Recovery Elevator

This week's topic is PAWS- Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms/Syndrome. Paul explains what PAWS is, how to deal with it, and some of the signs to look for. Josh, with 15 months since his last drink, shares his story SHOW NOTES [8:13] Paul Introduces Josh. I am from Phoenix originally, now living in LA; I am a digital content producer. I am 36 years old. I like hiking and exploring with my miniature golden retriever Diego. [10:30] Paul- You left AA in recovery determined to find a way to drink normally. How did that go? Josh- Once you've been introduced to recovery and then you go back out, it's tough because you can't enjoy drinking the way that you were. I just wanted to learn to drink responsibly. To me it felt like there were people with more serious problems than me. [19:35] Paul- Why did things start to change after you adopted Diego? Josh- It took me out of myself. Talking to others about their dogs. Going to the dog park, and meeting other people. I kept myself busy in early sobriety. Having Diego at home with me really helped me more than I can explain. [27:49] Paul- Talk to me about outpatient treatment, what was that like? Josh- I didn't feel connected to the group, it wasn't a good experience because I wasn't' putting the work into it. When I was finally ready in 2016, it was a really good experience. I went 6 days a week for the first month. [35:07] Paul- Where are you at these days with 12 step programs? Do you go to AA meetings? Josh- I do. I was anti- AA for a long time. I don't embrace everything about it. What I admire is that it is organized so well. There is a core connection of people there if you want it. I was going to 5-6 meetings a week the first year. I definitely get something out of it. It is not everything to me. I am working the steps. [38:31] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? I blacked out in the middle of trying to go to Jack in the Box and moved my roommate's car out to the street where it got towed. We had to go to the tow yard and get his car. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Too many to mention. One being at my friend's house and drinking his entire liquor collection. Another one would have been when I almost been fired from my work. I told myself I wouldn't drink at work anymore, and 6 weeks later I was. What's your plan moving forward? My plan is to keep doing what works and stay connected. I count my day's everyday. I take pride in each day as a separate milestone. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Diego, my dog. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? "It's never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life that you are proud of, and if you find you are not, I hope you have the strength to start over." What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? This has to be the most important thing in your life. You might be an alcoholic if you are out with friends at a bar, and you go to the bathroom, but you stop at the bar to have a shot by yourself, and then return to the table to resume to drinking. Resources mentioned in this episode: Post-Acute Withdrawal (PAWS) Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Paul summarizes an article from National Geographic "The Science of Addiction." Nearly 1 in 20 adults worldwide are addicted to alcohol. 21 million Americans have a drug or alcohol addiction. Making the disorder more common than cancer. Addiction is a pathological form of learning. Carey, with 40 days year since her last drink, shares her story SHOW NOTES [8:52] Paul Introduces Carey. I am 30 years old; I'm an RN from Rochester New York. I used to say I liked to do a whole lot of things, but I put a lot of it on the back burner when I was drinking. [14:45] Paul- Did you have a rock bottom moment? What caused you to make this decision to get into sobriety? Carey- I feel like there are so many situations in which I should have chosen that time. 40 days ago was the time I decided to make the decision for myself. I hated when people told me I should quit drinking. [19:39] Paul- Before 40 days ago, was that your first time tried to quit drinking? Carey- Back in the day when I first started noticing issues, I was trying to narrow it down. I went through the whole cycle. After the wedding I had quit drinking for 10 weeks. If I got into nursing school, I was going to celebrate with wine. A few months after starting nursing school I got a DWI. [35:28] Paul- You were sick and tired of being sick and tired. You used the word excited. How has that shift in mindset? Carey- I was excited at the fact that I didn't have to worry anymore. I didn't have to go out to dinner and worry if my second order of beer would be frowned upon. I am excited about meeting other sober people. [42:39] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Let me count the ways. One of the worst ones was when I got home from a concert, and drove to my friend's house because I thought I left my phone in his car. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? I would say my DWI. I also hate to admit that my dog was with me at the time. That scared me for sure. What's your plan moving forward? Right now I want to keep learning and getting out of my comfort zone. I love Café RE, which has been amazing. I want to explore the steps. What's your favorite resource in recovery? The Recovery Elevator Podcast. I am going to be sober today, and plan on being sober tomorrow. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Tell somebody else. Do research, look into sobriety and come up with a game plan. You are not alone. You might be an alcoholic if you don't like being called an alcoholic. Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

I want to talk about the word Alcoholism, more specifically, the tail end of that word, the ISM- Incredible Short Memory, the painful acute memories are sobriety fuel. We cannot do this alone. Adam, with 57 days since his last drink, shares his story SHOW NOTES [8:50] Paul Introduces Adam. I'm 36; I live in New Hampshire, married with 2 awesome sons and a beautiful wife. I love being outdoors. I began drinking in my early twenties. I was drinking to get away from stress problems. It got to the point where I was drinking everyday. [15:05] Paul- What was different on July 17th? Was it a shift in mindset? Did you go to an AA meeting? Adam- It was more of a mindset. Everywhere I looked there was something about recovery. It was my mind putting it out there. I created the accountability, and it made it harder to go back on. [21:40] Paul- Was there some sense of discomfort before you quit drinking? What was the source of pain? Adam- It wasn't anything huge. I called myself a high bottom drunk. There wasn't anything that set it off. I was sick of relying on it everyday. Waking up every morning sleepier than I should be. It became too much a part of my life, and I didn't want it there anymore. [23:56] Paul- What was it like the first 24 hours? The first couple of days, the first week? Adam- It was not the easiest time in my life. I had a little bit of the shakes, some headaches the first 3-4 days was the worst of it. I remind myself how great I feel now. [26:53] Paul- What's on your bucket list in sobriety? What do you want to achieve with this new life you've been given? Adam- I want to spend more time with my family Instead of playing with the kids, the first thing I would do would be to grab a drink. They are 3 and 7 years old right now. Be closer to them. This time of their life I really want to remember. [29:45] Rapid Fire Round Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Just realizing that everyday that was the first thing when I got home from work that I wanted to do. What's your plan moving forward? Just to keep enjoying life, get to know my kids better, and getting healthy. What's your favorite resource in recovery? It's the Recovery Elevator Podcast. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? The accountability. Creating that accountability and making it a real thing. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Suck it up and talk to somebody. It has to be someone that you care about and trust and respect. Once you make it a real thing, you will not want to let them down. You might be an alcoholic if you lie to your wife when you are sick as a dog, because you know she will say you don't need that beer tonight. Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

New data has revealed that one in eight Americans are now alcoholics due to an alarming rise in alcohol consumption in women, elderly people and ethnic minorities. Experts at the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism say that the rise could constitute a public health crisis that is being overshadowed by the opioid epidemic and marijuana legalization. During an 11 year gap, the number of people who received a diagnosis of alcoholism shot up by 49 percent, meaning 12.7 percent of the population - or roughly one in eight Americans - are alcoholics. Megan, with 11 hours since her last drink, shares her story SHOW NOTES [5:15] Paul Introduces Megan. I'm from Baltimore, Maryland. I am 38, single, with a live-in boyfriend. [7:19] Paul- What forced you to reach out to me again, and give us a little background. Megan- The whole point of what you are doing is when you can relate to other people. I love that you are an advocate for the acceptance part of it. People are ashamed to come out so to speak. I didn't start drinking until late in college. I liked the way it made me feel. I wasn't self-conscience. It was never really a problem. One day in my late twenties I realized I was drinking everyday. [23:49] Paul- Talk to me about your withdrawal symptoms. Megan- It's usually worst the second and third day. The shaking and the anxiety is the worse. I can't shut my brain off. [26:36] Paul- What's your plan? How are we going to do this? Megan- I am going to get through today. One day at a time. Right now it is just getting through today. I know that I want to get sober and stay sober. Am I done yet? I'm not entirely sure. I want to be there, but I don't know if I am. [32:36] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Blacking out. I started drinking after a run; I woke up the next day and had no memory of how I got home. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? About a month ago, I got up in the morning and was walking to the grocery store and I couldn't walk. I inched across the street and went back home. What's your plan moving forward? What's your favorite resource in recovery? I love podcasts. The HOME Podcast, the Shair Podcast, Recovery 101. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Don't beat yourself up. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? You are going to feel crappy. Don't make it worse on yourself by pouring poison into yourself. It's going to get a little bit better everyday. You might be an alcoholic if the liquor store on the corner knows exactly who you are, and lines up 4 mini bottles of Fireball everyday at 9:00 in the morning. Resources mentioned in this episode: It's a public health crisis: 1 in 8 Americans are now alcoholics By Abigail Miller for Dailymail.com Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Paul reads posts from members of Café RE answering the question: "What are some things that helped you in early sobriety? There are some emerging common themes from these responses. Change, you don't have to change much, you just have to change everything. Accountability is the key, you can't do this alone. Alcoholism is a thinking disease. You can't think your way out of it. Knowledge is not power unless you use it. Marybeth, with 8 months since her last drink, shares her story SHOW NOTES [8:40] Paul Introduces Marybeth. I'm 51; I live in southern New Hampshire. I am married with 4 children, 2 of which have special needs so that takes up some time. I like to visit with friends and family, downhill ski, and exercise. [13:39] Paul- Tell us about your drinking habits, how much did you drink prior to November 26th, 2016? Marybeth- I was a big red wine drinker. I did a sugar cleanse, and then I ended up sipping Tequila neat. Then I switched back to wine. I knew I would never be a morning drinker, or drink before 5:00. I typically had 2 glasses of wine a night for years. [17:45] Paul- Was there a bottom moment, or were you sick and tired of being sick and tired? Marybeth- I attribute my sobriety to an accident. I broke my ankle while I was walking and texting. It was difficult to be on crutches, and drink at the same time. I came upon the 30-day sober solution while I was in my cast. [21:48] Paul- How important do you think accountability has been these past 8 months? Marybeth- It's been really great. I couldn't handle my alcohol, and was passing out early. Now I can stay up late and have fun. I was asleep and numbing my self with alcohol. I was snared by it socially, and numbed by it unintentionally. I wasn't seeking to numb anything. [29:05] Paul- What does your sobriety portfolio consist of? Walk us through a typical day of sobriety. Marybeth- I wake up everyday and meditate for 30 minutes. I use the headspace app. It is like exercising a muscle. I connect with friends, and do things, which interest me. [30:16] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? I was separated from my husband, and got into a car. I put the car in drive instead of reverse and ran over the curb. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? When I broke my ankle. I had a bloody Mary on board when that happened. What's your plan moving forward? I am going to continue with meditation, my wellness, helping others, and reading books. Possibly attending an AA meeting. What's your favorite resource in recovery? The Recovery Elevator Podcast. I love listening in the car on the way to work. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? My dad was a recovering alcoholic. He would always say don't sweat the small stuff. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Just do it. You can always go back to drinking if sobriety doesn't work for you. You might an alcoholic if you are at a weight watcher meeting and all you are concerned about is if you have enough points left for wine at the end of the day. Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Paul summarizes the Retreat, which took place in Bozeman, Montana. SHOW NOTES [13:22] Paul Introduces Kristin 238 days sober, Amy 11 years sober, Dave 12 days sober, and John with 18 and ½ years of sobriety. [15:55] Paul- What did you think the retreat was going to be like? Dave- I didn't have any set expectations. It has been sharing, but so much more. I have connected with every single person here. [16:50] Paul- What surprised you so far on this retreat? Kristin- I was surprised at how easy it was to talk to everybody here. I am not extremely comfortable around strangers. Since we have been in the online community the past year, it was easy to chat with everyone. Amy- I enjoyed the camaraderie. It is beautiful here. [27:30] Paul- Tell us what made you decide to come, and a little about your story? Kristin- My drinking career didn't start until 2001. I realized about 5 years ago that I had a problem, and tried to moderate. My bottom was New Years Eve. I have not lost any friends in sobriety. It's been a wonderful 8 months. Dave- I grew up in a household of Tea Totalers. I got into a high stress job with expense accounts. The "sick and tired of being sick and tired" resonated with me. There is a new chip on my shoulder. Amy- I started drinking when I was 13. I had the epiphany that this was the missing link. I didn't think there would be this much joy in sobriety. You can't love other people until you love yourself. Everything I wanted alcohol to give me, I got sober. John- My drinking career began in high school. My mom passed away when she was 47, many family members had alcohol related deaths. I became a daily drinker from college to 40 years old. January 5th of 1999 is when I got sober. My biggest breakthrough was writing a letter to my mother who had passed away. I stay sober due to the people in my community. This podcast episode was brought to you by Hello Fresh. For $30 off your first week of Hello Fresh visit hellofresh.com and use the promo code recoveryfresh30 Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Paul summarizes the article "America's Drinking Problem Is Much Worse This Century" by John Tozzi Alcohol abuse has shot up since 2001, and the number of adults who binge weekly may top the population of Texas. Americans are drinking more than they used to, a troubling trend with potentially dire implications for the country's future health-care costs. The number of adults who binge drink at least once a week could be as high as 30 million, greater than the population of every state save California, according to a study published on Wednesday in JAMA Psychiatry. A similar number reported alcohol abuse or dependency. Between the genders, women showed the larger increase in alcohol abuse, according to the report. Kristi, with nearly 9 months of sobriety since her last drink, shares her story. SHOW NOTES [7:09] Paul Introduces Kristi. I live in northern California near Stanford; I am 44, married and have 2 boys. I worked 25 years in software sales. I have been spending most of my time volunteering. [16:28] Paul- When did you start realize after your Mom passed away, that this might be going in the wrong direction? Kristi- Honestly, around 38-39 I started to realize I was drinking differently than I had in the past. I was working full time with 2 young kids, and I had to have 6-7-8 drinks at the end of the day. [20:23] Paul- What was your first AA meeting like? Kristi- I was so overwhelmed. It was 9:00 on a Saturday morning, and there were 300 people there. I realized that all meetings weren't this way. I jumped right in, started going to meetings, got a sponsor, and worked the steps. I was working on will alone. I don't think I realized the importance of a higher power, and letting go. I managed to stay sober for quite awhile. [28:43] Paul- You sound like you are a high bottom drunk, and have a lot more to lose, am I correct? Kristi- I didn't get the DUI, or drive my kids drunk. But I wasn't present. I can really sit and appreciate the moment now. I am feeling good; I have a skip in my step. When you live in gratitude, you can't live in fear and resentment. [32:07] Paul- What's on your bucket list in sobriety, what do you want to accomplish in this life? Kristi- I would like to learn Spanish. I would really like to write a book. [33:31] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? My husband and I went to San Francisco. I took a small bottle of vodka with me. I got so wasted at the party I don't remember conversations I had, and I woke up in the hallway. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Repeat times over and over again being drunk on a Tuesday for no reason. What's your plan moving forward? Live in the present, and being of service. What's your favorite resource in recovery? I really like the book "Living Sober" and the Recovery Elevator podcast. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? I don't have a problem I can't make worse by picking up a drink. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Do it, you will feel better. You will live in a more honest and peaceful world. Quit poisoning yourself. You might be an alcoholic if you are hosting a party, and drinking wine with the guests, and sneaking off to have shots of vodka by yourself. Resources mentioned in this episode: America's Drinking Problem is Much Worse This Century- By John Tozzi A.A. Literature Living Sober Recovery Elevator Retreat Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Self-Loathing is rampant in addiction, and it needs to be addressed and curtailed if we want to find long-term recovery. Self-trash talk is a double whammy when we judge ourselves harshly. We are both the attacker, and the attacked. Dr. Kristin Neff's book "Self Compassion" is summarized. Tori with 16 days since her last drink, shares her story. SHOW NOTES [9:25] Paul Introduces Tori. I am from Gainesville Florida; I have lived here since I was 10. I am 24 years old. I am a proud mom to a Chi Wawa named Tucker. I like to craft, and go to the springs. [14:39] Paul- What was the deciding factor to listen to the RE podcast, and contact the host? Tori- My DUI was my bottom, the way I portrayed myself to the officer in December of 2015. [18:35] Paul- I'm going to read one sentence from the email you sent to me. "I don't drink everyday, I don't have withdrawals, what I do have is the inability to control myself once I start drinking". Talk to me more about that. Tori- During the workweek I like to keep my head on straight. The culture in town is to drink, and to binge drink. I have been doing these bar tours since I was 17. [24:34] Paul- What has it been like these past 16 days? Tori- I have been preoccupied with work. I was moving for one of the weekends. The hardest day was when two of my best friends came over and brought wine. I didn't drink, and they didn't care. I haven't had that breakthrough of clarity yet. I kind of feel that I am in limbo. [32:58] Paul- To this point, what have you lost to alcohol? Tori- A lot of my dignity, you gain more dignity in sobriety. Other things I have lost are trust with my parents. I have lost my sense of safety. I was taken to the back seat of a car and taken advantage of. I was beaten up, and had a concussion; I lost a ton of money. [37:01] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? The DUI, it affected many more people than myself. The sexual assault was the worst, but I try not to associate drinking with that. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Every single time I do something dumb. Every time I lose a notch of my dignity. What's your plan moving forward? What I have been doing has been working. I like listening to the podcasts. Most of my friends probably all have a drinking problem. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Take it one day at a time; realize that you are better than your addiction. You might be an alcoholic if spend the night on a chair that is not yours in front of a house that you do not own or rent. Or if you choose to not take the advice of the people that care about you the most, and continue with your bad habits. Resources mentioned in this episode: Self-Compassion Dr. Kristin Neff Dr. Kristin Neff- CMSC website Recovery Elevator Retreat Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Paul summarizes a talk by Tara Brach named "Healing Addiction: De-Conditioning the Hungry Ghosts" Addiction is addiction, it doesn't matter what it is, it is applicable. Tara talks about the "hungry ghosts" of addiction. There is a sense that something is missing. A feeling that this moment does not contain enough happiness. How you live today is how you live the rest of your life. When we don't have basic needs met, we reach out for a substitute. We must find a way to love ourselves. Peri, with 81 days since her last drink, shares her story. SHOW NOTES [11:11] Paul Introduces Peri. I have been sober since May 8, 2016. I am a bartender, I live in Salt Lake City, Utah. I am a poet, and have been writing more in sobriety. [12:58] Paul- Describe your drinking habits, how much did you used to drink? Peri- I think by the end I was drinking 20-30 shots of whiskey a day, and 5 beers. I tried all types of rules with most of them meant to be broken. I think I started to derail when I was 17 years old. I knew by the time I was 21, I had a problem. [16:13] Paul- Talk to us about some of the things you have had to change? Peri- A big thing for me is friendships. Almost everyone I associated with drank like I did. I had to cut almost everyone out of my life. I had to start fresh like I knew no one in the city. [20:19] Paul- You quit smoking and drinking at the same time, tell us about that? Peri- I quit soda at the same time too. 5 aspirin and a large Coke used to get me through the hangovers. I had massive blood clots, so I had to quit both to avoid the health consequences. [25:11] Paul- What's on your bucket list in sobriety, what do you hope to accomplish? Peri- Some days it is One Day at a time, others it is the moon. I am saving up for a truck, I would like to travel more. I would like to get off my blood thinners. Healing my body would be a huge moment for me. [29:45] Paul- What do you do when you have the cravings? Peri- I eat a lot of ice cream. Either Pistachio, or Peanut butter ice cream, sometimes Raspberry. [35:27] Paul- How is it today? How are you on day 81? Peri- I feel really great, doing an interview right now. Meeting up with my friends, having some dinner. I legitimately haven't experienced a sober birthday in 10 years. I am looking forward to remembering it. I have been trying the meditation. I have been researching alcoholism. I have been pretty active in Café RE. Occasionally, I will go to AA, but only when I need an extra boost. [37:30] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? I don't know, there were a lot. I was hanging out with a shady group of people who had alcohol. I fell, and these people left me on a curb with a big gash on my head. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? My last job I got fired from, because I was taking shots of alcohol in the bathroom before my shift. What's your plan moving forward? I'm going to keep digging in; reading, writing, and it will all figure itself out. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Café RE. I listen to the podcasts, but the Facebook group is great to describe what I am feeling, and have the communication with the group. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Nothing worthwhile is ever easy. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Anything in your life that is a toxic influence, get rid of it. It is not conducive to your sobriety. You might be an alcoholic if you wake up on the sidewalk. Resources mentioned in this episode: Healing Addiction: De-Conditioning the Hungry Ghosts Recovery Elevator Retreat Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Paul summarizes the book "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron. How can we live our lives when everything seems to fall apart—when we are continually overcome by fear, anxiety, and pain? The answer, Pema Chödrön suggests, might be just the opposite of what you expect. Here, in her most beloved and acclaimed work, Pema shows that moving toward painful situations and becoming intimate with them can open up our hearts in ways we never before imagined. Drawing from traditional Buddhist wisdom, she offers life-changing tools for transforming suffering and negative patterns into habitual ease and boundless joy. Tyler, with 137 days since his last drink, shares his story SHOW NOTES [7:45] Paul Introduces Tyler. I'm 33, live in Austin, Texas. I am an editor for a national magazine, and I am an HIV pharmacy rep in Texas. I have 2 standard Poodles named Jones and Indy (Counting Crowes reference, not the movies). [12:57] Paul- When did you realize that maybe your drinking is not normal? Tyler- I started about 3 years ago evaluating my own behavior. I wanted to look into my own behaviors and recognize that I'm 33, and I am binge drinking 3 nights a week. I took a 30-day sober challenge, and then I was wasted on day 31. [17:06] Paul- Was it a question in your mind that you were getting worse? Tyler- I still question whether I was or not (having a problem with alcohol). Let's just go ahead and say I have a problem with it. My balance is none at all. If I weren't so exposed to alcoholism, it wouldn't have showed me what it could do to a person. [21:21] Paul- It sounds like you woke up one day and said "I have a drinking disorder." How did that feel when you reached that conclusion? Tyler- It was terrifying, I was going slowly in the process. I did go to an AA meeting my first month. It is a wonderful program, and I will never close my door to that program. It was organizing my thoughts around what I am, and what I'm not. [29:19] Paul- Walk us through a typical day for Tyler. Tyler- I am still figuring out how I do it. I went to a wedding in Mexico at a resort, which had, it struggles. I volunteer a whole bunch; I volunteer at an animal shelter, and at a local clinic. I do meditate quite a bit for 20-30 minutes a day. I am on a kickball team here in Austin. The hardest part about my journey is navigating my same social circles sober. [32:47] Paul- What have you learned most about yourself in recovery? Tyler- I'm honestly a very intense person. Alcohol used to water down my intensity. I have to find other ways of chilling out. [35:23] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? The memory that I lost. The worst memory is having zero memories. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? It boils down to that one last night. It turned into an all night party. What's your plan moving forward? To stay sober. We are getting married, and working on adoption. Talking about it publicly, and being an open book for others helps me keep my head on straight. What's your favorite resource in recovery? A Recovery podcast episode- RE 74: 50 Ways to Stay Sober This Summer. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Alcohol is literally shit, and why are you putting it in your body? What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? If you are thinking about getting sober, do it. Lean to the side that says you have a problem, don't run the other way. You might be an alcoholic if you wake up with a wig on, and you don't know how it happened. Resources mentioned in this episode: RE 74: 50 Ways to Stay Sober This Summer Gay, Fabulous, and Drinking Myself to Death "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron Recovery Elevator Retreat Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Paul comments on a video show on stopdrinkingexpert.com titled "Alcohol will kill you" If we can put "smoking kills" packaging of cigarettes, why can't we put similar labels on alcohol? This documentary takes place in the UK, but is contemporaneous throughout the globe. They found that 50% of the people tested had elevated liver values. The price of alcohol has become significantly cheaper than it was 30 or 40 years ago. Fear does not harness long term sustainable sobriety. www.stopdrinkingexpert.com [8:26] Paul introduces Randy with a sobriety date of 12/30/2016. I am 39 years old, with 4 kids aged 12, 10, 4, and 2. I am from Indianapolis, IN, and currently relocating to the Denver area. I am a restaurant manager who enjoys hiking, and spending time with my kids. Drinking wasn't really fun anymore. I found myself drinking alone by myself most of the time. [17:05] Paul- Would you classify yourself as a high bottom drunk? Randy- No one really believed that I was an alcoholic, even when I started going to AA, and getting into recovery. The older I am getting the hangovers became too difficult to deal with. People who aren't involved in recovery, have a difficult time understanding what we go through. [22:41] Paul- Is AA the main vein for how you got sober? Randy- I hit a streak of RE podcasts where AA wasn't mentioned at all and I remember being excited that I didn't have to go to any meetings to get sober. Then I heard a few RE episodes where people started to get traction with their sobriety had success with AA. I went to a few meetings before I found one I really liked and connected with the people there. I found a sponsor, and have been working the steps and making progress. [25:56] Paul- What was it like when you first quit drinking? Randy- I wasn't sleeping great initially. Sleep is amazing now. The second day without drinking I woke up at 6:00 am, and was binge listening to podcasts and working out. The first few days were rough for sure. Finding those activities and things to do that replace drinking are important. I joined the RE Facebook group within the first 2 weeks. [30:53] Paul- Walk us through a typical day in sobriety now. Randy- I am there for my kids more now. I like to spend time with my sponsor at least once a week. I always check in with the Café RE Facebook group. I am trying to eat a little better, and exercise more. I look forward to so many more things now, instead of trying to get everything accomplished so I can drink. [35:37] Paul- Has it been tough being in the restaurant business through sobriety? Randy- It has it's challenges, but hasn't been too bad. Seeing the hangovers on my servers faces keeps me grounded in my recovery, and reminds me of what I don't miss from drinking. [38:06] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? We went out with my little brother, and I tried to keep up with his friends. We did shots of Irish car bombs, I was so hungover the next day. We had to get up early and go to a "Fun Fair" at my daughters school. All the parents were happy and engaging, I didn't want to be there and just wanted to hide. Did you ever have an "oh shit" moment"? I remember coming home from work and finding only 8 beers in the fridge. I was angry because I knew that wasn't going to be enough. I had to go to the liquor store and get more before I could start drinking. What's your plan in sobriety? I want to keep moving forward in my sobriety. Meditation is on my list, and I want to continue doing what has worked for me so far. What's your favorite resource in recovery? "This Naked Mind" by Annie Grace What's the best advice you have received? Find what works for you. Talking to people who are sober have all sorts of different paths, but end up sober. What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners who are thinking of quitting drinking, or in early recovery? If you are thinking about getting sober, then let's do it! I haven't regretted a day of sobriety thus far. If my life doesn't improve, I can always go back to drinking. If I don't make changes now, I know I will regret them later. You might be an alcoholic if you still pack a cooler to take to parties, but now it is full of La Croix and other sparkling waters.

