Recovery Elevator

Today we have Sarah. She is 45 and lives in Indiana. She took her last drink on December 31st, 2022. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. Let's talk AF International travel with Recovery Elevator. We've got some incredible trips in the works. We're going to Vietnam for 12 days in January 2025. Then Back to Costa Rica for our 4th trip to the Blue Zone in April 2025, and then, we're going back to Peru in October 2025 where we're going to the Inca Trail and work with Non-profit Peruvian Hearts again. [02:42] Thoughts from Paul: The World Heart Federation published a policy brief in 2022 staying there is "no level of alcohol consumption that is safe for health." There was and still is a collective belief that alcohol is good for you. This is especially prominent in the wine culture. The paradigm is slowly cracking which is a huge step in the right direction. When Paul started Recovery Elevator in 2015, you couldn't find that line anywhere. It was almost customary to see a line that says something like "studies show moderate alcohol consumption can improve heart health and longevity". Today the tides are turning and a narrative that alcohol can wreck your world (aka, the truth) is emerging. People are waking up to the lies that Big Alcohol has sold us. Check out this recent article about a new phenomenon called BORGS explains what these are and then follows it up with the snippet about alcohol being shit. [09:18] Paul introduces Sarah: Sarah is 45 and lives in Indiana. She is married with two kids and works in marketing. When she isn't running the kids to their practices and games, she enjoys exercising, reading and backpacking. Sarah parents divorced when she was 11 and she grew up with her mother who she was very close with. She doesn't recall alcohol being very present in their lives. Sarah didn't drink much in high school but in college and into her 20s, everything she and her friends did involved alcohol. She always knew her drinking looked a little different than everyone else's, but didn't identify it as a problem. When Sarah was 35, her mother was diagnosed with brain cancer. Sarah quit working so that she could care for her mother through the diagnosis. Her drinking increased as she dealt with being a caretaker, having a family in addition to not working. After her mother died four years later, Sarah says she did not know how to deal with life. She would drink into a blackout almost daily and was stuck in the cycle of wanting to quit but not being able to. Sarah began to worry that it might not be possible for her and worried that she would disappoint her mother if she wasn't able to quit. In time, Sarah found sober podcasts and tried medications to help. She says Antabuse worked, but she would stop taking it in order to drink. No one knew she was taking it to try and quit and Sarah feels that by not sharing, she always left the door open to drink again. Sarah knew something had to change and decided to come clean with her husband. Being active in the Café RE community helped Sarah gain the courage to choose a quit date and write a letter to her husband letting him know what was going on. Sarah says she received a lot of support from him. After the physical withdrawals, Sarah felt hopeful. As the months went on, she protected her sobriety by avoiding situations where there was drinking, and she began to gain more confidence. Sarah says that when she has thoughts of drinking, she does chooses to put her energy into her sober resources instead. Sarah's best sober moment: experiencing the Northern Lights with her son Sarah's parting piece of guidance: never quit quitting. [41:14] Outro: Paul invites listeners to answer some questions not with words in their minds, but in how they carry themselves. How would you walk if…….? RE merch Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we'll all go home. I love you guys.

Today we have Adam. He is 46 from Flowermound, TX and took his last drink on December 31st, 2022. Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [03:00] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares many things that are dangerous but concludes that the most dangerous thing on the planet is the Ego. The reason why it is so dangerous is because it is never fully satisfied, it's always hungry, lives in constant state of lack and is always seeking more, more, more. Alcohol is but a symptom of the most dangerous thing on the planet. Addiction gets a bad rap, but it does serve a purpose. It forces you to split from the thinking mind. As the author of The Untethered Soul, Michael Singer says you are the one hearing or witnessing the thoughts, but you are not your thoughts. Some of the humblest people Paul has met have been people in recovery. The addiction is the equalizer and forces us to seek a better way no longer guided by the blind pursuit of the ego. [10:22] Kris introduces Adam: Adam is a registered nurse, married to his wife for 23 years and they have two children. He loves hiking, camping and walking and enjoys tabletop gaming and the creativity and childlike innocence that it has awoken. Alcohol was not very present in Adam's childhood household. When he was 15, he had a bad experience with hamburgers and cheap alcohol that kept him away for a while. Typical teenage experimentation was there, but not much booze in his high school years. Becoming a young adult found Adam at college and going to a lot of parties. The heavier partying led to Adam beginning to have blackouts and hangovers. He ended up going to the Appalachian Mountains for some mission work and to get away from his dissonance around substance use. He says it still followed him there and eventually he had to go back home. Adam says drinking was part of he and his wife's early dating period. After getting married and having kids, Adam was working 45 minutes from home and found himself drinking on the way home from work and the drinking was becoming daily. He knew it didn't feel right but continued to do it. Deciding to start nursing school after the birth of their second child was very stressful and Adam's drinking eventually found him seeking to stop but with short stints of sobriety, he would go back and feel stuck. This continued for Adam for a while and started to affect his relationships. Adam feels he finally had a time where it just clicked for him. He had joined Café RE and then joined the Restore course and he was able to organize some tools and awareness around his drinking. He knew he had work to do but he was willing to work on it finally. He currently has a great support network and close friends that he is doing the work with. Adam feels that a lot of things about him have changed and every day he sees joy. Adam's biggest fear around quitting drinking: the fear of not having fun Adam's plan moving forward: staying connected and immersed Adam's parting piece of guidance for people thinking about quitting drinking: it makes the world colorful again and life will move in the direction it's supposed to move. Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.

Today we have Jennifer. She is 41 from Hamilton, OT Canada and took her last drink on January 18th, 2024. Café RE: Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:09] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares some information from an article he saw on the Instagram page recoveryroadmap.me. It discusses how in Canada, despite bringing in $13 billion in tax revenue, the net social costs in 2020 was $19 billion. And it is even worse in the US. The bright side of all of this is that we are becoming aware of this major deficit, and change is taking place. The demand for alcohol is lowering as people are becoming more aware that alcohol is not good for you. Two years ago, The Huberman Lab did a podcast called What Alcohol Does to Your Body and he debunked the myth that alcohol is good for you. Paul also shares that thanks to an initiative called Sounds Right, musicians who use natural sounds can list "Nature" as a featured artist and royalties from the tracks will go toward environmental causes. [08:33] Paul introduces Jennifer: Jennifer is married and they have a daughter and a standard poodle. She works for the family business and for fun she plays paintball, tennis and volleyball – anything active with friends. Jennifer says that as the "good girl" growing up, she always wanted to be bad and says that drinking fit in with that. During the week she was excelling in school, but on the weekends, she went to raves with friends and started smoking weed. She enjoyed the duality of her life and the same pattern continued at university. While in her first year of college, her father bought back his company with a ten-year plan of Jennifer becoming the CEO. The stress and responsibility of this and her parents divorce a few years later all found her drinking escalating. Some of her friends told Jennifer's mom about her drinking and staged a small intervention to which Jennifer was not receptive. She assured everyone she was ok, but then just began to isolate when she drank. After the plan found her becoming the CEO, her drinking went from nights and weekends to drinking all day just to cope. She recognized that this was a problem but was scared to mention it to anyone. This is when she first joined Café RE, started listening to podcasts and trying to learn more about the disease. Jennifer tried a lot of moderation methods but was never successful until she got pregnant with her daughter at 35. She was able to quit drinking while pregnant and a few months after having the baby. After returning to work, Jennifer says her drinking started right where she left off. She says she was beginning to have disturbing thoughts and finally concluded that she needed help. Not being able to come up with a good way to quit without anyone knowing, she decided to confide in her cousin who she knew would understand. In January of 2024 at a dinner with her cousin, mom and husband, Jennifer was able to burn the ships, and everyone was very supportive. Upon going to treatment shortly after, Jennifer says she took her recovery very seriously and wanted to make it worth her time. Journaling and practicing mindfulness are big parts of Jennifer's recovery, she takes time to be present with her daughter and her life, attends meetings and counseling regularly and says stacking habits are important to her growth. Nurturing the sober version of herself has been great for her. Jennifer can see a future now Jennifer's best sober moment: Walking my daughter to school and being present. Jennnifer's parting piece of guidance: Don't be afraid to ask for help. Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.

Today we have Brian. He is 59 from Eastern Iowa. He took his last drink on May 23rd, 2023. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. Recovery Elevator is going to Vietnam January 9th-20th, 2025. Registration for our newest alcohol-free travel trip opens July 1st and we've got room for 25 passengers. Who's up for seeing the world with a group of travelers who have ditched the booze? [02:24] Thoughts from Kris: Kris' topic today is one of the foundational themes in recovery which is telling our story or burning the ships as we refer to it at Recovery Elevator. Burning the Ships refers to when Hernan Cortez sailed across the ocean and ordered his men to burn their ships when they landed. There was no turning back, no retreat. When we share our story, we can no longer hide from it and are faced to move forward with others having knowledge of our journey. This isn't a black and white situation so it will be different for everyone, and we each have to do what is right for us. Kris shares the different levels of burning the ships and his experiences with them. He feels that the positives outweigh the negatives. When people hear our stories, not just the stats, it changes their perception. Hearing our stories in others', helps us know we are not alone, and we never know the impact that sharing our stories may have on others. Think of the moments that have inspired you. What is your version of that? Let Kris know what you think. How has burning the ships played out for you? Email [email protected] to share your thoughts. [10:48] Kris introduces Brian: Upon the release of this episode, Brian has just celebrated one year of sobriety! He is married, together they have five adult children and seven grandchildren. Brian is active and enjoys many outdoor activities, home projects, travelling and reading. Brian grew up on a farm and recalls it was common for people to have drinks after a long day of work. He says he and his friends would sneak beer out of curiosity. When he was in his teens, he and his friends would drive around the gravel roads with a cooler of beer. After graduating high school, Brian joined the military, which was a tradition in his family. He was enlisted for two years and lived the "work hard, play hard" life that is common in that environment. Shortly after discharge from the Army, Brian got a DUI. He did not feel this was a red flag to stop drinking, just needed to pay the fine and move on. After graduating college, he got his first job in management and married his first wife. They bought land and started a family together. Brian says drinking was mostly social on the weekends and at the local tavern after work. Brian and his wife got a divorce after 15 years married. Soon after, Brian began suffering from extreme anxiety and panic attacks. He tried medication and meditation to deal with it, but it was still intense. A few years later, Brian started dating his current wife. They were very social and frequently drank, but she was not a heavy drinker. Brian began to find himself waking up with anxiety and would often change his work hours to accommodate his drinking or recovery from the night before. In December of 2020 Brian discovered his sister had recently become sober. He feels this really led him to examine his drinking. Upon arriving home from that visit, he started reading a lot and listening to podcasts. He began attending more group chats with Café RE and connecting with other folks in recovery. Brian says his sister taught him a lot of mindfulness exercises which he has found very helpful. Brian's parting piece of guidance for those considering sobriety: just dig in and try it. Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator I love you guys. Go big because eventually we'll all go home.

Today we have Tyler. He is 37 and lives in Phoenix, AZ. He took his last drink on November 28th, 2023. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. Recovery Elevator welcomes Danielle Marr to the team! She now writes the bi-monthly newsletter for RE which always has journalling prompts at the end. She taught our DTB writing course this last fall and does Instagram posts a couple days a week. She was also interviewed on episode 464. To subscribe to the Recovery Elevator newsletter, click here and wait for the box to pop up. [03:35] Thoughts from Paul Paul shares with us the history of NA beers and how they were created to pacify the Mothers Against Drunk Drivers campaign back in the 90's. The companies had zero intention of scaling this segment of their business and it has been said that the purposefully made the beer tasteless and bland. Those days are gone. Non-alcoholic beer sales have been growing every year by 30-40% since 2019. Many of the major beer brands are investing time and money into creating their own NA products and there are more breweries popping up that are 100% dedicated to making an AF craft beer. There is no need to explore the NA beer world in the early days of your alcohol-free life because it can be triggering. There is trace amount of alcohol in many of the NA beers (usually less than 0.5%) and you would have to drink 25-30 of them to reach the legal BAC. Check out this Instagram post where someone drinks several NA beers and stills blows zeros into a breathalyzer. What the AF beer world exploding shows is that people are waking up to the fact that alcohol is not good for you and big alcohol sales are reflecting that. The stigma around alcohol addiction is also crumbling. We as consumers decide every move a business makes – start asking for more AF options at restaurants and grocery stores. Start asking and you will receive. Go Brewing. Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off. [09:58] Paul introduces Tyler: Tyler is 37 years old and lives in Phoenix, AZ and has a six-month-old daughter. He does maintenance for a homeowners association. Tyler is also a musician and enjoys performing, writing, and recording music. Tyler had his first drink when he was in high school as simply a fun thing to do with friends. A health scare which ended up with tumor removal drove Tyler to feel he needed to live life to the fullest. He says his drinking increased as it was associated with having fun, and he discovered his passion for being a musician. That found him romanticizing alcohol, drinking more after gigs, and acquiring DUIs. Since a lot of people he knew had DUIs, it was considered normal and wasn't taking seriously. When he lost a close family member to cancer, Tyler says his drinking evolved from good and bad to ugly. He and his girlfriend went out often, and his drinking became more frequent both while out and while at home. Tyler had a lot of anger that would come out while drinking. These issues eventually found Tyler and his girlfriend splitting up. Tyler started going to therapy and discovered that the loss of his aunt affected him more than he realized. He was able to process some of his anger and cut back on his drinking. He and his girlfriend got back together and six months ago their daughter was born. Tyler began to realize that his drinking was interfering with this new life and told his girlfriend he was ready to quit. At this time, he also reached out to a supportive cousin that has over 20 years in recovery. Tyler says AA didn't resonate with him, but books, podcasts and other peoples' stories have been very helpful. He believes in recovering out loud. Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator I love you guys. Go big because eventually we'll all go home.

Today we have Anna. She is 49 from North Georgia and took her last drink on December 22nd, 2017. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:09] Thoughts from Paul: A few weeks ago, Paul made a post on the Recovery Elevator Instagram pages asking people what advice they would give to somebody who was about to quit drinking. Thank you to everyone that commented on the video, there were well over 100 comments. In this episode, he shares some of the comments and be sure to follow Recovery Elevator on Instagram if you don't already. The most common advice was don't do this alone, reach out for help, and join a community. We have partnered with Sober Link. You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code. [11:16] Kris introduces Anna: Anna lives in North Georgia and is a custodian at a middle school. For fun she enjoys hiking, camping and all things outdoors. Anna first started drinking when she was 18 in college. Prior to that she was focused on being a runner and it was when an injury made her stop that she traded her running addiction for alcohol. She says that she was a blackout drinker from the beginning. When asked by her now ex-husband why she drank Anna said it was because she wanted to. She believed it was a privilege to drink as long as she was keeping up with her responsibilities. At the time she didn't believe that it wasn't normal to be throwing up in the bathroom every day. She considered drinks as a reward for getting things done. Anna got a DUI and was required to attend a recovery center. That put her back in contact with other people and she realized that she missed being social and doing things with other people. Her last day of drinking was when she went Christmas shopping and told herself that she wasn't going to drink, but she did. The next morning, her kids told her they weren't able to wake her up the night before. That's when Anna realized she had lost the privilege and the desire to drink was gone. About three weeks after that, she started attending AA and a group called FAVOR which had a kickball team. She enjoyed being able to do things with other people who didn't drink. One of the reasons she was hesitant to quit drinking before was because she felt alcohol was involved in everything social. Anna says that the 12 steps are a lifestyle for her. She enjoys the structure and routine of AA. After a few months, she got a sponsor and began to work the steps. Anna says that she enjoys being open minded about recovery and participating in things that are not AA. The first 90 days in recovery, Anna says she was very go with the flow. She feels she learned all she could from alcohol and was ready to learn the joy of recovery and getting to meet new people and learn new things again. In sobriety, Anna enjoys traveling and meeting new people. She feels that life is meant to be experienced and she knows she has to take chances and meet new people. Anna feels she always has a group everywhere she goes. Sobriety gave Anna her confidence back and a sense of purpose. She feels that life challenges haven't been nearly as hard since she is sober. Anna's favorite resource in recovery: "Café RE or AA, whatever I can get my hands on first if it's just picking up and scrolling through Facebook or YouTube with listening to speakers." Anna's parting piece of guidance: keep things simple, don't compare yourself to other people, remember you cannot get drunk if you don't pick up the first drink. RE merch Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator We're the only ones that can do this RE, but we don't have to do it alone. I love you guys.

