Recovery Elevator

Jeff, who has been sober since Dec 5, 2016, shares his story…… Paul starts the show recounting his 2 weeks visiting Hope Rehab in Thailand. (www.hope-rehab-center-thailand.com) What I learned in Rehab People came for other drugs but quickly realize that alcohol was the real issue Most people were still in denial of their addiction and will not stay sober A lot of the clients were just going through the motions Addiction does not segregate; there were people from 4 continents, lawyers' doctors, social workers, accountants, etc. Thailand is hot and wild pythons are a real thing Alcohol is communal. I have the same story as a guy in Malaysia and we had an instant connection within 5 minutes We are the lucky ones Some people are close to hitting the "fuck it" button at all times If you experience mild depression once, you have a 16% higher chance of experiencing it again. It takes your body 3 days to recuperate from 20 minutes of stress The old saying, "It takes 21 days to learn a new habit," is a myth. It really takes 66 days. Once a habit's circuity is created it can never be unlearned, but a new habit can be started. NVC or non-violent communication is the way to solve 99.4% of problems. Watching TV does not lower cortisol levels, but reading does Cortisol from stress impairs learning new things and problem solving The ego lives in the past and future, only the heart can live in the moment Even though the Recovery Elevator podcast is free and rehab may/may not be free, we've all paid a tremendous price with our pain and suffering The road to and in recovery narrows The problem is not the problem We need to find a way to stop the relationship with the chemical alcohol. It boils down to us not being satisfied I am not powerful and I am not special when it comes to alcohol. Step 0 = Trying everything to drink like a normal person (moderation, only beer, no hard alcohol, etc.) To quit drinking, we only need to quit one thing. Everything! The solution to quitting drinking is to have a spiritual experience without alcohol You must find a higher power and it cannot be yourself. Your ego is not your amigo! There is a lot of laughter in rehab People stop maturing emotionally and spiritually once addiction takes hold Resentments are offensively dangerous You do not have a chance at sobriety unless responsibility falls on your own shoulders Buddhism basically consists of 5 pillars that prevent harm to ourselves and others There is an AA waltz; 1 step, 2 step, 3 step drink. That damn 4th step. Addicts and alcoholics are a sensitive group of people. I was a summer camp counselor in 2007 and it felt at times we were dealing with teenagers. Tammy said this, and Roger said that. Sometimes we will worry over not having anything to worry about. Don't worry Paul, there will always be something to worry about We tend to not relapse over divorce, bankruptcy, or a family death. A broken shoelace? Bring on a drink! A counselor asked a group to do an exercise each night for 1 week. The following week only 20% of the participants had done as the counselor has asked. The counselor then responded with "and that is why only 20% of you will stay sober after rehab, the majority don't go through the work." My addiction told me that I didn't need to do the rehab work since I have been sober for over 2 years. Nice try Gary (my addiction). SHOW NOTES [ 9:28 ] Jeff's full e-mail to Paul is posted on the Recovery Elevator blog www.recoveryelevator.com [ 10:30 ] Tell us a little about yourself and when your last drink was. Jeff – My last drink was on 12/4/16. I am originally from Denver, married and have a 17 year old son. I am entrepreneur who likes to fish and wakeboard. [ 11:48 ] Did you ever try to put rules in place in order to control your drinking? Jeff – I really had not tried to stop until this past fall. I would only spend a specified amount of money on alcohol or only drink on the weekends. This tango dance with booze never worked. [ 14:08 ] Why do you call yourself a high bottom drinker? Jeff – It took me a long time to label myself as a problem drinker. I got married young, I owned a small business, and was a normal drinker for a long time. I was able to justify my drinking because my life was good up to a point. [ 17:57 ] When did you realize that you were not a normal drinker? Jeff – By my late 20's, my drinking was really progressing. I was living for the weekend parties with my neighbors. This was normal behavior among all of us. We would also hold church services at the house in which drinking was included. [ 21:43 ] Walk us through your first DWI. Jeff – We had gone out with all of the neighbors. Our designated driver had started drinking so I offered to drive us to the next restaurant. When I was pulled over, it was more embarrassing than anything. By 2008-2009, I was suddenly divorced and had primary care of my son. I was full of self-pity and this justified my drinking. Later that year I was out drinking and called my cous

Shane with 3 days since his last drink, shares his story….. Paul starts the show off by listing his reasons for quitting drinking: I wake up eager to start the day I'm not lying to myself anymore Because It's a progressive disease and I know the pain and misery that awaits I do not have a beer gut anymore THIQ was being deposited into my brain after every binge drinking episode which made it harder and harder to stop I do not want to get dumber. I want to get smarter. Most alcohol tastes like moldy tootsie rolls I was sick of telling myself "One day we are going to ________" Alcohol is one of the most dangerous drugs in the world and it kills more people than any other drug combined I was failing as a dog owner… big time I do not wonder if I have Alzheimer's anymore Because alcohol is shit, total and complete shit Money is neat, and I have a lot more of it now I do not black out anymore, I'm only on this planet once and I don't want to miss a thing I haven't had a serious physical injury since stopping drinking. That would be a torn hip flexor doing Limbo in 2012. No joke No more black eyes Sometimes I feel "High on Life" A diet based on calories from alcohol doesn't work. I've tried it I put an Altoids in my mouth because I like the taste, not to mask the vodka on my breath No more cavities - In those blackouts, brushing my teeth wasn't a priority for some reason My face no longer looks like a swollen pumpkin I quit because one day I would like to share my life with a very special person. Slim to no chance of that happening before My standard poodle Ben looked at me to go play on a beautiful summer day in 2014 and I was drunk in bed at 3pm on a sunny afternoon. Those eyes broke my heart. Ben, I am so sorry Alcohol was my best friend and it turned on me I couldn't stop drinking once I started I found I needed more and more alcohol to obtain the same effect I quit drinking because I heard the Brave Heart soundtrack for 3 weeks straight - When it wasn't playing, it was in my head I wasn't free Alcohol determined where I worked, who I hung out with, when I went to bed and when I woke up Music didn't look like much of anything I want to look at myself in the mirror in the morning and say "Hey, I know that guy!" I do not want to go to rehab, but if I do, I'm going to Thailand I want to stop living a life of life or death. I would probably commit suicide within 5 years and I'm not really living. It's been 8 years since I got a black eye at a bar… by a girl Girls like me now-well more than when I was talking to them cross eyed and blacked out I was sick and tired of being sick and tired My body doesn't randomly ache anymore My right elbow hurt when I swam for about 7 years. Not anymore I can now run a 7:30 mile - three of them in a row actually I do not want a DUI… okay another one Alcohol is shit. Did I mention that already? I saw Guns and Roses in Bolivia and remembered it. I saw 311 at Red Rocks and do not remember any of it. I'd like to remember concerts in the future. I wanted to stop blaming others for my problems Ulcers are painful, and I've got a several ulcers due to a compromised immune system I do not want to go to jail… okay go to jail again Shovels give me blisters, so I decided to quit digging… See what I did there? I'm AHDH and being in the moment is something I struggle with, now I've got a shot My parents just retired and I can fully be there for their golden years Alcohol wasn't cheap. Per the Recovery Elevator tracker app I've saved $11,867 I've learned to get to it, you need to go through it. Today, I feel uncomfortable feelings at face value and lean into them instead of jam them into a box only to have them explode and an inopportune moment, like my best friends bachelor party My stomach hurt from laughing 4 times 2016; from 2007-20014 that number was zero This is going to sound lame but it's the truth. At about 6 months without a drink, the childhood feeling that I can do anything I put my mind to had returned… and is still here… watch out stigma I don't want to kill myself anymore. That's pretty cool eh? I watch my favorite episodes on TV instead of being the lead actor in the drunken episodes I can play 4 Third Eye Blind Songs on the Guitar. Okay, 3.5 Stars. Holy shit. Have they always been there and so bright? It is liberating to not need a mind altering substance at social functions Depression and anxiety are unpleasant feelings. They still lurk around at times, but not for nearly as long nor as thick Turns out I do not suck at kickball or dodgeball. I was too drunk to kick or dodge the ball Being a business owner overseeing a staff of 22 is easier without a splitting headache In sobriety, I'm learning that that guy Bob was on to something and everything is gonna be alright – Hey Mon! Problems pertaining to money have pretty much dissolved Anxiety = 98% better now Shirley Temples, I have rediscovered, are the best drink known to mankind The people that I surround myself with are my true

Amelia, with 79 days since her last drink, shares her story…… According to the HBO documentary, Risky Drinking, 70% of people drink. Most drinkers fall within the following spectrum: no risk, low risk, mid risk, moderate risk, severe and death. The documentary chronicles 4 people in different stages of alcoholism. If you are drinking to fix the problem that drinking has caused, you may need to watch this program and see where you fall on the spectrum. SHOW NOTES [ 10:39 ] Paul Introduces Amelia who's last drink was on 10/10/16. [ 11:12 ] Have you had any close calls since you stopped drinking? Amelia – Not really, although I was pretty irritable during Christmas time. Instead of drinking, I just went to bed. [ 11:48 ] Tell us a little about yourself. Amelia – I was born and raised in San Francisco. I am a social worker and work with children in the foster care system. I love to watch baseball games and travel. [ 13:19 ] When did you realize that you had a problem with alcohol? Amelia – I started noticing I had a problem approximately 10 years ago, but I was always able to justify my behavior. 79 days ago, I just got sick and tired of being sick and tired! [ 14:32 ] Did you ever put rules into place to try and moderate your drinking? Amelia – I would try to drink only at night and on the weekends. After a hard days' work, I felt like I deserved it. I had not had any bad consequences yet so this helped justify my drinking. Soon I implemented the "it's 5 o'clock somewhere" mentality. [ 15:56 ] Did you have a bottom? Amelia – I was kicked out of the Peace Corp for drinking too much. It was Independence Day in the Caribbean and after drinking all day, I decided that I wanted to go home. I ended up walking 7 miles in the rain back to my apartment with a co-worker. I would also not report to the Peace Corp my location at all times and this was a requirement. [ 18:42 ] How did you get to 79 days without alcohol? Amelia – I had a phone call with my parents to wish them a Happy Anniversary. I did not remember the phone call at all the following morning. It was a total blackout. I had asked myself, "Do I really want to be this person?" I called a friend who I trusted and they encouraged me to go to an AA meeting. I felt accountable. [ 20:21 ] Tell us more about this accountability piece? Amelia – I had spoken to this same friend about my concerns with alcohol about a year before. I also spoke to my mother. She informed me that she had attended an Al-Anon meeting 1 year ago as well because she too was concerned with my drinking. [ 22:53 ] What was it like having repeated bottoms? Amelia – I never thought they were real or deep bottoms. I did not have consequences or anything taken away from me because of my drinking yet. [ 24:40 ] What do you think would happen if you drink again? Amelia – It would be just a matter of time before something really bad happened. [ 26:00 ] What is your plan going forward? Amelia – So far AA has been working. If I think about drinking, I just follow the drunk all of the way to the end. I am attending the RE Retreat in Montana so that will hold myself accountable. Soon, I would like to start working the steps. [ 30:12 ] What have you learned most about yourself? Amelia – that I can be happy and have a better life without drinking. [ 31:00 ] What advice would you give your younger self? Amelia – to look at your bottoms and see them for what they really are. I would also listen more to my mother when she told me how alcoholism runs in our family. [ 33:00 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? getting kicked out of the Peace Corp and hitting a parked car while drunk Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? one of my clients told me I smelled like alcohol and I blamed it on hand sanitizer What's your favorite resource in recovery? AA What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? follow the drunk, be gentle with yourself and say the Serenity prayer often You might be an alcoholic if….. you pee in your bed after a night of drinking Resources mentioned in this episode: Recovery Elevator Retreat Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Erik, with 67 days since his last drink, shares his story…. What exactly is alcohol and how is it created? According to the book, Beyond the Influence, by Katherine Ketcham, the basic ingredient of alcohol is yeast. Let's just call it what it is; yeast dung to be exact. The yeast eventually dies off during the fermenting process leaving alcohol in its' basic form, which is ethanol. That's right folks! We have been consuming the same ingredient that is used in lacquer and dyes. Once we drink, the alcohol quickly passes through our cell membranes and enters the blood stream. Depending on our age, gender, or whether or not we have eaten, etc., alcohol affects us all differently. Beyond just the physically changes, alcohol also affects our emotional state. It has been known to exacerbate anxiety, stress and fatigue by triggering the body to release adrenaline artificially. No wonder those hang overs are so awful! SHOW NOTES [ 10:44 ] Paul Introduces Erik and asks when was his last drink? Erik – 67 days ago and it feels good on most days [ 11:13 ] Erik tell us a little about himself. Erik – I am 31 years old and currently live in Dallas. I play and teach music and also enjoy cooking and exercise. [ 13:42 ] When did you realize you had a problem with drinking? Erik – After graduating from college, consequences started happening. I had crashed a few cars and received a few DWI's. [ 15:11 ] Did you ever try to implement rules in order to moderate your drinking? Erik – I was not real great at even putting rules into place. But I had an interlock (breathalyzer) put on my car and would try to moderate so that I could still start the car. One time I blew over the limit 3 times. I was more of a binge drinker. Once I started, I could not stop drinking. [ 17:24 ] After your probation ended, you started drinking again. What happened? Erik – When you are on probation, I think mentally you are just waiting for the time to be over. Once it is over, you can drink again. I continued to drink for 2-3 years without suffering any real consequences. [ 19:00 ] Did your drinking progress or remain the same? Erik – It progressed and I started driving when I shouldn't be again. I also started experiencing episodes of anger and rage, which was completely uncharacteristic of me. [ 20:45 ] Erik shares a recent story of a wedding he attended. Erik – I was running late for a wedding in which I was a groomsman. My mind made this a much bigger deal than it actually was so when I finally arrived, I headed straight to the bar. I stumbled to the service and was late for the photo shoot. I continued to drink and my mood kept deteriorating. After the wedding was over, I went to the after party and eventually blacked out. When I came to, I was in the middle of a brawl with a friend. I was very disappointed in myself and was worried that I had destroyed some friendships. [ 27:45 ] How did you get to 67 days without drinking? Erik – I had worked the AA program many years ago and basically got re-plugged in. I reached out to some previous people that I knew in the program, started going to meetings and got a sponsor. [ 31:00 ] Paul and Erik discuss the gift of desperation Erik – My last drinking memory was that wedding I attended. I am not sure if I can fix the damage that I did to some of those relationships. I do not want that last memory to define me. [ 32:00 ] What is your plan moving forward? Erik – I will continue to work my program, meditate and go to meetings. I would also like to start my own life now, by moving out of my parent's house and getting back on track. [ 33:33 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? wrecking 3 cars, being in jail and having to call my parents Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? One night I was playing a show in Dallas. I knew I should not have driven home but I did it anyway What's your favorite resource in recovery? AA meetings, listening to podcasts and reading. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Recovery is a process. Stay busy with projects and fill in that time that you would normally drink with different things to do. You might be an alcoholic if…. You use a blood alcohol calculator (BAC) in order to get past your car interlock ****Congratulations to our very own Brandy for reaching 1 year of sobriety**** Resources mentioned in this episode: Books – Beyond the Influence by Katherine Ketcham and Living Sober by AA Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Tricia, with 30 days since her last drink, shares her story…. Congratulations Recovery Elevator on 100 episodes! How did we make it to 100 episodes? How else, but one episode (day) at a time. Problem drinking that becomes severe is often given the medical term alcohol use disorder or AUD. Some interesting studies from the NESARC show that in 2012, 7.2% of the population surveyed had an alcohol use disorder (article found here: www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohol-health/overview-alcohol-consumption/alcohol-use-disorders.) Europe also has an organization (the ECA) who conducts alcohol related surveys. They found that although people in Southern Europe drank larger amounts of alcohol, they were able to moderate their drinking. In comparison, there were more alcohol related fatalities in Northern Europe. Could this be because of binge drinking? Perhaps the folks from the South can drink 1-2 glasses of wine with their meal while people from the North are drinking larger quantities in one sitting? We will let the ECA draw that conclusion. SHOW NOTES [ 8:23 ] Paul Introduces Tricia who's last drink was approximately 30 days ago [ 9:00 ] When did you realize you had a problem? Tricia – I knew I wasn't a normal drinker even at the age of 23. I always knew that I would have to quit one day. I never drank just for the taste, it was always to get drunk. Once I started drinking, I could not stop. [ 11:28 ] Did you ever put any rules in place in order to control your drinking? Tricia – I tried switching to a drink that I did not like. This never worked and I would end up doing shots of something else. My fellow drinker friends thought this was a great idea! I was always into fitness and nutrition so I would make sure my daily caloric intake would allow for booze. [ 15:41 ] Tell us about yourself? Tricia – I am 35 year old chef who now owns her own business. I have always been a runner but also enjoy anything in the outdoors, such as skiing and snowboarding. I like to knit and cross stitch Gangsta Rap lyrics into items for friends. My only hobby before was drinking. I would work and drink. That was it. [ 19:18 ] Did you have a bottom? Tricia – I was a high functioning alcoholic. My bottom was very high. I would always pretend that I wasn't drunk or that I didn't have a hangover. My motto was, "I've Got This." When I went on a 3 day binger, 30 days ago, I was so hung over that I could even fake it. I had to stay in bed all day. That was the first time I experienced the physical withdrawals of sweating, fever and shaking. [ 22:15 ] How did you reach the conclusion that you did not have control over alcohol? Tricia – My friends and I were going out one night and rented a party bus. I was terribly anxious for weeks up until this party. I was afraid I would drink too much and black out. The black outs were getting to be very common. I ended up drinking too much and woke up the next day with bruises all over my legs. I did not remember falling down but obviously it had happened. [ 24:48 ] Did alcohol play a role in your divorce? Tricia – there were many other factors but both my ex-husband and I drank. When we fought, we had usually both been drinking. I wasn't supposed to be the drinker of the family. My brother was the center of attention since he had the alcohol/drug problem for years. I was the over achiever who still managed to get to work on time and function normally. Until I could no longer fake it. [ 26:56 ] How did you get to day 1 without a drink? Tricia – I had not planned on stopping drinking entirely. It basically snuck up on me. I had that terrible hangover and the physical withdraw symptoms so I called my brother who is now in recovery. He is very supportive. I went on-line and found the RE podcast and starting listening and hearing similar stories. [ 30:28 ] What does a day in the life of Tricia look like? Tricia – I started going to AA meetings. I ended up being late to my first AA meeting because I went to the wrong room. The security officer at the church shouted to everyone that the AA meeting was in the other room. Even though I was 10 minutes late for that meeting, I was really 10 years late in trying AA. [ 34:51 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? the blackouts and everything that I do not remember Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? trying to moderate and being fearful that I would over indulge and put myself in danger What's your plan moving forward? Every morning I read the Big Book pp 86-88. I meditate on those pages. I am also reading a book by Tara Brock called Radical Acceptance. What's your favorite resource in recovery? AA meetings and connecting with other alcoholics What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? keep an open mind and forget everything you think you know. Do not try to do this alone. you need alcohol to do simple tasks you put vodka in your water bottle to go to the gym you think you are an alcoholic You might be an alcoholic if…. Paul ends the pod