Paul breaks down and discusses the article: "The Spiritual Consequences of Alcohol Consumption" by Zahrah Sita Although it is mass produced, mass promoted, legal, and ingested by a multitude of people all over the world, most people don't ever consider or understand the spiritual consequences of drinking alcohol. Let's begin by taking a look at the etymology of the Word alcohol. Etymology means the root of the word… where it is derived from. The word "Alcohol" comes from the Arabic "al-kuhl" which means "BODY EATING SPIRIT", and gives root origins to the English term for "ghoul". In Middle Eastern folklore, a "ghoul" is an evil demon thought to eat human bodies, either as stolen corpses or as children. The words "alembic" and "alcohol", both metaphors for aqua vitae or "life water" and "spirit", often refer to a distilled liquid that came from magical explorations in Middle Eastern alchemy. Odette, with 7 days since her last drink, shares her story. [5:45] Paul Introduces Odette. I have been sober one week, so still riding the "Pink Cloud". I am from Guadalajara, Mexico and currently reside in San Diego California. I am 29 years old, I am married and have 2 kids, and I am a wellness and fitness coach. For fun I love going to the beach, cooking, and going to concerts. [8:00] Paul- Describe your drinking habits over the last 10 years, 5 years. Odette- I started only drinking on weekends. Then over time it turned into drinking everyday, and heavy drinking on the weekends. I noticed a natural progression of my drinking habits. [16:02] Paul- When was it you that decided you needed to quit drinking? Odette- It had been on my mind for months. I am a very optimistic person, and the past few months I was living from a place of fear. [19:23] Paul- What's it been like the past week? Odette- It's been hard. I have a 3 year old and an 8 month old. Being grounded helps me kick the urge. My number one assignment is to be a mother, a present mother. I really just enjoyed being a mom. Listening to podcasts every single day, exercise and self-care. One day at a time. [22:40] Paul- Have you ever had a rock bottom moment in regards to alcohol? Odette- The morning after the Super bowl. I spoke with my dad about not drinking anymore. Pay attention to your own compass. People perceive you differently than you are. [29:14] Paul- What advice can you give to someone struggling to recognize his or her own addiction struggles? Odette- I think the best advice I can give is I wish I would have known two concepts. If you know your why, it will help you surrender quicker. Write out your vision. [33:18] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? That event we talked about, the Super bowl where I didn't spend a moment looking at the screen. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? I don't think I had a clear moment; I was tired of listening to the little voice telling me it was time. What's your plan moving forward? Accountability for sure. I love listening to personal development. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Melody Beattie's book: "The Language of Letting Go". I love the Recovery Elevator podcast, and Café RE. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? You can't do it alone. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Own your truth, own your story. Do an inventory on yourself. It will help you to surrender. You might be an alcoholic if you start creating rules for yourself around drinking. Also if you have any parents that have struggled with addiction. Resources mentioned in this episode: http-//educateinspirecha#4A112C https://www.eckharttolle.com/books/newearth/ https://www.facebook.com/search/top/?q=the%20harmony%20tribe http://melodybeattie.com/books/language-letting-go-hazelden-meditation-series/ Recovery Elevator Retreat Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Rule Number One of podcasting is plug in the microphone. Pete, with 488 days of sobriety shares his story. SHOW NOTES [2:19] Paul Introduces Pete. I am 38 years old, and golfing is my favorite leisure activity. I have an 8-year-old daughter and a 2-year-old son. I am in construction sales, mostly traveling around Ohio and surrounding states. [6:07] Paul- When did you realize you had a problem with alcohol Pete? Pete- I've always known, or at least had the fear of having a problem. I could drink a case of beer by myself in High school. [12:23] Paul- Was this a bottom you experienced, or where you done? Pete- I hit a spiritual bottom. Things that were important, no longer seemed important. My wife, great job, and truck were all things that weren't making me happy. I realized that doing these things that I was taught would make me happy weren't. I was bankrupt spiritually and emotionally. My wife opened the work bench, and the drawer was full of empty and full booze bottles. They were devastated. I realized that suicide wasn't' an option. That was the moment that made me change everything. [17:25] Paul- What was the outpatient therapy like? Walk us through that. Pete- I went to a state certified program. I attended with several other professionals who learned a great deal about addiction and recovery. [24:44] Paul- What have you learned most about yourself these past 488 days? Pete- I have learned that I like peace, calm, and serenity. I accepted chaos because that is what I knew. My life is really good, but I made it really bad by a lot of choices that I made. [28:18] Paul- Have you had cravings, and how do you overcome cravings them? Pete- My cravings as of today are more "I would like a drink" but more thoughts than cravings. In the beginning I had physical cravings. I don't have the impulse to drink now. Alcohol was the medicine that fixed everything for me. [30:25] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? The experience with my wife and daughter not being able to ride bikes because of my booze hidden in the drawer. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? For me it was when my mother in law died from alcoholism, in the nursing home my biggest thought was how do I get out of here and have a drink without anyone noticing. What's your plan moving forward? Continue to present in the moment, and doing, not thinking about things I don't do, and then regretting them. I just need to do the best I can. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Meditation and Prayer. I've used the Headspace app, there is a meditation guru that lives in our village. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Follow direction. Putting faith in a blind process. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? You are feeling the way you are supposed to be feeling at that time. Talk to other people. My feelings are normal; it's okay to relearn. You might be an alcoholic if when you walk out of your recovery center, and you see one of your friends that you've been partying with forever and he says "Hey Pete, I was surprised to see you here." Then I thought about it, and It's really not much of a surprise to see you here. Resources mentioned in this episode: Recovery Elevator Retreat Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

"The most effective way to do it, is to do it." - Amelia Earhart Paul discusses his difficulties in quitting smoking, and it's parallels to quitting drinking. Alcohol is not your friend. Stop drinking cold turkey, and don't try to a taper off strategy. Rip the Band-Aid off. Get rid of the booze from your house. At this moment, you are not stronger than your addiction. One day at a time. Thinking must be flipped. Quitting drinking is an opportunity to get your life back, not a sacrifice. Write down a list of pros and cons from quitting drinking. Don't worry about your weight initially. Get through sobriety first. Schedule personal time for exercise. Life happens, and we need to build up our coping skills muscles without alcohol. Accountability is the underlying theme of this entire podcast. Celebrate the milestones, and be happy with your progress. Leah, with 19 days since her last drink, shares her story. SHOW NOTES [11:20] Paul Introduces Leah. My last drink was June 3rd, so my sobriety date is June 4th. I am 34; I have been married since 2010. I have a 6-year-old daughter, and a 2-year-old son. I'm not really sure what I do for fun; I'm still figuring that out. [13:01] Paul- When did you realize that perhaps you had a drinking problem? Leah- I grew up with drinkers. My dad will still get wasted and he is in his 70's. I would watch him pass out at the table at 7:00, and that was normal. It really hit home over the past few years. I would go to bed drunk, and wake up foggy and disconnected from everybody. I didn't drink to relax; I drank to feel normal again. [17:35] Paul- With 19 days of sobriety have you noticed an uptick of being mindful and present in the moment? Leah- Absolutely. I want to give a spin on my story as a mom. It is hard to have moms admit that they are an alcoholic. As a mom, I would watch other moms accomplish so many tasks, and didn't know when they had time to drink. Now I have all this energy to do things. I took my 2-year-old running. [20:28] Paul- 19 days ago was something building up? Was there a rock bottom moment? Leah- I didn't want to quit drinking. I wanted to change my life to accommodate drinking. For the past 2 years we have had some family issues. I am not the person I wanted to be, and it started to impact my happiness. [27:58] Paul- What was it like the first 24, 48,72 hours? Leah- I had thought over the past year that I wasn't physically addicted. I had a habit, and I had to create a new habit. Now I drink coffee when I get home instead of wine. [35:08] Paul- If you had an open schedule, would you go to an AA meeting? Leah- Yes. I am skeptical, but I have gotten to the point where I realized you can get something valuable from whatever is out there. You can make anything work for you if you have that desire. [39:17] Paul- What's on your bucket list in sobriety? What do you want to accomplish with this new life. Leah- Be present, be engaged, and mindful. Get fit, and spend quality time with my family. I would like to wake up earlier, and center myself. Checking in with like-minded people will be important. I would like to add meetings to my resources. [42:55] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? There was one night where I thought I was losing my mind. Screaming matches with my husband. I was losing the grip on reality. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Waking up with my hands shaking. The times I would stop to get a "juice box" on my way to pick up the kids. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Recovery Elevator podcast. Something to hold onto when you need it. Something you can grab when you need a reminder. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Writing a goodbye letter to alcohol. My relationship with alcohol is over. It's time to break up. If I need to go back, alcohol will be there. I don't want to go back. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? If you're thinking about quitting, it's probably something you need to do. You'll get there on your own time if need be. You might be an alcoholic if the running joke is you fall asleep on the toilet multiple times. Resources mentioned in this episode Thanks to Kathy Von Lintel for doing the show notes the past 6 months! Recovery Elevator Retreat Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Paul discusses the webinar, which took place in Café Re, and focused on why taking action is so hard. It's much better to focus on the action and not the results. We are definitely in a results oriented society. Focus on the journey and not the destination. Success can follow a flawed effort, and failure can follow a flawless effort. If your happiness is predicated on your success, and if your success is predicated on a specific outcome, then you are setting yourself up for a high likelihood of frustration and disappointment. If you instead let go the need for any particular outcome, you increase your chances for success and contentment. View each attempt as practice for the next attempt. Dawn with a sobriety date of November 27th 2016, shares her story. SHOW NOTES [8:09] Paul Introduces Dawn. I'm single, 42, and I'm from Poole in the U.K. In the daytime I work in accounts, in the evening I'm generally working on my blog. I love going out to dinner with friends, and walking to work. Set myself a challenge to do 10,000 steps a day. [10:10] Paul- Tell us more about this experiment to live you life without alcohol. Dawn- The plan was to give up alcohol for a year. I was struck down with flu, and I gave up alcohol then, instead of waiting until the New Year. I decided to write down my journey, and document it on my blog. It's been filled with positivity. [13:35] Paul- The way I've made it this far in sobriety, and been successful, is that I looking at it as an opportunity instead of a sacrifice. Is that something that you are experiencing as well? You're looking at this as an opportunity instead of a sacrifice? Dawn- Yeah, definitely. I don't think I realized how unhappy I was drinking. I was more of a binge drinker than a drink everyday, drink in the morning type person. My weekend would be properly drinking from Friday through Sunday. Drinking copious amounts of alcohol to the point that I was sick the next day. I don't see that as a sacrifice, giving that up that kind of mentality, since it was so much binging and purging. [14:53] Paul- When did you first realize that perhaps that you wanted to quit drinking? Was it something that happened? Dawn- I was conscience that I was drinking too much in one sitting, not remembering how I got home, kind of dangerous drinking really. If I drove somewhere I would have nothing, instead of a single glass of wine. Because if I had one, it wouldn't stay at one. Once I started, it was difficult to stop. [18:06] Paul- Can you tell me about a time when you started drinking and you found the "off switch" a little difficult to find? Was that progressive for you? Did it become harder and harder to stop? Dawn- Yeah, I was born without an "off switch". The first time I really remember getting drunk I was probably about 15 or 16. Early twenties living with friends, drinking was a massive part of our lives together. The men that I met were a massive part of that as well. It didn't spiral rapidly. [22:16] Paul- How are you staying sober now? Dawn- It's a matter of changing everything. I thought life would carry on the same. Everything has changed. I write a post for my blog at least once a week. Trying to keep other people encouraged to carry on. I used to always have a special drink as a reward for hard work. I no longer do that. I have a drink when I am thirsty. [26:31] Paul- There's a quote in recovery- You don't have to change much, you just gotta change everything. Is that how it went down for you? Dawn- I still struggle with the social side of things. I was the party animal. It's difficult to go from that to- it's dark and I've got to get home. I find it hard to socialize without alcohol. I'm not good with big crowds. I've come to terms that I won't be that person again. [28:40] Paul- What have you learned most about yourself in these past 6 months of sobriety? Dawn- I've never really believed in loving yourself. Now I keep saying to people you have to love yourself. I haven't loved myself for 40 years. I realized I'm not the person I thought I was. In my previous job I wasn't really helping people and I didn't think I could. It's being confident in myself, rather than what other people think. [31:31] Paul- How do you feel about alcohol being an addictive substance, and perhaps there is no void? Dawn- For me, the feeling is what was addictive. I was the crier. Alcohol gave me an emotional release. For me it gave me an emotional release, woe is me! For a window of 15 minutes I would feel amazing, then I would go over the top. Then you're miserable. I think really it was the way it made me feel for 15 minutes before the crying would start. [33:27] Paul- What are your goals in sobriety? Dawn- I've always wanted to go to Thailand. Stop waiting around for something to happen. I was too tired, and lazy, and in bed. Now I'm full of energy, and I'm going to make it happen on my own in January. [35:18] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Getting home, and waking up

