Recovery Elevator

Sasha took her last drink on May 19th, 2019. This is her story of living alcohol free (AF). Check out the free meditations on the Recovery Elevator page here! Odette's weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You When Odette doesn't want to forget something, she sends herself an email. Recently she found one to herself with the subject line: Positive Relationships. The body of the email said simply: "The biggest factor for cultivating resilience" (Season 17, Grey's Anatomy) We need resilience when embarking on this journey. Not just for this, but for everything life throws at us. Our journey is far from perfect, when we fall we need the courage to get back up and that's why we need community. This is why together is better. Having one person in your corner can make a huge difference for you. How many positive relationships to you have and are you fostering them? [7:19] Odette introduces Sasha. Sasha is from New Jersey and works in IT. She lives with her fiancé and their dog. For fun she likes to read, do jigsaw puzzles, meditate and collecting old books from estate sales. [10:37] Can you give listeners some background on your story? Sasha said she started drinking around the age of 18. It wasn't anything that was intense, but she knew from the first drink it would make her be "her true self." She got a DUI at the 20. Around 21 was when she started drinking alone. When she was 23/24 she was crying and falling apart every time she drank. Her thoughts were preoccupied with drinking all the time. [13:48] Did the DUI make you question your drinking, or did you think that this was just something young people did? Sasha said it was both. She knew she drank in a way that wasn't normal but felt because she was so young it was also ok. Looking back she knew it should have been a big warning sign. [15:36] Did you have any rock bottom moments? Sasha said rock bottom was when she was drinking alone and miserable. She had the realization she was miserable but didn't know how to get out of it. [16:13] How did you get yourself out of the cycle? Sasha said she was listening to the RE podcast and reading Eckart Tolle and doing the Sam Harris 'Wake Up' course and this gave her the realization she had a drinking problem. Her end goal when drinking was always to be drunk, so the solution was to have none. [18:09] Was the podcast your first exposure to other stories of people's drinking? Sasha said after her DUI there was court mandated AA meetings and that was her first exposure. She loved hearing what people were going through because she could identify with them. [21:20] What Tolle book were you reading? The Power of Now She was also reading In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts which covers many of the same themes. [24:54] Were you having conversations with your fiancé about your drinking prior to May 20th? Sasha said she always minimized it, so they never had direct conversations about her drinking. When she told him, he was very supportive and zero judgement. They continue to have conversations about her drinking. [26:27] Did you feel relief when you told him? Sasha said yes, a tremendous amount of relief. She was so lonely in her drinking and to have him be so accepting was what she needed. [32:05] How was it for you right after you made the decision to stop drinking? Sasha said for her it was like a switch flipped. She was so happy to be free from alcohol that her "pink cloud" lasted about 6 months. It helped that so many other things fell into place in that time as well. Sasha received a promotion at work, they got a dog, she was connecting with herself, reconnected with old friends and all the small things put themselves in place. It was hard for her to imagine going back to drinking. She had a craving around month 8, but was able to play the tape forward and that tool helped her not have a drink. [36:27] What happened after the pink cloud? What other tools do you use? Sasha said this time quitting was different, she was able to flip a switch. She no longer romanticizes drinking. But overall she hasn't had the white knuckling craving this time. [39:27] Did you have a routine in your day that you had to fill with new things? Sasha said it was when she left work. In the past she would leave work and pick-up alcohol on the way home. At first, she was distracting herself with seeing friends and taking her dog for a walk or eating. Getting out of the house was really important. [44:55] What type of responses did you get from people when you told them about this decision? Sasha said most people were supportive. Every once in a while, someone questions the decision. Some of the people she used to drink with have also come out and admitted they are struggling and she has tried to point them in the right direction for resources. [46:48] Rapid Fire Round What would you say to your younger self? Give her a hug and tell her everything will be ok. What's your favorite ice cream flavour? Chocolate What has recovery made possible for you?

Stephen took his last drink on January 24th, 2020. This is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette's weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You "The pleasures of connecting with people are much greater than the pleasures of judging people."- Johann Hari If we show up genuinely, we can connect with someone. If we are pretending to listen, we will not connect. Only with actual connection can we truly see each other. In a little departure from talking about quitting drinking Odette is asking us to explore being a better listener. What would that mean? What would that look like? Listening to each other has the power to heal, however it's also very hard to do. Can we be more curious and see how this can impact relationships? [6:01] Odette introduces Stephen. Stephen is 33 years old and lives in Austin, TX. He enjoys exercise, teaching tennis and using his Peloton. He's planning to return to school in the near future. [7:30] Can you give listeners some background on your story? Stephen said he took his first drink at the age of 15. He was curious about it and remembers finding something that made him feel relaxed. Being so focused on tennis, alcohol was mostly a secondary thing. In 2008 he joined the military to be an Airborne Ranger, which is also where he noticed his drinking changed. He left the military in 2015 and the drinking followed him. With nothing to wake up for at 5am anymore, he was able to drink differently. After a few years he walked into an AA meeting and went all in for 7 months' time. He began drinking again for 5 months which led him to January 2020. [14:59] Tell me more about your being in the military and the binge drinking. Did you question your relationship with alcohol? Stephen said he only questioned his drinking in the midst of a bad hangover. He was surrounded by so many others that drank the same way, so it was very normalized. Alcohol was a temporarily release from the stressors. [19:07] Have you shifted your thinking from that of learning to endure to finding joy? Stephen said he is still working on this. Coming from his sports and military background he was taught to do whatever it takes to get through something. He's learned that only works in the short term, but the emotional impact last longer. In recovery Stephen has taught himself that it's ok when things are easy and to go with the flow. He had to allow himself to surrender to the fact that he cannot live with alcohol in his life at all. [22:45] What has been different this time? Stephen said this time he had to adjust his all-in mentality. He's more tied into recovery communities with actual people and listening to their struggles and stories. He gave up the idea of being perfect but at the same time accepted that he can't be the best version of himself while drinking alcohol. [25:06] Have you found anything in sobriety that makes you feel relaxed and free? Stephen said running helps him and it's when his body feels good and his mind is at peace. He's working on trying to be ok with his own thoughts in his own head. Having real conversations with real people makes him feel free. [25:57] What do you do when you have a craving? Stephen said he eats. It's simple and it works for him. He didn't eat when drinking because he didn't want to ruin his buzz. Now it's the opposite. If that doesn't work, he reaches out. [26:57] Tell me about this year. Stephen said at the beginning of COVID he was still able to be collecting a paycheck. He also went through a big breakup, which was different being sober. [29:30] What's your everyday routine look like? Stephen said on a daily basis about connecting with people about his life and their life. Addressing mind, body and spirit, as well as attending therapy. [31:14] How have the interactions with family and friends been? Stephen said his family can now see the version of him that's able to be present. He's having conversations with family members who are questioning their own drinking. [34:01] Have you figured out the why of your drinking? Stephen said he's been exploring a lot of deeper things with his therapist. He grew up in a home where he had to walk on eggshells. So, he thinks the drinking allowed him to be free of that. However, that led to all of his emotions being repressed and without an outlet except through drinking. Drinking allowed him to feel things and feel human. [35:38] Have you found therapy to be helpful? Stephen said yes. He's an analytical person by nature and having someone to be a sounding board has been helpful. He wouldn't have gone through a lot of the childhood trauma without his therapist. [37:36] Has your sleep improved? Stephen said not yet. He hopes it's the last piece of the puzzle. [39:49] Have you gone back to AA? Stephen said yes, he's working through the steps again. But he primarily focuses on a larger network for his own recovery. [41:07] Rapid Fire Round What would you say to your younger self? Stop trying to find clarity and happiness in a bo

Niel took his last drink on January 9th, 2020. This is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette's weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You A few weeks ago, Odette heard a phrase that she hadn't heard before and it struck a chord with her. It was different from the usual catch phrases that people use. "Awkwardness is an indicator of learning" Do we talk enough about the uncomfortable moments while on this journey? Are we allowing those moments to happen and normalizing them? When the decision to quit drinking is made, awkward moments arise, because we are feeling everything now. When we feel awkward, we feel vulnerable and feeling vulnerable makes most people want to run and hide. Odette phrases this into if/then questions to find a new path. Choosing yourself and living AF is often awkward and that's ok! Let it feel weird until it doesn't anymore. [6:59] Odette introduces Niel. Niel is 56 and lives in rural North Eastern California. He is a forester. He is married and has two children. For fun he likes to be outdoors. He misses swimming. He plays and builds guitars, any type of woodworking. Biking and hiking he also enjoys. [10:08] Can you give listeners some background on your story? Niel said he grew up in family where drinking was part of the culture. He started drinking irresponsibly / binge way in high school. He joined a fraternity in college and drank there as well. After he passed the bar exam in 2004 his drinking began to be problematic. In 2016 he stopped for a year, but then began drinking again in 2017. [12:27] Tell me more about your year in 2016. Niel said he talked to friends who were AF before this. He began exploring the idea that he might have a problem. Although he went back to drinking in 2017, he needed to experiment and decide is maybe this time it would be different. [15:00] Given your level of drinking, how was your day to day? Niel said he characterized himself as high functioning. However, he did have the repercussions of drinking that much. He found himself waking up feeling "thick" and he was irritable, unable to sleep, his weight was up, his heart was always racing, there were all kinds of manifestations. [16:39] How were your relationships at home? Niel said he was more on the irritable side. Emotionally until you pause and look in the mirror you don't realize how bad you can be. Your actions are all reflections of your wellness. [20:08] What's one of your worst drinking memories? Niel said there's a highlight tape of horrors in his head. His worst memories are those about missing out on memorable moments in his life. Raising his kids, being around them for their successes. Those memories are foggy and not sharp. [21:57] Tell me about the beginning of this year. Niel said the first 3-4 days the cravings were strong towards the end of the day. He kept those at bay by distracting himself. Usually he would go outside and exercise. He replaced the liquid with soda water and lime. His cravings were more nuances. It was more about figuring out the trigger and dealing with those emotions. He's felt so much better in the past months that it drives him to keep going. Emotionally the peaks and valleys are more manageable. Thinking through his actions and distractions are what works for him. [26:29] Do you get any push back along the journey? Niel said he's received a lot of support from friends and family. There's a few that don't understand. It's a matter of understanding any challenge from a friend, it's from a place of not understanding or challenging their own drinking. [28:02] What are a few things you do daily that keep you grounded? Niel said he's a very driven person. He wakes early and starts his day with the dogs. His workday is long but when he's home he focuses on exercise. It allows his mind to detach and reflect on his day and his emotional intelligence. He helps around the house and with dinner and closing down the day. He checks in with Cafe RE at the end of the day and enjoys learning about other people's journeys. He then starts is over the next day. When he's traveling he listens to podcasts. [31:16] Has your sleep improved? Niel said he now sleeps mostly like the dead. His anxiety is manageable. He remembers his dreams now. [33:02] Tell me the difference in your journey from 2016 to now. Niel said he was a dry drunk in 2016. He just stopped drinking rather than trying to fix the why. He didn't reach out for any tools to help him stop drinking, he didn't have or seek support. He now listens carefully to other people's similarities. He focuses on others tools. Niel looks to community now. He tries to laugh more now because humor is a great healer. [37:28] What is your why? Niel said a big one is his ability to now remove a large amount of self-inflected stress. He can step back and examine all the taxing moments in his life and move through them now without alcohol. His why has now become his how. His ability to resolve his issues of why he drank is creating

Chris took his last drink about 6 years ago. This is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette's weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You A few weeks ago, Elle published an article titled "The Year of Drinking Dangerously" which explored how alcohol in 2020 was front and center. Alcohol effects everything in our society and it's time we got serious and brought these issues to light. Alcohol is a drug that has been glamorized. 2020 taught Odette that she has grit, that she can speak up about things that matter to her, that she doesn't have to be a people pleaser, to name a few. She is pledging to make 2021 the year where Recovery Elevator changes even more lives through unmasking alcohol. As more and more people are questioning their relationship with alcohol… LETS KEEP GOING. [7:10] Odette introduces Chris. Chris is 33 years old, originally from New Jersey and right now lives in Savannah, GA. His career began in finance, as he quit drinking, he transitioned to being a personal trainer. He also began a blog, writing the articles he wished he could have read when questioning his own drinking. This became his website and he now is a alcohol recovery coach and has a podcast related to sobriety. He likes to be physically active. Chris also has two dogs he rescued in 2020. [16:57] Can you give listeners some background on your story? Chris started drinking in high school but wasn't really a partier. He was mostly into swimming and studying. However, when he did go out, he realized he could out drink all his friends. As he moved into an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, he felt like he was living a double life. Alcohol was the opposite of everything he stood for. Looking back he can see that he would have withdrawal symptoms at the age of 20 when he didn't drink. When he left college and began working, the drinking was now just martinis and more expensive. When he did finally quit, he had to go to detox. Through his research he learned that he had been out of balance with his nutrients which alcohol only exacerbated. [25:21] How aware were you that alcohol was the problem? Chris said he was in deep denial, with outbursts of honesty. A story he tells is standing outside a liquor store one morning waiting for it to open while drinking from a bottle of water he had filled with vodka. He thought to himself "this isn't normal." Chris felt he was special because of that he needed to drink to deal with people and jobs. Alcohol to him was a performance enhancing drug. [30:47] Tell me about those first couple months. Chris said once he admitted to others that alcohol was a problem, he felt some inner peace and relief. He also felt the tug of war in his brain, would this be purgatory and him having to be a saint the rest of his life? Chris took the leap of faith that he would figure out what needed to be done. In rehab he began doing meditation and that opened his eyes to the fact that you can have a fulfilled life away from alcohol. Fueling his body helped him see the world in full color. [39:35] What are simple tips help you restore your body balance? Chris said there are two main factors: Hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) and deficiencies in neurotransmitters. Start with a daily multivitamin and look into amino acid therapy. L Glutamine can be helpful in repairing muscles and gut health. It also turned into glucose in the brain without a spike in blood sugar. * always speak to your doctor before beginning any regiment. [44:52] Sleep Chris said he's recently read Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker. Chris had always had trouble sleeping and he's now trying to optimize his sleep. He tracks his sleep and tries to get to the bottom of why his sleep pattern might have changed. Chris recommends the power of tea and drinking tea to find a blissed-out state. There's a whole universe of benign things that can help with the psychological distraction. [50:39] Rapid Fire Round What would you say to your younger self? Don't drink alcohol. What has recovery made possible? Deeper relationships and be present with people. What's your favorite ice cream flavour? Talenti Mediterranean Mint What book are you reading right now? Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art by James Nestor What parting piece of guidance would you give to listeners thinking about ditching the booze? Try to solidify your support system and figure out how you can confide in. Don't assume you will feel as bad as you think you will without the alcohol. You may have to say adios to booze if... you find yourself outside a liquor store before it opens with a bottle of water refilled with vodka. Odette's weekly challenge: Did you reflect on who you are trying to become? Please don't shy away from what your heart is telling you that you deserve. Upcoming events, retreats and courses: You can find more information about our events Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. Affi

Robyn took her last drink on June 30, 2020. With 63 days away from alcohol (at the time of this recording), this is her story of living alcohol free (AF). Recovery Elevator RESTORE January 2021 Course. We will be offering this starting 1/1/2021. We're meeting 13 times in January via Zoom to give you the tools and accountability needed for an alcohol-free January… and hopefully more! We'll be focusing more on creating a life where alcohol is no longer needed. We've found that when we have healthy altruistic relationships with fellow human beings, the need for alcohol or any external substance drastically reduces. For more information and to sign up, use this link. Odette's weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You The last Monday of the year! "What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals" – Zig Ziglar This journey isn't about arriving, it's about becoming. How much we are willing to put in is what we should celebrate. Your hard work and new habits are what is to be celebrated. No one can take that away from you. What have you noticed about your journey this year? Who did you become this year? [6:35] Odette introduces Robyn. Robyn is from Columbia, South Carolina. She lives with her partner and he has two kids they see often. She likes jigsaw puzzles, reading, journaling and meditating. Pre-covid she liked vacations to the mountains. [9:33] Can you give listeners some background on your story? Robyn said she started drinking around her senior year of high school. She was shy. When she moved to NC it was a fresh start and to fit in, she drank. It helped her open up and have fun. After some life trials and moving to Columbia she made friends with bartenders and it was still fun drinking. During a relationship with another alcoholic, she noticed her drinking really ramped up. There were lots of times she talked herself out of being an alcoholic. In 2011 Robyn got a DUI. She did quit for a little, but it didn't stick. After her mother passed away was when Robyn actually noticed it was a problem. She dealt with so much during that time. Robyn's getting to her last drink came in ebbs and flows over years. There was a definite mental decline that she noticed. [26:10] How was your emotional state during these times of drinking and then returning to drinking? Robyn said she stopped beating herself up. It took a while for that overall to stop, but the more she met people and gained community it's been easier for her to be easier on herself. She's learned there's no point in beating yourself up, it won't help. [31:06] What do you do when you get a craving? Robyn said she reaches out. Her partner helps her with the rational side of her thinking. If he's not available, she will reach out to Café RE or her little DTB group. [32:43] How has this decision affected other relationships? Robyn said her boss is also in recovery and he's a big supporter of her recovery. Her best friend still drinks but is supportive of her choice. [35:21] Have you been able to identify any triggers? Robyn said some of her triggers are good things. If she's having a good day, yard work, outside activities. Her triggers aren't emotional anymore. [38:06] Do you have a daily routine? Robyn said journaling. She's journaled most of her life and she's really focused on it during her sobriety. Robyn even noticed that if she takes a break, within a week she's had a drink. Even when she doesn't have anything "great" to say, she writes anyway. She tries to include gratitude and she's begun meditating. [47:18] Rapid Fire Round If you could talk to day 1 Robyn, what would you say? Keep trying, you're making the right decision, keep going. It will eventually be good. What are you excited about right now? Do some sober travel and meet some Cafe RE members. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey? Cafe RE, journaling, quit lit and other podcasts, all of them. What is your favorite NA beverage? All the sparkling water, if it's sparkling and it's water, I want it! What parting piece of guidance would you give to listeners thinking about ditching the booze? Give it a try you will never know how good it can feel until you give it a chance. And be easy on yourself. You may have to say adios to booze if... you wanted to stock up for quarantine and it only lasts you 4 days. Odette's weekly challenge: Take a few moments to reflect on today's intro on becoming. Who are you trying to become? Thank you to each listener! Upcoming events, retreats and courses: Recovery Elevator RESTORE January 2021 Course. We will be offering this starting 1/1/2021. We're meeting 13 times in January via Zoom to give you the tools and accountability needed for an alcohol-free January… and hopefully more! You can find more information about our events Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. Affiliate Link for Amazon: Sho

Sarah took her last drink on April 22, 2019. With over a year away from alcohol (at the time of this recording), this is her story of living alcohol free (AF). Recovery Elevator RESTORE January 2021 Course. We will be offering this starting 1/1/2021. We're meeting 13 times in January via Zoom to give you the tools and accountability needed for an alcohol-free January… and hopefully more! We'll be focusing more on creating a life where alcohol is no longer needed. We've found that when we have healthy altruistic relationships with fellow human beings, the need for alcohol or any external substance drastically reduces. For more information and to sign up, use this link. Odette's weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You Odette recently received the book Homebody by Rupi Kaur. As Odette looks at her own sobriety as a return to self, this book is very fitting for where she is in her own journey right now. Here's your permission slip this week: take care of yourself. This time of year can be overwhelming for many. When we are overwhelmed, we may also open the door to fear. Using our tools, we can make life manageable and hold space for everything we are feeling. list of things to heal your mood: cry it out. walk it. write it. scream it. dance it out of your body. If after all that you are still spiraling out of control ask yourself if sinking into the mud is worth it the answer is no the answer is breathe sip tea and feel your nervous system settle you are the hero of your life this feeling doesn't have power over you the universe has prepared you to handle this no matter how dark it get the light is always on its way you are the light walk yourself back to where the love lives [6:42] Odette introduces Sarah. Sarah lives in Wisconsin with her husband and her son and their dog. She is 30 years old and works in marketing. For fun she likes running, reading and crafting. She loves live music as well. [8:52] Can you give listeners some background on your story? Sarah said she had her first drink around 14 or 15 years old. Form there she drank almost every weekend and became a party girl. The lifestyle continued into college. She transferred her sophomore year and focused on her health. When she turned 21 it ramped up again. Being in WI the drinking culture is strong. After college she kept partying on the weekend, but the culture of drinking kept her in it. At the age of 26 Sarah had a moment that changed it, she woke up feeling shame. In 2017 she told herself she was only going to drink on special occasions, she made it 60 days without alcohol. At a friends 30th birthday was when she drank again, and it was like old times, up until 4 am drinking. She also found out she was pregnant at the end of March 2017. While pregnant she missed drinking and was ready to get back to it. She found herself turning to alcohol as a reward. Sarah began to see that she wasn't someone who could just have one, she always went overboard. [21:30] Has it been cool finding different ways to unwind at the end of the day? Sarah said she turned her beer fridge into a NA fridge. Her and her husband make mocktails. She turns to something that's relaxing rather than alcohol to unwind. [22:59] Talk to me about when you started this journey and being in a relationship? Sarah said her partner was really supportive. He never said anything about her drinking, but it caused problems when she was drinking. She was worried about their relationship however because they met through partying. He however is someone who supports her no matter what. [27:31] Did you start using social media as a way to find other sober people? Sarah said when she was on her moderation journey, she found some accounts that were about being sober. When she got serious, she went back and found them and was amazed at how large the community had grown. Sarah found 1000 Hours Dry and enlisted a friend to do it with her. Sarah helped grow her community through Instagram. She's co-started New Fashioned Sobriety with some friends she met through Instagram and they plan meet ups (virtual right now!). [33:39] How was it going to the in person retreat in Bozeman? Sarah said she was very nervous about going, but also about what her family would think. During the retreat she met and connected with so many people she wouldn't have otherwise and really emersed herself in the event. Sarah said she came home with new tools and tons of new friends. [37:52] Do you still get cravings? Sarah said it's mostly when she romanticizes her drinking, but for the most part no. [41:28] Tell me what your most beloved tools in your toolbelt. Podcasts are #1, this Naked Mind and the community on instgram. [42:31] What's your go to response when someone offers you a drink? No thanks, it makes me feel like shit was her go to in the beginning. Now she normally brings her own so it's not a conversation! [43:33] Rapid Fire Round If you could talk to day 1 Sarah, what would you say? You life is going to change

