Recovery Elevator

Early took their last drink November 16, 2019. With almost 8 months (at the time of recording) this is their story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette's weekly installment of: Finding the Better You. Co-occurring disorders or dual diagnosis describes a person who has more than one medical issue either with two diseases simultaneously or one disease successively after the other. These may be mental or physical. Odette reminds us that we are not alone. [5:23] Odette introduces Early. Early is 32 years old and living off the grid on the Ozark Plateau. They have 3 dogs who are their very best friends. For work they go back and forth between migrant farm work and restaurant service industry. For fun they like to learn about the area surrounding them, the plants and animals. Also chopping wood and the other living in the woods chores. Living off the grid means that Early is not connected to the electrical power grid & any city water or sewage. They have solar power and collect rain water or spring water. They have a composting outhouse. Early says they are connected to the earth in a way that feels more ethical to them. [8:33] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Early said that their whole life has been characterized by very intense addiction. The first drink they had was a stolen Miller High Life at the age of 10. The first blackout came at 14, drinking in the mornings and vomiting in their sleep came at 16. They were drawn to alcohol due to being socially awkward and having few friends. Being a deviant led them into a world of acceptance. As an adult, along with therapy and their diagnosis as being on the spectrum, these factors make sense now. By 18 Early was drinking daily and that's the first time they wanted to stop drinking. Willpower didn't work and AA wasn't the avenue they wanted to take. Between the ages of 18 and 31 they tried many times to quit. [11:44] When did you receive your diagnosis? Early said at 29 there was an incident in which they sexually assaulted their best friend. It never would have happened if they had not been under the influence of alcohol. After that they checked themself into a mental hospital for help. There they were diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Early's therapist post that also diagnosed them with Autisms Spectrum disorder and PTSD from childhood sexual abuse. [13:43] What went through your mind after all these diagnoses? Early said leaving the mental hospital they were detoxed from alcohol and also on new anti-psychotic medicine for brand new diagnoses. They weren't given any tools on how to handle not drinking and their only coping ability from the past 20 years, so to cope, they drank. [16:20] What happened after you left the hospital? Early said that they knew they needed to remove alcohol but had no tools. They would white knuckle it for a few days and then drink. Over time they began to find different tools that worked for them. They incorporated yoga, drinking more water, changing their diet, getting regular sleep (basic needs as Early says!). However, the feeling of shame and the belief that they are a bad person remained. Early began drinking in secret and isolating themselves in-between moments of white knuckling sobriety. [20:12] You seem to have such grit. Where did this come from and how did you find the determination to keep trying? Early said their last night of drinking was an average night of drinking. The change began a year ago when their father passed away suddenly. They saw life from outside their own for the first time. That winter they declared that they would do anything to get sober. They kept trying and using all the tools they had learned over the years of trying to quit. They stopped feeling sorry for themselves and that helped to cut the shame. Early learned they were worthy of love and happiness. They describe themselves as a hard headed stubborn determined person and that might be the grit that is seen. [27:51] How is it balancing and navigating symptoms from these disorders? Early said that preventative maintenance for everything has dulled down many of the symptoms day to day. Every day they make sure they are getting proper nutrition, getting enough sleep, drinking enough water and feeding their soul. Taking care of the body and mind at a baselevel is paramount. [29:58] Tell me about the people surrounding you? Early said they understands they hurt a lot of people and people who left did so for a reason. And now the longer they are sober and people see them out doing the work, people are slowly returning into their life. [34:06] Can you tell me about your routine? Early said that they have a morning routine. Every day they try to wake up at the same time, drink water, walk their dogs, eat, take herbs, do meditation, work on a project that makes them proud (currently building their own house). In the evenings, eat dinner, listen to a podcast, do some meditation and go to sleep at the same time. [35:37] Tell me more about

Anika is the founder of Grüvi and a member of the sober curious community. This is her story of being an entrepreneur and helping to provide NA beverages to those who want them. Odette's weekly installment of: Finding the Better You. You are in charge of setting and honoring your own boundaries. Everyone has different triggers, for example if NA beers and beverages are triggering to you, then you don't have to explore that avenue. You know how to best protect your journey. Stay open and stay curious and protect your energy. [4:53] Odette introduces Anika. Anika is sober curious so she's not very strict on keeping track of dates. But her last drink was right around the beginning of Covid. She is 24 years old and lives in Canada. She enjoys being outdoors, yoga, hiking and traveling. [6:56] Walk me through your sober curious journey. Anika said her sober curious nature came out during her last year at University. She was a social drinker, but in her last year she found herself saying "I don't want to have to go out with friends tonight, because then I will have to drink and then I will be hung over." She experienced all the benefits of a life away from alcohol: better sleep, having more clarity and being more productive. [9:38] Did something spark your thought process to become aware of a life away from alcohol at such a young age? Anika said at first, she was like everyone else with regards to drinking and felt it was a stage in life. But when she created the Grüvi brand was when she really started to see how life can continue on without alcohol and with an alternate beverage. She was able to have a social life without having to have the social lubricant. [11:15] How did Grüvi start? Grüvi launched a year ago in Denver and it's a family business. They have been a health focused family, led by their father. Finding that the NA category was lacking in options pushed them to create Grüvi. [12:34] Where did the name come from? Anika said Grüvi is taking the word "groovy" and making it fun and new. You can be fun and silly and youthful even without alcohol. [14:59] Tell me about the specifics of Grüvi? Currently, there are 4 craft beers and 1 prosecco. The beers are brewed through a process of arrested fermentation, which stops the brewing before any alcohol is introduced. However, because this does go through a fermentation process, there are trace amounts of alcohol (similar to kombuca). The prosecco is 0.0% ABV. They are expanding too! Anika says that hopefully they will be offering a bubbly Rose by the end of summer 2020. [20:58] Are most people open to the dialogue (about this NA movement)? Anika said that after living in Denver for over a year after University and returning to Canada and the friend group there, she was a little nervous. Through this she has realized that her friends support her no matter what. And she told them she is happy with her decision to not be drinking so they should be too. [23:10] What's it like working with your family? Anika said so far, it's been great! They are living together again as a family and it's been smooth. She's enjoying the opportunity to grow closer to her family through this. [33:30] What are you excited about right now? Anika said every day is new and exciting. Grüvi is at that step where they are expanding and growing. This includes new states and being able to be local and accessible to more people. They are expanding their ambassador program and Anika is spearheading this. She loves getting to talk to the community and grow the movement together. [36:50] Rapid Fire Round Other than Grüvi, what's your favorite NA beverage? Being her own bartender and making mocktails or a matcha latte. What is a memorable moment you've had while not drinking? Going out dancing with her friends and enjoying the music. What are some of your favorite resources? Books: The Sober Curious & This Naked Mind Instagram accounts: @Ditchedthedrink @soberbabes What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners who are thinking about ditching the booze? Take the first jump, the first decision is always the hardest. You have nothing to lose. Odette's challenge this week: Give a new tool a try. Maybe you go to an AA meeting for the first time, maybe you join Café Re, maybe you ask a friend to be your accountability partner, maybe you try a new Kombucha flavor or you try a new meditation. If we don't try new things we will never know if it will help us in this journey. Email Odette here and tell her what you tried. Grüvi discount detail: For 15% off your order with Grüvi visit their website and use the promo code recovery elevator at checkout. Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. Upcoming events, retreats and courses: Recovery Elevator's first ever REgionals! Join us for our online zoom conference this October 23-24th. This event is for Café RE Members only. Not a member yet?! Sign up he

Alan took his last drink December 23, 2019. With almost 6 months (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Announcing Recovery Elevator's first ever REgionals! Join us for our online zoom conference this October 23-24th. This event is for Café RE Members only. Not a member yet?! Sign up here and use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Odette's weekly installment of: Finding the Better You. The New York Times article "Should We Be Drinking Less?" is from July 10th, 2020. It's the stark contrast to articles which tout having 1-2 glasses of wine has healthy benefits or how rose will help you through motherhood. The idea that moderate drinking is acceptable actually keeps people drinking because it's seen as ok in the eyes of society. There is a shift that is happening and people are questioning the narrative of what's acceptable when drinking. [7:47] Odette introduces Alan. Alan lives outside Atlanta and is 49 years old. His last drink was the day before Christmas Eve 2019. He drank everything and was blackout drunk that night. His 15 year old daughter had been at a friend's house and came home to find her father passed out in a chair with a spilled glass of wine. The next morning knowing his daughter had seen that changed the course of his life. He didn't want to live that way any longer. Alan's daughter mentioned above is actually one of triplets. He has three 15 year old children and has been married to his wife for almost 18 years. He's in software sales and is trying to figure out what he likes to do for fun now that he's sober. He enjoys health and fitness and has a Peloton. [18:37] Walk me through your drinking career. Alan said that he began drinking in high school and it started out normal, transitioned into college and that drinking atmosphere. College for him was one big party. He continued the pace of college drinking afterwards. He worked for a year in Aspen and drank 7 days a week. He returned to Atlanta, while his drinking slowed, he was always concerned about where the next drink was coming from and this is when his drinking became abnormal. Alan believes he was covering up fear with his drinking. Fear of fitting in, fear of getting a good job, fear of making enough money, fear of meeting the right girl, fear of getting a big title. The fear was gone when he drank. [27:15] Tell me about joining Café RE and how was that first month? Alan said Café RE was the springboard to connection. He didn't realize the connection was so powerful with other people looking to live the same life. After feeling like he had been driving in foggy conditions for 10 years, the fog cleared and he was able to see finally. [33:36] What works for you when you have a craving? Alan said he has learned a ton of tools in Café RE. The biggest one is from Paul's book, Alcohol is SH!T, which says to "play the tape forward". While he can romanticize the drink on his porch, Alan can also now see where that one drink will lead. He's seen the movie, he knows the ending and it's not good! [36:11] How has your family dynamic changed? Alan said about 3 months in his wife looked at him and told him he was like a new person. He is present now. While he's always been a father who was physically there, he always existed in the fog. He told his daughter that he was getting help for his drinking and that's a huge accountability step for him, one he can never go back on. [41:00] What have you discovered about yourself? Alan said he's learned he can juggle a lot of things in life. He has the ability to handle what life throws at him. [42:51] If you could talk to day 1 Alan, what would you say? Connect with likeminded individuals as soon as possible. Do not attempt to do this alone. [43:20] Had you tried to stop drinking previously? Alan said he probably tried about 4 times seriously. But never had connection, resources, understanding or community. He always went at it alone and would call himself a Dry Drunk. [44:52] Rapid Fire Round What do you bring to a BYO party? Bubly, 1 can of Monster Energy drink What is a drinking myth you've seen debunked? Myth: You can't have fun without drinking. Truth: You can have SO much fun without drinking (and the next day!) Do you celebrate milestones? Yes, but the journey is never ending. What are some words of wisdom you can share with listeners? If you are thinking about this path, I promise you life is better without the booze. The fog will lift! You may have to say adios to alcohol... if you're at the airport bar and the gate is right across from you, but you intentionally miss your flight so you can keep drinking. Odette's challenge this week: Share the NY Times article with someone you know. Plant the seed of living a life away from alcohol. Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. Upcoming events, retreats and courses: Ditching the Booze - The What, the Wh

Jim took his last drink April 7, 2020. With just over 70 days (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Today Odette opens talking about finding the better you and her own take away from Holly Whitaker's Quit Like A Woman. She focuses on what Holly says about when a craving strikes. Learn to relax into the craving rather than distract. RASINS Recognize Allow Set aside the story Investigate what is happening in your body Name the sensations Surf Let's set the scene: You have finished your 100th zoom call of the day and you are ready to relax for the night. You want to pour a glass of wine. Here is how to implement RASINS. Admit the craving, allow the craving to build, set aside the negative thoughts telling you that you suck. Maybe try a meditation practice. Focus on how your body is feeling. Is your heart racing, are your palms sweating? Ride the wave of emotion, this is manageable. [7:12] Odette introduces Jim. Jim is 71 years old and he lives on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. He is about to retire fully from his career in public education. He's been married for 47 years and has 3 children and 4 grandkids. He enjoys hiking, reading, swimming and volunteering at church and in schools. He has recently picked up golf too! [11:33] Can you give listeners a history on your drinking? Jim said he began drinking in high school and also drank in college. He joined a fraternity and soon after stopped going to call and flunked out. His father told him he was not welcome at home, so Jim joined the Merchant Marines after that. He said that although drinking was prohibited on the boats, that was far from the reality. After a winter in the Merchant Marines he was drafted into the Vietnam War, however his college agreed to re-admit him. Once back in college he was right back where he started. He did meet his "beautiful bride" while in school and she got him going back to class and he did graduate. His chosen career was something that he felt was more important that his drinking. So, he didn't drink before work, but after work, all bets were off. Once he began to approach retirement, he had more time on his hands and the habits of college drinking returned. [15:14] Do you remember your emotional state when your father told you that you weren't allowed back home? Jim said at the time he was very resentful and thought his father was not loving and caring. He felt his father was putting his own reputation and career over Jim's circumstances. Looking back on it, Jim can say he knows that his father made a great decision. [22:15] Did you notice your relationships changing/eroding? Jim said his own ability to be a pleasant person when he was drinking was almost non-existent. He had a lot of irritability over very little things. [25:38] Do you still have cravings? Jim said he still has cravings. He uses HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) when a craving strikes. He then reflects on the thought and feeling and reminds himself this will happen and to "not let it shake your tree" because this will pass. [27:29] How did you find Recovery Elevator/ resources for this journey? Jim said was listening to NPR shows and thought that there must be something recovery specific out there. He found Recovery Elevator from a google search and made it a part of his every day. [28:50] Did you notice you had to change certain aspects of your entire routine? Jim said that he wakes up every morning and looks at a stack of notecards he has created. He reminds himself every day his reasons why he's stopped drinking. He focuses on reading and reddit subs and meditation. [33:46] Do you find nighttime to be a more challenging time of the day? Jim said he doesn't struggle at night. He also had notecards on his bedside table. He tries to end every day thinking about what he's grateful for and on a positive note. [34:44] Have you notice changes in your sleep patterns? Jim said yes. His dreams are clear and amazing. He sleeps more soundly. [37:23] What have you learned about yourself that has really surprised you? Jim said he used to have a lot of self-doubt if he could do this. He's learned we can all do this. [39:00] What are you excited about right now? Jim said he feels like a new person in life and so the possibilities are opening up. He's no longer shackled by alcohol. His schedule is open. [40:54] Rapid Fire Round What is your favorite NA beverage? Flavored water. What is a drinking myth you've seen debunked? If you're old there's no sense in trying to stop drinking. (not true!) What would you say to Day 1 Jim? Jim as you walk through day 1, walk through that door, it's going to be awesome. You will not regret one second of this. What are some words of wisdom you can share with listeners? I could have done this sooner, just let it go. There's a family out there ready to help you. You can do this. You may have to say adios to alcohol... Adios, good riddance and see you later alligator! Odette's challenge this week: Write do

John took his last drink on August 31, 2019. With about 10 months (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol-free (AF). Today Odette opens quoting from Pema Chödrön's "When Things Fall Apart". "Impermanence is the goodness of reality. Just as the four seasons are in continual flux, winter changing from spring to summer to autumn; just as day becomes night, light becoming dark becoming light again-- in the same way, everything is constantly evolving." Everything that ends is also the beginning of something else. What happens when we see this chaos as harmony and change right now is the new normal. It takes time to get comfortable with change and this stage of life is a season. Let's sit with it and see where we can go. [6:53] Odette introduces John. John is 38 years old and originally from Fayetteville, North Carolina. John is also married to Odette and they have 2 children together. They live in San Diego, CA. For fun John likes to surf, bike, run, or play golf… he just likes being active. [11:19] Can you give listeners a history on your drinking? John said growing up drinking was part of the culture of where he lived. He started drinking in high school on weekends and continued in college. His drinking changed when it became a post-work habit. He said he modeled his drinking after his parents: put your head down, do you work, have a drink after work. From the age of 25 - 38 he was drinking as a reward at the end of a day. However, he noticed that he was using alcohol to numb out other things in his life. [14:00] Was there a moment when you noticed that alcohol was no longer working? John said in his 30s was when he began to question if he had a problem with drinking. As his family grew, he saw a line in the sand. On one side of the line was keeping drinking and on the other side was his marriage and family. Odette and John discuss their marriage and how each of their paths to recovery has followed along both together and separately at different times. They discuss the work they have done on themselves and as a couple. [25:26] From an inside look what are some of the biggest differences? John said a lot of his initial quitting drinking was about trying to prove a point, prove to himself and others that he didn't have a problem with alcohol. Within a month it changed and began to leave alcohol behind for himself. He noticed improvements in almost all aspects of his life. [28:51] Can you tell us about how fatherhood has been different? John said when he was drinking, he would show up to parenthood not ready to parent. He was physically there but not there mentally or emotionally. He is now trying to make amends to his children now by being as present as he can be. Every connecting moment with his children is a cherished moment. [32:13] Tell us about a day in your life right now, what tools are you using? John said he's a little bit of a lone wolf. He relies a lot on Odette as an emotional outlet. He does not struggle with cravings during the day, but at night when he's "done for the day" is when he has to dig a little deeper. He focuses on spending time with his family. John drinking a lot of soda water and kombucha and NA beer. [34:55] What's your favorite NA beer brand? He has an order coming from Athletic Brewing and is looking forward to trying it. Gruvi IPA Two Roots, Straight Dank IPA- it's a very hop-forward IPA. [36:06] How has it been reintroducing yourself into social situations? John said that the first few months were hard. There was a lot of pretending. Once he had the mind shift and was leaving alcohol behind for himself, it was a lot easier. There is a confidence that came with his decision. [39:16] Have you received any pushback? John said that his true friends are supportive. There's the occasional random person who isn't in the know that questions him, but not from a negative place. [41:53] What possibilities in life are you excited about? John said he's just really excited to keep on this path and see where it takes him. He's looking forward to his kids starting school, the next steps in his career, the fun trips they have planned as a family and with his wife. There's a positive future ahead. [43:59] Rapid Fire Round What is a memorable moment you've had so far? Surf trip sober over Christmas 2019. What are some of your favorite resources? Armchair Expert podcast (Dax Shepard) What would you say to Day 1, John? It's going to be a lot easier than you think it is. Trust the decision. Strap in and lean in. Trust your wife. What parting piece of guidance can you give to others? Just do it, hop in. Do it for 3 months and see what happens. You may need to ditch the booze if... You go on a camping trip with your wife and the last thing you remember is having a great time at dinner and then you wake up in a tent alone, with none of your family there. Odette's challenge this week: What are you trying to hold on to right now? What do you think would happen if that changed? Are yo

Andrew took his last drink June 02, 2020. With 9 days (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Finding the better you with Odette. Today's topic: Setting boundaries. According to https://positivepsychology.com/ Healthy boundaries are those set to make sure that you are mentally and emotionally stable. You can also think about it as our boundaries might be ridged, loose or completely non-existent. The lack of boundaries may indicate that we do not have a strong identity or that we are intermeshed with someone else or something else: insert alcohol. Odette lobbies for protecting your energy, which is a version of creating boundaries. Set and honor your boundaries. When you set new boundaries and start living them it might feel uncomfortable, and that's normal. It gets easier and better when you stand up for yourself and share your boundaries with others. Check in with yourself often. [8:25] Odette introduces Andrew. Andrew is 37 years old and lives in Brisbane Australia. When Andrew and Odette first began talking about scheduling this interview, Andrew had more than 35 days AF. He did some field research and is now back with 9 days AF. He drives trucks for a living, is married and has 3 boys under the age of 7. For fun he likes to ride his trail bike. [14:19] Can you give listeners a history on your drinking? Andrew's first drink was at age 13. Instantly he fell in love with alcohol. He liked the person he became when he drank. When he was 15 he worked in construction with older guys and that gave him access to alcohol. As an adult the drinking increased and increased, but he never thought it was a problem until his late 20s. Andrew has known over the past 10 years that he didn't drink normally. He drank more than people and alcohol became an identity. His first son was born when he was 30 and he tried to grow up. Andrew noticed he couldn't stop drinking. Andrew said his relationship changed from having fun as a couple to serious and his wife mentioning that it needs to be different. They couldn't go to the shops without his kids mentioning "oh we need to go to the bottle shop for dad". [21:34] Did you hit a bottom or what made you decide to pursue an AF life? Andrew said all the relationships in his life began to fail. He never blamed the alcohol but blamed the other person. A few years ago having a surgery that required him to stop drinking 2 weeks prior and his wife laughed at that suggestion. He wasn't able to stop and drank up to surgery and that's when he realized it was a problem. [22:40] Did you seek help when you decided to try and stop drinking? Andrew said he simply decided he wasn't going to drink. He did reach out to a doctor who prescribed some pills that didn't have any effect. His drinking continued on and off over the next few years. He often found himself googling if he was an alcoholic or not. This led right into the current COVID pandemic. Andrew decided he wanted to find a better life for himself, his wife and his kids. [24:00] Did you attempt moderating before quitting? Yes, Andrew said he tried to moderate his drinking. Being a truck driver for a living, he always had to have 0.0% alcohol to drive. He tried to promise himself he would only drink on weekends, but instead worked out how many drinks he could have in the afternoons and still have 0.0% alcohol level for work the next morning. [26:06] Can you expand on the 6 week dry camp associated with your work? Andrew explained that it wasn't a company sponsored event. It was the work he was doing at the time and they lived on campus for a period of time. The campus he was on, was dry. He made it the 6 weeks, and on his way home he stopped for alcohol. He picked up exactly where he left off even through he was feeling proud for making it the 6 weeks. [28:06] How had fatherhood changed? Andrew said he's more present now and is noticing how much his wife had been picking up in the area of childcare. He worries about different things now and he cares more about what is right and wrong. [28:06] Tell us about a day in your life right now, what tools are you using? Andrew said he's still learning, this is a new journey for him. The traditional help isn't available right now, everything is only online. He has discovered podcasts and listens as much as he can. He hopes to join an in person AA group. [34:23] Have you received any negative feedback around your decision? Andrew hasn't received one negative comment from the people he's told. Everyone is supportive, from family to friends to work colleagues. [37:46] What possibilities are you excited for? Andrew said in the long term he wants to have better and different relationships with his family. He's looking to purchase a home with the money he's saving from not drinking. [38:54] If you could talk to Day 1 Andrew, what would you tell him? You will encounter slip ups, but don't beat yourself up. It's ok to not be perfect. Every day you don't drink is perfect. Ther

