clarkson, MI. He took his last drink on November 15th, 2021. Sponsors mentioned in this episode: Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. The theme for this podcast is I am Here, I am Whole. What does that mean? It means, that in this moment, the only moment that has ever mattered or ever existed, I choose to be here, and I will view myself as whole. Please don't kick the can of wholeness, authenticity and self-love down the road. It has to be now. [04:22] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares that he really enjoyed the book Dopamine Nation by Dr. Anna Lembke, minus one part of it that talks about a dopamine fast as a way to beat an addiction. A recent NYT article summarizes why Paul doesn't like the dopamine fast idea. It has to do with the quote that "it's less about quitting drinking, and more about creating a life that doesn't require alcohol". There are many healthier ways to release dopamine, such as hobbies you enjoy, that don't involve your drug of choice. Trying new things helps us release dopamine as well. The last paragraph of the article says "consequently, America's problem isn't that we're a bunch of hedonists hooked on capitalism's dopamine hits, it's that so many of us aren't able to get our social, physical and emotional needs met in healthy ways. Instead of a dopamine fast, we need a dopamine feast - one that makes us want experiences we actually like, rather than compulsively responding to craving". [08:36] Paul introduces Don: Don is an anesthesiologist, and he lives in Clarkston, MI. He started enjoying traveling since his mid-30s and has been to 30 countries, five continents and heading to Antarctica at the end of the year. Don is a big fan of sports and roots for the teams out of Detroit. Alcohol always seemed to have a positive light around it when Don was younger. Whether it was a gathering or party the adults seemed more relaxed, happy and silly. It always seemed like something to look forward to when he got older. Being more of a goody-two-shoes, Don says, he didn't try alcohol until the summer after school ended. He recalls feeling like he was comfortable in his own skin and his racing thoughts relaxed. Don says he was immediately someone that couldn't stop drinking once he started. Don says his 20s were spent in school and would drink heavily maybe once a month. In his 30s after graduating and feeling he achieved all of his goals, he wondered "what's next?" Don says that alcohol didn't answer the question, but it prevented him from having to answer it. Don says that he realized he was gay as a young man and never wanted to deal with it. Drinking helped him push that away too. COVID sped up the inevitable, Don says. Having more time off work due to less surgeries being performed; Don would start drinking more on his off days. Once work became busy again, he's drinking continued where it was and started affecting his work. When Don arrived at work still drunk after a Labor Day weekend binge, he says receiving a call from his boss was relief. When Don started rehab, he knew he was going to need to address being gay in addition to having a drinking problem. After completing rehab, Don began attending a program for health professionals that gives him the accountability he needed. Don says AA is a big part of his life now. He says he enjoys the community and accountability. He is testing out dating to see if it's something that he wants to do. After falling in love with Costa Rica, he decided to build a house there. The greatest gift Don says he was given in sobriety is the ability to be present. Don's parting piece of guidance: Just start. You've got to start somewhere and if that's rehab, than so be it. Take a break from your job, people will be much more supportive than you think they will. Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, got to take the stairs back up. I love you guys. RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Leah from Akron, OH. She took her last drink on September 4th, 2022. Sponsors mentioned in this episode: Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. Tonight is our first session of our Ditching the Booze Mindfulness course. It will be on Monday nights at 7:30 EST for the next five weeks. This course will teach you the basics of mindfulness and mediation. It is included with Café RE membership. Visit Café RE to sign up if you aren't already a member. Speaking of Café RE, our community is no longer on Facebook. We have found a new home that is off social media, and it now has an app that you can find in the app stores. [03:28] Thoughts from Paul: The only thing harder than forgiveness is the opposite – resentments. It is important that we begin with forgiving ourselves. It takes what it takes for you to get sober and quit drinking. There is no set pathway into and out of a drinking problem. Paul believes this is one of the reasons why alcohol-free communities are so non-judgmental, loving and accepting. Those who have quit drinking know that it takes what it takes. Paul shares some "it takes what it takes" stories from himself and others working on their alcohol-free journey. Never quit quitting and you will find your way. It takes what it takes. [08:20] Paul introduces Leah: At the time of recording, Leah is celebrating 2 years alcohol-free. She grew up in Akron Ohio, she is 36 and just got married, they have a 3-month-old daughter. For fun Leah enjoys hiking, singing, hanging out with friends and spending time with her baby. Leah shares the story of what drove her to make the decision to quit drinking. After waking up on a bench next to a river and realizing that she was barefoot and had walked over a mile in a blackout, she feared what might happen next if she continued to drink. Leah began drinking in high school and felt that it gave her courage to be herself. She says she was always addicted to that feeling. After leaving a bad relationship to an alcoholic, Leah started dating her now-husband. He is a normal drinker and Leah felt safe with him. Leah says over time her drinking increased and the blackouts started. She says she isn't the same person when she drinks and would often get angry and start fights with her partner. Waking up feeling regret and shame and promising she wouldn't do it again became commonplace for Leah. It was Leah's therapist through Betterhelp that suggested she check out some podcasts and that's how Leah stumbled upon RE. She says she just started listening from the beginning and found the interviews with others very helpful and she no longer felt alone in this battle. Leah says since quitting drinking, she has lost weight and feels better overall. The first year she struggled with boredom since drinking was her hobby. She has been working on her unresolved childhood trauma and learning how to be herself without drinking. Leah's emotions have leveled out and she no longer gets angry as often as she used to. Leah and her husband are still able to share the same hobbies, and she now drinks NA beers. Cravings have not been a big issue for her, she remembers how bad the following days were when she would drink, and it helps her stay grounded. In the future, Leah would like to have another child, but she is comfortable where she is right now. Leah's parting piece of guidance: one day at a time. Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home I love you guys RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Kurtis. He is 32 from Seattle, WA and took his last drink on October 12th, 2023. Sponsors mentioned in this episode: Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. Paul loves pickles but doesn't love to be in them. When it comes to drinking, this quote shows up often: "When I controlled my drinking, I didn't enjoy it. When I enjoyed my drinking, I couldn't control it." That is a good example of what it is like to be in a pickle with your drinking. DTB Mindfulness course starts Monday October 7th for 5 weeks. This course is for Café RE members only, and we would love for you to join us! Visit Café RE to sign up if you aren't already a member. [03:32] Thoughts from Paul: While the tallest tree on the planet currently is a redwood but it would be the Douglas Fir if we stopped cutting them down. Scientists theorize the highest a tree can pull water up it's roots is 480 feet and that's how big the Douglas Fir trees were back in the early 1800's before we began harvesting them. Paul shares with us his love of trees and how they have helped him on his recovery journey. He also shares some facts about how indigenous people around the world are healthier than we are and how many of them use trees as a source of wholeness that cure physical ailments and mental health conditions. When looking for connection, don't overlook the trees in your back yard that are holding the soil in place. Nature should 100% be part of your recovery portfolio. [10:07] Paul introduces Kurtis: Kurtis currently lives in Seattle, WA and is originally from Detroit. He has two cats and is a musician and a mixing engineer. He says he used to use drinking as a way to be creative and says it has been interesting to figure out his relationship with music without drinking. Kurtis says he didn't drink much in his younger years. He took his first drink at age 21. He was in a lot of bands after moving to Seattle. He would bring beer to practice which quelled his anxiety. After Kurtis was diagnosed with ADHD in 2020, he started taking medication that helped him focus. He admits he took more than prescribed and would then utilize alcohol to help him go to sleep. When waking up with a hangover, his medication would help him combat it. It was a vicious cycle, Kurtis says. Kurtis knew he had issues but couldn't determine whether it the pills or the drinking that was causing the problem. He was having a hard time going more than a few days without drinking and often found himself drinking in the morning. After failed moderation attempts, he ended up having to quit both the alcohol and the medication at the same time in October of 2023. When he made the decision to quit, Kurtis says there were a lot of small rock-bottom moments that led him to it. Kurtis shared that it was tough quitting both things at the same time. He was worried that his productivity would decrease when he had to stop taking the medication. The drinking was slightly easier, however. Without taking the stimulant he wasn't feeling so much anxiety at the end of the day which diminished his desire to drink. Kurtis started finding other activities to fill his time and began to see great results. He was walking a lot, began to lose weight, and started feeling really good. He was able to recognize that quitting drinking opened up a lot of doors for him to feel better. He is more present with others and feels more confident in general. Kurtis shares that the RE podcast has been helpful along with the Reddit Stop Drinking group. Talking about his journey with others has also helped a lot. Kurtis' parting piece of guidance: moderation, research and failing is all part of the process. It's important to be kind to yourself and not feel like you have to match what others are doing. Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you got to take the stairs back up. We can do this. RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Kendra. She is 36 years old from Alexandria, MN and took her last drink on March 22nd, 2024. Sponsors mentioned in this episode: Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. There are 4 million podcasts on iTunes with tens of millions of episodes. Do you want to know what the #1 downloaded episode was, for two years straight? Is was an episode titled - What Alcohol Does to your Body, Brain and Health, by the Stanford Neuroscientist Andrew Huberman. All new registrations for Café RE will be added to our community, which is no longer on Facebook. We have found a place that allows us to make these connections better. Beginning October 1st, all current members will start shifting over there as well. The theme for this podcast is I am Here, I am Whole. These lyrics mean that yes, we can fix, we can make changes, but while listening to this podcast, reinforce the fact that you are not broken. We are all perfectly imperfect, but in this moment, we are all here and we are all whole. [06:15] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares a story about a recent situation involving his goat Hot Dog and some wiring on his truck. After attempting and failing to fix the issue himself, Paul took his truck to the shop where he purchased the truck topper. After several hours of troubleshooting and referencing the vehicle's owner manual, they found a fuse had blown. This was five weeks after the incident. What Paul didn't know was that his taillights had been out as well. The man said that Paul was lucky the cops didn't pull him over for a DUI. Paul quickly shared that he had quit drinking to which the man replied that he had as well. The conversation continued for a bit about their mutual sobriety. One thing Paul has recognized in recovery is that the many teams, committees and organizations he has being involved with are no match for the camaraderie of sobriety. He encourages us to leverage the fact that you don't drink to make deeper connections. [08:44] Paul introduces Kendra: Kendra is 36 and has lived her life in Minnesota all her life. She is an RN that works with kidney doctors. For fun Kendra enjoys outdoor activities, spending time with her daughter and has been getting into meditation lately. About six years ago, Kendra started recognizing that drinking wasn't fostering anything positive in her life. She was going through some major life changes and found herself reevaluating things. Kendra says she didn't have an off switch and found herself drinking too much and being hungover most of the next day. She began to try to quit drinking but found it difficult and she would give into peer pressure a lot. Over the last three years, Kendra attempted many moderation techniques. She was using a sobriety tracker to see her progress. She started bringing NA options to events, and even if she would still drink, she acknowledges that it was less. While there were no stereotypical rock-bottom events, Kendra recognizes that everyone's rock bottom looks different. Also, over the last several years Kendra started listening to podcasts about recovery and found the book This Naked Mind by Annie Grace which she feels helped her. She says everything was lining up to push her towards what life could look like without alcohol. Kendra said she only had eight drinks from January to March this year. Her quit date is a few days after her father's 39th sobriety anniversary. Kendra says that listening to other's stories has been helpful. She finds that being prepared and planning before going to social functions is important. Kendra's best sober moment: where she can be present with her daughter and remember everything. Kendra's parting piece of guidance: keep it simple and just try to keep logging those days. One decision at a time and focus on your overall health. Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you got to take the stairs back up. We can do this. RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Brady. He is 43 years old from Denver, CO and took his last drink on July 18th, 2023. Whatever day you are on, we want to hear it, see it and support you. On Sundays, head on over to RE on Instagram and post on our Roll Call. Let the world know where you are at. Sponsors mentioned in this episode: Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [03:57] Thoughts from Paul: For 500 straight Mondays, Recovery Elevator has released an episode with someone sharing how they quit drinking. We do this to help, to serve, and also selfishly since Paul and all members of the team are also on this AF journey. Paul started this podcast in 2015 and just celebrated 10 years since his last drink. He shares how he started the Recovery Elevator Sobriety Tracker. He also shares that since starting, we now have Café RE, have done five international sober travel trips, have had 15 official RE retreats, and over 1500 people have signed up for our courses. Paul shares what he is most happy about are the gains in his personal life. He is married and has a three-month-old son and is well into a creating a life that no longer requires alcohol. The lyrics to the new intro song: "I am here, I am whole" remind us that there is nothing wrong with us, we are not fractured, and we can correct the imbalance in our lives. And we don't have to do it alone. I am Here, I am Whole on Spotify: [11:00] Paul introduces Brady: At the time of recording, Brady just celebrated one year alcohol free! Paul and Brady have been friends for a very long time, and both acknowledge that it's good be on the other side of their drinking times to now sharing sobriety with one another. Brady and lives in the suburbs of Denver, he is 43 years old and is a realtor and formerly a high school teacher. Brady is married and they have a five-year-old son. Brady says he drank more than the average high school student. He thinks his drinking in college was on par with normal for that time of life. It wasn't until his late thirties that he started to realize that his relationship with alcohol wasn't good. He feels that the time during COVID just normalized drinking at home for him. It became an everyday thing, and he slowly stopped having any interest in anything other than drinking. An acute panic attack one night found him feeling empty. When he talked to his mom about it, she asked if he had been drinking. It was then that he started to connect the dots and was on the road to exploring the role alcohol had in his life. He never considered himself an alcoholic, but knew he was not living the life he wanted to. Since quitting drinking, Brady has lost 20 pounds, is says he is more aware of what he is doing and it's more purposeful. Brady has discovered that everything is clearer now. He mentions listening to The Huberman Lab podcast about alcohol really helped him in addition to Alan Carr's book about quitting drinking. Learning what alcohol really does to us has been an important tool for Brady. He has not attended AA but had a lot of support from people around him and was comfortable sharing with them. Brady has shifted his identity to no longer being a dude that drinks. Brady's parting piece of guidance: just do it, find those resources that will help you. Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.