Today we have Susie. She is 52 and lives in Lubbock, TX and took her last drink on February 10th, 2024. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:18] Thoughts from Paul: Paul's goal with the introductions each week is to find a topic that we can collectively resonate with. His goal is for as many of us as possible to say "yep" or to nod our heads while listening. There are many different types of listeners to the podcast. Some had already ditched the booze, some long ago and some more recently. Another group is still in the process of quitting drinking. We also have another group of listeners who are here to support a loved one who is struggling with alcohol. We are so glad you are here with us. Paul lists the many reasons why people listen and what they are looking for by doing so. Ultimately, we are all here to grow. [09:58] Paul introduces Susie: Susie is 52 and lives in Lubbock, TX with her husband of two years. She has been a hairstylist for many years and considers it her passion. Susie enjoys reading, exercise, enjoying the outdoors and attending sporting events. Susie first experimented with alcohol when she was in high school and didn't care for it. There was very little drinking for Susie throughout college and her 20's. In Susie's 30's, her husband and she began to drink socially on the weekends but his drinking increasingly got worse and eventually the divorced due to his anger issues and alcohol abuse. For a long time, Susie didn't use alcohol as a coping mechanism but had other issues that she feels were attempts to avoid her feelings such as an eating disorder and excessive exercise. Susie reflects that she didn't really have an off switch when she drank for events, but typically wouldn't drink for a while afterwards. Shortly after marrying her current husband, some issues started to arise in their relationship and Susie found herself beginning to use alcohol to cope. She says it wasn't much of an issue until she began to try and hide how much she was drinking. It started to create issues in her marriage and Susie would find her husband leaving her a few times, which created feelings of abandonment and rejection. After an event that led to Susie being hospitalized, she attended an IOP but left and continued drinking. Her husband asked her to go to inpatient rehab, so she did, but she continued to drink afterwards and ended up taking another trip to rehab a few months later. Her husband eventually ended up leaving, which was very eye-opening for Susie. She started attending a women's AA group which she enjoyed and learned a lot from. Going forward Susie plans to continue attending AA meetings when she can, and she just joined Café RE where she plans to be an active participant. She and her husband are separated now but are attending counseling and Susie feels hopeful about their future. Susie surrounds herself with positive people at work and has friends from rehab that she checks in with frequently. Things Susie has learned about herself on this journey: self-acceptance; loving yourself. No matter where you are, you're okay just the way you are. Susie's best sober moment: spending time with her husband going to sporting events sober. Susie's parting piece of guidance: don't ever give up on yourself, don't isolate yourself, always surround yourself with people. Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down; you gotta take the stairs back up. You can do this. I love you guys.

Today we have Emily. She is 31 and lives in Raleigh, NC. She has been sober since March 17th, 2019. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:26] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares with us a list of his favorite AF (Alcohol Free) legends. Included in the list is a man named Barry he met on the Gold Coast of Australia who taught him it's the little things in life that create the most beautiful textures in life. Another AF legend is Bill Wilson who together with Dr. Bob would become founders of Alcoholics Anonymous. Paul also includes the 480 rock stars wo have shared their story on this podcast. Our interviewees have realized that for them to be successful, they have to help others. Thank you to all of the interviewees on the podcast. Included in the list is Paul's dog Ben. He taught him unconditional love. And above all else, Paul feels the number one AF legend is the universe. It has provided everything he has needed for wholeness, happiness, and wellbeing. Even when being handed a roundhouse kick to the kidney, the universe only does so with the goal of promoting growth or to illuminate a better path. [10:46] Kris introduces Emily: Emily is 31 years old, and lives in Raleigh, NC. She has a Husky named Yogi and she works in water treatment. For fun she enjoys attending music festivals and concerts. Emily says she is an adopted only child and grew up with wonderful parents that were always supportive. It was a religious household and while Emily feels she learned some great values through that, as she got older, she wanted to rebel a bit. Drinking with the older crowd was how she chose to do that and feels that she always drank to get drunk and didn't see the point of drinking otherwise. After high school Emily would have rather gone to the military instead of going to college, which was what was expected of her. She decided to go to school and join the reserves instead. Shortly after turning 18, she got a DUI which ruined the military path for her. School became a big party for Emily, and she ended up failing out of school. Emily was watching her peers graduate, start families and begin careers and she wasn't sure what she was doing. She feels that this led to her drinking more to cope with the lost feelings she had. She would end up having two more DUI's before she was 23. While dealing with the consequences of these DUI's, Emily went to rehab in Texas for 30 days. It was the first time she realized that she might have a problem but still wasn't certain. After leaving inpatient treatment she started an outpatient program and was living in a sober house. She ended up transitioning to California and was excited to have a new start. Gradually drinking started back up for Emily and she ended up moving back to North Carolina because of how expensive it was where she was living. After serving her probation from the DUIs, Emily found herself drinking again, but says it wasn't as much as before. She was beginning to start working on her health with nutrition and exercise. Emily says that alcohol wasn't fitting into her goals, so it slowly tapered off. She had one last hangover after St Patrick's Day and decided she no longer wanted to feel that way anymore. While working on sobriety, Emily learned that a friend from rehab had passed, and she used it as fuel to keep going. She was looking for podcasts and found Recovery Elevator. Listening to people's stories really helped her and she started participating in communities learning that she was not alone. Emily's favorite resource in recovery: people Emily's parting piece of guidance: Be proud of the days that you don't give up and celebrate even the small wins. Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator We're the only ones that can do this RE, but we don't have to do it alone. I love you guys.

Today we have Destiny. She is 29 and lives in South Houston, TX. She took her last drink on December 30th, 2023. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. Café RE just submitted its application to become a 501c3 non-profit organization. The team has been working on the application for about 8 months and we have been told, in another 4-6 months, Café RE will become a nonprofit. We are going to be able to take our yearly service project to the next level, in which we can receive donations, then use those funds to make this planet a better place for all. Click the link below if you would like to check out Café RE. [03:12] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares with us that nothing is static, and everything is constantly changing. The roles we play in life are no exception. You are always changing. There was a time when your identity was an infant, then a child. Paul shares the many identities that he has had over the years and that he no longer identifies as a drinker. Identities of some of the largest beer brands in the history of the world are changing seemingly overnight and they are changing their identities for one reason only. That is because you are changing your identity. White Claw now has an AF option, only because enough customers have changed their identities and are beginning to ask for it and that's the only reason why White Claw has this option. As your identity changes in regard to alcohol, start asking for what your identity craves. Next time you are at a restaurant, ask if they have an AF drink menu or what their options are. It is 100% okay to change your identity to a non-drinker in a seemingly drunk world. Athletic Greens [09:19] Paul introduces Destiny: Destiny is 29 years old; she is married, and they have a three-year-old son and a German Shorthaired Pointer. For work, Destiny is a nurse where she sees a lot of the damage that alcohol can cause. Destiny began drinking in her teens and it progressed from there. She worked in the restaurant industry for almost 10 years while attending nursing school. After graduating and starting to work in the ICU, she spent a lot of her time off drinking. She had her son in May of 2020 and suffered with some postpartum issues. Added to the already stressful ICU, the pandemic was happening, and she got married. Destiny says there was always an excuse to drink, and she often found herself the drunkest person in the room and frequently had blackouts. Destiny would be able to quit for small stretches of time and would attempt forms of moderation. Her husband would mention that she was drinking too much, and she would deflect and shift some blame on the situations around her that she felt called for drinking. A rock-bottom moment for Destiny was when she realized that her marriage was beginning to suffer along with all of her goals in life. She says she would have plans that she wanted to but felt like there was a wall that she kept running into. She pictures the wall as alcohol and everything else was on the other side. Destiny has not gone to AA but says she enjoys reading books, listening to podcasts, and surrounding herself with supportive people who themselves do not drink. She has been spending a lot of time at the gym, she and her husband have started counseling, and she has be going to therapy. When the cravings hit, she plays the tape forward and recalls how things will end if she does decide to drink. Destiny's best sober moment: playing fetch with her dog and her young son. Destiny's parting piece of guidance: if you're thinking about it, you should probably do it. Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator I love you guys. Let's go big because eventually we'll all go home.

Today we have Cyndi. She is 54 and lives in Denver, Colorado. She took her last drink on December 10th, 2023. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:08] Thoughts from Kris: Kris shares how recovery has ignited his curiosity. While drinking, he didn't step out of his comfort zone very much and feels he was perfection driven to offset the dumpster fire that was happening with his drinking. He didn't feel safe not being good at things, so he never tried. Since in recovery, Kris has taken up a plethora of hobbies, most recently welding. His garage now houses evidence of his hobbies and creating new things rather than the massive amount of empties from when he isolated in there with alcohol. Kris now embraces his curiosity and lets himself fail as he learns new things. When asked what they like to do for fun, many interviewees respond that they are still trying to figure that out and that's normal as we can become immersed in the drinking life and it's hard to find time for anything else. What do you like to do for fun? What have you gotten back in sobriety? Or what would you like to be able to do? What's holding you back? If you're still in it, is there something that you could use as fuel or motivation? [8:56] Kris introduces Cyndi: Cyndi is 54 years old and lives in Denver with her husband, cat, and dog. She has worked in the dental industry for the last 35 years and enjoys playing outside with her dog, hiking, camping, and cooking. Cyndi's first real exposure to alcohol was when she was 15. She was at a party where she worked and drank a lot of beer trying to keep up with everyone. Even though she was sick a few days afterwards, she was not deterred and found drinking fun. Cyndi says she was "successful" at drinking for many years, but around 2019 she attended IOP but says it didn't stop her. Her drinking soon created issues in the marriage, finding them separating from each other for periods of time and trying to use different tools to help Cyndi quit. After a particularly rough time, she started going to AA. She would be able to get a few months at a time and finally was able to achieve two years. Cyndi's toxic job started taking over her life and she gradually stopped working on her sobriety which found her relapsing and starting the on again off again cycle again. The relapse happens long before the first drink, Cyndi feels. Work started replacing meetings. Her husband was noticing that she was more tired and unhappy, and she was starting to spend more time isolating herself from him because she was drinking again. Eventually her drinking would lead to Cyndi losing her job and found her husband working on divorce papers. They ended up having a long talk about their situations and Cyndi started working hard on recovery again. Cyndi ended up finding a much better job and she is now attending five meetings a week and has a new sponsor. This new job is much closer to where she lives and the meetings she likes to attend are on the same route as work. Cyndi has started therapy which she had never done before. Communication with her husband is better than it has ever been. Her faith is also stronger than it has ever been. Cyndi's plan in sobriety moving forward: to be proactive, have a check list of things that help her stay sober. Cyndi's parting piece of guidance: don't quit quitting. Acknowledge your problem and get help one way or the other and just keep going. [51:44] Outro: Kris shares a song that he came across recently: Hi Ren Whether we're fighting with ourselves, or others, when we're in that dark place we can't really win. BUT we can learn. We can find a way to be healthy and bring love and light into the world. Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator We're the only ones that can do this, but we don't have to do it alone I love you guys.

Today we have Jim. He is 44 and lives in Silicon Valley, CA. He took his last drink on February 20th, 2024. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:27] Thoughts from Paul: Paul is coming up on ten years without a drink. He has attended many social situations without consuming any alcohol. When he told people he wasn't drinking, the question he got was "Wait, you're not drinking?" said as more of a statement of astonishment than anything. As in the impossible was happening right before their eyes and they were surprised someone could still have a good time without drinking. A major factor of why ditching the booze can be so hard is that the thinking mind will tell you it can't be done. The biggest reason for this is that an alcohol-free life lies in the unknown. The mind and the ego crave the known. But it can be done. If you are on day one, a series of day ones, Paul reminds us that yes, it can be done. But for how long? A morning, an afternoon? A week? A month? A year? We are only ditching the booze one day at a time. Addiction forces us to confront the thinking mind. Addiction forces us to tease out who is who in the thinking mind. It forces us to locate and meet ourselves. [08:55] Paul introduces Jim: Jim lives in Silicon Valley and is a software engineering manager for a large tech firm. He is 44 and happily married for 21 years with three young kids. He enjoys skiing, learning woodworking, and completing task lists. Alcohol was a non-issue for much of Jim's life. He tried it a few times when he was in his early teens, but he didn't enjoy it much. He didn't drink in high school or college and then drank very sporadically throughout his 20's. In his 30's, the company he worked for would have gatherings at the end of the week where alcohol was provided. Jim says this was where he started enjoying drinking. Over time it progressed and there were some negative consequences for Jim at work and he started suffering with anxiety and depression. At the time, Jim felt like he was living multiple lives. COVID era was a difficult time for Jim. He was working from home and had little to do so he found himself drinking more. When work became busy again, the distractions at home drove Jim to rent an office where he was more isolated and drinking earlier and earlier in the day. On the way to a bible meeting one day after having a few drinks, Jim realized this wasn't a great idea and decided to check out an AA meeting instead. He says that he went to several different types of meetings over the course of the year before anything really stuck for him. Jim feared telling his wife about his problem, but knew he had to do it. Her initial response was not believing that Jim really had an issue with alcohol but started to feel betrayed when she realized how much he was hiding from her. Jim was determined to tackle the addiction and created his own path. This includes listening to podcasts and journalling every day. He has had a series of stops and starts in his recovery but feels that was part of the learning process and utilizes past journal entries to remind him of why quitting is the best thing for him. After a recent relapse he started to feel very hopeless and knew he couldn't continue on this path. Jim has leaned into his faith and scripture in addition to his own past journal entries to help him gain the resolve to try sobriety again. He is a member of Café RE and has an accountability partner which has helped him a lot. Jim's best sober moment: when his wife told him how proud she is of how far he is come. Jim's parting piece of guidance: if you get stuck, it's ok, but you just can't stay there. Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator We all go home so we might as well go big. I love you guys.

Today we have Tonya. She is 50 and lives in St Paul, MN. She took his last drink on August 21st, 2021. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. Registration opens today for our annual retreat in the beautiful Rocky Mountains located outside of Bozeman, MT. This retreat is from Wednesday August 14th through Sunday August 18th, and it is going to be a blast! Click here for the full itinerary and to get pricing info. [02:30] Thoughts from Paul: Is quitting drinking hard? It can be, yes but if you have a drinking problem, quitting drinking is way easier than riding alcohol off into the sunset of self-destruction. Here are some reasons why it can be a challenge: 1) Your body has to detoxify itself form the chemical alcohol. 2) You are going to have to learn some new routines and make new habits. 3) You need to start building friendships where alcohol isn't the foundation. 4) Accept that boredom is a normal and healthy life experience. Here are some glorious truths about quitting drinking: 1) After 14-21 days you are going to get out of the brain fog and want more of the new "good-feeling" thing. 2) No more checking message to see what you said the night before, you'll remember the book you read, less sick days at work, and more money in your bank account. 3) Your dopamine system rebalances. 4) You are living life at face value and when we do that, we can start to build the life that no longer requires alcohol. [10:27] Kris introduces Tonya: Tonya has been married for 21 years and they have two children who both attend the University of Minnesota. She recently left the corporate world to be an in-home professional organizer. She enjoys her work as well as cooking, tending her plants and in recovery she is always up for trying new things. Tonya was born into a deeply religious family. They attended church daily along with going to school there. She says they were forced to pray for forgiveness everyday which left her feeling like a bad person. Tonya didn't drink until college because she didn't want to be like her father who was an alcoholic. There was typical college-age partying, but Tonya says she always went a little further than everyone else. Some of her behavior led to losing friends and being seen as a liability on their travels. As she got older and wanted to get married and have kids, she was able to slow the drinking down a bit, but still drank heavily while out of town for work. Having postpartum depression after her daughter was born, Tonya found she was using alcohol to cope with life. Over time her family started becoming concerned about her drinking, so she went to rehab for the first time. She didn't end up being able to quit and struggled with the AA program. She would attend rehab five more times and while she learned a lot about the psychology and science behind alcohol and addiction, she didn't actually quit. Shortly after her 2nd DWI, Tonya lost her job for reasons that didn't include alcohol although she admits she was physically addicted and drinking on the job. Unable to find another job she ended up sinking into her drinking and says she spent a year doing nothing else. After nearly ending her life, she realized that she didn't want to do that to her daughter. She was at the end of her rope and ready to give recovery and AA another try. Tonya started going to different AA meetings and got a sponsor. She is grateful that she found community because she knows she couldn't have done it on her own. Tonya's favorite resource in recovery: Everything AA app, the AA and RE communities. Tonya's parting piece of guidance: Time. Things will get better in time. One day at a time. Get involved in community. Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator We all go home so we might as well go big. I love you guys.