Mona, with 2 weeks since her last drink, shares her story……. Paul starts the show by answering some "fan" mail questions about God and AA. Many listeners wonder how they can participate in AA without accepting a higher power. When the pain of drinking outweighs everything else, you just may be willing to try anything. Statistics show that alcoholism is on the rise but attendance at AA meetings is stagnant or even on a slight decline. Attendance at AA meetings may be on the decline because it is a religious based program and also because of the stigma involved (don't be a hater!). In a recent article found on TheInfluence.org, http://theinfluence.org/american-gulag-the-five-ways-hundreds-of-thousands-of-people-are-coerced-into-rehab-and-aa/ , it is discussed how people are being forced into AA or rehab, either by employers or the Courts. Legally, however, a person cannot be forced into AA because it is considered a religious program. Experience shows us that you will be more successful in a program that you choose voluntarily. So whether it is AA, SMART, Life Ring, or your own personalized plan, find a program that makes you want to live and love life. Work that program as if your life depended on it (because quite frankly, it does!). SHOW NOTES [ 10:08 ] Paul Introduces Mona She currently lives in Chicago. She is 23 years old, loves to read and create playlists. Mona is still figuring out all of the new things she likes to do now that she does not drink. [ 13:43 ] When did you realize you had a problem? Mona – it has been about 4 years in the making. When I was 19 years old, I drank way too much and was super hungover. I was totally embarrassed because my parents witnessed this. I quit alcohol for the next 30 days but knew that I was not completely done with it, [ 16:21 ] Did you ever put any rules in place to try and moderate your drinking? Mona – for 2 years I tried to manage the amount of drinks I would have in 1 sitting. I set my limit at 4 and after that I would just leave the bar. I realized I had a problem when I was putting so much energy into trying to moderate. [ 20:13 ] What was your bottom? Mona – I did not really have a rock bottom. I remember my parents had paid for this great trip to the Grand Canyon and the entire trip I was trying to keep control of my alcohol intake in front of them. The Grand Canyon was so beautiful and it just showed how messy my life had become because of alcohol. [ 21:57 ] How does it feel to be sober at 23 years old? Mona – I feel proud but also overwhelmed at the thought of never drinking again. [ 23:15 ] How did you do it? Mona – I tried will power at first and I was also seeing a therapist who I was finally honest with. So far the temptation to drink has not been too bad. My holiday work party was slightly difficult and I left early. I also started telling my close friends that I had stopped drinking. [ 26:30 ] What do you think would happen if you started drinking again? Mona – nothing productive would happen. I would be totally stagnant in my life and in my job. I would not be happy at all. [ 28:38 ] What is your plan moving forward? Mona – I am experimenting with creating my own plan of recovery. I want to explore all of my options. [ 32:52 ] What do you want to achieve in sobriety? Mona – I would like to have deeper and more authentic relationships. I want to become connected to who I really am and to go after the jobs that I really want. [ 35:07 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? After doing drugs and drinking, I had a horrible fight with a guy I was interested in. I ended up stumbling back to my apartment and just feeling totally empty. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Seeing the Grand Canyon and comparing its' beauty to my "not beautiful" life What's your plan moving forward? Creating my recovery plan What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Look for the similarities , not the differences What is your best advice for the newcomer? If you are continually thinking about alcohol or listening to recovery podcasts, have the courage to try out sobriety You might be an alcoholic if……you empty a bottle of perfume and fill it with alcohol in order to bring it on the airplane in your carry on Resources mentioned in this episode: Book of the Month – The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer http://theinfluence.org/american-gulag-the-five-ways-hundreds-of-thousands-of-people-are-coerced-into-rehab-and-aa/ Recovery Elevator Retreat Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Shaun, with 2 months since his last drink, shares his story One of the most common questions we get asked as alcoholics is, "What do you drink now that you no longer drink alcohol?" Or, "How do I fit in at social functions now?" There are plenty of tasty non-alcoholic drinks to choose from, so when water is just not cutting it, check out the list below: Shirley Temple (don't' forget to double up on the cherries!) Ginger Beer (Cock N Bull brand) Sugar Free Red Bull La Croix (basically flavored soda water) Soda water with a splash of cranberry World Market is the place to go if you are looking for a large selection of ginger beer. SHOW NOTES [ 11:48 ] Paul Introduces Shaun Shaun is 30 years old and currently living in Bozeman, MT. In his free time, he plays hockey, snowboards and coaches little league flag football [ 13:13 ] Paul asks Shaun to describe his bottom Shaun – I was drinking all day and through the night. I proceeded to drive home after fighting a friend for my keys. I drove down a very dangerous canyon and hit the guard rail with my car. The police eventually pulled me over. I woke up in the hospital and my father was there, looking very disappointed with me. [ 18:00 ] When did you realize the gravity of your drinking situation? Shaun – Even though I knew right away how bad it was, it still just seemed surreal. A few weeks went by before I realized this wasn't a dream. I went about 3 weeks without a drink. I started drinking again at my 30th birthday party and went on a 6 week bender. I then started to just slow down on my own. I was suffering from deep depression, had walked away from my job, and realized that I was not attaining the goals I had set out for myself. [ 21:54 ] What do you think would happen if you started drinking again? Shaun – I would be right back to where I was before. I really do not want to know. [ 23:00 ] What were your drinking habits like? How much did you drink? Shaun – I was your typical college drinker. When I started drinking, I was ready to party. My drinking escalated when I moved to Bozeman. [ 25:47 ] What was your depression like while drinking? Shaun – My depression was usually triggered by the hangovers. I would think to myself, "What could I have done instead of drinking?" I would feel worthless about myself the next day. Alcohol just kept the depression going. Without alcohol, mild depression is still there but overall I feel more even keel and it is easier to deal with. [ 27:39 ] How about anxiety? Shaun – My anxiety was also heavily triggered by booze. It is still with me now, but has lessened greatly. Normally after a night of drinking, I would feel totally anxious and would end up with the "screw it's," it's time to drink this away. [ 29:00 ] How did you get sober? Shaun – I just took it day by day. I would think that today may suck but tomorrow will be better. I told many of my friends that I had stopped drinking. Some of these friends understood, while others are still waiting for me to start drinking again (they are no longer friends). I also tried to keep focused on my goals and my profession. Alcohol does not fit within my goals anymore. [ 32:00 ] What is your plan moving forward? Shaun – I will continue to surround myself with positive peers, see my therapist, and basically build a new friend base that does not revolve around alcohol. [ 34:00 ] What is it like getting sober at a young age? Shaun – It is very hard. Beer seems to follow all activities but I am trying to make new sober friends. You have to work through the uncomfortable feelings of being in a situation and not drinking. [ 39:35 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? After a birthday party, I punched my buddy in the head and he proceeded to throw me down the stairs. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? When I would make jokes about being an alcohol and suddenly stop laughing because I knew it was me. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Hitting the gym What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Just take it day to day. Win the fight for that day. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Just start. Start talking to people about your problem. You might be an alcoholic if……you make jokes about being an alcoholic but stop laughing because you know you are talking about yourself. Resources mentioned in this episode: Recovery Elevator Retreat Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] If you are in the LA area on 1/22/17, Paul will be talking at a "This is My Brave" event. The event will be held at the Moss Theater in Santa Monica. Just google the event to search for tickets. "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Bubba, with 1 year since his last drink, shares his story. SHOW NOTES Cognitive dissonance = the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change. "First they ignore you, than they laugh at you, than they fight you, than you win." Sobriety is measured one day at a time and if we take it slowly, we will be the winner. Tell your addiction this quote, over and over again. Our minds keep telling us the tricky stories that keep us drinking. This is exhausting. It's like holding 2 conflicting beliefs. How can we break through these conflicting beliefs? Hang out with people that are on the same path as you. Educate yourself. Read, read, and read some more. [ 8:51] Paul Introduces Bubba. Bubba has been sober for 1 year and he's feeling great. He had been drinking so long that he did not realize just how much it was affecting his life until he quit. He enjoys photography, the outdoors and riding his Harley. He has also lost approximately 46 pounds during this past year. [12:04] When did you realize you had a problem with alcohol? Bubba – one of my earliest memories was when I came out as gay at the age of 29. I thought that I wouldn't drink as much since I no longer had that stress. I thought it would be the magic switch but I still continued to drink. About 4 years ago, I started to try and moderate. This did not work. For the next 2 years I was always telling myself that I could drink that night and stop the following day. [14:14] What was your bottom? Bubba – one day I starting drinking at 6am and just kept going. Instead of going to bed, I continued moving from bar to bar and did not make it to work. The next day I woke up and was officially done. My journey had started. [16:35 ] What were some of the rules you tried to put in place in order to moderate your drinking? Bubba – I'm not going to drink during the week and this will satisfy my desire to drink. My drinking voice had become so strong that it just over rode any common sense. My conscience mind knew I was doing something wrong, but my un-conscience mind wanted to continue drinking [17:45 ] What were you feeling that day after your all night drinking bend? Bubba – I was so hungover it was unbelievable. I had just had enough and couldn't take it anymore. [20:00] How did you stay sober during that first month? Bubba – I listened to RE podcasts back to back. That really kept me going that first week. I kept telling myself to try for another week, and then try again for another week. I had to keep convincing myself that I was not going to drink. I had friends wondering why I wasn't at the bar. These are no longer my friends. They were just my bar friends. [21:56] How does it feel to be so open about being gay as well as open about being in recovery? Bubba – feels fantastic!! Being so open helps me to be accountable. My friends and family all know what I am doing and it helps keep me sober. Defining myself as an alcoholic was surprising to some people since I was just known as a heavy drinker. I knew that I had a problem and that was the important thing. [25:00 ] Describe your relationship with your grandmother Bubba – I was self- medicating for the pain that my grandmother made me feel. She was able to make you feel horrible very easily. Constant little digs. I would try to avoid being with her which caused tension among family members. At some point you have to learn to just let it go. [27:45 ] What are your recovery tools now? Bubba – keeping myself busy, workout every day, spend quality time with my friends. I also utilize what other Café RE members are doing and saying. [ 29:57 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Waking up in my lazy boy covered in beer too many times Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Whenever I would wake up the next morning and say to myself, "Oh shit, I drank too much last night." What's your favorite resource in recovery? Café RE, I'm trying to also integrate AA meetings into my life What is your plan moving forward? Continue to do what I do, maybe more charity work, trying to be helpful to others, and just keep moving on What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? You are the only 1 who can force yourself not to drink everyday What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Stick with it, it does get better, things that you do not even know are wrong now will correct themselves You might be an alcoholic if….. you slam 6 beers before you go to the bar because you do not want to have to wait once you get there. "Spread your Wings and Fly – Focus on What You Can Do" Resources mentioned in this episode: Book of the month = The Untethered Soul by Michael A Singer Connect with Cafe RE For $12.00 per month, you can unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meetups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel. First month FREE wit