Today we have Kerri. She is 55 years old, lives in Redding, CA and took her last drink on March 2nd, 2022. Sponsors mentioned in this episode: Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:47] Thoughts from Paul: Prior to AA, alcoholism was considered a fatal disease. In less than 100 years, so much progress has been made in how alcoholism is viewed and treated. Now there is 100% a way out. We now know the most potent antidote to addiction is connection. And this looks like community, preferably one that contains a lot of laughter, which we have all heard is the best medicine. Paul shares with us that when he was crafting the recent Bozeman Retreat's itinerary, he spent a lot of time thinking about one of the activities he was considering: a Skee-Ball tournament. The retreat is already full of the standard heavy hitters of share groups, breathwork, etc. but he wanted to try something different. Check out the pictures of the event in the post today: RE on Instagram So, 100 years ago, it was shock therapy and isolation to cure alcoholism. Today it's Skee-Ball, laughter, and connection. [10:34] Kris introduces KMac: Kerri is 55 years old and lives in Redding, CA. She has two adult daughters and five grandchildren. She is married and they have two dogs. For fun, Kerri has recently gotten into ultrarunning. She works full time for RE/Café RE as the community manager and event coordinator. Kerri says she started drinking in high school and was a blackout drinker from the beginning. She and her first husband drank a lot during their marriage, and it escalated for Kerri after their divorce. Kerri became a teacher later in life, but her drinking caused her to lose multiple teaching jobs over the course of a few years. She was involved with her local AA group and had a sponsor during this time. She ended up joining Café RE and rather quickly, volunteered to help do the show notes for the podcast. Over time her involvement with RE evolved. Kerri had over a year alcohol free before the binge drinking returned. She had stopped counting days and recognized that it made it easier for her to drink. Currently days are very important to Kerri. As Kerri began working more for RE, she feels that it took away the community for her. She didn't feel comfortable sharing her struggles within the groups because of her role. Knowing that she couldn't recover alone, Kerri began to open up and have tough conversations with the RE team. She was at the point where she was feeling like she was never going to be able to quit and found herself, with the encouragement of others, making the decision to go to inpatient rehab. Kerri says that being The Hab was tough at first and a lot of the people there were younger than her. After finding a good counselor and therapist, she was able to finally start opening up and sharing. At the end of 60 days, it was recommended she continue, so she stayed an additional 30. After leaving she continued to do what she was doing while she was in rehab, which helps. She used to question why she drank like she did, but over time has decided it doesn't matter. Kerri says the biggest thing she has learned about herself is the importance of truly believing she is worthy. She is now able to recognize when she has feelings and being able to share them. She is more likely to ask for help when she needs it. To the listener that is experiencing their own version of pacing around the living room not wanting to drink, Kerri wants to remind them that it's not too late, this doesn't have to be who you are or the road that you go down, you are worth asking for help and there is a community out there that are willing to walk that path with you. Kerri's first episode: RE Episode 255 Recovery Elevator You're the only one that can do this, but you don't have to do it alone. Love you guys. Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Ava. She is 17 years old and lives in Central North Dakota. She has been sober since October 13th, 2006. Sponsors for this episode: Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [03:16] Meat and Potatoes Time: A few months ago, after a lot of prayer and consideration, Kris had a tough call with Paul. While he enjoys his job as podcast host immensely, his life has been changing. His kids are getting older and busier, and he has opportunities to step up his investment in his local community. Kris shares what this podcast has meant to him both as an interviewer and as a long-time listener. All of our stories have values, and he reminds us of the importance of being a light. No one lights a lamp and then covers it with a wash tub or shoves it under a bed. You set it up on the lampstand so that those who enter the room can see their way. We each have a light in us that is meant to shine. [10:18] Kris introduces Ava: Today Kris is speaking with a very special guest: Ava, his 17-year-old daughter. She works as a nanny and works front desk at a gym. For fun, Ava likes to read and spend time with her friends. Ava shares that the first time she became aware of alcohol's presence in her life was when she was around ten. She noticed that her dad always had beer. She didn't recognize that alcohol was causing a problem in her environment until her parents separated, Dad went to rehab, and they explained things to her. Anxiety was common for Ava during this time. Her mom and dad were fighting a lot, and weren't very present at home, and she found herself looking after her little brother more and more. Ava didn't feel like she had an outlet to share her feelings. She was left feeling like she wasn't good enough and trying to be a people pleaser and take care of others. Ava remembers the last years of Kris drinking as being hard. She had been told that her dad was staying at the lake because it was closer to his work. She didn't realize what was going on until she heard her mother on the phone talking about a divorce. Ava says that was hard to hear. Her parents were trying to protect the kids from what was going on. Ava says that this was a very difficult time for her. Her anxiety was up, and she started internalizing that she was the problem for her parents Going through the transition to middle school was a hard time for Ava. Her anxiety had increased, and she tried really hard to make things go right there since she felt so much instability at home. She was crushed when she and her brother were told their parents were separating. Kris started rehab and was spending as much time with the kids as possible. Time together helped them rebuild a healthy relationship. Ava says some of the anxiety went away and when it comes up for her now, she knows how to deal with it. These days Ava enjoys the time they all spend together as a family. She feels much more comfortable and open with her parents now that things are calmer at home. Having a relationship with God and friends at church and school has been helpful for Ava. Ava looks forward to graduating high school and plans to become a counselor. She has the desire to help people who are going through some of the things she has and mental health in general. Ava's advice for folks going through tough times: taking it one step at a time, it doesn't have to be a big light-switch change Ava's parting piece of guidance for those thinking about sobriety: do it. It is probably the best choice you can make for yourself and those around you. Ava's advice for a loved one of someone with addiction: know that they are loved and valuable and would encourage them to find someone they trust that they can talk to because they are not alone. Recovery Elevator You're the only one that can do this, but you don't have to do it alone. Love you guys. RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Shelby. She is 38 years old and from Windsor Ontario. She took her last drink on December 23rd, 2023. Sponsors for this episode: Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [04:10] Thoughts from Paul: Paul seeks to soften the entry point to AA and simplify the first three steps. For many the steps are intimidating. They are nebulous, part dogmatic and for some there are simply too many God or higher power references. But the do make it clear many times that this God (higher power) is of your understanding. You can even use a red stapler as your higher power – they will fully support you. The first three steps of AA: 1) We admitted we are powerless over alcohol 2) We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity 3) We decided to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him. Which can be broken down to: 1) I can't 2) You can 3) Take it Paul says he feels the most powerful part of AA isn't the God stuff, it's the group. The group is always stronger than the individual. I can't, the group can. Here you go. I'll see you all again tomorrow. [10:18] Paul introduces Shelby: Shelby is 38 years old, lives in Windsor Ontario and works for a car manufacturer on the assembly line. For fun Shelby enjoys all sports, camping and hiking. In high school Shelby was very athletic. When she was 15, she decided to focus on hockey and made it onto a junior team. She learned about hockey culture and part of that is drinking and partying. Due to traveling and playing hockey Shelby didn't have time to drink much during high school. While attending a development camp for hockey, Shelby had an injury that put her on the side lines. Throughout her time at Ohio State, doctors would tell her she was fine as she continued to suffer injuries that eventually required surgery. Shelby had dreamed of going to the Olympics and never considered she might not be able to. She left school early and felt like a failure. Shelby knew her drinking was already an issue, and she needed a change of scenery. Shelby says she didn't have an identity outside of being an athlete. Alcohol and being social became a distraction for her and she avoided playing hockey for a long time. The older she got; the more Shelby didn't feel like she had accomplished anything. Life after being an athlete was tough for her. Around 30 years old she realized she needed to make some healthy changes. She accepted an offer to play hockey with some friends and ended up getting coaching opportunities afterwards. She decided to do it and since she was getting back in shape, she decided to quit drinking for three months which led to almost two years. After losing a close uncle, Shelby drank after his funeral. She continued to drink for a few years and tried using moderation techniques. At an alumni game, she was not able to play due to an unhealed injury. She showed up drunk and ended up losing her coaching job. After this she decided to quit drinking again. Since quitting this time around, Shelby has started attending therapy. This has helped her uncover some of her issues. She does not care for AA and says in the beginning it was hard doing things that she used to do while drinking. Shelby deals with cravings by going for walks, listening to podcasts and using her quit drinking app. She enjoys doing things that she missed out on when she was younger. Shelby also looks forward to trying new things and traveling. Her clarity is so much better, and she loves that she knows she can make plans and keep them. Shelby's parting piece of guidance: start today and start small and take it slow. Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down; we have to take the stairs back up. I love you guys. We can do this. RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have James. He is 40 years old and lives in Melbourne, Australia. He took his last drink on November 20th, 2023. Sponsors for this episode: Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [04:16] Thoughts from Paul: The Paris Olympic Committee opted to not sell alcohol. They were confident that they could have successfully applied to sell alcohol but still decided not to. In an article from NBC News, it mentioned the following: "While many people enjoy a casual drink, that's not always the case. According to estimates by the French Public Health Society, 49,000 people are killed a year by alcohol consumption, which also causes 120 billion euros in damages." Them choosing not to sell alcohol proves that things are changing around the globe regarding alcohol consumption. Expanding on the topic of staying the course from last week's episode, Paul shares that sobriety is a one-way street. He has yet to hear a story where someone with alcohol-free has gone back to drinking and was happy with the decision. The common theme when it comes to what drove them back to alcohol was that they drifted from the AF community and attended less meetings or stopped altogether. They second part of this is they all said it was not a pleasant experience and many ended up right back where they were. Do not beat yourself if you do some field research. We often need those reminders to reinforce internally that you made the right decision. Paul says he hasn't met a single person who said they made the wrong choice when they decided to choose an alcohol-free life. [11:03] Kris introduces James: James lives in a rural area south of Melbourne, Australia. He is married with two kids, enjoys going to the gym and recently started playing football again. James says he had a normal upbringing. He put a lot of pressure on himself and felt like he was always being watched. Alcohol entered his life when he was around 14 and drinking helped him turn things off as an escape and he felt freedom. At 18, James moved out of his parent's home with some older friends and was drinking on extended weekends but still very functional. When he was 20, he ended up moving to London where he felt complete freedom to do whatever he wanted, including living in a pub. James continued the weekend binge drinking with very little consequence. After moving back to Australia in his late 20's, James started a successful business and met the woman who is now his wife. Over time his feelings of not being "good enough" in many areas of his life were very stressful and found James drinking more to self-medicate and disconnect. Towards the end of his drinking, James says he and his wife were very disconnected. He was acting out and taking a lot of risks. After confronting him one day, James told her his life was a mess and she told him it was either rehab or leaving. James opted for the easier option of leaving and chose an Airbnb close to a pub where he could drink and gamble. After a few days of this bender, his wife showed up and lovingly took him home. He started doing research but was scared to commit to inpatient care due to running his business. James eventually found an outpatient treatment that would suit him. He has been alcohol-free ever since. Working on his connections with his family is something James is really proud of. He looks forward to doing the step work with his sponsor in AA and growing stronger spiritually. James' biggest fear around quitting: feeling his feelings and having to digest them. James' favorite resources in recovery: Recovery Elevator podcast and a book with spiritual principles for each day that he can meditate on. James' parting piece of guidance: Stick to it, keep showing up day by day and the magic happens down the track. We are the only ones that can do this RE, but we don't have to do it alone. I love you guys. Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Robbie. He is 28 years old from Palm Springs, CA and took his last drink on January 4th, 2024. Sponsors for this episode: Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [4:28] Thoughts from Paul: You are listening to this podcast because you've correctly identified that alcohol is what is holding you back. You see that alcohol isn't delivering what was promised. Your inner guidance to quit drinking, to explore what that would look like is correct. Stay the course. You're inner voice is spot on. You are on the right path. Paul shares his struggles with finding homeostasis after welcoming his child into the world. He feels his nervous system is stuck in a level of fight or flight. While he is feeling a lot of emotions around this, he reminds himself to stay the course. So, for all of those parents who are seeking sobriety – we will stay the course with you. What does staying the course look like when we depart from alcohol? Maybe it is tuning in to the podcast each week or logging just one more day alcohol-free. Maybe you are working through a quit lit book and the voice is saying it wasn't that bad. Keep reading. Keep listening. Keep showing up. We are on the right path and it's paramount that we stick together. [10:18] Paul introduces Robbie: Robbie lives in Palm Springs, CA. He enjoys tennis, pickleball, golf and interior design. Robbie says he didn't drink much growing up and only started to drink while studying abroad in Australia. He was able to drink socially with little issue. The drinking became more frequent after Robbie had graduated college and was living alone in Denver. He found himself at happy hours and then returning home to continue to drink. At the time, Robbie knew that his drinking wasn't normal but chalked it up to being a phase. During COVID lockdowns, Robbie ended up moving back to Montana to stay with his parents. Drinking was a great excuse since he didn't have obligations. After moving back to his apartment, his drinking began earlier in the day over time. He was starting to have physical repercussions from drinking heavily and decided to try and moderate or cut back. One event found him going to the liquor store for "hair of the dog" and on the way back he ended up passing out. Robbie woke up in an ambulance on the way to the ER and had no idea who called them. This didn't deter Robbie from drinking, he just knew that if he tried to quit again, he would need to have medical detox. On a trip to Montana visiting family, Robbie ended up getting a DUI right down the street from his parents' house. After his father picked him up from jail, he knew the cat was out of the bag. At Christmas, Robbie decided to stay in Denver and told his mother that he was spending time with his girlfriend but ended up staying home. When his mother found out he wasn't with her, see felt driven to send Robbie an email expressing concerns about his health. He felt a lot of relief when he read it and knew that he was going to be able to get help now since his family was aware of his problem. Robbie went to Betty Ford and stayed there for 21 days. It was more social than Robbie was accustomed to, but he grew very close with the people he was there with. After a few step-down programs, Robbie still goes to Betty Ford frequently and while AA isn't his favorite modality, he enjoys trying new meetings and keeps an open mind to all things recovery. He utilizes meetings, podcasts and gratitude lists in recovery and when he has a craving, he has found box-breathing helps him a lot. What has sobriety made possible for Robbie: reconnecting with and loving himself. Robbie's parting piece of guidance: pick up the 100-pound phone, ask for help and you'll be really surprised by people's response to that. Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys. RE on Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Erin. She is 47 years old from Colorado and took her last drink on May 21st, 2022. Sponsors for this episode: Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:53] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares with us "pain is followed by pleasure and pleasure is followed by pain". Drinking to change the way you feel in order to feel better in the short term, will lead to a greater dip on the other side. Not only does drinking often come with a physical hangover, but the dopamine dip can be even worse. The Comfort Crisis by Michael Easter is a great book on discomfort. The main point of the comfort crisis is to show that society's relentless quest for pleasure is actually doing us a tremendous amount of harm. The discomfort that comes with ditching the booze is like a different type of gym that is making you so much stronger. Studies show that it was not uncommon for our ancestors to run and walk more than 25 miles in a day. Today we call that a marathon. They called it going out for dinner. A good sobriety tool to add to your toolkit is seeking discomfort – both the physical and the mental. Buddha said that life is suffering, and all attempts to avoid the suffering only create more suffering. Logging alcohol free days and leaning into the boredom and discomfort is incredibly healthy for you and is actually level 10 self-care, even though it hurts. [09:57] Kris introduces Erin: Erin lives in a small town in Colorado. She is a psychotherapist. She lives with her partner and two dogs. They enjoy all things outdoors; hiking, skiing, walking, going to the lake and she is fortunate to love her work as well. Growing up in a small town in South Dakota, Erin says drinking was part of the youth culture. Her older siblings drank and made it sound like fun. The first time Erin drank, she blacked out, but doesn't recall it being a bad experience. She drank at parties in high school, but her drinking slowed down when she went to college. Living in Boulder, CO, Erin enjoyed more outdoor activities instead of drinking heavily. Her roommate and she got the opportunity to go on tour with their favorite band a few times and Erin remembers that as being when drinking was fun. She was a music lover and while working in clubs she enjoyed the perk of free drinks and meeting the bands. In her late 20s, Erin had a career change and was with a partner that drank a lot. She says she drank a lot with them and was able to maintain her job and her martial arts training. She was working with women that came from domestic abuse situations so in comparison, she thought she was doing alright. Erin ended up leaving the martial arts community but began drinking with her work community. Everyone else was able to drink Friday night and be done, whereas Erin wouldn't stop until Monday. She started having withdrawal symptoms when the bender was over, but this wasn't enough to make her quit. Erin would try moderation and kept her drinking to a minimum when with her boyfriend, but it was different when she was alone. It wasn't until a bender while pet sitting that her boyfriend saw her in really rough shape. He made her leave with him and the next morning, Erin asked to go to the hospital because she knew it was time to quit for good. Once Erin quit, she focused on telling the truth and surrendering to the fact that she could no longer drink. Erin has leaned into community and is going to retreats. It gives her something to look forward to on her calendar. Erin's favorite resources in recovery – podcasts and other people's stories Erin's parting piece of guidance – there's a wisdom in patience, and simplicity. Do one or two things each day that are good for yourself. Sobriety is a journey and the brain is healing. We are the only ones that can do this RE, but we don't have to do it alone. I love you guys. RE on Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Allie. She is 31 and lives in Central, MA. She took her last drink on March 20th, 2024. There are still a few spots open on our next Alcohol-Free travel trip to Vietnam. This upcoming January 9th-20th, 2025, we're heading to this incredible Southeast Asia paradise for 10 days and 11 nights with 25 travelers who are done nursing hangovers. Sponsors for this episode: Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [03:25] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares that he lost the war with alcohol. It was not for lack of effort… for over ten years, he would get back up and keep fighting, he would implement new strategies to control his drinking, but it didn't matter. He still lost. He eventually raised the white flag and through the process of deconstruction, Paul says humility entered on its own without invitation. Every day he has to remember just how bad he got his ass kicked. Through the addiction process, humility is a gift that we receive. Humility is a modest view of one's own self-worth or importance and addiction is the equalizer that puts us all on the same level. Losing the battle with alcohol is a humbling process which imprints on us a heaping dose of humility, which never leaves. A big part of today's intro is empowering you to recognize this incredible gift. Once the battle with alcohol is over and humility is gained, we ultimately win. [10:38] Paul introduces Allie: Allie is 31 years old, and currently lives in central Massachusetts. She is married and they recently bought a house. For work she is an occupational therapist for students with different learning disabilities. For fun she enjoys the beach, travel, reading and exercise. Allie started experimenting with alcohol in high school – the typical parties on the weekend. Her parents were big advocates for safety around alcohol and knew that Allie and her brother were at the age of experimentation. Allie knew family members that had issues with alcohol but wasn't worried about them developing for herself. After college, Allie moved to Boston and started to work. She says she enjoyed the social scene. Initially she didn't drink during the week but on the weekends the excitement of being with friends found her trying to keep the party going when others were fine to stop. During COVID Allie and her friends would have happy hours over Zoom. Around 2022 was when she first heard the term "sober curious" but said the word "sober" scared her. Allie shares that she had times when she knew she had drank too much and felt some shame and guilt around it. This led her to start listening to podcasts about sobriety and hear stories from others that felt the same way. Allie found listening to other people her age quitting drinking was really motivating and helpful for her to realize she wasn't alone. Because she wasn't an everyday drinker, she didn't think she had a problem. She would attempt moderation by limiting her drinks and avoiding certain alcohol. Allie quit drinking for stretches of time, but usually because of diet or an upcoming event. It wasn't until one night of overindulgence led to worrying her father when she realized that she needed to quit. Since quitting, Allie listens to a lot of podcasts, attends therapy and journals regularly to reflect on where she is. Learning about the science has been very helpful to her and she has fostered a great relationship with herself while improving relationships with others. Self-discovery, self-acceptance and self-awareness have helped Allie realize that she is just someone that cannot drink. Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down; you gotta take the stairs back up. I love you guys. RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Kristi. She is 50 years old and lives in Rome, GA. She took her last drink on December 11th, 2023. We just opened a few more spots for our upcoming retreat this August 14th through 18th in beautiful Bozeman, MT. Sponsors for this episode: Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:19] Thoughts from Paul: We think this is all about alcohol, but it's not. There are different support groups for many various addictions, and the one thing that they have in common is whatever comes before the word "Anonymous" is not the problem. Page 64 in the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book states that the liquor was but a symptom. The booze isn't the problem. There are deeper causes and conditions that are manifesting themselves in a drinking problem, gambling problem, shopping problem, etc. For many of us, alcohol isn't the problem. It is but a symptom of what went down in our infant and toddler years. Childhood trauma (which can be both what happened to us and what didn't happen for us) can leave us with holes that we end up doing anything to fill. Many of those interviewed on this podcast explain that the first drink made them feel whole again. We drink to change the way we feel and to cover up uncomfortable emotions. Alcohol is being used to cover up deeper issues. This may or may not be what you wanted to hear today, but it's important to keep this podcast real. TRIGGER WARNING: The upcoming interview references self-harm. [10:54] Kris introduces Kristi: Kristi is 50 years old and is a hairstylist in Northwest Georgia. She has a 33 year old daughter with special needs, a partner and three dogs. For fun she enjoys reading, cooking and looks forward to getting back to kayaking. Kristi says she had a good childhood. Her parents divorced when she was young, and they both remarried when she was around seven. Growing up, Kristi felt like she was on the fringe of being part of the "in" crowd so would do what everyone else was doing to fit in. Kristi had her first drink when she was around 14 years old. At age 16, she got pregnant and dropped out of school. After she had her daughter, she started experimenting a lot and found herself in and out of destructive relationships. Around the age of 27, Kristi found herself addicted to opiates. During this time her father, who struggled with mental illness, committed suicide. This sent her on a downward spiral. About a year later she found a place that helped her quit the opiates. She was there for 8 months and when she returned, she drank because she knew that pills were her issue, not alcohol. Kristi says she was a binge drinker. Alcohol was a way for her to mask the pain of the loss of her father as well as the struggles she had raising a special needs child. As a hairdresser when COVID happened, she says she went downhill quickly. There was no work and being homebound found her day drinking and over time it started earlier in the day. The day drinking continued after returning to work and she had a few events that led her to seek treatment. It was an up and down experience for her after the first detox, but Kristi never gave up and neither did her family and friends. After six months of sobriety, Kristi says it feels different this time. She has been leaning into Café RE and reaching out to some other friends to expand her connections. She found this and mediation to be most helpful to her. Recently Kristi started going to college with the goal of being a counselor. She wants to use what she has been through to help others. Kristi's favorite resources in recovery: Cafe RE and podcasts. Kristi's parting piece of guidance: just do it. Life is so much clearer. There are so many things on the edge of your fingertips if you just put down the bottle. Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys. RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Santino. He is 36 years old, lives in Taunton, MA, and took his last drink on May 24th, 2022. Sponsors for this episode: Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:55] Thoughts from Paul: A question we all eventually ask ourselves during our lifetime is – who am I? Eckhart Tolle (the author of The Power of Now and A New Earth) says that through the process of finding out who we are not, we also find out who we are. One of our Café RE hosts, Tonya, shared a great list of what sobriety is not which Paul shares and elaborates on: 1) Sobriety is not the same for everyone. 2) Sobriety is not going back to how things were. 3) Sobriety does not rid you of your past. 4) Sobriety is not the end of your life if you enter recovery or treatment. 5) Sobriety is not the end of socializing. 6) Sobriety is not something you can do halfheartedly. 7) Sobriety is not just a temporary thing. Rumi says "don't be held captive. Your life has no border or shoreline". Don't be held captive by a mind created definition of what sobriety is because in reality, it can be whatever you want it to be. It can be infinitely boundless. [10:42] Paul introduces Santino: This is Santino's third appearance on the podcast, and he is celebrating 2 years alcohol free at the time of this recording. Santino grew up in the Midwest but currently lives in eastern MA. He is currently working on writing his memoir and he and his wife are expecting their second child. Curiosity in his early teens led Santino to try alcohol. He joined the military after high school where drinking is generally part of the culture. Santino considers his drinking rather benign until his late twenties. It was then that he began to use alcohol for coping through uncertainty in his life. Once he started finding himself focusing more and more on his next drink, he began gaslighting and manipulating to protect his drinking. Santino acknowledges that he was becoming like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Several months before he quit drinking, Santino had a bad withdrawal experience. At the time he was depressed and cared little about himself. He recognized that this may be what a rock bottom feels like and didn't want to go through this again. He was able to quit for three months in early 2022, but a birthday celebration in March found him falling right into the old habits. A turning point for Santino was after watching coverage of a school shooting while at the bar. Thinking about becoming a better example for the children of the future, he stopped drinking that day. He calls this clocking out of purgatory. An ultimatum from his wife after discovering hidden debt sealed the deal for Santino. Comparing the first year of sobriety to the second year, Santino feels there is pure form of clarity that he has. He no longer feels the need to hide anymore. He is exploring who he is and what he can offer to the universe. Santino says he has been attending individual and marriage therapy which has been helpful to him. He works on fostering his relationships, attends AA meetings, practices positive self-talk, and works on connecting with his emotions and his inner self daily. Santino's favorite recovery quote: "the world record for the longest time without a drink is 24 hours." One thing Santino has learned in sobriety: that he has always had something to offer the world – his true, authentic self. Santino's favorite sober moment: having the emotional capacity to deal with life as he knows it as well as deal with conflicts he would otherwise run away from. Santino's parting piece of guidance: give yourself the grace that alcohol will never give you. Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys. RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Stephanie. She is 48 years old and lives in San Diego, CA. She took her last drink on January 11th, 2020. Sponsors for this episode: Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [2:21] Thoughts from Kris: Kris shares that he and his family have always enjoyed camping. Recently, he was looking forward to a week that the family could get together, probably for the only time this summer due to work and social schedules. Things did not go as planned due to obligations, weather and some mishaps along the way. Kris found his mind making the determination that if their week didn't look exactly like it was planned, then it was no longer good. This is one of Kris's work-in-progress areas in his recovery. He shares that it's somewhat normal to have expectations from the people in our lives and society in general, but what do we do when people, places and things fall short of those expectations? A few things that Kris does is practice gratitude – he is grateful for the time he does get to spend with family and the great weather they had for most of the week. He also practices taking a self-inventory and shares page 86 from AA's Big Book to give us an idea of what that looks like. Let Kris know how you navigate expectations and resentments – [email protected] [09:48] Kris introduces Stephanie: Stephanie lives in San Diego with her husband and twin 16-year-old boys. She works as a legal analyst for a Fortune 10 company and loves sports. In her free time, she enjoys hiking, playing games and traveling. Stephanie witnessed her father become a heavy drinker after the loss of her mother. She was young at the time and as she grew up vowed that she would not drink like he did. At 15, Stephanie first tried alcohol and ended up the victim of an assault during a blackout. Due to this, and her father's alcoholism, Stephanie was very careful with her consumption for many years. After having kids and one of them was diagnosed with autism, she began to use alcohol as a coping mechanism to deal with her high stress job and parenting. Others would participate with her having drinks after work, so it felt like a normal, adult thing to do. When Stephanie's husband became disabled in a work accident, things got tough for them financially. Her drinking increased while she was working to rebuild their lives. As things began to improve for the family, she realized that she was drinking too much but was sure she would be able to quit when she was ready – since she didn't look like her father, she didn't think it was that big of an issue. When she tried to quit alone in 2019, she was able to get four months and thought she could return to normal drinking. After a while she was drinking to blackout again and knew she needed to get help. She attended rehab for 60 days and also discovered the RE podcast. Hearing others share their stories really helped her. Community has become so important to Stephanie, and she has made a lot of friends along the way that she calls her Spiritual Gangsters. Stephanie's plan in sobriety moving forward: continue being present with others, exploring her life's purpose and living life authentically. Stephanie's parting piece of guidance: despite what you have been told, life without alcohol is so much more fun, fulfilling and connected than your life while drinking ever was. We might as well go big RE, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys. RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Chris. He is 56 years old and lives in Beacon, NY and took his last drink on April 18th, 2024. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. Registration for our next Alcohol-Free travel trip to Vietnam opens TODAY! This upcoming January 9th-20th, 2025, we're heading to this incredible Southeast Asia paradise for 10 days and 11 nights with 25 travelers who are done nursing hangovers. Welcome to our new listeners! We are glad to have you with us. You are in the right place. There is a whole new authentic life awaiting you, which isn't far away. Congratulations to Paul and his wife on the birth of their new baby boy! [04:10] Thoughts from Paul: A few weeks ago, Paul asked our Instagram followers what is the best part of being sober or living an alcohol free life. He shares with us some of the responses he received. The four biggest commonalities he saw were: 1) More authenticity 2) Less shame and regret 3) More energy 4) More clarity Think of the sobriety quote "you're giving up one thing for everything". Sober Link [11:16] Paul introduces Chris: Chris says he is 56 years old and grew up in northern New Jersey, close to NYC. Cooking is his passion, and he has worked in the food and beverage industry all of his life, currently in a director role. Chris also enjoys the outdoors and currently lives in the Hudson Valley. Beyond the occasional night of overindulgence, Chris says his drinking was normal. He was around alcohol a lot in the industry he works in. After getting married, he and his wife enjoyed entertaining in addition to traveling to wineries and distilleries and building a collection. Over time Chris began drinking more than just wine with dinner, had booze all over the house and was drinking earlier in the day and more often. After he and his wife got divorced, Chris found himself drinking more heavily and was less discriminate of what he was drinking as long as he was getting his fix, as he calls it. He was breaking commitments and becoming less functional in his day-to-day life. Chris didn't drink heavily around other people but told his family in 2018 that he needed help. He went into treatment and was able to gain 14 months. He was part of a sober community called Ben's Friends geared towards those in the service industry. Chris was able to gain some sobriety time but had a series of stops and starts with several more visits to rehab as well. Currently at 34 days, Chris is working on rebuilding his life. He knows time will heal his relationships with family, and he is attending IOP for accountability. He is spending a lot of time outdoors and is grateful that the weather has been nice. He attends AA meetings, Café RE chats, and participates in meetings with Ben's Friends. Missing meetings is a non-negotiable for Chris and he also makes sure to nurture himself physically and spiritually. Chris' best sober moment: being present with his partner while on vacation. Chris' parting piece of guidance: stay connected. RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down. We gotta take the stairs back up. You can do this.