Today we have Shari. She is 60 and lives in Santa Barbara, CA. She took his last drink on December 31st, 2022. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. Check out our RE merch. We have hats, sweatshirts, tank tops, t-shirts and more. [02:56] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares with us how the idea of Sober Travel first came to him. After a trip of a lifetime that went sideways for him, he knew the only way that he could do alcohol-free travel in the future was with alcohol-free travelers. On the most recent sober trip to Costa Rica, Paul and other members of the cohort traveled to see a Ceiba tree that is at least 350-400 years old. He shares with us the history of the Ceiba tree and what they mean to the people that live around them. They also got to witness live sea turtles hatching and were able to release them into the surf. Quitting drinking is like the release of the sea turtle. Your new life awaits, and anything is possible. [09:46] Paul introduces Shari: Shari is 60 years old and lives in Santa Barbara, CA. She has been married for 34 years and has furry children rather than human children. She works in consumer-packaged goods and operations and for fun enjoys cycling, hiking, and walking. Shari took her first drink when she was 13 and it resulted in a blackout and being extremely sick. She went through her teen years drinking whenever she had the opportunity, which was always problematic. Shari had multiple DUI's by the age of 24 and with her second one was forced to go to AA and take a yearlong course in alcohol education. It was then that she realized she was an alcoholic. She didn't want to go to AA but she did find some nice people there. After a few stops and starts she was able to get and stay sober for 8 years and used hosting meetings as accountability to stay sober. Over time she started to slow down her attendance at meetings and started drinking again during a particularly stressful time in her life. Shari was putting parameters around her drinking after she started again and was able to maintain it to a degree. She would have varying stages of abstinence, and this continued for the next 20 years. Shari says she didn't work very hard at AA during this time, and limited the connections she was making with other people. When she moved back to Santa Barbara 10 years ago, her parents health was deteriorating. Watching her father drink problematically reminded her that she didn't want to go down that path. Shari started looking for other modalities to help her quit drinking. She started reading quit lit and joined The Tempest sobriety course with Holly Whitaker. She started listening to RE where the idea that we can't do this alone really resonated with her. Shari loves that there are so many more options in the recovery space now. She recognizes that everything she does these days is for her recovery. Therapy, exercise, eating right, connecting with people and reading – they all feed her soul and keep her grounded. Finding community and attending more meetings with fellow travelers on the journey was initially uncomfortable for Shari. But she knew she needed to get out of the comfort zone and join the conversations. Shari's best sober moment: the breathwork she participated in at Bozeman last year. Shari's parting piece of guidance: never quit quitting and you shouldn't do it alone. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.

Today we have Nick. He is 36 years old from Grand Rapids, MI. He took his last drink on January 19th, 2021. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:41] Thoughts from Paul: Paul likes Instagram because it's a platform for artists, for teachers, for musicians, for dancers, and more to showcase their talents. Paul shares with us audio from a video he found while on Instagram. Here's the scene: It's a busy city street at nightfall, when a gentlemen comes to a skidding halt on his electric motorbike wearing a microwave as a helmet. When his motorbike comes to a stop, he pushes the open microwave door button, and begins to speak. Check out the video here. If you are serious about change, there will be shitty times, but trust the process because in the long run you're going to be a better person. The biggest gift Paul gets while doing Recovery Elevator podcast is witnessing the change made daily. This change, added up over many days, months and even years, results in quite the transformation. [08:40] Kris introduces Nick: Nick is a real estate agent in Grand Rapids, MI. He enjoys outdoor activities in his free time. He has a boyfriend and a dog that he takes everywhere with him. Nick says he started drinking in high school when he and his friends would pillage the parents' liquor cabinets. He enjoyed alcohol because it freed his inhibitions. As someone who was coming to terms with being gay in a conservative city and kept it a secret for a while. The internal struggle drove Nick to enjoy checking out and alcohol was the way he chose to do that. In his late teens, Nick started working in the food and beverage industry. He felt very welcome at the gay bars he worked in but didn't have good role models. He knew in his early twenties that his drinking needed to eventually be addressed but wasn't ready at that time. Nick says he was very functional but drank daily. He feels he was just surviving at that point in time. Nick started thinking about quitting when he was in his early thirties. He says he was stuck there for a while trying to determine if he really had a problem. He started utilizing his ADHD medication to help him be able to drink more. The planning and rituals became exhausting. Drinking progressed beyond "only after the responsibilities are done" to finding reasons to start earlier. Nick's first stint at sobriety was in 2018 when he joined a local IOP and AA and was able to remain sober for about four months while learning a lot about addiction. His partner at the time drank heavily and eventually Nick gave up his sobriety. His rock bottom came when he was hiking with his dog hungover and realized how miserable he was and questioned if this was how he wanted to live his life. The next day he went back to AA. After working the steps with a sponsor, Nick felt empowered. He says he went on a quest for sobriety and tried out other modalities. When a sober travel trip to Costa Rica with RE coincided with his one-year milestone, he decided to go and feels he gained a lot from that trip. Within the past year Nick has changed careers and feels the best he has ever felt. Going forward, he plans to keep growing in his career and nurturing his sobriety. Nick's favorite resource in recovery: Recovery Elevator podcast Nick's parting piece of guidance: the harder you fight addiction, the more entangled you are so just let go. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.

Today we have Lee. He is 43 and lives in the United Kingdom. He took his last drink on August 17th, 2020. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. If you have found the Recovery Elevator podcast helpful to you, please take a moment to leave a review in either iTunes or Spotify. This helps you shred the shame and helps our show reach more listeners. [03:41] Thoughts from Paul: There are a million reasons why people drink. One reason is relief. Now thank you alcohol for providing myself relief when I needed it most. Then there came a time, and it wasn't overnight when the source of relief became less effective. Alcohol then provided no relief at all. Then it became a source of discomfort itself. Now the most excruciating part of a drinking problem is when we reach for alcohol to seek harmony, but it only brings pain. Now the conscious mind knows the outcome, it knows it won't work. But in the unconscious, it is still inscribed like a commandment on a clay tablet that alcohol will deliver the goods. So, listeners, the seed I want to plant with you today, that even though we live in a world full of messaging and imagery saying that alcohol will enhance your life, in reality, the truth is an alcohol-free life is the easier, softer way. Sober Link – receive $50 off of a device. [08:33] Paul introduces Lee: Lee is from Birmingham, UK where he lives with his wife and two kids. He works for a paint manufacturer and for fun he enjoys exercise. Lee's first taste of alcohol was when he was 8 and he thought it was terrible. Around age 14 he attended a party where there was alcohol, and he enjoyed the buzz he got from drinking until the next morning when he felt hungover. It was a few years later before he started drinking regularly. Lee utilized alcohol to combat insecurities and be more social. People told Lee that after he was married and had kids that he would settle down, but Lee says his drinking got worse. He says he selfishly thought about how he could go home and drink in the house alone while his wife may be staying overnight after the birth of their second child. Even after wrecking his car while drunk, Lee did not see that he had a problem. Instead of going to the hospital, he left for the shop to get more alcohol. The drinking started putting a strain on his relationship with his wife. The cycle of arguments and Lee leaving the home for a few days only to return asking for forgiveness went on for about six months. After a particularly bad event where Lee couldn't remember the events of the days he was gone from home, he had an anxiety attack. Lee finally admitted to himself that he had a problem and reached out to AA. Lee started attending AA meetings via Zoom and was still drinking and just listening. He started to see what everyone had, and they seemed happy. At that point he decided to give quitting a try. Lee says the first few months were horrific. He couldn't concentrate and was very irritable. He kept going to meetings and listening to everyone tell him it was going to get better but struggled to see it. The next several months found him sleeping better and feeling 95-96% less anxiety. After 18 months to 2 years, he has been able to forgive himself for things I did when he was drinking. He feels he is no longer to try being sober, instead he is living a sober life. Lee's best sober moment: getting his family back and being more present with them. Lee's parting piece of guidance: take it one day at a time. If you can't do that, do a half day, do an hour, you'll get there eventually. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.

Today we have Erin. She is 45 and lives outside of Boston. She took her last drink on December 26th, 2021. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [01:52] Thoughts from Kris: The transition out of winter is one of Kris' favorites. He sees it as an awakening. He took the cue from Mother Nature and paused this season. No big decisions or changes. Just time to reflect on things. Now that nature is starting to wake back up, he feels it's time for him to do the same. Kris reflects on his first spring in recovery and how the nice weather worried him. He started connecting with multiple recovery groups, discovering his triggers, digging into his whys and was able to feel connected to something bigger than himself. Being a part of a recovery community is cool that way... we see the reward in our own growth, but we're contributing to the growth of the whole as well. Wherever you are this spring, that's right where you're supposed to be. Where you go from here is up to you. What tools do you have that you're using? What tools aren't you using? Is this a season to pick something up, or one to let some things go? Only you can answer these questions for yourself. [09:08] Kris introduces Erin: Erin is 45 and lives about 13 miles outside of Boston. She works as a senior paralegal for a large corporation and works for Rover on the side where she takes care of other people's animals. Erin says her exposure to alcohol was limited to family drinking on holidays or special occasions, but she never tried drinking until she went away to college. What started as curiosity, ended up as binge drinking and partying multiple days of the week when she joined a sorority. After getting married, Erin says the drinking was more casual on the weekends or when out and about. After a tough breakup in her early thirties, Erin found herself living alone, working two jobs, and going back to finish college. During her second marriage, Erin says she and her husband drank a lot socially. Her husband was the life of the party when they were out, but home there was a very different scene that found Erin drinking in isolation to deal with it. She didn't feel she had a way out as she was financially dependent on her husband at the time. Eventually Erin was able to leave the relationship and started over single in a new town. She surrounded herself with people that drank like her, but deep down she knew she didn't drink like everyone else. Alcohol became her best friend and her drinking got worse during the pandemic as she was isolated and now didn't have the safety of working in the office. Returning to the office in early 2021 was helpful to her mental health, but she still knew she was drinking too much on the evenings and weekends. A cousin was sharing how great they felt at 60 days of sobriety which made her become sober curious. Planning to do Dry January with a friend, Erin found herself starting early after getting sick with COVID. In the early days, Erin continued to go to the bar where her friends were, but she recognized that wasn't good for her. Instead, she started walking more, listening to podcasts, and going to therapy. She was beginning to gain confidence and faith in herself. Erin's favorite resource in recovery: RE podcast, Wayne Dyer Erin's plan moving forward: continue therapy and connecting with others. Kris wants to hear from you, listeners! What are you looking forward to this spring? Do you feel something different this year compared to years past? Email [email protected] and let him know what this spring has in store for your or what you hope to see from it. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator We might as well go big RE, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.

Today we have Carl. He is 52 years old and lives in California. He took his last drink on August 22nd, 2014. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [03:08] Thoughts from Paul: Arriving at a perfect balance with progress and perfection is ungodly hard, and we all struggle with it. No one is perfect and if you're telling yourself, you should be doing more of ABC and less of XYZ, welcome to the party, welcome to the human condition. There is progress though, you are self-aware which is more than 1/2 the battle. We have to have dualities, for example, tall to know short, you need silence to know sound. You have to have imperfection to know perfection. They are both equally important and you can't have one without the other. So, with progress not perfection, most of us are using someone else's version of perfection to define ourselves. While your soul is remarkably perfect, this is no perfection in this perfectly imperfect world. Go do you, and remember we are all just walking each other home. [09:52] Paul introduces Carl: Carl is 52 years old, and he is a graphic artist. Carl admits he didn't have a lot of fun before recovery but now enjoys writing, painting, drawing, and podcasting. He is the creator of Sober Pod Recovery Podcast. Carl had been in treatment as early as 15 years old and says that even while doing programs, he was essentially a dry drunk. He had other addictions and was able to get sober for five years before a relapse. Carl married his childhood sweetheart who had a child from a previous relationship. Together they had three more children. He says he drank alcoholically and while he was functional, he pushed the limits and was mixing copious amounts of alcohol with other drugs. He would take the online tests and the conclusions would all lead to treatment. Health consequences were happening for Carl, but he resigned myself to being the guy who drinks himself to death. Towards the end he was able to string a few days together here and there, and since he had been able to quit a heavy meth addiction years earlier in life, he considered himself lucky to just be an alcoholic. After two years of trying to quit drinking with little success, he joined a Reddit Quit Drinking page and shared some of his story. The feedback he found the next day after posing shared that he was likely doing damage to his family and that stung a little bit. Another person shared with him that he deserved to be happy, and Carl had never felt that way before. Carl had gained 60 days of sobriety and then attended some AA meetings. It wasn't a new scene for him but this time it was different, and he started going back. He was frustrated, acknowledging that in order to stay sober he was going to have to keep going. He didn't want to be one of those people, but he decided to give it a try and work on the steps with sponsors. Over time he was starting to feel more connected to the community and doing more service work. Reading became important to Carl, learning more and more about the path he wanted to go on. His creativity suffered initially in sobriety but says it has come back 100-fold. He reflects that AA should be used as a launching pad. Carl's perspective on the point of life: the meaning of life is to find what you're good at, the purpose of life is to give it away to others. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down, we got to take the stairs back up. I love you guys.

Today we have Lara. She is 40 years old and lives in Northwest Arkansas. She took her last drink on August 8th, 2019. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [04:12] Thoughts from Paul: There was a great question during our Dry January class that asked "Why don't alcoholics get hangovers?" Paul did a YouTube video about this but wanted to share more here. Truth is, they do get hangovers, but they usually begin drinking before the full amount of alcohol can be metabolized in their system that they drank the day or night before. As tolerance develops with alcohol, the hangover gets pushed back later in the day the next day. A chronic drinker who drinks 10-15 drinks daily, won't begin the hangover cycle at 8am the next morning, but more likely, they will experience the worst of the withdrawal effects later that day or evening. Chronic drinkers are almost always experiencing a low to mid-grade hangover. In other words, they feel like shit all the time. First alcohol takes you to a place where you are no longer drinking to feel good, but to simply feel normal. They you are drinking to simply not feel like death. And then the worst place is when you are simply drinking not to die. *HUGE ASTERISK* Alcohol is the most dangerous substance to detox from. If you have been drinking 5-8 drinks daily, for months or years, then it's a very good idea to seek medical attention when detoxing. [09:26] Kris introduces Lara: Lara is married and they have two dogs. After teaching preschool for 12-13 years she now teaches Pilates. She enjoys going to concerts and spending time outdoors. Lara had limited exposure to alcohol until she went to college. While there, she found friends, and they drank regularly. What started out as being fun soon became a way for Lara to ignore her mental health issues that were creating a dark depression. After graduating and the issues getting worse, she ended up going to a psych ward for a few weeks and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She moved back home to live with her parents while she figured out what life was going to look like with the new diagnosis. She continued to drink in spite of the medications. Lara went to grad school in Colorado and was surrounded by friends and the drinking felt normal. She wasn't having major consequences until after getting married and she realized the drinking was happening all the time. Her husband ended up quitting drinking and while Lara supported him by quitting too, she didn't feel that she had a problem. Lara found herself reaching out to others to help support her as the spouse of someone quitting drinking. Over time she started realizing that recovery was her path as well. Lara says that she has learned that she knows how to ask for help if she needs it now. She and her husband share a sobriety date and their life has done a 180. Alcohol is no longer an issue, and they just enjoy living life. Lara's favorite resource in recovery: Holly Whitaker's book Quit Like a Woman. Lara's parting piece of guidance: Just find one person who you can talk to. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator You're the only one that can do this, but you don't have to do it alone. I love you guys.