Garrett, with 16 days since his last drink, shares his story SHOW NOTES [ 9:15 ] Paul Introduces Garrett. I've had stretches of sobriety, I had 14 months, and I've had 3 years. I live in Southern California, in Santa Clarita. I work in outside sales, which is a non-structured job perfect for an alcoholic with hangovers. I'm 43, married, like going to Dodger Games. I have 2 kids, 1 in high school, and one in junior high. [10:45] Paul- What was the impotence behind you quitting alcohol for 3 years, and then for 14 months? Garrett- The hangovers for me are the body's way of saying you've put a bunch of poison willingly in your body, and this is the result of it. I would be laid out for a full day. Thinking in the moment there is no possible way this could happen again. The feeling in my stomach, I can't move, or get out of the bed until 4:00 or 5:00 in the evening. One of those times I stopped for 3 years, didn't go to any program. I lost weight, and started drinking again without any reason. I would romanticize drinking, and once I got the buzz, there was no way I could stop now. I would have to drink to continue with only a short window of feeling good. The cost of that was being completely laid out the entire next day. [13:35] Paul- What was it like when you first drank after 3 years? Do you remember the first night? Did you pick up right where you left off? Garrett- No, not really. It was a gradual thing, a slow buildup. My elevator is kind of chaotic; it's like the elevator at the tower of terror at Disney world. At that point it was gradual. I would wait for people to go to sleep, get a six-pack, and when that was gone, drunk drive to the liquor store and buy some more. I would start with a bottle of wine, then I would go back to the store for tall boys. I don't know how many I would buy, but I would wake out, the room would start completely shaking, I would close my eyes, and that would be it. [15:45] Paul- Garrett you mentioned a word earlier that I would like to explore- Fascinating. You would tell yourself I'm only having a couple, but then just game on. Can you tell me more about that fascinating part for you? Garrett- It was complete and total amnesia every single time. Forgetting the hangovers. The amount of times I would lose not doing the things I wanted to do because I would be hung-over. Because I'm not a bum in the street, I didn't feel I was a true alcoholic. [19:30] Paul- Was there a rock bottom moment 16 days ago? How come you quit drinking? Garrett- It wasn't a single rock bottom. I have season tickets for the Dodgers. If there was ever a sport made for sitting and drinking beer it is baseball. The beer vendor at the stadium recognized me; I would have to go different vendors because I was embarrassed. The drunk driving home from the games, then going to bars, then drunk driving home again. I dented the garage with my car, and realized with a moment of clarity that this sh#t has got to stop. [22: 01] Paul- Before I hit the record button you mentioned you felt like you were ping ponging back and forth between: Am I an alcoholic? Do I have a drinking problem? Tell us more about that. Garrett- It was a stretch of a few days where I would just continually have a few days (of sobriety), and then I would be like "I'm not" because I would have a few days and that proves it. The hangover goes away and I would think I'm not (an alcoholic) again. [ 24:00] Paul- Is it harder this time around, do you remember? Garrett- This time I've got 16 days. I'm trying to arm myself with some resources. I'm in a Pink Cloud at the moment. History does repeat itself, and I have a plan to address what I know is going to start coming down the road. The key thing is accountability. I never had accountability with another person. I think if I were not anonymous, I wouldn't have taken that first drink on the New Port Harbor cruise after 14 months of sobriety. [27:57] Paul- You mentioned you had a bad experience with AA, tell me more about that. Garrett- I was raised Christian evangelical, about 10 years ago I broke with that, and I am an atheist now. I saw a lot of the judgment, dogma and there was trust that was broken in AA. That combined with the God thing I'm still wrestling with. I need to focus on the positive. I'm ready to explore going back to AA, maybe a different meeting time. [30:14] Paul- With 16 days of sobriety, what have you learned most about yourself? Garrett- This time around is more of a sense of inner peace. What I'm realizing now is that I don't have to keep living the way I was living. There's no reason I have to pick up a drink again. My life does not have to be how it's been. I'm choosing not to drink. When cravings strike, I've been setting a timer on my apple watch to allow the 20 minutes to pass. [34:10] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Waking up and having to tell my wife that I was too hung-over to go down to my mom's house for Easter. Then spending the entire day

Mary, with 3 years since her last drink, shares her story…. We all think that the cities we live in should be on the "Nations Drunkest Cities" list. The state of Wisconsin wins the prize for the largest number of cities on this list. Listed below are a few of the favorites: Greenbay, WI O'Clair, WI Appleton, WI Fargo, ND Missoula, MT Iowa City, IA Lincoln, NE Milwaukee, WI SHOW NOTES [6:31] Paul Introduces Mary Mary – I am 3 years sober, live in Louisiana and am married with 5 children. I like to run and bike and am currently raising puppies. I am a college student and am enjoying getting to know my new sober self. [9:32] Mary tells the story of her younger 13 year old self Mary – I was 13 years old and baby-sitting an infant. I invited some friends over and we started drinking. I left the baby in her crib and we drove around. I backed the car into a ditch and hit a palm tree. The police ended up bringing me home. [12:23] Mary describes her drinking habits Mary – I was a daily beer drinker and would try to abide by my rules of not drinking before 5 pm. This never worked. At night, if I couldn't sleep, I would have a drink. If I woke up later in the night, I would have another drink. Pretty soon my window of "not drinking" had shrunk. [14:00] Did you see any signs that you had a problem? Mary – If I went out, I would immediately have to have a drink and was always looking for the next one. I would start my night with some drinks at home. In my 20's and 30's, I surrounded myself with other drinkers so it seemed normal. My drinking really took off in my 40's. I started noticing I had a problem more when I became a mom. [17:21] What was the progression like into alcoholism? Mary – 1 drink was never enough. I started focusing more on when I could have a drink. Alcohol helped me cope with life. I hated myself. [18:03] Tell me about this self- loathing Mary – I used to think "this is as good as it gets?" I had accepted that my life was going to suck. [18:45] Did you have a bottom? Mary – I had grown sick and tired of drinking. My family called me out as being drunk when I was slurring my speech. A close friend of mine went to rehab. I stopped drinking in order to support him. As each day passed, I could not believe that I was still not drinking. I went to Al-Anon in order to further support my friend. [21:05] How did you do it? Mary – I kept going to Al-Anon. When I visited my friend, he took me to a meeting. As I sat there listening, I realized I wanted what they had. I worked the 12 steps. My life has changed to being joyous and free. It is freeing not having any more secrets. [24:00] Paul and Mary talk about being sober emotionally Mary – It felt good to get rid of all of my secrets. I listened to other people in the program and did what they said. I wanted to be happy and try to remain teachable. [27:23] Describe a day in your life Mary – I pray every morning and evening. I also meditate (U-Tube 11th step guided meditation). I reach out regularly to friends in the program. I listen to AA recordings (Joe and Charlie AA tapes), read The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. [30:00] What is on your bucket list? Mary – Continue to share my story, bring hope to others, and be of service to others. [31:21] What have you learned the most? Mary – That I am OK just the way that I am. I am trying to have a good life and do the best I can. [31:57] What are your thoughts on relapse? Mary – For some people, it is an important part of their recovery. I try to accept just this 1 day that I have and not "future trip." Relapse can be an important learning tool in recovery. [33:00 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? leaving that sleeping baby alone when I was 13 and driving around while drinking Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? at my daughter's 16th birthday party, I was too drunk to drive but did anyway. I hit the curb and flattened my tire. What's your plan moving forward? keep going to meetings, keep breaking the stigma What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? keep falling forward, everywhere I go, there I am. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Continue to move forward, talk about it, give voice to your pain You might be an alcoholic if… you take the computer test "Are you and alcoholic," and focus on your No answers. Resources mentioned in this episode: Recovery Elevator Retreat Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android www.southerrunningmom.wordpress.com bmjopen.bmj.com (article on how women millennials are catching up to men in their alcoholism) Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Becky, with 10 months since her last drink, shares her story………… What I learned after spending the weekend with 12 other people at a lake house: People did not care that I was not drinking People were appreciative to have a designated driver Drunk people have the memory of a goldfish Hangovers still suck Noticed potential problem drinkers Everyone overshot their mark Alcohol makes you act like an ass The yawn game sucks Snap Chat only exists because of drunk people Sober check ins are a good idea You can do sober weekends SHOW NOTES [11:30] Paul Introduces Becky. Becky – I have been sober for 10 months and live in Indiana. I work in the HR industry, am married and have 2 children. I like to garden and cook. [13:00] Tell me about hearing your friend Lisa on the RE podcast. Becky – I was starting to listen to a variety of podcasts on sobriety and heard Lisa's story. I reached out to her via face book and she talked me through the process of AA. I was able to ask her questions. Something was guiding me. [18:00] When did you realize you had a problem? Becky – I was a binge drinker in high school but my drinking tapered off during my first marriage. I soon fell into having a glass of wine every night as a reward. I suffered from a major episode of depression and my therapist suggested I stop drinking. After the depression lifted, I continued drinking 1-2 bottles a night. I tried moderating but could not stop. I felt miserable inside. [20:30] Tell me about your "yets". Becky – I would stumble around parking lots and pass out on the sidewalk. Anything could have happened. I would usually drink after a long day at work. I knew my mother was an alcoholic but I had so much shame that I could not stop. I suffered from black outs and self- loathing. [24:21] How did you get sober? Becky – I spoke with Lisa and told my husband. During the first week, I went to meetings. The first 30 days were tough both physically and mentally. Shortly after 30 days, I started to feel better. [27:16] How was your patience during the first 30 days? Becky – I was anxious and very short on patience during the first 30 days. The more I fought the craving, the worse it got. I allowed the craving to wash over me instead of fighting it. I was able to take a step back and just look at it. [29:00] Paul and Becky talk about her hesitation with AA because of God Becky – I was probably an agnostic before AA. I did not know how I was going to bring God into my life. But there were too many coincidences. There had to be a type of HP intervening. I just know that I could not do this by myself. Some people choose G.O.D. (group of drunks) [31:49] How important is it for you to be surrounded by others in recovery? Becky – I could not have gotten sober without my local meetings. I stay active in on-line support groups. It is critical for me to be able to connect with others. [33:41] Describe a day in your life Becky – I meditate every day and journal. I try and stay balanced between exercise and work. I have also created my own blog for personal accountability (www.my2point0project.com). [36:26] What have you learned the most about yourself? Becky – I am more of a type "A" personality than I thought. I want things done a certain way and have to learn to let that go. [37:47] What is on your bucket list in sobriety? Becky – I want to continue to wake up feeling good and strong. I want to help others find jobs and help schedule interviews for them. [38:45] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? not being sober when my father passed away Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? my decline was more slow and pervasive What's your plan moving forward? go to bed sober tonight What's your favorite resource in recovery? SHAIR and Rich Roll podcasts, book "Being Sober" by Harry Haroutunian What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? I drink but we don't What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? reach out, this is not a weakness You might be an alcoholic if…..you schedule your grocery shopping experience to not happen on Sundays – (because your state is dry on Sundays) Resources mentioned in this episode: Recovery Elevator Retreat Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] www.my2point0project.com Book – Being Sober, author Harry Haroutunian "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Dan, with 27 years since his last drink, shares his story…… The new Café RE Blue has been launched. This face book group will cap @ 200. If you would like to join, go to www.recoveryelevator.com. Enter the promo code 1month to get the first month for free. Getting sober can be confusing. 14 medical schools only offer 1 class on addiction so it is no wonder doctors do not always "get it." Just how do we navigate sobriety? Since alcohol is legal and we are bombarded by an estimated 50 alcohol related ads a day, the path is not always clear. We often think we are cured after having some consecutive days of sobriety but achieving emotional sobriety is where the real work happens. The main point to remember is that recovery can take different paths. What works for one may not work for another. Since this disease tells us that we do not have a disease, we have to be ever mindful of that inner voice and realize that we do not have to have all of the answers. Help is available, but you have to ask. SHOW NOTES [9:27] Paul Introduces Dan Dan – I have been sober for 27 years and am from New Hampshire. I am a professional skier, film producer and love most things outdoors. [12:06] When did you realize that you had a problem? Dan – I was always a partier. During high school, I was a daily pot smoker and weekend binge drinker. I always wanted to be around people who were drinking. I had this mental obsession with booze and drinking was a part of my life. [15:23] Did your drinking progress faster as you continued using? Dan – I was introduced to cocaine in the 8th grade. My tolerance progressed and drinking and driving was just normal for me. [17:11] Were you always chasing those euphoric feelings? Dan – I was always chasing the rush of the party. We would throw huge parties any time that we could. [18:00] Did you have a rock bottom? Dan – We got kicked off of a booze cruise after only 45 minutes. I told everyone I was going to stop using but instead I hid it. One of my friend's mothers was in AA and she could tell that I was not comfortable in my own skin. I went to a meeting and first learned of the term "stinkin thinkin" [22:35] What finally worked? Dan – I was involved in a tragic storm accident in Russia that resulting in people losing their lives. There was a lot of fallout from this accident. Anger built up within me and soon I started drinking and using again. I reached out to my friend's mother and she got me into an outpatient center. I also got into therapy and started going to more meetings. I traveled for my job and got sober going to meetings all over the world. [29:18] What is your day like? Dan – I am involved in a large sober community. My Catholic faith continues to grow stronger and helps me every day. I go to 2-4 meetings a month and like to read spiritual readings. [31:14] What do you value most in recovery? Dan – my relationships with God, family and friends [32:00] What advice would you give to someone who is resistant to AA because of God? Dan – you can attend AA without believing in God. The more you attend the meetings, a light will begin to shine. You will start to find peace and contentment within the AA program. It is a program built on faith and love. [34:06] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? totaling my mother's car on Mother's Day What's your plan moving forward? living a full life and not tying myself down with negativity What's your favorite resource in recovery? people What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? alcohol is a time bomb just waiting to go off You might be an alcoholic if…….every time you are in trouble, you've been drinking Resources mentioned in this episode: Recovery Elevator Retreat Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Jason, with 4 years since his last drink, shares his story……………. Sign up now, there are only 3 spots left for the RE Retreat in Bozeman, MT (www.recoveryelevator.com) Paul reviews the GQ interview with Brad Pitt. Pitt states that he was boozing too much and learned that either you deny your feelings and stay where you are or you feel the feelings and evolve. He did not want to live that way anymore. Pitt is learning to accept the things about himself that he does not like. SHOW NOTES [9:13] Paul Introduces Jason Jason – I have been sober for 4 years and live in Big Sky, MT. I am a firefighter/paramedic and enjoy outdoor activities. [11:10] How did you meet your wife? Jason – I had walked into a bar in the middle of a scuffle. My "soon to be" wife was on the ground and bleeding from her head. I felt the need to come to her rescue. We have been married for 9 years now. [13:45] When did you realize that you had a problem? Jason – I did not know I had a problem because all of my family were heavy drinkers. One night I went out with friends and drank very heavily and then drove home. The next morning I had the worst hangover of my life. I really thought I was having a medical emergency, I felt so bad. [16:46] What were your drinking habits like? Jason – For the last 10 years, I would get off of work and start drinking. I would spend the last 2 days of my days off sobering up. We had lots of house parties where there was plenty of drinking. My wife and I would also take yearly sailing excursions. They would turn into 2 weeks of binge drinking. [19:48] How did you get sober? Jason – I reached out to a family friend who has been sober for 42 years. At first I did not want to go any meetings but I had wanted my wife to stop drinking so we both ended up going to a meeting. The meeting was a total mix of people and completely changed my life. [23:59] How do you remain sober? Jason – I go to AA meetings. In early sobriety, I would just show up at meetings and listen. Currently, I stay very involved with my sober community. I also send out daily recovery related e-mails. It helps me stay accountable. If anyone else would like to be added to this e-mail list, send Jason and e-mail ([email protected]) [29:52] Paul and Jason discuss being a grateful alcoholic Jason – I have learned to be grateful and humble. The program has allowed me to change. It has been a journey through self-restoration. [31:51] Paul and Jason discuss Sober Scuba Sailing Tours Jason – My wife and I thought it would be a great idea to offer sober sailing excursions. We are organizing a trip in June. For more information on future trips, go to www.sailingscubaadventures.com and send Jason a message. [39:42] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? that horrible hangover that made me feel like I was having a medical emergency Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? when my hangovers would last for days What's your favorite resource in recovery? the Big Book, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Tony Robbins "I'm Not Your Guru" What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? make your bed every morning, the miracle will happen You might be an alcoholic if…..you see a half full cocktail and think, "Now that's alcohol abuse;" then you finish it yourself Resources mentioned in this episode: Recovery Elevator Retreat Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Jason's e-mail = [email protected] www.sailingscubaadventures.com Tony Robbins – I am Not Your Guru (available on DVD and Netflix) Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] Hold on tight as we follow Paul's journey coming off his anti-depression meds. Good luck Paul! "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Kari, with 4 years since her last drink, shares her story………………. Café RE is now on a waitlist to join. Once the list gets to approximately 30-40 people, another group will be formed. To be placed on the waitlist, go to www.recoveryelevator.com and click on the Café RE tab at the top of the page. Enter the promo code RE1month to join. Paul reviews the video "The 13th Step." The 13th step (where new comers are "preyed" upon by others in AA) is joked about in and out of the rooms. The fact is that courts are ordering violent sexual predators to AA for a plea deal. AA should not be a punishment but 40-60% of its attendees are court ordered. This movie depicts AA in a negative light. Sure, there are flaws with AA. Every program has negative aspects and positive aspects. I personally dislike movies that bash any recovery program. SHOW NOTES [ 8:39 ] Paul Introduces Kari Kari – I am 4 years sober and live in Montana. I am married and enjoy skiing, hiking, biking and running. [11:42] What were your drinking habits like? Kari – I drank through high school but it really ramped up after college. I was a binge and social drinker but would drink until I blacked out. I would often try and regulate my drinking and could do this for a little while. I would track my drinks on a calendar but was miserable when I tried to moderate. [22:00] Did you have a bottom? Kari – After my college boyfriend committed suicide, I just didn't care to keep my drinking in check. Another bottom was when I locked myself out of my truck after a concert. My husband had to come and get me. He was very angry and I came to the realization that my life and marriage would not continue if I was still drinking. [29:17] How did you get sober? Kari – I reached out to some friends who were in AA and attended my first meeting. I immediately knew that I belonged. I saw hope in these meetings and a light at the end of the tunnel. [36:00] Describe what your day is like. Kari – Every morning I do some type of reading about recovery (Today's a Gift, Each Day a New Beginning). I enjoy the beauty around me and it helps keep me grounded. I say thank you every night. [39:30] Paul and Kari discuss her recent sailing trip Kari – Both my husband and I were nervous that we wouldn't have fun. We still enjoyed our fruit drinks without alcohol and kept up our tradition of drinking during the sunsets. I was able to remember the entire sailing trip. [42:40] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? when I was in college and went up to the rooftop thinking it would be a good idea to jump Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? when I realized I couldn't control my drinking What's your plan moving forward? sharing my story as often as possible What's your favorite resource in recovery? AA What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? there is nothing that says that you have to figure this all out on your own What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? no matter how bad you feel, you can turn your life around You might be an alcoholic if….you order 2 drinks and slide the first one to the side because it's the first one that gets you Resources mentioned in this episode: Recovery Elevator Retreat Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Steph, with 6 months since her last drink, shares her story Café RE is now on a waitlist to join. Once the list gets to approximately 30-40 people, another group will be formed. To be placed on the waitlist, go to www.recoveryelevator.com and click on the Café RE tab at the top of the page. Enter the promo code RE1month to join. It is often said that our HP will not give us more than we can handle. For the last 8-10 months, Paul has been suffering from depression. Around this time, he received a link from his brother about the black dog aka depression (www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiCrniLQGYc). God shout out? The video basically describes how depression creeps up on you whenever it wants to. It is very exhausting trying to keep the symptoms of depression hidden from others. Depression is like losing all of the joy in your life. Your addiction can start talking to you and may say that 1 drink may help. But this is only temporary. Drinking will not help! SHOW NOTES [9:00] Paul Introduces Steph. Steph – I am 6 months sober and feeling great! I am 46 years old, married and have 2 daughters. I currently live in Canada and enjoy cooking and gardening. [9:25] When did you first realize that you had a problem? Steph – I have known that I had a drinking problem for the last 25 years. I would drink and drive, blackout, etc. and went to a few AA meetings in my early 20's. I was sober for 3 years. I do not think that I was ready to give it up entirely yet and started drinking again. My drinking started out slow but steadily got worse. I worked in bars and surrounded myself with other drinkers. After I had my children, I tried to moderate but would still drink to get through the stress of parenting. [15:53] What was it like to start drinking again after taking some time off? Steph – After my pregnancies, my drinking very rapidly increased. I reached a point where I was physically addicted and had to drink to keep the symptoms of withdrawal away. If I did not drink, I would get severe anxiety. [18:35] Did you have a rock bottom moment? Steph – I tried to quit cold turkey and ended up in the hospital. My children saw me being put into an ambulance. 1 week later, I was drinking again. I felt like I had severely damaged my brain chemistry with all of the alcohol and I could not sleep without sleeping pills. I eventually felt suicidal. [20:45] How did you get sober 6 months ago? Steph – I had to start tapering off because I was so physically addicted. My husband helped me by locking up all of the alcohol and only giving me limited amounts each day. I slowly decreased the amount of vodka over 10-12 days. I really wanted to get sober so I did not drive to any liquor stores myself. [27:22 ] What did you do after those 10-12 days went by? Steph – I took Kevin O'Hara's "How to Quit Drinking" course. I would also start my day with recovery books and podcasts. I also got very involved with an on-line community. [29:00] How has your physical and emotional state evolved since quitting drinking? Steph – I was on an emotional rollercoaster in the beginning. Now, I have learned to respond rather than react to things. [29:41] Paul and Steph talk about her U-Tube videos and blog. Steph – my blog can be found at https://bestirredblog.wordpress.com. Another friend in recovery and I started doing video blogs which can be found on U-Tube, called The Way Back. I also do group skypes with other people in recovery. [31:20] What have you learned the most? Steph – I am a lot stronger than I thought. [31:45] What is on your bucket list in sobriety? Steph – I would like to help other people get sober. [32:37] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? all of the non-memories Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? when I tried to stop drinking and couldn't What's your plan moving forward? helping others What's your favorite resource in recovery? A Facebook group called "Onwards and Upwards" What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? get out of your comfort zone What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? put the same amount of time and energy into your recovery, that you put into your drinking If you decide to start a family with hope that it will help you moderate your drinking, you just might be an alcoholic. Resources mentioned in this episode: Recovery Elevator Retreat Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Ashley, with 16 days since her last drink, shares her story….. Do not forget the AALRM race in Bozeman MT, on 5/20. This supports recovery. You can also sign up to do a virtual run at www.recoveryelevator.com\run. Enter promo code "recovery" for a discount. The Café RE private face book group will be capped at 300 members. If you would like to join the original group, now is the time to sign up. Go to www.recoveryelevator.com and enter the promo code RE1 to get your first month free. Alcohol does not make us more intelligent. We all know that drinking and drinking is not good. When we start drinking, our mind starts to shift and suddenly is seems like a good idea. We only have a short distance to drive, right? The statistics show that we drink and drive 76 times before getting caught. Drinking also causes us to say and do stupid things, like trying to coax a poodle to run across 5 lanes of traffic, or shout out that a girl had a funky looking toe at a bar. It you would like to send an e-mail with the most unintelligent thing you have ever done while drinking, drop a line to [email protected]. SHOW NOTES [11:22] Paul Introduces Ashley. Ashley – I have been sober for 16 days and feel more focused this time. I am from Iowa, 32 years old and have 3 sons. I am trying to find new sober hobbies. [13:11] When did you first notice that you had a problem? Ashley – I started drinking at the age of 12. I would party with older people. I was sneaking booze at the age of 14 and my family sent me away to a home. By the time, I was 21, I had 3 children and 2 DUI's. I still did not think that I had a problem. I later lost my license for 5 years. I was home alone, couldn't drive and my drinking really took off. [16:11] Was it hard getting sober at such a young age? Ashley – It has been really hard since everyone I know drinks. I am trying to distance myself from my drinker friends and find sober friends. [17:47] You were sober before. What happened to cause you to drink again? Ashley – I was doing a cleanse to try and lose some weight. But then a concert came around and I drank there. I stopped for a few weeks but went to a funeral where everyone was drinking. I ended up doing a shot and it was game on from there. I drank for 6 days straight after that. I just couldn't say no whenever someone offered me a drink. [21:11] Did you ever put any rules in place to try and control your drinking? Ashley – I've tried every rule imaginable; from only drinking on the weekends, to never drinking at home, or only drinking after the children went to bed. [24:00] How did you get sober this time? Ashley – I try and go to AA every day and I listen to podcasts. [25:41] What are you going to do differently this time? Ashley – I am distancing myself from my drinking friends and trying to make new sober friends. I also am looking for on-line support in order to locate sober people in my area. [27:54] Do you think you will ever be able to attend shows sober? Ashley – Right now, no. But I love music so eventually I would like to be able to go. It is going to take some time. [29:23] Did you ever go to any "dark" places while drinking? Ashley – I had tons of blackouts and I lost my license for 5 years. [29:23] Paul and Ashley talk about a time when she felt like drinking but managed to control the urge. Ashley – I was recently home alone and starting getting those thoughts of drinking. I watched a few videos on U-Tube and thought that if I drank, I would ruin my week again. [33:05] What is a typical day like for you? Ashley – I try to keep very busy with work. I also plan what AA meeting I am going to attend and get up and go. [34:52] What are your thoughts on a HP? Ashley – I believe in God and would go to church occasionally as a child. I am trying to get back into church. [35:49] What are you most proud of and how are your relationships now? Ashley – I am most proud of being there for my children. I am more active with them. My relationship is much better with them. My children see me being active and happy. [37:33] Do you have anything on your bucket list? Ashley – I want to be able to truly love myself and my life. I want to be able to do things without booze. [38:35] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? when I was drunk, I got jumped in an ally way Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? not being able to stop drinking while attending that funeral What's your plan moving forward? stay distant from my drinker friends, go to AA, podcasts What's your favorite resource in recovery? Verbal surgery podcast What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? do not think so far ahead What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? start right now, focus on today You might be an alcoholic if…… you go to your local gas station and the cashier is questioning why you do not have any beer Resources mentioned in this episode: Recovery Elevator Retreat Connect