Today we have Christine. She is 58 and lives in Ontario. She took her last drink on December 29th, 2022. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. Recovery Elevator is going to Vietnam January 9th-20th, 2025. Registration for our newest alcohol-free travel trip opens July 1st. We have room for 25 passengers on this journey. We have AF workshops, a home stay and a service project planned, plus you'll be traveling with others who have already ditched the booze. [02:56] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares with us some articles reminding us of what we already know: alcohol is shit. Society is waking up to the fact that no amount of alcohol is good for you. In 2023, GQ had an article titled The Year We realize Any Alcohol Is Bad For You. The World Health Organization, who once supported the stance that one to two drinks per day is beneficial, is now doing an about face. Their headline was No Level of Alcohol Consumption is Safe For Your Health. The New York times also had an article further showing that the truth is emerging: Even A Little Alcohol Can Harm Your Health. Canadian Centre on Substance Use and Addiction shares Canada's Guidance on Alcohol and Heath. NBC News shares their take on the fact that drinking moderately is not healthier than abstaining If you want to join the discussion, go to the Recovery Elevator Instagram page and let us know what your thoughts are on today's intro. Or write to your local politician and let them know that alcohol is shit. [10:08] Kris introduces Christine: Christine is 58 years old and has two adult children, two cats, and is divorced. Christine is a massage therapist and enjoys participating in theater and reading in her spare time. Christine said that she knew there was alcoholism in her family, and her parents didn't drink. She knew it was something that people needed to be careful with. While at university, she saw her older brother participating in the party scene and believed that drinking was just part of the experience. She started drinking and says that it was like a release valve for her and helped her with her awkwardness. After marrying her husband, Christine says drinking wasn't part of their life for a long time. The occasional bottle of wine turned into more alcohol towards the end of the marriage. Upon splitting up and moving to a new community, Christine found a music scene and easy friends there to frequently spend time drinking with. Christine feels she was leading a double life and not many people knew the extent of her drinking. Her brother noticed and was concerned. Christine started having regret for her drinking and attempted moderation for a while. Eventually she picked up Allan Carr's book at the bookstore and began taking notes. Toward the end of 2019 she was able to quit for a period of time until the pandemic struck. Since she was not working and unable to care for her parents as she had been doing, she used the time to drink and felt entitled to the break. After being able to go out again, she started feeling the shame and despair set in. She began to realize she wasn't going out for the music and friends, but for the drinks. After getting sick for two weeks and being unable to drink, something told Christine to take this opportunity to keep going. Christine found podcasts, YouTube testimonials, and began reading quit lit again feeling called to sobriety. She joined and became active in Café RE. Keeping a list in her phone of her whys and why nots which helped her a lot. Christine's parting piece of guidance: we shouldn't be asking ourselves if it's bad enough to quit, we should be asking if it's good enough to keep. Chrstine's plan in sobriety going forward: seeking in-person connections. Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we'll all go home. I love you guys.