Kyle took his last drink on May 31 2020. With 82 days away from alcohol (at the time of this recording), this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Recovery Elevator RESTORE January 2021 Course. We will be offering this starting 1/1/2021. We're meeting 13 times in January via Zoom to give you the tools and accountability needed for an alcohol-free January… and hopefully more! We'll be focusing more on creating a life where alcohol is no longer needed. We've found that when we have healthy altruistic relationships with fellow human beings, the need for alcohol or any external substance drastically reduces. For more information and to sign up, use this link. Odette's weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You Sometimes we get stuck. When Odette gets stuck, she repeats this simple phrase to herself. "Please help me see things differently." Being shown the same scenario through a different lens helps to shift the perspective. Different questions help to see things in a new way and get unstuck. If you're feeling stuck are you asking yourself the wrong questions? [7:44] Odette introduces Kyle. Kyle is 33 years old and from Michigan. He is married and has three young daughters. He works in the automotive industry as a program manager. For fun he's been planning the future with his wife, he also likes gaming and running. [10:49] Can you give listeners some background on your story? Kyle said the first time he got drunk was when he was 14, but he didn't notice a change in his drinking until he was in his 20s. He was taking on a lot at the time and failing a lot at things. He looked to beer to take the edge off which turned into drinking to black out every night. He tried quitting many times and this stretch is the longest he's gone in 10 years. [13:37] When did you notice you were using alcohol to cope? Kyle said he realized this subconsciously early on but was trying to quit on willpower alone. He figured out the price for alcohol and the euphoria it brought was higher than he was willing to pay. Alcohol stopped being enjoyable at the end because he was just chasing something. [17:25] What happened when you returned from Japan and you realized you couldn't shake it? Kyle said rock bottom wasn't one individual thing. He realized he was letting his wife and kids down often. He would wake up ashamed. During a conversation with his wife, she mentioned a friend who worked with people with addiction issues. Kyle was given some reference material. He found other like-minded people and that's really what helped him. [21:23] Tell me about your attempts to stop drinking. Kyle said he feels like he's been in a fog for the last 10 years. He had a lot of vision and no energy. Every time he woke up and swore off alcohol, but 3 pm that day he was ready to drink. There was a lot of mental back and forth he experienced. He sees now that was only will power without understanding the science behind it. [23:23] What was your mental headspace when you were trying to quit? Kyle said he lacked a lot of self love, so he was frustrated with himself all the time. He had a good façade and came off as confident, but he wasn't the person he wanted to be internally. [24:15] How has this time been different for you? Kyle said he is seeking help. Also, his family is a big influence about getting sober. He knows he will be there for them. [25:16] What do you do when you get a craving? Kyle said he sits with it and he thinks about the morning after, his future and what the drink can lead to. [27:30] How has staying away from alcohol affected your anxiety & depression? Kyle said it's still there, but it's not as severe. He now knows that drinking wont erase them and he deals with them. [29:44] What does a day in the life of Kyle look like? Kyle said it's mainly juggling his career and his family. [29:44] What does a day in the life of Kyle look like? Jason said he makes amends a lot. He gives himself permission to be imperfect and to circle back. He practices and allows room for mistakes to happen. Being compassionate with himself. He also applies the ABCs [30:10] Do you have any rituals in place to help you deal with cravings? Kyle said he likes to keep his hands busy. He does see he's more focused on the things he loves. [37:16] Have you noticed a difference in your relationship with your wife? Kyle said his wife really let him do what he needed and didn't get in the way of him discovering his own path to sobriety. He has thanked her for letting him discover sobriety in his own way. [41:20] Do you have any specific routines during the day / morning routine? Kyle said he used to but now not really. He does try to find time to exercise because it's a stress release. If he has extra time, read a book. [43:43] Have you noticed your sleep has improved? Kyle said living away from alcohol has improved his sleep. He used to drink to knock himself out. He's noticed it's much better now. [44:43] Rapid Fire Round If you could talk to day 1 Kyle, what

Dr. Jason Powers took his last drink in June 2003. With many days away from all substances, this is his story of living substance free. Recovery Elevator RESTORE January 2021 Course. We will be offering this starting 1/1/2021. We're meeting 13 times in January via Zoom to give you the tools and accountability needed for an alcohol-free January… and hopefully more! We'll be focusing more on creating a life where alcohol is no longer needed. We've found that when we have healthy altruistic relationships with fellow human beings, the need for alcohol or any external substance drastically reduces. For more information and to sign up, use this link. Odette's weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You What do we do when we are waiting for an outcome or a result? Traditionally: we bolt, we remove ourselves from the moment. In sobriety we have to feel all our feelings. Feeling them is the proof that we are staying true to ourselves. And that in itself is bad ass. Keeping in mind we have to feel the feelings, but also process them, not allow ourselves to get stuck in them. On days like today, when most people feel depleted, we have to find ways to fill up our gas tank. [7:03] Odette introduces Dr. Jason. Jason is 50 years old and lives in Houston, Texas. He is a physician that focuses on addiction medicine as well as an author, an interventionist, the founder of Positive Recovery. He is married and has 3 children: 18, 15 & 11. For fun he exercises and plays the drums, [10:07] Can you give listeners some background on your story? Jason said his first drug was sugar. It was the summer before 9th grade when he first tried marijuana. While he would quit from time to time, he consumed it a lot. He drank in high school and college. Jason quit everything during medical school. He said he went out of control after his residency because no eyes were on him anymore. He had access to cough syrup with hydrocodone which had its own set of repercussions. He had an intervention and went to rehab. In rehab he had a moment of surrender to addiction. [16:30] What is your definition of Positive Recovery? Jason said while he did get sober through a 12-step program. However he woke up later to exploring beyond the 12-steps and a broader array of recovery methods. The science of happiness (Positive Psychology) was something that he learned about and jumped in. He began to apply these methods to addictive disorders. Helping to improve outcomes is Dr. Jason's end goal. [25:13] Personally, did you have to deal with any relapses after your time in treatment / early recovery? Jason said he felt like he had a lot of reasons for shame surrounding his addiction. In his profession it's often looked at as a character flaw. He was very distraught and afraid when he finally surrendered to the addiction. He didn't have a relapse, but realizes he is an anomaly. In the beginning there was the desire to relapse, but he pushed through the feelings that came with it. [29:56] Tell me about CBT. Jason said that Dr. Aaron Beck created CBT. Dr. Beck decided he needed to develop a tool to change the thinking and behavior and there is a different result. The ABC's are: A- Activating Event, B- Belief/Thought, C- Consequence. Making the change and having people argue with themselves (A & B) to change the consequence. ACR- Active Constructive Responding- Dr. Jason wants us all to google this and inform ourselves and apply this to our lives! [38:28] Tell me how your life has changed. Jason said a part of him woke up or was reborn after addiction. He's still himself, but just different. He's living a full complete lifestyle away from substances. He's honest, my generous, more empathetic. [40:38] How do you navigate difficult situations personally? Jason said he makes amends a lot. He gives himself permission to be imperfect and to circle back. He practices and allows room for mistakes to happen. Being compassionate with himself. He also applies the ABCs. [42:46] Rapid Fire Round What is your favorite NA beverage? Diet orange soda. What would you say to your younger self? Go find Amy Powers and marry her and get into recovery quickly! What are some of your favorite resources in recovery? Other people, other people, other people What book are you reading right now? Ken Follett, A Dangerous Fortune What parting piece of guidance can you give people thinking about ditching the booze? What are you waiting for? Try it out. You may have to say adios to booze if... it's causing more negative consequences to your life then it's adding benefits. Odette's weekly challenge: Think about the intro, how do you spend your waiting periods? Do you know you can come back to yourself by simply breathing and being mindful? Peace begins with you. Upcoming events, retreats and courses: Recovery Elevator RESTORE January 2021 Course. We will be offering this starting 1/1/2021. We're meeting 13 times in January via Zoom to give you the tools and accountability needed for an alcohol-free

Jamie took her last drink April 16, 2019. With 485 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette's weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You She is currently re-reading The Compound Effect. The general idea is that baby steps add up into large rewards. Change is hard. Gaining momentum on a decision is hard. This applies to our alcohol-free journey: turning down drinks, one at a time. Once we reframe the idea of this being a sacrifice and think of it as an opportunity instead, the trajectory changes. We must think of all the things we can add into our lives without alcohol. Odette makes a list of the things she has room for in her life now. Why don't you make one too? [7:00] Odette introduces Jamie Jamie is 35 years old and lives on Long Island, NY. Her immediate family lives close and she lives with her 2 black cats. Jamie is a social worker. For fun she likes to run, go kayaking, reading, cooking and hanging out with friends. Being in nature is the best, it's where she finds her higher power. [9:57] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Jamie said she started drinking at the end of high school. In college her drinking seemed normal. She found there were hills and valleys with her drinking. When Jamie lost her mother at the age of 22 she remembers she was in a club in Greece and she identifies the synergy with that happening. The last 3-4 years her drinking escalated. She was blacking out and making poor choices. Looking back she can see the pattern of co-dependency. [12:57] Did you notice after your mother passed that you used alcohol to deal with your grief? Jamie said at first, she was so busy taking care of her father and making sure he was ok that alcohol was a secondary thought. But once she had some time away and time with her own feelings, she could see she was using alcohol the same as her mother, to numb down any emotions. [18:05] Tell me about the first couple weeks of your journey? Jamie said this was really the first time she honestly tried to get stop drinking. She had been living on the river of denial before this. Growing up her family didn't express feelings, they drank or got angry. So, the first few weeks were new. She started a 12-step program and therapy. Jamie only knew 2 sober people at the time and she spoke to them a lot. [23:49] What did you do initially when you had a craving? Jamie said she didn't really have a craving for the drink, but it was an emotional craving instead. She used a new found self-awareness to explore the feelings. She would pause and ask herself some questions about why she was feeling that way. [28:18] After making the decision to not drinking, did you talk to your friends and family about it? Jamie said she told people very quickly. She said the safe sentence "I'm not drinking right now". After about a month, she started to see how this could be a lifestyle for her. 5-6 months in she began to share very openly on social media. [30:48] What's been the hardest part of this journey for you? Jamie said feeling her feelings and not fighting them. Allowing the feelings to just be there. [34:27] What's your morning routine? Wakes up at 6am, feeds cats, reads and then moves her body. For the last 81 days (at the time of recording) Jamie has been running every morning. New Fashioned Sobriety and their Zero Proof Run Club hosted and a streaker challenge that she completed. Initially it was 41 days, which she completed. And now her pledge to herself is to move her body daily. She also makes sure to meditate daily. [37:01] Did you used to have a witching hour? Jamie said right after work, 5-7pm when before she would be at happy hour and now she fills the time with new routines. A fun mocktail, some tea, go for a walk, walk with a friend. [40:13] Rapid Fire Round What are you excited about right now? Have her first sober healthy relationship. What books are you reading right now? Good Morning, Destroyer of Men's Souls: A Memoir of Women, Addiction, and Love What is a lightbulb moment you've had in this journey? I can do almost anything sober that I did drunk. If you could talk to day 1 Jamie, what would you say? Jamie you are a warrior, you are a force you have no idea what this is going to bring you. You can be a light for other people. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Anything with chocolate or peanut butter in it and even together! What are some of your favorite resources in recovery? Café RE, Podcasts- Recovery Elevator, Recovery Happy Hour, Seltzer Squad, yoga, walking, running, kayaking and This Naked Mind and Sober Curious. What parting piece of guidance can you give people thinking about ditching the booze? You are a brave, gentle soul and I applaud you. I wish you so much fun on your journey. It's about taking that pain and making it fun. Tell somebody. You may have to say adios to booze... You drank so much while living in your parents basement and you couldn't make it ups

Alex took her last drink April 25, 2020. With exactly 109 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette's weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You The end of the year is the time when Odette sees a lot of "fuck-its". Putting your goals on hold and coasting to the end of the year, to start fresh in the new year. 2020 particularly has been hard as so much was put on hold; we can now choose to make this year mean nothing or everything. Keep going, keep putting your good energy into the year. The rest of this year is a marathon, not a sprint to 2021. Hold onto your sobriety, visualize your path, see the people along the way cheering you on, see the finish line. You can do this. [7:30] Odette introduces Alex Alex is 28 years old. She is originally from Indianapolis, IN and just moved to Denver, CO. She loves hiking, mountain biking, being outside. She lives with a roommate and her dog. She's the "designated ice cream friend" among her group of friends. [10:50] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Alex said she was never someone who drank daily, but she found herself often in drinking situations and she wasn't able to moderate. She moved from Chicago back to Indianapolis and the drinking didn't change like she hoped it would. Alex began to make rules around her drinking to try to moderate. Morning after morning of not remembering nights she began to explore and consider a life without alcohol. She wanted to remember everything. [14:04] What drew you to start listening to Recovery Elevator? Alex said when she was questioning her drinking, she felt she couldn't tell anyone in her circle of friends but knew there had to be something out there in the podcast world. There was one in particular that spoke to her, she saw herself in the interviewee. Alex began to get angry at the alcohol. [17:42] What tools work for you? Alex said she walks every day, minimum 2 hours. That's been therapeutic for her. It allows her to slow down and focus on the little things in life. When she feels a craving, she goes for a walk. [19:08] Do people around you know you're sober? Alex said everybody knows now. It started as a whisper to some people and now it's something that is just known. When 1000 Hours Dry was looking for a host, she signed right up, giving her an extra layer of accountability. [23:27] What's your worst memory from drinking? Alex said she woke up one morning, not remembering at all how she got home from the night before. She decided to take herself out to brunch, where she drank and rode herself home on her bike. She had an accident, breaking her wrist and giving herself a concussion. [27:00] What's your go to response when someone offers you a drink? Alex said she says "no thank you, I have my own drink!" [28:55] Have you gotten to the bottom of why you chose to drink? Alex said she was lonely and seeking validation. She felt she would be more likable if she drank. [33:28] Do you ever feel a disconnect in your age decade and when you got sober? Alex said she was nervous about this choice and how it would affect her social life. Reframing the idea of not drinking is what helped her get through it. She wanted to remember the things that hadn't happened yet. [33:28] Do you ever feel a disconnect in your age decade and when you got sober? Alex said she was nervous about this choice and how it would affect her social life. Reframing the idea of not drinking is what helped her get through it. [36:41] What's been the hardest part of the last few months? Letting go of expectations and having different expectations. Having to go with the flow. [39:16] Do you have a daily routine? Alex said she making coffee is therapeutic to her. She focuses on the enjoyment she will get from the process and the end result. She journals while drinking the coffee. Her walking is also part of what keeps her sane. Alex has some playlists that bring her peace. [43:42] Rapid Fire Round If you could talk to day 1 Dusty, what would you say? You deserve a life without alcohol. What are you excited about right now? Getting yoga certification, meeting new people. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Graham Central Station or TJ Cookie Butter What is a lightbulb moment you've had in this journey? You don't need a drink. You just need to be and sit through the feeling. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners? I promise this decision is fun. You may have to say adios to booze... You're only guaranteed to go to a wedding if there's an open bar. Odette's weekly challenge: Commit to finishing the race. Commit to your sobriety. Flip the question. Instead of "What's the worst that can happen?" ask "What's the best that can happen?" Upcoming events, retreats and courses: You can find more information about our events here. Grüvi discount code: For 15% off your order with Grüvi visit their website and use the promo code recovery elevator at checkout. Affiliate Link

Dusty took his last drink September 21, 2015. With exactly 5 years away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette's weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You…..by Paul Churchill How to get your 300 Power Stance: Grab a stick and stand in front of a mirror, put on some good music, bend the knees and ankles. Get low and grip the stick (or rake or broom). Become one with the stick. Look yourself in the eyes (in the mirror) and say, "I'm here, right now, what do you got?", repeat, louder. Repeat and get lower. Find your stance. Focus on your connection to the earth. Pull up a painful moment from the past and change the script. Bring up the unfinish emotion and feel it. Remind yourself you are safe. [16:00] Paul introduces Dusty. Dusty is from Bozeman, MT. He's a finance director for a local non-profit and just got engaged yesterday! For fun he likes to play rec sports. He goes hunting, camping, hiking and fishing in the beautiful weather he has in Bozeman. [20:50] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Dusty said the day before his last drink was spent watching sports and he blacked out around 9:30pm. The next day his friend was leaving for an around-the-world trip and he went to her leaving drinks. The bartender that night came up to him and explained that if they were working that night Dusty would have been kicked out for his behavior the night before. Another friend of his, he had kicked in the backside and when he saw her, he saw fear in her eyes when she looked at him. He paid his tab and left the bar. Never touched alcohol again. His losing control was a big motivator for him to stay sober. [25:34] When did you find community? Dusty said he's been very lucky to have known Paul Churchill for a while before he quit. Paul was the first person he told he quit drinking and knew that community would be there for him. At the time Recovery Elevator was just getting started and Dusty participated. He was surprised how easy it was for him to share his story. [30:11] How have the years changed for you? Dusty said the 1st year was exactly that, just getting through the 1st year without a drink. In year 2 the real healing began. In 2019 was when he realized alcohol was the symptom, not the problem. He grew up with a verbally abusive father and being scared as a child, his option was to freeze and stay quiet. Coming into year 5 he's begun therapy to understand the deep stuff that is why he reached for alcohol. [37:17] What was on your heart yesterday? Dusty said yesterday reflecting on the timeline of his life and his drinking was a lot for him. There was anger and sadness about the pain he experienced growing up. He was dwelling a little on the negative and he was able to purge it and get it out. [43:51] How has the relationship with yourself changed over the last 5 years? Dusty said he loves himself a lot more and continues to work on that. He has more confidence. Loving himself better lets him love the world better as well. Dusty now gives himself grace and is no longer his own worst critic. His physical appearance and health overall has changed drastically for the better. [46:27] When the shame and guilt from your initial motivator decreased, what filled its place as a new motivator? Dusty said his pink cloud lasted for years. He could see how much better his life was from walking away from alcohol. Nothing in his life got worse, everything got better. So, the idea of taking one drink he knew would make his life worse again. [48:55] Do you still get cravings? Dusty said no, not anymore. Very few moments have made him want to have a drink. [49:38] What do you do now when life throws you a curveball? Dusty said exercise works for him. He goes for a run and gets in the zone. He will also try to sit with the emotions and see where it's coming from. He's lucky to have close friends and family and he can talk to them. [54:05] Rapid Fire Round If you could talk to day 1 Dusty, what would you say? Dusty, sit with the shame for a while, but don't dwell on it forever. Use it for fuel. Enjoy the ride, all the ups and downs. What has recovery made possible for you? He is more of a leader now. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Ben & Jerry's AmeriCone Dream or Cherry Garcia What book are you reading right now? He's reading a book about crows and ravens. You may have to say adios to booze... If you are a recurring guest on the Recovery Elevator podcast! Paul's recap: 2020- what happened?! As per the Mayan Calendar: there is a gigantic evolutionary leap that the race needs to go through. It's a leap through consciousness, not a physical leap. Those with addiction are forced to go within and address our own inner discomfort. Because we didn't have a choice. Realizing our inner world is more real than the outer world. Upcoming events, retreats and courses: You can find more information about our events here. Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off yo

Desi took her last drink July 21, 2018. With just over 2 years away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF). If you haven't checked out the RE merchandise...what are you waiting for?? You can see what we have available here! Odette's weekly installment of: Finding your Better You….. Hard days happen for everyone and don't believe that highlight reel you see on Instagram! Odette calls these "dip days". It's ok to not thrive every single day, it's ok to let feelings pass, it's ok to be honest and you are not alone. 2020 is here to remind us we are stronger than we think and also what grief feels like. Odette wants to share her tools for what helps her during these dip days. Eat Drink lots of water Meditate Laugh Remind yourself daily that you are not your productivity levels. Take your medications (if you are on any!) [7:34] Odette introduces Desi. Desi is 30 years old and lives in Michigan. She is finished up her Master's in social work at University of Michigan (go blue!). In her spare time, she coaches high school lacrosse which is a huge passion of hers. [12:38] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Desi said her journey started at the age of 7 with an eating disorder after being sexually abused. At the age of 14 a cousin passed away and that was a big turning point for her. Her family didn't talk about emotions. And around this time, she started drinking as well. Her first drink wasn't normal, and it flipped a switch: she wanted more. In college she made friends with a group of people who "didn't make wise decisions" so neither did she. Life was very hard for Desi during this. In college she met another woman, Vera, who became her sister and she credits Vera with saving her life. In 2009 she began to have chest pains, which was always diagnosed as "anxiety", but Desi knew it wasn't. In 2012 her sister Lauren got her into a treatment center for her eating disorder. In her second time in ED rehab she tried to get sober. However, Desi considered herself a dry drunk. November 2014 she began drinking again. [34:04] When you came out of treatment were you frustrated that you also had to remove alcohol? Desi said she didn't even think she had a problem with alcohol at first. She knew her eating disorder was killing her and that was her focus. She held onto all the other toxic things so she could cope. Desi was scared if she didn't have other things to help her get through life. [39:41] Tell me about the first couple months of your sobriety. Desi said she worked a program with AA. She had severe withdrawal symptoms, but she was able to talk about it in AA. There was nothing left to hide, and Desi was very honest in her shares. She reflected back on what made her want to quit drinking in the first place. Staying connected and finding community was what helped. [44:09] Did your anxiety get better? Desi said yes. While she's a naturally anxious person, her anxiety has leveled. She was able to get off medication. Where her anxiety used to sit is no longer there. She experiences anxiety just like other people do, because that's life. [46:28] Tell me about sharing openly. Desi said she needed to be able to share, she looks at it as a duty. Her sharing helps other people. She tells her story for those close to her that passed away and weren't able to tell theirs. [50:50] Rapid Fire Round If you could talk to day 1 Desi, what would you say? Hold, have hope, let people help you, and listen to others. What are you excited about right now? An internship at UofM. What's your go to response when someone offers you a drink? No, I'm good. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners that are thinking about ditching the booze? If you can think of best case scenario for your life, just know that without alcohol it's 100% possible. You may have to say adios to booze... If you sneak out, get drunk, come back home, fall down the stairs, break your leg running to the bathroom to throw up. Odette's challenge this week: Reach you, Odette is here for you. Upcoming events, retreats and courses: You can find more information about our events here. Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link. The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Resources: Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – We took the stairs down, we gotta take the elevator back up, we can do this– I love you guys"