Laura, with 41 days since her last drink, shares her story……. Do you ever feel duped by alcohol? Throughout high school, we were all told to "just say no" to drugs but not much was ever said about alcohol. The reality is that only 1 in 10 people with an alcohol problem get treatment. The research shows that the number 1 most addictive drug is alcohol. It kills more people than all other drugs combined. In 2015, Paul started the RE podcast just to stay accountable for himself. Now, the podcast has gotten so popular because so many people are still struggling. Even though addiction is a chronic disease of the brain, the stigma attached keeps people from getting the help that they need. The challenge for all of us in recovery is to be open about out alcohol use, and get it out in the open. SHOW NOTES [13:29] Paul Introduces Laura. Laura – I am 40 years old and have not had a drink in 41 days. I am married with 2 boys and I live in Michigan. I am a special education teacher and enjoy most outdoor activities. [16:41] When did you realize that you had a problem? Laura – I had been drinking pretty heavily since my 20's. Last summer when I wanted to stop, I could not. During a routine physical, I mentioned to my Dr. that I had some liver issues and that perhaps I should go to rehab. He advised against it stating that there were only drug abusers in there. He suggested I see their social worker but she wouldn't see me because I was still drinking. I felt like I was going around and around. I even tried Harm reduction which did not work. [19:46] When you stopped drinking did your health problems go away? Laura – not entirely but they have gotten better. I exercise more since I am not drinking and that makes me feel better. My rheumatoid arthritis is still there. I thought that once I quit drinking, I would be pain free but that was not the case. After 40 days of not drinking, I am starting to feel some relief from pain. I have started reading "The All Day Energy Diet." [23:14] Paul and Laura discuss the Harm Reduction Plan. Laura – you are supposed to moderate and keep track of how many drinks you have each day. It wasn't working for me. I found it difficult remaining in contact with the other people in the group. School started and things got crazy so I started drinking again every night. I wanted to stop but just didn't want to put the work in to do it. [25:25] How did that feel when you wanted to stop but just wasn't ready? Laura – I could get a few days of sobriety under my belt but would always drink on that 3rd day. I was a responsible drinker and would get everything done in my household by 8pm so that I could start drinking. [30:00] So how did you get 41 days of sobriety? Laura – I kept myself very busy or would go for a walk just to keep my mind off of it. Every morning I try to exercise and it feels great to not have the guilt about drinking the night before. After work if I get cravings, I will drink a cup of coffee. I also enjoy reading sobriety books and once the summer starts, I would like to check out some AA and SMART meetings. [32:14] Do you have anything on your sobriety bucket list? Laura – I would like to run a 5K, travel, and spend more quality time with my children. [32:59] What advice would you give to your younger sense? Laura – Stop drinking when you are young. Drinking is not realistic. It is OK to experience your emotions. Do not be afraid to feel them. [33:03] What are your thoughts on relapse? Laura – The thought of relapse scares me. I do not want to lose control like that again. [35:00] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? I mistakenly hid my husband's iPad instead of my son's. The next morning I could not remember where I had hidden it. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? I was at a bar with my then boyfriend. I made him so mad that he never spoke to me again and I have no idea what I had done What's your plan moving forward? stay connected, trying some AA and SMART meetings and giving back to the community What's your favorite resource in recovery? I am reading the 30 Day Sobriety Solution, the RE podcast and the RE Face Book group What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? take it 1 day at a time What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Use the resources that are out there and do not give up. You might be an alcoholic if….. you order 2 drinks at a time because the bartender is to slow Interesting fact – India has passed a law that establishments that serve liquor cannot be close to federal highways. They have 400 traffic fatalities a day and a big portion of these are due to alcohol. You might be an alcoholic if you remove federal highway signs and replace them with city signs, so that your business is not affected by this new law. Resources mentioned in this episode: Recovery Elevator Retreat Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobrie

Julie, with 92 days sober, shares her story……… Big alcohol companies like to blame the individual rather than the poison that they sell. The liquor industry spends millions of dollars on advertisements that tell us we should drink responsibly. If we do not drink responsibly, than we are to blame. We should know when to say when, right? The facts show that alcohol kills 85,000 people each year. But to the companies selling the booze, money is the name of the game. These companies make billions while avoiding high taxes because alcohol is not taxed as high as other beverages. *********************************Don't be duped by alcohol advertisements***************************************** SHOW NOTES [9:21] Paul Introduces Julie Julie – I have been sober for 92 days and it feels really good. I did not think that I could do it. I am 35 years old and work as a nurse. I enjoy music and going to concerts. [11:00] When did you realize you had a problem with alcohol? Julie – I have known for years. I just could never get enough. My first issue was with drugs so I did not focus on my alcohol problem. I went to rehab for drug abuse in 2010 and stayed sober for 18 months after that. The rehab helped with my drug use but then I turned to alcohol. When I tried to quit alcohol, I had hallucinations and ended up spending 4 days in the psych ward. [14:24] What happened after your 18 months of sobriety? Julie – I had already started planning to drink. I knew I was going to attend another concert and thought I could drink normally. I ended up drinking so much that I blacked out and continued to drink for 5 more years. I always told myself, "when _______ happens," I will stop drinking. But I never stopped. I woke up each morning feeling defeated, angry and bitter. [18:00] Was your rock bottom 92 days ago? Julie – I did not have a bottom 92 days ago. I was just tired of being sick and tired. I kept wondering when I was going to lose my medical license. I knew it was just a matter of time before this happened. Then, I thought I would try to quit and when it didn't work, I could at least say that I had tried. [19:05] Paul asks Julie how she got sober 92 days ago. Julie – I listened to a lot of podcasts and made it to 30 days. I was feeling really good but still ordered a glass of wine while at lunch with my brother. I did not even enjoy it. I finally admitted to my family that I was done drinking. [21:23] Paul and Julie discuss accountability. Julie – My family has been super supportive of my sobriety. I try to take it 1 situation at a time. I still have not been completely honest with them about how much I was consuming but my parents are very encouraging to me. [25:00] What else did you do? Julie – My best friend has been sober for over a year and she has been supporting me. I do a lot of reading and am constantly working at changing my mindset. [27:47] How have your cravings been? Julie – I try and distract myself by taking my dogs for a walk or keeping busy. I know that the cravings will pass. [28:34] How did you feel during your first week of sobriety? Julie – I was pretty apprehensive the first week. I did not think that I could do it. Once 30 days went by, I felt that I had a chance at making it. I am more confident as each day passes. [29:34] What advice would you give to your younger self? Julie – You pay a price for everything that you do. You do not know everything when you are young. Drinking is not fun and games anymore. [30:00] What have you learned in sobriety? Julie – When I was drinking, I was not living in reality. I was just going through the motions. I have learned that it is possible to live sober and have a clear mind. I did not want to accept that I would be drinking for the rest of my life and possibly losing my career. [31:00] What are your rules in sobriety? Julie – Attitude is everything and I am learning as much as I can. [33:38] Do you have a bucket list? Julie – I would like to get out of my comfort zone more, try meditation and yoga. [34:47 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? withdrawing while in the pysch ward Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? every day was an oh shit moment What's your plan moving forward? staying active and reading What's your favorite resource in recovery? RE podcast and the private FB group What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? do not feel like you have to do it all at once What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? take the first steps and worry about tomorrow when it gets here You might be an alcoholic if….. you loathe the existence of everyone at the gas station because when they see you, they know that you cannot drink normally Resources mentioned in this episode: Recovery Elevator Retreat Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and y

Coral, with 7 months since her last drink, shares her story…… Do we have to say it again? Let's drop the stigma regarding addiction. The research shows that alcoholics have a genetic predisposition towards alcohol. It is not a character defect, nor a moral weakness. Yet, even after these results are published, about 20% of the general population, along with many psychiatrists still believe that it is a personal weakness. Kenneth Bloom conducted early experiments on neurology and molecular genetics. Hundreds of these experiments showed that alcoholism is hereditary. Many adoption studies have also been done and they show that children with at least 1alcoholic biological parent were 3 to 4 times more likely to become an alcoholic, regardless of their non-alcoholic adoptive parents. When an alcoholic drinks, our neurotransmitters go awry and our bodies break down booze differently than normal drinkers. That's the facts folks. SHOW NOTES [14:08] Paul Introduces Coral. Coral – I am 32 years old and live in Idaho. I work in an industrial plant. I am married and have a 9 year old son. [16:08] Did you think you had a problem with drinking? Coral – My husband and I have been trying to conceive but after our IVF failed, I went on a 2 week bender, full of self- pity. I would grab a beer first thing in the morning. Drinking was not helping anything. Now it just feels surreal to be sober. I did not think that I could do it. Drinking has always been a part of my life. But being in a recovery program keeps me from getting stagnant. [19:21] When did you realize that you had a problem? Coral – There were plenty of times I told myself that I should slow down. These slow down plans never worked. I would try to limit hard liquor or not drink during the day. Sometimes I was able to slow down but it never lasted long. [22:11] Paul and Coral discuss her bottoms. Coral – One of my worst memories was having some new friends over to my house for a BBQ. I ended up tripping over something in the yard and fell into the fire pit. I was burned over 10% of my body. Even after this, I never looked at myself as having a problem. It took a few months to re-cooperate after this accident. I was on heavy pain medications and still drank while on them. After 3 months, I went to the doctor to get a refill of my pain medication. He would not refill my prescription and I ended up going through withdrawal. [26:00] How did you quit drinking 7 months ago? Coral – I started listening to podcastsand going to meetings. I joined the Club Soda club on-line and I also started seeing a therapist. [30:00] Paul and Coral discuss her relationship with her husband and his drinking. Coral – My husband was also a drinker and struggles a little bit. He has been very supportive of my recovery. He has his own path in recovery and I have mine. [31:33] When did your thinking shift from "I can't do this" to "I can do this?" Coral – Probably around 90 days. I had been denied a promotion that I thought I had in the bag. I felt like jumping out of my own skin. I decided to get in the car and drove many miles to a meeting. I left the meeting wondering why I hadn't gone to a meeting in so long. It was so good to be around other people with this same problem. Sobriety is my #1 priority now, otherwise I will lose everything. [33:33] What have you learned the most about yourself? Coral – I am still learning about myself. Right now I am in the middle of the 4th step and it has been very eye opening. [34:34] How have your cravings been? Coral – I do eat a lot of sugar. I gave up alcohol, caffeine and cigarettes at the same time. So I need my sugar. When a craving hits, I try to meditate, exercise or go to a meeting. [35:40] How have your relationships changed? Coral – My husband and I get along much better. Instead of having arguments, we discuss things now. I am also closer to my extended family since they are non-drinkers. [36:43] What is a typical day like for you? Coral – I usually say a prayer every morning and then head off to work. I will go to a few meetings each week and enjoy spending time with my family. [37:00] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? falling into the fire pit Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? I had a major blackout while drinking as a teen. Everyone told me I was running around screaming and I do not remember a thing. What's your plan moving forward? working the steps and helping others What's your favorite resource in recovery? SHAIR podcast, The Bubble Hour podcast and The Big Book What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? You are the average of the 5 people that you hang around with the most. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? If you think you have a problem, than you probably do. You can still have fun without drinking. You might be an alcoholic if… you fall into a fire pit but still blame it on the misc. objects in your yard Resour

Michael, with 32 years since his last drink, shares his story. In a recent CNN interview with Jeremy Broderick, he talks about how the GOP replacement plan for Obamacare makes things worse for the addict. Many treatment plans were covered under Medicaid as well as the Affordable Care Act. Trump-care isn't what is seems to be and pushes more for accessibility instead of universal coverage. In the meantime, 200 people die a day while the government sorts this out. It is estimated that for every $1.00 spent on treatment, $4.00 is saved on healthcare and for every $1.00 spent on education/prevention, $50.00 is saved on healthcare. SHOW NOTES [8:18] Paul Introduces Michael Michael – I am 60 years old with 32 years of sobriety. I have 2 twin sons and I run health and wellness websites. I like to walk, hike and meet like-minded people. [10:48] When did you realize that you had a problem? Michael – it was long before I was 28 years old. I started drinking alcoholically at age 14. I was in an accident and arrested for DUI at the age of 19. My drinking slowed down a little when my uncle died but I picked up smoking weed instead. Cocaine was finally my downfall. I was starting to spend hours in blackouts and was continuously apologizing for things that I had done. [13:14] What were your drinking habits like? Michael – During nights' outs, I could drink 20 bottles of beer. We would go out to the bars starting at midnight and drink until 7am. [14:08] Did you ever put any rules into place to control your drinking? Michael – I couldn't start drinking early in the day because I would keep going. I intentionally started drinking later in the day so that I had a chance to make it home safely. [15:23] What drug do you think led you to cocaine? Pot or alcohol? Michael – It was probably the pot. I needed it when I first woke up in the morning just to be able to get to work. [16:04] How did you do it? Michael – I started going to meetings and was completely overwhelmed by the love of the community. They enveloped me with their hugs and love. Our motto was hugs, not drugs. I went to 1 sober party after another. There wasn't any time to do drugs. I learned to be careful who I surrounded myself with. Build your community of sober friends. Community is everything to me. I never feel alone when I surround myself with people who are moving in the same direction. There is no addiction sigma within these sober communities. [22:29] Did you start with NA or AA? Michael – I started with NA and we were a small group. We were sponsoring 5-10 people at a time. I received some advice that I should try an AA meeting in order to see what longer term sobriety was. My first AA meeting had some old timers who basically told me to, "sit down and shut up." They taught us what real time recovery was. [25:35] What is your advice for finding real recovery? Michael – You've got to tap in to your resources. There are many milestones that are going to happen to you in recovery. Your world can still fall apart at any time. You will always have to deal with emotional experiences. [27:27] What advice would you give to your younger self? Michael – When we are drinking, we tend to gravitate towards other drinkers. Most of the rest of the population does not drink like we do. It is OK to be with these normal/non-drinkers. There is an entire world full of incredible people who do not care whether you drink or not. [30:00] Tell us your thoughts regarding sugar addiction. Michael – I think that sugar is the real gateway drug. It is so subtle that you do not realize it is even happening. Sugar is a powerful psychoactive drug. You can become physically and mentally addicted to sugar. We crave it when we need a mental break. When we eat sugar, we temporarily feel better about ourselves. [35:40] What is viral recovery.com? Michael – It is my website where I advocate to change the stigma of addiction with healthcare. I post what others are doing (such as Paul!) to change the attitudes surrounding addiction. [36:51] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? I had been in a car accident and a telephone pole was literally sitting in the passenger seat of my car Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? every time I woke up in the morning with wet pants What's your plan moving forward? spread the message and stay tight with your sober community What's your favorite resource in recovery? On-line recovery tools What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? my sponsor had me look up at the stars and asked me if I thought it was possible that the whole world just might not be about me What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? be kind to yourself, learn to self-care and be aware of not degrading yourself You might be an alcoholic if…..you look ahead through weeks of weddings, work parties, etc. and it's exhausting trying to juggle and control your drinking. Resources mentioned in this