Today we have Sarah. She is 45 and lives in Indiana. She took her last drink on December 31st, 2022. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. Let's talk AF International travel with Recovery Elevator. We've got some incredible trips in the works. We're going to Vietnam for 12 days in January 2025. Then Back to Costa Rica for our 4th trip to the Blue Zone in April 2025, and then, we're going back to Peru in October 2025 where we're going to the Inca Trail and work with Non-profit Peruvian Hearts again. [02:42] Thoughts from Paul: The World Heart Federation published a policy brief in 2022 staying there is "no level of alcohol consumption that is safe for health." There was and still is a collective belief that alcohol is good for you. This is especially prominent in the wine culture. The paradigm is slowly cracking which is a huge step in the right direction. When Paul started Recovery Elevator in 2015, you couldn't find that line anywhere. It was almost customary to see a line that says something like "studies show moderate alcohol consumption can improve heart health and longevity". Today the tides are turning and a narrative that alcohol can wreck your world (aka, the truth) is emerging. People are waking up to the lies that Big Alcohol has sold us. Check out this recent article about a new phenomenon called BORGS explains what these are and then follows it up with the snippet about alcohol being shit. [09:18] Paul introduces Sarah: Sarah is 45 and lives in Indiana. She is married with two kids and works in marketing. When she isn't running the kids to their practices and games, she enjoys exercising, reading and backpacking. Sarah parents divorced when she was 11 and she grew up with her mother who she was very close with. She doesn't recall alcohol being very present in their lives. Sarah didn't drink much in high school but in college and into her 20s, everything she and her friends did involved alcohol. She always knew her drinking looked a little different than everyone else's, but didn't identify it as a problem. When Sarah was 35, her mother was diagnosed with brain cancer. Sarah quit working so that she could care for her mother through the diagnosis. Her drinking increased as she dealt with being a caretaker, having a family in addition to not working. After her mother died four years later, Sarah says she did not know how to deal with life. She would drink into a blackout almost daily and was stuck in the cycle of wanting to quit but not being able to. Sarah began to worry that it might not be possible for her and worried that she would disappoint her mother if she wasn't able to quit. In time, Sarah found sober podcasts and tried medications to help. She says Antabuse worked, but she would stop taking it in order to drink. No one knew she was taking it to try and quit and Sarah feels that by not sharing, she always left the door open to drink again. Sarah knew something had to change and decided to come clean with her husband. Being active in the Café RE community helped Sarah gain the courage to choose a quit date and write a letter to her husband letting him know what was going on. Sarah says she received a lot of support from him. After the physical withdrawals, Sarah felt hopeful. As the months went on, she protected her sobriety by avoiding situations where there was drinking, and she began to gain more confidence. Sarah says that when she has thoughts of drinking, she does chooses to put her energy into her sober resources instead. Sarah's best sober moment: experiencing the Northern Lights with her son Sarah's parting piece of guidance: never quit quitting. [41:14] Outro: Paul invites listeners to answer some questions not with words in their minds, but in how they carry themselves. How would you walk if…….? RE merch Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we'll all go home. I love you guys.

Today we have Adam. He is 46 from Flowermound, TX and took his last drink on December 31st, 2022. Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [03:00] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares many things that are dangerous but concludes that the most dangerous thing on the planet is the Ego. The reason why it is so dangerous is because it is never fully satisfied, it's always hungry, lives in constant state of lack and is always seeking more, more, more. Alcohol is but a symptom of the most dangerous thing on the planet. Addiction gets a bad rap, but it does serve a purpose. It forces you to split from the thinking mind. As the author of The Untethered Soul, Michael Singer says you are the one hearing or witnessing the thoughts, but you are not your thoughts. Some of the humblest people Paul has met have been people in recovery. The addiction is the equalizer and forces us to seek a better way no longer guided by the blind pursuit of the ego. [10:22] Kris introduces Adam: Adam is a registered nurse, married to his wife for 23 years and they have two children. He loves hiking, camping and walking and enjoys tabletop gaming and the creativity and childlike innocence that it has awoken. Alcohol was not very present in Adam's childhood household. When he was 15, he had a bad experience with hamburgers and cheap alcohol that kept him away for a while. Typical teenage experimentation was there, but not much booze in his high school years. Becoming a young adult found Adam at college and going to a lot of parties. The heavier partying led to Adam beginning to have blackouts and hangovers. He ended up going to the Appalachian Mountains for some mission work and to get away from his dissonance around substance use. He says it still followed him there and eventually he had to go back home. Adam says drinking was part of he and his wife's early dating period. After getting married and having kids, Adam was working 45 minutes from home and found himself drinking on the way home from work and the drinking was becoming daily. He knew it didn't feel right but continued to do it. Deciding to start nursing school after the birth of their second child was very stressful and Adam's drinking eventually found him seeking to stop but with short stints of sobriety, he would go back and feel stuck. This continued for Adam for a while and started to affect his relationships. Adam feels he finally had a time where it just clicked for him. He had joined Café RE and then joined the Restore course and he was able to organize some tools and awareness around his drinking. He knew he had work to do but he was willing to work on it finally. He currently has a great support network and close friends that he is doing the work with. Adam feels that a lot of things about him have changed and every day he sees joy. Adam's biggest fear around quitting drinking: the fear of not having fun Adam's plan moving forward: staying connected and immersed Adam's parting piece of guidance for people thinking about quitting drinking: it makes the world colorful again and life will move in the direction it's supposed to move. Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.

Today we have Jennifer. She is 41 from Hamilton, OT Canada and took her last drink on January 18th, 2024. Café RE: Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:09] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares some information from an article he saw on the Instagram page recoveryroadmap.me. It discusses how in Canada, despite bringing in $13 billion in tax revenue, the net social costs in 2020 was $19 billion. And it is even worse in the US. The bright side of all of this is that we are becoming aware of this major deficit, and change is taking place. The demand for alcohol is lowering as people are becoming more aware that alcohol is not good for you. Two years ago, The Huberman Lab did a podcast called What Alcohol Does to Your Body and he debunked the myth that alcohol is good for you. Paul also shares that thanks to an initiative called Sounds Right, musicians who use natural sounds can list "Nature" as a featured artist and royalties from the tracks will go toward environmental causes. [08:33] Paul introduces Jennifer: Jennifer is married and they have a daughter and a standard poodle. She works for the family business and for fun she plays paintball, tennis and volleyball – anything active with friends. Jennifer says that as the "good girl" growing up, she always wanted to be bad and says that drinking fit in with that. During the week she was excelling in school, but on the weekends, she went to raves with friends and started smoking weed. She enjoyed the duality of her life and the same pattern continued at university. While in her first year of college, her father bought back his company with a ten-year plan of Jennifer becoming the CEO. The stress and responsibility of this and her parents divorce a few years later all found her drinking escalating. Some of her friends told Jennifer's mom about her drinking and staged a small intervention to which Jennifer was not receptive. She assured everyone she was ok, but then just began to isolate when she drank. After the plan found her becoming the CEO, her drinking went from nights and weekends to drinking all day just to cope. She recognized that this was a problem but was scared to mention it to anyone. This is when she first joined Café RE, started listening to podcasts and trying to learn more about the disease. Jennifer tried a lot of moderation methods but was never successful until she got pregnant with her daughter at 35. She was able to quit drinking while pregnant and a few months after having the baby. After returning to work, Jennifer says her drinking started right where she left off. She says she was beginning to have disturbing thoughts and finally concluded that she needed help. Not being able to come up with a good way to quit without anyone knowing, she decided to confide in her cousin who she knew would understand. In January of 2024 at a dinner with her cousin, mom and husband, Jennifer was able to burn the ships, and everyone was very supportive. Upon going to treatment shortly after, Jennifer says she took her recovery very seriously and wanted to make it worth her time. Journaling and practicing mindfulness are big parts of Jennifer's recovery, she takes time to be present with her daughter and her life, attends meetings and counseling regularly and says stacking habits are important to her growth. Nurturing the sober version of herself has been great for her. Jennifer can see a future now Jennifer's best sober moment: Walking my daughter to school and being present. Jennnifer's parting piece of guidance: Don't be afraid to ask for help. Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.

Today we have Brian. He is 59 from Eastern Iowa. He took his last drink on May 23rd, 2023. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. Recovery Elevator is going to Vietnam January 9th-20th, 2025. Registration for our newest alcohol-free travel trip opens July 1st and we've got room for 25 passengers. Who's up for seeing the world with a group of travelers who have ditched the booze? [02:24] Thoughts from Kris: Kris' topic today is one of the foundational themes in recovery which is telling our story or burning the ships as we refer to it at Recovery Elevator. Burning the Ships refers to when Hernan Cortez sailed across the ocean and ordered his men to burn their ships when they landed. There was no turning back, no retreat. When we share our story, we can no longer hide from it and are faced to move forward with others having knowledge of our journey. This isn't a black and white situation so it will be different for everyone, and we each have to do what is right for us. Kris shares the different levels of burning the ships and his experiences with them. He feels that the positives outweigh the negatives. When people hear our stories, not just the stats, it changes their perception. Hearing our stories in others', helps us know we are not alone, and we never know the impact that sharing our stories may have on others. Think of the moments that have inspired you. What is your version of that? Let Kris know what you think. How has burning the ships played out for you? Email [email protected] to share your thoughts. [10:48] Kris introduces Brian: Upon the release of this episode, Brian has just celebrated one year of sobriety! He is married, together they have five adult children and seven grandchildren. Brian is active and enjoys many outdoor activities, home projects, travelling and reading. Brian grew up on a farm and recalls it was common for people to have drinks after a long day of work. He says he and his friends would sneak beer out of curiosity. When he was in his teens, he and his friends would drive around the gravel roads with a cooler of beer. After graduating high school, Brian joined the military, which was a tradition in his family. He was enlisted for two years and lived the "work hard, play hard" life that is common in that environment. Shortly after discharge from the Army, Brian got a DUI. He did not feel this was a red flag to stop drinking, just needed to pay the fine and move on. After graduating college, he got his first job in management and married his first wife. They bought land and started a family together. Brian says drinking was mostly social on the weekends and at the local tavern after work. Brian and his wife got a divorce after 15 years married. Soon after, Brian began suffering from extreme anxiety and panic attacks. He tried medication and meditation to deal with it, but it was still intense. A few years later, Brian started dating his current wife. They were very social and frequently drank, but she was not a heavy drinker. Brian began to find himself waking up with anxiety and would often change his work hours to accommodate his drinking or recovery from the night before. In December of 2020 Brian discovered his sister had recently become sober. He feels this really led him to examine his drinking. Upon arriving home from that visit, he started reading a lot and listening to podcasts. He began attending more group chats with Café RE and connecting with other folks in recovery. Brian says his sister taught him a lot of mindfulness exercises which he has found very helpful. Brian's parting piece of guidance for those considering sobriety: just dig in and try it. Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator I love you guys. Go big because eventually we'll all go home.

Today we have Tyler. He is 37 and lives in Phoenix, AZ. He took his last drink on November 28th, 2023. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. Recovery Elevator welcomes Danielle Marr to the team! She now writes the bi-monthly newsletter for RE which always has journalling prompts at the end. She taught our DTB writing course this last fall and does Instagram posts a couple days a week. She was also interviewed on episode 464. To subscribe to the Recovery Elevator newsletter, click here and wait for the box to pop up. [03:35] Thoughts from Paul Paul shares with us the history of NA beers and how they were created to pacify the Mothers Against Drunk Drivers campaign back in the 90's. The companies had zero intention of scaling this segment of their business and it has been said that the purposefully made the beer tasteless and bland. Those days are gone. Non-alcoholic beer sales have been growing every year by 30-40% since 2019. Many of the major beer brands are investing time and money into creating their own NA products and there are more breweries popping up that are 100% dedicated to making an AF craft beer. There is no need to explore the NA beer world in the early days of your alcohol-free life because it can be triggering. There is trace amount of alcohol in many of the NA beers (usually less than 0.5%) and you would have to drink 25-30 of them to reach the legal BAC. Check out this Instagram post where someone drinks several NA beers and stills blows zeros into a breathalyzer. What the AF beer world exploding shows is that people are waking up to the fact that alcohol is not good for you and big alcohol sales are reflecting that. The stigma around alcohol addiction is also crumbling. We as consumers decide every move a business makes – start asking for more AF options at restaurants and grocery stores. Start asking and you will receive. Go Brewing. Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off. [09:58] Paul introduces Tyler: Tyler is 37 years old and lives in Phoenix, AZ and has a six-month-old daughter. He does maintenance for a homeowners association. Tyler is also a musician and enjoys performing, writing, and recording music. Tyler had his first drink when he was in high school as simply a fun thing to do with friends. A health scare which ended up with tumor removal drove Tyler to feel he needed to live life to the fullest. He says his drinking increased as it was associated with having fun, and he discovered his passion for being a musician. That found him romanticizing alcohol, drinking more after gigs, and acquiring DUIs. Since a lot of people he knew had DUIs, it was considered normal and wasn't taking seriously. When he lost a close family member to cancer, Tyler says his drinking evolved from good and bad to ugly. He and his girlfriend went out often, and his drinking became more frequent both while out and while at home. Tyler had a lot of anger that would come out while drinking. These issues eventually found Tyler and his girlfriend splitting up. Tyler started going to therapy and discovered that the loss of his aunt affected him more than he realized. He was able to process some of his anger and cut back on his drinking. He and his girlfriend got back together and six months ago their daughter was born. Tyler began to realize that his drinking was interfering with this new life and told his girlfriend he was ready to quit. At this time, he also reached out to a supportive cousin that has over 20 years in recovery. Tyler says AA didn't resonate with him, but books, podcasts and other peoples' stories have been very helpful. He believes in recovering out loud. Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator I love you guys. Go big because eventually we'll all go home.