Karla took her last drink December 31, 2018. With 583 away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF). Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why and the How. The new course will start November 11th, 2020. It's FREE for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee. Odette's weekly installment of: Finding your Better You….. Melanie Beattie says "What would happen if we let go of our camouflage of adaptation? What would happen if we owned our power to be ourselves? Would people still like us? Would they go away? Would they become angry? There comes a time when we become willing and ready to take that risk. To continue growing, and living with ourselves, we realize we must liberate ourselves" It's very vulnerable to show up as our authentic selves. The more we pursue a life away from alcohol the more we walk to liberate ourselves. The humble confidence that shows up allows us to show up authentically. Remember, there's only one you. [7:10] Odette introduces Karla. Karla is 33, grew up in the suburbs of Los Angeles and has lived in San Francisco for the past 7 years. She is an executive assistant for a tech company in the Bay area. She lives with her partner (fiancé!) and her puppy. For fun she's been working on some passion projects, SoberIRL is one of those! [10:29] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Karla said she started drinking when she was 19. She was studying abroad and hadn't yet made friends. Drinking was an easy way to make friends. She mimicked their style of drinking. Karla called herself a "weekend warrior" in her style of drinking. It didn't occur to her until after she stopped drinking that her drinking was beyond what someone for her stature should. By the time she was 21 she knew she had a problem. Between brown outs and black outs she was piecing together the nights out with her friends. The juxtaposition between Karla the party girl and Karla the high achiever was a push and pull she felt deeply, but she didn't know how to stop drinking. [18:07] Where you stuck in this cycle for a long time? Karla said she began seeing an alcohol counselor around the age of 25. The recommendation was to stop drinking, which she wasn't ready for because it was also her social life. In July 2018 she was able to get 45 days. Using that time, she sought out other methods of getting sober. Until her birthday and then she drank again. Finally, on New Year's Eve she was so hung over from the night before she couldn't go with her partner to a party, and that was it for her. [23:29] Tell me about the beginning of your sobriety. Karla said she still felt those first 45 days, she was being punished because she couldn't drink. This time around she didn't tell anyone she was restarting, and she wanted to try to be kind to herself this time. She gave herself the grace to accept that this is difficult. She taught herself that not every thought that came into her mind was true. [28:51] How did you find your community? Karla said at first it was all on Instagram. She followed Holly on Instagram and drew a lot of strength from her because she saw similarities in Holly's story. Also Bridge Club through Tempest was the first time she sat with others who wanted to live this life the same way. Karla knew she needed to find sober friends. With 8 months sober she attended the Recovery Elevator Bozeman retreat in 2019 and she felt herself really start to open up and found the ability to have fun and live life sober. [34:21] Tell me how you feel now being an advocate for other people looking to get sober? Karla said she never thought she would be in this position. She wanted to share being an openly sober Latina as she couldn't find any others. She wants people to see that they can have fun and be a normal human at the same time. (Karla_is_Sober) [37:22] Tell me about how you share so you can be the person you needed when trying to get sober. Karla said she always felt because she was so high functioning, she couldn't have a problem with alcohol. She told herself everything she was doing was normal. Karla wants to shed the shame and let people know that if alcohol isn't serving you anymore, you can stop. Success doesn't mean happiness. Karla wants people to know that people can turn their lives around and life can be so much more fulfilling. [43:45] Do you get cravings? Karla said not really at this point. It's not a physical craving, it's an emotional craving and it's fleeting. [45:41] Rapid Fire Round What is your go to response when you go to a party and someone offers you a drink? No thanks! What's your favorite NA beverage? LaCroix Pamplemousse What's a lightbulb moment you've had in the journey? PASS What is your favorite ice cream flavour? Mint chocolate chip What would you say to Karla on day 1? I love you and I'm so proud of you What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners that are thinking abou

Megan took her last drink April 20, 2020. With 108 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF). Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why and the How. The new course will start November 11th, 2020. It's FREE for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee. Odette's weekly installment of: Finding the Better You….. Armchair Expert: Day 7 Odette discusses Dax Shepard and the recent restarting of his sobriety clock. She appreciates how he is always seeking a life build in honesty and finding moment of gratefulness. What connects all of us is a feeling. What connects us all is finding our way through this book of recovery. Different chapters and experiences but all rooted in the same goal. We are not alone. Keep protecting your energy. [10:26] Odette introduces Megan. Megan lives in Montreal, Canada and is 33 years old. She lives with her partner Tim. She is a cook at a vegan restaurant. For fun she paints and draws and loves animal portraits. [17:29] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Megan said she drank a few times drinking growing up. Her parents both drank in the home and it was very normal. She got drunk for the first time when she was 17 or 18. It allowed her to breakout of her shell and be social. Moving to Montreal it became even more "normal". It is very much a part of the culture. It changed from being out and drinking, to drinking at home, to drinking at home alone. She began combining anxiety medication with alcohol and would black out. Megan questioned her drinking in her mid 20s due to so many different events. In March of 2020 she had all the alcohol that was meant for her wedding and in 30 days' time drank all it. It was meant to be for 80 people. [28:43] What happened in April of this year that made you stop drinking? Megan said it was because she ran out of alcohol. She paused and realized she had drank about $800 worth of alcohol. Megan found herself filled with shame and she realized that the way she drank it would never be enough until she was dead. [34:08] Tell me about the first few weeks after you stopped. Megan said it's a little hard to remember the time right after she quit. She remembers being exuberant in finding others and creating connections. Her sleep was a little off but she was also riding the pink cloud. As time went on, she wanted to get off anti-depressants. Now she's starting to find an equilibrium. She can finally think properly. [39:33] Tell me more about your new job and being sober. Megan said she mentioned in the cover letter and again in the job interview that she is in recovery. She positioned it as an asset! They are really respectful of her being sober from alcohol. [44:25] Tell me about your relationship with your partner now. Megan said her partner already started out as a wicked person. He was concerned for her but also understood that the desire to stop drinking had to come from her. He's really proud of her and expresses that to her. [46:36] Rapid Fire Round If you could talk to day 1 Megan what would you say? You are going to flourish! What is a lightbulb moment you've had in this journey? That I am capable, and I am worth a lot. Stop telling myself bullshit. What's your favorite AF beverage? Coffee! Coffee with oat milk, iced coffee, black coffee. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners that are thinking about ditching the booze? Just take it day by day but remember to believe in yourself. You are capable and strong and you will keep amazing yourself. You may have to say adios to booze... If you drank all your wedding booze in one month that was intended for 80 people. Odette's challenge this week: Everyone is fighting their own battle and try not to judge anyone else. We need kindness and love, more than ever. Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link. Upcoming events, retreats and courses: Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why and the How. The new course will start 11/10/20. It's FREE for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee. You can find more information about our events The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Resources: Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – "Stay humble and stay smiling – I love you guys"

DeeDee took her last drink May 5, 2020. With 91 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF). This weekend is Recovery Elevator's first ever REgionals! Join us for our online zoom conference this October 23-24th. This event is FREE for Café RE Members only. Not a member yet?! Sign up here and use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Odette's weekly installment of: Finding the Better You….. After watching the Social Dilemma on Netflix Odette has some thoughts about social media and its place in our lives. She wants us to continue to protect our energy and set boundaries. Talk about it. Uninstall apps, unfollow people, unsubscribe from emails. Turn off notifications. Look for chrome extensions that removed clickbait. Fact check yourself. Delay giving devices to children. Try to have devices out of your bedroom. [11:37] Odette introduces DeeDee. DeeDee lives in Santa Barbara, California and is 29 years old. She lives with her finance and their 2 dogs. For work, DeeDee is the Director of Development for a non-profit. For fun she's trying to figure that out still, but recently she's begun crafting again and making candles. [15:50] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? DeeDee grew up being aware of alcohol because alcoholism runs in her family. Her father got sober 14 years ago. She didn't drink a lot in high school. When she turned 21, she drank to fit in, but even then, didn't really like alcohol. In the beginning of 2013, she noticed that she drew a correlation between being loved and being intoxicated. Her partner at the time only expressed love when he was drunk. In 2017 DeeDee realized she was drinking alone. In 2018/2019 she dabbled in sobriety for short periods of time. She got engaged in late 2019 and they used that excuse for more drinking to "celebrate". [22:11] Did you ever connect the dots of alcohol being a problem in your family and your own drinking? DeeDee said she was in denial for a lot of it. She didn't know a lot of women who had problems with alcohol, so she rationalized that it was only the men in her family who had a problem. [23:38] Did you and your finance decide together to quit drinking? DeeDee said they came to the conclusion of quitting drinking on their own, but also at the same time. During early sobriety they both experienced different things and she has learned how to set different expectations based on their own individual experiences. [26:28] Tell me about the last 90 days. DeeDee said in the beginning she was very focused on how to live a sober life and what that was going to look like for her. She was seeing changes in her thought patterns. DeeDee focused on finding out why she is the way she is. After a month or so, she began to try and find balance in her life and her recovery. [31:17] How did the conversation go with your father when you told him you weren't drinking? DeeDee said it happened on May 5th 2020. He's been incredibly supportive. The conversation was very matter of fact and easy for her. Both her parents were there, and they met her with understanding. [32:52] What do you do when you get a craving? DeeDee said she has more emotional cravings then physical cravings. Seeing people with a glass of wine on a patio on a Friday afternoon makes her want that feeling, not the wine. That connection and relaxation is what she's looking for. Now she plays the tape forward, knowing that it will not ever just be one glass of wine. Instead now she chooses a different action, be it a walk or a podcast or ice cream. [36:47] What's your favorite AF drink now? DeeDee said sparkling water and also making a fun mocktails. [38:54] What you been able to identify any emotional triggers? DeeDee said she's learned that she has emotional triggers when she's feeling had a difficult day or moment. She wants to sit on the couch and feel like the alcohol is helping her unwind. Leaning her emotions are temporary has been huge. [41:46] Have you gotten any pushback from people? DeeDee said she started posting on an Instagram account she had that was mostly filled with followers she didn't know in real life. It was easier for her to open up and share, giving her confidence to move onto people in her real life. It was liberating when she decided to post on her "real" account where she was followed by people in her real life. She received awesome feedback and responses. [45:57] Rapid Fire Round If you could talk to day 1 DeeDee what would you say? In this moment, exactly where you are, you are enough. What is a lightbulb moment you've had in this journey? The opposite of addiction is connection and how true this statement is. What are you excited about right now? Getting married and starting a life together and doing it without booze. What is your favorite ice cream flavour? Chocolate chip cookie dough What are some of your favorite resources in recovery? Recovery Elevator podcast, Recovery Happy Hour podcast, AA

Brandon took his last drink October 28, 2018. With 645 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette's weekly installment of: Finding the Better You….. Now more than ever we need to stay rooted in kindness and live with the belief that people are just doing the best they can. In sobriety Odette has found she can give more grace to others because she is giving herself more grace and compassion. Looking at perfectionism, it doesn't actually yield perfect results. It instead creates feelings of guilt, shame, stress, addiction, loneliness and isolation. Unsubscribe from perfectionism and just be yourself. Take care of yourself and everything else will take care of itself. And that's the real gift. [7:08] Odette introduces Brandon. Brandon lives in Orlando, Florida with his wife and son. He's a social media manager. For fun he likes to go on adventures with his son, he plays music and enjoys being creative. [10:42] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Brandon said he started drinking at the age of 21, he wasn't interested in drinking while growing up. He was focused on sports and playing in bands. His first couple years of drinking he didn't suffer the usual repercussions. At about 3 years in he began to experience hangovers. College drinking helped him deal with his anxiety. Brandon noticed the years after college he was using alcohol as a crutch. He found himself turning to alcohol for to handle anything that life threw at him. He was trying to show a front of perfectionism while internally struggling so much. [19:24] Did your wife every approach you about your drinking? Brandon said his wife would question sometimes the beer(s) he would have with dinner. He could tell she knew something was wrong. His rock bottom was a Halloween party in 2018 where he drank too much and they had a fight. She was 7 months pregnant and expressed concern about having to do the next stage of life alone. That was enough for him. [29:11] Talk to me more about the time right after you stopped drinking. Brandon said he was prepared for it to be hell but didn't consider all the other things that go into it. He was open with his wife and friends. He turned to fitness to keep his mind moving. He took things hour by hour and focused just on the moment he was in. Brandon discovered a confidence in himself he didn't know was there. [35:18] Do you still get cravings? Brandon said no, but there are times where it sounds good to take the edge off with alcohol. [36:27] What's in your toolbox? Brandon said his wife is his biggest support. The /r/stopdrinking Reddit page. The idea of sharing with others gives him motivation. [39:32] Do you ever get push back from people? Brandon said yes, he does. He feels because he dealt with it silently for so many years, people had a hard time understanding the level of drinking he had come to achieve. [44:57] Rapid Fire Round If you could talk to younger Brandon what would you say? Listen to your parents, don't try it. What is your go to NA beverage? Sparkling water. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are thinking about ditching the booze? Listen to your gut. What's in your mind is the truth. There's no better time than now. You may have to say adios to booze... If you're in a meeting at 2pm and you're thinking about what you're going to drink tonight. Odette's challenge this week: Try to see yourself differently this week. Be more compassionate when you make a mistake. Give people in your life the benefit of the doubt. Be nice to strangers. Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link. Upcoming events, retreats and courses: Recovery Elevator's first ever REgionals! Join us for our online zoom conference this October 23-24th. This event is FREE for Café RE Members only. Not a member yet?! Sign up here and use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why and the How. The new course will start 11/10/20. It's FREE for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee. You can find more information about our events here. The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Resources: Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – "Believing we are all doing the best we can, can make the world a better place – I love you guys"

Erin took her last drink May 31, 2019. With 488 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette's weekly installment of: Finding the Better You….. Most long-term decisions have to be rooted in a place of love and not of fear. This applies to recovery and leads to the question, "What has recovery made possible for you?" This question helps to build the bridge from fear to love. Hearing stories of hope from others send out waves of survival. As you share your story, you don't know who's listening and how that might change the trajectory of their life. Odette chooses to live in the solution and show others, specifically her family, what's possible. [6:23] Odette introduces Erin. Erin and her family split time between New Hampshire and Sedona, AZ. She is married with 2 children, ages 1 & 3, she is a stay at home mom. For fun she does yoga, plays with her children, exercises and is getting to know her body. [9:35] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Erin said she first took a drink when she was 14. While that drink wasn't a problem, she began to experiment. The family setting was one where there was drinking and so it was part of what she knew growing up. Her parents separated when she was 17 and she rebelled from there. At 18, she went to the University of New Hampshire, which is a large party school. Drinking was part of the culture and it was just what everyone was doing. Erin can look back now and see how toxic it was, especially for her. [12:03] Can you expand on your college years? Her sophomore year, she tried sobriety. She took some time off college and did a "major health cleanse". However, when she returned, the habits also returned. She convinced herself she could moderate. [13:14] Did you transition after college into a lifestyle that allowed you to maintain a frequency of binge drinking? Erin said she has lived all over the place and those geographic moves are part of her story with alcohol. With periods of binge drinking and sadness coupled with periods of living with a healthy focus. Looking back, she can see she was running from her feelings and not being able to be with herself. [15:33] What was your style of drinking and did anyone ever approach you about it while you were drinking? Erin said she did surround herself with heavy drinkers so she could ignore the reality, there were also consequences to her drinking. She married her first husband in 2010 and they were divorced in 2012. He would speak to her about her drinking. When they separated, she took herself to her first AA meeting. However, a relapse of Lyme disease and the toll the separation was taking on her, she continued to drink daily. Erin moved with her mother to Sedona, AZ and jumped into the AA community. She would wake up, go to a meeting, go to work at a health center and then come home and get drunk. This was when she saw that alcohol was turning her into 2 completely separate people. [21:00] Tell me about your pregnancy and the last few years. Erin said she got pregnant in 2016 and was able to stay sober through her pregnancy. She felt the highs and lows of pregnancy very severely and not having alcohol to help her numb was part of that. When her daughter was around 3 or 4 months, she convinced herself again she could moderate. She got pregnant with her son and again stayed sober throughout, but the pattern started again in the 4th trimester. In May 2019, she woke up violently ill and that was it. [27:08] Tell me what you do now when you have one of these tough emotions. Erin said she is getting to know herself again as a highly sensitive person (HSP). She taps into a lot of the digital community and is exploring the psychologic makeup of being an empath. She's learning to lean in and explore the power of breath. [29:40] Did you go back to AA? Erin said she hasn't gone back to AA yet (busy raising the future!) but has found there are so many options out there for her online. [32:02] How has the response been from people? Erin said overall the response has been supportive. Those closest to her knew she had a problem. Her husband has also stopped drinking in support of her. [37:21] Has your creativity started to spark? Erin said absolutely. She's now made the choice to "join the human race" and to love herself. She makes talking about recovery part of her everyday life and puts herself out there without shame. [40:28] Rapid Fire Round If you could talk to younger Erin what would you say? You're enough and take care of yourself. What is a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? I'm ok in this moment and there is a purpose for why I am here. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate ice cream What are some of your favorite resources in recovery? Podcasts, yoga and meditation, the miracle morning idea and enjoying not being hung over. Getting outside with her kids. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are thinking about di

Rob took his last drink June 5, 2019. With over one year away from alcohol (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette's weekly installment of: Finding the Better You….. When we say no to alcohol, we are saying yes to a better life. Once the alcohol is left behind some people pick back up old hobbies, others go off to do things they thought they would never do. Give yourself some grace when you quit, and you are trying to figure out what you like to do now. Go for it, the possibilities are endless. Is how we are choosing to spend our time after quitting drinking bringing us peace? It becomes our responsibility to protect our peace and also seek peace. [6:22] Odette introduces Rob. Rob is 55 and lives in Littleton, CO. He has been married to his wife for 30 years, they have 2 grown boys. Rob likes adventure sports, specifically motorbike adventuring. He also enjoys hiking, being outdoors. He very much loves what Colorado has to offer. [9:34] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Rob said he moved from rural Indiana in 1978 to Denver, CO and that's when alcohol became a big part of his life. Stemming from his desire to fit into a new school as a kid, he began drinking. He also took a job at a warehouse where the older employees found it funny to corrupt the 15 year old preachers kid. His parents found out and they put a stop to it. He began leading a dual life, the adrenaline seeker mountain climber motorcycle rider vs going to church 5 times a week. On November 11, 2012 his close friend Ted passes away from cancer. Rob didn't know how to handle those feelings and after this he began drinking at home. By the end he was blacking out 3-5 nights a week. [17:02] Did you ever think to yourself "I might have a drinking problem?" Rob said he didn't even have that thought. The mentality around the group he was in was "work hard, play hard". [17:32] After Ted passed, were you conscious of the fact that you were using alcohol to hide the pain? Rob said that never occurred to him until he was in recovery. [19:12] Tell me about after your wife left? Rob said he gained enough clarity that night to realize the choice was alcohol or his marriage. He chose to fight for his marriage and that night was his last drink. That next morning on his drive to work, rather than listening to his usual drive music, he listened to a podcast about recovery. That night he found an AA meeting as well. [25:15] Tell me about the resentment you had and when you felt the shift. Rob said it was a progression for him. He didn't really find a home until he found Café RE in September 2019. He felt the connections become real. [28:26] Tell me about those first few months after you quit. Rob said at 4 months he had done a lot of the brain work. He was trying to connect to his emotions and doing real work on himself. Then in October 2019, a driver ran a red light and collided with the side of his car going 55 MPH. He suffered a traumatic brain injury. While physically ok, he had to/has to work hard to get back to himself and heal himself, again. [35:00] Do you still get cravings and how do you handle them? Rob said he does still get cravings. And when he does, he goes into his sobriety toolbox. The first thing he does is wait 20 minutes and then he has to figure out why the craving happened. If that doesn't work he page 84's his sponsor. This means: working the steps in your everyday life. [39:16] Do you ever get push back from people when you tell them you don't drink? Rob said no one gives him push back. [40:33] Rapid Fire Round What is a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? That first night at AA, I'm ok and I'm not alone. If you could talk to day 1 Rob, what would you say? 10 deep breaths and give yourself a big hug. What are you excited about right now? Butt Burner Gold which is 1500 miles in 24 hours on a motorcycle. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are thinking about ditching the booze? Stick around. Do the work. It's worth it. One day you will wake up and see that it's all worth it, you have this nice little life now. You may have to say adios to booze... If you got kicked out of public school for drinking and your parents put you into a parochial school and you show up to bible study drunk. Odette's challenge this week: Close your eyes for a few minutes and think about the things that bring you peace. Drop them down and keep them close. Get in the habit of looking for this peaceful feeling. Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link. Upcoming events, retreats and courses: Recovery Elevator's first ever REgionals! Join us for our online zoom conference this October 23-24th. This event is for Café RE Members only. Not a member yet?! Sign up here and use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. D