Heidi took her last drink on May 20, 2020. With 19 days (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol-free (AF). Odette opens today welcoming normal drinkers. It has come to her attention that there are some listeners that are tuning in for educational purposes as a loved one has a problem with alcohol. Question for you normal drinkers: would you be interested in a Café RE group focused on you? Email Odette if you're interested. One of the most important books in Odette's life is The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie. It was referred to her when her father first went into rehab. Each day is a new passage to read and often she is overcome with the meaning and finds herself wanting to share the meditation for the day with others. While she's not going to read from this book today, Odette is sharing with you all…. Storytime with Odette! What Do You Do With a Problem? By Kobi Yamada [8:13] Odette introduces Heidi. Heidi is 28 years old and originally from San Diego, but she's lived all over. Right now she's in Orange County, CA with her new husband. She works in career services with a focus on health and behavioral sciences. She's an adjunct teacher and a CrossFit coach and group fitness leader. Heidi loves the outdoors and seeing live music, plays, and time with family and friends. [14:05] Can you give listeners a background on your drinking? Heidi's first time really drinking was around the age of 16 / her junior year of high school. At the same time, she was a good student and took her studying and athletics very seriously. She only drank on weekends. In college she continued to be a good student and athlete while drinking, so she never felt that what she was doing should be questioned. At the end of her college career, she mentioned to a coach that she felt she might have a drinking problem. This coach dismissed her concerns because she "doing fine." [19:20] When you expressed concerns to your coach and he was dismissive, did you doubt him a little? Heidi said internally she knew that her drinking was a problem, but at the same time, he gave her a free pass to keep drinking. [17:16] Walk us through the last year or so of your drinking and what led up to your sober date? Heidi grew up with obsessive-compulsive tendencies, specifically manifesting in self-harm. When alcohol became an option, it quieted the self-harm aspect. Once Heidi moved back to the West Coast and started working full time, she fell into a routine of grabbing some alcohol on the way home from work. A few glasses of wine became a bottle of wine became a few bottles of wine, then turned to liquor. She started a new job and it turned out to be miserable, so drinking in the evenings was what got her through the days. She and her husband were true drinking partners, so they fed off each other as well. Last summer she noticed relationships with family members and her husband began to crumble and then she began to take a serious look at her drinking. One of the changes she made was signing up for the Recovery Elevator Ditch the Booze course. The accountability provided was what she needed. [33:49] Tell us about your experience with the Ditching The Booze course and the extra level of accountability. Heidi craves connection and doesn't find it overwhelming. Some people in her group check-in daily, some every few days, but the common denominator is everyone has the same struggle. So, everyone already understands. At a moment's notice, she can give support and get support from the community. [38:17] How has your family dynamic changed in these last 20 days? Heidi said that due to the current pandemic there have been fewer social pressures to go out. At home, with her husband, there has been greater levels of connection. She did have a fear that all they had was drinking and that was why they were together. They began to open up and have new and genuine conversations about themselves. She's having more moments of pure enjoyment with her husband. [43:43] What possibilities have you excited right now? Heidi said the increase in liveliness is exciting. She feels like a school kid again and full of hope. Being able to wake up early and coach at her gym without being still drunk or hungover. Being present with her husband and family member. Heidi is also seeing a new resurgence in her artistic side. [42:20] Rapid Fire Round If you could talk to Day 1 Heidi, what would you tell her? You can do things that you don't think are possible right now but stick with it. You can sit with the uncomfortable feelings of a craving. What are some of your favorite resources in sobriety? Café RE, This Naked Mind by Annie Grace, Alcohol is SH!T by Paul Churchill What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? You already know what that life is like, so why not just try. You may need to ditch the booze if... You pride yourself on your Christmas shopping by doing it all in one night with a few bottles of wine and then figure out what you bou

Michael took his last drink on May 13, 2019. With just over a year sober (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol-free (AF). Odette opens today asking the question: Is this working? There are obvious moments where it is easy to recognize that life without alcohol is working. When people say you look refreshed, you wake up not hungover and you start sleeping well. But what about the not so obvious moments? The moments that are hard, the moments you miss drinking? Yes, those are the moment when growth and change and abundance are there and about to bloom. Trust, be patient, and stay the course. [7:23] Odette introduces Michael. Michael lives in Springfield, Missouri, and works in construction. He is married with 2 children. For fun, he works, plays video games and spends as much time as possible with his family. [8:24] Can you give listeners a background on your drinking? Michael said he started drinking around the age of 14. He said it was something he was good at and within a year he was drinking a pint or more of liquor a day. He soon began drinking before school and after. In 2002 he joined the Marine Corps, which was his goal. In the military, he often couldn't drink for stretches of time, so it became binge drinking episodes. But at the end of his 4 years in the Marine Corps, he realized he had a problem with drinking and asked for help. He was enrolled in a daily program through the military to learn about drinking. After getting out of the military he worked construction, but then in 2008 re-enlisted in the Army. The 6 years he was in the Army, the drinking continued at a bottle a day, every day. He considered himself a very high bottom drinker because he was so high functioning within life. [15:19] What was it that led you down the path to try going AF? Michael said that he tried to stop multiple times over the years. He began to realize he wasn't living his life to his best potential. He always tried to be the person setting the example for others, yet his inability to stop drinking was weighing on him. He needed to show that he could stop drinking for good. The idea that he couldn't quit was his bottom. [17:16] Walk us through what went through your mind on your day 1. Michael said he woke up and said to himself "I need to quit, again." He searched for podcasts that day and found Recovery Elevator. Podcasts allowed him to saturate his entire day with recovery. He downloaded the Sober Grid app and started reading that and the resources offered. [21:13] How has your life without alcohol been different than what you originally thought? Michael said he had a lot of fear about what he would do and who he would be not drinking. Once he quit, he was no longer avoiding emotions and in a fog. He was freed to just live his life. Michael has learned it's ok to be sad or angry and that he will make it through. [25:24] How has your family dynamic changed since you have been on this path? Michael said that he's happy and no longer hiding from his family. He's a present and active member of his family and at a higher plateau of being a husband and a father. He's always working on trying to be a better husband and father while at the same time learning to be a husband and a father for the first time since this is the first time through sober eyes. [27:44] Walk us through a day in your life right now. Michael said he wakes up, goes to work, and hangs out with his family. He prides himself on being an open person; he's open about his sobriety, his PTSD, and his anxiety. He tries to lead by example and with being so open, he allows space for others to be open about their own struggles. [30:22] What is your social life like now? Michael said from the beginning he was honest about his not drinking with friends and co-workers. They were respectful and always offered not to drink around him, but he was always ok about around other people drinking. He said that he understood this was his choice and his alone. There were a few times he did walk away in the beginning, but now he's comfortable around alcohol. [31:55] What have you learned in this AF journey? Michael said that he is really motivated and setting goals and accomplishing them. This past year has really reinforced this. He's also rediscovering who he is as a person, not just an alcoholic. One particular goal of Michael's is to run a marathon. [36:25] What possibilities are keeping you hopeful? Michael said rediscovering daily life. He focuses on the little things in life and is finding joy in those things. He's excited about mowing the lawn now! [37:35] Do you still get cravings? Michael said he doesn't get cravings so much as he gets the idea of drinking still. Cravings are for the most part a non-thought. [38:31] If you could talk to Day 1 Michael, what would you tell him? Keep trying. Even if you don't succeed today you can try again tomorrow. [38:59] Rapid Fire Round What is a memorable moment sobriety has given you? Being with my family

Sara took her last drink on December 02, 2018. With 18 months sober (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol-free (AF). Odette opens today talking about re-writing memos. Take a look at the memos you write to yourself every day. Those memos we repeat to ourselves as fact. There are thousands of stories we have written as memos in our lives. Odette encourages us to take out a sharpie and re-write the memo. Change your mind, change your opinion. [6:24] Odette introduces Sara. Sara lives just outside Minneapolis, MN. She is 37 years old, married, and has one daughter. They just adopted a puppy. She works in communications and for fun she likes to go for hikes and walks with friends, hang out with her daughter and eat her husband's food (he's a great cook!). [12:58] Can you give listeners a background on your drinking? Sara said she didn't drink in High School. She went to a party school for college and started to binge drink on weekends. When she first started drinking, she liked the permission that alcohol gave her to be extroverted. Towards the end of her 20s the binge drinking tapered off, but that was when she began daily drinking, first a couple of glasses of wine on the weekend, soon became 7 days a week. While she quit when pregnant with her daughter, she did feel deprived. And once her daughter was born the daily drinking quickly resumed. The anxiety resumed in full force and because Sara didn't feel like she had a problem with a capital P, this was all normal. December 2, 2018, Sara found a book by Annie Grace and went from never considering quitting, to leaving alcohol behind all in the same day. [20:16] How was it early in your journey? Sara said at first she cried once the decision was made. She allowed herself to grieve the loss while at the same time being excited. The first 1-3 days she practiced going into social situations, being right before the holidays she had lots of opportunities to practice. Sara always had a treat for herself to keep the feelings of deprivation at bay. [30:43] How was the dynamic with your husband? Did you burn the ships immediately? Sara said she told her husband right away. She thinks he didn't believe her at first, she wouldn't have believed herself at first either! However, he was supportive of her decision. Sara experienced some guilt when she stopped drinking because she felt like she was taking away something from him that was an activity they enjoyed together. They had to work to find new things to connect over. [35:04] What's in your recovery toolbelt these days? Social connection is the #1 action item in her toolbelt. Sara said that she walks with her friends, she needs face to face meetups. Sobriety podcasts are 2nd. They keep her motivation up. And 3rd is "No treat is off-limits." Sara knows that she has to protect her sobriety at all costs. She also uses meditation to monitor and identify uncomfortable feelings inside. [40:37] If you could talk to Day 1 Sara, what would you say to her? This is going to teach you more about yourself than you ever thought you could learn. It will be worth the challenges. [40:00] Rapid Fire Round What is a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? The awkwardness you feel at the beginning of any social gathering will be gone in 15 minutes whether or not you drink. What is a memorable moment sobriety has given you? Remembering Christmas Eve and making memories with their friends and the kids. What are you excited about right now? The upcoming summer in Minnesota. Casual family time. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Don't cut out alcohol without adding in other things you're excited about. You may need to ditch the booze if... If you download a habit tracking app to make sure you're sticking to your allotted amount of alcohol per day. And when it tells you that you're over, you just delete the app instead of questioning the habit. Odette's challenge this week: Write down 10 negative memos that come to mind. Don't think about them too much, just write them down. Then re-frame and re-write them and keep them close. Read them often and remind yourself of your power. Share on Instagram and tag us @recoveryelevator on Instagram so we can give you a virtual high five! Or email them to [email protected] Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why, and the How. We will be offering this again, starting 8/4/2020 and 11/3/20. It's free for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. You can find more information about our events The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Resources: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevat

Hannah took her last drink on April 16, 2020. With 45 days sober (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol-free (AF). Paul has created a new meditation. It's 20 minutes long and is specifically geared towards cravings. You can get it here for free. Odette opens talking about the upcoming long weekend, which is the 4th of July. She asks "how can we leverage the current state of the world / the current pandemic and our desire to not drink this upcoming holiday weekend?" A celebration that is centered around food and also drinking, what does this mean for our own choices. There is an assumed permission slip that allows you to start drinking at whatever time you want. Given the state of the world and smaller gatherings happening, it might prove to be easier to not drink. Here's a list of how to not drink this weekend Bring your own drinks, make it special! Tell someone you don't want to drink. It's ok to ask for help Let yourself have fun. Have one goal for the day- Don't drink. Leave if you're uncomfortable. [9:00] Odette introduces Hannah. Hannah lives in Las Vegas. She is 30 years old. She has worked in the medical field in the past but will begin teaching soon. For fun recently she's been doing puzzles. She enjoys hiking, being outdoors, and working out. [12:33] How have you been feeling in these early days? Hannah said she previously had some time away from alcohol under her belt, but had started drinking again. So, she was prepared for stopping again. This time it was emotional, but no physical withdrawal symptoms. She feels good and is looking forward to this path. [14:12] What happened that made you decide to drink again? Hannah said in January 2019 she tried to do dry January again, but only made it about 15 days. She restarted February 1st and this lasted for her until almost September. While she was for a time able to moderate her drinking, once quarantine began the drinking became a daily thing and she was feeling pretty awful, mentally, and physically. [16:02] What started you on this path to wanting to live AF? What's your drinking background? Hannah said she took her first drink around 14 or 15. When she was 17, she lost her mother to addiction and alcohol became her outlet to escape. She had a year of partying harder than any teenager should have. Two weeks after she turned 18, she found out she was pregnant and sobered up, promising her child a better life. She did eventually return to alcohol. While she was succeeding on the outside, she was drinking a lot. Around 25 years old she was experiencing high anxiety and was noticing how alcohol wasn't serving her. [20:38] Did you have a rock bottom moment or what pushed you to take action? Hannah said there wasn't a true rock bottom moment, but there were a lot of moments that weren't the smartest: falling, driving drunk, drunk injuries. It was just the understanding that alcohol was what was causing her to feel bad all the time. The shame spiral was real. The end of 2018 was a heavy drinking period for Hannah and she did 15 days of dry January 2019 but drank. And in February 2019 was her first attempt at living AF. [28:07] Does your son notice the difference in you drinking vs not drinking? Hannah said he hasn't ever said anything directly, but she knows he noticed when she was drinking in the past. As he gets older she wants to share more with him about her stopping drinking. [30:26] Walk us through a day in your life now. What's in your recovery toolbox? Hannah said that she tries to wake up and get a workout in before work. Waking up early and doing something for herself helps make her day better. This also helps her identify her emotions for the day. After work she and her boyfriend will cook, listen to audiobooks, keeping herself busy is important. [32:28] Has it been easy having an honest conversation with your boyfriend about your drinking? (Her boyfriend still drinks) Hannah said it's been difficult; she was emotional in the beginning when she first stopped drinking and had to watch him drink a beer or two. He however has been very supportive. He checks in with her and is often the sober person with her. They no longer keep alcohol in the house. [34:59] What's your favorite NA drink? Pamplemousse La Croix. [35:25] What have you learned about yourself in this journey? Hannah said over the years she has developed some coping mechanisms, but there's still more work to be done. She wants to work on being more open and honest with those close to her. Expressing her feelings honestly and talk and not keep it all inside will be helpful. [36:20] What gets you excited in life right now? Hannah said that being there for her son as he gets older. Also, a new career in teaching is exciting. Being fully present. [38:05] Did you get any pushback from friends when you decided to stop drinking? Hannah said when she first went AF in 2019, a few friends gave her pushback about it. But this time around she's trying to be more honest with

Jamieson took his last drink on August 7, 2019. With almost 10 months sober (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol-free (AF). Odette opens the podcast talking about "permission slips" and specifically giving yourself permission to feel certain things. She quotes Brene Brown, "For personal permission slips, you are in charge of your own behavior – so you're giving yourself permission to feel or act a certain way. It is setting an intention for how you want to behave in difficult situations." Here are some permission slips Odette gave herself after her first week as the new voice of the podcast: to be scared, to make mistakes, to ask for help, to feel uncomfortable, to fail, to succeed, to try again, to love myself. Writing these out she gained courage, the courage to run towards what she wants. [5:23] Odette introduces Jamieson. Jamieson is 28 years old and lives in Kansas City, MO. He works in special education and is starting grad school in the fall. He is single. For fun, he enjoys making music, reading, playing video games, hiking, going camping, and traveling. [7:49] Can you give us a background on your drinking? Jamieson said he started drinking when he was around 13 or 14 years old. But at the time it was a shot glass worth of wine at dinner every night. The first time he was drunk was when he was 16 or 17. He never really felt like he ever had a normal relationship with alcohol, but problematic drinking began around the age of 21. In college he was always trying to be cool like everyone else, alcohol was an easy resource to make him feel cool and ease his social anxiety. [10:50] What happened after you noticed your drinking increasing? Jamieson said it became very consistent and an everyday thing. At the age of 22, he went without alcohol for one year. After a year of being a dry drunk, he decided he didn't have a problem and returned to drinking. He continued drinking until his last drink in August 2019. [13:58] After your year sober, and return to drinking, did you know in the back of your mind that eventually, you would stop drinking? Jamieson said in the back of his mind, he always knew something wasn't quite right about his drinking. The quiet voice in the back of his mind slowly crept into the forefront of his thoughts and he couldn't ignore it any longer. [14:51] Was there an event that made you go sober again? Jamieson said it was a combination of things. Between multiple rock bottoms/events and seeing his younger brother struggle with alcohol as well, he realized he needed to cut alcohol out. [20:15] What was your plan on the day of your last drink? Jamieson said to himself "let's just see how long I can go" and at about 2 weeks' time, he was feeling pretty good and went to a Refuge Recovery meeting. That was a turning point for him. [24:50] You mention that Buddhism has really changed your life, can you chat about that? Jamieson said he's been interested in Buddhism for a long time but was never able to fully dedicate himself to it while drinking. Mindfulness and meditation are not friends with alcohol and substance abuse. Meditation has been a key component in his sobriety. [31:47] What else is in your recovery toolbelt? Jamieson said podcasts and focusing also on leading a healthier lifestyle/routines. Being on top of himself for the little things like making his bed and brushing his teeth daily. He's also begun practicing yoga. [34:29] Did you feel like there were new triggers for you when COVID began? Jamieson said it had a big impact on his routine. His school was on Spring Break at the start and they didn't return afterward. He said it was abrupt and unexpected at how quickly it happened. His routine was a large part of his "staying sane" in sobriety. The lack of routine pushed him to seek out more meetings. [37:04] What are your thoughts on self-awareness growing? Jamieson said he has noticed he's much more self-aware since he stopped drinking. He has learned more about addiction and specifically alcohol addiction and his compassion has grown towards others. He finds himself being less judgmental. [39:32] What's a narrative in your life that you would like to re-write? Jamieson said he felt for a long time his issues with substance abuse, anxiety, and depression were his fault. He was messing up his own life because he wasn't a good person. Jamieson has worked on forgiving himself over the past 9 months. Through Refuge Recovery and Buddhism he has learned that it's not your fault you are this way, but it is your responsibility to deal with it. [44:32] You're so young, how has stopping drinking changed your social dynamic? Jamieson said his social life was getting worse with his drinking. All of his friends have been supportive. He finds he's able to appreciate spending time with his friends and his family now. [48:15] Rapid Fire Round If you could talk to Day 1 Jamieson, what would you say to him? Be patient with yourself and know you are stronger than these p