Wynn, with 28 years of sobriety, shares his story... SHOW NOTES Tis the season to be jolly and sober….. What are the differences between food cravings and alcohol cravings? Our gut sends signals that tell us to eat. We can only go 14 days without food and 80% of our serotonin is created in our gut. This feeling is very similar when we are craving a drink. The mind starts chirping and gives us false ideas of how good a drink would be. The problem is that when we start drinking, the need is never satiated with only 1 drink and thus the saga continues. The main things to keep in mind is that food keeps us alive. Alcohol is nothing more than a poison in its' basic form. Food also helps build muscle. Alcohol transforms your body into Barney from The Simpsons. We all needed food to survive from the beginning of our lives. Obviously we can survive without alcohol. Finally, food satiates our hunger cravings. Alcohol cravings are never satisfied until we are beaten to a pulp. [ 6:20 ] Paul Introduces Wynn. Wynn is a retired engineer. He has been married 3 times and has a total of 5 children. He currently lives a wonderful life in sobriety, although in his previous life he did many "unlawful" things in which he was never caught. [ 9:15 ] When did you realize that you had a problem with alcohol? Wynn – the first time I drank was at 12 years old and it just felt magical. I soon became known as wino Wynn. I came from a good family. Neither of my parents were alcoholics however, the disease was there with my aunts and uncles. Unfortunately my brother was also an alcoholic and his life ended too soon. [ 14:22 ] Paul asks Wynn, "How do we know when alcohol is trying to convince us that we do not have a problem." Wynn – you will know when the change happens. Recognize the pain and do not hide from it. Own your problems. Your HP is showing you what your pain points are. [ 18:00 ] Wynn discusses an interesting visit with his psychiatrist. Wynn – my psychiatrist was asking me what I thought was important. I told her that my car, my money, and my house were important to me. She asked if I knew exactly, down to the penny, how much money I had in my account. I could not tell her. She then asked me if I knew how much booze I had at my house. I was able to tell her the amount and type of alcohol, down to the drop, that I currently had in my home. I realized that there was nothing in my life that I kept track of, like I kept track of alcohol. [ 19:00 ] When was your bottom? Wynn – I was putting up a new house and borrowed money from some shady characters. I signed a life insurance policy as collateral and walked away with a paper bag full of money. I knew that that bag of money would be my coffin if I did not pay it back. If I drank that money away, I would be dead. Once the house was completed, I paid the money back and tore up the life insurance policy. I started to read The Big Book and found it incredible. [ 24:00 ] What did you do then? Wynn – Even though I was talking the talk of AA, I was not walking the walk. I had lost my house, my family and my companies. I was 3 years into AA when I finally got a sponsor. [ 25:32 ] Paul discusses terminal uniqueness and how dangerous it can be. Wynn – you have to be trustworthy enough to believe that your HP will take care of you. Everything that happens is exactly how it is supposed to happen. You have to pay attention. I soon realized that my problem with misery was really about myself. I had fear, control and domination issues. We cannot play God. God is willing to be anything we need him to be. [33:23] Paul asks Wynn if he has every had a close call in 28 years. Wynn – Yes, I was at the airport and had just been fired. There were no flights outbound and the clerk literally poured me a shot of whiskey. He was handing me my new ticket in 1 hand and the shot of whiskey in the other. I found myself reaching for both when suddenly I heard a voice that told me not to reach for the glass of whiskey. I grabbed the ticket and left. [ 36:40 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Jail Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Too many times I woke up in the hospital or jail. What's your plan moving forward? Keep redoing the 10th step What's your favorite resource in recovery? All of my sponsees' who stay sober and watch them carry on the message What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Stop digging and put down your shovel You might be an alcoholic if? You know more about the quality and quantity of alcohol at home, than you do anything else. [ 41:00 ] Paul ends the show with a shout out to Brandy – for hitting her 1 year of sobriety mark. He also shares a story about a recent airplane experience. A flight from Orlando to Denver reinforces Paul's conviction to remain alcohol free. It is never fun to have to sit next to 2 drunks on a plane. Even worse is to be escorted from the plane by the police. Resources mentioned in this episode: RE Retreat – Bozeman Mont

Melissa, with 1 month of sobriety, shares her story... SHOW NOTES It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…. Many of us believe that we cannot quit drinking. "I am the life of the party, that's just who I am!" (I bet the crowd around us would beg to differ but that's besides' the point.) Life will not be fun if I do not drink. Yeah right- blackouts, hangovers, depression, and anxiety; now that is fun. Paul reviews the time in his life when he owned a bar in Spain. You heard correctly. Paul C = Bar Owner. Seems like an entire lifetime ago. Listed below are the pros and cons of that time period in Spain: Pro's - I didn't die, it accelerated me towards my bottom, I learned to play some fancy Flamenco guitar chords Con's – Ambien and booze are not a good combo, missed out on many opportunities/road trips with the senoritas, playing football after being awake for 30 hours straight (the next Peyton Manning? I think not), blackouts, blackouts, and more blackouts, DUI, re-introducing myself to a previous hookup (ouch!), contemplating a 5th floor sky dive [ 8:38 ] Paul Introduces Melissa. How long have you been sober? Melissa – 30 days. Melissa explains her background. She is a bartender, married, with 4 children. During her free time, she likes to go to the gym. Paul asks Melissa what it is like being a bartender. Melissa has been in "The Industry" all of her life (Industry = restaurant, club or bar scene). She felt that bartending would be the way to go early on because of her love of drinking and it seemed fun. Melissa's family are serious drinkers so she grew up in that environment. She thought normal drinking was boring. Melissa states that when you are in "The Industry" you tend to share similar stories of drinking and it justifies your own behavior. [ 13:54 ] What is it like bartending with 30 days of sobriety? Melissa – It's been easier since I left Las Vegas and now live in Pennsylvania. The environment is also easier. I work in a fine dining establishment instead of a Las Vegas casino. I am used to going through shifts without drinking but would always drink after my shift ended. One of my go to drinks was a kids' cup filled with ice and straight vodka. Five minutes from home, I would down it. [ 17:54 ] Staying sober is easy when drunk people are idiots Paul and Melissa swap stories about working in the industry surrounded by drunk people. Do your local DJ a favor and do not request any more Michael Jackson songs! [ 18:47 ] What was your bottom? Melissa – I was attending a birthday party and had brought my 14 year old daughter and her friend. We were staying at a hotel so there were no limits. My daughter and her friend had to come get me from the bar downstairs. She video-taped me while feeding me chicken nuggets. I was a mess and my daughter thought it was hysterical. I didn't want her thinking that that situation was OK. Our family culture was turning into a dangerous life. [ 23:55 ] Paul and Melissa discuss the tragic death of her sister Melissa – she was drinking and driving and attempted to go around the car in front of her. Her car was hit. The accident caused her to break her neck. She was only 21 years old when she was killed. My sister's story, however, did not stop me from continuing to drink. Paul – we have all had plenty of "You would have thought (…insert tragic event here…) moments that should have stopped us from drinking. Fear can get you sober but it cannot keep you sober. Melissa reviews her history of trying AA and remaining alcohol free for 2 years. During that time she picked up a pill addiction. After 2 years she was drinking and taking pills. She weaned herself off of the pills and suffered heavy withdrawal systems. She did not think she was an alcoholic because she was able to stop while pregnant with all of her children. Once the children were born, however, the pressure of motherhood soon had her reaching for the wine bottle. [ 32:48 ] How have you made it to 30 days? Melissa – RE podcast, constantly reminding myself of my worst drunk moments and comradery with other recovering alcoholics. [ 42:35 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Celebrating my 36th birthday and waking up in the hospital not remembering a thing Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Too many CRS (can't remember shit) moments. What's your plan moving forward? To find a local AA meeting and do the 12 steps. Time to locate those weeds and pull them out! What's your favorite resource in recovery? Listening to the Big Book will driving and listening to various recovery podcasts What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Inside of every alcoholic's home are 2 doors with different paths. Behind door #1, there is a monkey who is going to kick your ass down a shorter path. Behind door #2, there is simply a longer path. It's time to choose door #2! You might be an alcoholic if? You have company over and you are sneaking gulps of vodka in between your glasses of wine. [

John with 17 years of sobriety and Adrianne with 11 years, share how they did it. This is their story... SHOW NOTES According to the American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM), addiction is a brain disorder, not a behavioral problem. This is nothing new so why are we still talking about it? Probably because even though society is starting to finally believe that addiction is a disease and not a moral failing, the stigma attached to addicts remains the same. Wake up people! The studies have shown that addiction can be defined as a primary disease, not an emotional or psychological problem. Our brains become rewired and our choice to pick up flies right out the window when we are in active addiction. Our real choice happens when we reach out for help. It is never too early to reach out. [ 8:27 ] Paul Introduces John and Adrianne, authors of The Painting and the Piano. John, sober since 1/5/99 and Adrienne, sober since 7/11/05 currently live in Florida. For the past 3 years they have been working on their story of survival and love. Their book, The Painting and the Piano is like a divine intervention of how they first met and their lives together through the recovery process. John feels that they were chosen to get sober and to pass this on to others. [ 17:00 ] What was your bottom? Adrianne – my daughter had to go to the ER after an accident at school. I stopped home before going to the hospital in order to get my pills. I didn't know how long I would be at the hospital with her and was afraid I would be sick without my pills. My need for the drugs was more powerful than getting my injured child to the ER. John – driving out of my driveway and seeing my 2 small children looking through the window at me. I knew I was leaving to get another drink and going to have a possible affair. I left anyway and that memory still haunts me of their faces. Looking at myself in the mirror and seeing an 80 year old man looking back was another bottom. I had 3 DWI's, was losing my business, my friends and was drinking around the clock without bothering to eat. [ 20:11 ] Do you feel that you can skip any steps in the recovery process? Adrianne – No, all of the steps you go through were meant to happen and lead you towards your bottom. This needs to happen. John – Everyone's bottom is different and how we get there is also different. [ 23:00 ] John talks about patience Take time in your relationships. Advised to wait for 1 year before dating. Patience is super important. Let patience be your virtue. 12 steps should be looked at as an opportunity for personal growth [ 26:53 ] What is on your bucket list for sobriety? John and Adrianne – this book, educating others on the steps and the AA culture, doing more podcasts, and helping as many people recover as possible. Adrianne – I would also love to work in the judicial system. There are so many children that are pulled from dysfunctional homes, only to be placed back in them too soon. John – I believe that 95% of our issues go back to some type of childhood trauma. So what happened to privileged Paul C who grew up in Vali Colorado? Hmmm, might have to think that one over a bit. [ 30:00 ] Adrianne shares about her physical pain I was born addicted to heroin. Later on after years of back pain, I became addicted to pills. All of the surgeries lead to harder addictions. It was a perfect storm of the emotional "F it's" [ 34:14 ] What advice would you give your younger selves? Adrianne – stay off the pity pot! John – there is no shame in asking for help. Do it now. Change 1 thing every day. [ 38:25 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Adrianne – When I stopped home before going taking my daughter to the hospital in order to get my pills. John – the memory of my children's faces as I drove out of the driveway on my way to drink Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Adrianne – breaking down in front of my counselor and realizing I had a problem. John – drinking in the mornings just to stop the shakes What's your plan moving forward? Adrianne – continue to be of service. John – reaching just 1 person, paying it forward. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Adrianne – don't be afraid to ask for help. John – stick around for the miracle Resources mentioned in this episode: www.paintingpiano.com www.asam.org Connect with Cafe RE For $12.00 per month, you can unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meetups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel. First month FREE with Promo Code Elevator. Promo Code: Elevator recoveryelevator.com/survey Sobriety Tracker Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Stephanie has been sober for nearly 5 years... This is her story… Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE! SHOW NOTES Why do some go down the path of alcoholism faster than others? Why do the wheels come off at different times for all of us? Is it an 'addictive personality' disorder? Well, truth is, we can't find real scientific evidence to prove that an 'addictive personality' is a real thing. What we do know is that genetic makeup combined with environmental factors that someone is living with have huge factors in whether or not someone will become addicted to alcohol. For Paul, the wheels came off right around age 21, but there is no way to determine if and when someone will become addicted to alcohol. There are many envrionmental factors that can slow down or speed up this factor... [ 7:25 ] Paul introduces Stephanie. Stephanie has been sober for almost 5 years. She got sober December 31st, 2011. She is 33 and from Alabama. Stephanie works in a Bradford treatment center. She loves to run, kayak and hangout with her family. [ 8:12 ] Do you have a pink cloud? Stephanie tries to make her own 'pink cloud' every day in that she looks for the positive in everything. She is aware of the things she is grateful for and recognizes where she could be if she didn't have her sobriety. [ 14:09 ] Stephanie talks about her drinking experience and the associated health problems that she dealt with. [ 23:04 ] Stephanie's Mom and Dad took her to a treatment center on December 30th, 2011. [ 24:39 ] Do you think you could've gotten sober without rehab? "For me, I don't think I could. I had to be removed from my situation, completely removed. I had tried little things here and there, but I didn't know coping mechanisms. I know people can do it, but I just know that I couldn't have done it." [ 25:35 ] Stephanie talk about her program. Stephanie was able to relate to the AA program. She has had the same sponsor for almost 4 1/2 years. "It was necessary for me." [ 26:41 ] Can you pinpoint one rock bottom moment? "After totalling my car and trying to hide it..." Stephanie was making frequent trips to the liquor store to buys half pints of vodka. When she started drinking in the morning, she realized something had the change. [ 33:04 ] Walk us through a day in the life of Stephanie. "Usually I wake up and do a reading from the Hazeldon Foundation and I use an app called 'My Spiritual Toolkit. I also have a page saved on my phone which has a prayer for each step. Then I'll take some quiet time. I'm not very good at meditation." Stephanie takes time to herself in the mornings. She gets up early and tries to go for a run before heading into work. At work, she tries to take 3-4 minutes just to breath and calm down. At the end of the day, Stephanie takes time to reflect on her day, looking for the positive and places where she can do better tomorrow. "I try to get a lot of sleep. I need my 8 hours of sleep and my prayer and meditation time." [ 36:09 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? "Pancreatitis... That was pretty horrible." What's your plan in sobriety moving forward? "To not stay stagnant. To change and grow and try to help others as much as possible." What's your favorite resource in recovery? "The Big Book, My Spiritual Toolkit and that prayer page." What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? "Continue. Make a continuous effort to put one foot in front of the other." What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? "Do it. Seek treatment if you can. Ask for help and know that you don't have to be alone." "You Might be an Alcoholic If…" "...You are waking up drinking vodka a 6am and hiding bottles all throughout your room!" Resources mentioned in RE 93: Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ Connect with Cafe RE For $12.00 per month, you can have unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meet-ups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel. First month FREE with Promo Code: Elevator. Hazeldon Foundation Digital Resources My Spiritual Toolkit Podcast Resource Info - 'Addiction now defined as brain disorder, not behavior issue' "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up. WE can do this!" Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here!