Will took his last drink April 10, 2018. With just over 2 years away from alcohol (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette's weekly installment of: Finding the Better You….. Navigating through tough times. Removing alcohol allows you to actually do something about a problem, however sometimes without alcohol in front of it, a problem can present more clearly. It's hard to do the hard thing and easy to pretend our problems aren't really there. We have a choice to accept the problem (the storm) as it presents itself and its aftereffects as part of a life without alcohol. [7:01] Odette introduces Will. Will is 43 and lives in Queens, NY. He's an IT consultant and married with a dog. For fun he loves to be outdoors, surfing, live music, cooking, biking, running and traveling. [9:34] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Will said he was 12 when he has his first drink on vacation, but he considers his real entrance to alcohol was around the age of 15. It dissolved the anxiety he felt in social situations. In college he went full force into drinking and it quickly became a daily habit. He sought out others who drank like he did. [12:57] Were you a high performer in school? Will said alcohol did impact his school work. He had no direction for what he wanted to do the rest of his life. He found himself drinking in exchange for doing things he loved. [14:22] What happened after college? Will said followed a band he loved around the country and fully fell into the drinking and partying culture. [16:18] Did you ever question your drinking? Will said no, because he had surrounded himself with a culture of drinking and partying. So, he was around it and it was normalized within his circle. [18:23] Walk me through your next life chapter? Will said he moved to Washington state with his now wife and went back to school. There was less drinking, and he was able to focus on his schoolwork and life. He found some balance mixed in with the pockets of crazy times. Once he finished school he moved back to New York and began work, but also was staying out late drinking. He noticed the change in his physical alcohol dependance at this moment. [22:34] Did you introduce moderation rules? Will said he attempted moderation at home and it simply evaporated over time. [23:21] Did you start having conversations with your wife about this? Will said him and his wife were both "in it" at the time. (She is also now in recovery.) There was enabling happening and it was difficult to navigate. [24:05] Did you have a rock bottom? Will said he sought out a doctor to prescribe him something to help him get through the physical dependency. However, looking back, that was just another layer onto addiction. This went on for years with a chaotic life and drinking. He sought treatment after two friends expressed concern in 2016. He did a 28-day inpatient program. While he wasn't ready fully for recovery, but at the same time wanted to change his life. He made it through but relapsed within 60 days. [29:14] Walk me through 2016 – 2018. Will said he was trying in those two years, but it seemed impossible. While he was in and out of the AA rooms, he wasn't doing the work that he was told was needed. April 10, 2018, he entered a detox again after 3 days of a mental psychosis. [33:13] What changed this time? Will said there was enough pain in his life, he realized he needed to make a change. [34:30] Do you still get cravings? Will said not really, he gets fleeting thoughts. [34:40] What your biggest way of coping with uncomfortable feelings? Will said you get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Once he started to take his sobriety seriously, he accepted the program he was being told to work. He can now make sense of his feelings without alcohol numbing them down. There's purpose in the struggles we go through. [37:45] Have you healed the nerve damage in your feet at all? Will said the rest of his body has healed which helps the pain overall. That makes the nerve pain manageable as a whole. He looks at the pain as a high power telling him to move. So that's actually the gift that came from all this. [40:12] When you left treatment, what was your plan? Will said he jumped into AA. He was open to anything recovery related. [43:55] What's your favorite NA drink? Will said he's a club soda guy. Nothing fancy. [44:27] Have you ever gotten push back from people? Will said no one has given him pushback on his desire to lead a life without alcohol. But also, that's a little telling to the condition he was in, everyone could see he needed help. [45:47] Rapid Fire Round If you could talk to day 1 Will, what would you say? You're 100% worth it and you are a lot stronger than you could ever imagine. What are you excited about right now? Grateful to have the tools that he has and to see where this takes us and the ability to give back. What's your favorite flavor of ice cream? Salted caramel anything. What are

Kevin took his last drink April 11, 2020. With just over 3 months away from alcohol (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette's weekly installment of: Finding the Better You….. Receiving feedback and how to do better. After a negative comment / feedback from a listener, Odette took the comments and the feedback and is seeing this as an opportunity to do better. It seems these days that "do better" is being used more and explored. This was the universe reminding her that she is worthy, the listener is worthy, and everyone is worthy. She has gratitude and love for the listener because they allowed to her see something from a different perspective. If you have feedback, please send an email to Odette. [7:23] Odette introduces Kevin. Kevin is 59 and originally from Philadelphia, he has lives in Florida for the past 20 years. He's a printer and works for the schoolboard. He's married and loves cooking, traveling and doing charcoal portraits. [9:13] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Kevin said that when he was 7, he became the drink maker at his grandparents' card games. He would have some whiskey and ginger ale himself. In 4th grade he was bullied, so he would go home at lunch to eat but also to do a few shots of liquor so he could deal with that. In high school he fell in with a crowd that drank and also sold drugs. He continued in that pattern until he met his now wife at the age of 33. He quit the drugs, but his drinking continued to escalate. In 2017 he spent 3 days in a psych ward, leaving there he sent to AA and a counselor, but it never really took, and he relapsed. [12:26] Did anybody notice that all this was happening when you were so young? Kevin said that he was a latch key kid, so his use of alcohol wasn't noticed. And when he was in high school, he was always out of the house and with friends, so again, it wasn't noticed. However, he says that while in high school he knew he had a bad alcohol problem on his hands. [14:22] Did you ever reach out to somebody in those early days or was alcohol normalized in your family? Kevin said his grandfather owned a bar and his parents had an active social life and he was a bartender at different points, so alcohol was always a part of his life. [15:03] How did alcohol cause conflict in your marriage(s)? Kevin said in his first marriage they were both very immature and it wasn't ever going to last. With his second wife, he emulated her and wanted her to be proud of him. It never worked out however and he felt he was always disappointing her. [16:40] What happened that made you want to reach out and get help? Kevin said there were a lot of moments. Between injuries, unhealthy arguments and car accidents there were lots of red flags. He always thought he had it under control. He doesn't have an off switch. [18:55] What happened in April of this year? Kevin said this time he wanted to get sober and committed to AA, he didn't have another second chance in him. He was tired of playing the alcohol game, wondering where he would get more and having alcohol control his life. [20:49] What do you do when you get a craving? Kevin said he changes his environment right away. He gets out of where he is and tries to get a new headspace. In about 30 minutes time the craving is gone. He doesn't call them alcohol cravings, but more the idea of alcohol gets in his brain. Kevin uses the Merriam Webster app and it gives him a "word of the day". He takes that word and tries to apply it to his sobriety throughout the day. This gives him a fresh perspective to sobriety over and over. [23:00] Tell me about your family dynamics? Kevin said for 24 years he was a tornado leaving a path of devastation through his marriage. They are trying to figure things out and he wants his wife to be happy and have a good life. [26:02] What is your favorite thing about the AA program? Kevin said the communication and connection with other people in recovery. [28:20] Are there any other resources that have been helping you in this journey? Kevin said he always has something going on to fill his time. Between podcasts and reading or going to meetings. [28:58] What's your favorite NA drink? Iced coffee, with coffee ice cubes. [29:36] Did you notice a change in your sugar intake? Kevin said he never had a sweet tooth until he stopped drinking. But now he adds honey to his oats! He's trying to scale back his sugar intake. [30:52] What's your go-to response when someone offers you a drink? Kevin said he tells people "I'm an alcohol and I'm living it sober". He has no reservations about telling people. [31:30] Do you notice any pushback from people who you tell? Kevin said the friends he has in Florida are accepting and have been nothing but positive. [33:07] What are you excited about right now? Kevin is excited about the future. He wants to get involved with helping other people in recovery. [34:47] Has your sleep improved? Kevin said he wasn't a gre

Taylor took his last drink June 7, 2019. With just over 13 months away from alcohol (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette's weekly installment of: Finding the Better You….. WAIT WAIT! It's Paul's 6 year Sober-versary! So instead we bring you Paul's 6 big insights since his handing off the podcast to Odette. People are struggling right now due to Covid, but let's not label this as a problem. Let's go within and have some spiritual growth. Turn off the news. The ego always sets its own trap. Pets are the reason the human race hasn't imploded yet. He has gained empathy. It's never too late to accomplish a goal. Bonus insight: Paul's parents are RAD! [19:08] Paul introduces Taylor. Taylor is 30 years old and lives in Thornton, Colorado with his two dogs, Harley and Rooster. While he's lived in many places over the years, he grew up in Sacramento, California and now is in Colorado. He loves walking his dogs, record and write music, rock climbing, mountain biking, photography, hiking, skiing, snowboarding, wakeboarding, video editing and D&D. He likes to try all the hobbies now. [23:54] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Taylor said he started exploring alcohol around age 14. He wanted to see what alcohol was all about. He didn't really touch alcohol again until he was about 16, mostly in High School he smoked weed. However, alcohol did allow him to fit in. His father and stepmother caught him smoking weed in college and made the decision to send him to live with his mother. This started his "victims' story" because he wasn't allowed to smoke weed anymore, so he was "forced to drink alcohol". He saw his career grow however by quitting smoking weed, but there was alcohol ever present. At 26 he found himself trying to moderate alcohol. Just before he deployed to Afghanistan, he thought to stop drinking a few days before, and he found himself in withdrawals. After not drinking while overseas, he ordered a drink on the plane home. Being home he was again trying to moderate. [33:53] Tell me about going back to drinking after returning from Afghanistan? Taylor said that he understood that he had seen the "other side of life" and you can never really go back. Alcohol just isn't the same and he knew he was doomed. After his girlfriend left, was his rock bottom moment. [42:19] Walk me through those first 30 days? Taylor said he fully dove into recovery: "I sober like I drank". When his father left, he kept going to therapy and AA. His pink cloud lasted 3 months and the energies to stay sober were stronger than his desire to drink. He found a lot of humility and got a sponsor and started working the steps. [47:09] Can you share with listeners the difference between your 29th and your 30th birthdays? Taylor said on his 29th birthday was in his first 30 days of sobriety. He sat at home and he didn't have anything to do or anyone to hang out with. He called a newfound AA friend and he came over and they watched TV together. His 30th birthday he had 20 people show up to his birthday, from all parts of his life. He was humbled in that moment of the work that he had done to be the authentic Taylor. [50:44] Do you still get cravings? Taylor said yes. His alter drinking ego is named Gregory and he's no longer the enemy of Taylor. Gregory still tries to get him to drinking, but he can have the conversation with Gregory about why they aren't going to drink. Taylor treats Gregory like a sick child, with care and compassion. Cravings are now fleeting thoughts. [57:47] Rapid Fire Round What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Peanut butter and banana with candied bacon milkshake What would you say to your younger self? Slow down, be gentle, be kind. What are some of your favorite resources in recovery? People, AA, The Calm App, Nature, Café RE, a picture of a dog. Books: Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn The Tao of Pooh & The Te of Piglet by Benjamin Hoff What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are thinking about ditching the booze? To be kind to yourself today and do the next kind thing. You may have to say adios to booze... If you have driven to another state to buy more alcohol because the stores in your state are closed. Odette's final thoughts this week: Congratulations Paul. You are loved, supported and you are worth it. Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link. Upcoming events, retreats and courses: Recovery Elevator's first ever REgionals! Join us for our online zoom conference this October 23-24th. This event is for Café RE Members only. Not a member yet?! Sign up here and use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why and the How. The new course will start 11/3/20. It's free for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here

Early took their last drink November 16, 2019. With almost 8 months (at the time of recording) this is their story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette's weekly installment of: Finding the Better You. Co-occurring disorders or dual diagnosis describes a person who has more than one medical issue either with two diseases simultaneously or one disease successively after the other. These may be mental or physical. Odette reminds us that we are not alone. [5:23] Odette introduces Early. Early is 32 years old and living off the grid on the Ozark Plateau. They have 3 dogs who are their very best friends. For work they go back and forth between migrant farm work and restaurant service industry. For fun they like to learn about the area surrounding them, the plants and animals. Also chopping wood and the other living in the woods chores. Living off the grid means that Early is not connected to the electrical power grid & any city water or sewage. They have solar power and collect rain water or spring water. They have a composting outhouse. Early says they are connected to the earth in a way that feels more ethical to them. [8:33] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Early said that their whole life has been characterized by very intense addiction. The first drink they had was a stolen Miller High Life at the age of 10. The first blackout came at 14, drinking in the mornings and vomiting in their sleep came at 16. They were drawn to alcohol due to being socially awkward and having few friends. Being a deviant led them into a world of acceptance. As an adult, along with therapy and their diagnosis as being on the spectrum, these factors make sense now. By 18 Early was drinking daily and that's the first time they wanted to stop drinking. Willpower didn't work and AA wasn't the avenue they wanted to take. Between the ages of 18 and 31 they tried many times to quit. [11:44] When did you receive your diagnosis? Early said at 29 there was an incident in which they sexually assaulted their best friend. It never would have happened if they had not been under the influence of alcohol. After that they checked themself into a mental hospital for help. There they were diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Early's therapist post that also diagnosed them with Autisms Spectrum disorder and PTSD from childhood sexual abuse. [13:43] What went through your mind after all these diagnoses? Early said leaving the mental hospital they were detoxed from alcohol and also on new anti-psychotic medicine for brand new diagnoses. They weren't given any tools on how to handle not drinking and their only coping ability from the past 20 years, so to cope, they drank. [16:20] What happened after you left the hospital? Early said that they knew they needed to remove alcohol but had no tools. They would white knuckle it for a few days and then drink. Over time they began to find different tools that worked for them. They incorporated yoga, drinking more water, changing their diet, getting regular sleep (basic needs as Early says!). However, the feeling of shame and the belief that they are a bad person remained. Early began drinking in secret and isolating themselves in-between moments of white knuckling sobriety. [20:12] You seem to have such grit. Where did this come from and how did you find the determination to keep trying? Early said their last night of drinking was an average night of drinking. The change began a year ago when their father passed away suddenly. They saw life from outside their own for the first time. That winter they declared that they would do anything to get sober. They kept trying and using all the tools they had learned over the years of trying to quit. They stopped feeling sorry for themselves and that helped to cut the shame. Early learned they were worthy of love and happiness. They describe themselves as a hard headed stubborn determined person and that might be the grit that is seen. [27:51] How is it balancing and navigating symptoms from these disorders? Early said that preventative maintenance for everything has dulled down many of the symptoms day to day. Every day they make sure they are getting proper nutrition, getting enough sleep, drinking enough water and feeding their soul. Taking care of the body and mind at a baselevel is paramount. [29:58] Tell me about the people surrounding you? Early said they understands they hurt a lot of people and people who left did so for a reason. And now the longer they are sober and people see them out doing the work, people are slowly returning into their life. [34:06] Can you tell me about your routine? Early said that they have a morning routine. Every day they try to wake up at the same time, drink water, walk their dogs, eat, take herbs, do meditation, work on a project that makes them proud (currently building their own house). In the evenings, eat dinner, listen to a podcast, do some meditation and go to sleep at the same time. [35:37] Tell me more about

Anika is the founder of Grüvi and a member of the sober curious community. This is her story of being an entrepreneur and helping to provide NA beverages to those who want them. Odette's weekly installment of: Finding the Better You. You are in charge of setting and honoring your own boundaries. Everyone has different triggers, for example if NA beers and beverages are triggering to you, then you don't have to explore that avenue. You know how to best protect your journey. Stay open and stay curious and protect your energy. [4:53] Odette introduces Anika. Anika is sober curious so she's not very strict on keeping track of dates. But her last drink was right around the beginning of Covid. She is 24 years old and lives in Canada. She enjoys being outdoors, yoga, hiking and traveling. [6:56] Walk me through your sober curious journey. Anika said her sober curious nature came out during her last year at University. She was a social drinker, but in her last year she found herself saying "I don't want to have to go out with friends tonight, because then I will have to drink and then I will be hung over." She experienced all the benefits of a life away from alcohol: better sleep, having more clarity and being more productive. [9:38] Did something spark your thought process to become aware of a life away from alcohol at such a young age? Anika said at first, she was like everyone else with regards to drinking and felt it was a stage in life. But when she created the Grüvi brand was when she really started to see how life can continue on without alcohol and with an alternate beverage. She was able to have a social life without having to have the social lubricant. [11:15] How did Grüvi start? Grüvi launched a year ago in Denver and it's a family business. They have been a health focused family, led by their father. Finding that the NA category was lacking in options pushed them to create Grüvi. [12:34] Where did the name come from? Anika said Grüvi is taking the word "groovy" and making it fun and new. You can be fun and silly and youthful even without alcohol. [14:59] Tell me about the specifics of Grüvi? Currently, there are 4 craft beers and 1 prosecco. The beers are brewed through a process of arrested fermentation, which stops the brewing before any alcohol is introduced. However, because this does go through a fermentation process, there are trace amounts of alcohol (similar to kombuca). The prosecco is 0.0% ABV. They are expanding too! Anika says that hopefully they will be offering a bubbly Rose by the end of summer 2020. [20:58] Are most people open to the dialogue (about this NA movement)? Anika said that after living in Denver for over a year after University and returning to Canada and the friend group there, she was a little nervous. Through this she has realized that her friends support her no matter what. And she told them she is happy with her decision to not be drinking so they should be too. [23:10] What's it like working with your family? Anika said so far, it's been great! They are living together again as a family and it's been smooth. She's enjoying the opportunity to grow closer to her family through this. [33:30] What are you excited about right now? Anika said every day is new and exciting. Grüvi is at that step where they are expanding and growing. This includes new states and being able to be local and accessible to more people. They are expanding their ambassador program and Anika is spearheading this. She loves getting to talk to the community and grow the movement together. [36:50] Rapid Fire Round Other than Grüvi, what's your favorite NA beverage? Being her own bartender and making mocktails or a matcha latte. What is a memorable moment you've had while not drinking? Going out dancing with her friends and enjoying the music. What are some of your favorite resources? Books: The Sober Curious & This Naked Mind Instagram accounts: @Ditchedthedrink @soberbabes What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners who are thinking about ditching the booze? Take the first jump, the first decision is always the hardest. You have nothing to lose. Odette's challenge this week: Give a new tool a try. Maybe you go to an AA meeting for the first time, maybe you join Café Re, maybe you ask a friend to be your accountability partner, maybe you try a new Kombucha flavor or you try a new meditation. If we don't try new things we will never know if it will help us in this journey. Email Odette here and tell her what you tried. Grüvi discount detail: For 15% off your order with Grüvi visit their website and use the promo code recovery elevator at checkout. Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. Upcoming events, retreats and courses: Recovery Elevator's first ever REgionals! Join us for our online zoom conference this October 23-24th. This event is for Café RE Members only. Not a member yet?! Sign up he

Alan took his last drink December 23, 2019. With almost 6 months (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Announcing Recovery Elevator's first ever REgionals! Join us for our online zoom conference this October 23-24th. This event is for Café RE Members only. Not a member yet?! Sign up here and use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Odette's weekly installment of: Finding the Better You. The New York Times article "Should We Be Drinking Less?" is from July 10th, 2020. It's the stark contrast to articles which tout having 1-2 glasses of wine has healthy benefits or how rose will help you through motherhood. The idea that moderate drinking is acceptable actually keeps people drinking because it's seen as ok in the eyes of society. There is a shift that is happening and people are questioning the narrative of what's acceptable when drinking. [7:47] Odette introduces Alan. Alan lives outside Atlanta and is 49 years old. His last drink was the day before Christmas Eve 2019. He drank everything and was blackout drunk that night. His 15 year old daughter had been at a friend's house and came home to find her father passed out in a chair with a spilled glass of wine. The next morning knowing his daughter had seen that changed the course of his life. He didn't want to live that way any longer. Alan's daughter mentioned above is actually one of triplets. He has three 15 year old children and has been married to his wife for almost 18 years. He's in software sales and is trying to figure out what he likes to do for fun now that he's sober. He enjoys health and fitness and has a Peloton. [18:37] Walk me through your drinking career. Alan said that he began drinking in high school and it started out normal, transitioned into college and that drinking atmosphere. College for him was one big party. He continued the pace of college drinking afterwards. He worked for a year in Aspen and drank 7 days a week. He returned to Atlanta, while his drinking slowed, he was always concerned about where the next drink was coming from and this is when his drinking became abnormal. Alan believes he was covering up fear with his drinking. Fear of fitting in, fear of getting a good job, fear of making enough money, fear of meeting the right girl, fear of getting a big title. The fear was gone when he drank. [27:15] Tell me about joining Café RE and how was that first month? Alan said Café RE was the springboard to connection. He didn't realize the connection was so powerful with other people looking to live the same life. After feeling like he had been driving in foggy conditions for 10 years, the fog cleared and he was able to see finally. [33:36] What works for you when you have a craving? Alan said he has learned a ton of tools in Café RE. The biggest one is from Paul's book, Alcohol is SH!T, which says to "play the tape forward". While he can romanticize the drink on his porch, Alan can also now see where that one drink will lead. He's seen the movie, he knows the ending and it's not good! [36:11] How has your family dynamic changed? Alan said about 3 months in his wife looked at him and told him he was like a new person. He is present now. While he's always been a father who was physically there, he always existed in the fog. He told his daughter that he was getting help for his drinking and that's a huge accountability step for him, one he can never go back on. [41:00] What have you discovered about yourself? Alan said he's learned he can juggle a lot of things in life. He has the ability to handle what life throws at him. [42:51] If you could talk to day 1 Alan, what would you say? Connect with likeminded individuals as soon as possible. Do not attempt to do this alone. [43:20] Had you tried to stop drinking previously? Alan said he probably tried about 4 times seriously. But never had connection, resources, understanding or community. He always went at it alone and would call himself a Dry Drunk. [44:52] Rapid Fire Round What do you bring to a BYO party? Bubly, 1 can of Monster Energy drink What is a drinking myth you've seen debunked? Myth: You can't have fun without drinking. Truth: You can have SO much fun without drinking (and the next day!) Do you celebrate milestones? Yes, but the journey is never ending. What are some words of wisdom you can share with listeners? If you are thinking about this path, I promise you life is better without the booze. The fog will lift! You may have to say adios to alcohol... if you're at the airport bar and the gate is right across from you, but you intentionally miss your flight so you can keep drinking. Odette's challenge this week: Share the NY Times article with someone you know. Plant the seed of living a life away from alcohol. Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. Upcoming events, retreats and courses: Ditching the Booze - The What, the Wh