Today we have Anna. She is 49 from North Georgia and took her last drink on December 22nd, 2017. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:09] Thoughts from Paul: A few weeks ago, Paul made a post on the Recovery Elevator Instagram pages asking people what advice they would give to somebody who was about to quit drinking. Thank you to everyone that commented on the video, there were well over 100 comments. In this episode, he shares some of the comments and be sure to follow Recovery Elevator on Instagram if you don't already. The most common advice was don't do this alone, reach out for help, and join a community. We have partnered with Sober Link. You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code. [11:16] Kris introduces Anna: Anna lives in North Georgia and is a custodian at a middle school. For fun she enjoys hiking, camping and all things outdoors. Anna first started drinking when she was 18 in college. Prior to that she was focused on being a runner and it was when an injury made her stop that she traded her running addiction for alcohol. She says that she was a blackout drinker from the beginning. When asked by her now ex-husband why she drank Anna said it was because she wanted to. She believed it was a privilege to drink as long as she was keeping up with her responsibilities. At the time she didn't believe that it wasn't normal to be throwing up in the bathroom every day. She considered drinks as a reward for getting things done. Anna got a DUI and was required to attend a recovery center. That put her back in contact with other people and she realized that she missed being social and doing things with other people. Her last day of drinking was when she went Christmas shopping and told herself that she wasn't going to drink, but she did. The next morning, her kids told her they weren't able to wake her up the night before. That's when Anna realized she had lost the privilege and the desire to drink was gone. About three weeks after that, she started attending AA and a group called FAVOR which had a kickball team. She enjoyed being able to do things with other people who didn't drink. One of the reasons she was hesitant to quit drinking before was because she felt alcohol was involved in everything social. Anna says that the 12 steps are a lifestyle for her. She enjoys the structure and routine of AA. After a few months, she got a sponsor and began to work the steps. Anna says that she enjoys being open minded about recovery and participating in things that are not AA. The first 90 days in recovery, Anna says she was very go with the flow. She feels she learned all she could from alcohol and was ready to learn the joy of recovery and getting to meet new people and learn new things again. In sobriety, Anna enjoys traveling and meeting new people. She feels that life is meant to be experienced and she knows she has to take chances and meet new people. Anna feels she always has a group everywhere she goes. Sobriety gave Anna her confidence back and a sense of purpose. She feels that life challenges haven't been nearly as hard since she is sober. Anna's favorite resource in recovery: "Café RE or AA, whatever I can get my hands on first if it's just picking up and scrolling through Facebook or YouTube with listening to speakers." Anna's parting piece of guidance: keep things simple, don't compare yourself to other people, remember you cannot get drunk if you don't pick up the first drink. RE merch Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator We're the only ones that can do this RE, but we don't have to do it alone. I love you guys.

Today we have Susie. She is 52 and lives in Lubbock, TX and took her last drink on February 10th, 2024. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:18] Thoughts from Paul: Paul's goal with the introductions each week is to find a topic that we can collectively resonate with. His goal is for as many of us as possible to say "yep" or to nod our heads while listening. There are many different types of listeners to the podcast. Some had already ditched the booze, some long ago and some more recently. Another group is still in the process of quitting drinking. We also have another group of listeners who are here to support a loved one who is struggling with alcohol. We are so glad you are here with us. Paul lists the many reasons why people listen and what they are looking for by doing so. Ultimately, we are all here to grow. [09:58] Paul introduces Susie: Susie is 52 and lives in Lubbock, TX with her husband of two years. She has been a hairstylist for many years and considers it her passion. Susie enjoys reading, exercise, enjoying the outdoors and attending sporting events. Susie first experimented with alcohol when she was in high school and didn't care for it. There was very little drinking for Susie throughout college and her 20's. In Susie's 30's, her husband and she began to drink socially on the weekends but his drinking increasingly got worse and eventually the divorced due to his anger issues and alcohol abuse. For a long time, Susie didn't use alcohol as a coping mechanism but had other issues that she feels were attempts to avoid her feelings such as an eating disorder and excessive exercise. Susie reflects that she didn't really have an off switch when she drank for events, but typically wouldn't drink for a while afterwards. Shortly after marrying her current husband, some issues started to arise in their relationship and Susie found herself beginning to use alcohol to cope. She says it wasn't much of an issue until she began to try and hide how much she was drinking. It started to create issues in her marriage and Susie would find her husband leaving her a few times, which created feelings of abandonment and rejection. After an event that led to Susie being hospitalized, she attended an IOP but left and continued drinking. Her husband asked her to go to inpatient rehab, so she did, but she continued to drink afterwards and ended up taking another trip to rehab a few months later. Her husband eventually ended up leaving, which was very eye-opening for Susie. She started attending a women's AA group which she enjoyed and learned a lot from. Going forward Susie plans to continue attending AA meetings when she can, and she just joined Café RE where she plans to be an active participant. She and her husband are separated now but are attending counseling and Susie feels hopeful about their future. Susie surrounds herself with positive people at work and has friends from rehab that she checks in with frequently. Things Susie has learned about herself on this journey: self-acceptance; loving yourself. No matter where you are, you're okay just the way you are. Susie's best sober moment: spending time with her husband going to sporting events sober. Susie's parting piece of guidance: don't ever give up on yourself, don't isolate yourself, always surround yourself with people. Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down; you gotta take the stairs back up. You can do this. I love you guys.

Today we have Emily. She is 31 and lives in Raleigh, NC. She has been sober since March 17th, 2019. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:26] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares with us a list of his favorite AF (Alcohol Free) legends. Included in the list is a man named Barry he met on the Gold Coast of Australia who taught him it's the little things in life that create the most beautiful textures in life. Another AF legend is Bill Wilson who together with Dr. Bob would become founders of Alcoholics Anonymous. Paul also includes the 480 rock stars wo have shared their story on this podcast. Our interviewees have realized that for them to be successful, they have to help others. Thank you to all of the interviewees on the podcast. Included in the list is Paul's dog Ben. He taught him unconditional love. And above all else, Paul feels the number one AF legend is the universe. It has provided everything he has needed for wholeness, happiness, and wellbeing. Even when being handed a roundhouse kick to the kidney, the universe only does so with the goal of promoting growth or to illuminate a better path. [10:46] Kris introduces Emily: Emily is 31 years old, and lives in Raleigh, NC. She has a Husky named Yogi and she works in water treatment. For fun she enjoys attending music festivals and concerts. Emily says she is an adopted only child and grew up with wonderful parents that were always supportive. It was a religious household and while Emily feels she learned some great values through that, as she got older, she wanted to rebel a bit. Drinking with the older crowd was how she chose to do that and feels that she always drank to get drunk and didn't see the point of drinking otherwise. After high school Emily would have rather gone to the military instead of going to college, which was what was expected of her. She decided to go to school and join the reserves instead. Shortly after turning 18, she got a DUI which ruined the military path for her. School became a big party for Emily, and she ended up failing out of school. Emily was watching her peers graduate, start families and begin careers and she wasn't sure what she was doing. She feels that this led to her drinking more to cope with the lost feelings she had. She would end up having two more DUI's before she was 23. While dealing with the consequences of these DUI's, Emily went to rehab in Texas for 30 days. It was the first time she realized that she might have a problem but still wasn't certain. After leaving inpatient treatment she started an outpatient program and was living in a sober house. She ended up transitioning to California and was excited to have a new start. Gradually drinking started back up for Emily and she ended up moving back to North Carolina because of how expensive it was where she was living. After serving her probation from the DUIs, Emily found herself drinking again, but says it wasn't as much as before. She was beginning to start working on her health with nutrition and exercise. Emily says that alcohol wasn't fitting into her goals, so it slowly tapered off. She had one last hangover after St Patrick's Day and decided she no longer wanted to feel that way anymore. While working on sobriety, Emily learned that a friend from rehab had passed, and she used it as fuel to keep going. She was looking for podcasts and found Recovery Elevator. Listening to people's stories really helped her and she started participating in communities learning that she was not alone. Emily's favorite resource in recovery: people Emily's parting piece of guidance: Be proud of the days that you don't give up and celebrate even the small wins. Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator We're the only ones that can do this RE, but we don't have to do it alone. I love you guys.

Today we have Destiny. She is 29 and lives in South Houston, TX. She took her last drink on December 30th, 2023. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. Café RE just submitted its application to become a 501c3 non-profit organization. The team has been working on the application for about 8 months and we have been told, in another 4-6 months, Café RE will become a nonprofit. We are going to be able to take our yearly service project to the next level, in which we can receive donations, then use those funds to make this planet a better place for all. Click the link below if you would like to check out Café RE. [03:12] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares with us that nothing is static, and everything is constantly changing. The roles we play in life are no exception. You are always changing. There was a time when your identity was an infant, then a child. Paul shares the many identities that he has had over the years and that he no longer identifies as a drinker. Identities of some of the largest beer brands in the history of the world are changing seemingly overnight and they are changing their identities for one reason only. That is because you are changing your identity. White Claw now has an AF option, only because enough customers have changed their identities and are beginning to ask for it and that's the only reason why White Claw has this option. As your identity changes in regard to alcohol, start asking for what your identity craves. Next time you are at a restaurant, ask if they have an AF drink menu or what their options are. It is 100% okay to change your identity to a non-drinker in a seemingly drunk world. Athletic Greens [09:19] Paul introduces Destiny: Destiny is 29 years old; she is married, and they have a three-year-old son and a German Shorthaired Pointer. For work, Destiny is a nurse where she sees a lot of the damage that alcohol can cause. Destiny began drinking in her teens and it progressed from there. She worked in the restaurant industry for almost 10 years while attending nursing school. After graduating and starting to work in the ICU, she spent a lot of her time off drinking. She had her son in May of 2020 and suffered with some postpartum issues. Added to the already stressful ICU, the pandemic was happening, and she got married. Destiny says there was always an excuse to drink, and she often found herself the drunkest person in the room and frequently had blackouts. Destiny would be able to quit for small stretches of time and would attempt forms of moderation. Her husband would mention that she was drinking too much, and she would deflect and shift some blame on the situations around her that she felt called for drinking. A rock-bottom moment for Destiny was when she realized that her marriage was beginning to suffer along with all of her goals in life. She says she would have plans that she wanted to but felt like there was a wall that she kept running into. She pictures the wall as alcohol and everything else was on the other side. Destiny has not gone to AA but says she enjoys reading books, listening to podcasts, and surrounding herself with supportive people who themselves do not drink. She has been spending a lot of time at the gym, she and her husband have started counseling, and she has be going to therapy. When the cravings hit, she plays the tape forward and recalls how things will end if she does decide to drink. Destiny's best sober moment: playing fetch with her dog and her young son. Destiny's parting piece of guidance: if you're thinking about it, you should probably do it. Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator I love you guys. Let's go big because eventually we'll all go home.

Today we have Cyndi. She is 54 and lives in Denver, Colorado. She took her last drink on December 10th, 2023. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:08] Thoughts from Kris: Kris shares how recovery has ignited his curiosity. While drinking, he didn't step out of his comfort zone very much and feels he was perfection driven to offset the dumpster fire that was happening with his drinking. He didn't feel safe not being good at things, so he never tried. Since in recovery, Kris has taken up a plethora of hobbies, most recently welding. His garage now houses evidence of his hobbies and creating new things rather than the massive amount of empties from when he isolated in there with alcohol. Kris now embraces his curiosity and lets himself fail as he learns new things. When asked what they like to do for fun, many interviewees respond that they are still trying to figure that out and that's normal as we can become immersed in the drinking life and it's hard to find time for anything else. What do you like to do for fun? What have you gotten back in sobriety? Or what would you like to be able to do? What's holding you back? If you're still in it, is there something that you could use as fuel or motivation? [8:56] Kris introduces Cyndi: Cyndi is 54 years old and lives in Denver with her husband, cat, and dog. She has worked in the dental industry for the last 35 years and enjoys playing outside with her dog, hiking, camping, and cooking. Cyndi's first real exposure to alcohol was when she was 15. She was at a party where she worked and drank a lot of beer trying to keep up with everyone. Even though she was sick a few days afterwards, she was not deterred and found drinking fun. Cyndi says she was "successful" at drinking for many years, but around 2019 she attended IOP but says it didn't stop her. Her drinking soon created issues in the marriage, finding them separating from each other for periods of time and trying to use different tools to help Cyndi quit. After a particularly rough time, she started going to AA. She would be able to get a few months at a time and finally was able to achieve two years. Cyndi's toxic job started taking over her life and she gradually stopped working on her sobriety which found her relapsing and starting the on again off again cycle again. The relapse happens long before the first drink, Cyndi feels. Work started replacing meetings. Her husband was noticing that she was more tired and unhappy, and she was starting to spend more time isolating herself from him because she was drinking again. Eventually her drinking would lead to Cyndi losing her job and found her husband working on divorce papers. They ended up having a long talk about their situations and Cyndi started working hard on recovery again. Cyndi ended up finding a much better job and she is now attending five meetings a week and has a new sponsor. This new job is much closer to where she lives and the meetings she likes to attend are on the same route as work. Cyndi has started therapy which she had never done before. Communication with her husband is better than it has ever been. Her faith is also stronger than it has ever been. Cyndi's plan in sobriety moving forward: to be proactive, have a check list of things that help her stay sober. Cyndi's parting piece of guidance: don't quit quitting. Acknowledge your problem and get help one way or the other and just keep going. [51:44] Outro: Kris shares a song that he came across recently: Hi Ren Whether we're fighting with ourselves, or others, when we're in that dark place we can't really win. BUT we can learn. We can find a way to be healthy and bring love and light into the world. Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator We're the only ones that can do this, but we don't have to do it alone I love you guys.

Today we have Jim. He is 44 and lives in Silicon Valley, CA. He took his last drink on February 20th, 2024. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:27] Thoughts from Paul: Paul is coming up on ten years without a drink. He has attended many social situations without consuming any alcohol. When he told people he wasn't drinking, the question he got was "Wait, you're not drinking?" said as more of a statement of astonishment than anything. As in the impossible was happening right before their eyes and they were surprised someone could still have a good time without drinking. A major factor of why ditching the booze can be so hard is that the thinking mind will tell you it can't be done. The biggest reason for this is that an alcohol-free life lies in the unknown. The mind and the ego crave the known. But it can be done. If you are on day one, a series of day ones, Paul reminds us that yes, it can be done. But for how long? A morning, an afternoon? A week? A month? A year? We are only ditching the booze one day at a time. Addiction forces us to confront the thinking mind. Addiction forces us to tease out who is who in the thinking mind. It forces us to locate and meet ourselves. [08:55] Paul introduces Jim: Jim lives in Silicon Valley and is a software engineering manager for a large tech firm. He is 44 and happily married for 21 years with three young kids. He enjoys skiing, learning woodworking, and completing task lists. Alcohol was a non-issue for much of Jim's life. He tried it a few times when he was in his early teens, but he didn't enjoy it much. He didn't drink in high school or college and then drank very sporadically throughout his 20's. In his 30's, the company he worked for would have gatherings at the end of the week where alcohol was provided. Jim says this was where he started enjoying drinking. Over time it progressed and there were some negative consequences for Jim at work and he started suffering with anxiety and depression. At the time, Jim felt like he was living multiple lives. COVID era was a difficult time for Jim. He was working from home and had little to do so he found himself drinking more. When work became busy again, the distractions at home drove Jim to rent an office where he was more isolated and drinking earlier and earlier in the day. On the way to a bible meeting one day after having a few drinks, Jim realized this wasn't a great idea and decided to check out an AA meeting instead. He says that he went to several different types of meetings over the course of the year before anything really stuck for him. Jim feared telling his wife about his problem, but knew he had to do it. Her initial response was not believing that Jim really had an issue with alcohol but started to feel betrayed when she realized how much he was hiding from her. Jim was determined to tackle the addiction and created his own path. This includes listening to podcasts and journalling every day. He has had a series of stops and starts in his recovery but feels that was part of the learning process and utilizes past journal entries to remind him of why quitting is the best thing for him. After a recent relapse he started to feel very hopeless and knew he couldn't continue on this path. Jim has leaned into his faith and scripture in addition to his own past journal entries to help him gain the resolve to try sobriety again. He is a member of Café RE and has an accountability partner which has helped him a lot. Jim's best sober moment: when his wife told him how proud she is of how far he is come. Jim's parting piece of guidance: if you get stuck, it's ok, but you just can't stay there. Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator We all go home so we might as well go big. I love you guys.