Kris took his last drink on August 9, 2017. At just over 1000 days (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol-free (AF). Odette opens the podcast talking about beginner emotions, also called day one emotions. "You can be brave and afraid at the same time." Feeling scared and uncertain is natural and part of the process. Embrace those feelings and you can go far. [5:26] Odette introduces Kris. Kris is 38 years old, married with 2 children and a dog. They live in central North Dakota and he is a power plant operator. For fun he loves photography, videography, staying warm in the winter, and camping in the summer. ND summers are the best. [8:28] What's your favorite ice cream flavor? As kids, Kris and his brother would always go for vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup, roasted salted peanuts, and Smarties as a topping. [10:00] Can you give us a background on your drinking? Kris said he started drinking in high school, he was shy and quiet in High School and this brought him out of his shell. He felt like he could be himself. He joined the Air Force out of high school and alcohol continued to help him forge bonds with others. While he was stationed in Korea, he says he began using alcohol for more than just fun and instead used it to cope with depression. They lived by "work hard, party hard" while stationed there. He felt lost when he came home and struggled with his identity. He says the last few years of his relationship with alcohol was really a disaster. He didn't want to stop, he was hiding his drinking and his relationship with his wife was falling apart. [22:48] What happened after your wife told you that you had to stop drinking? Kris and his wife separated after that and he experienced an "Oh sh*t" moment. At the same time, he began having a willingness in his life to make and action change. He signed up for a treatment program. [25:34] How did you feel after you realized that you had to do this? When did the decision to get sober become yours? Kris said it was during treatment. Working with counselors he learned that he needed to take responsibility for everything. He also met with a pastor who encouraged him to start praying every day. He began asking God to help guide him. He learned the burden of his past doesn't have to hold him back from his future. [30:50] Do you still have cravings? How different is from the beginning and how is it still similar? Kris said for the most part he only has moments where he romanticizes drinking. He reminds himself that it's never one drink. Exploring the truth of what it is, sets him straight. He notices that it's more about behaviors than actual cravings. Being short with his kids or tense with his wife. Because he now actively works on these things, he's able to more quickly correct the action. Both Kris and his wife, in their relationship, work on these things. They are both more tolerant of each other. [40:34] Walk us through a day in the life right now. What does working your recovery in this type of crisis look like? Kris is considered an essential worker, so he's still going to the office every day and his wife is a teacher, so she is homeschooling their children. Kris says his recovery is very similar, he just isn't getting to as many face to face meetings as usual. He's recently begun working with a sponsor again, so they are connecting a lot. He's staying connected with Café RE, his sponsor, posting videos, showing support to others through the Facebook pages and Marco polo'ing. [43:23] How do you keep this journey fun? Kris chooses the tone for his life. He celebrates the milestones with his family, he stays connected with his friends in the sober community, he goes to events, and this past fall he hosted his own independent Café RE meetup. He surrounds himself with the people he loves and can be himself and let loose now that alcohol isn't a part of the equation. [46:36] Rapid Fire Round If you could talk to Day 1 Kris, what would you say to him? Take it easy and you are loved. What is a memorable moment sobriety has given you? Being in the water swimming with my family and seeing their smiles. What are some of your favorite resources? Recovery Elevator podcast, Café RE, That Sober Guy (Shane Ramer), Transitions Daily, Saddleback Church, Elevation Church and a good sponsor. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Be honest with yourself about where you are at. We can do hard things, but we don't have to do them alone. Try to find a community, you are not alone. You might be an alcoholic if... If you've urinated in more corners of your house than you care to actually mention. Upcoming events, retreats and courses: Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why and the How. We will be offering this again, starting 8/4/2020 and 11/3/20. It's free for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. You can find more information about our events The book, Alcohol is S

Paul opens today's episode talking about the short term & long term plans for Recovery Elevator: Paul is taking a break from the podcast and he will be focusing on the Recovery Elevator YouTube channel and creating meditations. 1-3 year plans: Recovery Elevator Retreat Center Long term goals: adding more Café RE groups Let's all start putting thinking bigger and putting Big Energy out into the universe for Recovery Elevator. [12:09] Paul welcomes Odette, the new voice of Recovery Elevator. Odette's last drink was 12/17/18. She is from San Diego, originally from Mexico and is married with two kids. They love the outdoors as a family. Odette enjoys learning about tea, puzzling and cooking. She often runs and uses her indoor bike for exercise. [16:08] Paul: What have you been up to since Episode 231? Odette is grateful for her recovery during this time of Covid-19. During her first year sober it's all about relearning habits, restructuring life and setting new routines. Her year two has been about uncovering a lot of deeper seeded emotions and being more honest with herself. [19:15] Paul: Can you cover what brought you to wanting to live an alcohol free life? Drinking felt like a déjà vu of Odette's previous addiction. (She is also in recovery from an eating disorder.) She had already walked this path and could her inner voice telling her that if she kept drinking the way she was, it would end badly. Her rock bottom was an emotional rock bottom. Odette has always felt like she wanted to be normal and because drinking is normalized in our culture she didn't initially want to step away. Choosing to do the thing that is not considered normal would again put her in a spotlight. However, she knew internally this was the path she needed to take. For more on her story go listen to episode 128 & 231. [23:00] They talk about Odette's path with the podcast. Odette likes relating to people. She will share when she hears her own story in others. She enjoys sharing books she's reading and things she is listening to. Sharing a-ha moments. [24:09] Paul: What are some topics you will cover moving forward? Practical tips and recovery tools. Focusing on her recovery toolbelt and listening to what's working for other people. Spiritual concepts and how those can be brought into our lives. Fun facts, history and what she can learn from others. Hearing from others and having the audience suggest topics. [25:23] Paul: Same format? For now, Odette plans to stay within the same format of an introduction and then having an interviewee. She loves talking and sharing and is really excited to take this forward, she is nervous at the same time. This is about a movement of living alcohol free and she wants to honor the path Paul has established. [28:00] Paul: Talk about evoking Rule 22 on this journey. Odette's father was silly when raising his own family. She grew up with flawed parents, yet they showed her there was always a path of fun to be found. The life she's living isn't a dress rehearsal, it's the only you she has and it's too short to not have fun. [30:06] Paul: Spanish or English? English. But there may be an opportunity in the future for episodes in Spanish. If you want to share your story you can email [email protected] [32:32] Odette turns the tables and interviews Paul. Can you talk about your decision to step down? Paul acknowledges that he needed to take a break. He thought he needed to start over again, instead of asking for help and delegating a lot of what he's been doing. The community that he has created came to him with suggestions on how Recovery Elevator can keep moving forward. With some restructuring there is now a path. [37:20] Odette: Overall how do you feel? Paul says he feels incredible. That past year and a half has been the most spiritual he has ever experienced. And even more, the past 3 months he found his body cleansing itself of anything that didn't need to be there. [39:13] Odette: Tell us about some of the most fun experiences in your travels this past year. Watching a woman connect with an elephant in Thailand. The elephant laid down on its side and the woman laid on top. Watching the elephant breathing and the two of them connecting was powerful. While in Australia someone from an AA meeting asked if he wanted to go feed the seagulls. Paul put aside his serious side and went to feed seagulls for an hour and a half. [41:51] Odette: What's flowing through your creative side right now? Music has been creeping back into Paul's life over the past 5 years. He's been making meditation music. Also 3D meditations where you are walked through your future self, in the present moment. Focusing on the Recovery YouTube channel as well. [46:20] Odette: Will we hear from you during your break? Yes, Paul would love to pop in from time to time. [52:30] Paul: Where do you think we can take this? Odette says we can start small: have a podcast in Spanish for example. As large as: Traveling across the globe for

Brian took his last drink September 18, 2019. At 213 days (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). End of Season 1 After 276 consecutive Mondays & 5 years, Paul is stepping down from the podcast and is handing Recovery Elevator over to a new and talented voice. He recaps his next steps and an overview of what the last 5 years has brought him. With 2076 days at the time of recording, Paul is filled with gratitude for all you listeners. Because of you, he is filled with enough. We are all in this together. Don't forget, you can rate and review the podcast and tell Paul the change this podcast has affected in your own life. [13:36] Paul introduces Brian. Brian is 45 years old, married and lives in Easley, SC. He is married with two children. He was in the Army for 17 years before moving to the South. For fun Brian likes to golf, ski, snowboard, BBQ his own meats. He also does podcasting and some PA events. [17:20] Give listeners some background on your drinking. Brian didn't drink until he had almost graduated High School. He drank and got drunk the very first time. He said that was a theme throughout his drinking. He drank to get drunk each time. He went through military training and service and returned home to finish college in Baltimore. He was asked to leave after 2 years due to a 0.0 GPA the previous semester. [21:16] When did your drinking progress? Brian said there were waves of drinking. It picked up in his 20s after leaving college. Bartending made it easy to drink a lot. In 1999 he had to call out of his job a few times due to hangover. At that time, he saw there was a problem with his drinking and got sober for about 8 months from alcohol. In 2004, he tried to quit alcohol again for about 7 months. In 2007 he got into some legal trouble but during that his now wife became pregnant with their first child. He says his daughter saved his life. Thorough out this time, Brian says he would often be spoken at work about his behavior during events that involved alcohol. And in 2020 at an executive weekend event, he spent the entire weekend drunk. He said he was spoken to a few times throughout the weekend and that next week was his last drink with his cousin. [30:55] Let talk about your last drink. Brian said it was in his mind that something needed to change. He ordered a craft beer, and it didn't taste good. He ordered a second, it didn't taste good. At that moment he knew something was going to change. [35:15] What was September 19, 2020 like? Brian was familiar with the sober fellowship in his area and he began attending meetings immediately. However, this time, he felt very good about his decision to stop drinking. There was a sense of relief and peace that his suffering was over. 20 years of ups and downs and trying to get sober, culminated in this last drink in September 2019. [40:43] In the first 60 / 90 days how did you get past some cravings? Brian said that while he didn't have cravings exactly, he had thoughts about drinking. Many of them situational. He's forcing himself to remember the bad and not romanticize the good. Playing the tape forward helps to remind him of the bad. Seeing how that one romantic moment turns into a day of regret the next day. This time getting sober, Brian knew he needed to do something different and approached it in that manner. He put more effort into his getting sober. [46:26] Do you recognize the profound leaps and bounds you have made over these past 7 months? Brian said he has put the work into himself to try and find out who he is. Removing the masks worn and breaking down the facades of who he thought he was to find out who he truly is in this life. He tries to meditate every single day for 30 – 60 minutes a day and has been reading a lot more, both of which center him. All of this to try and put aside the ego. [48:34] Comment on some other experiences where you have said "that's no longer me / who I am" Brian has seen a change in his personal relationships. In the past he was short to show his temper and is choosing to not be that person any longer. He now finds his stoicism a strength, while when he was drinking it was a weakness. While still drinking he bottled up his feelings which would then tumble out while drunk in an overexaggerated manner. And now while sober, he's allowing himself to feel the feelings and understand more what they are telling him. Brian lets himself be sensitive and he can respond rather than react. [52:50] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? I never knew who I was until these last 7 months. What is a memorable moment a life without alcohol has given you? Rekindling my relationship with my kids. What's your favorite AF drink? Seltzer water. Cranberry lime specifically. And Kombucha. What's on your bucket list in this AF life? Pilots license. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Keep going. Even if you slip up, don't beat yourself up. Every moment

Belle took her last drink June 30, 2012. With almost 8 years of sobriety (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF). On today's episode Paul opens discussing what alcohol promises and does not deliver. Many people are trying to fill a void by using alcohol, but it will never be enough. The journey you take and the reward you earn on this life being AF is the eternal knowing that you are enough and are fulfilled. [7:58] Paul introduces Belle. Belle is 53 years old, married and lives in Paris, France. She is a caterer. [11:06] Because of the formal nature of the culture in Paris, is the recovery culture more secluded? Belle says that because she interacts mostly with English speakers (UK, American, Australia, Canada) her insight into the recovery world in France isn't that well-informed. But she does state that there isn't the overindulgent alcohol community that you find other places and in nearby countries. "It's not socially acceptable to be hammered outside your home." [16:58] Why is French onion soup so good in Paris? It's situational, exhaustion, dehydration and fantasy of France. [18:40] Give us a background on your drinking Belle felt alcohol talking to her around the age of 21. She thought everyone had that voice. For the next 15 years she felt she was keeping drinking in check by only buying what she would drink that day and not have other alcohol in the house. At 36 she was having 3 glasses of wine a night and found it hard to go a night without. Belle began putting into place unconscious moderating techniques to keep in control. She got married in 2005 and having that partner there opened the door to more drinking but with someone else there, so it appeared less harmful. In March 2012, she tried quitting drinking for 1 month, just to prove that she could. She got 7 days. [25:59] Can you expand on the feeling you had when you realized it was actually really hard to quit drinking? Belle says it was embarrassing because there was no one to tell or talk about it with. She didn't associate herself with alcoholics because of her high bottom drinking. She just thought she lacked self-discipline. Belle tried again with Dry July in 2012 and on day 9 knew again, this was going to be harder than anticipated. So, she started a WordPress blog to talk about the struggle. People began commenting on her blog posts and she in that moment she wasn't alone. From that blog grew her 100-day Sober Challenge, her penpal support system and a business venture. [39:28] What are some of the lessons you have learned from doing this project? Belle says everything she's learned are from her penpals. They taught her that while her story may be unique to her, the core experience of quitting drinking is the same for everyone. [48:37] Talk to us about the anonymity [of your project] and how you are anonymous. Belle said that without anonymity she wouldn't have been able to share the truth. People responded to her approach because it allowed them to also share the truth while being anonymous. Belle believes that you get sober and then you go on with the rest of your life and there exists the life you build on top of being sober. She believes that you don't have to tell everyone or anyone else about your sobriety. [52:25] Let's talk about your book. Belle's book is titled Tired of Thinking About Drinking: Take My 100-Day Sober Challenge. Her subscribers wanted her to write a book, so she did. [52:29] Do you think there will ever be a day you will shed the anonymity? If Oprah calls and asks Belle to share her experience working with 3000 people, yes. She would probably do that. Otherwise, no. [56:03] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? That I'm not alone. And most people have identical experiences. What's your favorite AF drink? Just tonic or tonic and grapefruit juice. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Her subscribers. What's on your bucket list in this AF life? Own a bakery. What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners? It's in the act of reaching out that things change. You might need to ditch the booze if... If you can't quit drinking for 100 days, then you have a problem. The answer is in the question. Belle's website and all the information shared: www.tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com Upcoming events, retreats and courses: We are into week one of Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why and the How. And will be offering this a few more times coming up. It's free for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee. You can find more information about our events The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! This episode sponsored by: Tiger Tail, use this link and enter the promo code: ELEVATOR15 for 15% off your order. Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the se

Jeff took his last drink February 8, 2020. With 65 days of sobriety (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). On today's episode Paul opens discussing emotions. How it's ok to feel all of them and how they help us to grow. In order to shift stagnant energy inside all of us, we have to talk about our emotions. It's ok to not be ok. It's ok to vent out your emotions and break off little pieces of frustration. Are you looking to explore deeper your decision to live alcohol free and are already a Café RE member? If so, sign up for the six week course starting May 19th entitled: Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why and the How. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set up fee. Paul shares the details about his free guided meditation. To find those meditations, go here. [12:08] Paul introduces Jeff. Jeff is 29 years old, lives in Tampa, FL. He is a plumber. He doesn't have a family, yet! He likes to hang out with his dog Bo and go fishing, camping and attend sporting events. [13:58] What's your favorite alcohol free drink? Cherry Coke. [15:13] Give us a background on your drinking Jeff started drinking around the age of 15 with anything he could get his hands on. He remembers being 5 years old and having a sip of his father's drink. He is the youngest of 3 and when he would visit his older siblings in college, their friends would slip his drinks, as young as at the age of 11. Drinking was just what you did when you got older, it was part of being an adult. Everyone seemed to enjoy drinking, so he should too. In college he joined a fraternity and it again drinking was just what everyone did, it was part of the culture of college and he went along for the ride. However at the age of 22, Jeff realized that stopping drinking might be the better choice for him. [19:52] What were the circumstances at 22 that made you think to stop drinking? Jeff said it was the physical effects of alcohol on his mind and body. He always felt like he could be doing more in life and alcohol was holding him back. [21:45] Fill in the gaps from age 22 to 29 (7 years) as you were building awareness around your drinking. Jeff began working as a Sam Adams beer rep out of New Orleans/Baton Rouge, LA. At any given time there were 15 cases of beer in his home. Part of the job was sampling beers, so loading up a cooler full of beer every day and sampling with 10 different customers wasn't out of the norm. The idea that something Jeff felt was in his way, but also his paycheck was difficult to reconcile. In 2015 Jeff began trying to moderate his alcohol intake. He didn't keep much alcohol in the house, but he found when he did drink, he couldn't stop. [23:46] Can you talk more about when you say, "Once you start it's hard to stop"? Jeff described his drinking like a firework. Light the fuse, it shoots up, it's great for 8/9 hours and then it blows up. His emotions would often get out of control. The days following his drinking were awful emotionally as well. No energy or mind power to do anything. [25:22] Was there a rock bottom moment? Jeff said the first rock bottom moment was in 2012. After a day of drinking, he completely lost it; throwing away his wallet, trashing the apartment he shared with a roommate, quitting his job via email with 2 hours notice. 65 days ago, after three weeks of not drinking, he had a beer and the next day got sick. He knew it was the alcohol and used those 4 days being sick as a springboard to make the change to fully living a life without alcohol. [27:28] After those initial 4 days, how did you do it? One day at a time. Jeff said he would call old friends, not to talk about drinking, but just to talk. He would exercise, cook and focus on doing all the things he wanted to do that alcohol was holding him back from doing. Also journaling and feeling his emotions again. [30:34] Talk to us about how you are embracing your emotions? Jeff said he is trying to learn what emotion he is actually feeling at a particular time. Is this happiness? Why am I feeling happy? Jeff is giving himself permission to have these feelings. He's focusing on gratefulness. [35:47] Where do you want to go in this AF life? Jeff said he's trying not to look too far ahead in life. That's been a problem for him before. He's focusing on being present and happy. He wants to grow and have a family and grow his business. Jeff said, "If you drink today, you are taking away tomorrow's happiness" and he wants to be happy. [38:08] What has it been like getting sober a little earlier in life? Jeff said that so far, it's been easier than expected. However, he doesn't discount the near decade of knowing he needed to try and live an AF life. There are no distractions right now during stay at home orders. He admits this might be a bigger test once COVID-19 is over. [43:10] What are your thoughts on relapse? Jeff said it does mean you're a failure, it's all about how you handle the relapse. Th

Carrie took her last drink April 7, 2020. With 7 days of sobriety (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol-free (AF). On today's episode Paul discusses the idea that you don't have to quit drinking in order to quit drinking and what that means to different people and himself. When you give yourself permission to be happy in the now, the need to drink goes away. By not delaying happiness in life, an alcohol-free life emerges. If you have more questions about this, please email Paul directly here. Are you looking to explore deeper your decision to live alcohol free and are already a Café RE member? If so, sign up for the six week course starting May 19th entitled: Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why and the How. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee. Paul shares the details about his free guided meditation. To find those meditations, go here. [12:30] Paul introduces Carrie. She is 42 years old, lives in Centralia, MO. She is a single mom of 2 boys. She sells cars for a living. Carries likes to read, spend time at baseballs games, spend time with her kids, to bike and be outdoors. She is looking forward to rediscovering new way to spend her time. [16:29] Give us a background on your drinking Carrie took her first drink at the age of 13 and was in treatment for alcohol twice before she was 18 years old. From the age of 18 to 27, she gathered 9 years of sobriety. After that time, she wanted to reach out and connect with other young people and thought she could pick up and drink without consequence. In 2015 after her son was born, was when she noticed her drinking was becoming unmanageable. She said her drinking got "way worse", to the point of drinking in the mornings. [23:43] Talk to us about the last two years of your drinking. Carrie said she has always tried to moderate her drinking, but it was never possible. In March of 2020 her boss called her into his office and asked if she had a problem with alcohol, which she replied "no." However a week later she walked back into his office and said she does have a problem and she wants help. While she did lose her job, she freed herself of the secret. [27:38] Is something different this time around? Carrie stated that yes, this time feels different. After getting through the withdrawals and praying that she wouldn't die, she realized that this time around was the worst withdrawal she had experienced. She decided this was the last time she would ever go through this. Using those physical symptoms to propel herself forward. [32:54] What are you struggling with most right now? Carries says that seclusion is the hardest. She only interacts with her children and isn't able to spend time with friends and family. She misses her church and the ability to worship with other people in the same room. She finds video meet ups helpful, but just not the same thing. [35:25] What are some concepts/mantras you are putting in place to help you continue past these 7 days? Carrie says that she keeps telling herself she is stronger than alcohol and she wants to be free from alcohol. Repeating that to herself over and over. [41:07] What's on your bucket list for this AF life? She is looking forward to interacting with her children again. She is also looking forward to traveling again. [43:17] Do you think you'll be sober in 30 days? Carrie: "Yes I do." [46:28] What advice would you give to your younger self? Carrie doesn't think that her younger self would have listened to any advice. Carrie of today would simply say "It's going to be a rough road, but it will be ok in the end." [48:01] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? When she lost her job due to alcohol, that she needs to quit drinking. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you? Easter with her kids. She was able to hide eggs and baskets again. What's your favorite alcohol-free drink? Water. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Recovery Elevator podcast, AA meetings, reading about addiction. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? You are stronger than alcohol and if you surrender to the addiction to alcohol, you can get past this. You might need to ditch the booze if... Your 18 year old comes into the closet you are hiding in and takes the bottle of vodka and dumps is down the drain. Paul shares a poem written by a listener: "12 Steps to Addiction" A long time ago, I met a friend. Oh, it was a god send. Together, Streams of blood turn into a rushing river, Shaking loose an ancient rigidity. Like a hot fired fever. Cracking a cast of insecurity. Oh paint my vision in saturated tones, Warm my blood, loosen my bones. Tell me stories that aren't true, The biggest lie you told, Is that the only truth is you. I'm tightly steered by your white knuckled grip. "I will make it better" it whispers in sips. I buy another round of your intention. To cure a mental infection, Septic fear