Jim took his last drink April 7, 2020. With just over 70 days (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Today Odette opens talking about finding the better you and her own take away from Holly Whitaker's Quit Like A Woman. She focuses on what Holly says about when a craving strikes. Learn to relax into the craving rather than distract. RASINS Recognize Allow Set aside the story Investigate what is happening in your body Name the sensations Surf Let's set the scene: You have finished your 100th zoom call of the day and you are ready to relax for the night. You want to pour a glass of wine. Here is how to implement RASINS. Admit the craving, allow the craving to build, set aside the negative thoughts telling you that you suck. Maybe try a meditation practice. Focus on how your body is feeling. Is your heart racing, are your palms sweating? Ride the wave of emotion, this is manageable. [7:12] Odette introduces Jim. Jim is 71 years old and he lives on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. He is about to retire fully from his career in public education. He's been married for 47 years and has 3 children and 4 grandkids. He enjoys hiking, reading, swimming and volunteering at church and in schools. He has recently picked up golf too! [11:33] Can you give listeners a history on your drinking? Jim said he began drinking in high school and also drank in college. He joined a fraternity and soon after stopped going to call and flunked out. His father told him he was not welcome at home, so Jim joined the Merchant Marines after that. He said that although drinking was prohibited on the boats, that was far from the reality. After a winter in the Merchant Marines he was drafted into the Vietnam War, however his college agreed to re-admit him. Once back in college he was right back where he started. He did meet his "beautiful bride" while in school and she got him going back to class and he did graduate. His chosen career was something that he felt was more important that his drinking. So, he didn't drink before work, but after work, all bets were off. Once he began to approach retirement, he had more time on his hands and the habits of college drinking returned. [15:14] Do you remember your emotional state when your father told you that you weren't allowed back home? Jim said at the time he was very resentful and thought his father was not loving and caring. He felt his father was putting his own reputation and career over Jim's circumstances. Looking back on it, Jim can say he knows that his father made a great decision. [22:15] Did you notice your relationships changing/eroding? Jim said his own ability to be a pleasant person when he was drinking was almost non-existent. He had a lot of irritability over very little things. [25:38] Do you still have cravings? Jim said he still has cravings. He uses HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) when a craving strikes. He then reflects on the thought and feeling and reminds himself this will happen and to "not let it shake your tree" because this will pass. [27:29] How did you find Recovery Elevator/ resources for this journey? Jim said was listening to NPR shows and thought that there must be something recovery specific out there. He found Recovery Elevator from a google search and made it a part of his every day. [28:50] Did you notice you had to change certain aspects of your entire routine? Jim said that he wakes up every morning and looks at a stack of notecards he has created. He reminds himself every day his reasons why he's stopped drinking. He focuses on reading and reddit subs and meditation. [33:46] Do you find nighttime to be a more challenging time of the day? Jim said he doesn't struggle at night. He also had notecards on his bedside table. He tries to end every day thinking about what he's grateful for and on a positive note. [34:44] Have you notice changes in your sleep patterns? Jim said yes. His dreams are clear and amazing. He sleeps more soundly. [37:23] What have you learned about yourself that has really surprised you? Jim said he used to have a lot of self-doubt if he could do this. He's learned we can all do this. [39:00] What are you excited about right now? Jim said he feels like a new person in life and so the possibilities are opening up. He's no longer shackled by alcohol. His schedule is open. [40:54] Rapid Fire Round What is your favorite NA beverage? Flavored water. What is a drinking myth you've seen debunked? If you're old there's no sense in trying to stop drinking. (not true!) What would you say to Day 1 Jim? Jim as you walk through day 1, walk through that door, it's going to be awesome. You will not regret one second of this. What are some words of wisdom you can share with listeners? I could have done this sooner, just let it go. There's a family out there ready to help you. You can do this. You may have to say adios to alcohol... Adios, good riddance and see you later alligator! Odette's challenge this week: Write do

John took his last drink on August 31, 2019. With about 10 months (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol-free (AF). Today Odette opens quoting from Pema Chödrön's "When Things Fall Apart". "Impermanence is the goodness of reality. Just as the four seasons are in continual flux, winter changing from spring to summer to autumn; just as day becomes night, light becoming dark becoming light again-- in the same way, everything is constantly evolving." Everything that ends is also the beginning of something else. What happens when we see this chaos as harmony and change right now is the new normal. It takes time to get comfortable with change and this stage of life is a season. Let's sit with it and see where we can go. [6:53] Odette introduces John. John is 38 years old and originally from Fayetteville, North Carolina. John is also married to Odette and they have 2 children together. They live in San Diego, CA. For fun John likes to surf, bike, run, or play golf… he just likes being active. [11:19] Can you give listeners a history on your drinking? John said growing up drinking was part of the culture of where he lived. He started drinking in high school on weekends and continued in college. His drinking changed when it became a post-work habit. He said he modeled his drinking after his parents: put your head down, do you work, have a drink after work. From the age of 25 - 38 he was drinking as a reward at the end of a day. However, he noticed that he was using alcohol to numb out other things in his life. [14:00] Was there a moment when you noticed that alcohol was no longer working? John said in his 30s was when he began to question if he had a problem with drinking. As his family grew, he saw a line in the sand. On one side of the line was keeping drinking and on the other side was his marriage and family. Odette and John discuss their marriage and how each of their paths to recovery has followed along both together and separately at different times. They discuss the work they have done on themselves and as a couple. [25:26] From an inside look what are some of the biggest differences? John said a lot of his initial quitting drinking was about trying to prove a point, prove to himself and others that he didn't have a problem with alcohol. Within a month it changed and began to leave alcohol behind for himself. He noticed improvements in almost all aspects of his life. [28:51] Can you tell us about how fatherhood has been different? John said when he was drinking, he would show up to parenthood not ready to parent. He was physically there but not there mentally or emotionally. He is now trying to make amends to his children now by being as present as he can be. Every connecting moment with his children is a cherished moment. [32:13] Tell us about a day in your life right now, what tools are you using? John said he's a little bit of a lone wolf. He relies a lot on Odette as an emotional outlet. He does not struggle with cravings during the day, but at night when he's "done for the day" is when he has to dig a little deeper. He focuses on spending time with his family. John drinking a lot of soda water and kombucha and NA beer. [34:55] What's your favorite NA beer brand? He has an order coming from Athletic Brewing and is looking forward to trying it. Gruvi IPA Two Roots, Straight Dank IPA- it's a very hop-forward IPA. [36:06] How has it been reintroducing yourself into social situations? John said that the first few months were hard. There was a lot of pretending. Once he had the mind shift and was leaving alcohol behind for himself, it was a lot easier. There is a confidence that came with his decision. [39:16] Have you received any pushback? John said that his true friends are supportive. There's the occasional random person who isn't in the know that questions him, but not from a negative place. [41:53] What possibilities in life are you excited about? John said he's just really excited to keep on this path and see where it takes him. He's looking forward to his kids starting school, the next steps in his career, the fun trips they have planned as a family and with his wife. There's a positive future ahead. [43:59] Rapid Fire Round What is a memorable moment you've had so far? Surf trip sober over Christmas 2019. What are some of your favorite resources? Armchair Expert podcast (Dax Shepard) What would you say to Day 1, John? It's going to be a lot easier than you think it is. Trust the decision. Strap in and lean in. Trust your wife. What parting piece of guidance can you give to others? Just do it, hop in. Do it for 3 months and see what happens. You may need to ditch the booze if... You go on a camping trip with your wife and the last thing you remember is having a great time at dinner and then you wake up in a tent alone, with none of your family there. Odette's challenge this week: What are you trying to hold on to right now? What do you think would happen if that changed? Are yo

Andrew took his last drink June 02, 2020. With 9 days (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Finding the better you with Odette. Today's topic: Setting boundaries. According to https://positivepsychology.com/ Healthy boundaries are those set to make sure that you are mentally and emotionally stable. You can also think about it as our boundaries might be ridged, loose or completely non-existent. The lack of boundaries may indicate that we do not have a strong identity or that we are intermeshed with someone else or something else: insert alcohol. Odette lobbies for protecting your energy, which is a version of creating boundaries. Set and honor your boundaries. When you set new boundaries and start living them it might feel uncomfortable, and that's normal. It gets easier and better when you stand up for yourself and share your boundaries with others. Check in with yourself often. [8:25] Odette introduces Andrew. Andrew is 37 years old and lives in Brisbane Australia. When Andrew and Odette first began talking about scheduling this interview, Andrew had more than 35 days AF. He did some field research and is now back with 9 days AF. He drives trucks for a living, is married and has 3 boys under the age of 7. For fun he likes to ride his trail bike. [14:19] Can you give listeners a history on your drinking? Andrew's first drink was at age 13. Instantly he fell in love with alcohol. He liked the person he became when he drank. When he was 15 he worked in construction with older guys and that gave him access to alcohol. As an adult the drinking increased and increased, but he never thought it was a problem until his late 20s. Andrew has known over the past 10 years that he didn't drink normally. He drank more than people and alcohol became an identity. His first son was born when he was 30 and he tried to grow up. Andrew noticed he couldn't stop drinking. Andrew said his relationship changed from having fun as a couple to serious and his wife mentioning that it needs to be different. They couldn't go to the shops without his kids mentioning "oh we need to go to the bottle shop for dad". [21:34] Did you hit a bottom or what made you decide to pursue an AF life? Andrew said all the relationships in his life began to fail. He never blamed the alcohol but blamed the other person. A few years ago having a surgery that required him to stop drinking 2 weeks prior and his wife laughed at that suggestion. He wasn't able to stop and drank up to surgery and that's when he realized it was a problem. [22:40] Did you seek help when you decided to try and stop drinking? Andrew said he simply decided he wasn't going to drink. He did reach out to a doctor who prescribed some pills that didn't have any effect. His drinking continued on and off over the next few years. He often found himself googling if he was an alcoholic or not. This led right into the current COVID pandemic. Andrew decided he wanted to find a better life for himself, his wife and his kids. [24:00] Did you attempt moderating before quitting? Yes, Andrew said he tried to moderate his drinking. Being a truck driver for a living, he always had to have 0.0% alcohol to drive. He tried to promise himself he would only drink on weekends, but instead worked out how many drinks he could have in the afternoons and still have 0.0% alcohol level for work the next morning. [26:06] Can you expand on the 6 week dry camp associated with your work? Andrew explained that it wasn't a company sponsored event. It was the work he was doing at the time and they lived on campus for a period of time. The campus he was on, was dry. He made it the 6 weeks, and on his way home he stopped for alcohol. He picked up exactly where he left off even through he was feeling proud for making it the 6 weeks. [28:06] How had fatherhood changed? Andrew said he's more present now and is noticing how much his wife had been picking up in the area of childcare. He worries about different things now and he cares more about what is right and wrong. [28:06] Tell us about a day in your life right now, what tools are you using? Andrew said he's still learning, this is a new journey for him. The traditional help isn't available right now, everything is only online. He has discovered podcasts and listens as much as he can. He hopes to join an in person AA group. [34:23] Have you received any negative feedback around your decision? Andrew hasn't received one negative comment from the people he's told. Everyone is supportive, from family to friends to work colleagues. [37:46] What possibilities are you excited for? Andrew said in the long term he wants to have better and different relationships with his family. He's looking to purchase a home with the money he's saving from not drinking. [38:54] If you could talk to Day 1 Andrew, what would you tell him? You will encounter slip ups, but don't beat yourself up. It's ok to not be perfect. Every day you don't drink is perfect. Ther

Heidi took her last drink on May 20, 2020. With 19 days (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol-free (AF). Odette opens today welcoming normal drinkers. It has come to her attention that there are some listeners that are tuning in for educational purposes as a loved one has a problem with alcohol. Question for you normal drinkers: would you be interested in a Café RE group focused on you? Email Odette if you're interested. One of the most important books in Odette's life is The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie. It was referred to her when her father first went into rehab. Each day is a new passage to read and often she is overcome with the meaning and finds herself wanting to share the meditation for the day with others. While she's not going to read from this book today, Odette is sharing with you all…. Storytime with Odette! What Do You Do With a Problem? By Kobi Yamada [8:13] Odette introduces Heidi. Heidi is 28 years old and originally from San Diego, but she's lived all over. Right now she's in Orange County, CA with her new husband. She works in career services with a focus on health and behavioral sciences. She's an adjunct teacher and a CrossFit coach and group fitness leader. Heidi loves the outdoors and seeing live music, plays, and time with family and friends. [14:05] Can you give listeners a background on your drinking? Heidi's first time really drinking was around the age of 16 / her junior year of high school. At the same time, she was a good student and took her studying and athletics very seriously. She only drank on weekends. In college she continued to be a good student and athlete while drinking, so she never felt that what she was doing should be questioned. At the end of her college career, she mentioned to a coach that she felt she might have a drinking problem. This coach dismissed her concerns because she "doing fine." [19:20] When you expressed concerns to your coach and he was dismissive, did you doubt him a little? Heidi said internally she knew that her drinking was a problem, but at the same time, he gave her a free pass to keep drinking. [17:16] Walk us through the last year or so of your drinking and what led up to your sober date? Heidi grew up with obsessive-compulsive tendencies, specifically manifesting in self-harm. When alcohol became an option, it quieted the self-harm aspect. Once Heidi moved back to the West Coast and started working full time, she fell into a routine of grabbing some alcohol on the way home from work. A few glasses of wine became a bottle of wine became a few bottles of wine, then turned to liquor. She started a new job and it turned out to be miserable, so drinking in the evenings was what got her through the days. She and her husband were true drinking partners, so they fed off each other as well. Last summer she noticed relationships with family members and her husband began to crumble and then she began to take a serious look at her drinking. One of the changes she made was signing up for the Recovery Elevator Ditch the Booze course. The accountability provided was what she needed. [33:49] Tell us about your experience with the Ditching The Booze course and the extra level of accountability. Heidi craves connection and doesn't find it overwhelming. Some people in her group check-in daily, some every few days, but the common denominator is everyone has the same struggle. So, everyone already understands. At a moment's notice, she can give support and get support from the community. [38:17] How has your family dynamic changed in these last 20 days? Heidi said that due to the current pandemic there have been fewer social pressures to go out. At home, with her husband, there has been greater levels of connection. She did have a fear that all they had was drinking and that was why they were together. They began to open up and have new and genuine conversations about themselves. She's having more moments of pure enjoyment with her husband. [43:43] What possibilities have you excited right now? Heidi said the increase in liveliness is exciting. She feels like a school kid again and full of hope. Being able to wake up early and coach at her gym without being still drunk or hungover. Being present with her husband and family member. Heidi is also seeing a new resurgence in her artistic side. [42:20] Rapid Fire Round If you could talk to Day 1 Heidi, what would you tell her? You can do things that you don't think are possible right now but stick with it. You can sit with the uncomfortable feelings of a craving. What are some of your favorite resources in sobriety? Café RE, This Naked Mind by Annie Grace, Alcohol is SH!T by Paul Churchill What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? You already know what that life is like, so why not just try. You may need to ditch the booze if... You pride yourself on your Christmas shopping by doing it all in one night with a few bottles of wine and then figure out what you bou

Michael took his last drink on May 13, 2019. With just over a year sober (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol-free (AF). Odette opens today asking the question: Is this working? There are obvious moments where it is easy to recognize that life without alcohol is working. When people say you look refreshed, you wake up not hungover and you start sleeping well. But what about the not so obvious moments? The moments that are hard, the moments you miss drinking? Yes, those are the moment when growth and change and abundance are there and about to bloom. Trust, be patient, and stay the course. [7:23] Odette introduces Michael. Michael lives in Springfield, Missouri, and works in construction. He is married with 2 children. For fun, he works, plays video games and spends as much time as possible with his family. [8:24] Can you give listeners a background on your drinking? Michael said he started drinking around the age of 14. He said it was something he was good at and within a year he was drinking a pint or more of liquor a day. He soon began drinking before school and after. In 2002 he joined the Marine Corps, which was his goal. In the military, he often couldn't drink for stretches of time, so it became binge drinking episodes. But at the end of his 4 years in the Marine Corps, he realized he had a problem with drinking and asked for help. He was enrolled in a daily program through the military to learn about drinking. After getting out of the military he worked construction, but then in 2008 re-enlisted in the Army. The 6 years he was in the Army, the drinking continued at a bottle a day, every day. He considered himself a very high bottom drinker because he was so high functioning within life. [15:19] What was it that led you down the path to try going AF? Michael said that he tried to stop multiple times over the years. He began to realize he wasn't living his life to his best potential. He always tried to be the person setting the example for others, yet his inability to stop drinking was weighing on him. He needed to show that he could stop drinking for good. The idea that he couldn't quit was his bottom. [17:16] Walk us through what went through your mind on your day 1. Michael said he woke up and said to himself "I need to quit, again." He searched for podcasts that day and found Recovery Elevator. Podcasts allowed him to saturate his entire day with recovery. He downloaded the Sober Grid app and started reading that and the resources offered. [21:13] How has your life without alcohol been different than what you originally thought? Michael said he had a lot of fear about what he would do and who he would be not drinking. Once he quit, he was no longer avoiding emotions and in a fog. He was freed to just live his life. Michael has learned it's ok to be sad or angry and that he will make it through. [25:24] How has your family dynamic changed since you have been on this path? Michael said that he's happy and no longer hiding from his family. He's a present and active member of his family and at a higher plateau of being a husband and a father. He's always working on trying to be a better husband and father while at the same time learning to be a husband and a father for the first time since this is the first time through sober eyes. [27:44] Walk us through a day in your life right now. Michael said he wakes up, goes to work, and hangs out with his family. He prides himself on being an open person; he's open about his sobriety, his PTSD, and his anxiety. He tries to lead by example and with being so open, he allows space for others to be open about their own struggles. [30:22] What is your social life like now? Michael said from the beginning he was honest about his not drinking with friends and co-workers. They were respectful and always offered not to drink around him, but he was always ok about around other people drinking. He said that he understood this was his choice and his alone. There were a few times he did walk away in the beginning, but now he's comfortable around alcohol. [31:55] What have you learned in this AF journey? Michael said that he is really motivated and setting goals and accomplishing them. This past year has really reinforced this. He's also rediscovering who he is as a person, not just an alcoholic. One particular goal of Michael's is to run a marathon. [36:25] What possibilities are keeping you hopeful? Michael said rediscovering daily life. He focuses on the little things in life and is finding joy in those things. He's excited about mowing the lawn now! [37:35] Do you still get cravings? Michael said he doesn't get cravings so much as he gets the idea of drinking still. Cravings are for the most part a non-thought. [38:31] If you could talk to Day 1 Michael, what would you tell him? Keep trying. Even if you don't succeed today you can try again tomorrow. [38:59] Rapid Fire Round What is a memorable moment sobriety has given you? Being with my family

Sara took her last drink on December 02, 2018. With 18 months sober (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol-free (AF). Odette opens today talking about re-writing memos. Take a look at the memos you write to yourself every day. Those memos we repeat to ourselves as fact. There are thousands of stories we have written as memos in our lives. Odette encourages us to take out a sharpie and re-write the memo. Change your mind, change your opinion. [6:24] Odette introduces Sara. Sara lives just outside Minneapolis, MN. She is 37 years old, married, and has one daughter. They just adopted a puppy. She works in communications and for fun she likes to go for hikes and walks with friends, hang out with her daughter and eat her husband's food (he's a great cook!). [12:58] Can you give listeners a background on your drinking? Sara said she didn't drink in High School. She went to a party school for college and started to binge drink on weekends. When she first started drinking, she liked the permission that alcohol gave her to be extroverted. Towards the end of her 20s the binge drinking tapered off, but that was when she began daily drinking, first a couple of glasses of wine on the weekend, soon became 7 days a week. While she quit when pregnant with her daughter, she did feel deprived. And once her daughter was born the daily drinking quickly resumed. The anxiety resumed in full force and because Sara didn't feel like she had a problem with a capital P, this was all normal. December 2, 2018, Sara found a book by Annie Grace and went from never considering quitting, to leaving alcohol behind all in the same day. [20:16] How was it early in your journey? Sara said at first she cried once the decision was made. She allowed herself to grieve the loss while at the same time being excited. The first 1-3 days she practiced going into social situations, being right before the holidays she had lots of opportunities to practice. Sara always had a treat for herself to keep the feelings of deprivation at bay. [30:43] How was the dynamic with your husband? Did you burn the ships immediately? Sara said she told her husband right away. She thinks he didn't believe her at first, she wouldn't have believed herself at first either! However, he was supportive of her decision. Sara experienced some guilt when she stopped drinking because she felt like she was taking away something from him that was an activity they enjoyed together. They had to work to find new things to connect over. [35:04] What's in your recovery toolbelt these days? Social connection is the #1 action item in her toolbelt. Sara said that she walks with her friends, she needs face to face meetups. Sobriety podcasts are 2nd. They keep her motivation up. And 3rd is "No treat is off-limits." Sara knows that she has to protect her sobriety at all costs. She also uses meditation to monitor and identify uncomfortable feelings inside. [40:37] If you could talk to Day 1 Sara, what would you say to her? This is going to teach you more about yourself than you ever thought you could learn. It will be worth the challenges. [40:00] Rapid Fire Round What is a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? The awkwardness you feel at the beginning of any social gathering will be gone in 15 minutes whether or not you drink. What is a memorable moment sobriety has given you? Remembering Christmas Eve and making memories with their friends and the kids. What are you excited about right now? The upcoming summer in Minnesota. Casual family time. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Don't cut out alcohol without adding in other things you're excited about. You may need to ditch the booze if... If you download a habit tracking app to make sure you're sticking to your allotted amount of alcohol per day. And when it tells you that you're over, you just delete the app instead of questioning the habit. Odette's challenge this week: Write down 10 negative memos that come to mind. Don't think about them too much, just write them down. Then re-frame and re-write them and keep them close. Read them often and remind yourself of your power. Share on Instagram and tag us @recoveryelevator on Instagram so we can give you a virtual high five! Or email them to [email protected] Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why, and the How. We will be offering this again, starting 8/4/2020 and 11/3/20. It's free for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. You can find more information about our events The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Resources: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevat

Hannah took her last drink on April 16, 2020. With 45 days sober (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol-free (AF). Paul has created a new meditation. It's 20 minutes long and is specifically geared towards cravings. You can get it here for free. Odette opens talking about the upcoming long weekend, which is the 4th of July. She asks "how can we leverage the current state of the world / the current pandemic and our desire to not drink this upcoming holiday weekend?" A celebration that is centered around food and also drinking, what does this mean for our own choices. There is an assumed permission slip that allows you to start drinking at whatever time you want. Given the state of the world and smaller gatherings happening, it might prove to be easier to not drink. Here's a list of how to not drink this weekend Bring your own drinks, make it special! Tell someone you don't want to drink. It's ok to ask for help Let yourself have fun. Have one goal for the day- Don't drink. Leave if you're uncomfortable. [9:00] Odette introduces Hannah. Hannah lives in Las Vegas. She is 30 years old. She has worked in the medical field in the past but will begin teaching soon. For fun recently she's been doing puzzles. She enjoys hiking, being outdoors, and working out. [12:33] How have you been feeling in these early days? Hannah said she previously had some time away from alcohol under her belt, but had started drinking again. So, she was prepared for stopping again. This time it was emotional, but no physical withdrawal symptoms. She feels good and is looking forward to this path. [14:12] What happened that made you decide to drink again? Hannah said in January 2019 she tried to do dry January again, but only made it about 15 days. She restarted February 1st and this lasted for her until almost September. While she was for a time able to moderate her drinking, once quarantine began the drinking became a daily thing and she was feeling pretty awful, mentally, and physically. [16:02] What started you on this path to wanting to live AF? What's your drinking background? Hannah said she took her first drink around 14 or 15. When she was 17, she lost her mother to addiction and alcohol became her outlet to escape. She had a year of partying harder than any teenager should have. Two weeks after she turned 18, she found out she was pregnant and sobered up, promising her child a better life. She did eventually return to alcohol. While she was succeeding on the outside, she was drinking a lot. Around 25 years old she was experiencing high anxiety and was noticing how alcohol wasn't serving her. [20:38] Did you have a rock bottom moment or what pushed you to take action? Hannah said there wasn't a true rock bottom moment, but there were a lot of moments that weren't the smartest: falling, driving drunk, drunk injuries. It was just the understanding that alcohol was what was causing her to feel bad all the time. The shame spiral was real. The end of 2018 was a heavy drinking period for Hannah and she did 15 days of dry January 2019 but drank. And in February 2019 was her first attempt at living AF. [28:07] Does your son notice the difference in you drinking vs not drinking? Hannah said he hasn't ever said anything directly, but she knows he noticed when she was drinking in the past. As he gets older she wants to share more with him about her stopping drinking. [30:26] Walk us through a day in your life now. What's in your recovery toolbox? Hannah said that she tries to wake up and get a workout in before work. Waking up early and doing something for herself helps make her day better. This also helps her identify her emotions for the day. After work she and her boyfriend will cook, listen to audiobooks, keeping herself busy is important. [32:28] Has it been easy having an honest conversation with your boyfriend about your drinking? (Her boyfriend still drinks) Hannah said it's been difficult; she was emotional in the beginning when she first stopped drinking and had to watch him drink a beer or two. He however has been very supportive. He checks in with her and is often the sober person with her. They no longer keep alcohol in the house. [34:59] What's your favorite NA drink? Pamplemousse La Croix. [35:25] What have you learned about yourself in this journey? Hannah said over the years she has developed some coping mechanisms, but there's still more work to be done. She wants to work on being more open and honest with those close to her. Expressing her feelings honestly and talk and not keep it all inside will be helpful. [36:20] What gets you excited in life right now? Hannah said that being there for her son as he gets older. Also, a new career in teaching is exciting. Being fully present. [38:05] Did you get any pushback from friends when you decided to stop drinking? Hannah said when she first went AF in 2019, a few friends gave her pushback about it. But this time around she's trying to be more honest with

Jamieson took his last drink on August 7, 2019. With almost 10 months sober (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol-free (AF). Odette opens the podcast talking about "permission slips" and specifically giving yourself permission to feel certain things. She quotes Brene Brown, "For personal permission slips, you are in charge of your own behavior – so you're giving yourself permission to feel or act a certain way. It is setting an intention for how you want to behave in difficult situations." Here are some permission slips Odette gave herself after her first week as the new voice of the podcast: to be scared, to make mistakes, to ask for help, to feel uncomfortable, to fail, to succeed, to try again, to love myself. Writing these out she gained courage, the courage to run towards what she wants. [5:23] Odette introduces Jamieson. Jamieson is 28 years old and lives in Kansas City, MO. He works in special education and is starting grad school in the fall. He is single. For fun, he enjoys making music, reading, playing video games, hiking, going camping, and traveling. [7:49] Can you give us a background on your drinking? Jamieson said he started drinking when he was around 13 or 14 years old. But at the time it was a shot glass worth of wine at dinner every night. The first time he was drunk was when he was 16 or 17. He never really felt like he ever had a normal relationship with alcohol, but problematic drinking began around the age of 21. In college he was always trying to be cool like everyone else, alcohol was an easy resource to make him feel cool and ease his social anxiety. [10:50] What happened after you noticed your drinking increasing? Jamieson said it became very consistent and an everyday thing. At the age of 22, he went without alcohol for one year. After a year of being a dry drunk, he decided he didn't have a problem and returned to drinking. He continued drinking until his last drink in August 2019. [13:58] After your year sober, and return to drinking, did you know in the back of your mind that eventually, you would stop drinking? Jamieson said in the back of his mind, he always knew something wasn't quite right about his drinking. The quiet voice in the back of his mind slowly crept into the forefront of his thoughts and he couldn't ignore it any longer. [14:51] Was there an event that made you go sober again? Jamieson said it was a combination of things. Between multiple rock bottoms/events and seeing his younger brother struggle with alcohol as well, he realized he needed to cut alcohol out. [20:15] What was your plan on the day of your last drink? Jamieson said to himself "let's just see how long I can go" and at about 2 weeks' time, he was feeling pretty good and went to a Refuge Recovery meeting. That was a turning point for him. [24:50] You mention that Buddhism has really changed your life, can you chat about that? Jamieson said he's been interested in Buddhism for a long time but was never able to fully dedicate himself to it while drinking. Mindfulness and meditation are not friends with alcohol and substance abuse. Meditation has been a key component in his sobriety. [31:47] What else is in your recovery toolbelt? Jamieson said podcasts and focusing also on leading a healthier lifestyle/routines. Being on top of himself for the little things like making his bed and brushing his teeth daily. He's also begun practicing yoga. [34:29] Did you feel like there were new triggers for you when COVID began? Jamieson said it had a big impact on his routine. His school was on Spring Break at the start and they didn't return afterward. He said it was abrupt and unexpected at how quickly it happened. His routine was a large part of his "staying sane" in sobriety. The lack of routine pushed him to seek out more meetings. [37:04] What are your thoughts on self-awareness growing? Jamieson said he has noticed he's much more self-aware since he stopped drinking. He has learned more about addiction and specifically alcohol addiction and his compassion has grown towards others. He finds himself being less judgmental. [39:32] What's a narrative in your life that you would like to re-write? Jamieson said he felt for a long time his issues with substance abuse, anxiety, and depression were his fault. He was messing up his own life because he wasn't a good person. Jamieson has worked on forgiving himself over the past 9 months. Through Refuge Recovery and Buddhism he has learned that it's not your fault you are this way, but it is your responsibility to deal with it. [44:32] You're so young, how has stopping drinking changed your social dynamic? Jamieson said his social life was getting worse with his drinking. All of his friends have been supportive. He finds he's able to appreciate spending time with his friends and his family now. [48:15] Rapid Fire Round If you could talk to Day 1 Jamieson, what would you say to him? Be patient with yourself and know you are stronger than these p

Kris took his last drink on August 9, 2017. At just over 1000 days (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol-free (AF). Odette opens the podcast talking about beginner emotions, also called day one emotions. "You can be brave and afraid at the same time." Feeling scared and uncertain is natural and part of the process. Embrace those feelings and you can go far. [5:26] Odette introduces Kris. Kris is 38 years old, married with 2 children and a dog. They live in central North Dakota and he is a power plant operator. For fun he loves photography, videography, staying warm in the winter, and camping in the summer. ND summers are the best. [8:28] What's your favorite ice cream flavor? As kids, Kris and his brother would always go for vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup, roasted salted peanuts, and Smarties as a topping. [10:00] Can you give us a background on your drinking? Kris said he started drinking in high school, he was shy and quiet in High School and this brought him out of his shell. He felt like he could be himself. He joined the Air Force out of high school and alcohol continued to help him forge bonds with others. While he was stationed in Korea, he says he began using alcohol for more than just fun and instead used it to cope with depression. They lived by "work hard, party hard" while stationed there. He felt lost when he came home and struggled with his identity. He says the last few years of his relationship with alcohol was really a disaster. He didn't want to stop, he was hiding his drinking and his relationship with his wife was falling apart. [22:48] What happened after your wife told you that you had to stop drinking? Kris and his wife separated after that and he experienced an "Oh sh*t" moment. At the same time, he began having a willingness in his life to make and action change. He signed up for a treatment program. [25:34] How did you feel after you realized that you had to do this? When did the decision to get sober become yours? Kris said it was during treatment. Working with counselors he learned that he needed to take responsibility for everything. He also met with a pastor who encouraged him to start praying every day. He began asking God to help guide him. He learned the burden of his past doesn't have to hold him back from his future. [30:50] Do you still have cravings? How different is from the beginning and how is it still similar? Kris said for the most part he only has moments where he romanticizes drinking. He reminds himself that it's never one drink. Exploring the truth of what it is, sets him straight. He notices that it's more about behaviors than actual cravings. Being short with his kids or tense with his wife. Because he now actively works on these things, he's able to more quickly correct the action. Both Kris and his wife, in their relationship, work on these things. They are both more tolerant of each other. [40:34] Walk us through a day in the life right now. What does working your recovery in this type of crisis look like? Kris is considered an essential worker, so he's still going to the office every day and his wife is a teacher, so she is homeschooling their children. Kris says his recovery is very similar, he just isn't getting to as many face to face meetings as usual. He's recently begun working with a sponsor again, so they are connecting a lot. He's staying connected with Café RE, his sponsor, posting videos, showing support to others through the Facebook pages and Marco polo'ing. [43:23] How do you keep this journey fun? Kris chooses the tone for his life. He celebrates the milestones with his family, he stays connected with his friends in the sober community, he goes to events, and this past fall he hosted his own independent Café RE meetup. He surrounds himself with the people he loves and can be himself and let loose now that alcohol isn't a part of the equation. [46:36] Rapid Fire Round If you could talk to Day 1 Kris, what would you say to him? Take it easy and you are loved. What is a memorable moment sobriety has given you? Being in the water swimming with my family and seeing their smiles. What are some of your favorite resources? Recovery Elevator podcast, Café RE, That Sober Guy (Shane Ramer), Transitions Daily, Saddleback Church, Elevation Church and a good sponsor. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Be honest with yourself about where you are at. We can do hard things, but we don't have to do them alone. Try to find a community, you are not alone. You might be an alcoholic if... If you've urinated in more corners of your house than you care to actually mention. Upcoming events, retreats and courses: Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why and the How. We will be offering this again, starting 8/4/2020 and 11/3/20. It's free for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. You can find more information about our events The book, Alcohol is S

Paul opens today's episode talking about the short term & long term plans for Recovery Elevator: Paul is taking a break from the podcast and he will be focusing on the Recovery Elevator YouTube channel and creating meditations. 1-3 year plans: Recovery Elevator Retreat Center Long term goals: adding more Café RE groups Let's all start putting thinking bigger and putting Big Energy out into the universe for Recovery Elevator. [12:09] Paul welcomes Odette, the new voice of Recovery Elevator. Odette's last drink was 12/17/18. She is from San Diego, originally from Mexico and is married with two kids. They love the outdoors as a family. Odette enjoys learning about tea, puzzling and cooking. She often runs and uses her indoor bike for exercise. [16:08] Paul: What have you been up to since Episode 231? Odette is grateful for her recovery during this time of Covid-19. During her first year sober it's all about relearning habits, restructuring life and setting new routines. Her year two has been about uncovering a lot of deeper seeded emotions and being more honest with herself. [19:15] Paul: Can you cover what brought you to wanting to live an alcohol free life? Drinking felt like a déjà vu of Odette's previous addiction. (She is also in recovery from an eating disorder.) She had already walked this path and could her inner voice telling her that if she kept drinking the way she was, it would end badly. Her rock bottom was an emotional rock bottom. Odette has always felt like she wanted to be normal and because drinking is normalized in our culture she didn't initially want to step away. Choosing to do the thing that is not considered normal would again put her in a spotlight. However, she knew internally this was the path she needed to take. For more on her story go listen to episode 128 & 231. [23:00] They talk about Odette's path with the podcast. Odette likes relating to people. She will share when she hears her own story in others. She enjoys sharing books she's reading and things she is listening to. Sharing a-ha moments. [24:09] Paul: What are some topics you will cover moving forward? Practical tips and recovery tools. Focusing on her recovery toolbelt and listening to what's working for other people. Spiritual concepts and how those can be brought into our lives. Fun facts, history and what she can learn from others. Hearing from others and having the audience suggest topics. [25:23] Paul: Same format? For now, Odette plans to stay within the same format of an introduction and then having an interviewee. She loves talking and sharing and is really excited to take this forward, she is nervous at the same time. This is about a movement of living alcohol free and she wants to honor the path Paul has established. [28:00] Paul: Talk about evoking Rule 22 on this journey. Odette's father was silly when raising his own family. She grew up with flawed parents, yet they showed her there was always a path of fun to be found. The life she's living isn't a dress rehearsal, it's the only you she has and it's too short to not have fun. [30:06] Paul: Spanish or English? English. But there may be an opportunity in the future for episodes in Spanish. If you want to share your story you can email [email protected] [32:32] Odette turns the tables and interviews Paul. Can you talk about your decision to step down? Paul acknowledges that he needed to take a break. He thought he needed to start over again, instead of asking for help and delegating a lot of what he's been doing. The community that he has created came to him with suggestions on how Recovery Elevator can keep moving forward. With some restructuring there is now a path. [37:20] Odette: Overall how do you feel? Paul says he feels incredible. That past year and a half has been the most spiritual he has ever experienced. And even more, the past 3 months he found his body cleansing itself of anything that didn't need to be there. [39:13] Odette: Tell us about some of the most fun experiences in your travels this past year. Watching a woman connect with an elephant in Thailand. The elephant laid down on its side and the woman laid on top. Watching the elephant breathing and the two of them connecting was powerful. While in Australia someone from an AA meeting asked if he wanted to go feed the seagulls. Paul put aside his serious side and went to feed seagulls for an hour and a half. [41:51] Odette: What's flowing through your creative side right now? Music has been creeping back into Paul's life over the past 5 years. He's been making meditation music. Also 3D meditations where you are walked through your future self, in the present moment. Focusing on the Recovery YouTube channel as well. [46:20] Odette: Will we hear from you during your break? Yes, Paul would love to pop in from time to time. [52:30] Paul: Where do you think we can take this? Odette says we can start small: have a podcast in Spanish for example. As large as: Traveling across the globe for

Brian took his last drink September 18, 2019. At 213 days (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). End of Season 1 After 276 consecutive Mondays & 5 years, Paul is stepping down from the podcast and is handing Recovery Elevator over to a new and talented voice. He recaps his next steps and an overview of what the last 5 years has brought him. With 2076 days at the time of recording, Paul is filled with gratitude for all you listeners. Because of you, he is filled with enough. We are all in this together. Don't forget, you can rate and review the podcast and tell Paul the change this podcast has affected in your own life. [13:36] Paul introduces Brian. Brian is 45 years old, married and lives in Easley, SC. He is married with two children. He was in the Army for 17 years before moving to the South. For fun Brian likes to golf, ski, snowboard, BBQ his own meats. He also does podcasting and some PA events. [17:20] Give listeners some background on your drinking. Brian didn't drink until he had almost graduated High School. He drank and got drunk the very first time. He said that was a theme throughout his drinking. He drank to get drunk each time. He went through military training and service and returned home to finish college in Baltimore. He was asked to leave after 2 years due to a 0.0 GPA the previous semester. [21:16] When did your drinking progress? Brian said there were waves of drinking. It picked up in his 20s after leaving college. Bartending made it easy to drink a lot. In 1999 he had to call out of his job a few times due to hangover. At that time, he saw there was a problem with his drinking and got sober for about 8 months from alcohol. In 2004, he tried to quit alcohol again for about 7 months. In 2007 he got into some legal trouble but during that his now wife became pregnant with their first child. He says his daughter saved his life. Thorough out this time, Brian says he would often be spoken at work about his behavior during events that involved alcohol. And in 2020 at an executive weekend event, he spent the entire weekend drunk. He said he was spoken to a few times throughout the weekend and that next week was his last drink with his cousin. [30:55] Let talk about your last drink. Brian said it was in his mind that something needed to change. He ordered a craft beer, and it didn't taste good. He ordered a second, it didn't taste good. At that moment he knew something was going to change. [35:15] What was September 19, 2020 like? Brian was familiar with the sober fellowship in his area and he began attending meetings immediately. However, this time, he felt very good about his decision to stop drinking. There was a sense of relief and peace that his suffering was over. 20 years of ups and downs and trying to get sober, culminated in this last drink in September 2019. [40:43] In the first 60 / 90 days how did you get past some cravings? Brian said that while he didn't have cravings exactly, he had thoughts about drinking. Many of them situational. He's forcing himself to remember the bad and not romanticize the good. Playing the tape forward helps to remind him of the bad. Seeing how that one romantic moment turns into a day of regret the next day. This time getting sober, Brian knew he needed to do something different and approached it in that manner. He put more effort into his getting sober. [46:26] Do you recognize the profound leaps and bounds you have made over these past 7 months? Brian said he has put the work into himself to try and find out who he is. Removing the masks worn and breaking down the facades of who he thought he was to find out who he truly is in this life. He tries to meditate every single day for 30 – 60 minutes a day and has been reading a lot more, both of which center him. All of this to try and put aside the ego. [48:34] Comment on some other experiences where you have said "that's no longer me / who I am" Brian has seen a change in his personal relationships. In the past he was short to show his temper and is choosing to not be that person any longer. He now finds his stoicism a strength, while when he was drinking it was a weakness. While still drinking he bottled up his feelings which would then tumble out while drunk in an overexaggerated manner. And now while sober, he's allowing himself to feel the feelings and understand more what they are telling him. Brian lets himself be sensitive and he can respond rather than react. [52:50] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? I never knew who I was until these last 7 months. What is a memorable moment a life without alcohol has given you? Rekindling my relationship with my kids. What's your favorite AF drink? Seltzer water. Cranberry lime specifically. And Kombucha. What's on your bucket list in this AF life? Pilots license. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Keep going. Even if you slip up, don't beat yourself up. Every moment

Belle took her last drink June 30, 2012. With almost 8 years of sobriety (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF). On today's episode Paul opens discussing what alcohol promises and does not deliver. Many people are trying to fill a void by using alcohol, but it will never be enough. The journey you take and the reward you earn on this life being AF is the eternal knowing that you are enough and are fulfilled. [7:58] Paul introduces Belle. Belle is 53 years old, married and lives in Paris, France. She is a caterer. [11:06] Because of the formal nature of the culture in Paris, is the recovery culture more secluded? Belle says that because she interacts mostly with English speakers (UK, American, Australia, Canada) her insight into the recovery world in France isn't that well-informed. But she does state that there isn't the overindulgent alcohol community that you find other places and in nearby countries. "It's not socially acceptable to be hammered outside your home." [16:58] Why is French onion soup so good in Paris? It's situational, exhaustion, dehydration and fantasy of France. [18:40] Give us a background on your drinking Belle felt alcohol talking to her around the age of 21. She thought everyone had that voice. For the next 15 years she felt she was keeping drinking in check by only buying what she would drink that day and not have other alcohol in the house. At 36 she was having 3 glasses of wine a night and found it hard to go a night without. Belle began putting into place unconscious moderating techniques to keep in control. She got married in 2005 and having that partner there opened the door to more drinking but with someone else there, so it appeared less harmful. In March 2012, she tried quitting drinking for 1 month, just to prove that she could. She got 7 days. [25:59] Can you expand on the feeling you had when you realized it was actually really hard to quit drinking? Belle says it was embarrassing because there was no one to tell or talk about it with. She didn't associate herself with alcoholics because of her high bottom drinking. She just thought she lacked self-discipline. Belle tried again with Dry July in 2012 and on day 9 knew again, this was going to be harder than anticipated. So, she started a WordPress blog to talk about the struggle. People began commenting on her blog posts and she in that moment she wasn't alone. From that blog grew her 100-day Sober Challenge, her penpal support system and a business venture. [39:28] What are some of the lessons you have learned from doing this project? Belle says everything she's learned are from her penpals. They taught her that while her story may be unique to her, the core experience of quitting drinking is the same for everyone. [48:37] Talk to us about the anonymity [of your project] and how you are anonymous. Belle said that without anonymity she wouldn't have been able to share the truth. People responded to her approach because it allowed them to also share the truth while being anonymous. Belle believes that you get sober and then you go on with the rest of your life and there exists the life you build on top of being sober. She believes that you don't have to tell everyone or anyone else about your sobriety. [52:25] Let's talk about your book. Belle's book is titled Tired of Thinking About Drinking: Take My 100-Day Sober Challenge. Her subscribers wanted her to write a book, so she did. [52:29] Do you think there will ever be a day you will shed the anonymity? If Oprah calls and asks Belle to share her experience working with 3000 people, yes. She would probably do that. Otherwise, no. [56:03] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? That I'm not alone. And most people have identical experiences. What's your favorite AF drink? Just tonic or tonic and grapefruit juice. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Her subscribers. What's on your bucket list in this AF life? Own a bakery. What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners? It's in the act of reaching out that things change. You might need to ditch the booze if... If you can't quit drinking for 100 days, then you have a problem. The answer is in the question. Belle's website and all the information shared: www.tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com Upcoming events, retreats and courses: We are into week one of Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why and the How. And will be offering this a few more times coming up. It's free for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee. You can find more information about our events The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! This episode sponsored by: Tiger Tail, use this link and enter the promo code: ELEVATOR15 for 15% off your order. Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the se