Heath, with 40 days since his last drink, shares his story….. *****Please review the RE podcast in iTunes***** Can we taper off alcohol? It is nearly impossible to cut back on alcohol because it is so addictive. Our own addictive mind lies to us and tells us that we can cut back. In all of the interviews done on the Recovery Elevator podcast, there has not been 1 interviewee who claimed they were able to moderate. If you have, send a message to [email protected]. Paul would love to interview you! What happens when we try to taper down our alcohol consumption? Each day gets more painful than the last as we try to limit our drinks. We often try to implement rules to control ourselves but these never last. The question to ask yourself is, "Where does alcohol stand on your priority list?" SHOW NOTES [10:00] Paul Introduces Heath. Heath – I am 40 days sober, live in Atlanta and am 41 years old. I enjoy running, working out and spending time with my 9 year old daughter. [11:14] When did you realize that you had a problem? Heath – I knew that I had a problem all of my life. The last few years I have been trying to get sober. I finally wanted to get sober for myself. [12:19] Did you ever put any rules in place? Heath – I could not drink around my wife so I needed to keep my drinking limited to 9-5. I would occasionally go without drinking for a few weeks. Being self-employed made it difficult to remain sober. I turned to marijuana and Xanax to try and get through the day. Once the Xanax ran out, I went back to drinking. [16:19] Did you hit a rock bottom? Heath – I had multiple accidents where I totaled cars but this time nothing big actually happened. I thought to myself that either I have to deal with this now or deal with it later. [17:31] How did you do it? Heath – I kept very busy the first week of sobriety. Exercise was super important and I started running every day. I also go to SMART meetings. I want to be prepared once the pink cloud dissipates. When I go to SMART meetings, I try to look for similarities. When I see that someone has relapsed, I immediately think that I do not want that to be me. [24:23] How have your relationships changed? Heath – I no longer carry any guilt. My wife is still skeptical that I have quit for good but my daughter is super thrilled that I am sober. [25:30] How have your cravings been? Heath – When I first got a craving I raced right to the gym. 45 minutes on the elliptical machine stopped that craving. Exercise releases the endorphins I need. [27:36] What have you learned about yourself? Heath – I am not as anxious as I thought I was. Once I got off the booze and Xanax, I was more relaxed than I had been before. [30:00] What have you accomplished in sobriety? Heath – I still feel very humble in sobriety. I am looking forward to getting my relationship back with my wife and possibly starting to save some money. [ ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? seeing the disappointment in my wife's eyes Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Continuous moments!! What's your plan moving forward? SMART meetings, exercise What's your favorite resource in recovery? SMART meetings and exercise What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Your drinking problem is never going to go away. You are going to have to deal with it. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? do not give up trying, your chances of recovering go up the more you try You might be an alcoholic if….you use a sobriety app to keep you sober Resources mentioned in this episode: Recovery Elevator Retreat Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] Annie Grace "This Naked Mind" video course. Find it at www.recoveryelevator.com/annie. Enter promo code elevator50 to receive $50 off AALRM = Run for recovery in Bozeman, MT on 5/20/17. Sign up link below: https://runsignup.com/Race/MT/Bozeman/AALRMRunforRecovery "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Lou, with 2 years since his last drink, shares his story… 5/20/17 – Join us for Run for Recovery in Bozeman, MT. Not a runner? Sign up for a virtual run @ RecoveryElevator.Com/Run. Enter promo code recoveryelevator to receive $5.00 off. Is quitting drinking a sacrifice? We often fear that we are giving up on pleasure if we have to give up alcohol. This is absolutely false. If we are in the right mind set when we quit drinking, there will not be any void. Instead, you will be giving up all of the shitty things that booze does to you. Soberity is not a sacrifice but an opportunity. SHOW NOTES [7:46] Paul Introduces Lou. Lou – I have been sober for 2 years and live in NJ. I am 27 years old and enjoy meditation, yoga and living for a higher purpose. My work is my fun. [9:17] When was your rock bottom? Lou – My actual sobriety date was not my bottom. I fell in love with drinking during high school and college. I was arrested for attempted burglary in college because I was trying to get into people's houses during a blackout. I made some bad decisions that were very shameful. I started seeing where I could have been and comparing it to where I actually was. I had been living for the weekends and the rave parties. In 2014 I heard a whisper that said, "I've got to stop this." I started my journey towards personal development and connected with some young ambitious people. I finally started to see that I had a higher purpose than drugs and alcohol. [20:46] Paul and Lou discuss meditation. Lou – I was hiking up in Joshua State Park when I decided to stop and meditate. I started breathing and fell into a loving peace that I had never felt before. I kept thinking, "You are fulfilled." The next day I started journaling. Again, I felt the spiritual experience. "Do I want what life has to offer?" I decided, at that point, that I needed to quit drinking. [27:29] How did you quit drinking? Lou – I wrote in my journal – On this day, I am done drinking. Started with just 1 day at a time. I kept having these spiritual energy experiences. I felt a call for a higher purpose. I quit my job without any notice which was totally out of character for me. My co-workers sent the police to my house. They were afraid that I was going to commit suicide. [31:00] Did you use AA? Lou – I did not go to AA. I had such a spiritual shift that I was a completely different person and did not want alcohol at all. [32:30] What advice would you give to your younger self. Lou – Look at who you are surrounding yourself with. Life is a natural high. You can live an exciting life without drugs and alcohol. [33:00] What do you value most in sobriety? Lou – I am proud of being a non-drinker. I do not feel labeled or an outcast anymore. [34:07] What is your proudest achievement in sobriety? Lou – I have written a book that tells my story. "Find Your Truth" can be found on Amazon. I like getting the message out to others that we all have a higher purpose. Once you get addicted to the right things, life is amazing. [36:32] What does a day in the life of Lou look like? Lou – I do a lot of journaling, meditation, yoga, and work on my business. I really do not think about booze at all. [38:00] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? waking up in jail to my mother picking me up What's your plan moving forward? spreading the message and being an example to others What are your favorite books? "Outwitting the Devil," by Napoleon Hill and "Conservations with God," by Neale Walsch. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? what you are searching for in the bottle, is there for you in something else. You might be an alcoholic if……you hide Hennessey bottles, consistently blackout, or are called Liquor Lou. Resources mentioned in this episode: Recovery Elevator Retreat Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android www.louredmond.com Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Chris, with 11 months since his last drink, shares his story…… Does alcohol relieve our fears? Absolutely not. It may initially feel like it does but what booze is really doing is taking away our survival instincts. It removes our ability to face our fear (and fear is there for a reason). We become the turtle hiding away in its' shell. Or worse yet, alcohol takes away our inhibitions which can put us in dangerous situations. It doesn't make us courageous. We may feel like Superman after 1-2 drinks but who stops there? Alcohol impairs our judgement and we end up attempting to fly like Superman, but without a cape. SHOW NOTES [8:58] Paul Introduces Chris. Chris – I have been sober for 347 days and it feels great! I am 45 years old and live in Portland Oregon. I am married with a 12 year old daughter. I like to travel, spend time with my family and watch stand-up comedy shows. [10:27] When did you first realize that you had a problem? Chris – I started noticing that I drank too much in my early 20's but for the last 2 years I could not go without alcohol for a week. When my sister got married, I was pretty much in a blackout the entire week. My final bottom came after a vacation in Hawaii. On the last day I went on a total binge and couldn't even be out in public. The day was entirely wasted and I had to sleep it off. I told my wife that I needed help and could not do it alone. [14:11] How did your wife react? Chris – We had both been trying to cut back and since she works in the healthcare field, she knew of some phone numbers I could call. I contacted the support line and was seen by a therapist the following day. I honestly told the therapist how much I had been drinking and he informed me that I was destroying my liver. This was a good thing for me to hear. It made me realize just how bad my drinking had gotten. [17:53] What type of treatment did you receive? Chris – I saw a therapist pretty quickly and then told my wife how much I had been consuming. She was surprised when I told her I had been hiding it. [19:25] What was your first week of sobriety like? Chris – The first few days were physically rough but after the 1rst month I felt great. Mentally, it is still tough. I still have days that feel fuzzy. Drinking caused me to lose that spiritual light. [21:33] How are your relationships now? Chris – my relationship with my daughter is better than ever. I am finding new layers to me by reading and doing self-help work. My wife and I are working on our relationship. [22:33] What have you learned about yourself? Chris – I can survive discomfort and unhappy feelings without drinking. It is OK to not feel good sometimes. [24:45] What does a day in the life of Chris look like? Chris – I check the RE face book page every morning. I am learning to meditate but at least try and take some time to myself each day. I also go to SMART recovery meetings once a week. [27:00] What are SMART meetings like? Chris – the meetings can vary. Some follow the SMART handbook and they help you look at your priorities and choices. Other meetings are more like open discussions. You can talk about anything. The basic premise is that you can control your reactions. [30:00] Have you had any cravings? Chris – They are a lot weaker and occur less frequently now. I made changes to my life like not going to bars. I also always have an escape plan if needed. By planning ahead, I do not put myself in any drinking situations if possible. If someone offers me a drink, I simply say "No thanks" or "Drinking isn't working for me right now." [35:11] What are your thoughts on relapse? Chris – This addiction is tough. I am not sure why I haven't relapse just that I haven't for today. I think relapse is more common when you are not fully ready to embrace sobriety. [37:13] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? getting lost is a parking lot and not being able to find my way out. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? when I promised my daughter that I would quit drinking and then started again What's your plan moving forward? stay engaged by listening to other podcasts (The Bubble Hour, That Sober Guy, Mental Illness Happy Hour) What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Be kind to yourself. Don't drink today, and if you did, don't drink tomorrow What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? You are not giving up your identity when you quit drinking You might be an alcoholic if…..you nurse a beer all night so that it covers up your breath from sneaking vodka Resources mentioned in this episode: Recovery Elevator Retreat Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] Sobriety Tracker Android Book – The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this

Mitchell, with 30 days since his last drink, shares his story How to quit drinking Do not drink. Replace the beverage in your hand with a Popsicle or a ginger beer Watch the movie Leaving Las Vegas and then watch it again Listen to every Third Eye Blind Song ever written Do not watch the movie Beer Fest Go to 90 meetings in 90 days Get a sponsor or an accountability partner Think about joining Café RE www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere Have you ever asked yourself, "Do I have a drinking problem?" Well think no more because that's your answer Remember that alcohol is pure shit Affirmations - your unconscious mind is way ahead of you when it comes to viewing alcohol ads and advertisements. You constantly need to affirm to yourself that you will not be drinking. Change everything: where you get your haircut, the color of your walls, and probably most of the friends you hang out with. Tell the people closest to you that you will no longer be drinking. Create accountability = the most important thing on this list. You cannot quit drinking with willpower because willpower is finite and exhaustible. You might last a week or a month or a year, but eventually you will drink again. Find a higher power. This higher power could literally be a pigeon sitting on a power cable. I hate to break it to you, but you cannot do this alone. You are going to need a community of like- minded individuals. Whether this community is online, in person or your next-door neighbor, you are going to have to connect with other like-minded individuals. Did I mention that alcohol is shit? If you are just starting this journey, you do not know any answers yet. Please put the cotton in your mouth and start listening. If you ever say the words to yourself "I think I got this" you're f@#$%@. Those are the three most dangerous words an alcoholic can say. Always give yourself an exit strategy. Drive your own car, scooter, skate board or hover board. It is right around that time when your friends start getting tipsy that the danger zone approaches and I'm not talking about the Top Gun soundtrack. Look at yourself in the mirror. What do you see? Do you like it? Do you want to change what you see? Ask yourself if you are reaching your full potential in life. Most likely if you are drinking that answer is no. Your dead relatives would not be proud. If you were thinking about quitting drinking for someone else, you're f@#$%! You have to quit drinking for yourself. Do not beat yourself up. In fact, tell yourself that you are a rock star. Sure you might be an average guitar player who will never tour with Aerosmith, but you are worth it, you are damn worth it. You may find yourself quite bored without alcohol which is why you need to pick up new hobbies such as yoga, jogging, archery, or stamp collecting. Stamp collecting to me sounds extremely boring but you get point. You need to get outside of your mind and fast. The best way to do this is to help others. For example: Mrs. Jones's lawn across the street is in desperate need of care. That could be the perfect job for you. If you think you've hit rock bottom, unfortunately I've got bad news for you. Every bottom has a trapdoor that can lead to much greater pain and suffering. The good news is that when you do reach a bottom there is something called a conduit. That is when your higher power is there to help you get sober. Do not put too much emphasis on what this higher power is. It could be the pigeon on the powerline or it could be the wind bristling between the pine trees. Educate yourself. Knowledge is useless unless you do something with it. There are a tremendous amount of great podcasts out there about recovery. Read books preferably not while drinking. "This Naked Mind" by Annie Grace is one of my favorite books. Also a book called "Beyond the Influence" by Katherine Ketchum is fantastic. If you think you are alone in your drinking, you are dead wrong. There are millions struggling with alcohol and if you connect with some of them you will find that what you have in common is incredible. Start to develop a recovery portfolio. Jam pack this recovery portfolio full of books, a list of contacts, AA meeting schedules, etc. Get out of your comfort zone. I can tell you with 100% certainty that sobriety is not located inside of your comfort zone. Friends that try to convince you that sobriety is located inside your comfort zone are not your friends. La Croix soda water is your best friend. Do not beat yourself up because alcohol has done a good job of doing just that. Get up. Get up again. Get up again. Then get up 15 more times. Eventually this will stick and booze will be something of the past. Start writing a journal. Start writing about what you're thankful for. Start writing about what your goals are in life and if your current path is leading you to those goals. Alcoholics Anonymous. Get outside your comfort zone and go to a meeting. Stop making excuses. No wimps allowed! The stigma is total BS. In

Amanda, with 19 months since her last drink, shares her story Why we drink: Alcohol is everywhere. Drinking appears to be the norm. We are bombarded with alcohol advertisements 67 times a day. Our society has a love affair with booze. We have a genetic make-up to become addicted to alcohol. Our environment is flooded with alcohol. We think everything we do should be accompanied by alcohol. Alcohol is a highly addicted drug. We have shitty coping skills. Not on the list of why we drink: a moral failing or a weakness of character SHOW NOTES [ 7:45 ] Paul Introduces Amanda. How long have you been sober? Amanda – I have been sober for 19 months. This is the longest I have ever been sober. I feel very proud of myself. [ 8:51 ] What is your background? Amanda – I am from Mississippi but now live in Florida with my 15 year old daughter. [ 10:27 ] Did you ever try to put rules in place to moderate your drinking? Amanda – I started drinking when I was 16 so there were no rules in the beginning. I was that sloppy drunk girl in the room. I would start watching the clock for 5:00 which meant it was time to drink. [ 12:34 ] When did you first realize that you had a problem? Amanda – In 2010, one bad thing after another happened to me. I was put in jail for domestic violence. I was so ashamed of not being able to control myself with alcohol. I felt that I was a strong person since I had raised my daughter alone. I did not want to appear weak and vulnerable. [ 14:26 ] Amanda and Paul discuss the stigma of addiction. Amanda – I had twin cousins who died because of alcohol. Their memory and my daughter were the only reasons why I didn't commit suicide myself. I felt like no one cared about me so why should I care about myself? [ 16:01 ] How did you get sober? Amanda – I did not use AA. I went to a rehab that taught the 12 steps but after I was released, there was no support. No one called or checked on me. My parents had basically just dropped me off at rehab. I still drank for 4 years and then turned to meth. I finally decided that I was either going to die or go back to jail. I moved to another state but was still hanging out with the same type of people. I knew I needed to give up booze so I started looking for something else to do. This led me to find a group of people who were into mud runs. I got into fitness. [ 21:42 ] Amanda and Paul discuss her days in rehab and her personal development. Amanda – I did not feel like anything had changed after my 60 days in rehab. Afterward I started looking into motivational development. Someone told me that I was born with a purpose. Everyone has the power to help others. I was under the false assumption that life was going to be a piece of cake. I joined a personal development community (Breather University). The people in this group accepted me and my life has completely changed. I am Amanda and I am amazing! I am not a part of sobriety groups because I hate the alcoholic label. What you say about yourself is what you are. [ 33:36 ] What is your pump up song? Paul – Limp Bizkit, "Nookie" (Life is an opportunity, not an obligation). Amanda – Jason Aldean, "Gonna Know We Were Here" (Self-affirmations are super important to me). [ 34:08 ] What is your relationship like with your daughter? Amanda – We have had to rebuild our relationship. She lived with my parents for the last 6 months that I was using. She moved in with me when I went to Florida. There has been a lot of growing and we have had to push through the hard times. [ 36:50 ] What is a typical day like for you? Amanda – I say positive affirmations to myself every day. I list 3 things that I am grateful for every day. I try to exercise, read or watch personal development videos every day. [ 39:09 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? getting knocked out by a big guy I had tried to beat up Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? jail What's your plan moving forward? sharing my story to give others hope What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? everything that you go through, isn't always about you What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? life is beautiful, fill your void with goodness You might be an alcoholic if….. you duct tape 2 beers to your hands so that you do not lose them Resources mentioned in this episode: Recovery Elevator Retreat Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] Amanda U-Tube videos – Patched Wangs Book "Beyond the Influence," by Katherine Ketcham "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Paul G with 10 years of sobriety, shares his story…… What is mindfulness? Mindfulness is basically a type of coping strategy. It is being in the moment, paying attention and being present. Why should we practice mindfulness? It is good for our bodies It helps boost our immune system It increases positive thoughts while decreasing negative thoughts It changes how the brain functions and helps us focus It enhances our relationships Unfortunately many alcoholics have terrible coping skills and we can live entirely in our head. Mindfulness training can help us stay in the moment. It is the art of being, not doing. SHOW NOTES [ 9:05 ] Paul C Introduces Paul G from Hope Rehab in Thailand. How long have you been sober? Paul G – over 10 years. My first round of rehab happened when I was 19 years old. [ 11:00 ] Tell our listeners a little about yourself. Paul G – I am originally from Ireland but now live in Thailand. I am married and have a 10 year old son [ 11:30 ] Did you ever try to implement rules to control your drinking? Paul G – I did not have any rules in place at the beginning of my drinking life. Alcohol gave me comfort. After taking my first drink, I finally liked who I was and where I was. I moved to England and worked in a bar where I was able to drink all day long. A girlfriend convinced me to leave that occupation and I realized I had not gone a day without drinking in many years. I went to rehab for her, not because I wanted to stop drinking. [ 16:14 ] Paul C and Paul G discuss his first stay in rehab. Paul G – After I left rehab, I did not stay sober. I knew if I drank, I would lose my girlfriend. I chose booze over the girl. I got back into school and immediately went on a drinking bender. I was having panic attacks and suffered from alcohol induced depression. I was just hoping for someone to get me psychiatric help because I could not even complete the forms to have myself admitted to the hospital. [ 19:11 ] So you basically drank yourself homeless? Paul G – Yes, I was walking the streets and wandered in to a recovery house. They sent me to a dry house for 1 year and stated that I did not need psychiatric help. My panic attacks had all been alcohol induced. I stayed sober for 2 years. [ 20:40 ] What happened after 2 years? Paul G – I got sick of thinking and talking about recovery. I had been so enthusiastic in early recovery but was starting to feel like I was missing out on something. The mental obsession had returned. Perhaps I had opened that door again. I was going to bars with my sober friends but it was a very slippery slope. [ 23:00 ] What was your bottom like? Paul G – I drank for another 10 years because I felt like I had some control in the beginning. I did not end up back in that poor mental state so it gave me a sense of false confidence. Things eventually did go downhill and I moved to Saudi Arabia thinking that because it is a dry country, it would make it easier to stop drinking. My first day on the job, I was shown the bins where all of the illegal alcohol was stored. Booze was readily available and even stronger since it was home brewed. I knew that I would die if I stayed to I moved to Thailand. [ 28:00 ] How did you get introduced to meditation? Paul G – I have been into meditation for years. After every relapse I would always go back to meditation. My problem was that I was using meditation to escape reality instead of using in to get "into" reality. I would use meditation to get into a blissful state when it should be used to get grounded. [ 31:22 ] How is meditation similar to mindfulness? Paul G – Mindfulness is the ability to objectively observe our thoughts. It allows us to take a backward step and see our thoughts. Mindfulness is a part of meditation. [ 32:11] What are some things we can do to enter into a mindfulness state? Paul G – You need to bring your thoughts to a physical sensation. We use feel beads in therapy. With true meditation, you start to see how your mind has been tricked. The craving, which is that voice in our heads, is not always obvious. Mindfulness helps you identify what your brain is doing and the craving loses its' power. Addiction is like having an allergic reaction to our emotions. [ 37:35 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Sitting is a bar after learning that my liver was damaged from drinking. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Selling my girlfriend's music tapes for booze What's your plan moving forward? Showing up for life every day What's your favorite resource in recovery? Inside timer App What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? You will never regret not drinking yesterday What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? If you are really willing to change, there is an option for you. You might be an alcoholic if…… You keep saying you are sorry for things that you are not really sorry for. ******Congratulations to Allison for rea