Sara, with 5 months and 10 days of sobriety, tells us how she did it. [9:21] Paul introduces Sara Sara has been sober for 5 months and 10 days, or a total of 163 days. Sara is feeling better than she has ever felt, which is a common response in early recovery. Sobriety has not been all wonderful colors, tastes, and smells. Sara's experience so far has been overall great, but not without challenges; she has had to overcome some adversity. Which is a very big foundational pillar of life, as nothing comes easy in sobriety, and getting sober is a blind leap of faith. Sara is originally from Louisiana, currently living in New Jersey, she is a psychiatrist who is married with no children. For fun, she does everything she used to do but is learning to do it sober. One of her best sober activities she has enjoyed was attending a Coldplay concert, in which she remembered every single minute. The concert was amazing, as was Sara's first sober football game, feeling every emotion so much more. One not so cool activity in sobriety was joining friends bar hopping after a football game. Sara struggled, but realized she is no longer "that guy" and could drive home sober. [13:21 ] Talk to us about your Elevator. When did you hit bottom? Sara made small attempts to stop two years prior to her sobriety date. During that time, she read a book titled "Freedom from Addiction," which inspired her; only until an invite to socialize and drink. She would start again and not be able to stop. Eventually, Sara was at a happy hour followed by dinner with lots of drinking. She thought she was good to drive home. She ended up in an accident after which the entire night was a blur. Realizing that she could lose her life and career, even though there were no legal ramifications involved. Sara realized how lucky she was to come out of that situation safe and not in a legal battle. Paul shares his driving while intoxicated experiences. Sara woke up the next day and through the next week she was dazed and confused her memory was foggy as she was self-blaming herself. Everting in her life was going well other than drinking, she questioned why she was sacrificing everything for drinking. [16:27] How much did you drink? Sara drank vodka in airplane size bottles, they were easier to consume, leaving no evidence. She would usually drink a few throughout the day, over time it progressed. Her consumption amounts were often up and down, Sara was never one that could have just one or two at dinner, she would always continue drinking through the night. When she decided to stop drinking, she was up to 6-7 drinks per night, and was starting early in the day. For Sara, her disease progression was more about the time of day she started rather than the amount. Usually a couple glasses of wine and some shots of alcohol. Sara tried to put multiple plans of control in place; only drink on the weekend, only after work, no hard liquor. Paul realizes the question of control is a dumb question. The thought that one day we can drink normal must be dismissed. [19:38] How did you do it? Walk us through the first day, the first week. Sara's first week she doesn't remember much, but had a lot of family events and weddings with open bars where she was put to the test. After she got through all the events without a drink, she wondered why she drank when she was loving everything she was doing sober not understanding why she ever started in the first place. Sara's first few months have been filled with new activities; biking, hiking, gym. She has replaced drinking with trying new things. [21:00] Tell us about your program. Sara didn't enlist any kind of program. Yet, even before the accident she was listening to sobriety podcasts, as she was contemplating sobriety. Sara then found RE which became her program. While doing her morning routine she has the podcast playing as her preferred recovery resource, along with fitness and other new routines. Paul reminds us that willpower is exhaustible and finite, eventually running out, leading to relapse. We need a daily affirmation to remember why you don't drink. [24:07] Sara shares her fears about being "found out" on the podcast: Being a psychiatrist and worried about people learning of her addiction. A lot of friends still don't understand, and see alcoholics as worst case scenario. Images of bums is the picture normal people have. Sara knows that is not alcoholics are like, but struggles with the stigma even though she knows that is ridiculous. Paul sees Sara's alcoholism as an untapped asset in her career. Sara chats with addicts face to face in a hospital setting and listens to their struggles. Many of her patients have been through been recovery. Sara's advice to her patients is to take it one day at a time, she tells them about podcasts as many haven't found a program. She is also able to offer resources that she uses herself. Paul suggests she uses her own experiences. Sara hopes to get to that point. She remembers to fo

Sasha has been sober for just over 5 years... This is her story… Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE! SHOW NOTES 12 ways to help you stay sober through the holidays. Last year, in Episode 43, I introduced a long list of ways to stay sober, and now, it's a year later. This holiday season, don't beat yourself up! Maybe you only get 1 day, but shoot for all the days, and if you miss a day, get back on the wagon without beating yourself up... Be kind to yourself. The holidays are about giving, give yourself kindness. 12 Ways to Stay Sober Through the Holidays: Meditation - All of the following activities have a meditative and creative quality; guitar, piano, painting, woodwork, organizing, stuffing envelopes, whatever it is for you. Set a timer and chill-out for 10 minutes Headspace App Water - Hydrate! First thing I do in the morning is drink about 35 oz of lemon water. Give yourself a Hall Pass! I plan on eating 70% of the pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving Dinner this year Exercise for 10 min during the first hour of the day. I stretch, do band work, and pushups. Practice visualization. I practice saying no to drinks and practice making good decisions in my sobriety. Tell someone no and put yourself first, i.e. "I will not be driving your ass around on NYE." Shovel snow or push dirt around. Think, "Service, service, service." Talk to yourself. Start doing something small and then in two years tell me how much of a difference that has made in your life. Turtle and not the hare. I'm playing the long game. Connect with your Community daily - Café RE. Share! [ 12:34 ] Paul introduces Sasha. Sasha's last drink was a couple days before Sept. 2nd, 2011...Sasha is from Washington D.C. She is 31 and has her own coaching business. For fun she likes to hangout at home in her pajamas, being a mega-introvert! [ 14:38 ] Talk to us about your Elevator. When did you hit bottom? September of 2011 was the culmination of a long summer of heavy partying. "I was sitting in my therapists office with my head in my hands trying to recap my summer which I couldn't remember. My therapist handed me an AA flyer and slowly I started going to a weekly meeting." [ 17:01 ] How much did you drink? Talk to us about your drinking habits. "I was an all or nothing binge drinker. I probably partied one night on, one night off. When I went out, I drank as much as I possibly could. As soon as I had 2 or 3 drinks there was a switch, there was no off button." [ 27:17 ] How did you do it? Walk us through the first day, the first week. "I dropped into an AA meeting to listen. I heard stories of human suffering, pain and joy. It was like a humanities class. People were honest and really told the truth about how they were feeling." Sasha talks about how isolating alcohol is and the antidote was really learning to connect and let her walls down. Sasha was going to one 'speaker' meeting a week. She got a sponsor after 10 mos. [ 30:43 ] Sasha talks about her experience as a 'dry drunk'. [ 31:07 ] Tell us about your program. "Principles of recovery flow throughout my day. I like to let things flow. I wake up with a prayer. I have daily readers (an app and a book) that set the tone for my day. I make several 12-step meetings a week and try to meditate for 10 mins. a day." Sasha also does yoga. Yoga has been crucial to her recover journey, connecting mind, body and soul. [ 40:02 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? "The summer before my freshman year of high school. I drank 2 beers and passed out." Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? "Chronic stress from acting so poorly." What's your plan moving forward? "Sit with my self. Sobriety is all about staying with myself." What is your favorite resource in recover? "The Hazelden App. The books "The Language of Letting Go" and "Journey to the Heart," both by Melody Beattie. Yoga and 12-step meetings." What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? "When in doubt sober is always a better choice. Sobriety never hurt anyone." "You Might be an Alcoholic If…" "You spend an inordinate amount of time trying to convince yourself that you're not an alcoholic." Resources mentioned in RE 91: Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ Connect with Cafe RE For $12.00 per month, you can have unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meet-ups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel. First month FREE with Promo Code: Elevator. Connect with Sasha: www.sashaptozzi.com Hazelden App The Language of Letting Go - by Melody Beattie Journey to the Heart - by Melody Beattie "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up. WE can do this!" Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.co

Christine has been sober for 129 days... This is her story… Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE! SHOW NOTES What is a dry drunk? It is someone who just doesn't drink anymore, who has 'quit' using sheer willpower... ***Spoiler Alert*** Willpower eventually runs out. We need a program, something and someone to fall back on to support us. Your program can look completely unique to yourself and doesn't just have to be AA (although many do recommend it). When you quit using sheer willpower, sure, you become healthier, physically feeling like you've been born again and the memory of passing out in a Cracker Barrel buffet line begins to fade. You'll start to gain confidence in your recent found 'sober' success and you say to yourself, "I did this. I quit. I got this." (Uh-oh, those three little words, think RE #86... Problem right there!) Eventually, we will forget entirely about the Cracker Barrel buffet line, which is a problem because, A – their cornbread is fantastic and, B – that was the reason you quit drinking. That was not a highlight in your life. Studies show that humans have selective memory and we tend to remember the good things (i.e. the Cornbread) and not the bad things (i.e. the Ambulance, the Buffet Line, and the Cracker Barrel experience). As a dry drunk, when we quit drinking, our genius plan is to simply not drink, thinking that one day we'll be able to drink normally again. If you have this thought, don't worry, every alcoholic has, but the dry drunks don't ever address this or relinquish the thought. The key is to surrender. This is what I call 'white knuckling it'. I think everyone is white knuckling it when they quit drinking but the dry drunks keep white knuckling it. Right about the time when all the physical healing has taken place (for me, it took over a year), is when the true white knuckling takes place. It's when Gary (Paul's alter-ego) starts to make an appearance. It's when 'we' start having the internal dialogue of justification. It's when our unconscious minds have seen the barrage of alcohol adds on social media, television, and everywhere else our open eyes and ears look. This is when the cognitive dissonance starts to take place... Translation, we need help! We can't do this alone... [ 08:12 ] Paul introduces Christine. Christine's last drink was June 13th of 2016, about 129 days ago. She has been sober for just over 4 months. Christine grew up in a small town in central Michigan. She is now studying chemistry at Montana State University and is almost finished with her Ph.D. She loves hunting, fishing, camping and anything else outside... [ 09:23 ] Paul talks about first meeting Christine in 2011 when he was a dry drunk and how she helped him in 2014 to make a change after hitting his bottom. Christine remembers that Paul was hurting so badly and she was so glad that Paul gave her a call. There were lots of tears, lots and lots of tears (and it wasn't just the horses and pastures they were passing causing an allergic reaction) as they drove down canyon from Big Sky Ski Resort where Paul was DJ-ing a wedding. Christine urged Paul to call his mom, dad, and brother, to seek support... Christine has been an integral part of Paul's sobriety. [ 14:03 ] Talk to us about your Elevator. What was your bottom? "Bottoms are always defined differently... I had decided back in December of 2015 to quit drinking. I stopped drinking for 2 weeks before deciding that I wasn't a 'quitter'! I picked right up where I left off. I wasn't fully committed, I hadn't taken the steps I needed." In June, Christine had a "what am I doing with my life" moment on her way to fishing... She had a couple beers on the road and stopped to let the dog out before getting to the fishing spot, where she realized that her bottle of whiskey had spilled everywhere. "I was horrified, my heart started to flutter and I started to panic..." On the way back from fishing, Christine smacked a deer. This really opened her eyes as so much more could have gone wrong... Christine took this as a sign that it was time to make a change. [17:51 ] How did you do it? Walk us through the first day, the first week. "Those first few days were such a blur. I started intensive outpatient therapy (IOP)... I was a wreck. The IOP really helped. I had a friend in West Yellowstone who I relied on heavily during my early days of sobriety. I spent a lot of time on the fishing boat out in the middle of nowhere." [ 19:36 ] Christine comments on how important it is to get outdoors... "Fly fishing has just become my absolute passion. To this day, anytime I feel wrong, or off, or I have cravings, I throw whatever I'm doing to the side and head to the river." Since being sober, Christine has not torn any waders or taken any 'accidental' swims in 43 degree weather! Fishing has taught Christine the beauty of being totally pres

Zach has been sober for 3.5 years... This is his story… Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE! SHOW NOTES "You gotta get through it to get to it..." Open your eyes and start to notice those around you. Often, you'll find others who don't drink. Talk to them, discover why they don't drink... Some of these people quit for religious reasons, some for health, and others for personal reasons. Some are able to just quit on the spot, others not so much. Yeah, not all of us are so lucky to just suddenly decide to quit drinking... These individuals who do own up to their problems and the fortunes in their life. They take ownership. There are tons of studies highlighting different stats on sobriety (check out the links in the show notes below). [ 10:53 ] Paul introduces Zach. Zach has twin boys and has been sober for 3.5 years, his last drink was March 9th (4 years ago) at about 3am. Zach is 27, and born and raised in a small city just North of the Atlanta area. He has been married for two years. By day Zach is a marketer and by night he is a self-proclaimed beat-boxer for his kids. [ 13:28 ] Talk to us about your Elevator. What led up to you quitting drinking? "I quit 1,000 times in my own head... It's a revolving circle." Zach started drinking when he was about 12 years old, when he had about 3 Budweisers and remembered waking up in the pool. "I remember at that point wanting to make my life all about drinking." Zach continued to drink all through high school... Zach got expelled from school for the last half of his senior year due to drinking. "That's kind of where I kick-started my 'drinking career'." Zach was 19 when he got his second arrest due to drinking and had to spend 30 days in jail. This was the first time when Zach thought, "Ok, this is me, this is alcohol." [ 18:25 ] What were your drinking habits like? The second Zach got out of jail he found a Bud Ice in a friend's fridge and was at the bar that night, still underage. Zach usually took Mondays and Tuesdays off... In his early 20s it shifted to needing a drink to feel calm. "I started buying airplane bottles of rum. I was living with my girlfriend at the time and she knew I drank often, but I would drink all day long when she was gone and then pop a beer open when she came home in the evening, acting like it was my first drink." [ 21:31 ] Did you ever try to moderate? "I'd kick liquor away and just focus on beer. I'd binge drink real hard on the weekends. Right at the end of 22 I started diving into other substances... I got into meth and then I didn't have to drink. Once I made that leap I felt really defeated." Zach's own father introduced him to meth. (Unfortunately, his dad is still walking that story.) Thankfully, Zach didn't get addicted to meth and was able to back off of that substance, which let the drinking pick back up. [ 25:02 ] Alcohol is an extremely addictive substance. How do you feel about that? "I completely agree. It was like relearning to walk and talk (on choosing sobriety). Everything used to spike my interest in drinking... It's so highly addictive." [ 26:36 ] Zach talks about his father and living with a family of addictive patterns. [ 28:56 ] How did you do it? Talk to us about how you got sober. "It was just an ordinary night... I got home at about 3am. I had to crawl through the window because I couldn't find my keys. I slept in 'til about 10am and awoke to missed calls from my girlfriend..." Zach had missed her Crossfit competition, something that was extremely important to her. "It was like the 10th time I had missed something. She was broken... Mentally, I couldn't tell another lie. I was exhausted." When she came home later Zach broke down and asked for help. Those first few months were tough. "I was trying to fit in, I was not answering any phone calls. I was rationalizing it... I was white-knuckling it for about 2 mos. I was just a dry drunk..." Zach ended up at an AA meeting on his way to the liquor store... He was blown away by the diversity of the room and yet everyone was telling 'his' story. Zach discovered his first glance of hope at this AA meeting. "You can have a better lifestyle, a better life." [ 35:23 ] Zach talks about getting a sponsor and working his program. Buddy, from RE #67, became Zach's sponsor. [ 37:53 ] How do you stay sober today? "I try to get up earlier than my kids so I can read... If I meet with Buddy we go through the step work, the stories or just kick it and drink some coffee... I try to hit 3 meetings a week, it allows me to share. It helps me hold myself accountable. I'm involved in a non-profit, Orphan Aid Liberia. Humility has been a big word in my recovery... Now, I can actually look outward and give back." [ 41:23 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? "Blue light. Anything to do with a cop." Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? "