Jeff took his last drink February 8, 2020. With 65 days of sobriety (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). On today's episode Paul opens discussing emotions. How it's ok to feel all of them and how they help us to grow. In order to shift stagnant energy inside all of us, we have to talk about our emotions. It's ok to not be ok. It's ok to vent out your emotions and break off little pieces of frustration. Are you looking to explore deeper your decision to live alcohol free and are already a Café RE member? If so, sign up for the six week course starting May 19th entitled: Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why and the How. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set up fee. Paul shares the details about his free guided meditation. To find those meditations, go here. [12:08] Paul introduces Jeff. Jeff is 29 years old, lives in Tampa, FL. He is a plumber. He doesn't have a family, yet! He likes to hang out with his dog Bo and go fishing, camping and attend sporting events. [13:58] What's your favorite alcohol free drink? Cherry Coke. [15:13] Give us a background on your drinking Jeff started drinking around the age of 15 with anything he could get his hands on. He remembers being 5 years old and having a sip of his father's drink. He is the youngest of 3 and when he would visit his older siblings in college, their friends would slip his drinks, as young as at the age of 11. Drinking was just what you did when you got older, it was part of being an adult. Everyone seemed to enjoy drinking, so he should too. In college he joined a fraternity and it again drinking was just what everyone did, it was part of the culture of college and he went along for the ride. However at the age of 22, Jeff realized that stopping drinking might be the better choice for him. [19:52] What were the circumstances at 22 that made you think to stop drinking? Jeff said it was the physical effects of alcohol on his mind and body. He always felt like he could be doing more in life and alcohol was holding him back. [21:45] Fill in the gaps from age 22 to 29 (7 years) as you were building awareness around your drinking. Jeff began working as a Sam Adams beer rep out of New Orleans/Baton Rouge, LA. At any given time there were 15 cases of beer in his home. Part of the job was sampling beers, so loading up a cooler full of beer every day and sampling with 10 different customers wasn't out of the norm. The idea that something Jeff felt was in his way, but also his paycheck was difficult to reconcile. In 2015 Jeff began trying to moderate his alcohol intake. He didn't keep much alcohol in the house, but he found when he did drink, he couldn't stop. [23:46] Can you talk more about when you say, "Once you start it's hard to stop"? Jeff described his drinking like a firework. Light the fuse, it shoots up, it's great for 8/9 hours and then it blows up. His emotions would often get out of control. The days following his drinking were awful emotionally as well. No energy or mind power to do anything. [25:22] Was there a rock bottom moment? Jeff said the first rock bottom moment was in 2012. After a day of drinking, he completely lost it; throwing away his wallet, trashing the apartment he shared with a roommate, quitting his job via email with 2 hours notice. 65 days ago, after three weeks of not drinking, he had a beer and the next day got sick. He knew it was the alcohol and used those 4 days being sick as a springboard to make the change to fully living a life without alcohol. [27:28] After those initial 4 days, how did you do it? One day at a time. Jeff said he would call old friends, not to talk about drinking, but just to talk. He would exercise, cook and focus on doing all the things he wanted to do that alcohol was holding him back from doing. Also journaling and feeling his emotions again. [30:34] Talk to us about how you are embracing your emotions? Jeff said he is trying to learn what emotion he is actually feeling at a particular time. Is this happiness? Why am I feeling happy? Jeff is giving himself permission to have these feelings. He's focusing on gratefulness. [35:47] Where do you want to go in this AF life? Jeff said he's trying not to look too far ahead in life. That's been a problem for him before. He's focusing on being present and happy. He wants to grow and have a family and grow his business. Jeff said, "If you drink today, you are taking away tomorrow's happiness" and he wants to be happy. [38:08] What has it been like getting sober a little earlier in life? Jeff said that so far, it's been easier than expected. However, he doesn't discount the near decade of knowing he needed to try and live an AF life. There are no distractions right now during stay at home orders. He admits this might be a bigger test once COVID-19 is over. [43:10] What are your thoughts on relapse? Jeff said it does mean you're a failure, it's all about how you handle the relapse. Th

Carrie took her last drink April 7, 2020. With 7 days of sobriety (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol-free (AF). On today's episode Paul discusses the idea that you don't have to quit drinking in order to quit drinking and what that means to different people and himself. When you give yourself permission to be happy in the now, the need to drink goes away. By not delaying happiness in life, an alcohol-free life emerges. If you have more questions about this, please email Paul directly here. Are you looking to explore deeper your decision to live alcohol free and are already a Café RE member? If so, sign up for the six week course starting May 19th entitled: Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why and the How. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee. Paul shares the details about his free guided meditation. To find those meditations, go here. [12:30] Paul introduces Carrie. She is 42 years old, lives in Centralia, MO. She is a single mom of 2 boys. She sells cars for a living. Carries likes to read, spend time at baseballs games, spend time with her kids, to bike and be outdoors. She is looking forward to rediscovering new way to spend her time. [16:29] Give us a background on your drinking Carrie took her first drink at the age of 13 and was in treatment for alcohol twice before she was 18 years old. From the age of 18 to 27, she gathered 9 years of sobriety. After that time, she wanted to reach out and connect with other young people and thought she could pick up and drink without consequence. In 2015 after her son was born, was when she noticed her drinking was becoming unmanageable. She said her drinking got "way worse", to the point of drinking in the mornings. [23:43] Talk to us about the last two years of your drinking. Carrie said she has always tried to moderate her drinking, but it was never possible. In March of 2020 her boss called her into his office and asked if she had a problem with alcohol, which she replied "no." However a week later she walked back into his office and said she does have a problem and she wants help. While she did lose her job, she freed herself of the secret. [27:38] Is something different this time around? Carrie stated that yes, this time feels different. After getting through the withdrawals and praying that she wouldn't die, she realized that this time around was the worst withdrawal she had experienced. She decided this was the last time she would ever go through this. Using those physical symptoms to propel herself forward. [32:54] What are you struggling with most right now? Carries says that seclusion is the hardest. She only interacts with her children and isn't able to spend time with friends and family. She misses her church and the ability to worship with other people in the same room. She finds video meet ups helpful, but just not the same thing. [35:25] What are some concepts/mantras you are putting in place to help you continue past these 7 days? Carrie says that she keeps telling herself she is stronger than alcohol and she wants to be free from alcohol. Repeating that to herself over and over. [41:07] What's on your bucket list for this AF life? She is looking forward to interacting with her children again. She is also looking forward to traveling again. [43:17] Do you think you'll be sober in 30 days? Carrie: "Yes I do." [46:28] What advice would you give to your younger self? Carrie doesn't think that her younger self would have listened to any advice. Carrie of today would simply say "It's going to be a rough road, but it will be ok in the end." [48:01] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? When she lost her job due to alcohol, that she needs to quit drinking. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you? Easter with her kids. She was able to hide eggs and baskets again. What's your favorite alcohol-free drink? Water. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Recovery Elevator podcast, AA meetings, reading about addiction. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? You are stronger than alcohol and if you surrender to the addiction to alcohol, you can get past this. You might need to ditch the booze if... Your 18 year old comes into the closet you are hiding in and takes the bottle of vodka and dumps is down the drain. Paul shares a poem written by a listener: "12 Steps to Addiction" A long time ago, I met a friend. Oh, it was a god send. Together, Streams of blood turn into a rushing river, Shaking loose an ancient rigidity. Like a hot fired fever. Cracking a cast of insecurity. Oh paint my vision in saturated tones, Warm my blood, loosen my bones. Tell me stories that aren't true, The biggest lie you told, Is that the only truth is you. I'm tightly steered by your white knuckled grip. "I will make it better" it whispers in sips. I buy another round of your intention. To cure a mental infection, Septic fear

Ruth took her last drink March 21, 2020. With 13 days of sobriety (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF) during a worldwide pandemic. On today's episode Paul discusses the sale of alcohol / liquor stores remaining open worldwide during COVID-19 and its effects. ODAAT: it's not just for those who are living an AF life anymore. The quarantine is an invitation to examine our lives and find new pathways to joy. Paul shares the details about his free guided meditation. To find those meditations, go here. [13:25] Paul introduces Ruth. They start by discussing the email Ruth had sent to Paul directly to ask him what his own thoughts were about living alcohol free during COVID-19. [15:56] What were you feeling when you sent me this email? Ruth became aware that the pandemic was going to be a test for a lot of people. She wanted to let people know that this isn't a time of hopelessness . For her, this is a time to be grateful because of choosing to stop drinking. She is 40 years old, grew up in Denver, CO but now lives in Switzerland. She is a single mom. While currently out of work, she normally is a manager at a small restaurant. For fun Ruth likes to be outside hiking or running. She enjoys a good movie and reading. [24:53] Give us a background on your drinking. Ruth began drinking as a teenager. She first got drunk at the age of 14 with some classmates. She drank for fun as a teen, had a boyfriend that was of age and could purchase alcohol. Ruth got pregnant with her first child at the age of 20 and that stopped alcohol in its tracks. She drank very moderately through her 20s. In her early 30s Ruth noticed that drinking seemed to calm her anxiety, stressors and worries. The association of alcohol and the calming of anxiety stuck with her. In 2014 she moved to Switzerland and began a new romantic relationship that was "very boozy." Her drinking ramped up quickly, drinking daily and often early in the day. [30:43] Was there a time during the escalation of your drinking that you questioned this path? Ruth remembered even during the moderate drinking in her 20s, if she couldn't have a beer or the stores were closed, it created a grumpy feeling. And at the same time, she felt that wasn't the proper emotion to be experiencing. [33:25] Can you think of a definitive moment when you said "I need to quit drinking?" Ruth indicated that there were several attempts, but the catalyst was the breakup from her most recent relationship. She said to herself "if you can survive this breakup, you can stop drinking." Ruth learned about how a breakup and alcohol withdrawal create similar feelings/reactions within the brain. [40:30] Thirteen days ago was your day 1 and in the email you sent me you said it was the hardest day 1. Talk to us about this particular day 1. Ruth said that because she had had 42 days of sobriety before the pandemic started and then drank at the beginning of the pandemic to quiet the noise of everything happening in the world, everything that comes along with drinking was magnified. Thinking about having to break the cycle of drinking again, and in the extra stressful time of COVID was overwhelming. However, she found herself back in a place of joy within 3-4 days, once the chemicals left her body. [45:30] What is something you've learned about yourself along the way? Ruth said that she had a lot of unrealized strength and through that found herself again. [48:00] How are you filling your time currently? Ruth said reading, listening to podcasts, cooking from scratch, running, walking, yoga, watching Tiger King and taking it easy on herself. [49:21] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? Realizing her relationship was toxic as well as alcohol is toxic and how they were parallel. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you? Spending time with a family member recently and being 100% present. What's your favorite alcohol-free drink? Sparkling water and coffee. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Recovery Elevator podcast, This Naked Mind, the stopdrinking subreddit What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol? Go to the Greenfield Festival in with her son sober and sober camping trips. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Don't give up. Never quit trying to give up alcohol, no matter how many day 1s you have. Find and use all resources. It will eventually take if you keep trying. You might need to ditch the booze if... You go out for a couple drinks and wake up with confetti in the bed and you have no idea where it came from or how it got there. You can read more about what the World Health Organization (WHO) says about using alcohol as a coping technique during this time of lockdown here. Upcoming Events and Retreats: You can find more information about our events here. The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Re

Kirby took her last drink March 25, 2018. This is her story. On today's episode Paul shares more stories from listeners, and Café RE members, sharing their experiences during the Covid-19 pandemic. We'd love to hear how you are doing through this as well. Email your story to [email protected]. Paul shares the details about his free guided meditation. To find those meditations, go here. [16:41] Paul introduces Kirby. Kirby is 30 years old and lives in Charleston, SC. She is single and lives with 2 other family members and her 3 cats. For fun Kirby likes to try new things, even things she thinks she won't be interested in. Spending time outside brings her joy. Her favorite alcohol free concert was Ryan Caraveo. [19:40] Give us a background on your drinking. Kirby thinks her first drink was around the age, of 13. She doesn't exactly remember, but has been able to piece it together through asking friends. Her first black out happened at the age of 16, which she considers the starting point of drinking. At 19 she began working at a sports bar which allowed her to keep drinking, even under age. When she turned 21, she posted to Facebook that she wanted to hit "burned out liquor head status" and drank for the next 30 days straight. [21:38] What happened after those 30 days? Did you have withdrawal symptoms or return to normal drinking or did signs of addiction show at this time? Kirby said she doesn't really remember because drinking at that level, the memories are really fuzzy. But she believes she went back to normal drinking for her, which was only on Thursdays, Fridays, Saturday and sometimes Sundays. Kirby and her friends said that shots "don't count." So while she was drinking 5-6 beers, she was also having 5-6 shots. At the age of 26 was when the drinking took a turn. Kirby got out of a relationship and started to burn the candle at both ends. Drinking 8 -10 beers a night, matching that with shots. Here is when she figured out that if she didn't do shots, she wouldn't black out, meaning she wasn't drunk. [24:04] Was blacking out just to go away and not feel / be empty for a while? Kirby said definitely, and that also part of the fun was piecing back together the night before. Sitting with friends and putting the night back together based on who remembers what. At this time she also began to put rules into place for her drinking because she knew that once she started she wasn't going to stop drinking. [27:20] When was the first time you said Uh-oh about your drinking? Kirby said that the first time she felt something was wrong with her drinking was when she woke up in October 2017 with 13 broken bones in her wrist and had to have surgery. To this day she has no recollection of how this happened. [33:22] What happened on March 25, 2018? Kirby says the process started 4 days before that. She began searching for recovery options. The next day while she was drinking, "Sober Kirby" showed up in the middle of a blackout and declared to her family that she needed to stop drinking and start going to AA meetings. The next day her family told her the story back to her. [40:55] What were the responses when you started burning the ships? Kirby said that a lot of people believed it was a phase, but she kept the forward momentum to hold onto sobriety. [46:34] Talk to us about the difficult time you had at the Recovery Elevator Live event in Nashville. Kirby said she made the goal to travel every month the year of 2019. Not having anything planned for February, she joined Café RE and pulled the trigger and bought the Nashville ticket. She considered turning around even on her drive to TN. At the event, she has an awakening that hurt people, hurt people and this gave her a moment of clarity: everyone has pain. Kirby opened up and found compassion in other people. [54:56] What is an excuse you used to tell yourself as to why you couldn't quit drinking? Kirby said because she wouldn't be fun anymore, she wouldn't have friends anymore. [55:20] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? Realizing I didn't have to drink anymore vs I couldn't drink anymore. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you? Watching the sunrise over the mountains on her 30th birthday What's your favorite alcohol-free drink? Black coffee or blackberry Bubly or Firebrew. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Café RE Facebook group, Recovery Elevator podcast, Recovery Happy Hour Podcast, speaking/connecting with other sober people. What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol? Traveling to all 50 states, she has 8 left! What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Why not start today? You might need to ditch the booze if... If you get a new chat system at work and you can add your own emojis and you add a carbomb and a bud light lime logo as your first emojis. Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020

Tom took his last drink February 16, 2019. This is his story. On today's episode Paul shares stories from listeners, and Café RE members, sharing their experiences during this Covid-19 pandemic. We'd love to hear how you are doing through this as well. Email your story to [email protected]. Paul also reminds us to cut ourselves a break, practice self-love and compassion. He asks that you love yourself, regardless of where you are on this journey. For some free guided meditations, go here. [18:55] Paul introduces Tom. Tom is 64 years old and lives along the shore of Lake Erie, near Cleveland, OH. He is married and has 2 adult children, a son and a daughter. For work Tom is a graphic artist, and for fun Tom loves to cook, which led him to vegetable gardening, which is also a loved pastime of his. Tom is also a big history buff. [26:55] Give us a background on your drinking. Tom started drinking in high school and found it helped him overcome his shyness. He continued to drink regularly for about 18 years. He didn't drink every day, was more of a binge drinker. Drinking made outgoing and he liked it. In 1991 Tom got a DUI while driving home from a wedding. Up until that point Tom had never thought about quitting drinking. After getting the DUI he just stopped. He stopped for about 14 years. [28:25] What happened after 14 years? Tom said after 14 years he just started easing back into it, drinking occasionally. That continued from about 2005 to 2017. In 2017 Tom realized that his drinking was causing more anxiety than it was solving, and he became sober-curious. [34:00] Was there a time during those 5 months of day 1s that you just wanted to give up? Tom said it was more a frustration because it was ridiculously consistent and he couldn't seem to break the habit. In February of 2019 Tom got the flu and missed a couple days of work, during which he drank, while trying to hide it. Tom's wife called him out on it and on February 17, 2019, Tom joined Café RE and hasn't had a drink since. [39:00] What was it like when you reached out for additional accountability? Tom said he thought, why should he do this alone, so after listening to the Recovery Elevator podcast he joined Café RE. He started getting posting videos and connecting with other members. The connections led to in-person meetups which are one of the biggest parts of Tom's sobriety and life. [47:47] What can you say to people out there that are struggling and can't make it past day 1? Tom says that when you are getting started you have to change everything that you are doing. He also suggests going for a walk until the cravings go away. [55:22] What excuse did you used to tell yourself as to why you couldn't quit drinking? Tom said it was more of the excuse, why should he, rather than why he couldn't. [56:20] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? That drinking wasn't a solution for anxiety, it was more of a cause for anxiety. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you? Meetups, absolutely meetups. What's your favorite alcohol-free drink? Virgin Canadian Whiskey and Diet Coke. What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol? Meeting more people from Café RE. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Really connect, connect, connect on a personal level. You might need to ditch the booze if... You order a cello while drinking and you don't play a musical instrument. Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 You can find more information about our event here. The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you have to take the stairs back up. You can do this."

Derek took his last drink August 22, 2019. This is his story. On today's episode Paul talks about what a Nolo drink is, non-alcoholic beers, and kombucha…and whether, or not, we should stay away from them if they have trace amounts of alcohol. He also talks about the roll, if any, that cannabis and plant medicine play in recovery. Paul also explains about some of the changes taking place with Café RE. Sone of the changes is, starting on May 1st, 15% of the membership fees will dedicated towards a partnership with a non-profit organization that is geared towards helping those affected by addiction. The link to the article where Paul gets his information from can be found here. [15:35] Paul introduces Derek. Derek is 35-year-old and is from New York City, currently living in Philadelphia, and is a real estate agent. Derek loves riding his bike and playing ping pong. [18:42] Give us a background on your drinking. Derek started drinking when he was 13 years old, drinking on the streets of New York. Derek realized that he loved the feeling of being out of control. When Derek was 17 years old his father was killed in the World Trade Center and he used alcohol to cover up those feelings. Alcohol helped him get through those brutal moments and became like his best friend. He says he continued to drink like that up until 6 months ago (his sobriety date) and those feelings are all coming back up. [21:00] When did you start to realize that alcohol was not working for you? Derek said it was about 3 years ago. The negative started to outweigh the positive. [23:14] What happened when you realized this? Derek said he started keeping track on a calendar of his drinking days, verses his non-drinking days. He tried to slow down. He started making negotiations with himself, like not drinking during the week, only drinking beer. One very drunk night he realized that he just had to stop, that moderation did not work for him. [27:35] Why do you think willpower flew out the window when you were drinking? Derek said that when he took that first sip he was no longer in control. He said it was like a monster that lived inside of him and every time he let it out, he was no longer in control. [32:33] Talk to us about that moment you stopped drinking, and how you did it. Derek said the first couple days were easy because he had such a bad hangover, but the first weekend was tough because he didn't know what to do, that he had not gone a weekend without drinking in years and years. He said what he started to do was start to do the things he enjoyed again. He started to play the piano and guitar again, started to workout again. [35:30] How did you do it after the first week? Derek says he started watching YouTube videos of people that had gotten sober. He found the Recovery Elevator app…and then the podcast. [37:20] What are some of the emotions you are facing now that you are no longer drinking? Derek said that in a way he had never dealt with losing his dad in the way he had. He recently got married and could not share that with his father. [38:10] What is important to you in life? Derek says his health is one of the most important things to him. He said that also that just who he is, is important to him. Drinking made him a liar and selfish, and that has changed a lot. He now tries to be a better person overall. [38:50] What are some strategies you use now, instead of drinking? Derek says that exercise is big, he wakes up early to exercise. He has started using a steam sauna, ping pong, biking, outdoor activities. Derek also said that talking to other people that have similar stories, that he had just attended his first meeting. [39:40] What roll has your wife played in this? Derek said that his wife stopped drinking with him and that she has been his biggest supporter. [43:30] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? That I am stronger than I thought I was. What's an excuse that you used to tell yourself for why you couldn't quit drinking? My friends, my social circle…what would I do, I wouldn't have anyone. What's your favorite alcohol-free drink? Coffee or seltzer. What are some of your favorite resources? Your podcast, I'm not just trying to blow smoke, it's really helped me a lot. What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol? To stay alcohol free is the number one thing, and I would like to travel again. What are your thoughts on relapse? It's never going to happen to me. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Just do it. You might need to ditch the booze if... You think you might need to ditch the booze. Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 You can find more information about our event here. The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for

Raj took his last drink May 11, 2014. This is his story. On today's episode Paul zooms out and talks about the journey. If you are listening to this podcast you are an active participant in the center of the ring. Your conscious decision to ditch the booze places you in the center of the ring. Who is the critic when you're in the ring grappling with alcohol? You are, but you can rewire those thoughts and become your greatest cheerleader. Watch the video of the little girl not giving up here. [16:05] Paul introduces Raj. Raj is 54 years old and is from Las Angeles. He is divorced and has a 13-year-old son. Raj is an avid cyclist and says it keeps him sober. [22:20] Give us a background on your drinking. Raj says he didn't really drink until college and even then, it was a very slow progression. In 1991 Raj started having adverse consequences to his drinking, such a getting a DUI and not getting hired for a job. In 2010, and the following 3 years, his drinking totally spiraled out of control. [25:50] During this progression were you able to step back and see the writing on the wall? Raj said he definitely did not. He said he lived in denial for over 20 years. [26:46] Get us up to speed to May 2011. Raj said he always performed well in his career; his drinking didn't affect it. But in the summer of 2010 Raj had a serious biking accident and broke his ankle and was prescribed an insane amount of Vicodin. In a period of 4 months he watched his work productivity go to hell, actually getting put on probation at work. Because work was always something that he could keep together, Raj said he lost it at this point. His drinking and drug use took off. That led to another DUI in May of 2011, which led him to the doors of AA. [29:25] Fill in the gaps between your first AA meeting and May 2014? Raj said he started going to AA and got a sponsor, but didn't really do the steps. In 2012 he convinced himself that he didn't have a drinking problem, but was still having blackouts and waking up in the hospital not knowing how he got there. In November of 2012, after a locking himself in his hotel room while at a work retreat, causing a huge scene at the airport, and landing in the hospital again Raj was fired from his job. This led Raj to The Betty Ford treatment facility and Raj says this was his rock bottom moment. Two more rehabs, another DUI, and Raj finally got sober in May of 2014. [34:20] What happened next? Raj said he started taking AA seriously, got a new sponsor that was pretty much an AA hard ass that took Raj through the 12 steps. Raj says he was just ready. He had to become humble, and willing to ask for help. [38:05] What is an excuse that you used to tell yourself for why you couldn't quit drinking? One was he had a wine cellar, he had to drink all the wine. How would he deal with stress and anxiety? [38:55] How do you deal with stress without alcohol? Raj uses biking and exercise, AA meetings, talking to his sponsor, and spending time with his son. [49:50] What do you think was one of the hardest things about quitting drinking? Raj said it was trying to get the message down to his subconscious that he was no longer drinking. [55:50] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? That we can't do this alone. What's a memorable moment a life without alcohol has provided you? My son was in a play at school and I was able to be present and witness it, and was able to tell him what an amazing job. What's your favorite alcohol-free drink? Club soda. What are some of your favorite resources? The Big Book or AA is a terrific resource. Café RE UP, AA meetings when I am on the road especially. What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol? There are a bunch bike challenges that I want to do. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? If you're struggling at staying sober don't give up. You might need to ditch the booze if... If you are driving drunk 300 miles with your 3-year-old child in the car. Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 You can find more information about our event here. The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Resources mentioned in this episode: BetterHelp BetterHelp Visit https://www.recoveryelevator.com/betterhelp and join the over 700,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at https://www.recoveryelevator.com/betterhelp Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you have to take the stairs back up. You can do this."