Henk, 5 years sober, shares his story….. How do most people get sober? We all assume that it is through rehab or 12 step programs and that your odds are slim if you try to do it on your own (www.addiction.com). During the 1980's an idea was promoted that the only way you could get and stay sober was through rehab programs or AA. However, a study that followed problem drinkers from 2001-2005 showed that 85% of these drinkers got sober without any outside help (a phenomenon known as spontaneous or natural remission recovery). It should be noted that the majority of these people still had strong support systems at home and in their community. SHOW NOTES [ 7:53 ] How long have you been sober? Henk – I have been sober since Sept 13, 2010. I am originally from Holland but now live in Thailand where I for work for Hope Rehab. I also love to ride motor bikes. [ 9:30 ] When did you realize that you had a problem? Henk – I have been in and out of various treatment facilities since I was 23. At the age of 13, I began drinking and using drugs. This quickly escalated into selling drugs at the age of 15. By the time I turned 30, I had been in 5 long term treatment programs. They did not work because I did not want to stop drinking, I just wanted the problems to stop. [ 11:15 ] Do you think that alcohol is the gateway drink? Henk – Yes, when I drank I became a completely different person. We believe that it is more alcohol than marijuana that leads to destructive behavior. [ 12:29 ] Paul and Henk discuss what lead him to finally seek treatment Henk – My family did not want anything to do with me anymore. I had racked up high debts and I could not even take care of myself. I was living in dilapidated conditions. I finally realized that you cannot run away from what is in your head. You cannot drink those thoughts away. [ 13:37 ] What was the biggest difference between your last 2 rehabs? Henk – I had lost everything and was mentally and physically dying. I decided that I could not go back to that kind of life. [ 15:00 ] Paul and Henk discuss the "gift" of desperation Henk – The gift of desperation is very painful but it helped get me clean. It made me realize what I had done to myself. [ 16:32 ] Paul and Henk discuss the value of a fishing rod Henk – Right after leaving treatment, I found that I had no hobbies and no friends. I had to find some type of higher power and since I had a love of nature, I decided to buy a fishing pole. Anytime I was bored, angry, and lonely or upset, I would go to the canal and sit with my fishing pole. I would feel the wind and watch the water move. It really helped settle my mind. I also bought a pair of running shoes and began running. It was time to move forward. [ 21:47 ] Paul and Henk discuss the classroom exercise he observed while visiting Hope Rehab in Thailand Henk – I try to make the patients understand that work is needed if you want to remain sober. Relapse rates are very high and I try to stress the importance of putting in the effort. You want to remain sober? You've got to do the work. [ 25:20 ] How are you staying sober now? Henk – My sobriety is still my #1 priority. I have a sponsor and still go to meetings, especially when I travel. Since I work in a rehab facility, I am constantly seeing new comers. It helps remind me that addiction is so painful. When I reached 1 year of sobriety myself, I had tears running down my face because I could not believe that I had done it! [ 27:50] What are your thoughts on relapse? Henk – Relapse is a sign of some type of reservation in recovery. As alcoholics, we can think of a million reasons to drink. Nothing that happens to you justifies a relapse. Drinking only makes it worse. [ 30:39 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Sitting by myself at Christmas one year. My life was a mess, my girlfriend had just left me and no one wanted anything to do with me. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? When I crashed my scooter in front of all of my friends What's your plan moving forward? Right now I am feeling very stable and calm in my recovery. It helps that I love where I work. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Intherooms.com, meetings, and the book Living Sober What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? "Stop being a dick Henk!" and "Take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth." What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? The best thing you can do for yourself is get sober. I used to think that my life would be over if I could no longer party. Life has only just begun for me since I got sober. You might be an alcoholic if………you think alcohol is the solution Resources mentioned in this episode: Recovery Elevator Retreat Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recove

James, with 79 days sober, shares his story…….. Paul starts the show by recommending Annie Grace's video course on how to get started in sobriety and how to make lasting changes. www.recoveryelevatory.com/Annie. Enter promo code elevator50 to receive $50 off. Does getting sober mean simply not drinking? No – not drinking equals a dry drunk. Getting stuck as a dry drunk also means that your life will not be as happy and fulfilling as it should be. This can lead to a slow downhill decline until you pick up drinking again. If giving up alcohol feels like a punishment, than you have entered into dry drunk land (www.alcoholrehab.com). Recovery does not mean returning to the life you had before drinking; it means moving through the challenges of what life throws your way. Symptoms of a dry drunk: Low stress tolerance Picking up other unhealthy choices (lay off the smokes Paul!) Loneliness Denial Refusal to accept what recovery means Romancing the drink Self-pity Being over-prideful Getting involved in meetings and being engaged in your recovery program can help you recognize these symptoms. If you feel like a dry drunk, you should examine your program to see what is missing. SHOW NOTES [ 12:30 ] Paul Introduces James who has been sober for 79 days. James feels lucky that the gifts and goodness of sobriety have come to him already. [ 13:15 ] James is 29 years old, lives in NJ and sells software. He enjoys going to the gym daily and golfing. [ 14:53 ] James discusses his drinking history James – I was your typical teenage binge drinker. When I went to college, I got involved with religion and the Bible and really did not drink much. After college, I ended up taking a job on Wall Street where drinking and drugs were prevalent. Even though I was drinking just like everyone else, I still struggled with my internal beliefs (Why are we all here?). I was making good money on Wall Street but my addictions kept me from making emotional connections. [19:25 ] James discusses how drugs and alcohol were only the solution. Reality was the real problem. James – I wanted to be able to look back on my life with pleasure regarding my relationships and the bonds that I had formed. Alcohol and drugs were keeping me from reaching this ultimate goal. I had tried to control my drinking but finally the pain was just too much to take. [ 21:06 ] James discusses his rock bottom James – I had been skidding against the rock for quite a while. I would go 3-4 weeks without drinking and then would just tear it up. This behavior went on for 2-3 years. It was like having 2 separate lives. I finally checked myself in to an outpatient rehab. This allowed me to start reconnecting to other people in the program. [ 25:00 ] What was it like after connecting with these people? James – I immersed myself in recovery (reading, writing, dialytic behavior therapy). It was hard getting out of my comfort zone but I started communicating better with my girlfriend, I stopped lying and began telling everyone I was done with drinking. [ 28:30 ] What were the reactions of the people you were telling? James – I was surprised at the amount of support I was receiving. My friends would joke that I should have gone to outpatient rehab 3 years earlier. I also felt like people respected me more for the work that I was doing in recovery. [ 30:21 ] What is your plan moving forward? James – I am taking it 1 day at a time. Not drinking enables me to have the life that I want to have. I am trying new things and keeping recovery fresh. [ 31:54 ] Paul and James discuss the passing of his father and how he is dealing with those feelings without using alcohol. James – I feel like I have only scratched the surface of life without alcohol. The full extent of my father's passing has not hit me yet. I want those feelings to come even if by a freight train. [ 32:58 ] Which recovery tool is resonating with you right now? James – Outpatient rehab has been the most helpful so far. [ 34:12 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? When I was arrested and had to see my family's faces the next day. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? After my grandfather had passed away, I went out drinking and drugging. The next morning I woke up with the terrible feeling that something wasn't quite right. What's your plan moving forward? Keeping up with my DBT and trying to be of service to others What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? 1 size does not fit all What is DBT and what is it like? It helps with mindfulness and with staying in the moment. It teaches you how to not be impulsive. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Take a good hard look at yourself and try to find out what your underlying issues are. Get real with yourself. You might be an alcoholic if….. You continually feel depressed and anxious after a night of drinking. Resources mentioned in this episode: Recovery Elevator Retrea

Jeff, who has been sober since Dec 5, 2016, shares his story…… Paul starts the show recounting his 2 weeks visiting Hope Rehab in Thailand. (www.hope-rehab-center-thailand.com) What I learned in Rehab People came for other drugs but quickly realize that alcohol was the real issue Most people were still in denial of their addiction and will not stay sober A lot of the clients were just going through the motions Addiction does not segregate; there were people from 4 continents, lawyers' doctors, social workers, accountants, etc. Thailand is hot and wild pythons are a real thing Alcohol is communal. I have the same story as a guy in Malaysia and we had an instant connection within 5 minutes We are the lucky ones Some people are close to hitting the "fuck it" button at all times If you experience mild depression once, you have a 16% higher chance of experiencing it again. It takes your body 3 days to recuperate from 20 minutes of stress The old saying, "It takes 21 days to learn a new habit," is a myth. It really takes 66 days. Once a habit's circuity is created it can never be unlearned, but a new habit can be started. NVC or non-violent communication is the way to solve 99.4% of problems. Watching TV does not lower cortisol levels, but reading does Cortisol from stress impairs learning new things and problem solving The ego lives in the past and future, only the heart can live in the moment Even though the Recovery Elevator podcast is free and rehab may/may not be free, we've all paid a tremendous price with our pain and suffering The road to and in recovery narrows The problem is not the problem We need to find a way to stop the relationship with the chemical alcohol. It boils down to us not being satisfied I am not powerful and I am not special when it comes to alcohol. Step 0 = Trying everything to drink like a normal person (moderation, only beer, no hard alcohol, etc.) To quit drinking, we only need to quit one thing. Everything! The solution to quitting drinking is to have a spiritual experience without alcohol You must find a higher power and it cannot be yourself. Your ego is not your amigo! There is a lot of laughter in rehab People stop maturing emotionally and spiritually once addiction takes hold Resentments are offensively dangerous You do not have a chance at sobriety unless responsibility falls on your own shoulders Buddhism basically consists of 5 pillars that prevent harm to ourselves and others There is an AA waltz; 1 step, 2 step, 3 step drink. That damn 4th step. Addicts and alcoholics are a sensitive group of people. I was a summer camp counselor in 2007 and it felt at times we were dealing with teenagers. Tammy said this, and Roger said that. Sometimes we will worry over not having anything to worry about. Don't worry Paul, there will always be something to worry about We tend to not relapse over divorce, bankruptcy, or a family death. A broken shoelace? Bring on a drink! A counselor asked a group to do an exercise each night for 1 week. The following week only 20% of the participants had done as the counselor has asked. The counselor then responded with "and that is why only 20% of you will stay sober after rehab, the majority don't go through the work." My addiction told me that I didn't need to do the rehab work since I have been sober for over 2 years. Nice try Gary (my addiction). SHOW NOTES [ 9:28 ] Jeff's full e-mail to Paul is posted on the Recovery Elevator blog www.recoveryelevator.com [ 10:30 ] Tell us a little about yourself and when your last drink was. Jeff – My last drink was on 12/4/16. I am originally from Denver, married and have a 17 year old son. I am entrepreneur who likes to fish and wakeboard. [ 11:48 ] Did you ever try to put rules in place in order to control your drinking? Jeff – I really had not tried to stop until this past fall. I would only spend a specified amount of money on alcohol or only drink on the weekends. This tango dance with booze never worked. [ 14:08 ] Why do you call yourself a high bottom drinker? Jeff – It took me a long time to label myself as a problem drinker. I got married young, I owned a small business, and was a normal drinker for a long time. I was able to justify my drinking because my life was good up to a point. [ 17:57 ] When did you realize that you were not a normal drinker? Jeff – By my late 20's, my drinking was really progressing. I was living for the weekend parties with my neighbors. This was normal behavior among all of us. We would also hold church services at the house in which drinking was included. [ 21:43 ] Walk us through your first DWI. Jeff – We had gone out with all of the neighbors. Our designated driver had started drinking so I offered to drive us to the next restaurant. When I was pulled over, it was more embarrassing than anything. By 2008-2009, I was suddenly divorced and had primary care of my son. I was full of self-pity and this justified my drinking. Later that year I was out drinking and called my cous

Shane with 3 days since his last drink, shares his story….. Paul starts the show off by listing his reasons for quitting drinking: I wake up eager to start the day I'm not lying to myself anymore Because It's a progressive disease and I know the pain and misery that awaits I do not have a beer gut anymore THIQ was being deposited into my brain after every binge drinking episode which made it harder and harder to stop I do not want to get dumber. I want to get smarter. Most alcohol tastes like moldy tootsie rolls I was sick of telling myself "One day we are going to ________" Alcohol is one of the most dangerous drugs in the world and it kills more people than any other drug combined I was failing as a dog owner… big time I do not wonder if I have Alzheimer's anymore Because alcohol is shit, total and complete shit Money is neat, and I have a lot more of it now I do not black out anymore, I'm only on this planet once and I don't want to miss a thing I haven't had a serious physical injury since stopping drinking. That would be a torn hip flexor doing Limbo in 2012. No joke No more black eyes Sometimes I feel "High on Life" A diet based on calories from alcohol doesn't work. I've tried it I put an Altoids in my mouth because I like the taste, not to mask the vodka on my breath No more cavities - In those blackouts, brushing my teeth wasn't a priority for some reason My face no longer looks like a swollen pumpkin I quit because one day I would like to share my life with a very special person. Slim to no chance of that happening before My standard poodle Ben looked at me to go play on a beautiful summer day in 2014 and I was drunk in bed at 3pm on a sunny afternoon. Those eyes broke my heart. Ben, I am so sorry Alcohol was my best friend and it turned on me I couldn't stop drinking once I started I found I needed more and more alcohol to obtain the same effect I quit drinking because I heard the Brave Heart soundtrack for 3 weeks straight - When it wasn't playing, it was in my head I wasn't free Alcohol determined where I worked, who I hung out with, when I went to bed and when I woke up Music didn't look like much of anything I want to look at myself in the mirror in the morning and say "Hey, I know that guy!" I do not want to go to rehab, but if I do, I'm going to Thailand I want to stop living a life of life or death. I would probably commit suicide within 5 years and I'm not really living. It's been 8 years since I got a black eye at a bar… by a girl Girls like me now-well more than when I was talking to them cross eyed and blacked out I was sick and tired of being sick and tired My body doesn't randomly ache anymore My right elbow hurt when I swam for about 7 years. Not anymore I can now run a 7:30 mile - three of them in a row actually I do not want a DUI… okay another one Alcohol is shit. Did I mention that already? I saw Guns and Roses in Bolivia and remembered it. I saw 311 at Red Rocks and do not remember any of it. I'd like to remember concerts in the future. I wanted to stop blaming others for my problems Ulcers are painful, and I've got a several ulcers due to a compromised immune system I do not want to go to jail… okay go to jail again Shovels give me blisters, so I decided to quit digging… See what I did there? I'm AHDH and being in the moment is something I struggle with, now I've got a shot My parents just retired and I can fully be there for their golden years Alcohol wasn't cheap. Per the Recovery Elevator tracker app I've saved $11,867 I've learned to get to it, you need to go through it. Today, I feel uncomfortable feelings at face value and lean into them instead of jam them into a box only to have them explode and an inopportune moment, like my best friends bachelor party My stomach hurt from laughing 4 times 2016; from 2007-20014 that number was zero This is going to sound lame but it's the truth. At about 6 months without a drink, the childhood feeling that I can do anything I put my mind to had returned… and is still here… watch out stigma I don't want to kill myself anymore. That's pretty cool eh? I watch my favorite episodes on TV instead of being the lead actor in the drunken episodes I can play 4 Third Eye Blind Songs on the Guitar. Okay, 3.5 Stars. Holy shit. Have they always been there and so bright? It is liberating to not need a mind altering substance at social functions Depression and anxiety are unpleasant feelings. They still lurk around at times, but not for nearly as long nor as thick Turns out I do not suck at kickball or dodgeball. I was too drunk to kick or dodge the ball Being a business owner overseeing a staff of 22 is easier without a splitting headache In sobriety, I'm learning that that guy Bob was on to something and everything is gonna be alright – Hey Mon! Problems pertaining to money have pretty much dissolved Anxiety = 98% better now Shirley Temples, I have rediscovered, are the best drink known to mankind The people that I surround myself with are my true

Amelia, with 79 days since her last drink, shares her story…… According to the HBO documentary, Risky Drinking, 70% of people drink. Most drinkers fall within the following spectrum: no risk, low risk, mid risk, moderate risk, severe and death. The documentary chronicles 4 people in different stages of alcoholism. If you are drinking to fix the problem that drinking has caused, you may need to watch this program and see where you fall on the spectrum. SHOW NOTES [ 10:39 ] Paul Introduces Amelia who's last drink was on 10/10/16. [ 11:12 ] Have you had any close calls since you stopped drinking? Amelia – Not really, although I was pretty irritable during Christmas time. Instead of drinking, I just went to bed. [ 11:48 ] Tell us a little about yourself. Amelia – I was born and raised in San Francisco. I am a social worker and work with children in the foster care system. I love to watch baseball games and travel. [ 13:19 ] When did you realize that you had a problem with alcohol? Amelia – I started noticing I had a problem approximately 10 years ago, but I was always able to justify my behavior. 79 days ago, I just got sick and tired of being sick and tired! [ 14:32 ] Did you ever put rules into place to try and moderate your drinking? Amelia – I would try to drink only at night and on the weekends. After a hard days' work, I felt like I deserved it. I had not had any bad consequences yet so this helped justify my drinking. Soon I implemented the "it's 5 o'clock somewhere" mentality. [ 15:56 ] Did you have a bottom? Amelia – I was kicked out of the Peace Corp for drinking too much. It was Independence Day in the Caribbean and after drinking all day, I decided that I wanted to go home. I ended up walking 7 miles in the rain back to my apartment with a co-worker. I would also not report to the Peace Corp my location at all times and this was a requirement. [ 18:42 ] How did you get to 79 days without alcohol? Amelia – I had a phone call with my parents to wish them a Happy Anniversary. I did not remember the phone call at all the following morning. It was a total blackout. I had asked myself, "Do I really want to be this person?" I called a friend who I trusted and they encouraged me to go to an AA meeting. I felt accountable. [ 20:21 ] Tell us more about this accountability piece? Amelia – I had spoken to this same friend about my concerns with alcohol about a year before. I also spoke to my mother. She informed me that she had attended an Al-Anon meeting 1 year ago as well because she too was concerned with my drinking. [ 22:53 ] What was it like having repeated bottoms? Amelia – I never thought they were real or deep bottoms. I did not have consequences or anything taken away from me because of my drinking yet. [ 24:40 ] What do you think would happen if you drink again? Amelia – It would be just a matter of time before something really bad happened. [ 26:00 ] What is your plan going forward? Amelia – So far AA has been working. If I think about drinking, I just follow the drunk all of the way to the end. I am attending the RE Retreat in Montana so that will hold myself accountable. Soon, I would like to start working the steps. [ 30:12 ] What have you learned most about yourself? Amelia – that I can be happy and have a better life without drinking. [ 31:00 ] What advice would you give your younger self? Amelia – to look at your bottoms and see them for what they really are. I would also listen more to my mother when she told me how alcoholism runs in our family. [ 33:00 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? getting kicked out of the Peace Corp and hitting a parked car while drunk Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? one of my clients told me I smelled like alcohol and I blamed it on hand sanitizer What's your favorite resource in recovery? AA What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? follow the drunk, be gentle with yourself and say the Serenity prayer often You might be an alcoholic if….. you pee in your bed after a night of drinking Resources mentioned in this episode: Recovery Elevator Retreat Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Erik, with 67 days since his last drink, shares his story…. What exactly is alcohol and how is it created? According to the book, Beyond the Influence, by Katherine Ketcham, the basic ingredient of alcohol is yeast. Let's just call it what it is; yeast dung to be exact. The yeast eventually dies off during the fermenting process leaving alcohol in its' basic form, which is ethanol. That's right folks! We have been consuming the same ingredient that is used in lacquer and dyes. Once we drink, the alcohol quickly passes through our cell membranes and enters the blood stream. Depending on our age, gender, or whether or not we have eaten, etc., alcohol affects us all differently. Beyond just the physically changes, alcohol also affects our emotional state. It has been known to exacerbate anxiety, stress and fatigue by triggering the body to release adrenaline artificially. No wonder those hang overs are so awful! SHOW NOTES [ 10:44 ] Paul Introduces Erik and asks when was his last drink? Erik – 67 days ago and it feels good on most days [ 11:13 ] Erik tell us a little about himself. Erik – I am 31 years old and currently live in Dallas. I play and teach music and also enjoy cooking and exercise. [ 13:42 ] When did you realize you had a problem with drinking? Erik – After graduating from college, consequences started happening. I had crashed a few cars and received a few DWI's. [ 15:11 ] Did you ever try to implement rules in order to moderate your drinking? Erik – I was not real great at even putting rules into place. But I had an interlock (breathalyzer) put on my car and would try to moderate so that I could still start the car. One time I blew over the limit 3 times. I was more of a binge drinker. Once I started, I could not stop drinking. [ 17:24 ] After your probation ended, you started drinking again. What happened? Erik – When you are on probation, I think mentally you are just waiting for the time to be over. Once it is over, you can drink again. I continued to drink for 2-3 years without suffering any real consequences. [ 19:00 ] Did your drinking progress or remain the same? Erik – It progressed and I started driving when I shouldn't be again. I also started experiencing episodes of anger and rage, which was completely uncharacteristic of me. [ 20:45 ] Erik shares a recent story of a wedding he attended. Erik – I was running late for a wedding in which I was a groomsman. My mind made this a much bigger deal than it actually was so when I finally arrived, I headed straight to the bar. I stumbled to the service and was late for the photo shoot. I continued to drink and my mood kept deteriorating. After the wedding was over, I went to the after party and eventually blacked out. When I came to, I was in the middle of a brawl with a friend. I was very disappointed in myself and was worried that I had destroyed some friendships. [ 27:45 ] How did you get to 67 days without drinking? Erik – I had worked the AA program many years ago and basically got re-plugged in. I reached out to some previous people that I knew in the program, started going to meetings and got a sponsor. [ 31:00 ] Paul and Erik discuss the gift of desperation Erik – My last drinking memory was that wedding I attended. I am not sure if I can fix the damage that I did to some of those relationships. I do not want that last memory to define me. [ 32:00 ] What is your plan moving forward? Erik – I will continue to work my program, meditate and go to meetings. I would also like to start my own life now, by moving out of my parent's house and getting back on track. [ 33:33 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? wrecking 3 cars, being in jail and having to call my parents Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? One night I was playing a show in Dallas. I knew I should not have driven home but I did it anyway What's your favorite resource in recovery? AA meetings, listening to podcasts and reading. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Recovery is a process. Stay busy with projects and fill in that time that you would normally drink with different things to do. You might be an alcoholic if…. You use a blood alcohol calculator (BAC) in order to get past your car interlock ****Congratulations to our very own Brandy for reaching 1 year of sobriety**** Resources mentioned in this episode: Books – Beyond the Influence by Katherine Ketcham and Living Sober by AA Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Tricia, with 30 days since her last drink, shares her story…. Congratulations Recovery Elevator on 100 episodes! How did we make it to 100 episodes? How else, but one episode (day) at a time. Problem drinking that becomes severe is often given the medical term alcohol use disorder or AUD. Some interesting studies from the NESARC show that in 2012, 7.2% of the population surveyed had an alcohol use disorder (article found here: www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohol-health/overview-alcohol-consumption/alcohol-use-disorders.) Europe also has an organization (the ECA) who conducts alcohol related surveys. They found that although people in Southern Europe drank larger amounts of alcohol, they were able to moderate their drinking. In comparison, there were more alcohol related fatalities in Northern Europe. Could this be because of binge drinking? Perhaps the folks from the South can drink 1-2 glasses of wine with their meal while people from the North are drinking larger quantities in one sitting? We will let the ECA draw that conclusion. SHOW NOTES [ 8:23 ] Paul Introduces Tricia who's last drink was approximately 30 days ago [ 9:00 ] When did you realize you had a problem? Tricia – I knew I wasn't a normal drinker even at the age of 23. I always knew that I would have to quit one day. I never drank just for the taste, it was always to get drunk. Once I started drinking, I could not stop. [ 11:28 ] Did you ever put any rules in place in order to control your drinking? Tricia – I tried switching to a drink that I did not like. This never worked and I would end up doing shots of something else. My fellow drinker friends thought this was a great idea! I was always into fitness and nutrition so I would make sure my daily caloric intake would allow for booze. [ 15:41 ] Tell us about yourself? Tricia – I am 35 year old chef who now owns her own business. I have always been a runner but also enjoy anything in the outdoors, such as skiing and snowboarding. I like to knit and cross stitch Gangsta Rap lyrics into items for friends. My only hobby before was drinking. I would work and drink. That was it. [ 19:18 ] Did you have a bottom? Tricia – I was a high functioning alcoholic. My bottom was very high. I would always pretend that I wasn't drunk or that I didn't have a hangover. My motto was, "I've Got This." When I went on a 3 day binger, 30 days ago, I was so hung over that I could even fake it. I had to stay in bed all day. That was the first time I experienced the physical withdrawals of sweating, fever and shaking. [ 22:15 ] How did you reach the conclusion that you did not have control over alcohol? Tricia – My friends and I were going out one night and rented a party bus. I was terribly anxious for weeks up until this party. I was afraid I would drink too much and black out. The black outs were getting to be very common. I ended up drinking too much and woke up the next day with bruises all over my legs. I did not remember falling down but obviously it had happened. [ 24:48 ] Did alcohol play a role in your divorce? Tricia – there were many other factors but both my ex-husband and I drank. When we fought, we had usually both been drinking. I wasn't supposed to be the drinker of the family. My brother was the center of attention since he had the alcohol/drug problem for years. I was the over achiever who still managed to get to work on time and function normally. Until I could no longer fake it. [ 26:56 ] How did you get to day 1 without a drink? Tricia – I had not planned on stopping drinking entirely. It basically snuck up on me. I had that terrible hangover and the physical withdraw symptoms so I called my brother who is now in recovery. He is very supportive. I went on-line and found the RE podcast and starting listening and hearing similar stories. [ 30:28 ] What does a day in the life of Tricia look like? Tricia – I started going to AA meetings. I ended up being late to my first AA meeting because I went to the wrong room. The security officer at the church shouted to everyone that the AA meeting was in the other room. Even though I was 10 minutes late for that meeting, I was really 10 years late in trying AA. [ 34:51 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? the blackouts and everything that I do not remember Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? trying to moderate and being fearful that I would over indulge and put myself in danger What's your plan moving forward? Every morning I read the Big Book pp 86-88. I meditate on those pages. I am also reading a book by Tara Brock called Radical Acceptance. What's your favorite resource in recovery? AA meetings and connecting with other alcoholics What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? keep an open mind and forget everything you think you know. Do not try to do this alone. you need alcohol to do simple tasks you put vodka in your water bottle to go to the gym you think you are an alcoholic You might be an alcoholic if…. Paul ends the pod