Val has been sober for 6 months... This is her story… Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE! SHOW NOTES If you drink enough alcohol over time our brains will change due to the response to alcohol. Some of the damage is irreversible, thus proving that you can pick up right where you left off (upon relapse). This is because there is still a dopamine hypersensitivity. Relapse is part of Paul's story… After being sober for 2.5 years, Paul got another 8mos. of drinking under his belt, picking up right where he left off. There was no ramp-up phase because Paul's brain is hyper-sensitive to alcohol. Good news! Even though in the brain there is this environment where dopamine hyper-sensitivity still exists, if you don't drink then it's not activated. This change is irreversible, but, if you don't drink then it doesn't react… Check out RE 87 for more detailed info on dopamine and our crazy brains. [ 06:34 ] Paul introduces Val. Val took her last drink on April 8th, 2016, just about 6 months ago. She is 44, married, and has 3 kids and one grandchild. She is originally from Billings, MT and has lived in the Big Sky area for 20 years. She loves to bake, knit, garden, camp, hike and just be outside. [ 09:25 ] Talk to us about your Elevator. When did you hit bottom? "Well, I've hit many bottoms in my life, but I finally reached that point where I knew I needed to change or else I was going to lose everything." This was not Val's first attempt at quitting drinking. She first tried to quit in her mid-20s when she decided to start having kids. Val quit drinking for 8 years, but was miserable. After owning a restaurant and dealing with the stress of that, Val broke down and started drinking again… After 8 years of sobriety! "That's just how I dealt with stress. (Drinking) was the only way I knew how." [ 11:03 ] What is a dry drunk? "I was not drinking, but my mind was still crazy. I was still trying to control everything around me, I didn't understand life and I always felt that life was out to get me, that I was the victim." Val explains her unhappiness as afraid of people, not being comfortable in her own skin, not having a higher power and trying to do everything herself… Now, Val is asking for help. "Before, I felt that I was a failure if I had to ask for help. My expectations that I held were so high and I could never meet them." [ 12:57 ] How much did you drink? Talk to us about your drinking habits. Val was drinking at least a bottle of wine a night, and more like two bottles a night. "Because I was drinking wine, I thought it was not a big deal, that it wasn't a problem." Val tried every rule in the book: just on the weekends, or only in the evening... "When I started drinking during the day, that's when I started having oh-shit moments." Val always used the stress of work to qualify needing a drink. [ 14:30 ] Val talks about losing her restaurant and the feelings of failure and stress that accompanied the experience. [ 15:48 ] How did you do it? Walk us through the first day, the first week. "The first day was a morning that I was so sick that I couldn't go to work. I was so sick, sicker than I had ever been. It was a Tuesday night, and I was just sitting at home watching Netflix." Val was watching Amy (the Amy Winehouse documentary) and discovered that Amy had died from alcohol poisoning… Val had a huge wakeup moment, realizing that the same thing could easily happen to her. Val white-knuckled it for about 30 days before she started drinking again. After connecting with Paul on a webinar, she accepted help and went to her first AA meeting. [ 18:59 ] Tell us about your program. "I read in the Big Book everyday if I can, usually before bed. I know a lot of people try to start their day with a reading, but I have a kid to get ready…" Val goes to her home group meeting every week, has a service position, meets with her sponsor every week and she is on a committee. Val chooses to stay involved. [ 19:49 ] Do you feel more confident with 6mos. of sobriety? We are all shaky when we step onto new foundations. "It is getting better, but I know I have work to do. I need to keep working on my program. I'm on the 4th step right now… Writing stuff out has been very helpful." Val shares one of her resentments which is part of the 4th step, taking responsibility for her actions, emotions and experiences. "You need to forgive yourself in order to let the anger out… It feels awesome. I look at the world in a different way." [ 24:39 ] What have you learned about yourself through sobriety? "I've been very dishonest with myself throughout life and I don't want to be that way anymore. I just want to be who I am… I always felt that nobody would want to know the real me, but that's not true, that's the disease speaking." [ 25:46 ] What are your thoughts on relapse? "Well, I'm only a drink away from relapse. It

Kenny has been sober for 1 & 1/2 years... This is his tale... Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here! SHOW NOTES Why did alcohol stop working for me? (***Spoiler Alert*** If it still works for you, IT WILL STOP working.) I needed more and more of it to fill the same effects, a.k.a. the pleasure… We know that alcohol increases cravings in the brain by releasing dopamine… But, dopamine is actually the LEARNING chemical in the brain. Thus, it teaches us where to find pleasure… After we have found pleasure, i.e. tipping a bottle back over and over again, the body will eventually turn down alcohol to protect itself. Our brain is a beautiful system that has kept us alive for millions of years… How does it do this? The brain produces another chemical, which turns down the stimulation. I've learned that I have enhanced dopamine receptors. Now, if we lived in the age of saber-toothed tigers and always having to fight for our food, this would have kept me alive, however, not now and no longer! Over time, I needed more and more alcohol to get to the point of stimulation, of pleasure, I even needed it just to feel normal… This is an evolutionary mechanism built inside of us. However, the pleasure that we should be seeking is food, water, shelter, and Cinnamon Pop-Tarts! Not alcohol!!! [ 06:18 ] Paul Introduces Kenny. Kenny has been sober since April 3rd, 2015, about one and a half years. Kenny is 27 and grew up in a small farm town in California. He spent some time in Riverside, CA before moving to Montana to attend grad school. He is a PhD student, studying statistics. Kenny loves to work on his truck, build bikes and computers and wander around in nature, getting lost in the wilderness. [ 07:30 ] Talk to us about your Elevator. What led up to your desire to stop drinking? "It was a long, slow descent with a lot of bumps towards the bottom." Kenny's roommates started to notice and comment on his drinking habits. "Last March I missed classes because I was too drunk to get to class, this had never happened before… I had a BIG eye-opening experience and realized that this wasn't just about me. I had to take responsibility." [ 10:02 ] How much did you drink? Did you ever try to put rules in place? "It started when I was 21… I realized that it kind of helped me get my Math homework done. I'd have a gin and tonic or two, nightly or whenever I needed to get stuff done and then from there I was drinking like half a ⅕ of brandy in one afternoon." This gradually progressed to being hungover or still drunk the next morning. Eventually Kenny was blacking out and waking up on a strange couch… "I came up with some schemes. I was supposed to call my best friend to stay accountable, which just led me to lying to her about how much I was drinking, which made me feel worse. My next scheme was that I got a little notebook, thinking that I could be accountable to myself and do it on my own…" This turned into Kenny tearing himself down and feeling guilty. [ 15:33 ] Kenny talks more about his Elevator... "I started talking to my new roommate who's father had turned his life around after connecting with AA. She suggested that I give him a call, which I did. He completely understood the craving and how when I drank it was just never enough…" [ 17:05 ] Kenny discusses "that feeling in your head." [ 18:08 ] What was it like when you quit drinking? Kenny checked out a few AA meetings after talking to his roommate's Dad… It took a couple times before he was ready to change his life. Sometime around April 3rd, 2015, there was a party… Kenny went to it having decided that he would try to drink just one drink and then go home. Kenny nursed that one drink for 1 ½ hours and was so proud that he took the opportunity to do shots with a buddy, waking up the next morning on a couch and not remembering anything from the night before… That next morning Kenny decided to give AA a shot. [ 21:15 ] Kenny talks about his first experience at an AA meeting... [ 22:00 ] Walk us through a typical day and how you stay sober. "I usually get up at 4:00 or 4:30 am, I realized I'm a morning person! I make a nice big breakfast, take a shower and then head to school. I ride my bike and get to see the sun come up… In the evenings I try to meditate for 15 minutes or so and play my guitar." Kenny has been working on mindfulness, trying to clear and calm his mind, becoming more aware of what's going on inside his body. "I just close my eyes and focus my breath, just acknowledging what kind of breath I'm taking, just trying to pay attention to what's going on inside." [ 35:17 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? "When I was visiting my mom for Christmas and I got a call from my housemates saying that they couldn't put up with my drinking any longer and that I needed to find a new place…" Did y

Jenny has been sober for 13 months... This is her tale... Resources mentioned in RE 86: Connect with Cafe RE For $12.00 per month, you can have unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meet-ups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel. First month FREE with Promo Code: Elevator. Sobriety Tracker Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ SHOW NOTES Ok, so you're doing a pretty good job of following your rules, your systems, or you're experimenting with sobriety… Have you ever said the words "I got this"? "I would say these words over and over again while putting these rules, systems, games, etc. in place when trying to get sober on my own…" Paul was sober for over 2 years when those mean little words came back, "You know what Paul, we got this… We're totally good." And, DAMN IT! After two years of sobriety, we drank (me and Gary)... "We didn't got this…" If you ever catch yourself saying, "Hey, you got this…" be very cognizant, very aware, and very, very cautious... "I got this," the three most dangerous words an alcoholic can say. [ 05:33 ] Paul Introduces Jenny. Jenny has been sober for just over a year, since August 25th, 2015. "My life is better than it was when I was drinking." Jenny grew up in Helena, MT and currently lives in Bozeman, MT. She is married to an amazing man and has 4 kids, ages 4-14. She loves to run, workout and go to the gym. "If it involves exercise, I love to do it!" [ 06:59 ] Jenny speaks about her drinking history. The alcoholic tendency has always been there for Jenny… "I don't think that ever in my life I had just one drink. It was always like game-on. In High School I was "the party girl." Jenny knew she had to stop before she hit the absolute bottom. [ 10:46 ] What was it like drinking and taking care of 4 kids? (Paul openly admits that he could barely take care of Ben, the Standard Poodle, when he was drinking…) "When the drinking started to escalate, it was sort of the perfect storm. My husband is a firefighter and started working 24-hr. shifts… Things really started to get out of control. When I was drinking, I felt like I was the best mom in the world… But, I was really checked out. I was selfish. In the back of my mind I was always concerned with refilling my glass." Saying those words, "Yes, I am an alcoholic," was the scariest thing Jenny has ever said… "Admitting that I didn't have all of my shit together…" [ 14:06 ] Jenny talks about how admitting "I am an alcoholic" is liberating. "That dirty little secret I had been carrying around... I had been doing all of these things to convince myself that I didn't have a problem. I was volunteering, doing insane workouts at 5am (sometimes still drunk)... After, a lot of moms came to me and said, "Hey, I think I have the same problem." [ 16:43 ] Talk to me about Run for Recovery. Run for Recovery is a run supporting Alive Again Life Recovery Mission which exists for the purpose of creating a safe Christian environment for individuals of all ages to fellowship, learn and heal from addiction and addiction-related effects. Running and exercising has helped Jenny so much through this process (choosing sobriety). [ 18:39 ] How did you do it? What was Day 1 like? "I just did it. I just quit. I went moment by moment, minute by minute. I binge listened to Recovery Elevator. After about a week I got into my crying phase. I was ashamed. I beat myself up over poor choices and poor parenting…" [ 20:20 ] What other methods besides running do you use? "Reading a lot, educating myself, and sometimes just forcing myself to sit still. Forcing myself to feel those feelings." Jenny has found that her athletic performance has increased since being sober. "I feel one million times better than when I was drinking." Working out is definitely an outlet for Jenny. "It's definitely better than vodka." [ 29:06 ] What's on your bucket-list? "Half marathons, Spartan racing, keep volunteering, discover more about myself, and to be a little kinder to myself…" [ 30:02 ] What have you learned about yourself? "I'm a type-A, over-achieving, control freak, and working on being a little nicer to myself… We need to be nice to ourselves. We need to talk to ourselves like we talk to a friend. We really beat ourselves up." Jenny has learned about what triggers her and how to manage cravings (they do come). She finds other things to do, like playing with her kids, going for a run, or just sitting with the craving and letting it pass. [ 35:17 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? "4 or 5 months before I quit drinking, my husband and I went to Las Vegas. My husband went to bed and I went to the "gift shop," which just meant that I went drinking. I couldn't get the key to work to get back into the room and I ended up passing out just outside of our bedroom. My husband found me at 3am." Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? "That panick