Today we have Tonya. She is 50 and lives in St Paul, MN. She took his last drink on August 21st, 2021. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. Registration opens today for our annual retreat in the beautiful Rocky Mountains located outside of Bozeman, MT. This retreat is from Wednesday August 14th through Sunday August 18th, and it is going to be a blast! Click here for the full itinerary and to get pricing info. [02:30] Thoughts from Paul: Is quitting drinking hard? It can be, yes but if you have a drinking problem, quitting drinking is way easier than riding alcohol off into the sunset of self-destruction. Here are some reasons why it can be a challenge: 1) Your body has to detoxify itself form the chemical alcohol. 2) You are going to have to learn some new routines and make new habits. 3) You need to start building friendships where alcohol isn't the foundation. 4) Accept that boredom is a normal and healthy life experience. Here are some glorious truths about quitting drinking: 1) After 14-21 days you are going to get out of the brain fog and want more of the new "good-feeling" thing. 2) No more checking message to see what you said the night before, you'll remember the book you read, less sick days at work, and more money in your bank account. 3) Your dopamine system rebalances. 4) You are living life at face value and when we do that, we can start to build the life that no longer requires alcohol. [10:27] Kris introduces Tonya: Tonya has been married for 21 years and they have two children who both attend the University of Minnesota. She recently left the corporate world to be an in-home professional organizer. She enjoys her work as well as cooking, tending her plants and in recovery she is always up for trying new things. Tonya was born into a deeply religious family. They attended church daily along with going to school there. She says they were forced to pray for forgiveness everyday which left her feeling like a bad person. Tonya didn't drink until college because she didn't want to be like her father who was an alcoholic. There was typical college-age partying, but Tonya says she always went a little further than everyone else. Some of her behavior led to losing friends and being seen as a liability on their travels. As she got older and wanted to get married and have kids, she was able to slow the drinking down a bit, but still drank heavily while out of town for work. Having postpartum depression after her daughter was born, Tonya found she was using alcohol to cope with life. Over time her family started becoming concerned about her drinking, so she went to rehab for the first time. She didn't end up being able to quit and struggled with the AA program. She would attend rehab five more times and while she learned a lot about the psychology and science behind alcohol and addiction, she didn't actually quit. Shortly after her 2nd DWI, Tonya lost her job for reasons that didn't include alcohol although she admits she was physically addicted and drinking on the job. Unable to find another job she ended up sinking into her drinking and says she spent a year doing nothing else. After nearly ending her life, she realized that she didn't want to do that to her daughter. She was at the end of her rope and ready to give recovery and AA another try. Tonya started going to different AA meetings and got a sponsor. She is grateful that she found community because she knows she couldn't have done it on her own. Tonya's favorite resource in recovery: Everything AA app, the AA and RE communities. Tonya's parting piece of guidance: Time. Things will get better in time. One day at a time. Get involved in community. Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator We all go home so we might as well go big. I love you guys.

Today we have Shari. She is 60 and lives in Santa Barbara, CA. She took his last drink on December 31st, 2022. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. Check out our RE merch. We have hats, sweatshirts, tank tops, t-shirts and more. [02:56] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares with us how the idea of Sober Travel first came to him. After a trip of a lifetime that went sideways for him, he knew the only way that he could do alcohol-free travel in the future was with alcohol-free travelers. On the most recent sober trip to Costa Rica, Paul and other members of the cohort traveled to see a Ceiba tree that is at least 350-400 years old. He shares with us the history of the Ceiba tree and what they mean to the people that live around them. They also got to witness live sea turtles hatching and were able to release them into the surf. Quitting drinking is like the release of the sea turtle. Your new life awaits, and anything is possible. [09:46] Paul introduces Shari: Shari is 60 years old and lives in Santa Barbara, CA. She has been married for 34 years and has furry children rather than human children. She works in consumer-packaged goods and operations and for fun enjoys cycling, hiking, and walking. Shari took her first drink when she was 13 and it resulted in a blackout and being extremely sick. She went through her teen years drinking whenever she had the opportunity, which was always problematic. Shari had multiple DUI's by the age of 24 and with her second one was forced to go to AA and take a yearlong course in alcohol education. It was then that she realized she was an alcoholic. She didn't want to go to AA but she did find some nice people there. After a few stops and starts she was able to get and stay sober for 8 years and used hosting meetings as accountability to stay sober. Over time she started to slow down her attendance at meetings and started drinking again during a particularly stressful time in her life. Shari was putting parameters around her drinking after she started again and was able to maintain it to a degree. She would have varying stages of abstinence, and this continued for the next 20 years. Shari says she didn't work very hard at AA during this time, and limited the connections she was making with other people. When she moved back to Santa Barbara 10 years ago, her parents health was deteriorating. Watching her father drink problematically reminded her that she didn't want to go down that path. Shari started looking for other modalities to help her quit drinking. She started reading quit lit and joined The Tempest sobriety course with Holly Whitaker. She started listening to RE where the idea that we can't do this alone really resonated with her. Shari loves that there are so many more options in the recovery space now. She recognizes that everything she does these days is for her recovery. Therapy, exercise, eating right, connecting with people and reading – they all feed her soul and keep her grounded. Finding community and attending more meetings with fellow travelers on the journey was initially uncomfortable for Shari. But she knew she needed to get out of the comfort zone and join the conversations. Shari's best sober moment: the breathwork she participated in at Bozeman last year. Shari's parting piece of guidance: never quit quitting and you shouldn't do it alone. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.

Today we have Nick. He is 36 years old from Grand Rapids, MI. He took his last drink on January 19th, 2021. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:41] Thoughts from Paul: Paul likes Instagram because it's a platform for artists, for teachers, for musicians, for dancers, and more to showcase their talents. Paul shares with us audio from a video he found while on Instagram. Here's the scene: It's a busy city street at nightfall, when a gentlemen comes to a skidding halt on his electric motorbike wearing a microwave as a helmet. When his motorbike comes to a stop, he pushes the open microwave door button, and begins to speak. Check out the video here. If you are serious about change, there will be shitty times, but trust the process because in the long run you're going to be a better person. The biggest gift Paul gets while doing Recovery Elevator podcast is witnessing the change made daily. This change, added up over many days, months and even years, results in quite the transformation. [08:40] Kris introduces Nick: Nick is a real estate agent in Grand Rapids, MI. He enjoys outdoor activities in his free time. He has a boyfriend and a dog that he takes everywhere with him. Nick says he started drinking in high school when he and his friends would pillage the parents' liquor cabinets. He enjoyed alcohol because it freed his inhibitions. As someone who was coming to terms with being gay in a conservative city and kept it a secret for a while. The internal struggle drove Nick to enjoy checking out and alcohol was the way he chose to do that. In his late teens, Nick started working in the food and beverage industry. He felt very welcome at the gay bars he worked in but didn't have good role models. He knew in his early twenties that his drinking needed to eventually be addressed but wasn't ready at that time. Nick says he was very functional but drank daily. He feels he was just surviving at that point in time. Nick started thinking about quitting when he was in his early thirties. He says he was stuck there for a while trying to determine if he really had a problem. He started utilizing his ADHD medication to help him be able to drink more. The planning and rituals became exhausting. Drinking progressed beyond "only after the responsibilities are done" to finding reasons to start earlier. Nick's first stint at sobriety was in 2018 when he joined a local IOP and AA and was able to remain sober for about four months while learning a lot about addiction. His partner at the time drank heavily and eventually Nick gave up his sobriety. His rock bottom came when he was hiking with his dog hungover and realized how miserable he was and questioned if this was how he wanted to live his life. The next day he went back to AA. After working the steps with a sponsor, Nick felt empowered. He says he went on a quest for sobriety and tried out other modalities. When a sober travel trip to Costa Rica with RE coincided with his one-year milestone, he decided to go and feels he gained a lot from that trip. Within the past year Nick has changed careers and feels the best he has ever felt. Going forward, he plans to keep growing in his career and nurturing his sobriety. Nick's favorite resource in recovery: Recovery Elevator podcast Nick's parting piece of guidance: the harder you fight addiction, the more entangled you are so just let go. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.

Today we have Lee. He is 43 and lives in the United Kingdom. He took his last drink on August 17th, 2020. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. If you have found the Recovery Elevator podcast helpful to you, please take a moment to leave a review in either iTunes or Spotify. This helps you shred the shame and helps our show reach more listeners. [03:41] Thoughts from Paul: There are a million reasons why people drink. One reason is relief. Now thank you alcohol for providing myself relief when I needed it most. Then there came a time, and it wasn't overnight when the source of relief became less effective. Alcohol then provided no relief at all. Then it became a source of discomfort itself. Now the most excruciating part of a drinking problem is when we reach for alcohol to seek harmony, but it only brings pain. Now the conscious mind knows the outcome, it knows it won't work. But in the unconscious, it is still inscribed like a commandment on a clay tablet that alcohol will deliver the goods. So, listeners, the seed I want to plant with you today, that even though we live in a world full of messaging and imagery saying that alcohol will enhance your life, in reality, the truth is an alcohol-free life is the easier, softer way. Sober Link – receive $50 off of a device. [08:33] Paul introduces Lee: Lee is from Birmingham, UK where he lives with his wife and two kids. He works for a paint manufacturer and for fun he enjoys exercise. Lee's first taste of alcohol was when he was 8 and he thought it was terrible. Around age 14 he attended a party where there was alcohol, and he enjoyed the buzz he got from drinking until the next morning when he felt hungover. It was a few years later before he started drinking regularly. Lee utilized alcohol to combat insecurities and be more social. People told Lee that after he was married and had kids that he would settle down, but Lee says his drinking got worse. He says he selfishly thought about how he could go home and drink in the house alone while his wife may be staying overnight after the birth of their second child. Even after wrecking his car while drunk, Lee did not see that he had a problem. Instead of going to the hospital, he left for the shop to get more alcohol. The drinking started putting a strain on his relationship with his wife. The cycle of arguments and Lee leaving the home for a few days only to return asking for forgiveness went on for about six months. After a particularly bad event where Lee couldn't remember the events of the days he was gone from home, he had an anxiety attack. Lee finally admitted to himself that he had a problem and reached out to AA. Lee started attending AA meetings via Zoom and was still drinking and just listening. He started to see what everyone had, and they seemed happy. At that point he decided to give quitting a try. Lee says the first few months were horrific. He couldn't concentrate and was very irritable. He kept going to meetings and listening to everyone tell him it was going to get better but struggled to see it. The next several months found him sleeping better and feeling 95-96% less anxiety. After 18 months to 2 years, he has been able to forgive himself for things I did when he was drinking. He feels he is no longer to try being sober, instead he is living a sober life. Lee's best sober moment: getting his family back and being more present with them. Lee's parting piece of guidance: take it one day at a time. If you can't do that, do a half day, do an hour, you'll get there eventually. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.

Today we have Erin. She is 45 and lives outside of Boston. She took her last drink on December 26th, 2021. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [01:52] Thoughts from Kris: The transition out of winter is one of Kris' favorites. He sees it as an awakening. He took the cue from Mother Nature and paused this season. No big decisions or changes. Just time to reflect on things. Now that nature is starting to wake back up, he feels it's time for him to do the same. Kris reflects on his first spring in recovery and how the nice weather worried him. He started connecting with multiple recovery groups, discovering his triggers, digging into his whys and was able to feel connected to something bigger than himself. Being a part of a recovery community is cool that way... we see the reward in our own growth, but we're contributing to the growth of the whole as well. Wherever you are this spring, that's right where you're supposed to be. Where you go from here is up to you. What tools do you have that you're using? What tools aren't you using? Is this a season to pick something up, or one to let some things go? Only you can answer these questions for yourself. [09:08] Kris introduces Erin: Erin is 45 and lives about 13 miles outside of Boston. She works as a senior paralegal for a large corporation and works for Rover on the side where she takes care of other people's animals. Erin says her exposure to alcohol was limited to family drinking on holidays or special occasions, but she never tried drinking until she went away to college. What started as curiosity, ended up as binge drinking and partying multiple days of the week when she joined a sorority. After getting married, Erin says the drinking was more casual on the weekends or when out and about. After a tough breakup in her early thirties, Erin found herself living alone, working two jobs, and going back to finish college. During her second marriage, Erin says she and her husband drank a lot socially. Her husband was the life of the party when they were out, but home there was a very different scene that found Erin drinking in isolation to deal with it. She didn't feel she had a way out as she was financially dependent on her husband at the time. Eventually Erin was able to leave the relationship and started over single in a new town. She surrounded herself with people that drank like her, but deep down she knew she didn't drink like everyone else. Alcohol became her best friend and her drinking got worse during the pandemic as she was isolated and now didn't have the safety of working in the office. Returning to the office in early 2021 was helpful to her mental health, but she still knew she was drinking too much on the evenings and weekends. A cousin was sharing how great they felt at 60 days of sobriety which made her become sober curious. Planning to do Dry January with a friend, Erin found herself starting early after getting sick with COVID. In the early days, Erin continued to go to the bar where her friends were, but she recognized that wasn't good for her. Instead, she started walking more, listening to podcasts, and going to therapy. She was beginning to gain confidence and faith in herself. Erin's favorite resource in recovery: RE podcast, Wayne Dyer Erin's plan moving forward: continue therapy and connecting with others. Kris wants to hear from you, listeners! What are you looking forward to this spring? Do you feel something different this year compared to years past? Email [email protected] and let him know what this spring has in store for your or what you hope to see from it. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator We might as well go big RE, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.