Today we have Lisa. She is 66 years old and lives in Atlanta, GA. She took her last drink on November 16th, 2022. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:51] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares with us ten facts about Americans and their drinking habits that he found in an article from the Pew Research Center. The article shares with us statistics regarding what people are drinking and where alcohol consumption is the highest, along with statistics about age and income ranges. The biggest takeaway from this article is the first stat that says, "Only 62% of U.S. adults say they drink" while 38% abstain completely. Not everyone is kung fu fighting. There is a voice inside the head that says, "Everybody drinks", but right there we just debunked that myth. A lot of people don't drink because they don't want to. Many people don't drink because their forced to. Whatever the reason is, about 40% of Americans don't drink. And although alcohol consumption is rising, we're seeing the younger generations say no, like no previous generation has done so. [10:00] Paul introduces Lisa: Lisa is a repeat guest from episode 411. She took her last drink on November 16th, 2022. She is 66 and lives outside of Atlanta. She has been married for 37 years and they have two adult children. Lisa enjoys working out, traveling, reading, and listening to podcasts. Lisa grew up in a close family, but her parents had a miserable marriage. Her mother drank to deal with it and the drinking increased when Lisa was in middle school. Upon trying her first drink in high school, she didn't have the "wow" moment at first but quickly found it gave her confidence and she felt accepted and less insecure with her friends. After graduating college and entering the booming computer software industry, Lisa found herself drinking at a lot of parties, conferences, and sales meetings. She says her husband didn't drink much. Aside from when she was pregnant, Lisa drank in a way that she considered normal. In her 40's, Lisa and her husband left the corporate world and started their own business. It was successful but very stressful. She says her drinking ramped up and she was beginning to try and hide the wine bottles from her husband. After a fall Lisa had during a blackout, her doctor referred her to a counselor. She discovered AA and was able to stay sober for a year without doing the work. Soon after the year mark, Lisa thought she could moderate and started drinking again. She was successful with moderation at first, but after retiring, finding herself as the sole caretaker for her elderly mother, the drinking increased again. One night Lisa found herself pouring a glass of wine that she really didn't want and it was then she decided enough was enough. This time Lisa decided to get help. She went to AA and didn't feel it was working for her. She discovered a Facebook group called SoberSis as well as Café RE. After her last interview, she was connected with a lot of other ladies that she is still connected with today. Last year found Lisa tending to several health scares, several surgeries, and the unexpected loss of her parents eight weeks apart. Lisa says that gratitude, using the tools she has learned in the sober community as well as her faith and family has helped her remain sober through it all. Lisa's favorite ways to relax deep breathing and exercise. Lisa's advice for somebody struggling with life and alcohol: find a way to connect no matter how uncomfortable it is, we have to have connections. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we'll all go home. I love you guys.

Today we have Amber. She is 41 years old and lives in San Luis Obispo. She took her last drink on May 26th, 2020. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. "First it is an intention; then a behavior; then a practice; then a habit; then second nature; then it is simply who you are". [03:04] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares with us what a typical day in sobriety looks like for him. He starts his days with hydration, breathwork and/or stretching, reading and coffee. He takes time to connect with the universe and asks for guidance throughout the day. Paul likes to reflect on what he is thankful for either in a journal or he sits in a comfortable location outside facing the sun while he closes his eyes and gives thanks. Even on shit days, he makes a point to thank the universe. Reminding himself that the present moment is all that matters, spending time in nature, doing things that he enjoys, connecting with fellow sober peeps, and being creative are also very important to Paul. [12:13] Kris introduces Amber: Amber is 41 years old; she has two boys and a partner in crime. She works as a 2nd grade teacher, in addition to being a running and sobriety coach. They live in San Luis Obispo, CA and enjoys hiking, mountain biking, running, and swimming. Growing up, Amber says she was always shy and preferred to be in the background. She was introduced to alcohol in high school and discovered it helped her feel confident and have fun. She didn't really enjoy the taste, but she loved the way it made her feel and she and her friends drank every weekend. After going to college, Amber says her drinking only increased. She was recruited to be on the softball team with a full scholarship. The practice and academic schedule was challenging and her drinking increased from every weekend to nearly every day. She gained weight, she wasn't studying, and her grades were suffering. Her performance on the team found her on the bench often and eventually she was cut from the team and lost everything. Amber moved to San Diego and finished college there while working in restaurants. She says her drinking increased even more and she got a DUI a few years later. Shortly after that experience, Amber decided to join a teaching career and the stress of it found her relying on alcohol at the end of the day. Amber says a turning point came after getting married and having two children back-to-back. She had many roles to fill but was still drinking two bottles of wine a night. Finally figuring out that she wanted more for her life, Amber filed for divorce and started taking better care of herself. She started running as an outlet for her emotions and found herself meditating, which she feels helped her make decisions. She looked at her sobriety as a fresh start. Initially Amber was quiet about her recovery and felt she could figure it out on her own. Once she realized that wasn't working, she found Celebrate Recovery, got a sponsor, and started doing the work. Once she started meeting more and more people in recovery she stopped feeling alone. Amber left her teaching job and started her own business as a sober running coach. She started a sober running group Recovery Road Runners and they do a lot of fun things together and help other people stay sober. Amber encourages people to find physical activities that they enjoy doing, maybe things they did when they were kids. She also suggests vision boards to think about where you want to be in the future and goals you may have. Amber's biggest fear when she quit drinking: "That I would never have any fun again, total lie. I have way more fun now." Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator We're the only ones that can do this, but we don't have to do it alone. I love you guys.

Today we have Andrea. She is 47 years old and lives in Phoenix, AZ. She took her last drink on November 9th, 2021. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:12] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares a quote with us that says, "decide what life you want to live and say no to everything else". This same quote can be applied to your thoughts. What comes to mind after reading this quote is the word "purge". Saying no and letting go of things that don't fit the life we want to live isn't easy, but it is healthy and so is crying. Emotional tears have many health benefits. They contain stress hormones and other toxins. Researchers have theorized that crying flushes these toxins out of your system. A good cry also activates the parasympathetic nervous system which sends signals of calm and restoration to the body. In addition to this, crying dulls pain and releases oxytocin and endorphins. It is a way for the body to find a new emotional balance. A much better way than using alcohol. If you're finding emotions hard to deal with in sobriety then give the body permission to purge them out in the form of tears. Go ahead and lean into the millions of years of universal intelligence the body possesses and have a good cry. [09:28] Paul introduces Andrea: Andrea is 47 years old and lives near Phoenix. She has four children, two grandchildren and a Great Pyrenees. She works with people with substance abuse disorders and is working on a master's in social work. For fun she enjoys jogging, hiking, DIY projects and documentaries. Andrea and her family moved around a lot when she was going up which made it hard for her to keep friends. She had her first drink shortly after she discovered that her father was cheating on her mother. She felt the calming effects the first time and drank every change she could get during her teens. Andrea started bartending when she was 19. This found her drinking a lot after work which was creating some issues in her marriage. She was able to abstain from alcohol during all of her pregnancies but would drink as soon as she could after. The alcohol was creating issues in the marriage and when Andrea was 22, she went to rehab but didn't stay quit after leaving. A few years later she lost her mother to cancer and Andrea says that's the first time she drank to numb pain rather than just a socialization tool. The first consequence Andrea had was losing her nursing license after an arrest. When they were about to extend her probationary period where she could not drink without hiding it, she decided she didn't want to do it and turned in her license. Her heavy drinking would continue throughout her 20's and 30's. After her divorce when she was 41, Andrea did start exploring whether or not she had a drinking problem. She was beginning to see the consequences to her health and was realizing she didn't want this to be her legacy. She was gradually able to stack days together and eventually reached 90 days where she kept on going. The first year found Andrea continuing to read quit lit, listen to podcasts and attend a few AA meetings. Her decision to work on her relationships after year one was cut short when she lost a daughter to a drunk driving accident. Instantly she reached out to some sober friends to help her keep from drinking. Andrea feels that her sobriety has been a gift throughout this and helped her be there for her other children and grandchildren. Andrea has been attending AA, going to school, and making new friends in social situations she would have avoided in the past. Giving back is important to Andrea as she pursues her master's in social work. Andrea's favorite sobriety resources: podcasts, quit lit, The Phoenix Andrea's parting piece of guidance: the sooner you ditch the booze, the sooner you can start living. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we'll all go home. I love you guys.

Today we have Rick. He is 46 years old and lives in New Hampshire. He took his last drink on September 9th, 2023. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:45] Ponderings from Kris: For many of us on this journey, we start in a survival state of mind. The early days are filled with some basic life skills. How do I not drink when I get home from work? How do I handle conflict with people in my life? What do I do when I'm bored, stressed, sad, angry, or how am I supposed to celebrate? Kris reminds us that it is normal to focus on these things. After a while there is a shift to "what's next?". Recovering people before us have figured out that in order to keep what we have found in recovery; we have to give it away. We have had our struggles, and some of us have been through some really challenging situations that led up to, or as a result of our alcohol usage, but we don't have to let that keep us down! Who is better equipped to talk to someone struggling with substance abuse than a peer that has been through the same thing? Kris feels that there is something beautiful about taking the dark parts of our lives and using it to bring light to someone in need. You are more than your story. You are more than the dark times. You are a walking example of hope. You are proof that the courage to change exists [11:07] Kris introduces Rick: Rick is 46 and lives in New Hampshire. He has been married to his wife for 19 years and they have three daughters. He works for a family car business. He enjoys cooking, spending time with his kids, and playing games. Rick says his first experience drinking alcohol was when he was in France on a singing tour in high school. He recalls feeling very sick on the 7-hour bus ride across Europe the next day. Beyond a few other times at parties, Rick didn't really drink much after that until college. Having his first taste of freedom his freshman year, the focus was on partying and drinking. Rick says that after that it was the traditional drinking that is often part of the college experience. When Rick started working in the family business, that's when he says his drinking went from being on the weekends to drinking daily after work. Over time it progressed, and his wife would occasionally mention that it seemed like he was having a little too much. He would back off for a bit but never had the intention of quitting forever. He tried a lot of moderation techniques that didn't work, and he would end up feeling bad about himself. Over the last few years Rick has been listening to podcasts, quit lit and joined sobriety support pages online. He feels that listening to other people's stories has helped him a lot. After a comment from his wife that made him look differently at his drinking, he decided to try and quit again. Changing his perspective and sharing his recovery with his wife gave him a sense of relief. Finding connections in recovery communities and with a local friend that is in recovery as well, has solidified his resolve. Rick's plan for sobriety moving forward: Stay engaged in community, join Café RE chats and check in daily on the Stop Drinking subreddit. Maybe host a chat to give back. Rick's favorite resources in recovery: podcasts, audiobooks Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator We're the only ones that can do this RE, but we don't have to do it alone. I love you guys.

Today we have Kevin. He is 44 years old and lives in Cleveland, OH. He took his last drink on April 28th, 2018. [03:09] Thoughts from Paul: One of the main goals at Recovery Elevator is to soften the stigma surrounding alcohol addiction and recovery. Another goal is to give listeners permission to shred the shame and recover our authentic selves along the way. The phrase "Drink Responsibly" is such a cop out and doesn't do anything but place blame on the drinker. Alcohol is the most addictive drug on the planet, and you won't see other drugs proclaiming that you use the substance responsibly. We can do the "Drink Responsibly" thing way better and at the same time bring more people together in community from both sides of the aisle to heal. A favorite NA beverage company of Paul's, GO Brewing and Recovery Elevator have partnered up to release 180 six packs of their award-winning Sunbeam Pilsner. GO Brewing was started by a fellow member in the recovery space, Joe Chura. This is two companies who have a similar goal, uniting, in attempts to shred the shame around alcohol addiction. Andrew Huberman – What Alcohol Does to Your Body, Brain & Health [10:20] Paul introduces Kevin: Kevin is 44 years old and lives in Cleveland area, he is the head of coaching for the Reframe app and a former accountant. Kevin is married and for fun he enjoys attending his daughter's sporting events, reading and just relaxing when he isn't working. Kevin says his drinking began in college where he was in a fraternity and played sports. His drinking transferred into his career where there was a lot of stress, happy hours, and deadline parties where binge drinking was a way to socialize. Kevin and his wife got married when he was 23 and had their daughter when he was 27. His drinking increased as a way to cope with the high stress of his career. After some blood work found him diagnosed with fatty liver, he tried moderation and different attempts at taking breaks from alcohol. Without much success at controlling his drinking on his own, Kevin eventually decided to look into therapy with his wife's support. He developed a journaling practice and would talk with his therapist while working on quitting and made it 60 days. Several work and life events found Kevin trying to moderate the drinking again. He made the decision to commit to 61 days and then continued to extend the timeline. Kevin was reading a lot and listening to podcasts. His therapist helped him a lot as well. He started an Instagram page for himself, but after some time decided to go public and share more. He got a lot of positive feedback which fueled him to try and start recovery coaching. He became involved with Reframe app soon after. Kevin's best sober moment: his first sober concert with his daughter. Kevin's parting piece of guidance: practice. Find a platform that resonates with you and keep practicing. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.

Today we have Danielle. She is 34 years old and lives in Northern Ontario. She took her last drink on August 20th, 2023. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [03:22] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares the history of Recovery Elevator, how launching the podcast gave him accountability and how the listeners helped it expand over the last 464 consecutive weeks. The big message he wants to share here, however, is that if you are going to quit drinking or are seeking an alcohol-free life then you're going to have to do something different. Probably something very different than what you're currently trying. And it doesn't have to suck. You 100% can ditch the booze, and we are here to help. But do yourself a favor join Café RE, go to an AA meeting, check out Smart Recovery, take a sober ukulele class. There are more recovery pathways today than there ever have been, and we feel there is no right or wrong way to quit drinking. [10:54] Kris introduces Danielle: Danielle just passed the 100-day mark at the time of recording. She is 34 and is married with two cats and two dogs. She lives in Northern Ontario, and she is self employed as a copywriter and website designer. She enjoys hiking, paddleboarding, reading, yoga and lots of writing. Danielle says she started experimenting in high school around age 15. She wanted to be part of the crowd but as an introvert found it exhausting and preferred connecting with small groups at the parties. In college, she leaned more onto weed which she feels helped with her sleep and anxiety issues. She met her now husband when she was 22. They were living in Australia for a time and up until this point Danielle was just smoking and drinking socially. Her husband was a daily drinker and Daneille started drinking wine when they would travel. After moving back home, they made friends with their neighbors and would spend time after work drinking with them. She was drinking at home, drinking with the neighbors, and drinking at the farm where she had her horse. Her life revolved around when and where she could drink but she typically only felt comfortable drinking at home with close friends. After a new job and a move to a smaller town, Danielle thought that the change in environment would help her cut back on her bad habits. She found the change isolated, and after her office closed, she was forced to work remotely. She and her husband were drinking earlier in the day. Throughout this time, they had good times but there began to be fights and behavior changes for both of them. Drinking was becoming less and less enjoyable and they found themselves talking more and more about what life would be like without alcohol. Her journey to recovery found her listening to podcasts and starting to write about what she wanted to get out of quitting drinking. After a while, they both decided to join Café RE. One day Daneille and her accountability partner were talking about journaling and came up with the idea of a writing course to share with the RE community. Danielle says that using that as a form of service really helped her with her own recovery. Danielle's unexpected positives of ditching the booze: losing the anxiety she had for many years. The community she has gained in recovery. Danielle's favorite resources in recovery: podcasts, quit lit, chats in the community, journaling. Danielle's parting piece of guidance: you can't shame yourself out of the addiction. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator You're the only one that can do this, but you don't have to do it alone. I love you guys.