John has been sober for 5 years... This is his story... Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE For $12.00 per month, you can have unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meet-ups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel. First month FREE with Promo Code: Elevator. Sobriety Tracker AA Recovery Elevator Episode #1: Do You Have a Drinking Problem Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ SHOW NOTES "In Episode 1 of RE, we (the human Paul & the dog Ben) do a test to determine if I am an alcoholic. The results… Blatantly clear. Yes, I am an alcoholic." Paul found it extremely difficult to stop drinking after having just one drink. For about a decade, he lived in the pickle of "one drink was too much and 1,000 drinks was just not enough." How the hell do you navigate that? Well, the answer is definitely, "Don't drink." Now, at Episode 85, Paul has an even better test to determine if you've got a drinking problem. Preliminary steps before taking this self-assessment: Make sure you are hydrated. Drink lots of water (if you are already drinking a beer during this portion, then yes, you too are an alcoholic). Stretch out. Loosen up. Maybe even do some burpees! Make sure you've got enough lead in your pencil and ink in your pen! Take some deep breaths. Paul's Self-Assessment Test: (***This is going to be the new metric moving forward, I guarantee it! No need to go spend a ton of money on any other tests...This assessment is free and accurate.***) Have you ever wondered, "Do I have a drinking problem?" YES or NO ***FEEL FREE TO PRESS PAUSE, GRAB A GLASS OF WATER, SHARPEN YOUR PENCIL, ETC., AS THIS IS THE HALF WAY POINT OF THE SELF ASSESSMENT TEST*** Have you ever asked yourself, "Would my life be better without alcohol?" YES or NO CONGRATULATIONS!!! You have just finished the Recovery Elevator self-assessment! Answer Key: Listen to Paul on RE 85 @ [ 5:11 ] "Quitting drinking isn't easy, but my life is exponentially better since I've quit drinking." In the previous 84 podcasts, there's a pretty good roadmap already laid out for you… Not only will your life improve (yes, there will be speed bumps), but the lives of those around you will improve too! In all honesty, these self-assessment tests are this simple. It's not easy, but it's better. [ 10:25 ] Paul Introduces John. John was born and raised and lives in Wichita, Kansas. He has a 3-year old son. He enjoys working on his car, experimenting with cooking, and comic books… He is engaged to be married to a woman who is also in the program (AA). John's last drink was August 28th, 2011… John kept trying to do it (quit drinking) on his own, but time and time again, it just didn't happen! After telling himself, "I'm just going to have two beers..." 3 or 4 beers, a few mixed drinks, sake for the whole table (they were going to a bar after dinner) and a $400 bar tab later… "I woke up on the floor in my undies, covered in puke (puke in the hallway, puke in the bathroom)... I just felt that someone was telling me to get help." John realized he just couldn't do this alone. [ 20:29 ] When did you decide to first quit drinking? "I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I kept trying to do it myself, but I'd always find a "special" occasion to drink." This is one of those things (choosing sobriety) where you actually have to do the work! [ 22:19 ] "I think I got this." John explains what this means for him... To John, this phrase means that he's letting his ego tell him how to run things. "I tried on my own without a program, guidance or a schedule and it just wouldn't stick. Ever." When John got his 2nd DUI, he knew something was up… John knew that if he drank again, he would get behind the wheel. [ 24:15 ] Talk to us about Alcoholics Anonymous. John was completely blown away by the spectrum of diverse people that made up his first AA meeting, which was quite contrary to what he "knew" AA was going to be! [ 31:08 ] John discusses weight loss, cooking and what he does with all his booze-FREE time! [ 32:59 ] What's your favorite dance move? Thanks Paul for getting in some humor! In his sobriety, John has really enjoyed running, but he does not prefer the "Running Man," and claims that the "Robot" is more his style... [ 35:48 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? "I had the DUI 50-moped (the scooter I rode when I had my license suspended) and I had been drinking. I got on the moped… I just could not stop myself from drinking and driving." Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? "That day that I swore to myself that I'd only have 2 beers at the restaurant and ended up wondering, "How the hell did this happen?" What's your plan moving forward? "Keep going to meetings, keep being thankful for my sobriety, keep asking for more sobriety, keep being honest with my sobriety, and keep reaching out to people." What's your favorite re

Elaine has been sober for 15 days… This is her story... Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE For $12.00 per month, you can have unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meet-ups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel. First month FREE with Promo Code: Elevator. recoveryelevator.com/survey Sobriety Tracker AA Elaine's podcast: Throttle Podcast Instagram: @throttlepodcast Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ SHOW NOTES "Today, I want to talk about feelings…" Feelings. Fun, right? We often hear that "drinking is but a symptom…" But, what the hell does that mean? It means we have feelings, experiences, and other life situations that we don't want to deal with, so we choose to cover them up with distractions, like drinking… "Two years and one week ago I used to drink all of these emotions away." Through some serious research, Paul has discovered that dogs (thanks to Ben for being part of this study) can teach us something about these feelings. Ok, so it's obvious that humans and dogs are different, but dogs can actually teach us how to lean into negative sensations and feelings… Take riding in a car for example, a dog (like Ben) will actually lean into uncomfortable sensations like curvy roads and the blowing wind. We can learn from our four-footed friends. 5 Strategies for Leaning Into Emotions: When you feel that negative emotion, lean into it. Don't categorize emotions as good or bad, just notice that the emotions are here. Breath and count to 10. Recognize where these feelings come from and begin to let-go. Let-go of the sensation, let-go of the experience. Know yourself. Begin to observe yourself from a 3rd-person point of view. Just watch. [ 09:24 ] Paul Introduces Elaine. Elaine's last drink was 15 days ago! Elaine has lived in a number of cities across Canada. She's in her 40s and does freelance work. She has been happily married for 25 years. She loves practicing karate (green belt), archery and riding her motorcycle. She is an introvert and an atheist. Elaine loves karate because of the mental part. "You really have to be focused and mindful." [ 13:44 ] When did you decide to first quit drinking? "That's a long road…" This time around, Elaine has joined AA. "My husband came home one day and told me a story about a great friend who was doing AA and it completely changed my view of AA." Elaine didn't feel that she had a rock bottom, but really resonated with the group the first time she joined an AA meeting. "I just couldn't fool myself any longer. It's a really open and honest group and I am an alcoholic." [ 17:31 ] What was it like, your first 24 hours, 72 hours…? It was a Wednesday, the day before we were leaving for a trip to my husband's family cottage, typically a long-weekend that involved drinking. "It was a white-knuckle weekend. I wasn't really sure what to do with myself." Elaine realized that in prior years the cottage was always an excuse to drink. [ 21:26 ] Talk to me about depression? Elaine has lived with depression since her teens. "When you mix alcohol with depression, it's never a good thing." During bouts of depression, everything becomes very arduous. Elaine now has the awareness to notice when depression is creeping up on her. "I used to start off with a couple of cocktails, have wine while making dinner and during dinner, and then finish off the night with a few night-caps. I would wake up the next day and feel terrible and would spend the whole next day beating myself up about it (the depression and the drinking). It was a vicious cycle." [ 26:44 ] What have you learned about yourself in the last 15 days? Elaine has learned that it is okay to feel really vulnerable and that it can be really hard to ask for help, but that she is also stronger than she thought and can do this and ask for help often. [ 27:56 ] What is your plan moving forward? Elaine plans to continue going to AA meetings where she finds a lot of strength in sharing stories with others and building camaraderie. "I really value their honesty. I find that alcoholism is like depression in a toolkit sense. I make sure that I get enough sleep, and I incorporate meditation and mindfulness. Fortunately, I have built these practices up in dealing with depression." [ 29:47 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? "The things that I don't remember due to blackouts." Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? "So many! Waking up from being asleep and rather than going back to sleep I got up at 3am and made myself a vodka tonic…" What's your favorite resource in recovery? "Other alcoholics, the Recovery Elevator podcast, and going to meetings." What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? "Stand up and take the 24-hour sobriety chip at the AA meeting." What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinki

Kendall has been sober for 130 days… Here's his story... Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE For $12.00 per month, you can have unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meet-ups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel. First month FREE with Promo Code: Elevator. recoveryelevator.com/survey Sobriety Tracker AA Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ SHOW NOTES Paul on Lowering the bar… "I have a podcast about being okay with the way things are, and I'll admit, this episode is not perfect, there are some things left out." Paul has been sober for 730 days. "Life at two years sober is better than life 730 days ago… My anxiety, that has pretty much gone away. But, on day 729, I had a near meltdown… The bar of expectations I had put in place for myself, had slowly risen up over the past 1 ½ years. On day 730, I realized that I needed to be kind to myself, to be patient and to get realistic. 2 years is not a long time, I still have so much more to go. On day 729, self-loathing showed up… again… I was so far out of my comfort zone, but that is where the growth happens, and that is where I have been for the past year and a half. So, I'm lowering the bar, I'm going to take the time to observe what I've done, what's going on around me and enjoy the moment. What's my plan moving forward? Well, I'm not going to change a darn thing." Paul is taking this one day at a time… One day at a time… [ 10:16 ] Paul Introduces Kendall: Kendall is 28 and has been sober for 130 days. "It feels great, I'm free. I don't have to carry the weight of being drunk." Kendall is from Lawrence, Kansas and moved to Montana 5 years ago as a professional painter, in his free time he likes to head up into the mountains. [ 11:25 ] What made you want to stop? Kendall surrendered to alcohol on the anniversary of a death of a best friend who died from a drunk driving accident. Kendall reset his sobriety date after smoking a bowl after attending another funeral of a close friend. [ 13:42 ] What were your drinking habits like? "I would drink at least a 12-pack if not more. I'd start in the morning just to calm the jitters, then the moment I got off work the fun began." Kendall used rules like "no hard alcohol," "just O'Douls," anything to maintain his sanity. "I got to drinking on the job, anything to keep my mind on alcohol." After being dismissed from a family Christmas dinner, Kendall knew something was up. [ 16:28 ] How did you do it? (on choosing sobriety) Kendall utilized the rules of AA. "They spoke my language, they have a plan and they know how to do it." Kendall felt connected once he got a sponsor, a home group and started doing service. "It works if you work it." [ 17:55 ] "Drinking is but a symptom…" Kendall dives into this idea. [ 18:32 ] What was it like, your first 24 hours, 72 hours…? "Oh boy, was that something else!" Kendall's brain was so hard wired to drink. "The people in the world aren't the problem, I always played the victim… It was all me. Selfish and self-centered." "The moment that you're able to accept some humility, that's when the freedom begins." Now, in sobriety, Kendall feels like the world is brighter and clearer. He can focus, eat and sleep, and do the things we do to be able to take care of ourselves. "It's crazy how I'm now able to read a chapter and comprehend what I'm reading… It's a gift." [ 23:36 ] What have you lost to alcohol? "I'd say I lost my job, an education, an opportunity for an education, family, friends, relationships…" [ 24:50 ] Have cravings come and what do you do to move forward? Kendall will pray and utilize his sponsor. "One time I went to the Wal-Mart parking lot and pushed carts back just to do something, to get out of my head." [ 27:34 ] What does your recovery portfolio look like today? "The moment I wake up, I pray. I have gone through "the big book and the 12 & 12". The first 30 minutes of my day are all geared towards AA. I use the serenity prayer. The moment I get off work I go to a meeting, come home, cook dinner and go to bed. I like to keep it simple." [ 28:37 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? "Christmas dinner when I wanted to see my family but I couldn't because I had been dismissed because of my habits." Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? "The morning after I had been fired for drinking on the job and I had to go meet with my boss… I just couldn't." What is your plan in sobriety moving forward? "To serve others and keep going to meetings." What's your favorite resource in recovery? "My sponsor." What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? "Keep coming back. It works if you work it." What parting piece of guidance can you give to our listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? "Keep your head out of the clouds and feet on the ground. Go to your local AA meeting." QUOTABLES "So

Chad, with 37 days of sobriety shares how he is doing it... Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE For $12.00 per month, you can have unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meet-ups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel. First month FREE with Promo Code: Elevator. Join Cafe RE in April for a trip to PERU! Trip details can be found here: http://www.recoveryelevator.com/peru/ Reddit Stop Drinking Forum - /r/stopdrinking SMART Recovery Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ SHOW NOTES Paul Introduces Chad Chad has been sober for 37 days! Boom! Chad racked up about 2.5 years of sobriety in a previous life... "It doesn't get any easier. The best thing you can do is to get sober and stay sober." Chad is 25 and works in the communications field. He was born and raised in Atlanta and has lived all over the world. Chad is currently single (and recommends staying this way in early sobriety). Chad is really into backpacking... He got totally hooked during his time in rehab. What were your drinking habits like? "I avoided drinking and other habits until the summer before I went to college. I was afraid that something would happen to me if I drank. Little did I realize that that would become a self-fulfilling prophecy." Chad joined a fraternity in college and was drinking close to a 750ml of "nasty" Burnett's vodka a day... Did you ever try to "cut-back" and put rules in place? "You name it, I did it... But nothing ever worked." Chad went to rehab around age 22/23 to a place in the Pisgah National Forest, where he relearned how to live life -- survival techniques, meditation, etc. Chad attributes the program to his sobriety. After 2.5 years of sobriety, what was your shoelace? What made you drink again...? "Oh man, as with so many men in sobriety, it was a lady friend..." Chad was going on a first date with a girl that he perceived to be way out of his league... Chad was so nervous and remembered how embarrassed he would feel if he had to explain on a first date that he doesn't drink... Looking back, Chad now knows that honesty is the answer. "One drink led to two drinks... And three months later I was back to blacking-out..." The girl left Chad after two months when she realized something just wasn't right. Chad believes that he had this experience so that he could add it to the long list of reasons why he doesn't drink. Chad talks about recovery and his recovery portfolio. Chad is working with a sponsor (AA) as he feels that he needs to get relief quickly. Chad is working one step every week right now -- it's like a mini 12-week program. AA is working for Chad and he is going to keep doing it... Besides listening to the RE podcast (Chad's favorites are RE 67 with Buddy and any that highlight the newly sober). "These relationships that we form (in recovery) go way beyond the face value of most relationships. People in recovery can relate on such a deeper level." When your next shoelace comes, when life happens, what do you plan on doing differently? Chad is now asking for help. "It's admitting that you need help, that I need to reach out for additional resources. I see this as a sign of being a man." It's calling his sponsor, connecting with his recovery groups/contacts, and listening to the RE podcast. It is a courageous thing to be vulnerable and ask for help. Who's your favorite Atlanta hip-hop star? Listen in to get an update on ATL stars from Paul & Chad! Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? "In November of 2015, I got behind the wheel of my car and decided to visit a friend 4 hours away... Short of the long of it, I woke up in jail the next day in Raven Co. I was off by quite a bit..." Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? "37 days ago when a co-worker pulled me aside and asked me if I was drunk in a meeting. It was no longer a personal thing." What is your plan in sobriety moving forward? "Continue to utilize and build 'that' network. I'm so afraid to ask for help, so if I'm constantly surrounding myself with other alcoholics in recovery I know that I can always reach out for help." What's your favorite resource in recovery? "On Reddit - Stop Drinking sub-Reddit, where people can chat in a forum, and SMART recovery." What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? "Footwork. It's what action you're taking in order to stay sober the next day. Putting one foot in front of the other." What parting piece of guidance can you give to our listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? "Listen to the examples that people have provided, examine the evidence and determine for yourself what you're willing to do to get back on track and to be happy because what you're doing right now clearly isn't working. Take an objective look and take action." QUOTABLES "When you make it through a craving, that feeling of accomplishment, that g