Mona, with 2 weeks since her last drink, shares her story……. Paul starts the show by answering some "fan" mail questions about God and AA. Many listeners wonder how they can participate in AA without accepting a higher power. When the pain of drinking outweighs everything else, you just may be willing to try anything. Statistics show that alcoholism is on the rise but attendance at AA meetings is stagnant or even on a slight decline. Attendance at AA meetings may be on the decline because it is a religious based program and also because of the stigma involved (don't be a hater!). In a recent article found on TheInfluence.org, http://theinfluence.org/american-gulag-the-five-ways-hundreds-of-thousands-of-people-are-coerced-into-rehab-and-aa/ , it is discussed how people are being forced into AA or rehab, either by employers or the Courts. Legally, however, a person cannot be forced into AA because it is considered a religious program. Experience shows us that you will be more successful in a program that you choose voluntarily. So whether it is AA, SMART, Life Ring, or your own personalized plan, find a program that makes you want to live and love life. Work that program as if your life depended on it (because quite frankly, it does!). SHOW NOTES [ 10:08 ] Paul Introduces Mona She currently lives in Chicago. She is 23 years old, loves to read and create playlists. Mona is still figuring out all of the new things she likes to do now that she does not drink. [ 13:43 ] When did you realize you had a problem? Mona – it has been about 4 years in the making. When I was 19 years old, I drank way too much and was super hungover. I was totally embarrassed because my parents witnessed this. I quit alcohol for the next 30 days but knew that I was not completely done with it, [ 16:21 ] Did you ever put any rules in place to try and moderate your drinking? Mona – for 2 years I tried to manage the amount of drinks I would have in 1 sitting. I set my limit at 4 and after that I would just leave the bar. I realized I had a problem when I was putting so much energy into trying to moderate. [ 20:13 ] What was your bottom? Mona – I did not really have a rock bottom. I remember my parents had paid for this great trip to the Grand Canyon and the entire trip I was trying to keep control of my alcohol intake in front of them. The Grand Canyon was so beautiful and it just showed how messy my life had become because of alcohol. [ 21:57 ] How does it feel to be sober at 23 years old? Mona – I feel proud but also overwhelmed at the thought of never drinking again. [ 23:15 ] How did you do it? Mona – I tried will power at first and I was also seeing a therapist who I was finally honest with. So far the temptation to drink has not been too bad. My holiday work party was slightly difficult and I left early. I also started telling my close friends that I had stopped drinking. [ 26:30 ] What do you think would happen if you started drinking again? Mona – nothing productive would happen. I would be totally stagnant in my life and in my job. I would not be happy at all. [ 28:38 ] What is your plan moving forward? Mona – I am experimenting with creating my own plan of recovery. I want to explore all of my options. [ 32:52 ] What do you want to achieve in sobriety? Mona – I would like to have deeper and more authentic relationships. I want to become connected to who I really am and to go after the jobs that I really want. [ 35:07 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? After doing drugs and drinking, I had a horrible fight with a guy I was interested in. I ended up stumbling back to my apartment and just feeling totally empty. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Seeing the Grand Canyon and comparing its' beauty to my "not beautiful" life What's your plan moving forward? Creating my recovery plan What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Look for the similarities , not the differences What is your best advice for the newcomer? If you are continually thinking about alcohol or listening to recovery podcasts, have the courage to try out sobriety You might be an alcoholic if……you empty a bottle of perfume and fill it with alcohol in order to bring it on the airplane in your carry on Resources mentioned in this episode: Book of the Month – The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer http://theinfluence.org/american-gulag-the-five-ways-hundreds-of-thousands-of-people-are-coerced-into-rehab-and-aa/ Recovery Elevator Retreat Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Shaun, with 2 months since his last drink, shares his story One of the most common questions we get asked as alcoholics is, "What do you drink now that you no longer drink alcohol?" Or, "How do I fit in at social functions now?" There are plenty of tasty non-alcoholic drinks to choose from, so when water is just not cutting it, check out the list below: Shirley Temple (don't' forget to double up on the cherries!) Ginger Beer (Cock N Bull brand) Sugar Free Red Bull La Croix (basically flavored soda water) Soda water with a splash of cranberry World Market is the place to go if you are looking for a large selection of ginger beer. SHOW NOTES [ 11:48 ] Paul Introduces Shaun Shaun is 30 years old and currently living in Bozeman, MT. In his free time, he plays hockey, snowboards and coaches little league flag football [ 13:13 ] Paul asks Shaun to describe his bottom Shaun – I was drinking all day and through the night. I proceeded to drive home after fighting a friend for my keys. I drove down a very dangerous canyon and hit the guard rail with my car. The police eventually pulled me over. I woke up in the hospital and my father was there, looking very disappointed with me. [ 18:00 ] When did you realize the gravity of your drinking situation? Shaun – Even though I knew right away how bad it was, it still just seemed surreal. A few weeks went by before I realized this wasn't a dream. I went about 3 weeks without a drink. I started drinking again at my 30th birthday party and went on a 6 week bender. I then started to just slow down on my own. I was suffering from deep depression, had walked away from my job, and realized that I was not attaining the goals I had set out for myself. [ 21:54 ] What do you think would happen if you started drinking again? Shaun – I would be right back to where I was before. I really do not want to know. [ 23:00 ] What were your drinking habits like? How much did you drink? Shaun – I was your typical college drinker. When I started drinking, I was ready to party. My drinking escalated when I moved to Bozeman. [ 25:47 ] What was your depression like while drinking? Shaun – My depression was usually triggered by the hangovers. I would think to myself, "What could I have done instead of drinking?" I would feel worthless about myself the next day. Alcohol just kept the depression going. Without alcohol, mild depression is still there but overall I feel more even keel and it is easier to deal with. [ 27:39 ] How about anxiety? Shaun – My anxiety was also heavily triggered by booze. It is still with me now, but has lessened greatly. Normally after a night of drinking, I would feel totally anxious and would end up with the "screw it's," it's time to drink this away. [ 29:00 ] How did you get sober? Shaun – I just took it day by day. I would think that today may suck but tomorrow will be better. I told many of my friends that I had stopped drinking. Some of these friends understood, while others are still waiting for me to start drinking again (they are no longer friends). I also tried to keep focused on my goals and my profession. Alcohol does not fit within my goals anymore. [ 32:00 ] What is your plan moving forward? Shaun – I will continue to surround myself with positive peers, see my therapist, and basically build a new friend base that does not revolve around alcohol. [ 34:00 ] What is it like getting sober at a young age? Shaun – It is very hard. Beer seems to follow all activities but I am trying to make new sober friends. You have to work through the uncomfortable feelings of being in a situation and not drinking. [ 39:35 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? After a birthday party, I punched my buddy in the head and he proceeded to throw me down the stairs. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? When I would make jokes about being an alcohol and suddenly stop laughing because I knew it was me. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Hitting the gym What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Just take it day to day. Win the fight for that day. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Just start. Start talking to people about your problem. You might be an alcoholic if……you make jokes about being an alcoholic but stop laughing because you know you are talking about yourself. Resources mentioned in this episode: Recovery Elevator Retreat Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] If you are in the LA area on 1/22/17, Paul will be talking at a "This is My Brave" event. The event will be held at the Moss Theater in Santa Monica. Just google the event to search for tickets. "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Bubba, with 1 year since his last drink, shares his story. SHOW NOTES Cognitive dissonance = the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change. "First they ignore you, than they laugh at you, than they fight you, than you win." Sobriety is measured one day at a time and if we take it slowly, we will be the winner. Tell your addiction this quote, over and over again. Our minds keep telling us the tricky stories that keep us drinking. This is exhausting. It's like holding 2 conflicting beliefs. How can we break through these conflicting beliefs? Hang out with people that are on the same path as you. Educate yourself. Read, read, and read some more. [ 8:51] Paul Introduces Bubba. Bubba has been sober for 1 year and he's feeling great. He had been drinking so long that he did not realize just how much it was affecting his life until he quit. He enjoys photography, the outdoors and riding his Harley. He has also lost approximately 46 pounds during this past year. [12:04] When did you realize you had a problem with alcohol? Bubba – one of my earliest memories was when I came out as gay at the age of 29. I thought that I wouldn't drink as much since I no longer had that stress. I thought it would be the magic switch but I still continued to drink. About 4 years ago, I started to try and moderate. This did not work. For the next 2 years I was always telling myself that I could drink that night and stop the following day. [14:14] What was your bottom? Bubba – one day I starting drinking at 6am and just kept going. Instead of going to bed, I continued moving from bar to bar and did not make it to work. The next day I woke up and was officially done. My journey had started. [16:35 ] What were some of the rules you tried to put in place in order to moderate your drinking? Bubba – I'm not going to drink during the week and this will satisfy my desire to drink. My drinking voice had become so strong that it just over rode any common sense. My conscience mind knew I was doing something wrong, but my un-conscience mind wanted to continue drinking [17:45 ] What were you feeling that day after your all night drinking bend? Bubba – I was so hungover it was unbelievable. I had just had enough and couldn't take it anymore. [20:00] How did you stay sober during that first month? Bubba – I listened to RE podcasts back to back. That really kept me going that first week. I kept telling myself to try for another week, and then try again for another week. I had to keep convincing myself that I was not going to drink. I had friends wondering why I wasn't at the bar. These are no longer my friends. They were just my bar friends. [21:56] How does it feel to be so open about being gay as well as open about being in recovery? Bubba – feels fantastic!! Being so open helps me to be accountable. My friends and family all know what I am doing and it helps keep me sober. Defining myself as an alcoholic was surprising to some people since I was just known as a heavy drinker. I knew that I had a problem and that was the important thing. [25:00 ] Describe your relationship with your grandmother Bubba – I was self- medicating for the pain that my grandmother made me feel. She was able to make you feel horrible very easily. Constant little digs. I would try to avoid being with her which caused tension among family members. At some point you have to learn to just let it go. [27:45 ] What are your recovery tools now? Bubba – keeping myself busy, workout every day, spend quality time with my friends. I also utilize what other Café RE members are doing and saying. [ 29:57 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Waking up in my lazy boy covered in beer too many times Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Whenever I would wake up the next morning and say to myself, "Oh shit, I drank too much last night." What's your favorite resource in recovery? Café RE, I'm trying to also integrate AA meetings into my life What is your plan moving forward? Continue to do what I do, maybe more charity work, trying to be helpful to others, and just keep moving on What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? You are the only 1 who can force yourself not to drink everyday What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Stick with it, it does get better, things that you do not even know are wrong now will correct themselves You might be an alcoholic if….. you slam 6 beers before you go to the bar because you do not want to have to wait once you get there. "Spread your Wings and Fly – Focus on What You Can Do" Resources mentioned in this episode: Book of the month = The Untethered Soul by Michael A Singer Connect with Cafe RE For $12.00 per month, you can unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meetups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel. First month FREE wit

Wynn, with 28 years of sobriety, shares his story... SHOW NOTES Tis the season to be jolly and sober….. What are the differences between food cravings and alcohol cravings? Our gut sends signals that tell us to eat. We can only go 14 days without food and 80% of our serotonin is created in our gut. This feeling is very similar when we are craving a drink. The mind starts chirping and gives us false ideas of how good a drink would be. The problem is that when we start drinking, the need is never satiated with only 1 drink and thus the saga continues. The main things to keep in mind is that food keeps us alive. Alcohol is nothing more than a poison in its' basic form. Food also helps build muscle. Alcohol transforms your body into Barney from The Simpsons. We all needed food to survive from the beginning of our lives. Obviously we can survive without alcohol. Finally, food satiates our hunger cravings. Alcohol cravings are never satisfied until we are beaten to a pulp. [ 6:20 ] Paul Introduces Wynn. Wynn is a retired engineer. He has been married 3 times and has a total of 5 children. He currently lives a wonderful life in sobriety, although in his previous life he did many "unlawful" things in which he was never caught. [ 9:15 ] When did you realize that you had a problem with alcohol? Wynn – the first time I drank was at 12 years old and it just felt magical. I soon became known as wino Wynn. I came from a good family. Neither of my parents were alcoholics however, the disease was there with my aunts and uncles. Unfortunately my brother was also an alcoholic and his life ended too soon. [ 14:22 ] Paul asks Wynn, "How do we know when alcohol is trying to convince us that we do not have a problem." Wynn – you will know when the change happens. Recognize the pain and do not hide from it. Own your problems. Your HP is showing you what your pain points are. [ 18:00 ] Wynn discusses an interesting visit with his psychiatrist. Wynn – my psychiatrist was asking me what I thought was important. I told her that my car, my money, and my house were important to me. She asked if I knew exactly, down to the penny, how much money I had in my account. I could not tell her. She then asked me if I knew how much booze I had at my house. I was able to tell her the amount and type of alcohol, down to the drop, that I currently had in my home. I realized that there was nothing in my life that I kept track of, like I kept track of alcohol. [ 19:00 ] When was your bottom? Wynn – I was putting up a new house and borrowed money from some shady characters. I signed a life insurance policy as collateral and walked away with a paper bag full of money. I knew that that bag of money would be my coffin if I did not pay it back. If I drank that money away, I would be dead. Once the house was completed, I paid the money back and tore up the life insurance policy. I started to read The Big Book and found it incredible. [ 24:00 ] What did you do then? Wynn – Even though I was talking the talk of AA, I was not walking the walk. I had lost my house, my family and my companies. I was 3 years into AA when I finally got a sponsor. [ 25:32 ] Paul discusses terminal uniqueness and how dangerous it can be. Wynn – you have to be trustworthy enough to believe that your HP will take care of you. Everything that happens is exactly how it is supposed to happen. You have to pay attention. I soon realized that my problem with misery was really about myself. I had fear, control and domination issues. We cannot play God. God is willing to be anything we need him to be. [33:23] Paul asks Wynn if he has every had a close call in 28 years. Wynn – Yes, I was at the airport and had just been fired. There were no flights outbound and the clerk literally poured me a shot of whiskey. He was handing me my new ticket in 1 hand and the shot of whiskey in the other. I found myself reaching for both when suddenly I heard a voice that told me not to reach for the glass of whiskey. I grabbed the ticket and left. [ 36:40 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Jail Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Too many times I woke up in the hospital or jail. What's your plan moving forward? Keep redoing the 10th step What's your favorite resource in recovery? All of my sponsees' who stay sober and watch them carry on the message What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Stop digging and put down your shovel You might be an alcoholic if? You know more about the quality and quantity of alcohol at home, than you do anything else. [ 41:00 ] Paul ends the show with a shout out to Brandy – for hitting her 1 year of sobriety mark. He also shares a story about a recent airplane experience. A flight from Orlando to Denver reinforces Paul's conviction to remain alcohol free. It is never fun to have to sit next to 2 drunks on a plane. Even worse is to be escorted from the plane by the police. Resources mentioned in this episode: RE Retreat – Bozeman Mont