Today we have Zach. He is 34 years old and lives in Richmond, VA. He took his last drink on July 18th, 2023. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [04:14] Thoughts from Paul: Today we are talking about change. Research suggests that only 9% of people that make New Years resolutions complete them. Many quit well before February even starts. The main reason that these resolutions fail is our energies swing all the way to one side of the spectrum. In other words, we are out of balance. With drinking, we find ourselves addicted to alcohol. Then the mind comes up with the idea that we need to not be addicted to alcohol, then we become addicted to the idea of not being addicted. This is equally out of balance. So that's the word I want to plant with you today as we begin the new year is balance. On our sobriety journey, we cannot fight, or go to battle with an alcohol addiction. So, in terms of quitting drinking and not going overboard in the theatre of war against yourself, let's keep it simple. All you have to today is one thing, that is not pick up a drink. Are we quitting for a lifetime? God no. That would be out of balance. We are only quitting for today. [10:36] Paul introduces Zach: Zach was originally from California but currently lives in Richmond, VA. He has two sons who live nearby with their mother. He is a technical writer for the federal government. He enjoys the gym and spending time outdoors. Zach grew up in a home where alcohol wasn't very present. He attended a small college where it wasn't very prevalent either. He took his first drink after finishing college and was a normal drinker throughout his 20's. Drinking didn't become a problem for Zach until he was laid off of a job and his mental health started suffering. He was processing things from childhood and started having panic attacks and his sleep was an issue. He started drinking to help him sleep but over time it progressed to a daily habit. Zach says he got a wake-up call when he and his wife split up. He was able to get a few months of sobriety, but he ended up back drinking after the divorce was finalized. He had relocated for a new job and didn't know anyone. He had too much free time to drink heavily when he wasn't spending time with his kids. Zach was drinking at work and ended up having a meeting with HR where he finally told someone he had a problem. While he felt relieved to share this, he still struggled to quit and eventually lost the job. After his lease was up, he moved out of state to stay with some friends that were going to help him get back on his feet. When he relapsed while the friends were out of town, Zach ended up trying Antabuse to help him quit drinking once and for all. He attended rehab and then went to sober living. After a while he decided he needed to move back closer to his kids and was able to find a place in Richmond with the help of a friend in recovery. Zach tried a few different recovery modalities, but AA ended up working best for him. He got a sponsor who he has spoken to every day since they met. His sponsor has helped him realize that he cannot return to drinking. Zach is starting to see the benefits of not drinking, both physically and mentally. Community has been vital to Zach and his recovery. Zach's favorite resources: an app called The Big Book, and the RE podcast while at the gym. Zach's strategy to beat a craving: a walk and a phone call. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.

Today we have Tana. She is 44 years old and lives in Washington State. She took her last drink on July 30th, 2020. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. Paul shares an article where scientists say the mystery of how red wine headaches occur may be solved. Paul's opinion is that it's a waste of time, but here's the link for curiosity's sake. [03:40] Thoughts from Paul: In 1935, A.A. Founder Bill W, found that when he shared his experience, strength and hope to another individual who was struggling with alcohol, then Bill magically had the strength to remain sober. It shows the universal law of "to give is to have". Today I give you the message of Merry Christmas. To plant the seed, that to give is to have. To have is to give. Most of us have learned a way, or path that didn't work. Or maybe it kind of worked but was or is incredibly painful. For me, this path required numbing agents, alcohol being the most potent one. Now I know there are a couple thousand of you who listen to this podcast first thing on Monday morning when the episodes are released. Fantastic. How blessed I am to get you ear first thing in the morning. Ask not what Santa, or your family can give to you, but ask what you can give to them. [00:00] Kris introduces Tana: Tana is from Washington state, and she works in healthcare and recently has found a new passion for teaching yoga. She has three children, two who have recently graduated college and a 10-year-old daughter. She recently separated from her husband. She enjoys backpacking, hiking, running and dance. Tana and her siblings were raised by her father who recently passed away. Their mother was an alcoholic, and Tana knew from an early age that she was suffering. Her exposure to alcohol was limited to family members drinking socially. When Tana was a teenager some home changes found her moving in with her mother. At this point she was exposed to her mother's addictions firsthand and over time it made her depressed and wanting to rebel, so she began smoking cigarettes, but not really drinking. She moved out at 17 to start her own life. After starting her own life, Tana had two children and got married. Over time she realized the relationship wasn't good, so she left and just focused on her kids. Her only addiction issues were the cigarettes which she went to great lengths to hide out of shame. A few years later, Tana remarried and when she was pregnant with her third child, she quit smoking, and her husband encouraged her to quit for good. Tana found running to be a good replacement for smoking, but after her daughter got older, she would no longer have time to run. Her drinking became her tool to cope. Tana started to feel shame about her drinking and questioning it. She started listening to podcasts and discovering books that she thought may help her break the cycle and become the best mom she could be. When AA didn't feel like a good fit, Tana found community in Café RE. She finally felt safe to be herself, make friends, attend meetups, and enjoys giving back to others. Tana's plan in recovery moving forward: keep learning and growing. Tana's parting piece of guidance: it's different for all of us. It takes what it takes and for each of us that looks a little different. Just don't give up – never quit quitting. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator You're the only one that can do this RE, but you don't have to do it alone. I love you guys.

Today we have Gill. She's 33 years old from Lexington, MA and took her last drink on November 9th, 2019. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. Update from Ryan H on episode 457 – "I'm going on two weeks now and I'm definitely starting to notice a difference in my mood, digestive issues and weight." [03:02] Intro: Paul shares two Instagram accounts that will help you on your sobriety journey: Drop the Bottle - all about sobriety and ditching the booze. A.L.A.D.D.I.N – not about sobriety, but it is entertaining and when it's creator shares his art with the world, it gives others permission to do the same. [08:22] Paul introduces Gill: Gill is 33 and lives right outside of Boston, MA. She has a husband and a cat. She loves playing video games, going to concerts and travelling. She teaches chemistry courses and labs at a college in Boston. She is also the host of the Sober Powered podcast. Gill says she didn't start drinking until grad school. She didn't have opportunities in high school because she was bullied and didn't hang out with people that drank. She started because she feared that if she didn't then no one would like her. Once she tried it a few times and got her first buzz, she enjoyed it so much it became a regular thing for her. Gill started having repercussions from drinking early on. She didn't know her limits, had frequent opportunities to drink and would end up getting sick and having blackouts. Gill thought all of this was normal and that everyone drank like her. Gill says that her performance in school started suffering and there was multiple drink fueled fights with her boyfriend (who is now her husband). Gill ended up leaving program and decided to start teaching instead. She learned that drinking helped with the stress she experienced while teaching. Over time she switched from wine to vodka to save money. Her tolerance increased, and she started struggling with hangovers at work. Trying to moderate and make rules around her drinking was frustrating for Gill. People didn't want her to quit and when she would bring it up others would downplay it and tell her she was fine. Gill's depression was getting worse, and she started waking up with uncontrollable anxiety often. Once she began having suicidal thoughts, she got scared. Gill decided to take a break for 90 days to lower her tolerance and thought she would be cured. During that time her suicidal thoughts and anxiety lessened. She completed the 90 days and started drinking again and the consequences quickly followed. After her last rule was compromised, she realized she had to accept that she had to let alcohol go indefinitely. While it was scary at first, Gill says she also felt a sense of peace. Gill didn't think she needed meetings when she first quit but doesn't recommend people try to do it alone. After the pandemic started, Gill found she had the time to go to therapy, she started listening to podcasts, and doing a lot of research on the science around alcohol addictions. She wanted to share what she had learned with others, so she started her own podcast: Sober Powered. Gill's advice for the holidays: you don't have to go to everything if you are worried that you're going to drink or that you can't stay sober, don't go. Gill's go-to tool to get past a craving: walking, rage walking. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator I love you guys. Go big because eventually we'll all go home.

Today we have Kerry. She's 40 years old from Williston, ND and took her last drink on January 7th, 2016. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. Shoutout to our Café RE chat hosts! Thank you for your dedication to the community, and for providing a space for us to share our experiences. You're the best! [01:29] Highlights from Kris: It's important that we surround ourselves with people who are going to enrich our lives. People who will meet us where we are, but also challenge us and encourage us to grow. Kris shares some examples of great friends he has in his life and shares an article that outlines Five Types of Friends – friends we need and need to be. Take a look at the people you have in your life. Do you think you have someone that fits in each of these categories? When was the last time you let them know what they mean to you? Use this as a reminder to tell someone you love them, and that you're grateful for them. If you find yourself today, feeling like YOU'RE alone, I promise you that you're not. You're people are out there. [10:15] Kris introduces Kerry: Kerry and her partner live in Williston, ND and are raising four kids. She recently decided she was going to become a firefighter which stemmed from being an EMT and a nurse. She enjoys spending time with the kids and they are currently rebuilding a boat. Kerry was exposed to alcohol throughout her childhood but didn't really have any great interest in it. She feels that she was a people pleaser and didn't want to get in trouble until senior year when she decided she could let loose and have some fun before going to college. She found alcohol gave her relief from the stressors in her life. Going into college she and her friends were party seekers. She had excelled so much academically that she felt she could relax and have fun and not worry about responsibilities. Her idea of an addict was her dad who wasn't obvious about it. She didn't have the consequences he did so she didn't feel she had any problems. When she was 19 her parents put her into rehab because of drug use. While she was there the counselors recognized that her bigger issue was drinking. Kerry didn't listen and continued to drink after leaving treatment. Kerry's parents got a divorce and she had moved back home. She used any excuse to drink to not deal with things. She was having consequences like DUIs and broken relationships. At the time Kerry was working with her mom at a family business where happy hours and daily drinking after work were part of the daily landscape. Looking for a change, Kerry a boyfriend moved to Alaska and started a family. The drinking slowed down, but after that relationship ended and they shared custody of the kids, Kerry found herself going back to drinking. After moving back to North Dakota, she continued to use drinking to self-medicate. People didn't realize it because she was so good at taking care of other people and being a problem solver. Over time the drinking was getting heavier and heavier, and Kerry tried to create parameters to control it. She tried quitting for a while but when she tested the waters again, she had consequences including another DUI where she realized she needed to get help to quit completely. She joined Lion Rock Recovery, which was all online, so she didn't need to leave her family for treatment. It helped her focus on the reason she drank and deal with her mental health and gave her tools to use after the program ended. Kerry's plan in recovery moving forward: keep learning, keep doing crazy things like firefighting and getting more involved with recovery service. Kerry's parting piece of guidance: there isn't a roadmap, and if one thing doesn't work, you can try another. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator We are the only ones that can do this RE, but we don't have to do it alone. I love you guys.

Now the Holidays have been coupled with alcohol for as long as the Earth has been orbiting the Sun. I'm kidding, that isn't correct, but you get the point. And if you're struggling with alcohol or trying to get sober, the holidays can be the ultimate challenge. This episode should help. In this Holiday Collab Episode, we've got Gill from the Sober Powered Podcast. Casey from the Hello Someday Podcast, and Veronica from the Soberful Podcast.

Today we have Spencer. He's 44 years old from Minneapolis, MN and took his last drink on September 23rd, 2023. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:04] Highlights from Paul: Start your day with a smile. It doesn't matter if the smile is fake or real. The body doesn't know the difference and the nervous system always responds positively with a smile. Smiling increases mood-enhancing hormones. Smiling releases endorphins, natural painkillers, and serotonin, while decreasing stress-enhancing hormones, including cortisol, and adrenaline. It also reduces overall blood pressure. Another reason to smile is that research shows that smiles are contagious. Most people will find a way to reciprocate in a friendly manner. Smiling is a way to be of service because it makes other people's days better. Spiritual teacher Thich Nhat Hanh has said "Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy." Start your day with a 30 -second smile. And not for just one day or two, but rock that smile every morning for the rest of this year and hopefully beyond. And don't forget to keep that smile going throughout the day. Paul shares some dad jokes to help get us started. [08:04] Paul introduces Spencer: Spencer grew up in Minneapolis area. He is married with two kids. He enjoys playing blues and rock on his guitar and spending time on the river with his family. Spencer has been an electrician for 23 years. Spencer says that alcohol was a big part of his family's life while he was growing up. Both of his parents drank, and every event was centered around alcohol. Spencer didn't try alcohol until he was around 15. He had a friend who's parent worked nights, so their house became a party house and drinking happened frequently. Spencer got married young and they both drank heavily. They had a daughter together and eventually they ended up getting a divorce. At the time Spencer blamed a lot of the issues on his ex. Once she moved out Spencer had some friends move in and says the drinking became daily and he was losing jobs. He eventually started having financial issues and lost his house. It was shortly after he started dating a woman that didn't drink like him that he realized that drinking might be a problem for him. He didn't really make any changes until the birth of his son when he began to try moderating and added rules around his drinking. Things were going well for Spencer and then he got a call from his son's mother that she was a heroin addict. He ended up having to get custody of him and knew he had to stop drinking for his son. He was able to quit for a while but gradually let drinking slip back in. Spencer was able to quit for a few years and started recognizing how big of an issue alcohol had been for him. He knew he wanted to quit but wasn't sure how he was going to be able to do it. New activities have replaced drinking for Spencer. He is working on his relationships with his kids and has been talking to them about alcohol and the issues within the family. Spencer is open about his sobriety with others. He listens to a lot of podcasts about addiction and enjoys online AA meetings and has plans to do the steps. Spencer knows how important connection will be going forward. Spencer's parting piece of guidance: If you think you have a problem, find someone that's sober to talk about it, listen to podcasts, get connected. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator Remember Rule 22, keep those smiles going. Lighten up. I love you guys.

Today we have Mike. He is 44 from Huntsville, AL and took his last drink on April 10th, 2023. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:42] Highlights from Paul: Paul shares how releasing his first album is a huge win for him and that the listeners are a big part of making it happen. Something commonly heard when people quit drinking is "what is going to fill the void?". We have to rediscover likes and interests. Part of the journey is trying out new hobbies. Sometimes it takes a while to find out what we like to do though, so be patient with your healing. If you want to hear the outro song and the full album under the name of Pablo Church, you can check it out on Spotify, or search your preferred music streaming service. What dreams, goals, aspirations, did you have that alcohol stifled like a wet soggy blanket. What did alcohol bump down on your list of personal goals? What do you want in life now that alcohol is no longer in the front seat? Take a moment to ponder these questions, maybe hit pause in this episode, put pen to paper and get clear on what you want. Paul and the RE community are here to help you make it happen. [07:18] Kris introduces Mike: Mike lives in Huntsville, AL and works in construction. He is married and they have five kids. He enjoys attending his kids' sporting events and being outside and active. Mike grew up in a conservative home. His father had a history of rebellion and his mother lost both parents to alcoholism when she was young, so they chose to keep alcohol out of the home. Mike first tried alcohol on New Year's Eve when he was in 8th grade while at a friend's house. He started to associate alcohol with having a good time but didn't drink much during high school even though his friends did. Mike was a people pleaser both at home and with his friends. He feels this tendency drove him to start drinking and smoking pot to fit in with everyone. Mike went to one semester of college and decided it wasn't for him. After some consequences from his drinking, he ended up moving back home and working construction. He was still drinking and smoking but trying to make better choices. When Mike met his wife, they decided to make some changes. They quit drinking and smoking and started becoming more active in the church community. When the job market started changing in Michigan, they moved to Alabama where Mike was offered a new job. After a while, Mike decided to quit his job and start his own construction business. That was going well but Mike found that managing the business instead of doing the labor was very different and more stressful. As time when on his drinking gradually increased and since everyone else was drinking, he could justify it. Over time he was drinking before, during and after work. His wife discovered the stash in his office and that's when Mike said he would quit. For a few months, he found himself hiding his drinking and trying to drink less, which didn't work. Mike eventually sought outpatient treatment and tried that for a while before his counselor told him he had to do more. Mike was resistant to trying AA but once he did he was able to start making some changes and getting help to stay sober. Mike's plan in sobriety moving forward: to make the most of the time he has left. Mike's parting piece of guidance: today is just a day and time takes time. Instagram - We regularly feature content here. Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator You're the only one that can do this, but you don't have to do it alone. I love you guys.

Today we have Ryan. He's 33 years old from Orange County, NY and took his last drink on September 24th, 2023. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. Happy Thanksgiving to all the listeners in the USA! Be sure to take some time this week and let the universe know what you are thankful for and remember a drink won't make your holiday any better. [02:42] Highlights from Paul: It's the last Q&A episode and today's question is from Darren in Tampa Bay who asks, "What if I can't quit drinking?" Paul shares that he could have asked this same question not that long ago and his message to Darren and others that maybe feeling this way is to keep moving forward, don't quit quitting, keep using the mind to build, to visualize your alcohol-free life. Accept it all, embrace the journey, and you will come out the other side. Paul rephrases the question to ask, "what if I can't quit drinking today?" and shares some thoughts and strategies to implement which include: - It isn't quitting for a lifetime, it's only for today and it gets easier. - Don't beat yourself up. People with drinking problems drink but on the flip side people with drinking problems quit every day. - Stick to the plan of seeking sobriety. "What you seek is seeking you". - For many, it is a journey, and it takes time for things to get into sync. You don't need to rush the process. Thank you, listeners, for all the questions! [10:44] Paul introduces Ryan: Ryan is on day 5 at the time of this recording. He is 33 years old and is engaged and has two stepchildren. He is a drummer and loves playing metal music and enjoys watching horror movies. Ryan's relationship with alcohol didn't begin until he was in his 20's. His drinking was mostly a few beers sporadically, but he quickly graduated to straight liquor. He started drinking regularly when he was about 23 to cope with stress and depression using alcohol as an escape. It was putting a strain on his relationship at the time, and she Ryan feels he was functional and kept his problem hidden well. There were no rock bottoms for him yet, he was just drowning his feelings and didn't feel a reason to stop. The industry he worked in found he and his coworkers drinking together after work frequently. Some severe pain in Ryan's hips and legs found him seeking medical attention. He went to a doctor who he has known for years, and they discovered that Ryan had AVN. This is a condition that doesn't happen to people in their 20's so Ryan shared his drinking habits with the doctor who connected the dots quickly. Ryan was able to quit drinking for two years with the help of Campral while he was in recovery from hip replacement surgery. He reflects this was a very positive time in his life. Even after he relapsed, there have been times of abstinence with the assistance of naltrexone but feels he wasn't working on the underlying issues that caused him to want to drink. Ryan has been trying to figure out his "why". His depression plays a role in it, he says, but it feels complex. He knows that all alcohol is causing several health issues, but he is working on harm reduction and learning more about what alcohol does to us. Ryan has the support of his fiancé, his friends and family and utilizes his music to help him cope now. Ryan's parting piece of guidance: if you think drinking is a problem for you, quitting can be done, it's not easy but it is simple. Incorporate medications, therapy and a support network. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.