Ruth took her last drink March 21, 2020. With 13 days of sobriety (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF) during a worldwide pandemic. On today's episode Paul discusses the sale of alcohol / liquor stores remaining open worldwide during COVID-19 and its effects. ODAAT: it's not just for those who are living an AF life anymore. The quarantine is an invitation to examine our lives and find new pathways to joy. Paul shares the details about his free guided meditation. To find those meditations, go here. [13:25] Paul introduces Ruth. They start by discussing the email Ruth had sent to Paul directly to ask him what his own thoughts were about living alcohol free during COVID-19. [15:56] What were you feeling when you sent me this email? Ruth became aware that the pandemic was going to be a test for a lot of people. She wanted to let people know that this isn't a time of hopelessness . For her, this is a time to be grateful because of choosing to stop drinking. She is 40 years old, grew up in Denver, CO but now lives in Switzerland. She is a single mom. While currently out of work, she normally is a manager at a small restaurant. For fun Ruth likes to be outside hiking or running. She enjoys a good movie and reading. [24:53] Give us a background on your drinking. Ruth began drinking as a teenager. She first got drunk at the age of 14 with some classmates. She drank for fun as a teen, had a boyfriend that was of age and could purchase alcohol. Ruth got pregnant with her first child at the age of 20 and that stopped alcohol in its tracks. She drank very moderately through her 20s. In her early 30s Ruth noticed that drinking seemed to calm her anxiety, stressors and worries. The association of alcohol and the calming of anxiety stuck with her. In 2014 she moved to Switzerland and began a new romantic relationship that was "very boozy." Her drinking ramped up quickly, drinking daily and often early in the day. [30:43] Was there a time during the escalation of your drinking that you questioned this path? Ruth remembered even during the moderate drinking in her 20s, if she couldn't have a beer or the stores were closed, it created a grumpy feeling. And at the same time, she felt that wasn't the proper emotion to be experiencing. [33:25] Can you think of a definitive moment when you said "I need to quit drinking?" Ruth indicated that there were several attempts, but the catalyst was the breakup from her most recent relationship. She said to herself "if you can survive this breakup, you can stop drinking." Ruth learned about how a breakup and alcohol withdrawal create similar feelings/reactions within the brain. [40:30] Thirteen days ago was your day 1 and in the email you sent me you said it was the hardest day 1. Talk to us about this particular day 1. Ruth said that because she had had 42 days of sobriety before the pandemic started and then drank at the beginning of the pandemic to quiet the noise of everything happening in the world, everything that comes along with drinking was magnified. Thinking about having to break the cycle of drinking again, and in the extra stressful time of COVID was overwhelming. However, she found herself back in a place of joy within 3-4 days, once the chemicals left her body. [45:30] What is something you've learned about yourself along the way? Ruth said that she had a lot of unrealized strength and through that found herself again. [48:00] How are you filling your time currently? Ruth said reading, listening to podcasts, cooking from scratch, running, walking, yoga, watching Tiger King and taking it easy on herself. [49:21] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? Realizing her relationship was toxic as well as alcohol is toxic and how they were parallel. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you? Spending time with a family member recently and being 100% present. What's your favorite alcohol-free drink? Sparkling water and coffee. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Recovery Elevator podcast, This Naked Mind, the stopdrinking subreddit What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol? Go to the Greenfield Festival in with her son sober and sober camping trips. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Don't give up. Never quit trying to give up alcohol, no matter how many day 1s you have. Find and use all resources. It will eventually take if you keep trying. You might need to ditch the booze if... You go out for a couple drinks and wake up with confetti in the bed and you have no idea where it came from or how it got there. You can read more about what the World Health Organization (WHO) says about using alcohol as a coping technique during this time of lockdown here. Upcoming Events and Retreats: You can find more information about our events here. The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Re

Kirby took her last drink March 25, 2018. This is her story. On today's episode Paul shares more stories from listeners, and Café RE members, sharing their experiences during the Covid-19 pandemic. We'd love to hear how you are doing through this as well. Email your story to [email protected]. Paul shares the details about his free guided meditation. To find those meditations, go here. [16:41] Paul introduces Kirby. Kirby is 30 years old and lives in Charleston, SC. She is single and lives with 2 other family members and her 3 cats. For fun Kirby likes to try new things, even things she thinks she won't be interested in. Spending time outside brings her joy. Her favorite alcohol free concert was Ryan Caraveo. [19:40] Give us a background on your drinking. Kirby thinks her first drink was around the age, of 13. She doesn't exactly remember, but has been able to piece it together through asking friends. Her first black out happened at the age of 16, which she considers the starting point of drinking. At 19 she began working at a sports bar which allowed her to keep drinking, even under age. When she turned 21, she posted to Facebook that she wanted to hit "burned out liquor head status" and drank for the next 30 days straight. [21:38] What happened after those 30 days? Did you have withdrawal symptoms or return to normal drinking or did signs of addiction show at this time? Kirby said she doesn't really remember because drinking at that level, the memories are really fuzzy. But she believes she went back to normal drinking for her, which was only on Thursdays, Fridays, Saturday and sometimes Sundays. Kirby and her friends said that shots "don't count." So while she was drinking 5-6 beers, she was also having 5-6 shots. At the age of 26 was when the drinking took a turn. Kirby got out of a relationship and started to burn the candle at both ends. Drinking 8 -10 beers a night, matching that with shots. Here is when she figured out that if she didn't do shots, she wouldn't black out, meaning she wasn't drunk. [24:04] Was blacking out just to go away and not feel / be empty for a while? Kirby said definitely, and that also part of the fun was piecing back together the night before. Sitting with friends and putting the night back together based on who remembers what. At this time she also began to put rules into place for her drinking because she knew that once she started she wasn't going to stop drinking. [27:20] When was the first time you said Uh-oh about your drinking? Kirby said that the first time she felt something was wrong with her drinking was when she woke up in October 2017 with 13 broken bones in her wrist and had to have surgery. To this day she has no recollection of how this happened. [33:22] What happened on March 25, 2018? Kirby says the process started 4 days before that. She began searching for recovery options. The next day while she was drinking, "Sober Kirby" showed up in the middle of a blackout and declared to her family that she needed to stop drinking and start going to AA meetings. The next day her family told her the story back to her. [40:55] What were the responses when you started burning the ships? Kirby said that a lot of people believed it was a phase, but she kept the forward momentum to hold onto sobriety. [46:34] Talk to us about the difficult time you had at the Recovery Elevator Live event in Nashville. Kirby said she made the goal to travel every month the year of 2019. Not having anything planned for February, she joined Café RE and pulled the trigger and bought the Nashville ticket. She considered turning around even on her drive to TN. At the event, she has an awakening that hurt people, hurt people and this gave her a moment of clarity: everyone has pain. Kirby opened up and found compassion in other people. [54:56] What is an excuse you used to tell yourself as to why you couldn't quit drinking? Kirby said because she wouldn't be fun anymore, she wouldn't have friends anymore. [55:20] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? Realizing I didn't have to drink anymore vs I couldn't drink anymore. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you? Watching the sunrise over the mountains on her 30th birthday What's your favorite alcohol-free drink? Black coffee or blackberry Bubly or Firebrew. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Café RE Facebook group, Recovery Elevator podcast, Recovery Happy Hour Podcast, speaking/connecting with other sober people. What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol? Traveling to all 50 states, she has 8 left! What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Why not start today? You might need to ditch the booze if... If you get a new chat system at work and you can add your own emojis and you add a carbomb and a bud light lime logo as your first emojis. Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020

Tom took his last drink February 16, 2019. This is his story. On today's episode Paul shares stories from listeners, and Café RE members, sharing their experiences during this Covid-19 pandemic. We'd love to hear how you are doing through this as well. Email your story to [email protected]. Paul also reminds us to cut ourselves a break, practice self-love and compassion. He asks that you love yourself, regardless of where you are on this journey. For some free guided meditations, go here. [18:55] Paul introduces Tom. Tom is 64 years old and lives along the shore of Lake Erie, near Cleveland, OH. He is married and has 2 adult children, a son and a daughter. For work Tom is a graphic artist, and for fun Tom loves to cook, which led him to vegetable gardening, which is also a loved pastime of his. Tom is also a big history buff. [26:55] Give us a background on your drinking. Tom started drinking in high school and found it helped him overcome his shyness. He continued to drink regularly for about 18 years. He didn't drink every day, was more of a binge drinker. Drinking made outgoing and he liked it. In 1991 Tom got a DUI while driving home from a wedding. Up until that point Tom had never thought about quitting drinking. After getting the DUI he just stopped. He stopped for about 14 years. [28:25] What happened after 14 years? Tom said after 14 years he just started easing back into it, drinking occasionally. That continued from about 2005 to 2017. In 2017 Tom realized that his drinking was causing more anxiety than it was solving, and he became sober-curious. [34:00] Was there a time during those 5 months of day 1s that you just wanted to give up? Tom said it was more a frustration because it was ridiculously consistent and he couldn't seem to break the habit. In February of 2019 Tom got the flu and missed a couple days of work, during which he drank, while trying to hide it. Tom's wife called him out on it and on February 17, 2019, Tom joined Café RE and hasn't had a drink since. [39:00] What was it like when you reached out for additional accountability? Tom said he thought, why should he do this alone, so after listening to the Recovery Elevator podcast he joined Café RE. He started getting posting videos and connecting with other members. The connections led to in-person meetups which are one of the biggest parts of Tom's sobriety and life. [47:47] What can you say to people out there that are struggling and can't make it past day 1? Tom says that when you are getting started you have to change everything that you are doing. He also suggests going for a walk until the cravings go away. [55:22] What excuse did you used to tell yourself as to why you couldn't quit drinking? Tom said it was more of the excuse, why should he, rather than why he couldn't. [56:20] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? That drinking wasn't a solution for anxiety, it was more of a cause for anxiety. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you? Meetups, absolutely meetups. What's your favorite alcohol-free drink? Virgin Canadian Whiskey and Diet Coke. What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol? Meeting more people from Café RE. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Really connect, connect, connect on a personal level. You might need to ditch the booze if... You order a cello while drinking and you don't play a musical instrument. Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 You can find more information about our event here. The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you have to take the stairs back up. You can do this."

Derek took his last drink August 22, 2019. This is his story. On today's episode Paul talks about what a Nolo drink is, non-alcoholic beers, and kombucha…and whether, or not, we should stay away from them if they have trace amounts of alcohol. He also talks about the roll, if any, that cannabis and plant medicine play in recovery. Paul also explains about some of the changes taking place with Café RE. Sone of the changes is, starting on May 1st, 15% of the membership fees will dedicated towards a partnership with a non-profit organization that is geared towards helping those affected by addiction. The link to the article where Paul gets his information from can be found here. [15:35] Paul introduces Derek. Derek is 35-year-old and is from New York City, currently living in Philadelphia, and is a real estate agent. Derek loves riding his bike and playing ping pong. [18:42] Give us a background on your drinking. Derek started drinking when he was 13 years old, drinking on the streets of New York. Derek realized that he loved the feeling of being out of control. When Derek was 17 years old his father was killed in the World Trade Center and he used alcohol to cover up those feelings. Alcohol helped him get through those brutal moments and became like his best friend. He says he continued to drink like that up until 6 months ago (his sobriety date) and those feelings are all coming back up. [21:00] When did you start to realize that alcohol was not working for you? Derek said it was about 3 years ago. The negative started to outweigh the positive. [23:14] What happened when you realized this? Derek said he started keeping track on a calendar of his drinking days, verses his non-drinking days. He tried to slow down. He started making negotiations with himself, like not drinking during the week, only drinking beer. One very drunk night he realized that he just had to stop, that moderation did not work for him. [27:35] Why do you think willpower flew out the window when you were drinking? Derek said that when he took that first sip he was no longer in control. He said it was like a monster that lived inside of him and every time he let it out, he was no longer in control. [32:33] Talk to us about that moment you stopped drinking, and how you did it. Derek said the first couple days were easy because he had such a bad hangover, but the first weekend was tough because he didn't know what to do, that he had not gone a weekend without drinking in years and years. He said what he started to do was start to do the things he enjoyed again. He started to play the piano and guitar again, started to workout again. [35:30] How did you do it after the first week? Derek says he started watching YouTube videos of people that had gotten sober. He found the Recovery Elevator app…and then the podcast. [37:20] What are some of the emotions you are facing now that you are no longer drinking? Derek said that in a way he had never dealt with losing his dad in the way he had. He recently got married and could not share that with his father. [38:10] What is important to you in life? Derek says his health is one of the most important things to him. He said that also that just who he is, is important to him. Drinking made him a liar and selfish, and that has changed a lot. He now tries to be a better person overall. [38:50] What are some strategies you use now, instead of drinking? Derek says that exercise is big, he wakes up early to exercise. He has started using a steam sauna, ping pong, biking, outdoor activities. Derek also said that talking to other people that have similar stories, that he had just attended his first meeting. [39:40] What roll has your wife played in this? Derek said that his wife stopped drinking with him and that she has been his biggest supporter. [43:30] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? That I am stronger than I thought I was. What's an excuse that you used to tell yourself for why you couldn't quit drinking? My friends, my social circle…what would I do, I wouldn't have anyone. What's your favorite alcohol-free drink? Coffee or seltzer. What are some of your favorite resources? Your podcast, I'm not just trying to blow smoke, it's really helped me a lot. What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol? To stay alcohol free is the number one thing, and I would like to travel again. What are your thoughts on relapse? It's never going to happen to me. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Just do it. You might need to ditch the booze if... You think you might need to ditch the booze. Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 You can find more information about our event here. The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for

Raj took his last drink May 11, 2014. This is his story. On today's episode Paul zooms out and talks about the journey. If you are listening to this podcast you are an active participant in the center of the ring. Your conscious decision to ditch the booze places you in the center of the ring. Who is the critic when you're in the ring grappling with alcohol? You are, but you can rewire those thoughts and become your greatest cheerleader. Watch the video of the little girl not giving up here. [16:05] Paul introduces Raj. Raj is 54 years old and is from Las Angeles. He is divorced and has a 13-year-old son. Raj is an avid cyclist and says it keeps him sober. [22:20] Give us a background on your drinking. Raj says he didn't really drink until college and even then, it was a very slow progression. In 1991 Raj started having adverse consequences to his drinking, such a getting a DUI and not getting hired for a job. In 2010, and the following 3 years, his drinking totally spiraled out of control. [25:50] During this progression were you able to step back and see the writing on the wall? Raj said he definitely did not. He said he lived in denial for over 20 years. [26:46] Get us up to speed to May 2011. Raj said he always performed well in his career; his drinking didn't affect it. But in the summer of 2010 Raj had a serious biking accident and broke his ankle and was prescribed an insane amount of Vicodin. In a period of 4 months he watched his work productivity go to hell, actually getting put on probation at work. Because work was always something that he could keep together, Raj said he lost it at this point. His drinking and drug use took off. That led to another DUI in May of 2011, which led him to the doors of AA. [29:25] Fill in the gaps between your first AA meeting and May 2014? Raj said he started going to AA and got a sponsor, but didn't really do the steps. In 2012 he convinced himself that he didn't have a drinking problem, but was still having blackouts and waking up in the hospital not knowing how he got there. In November of 2012, after a locking himself in his hotel room while at a work retreat, causing a huge scene at the airport, and landing in the hospital again Raj was fired from his job. This led Raj to The Betty Ford treatment facility and Raj says this was his rock bottom moment. Two more rehabs, another DUI, and Raj finally got sober in May of 2014. [34:20] What happened next? Raj said he started taking AA seriously, got a new sponsor that was pretty much an AA hard ass that took Raj through the 12 steps. Raj says he was just ready. He had to become humble, and willing to ask for help. [38:05] What is an excuse that you used to tell yourself for why you couldn't quit drinking? One was he had a wine cellar, he had to drink all the wine. How would he deal with stress and anxiety? [38:55] How do you deal with stress without alcohol? Raj uses biking and exercise, AA meetings, talking to his sponsor, and spending time with his son. [49:50] What do you think was one of the hardest things about quitting drinking? Raj said it was trying to get the message down to his subconscious that he was no longer drinking. [55:50] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? That we can't do this alone. What's a memorable moment a life without alcohol has provided you? My son was in a play at school and I was able to be present and witness it, and was able to tell him what an amazing job. What's your favorite alcohol-free drink? Club soda. What are some of your favorite resources? The Big Book or AA is a terrific resource. Café RE UP, AA meetings when I am on the road especially. What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol? There are a bunch bike challenges that I want to do. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? If you're struggling at staying sober don't give up. You might need to ditch the booze if... If you are driving drunk 300 miles with your 3-year-old child in the car. Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 You can find more information about our event here. The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Resources mentioned in this episode: BetterHelp BetterHelp Visit https://www.recoveryelevator.com/betterhelp and join the over 700,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at https://www.recoveryelevator.com/betterhelp Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you have to take the stairs back up. You can do this."

Lucas took his last drink November 13, 2018. This is his story. On today's episode Paul talks about crisis. In some languages the word 'crisis' is coupled with the word 'opportunity'. Everyone experiences crisis' in life, but we are the fortunate ones that are forced to reach out for help. We are then in this together…think the movie, The Breakfast Club. [11:15] Paul introduces Lucas. Lucas is 32 years old, was born and raised in the DC metro area. He is married, no kids yet. Lucas is a UPS driver. He has a dog that they rescued from a shelter. For fun Lucas likes to work out, go to sporting events, and concerts. [17:00] Give us a background on your drinking. Lucas started drinking when he was 13 years old. By the time he was 15/16 he says he would routinely blackout from drinking. It was at that time he started to realize that it was something he perhaps should look at. Even though he was aware that he may have a problem at this young age his drinking continued to progress through his 20s and college. Lucas said he really started to see the effect that his behavior had on his life in his late 20s, early 30s. [28:44] How powerful was it to bring your wife along with you on your journey? Lucas said that it has been vital to his sobriety, that it was so critical because it (sobriety) has been such a hard, and courageous, thing to do. [33:33] Talk to us about what you meant when you said, "moderation in all in my mind". Lucas says that moderation is not an attainable thing for him, that it is a word that was made up to make him feel better and convince himself that he could continue to have alcohol in his life. Once he realized that moderation wasn't a thing it was freeing. [39:55] Talk to us about quitting Adderall? Lucas said that Adderall was something he started taking in college and not because he really needed it, but because he liked its mood-altering qualities. Once he quit taking it, he realized that it actually was making him less productive and less organized. [44:10] Walk us through a sample day in a life without alcohol. Lucas said he is a creature of habit. He wakes up, lets the dog out, reads meditation passages, goes to the gym, goes to work, goes home, sometimes reads, cooks dinner, visits with his wife when she gets home from work and is in bed by 10/11 PM. [51:00] What is an excuse that you used to tell yourself for why you couldn't quit drinking? Lucas would tell himself that he didn't have a problem. [51:35] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? When I realized how much time I was spending pursuing the feeling that I was never going to obtain again. What's your favorite alcohol-free drink? Lime flavored seltzer water. What are some of your favorite resources? AA, my meditation books, and "In the Rooms", which is online AA meetings. What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol? I need to travel the world. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? To remind yourself how vulnerable, dangerous, and susceptible we all are when we live in unreality. You might need to ditch the booze if... You find yourself asking if you have a drinking problem. Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 You can find more information about our event here. The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you have to take the stairs back up. You can do this."