Lucas took his last drink November 13, 2018. This is his story. On today's episode Paul talks about crisis. In some languages the word 'crisis' is coupled with the word 'opportunity'. Everyone experiences crisis' in life, but we are the fortunate ones that are forced to reach out for help. We are then in this together…think the movie, The Breakfast Club. [11:15] Paul introduces Lucas. Lucas is 32 years old, was born and raised in the DC metro area. He is married, no kids yet. Lucas is a UPS driver. He has a dog that they rescued from a shelter. For fun Lucas likes to work out, go to sporting events, and concerts. [17:00] Give us a background on your drinking. Lucas started drinking when he was 13 years old. By the time he was 15/16 he says he would routinely blackout from drinking. It was at that time he started to realize that it was something he perhaps should look at. Even though he was aware that he may have a problem at this young age his drinking continued to progress through his 20s and college. Lucas said he really started to see the effect that his behavior had on his life in his late 20s, early 30s. [28:44] How powerful was it to bring your wife along with you on your journey? Lucas said that it has been vital to his sobriety, that it was so critical because it (sobriety) has been such a hard, and courageous, thing to do. [33:33] Talk to us about what you meant when you said, "moderation in all in my mind". Lucas says that moderation is not an attainable thing for him, that it is a word that was made up to make him feel better and convince himself that he could continue to have alcohol in his life. Once he realized that moderation wasn't a thing it was freeing. [39:55] Talk to us about quitting Adderall? Lucas said that Adderall was something he started taking in college and not because he really needed it, but because he liked its mood-altering qualities. Once he quit taking it, he realized that it actually was making him less productive and less organized. [44:10] Walk us through a sample day in a life without alcohol. Lucas said he is a creature of habit. He wakes up, lets the dog out, reads meditation passages, goes to the gym, goes to work, goes home, sometimes reads, cooks dinner, visits with his wife when she gets home from work and is in bed by 10/11 PM. [51:00] What is an excuse that you used to tell yourself for why you couldn't quit drinking? Lucas would tell himself that he didn't have a problem. [51:35] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? When I realized how much time I was spending pursuing the feeling that I was never going to obtain again. What's your favorite alcohol-free drink? Lime flavored seltzer water. What are some of your favorite resources? AA, my meditation books, and "In the Rooms", which is online AA meetings. What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol? I need to travel the world. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? To remind yourself how vulnerable, dangerous, and susceptible we all are when we live in unreality. You might need to ditch the booze if... You find yourself asking if you have a drinking problem. Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 You can find more information about our event here. The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you have to take the stairs back up. You can do this."

Renee took her last drink January 2, 2020. This is her story. If you have ever wanted to attend a Recovery Elevator event you should get yourself to Denver in June for the Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - June 11-14th, 2020. This event will be, essentially, the closeout event for Recovery Elevator. You can find more information about our event here. On today's episode Paul talks about Rule 22. What it is. Why it is important to make this rule a part of your life ASAP. Rule 22 = Lighten up. Don't take yourself too seriously. Laughter really is the best medicine. Life is never as serious as the mind wants us to believe. [12:00] Paul introduces Renee. Renee is 40 years old and live in Greendale, WI. She is a hair stylist and is currently working at a children's hair salon. She is married and they have 2 kids, a 10-year-old and a 7-year-old. Renee also has a 20-year-old son from a previous relationship. For fun Renee likes to hike, camp, go on vacations, paddleboard and jigsaw puzzles. [17:25] Give us a background on your drinking. Renee started drinking as a teenager, around the age of 15. She says she did it to fit in and have fun. She met her husband, in a bar, in her early 20s and they pretty much drank together every weekend. It wasn't until 2007 that Renee started drinking more than just on the weekends. After getting married they were drinking 3-4 days out of the week. Renee got pregnant early on and while she couldn't drink due to being pregnant, her husband continued to drink. That made Renee mad because she wanted to drink. Renee did start drinking again, in the hospital, after giving birth to her children. [20:30] Was drinking again, as soon as you had your baby, something that you had pre-planned? Renee said she could not wait to drink after her baby was born. She did the same exact thing during and after her 2nd pregnancy a few years later. [24:18] Why do you think your husband came clean about his drinking? Renee said he told her because he couldn't do it anymore. [24:40] What was your response? Renee was pissed off when he first told her. [28:35] When did you both recognize that alcohol was almost the driving divider? Renee says it was in October of 2019 when her husband told her about his drinking. They started to put all the pieces together and realized that everything bad that had happened between them was caused by alcohol, in some way, or somehow. [30:40] Has there been a moment when one of you was about to drink and you had that conversation where you lean on each other, and you both made it through? Renee said yes, that there had been a couple of those moments. [30:05] Was January 2 a planned date? Renee said yes, it was a planned date. She went to work that day and was cutting hair with shaky hands. [35:40] How did you get through the last 45 days? Renee says that they bought a new treadmill, have been binge watching Netflix, just finding things to keep their minds off of it. But that it was really hard at first. [38:53] How has working with a counselor helped with your anxiety and depression? Renee says it helped a lot. She didn't have any anxiety after the first couple weeks. It just started to get a little better and better until now, when she says she has none. [40:40] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? I realized that alcohol has basically affected everything in my life. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has provided you? Recently we got a lot of snow here and we took the kids sledding. What is some advice you'd give to your younger self? To try and surround myself with people who aren't party people. What are some of your favorite resources? Well definitely your podcast, lots of reading. What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol? We want to do a lot more traveling. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? If you are thinking about drinking, or if you are thinking that you drink too much, you probably do. You might need to ditch the booze if... You do a drunken cartwheel and wake up in the morning to find your whole hand is black and blue because you broke your middle finger. Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 You can find more information about our event here. The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you have to take the stairs back up. You can do this."

Janine took her last drink on October 6, 2019. This is her story. If you have ever wanted to attend a Recovery Elevator event you should get yourself to Denver in June for the Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - June 11-14th, 2020. This event will be, essentially, the closeout event for Recovery Elevator. You can find more information about our event here. On today's episode, Paul talks about your comfort zone, why it's important to have one, why it is so important to get outside of it, and how it is possible to get too far out of it. The true authentic you doesn't exist in your comfort zone. Stepping outside your comfort zone even once, makes it easier that you'll do it again. As for ditching the booze, here are some strategies in regards to the comfort zone. Instead of quitting forever, aim for one day, or 50% of the days in a month. Burning the ships? Go at your own pace. 90 meetings in 90 days too much, aim for 1 a week, then 2 a week. [20:00] Paul introduces Janine. Janine is 32 years old and is from Pensacola, FL. She is married and has a 9-month-old daughter. Janine is a former kindergarten teacher. For fun she likes to go to the beach with her family, walking her dog and spending time with her daughter. [24:00] Give us a background on your drinking. Janine took her first drink when she was 17-years-old and she immediately loved the feeling it gave her. Through college she feels she drank like every other college student. Janine says her drinking didn't take off until she started her teaching career, and that gradually over the years she was drinking more and more. When she met her husband, and knew that it was something serious, she says she knew that she was going to have to do something about her drinking. [26:45] Talk to us about the methods you used to try and control your drinking. Janine said she tried them all. Switched from liquor to wine/beer. Still getting backout drunk after switching to wine she tried drinking a glass of water after every glass of wine. Not drinking during the week, but even when that worked, she was still getting blackout drunk all weekend. [28:15] Was there a time when fear came in and you didn't think you could stop? Janine said yes, that that is exactly what happened. [30:30] Can you tell us a little about postpartum depression? Janine said for her she felt like she lost some of her identity, her whole life now revolved around another human being. She had days when she would look in the mirror and not even recognize herself. Her emotions were all over the place. Janine ended up going to her doctor and getting on antidepressants, but was still drinking. [35:00] Tell us what happened next. After trying to modify, by having no alcohol in the house, Janine said she went and bought 2 bottles of wine and drank them one night after the baby was in bed. She got blackout drunk, sent strange texts, and spent the next day crying and filled with anxiety. She couldn't deny it anymore, she knew she had a problem and couldn't control it. Later that day her dad, a recovering alcoholic himself, called Janine. She says his first words were, "I just felt I needed to call and hear your voice.". Janine said she just lost it and opened up to him for the first time. [40:30] What was that first AA meeting like and what happened after that? Janine said she was terrified to go that first meeting, but that after the meeting people came up and were very friendly. She said she was also comforted by the fact that there were other teachers there. She was still feeling like her life was over that first week. [44:14] Was there a challenging moment when you wanted to drink, and how did you get past it? Janine said she had several in the beginning. She said when those times came up, she would call a friend, or call her sponsor. [45:25] How has the relationship with your husband changed? Janine says her husband fully supports her and has also quit drinking. She feels like their relationship has gotten a lot deeper. [54:30] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? I would say when I made that last attempt to control my drinking by not having alcohol in my house What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has provided you? Spending my daughter's 1st Christmas completely sober. What's your favorite alcohol-free drink? I am a big fan of water. What are some of your favorite resources? I enjoy this podcast; I don't get to attend AA meetings as much as I would like but I also enjoy reading. What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol? I am actually thinking about taking up blogging. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? If you know in your heart that you can't control your drinking anymore, don't listen to the lies that your mind is telling you. You might need to ditch the booze if... You get blackout drunk while watching Dateline. Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June

Aaron took his last drink October 6, 2019. This is his story. If you have ever wanted to attend a Recovery Elevator event you should get yourself to Denver in June for the Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - June 11-14th, 2020. This event will be, essentially, the closeout event for Recovery Elevator. You can find more information about our event here. On today's episode Paul talks about it being possible for things to coexist in your life, you can feel calm and accomplished while you still have things to do. It is important to recognize both parts equally. When you are in the middle of a tough emotion you can chose to ride it out on the surface, which would be the mind, or deep down, which would be the belly area of the body. Do you best to get out of the mind and stay in the belly, preferably with belly breaths. [13:00] Paul introduces Aaron. Aaron is 54 years old and lives in Pittsburgh, PA. He is a chiropractor and loves health, fitness and exercise. Aaron has a 65-acre farm and plays rugby. [17:50] Give us a background on your drinking. Aaron didn't drink until his dad passed away from heart failure when Aaron was a junior in college. His friend left some wine coolers at his house and he decided to give them a try and he liked the way they made him feel. He continued to drink through college and alcohol made him the life of the party. Aaron moved to Florida after graduation, he was 21 years old and had a teaching degree. He was only drinking on the weekends at this time and started playing rugby. He says drinking and rugby go hand in hand. Aaron graduated from chiropractor school and continued to only drink on the weekends. This was his drinking pattern through his 30s and 40s. It was in his late 40s that he realized that he hadn't gone a week without drinking, even if it was only on the weekends. He thought he might have an issue with alcohol but he didn't think it was a big deal. [29:55] Talk to us about how you tried to hide it before you fully got on board on stopping. Aaron says that this went on for years. He was hiding beers in cereal boxes. He was waking up in the middle of the night with pounding headaches. Aaron said his wife started to notice what he was doing and started to call him out. He started getting sick and having headaches after just 2 beers. [33:33] Get us up to speed to before your sobriety date. Aaron says in 2018 he stopped drinking for 6 months, but then at a bar one night said, "I got this.", and had an IPA. That started another year of drinking for Aaron. In October of 2019 he said he has got to stop (drinking) and that time he meant it. [39:22] What has been working for you these last few months? Aaron said he listened to the Recovery Elevator podcast. He told his wife and kids. Aaron has started to tell other people that he just isn't drinking anymore. [42:05] What has been the biggest thing you have learned about yourself along the way? Aaron says he thinks he saw himself as being compulsive and having a problem and then thinking he can break the problem. [47:40] What got you through your brother's death without taking a drink? Aaron said he had no desire to drink at all, he knew that his brother's death was caused by alcohol. He no longer has a mental or physical desire for alcohol. [51:30] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? When I saw my kids drinking and having problems that I had. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has provided you? When we go out to restaurants and I order water with lemon. What's your favorite alcohol-free drink? Seltzer water. What are some of your favorite resources? I only have one, I listen to Recovery Elevator over and over and over. What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol? I just want to have family functions without beer. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Just keep listening. You might need to ditch the booze if... When you are having drinks out at the restaurant and you go to the bathroom and your pee is clear and you say to yourself, yes…it's kicking in, because you know now that the beer is kicking in. Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 You can find more information about our event here. The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – It All Starts from the Inside Out. We can do this."

Tara took her last drink February 4, 2019. This is her story. On today's episode Paul talks about the top 10 reasons for quitting drinking. Number one; your authentic self will begin to emerge. Number two; you don't have a headache due to lack of aspirin in your system. Number three; you'll begin to find out who you aren't. Number four; you're open to signs from the universe. Number five; you can start to see the insanity of the mind. Number six; your brain will start to produce regular amounts of melatonin. Number seven; welcome back oxytocin. Number eight; you're part of something much bigger. Number nine; you stop hoping. Number ten; you have a chance to start working on the one big lesson you've signed up for in this lifetime. [19:15] Paul introduces Tara. Tara is 46 years old and lives in Seattle, WA. She is a preschool teacher, founded her own preschool 25 years ago. She is married to her high school sweetheart and has 2 adult children. For fun Tara loves to dance. [22:30] Give us a background on your drinking. Tara says there were 3 scary moments that caused her to pause and think that alcohol could be a problem. The first was when she was 15 years old and she was at a wedding and the bar was opened up to her. This was a formal wedding and Tara jumped into the pool. She was the only one in the pool. Tara's second scary moment was also in high school. She was at a party drinking hard alcohol and decided to get into the hot tub. Tara says she got so sick that she threw up blood. Tara's third scary moment came when she was in her forties and was on an annual girl's trip to Palm Springs. She drank like she normally did, with no off switch, and she fell and hit her head. All Tara could think about when that happened is that that was how her dad died. [38:25] Talk to us about right before you quit drinking. Tara says she went to a party and started drinking, and instead of calming her anxiety like she felt alcohol usually did, her anxiety amped up. It made her question how much she was going to have to drink to feel that 'warm blanket'. [42:50] Your Dad is listening right now, what do you have to say to him? Tara said she just wants to let her Dad know that she loves him, and she's proud of him. [45:20] How did your relationship with your husband change after you quit drinking? Tara says that her bond with her husband is even stronger and deeper now. [49:00] What has been your biggest challenge this last year? Tara says is the ones that kind or catch you out of nowhere. [50:40] What's an excuse you used to tell yourself of why you couldn't quit drinking? Tara said it was telling herself that she didn't drink every day or that she didn't drink by herself. [51:20] What are your thoughts on relapse? Tara says that on a personal level she doesn't see it happening to herself. [54:40] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? I'm happier without alcohol. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has provided you? A trip to Costa Rica and no drinking whatsoever. What's your favorite alcohol-free drink? I like iced tea or Bubly water with a little mint in it. What are some of your favorite resources? I love to listen to your podcast, and many others. What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol? A lot more travel, and I hope to go to Thailand. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Just stick with it. You might need to ditch the booze if... You put a bikini on at a formal wedding and jump into the pool when nobody else is in the pool. Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 You can find more information about our event here. The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – It All Starts from the Inside Out. We can do this."

Vinny took his last drink 9 ½ years ago. This is his story. On today's episode Paul talks about change. Whether you like it, or not, you are always changing. You're either building new circuits or adding new blockages to your energy field. With an addiction it's either gaining momentum or you're lessening the energetic bonds of the addiction. You must make time to always do the work. [15:45] Paul introduces Vinny. Vinny is 61 years old and lives in Bangkok. For fun Vinny like to read, watch a good TV series, going to meetings and helping people. [19:20] Give us a background on your drinking. Vinny discovered alcohol in his late teens and continued to use it for 10 years. The next 10 years involved alcohol and smoking marijuana. He added crack to the mix and became a crack addict for the following 5 years. He went to 2 treatment centers and didn't get clean until 2004. He hit his bottom while living (homeless) in Las Vegas. He managed to get sober after that and it lasted 3 years. [22:45] What in your message you want to get out? Vinny says that recovery can be simple. Simple means it's not complicated. [27:13] How can thinking get us into more trouble? Vinny says that most of us do not think, or see, very clearly. He says we act based on the false evidence we see in front of us, so obviously if we are not relating to reality, we are always going to make the wrong choices. [30:05] What do you see is the biggest challenge that someone on this journey will face? Vinny says he thinks that people have the illusion that they have to do it all themselves. [38:05] What do you think addiction is and where do you think it comes from? Vinny says he doesn't know where addiction comes from, and that it doesn't matter. [44:00] Talk to us a little bit about self-loathing. Vinny says self-loathing is shame. [46:35] Talk to us about burning the ships and being honest with others. Vinny says that sometimes we are not even aware that we aren't honest with ourselves. [52:30] Do you think that someone can become recovered? Vinny says if you want to use the word recovered in the present moment, yes. If recovered means you are cured, then no. [54:50] Rapid Fire Round What is your favorite alcohol-free drink? Pepsi-Cola What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has provided you? The energy here at my job, on a Saturday afternoon, seeing 30 recovering people connect with each other. What's some of the best advice you've ever received? Don't take yourself too seriously. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Take responsibility for yourself. You might need to ditch the booze if... You are a healthcare provider and you are taking care of somebody that needs you, and you have ran out of booze at 3 o'clock in the morning, and you abandon him and go and get booze. Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 Recovery Elevator in Costa Rica: From Jungle to the Beach - October 8 - 18th, 2020 You can find more information about our events here. The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Resources mentioned in this episode: ZipRecruiter This episode is brought to you in support by ZipRecruiter. Right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free. Visit Ziprecruiter.com/elevator Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – It All Starts from the Inside Out. We can do this."

Sofi took her last drink on April 28, 2014. This is her story. On today's episode Paul talks about tough love. If you are saying you want to quit drinking…but…"you can't because…fill in the blank ", or "you can't because you don't want to…fill in the blank", in other words, you want to quit but don't want to put in the work, well here's some tough love for you…that doesn't work. [11:00] Paul introduces Sofi. Sofi is 30 years old and it from London. She has 4 older sisters. For fun Sofi enjoys exercise and hanging out in nature while listening to podcasts. [15:00] Give us a background on your drinking. Sofi says she has always had an addictive personality. With alcohol Sofi noticed a change around the age of 14. She was at a boarding school so all her drinking took place on the weekends. Sofi says that the wheels came off when she went to university. Freshman year she was going out every night. By her 2nd year of university, when most of her friends had slowed down, Sofi continued her drinking ways. Sofi never finished university and at the age of 21 was in her fist rehab. That began a revolving door for the next 4 years…rehab, relapse, rehab, relapse. [21:00] 13 treatment centers, was there ever a time when you just felt like the next one wasn't going to work? Sofi says she liked rehab. She liked that when she was there, she met people that thought like she did. [25:50] What does 'you can't think your way out of this problem' mean to you? Sofi said she had learned all the tools in all of her rehab stays, but because she didn't know how to use them, she kept relapsing and going back. It wasn't until she had a moment of clarity that it all came together and made sense. [31:15] Talk to us about what you learned in those first 3 years, and then in the 2 years after that. Sofi says she was learning to live through the highs and lows during the first 3 years. She also learned, through the AA community, that she wasn't such a bad person and how to make things right with her family. The biggest thing that Sofi has learned, and is still learning, is that she does not need to punish herself. [34:05] How do you address self-loathing? Sofi says she at the place where she accepts herself, most of the time. She tries to treat herself as she would treat someone else. [36:15] Talk to us a little bit about your experience here at Hope Rehab. Sofi says it is such a fun environment. Hope Rehab is teaching people how to enjoy life sober. There is a big emphasis on exercise. [41:15] Rapid Fire Round What is a memorable moment, that a life without alcohol, has given you? Going on holiday with my family again, for the first time sober. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink? Hard to narrow it down, but anything sour. What are some of your favorite resources? It's easily other people. What's on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life? I'm living it now, going around the world and seeing as much of it as I can. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Stay connected. You might need to ditch the booze if... You have started drinking secretly. Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 Recovery Elevator in Costa Rica: From Jungle to the Beach - October 8 - 18th, 2020 You can find more information about our events here. The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Resources mentioned in this episode: Hope Rehab https://www.hope-rehab-center-thailand.com/ BetterHelp Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR. Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – It All Starts from the Inside Out. We can do this."