Julie, with 118 days of sobriety, shares how she does it... Resources mentioned in this episode: RE needs your input! Follow the link below to fill out a quick survey to determine the future of the RE Podcast! Recovery Elevator Survey Connect with Cafe RE For $12.00 per month, you can have unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meetups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel. First month FREE with Promo Code: Elevator. Join Cafe RE in April for a trip to PERU! Trip details can be found here: http://www.recoveryelevator.com/peru/ Rockstars Who are Sober: http://www.soberrecovery.com/recovery/12-rock-stars-proud-to-be-sober/#/most-popular http://www.eonline.com/news/271628/amy-winehouse-s-cause-of-death-accidental-alcohol-poisoning-blood-level-five-times-the-legal-limit Good reads mentioned by Julie: Drinking: A Love Story, by Caroline Knapp Let's Take the Long Way Home: A Memoir of Friendship, by Gail Caldwell Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ SHOW NOTES Paul Introduces Julie Julie has been sober for 118 days. Julie is 46, she grew up in Annapolis and Germany. She has been working with the same marketing company for 20 years. Julie is on her 4th year in a relationship with a great guy who is a normal drinker. She loves to stay active and be outside. What are you going to do differently this time? Julie was sober for 129 days before relapsing at a wedding. Now, the next thing for her is to get to 130 days. Julie was "white-knuckling" it, doing it all on her own. This time around, the difference is that Julie is reaching out and connecting through Cafe RE, sober friends, and she is holding herself accountable. Julie speaks on how to tell your friends, "I don't drink," Talk to me about your bottom? "I let down a friend. I had promised to help a friend at a certain time. I drank. And I passed out… Sleeping through my commitment." Despite many other signs that somehow didn't get Julie to quit for very long… this was the final trigger. "I'd have many incidents where I would stop for one to three days, but this last one was it." What were your drinking habits like? "I was a wine drinker. When one (referring to either 'red' or 'white') would present a problem to me, I would switch. Sometimes it was 'red' and then it was 'white.' I don't like beer or hard liquor. In High School I felt that my shyness was hurting me, so I started drinking to "loosen-up." Come college, I'd be the one passed out on the couch. It never occurred to me that I had a problem. In my 30s, it got pretty scary. I started drinking alone. I just took the ball and ran with it." Did you ever try to "cut-back" and put rules in place? Julie played games. The 'red' wine, 'white' wine game. She wouldn't keep wine in the house, but would play games where she based her whole lifestyle around the wine shop hours. She used day/time constraints to "control" the drinking… Shockingly, it didn't work. "I remember standing on my front porch thinking, drinking is my biggest problem ever." Julie used to drink to calm her anxiety, but what she found was that drinking actually caused anxiety. Walk me through the start of your sobriety. "Whatever works for you, grab it and go with it!" Julie does not participate in AA, but sees it as a very valid way to support a sober journey. Julie uses the Cafe RE Facebook group to connect and create sober like-minded friends. Julie reads a lot of books, listens to podcasts, and connects with others. What does your recovery portfolio look like today? "In recovery, I have a whole lot more free time." Julie is very connected to Cafe RE's Facebook Group (unsearchable and private group). Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? "I passed out in an Uber and the driver couldn't wake me up when he got to my house so he called an ambulance." Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? "I had a couple of these… My habit was that I would take my wine to bed. I wanted to be safe, so I'd take my wine to bed… If I woke up at 6am and there was still wine left, I'd finish the bottle." What is your plan in sobriety moving forward? "I'm going to stick with Cafe RE, the facebook page, and continue reaching out and connecting and sharing with people." What's your favorite resource in recovery? Besides Cafe RE! "Drinking: A Love Story, a book by a woman who has now passed away. She wrote about her drinking story in a way that I was able to connect with." Julie also mentions, Let's Take the Long Way Home: A Memoir of Friendship. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? "Life is better sober." What parting piece of guidance can you give to our listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? "You can do it. It is absolutely possible. You just can." Julie recognizes that she is in early sobriety, "But, it is doable!" What did you lose to alcohol? "I lost a lot of self respect and

Lo, with 7.5 months of sobriety, shares her story... FYI! Alcoholism does not segregate. It is straight-up an equal, all around ass-kicker… Alcoholism does not care about your gender, race, social status, height, weight, athletic prowess, economic status or celeb status. Yep, that's right, this mean celebrities can be alcoholics too! It's just that you don't ever hear about the list of celebs that fade away because their drinking habits become too much… They just literally fade away. Adios… But, what you maybe didn't know is the list of recovering alcoholics that run the Hollywood gamut. So here it goes, a short list of the Famous & Sober: Stephen King, Ben Affleck (rehab in 2001), Michael J. Fox, Jamie Lee Curtis, Diana Ross, Mel Gibson, Johnny Depp, Mickey Mantle, Eminem, Anthony Hopkins, and Harry Potter (became sober is 2010). Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE For $12.00 per month, you can unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meetups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel. First month FREE with Promo Code: Elevator. RE Community Forum [email protected] Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ SHOW NOTES [ 08:40 ] Paul Introduces Lo Lo has been sober for 7.5 months. She is originally from Northern Minnesota with a bad (but proud) habit of moving back to Bozeman, Montana time and time again. "It has been a good place to keep coming back to." Lo is a massage therapist. She enjoys running, hiking, coffee, theatre, and is rediscovering her passion for art. "There are so many more hours in the day now that I'm practicing sobriety," comments Lo on making time for creativity and art. [ 10:52 ] What brought you to the decision to stop drinking? "I surrendered enough." It took Lo close to a year to truly decide to get an AA sponsor and stick with the plan. "The previous day I had wanted to drink so bad. The next day it returned, so I drank. It was enough, the shame, the guilt, the wanting to commit suicide the next day. It was enough. My emotional hangovers were just so heavy." [ 14:29 ] Did you have any 'plans'? "Sometimes I would wake up and feel shitty enough that I didn't want to drink. My therapist told me to try to have only x amount of drinks per week… I usually hit the mark by Monday or Tuesday. I would tally up the drinks at the end of the week, and I just never could make it…" [ 17:23 ] How did you do it 7.5 months ago? "I finally got serious with the program (referring to AA). It took me several months to come to the understanding that I was an alcoholic. It was time to take the program seriously." [ 19:45 ] Paul refers to the idea of "breaking up with the word alcoholic." Check out RE #75 for more on this! [ 21:07 ] Lo speaks about her struggles, discovering who she is and what having a higher power means to her. "I have to learn to trust it. To let go." Lo finds relief in this technique, knowing that she has relief from her mind and anxiety. [ 25:39 ] What does your recovery portfolio look like today? Walk me through a day in recovery with Lo. Lo gets out for a morning run a couple times a week, drinks coffee, meditates, and tries to stay conscious of being connected to her higher power. Lo also stays in contact with people from the program (AA), texting, calling and just connecting. [ 31:48 ] Lo talks about the 'Pink Cloud' that has not shown up yet. [ 29:00 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? "Last summer when I drank TOO much. I wasn't planning on drinking that evening and then had a suicide attempt." What is your favorite Flow Riders song? "That's a great band!" Paul is also a comedian... Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? "The same night that I had the suicide attempt. My actions were just going down a road that I wasn't even thinking about." What is your plan moving forward? "Keeping up with my friendships, connecting, going to meetings and listening to RE." What's your favorite resource in recovery? "AA Program and the Podcast (RE)." What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? "The goal is not to feel better about life, but to stay sober." What parting piece of guidance can you give to our listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? "It's worth all the hard work and it will pay off. Don't quit before the miracle happens." QUOTABLES "Adios alcohol, welcome back hobbies and passions." - Paul "If you're concerned enough about your drinking and you're at an AA meeting (you're probably an alcoholic)" - Lo "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!" Don't forget to support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here!

Randy, with 124 days of sobriety, shares how he did it. Ponder this. We have been conditioned to think that alcohol is relaxing. Now, cue the visions of a Corona commercial; a couple on the beach, kicking back beer after beer… In fact this notion of "relaxation" has the exact opposite effect on our bodies. Alcohol actually slows down your brain's function, affecting two neurotransmitters, Glutamate and GABA. Glutamate is an excitatory neurotransmitter that is released by nerve cells in the brain. It is responsible for sending signals between nerve cells, and under normal conditions it plays an important role in learning and memory. When we consume alcohol, Glutamate production slows W-A-Y down, completely bogging down your brain's neuro-highways. GABA, is an inhibitory neurotransmitter that reduces energy and slows down brain activity. Alcohol increases GABA productions…. Folks, that is just not a good thing. This process starts instantly after just one drink… And stays with you long after you stop drinking… Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE For $12.00 per month, you receive unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meetups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel. First month FREE with Promo Code: Elevator. RE on Facebook RE on Instagram Jason Vale's book : Kick the Drink...Easily! Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ SHOW NOTES [ 07:34 ] Paul Introduces Randy Randy has been sober for 124 days (using the sobriety tracker). "It feels great, every day is a new experience." Randy is from the East Coast (grew up in RI) and made his way around the world in the Air Force. Randy found his career through the military. Randy now works in aviation with the FAA in Guam, U.S.A. Randy is a hardcore cyclist, with a renewed passion for pedaling. [ 11:29 ] What was your elevator like? What was your bottom? "I'd been a lifelong drinker and never thought that I would have a problem, I thought drinking to some degree was healthy…" Randy made all kinds of "plans"… a 30-day sober binge, operating in moderation, writing, using apps, etc… "IT DID NOT WORK!"… "I have that switch, once you turn it on, it doesn't really turn itself off…" In preparation for his daughter's baby shower, Randy noticed that he went through a 6-pack within an hour… He quickly opened up the next 6-pack and shortly thereafter found himself drinking a bottle of wine… "The next morning I'm completely useless, I wasn't there, I wasn't available…" The shower happened and the next day I thought to myself, "I don't want to do this anymore, that continuous vicious cycle." [ 26:30 ] Randy speaks about his clarity and peace of mind being sober. [ 26:59 ] What does your recovery portfolio look like today? Walk me through a day in the life of Randy. "It's staying engaged with the process and the journey of sobriety. I think about alcohol multiple times throughout the day, and then I just have to let it go…" "Yeah, yeah, there's the beer (commenting on the coolers full of beer @ Kmart)," says Randy. "Just noticing these thoughts and letting them go, constantly reminding myself why I'm doing this. Cafe RE is the strongest network that I have. I've been to one meeting (AA), and it was a candlelight vigil. I just haven't found myself showing up at meetings, just not yet anyways." [ 36:02 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? "The day that I ran my own sailboat on the ground. I haven't shared this with too many people, I nearly lost my boat that day and it was absolutely alcohol related. I was boating under the influence and couldn't execute all of the steps necessary to avoid the reef." Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? "Oh many! The sailboat ride where I had my hand in the cooler for 8 hours was one for sure…" What is your plan moving forward? "More of the same. Reminding myself of all of the positive things that have come from leaving alcohol behind. And, living my life! Just knowing that I don't have to have a drink to experience things." What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? "Listening to yourself. If it doesn't feel right to you, then it probably isn't okay." What parting piece of guidance can you give to our listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? "Just to be honest with yourself. If you wake up with that heavy feeling like you've gotta take action, do it. Don't beat yourself up, listen to yourself and take it one day at a time." What brand of boat shoes would you recommend? "If you've got a boat, you don't need shoes… unless you've got a staff…" You've got listen to really get it! QUOTABLES "Enough is enough. I was tired of waking up with that dull, heavy feeling in the mornings." - Randy "I've got to take this one day at a time." - Randy "If you're a real boater, you don't need shoes." - Paul "Maintain a clean deck." - Randy "We took the elevator

Annie has been sober for 2 years. She never thought twice about her drinking because she didn't know enough about it. Annie started journaling about her drinking habits as an exploration in March of 2013 which enabled her to stop drinking in December of 2013. Annie is from Colorado and works in marketing. She is married with children and loves the outdoors (hiking, skiing). [ 02:08 ] When did your Elevator hit its bottom? When did you finally decide to stop drinking? Annie was living in London when her Elevator hit bottom the first time. Annie and her family were going to the London Eye (an amusement park) and she had decided it was a good idea to bring in two large beers, packed in her purse, to sip on. "I dropped my purse and the beers exploded, spraying beer all over my children and my parents." "I had a 'What the fuck has happened, what am I doing?' moment right then." On another trip, Annie was traveling all over the world for work, she comments, "You'd take off on the airplane and get drunk, and then I'd justify having drinks in the lounge… I was pretty much existing on coffee and alcohol. I realized that I had to get back into regular mommy life. I just remember sitting there thinking, Whoa, what is this?'" [ 04:27 ] Talk to me about your drinking habits? "The plans are my worst enemy! As soon as you start to try to stop something, it becomes even more tempting. It's like putting yourself on a diet." Annie had all sorts of ideas/plans: no drinking until 5pm, only having 2 glasses of wine (but after two she didn't care how many more she consumed), trying to have a sober day... "I remember finding an excuse every single day to drink. I was driving myself further and further into separateness and defensiveness." [ 06:31 ] How did you make the change (into sobriety)? "I didn't seek help. I just didn't know any better. I didn't know what I didn't know (referring to all the resources out there). I had a different kind of 'talking-to' with myself one day in the Heathrow airport, I decided to give myself permission to write about this, to explore this in a mindful way." Dr. John Sarno's work really inspired Annie to dive deeper into understanding her need to drink. [ 09:59 ] What was it like? Annie's research took her on a journey for 8-9 months. "I was still drinking during the research, but by the time I stopped, I had made peace with it. On an emotional level, I felt free." "It was like being sick to save my life for about a month. There were a lot of tears and a lot of laughter and joy." [ 13:23 ] This Naked Mind - Control Alcohol by Annie Grace Paul lets the Cat out of the Bag (meow!) - Annie Grace wrote, "This Naked Mind - Control Alcohol". It is a MUST read for recovery. [ 14:40 ] What was the push back like after writing a book that wasn't based on AA? "I questioned the word 'alcoholic' because in my research, any organism can become addicted to something. I took issue with this because we are all built with flesh, blood, bones, and cells… We are all the same. The word 'alcoholic' is really a solace for people." [ 20:12 ] Annie talks about the Hedonic Threshold and the fact that alcohol is just plain addictive. [ 25:17 ] What is the difference between the conscious and the unconscious mind? Annie speaks wholeheartedly about protecting her unconscious mind and understanding the need to have self-compassion, self-worth and acceptance in this process. [ 31:15 ] Annie's Projects This Naked Mind - Control Alcohol is available on Amazon. She is also working on a second book that focuses on the first few years of her sobriety, highlighting techniques she used to maintain a clean and naked mind and keep the garbage out. Annie is also putting together a video-based course complete with worksheets and exercises that she hopes to launch this Fall (2016). [ 32:12 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? [ 32:20 ] "Not having the memories. I don't remember moving day and moving days are supposed to be special. I lost that day." Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? [ 32:52 ] "I had a lot of those. They were all at 3AM when I'd wake up and couldn't remember how much I'd drank the night before." What's your plan in sobriety moving forward? [ 33:10 ] "Continuously protecting my unconscious mind, continuously asking "why" and "what." What is your favorite resource in recovery? [ 33:33 ] "Ten minutes of watching my breath every single day." What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? [ 34:11 ] "It's more about living than it is about sobriety. Living alcohol free and living your life." What parting piece of guidance can you give to our listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? [ 34:56 ] "Right now, in this moment, FORGIVE YOURSELF. Realize that you've been caught in an addictive trap. The sooner you can get to a place of acceptance and love yourself through this, opens the journey to becoming sober." QUOTABLES "There are so many people who are heavy drinkers