Renee took her last drink January 2, 2020. This is her story. If you have ever wanted to attend a Recovery Elevator event you should get yourself to Denver in June for the Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - June 11-14th, 2020. This event will be, essentially, the closeout event for Recovery Elevator. You can find more information about our event here. On today's episode Paul talks about Rule 22. What it is. Why it is important to make this rule a part of your life ASAP. Rule 22 = Lighten up. Don't take yourself too seriously. Laughter really is the best medicine. Life is never as serious as the mind wants us to believe. [12:00] Paul introduces Renee. Renee is 40 years old and live in Greendale, WI. She is a hair stylist and is currently working at a children's hair salon. She is married and they have 2 kids, a 10-year-old and a 7-year-old. Renee also has a 20-year-old son from a previous relationship. For fun Renee likes to hike, camp, go on vacations, paddleboard and jigsaw puzzles. [17:25] Give us a background on your drinking. Renee started drinking as a teenager, around the age of 15. She says she did it to fit in and have fun. She met her husband, in a bar, in her early 20s and they pretty much drank together every weekend. It wasn't until 2007 that Renee started drinking more than just on the weekends. After getting married they were drinking 3-4 days out of the week. Renee got pregnant early on and while she couldn't drink due to being pregnant, her husband continued to drink. That made Renee mad because she wanted to drink. Renee did start drinking again, in the hospital, after giving birth to her children. [20:30] Was drinking again, as soon as you had your baby, something that you had pre-planned? Renee said she could not wait to drink after her baby was born. She did the same exact thing during and after her 2nd pregnancy a few years later. [24:18] Why do you think your husband came clean about his drinking? Renee said he told her because he couldn't do it anymore. [24:40] What was your response? Renee was pissed off when he first told her. [28:35] When did you both recognize that alcohol was almost the driving divider? Renee says it was in October of 2019 when her husband told her about his drinking. They started to put all the pieces together and realized that everything bad that had happened between them was caused by alcohol, in some way, or somehow. [30:40] Has there been a moment when one of you was about to drink and you had that conversation where you lean on each other, and you both made it through? Renee said yes, that there had been a couple of those moments. [30:05] Was January 2 a planned date? Renee said yes, it was a planned date. She went to work that day and was cutting hair with shaky hands. [35:40] How did you get through the last 45 days? Renee says that they bought a new treadmill, have been binge watching Netflix, just finding things to keep their minds off of it. But that it was really hard at first. [38:53] How has working with a counselor helped with your anxiety and depression? Renee says it helped a lot. She didn't have any anxiety after the first couple weeks. It just started to get a little better and better until now, when she says she has none. [40:40] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? I realized that alcohol has basically affected everything in my life. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has provided you? Recently we got a lot of snow here and we took the kids sledding. What is some advice you'd give to your younger self? To try and surround myself with people who aren't party people. What are some of your favorite resources? Well definitely your podcast, lots of reading. What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol? We want to do a lot more traveling. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? If you are thinking about drinking, or if you are thinking that you drink too much, you probably do. You might need to ditch the booze if... You do a drunken cartwheel and wake up in the morning to find your whole hand is black and blue because you broke your middle finger. Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 You can find more information about our event here. The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you have to take the stairs back up. You can do this."

Janine took her last drink on October 6, 2019. This is her story. If you have ever wanted to attend a Recovery Elevator event you should get yourself to Denver in June for the Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - June 11-14th, 2020. This event will be, essentially, the closeout event for Recovery Elevator. You can find more information about our event here. On today's episode, Paul talks about your comfort zone, why it's important to have one, why it is so important to get outside of it, and how it is possible to get too far out of it. The true authentic you doesn't exist in your comfort zone. Stepping outside your comfort zone even once, makes it easier that you'll do it again. As for ditching the booze, here are some strategies in regards to the comfort zone. Instead of quitting forever, aim for one day, or 50% of the days in a month. Burning the ships? Go at your own pace. 90 meetings in 90 days too much, aim for 1 a week, then 2 a week. [20:00] Paul introduces Janine. Janine is 32 years old and is from Pensacola, FL. She is married and has a 9-month-old daughter. Janine is a former kindergarten teacher. For fun she likes to go to the beach with her family, walking her dog and spending time with her daughter. [24:00] Give us a background on your drinking. Janine took her first drink when she was 17-years-old and she immediately loved the feeling it gave her. Through college she feels she drank like every other college student. Janine says her drinking didn't take off until she started her teaching career, and that gradually over the years she was drinking more and more. When she met her husband, and knew that it was something serious, she says she knew that she was going to have to do something about her drinking. [26:45] Talk to us about the methods you used to try and control your drinking. Janine said she tried them all. Switched from liquor to wine/beer. Still getting backout drunk after switching to wine she tried drinking a glass of water after every glass of wine. Not drinking during the week, but even when that worked, she was still getting blackout drunk all weekend. [28:15] Was there a time when fear came in and you didn't think you could stop? Janine said yes, that that is exactly what happened. [30:30] Can you tell us a little about postpartum depression? Janine said for her she felt like she lost some of her identity, her whole life now revolved around another human being. She had days when she would look in the mirror and not even recognize herself. Her emotions were all over the place. Janine ended up going to her doctor and getting on antidepressants, but was still drinking. [35:00] Tell us what happened next. After trying to modify, by having no alcohol in the house, Janine said she went and bought 2 bottles of wine and drank them one night after the baby was in bed. She got blackout drunk, sent strange texts, and spent the next day crying and filled with anxiety. She couldn't deny it anymore, she knew she had a problem and couldn't control it. Later that day her dad, a recovering alcoholic himself, called Janine. She says his first words were, "I just felt I needed to call and hear your voice.". Janine said she just lost it and opened up to him for the first time. [40:30] What was that first AA meeting like and what happened after that? Janine said she was terrified to go that first meeting, but that after the meeting people came up and were very friendly. She said she was also comforted by the fact that there were other teachers there. She was still feeling like her life was over that first week. [44:14] Was there a challenging moment when you wanted to drink, and how did you get past it? Janine said she had several in the beginning. She said when those times came up, she would call a friend, or call her sponsor. [45:25] How has the relationship with your husband changed? Janine says her husband fully supports her and has also quit drinking. She feels like their relationship has gotten a lot deeper. [54:30] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? I would say when I made that last attempt to control my drinking by not having alcohol in my house What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has provided you? Spending my daughter's 1st Christmas completely sober. What's your favorite alcohol-free drink? I am a big fan of water. What are some of your favorite resources? I enjoy this podcast; I don't get to attend AA meetings as much as I would like but I also enjoy reading. What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol? I am actually thinking about taking up blogging. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? If you know in your heart that you can't control your drinking anymore, don't listen to the lies that your mind is telling you. You might need to ditch the booze if... You get blackout drunk while watching Dateline. Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June

Aaron took his last drink October 6, 2019. This is his story. If you have ever wanted to attend a Recovery Elevator event you should get yourself to Denver in June for the Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - June 11-14th, 2020. This event will be, essentially, the closeout event for Recovery Elevator. You can find more information about our event here. On today's episode Paul talks about it being possible for things to coexist in your life, you can feel calm and accomplished while you still have things to do. It is important to recognize both parts equally. When you are in the middle of a tough emotion you can chose to ride it out on the surface, which would be the mind, or deep down, which would be the belly area of the body. Do you best to get out of the mind and stay in the belly, preferably with belly breaths. [13:00] Paul introduces Aaron. Aaron is 54 years old and lives in Pittsburgh, PA. He is a chiropractor and loves health, fitness and exercise. Aaron has a 65-acre farm and plays rugby. [17:50] Give us a background on your drinking. Aaron didn't drink until his dad passed away from heart failure when Aaron was a junior in college. His friend left some wine coolers at his house and he decided to give them a try and he liked the way they made him feel. He continued to drink through college and alcohol made him the life of the party. Aaron moved to Florida after graduation, he was 21 years old and had a teaching degree. He was only drinking on the weekends at this time and started playing rugby. He says drinking and rugby go hand in hand. Aaron graduated from chiropractor school and continued to only drink on the weekends. This was his drinking pattern through his 30s and 40s. It was in his late 40s that he realized that he hadn't gone a week without drinking, even if it was only on the weekends. He thought he might have an issue with alcohol but he didn't think it was a big deal. [29:55] Talk to us about how you tried to hide it before you fully got on board on stopping. Aaron says that this went on for years. He was hiding beers in cereal boxes. He was waking up in the middle of the night with pounding headaches. Aaron said his wife started to notice what he was doing and started to call him out. He started getting sick and having headaches after just 2 beers. [33:33] Get us up to speed to before your sobriety date. Aaron says in 2018 he stopped drinking for 6 months, but then at a bar one night said, "I got this.", and had an IPA. That started another year of drinking for Aaron. In October of 2019 he said he has got to stop (drinking) and that time he meant it. [39:22] What has been working for you these last few months? Aaron said he listened to the Recovery Elevator podcast. He told his wife and kids. Aaron has started to tell other people that he just isn't drinking anymore. [42:05] What has been the biggest thing you have learned about yourself along the way? Aaron says he thinks he saw himself as being compulsive and having a problem and then thinking he can break the problem. [47:40] What got you through your brother's death without taking a drink? Aaron said he had no desire to drink at all, he knew that his brother's death was caused by alcohol. He no longer has a mental or physical desire for alcohol. [51:30] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? When I saw my kids drinking and having problems that I had. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has provided you? When we go out to restaurants and I order water with lemon. What's your favorite alcohol-free drink? Seltzer water. What are some of your favorite resources? I only have one, I listen to Recovery Elevator over and over and over. What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol? I just want to have family functions without beer. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Just keep listening. You might need to ditch the booze if... When you are having drinks out at the restaurant and you go to the bathroom and your pee is clear and you say to yourself, yes…it's kicking in, because you know now that the beer is kicking in. Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 You can find more information about our event here. The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – It All Starts from the Inside Out. We can do this."

Tara took her last drink February 4, 2019. This is her story. On today's episode Paul talks about the top 10 reasons for quitting drinking. Number one; your authentic self will begin to emerge. Number two; you don't have a headache due to lack of aspirin in your system. Number three; you'll begin to find out who you aren't. Number four; you're open to signs from the universe. Number five; you can start to see the insanity of the mind. Number six; your brain will start to produce regular amounts of melatonin. Number seven; welcome back oxytocin. Number eight; you're part of something much bigger. Number nine; you stop hoping. Number ten; you have a chance to start working on the one big lesson you've signed up for in this lifetime. [19:15] Paul introduces Tara. Tara is 46 years old and lives in Seattle, WA. She is a preschool teacher, founded her own preschool 25 years ago. She is married to her high school sweetheart and has 2 adult children. For fun Tara loves to dance. [22:30] Give us a background on your drinking. Tara says there were 3 scary moments that caused her to pause and think that alcohol could be a problem. The first was when she was 15 years old and she was at a wedding and the bar was opened up to her. This was a formal wedding and Tara jumped into the pool. She was the only one in the pool. Tara's second scary moment was also in high school. She was at a party drinking hard alcohol and decided to get into the hot tub. Tara says she got so sick that she threw up blood. Tara's third scary moment came when she was in her forties and was on an annual girl's trip to Palm Springs. She drank like she normally did, with no off switch, and she fell and hit her head. All Tara could think about when that happened is that that was how her dad died. [38:25] Talk to us about right before you quit drinking. Tara says she went to a party and started drinking, and instead of calming her anxiety like she felt alcohol usually did, her anxiety amped up. It made her question how much she was going to have to drink to feel that 'warm blanket'. [42:50] Your Dad is listening right now, what do you have to say to him? Tara said she just wants to let her Dad know that she loves him, and she's proud of him. [45:20] How did your relationship with your husband change after you quit drinking? Tara says that her bond with her husband is even stronger and deeper now. [49:00] What has been your biggest challenge this last year? Tara says is the ones that kind or catch you out of nowhere. [50:40] What's an excuse you used to tell yourself of why you couldn't quit drinking? Tara said it was telling herself that she didn't drink every day or that she didn't drink by herself. [51:20] What are your thoughts on relapse? Tara says that on a personal level she doesn't see it happening to herself. [54:40] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? I'm happier without alcohol. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has provided you? A trip to Costa Rica and no drinking whatsoever. What's your favorite alcohol-free drink? I like iced tea or Bubly water with a little mint in it. What are some of your favorite resources? I love to listen to your podcast, and many others. What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol? A lot more travel, and I hope to go to Thailand. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Just stick with it. You might need to ditch the booze if... You put a bikini on at a formal wedding and jump into the pool when nobody else is in the pool. Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 You can find more information about our event here. The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – It All Starts from the Inside Out. We can do this."

Vinny took his last drink 9 ½ years ago. This is his story. On today's episode Paul talks about change. Whether you like it, or not, you are always changing. You're either building new circuits or adding new blockages to your energy field. With an addiction it's either gaining momentum or you're lessening the energetic bonds of the addiction. You must make time to always do the work. [15:45] Paul introduces Vinny. Vinny is 61 years old and lives in Bangkok. For fun Vinny like to read, watch a good TV series, going to meetings and helping people. [19:20] Give us a background on your drinking. Vinny discovered alcohol in his late teens and continued to use it for 10 years. The next 10 years involved alcohol and smoking marijuana. He added crack to the mix and became a crack addict for the following 5 years. He went to 2 treatment centers and didn't get clean until 2004. He hit his bottom while living (homeless) in Las Vegas. He managed to get sober after that and it lasted 3 years. [22:45] What in your message you want to get out? Vinny says that recovery can be simple. Simple means it's not complicated. [27:13] How can thinking get us into more trouble? Vinny says that most of us do not think, or see, very clearly. He says we act based on the false evidence we see in front of us, so obviously if we are not relating to reality, we are always going to make the wrong choices. [30:05] What do you see is the biggest challenge that someone on this journey will face? Vinny says he thinks that people have the illusion that they have to do it all themselves. [38:05] What do you think addiction is and where do you think it comes from? Vinny says he doesn't know where addiction comes from, and that it doesn't matter. [44:00] Talk to us a little bit about self-loathing. Vinny says self-loathing is shame. [46:35] Talk to us about burning the ships and being honest with others. Vinny says that sometimes we are not even aware that we aren't honest with ourselves. [52:30] Do you think that someone can become recovered? Vinny says if you want to use the word recovered in the present moment, yes. If recovered means you are cured, then no. [54:50] Rapid Fire Round What is your favorite alcohol-free drink? Pepsi-Cola What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has provided you? The energy here at my job, on a Saturday afternoon, seeing 30 recovering people connect with each other. What's some of the best advice you've ever received? Don't take yourself too seriously. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Take responsibility for yourself. You might need to ditch the booze if... You are a healthcare provider and you are taking care of somebody that needs you, and you have ran out of booze at 3 o'clock in the morning, and you abandon him and go and get booze. Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 Recovery Elevator in Costa Rica: From Jungle to the Beach - October 8 - 18th, 2020 You can find more information about our events here. The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Resources mentioned in this episode: ZipRecruiter This episode is brought to you in support by ZipRecruiter. Right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free. Visit Ziprecruiter.com/elevator Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – It All Starts from the Inside Out. We can do this."

Sofi took her last drink on April 28, 2014. This is her story. On today's episode Paul talks about tough love. If you are saying you want to quit drinking…but…"you can't because…fill in the blank ", or "you can't because you don't want to…fill in the blank", in other words, you want to quit but don't want to put in the work, well here's some tough love for you…that doesn't work. [11:00] Paul introduces Sofi. Sofi is 30 years old and it from London. She has 4 older sisters. For fun Sofi enjoys exercise and hanging out in nature while listening to podcasts. [15:00] Give us a background on your drinking. Sofi says she has always had an addictive personality. With alcohol Sofi noticed a change around the age of 14. She was at a boarding school so all her drinking took place on the weekends. Sofi says that the wheels came off when she went to university. Freshman year she was going out every night. By her 2nd year of university, when most of her friends had slowed down, Sofi continued her drinking ways. Sofi never finished university and at the age of 21 was in her fist rehab. That began a revolving door for the next 4 years…rehab, relapse, rehab, relapse. [21:00] 13 treatment centers, was there ever a time when you just felt like the next one wasn't going to work? Sofi says she liked rehab. She liked that when she was there, she met people that thought like she did. [25:50] What does 'you can't think your way out of this problem' mean to you? Sofi said she had learned all the tools in all of her rehab stays, but because she didn't know how to use them, she kept relapsing and going back. It wasn't until she had a moment of clarity that it all came together and made sense. [31:15] Talk to us about what you learned in those first 3 years, and then in the 2 years after that. Sofi says she was learning to live through the highs and lows during the first 3 years. She also learned, through the AA community, that she wasn't such a bad person and how to make things right with her family. The biggest thing that Sofi has learned, and is still learning, is that she does not need to punish herself. [34:05] How do you address self-loathing? Sofi says she at the place where she accepts herself, most of the time. She tries to treat herself as she would treat someone else. [36:15] Talk to us a little bit about your experience here at Hope Rehab. Sofi says it is such a fun environment. Hope Rehab is teaching people how to enjoy life sober. There is a big emphasis on exercise. [41:15] Rapid Fire Round What is a memorable moment, that a life without alcohol, has given you? Going on holiday with my family again, for the first time sober. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink? Hard to narrow it down, but anything sour. What are some of your favorite resources? It's easily other people. What's on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life? I'm living it now, going around the world and seeing as much of it as I can. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Stay connected. You might need to ditch the booze if... You have started drinking secretly. Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 Recovery Elevator in Costa Rica: From Jungle to the Beach - October 8 - 18th, 2020 You can find more information about our events here. The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Resources mentioned in this episode: Hope Rehab https://www.hope-rehab-center-thailand.com/ BetterHelp Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR. Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – It All Starts from the Inside Out. We can do this."

Lisa took her last drink on December 16, 2017. This is her story. On today's episode Paul talks about moderate drinking, and whether or not it works. For almost everyone, when we first decide to quit drinking, we try to moderate. The question isn't, can I still have alcohol in my life, but…do I want to be a moderate version of my authentic self? Are there success stories of moderate drinking? Sure. But they don't work out in the long run. [18:30] Paul introduces Lisa. Lisa is from Minneapolis, Minnesota. She is 40 years old and has 2 kids, a 21-year-old and 18-year-old. Lisa has been a single mom for 13 years. She is a RN and does patient care part time and education full time. For fun Lisa loves going to the gym, and when the weather is nice, she likes to hike. [22:00] Give us a background on your drinking. Lisa started drinking at the age of 14. She wasn't a huge drinker, but whenever she could drink, she did, and she always wanted to get wasted. At 27 she was newly divorced with 2 kids, and had come out of a very unhealthy relationship. Sad and depressed she moved in with her parents and that's when her drinking ramped up. Fast forward to 2017, at 37 years old, her son has left for college and she is feeling a little empty nest syndrome, is sad, is drinking and blacking out every weekend. Her last month of drinking she was drinking and driving, hanging out with people she wouldn't normally hang out with, drawing lines in the sand and quickly going over them. On December 17, 2017, she was up north with her twin sister, was nursing a really bad hangover, and says she looked at her sister and said she was done. Within the following week Lisa had called a girlfriend who took her to 3 AA meetings by the end of that week. [28:38] Was there a moment of clarity? Lisa says yes. She went up north with her sister to see a Christmas light show, still extremely hungover and getting sick during the ride, and as she got out of the car and saw the convention center, she just knew she was done. Within an hour of saying she was done drinking Lisa says her spirit felt lighter. [32:35] What roll has your sister played on this journey? Lisa says her sister has played a vital role, and that her sister herself is 1 year sober. At 3 months sober Lisa, sitting in her closet crying, called her sister who gave her the advice she needed to hear…to not "go back out" (drink). [36:30] Talk to us about how you did it, what's working for you? Lisa works a 12-step program and has a sponsor. She says that really early on she would look for ladies at meetings that had smiles on their faces. If she was asked to do something, she did it, she volunteered at a lot of events. Lisa loves bringing meetings into a detox. She also surrounds herself with friends that don't drink. [45:45] What did you expect sobriety to feel like, and what does it actually feel like? Lisa says she didn't expect life to be like it is. She expected her life at 2 years sobriety to be top notch. She catches herself being resentful that she doesn't have all that she expected would come with 2 years sobriety, but when she focuses on all she does have and all that God has given her, her life looks a lot prettier. [52:30] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? When I saw the look in my daughter's eyes when she thought I was drinking again. (Lisa was drinking a mocktail.) What is your favorite alcohol-free drink? Club soda with cranberry and a splash of lime. What are some of your favorite resources? The Recovery Elevator podcast, the RE Facebook group, making connections with people in Minnesota, AA and I sponsor a couple women. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Don't take yourself so damn seriously. You might need to ditch the booze if... If you are talking to the bartender, who you know is sober, about how much you want to quit drinking, at bar closing while intoxicated. Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 Recovery Elevator in Costa Rica: From Jungle to the Beach - October 8 - 18th, 2020 You can find more information about our events here. The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Resources mentioned in this episode: ZipRecruiter This episode is brought to you in support by ZipRecruiter. Right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free. Visit Ziprecruiter.com/elevator Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – It All Starts from the Inside Out. We can do this."