Today we have Nathan. He's 42 years old and from Andover, MN and took his last drink on April 19th, 2023. [02:01] Highlights from Paul: Today's question is from Darren A. who asks, "Can you discuss resentment and letting go of resentment?" Life is a school where the people, places, and things are there to help us grow and become deeper human beings. The people we encounter in life are there to help us grow. The theory is that none of this is happening to you. Remember, that is how a victim speaks. Flip that to believe that everything that has ever happened to you in your life is happening for you, for your own personal growth and development, to make you a more resilient human being. Resentments are the teachers. Yes, they suck, they emotionally and physically hurt, but they are the opportunities for healthy and normal growth. Another strategy is to stop labeling things as good or bad. When a person, place or thing pisses you off, try to recognize the mind immediately slapping a label on it, try to remain open. We don't know what's going on behind the scenes. That person who may have recently dogged you may have actually shielded you from a tragedy down the road. "You can be right, or you can have peace." Paul shares this mantra with us frequently on the podcast. He tries to repeat this mantra when he encounters a difficult life challenge. We want to hear from the listener. How do you overcome resentments? Let us know in our Monday Instagram post on the Recovery Elevator Instagram page. [08:56] Kris introduces Nathan: Nathan is 42 and lives in Andover, MN. He works in financial operations but was recently laid off. He is in the process of going through a divorce and has two cats. He enjoys woodworking and building things with hand tools, he also enjoys golf, reading and occasionally writing. Nathan calls himself a late bloomer and hated beer. It was normal to have it around when he was growing up, but his dad drank NA beer. He was a casual drinker through his twenties and thirties. In late 2019 Nathan's wife was in a car accident related to some health issues. It was a very stressful time for them as his wife was unable to drive and undergoing a lot of testing and Nathan was dealing with a very stressful work project as well. Some health issues drove Nathan to use alcohol to ease his symptoms. His career was stressful, and he and his wife were having communication issues. Nathan didn't drink every day, but some days were binge sessions. He discovered the amount he could have without too many consequences the next day. After a weekend of binge drinking, Nathan had an experience that felt like he was having a heart attack, and he went to the ER where he realized alcohol was causing the problems. Soon after he was able to admit to his wife that he needed to stop. He went back to the ER and told them that he needed help. After detox, Nathan enrolled in an IOP and connected with a great counselor. It took a few months for Nathan to start feeling physically better and is currently confronting some difficult life situations. He plays the tape forward and continues to work on his recovery despite the strong emotions he is dealing with. Nathan's favorite resources in recovery: his IOP counselor, the RE podcast and Café RE. Nathan's parting piece of guidance: make a plan (to avoid relapse), make it really detailed and change it as you need to. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator You're the only one that can do this, but you don't have to do it alone. I love you guys.

Today we have Chris. He is 40 years old and lives in Austin, TX. He took his last drink on February 16th, 2007. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:16] Highlights from Paul: Today is episode 9 out of 10 in the Q&A series. Today's question comes from Krista B, in our Café RE group. She says: "How Paul is feeling about ayahuasca and other plant medicines. Are you still as passionate about its benefits today as a few years ago? Has the treatment worked in a sustained way, in your opinion?" Paul shared his initial experience with ayahuasca in episode 170. He believes that plant medicines have a place in the world of addiction and mental health. Do not buy it on the internet and try it solo; set and setting is everything. There is so much preparation that needs to go into an ayahuasca ceremony and under the right circumstances, it will answer many questions. A big one being why you drink. Paul shares how ayahuasca still impacts his everyday life. While Paul found plant medicine helpful on his journey, he recognizes it's not for everyone, nor does he think everyone should try plant medicine. If you are interested, please do your own research before trying it. [11:59] Paul introduces Chris: Chris lives in Austin Texas; he is married with two children aged 8 and 9. He is an entrepreneur and enjoys being creative through many avenues. Chris always felt like an outsider that didn't belong while he was growing up. His parents divorced when he was young, and he blamed himself and ended up distancing himself from people. He craved connections and ended up starting drinking with a group of friends. Chris felt like alcohol was the solution to his feelings of not belonging. His drinking increased and over time he lost all those connections that he used alcohol to find and was drinking alone. At age 23 he went to treatment where they helped him recognize that he had some mental health issues, the main ones being social anxiety and depression. Some alumni from the group accepted Chris, helped him go to meetings and then they would all socialize afterwards. He finally felt he was making connections that he had craved all his life. Seeing people that were staying sober and succeeding was a big boost to Chris' confidence, and he felt like it was possible for him to do the same. His life in sobriety was becoming so great that he never had a desire to go back to drinking. Chris started going to school to become a counselor and immediately started working in the recovery field. He knew it was important to maintain and strengthen his recovery to do the job successfully. Chris started Sans Bar in 2018 as a pop-up bar when there were very few options in the alcohol-free arena. The pop-ups grew, and more and more people were interested in what Chris was doing, mostly through word of mouth. He feels it came along at the right time as the sober curious movement was beginning. Chris says doing this gave him the same feelings that his first sip of booze did – he was forming connections. He feels Sans Bar is for everyone, not just people in recovery. Chris's favorite resources in recovery: The Luckiest Club, 12 step programs, podcasts. Chris's parting piece of guidance: you can't fail. The point of sobriety is not abstinence, it's growth. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.

Today we have Kristan. She is 60 years old and lives in Delaware. She took her last drink on June 3rd, 2019. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [01:34] Highlights from Kris: Today we are continuing the Q & A series and it's a two for one. First question, Dale wants to know "How can I do more in my recovery community?" Some traditional responses to this question might AA, or any other group with the word recovery in it. These are great, but Kris shares that we can expand our view to other groups. Church groups, book club, a running club, or a workout group. Sharing can be a great way to get involved within a recovery community. Hearing others share and be vulnerable encourages us to share and be vulnerable too. By being open, you are being of service in your recovery. You never know who you may be helping with your share. Think of the things that you bring to the table, and what you'd like to see your community offer. It could be as simple as organizing an outing to have a meal with other local members or hosting a chat in your online community. Listen to your heart. If you feel that tug to do something, be obedient to that. We have no idea how it could impact our lives, or the lives of other people. [09:25]: Kris introduces Kristan: Kristan is married and has adult kids, she enjoys traveling, participating in triathlons, and hanging out with her sober friends doing fun activities. Kristan grew up in Louisiana and started drinking when she was 12 and partied throughout high school. She graduated from college and moved to Australia for a few years. She moved to DC when she came back and worked as a reporter while enjoying the nightlife. Kristan says that in her profession, drinking was very common, and she surrounded herself with people that drank a lot. Later when she bought a house in Delaware, her and her husband split time between home and DC which left Kristan with a lot of time alone. She started putting rules around her drinking early on which found her frustrated. Her husband doesn't drink which made her feel like she was being monitored. Kristan never drank during the day but found herself drinking daily at 5pm. Her problem wasn't obvious to her because she was successful and hadn't lost anything (yet). Kristan's drinking came to a head after a long night of drinking with friends where she doesn't remember the last few hours. She woke up to a text from her daughter stating that she was concerned about her drinking. Kristan decided it was time to quit. A phone call to family member in recovery helped her take the first steps. A few days later she told husband she quit drinking. She started regularly attending AA and got a sponsor, began reading books about recovery and enjoyed listening to podcasts. Kristan was eager to celebrate all of life's events sober. She says she has a great group of friends that are still fun in sobriety. After quitting, Kristan realizes how much mind space drinking took up. She says the first year was difficult, but she got stronger as she went. Kristan loves being sober. Her relationships with her daughter and husband are the best they have ever been. Kristan's future plan in sobriety: working on her emotional sobriety. Kristan's parting piece of guidance: give it a year, surround yourself with sober people. [54:15] Kris answers Bobbie the Awesome's question regarding NA beverages and shares some personal experiences. Choosing whether to drink them or not is a very personal decision. It's up to you to decide what's right for you, and it's a good idea to err on the side of caution if you are nervous about it. Instagram - We regularly feature content here. Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator We're the only ones that can do this, but we don't have to do it alone. I love you guys.

Today we have Andy. He is 46 from Washington, DC and took his last drink on August 12th, 2023. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:17] Highlights from Paul: Today's question is from Liz in the Café RE OG group: "How Would You Describe a "Spiritual Experience" in Recovery? Was it a Bill W. "White Light" or a long series of little twinkles? Somewhere in between? Something else altogether?" We all know there is no right or wrong way to quit drinking, but Paul believes the spirituality component is important, because it connects or reconnects you to the universe or a god of your understanding. For many, a large twinkle of spirituality took place took place near the date of their last drink. Some call this a window of clarity. I've heard it been described as "I just knew it was going to be different this time." Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung called them synchronicities or the breadcrumbs of life. Everyone's version of spiritual awakening will be different. We just need to be open to the twinkles that can happen all around us. [11:53]: Paul introduces Andy: Andy took his last drink less than a week before the time of this recording. Andy has moved around a bit while being in the military but currently lives in DC. He is an officer in the Air Force and has been serving for 26 years. He is married and has four kids. He enjoys ultra marathons, gardening, and traveling with his family. Andy grew up around a lot of drinking in the small town he lived in. There was always beer in the house, and he feels it was ingrained in his life. He had his first drink in 8th grade. It was on a grueling camping trip when one of the adults handed him a bottle of booze and told him it would take the edge off. He really enjoyed the feelings he got from it. Andy did well in school both academically and athletically, but the drinking continued. After graduating college, he enlisted in the military. He would stay sober during brief deployments but would start drinking again as soon as he came home. He struggled with missing his military family more than his wife and kids at home. Andy had an opportunity to work at the Embassy in Croatia, so they moved. After a few years Andy and his wife split up and his drinking was out of control. He ended up moving back to the US as a single dad. He was not being as productive at work due to his drinking and often used his being a single dad as an excuse. Andy was able to get sober few times after asking for help. First from a very close friend after a major bout of anxiety and then at another time post relapse from a doctor when he originally went to see them for a sore throat. He says that during these experiences, he felt relief. He started going to AA and stopped fighting that he was unable to casually drink. His wife would attend meetings with him for support. Andy got a very patient sponsor who helped him through the steps. Life started improving a lot for him over this time. After a relapse last Christmas, Andy fell right back into the cycle and was even hiding alcohol again. He considers the five years he had as part of his recovery and plans to get back into AA when he feels ready. He misses how he felt and wants it back. Andy plans to get back to good habits to help him stay sober, reading books, listening to podcasts, and sharing with his wife. Andy's favorite resources in recovery: RE podcast, reading, finding someone you can trust to talk to daily. Andy's parting piece of guidance: hold onto this moment and don't look too far ahead or too far in the past. Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator We're the only ones that can do this, but we don't have to do it alone. I love you guys.

Today we have Emilee. She is 33 from Double Springs, AL and has been alcohol free since February 26th, 2023. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:55] Highlights from Paul: Today's question is from Dale: How do I stop comparing myself to others in Recovery? This is a BIG PICTURE question. An issue that probably didn't arise when you quit drinking. I'm guessing this is something you have been doing for quite some time. Part of this is healthy. You'll want to model your sobriety after someone who seems to have done the work, or who has what you want. You'll want to compare parts of your journey with theirs… But the key is not to have it consume you. Paul shares his thoughts on this topic and reminds us that comparison is all part of the human condition and to know that when one person blooms, we all receive the benefit. [10:30]: Kris introduces Emilee: Emilee is 33 from Double Springs, AL. She is married and they have one daughter together. For work, she is a high school algebra teacher and for fun she enjoys doing outdoor activities including hunting and fishing and she also enjoys playing the piano, working out and cooking. While growing up, Emilee didn't have much exposure to alcohol. She says she was always shy growing up and it wasn't until she was 19 that a boyfriend introduced her to a group of friends that drank a lot. In that environment, she discovered a different version of herself that was much more outgoing. This went on for a few months, but her drinking decreased for about a year before she went to college. Emilee managed to keep with her studies but when she drank it was always to excess. She was home for the summer when her father suddenly passed away. She had to go back to school very soon after it happened and while she didn't drink to cope with it, she had a lot of anxiety and was just going through the motions. After graduating from college, Emilee got married and then got her first teaching job all in a short period of time. While the first year of her new career was very stressful, Emilee started a routine of getting alcohol on the way home from work and drinking throughout the evening. Her husband was also drinking and after a while they both started putting parameters on it. They eventually tried to quit, but that didn't last, and Emilee started finding herself hiding her drinking and preferring drinking alone. While pregnant, Emilee was able to stop drinking. She remained sober for a few months after having her daughter, but gradually started going back to her old habits. Emilee says she never really dealt with her father's death so her emotions would come up a lot when she would get drunk. Emilee started feeling the pull to quit drinking. She got a bunch of books and was able to stop for a few days at a time. Listening to the RE podcast would often keep her from stopping at the store for alcohol. Learning the science of what alcohol does to our bodies also helped her quit. Since quitting drinking Emilee feels that her relationships have improved. Emilee's favorite resources in recovery: RE podcast and Café RE. Emilee's parting piece of guidance: don't quit quitting. Instagram - We regularly feature content here – often with goats! Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator We're the only ones that can do this, but we don't have to do it alone. I love you guys.

Today we have Grant. He is 54 from Sacramento, CA and took his last drink on August 10th, 2020. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:16] Highlights from Paul: We are five weeks into our Q & A series. This week's question comes from Sarah C. "What can you say to someone, so they don't drink?" Or how to help someone not drink. Paul gives us some tried and true methods that work and strategies that the Recovery Elevator team believe in. Here are a few suggestions that Paul shares with us: Tough love does not work, so a tone or stance of unconditional love needs to be present when confronting a friend who is about to drink. Quick note about boundaries. Talking with people that are drunk can be triggering, and little can be done. Ask them to call you in the morning or when they are sober. Being there with your presence, whether it is in person, via the phone or FaceTime, or Zoom, is the best thing you can do to help them. Holding space provides a safe container for the person to feel the feels, sit front and center with a craving and not feel judged or criticized. You can also ask them about their "why". Having them be clear on their "why" again is never a bad idea. You can also remind them that alcohol has been ruined. Drinking while knowing that alcohol no longer has a place in your life isn't fun. [10:48]: Paul introduces Grant: Grant is 54 and lives in Sacramento, CA. He is married and they have two young adult kids. He enjoys hiking and the area he lives in has a lot of nice places he explores. Grant works in research and public policy work in California and now focuses on addiction and recovery. Grant says his first experience with alcohol was when he was 12. A friend had procured a bottle of brandy and they both ended up drinking to the point of going to the hospital. He drank through junior high and high school with a group of friends on weekends. The drinking continued in college, and he started trying other substances as well. Grant says there weren't many consequences. When Grant was in his 30's after they had children, he found that alcohol helped him take the stress off. He quickly switched from beer to vodka that was easier to hide. He was succeeding at work which stressed him out more than he realized. He says it took some time but eventually he was drinking in the morning just to feel normal. In 2019 someone from HR confronted Grant about smelling of alcohol and he told them that he was an alcoholic. He couldn't admit it to his wife initially but started looking for outpatient treatment. He was able to quit for a time but relapsed after a painful experience with work which found him resigning and taking a new job with a pay cut. At this point Grant had joined Café RE and left home for a little while to live in a sober living house. He learned a lot while he was there and realized that he was going to have to do things differently. After sober living, Grant started a home breathalyzer program to help him stay motivated. A meetup with fellow Café RE members gave Grant another turning point and realized that he was on the right path. In recovery, Grant started volunteering with a non-profit in the addiction and recovery field. He also started listening to another recovery podcast where he shared information about addiction and recovery. He left to work for the non-profit called Shatterproof which helps people find treatment and recovery with their Treatment Atlas. Grant also has his own website about addiction and recovery – Sober Linings Playbook. [53:19] Paul closes the episode with a poem from Peter, a Café RE member. Instagram - We regularly feature content here – often with goats! Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.