Today we have Carl. He is 52 years old and lives in California. He took his last drink on August 22nd, 2014. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [03:08] Thoughts from Paul: Arriving at a perfect balance with progress and perfection is ungodly hard, and we all struggle with it. No one is perfect and if you're telling yourself, you should be doing more of ABC and less of XYZ, welcome to the party, welcome to the human condition. There is progress though, you are self-aware which is more than 1/2 the battle. We have to have dualities, for example, tall to know short, you need silence to know sound. You have to have imperfection to know perfection. They are both equally important and you can't have one without the other. So, with progress not perfection, most of us are using someone else's version of perfection to define ourselves. While your soul is remarkably perfect, this is no perfection in this perfectly imperfect world. Go do you, and remember we are all just walking each other home. [09:52] Paul introduces Carl: Carl is 52 years old, and he is a graphic artist. Carl admits he didn't have a lot of fun before recovery but now enjoys writing, painting, drawing, and podcasting. He is the creator of Sober Pod Recovery Podcast. Carl had been in treatment as early as 15 years old and says that even while doing programs, he was essentially a dry drunk. He had other addictions and was able to get sober for five years before a relapse. Carl married his childhood sweetheart who had a child from a previous relationship. Together they had three more children. He says he drank alcoholically and while he was functional, he pushed the limits and was mixing copious amounts of alcohol with other drugs. He would take the online tests and the conclusions would all lead to treatment. Health consequences were happening for Carl, but he resigned myself to being the guy who drinks himself to death. Towards the end he was able to string a few days together here and there, and since he had been able to quit a heavy meth addiction years earlier in life, he considered himself lucky to just be an alcoholic. After two years of trying to quit drinking with little success, he joined a Reddit Quit Drinking page and shared some of his story. The feedback he found the next day after posing shared that he was likely doing damage to his family and that stung a little bit. Another person shared with him that he deserved to be happy, and Carl had never felt that way before. Carl had gained 60 days of sobriety and then attended some AA meetings. It wasn't a new scene for him but this time it was different, and he started going back. He was frustrated, acknowledging that in order to stay sober he was going to have to keep going. He didn't want to be one of those people, but he decided to give it a try and work on the steps with sponsors. Over time he was starting to feel more connected to the community and doing more service work. Reading became important to Carl, learning more and more about the path he wanted to go on. His creativity suffered initially in sobriety but says it has come back 100-fold. He reflects that AA should be used as a launching pad. Carl's perspective on the point of life: the meaning of life is to find what you're good at, the purpose of life is to give it away to others. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down, we got to take the stairs back up. I love you guys.

Today we have Lara. She is 40 years old and lives in Northwest Arkansas. She took her last drink on August 8th, 2019. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [04:12] Thoughts from Paul: There was a great question during our Dry January class that asked "Why don't alcoholics get hangovers?" Paul did a YouTube video about this but wanted to share more here. Truth is, they do get hangovers, but they usually begin drinking before the full amount of alcohol can be metabolized in their system that they drank the day or night before. As tolerance develops with alcohol, the hangover gets pushed back later in the day the next day. A chronic drinker who drinks 10-15 drinks daily, won't begin the hangover cycle at 8am the next morning, but more likely, they will experience the worst of the withdrawal effects later that day or evening. Chronic drinkers are almost always experiencing a low to mid-grade hangover. In other words, they feel like shit all the time. First alcohol takes you to a place where you are no longer drinking to feel good, but to simply feel normal. They you are drinking to simply not feel like death. And then the worst place is when you are simply drinking not to die. *HUGE ASTERISK* Alcohol is the most dangerous substance to detox from. If you have been drinking 5-8 drinks daily, for months or years, then it's a very good idea to seek medical attention when detoxing. [09:26] Kris introduces Lara: Lara is married and they have two dogs. After teaching preschool for 12-13 years she now teaches Pilates. She enjoys going to concerts and spending time outdoors. Lara had limited exposure to alcohol until she went to college. While there, she found friends, and they drank regularly. What started out as being fun soon became a way for Lara to ignore her mental health issues that were creating a dark depression. After graduating and the issues getting worse, she ended up going to a psych ward for a few weeks and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She moved back home to live with her parents while she figured out what life was going to look like with the new diagnosis. She continued to drink in spite of the medications. Lara went to grad school in Colorado and was surrounded by friends and the drinking felt normal. She wasn't having major consequences until after getting married and she realized the drinking was happening all the time. Her husband ended up quitting drinking and while Lara supported him by quitting too, she didn't feel that she had a problem. Lara found herself reaching out to others to help support her as the spouse of someone quitting drinking. Over time she started realizing that recovery was her path as well. Lara says that she has learned that she knows how to ask for help if she needs it now. She and her husband share a sobriety date and their life has done a 180. Alcohol is no longer an issue, and they just enjoy living life. Lara's favorite resource in recovery: Holly Whitaker's book Quit Like a Woman. Lara's parting piece of guidance: Just find one person who you can talk to. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator You're the only one that can do this, but you don't have to do it alone. I love you guys.

Today we have Lisa. She is 66 years old and lives in Atlanta, GA. She took her last drink on November 16th, 2022. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:51] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares with us ten facts about Americans and their drinking habits that he found in an article from the Pew Research Center. The article shares with us statistics regarding what people are drinking and where alcohol consumption is the highest, along with statistics about age and income ranges. The biggest takeaway from this article is the first stat that says, "Only 62% of U.S. adults say they drink" while 38% abstain completely. Not everyone is kung fu fighting. There is a voice inside the head that says, "Everybody drinks", but right there we just debunked that myth. A lot of people don't drink because they don't want to. Many people don't drink because their forced to. Whatever the reason is, about 40% of Americans don't drink. And although alcohol consumption is rising, we're seeing the younger generations say no, like no previous generation has done so. [10:00] Paul introduces Lisa: Lisa is a repeat guest from episode 411. She took her last drink on November 16th, 2022. She is 66 and lives outside of Atlanta. She has been married for 37 years and they have two adult children. Lisa enjoys working out, traveling, reading, and listening to podcasts. Lisa grew up in a close family, but her parents had a miserable marriage. Her mother drank to deal with it and the drinking increased when Lisa was in middle school. Upon trying her first drink in high school, she didn't have the "wow" moment at first but quickly found it gave her confidence and she felt accepted and less insecure with her friends. After graduating college and entering the booming computer software industry, Lisa found herself drinking at a lot of parties, conferences, and sales meetings. She says her husband didn't drink much. Aside from when she was pregnant, Lisa drank in a way that she considered normal. In her 40's, Lisa and her husband left the corporate world and started their own business. It was successful but very stressful. She says her drinking ramped up and she was beginning to try and hide the wine bottles from her husband. After a fall Lisa had during a blackout, her doctor referred her to a counselor. She discovered AA and was able to stay sober for a year without doing the work. Soon after the year mark, Lisa thought she could moderate and started drinking again. She was successful with moderation at first, but after retiring, finding herself as the sole caretaker for her elderly mother, the drinking increased again. One night Lisa found herself pouring a glass of wine that she really didn't want and it was then she decided enough was enough. This time Lisa decided to get help. She went to AA and didn't feel it was working for her. She discovered a Facebook group called SoberSis as well as Café RE. After her last interview, she was connected with a lot of other ladies that she is still connected with today. Last year found Lisa tending to several health scares, several surgeries, and the unexpected loss of her parents eight weeks apart. Lisa says that gratitude, using the tools she has learned in the sober community as well as her faith and family has helped her remain sober through it all. Lisa's favorite ways to relax deep breathing and exercise. Lisa's advice for somebody struggling with life and alcohol: find a way to connect no matter how uncomfortable it is, we have to have connections. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we'll all go home. I love you guys.

Today we have Amber. She is 41 years old and lives in San Luis Obispo. She took her last drink on May 26th, 2020. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. "First it is an intention; then a behavior; then a practice; then a habit; then second nature; then it is simply who you are". [03:04] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares with us what a typical day in sobriety looks like for him. He starts his days with hydration, breathwork and/or stretching, reading and coffee. He takes time to connect with the universe and asks for guidance throughout the day. Paul likes to reflect on what he is thankful for either in a journal or he sits in a comfortable location outside facing the sun while he closes his eyes and gives thanks. Even on shit days, he makes a point to thank the universe. Reminding himself that the present moment is all that matters, spending time in nature, doing things that he enjoys, connecting with fellow sober peeps, and being creative are also very important to Paul. [12:13] Kris introduces Amber: Amber is 41 years old; she has two boys and a partner in crime. She works as a 2nd grade teacher, in addition to being a running and sobriety coach. They live in San Luis Obispo, CA and enjoys hiking, mountain biking, running, and swimming. Growing up, Amber says she was always shy and preferred to be in the background. She was introduced to alcohol in high school and discovered it helped her feel confident and have fun. She didn't really enjoy the taste, but she loved the way it made her feel and she and her friends drank every weekend. After going to college, Amber says her drinking only increased. She was recruited to be on the softball team with a full scholarship. The practice and academic schedule was challenging and her drinking increased from every weekend to nearly every day. She gained weight, she wasn't studying, and her grades were suffering. Her performance on the team found her on the bench often and eventually she was cut from the team and lost everything. Amber moved to San Diego and finished college there while working in restaurants. She says her drinking increased even more and she got a DUI a few years later. Shortly after that experience, Amber decided to join a teaching career and the stress of it found her relying on alcohol at the end of the day. Amber says a turning point came after getting married and having two children back-to-back. She had many roles to fill but was still drinking two bottles of wine a night. Finally figuring out that she wanted more for her life, Amber filed for divorce and started taking better care of herself. She started running as an outlet for her emotions and found herself meditating, which she feels helped her make decisions. She looked at her sobriety as a fresh start. Initially Amber was quiet about her recovery and felt she could figure it out on her own. Once she realized that wasn't working, she found Celebrate Recovery, got a sponsor, and started doing the work. Once she started meeting more and more people in recovery she stopped feeling alone. Amber left her teaching job and started her own business as a sober running coach. She started a sober running group Recovery Road Runners and they do a lot of fun things together and help other people stay sober. Amber encourages people to find physical activities that they enjoy doing, maybe things they did when they were kids. She also suggests vision boards to think about where you want to be in the future and goals you may have. Amber's biggest fear when she quit drinking: "That I would never have any fun again, total lie. I have way more fun now." Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator We're the only ones that can do this, but we don't have to do it alone. I love you guys.

Today we have Andrea. She is 47 years old and lives in Phoenix, AZ. She took her last drink on November 9th, 2021. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:12] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares a quote with us that says, "decide what life you want to live and say no to everything else". This same quote can be applied to your thoughts. What comes to mind after reading this quote is the word "purge". Saying no and letting go of things that don't fit the life we want to live isn't easy, but it is healthy and so is crying. Emotional tears have many health benefits. They contain stress hormones and other toxins. Researchers have theorized that crying flushes these toxins out of your system. A good cry also activates the parasympathetic nervous system which sends signals of calm and restoration to the body. In addition to this, crying dulls pain and releases oxytocin and endorphins. It is a way for the body to find a new emotional balance. A much better way than using alcohol. If you're finding emotions hard to deal with in sobriety then give the body permission to purge them out in the form of tears. Go ahead and lean into the millions of years of universal intelligence the body possesses and have a good cry. [09:28] Paul introduces Andrea: Andrea is 47 years old and lives near Phoenix. She has four children, two grandchildren and a Great Pyrenees. She works with people with substance abuse disorders and is working on a master's in social work. For fun she enjoys jogging, hiking, DIY projects and documentaries. Andrea and her family moved around a lot when she was going up which made it hard for her to keep friends. She had her first drink shortly after she discovered that her father was cheating on her mother. She felt the calming effects the first time and drank every change she could get during her teens. Andrea started bartending when she was 19. This found her drinking a lot after work which was creating some issues in her marriage. She was able to abstain from alcohol during all of her pregnancies but would drink as soon as she could after. The alcohol was creating issues in the marriage and when Andrea was 22, she went to rehab but didn't stay quit after leaving. A few years later she lost her mother to cancer and Andrea says that's the first time she drank to numb pain rather than just a socialization tool. The first consequence Andrea had was losing her nursing license after an arrest. When they were about to extend her probationary period where she could not drink without hiding it, she decided she didn't want to do it and turned in her license. Her heavy drinking would continue throughout her 20's and 30's. After her divorce when she was 41, Andrea did start exploring whether or not she had a drinking problem. She was beginning to see the consequences to her health and was realizing she didn't want this to be her legacy. She was gradually able to stack days together and eventually reached 90 days where she kept on going. The first year found Andrea continuing to read quit lit, listen to podcasts and attend a few AA meetings. Her decision to work on her relationships after year one was cut short when she lost a daughter to a drunk driving accident. Instantly she reached out to some sober friends to help her keep from drinking. Andrea feels that her sobriety has been a gift throughout this and helped her be there for her other children and grandchildren. Andrea has been attending AA, going to school, and making new friends in social situations she would have avoided in the past. Giving back is important to Andrea as she pursues her master's in social work. Andrea's favorite sobriety resources: podcasts, quit lit, The Phoenix Andrea's parting piece of guidance: the sooner you ditch the booze, the sooner you can start living. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we'll all go home. I love you guys.

Today we have Rick. He is 46 years old and lives in New Hampshire. He took his last drink on September 9th, 2023. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:45] Ponderings from Kris: For many of us on this journey, we start in a survival state of mind. The early days are filled with some basic life skills. How do I not drink when I get home from work? How do I handle conflict with people in my life? What do I do when I'm bored, stressed, sad, angry, or how am I supposed to celebrate? Kris reminds us that it is normal to focus on these things. After a while there is a shift to "what's next?". Recovering people before us have figured out that in order to keep what we have found in recovery; we have to give it away. We have had our struggles, and some of us have been through some really challenging situations that led up to, or as a result of our alcohol usage, but we don't have to let that keep us down! Who is better equipped to talk to someone struggling with substance abuse than a peer that has been through the same thing? Kris feels that there is something beautiful about taking the dark parts of our lives and using it to bring light to someone in need. You are more than your story. You are more than the dark times. You are a walking example of hope. You are proof that the courage to change exists [11:07] Kris introduces Rick: Rick is 46 and lives in New Hampshire. He has been married to his wife for 19 years and they have three daughters. He works for a family car business. He enjoys cooking, spending time with his kids, and playing games. Rick says his first experience drinking alcohol was when he was in France on a singing tour in high school. He recalls feeling very sick on the 7-hour bus ride across Europe the next day. Beyond a few other times at parties, Rick didn't really drink much after that until college. Having his first taste of freedom his freshman year, the focus was on partying and drinking. Rick says that after that it was the traditional drinking that is often part of the college experience. When Rick started working in the family business, that's when he says his drinking went from being on the weekends to drinking daily after work. Over time it progressed, and his wife would occasionally mention that it seemed like he was having a little too much. He would back off for a bit but never had the intention of quitting forever. He tried a lot of moderation techniques that didn't work, and he would end up feeling bad about himself. Over the last few years Rick has been listening to podcasts, quit lit and joined sobriety support pages online. He feels that listening to other people's stories has helped him a lot. After a comment from his wife that made him look differently at his drinking, he decided to try and quit again. Changing his perspective and sharing his recovery with his wife gave him a sense of relief. Finding connections in recovery communities and with a local friend that is in recovery as well, has solidified his resolve. Rick's plan for sobriety moving forward: Stay engaged in community, join Café RE chats and check in daily on the Stop Drinking subreddit. Maybe host a chat to give back. Rick's favorite resources in recovery: podcasts, audiobooks Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator We're the only ones that can do this RE, but we don't have to do it alone. I love you guys.