Andrew took his last drink on February 16, 2019. This is his story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! On today's episode Paul talks about 2 things. Number one is about how it is the simple things in life that matter the most. Number two is, watch out for addiction whack-a-mole, or transfer addiction, with an emphasis on technology and smart phones. [16:15] Paul introduces Andrew. Andrew is 47 years old and lives in Sidney, AUS. He is divorced and enjoys spending time by the water. [20:20] Give us a background on your drinking. Andrew was about 15 years old the first time he drank and he realized that, when he drank, he didn't quite behave the same way as everybody else. He says that he felt that alcohol calmed him down. [23:00] When did you first recognize that alcohol was causing more damage than good? By age 19 Andrew had 4 drunk driving charges. Andrew thought that spending 5 days in jail, after running through a roadside sobriety test, was a holiday because he had been working so hard. [24:30] How did you keep a lid on from age 19 to 46? Andrew says he didn't keep a lid on his drinking. He managed to work really hard at the jobs he had, working in the restaurant business. He says he was constantly getting fined at work, and driving to work drunk. Andrew says he was allowed to get away with this behavior at work because the restaurants would be doing so well under his management. [35:20] Did you feel you still needed some field research after your ban from the grocery store? Andrew says that this was the beginning of trying to find any way to get out from how he was. He was swimming in the ocean but this behavior increased for the next 6 months. After cutting his drinking back, but still drinking about 10 beers a day, he had a seizure, at the train station. This led to a 5-day hospital stay. [44:10] What can you say to listeners out there that feel that they are too far gone? Andrew says that there is no such thing as too far gone. [55:19] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? Probably the first time I was told, you can have alcohol, or you can have everything else. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you? Meeting my girlfriend. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink? Sparkling water. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life? I have one travel journey I'd like to take. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Seek out people who have already survived and listen to what they have to say. You might need to ditch the booze if... 27 years after almost ran over a police officer on the side of the road you get banned from your local supermarket. Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 Recovery Elevator in Costa Rica: From Jungle to the Beach - October 8 - 18th, 2020 You can find more information about our events here. Resources mentioned in this episode: BetterHelp Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR. Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – It All Starts from the Inside Out. We can do this."

Scott took his last drink on December 2, 2018. This is his story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Registration is now open for the 2020' Recovery Elevator LIVE event, Dancing with the Mind. The event will take place June 11-13 in Denver, CO. You can find more information about our events here. On today's episode Paul talks about control. He also talks about an article, by Anna Ronan Shaw, that he read. The article is titled Addiction Isn't a Sin, It's an Adaption, and you can find it here. Paul shares his take, that addictions represent part of our personalities that are in the most need of healing. [11:25] Paul introduces Scott. Scott is 48 years old and lives in Denver, CO. He is a bicycle mechanic. For fun Scott likes to ride bikes, exercise, and hang out with his dogs, Willie and Waylon. [22:00] Give us a background on your drinking. Scott started drinking in Jr. High/High School. Within a couple of years Scott got 2 DUIs, 9 years later he got his 3rd DUI and lost his license for 5 years. In January 2004 Scott decided to go to rehab. After making some phone calls he entered rehab on January 3, 2004, and stayed for 28 days. Once out of rehab Scott immersed himself into recovery and AA. In 2005 Scott was cleaning a family members house and found a vile of cocaine. He says that within seconds he had it lined up, and up his nose. He looked at that relapse as a lesson, reminding him how powerless over drugs/alcohol he was. He continued his AA and recovery journey. In 2008 Scott says he said the 3 most dangerous words an alcoholic can say, "I got this". He gradually left the support of his AA community and the farther away he got the emptier his "sobriety toolbox" got. In 2012 Scott bought his first house and thought it would be cool to sit on his porch and drink NA beers. Because of his 2 surgeries, and not liking pain pills, Scott started to smoke pot to help the pain. In October of 2013 Scott's father got in a really bad bicycle accident. In the ambulance ride to the hospital with his father Scott saw a liquor store across from the hospital. As soon as Scott's father was settled in the hospital Scott headed for the store. Without thinking about the 9 ½ years he had been alcohol free Scott got drunk that night. [32:33] What happened between then and 2018? Scott says his dad really never recovered from the accident. He had multiple surgeries that were all unsuccessful. On November 27, 2016, Scott's father committed suicide. After that Scott says he couldn't use, or drink, enough. He had no stop button. Scott sought out help from a therapist, who referred him to a doctor that agreed to help him stop drinking. He prescribed meds that Scott waited a couple weeks before taking. On December 3, 2018, Scott took his first benzo and hasn't drank since. [48:45] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? I think when I finally surrendered. When I accepted that I am an alcoholic and a drug addict, and that that's not a bad thing. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you? I would have to say that panel in Montana. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink? A raspberry Italian cream soda with Topo Chico. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life? I want to be a sponsor and I want to help newcomers at my meeting. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? There is no good day to start this, except today. You might need to ditch the booze if... You have a little bit left in a whiskey bottle and you decide to try to drink it all at once so you slam it down, and you throw up in your mouth and swallow that, and keep drinking the bottle and finish it. Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 Recovery Elevator in Costa Rica: From Jungle to the Beach - October 8 - 18th, 2020 You can find more information about our events here. Resources mentioned in this episode: Care/of For 50% off your first Care/of order, go to TakeCareOf.com and enter the code elevator50 Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – It All Starts from the Inside Out. We can do this."

Bianca took her last drink on October 3, 2018. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Registration is now open for the 2020' Recovery Elevator LIVE event, Dancing with the Mind. The event will take place June 11-13 in Denver, CO. You can find more information about our events here. On today's episode Paul talks about the process of rediscovering what you like to do, after ditching the booze, and to let it happen organically. He encourages you to engage in activities where you find yourself in a 'flow state', or 'in the zone'. Instead of focusing on new hobbies and fun activities, try to find things where you almost lose yourself. [7:30] Paul introduces Bianca. Bianca is 22 years old and is from Austin, TX. She recently graduated from college and is working for a temp agency while she looks for that full time job. Bianca lives with her girlfriend. For fun Bianca spends her time reading and in nature. [13:40] Give us a background on your drinking. Bianca didn't really drink while in high school, but in college she went wild. She tried to moderate during her freshman year by documenting everything she did that involved alcohol. That didn't work. The following year, 2016, she started doing drugs along with drinking. Bianca does not remember much from her junior year. By the beginning of her senior year (2018) she had a lot of things on her plate and her drinking was still up there. Bianca says she had a lot of little rock bottoms that finally accumulated into her big rock bottom, which happened on October 3. [17:40] What happened on October 3? Bianca and some friends went out to get something to eat. What started out as just one drink escalated to the point that one of her friends took her wallet away from her. They went to a liquor store after that, and Bianca ended up at home, alone, taking shots. She met up with her friends a little later, still sneaking double shots. Bianca stumbled home and after mixing more drugs with the alcohol she passed out. The following morning she woke up hating herself. [25:00] What was that first month like? On October 4th Bianca texted the hotline and did what they told her to do, she got rid of her booze and hid her drugs. She says the first few days and nights were tough. She would come home from class and cry. She was having intense nightmares and the shakes. She now feels like she gets a clarity upgrade every 3 months. [28:10] What was is like getting sober at 22? Bianca says she actually got sober at 21 and celebrated her 22nd birthday sober. She says it was hard, that there is a big drinking culture in Austin, TX. [32:00] What was harder, coming out as gay, or as someone with a drinking problem?? Bianca says both were hard. She came out as gay at a very young age. The hard part about telling someone she had a problem with drinking was the shame she felt. [33:20] What are you working on right now? Bianca says she is really working on her self-worth and showing up for herself. [36:20] Have you ever explored why you drank? Bianca said she has explored that with her therapist. She says growing up her family fell into the victims, of victims, of victims. She wasn't taught very good coping skills. [39:20] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? That I'm responsible for my recovery and nobody else. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you? The ability to really feel my emotions and to be surprised. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink? Water. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey? Definitely my sponsor, for sure. Meetings and AA literature. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life? Travel overseas sober. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? I would tell you all to slow down, as slow as you can go, and to feel your emotions. You might need to ditch the booze if... You buy over $200 worth of alcohol and it is confiscated within 3 days by a good friend. Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 Recovery Elevator in Costa Rica: From Jungle to the Beach - October 8 - 18th, 2020 You can find more information about our events here. Resources mentioned in this episode: BetterHelp Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR. SkillShare Get two months of premium membership for free at www.shillshare.com/elevator That's two whole months of unlimited access to thousands of classes for free. Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Reco

Greg took his last drink on October 2, 2012. This is his story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Registration is now open for the 2020' Recovery Elevator LIVE event, Dancing with the Mind. The event will take place June 11-13 in Denver, CO. You can find more information about our events here. On today's episode Paul talks about what happens to the dome when you stop drinking alcohol. There is a long list of benefits of quitting alcohol, and the mental health aspects are just as important as the physical ones. In the first year away from alcohol, and beyond, neurons in the brain that no longer fire together, no longer wire together. This means the neural connections that spark when we want to drink, or take a drink, begin to fade. In time new neural connections are created that don't involve alcohol. [9:40] Paul introduces Greg. Greg is 35 years old and from Orange County, CA. Greg is an actor and has a 4-year-old daughter. For fun Greg likes to go on adventures with his daughter and create music. [12:25] Give us a background on your drinking. Greg first started drinking alcohol as a social lubricant. Alcohol made it easier to talk to people and deal with things that he had tried to avoid. In the beginning Greg was more of a clown when he drank, but in his early to mid-twenties his drinking got out of hand. He was no longer drinking for fun anymore; he was relying on it to get through the day. [19:07] Was there a time when you knew the gig was up but you didn't know where to go for help, or how to stop? Greg said yes, that it was a really demoralizing moment involving alcohol and cocaine. He woke up, went outside in the rain, chain smoked about 10 cigarettes, and knew he needed to talk to somebody. He called his sister, and without giving it much thought, told her he needed help. His sister was there 20 minutes later, and with Greg's mom helped get him into a place. [20:55] What happened after that? Greg entered a treatment center and white knuckled it the first two weeks, and then eventually the clarity started to come. [24:30] Talk to us about your experience after rehab. Greg said he surrounded himself with sober friends and family. He started going to school and focused on that, and also stated going to meetings. About 6 months out Greg got a job volunteering at a treatment center. He said he stayed really busy with a lot of structure. [26:35] Why do you think it's so hard for people to ask for help? Greg said he thinks that it's our pride that gets in the way a lot of the times. Greg said he had a hard time asking for help because he felt that he would be a burden on someone and he didn't want people to become resentful of him. [36:00] How could it affect us if we are always thinking about the past or the future? Greg says if we are always thinking about the past we are going to tend to be depressed, and if we are always thinking about the future, we are going to tend to be anxious. Either one just drags us down and we are not productive. [38:00] Why do you think addiction is higher in the entertainment industry? Greg said that there are several reasons, one being that it is more readily available. [44:00] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? Witnessing my daughter being born. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you? My trip to Argentina. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink? Yerba Mate Revel Berry. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey? AA literature, online literature, stuff like that. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life? Seeing my daughter have kids. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Don't be afraid to ask for help. You might need to ditch the booze if... You get married in a blackout. Upcoming Events and Retreats. Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020 Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 Recovery Elevator in Costa Rica: From Jungle to the Beach - October 8 - 18th, 2020 You can find more information about our events here. Resources mentioned in this episode: Care Of For 50% off your first Care/of order, go to www.TakeCareOf.com and enter the code elevator50 This episode is brought to you in support by Care/Of. For 25% off your first month of personalized Care/of vitamins, go to TakeCareOf.com and enter the promo code ELEVATOR Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – It All Starts from the Inside Out. We can do this."

Kerri took her last drink on November 6, 2018. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Happy New Year! On January 1st the 4th Café RE group, UP, opened. 2020' Recovery Elevator LIVE event, Dancing with the Mind, will take place June 11-13 in Denver, CO. Registration opens on January 8th, you can find more information about our events here. On today's episode Paul talks about meeting the man he would stay with while in Mexico, hearing his story, and discovering they had a connection through the TEDx Talk that Paul gave. You can find the TEDx Talk, I've been duped by alcohol, here. Paul also discusses a video he recently watched, an interview by Dr. Gabor Mate, (author of In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts). Dr. Mate says if you want to look at what causes the addiction you have to look at the benefit of addiction. That the greatest myth on addiction is that its genetic, the other myth around addiction is that it is a choice that people make. You can watch the Dr. Gabor Mate video here. [10:14] Paul introduces Kerri. (**Doing the shownotes for my own interview is awkward! **) Kerri just turned 50, is married, and lives in Redding, CA. She has two adult daughters, that both have families, and is a grandmother to 4. For work Kerri recently fell into a new career, as a baker, and does stuff for RE. For fun Kerri loves to be outdoors, hiking, taking her 3 rescue dogs out, travel, and kayaking. [15:51] Give us a background on your drinking. Kerri started drinking in high school and was a black out drinker from the start. A family move before 9th grade made Kerri very angry. Alcohol helped her fit into a new school and she quickly became known as a partier. Kerri got married at 19, had her daughters right away. She says that her and her ex-husband were problem drinkers throughout their entire 17-year marriage. Kerri's drinking really ramped up after her divorce. [17:00] How old were you when you realized you had a problem with alcohol? Kerri says that in high school she knew she didn't drink like her friends, but that she didn't care. Alcohol got her out of her shell. [18:00] What happened after your divorce? Kerri says her drinking ramped up and it got bad, really quick. It was a big life change for Kerri, with the divorce, having to go out and find a job, and her daughters basically being out of the house. She was drinking at home alone, blacking out every time. [23:35] How come you didn't feel ready to do this interview? Kerri said she didn't feel like she had anything worth sharing. She said that has felt that way all her life. [26:23] Did you have a rock bottom moment? Kerri said yes. After getting her teaching credential later in life, which Kerri says was a dream job, she was fired from two teaching jobs as the result of her drinking. Kerri surrendered her teaching credential. [31:00] Talk to us about how you did it the first weeks, first month. Kerri said it was really hard, that she didn't know what anyone (co-workers, parents) was told or what they knew. Kerri was afraid to leave her house for fear of running into someone, she would grocery shop at 2:00 AM. She said she was filled with so much anxiety that she didn't know how she was going to come out of it the 2nd time around. She went to a therapist for the first time. She sought out and entered into a 90-day IOP program. [35:17] You've burned the ships on social media, what kind of response have you received? Kerri said she has received nothing but support and encouragement, and she encourages everyone to do it. [37:50] Talk to us about the breakthrough you had at the Bozeman retreat. Kerri said she got much from the entire retreat but it was the Clarity Breathwork that really did it for her. She said once she was able to stop paying attention to what was going on around her and just do her thing, she was able to experience something powerful that changed her. [44:38] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? That I don't have to live up to, what I think are, other people's expectations. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you? All these RE retreats, that is something I never would have imagined doing…taking off and meeting strangers. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink? I'm kind of boring, I really don't do the mocktail thing, I'm a water drinker. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey? Definitely Café RE, these sober meetups, retreats and I listen to a lot of podcasts. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life? Travel, travel, and more travel. I want to do a marathon. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? To recover, get sober, whatever you want to call it, your way. Your way may be different than someone else's, and to not worry about what other people think. You might need to ditch the booze if... You wake up one morning with a

Justin took his last drink on November 5, 2018. This is his story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! On January 1st, 2020 the 4th Café RE group will open. 2020' Recovery Elevator LIVE event, Dancing with the Mind, will take place June 11-14 in Denver, CO. You can find more information about our events here. On today's episode Paul talks about manifestation, how you basically create your future with your thoughts. We all do it, most often unconsciously. What is, and isn't, possible isn't your business, it's nature's business. Your business is to thrive towards what you want; sobriety, the why. To create what you want it must be clear in your mind, stay the course, make a commitment to this clear and coherent goal of quitting drinking. If you don't know what you truly want, seek love and connection in the mind with thoughts. Those two alone will blast through addiction. [14:25] Paul introduces Justin. Justin lives in Santa Cruz, CA. He is a musician and has been playing music for about 22 years. He is 31 years old. [17:27] Give us a background on your drinking. Justin says he got introduced to drugs and alcohol around the age of 16. He says he always wanted just a little bit more than everyone else, and then he started mixing up the drugs and alcohol at the same time. Shortly after graduating high school Justin's mother passed away and that sent him down a spiral. He started to really abuse drugs and alcohol, waking up sick every morning and hardly able to function. He realized that he needed to get help or he was going to die. [19:00] How old were you when you realized you needed to get help? Justin says it was around the age of 24 that he first really realized it, but that it wasn't until the age of 27 that he really that he had thoughts of really quitting. At 27 Justin realized he had to stop, and that he couldn't stop. [19:43] What happened then? One of Justin's friends told him about the plant medicine ayahuasca. Justin felt like he had to options, rehab or try the plant medicine. He signed up for an ayahuasca ceremony. Within a couple hours of drinking the plant medicine the first night Justin says he had a life changing experience. He was taken right to his mother's death and says she was there with him, holding him. After that experience that night Justin completely quit everything and was sober for 16 months. [23:20] What sneaky ideas did the thinking mind put in your head at 16 months? It was New Year's Eve and Justin had the thought that he would just drink a couple drinks that night, and go back to his sobriety the next day. What happened is he got black out drunk, doesn't remember the night, and woke up sick. [24:38] How long did you go back out for, and what brought you back? Justin said he went back out for 7 months, and then he did another ayahuasca ceremony, which brought him back. At the time he felt that he needed the plant medicine to bring him back, but now he's learning he can access that state of consciousness with yoga and meditation. [26:15] Get us up to speed to your sobriety date. There very last night Justin drank he told himself that he needed to stop. He started the night saying he would just drink one pint. The one pint led to at least 10 more drinks and Justin found himself getting kicked out of the bar. He got in his car, blacked out drunk, and sped away to the gym he goes to. He walked into the gym with a 12 pack of beer, went to the locker room and started chugging them, and puking in the lockers. Justin made a big scene and many other members were complaining about him. He was asked to leave the gym, or they were calling the cops. At the end of this night Justin woke up naked, covered in puke, in a bush in his yard, not remembering anything. [35:39] Talk to us about how you did it? Justin said he called a therapist the next morning, to talk about rehab. He was going to at least one AA meeting a day the first couple weeks. He still goes to a meeting about once a week, but doesn't feel that meetings help him as much as meditation and yoga. Justin says a recent meditation cruise was the best trip of his life. [42:25] Talk to us about meditation. Justin says he feels that his alcohol abuse was led by feeling there was a hole, or emptiness, that he wanted to fill, or that he wasn't enough. He wanted to cover up all those thoughts with alcohol. But now, he's learned, that instead of covering up the thoughts he doesn't want, to create the thoughts he does. [52:30] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? To love myself. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you? Meeting all these amazing people that are connected to the heart. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink? Probably water, honestly. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey? Plant medicine and YouTube. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free l

Val took her last drink on June 26, 2019. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! On January 1st, 2020 the 4th Café RE group will open. 2020' Recovery Elevator LIVE event, Dancing with the Mind, will take place June 11-14 in Denver, CO. You can find more information about our events here. On today's episode Paul talks about some recent events that he has gone through and why he ended up in Oaxaca, Mexico. While meditating this past June, Oaxaca; the name, the city, just showed up. Shortly after that, Oaxaca started showing up in film, tv, Netflix episodes, the Internet, and a gift he received from his mom was from Oaxaca. Paul says he then knew he had to travel to Oaxaca. Sobriety is your superpower, and an offshoot of that superpower is putting the body and mind in a state of calm. [12:00] Paul introduces Val. Val is 30 years old and is from Fort Collins, CO. She works from home for a software company. Val is married and is one of 5 children, and also has 4 step siblings. For fun Val likes to golf, walk her dog, do crafty things, cook and enjoys the outdoors. [16:00] Give us a background on your drinking. Val started drinking around the age 14/15 in high school, usually just on the weekends. In college her drinking became almost a daily activity, which was also the time she was prescribed Adderall. During college Val worked at different bars, and continued working in the restaurant industry after college. In a way, working at these places, validated Val's drinking because she didn't see herself as bad off as those she was serving alcohol to. Once out of college her drinking habit changed and she was drinking more at home, with her husband. This, at the age of 24/25, is also when she started using her Adderall more than it was prescribed. Adderall kept her productive even with a hangover. Around this same time Val says she started to realize that she (and her husband) might have a problem with alcohol and they started trying to moderate. [21:48] Half way through this year you both stopped drinking for a couple weeks, and then both relapsed, fill us in from there. Val says she was out of town when they relapsed, and that when she came back her husband was ready to be sober. She said she would do the same, but it was because she was abusing her Adderall and it was keeping her high. When she would run out of her Adderall she would start drinking again. [22:55] What was the tipping point for you? Both Val and her husband started going to AA. Val was going to meetings and meeting with her sponsor, but still drinking. Her tipping point came one night while throwing out all the bottles she had been hiding. [25:45] Talk to us about what happened after that moment of clarity? Val says she stayed up all night and waited for her husband to wake up because she had to tell him she had been drinking. It was a very emotional moment, he had known she was drinking, but he wanted her to make the decision to stop. A couple hours later she emailed her doctor and told her what was going on and to stop prescribing her any medication. Later that same day she also shared with family member and her sponsor. [27:40] What happened after you burned the ships? Val says it created the accountability she needed, and she could no longer go back. [30:43] How has it been for you off the ADD meds? Val says she doesn't get her house as clean as she used to, but that she is a more whole person without them. [31:56] Talk to us about the last few months, has there been challenges, have you had cravings? Val has had cravings, but says she doesn't get them as often anymore. Working from home can be triggering, and that is when Val plays the tape forward. [32:34] Walk us through a typical day. AA is still a bog part of Val's journey and she goes to 2-3 meetings a week. She has worked all the 12 steps with her sponsor and just recently started to sponsor someone herself. Val tries to get up at the same time every day, take a walk, do a daily reflection, and then jump right into work. Keeping a routine is really important to Val. [42:10] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? That connection with other people is so important. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you? Every single day has been a memorable moment. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink? LaCroix, any sparkling water, and my bad habit drink is the Redbull Pear Sugar-free. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey? Any, and all, podcasts I listen to. I have read Annie Grace's book, and your book Paul. And I am an avid believer in AA. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life? Right now, my focus is on my job, and hopefully in the near future starting a family. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? If you are on the fence if you should stop drinking, then you should st