Today we have Sarah. She is 46 and lives in Buckhannon, WV. Sarah has been alcohol free since December 15, 2022. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:23] Highlights from Paul: We are four weeks into our ten-episode Q & A series and today's question is "what are alcohol withdrawals like in the first week?" This question as asked by Robyn in Café RE Blue. The answer to this is going to depend on how much you drink on a daily or nightly basis and it's not a one size fits all answer. I highly recommend detoxing under medical supervised care if you consume more than 6-8 drinks daily and have been doing so for several months or years. Quitting cold turkey can be life threatening. 72 hours is the magic number. Once you hit this number, the worst of the physical components are behind you. Paul shares some tips for navigating the first week and shares some of the changes our bodies go through. The whole withdrawal process from one week to several months has a term called PAWS or post-acute withdrawal symptoms. Check out the YouTube video Paul did about this. Thank you, Robyn, for the question, if you want a question answered on the podcast, send your questions to [email protected]. [13:41]: Kris introduces Sarah: Sarah currently lives in West Virginia, works in higher learning, and has two daughters and three stepchildren. For fun Sarah enjoys arts and crafts, DIY things, and enjoys plants. In high school, Sarah did not drink but grew up around a lot of drinking by her extended family. She never saw anything negative about it. In her early twenties she joined the Air Force where drinking is prevalent. At one point she had a few friends approach her about her drinking to which Sarah took offense. Over the course of the next several years she continued to drink the same way. Despite small consequences, she didn't feel like she had a problem. Around 10 years ago she and her husband were in counseling. She stated in a session that she needed some help and went to rehab after which she was able to stay sober briefly. Sarah says she got a lot out of her time in rehab. For a short period of time Sarah was able to drink moderately, but it increased after a series of negative life events. She started noticing the negative side effects of heavy drinking physically and emotionally. When Sarah got sober this time, she knew she needed to join a community, and someone recommended Café RE to her. She has made great friends since being there and feels like this time in sobriety has been easy and she earned for it to be. Sarah's plan for recovery moving forward: to keep doing the work, attend more chats and start thinking about how to serve others. Sarah's parting piece of guidance: talk about it and reach out with others that have similar experiences. [59:20] Kris' closing: Fall is here and Kris is ready for it. He reminds us all to get out there and play. Do all the fall things. Slow down, take a breath, and enjoy the moment you are in. Instagram - We regularly feature content here – often with goats! Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes You're the only ones that can do this RE, but you don't have to do it alone. I love you guys.

Today we have Santino. He is 35 from Taunton, MA and took his last drink on May 24th, 2022. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [03:05] Highlights from Paul: Today's question comes from Kelly in our Café RE Up Group. The question is "how do you make it through your first sober concert?" The first of eight fantastic tips include giving yourself a little alcohol-free time before going to a concert. Once you've got some time under your belt, and the cravings are in check, then you can hit the green light on concerts. Regardless of how many days you have, if you are feeling squirrely the dray of the concert then sit it out. Sobriety is the priority. Paul then shares several tips to include: - Always have a non-alcoholic beverage in hand. - Do not volunteer to be the DD. - Make sure everyone you are attending with knows your intentions. Some of the best parts about sober concerts? You will remember it. You will save money. You won't get a DUI on the drive home. [10:14]: Paul introduces Santino: Santino is a repeat guest and has maintained his sobriety since his last appearance on episode 397 where he was on day 43. Santino is married and has one son. For fun, he loves going outside in nature to go hiking and go to the beach, but he also says that there is fun in everything since quitting drinking. Santino had his first drink as a young teen. His mom was a single parent for a while, and he feels that he may have started drinking because the absence of his father bothered him. He learned that alcohol became a friend to him, and he feels like he used it for connection with his father and in contrast, to disconnect from her mother. Santino joined the Air Force out of high school and found alcohol to be part of the culture. Between his early 20s and his early 30s he started deliberately planning his drinking to include before going out and drinking alone. Santino says he used a lot of rationalization that he wasn't as bad as other people when it came to how he drank. He often pushed off having to think about it. There wasn't much hiding it from his spouse initially because they both drank. His hiding became more intentional as time went on, specifically after his son was born and during the pandemic. He found himself being sneakier about it. Santino started struggling with mood swings and being less communicative and didn't want to address the fact that he needed help to quit drinking. He started to realize that this was going to destroy his family and he needed to rip the band aid off and address it. Once he addressed it with his wife, he felt freedom but was also worried about the process. In the early days of his recovery, Santino and his wife began counseling to work on rebuilding their relationship. Santino also found that he started to feel healthier in general, was getting better sleep and did not miss the hangovers at all. Santino has been able to save money which assisted him with paying off some credit card debt he incurred while drinking. As a parent, he feels more centered and present with his son. He attends AA frequently, listens to podcasts, and surrounds himself with others in recovery. Santino's parting piece of guidance: give yourself grace in all the moments that you feel that you don't even deserve it. Instagram - We regularly feature content here – often with goats! Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.

Today we have Jen. She is 48 from Boulder, CO and took her last drink on May 12th, 2021. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:48] Highlights from Kris: Today's question comes from Dale in Virginia. He wants to know "how do I learn to let go of things, and stop trying to control?" Kris feels that two themes that come up over and over in recovery are surrender and acceptance. He says there are different types of control and while some of it is normal and can be healthy, trying to control things such as other people and how they feel about us is not healthy. Kris shares his insights about this topic and shares with us: "when I have unrest on the inside, it presents itself on the outside. When I find that inner peace, I can extend it to the world around me". [11:50]: Kris welcomes Jen: Jen joins us from Boulder, CO area and recently celebrated two years alcohol free. She is married and they have two kids and a dog. For fun Jen likes to be active outdoors and spending time with recovery friends nearby, fabric arts and yoga. Jen didn't drink when she was young because she learned that some family members quit drinking because they couldn't control it. She drank very casually because she didn't want to develop a problem, but over time peer pressure found her drinking more frequently. In grad school there was more binge drinking and hangovers. She and her husband drank only socially prior to having kids. Jen went back to work shortly after having her first child and realized that she was missing out on a lot, so she became a stay-at-home mom. She bought boxed wine to try and save money and discovered it was too easy to refill the glass. Jen wanted to be a fun mom and used alcohol to feel less bored. Over time Jen started finding herself drinking after everyone went to bed. After a situation that found both her husband and children concerned about her, Jen started to try quitting drinking. She had already been reading quit lit and listening to podcasts. She was able to make it over 100 days but decided to attempt moderation. She found that after a while the attempts to control how much she drank became frustrating. One day while listening to a podcast episode, she had a moment of clarity where she knew she had to quit drinking for good. Jen feels that her husband quitting drinking shined a light on her drinking. She would make excuses to have drinks outside of the home. Jen quit drinking the day after her birthday. She decided to join Café RE and started going on hikes with fellow RE members, hosting chats and giving back to the community. Jen finds "playing the tape forward" very helpful in addition to listening to herself and discovering what she needs. She enjoys reading self-help books instead of quit lit. Finding connections with other people and creating deep friendships was an unexpected perk Jen received in recovery. Jen's plan for recovery moving forward: working on her spiritual and self-discovery practice. Jen's parting piece of guidance: "play it forward" it is one tool that has never wavered for her. Keep your mind open and try a variety of things for your recovery. [01:03:47] Kris' outro: Kris shares a story about a recent vacation with his family and how it relates to his expectations and control. Instagram - We regularly feature content here – often with goats! Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we'll all go home. I love you guys.

Today we have Stephanie. She is 35 from and took her last drink on December 31st, 2022 Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:43] Highlights from Paul: Paul and Kris are going to be doing a ten-part intro series where we answer questions from listeners. If you have a question that you'd like us to answer on the air, send them to [email protected]. Paul shares one of his biggest regrets since starting the podcast and also answers the first question from Brady in South Denver. He asked, "can you be addicted to alcohol and not be an alcoholic?" Paul begins his answer with "The Answer is yes. And no. And a little bit of yes, and little bit of No. Welcome to a world full of paradoxes." Next week we will hear Kris answer the next question: "How do I learn to let go of things and stop trying to control?". [09:23]: Paul introduces Stephanie: Stephanie is 35 and she is from Connecticut, currently living in Washington State. She works as an accountant and as a server at a restaurant. She has one son and a dog. Stephanie enjoys reading both for fun and for a podcast she has: So, What Are You Reading?, and she has recently picked up paddleboarding. Stephanie had her first drink when she was 16 and had a bad experience and said she wasn't going to do it again. She drank very sporadically until she moved to Washington with her son's father. After they broke up, she moved into an apartment on her own and felt like alcohol was her only friend. She progressed from wine to harder alcohol over time and began to try and put parameters on her drinking. After a while, Stephanie realized that drinking wasn't what she was supposed to be doing. She started recognizing that she wasn't present for her son. Her anxiety was terrible, and she had issues with remembering things from the night before which made it worse. But Stephanie says she enjoyed the chaos that came with the drinking escapades, even though it was making her life harder than it needed to be. She got to the point that she didn't want to do anything. When Stephanie's current boyfriend did a Dry January in 2021, Stephanie joined him but says she white knuckled through it and drank as soon as February 1st came. That was when she started questioning what the point of drinking was. She had some very negative events in her last year of drinking to the point that on January 1st, 2023, she decided enough was enough. During the first 30 days she binged on podcasts and YouTube videos. She started journalling, doing puzzles and playing board games with her son. Stephanie has been able to get into grad school, is able to plan vacations and try a lot of new things. Reading, exercise, and time outdoors have become very important to Stephanie. Stephanie's favorite resources: The Sober Café (Facebook group), Recovery Elevator and other recovery podcasts, Stephanie's parting piece of guidance: if alcohol is impacting you in a negative way just take it out for 100 days. [49:27] Closing thoughts: If you're not ready to quit drinking, none of the information we covered today is going to land, if you are ready, it doesn't matter what we cover. Focus on the similarities and not the differences. Instagram - We regularly feature content here – often with goats! Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator I love you guys. All is fine, and all will be well.

Today we have Jonathan. He is 44 from Grand Forks, ND and took his last drink on May 17th, 2008. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [02:24] Highlights from Paul: Straying from the sometimes-complex intros, Paul urges us to go easy on ourselves. Despite all of our agricultural, scientific, and technological innovations, this is the hardest time it has ever been to be a human being. Rates of addiction and overdoses are soaring. Dr. Gabor Mate's book The Myth of Normal shows how our out of balance culture is creating mountains of unrest and disease. Life is already a challenge and living in the modern world without substances to slow down the prefrontal cortex, it is even harder. Go easy on yourself. Life is going to kick your ass at some time or another. Don't let that Bruno voice in the head make it any worse. Once that voice starts chirping about how you should have done XYZ differently, and how you're doomed for eternity, locate the true you and tell that Bruno voice to step aside, and you'll take it from here. Be sure to start your day with words of compassion. Compassion for you, those nearest to you, the animals outside your window, and for those who are still struggling with alcohol. [8:11]: Kris introduces Jonathan: Jonathan is 44 years old and lives in Grand Forks, ND. He has worked in the restaurant industry most of his life and is also the managing director for the office of Recovery Reinvented. For fun Jonathan likes to spend time outside and cook. He is married and they have three daughters. Jonathan says he had a good childhood with a lot of parental support. He feels like his exposure to alcohol as a teenager was normal. He says drinking never got in the way of his grades or playing sports. While in college Jonathan started working in bars and restaurants where drinking is part of the culture. His drinking increased and he ended up dropping out of school. Jonathan realized early on that his drinking looked different from his peers. He witnessed others being able to stop with a few drinks after work whereas he would just go to the next bar or go home and keep the party going. He didn't think he was drinking to mask anything, so he didn't have a problem, he just really enjoyed drinking. While Jonathan was doing well in his career, his drinking increased. He opened his first restaurant when he was 27 and was very successful. People were starting to tell Jonathan that he should cut back but he struggled to do so. Jonathan had a meeting with his business partner and his father where he was told that things needed to change, or the partnership was going to end. This is what it took for Jonathan to seek treatment. He went to inpatient treatment for 30 days. While there he went from feeling like this was a temporary change to realizing that he needed it to be long term. He started seeing the similarities with others instead of the differences. Jonathan completed 30 days and continued with outpatient treatment. He made the decision to be transparent with his recovery. He feels that helped him stay accountable and sober. Jonathan's favorite resource in recovery: I Am Sober app (he likes seeing how much money he has saved). Jonathan's parting piece of guidance: "Everything that is good in my life today is in my life because alcohol is not." Recovery Reinvented Instagram - We regularly feature content here – often with goats! Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down, we have to take the stairs back up You can do this. I love you guys.

Today we have Cindy. She is 54 from Kure Beach, NC and took her last drink on March 2nd, 2023. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. [03:23] Highlights from Paul: After recently watching a social media video featuring a sober influencer dancing, Paul decided to challenge this individual to a breakdancing battle. Meanwhile another sober influencer viewing this video stated that watching this video made him want to drink. Let's zoom out for a second. The Tik Tok user, with millions of followers, said that watching videos of this person dancing - made them want to drink. To summarize that in two words it would be: Stop Dancing. Then we have Paul who challenges this person to a sober break dance battle. We can summarize this statement in two words: Keep dancing. So, listeners, keep on dancing, and never stop. If you don't know your metaphorical or literal dance steps, stick around. The knowledge will return. If someone tells you that your dancing makes them want to drink, then that is 100% their problem. When you dance, it gives others permission to dance. You don't need alcohol, it won't make you better, and you'll remember all of it. [08:52] Paul introduces Cindy: Cindy is 54, grew up in Maryland but currently lives in North Carolina. She has been married for 23 years and they have two children and a dog. She works as an operating room nurse and recently got a master's degree. Cindy recalls first having alcohol late in high school. She was very social throughout college and enjoyed drinking a lot. She traveled a lot after college and knows that she drank but didn't have any major consequences. Cindy says she and her husband drank but she doesn't recall it affecting her life much. Happy Hour after work was very common for her due to the stressful job she has. Even after an incident where she was able to get out of a DUI, she still didn't recognize that she had a problem. The drinking increased but Cindy always thought it was her husband that had the problem, not her. There were no attempts to moderate and no consequences, so the drinking continued. Cindy started wondering why she wasn't happy because she had a good life. Since she felt it was her husband that had the issue, Cindy started attending Al-Anon. When she returned from a travel nursing job, she realized how terrible she was feeling. She had been drinking every night, driving drunk often, and started having some consequences. Soon she found herself in an AA meeting where she had what she considers an awakening of sorts. She felt like she had found people that understood her. Earlier this year, a podcast episode Cindy was listening spoke of living an authentic life. This really resonated with her, and she realized alcohol had to go. She started attending AA regularly after her last drink and is learning to deal with her feelings and learning from them. Cindy utilizes many tools to process how she feels and knows that alcohol is not the answer. Cindy's favorite resources in recovery: recovery podcasts, being active in AA Cindy's parting piece of guidance: If you are contemplating stopping drinking, think about why you are drinking. Instagram - We regularly feature content here – often with goats! Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator I love you guys. Go big, keep dancing, because eventually we'll all go home.