Today we have Kevin. He is 44 years old and lives in Cleveland, OH. He took his last drink on April 28th, 2018. [03:09] Thoughts from Paul: One of the main goals at Recovery Elevator is to soften the stigma surrounding alcohol addiction and recovery. Another goal is to give listeners permission to shred the shame and recover our authentic selves along the way. The phrase "Drink Responsibly" is such a cop out and doesn't do anything but place blame on the drinker. Alcohol is the most addictive drug on the planet, and you won't see other drugs proclaiming that you use the substance responsibly. We can do the "Drink Responsibly" thing way better and at the same time bring more people together in community from both sides of the aisle to heal. A favorite NA beverage company of Paul's, GO Brewing and Recovery Elevator have partnered up to release 180 six packs of their award-winning Sunbeam Pilsner. GO Brewing was started by a fellow member in the recovery space, Joe Chura. This is two companies who have a similar goal, uniting, in attempts to shred the shame around alcohol addiction. Andrew Huberman – What Alcohol Does to Your Body, Brain & Health [10:20] Paul introduces Kevin: Kevin is 44 years old and lives in Cleveland area, he is the head of coaching for the Reframe app and a former accountant. Kevin is married and for fun he enjoys attending his daughter's sporting events, reading and just relaxing when he isn't working. Kevin says his drinking began in college where he was in a fraternity and played sports. His drinking transferred into his career where there was a lot of stress, happy hours, and deadline parties where binge drinking was a way to socialize. Kevin and his wife got married when he was 23 and had their daughter when he was 27. His drinking increased as a way to cope with the high stress of his career. After some blood work found him diagnosed with fatty liver, he tried moderation and different attempts at taking breaks from alcohol. Without much success at controlling his drinking on his own, Kevin eventually decided to look into therapy with his wife's support. He developed a journaling practice and would talk with his therapist while working on quitting and made it 60 days. Several work and life events found Kevin trying to moderate the drinking again. He made the decision to commit to 61 days and then continued to extend the timeline. Kevin was reading a lot and listening to podcasts. His therapist helped him a lot as well. He started an Instagram page for himself, but after some time decided to go public and share more. He got a lot of positive feedback which fueled him to try and start recovery coaching. He became involved with Reframe app soon after. Kevin's best sober moment: his first sober concert with his daughter. Kevin's parting piece of guidance: practice. Find a platform that resonates with you and keep practicing. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.

Today we have Danielle. She is 34 years old and lives in Northern Ontario. She took her last drink on August 20th, 2023. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [03:22] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares the history of Recovery Elevator, how launching the podcast gave him accountability and how the listeners helped it expand over the last 464 consecutive weeks. The big message he wants to share here, however, is that if you are going to quit drinking or are seeking an alcohol-free life then you're going to have to do something different. Probably something very different than what you're currently trying. And it doesn't have to suck. You 100% can ditch the booze, and we are here to help. But do yourself a favor join Café RE, go to an AA meeting, check out Smart Recovery, take a sober ukulele class. There are more recovery pathways today than there ever have been, and we feel there is no right or wrong way to quit drinking. [10:54] Kris introduces Danielle: Danielle just passed the 100-day mark at the time of recording. She is 34 and is married with two cats and two dogs. She lives in Northern Ontario, and she is self employed as a copywriter and website designer. She enjoys hiking, paddleboarding, reading, yoga and lots of writing. Danielle says she started experimenting in high school around age 15. She wanted to be part of the crowd but as an introvert found it exhausting and preferred connecting with small groups at the parties. In college, she leaned more onto weed which she feels helped with her sleep and anxiety issues. She met her now husband when she was 22. They were living in Australia for a time and up until this point Danielle was just smoking and drinking socially. Her husband was a daily drinker and Daneille started drinking wine when they would travel. After moving back home, they made friends with their neighbors and would spend time after work drinking with them. She was drinking at home, drinking with the neighbors, and drinking at the farm where she had her horse. Her life revolved around when and where she could drink but she typically only felt comfortable drinking at home with close friends. After a new job and a move to a smaller town, Danielle thought that the change in environment would help her cut back on her bad habits. She found the change isolated, and after her office closed, she was forced to work remotely. She and her husband were drinking earlier in the day. Throughout this time, they had good times but there began to be fights and behavior changes for both of them. Drinking was becoming less and less enjoyable and they found themselves talking more and more about what life would be like without alcohol. Her journey to recovery found her listening to podcasts and starting to write about what she wanted to get out of quitting drinking. After a while, they both decided to join Café RE. One day Daneille and her accountability partner were talking about journaling and came up with the idea of a writing course to share with the RE community. Danielle says that using that as a form of service really helped her with her own recovery. Danielle's unexpected positives of ditching the booze: losing the anxiety she had for many years. The community she has gained in recovery. Danielle's favorite resources in recovery: podcasts, quit lit, chats in the community, journaling. Danielle's parting piece of guidance: you can't shame yourself out of the addiction. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator You're the only one that can do this, but you don't have to do it alone. I love you guys.

Today we have Zach. He is 34 years old and lives in Richmond, VA. He took his last drink on July 18th, 2023. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [04:14] Thoughts from Paul: Today we are talking about change. Research suggests that only 9% of people that make New Years resolutions complete them. Many quit well before February even starts. The main reason that these resolutions fail is our energies swing all the way to one side of the spectrum. In other words, we are out of balance. With drinking, we find ourselves addicted to alcohol. Then the mind comes up with the idea that we need to not be addicted to alcohol, then we become addicted to the idea of not being addicted. This is equally out of balance. So that's the word I want to plant with you today as we begin the new year is balance. On our sobriety journey, we cannot fight, or go to battle with an alcohol addiction. So, in terms of quitting drinking and not going overboard in the theatre of war against yourself, let's keep it simple. All you have to today is one thing, that is not pick up a drink. Are we quitting for a lifetime? God no. That would be out of balance. We are only quitting for today. [10:36] Paul introduces Zach: Zach was originally from California but currently lives in Richmond, VA. He has two sons who live nearby with their mother. He is a technical writer for the federal government. He enjoys the gym and spending time outdoors. Zach grew up in a home where alcohol wasn't very present. He attended a small college where it wasn't very prevalent either. He took his first drink after finishing college and was a normal drinker throughout his 20's. Drinking didn't become a problem for Zach until he was laid off of a job and his mental health started suffering. He was processing things from childhood and started having panic attacks and his sleep was an issue. He started drinking to help him sleep but over time it progressed to a daily habit. Zach says he got a wake-up call when he and his wife split up. He was able to get a few months of sobriety, but he ended up back drinking after the divorce was finalized. He had relocated for a new job and didn't know anyone. He had too much free time to drink heavily when he wasn't spending time with his kids. Zach was drinking at work and ended up having a meeting with HR where he finally told someone he had a problem. While he felt relieved to share this, he still struggled to quit and eventually lost the job. After his lease was up, he moved out of state to stay with some friends that were going to help him get back on his feet. When he relapsed while the friends were out of town, Zach ended up trying Antabuse to help him quit drinking once and for all. He attended rehab and then went to sober living. After a while he decided he needed to move back closer to his kids and was able to find a place in Richmond with the help of a friend in recovery. Zach tried a few different recovery modalities, but AA ended up working best for him. He got a sponsor who he has spoken to every day since they met. His sponsor has helped him realize that he cannot return to drinking. Zach is starting to see the benefits of not drinking, both physically and mentally. Community has been vital to Zach and his recovery. Zach's favorite resources: an app called The Big Book, and the RE podcast while at the gym. Zach's strategy to beat a craving: a walk and a phone call. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.

Today we have Tana. She is 44 years old and lives in Washington State. She took her last drink on July 30th, 2020. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. Paul shares an article where scientists say the mystery of how red wine headaches occur may be solved. Paul's opinion is that it's a waste of time, but here's the link for curiosity's sake. [03:40] Thoughts from Paul: In 1935, A.A. Founder Bill W, found that when he shared his experience, strength and hope to another individual who was struggling with alcohol, then Bill magically had the strength to remain sober. It shows the universal law of "to give is to have". Today I give you the message of Merry Christmas. To plant the seed, that to give is to have. To have is to give. Most of us have learned a way, or path that didn't work. Or maybe it kind of worked but was or is incredibly painful. For me, this path required numbing agents, alcohol being the most potent one. Now I know there are a couple thousand of you who listen to this podcast first thing on Monday morning when the episodes are released. Fantastic. How blessed I am to get you ear first thing in the morning. Ask not what Santa, or your family can give to you, but ask what you can give to them. [00:00] Kris introduces Tana: Tana is from Washington state, and she works in healthcare and recently has found a new passion for teaching yoga. She has three children, two who have recently graduated college and a 10-year-old daughter. She recently separated from her husband. She enjoys backpacking, hiking, running and dance. Tana and her siblings were raised by her father who recently passed away. Their mother was an alcoholic, and Tana knew from an early age that she was suffering. Her exposure to alcohol was limited to family members drinking socially. When Tana was a teenager some home changes found her moving in with her mother. At this point she was exposed to her mother's addictions firsthand and over time it made her depressed and wanting to rebel, so she began smoking cigarettes, but not really drinking. She moved out at 17 to start her own life. After starting her own life, Tana had two children and got married. Over time she realized the relationship wasn't good, so she left and just focused on her kids. Her only addiction issues were the cigarettes which she went to great lengths to hide out of shame. A few years later, Tana remarried and when she was pregnant with her third child, she quit smoking, and her husband encouraged her to quit for good. Tana found running to be a good replacement for smoking, but after her daughter got older, she would no longer have time to run. Her drinking became her tool to cope. Tana started to feel shame about her drinking and questioning it. She started listening to podcasts and discovering books that she thought may help her break the cycle and become the best mom she could be. When AA didn't feel like a good fit, Tana found community in Café RE. She finally felt safe to be herself, make friends, attend meetups, and enjoys giving back to others. Tana's plan in recovery moving forward: keep learning and growing. Tana's parting piece of guidance: it's different for all of us. It takes what it takes and for each of us that looks a little different. Just don't give up – never quit quitting. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator You're the only one that can do this RE, but you don't have to do it alone. I love you guys.

Today we have Gill. She's 33 years old from Lexington, MA and took her last drink on November 9th, 2019. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. Update from Ryan H on episode 457 – "I'm going on two weeks now and I'm definitely starting to notice a difference in my mood, digestive issues and weight." [03:02] Intro: Paul shares two Instagram accounts that will help you on your sobriety journey: Drop the Bottle - all about sobriety and ditching the booze. A.L.A.D.D.I.N – not about sobriety, but it is entertaining and when it's creator shares his art with the world, it gives others permission to do the same. [08:22] Paul introduces Gill: Gill is 33 and lives right outside of Boston, MA. She has a husband and a cat. She loves playing video games, going to concerts and travelling. She teaches chemistry courses and labs at a college in Boston. She is also the host of the Sober Powered podcast. Gill says she didn't start drinking until grad school. She didn't have opportunities in high school because she was bullied and didn't hang out with people that drank. She started because she feared that if she didn't then no one would like her. Once she tried it a few times and got her first buzz, she enjoyed it so much it became a regular thing for her. Gill started having repercussions from drinking early on. She didn't know her limits, had frequent opportunities to drink and would end up getting sick and having blackouts. Gill thought all of this was normal and that everyone drank like her. Gill says that her performance in school started suffering and there was multiple drink fueled fights with her boyfriend (who is now her husband). Gill ended up leaving program and decided to start teaching instead. She learned that drinking helped with the stress she experienced while teaching. Over time she switched from wine to vodka to save money. Her tolerance increased, and she started struggling with hangovers at work. Trying to moderate and make rules around her drinking was frustrating for Gill. People didn't want her to quit and when she would bring it up others would downplay it and tell her she was fine. Gill's depression was getting worse, and she started waking up with uncontrollable anxiety often. Once she began having suicidal thoughts, she got scared. Gill decided to take a break for 90 days to lower her tolerance and thought she would be cured. During that time her suicidal thoughts and anxiety lessened. She completed the 90 days and started drinking again and the consequences quickly followed. After her last rule was compromised, she realized she had to accept that she had to let alcohol go indefinitely. While it was scary at first, Gill says she also felt a sense of peace. Gill didn't think she needed meetings when she first quit but doesn't recommend people try to do it alone. After the pandemic started, Gill found she had the time to go to therapy, she started listening to podcasts, and doing a lot of research on the science around alcohol addictions. She wanted to share what she had learned with others, so she started her own podcast: Sober Powered. Gill's advice for the holidays: you don't have to go to everything if you are worried that you're going to drink or that you can't stay sober, don't go. Gill's go-to tool to get past a craving: walking, rage walking. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator I love you guys. Go big because eventually we'll all go home.

Today we have Kerry. She's 40 years old from Williston, ND and took her last drink on January 7th, 2016. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. Shoutout to our Café RE chat hosts! Thank you for your dedication to the community, and for providing a space for us to share our experiences. You're the best! [01:29] Highlights from Kris: It's important that we surround ourselves with people who are going to enrich our lives. People who will meet us where we are, but also challenge us and encourage us to grow. Kris shares some examples of great friends he has in his life and shares an article that outlines Five Types of Friends – friends we need and need to be. Take a look at the people you have in your life. Do you think you have someone that fits in each of these categories? When was the last time you let them know what they mean to you? Use this as a reminder to tell someone you love them, and that you're grateful for them. If you find yourself today, feeling like YOU'RE alone, I promise you that you're not. You're people are out there. [10:15] Kris introduces Kerry: Kerry and her partner live in Williston, ND and are raising four kids. She recently decided she was going to become a firefighter which stemmed from being an EMT and a nurse. She enjoys spending time with the kids and they are currently rebuilding a boat. Kerry was exposed to alcohol throughout her childhood but didn't really have any great interest in it. She feels that she was a people pleaser and didn't want to get in trouble until senior year when she decided she could let loose and have some fun before going to college. She found alcohol gave her relief from the stressors in her life. Going into college she and her friends were party seekers. She had excelled so much academically that she felt she could relax and have fun and not worry about responsibilities. Her idea of an addict was her dad who wasn't obvious about it. She didn't have the consequences he did so she didn't feel she had any problems. When she was 19 her parents put her into rehab because of drug use. While she was there the counselors recognized that her bigger issue was drinking. Kerry didn't listen and continued to drink after leaving treatment. Kerry's parents got a divorce and she had moved back home. She used any excuse to drink to not deal with things. She was having consequences like DUIs and broken relationships. At the time Kerry was working with her mom at a family business where happy hours and daily drinking after work were part of the daily landscape. Looking for a change, Kerry a boyfriend moved to Alaska and started a family. The drinking slowed down, but after that relationship ended and they shared custody of the kids, Kerry found herself going back to drinking. After moving back to North Dakota, she continued to use drinking to self-medicate. People didn't realize it because she was so good at taking care of other people and being a problem solver. Over time the drinking was getting heavier and heavier, and Kerry tried to create parameters to control it. She tried quitting for a while but when she tested the waters again, she had consequences including another DUI where she realized she needed to get help to quit completely. She joined Lion Rock Recovery, which was all online, so she didn't need to leave her family for treatment. It helped her focus on the reason she drank and deal with her mental health and gave her tools to use after the program ended. Kerry's plan in recovery moving forward: keep learning, keep doing crazy things like firefighting and getting more involved with recovery service. Kerry's parting piece of guidance: there isn't a roadmap, and if one thing doesn't work, you can try another. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator We are the only ones that can do this RE, but we don't have to do it alone. I love you guys.

Now the Holidays have been coupled with alcohol for as long as the Earth has been orbiting the Sun. I'm kidding, that isn't correct, but you get the point. And if you're struggling with alcohol or trying to get sober, the holidays can be the ultimate challenge. This episode should help. In this Holiday Collab Episode, we've got Gill from the Sober Powered Podcast. Casey from the Hello Someday Podcast, and Veronica from the Soberful Podcast.