Wendy took her last drink on June 4, 2017. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! On January 1st, 2020 the 4th Café RE group will open. There will be 2 in-person meetups in Australia this December. If you would like more info or would like to RSVP please email [email protected]. On today's episode Paul talks about incessantly thinking in the future, why we do that, what that leads to, and how to put that thinking beast back into the cage. When we are living in the future, we start to feel stress. Once we recognize, and become aware of how often we are future tripping, we can no longer ignore it and the deprograming has already begun. We deprogram first, then we reprogram. [13:45] Paul introduces Wendy. Wendy is 57 years old, married and lives in Sun City Center, Florida. She has two sons and one grandson. She works as a critical care nurse which she loves. For fun Wendy loves to be out in nature, exercise, walk, and do yoga. She also has a corgi and participates in dog shows. [21:45] Give us a background on your drinking. Wendy took her first drink at the age of 13. After her parents split up, she became her dad's drinking buddy. She went from using food to stuff down her feelings, to using beer. This continued through her teens, twenties and into her thirties. But it was escalating and she was needing more and more to catch that buzz. [24:20] Was there a moment that you recognized it was ramping up? Wendy says she definitely knew that it was getting problematic and that she was having side effects from it. She says that although she didn't get anything like a DUI, alcohol was taking up too much real estate in her mind. [25:55] When did you realize it was ramping up? Wendy says it was in her early 50s. She didn't really have a rock bottom moment but says she woke up one day and said, "I am done." She says it was almost like she flipped a switch in her head. [39:00] What techniques work for you when you are feeling anxiety? When Wendy first quit drinking she started going to a phycologist, who really helped her in the beginning. One of the things she taught her was HALT, and to never let herself get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. Wendy says she still follows that to this day. [42:20] How did you get through the first few months? Wendy says she read a whole lot of quit lit. She joined a support group on Facebook. She has a sobriety tool box and she keeps full. [47:00] What are the differences between year one and year two? Wendy says that year one really felt like survival, in a lot of ways, and how to be this new person. Learning how to deal with things without alcohol as a buffer. Wendy says that the cool thing about year two is that so many of those triggers start to fall away. She says she doesn't have the voices whispering to her, telling her how great it would be to drink. [51:15] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? That there is an entire world that doesn't revolve around alcohol. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you? The sunrises, being up with the sun and making that connection that life can be a beautiful thing without alcohol. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink? LaCroix sparkling water. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey? Journaling as I mentioned before, I like coloring, artwork and gardening. Having that tool box available in my mind. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life? Definitely more traveling. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? If you think you have a problem, you probably do. You might need to ditch the booze if... You pee down your leg, at a gala, at a fancy hotel, because you're so drunk you can't wait to get up to the room, and you just act like nothing is wrong. Upcoming retreats: Upcoming Events and Retreats. Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020 Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing With the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 Recovery Elevator in Costa Rica: From Jungle to the Beach - October 8 - 18th, 2020 You can find more information about our events here. Resources mentioned in this episode: This episode is brought to you by the smart shopping assistant Honey. Get Honey for free at www.joinhoney.com/elevator . Honey, the smart shopping assistant that saves you time and money when you're shopping online Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out. We can do this."

Torey took his last drink on October 9, 2017. This is his story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! On January 1st, 2020 the 4th Café RE group will open. There will be 2 in-person meetups in Australia this December. If you would like more info or would like to RSVP please email [email protected]. On today's episode Paul talks about what happens when a loved one quits drinking. First off, relationships are tricky even when not exposed to addiction turmoil. It is important to remember that both parties need healing. Here is some advice for the problem drinker in the relationship; remember communication is key and ask for help. Here is some advice for the normal drinker in the relationship; first off, you can't change the problem drinker, make sure you protect yourself and your energies, set boundaries. [13:30] Paul introduces Torey. Torey is 47 years old and lives in Bainbridge, WA and has 2 kids. He has been married since 2000. For fun Torey like fabricating and has been spending time finishing a lot of projects. He enjoys spending time with his family and going to school functions. [18:00] Give us a background on your drinking. Torey grew up in a small Wisconsin town and in high school drank on the weekends because that's what kids did. After high school Torey continued binge drinking during his Coast Guard years. After the Coast Guard Torey went to work in the maritime field and his drinking continued. Through the mid-nineties to 2010 the daily drinking continued and progressed. [22:40] What happened when you realized there wasn't another kind of alcohol to switch to, to feel better? Torey says his drinking was starting to be noticed and talked about. He realized that his kids had probably never seen him without a drink in his hands. When he started to hide his alcohol, he realized he might have a problem. He tried to moderate, which never worked. In 2015 things really ramped up. Torey was depressed, waking up so hungover that he was calling in sick, avoiding things at work, and the connection with his family was dwindling. [25:40] When you realized you weren't going to be able to make yourself stop did you seek outside sources? Torey says he knew he couldn't fix things himself and that he needed to start listening to people around him. On October 9, 2017, Torey's wife made an appointment for them to see a counselor that knew about addiction. [28:20] Talk to us about that day. Torey says he knew where he could get the outside support, that he knew about AA, but didn't go to a meeting for a couple days. He started listening to podcasts. He read Annie Grace's book, This Naked Mind, and said that's where it all came together for him. [32:30] When did you reach the moment when you thought, "I might be able to do this."? Torey says it was around day 14, he was out of town for work and looking for an AA meeting. The feeling that he had something in common with the 8-10 people at the meeting made it all click. [35:50] What have been some of the challenges you've faced and resources you've implemented along your journey? Torey said his first hurdle was avoiding people that he worked with that still drank heavily, and when he couldn't avoid them, he had a plan in place. He made sure he had things to do in the evening. He found an AA home group and was going weekly. When he would have a craving, he would follow the drink, knowing that it would never end with just that one drink. [44:48] How did it feel when you reached the conclusion that alcohol no longer defines you? Torey says he felt like he could be himself again. He feels like he can be his true self. [47:35] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? When after having a panic attack he had to be honest with the doctor about how much he drank. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you? Anytime I can go on vacation with the family. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink? Definitely LaCroix, but I'll drink any sparkling water. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey? Café RE, this group has been awesome, the AA community where I live, and reading more and more. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life? Finishing some major yard art I have started. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Dig deep. If you are thinking you might have a problem, you probably do. Listen to those around you, ask for guidance and help. You might need to ditch the booze if... A friend had given me a bottle of vodka with a bunch of peppercorns in it, and it was the last alcohol in the house and it wasn't going to go down the drain. Upcoming retreats: Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020 RE LIVE in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 You can find more information about this event here Resources mentioned in this episode: Skillshare - for two free months of instruction, go to www.skil

Dee took her last drink on January 17, 2019. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! On January 1st, 2020 the 4th Café RE group will open. There will be 2 in-person meetups in Australia this December. If you would like more info or would like to RSVP please email [email protected]. On today's episode Paul talks about PAWS, or what he refers to as 'healing symptoms. You can find a YouTube video on these healing symptoms, or PAWS, here. This period of experiencing these healing symptoms usually lasts anywhere from 3 – 6 months, but could last a little longer. You have 2 choices. The 1st choice is to keep drinking. With this choice there will be a painful progression and whatever emotions and physical repercussions you're experiencing now will only be enhanced in time. The 2nd choice is to quit drinking and embark on the most heroic journey. This choice gives you options, and you don't have to decide today. [14:50] Paul introduces Dee. Dee is 50 years old and recently moved to Albuquerque, NM. She works as a purchaser for the Federal Government. For fun Dee enjoys walking, hiking, biking, and meeting up with her fellow sober peeps. [17:20] Give us a background on your drinking. Dee was first introduced to alcohol by her parents as a child during the holidays. With high school came beer. Between high school and the age of 21 Dee really didn't do much drinking. 21 years old rolls around and Dee got really good at drinking and socializing. Alcohol seemed to fix her feelings of not being enough. Always a tomboy Dee felt the guys didn't really take an interest in her so the alcohol helped her become more flirtatious. At the age of 25 Dee became, what she called, a pro at drinking. Dee's dad got sick and passed, this prompted her to switch from drinking beer to hard liquor, thinking this would stop her from becoming an alcoholic. A month later Dee's husband died. Dee says she dove into the booze at this time and continued to drink heavily for years. [23:15] Do you feel that you properly grieved? Dee says she did not, that she didn't know how to properly grieve. Alcohol helped her get through this time in her life, when she was in so much pain she didn't want to live. It allowed her to sleep and it allowed her to manage getting up every day. [25:25] What role did alcohol play in your 30s and 40s? Dee was living in Florida and back to drinking "normal". At 33 Dee moved to Atlanta and decided she needed to quit drinking, so she did. She quit for 7 months. She started going to AA, and although she didn't feel it was for her she continued to go because that is what she knew to do at the time. After an offer of some free Dom Pérignon, Dee began drinking again. Fast forward to when Dee first joined Café RE. This was when her drinking really started to escalate, in 2018. Dee was in an unhappy marriage and although she didn't want to drink, she couldn't stop. Dee first joined Café RE in June 2018 and then thought she had her drinking under control and could moderate. She quit RE and drank for another 4 months before rejoining in January 2019. [31:50] Was there an emotional rock bottom? Dee says she fought with God, her higher power, over this for 25+ years. She says it was exhausting having one foot in church and one foot doing the drinking thing. So, Dee made the decision to face life without the alcohol. [38:15] You're entering the scary and uncomfortable area in life, called the unknown, how is this going? Dee says it is going well and she is not afraid. [39:40] Has there been cravings? Having the mindset that drinking is not an option has helped Dee. Dee has a lot of options to reach out to people when she needs to, and she uses them. Connection and community are key. Dee is slowly building connections locally, in a healthy way. [41:50] What is something that you learned at the RE Bozeman Retreat that you can implement in your journey? Dee says the meditation and the breathwork were the two big things for her, they have helped her slow down and stay in the present. [45:00] What are your thoughts on relapse? Dee says she hates that word. That is breaks her heart when she sees people posting that they have relapsed, and not because she thinks less of them, but because she knows how hard it is to pick yourself back up and stack days. [47:15] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? You can do it. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you? Nashville and Bozeman. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink? Waterloo Sparkling Water, Mango flavored. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey? Well, the number one is Café RE. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life? Writing a book. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Believe in yourself. You might need to ditch the booze if... You are in Ireland, flying

Lauren took her last drink on November 17, 2018. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! On today's episode Paul talks about the 'how', and says not to worry about the how you are going to quit drinking. Once you know the 'why' you want to quit drinking the how always solves itself. If you need help coming up with the why, most likely you have an encyclopedia of evidence behind you. It could be the intense emotional dips, depression, anxiety, letting yourself or those you love down. Put that why to work in your favor. [13:30] Paul introduces Lauren. Lauren is 38 years old. She lives in Sharon, Mass, and is adjunct faculty at a university in Boston in their School of Social Work. Lauren is married and has 3 children. For fun Lauren enjoys spending time outside, listening to LIVE music and hanging out with friends. [15:47] Give us a background on your drinking. Lauren says alcohol set up shop in her life while she was attending the University of Mass. In 2007 while she was finishing up her Masters in Social Work, she came across a binge drinking scale and realized that she had surpassed all female scales and was binge drinking like a man. This was the first time the Lauren felt, in her gut, that something might be wrong. Instead of listening to this bodily cue Lauren pushed it away and ignored it. In 2009 Lauren met her wife and saw a life she wanted and made some changes in terms of her drinking. [19:00] Talk to me about those changes that you made? Lauren says she just naturally toned it down a little bit. Her partner had children so they started doing more family things. In 2011 they were married. Lauren says that, at this time, her drinking was progressing and taking up more and more space in her life. In 2013 there was a hard stoop in Lauren's drinking, during her pregnancy, and she gave birth to their daughter. Even though there was this break in her drinking things picked up right where she left off. [20:25] What happens next? Lauren is a stay at home mom and her drinking escalates. She wasn't isolating, she joined a mom's group, and really didn't think she had a drinking problem because she wasn't drinking during the day. Lauren says that she started using drinking as a reward. She was blacking out more frequently, her relationships started suffering and Lauren says that, clearly, her addiction had the upper hand. [21:40] When did you start to realize there was a problem? November 20, 2018, they got a phone call, one that you never hope to receive. Lauren's stepson exited his car on a busy roadway and was struck by an oncoming vehicle. They soon learned that his injuries were far too significant for treatment and had to prepare to say goodbye. All the emotions and feelings she had been dousing in alcohol over the years came to the surface. [23:40] What happened on November 20th? Lauren says she somehow allowed all those emotions in fully and was unexplainably present in that hospital room. As the hours passed, she began to notice that along with all the pain and sadness in that hospital room there was something beautiful happening. Lauren says she felt gratitude, and felt it in every fiber of her body. [30:50] What happened after that first AA meeting? Lauren say she stuck it out with AA and is still working the steps and feels that there is great value to the steps. [31:30] What was life like after that? Lauren says the first weeks were really hard, but that all her relationships improved. [37:38] Talk to us about your experience with the breathwork session we had at the RE Bozeman Retreat. Lauren says she is glad she didn't know anything about breathwork prior to the session so she just followed directions and was breathing like they said to. Lauren experienced her stepson, Michael, visiting and talking to her during the session. [48:00] What's on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life? Travel and showing our daughter the world. [49:00] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? That it's not about alcohol anymore. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you? The fact that I have memories. Everyday with my family is memorable. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink? Pamplemousse LaCroix What are some of your favorite resources on this journey? Podcasts…Recovery Elevator, Recovery Happy Hour, and I do a lot of reading on The Temper. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? You're worth it. You can do it. You might need to ditch the booze if... You add Tito's to your spiked seltzer. Upcoming retreats: Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020 You can find more information about this event here Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story

Patrick took his last drink on January 1, 2019. This is his story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! A new Café RE group will be launching January 1, 2020! Also, Recovery Elevator Meet-ups in Australia have been scheduled for December! Be sure to check the events calendar or the weekly email. Paul is currently working on a meditation course, that he hopes to have out by early next year…warning, you may just might fall in love with yourself. On today's episode Paul talks about sharing and owning our story. This can be therapeutic, but also, if done too many times, dangerous. Why? Your story becomes your future. How do we stop this? We learn to protect us from our thoughts. When you take your energies and thoughts off your past addictions and traumas they can disappear. One way to do this is through meditation. [11:15] Paul introduces Patrick. Patrick was born and raised in Boston. He is a high school teacher and teaches religion and history. He is married and has a 6-year-old daughter. For fun Patrick likes long distance hiking, car camping and road trips. [14:20] Give us a background on your drinking. Patrick says he accepted that he was an alcoholic at the age of 18 when he entered the seminary. He got a fake ID at the age of 16 and was going into liquor stores at 16 and buying his own liquor. At the age of 18 Patrick started going to AA meetings. Patrick started drinking again, about the age of 29, and only beer. The next couple of years the beer became scotch, then vodka. After about 2 weeks of consuming vodka for 2 weeks Patrick contemplated suicide. When his baby was only 2 weeks old Patrick went to the hospital. He is 45 years old. He is checked into the hospital for 9 days to detox. A year later…picking up his 1-year chip at an AA meeting, he had already had a couple drinks before the meeting. [19:35] What happened next? Patrick and his wife decided they were going to have a baby. Wasn't what he planned…but he started hitting the bottle hard. He started hiding bottles all over. Patrick wrapped bottles in his hospital bag to get through the birth of his child. [33:50] What was different this time? Patrick says he reached a turning point, he could stay on the couch drinking scotch and vodka and have his wife leave him, or live the life he knew he wanted. [39:45] How'd you do it?? Like a bird…worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Be fully present in every moment. [43:50] What are some of the lessons you have learned about yourself along the way? Patrick says he is discovering who he's always been. [45:30] Were there cravings? Patrick says he has had cravings in the past but not the past 9 months. [47:05] How has your life changed without alcohol? Patrick says he is fully present with his wife and with his daughter…and fully present with himself. [47:50] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? Honesty. I lied mostly to myself, and then when I stopped it got better. What is a gift that sobriety has given you? Camping on the river with my daughter. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink? Polar Mango Cherry Bliss. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey? Podcasts…Recovery Elevator, This Naked Mind, Recovery Revolution, I go to AA and volunteer at a detox center. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life? A cross country trip with my 6-year-old. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Brutal honesty with self. You might need to ditch the booze if... You shoot vodka nips on your way to your 1-year AA anniversary. Upcoming retreats: Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020 You can find more information about this event here Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out. We can do this."

Jody took her last drink on October 20, 2015. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! On today's episode Paul shares with the listeners the many (12) steps, and team members, it takes to put a podcast episode together. And listeners…you are part of the team! Paul also covers an article he came across that talks about the relationship between alcohol and antisocial behavior is well documented. You can find a link to the article here. The question is, can we blame our bad behavior on the alcohol? The study in this article says no. Alcohol, according to the study, does not change your personality. Drunken you has the same moral compass as sober you. [10:20] Paul introduces Jody. Jody is 30 years old and lives in Orlando, Florida. She is a flight attendant and a mindset and transformation coach. Jody is not married and does not have any kids, yet. She loves to travel, read, cook, and do yoga. [13:25] Give us a background on your drinking. Jody was introduced to alcohol her freshman year of college. She found that alcohol helped her social anxiety. After graduating from college, she thought she would leave the binge drinking behind. That didn't happen. She continued to drink and smoke and have blackouts, and this frustrated Jody. [17:15] Can you dive deeper into your frustration? She moved back home and that addiction followed her. It helped her find people that made her feel normal. Once she decided she wanted to become a flight attendant she knew she would have to stop smoking because they drug test you. So, she did, and she got the job. During this time Jody started drinking more and drinking alone. [22:40] Get us up to speed, did you try to moderate, was there a rock bottom moment? When she started drinking alone, she tried to make rules and moderate, always breaking the rules. The voice inside got really loud and she started to believe that the world would be a better place without her. She felt her problem was too big. This is when she started to listen to the Recovery Elevator podcast. She got a new therapist and at the age of 27 she identified herself as an alcoholic, a word she does not use anymore. [24:30] Tell me your thinking on not using the word alcoholic anymore? Jody feels very passionate about this…this feels it's a very dangerous and harmful term to use. [27:40] Bring us up to October 20, 2015. Jody says she was just sick and tired or being sick and tired. [28:20] What happened after that? Jody says she's pretty much did it on her own. She took it one day at a time. Jody structured her days and it helped her stay sober and grounded. [29:15] In the first couple months did you experience cravings, and how'd you get past them? Jody says she made a really firm decision that she didn't want to drink and she didn't experience cravings. [30:20] Share with us your biggest life lessons during the last 4 years. Jody's first year was dedicated to loving herself. Year 2, 3, & 4 was all about mindset. She changed the way she viewed what had happened and how alcohol was viewed in out society. This ultimately made her leave AA. [33:40] Tell us about being a Mindset and Transformation Coach. About a year ago Jody decided she wanted to do something to help others that want to be alcohol free. There is nothing to be ashamed of. [38:25] You are loud and proud on social media, what has been the response? Jody says her posts are never about her, they are about the people that need to hear it. About sharing her story for those that need to hear that message. [43:30] Where can people get in contact with you? You can find Jody on Instagram here. [44:00] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? Realizing I am not my addiction, I am not what I have experienced. What is a gift that sobriety has given you? Being fully present at all times. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink? Recently I had a spicy AF jalapeno margherita. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey? Annie Grace's This Naked Mind, Alan Carr's The Easy Way to Quit Drinking for Women, this podcast, and anyone that is loud and proud on Instagram. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life? I want to help as many people as I can through coaching. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Be open, and committed. Stay curious. You might need to ditch the booze if... If you use the layering technique in your recycling bin. Upcoming retreats: Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020 You can find more information about this event here Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Jody via Instagram @jodyventura You Can't Blame Alcohol for Acting Like an A-hole Anymore, Say Scientists https://www.inverse.com/article/58809-alcohol-study-does-it-change-your-personality Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety T

Wendall took his last drink on June 13, 2019. This is his story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! On today's episode Paul talks about the 5 responses you get when you tell people you don't drink. He also discusses what you do when you accidently post on social media that you no longer drink. The 5 responses: 70% of the time you hear total support, "Wow that's so cool, because I want you to be the best version of you." 20% of the time the response will be that the person you told has a family member or close friend that has also quit drinking alcohol. 5% of the time you will get bombarded with questions as to why you don't drink. 4% of the time they will be supportive but will no longer be a part of your life, drinking was the reason they were. 1% of the time they will not be supportive of your decision to ditch the booze. [22:30] Paul introduces Wendall. Wendall lives in Toronto Ontario, Canada. He is 42 years old and is a director, producer, and cinematographer of documentaries. Wendall is married and has a 6-year-old son. For fun Wendall enjoys getting out in nature. [23:35] Give us a background on your drinking. Wendall says he didn't really start drinking until he was in university, about 1996. Up until his late 30's he was mostly a social drinker. Things shifted then. He was working a lot, traveling a lot, was stressed. Drinking became habitual at this time; it was both a reward and a stress reliever. With added responsibilities, came anxiety. Drinking then became a coping mechanism. In 2018 Wendall realized that all the rules of moderation he had tried to put in place weren't working. About 6 months ago binge drinking really started to rear its ugly head. He finally decided he couldn't drink anymore. [34:00] How did it feel after you set the bottle down? It felt like every new beginning comes from some others beginnings end. [35:25] What was it like living life without alcohol the first few days and weeks? Because his drinking was habitual Wendall realized he would have to create new habits. He started listening to recovery podcasts. His first 30 days was done pretty much in solitude. Instead of having his normal evening drinks he would listen to a podcast and read a few chapters. [39:20] How long did it take for the new habits to take hold? Wendall says it only took about 14 days because he wanted it so badly. [43:00] Have you told your film crew or others in your industry? Wendall has told his film crew as the situation came up, he simply tells them he just doesn't drink. [48:24] This project, Sober House, showed up on your plate when you were also exploring a life without alcohol? Wendall says it showed up in and around the time he was having some internal conflict with his drinking. Listening to the kids in this film talk about how much alcohol has impacted their lives was like the hammer hitting the nail square on the head. [51:52] How can the listeners find out more information about this project? They can go to www.soberhouse.ca , they can follow us on Instagram and Twitter at soberhousefilm. [53:27] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? Moments with my son are way better without a hangover. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you? While filming in the Yukon and coming out of the tent in the morning, mist rising off the lake, the sun streaming down and the mountain revealing itself. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink? Does ice cream count? What are some of your favorite resources on this journey? I really dialed back into my love of reading. The Recovery Elevator podcast, I binged that pretty hard the first 30 days, same with Recovery Happy Hour. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life? To really have great experiences with my family. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? I have 2, the first one is to listen to your body. The second one is listen to your body. You might need to ditch the booze if... If you know where every liquor store is in every major airport in your country. Upcoming retreats: Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020 You can find more information about this event here Resources mentioned in this episode: Sober House film https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oERDuy1WxgU&t=72s Honey This episode is brought to you by the smart shopping assistant Honey. Get Honey for free at www.joinhoney.com/elevator. Honey, the smart shopping assistant that saves you time and money when you're shopping online. Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out. We can do this."