Today we have Chad. He is 51 from Southern Indiana and took his last drink on March 25th, 2022. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. Follow Recovery Elevator on Instagram! We're starting to put more video content on the platform so check it out. [02:47] Highlights from Paul: Something heard often while interviewing guests is "you don't know what it's like to grow up in Wisconsin, Texas, in Las Vegas, in Trenton, New Jersey, or you don't know how much we drink in…" fill in the blank. So yes, it is ubiquitous, but there is a front runner. Check out the full list and see where your state ranks: Alcohol Consumption by State In 2012 British researcher Dr. David Nutt was tasked by the government to put harm scores on 20 of the world's most harmful drug. Alcohol came in at #1 beating out crack, heroin, meth and cocaine. Paul shares some stats about the costs of alcohol use disorder in Montana. You can see stats for all of the US here: Alcohol Abuse Statistics Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [11:48] Kris introduces Chad: Chad has been sober for a little over 15 months at the time of this recording. He is 51 and lives in a small town in Indiana. Chad is married, and they have three children. He works for the government. He enjoys talking recovery, umpiring softball, and cycling. Chad's parents divorced when he was young. He never felt like he fit in at either of his parents' homes and was a people pleaser doing whatever he could to fit in. Chad moved in with his dad when he was 13. After an ankle injury he was sidelined from sports, and he ended up finding a new group of friends that dabbled in drugs and alcohol. He says he struggled through high school and was looking at the military instead of going to college. He was looking forward to having some structure that he didn't feel he had growing up between two households. After graduating, Chad spent the summer partying and started basic training in August. He was sent to Germany after more training, and they drank a lot there. He started to notice that he needed to drink just to feel normal. He ended up leaving after one deployment and realized the military wasn't for him. Chad left the military and went into construction work. He and his wife hadn't married yet, but she was pregnant, which was frowned upon by her family. Four years after having their daughter they got married and while they got a house together and continued to grow the family, Chad drank to deal with his stressors. It got to the point where Chad couldn't do anything without a drink in his hand. He says drinking took a front seat to everything else. On days when he could not drink, he was starting to have symptoms of withdrawal. He began to hide alcohol and his tolerance grew. After a bad blackout and confrontation with his wife, he felt terrible and realized that he needed help. His wife encouraged him to seek inpatient treatment which is what Chad was hoping for. With his wife's support he found a rehab that helped him a lot. He was able to talk to therapists and realize that he wasn't alone. After 30 days in rehab, Chad started AA, started reading more books about recovery and has found Zoom meetings and listening to the RE podcast very helpful. Chad's plan for recovery moving forward: Dig deeper into his recovery and be of service. Chad's parting piece of guidance: A life worth living can be found in sobriety. You're worth it, give yourself a chance. "No" is a full answer. Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes We're the only ones that can do this RE, but we don't have to do it alone. I love you guys.

Episode 443 - A Different Type of Alcoholic Today we have Kelly, she is 46 from Minneapolis, MN and took her last drink on June 18th, 2023. Join us Saturday August 26th in Boston, MA for a day of service in collaboration with The Phoenix. Learn more about the event here. Check out our sponsor Go Brewing. Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off. [02:57] Highlights from Paul: When saying the word "alcoholic", these images, and thoughts commonly come to mind: Living under a Bridge. Brown paper bag. Homeless. Hopeless. Unemployed. Some of this is accurate but studies show only 5% of alcoholics fit these descriptions. The other 95% are high functioning, tend to be high earners, more educated, are healthier and have more stable relationships than average. With the estimated 452 million alcoholics that don't fit the stereotypical description of an alcoholic, this takes the saying you are not alone to a new level. We justify or benchmark our drinking according to what an alcoholic looks like. I'm not that bad, I have a job, and money in the bank. We surround ourselves with other drinkers who don't fit the alcoholic stereotype to solidify our own positions on the addiction scale. Now a classic trait of an addiction is that we are blind to where we actually are with the addiction process. The hole you find yourself in is probably deeper than you think. My recommendation is to stop digging. You CAN put the shovel down. Another classic trait of an addiction is the progression. We have 452 million alcoholics on the globe who are not living under a bridge or drinking out of brown paper bag yet. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [09:30] Paul introduces Kelly: Kelly took her last drink on June 18th, 2023, and has 6 days at the time of this recording. She is 46 and lives in Minneapolis. She leads software development teams for a living. Kelly loves the outdoors and enjoys running, hiking, and paddleboarding. She enjoys movies, music, and museums as well. Kelly first tried alcohol at a party in 9th grade. Drinking was not something that she wanted to do but she succumbed to peer pressure. A year later she started spending time visiting her brother at college, and she enjoyed hanging out with him and his friends and started drinking more frequently. It was a good escape from the abuse she was dealing with at home. In college Kelly was drinking and dealing with an eating disorder. She worked hard to overcome her bulimia but then her drinking ramped up after that. After college she married a fellow engineer, and they would drink heavily together. After they started having children and settling down, her husband was able to quit the excessive drinking, but Kelly was not. While raising her children, Kelly was able to cut back on drinking and started putting rules around it. Her relationship wasn't going well, and Kelly was going out more frequently and drinking almost daily. After a few drinking and driving charges, Kelly began to realize that she could no longer control it. Over time she recognized that she was starting to isolate more and then would go out to bars to find connection with other people. Kelly has been able to have more gaps in drinking days over time and has been acquiring tools throughout the process. She is recognizing that she needs to treat her sobriety like a baby and nurture it daily. Each morning she meditates and uses the Reframe app. She attends AA meetings frequently and has recently found a therapist to help her with her childhood trauma. Kelly's plan for recovery moving forward: keep doing things that make her feel uncomfortable, attending more meetings, and new meditation practices. Kelly's parting piece of guidance: keep trying, be open to new resources. Cafe RE Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we'll all go home. I love you guys.

Episode 442 – Time to Breathe Today we have Jeff, he is 35 from Salt Lake City, UT and had his last drink on April 6th, 2023. Shout out to the Café RE chat hosts. Thank you for continuing to hold space for our community and for creating an environment where we can come together and heal. Go Brewing. Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off. [03:46] Highlights from Kris: Kris finds sober anniversaries a good opportunity to reflect on where he was and where he is today. He asks himself questions such as "What have I gone through? How have I been able to meet the challenges placed in front of me? Am I moving in the direction I want to in my life?" In active addiction Kris was not able to show love to himself. He knew that the things he was doing were hurting other people and himself. He knew his wife, kids, parents, and friends all loved him, but he couldn't let the love in. He was stuck in the loop of "I'm not enough, I've screwed up too much, I deserve to feel this way." If you're listening, and you're there today, know that you are not alone. Many of us have been there and know how hard it is. We don't have to be perfect RE… that's never going to happen. All we have to be is willing. We have to be willing to be honest with where we are today. Without judgement, where are things in our life right now? What is the next right thing to step into our new future? Where can we find support? Don't worry about trying to resolve every issue in your life all at once. Just take little bites. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [09:40] Kris introduces Jeff: At the time of recording, Jeff is celebrating 90 days of sobriety and plans to celebrate with cacao. He is 35 and lives in Salt Lake City with his wife and two dogs. For fun Jeff enjoys mountain biking, skiing, running, and music is a big part of his life. Growing up, alcohol was always present at celebrations hosted by his parents and their friends. It was normal for him to see people drink to excess. Jeff's first drink was when he was 16 with some friends and stolen rum. Early on he recognized that his drinking was different than other people's. On the outside, he was successful at school but was suffering from depression that alcohol helped him escape from. After high school Jeff went to the east coast to play hockey for two years. This required a lot of discipline, so Jeff's drinking was limited to one day each week. He never moderated and usually ended up blacking out. When Jeff turned 20, he started college where he played hockey and studied engineering. During his freshman year he got a bad concussion and struggled a lot with the side effects afterwards. He initially used drinking to self-medicate the side effects but drinking started to become the answer to everything. After college Jeff moved back to Alaska for a job. He had his own place with two roommates who he frequently drank with late into the night. He was able to keep up with work and other activities so in spite of some health consequences, he didn't feel he had a problem. Jeff started questioning his drinking after he caught himself drinking and driving frequently. He found Allen Carr's book and was able to stop drinking for 11 days. Since then, he has been in the cycle of quitting and then starting back with different lengths of time between drinks. Therapy has been helpful for Jeff over the last three years and his wife has been very supportive. Connection has become very important to him. Jeff's plan in recovery moving forward: moving forward with integrity and owning who he is. Jeff's parting piece(s) of guidance: it's ok if you think this is hard because it is hard. Even just listening to this podcast is a huge win. Recovery is not a straight line. Cafe RE Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator You're the only one that can do this, but you don't have to do it alone. I love you guys.

Episode 441 – Connection With a Molecule Today we have Shane, he is 39 from Birmingham, AL and took his last drink on December 25th, 2021. [00:58] Highlights from Paul: Many of us share the same response to our first drink. It's a firework show internally that connects the missing dots. We finally feel connected. Alcohol becomes our best friend. Now do not beat yourself up if you find yourself in a tightly intertwined relationship with alcohol. Humans are pack animals and need connection to survive. We need partnership. As addiction guru Dr. Gabor Mate would say, congratulations, you found alcohol, you found a way to survive. Yes, there is the disease model, but there's also the unease model. A deep unrest or lack of connection with others and ourselves. How do we fix this? Like we learned in last week's episode, it's robust social connections that fix this. Some of us have difficulty making deep connections with other human beings but connection with nonhuman souls can help us quit drinking too. Animals help us release oxytocin and serotonin; they help our nervous systems relax. Studies show plants and trees can do the same thing. To summarize, we connected with a molecule. Which ended up being the most dangerous and addictive molecule thus far recorded, and there is plenty of data to back that up. So, what's next? Start building connections with other people, places, and things, like your life depends on it. Because it does. We have a new sponsor! Check out Go Brewing. Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off. [08:12] Paul introduces Shane: Shane is 39 years old, currently lives outside of Birmingham, AL. He is married with two children. He works in the heavy truck parts industry. He has been playing guitar since he was 15. Shane had no interest in drinking prior to trying it on a beach trip with friends when he was 20. Shane was surround by alcohol while working as a musician and in the service industry. He found that alcohol made it easier for him to talk to and socialize with people. He first recognized that he might have a problem when he realized he was starting to rely on alcohol to alleviate any stress he was having. He met his wife while they were working on a music album together. Shane started having increasing anxiety and his drinking issues were becoming more apparent to those around him. He was given an ultimatum by his wife to quit drinking. He was able to quit drinking for about five years. Shane's father passed away and he ended up taking over the business abruptly. At this point he had already relapsed and would have a series of stops and starts utilizing different programs, but nothing ever stuck. Shortly after his daughter was born Shane made his most recent attempt at recovery after some conversations with his wife. He started attending AA three times a week and this was the first time that he admitted to himself that he could not control this. Shane says he felt huge relief when he realized that. Shane says that within the first six months of sobriety his sleep improved, he was able to do more by not planning his life around alcohol. Exercise has been very helpful to Shane as well. He is open with friends and family around his recovery and has no issues being around alcohol. Shane feels the next step for him is leaning into the service aspect of recovery. Shane's favorite resources in recovery: RE podcast, AA, SMART Recovery Shane's parting piece of guidance: "just stop drinking" Cafe RE Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.

Episode 440 - How to Undo Trauma Today we have Kathy. She is 31 from Dillworth, MN and has been clean since June 13th, 2016. Thank you to all of the Café RE chat hosts. You all do a great job! We have an exciting new sponsor for the podcast! Go Brewing has an amazing lineup of NA beers. Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off your order. [02:06] Highlights from Paul: Before we get started, how is your summer going? How is sobriety going? How is your AF clock going? How is your life going? Regardless of your answer to all those questions, Paul reminds us that we are not alone. Recovery Elevator is right here with you every step of the way. A recent study of baboons revealed that establishing robust social connections in adulthood, is so beneficial to the animals that it can mitigate the consequences of traumatic experiences during their early years. There's that word again. Connection. In addition, researchers have found that once these connections are made, the baboons report living longer lives. We have learned, are learning - that building connections helps us depart from alcohol. When we first enter an actual relationship with the molecule alcohol. It's a wonderful courtship, but we soon realize that alcohol gave us wings, and then took away the sky. We must replace the connection we had with alcohol with something else. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [09:39] Kris introduces Kathy: Kathy just celebrated 7 years of recovery. She lives in Dillworth, MN, she works in care coordination with the F5 Project and has five children ranging from 5 to 18. For fun she hangs out with recovery friends while doing a variety of activities. Kathy's parents were both addicts and she was in the foster care system early in life. She would spend her childhood moving in and out of foster homes. When she was 12 she ended up living with her brothers and stepfather because her mother went to jail. Kathy wanted to be like her older brothers and started drinking to have a good time. It didn't take long for her drinking and drug abuse to get out of control. Kathy ended up getting pregnant at age 16 by a man she didn't know well. She says she no longer had parental support. She quit all substances through her pregnancy and had a goal to be a different mom than her own. She was unable to stay quit and felt a lot of guilt and shame surrounding it. Kathy was not able to stay clean during her second pregnancy and after having the baby she spent a lot of time stealing to support her habit and her children. She ended up trying rehab at one point but was unable to stay sober for very long. Kathy feels she didn't have great parenting skills and ended up losing custody of her children due to the drug abuse. Some felonies found her in jail and she tried to use this as an opportunity to get clean. After losing a close friend, Kathy asked her stepfather to bail her out. After about two months of using again she decided to get clean because that is what her friend would have wanted for her. She was able to get into inpatient treatment and felt this time that she was truly ready. As soon as she arrived, she went to a drum ceremony where she felt her spirit being awoken. She started learning about how her trauma affected her which helped her shed her shame. After treatment Kathy lived in a halfway house for a few months and upon getting out had her third child. Kathy started going to school for social work and was able foster her nieces who she has now adopted. She loves her current job as care coordinator and giving back to others. Kathy's plan in sobriety moving forward: to keep on giving back, anywhere and everywhere. Kathy's parting piece of guidance: You have control over your actions, and you can train your brain to be and do better. Cafe RE Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.

Episode 439 – Developing a Spiritual Practice Today we have Liz, she's 38 from LaVale, MD and took her last drink on December 31st, 2022. Thank you to the Café RE chat host, you all do an incredible job! Athletic Greens [02:22] Highlights from Paul: This is not a religious podcast. Paul feels that religion and spirituality are not two sides of the same coin. When we drink alcohol, spiritually, our electrical current to the universe is severed. In fact, in many cultures, the name alcohol literally means, soul sucking spirit. Then mentally, the chemical alcohol turns our brains into tepid soup. After that, we have the physical component - pancreatitis and liver failure come to mind. What is spirituality? What is a spiritual practice? We are connecting with the self. We are connecting within. You become more ocean and less wave. In short, spirituality is connection with the self, which then leads to a connection with nature, the universe, a higher power, and some may call it God. Why do we drink? Why did we drink? To get this sense of connection. Paul shares many examples of spiritual practices and reminds us that we don't have to wait for the normal order of healing in order to implement some these. We can start right now. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [11:03] Paul introduces Liz: Liz is from a small-town Maryland. She is married with two kids; she is a registered nurse and attending school as she is working toward her master's degree. She enjoys spending time outdoors: kayaking, hiking, camping, being a soccer mom. Liz grew up in a tightknit family and was the youngest of three sisters. She first tried alcohol with a cousin when she was in 6th grade. She didn't really enjoy it and thought it tasted terrible. She wasn't a big drinker in high school, just the occasional party. She drank like everyone else during college and worked in the service industry. It was normal for her to be the last person drinking at parties, but she worked and went to school with little issue. Liz's drinking escalated when she began nursing school. She was already married with two kids and struggled balancing it all. She used alcohol as a stress reliever. Her first job after graduating was in the ICU working night shifts. She would drink after her shifts and tried to hide the amount of drinking from her husband. She still didn't feel she had a problem. Liz says her moderation attempts found her feeling more stressed and caused mood swings. Liz went to inpatient rehab and was able to stay sober for six months. She started attending AA and using the tools she learned in rehab. Her relapse happened on a soccer trip after another parent called her out for not drinking which triggered her. She now feels that her lack of planning or having a network contributed to the relapse as well. She lost control of her drinking. Over the next few years, she spent a lot of time in treatment and trying to figure out what was causing the issues and what needed to change. Liz got a sponsor with AA and started the steps right away after her last drink. She sometimes gets cravings but plays the tape forward. She knows that if she drinks, she will not be able to be there for any of her family if they need her. Liz made a post on Facebook about her recovery and received a lot of love and many messages from people regarding their own struggles. Liz says that she feels so much freedom now that she is alcohol free and has found her higher power. Liz's favorite resources in recovery: AA, recovery podcasts Liz's parting piece of guidance: don't ever give up, no matter what happens you can wake up the next day and keep going. Cafe RE Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.