Melissa, with 1 month of sobriety, shares her story... SHOW NOTES It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…. Many of us believe that we cannot quit drinking. "I am the life of the party, that's just who I am!" (I bet the crowd around us would beg to differ but that's besides' the point.) Life will not be fun if I do not drink. Yeah right- blackouts, hangovers, depression, and anxiety; now that is fun. Paul reviews the time in his life when he owned a bar in Spain. You heard correctly. Paul C = Bar Owner. Seems like an entire lifetime ago. Listed below are the pros and cons of that time period in Spain: Pro's - I didn't die, it accelerated me towards my bottom, I learned to play some fancy Flamenco guitar chords Con's – Ambien and booze are not a good combo, missed out on many opportunities/road trips with the senoritas, playing football after being awake for 30 hours straight (the next Peyton Manning? I think not), blackouts, blackouts, and more blackouts, DUI, re-introducing myself to a previous hookup (ouch!), contemplating a 5th floor sky dive [ 8:38 ] Paul Introduces Melissa. How long have you been sober? Melissa – 30 days. Melissa explains her background. She is a bartender, married, with 4 children. During her free time, she likes to go to the gym. Paul asks Melissa what it is like being a bartender. Melissa has been in "The Industry" all of her life (Industry = restaurant, club or bar scene). She felt that bartending would be the way to go early on because of her love of drinking and it seemed fun. Melissa's family are serious drinkers so she grew up in that environment. She thought normal drinking was boring. Melissa states that when you are in "The Industry" you tend to share similar stories of drinking and it justifies your own behavior. [ 13:54 ] What is it like bartending with 30 days of sobriety? Melissa – It's been easier since I left Las Vegas and now live in Pennsylvania. The environment is also easier. I work in a fine dining establishment instead of a Las Vegas casino. I am used to going through shifts without drinking but would always drink after my shift ended. One of my go to drinks was a kids' cup filled with ice and straight vodka. Five minutes from home, I would down it. [ 17:54 ] Staying sober is easy when drunk people are idiots Paul and Melissa swap stories about working in the industry surrounded by drunk people. Do your local DJ a favor and do not request any more Michael Jackson songs! [ 18:47 ] What was your bottom? Melissa – I was attending a birthday party and had brought my 14 year old daughter and her friend. We were staying at a hotel so there were no limits. My daughter and her friend had to come get me from the bar downstairs. She video-taped me while feeding me chicken nuggets. I was a mess and my daughter thought it was hysterical. I didn't want her thinking that that situation was OK. Our family culture was turning into a dangerous life. [ 23:55 ] Paul and Melissa discuss the tragic death of her sister Melissa – she was drinking and driving and attempted to go around the car in front of her. Her car was hit. The accident caused her to break her neck. She was only 21 years old when she was killed. My sister's story, however, did not stop me from continuing to drink. Paul – we have all had plenty of "You would have thought (…insert tragic event here…) moments that should have stopped us from drinking. Fear can get you sober but it cannot keep you sober. Melissa reviews her history of trying AA and remaining alcohol free for 2 years. During that time she picked up a pill addiction. After 2 years she was drinking and taking pills. She weaned herself off of the pills and suffered heavy withdrawal systems. She did not think she was an alcoholic because she was able to stop while pregnant with all of her children. Once the children were born, however, the pressure of motherhood soon had her reaching for the wine bottle. [ 32:48 ] How have you made it to 30 days? Melissa – RE podcast, constantly reminding myself of my worst drunk moments and comradery with other recovering alcoholics. [ 42:35 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Celebrating my 36th birthday and waking up in the hospital not remembering a thing Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Too many CRS (can't remember shit) moments. What's your plan moving forward? To find a local AA meeting and do the 12 steps. Time to locate those weeds and pull them out! What's your favorite resource in recovery? Listening to the Big Book will driving and listening to various recovery podcasts What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Inside of every alcoholic's home are 2 doors with different paths. Behind door #1, there is a monkey who is going to kick your ass down a shorter path. Behind door #2, there is simply a longer path. It's time to choose door #2! You might be an alcoholic if? You have company over and you are sneaking gulps of vodka in between your glasses of wine. [

John with 17 years of sobriety and Adrianne with 11 years, share how they did it. This is their story... SHOW NOTES According to the American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM), addiction is a brain disorder, not a behavioral problem. This is nothing new so why are we still talking about it? Probably because even though society is starting to finally believe that addiction is a disease and not a moral failing, the stigma attached to addicts remains the same. Wake up people! The studies have shown that addiction can be defined as a primary disease, not an emotional or psychological problem. Our brains become rewired and our choice to pick up flies right out the window when we are in active addiction. Our real choice happens when we reach out for help. It is never too early to reach out. [ 8:27 ] Paul Introduces John and Adrianne, authors of The Painting and the Piano. John, sober since 1/5/99 and Adrienne, sober since 7/11/05 currently live in Florida. For the past 3 years they have been working on their story of survival and love. Their book, The Painting and the Piano is like a divine intervention of how they first met and their lives together through the recovery process. John feels that they were chosen to get sober and to pass this on to others. [ 17:00 ] What was your bottom? Adrianne – my daughter had to go to the ER after an accident at school. I stopped home before going to the hospital in order to get my pills. I didn't know how long I would be at the hospital with her and was afraid I would be sick without my pills. My need for the drugs was more powerful than getting my injured child to the ER. John – driving out of my driveway and seeing my 2 small children looking through the window at me. I knew I was leaving to get another drink and going to have a possible affair. I left anyway and that memory still haunts me of their faces. Looking at myself in the mirror and seeing an 80 year old man looking back was another bottom. I had 3 DWI's, was losing my business, my friends and was drinking around the clock without bothering to eat. [ 20:11 ] Do you feel that you can skip any steps in the recovery process? Adrianne – No, all of the steps you go through were meant to happen and lead you towards your bottom. This needs to happen. John – Everyone's bottom is different and how we get there is also different. [ 23:00 ] John talks about patience Take time in your relationships. Advised to wait for 1 year before dating. Patience is super important. Let patience be your virtue. 12 steps should be looked at as an opportunity for personal growth [ 26:53 ] What is on your bucket list for sobriety? John and Adrianne – this book, educating others on the steps and the AA culture, doing more podcasts, and helping as many people recover as possible. Adrianne – I would also love to work in the judicial system. There are so many children that are pulled from dysfunctional homes, only to be placed back in them too soon. John – I believe that 95% of our issues go back to some type of childhood trauma. So what happened to privileged Paul C who grew up in Vali Colorado? Hmmm, might have to think that one over a bit. [ 30:00 ] Adrianne shares about her physical pain I was born addicted to heroin. Later on after years of back pain, I became addicted to pills. All of the surgeries lead to harder addictions. It was a perfect storm of the emotional "F it's" [ 34:14 ] What advice would you give your younger selves? Adrianne – stay off the pity pot! John – there is no shame in asking for help. Do it now. Change 1 thing every day. [ 38:25 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Adrianne – When I stopped home before going taking my daughter to the hospital in order to get my pills. John – the memory of my children's faces as I drove out of the driveway on my way to drink Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Adrianne – breaking down in front of my counselor and realizing I had a problem. John – drinking in the mornings just to stop the shakes What's your plan moving forward? Adrianne – continue to be of service. John – reaching just 1 person, paying it forward. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Adrianne – don't be afraid to ask for help. John – stick around for the miracle Resources mentioned in this episode: www.paintingpiano.com www.asam.org Connect with Cafe RE For $12.00 per month, you can unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meetups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel. First month FREE with Promo Code Elevator. Promo Code: Elevator recoveryelevator.com/survey Sobriety Tracker Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Stephanie has been sober for nearly 5 years... This is her story… Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE! SHOW NOTES Why do some go down the path of alcoholism faster than others? Why do the wheels come off at different times for all of us? Is it an 'addictive personality' disorder? Well, truth is, we can't find real scientific evidence to prove that an 'addictive personality' is a real thing. What we do know is that genetic makeup combined with environmental factors that someone is living with have huge factors in whether or not someone will become addicted to alcohol. For Paul, the wheels came off right around age 21, but there is no way to determine if and when someone will become addicted to alcohol. There are many envrionmental factors that can slow down or speed up this factor... [ 7:25 ] Paul introduces Stephanie. Stephanie has been sober for almost 5 years. She got sober December 31st, 2011. She is 33 and from Alabama. Stephanie works in a Bradford treatment center. She loves to run, kayak and hangout with her family. [ 8:12 ] Do you have a pink cloud? Stephanie tries to make her own 'pink cloud' every day in that she looks for the positive in everything. She is aware of the things she is grateful for and recognizes where she could be if she didn't have her sobriety. [ 14:09 ] Stephanie talks about her drinking experience and the associated health problems that she dealt with. [ 23:04 ] Stephanie's Mom and Dad took her to a treatment center on December 30th, 2011. [ 24:39 ] Do you think you could've gotten sober without rehab? "For me, I don't think I could. I had to be removed from my situation, completely removed. I had tried little things here and there, but I didn't know coping mechanisms. I know people can do it, but I just know that I couldn't have done it." [ 25:35 ] Stephanie talk about her program. Stephanie was able to relate to the AA program. She has had the same sponsor for almost 4 1/2 years. "It was necessary for me." [ 26:41 ] Can you pinpoint one rock bottom moment? "After totalling my car and trying to hide it..." Stephanie was making frequent trips to the liquor store to buys half pints of vodka. When she started drinking in the morning, she realized something had the change. [ 33:04 ] Walk us through a day in the life of Stephanie. "Usually I wake up and do a reading from the Hazeldon Foundation and I use an app called 'My Spiritual Toolkit. I also have a page saved on my phone which has a prayer for each step. Then I'll take some quiet time. I'm not very good at meditation." Stephanie takes time to herself in the mornings. She gets up early and tries to go for a run before heading into work. At work, she tries to take 3-4 minutes just to breath and calm down. At the end of the day, Stephanie takes time to reflect on her day, looking for the positive and places where she can do better tomorrow. "I try to get a lot of sleep. I need my 8 hours of sleep and my prayer and meditation time." [ 36:09 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? "Pancreatitis... That was pretty horrible." What's your plan in sobriety moving forward? "To not stay stagnant. To change and grow and try to help others as much as possible." What's your favorite resource in recovery? "The Big Book, My Spiritual Toolkit and that prayer page." What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? "Continue. Make a continuous effort to put one foot in front of the other." What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? "Do it. Seek treatment if you can. Ask for help and know that you don't have to be alone." "You Might be an Alcoholic If…" "...You are waking up drinking vodka a 6am and hiding bottles all throughout your room!" Resources mentioned in RE 93: Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ Connect with Cafe RE For $12.00 per month, you can have unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meet-ups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel. First month FREE with Promo Code: Elevator. Hazeldon Foundation Digital Resources My Spiritual Toolkit Podcast Resource Info - 'Addiction now defined as brain disorder, not behavior issue' "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up. WE can do this!" Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here!

Sara, with 5 months and 10 days of sobriety, tells us how she did it. [9:21] Paul introduces Sara Sara has been sober for 5 months and 10 days, or a total of 163 days. Sara is feeling better than she has ever felt, which is a common response in early recovery. Sobriety has not been all wonderful colors, tastes, and smells. Sara's experience so far has been overall great, but not without challenges; she has had to overcome some adversity. Which is a very big foundational pillar of life, as nothing comes easy in sobriety, and getting sober is a blind leap of faith. Sara is originally from Louisiana, currently living in New Jersey, she is a psychiatrist who is married with no children. For fun, she does everything she used to do but is learning to do it sober. One of her best sober activities she has enjoyed was attending a Coldplay concert, in which she remembered every single minute. The concert was amazing, as was Sara's first sober football game, feeling every emotion so much more. One not so cool activity in sobriety was joining friends bar hopping after a football game. Sara struggled, but realized she is no longer "that guy" and could drive home sober. [13:21 ] Talk to us about your Elevator. When did you hit bottom? Sara made small attempts to stop two years prior to her sobriety date. During that time, she read a book titled "Freedom from Addiction," which inspired her; only until an invite to socialize and drink. She would start again and not be able to stop. Eventually, Sara was at a happy hour followed by dinner with lots of drinking. She thought she was good to drive home. She ended up in an accident after which the entire night was a blur. Realizing that she could lose her life and career, even though there were no legal ramifications involved. Sara realized how lucky she was to come out of that situation safe and not in a legal battle. Paul shares his driving while intoxicated experiences. Sara woke up the next day and through the next week she was dazed and confused her memory was foggy as she was self-blaming herself. Everting in her life was going well other than drinking, she questioned why she was sacrificing everything for drinking. [16:27] How much did you drink? Sara drank vodka in airplane size bottles, they were easier to consume, leaving no evidence. She would usually drink a few throughout the day, over time it progressed. Her consumption amounts were often up and down, Sara was never one that could have just one or two at dinner, she would always continue drinking through the night. When she decided to stop drinking, she was up to 6-7 drinks per night, and was starting early in the day. For Sara, her disease progression was more about the time of day she started rather than the amount. Usually a couple glasses of wine and some shots of alcohol. Sara tried to put multiple plans of control in place; only drink on the weekend, only after work, no hard liquor. Paul realizes the question of control is a dumb question. The thought that one day we can drink normal must be dismissed. [19:38] How did you do it? Walk us through the first day, the first week. Sara's first week she doesn't remember much, but had a lot of family events and weddings with open bars where she was put to the test. After she got through all the events without a drink, she wondered why she drank when she was loving everything she was doing sober not understanding why she ever started in the first place. Sara's first few months have been filled with new activities; biking, hiking, gym. She has replaced drinking with trying new things. [21:00] Tell us about your program. Sara didn't enlist any kind of program. Yet, even before the accident she was listening to sobriety podcasts, as she was contemplating sobriety. Sara then found RE which became her program. While doing her morning routine she has the podcast playing as her preferred recovery resource, along with fitness and other new routines. Paul reminds us that willpower is exhaustible and finite, eventually running out, leading to relapse. We need a daily affirmation to remember why you don't drink. [24:07] Sara shares her fears about being "found out" on the podcast: Being a psychiatrist and worried about people learning of her addiction. A lot of friends still don't understand, and see alcoholics as worst case scenario. Images of bums is the picture normal people have. Sara knows that is not alcoholics are like, but struggles with the stigma even though she knows that is ridiculous. Paul sees Sara's alcoholism as an untapped asset in her career. Sara chats with addicts face to face in a hospital setting and listens to their struggles. Many of her patients have been through been recovery. Sara's advice to her patients is to take it one day at a time, she tells them about podcasts as many haven't found a program. She is also able to offer resources that she uses herself. Paul suggests she uses her own experiences. Sara hopes to get to that point. She remembers to fo

Sasha has been sober for just over 5 years... This is her story… Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE! SHOW NOTES 12 ways to help you stay sober through the holidays. Last year, in Episode 43, I introduced a long list of ways to stay sober, and now, it's a year later. This holiday season, don't beat yourself up! Maybe you only get 1 day, but shoot for all the days, and if you miss a day, get back on the wagon without beating yourself up... Be kind to yourself. The holidays are about giving, give yourself kindness. 12 Ways to Stay Sober Through the Holidays: Meditation - All of the following activities have a meditative and creative quality; guitar, piano, painting, woodwork, organizing, stuffing envelopes, whatever it is for you. Set a timer and chill-out for 10 minutes Headspace App Water - Hydrate! First thing I do in the morning is drink about 35 oz of lemon water. Give yourself a Hall Pass! I plan on eating 70% of the pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving Dinner this year Exercise for 10 min during the first hour of the day. I stretch, do band work, and pushups. Practice visualization. I practice saying no to drinks and practice making good decisions in my sobriety. Tell someone no and put yourself first, i.e. "I will not be driving your ass around on NYE." Shovel snow or push dirt around. Think, "Service, service, service." Talk to yourself. Start doing something small and then in two years tell me how much of a difference that has made in your life. Turtle and not the hare. I'm playing the long game. Connect with your Community daily - Café RE. Share! [ 12:34 ] Paul introduces Sasha. Sasha's last drink was a couple days before Sept. 2nd, 2011...Sasha is from Washington D.C. She is 31 and has her own coaching business. For fun she likes to hangout at home in her pajamas, being a mega-introvert! [ 14:38 ] Talk to us about your Elevator. When did you hit bottom? September of 2011 was the culmination of a long summer of heavy partying. "I was sitting in my therapists office with my head in my hands trying to recap my summer which I couldn't remember. My therapist handed me an AA flyer and slowly I started going to a weekly meeting." [ 17:01 ] How much did you drink? Talk to us about your drinking habits. "I was an all or nothing binge drinker. I probably partied one night on, one night off. When I went out, I drank as much as I possibly could. As soon as I had 2 or 3 drinks there was a switch, there was no off button." [ 27:17 ] How did you do it? Walk us through the first day, the first week. "I dropped into an AA meeting to listen. I heard stories of human suffering, pain and joy. It was like a humanities class. People were honest and really told the truth about how they were feeling." Sasha talks about how isolating alcohol is and the antidote was really learning to connect and let her walls down. Sasha was going to one 'speaker' meeting a week. She got a sponsor after 10 mos. [ 30:43 ] Sasha talks about her experience as a 'dry drunk'. [ 31:07 ] Tell us about your program. "Principles of recovery flow throughout my day. I like to let things flow. I wake up with a prayer. I have daily readers (an app and a book) that set the tone for my day. I make several 12-step meetings a week and try to meditate for 10 mins. a day." Sasha also does yoga. Yoga has been crucial to her recover journey, connecting mind, body and soul. [ 40:02 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? "The summer before my freshman year of high school. I drank 2 beers and passed out." Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? "Chronic stress from acting so poorly." What's your plan moving forward? "Sit with my self. Sobriety is all about staying with myself." What is your favorite resource in recover? "The Hazelden App. The books "The Language of Letting Go" and "Journey to the Heart," both by Melody Beattie. Yoga and 12-step meetings." What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? "When in doubt sober is always a better choice. Sobriety never hurt anyone." "You Might be an Alcoholic If…" "You spend an inordinate amount of time trying to convince yourself that you're not an alcoholic." Resources mentioned in RE 91: Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ Connect with Cafe RE For $12.00 per month, you can have unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meet-ups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel. First month FREE with Promo Code: Elevator. Connect with Sasha: www.sashaptozzi.com Hazelden App The Language of Letting Go - by Melody Beattie Journey to the Heart - by Melody Beattie "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up. WE can do this!" Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.co

Christine has been sober for 129 days... This is her story… Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE! SHOW NOTES What is a dry drunk? It is someone who just doesn't drink anymore, who has 'quit' using sheer willpower... ***Spoiler Alert*** Willpower eventually runs out. We need a program, something and someone to fall back on to support us. Your program can look completely unique to yourself and doesn't just have to be AA (although many do recommend it). When you quit using sheer willpower, sure, you become healthier, physically feeling like you've been born again and the memory of passing out in a Cracker Barrel buffet line begins to fade. You'll start to gain confidence in your recent found 'sober' success and you say to yourself, "I did this. I quit. I got this." (Uh-oh, those three little words, think RE #86... Problem right there!) Eventually, we will forget entirely about the Cracker Barrel buffet line, which is a problem because, A – their cornbread is fantastic and, B – that was the reason you quit drinking. That was not a highlight in your life. Studies show that humans have selective memory and we tend to remember the good things (i.e. the Cornbread) and not the bad things (i.e. the Ambulance, the Buffet Line, and the Cracker Barrel experience). As a dry drunk, when we quit drinking, our genius plan is to simply not drink, thinking that one day we'll be able to drink normally again. If you have this thought, don't worry, every alcoholic has, but the dry drunks don't ever address this or relinquish the thought. The key is to surrender. This is what I call 'white knuckling it'. I think everyone is white knuckling it when they quit drinking but the dry drunks keep white knuckling it. Right about the time when all the physical healing has taken place (for me, it took over a year), is when the true white knuckling takes place. It's when Gary (Paul's alter-ego) starts to make an appearance. It's when 'we' start having the internal dialogue of justification. It's when our unconscious minds have seen the barrage of alcohol adds on social media, television, and everywhere else our open eyes and ears look. This is when the cognitive dissonance starts to take place... Translation, we need help! We can't do this alone... [ 08:12 ] Paul introduces Christine. Christine's last drink was June 13th of 2016, about 129 days ago. She has been sober for just over 4 months. Christine grew up in a small town in central Michigan. She is now studying chemistry at Montana State University and is almost finished with her Ph.D. She loves hunting, fishing, camping and anything else outside... [ 09:23 ] Paul talks about first meeting Christine in 2011 when he was a dry drunk and how she helped him in 2014 to make a change after hitting his bottom. Christine remembers that Paul was hurting so badly and she was so glad that Paul gave her a call. There were lots of tears, lots and lots of tears (and it wasn't just the horses and pastures they were passing causing an allergic reaction) as they drove down canyon from Big Sky Ski Resort where Paul was DJ-ing a wedding. Christine urged Paul to call his mom, dad, and brother, to seek support... Christine has been an integral part of Paul's sobriety. [ 14:03 ] Talk to us about your Elevator. What was your bottom? "Bottoms are always defined differently... I had decided back in December of 2015 to quit drinking. I stopped drinking for 2 weeks before deciding that I wasn't a 'quitter'! I picked right up where I left off. I wasn't fully committed, I hadn't taken the steps I needed." In June, Christine had a "what am I doing with my life" moment on her way to fishing... She had a couple beers on the road and stopped to let the dog out before getting to the fishing spot, where she realized that her bottle of whiskey had spilled everywhere. "I was horrified, my heart started to flutter and I started to panic..." On the way back from fishing, Christine smacked a deer. This really opened her eyes as so much more could have gone wrong... Christine took this as a sign that it was time to make a change. [17:51 ] How did you do it? Walk us through the first day, the first week. "Those first few days were such a blur. I started intensive outpatient therapy (IOP)... I was a wreck. The IOP really helped. I had a friend in West Yellowstone who I relied on heavily during my early days of sobriety. I spent a lot of time on the fishing boat out in the middle of nowhere." [ 19:36 ] Christine comments on how important it is to get outdoors... "Fly fishing has just become my absolute passion. To this day, anytime I feel wrong, or off, or I have cravings, I throw whatever I'm doing to the side and head to the river." Since being sober, Christine has not torn any waders or taken any 'accidental' swims in 43 degree weather! Fishing has taught Christine the beauty of being totally pres