Jay took his last drink on Decemeber 26, 2018. This is his story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! On today's episode Paul talks about a response to a post on Reddit. Not knowing exactly what the initial post said, Paul guesses it was something about the poster wanting to ditch the booze, but not being able to. The response…" You know what, you're heading in the right direction to win. You want to stop. You literally cannot win without that. I've lost friends to booze and none of them wanted to stop. Wanting to stop provides friction. It adds resistance to drinking, which has the effect of reducing your intake. Maybe you start an hour later in the day. Maybe you drink one glass less. That helps. It makes it easier to apply more friction in the future." The intention to stop is the most important thing. [9:44] Paul introduces Jay. Jay is 37 years old and grew up in upstate New York. He has lived in North Carolina for the last 9 years. He has a full-time sales job and a full time real-estate side hustle. He enjoys mountain biking and golf. He is married. [11:05] Give us a background on your drinking. In high school Jay had fun after the Friday night football games. In college Jay partied on Friday and Saturday nights. He was a weekend warrior during his twenties. He relocated in 2010 and started experiencing problems that he couldn't solve. This is when alcohol really made it's appearance. [14:40] Do you feel your sports background backfired when it came to quitting drinking? Yes. Jay says he ran into a set of problems that he could not out hustle, could not out grind. [15:30] Early thirties and anxiety is creeping up, take it from there. Rather than talking about it with the people he loved he internalized it. 2016-2018 Jay says he was a pressure cooker. He was never saying no, never setting boundaries. [17:50] Did you ever try to moderate? Around 2016 Jay recognized that alcohol was getting out of control. He would go 30-40 days AF a few times a year. After trying to fight a stranger at a party Jay knew the gig was up. He later had a conversation with his best friend and told him that he thought he had a drinking problem. Jay says that in that moment he felt a weight off his shoulders. [27:24] What did you find when you went internal? Jay learned that he's a people pleaser, that he didn't know what boundaries were, and having his emotional bids minimized really hurt. [32:20] How'd you do it? Jay says ever since the moment he told his friend that he has a drinking problem he has not experienced cravings. He has not attended AA, and does not like the term 'alcoholic'. [33:35] What's been the hardest thing you've gone through in sobriety? Jay says he's gone through some events where there has been a lot of drinking and when people asked him why he wasn't drinking his reply was, "I have goals so big that I and to give up some things." [37:15] What advice can you give to guys out there about emotions? There is no courage without vulnerability. [41:05] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? Finally digging down to what was causing the sadness and now having an awareness of that. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you? Those moments where this incredible peace overcomes you. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink? I drink coffee and water. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey? Writing in my journal every morning has been a tremendous help. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life? Fly to California and drive the Pacific Coast Highway from end to end. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Have the courage to be honest with yourself and with the people closest to you. You might need to ditch the booze if... If you self-impose a rule of only two 24 oz. Twisted Teas and then switch to Miller Lights because you're worried about cavities. Upcoming retreats: Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020 You can find more information about this event here Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out. We can do this."

Gracie took her last drink on September 29, 2018. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! On today's episode Paul talks about connection. Human connection is an innate need to create a social bond with others. For those that found a temporary connection with alcohol and are now trying to ditch the booze now find them facing disconnection head on. You are listening to the inner voice that isn't craving alcohol, but is craving connection. How to connect…ask for connection every single morning. Aim for 50% to be external connections, and the other 50% internal. If a connection is built within, we can go through difficult times in life and still feel that warmth. If you address the internal connection the external connection solves itself. SHOW NOTES [14:25] Paul introduces Gracie. Gracie grew up in the Midwest and is currently living in Chicago. She is 32 years old and is a nurse. Gracie loves camping, backpacking, traveling abroad doing medical trips, and has recently gotten into rock and minerals. She lives with her boyfriend, who is 4 years sober. [22:55] Give us a background on your drinking. Gracie didn't start drinking until she was 19 years old and off at college. Her drinking didn't get bad until age 21/22 when she was in the Peace Corp and was partying hard with the other volunteers. In her mid-twenties she was binge drinking on the weekends and coming home and drinking by herself. She was experiencing a lot of loneliness and anxiety at the time, so would drink. By Gracie's late 20s she was drinking most nights and having blackouts. Gracie says she had a lot of 'soft bottoms' and it wasn't until she was about 28 years old that it occurred to her that she needed to stop drinking. It was at this time that Gracie was starting to read self-help books and was interested in spiritual growth. As she started getting into medication retreats and plant medicine, she says she kept getting the message, from her heart, that her drinking was holding her back. [37:45] How did it feel when you started to feel your feelings? Gracie says she was afraid in the beginning, that she was even afraid to feel a feeling coming on. She says meditation helped her let the feelings come and pass. Gracie says it took months for her to learn to trust that a feeling wouldn't swallow her whole. [41:45] Was there a rock bottom before you quit drinking? Gracie says there was a lot of heartbreaking moments. She was functioning but her relationships were suffering. She says there was this constant low-grade feeling of disfunction. [44:50] Share with us how you did it. Podcasts and books were a big part of her getting sober. For maintenance she uses her sobriety tracker on her phone. She is running a lot and taking her health more seriously. [46:55] Do you have an in-person community that you meet up with? Gracie says she does not, but that she thinks that may be what is next. Meetings have never been part of her journey but she says that may be her next step. [48:12] What was the response when you posted on social media? Gracie says the response was so supportive and it proved to be a very good thing for her. [50:25] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? I guess when I first heard, "stop obsessing about the word alcoholic and just look at what drinking is doing in your life.". What is a gift sobriety has given you? So much energy. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink? I love gingerale and I love this Jamaican drink called Ting. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life? I'm starting some trainings and certifications to become a flight nurse. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Feel your feelings and love yourself. Make sobriety the most important thing in your life. You might have a drinking problem if... You are an avid camper and want to achieve the perfect amount of hydration with drunkenness so you mix vodka with flavored Smart Water and just end up making a total ass of yourself. Upcoming retreats: Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020 You can find more information about this event here Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – We took the elevator down; we have to take the stairs back up. We can do this."

Patty took her last drink on July 19, 2017. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! On today's episode Paul talks about the two main sources of unhappiness and how hope is sending us barreling off a cliff. On the surface hope is great. But where is it located on a timeline? In the future, not in the now. If hope isn't serving us, then what? Throttle back on the hope and lean into 'this moment'. SHOW NOTES [12:00] Paul introduces Patty. Patty is 665 years old and is originally from Fairbanks, AK. She currently lives in Corvallis, OR. Patty has 3 children in their forties and 7 grandkids. She worked at a university for 30 years and is now retired. For fun Patty likes to hike, kayak, and sailing. [13:55] Give us a background on your drinking. Patty says she was 14 years od the first time she got drunk, and that she was a black-out drinker her very first time. It wasn't until she was in her 30's that she felt she may have a problem; it was then she started to drink at home alone. When Patty was in her forties, she started to attempt to give up alcohol. She would go a couple days up to 11 months, and that went on for about 15 years. [18:15] Was there a moment that it got scary for you? In early 2017 she drove home drunk from the airport and realized the next morning how dangerous that was. She says it scared her, that she could have killed someone, or herself. [20:50] How did you do it those first couple weeks? Patty said she had a different mindset this time. This time her mindset was one of, 'I don't have to do this (drink) anymore', rather than, 'I can't do this anymore.' [26:00] What are some improvements in life that you have experienced in a life without alcohol? Patty says she used to make a lot of plans and then not follow through with them, she doesn't do that anymore. She has signed up to get her pilot's license, something that she has always wanted to do. Going to the RE Bozeman retreat. She has been a lot more physically active, instead of talking about walking the dog, she just gets up and goes. [30:25] What is something that you've had to go through in the last 2 years that you didn't expect? Patty's mom died 3 months ago and drinking didn't even seem like an option. It was a real tough time, losing her mom and with family drama, but she was able to be present and she didn't have conversations that she regretted later. [37:20] What's the biggest thing you've learned about yourself in these last 2 years? Patty says it's that she in genuinely a happy person. [38:00] Was there a rock-bottom moment? The drive home from the Eugene airport. Also, on July 19 drinking with her daughter, who herself was struggling with alcohol, and her 16-year-old granddaughter. [43:00] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? That I don't have to drink. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has provided you? Waking up early, I have just started taking a morning Pilates class. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink? LaCroix, hands down. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life? I hope to live in Panama half of the year, and I'm working on that. What are some of your favorite resources in recovery? Definitely Café RE, and I'm a reader so I have every self-help book probably written since 1972. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Think it all the way through, and remember you just don't have to drink. You might have a drinking problem if... You consider dropping $100 at every airport bar as just part of your traveling expense. Upcoming retreats: Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020 You can find more information about this event here Resources mentioned in this episode: ZipRecruiter This episode is brought to you in support by ZipRecruiter. Right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free. Visit Ziprecruiter.com/elevator Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – We can do this."

Kelly took her last drink on October 27, 2017. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! On today's episode Paul talks about his idea of opening an in person, wellness retreat center in Costa Rica. And while he has been working to create space for this idea and concept, and believes that the body is on board, there is still some discomfort getting out of his comfort zone. The fact is, we all have rough days, including Paul. He says it's important to give the body permission to feel the feelings, and also to give the body permission to allow them to go. If this retreat center is something you'd be interested in attending email Paul at [email protected] . Paul also addresses the question of, when do you know it's a good time, after quitting alcohol, to start tackling other substances, behaviors, thought patterns, etc.? Paul's advice is to go slow and to be patient, your body will know when it is time. SHOW NOTES [15:15] Paul introduces Kelly. Kelly is 54 years old. She is married and has 2 adult children. Kelly is a full-time social worker at a hospital, and she speaks Spanish. For fun Kelly would like to get back into collecting vintage clothing. She likes to read and is looking forward to getting into outdoor activities. [19:30] Give us a background on your drinking. Kelly started drinking in 9th grade, just your average high school drinker. By her 2nd year of high school she feels she was drinking more regularly. She didn't think she has a problem with alcohol because she wasn't like her father. In 1987 she moved, thinking that that would fix any drinking issues she had. [31:05] What happened right before you quit drinking? There were a lot of stresses going on. She was constantly afraid of being pulled over to started to us LYFT. There was a lot of risk taking. She started buying bigger bottles. Her son started to go to meetings for his own addictions. One nigh he told Kelly he didn't feel it was safe for him to live at home, because of her drinking. That was the last night she drank. [39:15] Talk to us about how you are embracing AA and the other side? For the first 18 months Kelly was only doing AA. But she was also reading a ton of books by/or about women alcoholics. She says the AA meeting have been helpful but that she is bothered by some of the steps. [53:00] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? That I am as strong as I am. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink? I like kombucha, and I like coffee. What are some of your favorite resources in recovery? I like Russel Brands' Recovery on CD. I listen to him in the car. AA meetings, I do like 3-4 a week, and the Big Book. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life? Eventually liking the outdoors. Getting outside more. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Listen to any voice inside that is telling you that something is wrong. You might have a drinking problem if... You are 23-year-old woman that has gout. Upcoming retreats: Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020 You can find more information about this event here Resources mentioned in this episode: Honey This episode is brought to you by the smart shopping assistant Honey. Get Honey for free at www.joinhoney.com/elevator . Honey, the smart shopping assistant that saves you time and money when you're shopping online Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – We took the elevator down, we have to take the stairs back up."

Dan took his last drink on July 28, 2018. This is his story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! On today's episode Paul talks about how we need to read his book, and others like it, with pride. We have to shred the shame and ditch the stigma. He shares a letter he received from someone that attended the Recovery Elevator Retreat in Bozeman recently, and as she was reading Alcohol is Sh!t on the plane the lady sitting next to her asked about the book. And she was able to share. Turned out the lady was on her way to help her daughter who had relapsed and needed to hear everything she had to say. SHOW NOTES [10:10] Paul introduces Dan. Dan is a father of 3, has a daughter in college and the youngest is 14. He works as a retail executive. He lives in New York and enjoys cycling. [12:45] Give us a background on your drinking. Dan says he started drinking in high school and drank all through college. He says that drinking is a big part of the business world and he fell right into that. He didn't realize he had an issue, but his wife did. He said he was drinking 5-6 drinks a night. [15:35] Talk to us about how you asked yourself, "how can I quit?". Dan says he called a hypnotist to get some help, but after his initial call to her he never followed up. About a month later, on July 29, 2018, he was in a bad bicycle accident. His doctors took great care of him and he hasn't had a drink since. [18:10] What happened after the accident? He had a bad brain injury so was told that he should not drink, if he did, he could have a seizure or a stroke. After 10 days Dan came home from the hospital only to find out that his wife had removed all the alcohol from the house. Dan says that was like being asleep and thrown into an ice-cold pool. His brother told him he needed to go to AA so he walked into one only to feel like he didn't belong. He left that meeting angry and determined to show everyone wrong. [24:05] How are you feeling now? Dan says it's a little bit of 'he's going to show them (his friends and family)' and it's a little bit of he likes the way he feels and he looks. [26:47] You were told by your doctor not to drink for a year, because of the chance for a stroke…did you ever have the thought when that year was up to pick up a drink? Dan says no, in fact he went to the conference he was supposed to be at the year before and never thought about it. [28:17] At your yearly physical you asked your doctor if you could now have a glass of wine, and he asked you, "why would you?", can you answer that question? Dan says because of the social aspect, he admits to missing it. [39:20] Dan talk to us about that connected feeling. Dan is feeling connected to life and not the alcohol. He is feeling more connected to his family. [40:25] What's on your bucket list for an alcohol-free life? Going to a sporting event AF and seeing what that's like and racing again. [43:00] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? When I was at my physical and I asked my doctor if I could have a glass of wine and he leaned across the table and asked, "why the F would you?". What's a memorable moment a life without alcohol has given you? A better connection with my children and my wife. What is your favorite poison free drink? Diet Coke, I drink too much of it. I also like a nice latte. What are some of your favorite resources in recovery? My favorite resources would be my family, cycling, I have a lot of resources at work too. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? It's not all about work, life is a balance, and the more pressure you're under you need a release and a hobby. You might have a drinking problem if... You're a business person that the alcohol is incorporated into the fabric of your life. Upcoming retreats: Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020 You can find more information about this event here Resources mentioned in this episode: ZipRecruiter This episode is brought to you in support by ZipRecruiter. Right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free. Visit Ziprecruiter.com/elevator Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside out."

Rose took her last drink on March 12, 2019. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your copy on Amazon here! On today's episode Paul talks about Recovery Elevator Bozeman Retreat that took place this past August. One of the speakers at the retreat was a spiritual teacher that Paul has worked with, Elaine Huang, you can find out more about her here. And a BIG thank you to the sponsors of the retreat. Nutzo, an organic 7-nut seed butter, that provided a jar of said butter to everyone that attended! Rise Brewing Co., provided Nitro Cold Brewed Coffee! Fire Brew, an apple cider-based health tonic, provided shots for everyone! And tajín, a seasoning blend of lime, chili peppers and sea salt, provided a bottle of zing for all! The cool thing is that these sponsors wanted to be a part of this event. Thank you to Odette who worked hard in setting it all up! SHOW NOTES [22:20] Paul introduces Rose. Rose is 37 years old. She is from New Zealand but is currently living in France. Rose is a physiotherapist by trade, but her degree is not recognized yet in France so she is teaching English. She is a newlywed and they have a 3-year-old son. For fun Rose likes to cook, sing, be outdoors, and go to gigs. [25:20] Give us a background on your drinking. Rose started drinking as a teenager. She says she grew up in a loving family but that everyone was a boozer, that it was normal. At 18 she went off to university but dropped out after 2 years because it was getting in the way of her drinking. She moved cities in search of new drinking friends and for the next 5 years was in an abusive relationship. Rose says she spent a good chunk of her 20's getting out of, and recovering from, that relationship. Rose then spent time on a friend's large sailing boat and sailed to Fiji, continuing her drinking. She then went home and started studying to become a physiotherapist. Rose says she slowed her drinking down while she was studying. [28:25] What happens next? Rose got her degree, got a great job in a hospital where she wanted to work. In 2016 she had her son. She says after the birth of her son she fell into the 'mommy drinking' culture. Rose also started to feel like an imposter. Promoting health at work but doing the very opposite personally. [32:20] Was there anything in particular that led you to ditch the booze? Rose says a big part of it was moving to France in 2017. She found France's drinking culture to be the polar opposite of New Zealand's which made her feel out of place. Even though she knew she needed to stop her drinking ramped up at the beginning of this year after the death of a close friend. [35:15] What happened on March 12th? Rose says she had started to drink during the daytime, when she wasn't on pick-up duty with her son. She also started smoking cigarettes. She started feeling guilty about not being present as a parent. She reached out to an American friend she had met on that sailing ship that was posting about being sober. This friend led her to Café RE. [38:50] How did you do it? Rose says she told her husband, creating some accountability. Her husband was very supportive. The removed all the alcohol from the house and Rose declined engagements for a while. She joined Café RE and jumped in and starting participating and getting involved. [48:50] How have things changed in an alcohol-free life? Rose says she's a better mother, she's present. She has an increase in self-love and self-worth. [55:05] Rapid Fire Round What is your favorite alcohol-free drink? Pineapple and lime sparkling water. What are some of your favorite resources in recovery? I loved The Joy of Being Sober book. I also really love Josh Korda's Dharmapunx podcast. There is a New Zealand woman named Lotta Dann and she has a book, and blog, by the same name called, Mrs. D is Going Without. What's on your bucket list now that alcohol isn't part of your life? A lot more travel, I love to travel. To be able to help someone else get sober. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? Connect, connect with people. Look for the similarities and not the differences. You might have a drinking problem if... You're drinking wine out of a coffee mug just so the neighbors won't know because it's 11 AM on a Monday. Upcoming retreats: Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020 You can find more information about this event here Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you have to take the stairs back up."