Westin, with over 3 years of sobriety shares how he did it. Some of my best memories are those of camping with my family in Southern Utah. Camping growing up used to consist of fishing, catching lizards and snakes, watching the sunrise and sunsets. It was a simple and joyous time that I spent with my family. These are fond memories. But, somewhere along the line, my camping experiences diminished, the joy of spending time in nature was replaced with Hot Dogs, Booze and Passing Out. Last weekend, I was camping with Ben (my partner in crime, my four-footed friend), we had called it a night and crawled into the back of my truck in the woods of Montana. Now, these are real woods, mountain lions, grizzlies, etc. Nature is not to be taken for granted around here. Suddenly, around 2am, I awoke to Ben's perked ears and sounds of snapping branches. The sounds grew louder as whatever was roaming the woods got closer… I reached for my headlamp… And... GOATS! Rocky Mountain Goats, a herd of them… Now, if I had been camping with Hot Dogs and Booze I would have been PASSED OUT (probably face down in a pile of biting red ants at that!) and would never have experienced this beauty, this joy. The Goats brought me out of the truck where I was then able to see the expansiveness of the sky and the stars and experience the cooling sensations of the pine trees. Nothing needed to change. I didn't need to drink a Keystone Light or 50 of them… I am now getting back my memories and creating new memories that are more than just a party. Memories such as this that fill me up with satisfaction, connection, and awe. AND NOW… onto the podcast! SHOW NOTES Paul Introduces Westin Westin is from Indianapolis, Indiana. He is 33, has been married for 7 years, and has an amazing little girl who is turning 4 in September. "She is the most important thing in my life alongside my sobriety." Westin works at an addiction treatment center as a "Recovery Coach." How long have you been sober? Westin has been sober for 2 years and 363 days, he is 2 days away from 3 years of sobriety! "Right now I'm in a place where I have to count days again. I'm in a weird place where I just have to count." says Westin on his sobriety. When did you realize it was time to quit drinking? "My bottom was 3 years ago almost to the date. I woke up face down on my Mom's couch, not knowing how I got there, and not knowing what happened over the past 24 hours. I was highly addicted to Klonopin and drinking on top of them. I looked up from the couch and just saw this look of utter disappointment on my Mom's face. It was different. I had unknowingly gone through her medicine cabinet the night before, and found all sorts of pills in my pockets." What were your drinking habits? "I was a blackout drinker from the age of 17. I was never trying to control it, I thought it was normal. I was proud of the amount of alcohol I could consume…" "But, I was physically addicted to it… Always struggling with anxiety and shaking. I couldn't function without that first drink, and then the pills took over." What does it mean, when you're back to counting the days? In the early days of sobriety Westin was counting: 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, 1-year sober… Getting those next tokens, proving to himself that he could do this. "I needed the external motivation. From 2-years sober to just now I didn't count, I didn't need to, but now, I'm back to counting the individual days. I've been referencing my sobriety tracker, and just trying to get through each day. It's not a comfortable feeling." The whole 'God' word in AA. That one word kept you from getting sober… Expand on that. Westin discusses his "religious" philosophy and how he made AA work as an agnostic. Westin had been agnostic (without knowledge, an individual who does not claim to say whether God exists or does not exist) most of his life. AA taught Westin to own his agnosticism, his belief system. "I'm now more comfortable being honest and open with who I am, and AA taught me this. I found a way to make my beliefs, or lack thereof, work within the framework of AA." The gift of desperation allowed Westin to take what works and leave the rest… How did you do it? (on getting sober) Westin went to a treatment center, Fairbanks Hospital in Indianapolis. "I looked at my wife and said, I think I need some help with this."… "We tried to do a walk in, but like a good addict I had just finished the rest of my klonopin refill (half of the prescription), so I had to wait. I went through a 7-day long detox and then a 6-week intensive outpatient treatment." What emotions did you feel? "I had anxiety through the roof. Drinking brought about terrible, terrible anxiety… But now, I didn't have my self medicating procedures in place. I had to face it. My anxiety was peaked out for 6 months. Drinking was not an option." "That was my first time going into treatment, I had been looking for a solution, and I just kept doing all the things that were recommended to me.

Simon, with 15 years of sobriety, shares how he did. Three years ago, Simon started the Hope Rehab Center in Thailand and has been helping people change transform their lives. The Conscious and the unconscious mind. I recently read the book "This Naked Mind - Control Alcohol" by Annie Grace and the chapter covering the how the brain worked was fascinating. Conscious: Aware of something, knowing that something exists or is happening. Unconscious: The part of the mind a person is not aware of but is a powerful force in controlling behavior. Consciousness: Being aware of something within oneself. The upper level of mental life that a person is aware of as contrasted with unconscious process. Warning: This may blow your mind... The unconscious mind is responsible for desires Studies show, we have two separate thinking systems. The conscious mind, and the unconscious mind When we want something to change in our life, we usually make a conscious decision. However, drinking is no longer a conscious decision. The unconscious mind doesn't get the memo Unconscious learning happens automatically and unintentionally We are conditioned to think drinking enhances our lives and makes us happy This is why when we want to drink less, our unconscious mind tells us to drink more. Insert major dilemma here. We have been conditioned to believe in alcohol. To believe that me and some random captain would make it happen. The unconscious mind is not logical. It's comprised of feelings, observations. It's the source of love, jealousy, fear, kindness and sadness. When a person makes a decision to quit drinking alcohol, their unconscious mind is never in on that conversation. Gary, pull up a chair. Studies dating back to the 1970's indicate our unconscious mind makes 1/3 of a second fast than our conscious mind. The unconscious mind controls the emotions. When someone tells yourself to stop having a bad day, that never works. But over time, this positive reinforcement can work. Liminal thinking, which we will get to in later podcast episodes, is how will cover how to converse with the unconscious mind. The unconscious mind is formed by beliefs, conclusions, assumptions, experiences and observations. Often time, it is far separated from reality which is where the conscious mind lives. Our culture of drinking makes everything better has been ingrained into our unconscious mind without us ever knowing. One easy way to challenge this, which we often never do, is look for external validity. For example, the bud light makes you a better beach volleyball player. Go to a beach and try to find a real life example if this. It won't happen. We let the unconscious mind determine our thinking because we like certainty. In the conscious mind, there is so much unknown and that is always scary. The unconscious mind is a bubble of safety where we feel comfortable. Why did I find it so hard to quit drinking? Well, I knew I wouldn't have a good time at a social event sober, I knew I wasn't funny, I knew I wouldn't be able to chat with girls. I never stood a chance at quitting drinking unless a pain point was strong enough, aka, the bottom. We can address this by bringing unconscious experiences, observations, assumptions and conclusions, into conscious thought. We do this through knowledge. Before we drank alcohol, we were happy joyous and free, we didn't miss it. The Author Terry Pratchett says, we need to be able to at any time, accept that fact that we all could be absolute and utterly wrong. Don't forget to support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here!

Paul, with 18.5 months of sobriety, shares how he did it. That's right, I'm breaking up with the word alcoholic and opting for a simpler less defining answer of I don't drink. I got the idea for this podcast after reading the following article and I hope you like the show notes. As you can probably tell, I've had some recent help with show notes since mine leave much to still be desired. COUNT ME OUT OF "RECOVERY NATION" - NEGATIVE SELF-IDENTITY IS THE CRUELEST STIGMA (Stanton Peele: July 7th, 2016) The labels "alcoholic", "addicts", and "in recovery" dehumanizes people, both for the person themselves and their children. -Influence contributor, Meghan Ralston, wrote in her article (I'm Breaking Up With the Word Addict), Agree - "Even in a chaotic stage of drug use, we are not "other." We are women, we are someone's daughter, we continue to laugh, we continue to like jazz and cheeseburgers and comfy pajamas. We cry, we get so lonely, we hate sitting in traffic. Addiction can be wretched, no question, but we do not ever stop being human beings, even during the times in our lives when we are dependent on drugs." Disagree - "For many people, myself included, the word "addict" is incredibly harmful and offensive. You do not have my permission to call me an addict. You can of course refer to yourself as an addict, if you wish."[1] Don't refer to yourself as an "addict." -It's depressing -No one should highlight/define themselves by their worst trait or period in their life. These concepts arose in conversation between Dr. Peele and Talk Recovery Radio: "Dr. Stanton Peele was today's thought provoking live guest on Talk Recovery.… our show is meant to be a platform where all pathways to recovery are welcomed to be discussed… But today, that almost didn't happen. There was an 'us and them' feel to the show… Why do people feel the word addict is stigmatizing?"[2] -Peele explains that the host seemed to feel that he was part of a movement that set people recovering apart from everyone else. -Culture seems to encourage this separation. -public policies -celebrities' confessionals -treatment circles -recovery high schools -etc. -Show host ironically wonders why there's a stigma towards addicts while he himself labels himself as one. Peele refuses to label himself by marching with Recovery Nation, a group that lets themselves be lead by their labels. -"Thinking of yourself as an alcoholic causes you to behave the way you think alcoholics behave." -To quote Peele and Ilse Thompson, "You are not your addiction; you are a valuable human being whose qualities endure and exceed your addiction. … It's impossible to expect a person to achieve wellness by focusing on his or her faults and mistakes. Perhaps this is why conventional recovery asserts that people must remain 'in recovery' forever and continue to identify themselves as addicts, no matter how long they are sober."[3] -Today people seem to expect labeling. Peele states, "Imagine a child with a learning difficulty looking at you and saying, 'I am retarded,' or 'I am stupid.' We would cry and hug them and tell them that wasn't true!" -Peele goes on to pose the question of why it is that people always discourage each other from identifying themselves by their problems or illnesses, except when it comes to addiction. -While debating former head of treatment at Hazelden, Peele asked how he short-circuited his family heritage. -While the clinician had a cynically humorous answer, Peele gave his answer for the man to the radio show hosts. The method to preventing his children from taking on addictive traits was to raise them in emotionally and financially stable home, encourage them, provide for them, and allow them to be who they want to be. -What doesn't help children, is to burden them with the "destiny" that they would most likely be an alcoholic. -The "tough love" approach often comes in too late, Peele says. -Before a child can misbehave during drug use, you ought to instill him with morals of responsibility to themselves and others. -Peele is reframing addiction in an opposite direction from the "disease" mindset. He puts it like this: "Addiction is not a consequence of taking drugs and drinking. Rather, it arises from the way in which these and other compelling activities fit into people's lives and meanings." -To end the interview, Peele asked how the show host quit smoking cigarettes. -His response was that his recovery program didn't allow it, but also that it didn't allow him to call himself a cigarette addict. Rather, they insisted on the generic term addict. -He then was able to quit smoking (one of the hardest substance addictions) without patches. This was because it didn't address smoking, or label them as cigarette smokers. FOR COPYRIGHT PURPOSES All content read here has been cited appropriately. The content is based majorly from the article written by Doctor Stanton Peele: Count Me Out of "Recovery Nation" - Negative Self-Identity Is the Cruelest Stigma o

Ronnie, with 25 years of sobriety shares how he did it. We also discuss 50 ways to stay sober this summer. Ronnie Marmo Ronnie got sober a few times throughout his life, once at age 17 and again at age 20. At age 20, he found himself smoking crack on the sidewalk after 3 years of sobriety… One drink of alcohol was his gateway drug. Ronnie's background: Lives in L.A. and works as an actor and director, running two theater companies. Check out 68 Theatre Company. Ronnie is 45 and married with a dear family… For more information on Ronnie and his work - ronniemarmo.com. Take us back to age 20... Was that your bottom? For me, "I was out of control ever since I started drinking. I always drank and got high in the same way. I was never a social drinker, I had no interest in drinking socially." It went something like this - one gallon of vodka, one quart of Yukon Jack, and then I found myself waking up at a sober picnic. My sponsor asked me if I was humble enough… I said yes, and went back to rehab for the 3rd time. What is it like being sober in your industry? It's like anything, many people are sober, once you start talking "our" language. Those who do drink and get high, it's never an issue, but I tend to gravitate towards people who are sober. Let's talk rules: Did you ever try to put rules into place? "I thought alcohol was a problem, but I didn't think it was my biggest problem. I constantly negotiated with myself. Normal people don't hide bottles. Normal people don't wake up needing a drink." People have gone on retreats and think that anxiety is the issue, or depression is the issues, when underneath it is really the alcohol. Literally, every day of my life I spent my day trying to figure out how to get more booze. Do you remember your first intensive rehab? "I hadn't even seen the STEPS on the wall!" Now, I have a healthy fear of booze. Talk to me more about this healthy fear, I'm terrified of this stuff… When I look at it, it's rare that I glorify a drink. When I see booze, I get nervous. If I ever take a second to glorify it. I immediately think I could destroy my life. It happens quickly. That thought is so fleeting, it's not even an option. Bill W. and Dr. Bob: http://theatre68.com/ Playing in north Hollywood, CA Soon to star in the movie, Back in the Day. Walk me through a day in your sobriety: I don't go to as many meetings as I should, but I never miss my Wednesday home meeting. If I do these things daily: Give thanks Reach out to a newcomer Walk with love and grace Attend a meeting If I don't do these things, life is just harder... What are your thoughts on relapse: It's a weird disease because you have to self-diagnose it. It's 2:30 in L.A. right now, if I had a drink right now, I'd be smoking crack by 7:30pm… Relapse doesn't have to happen, but if it does, hopefully you can choose sobriety again quickly. What would you say to your younger Ronnie: "The sooner you can get past being so dependent on the drink or the drug the sooner you can get on with your life, doing what you really want to do." "No matter where you go or what you do, drink a lot of water and walk slow." What's still on your bucketlist: Doing what I love Helping others Shoot a movie in Italy for a summer... All these items are attainable with sobriety. Rapid Fire Round: 1.What was your worst memory from drinking? Stealing my mother's pocket book. 2.Did you ever have an oh-shit moment? I had a spiritual awakening in the courtroom, asking the judge for help. The things that came out of my mouth were nothing that I had intended to say when I walked in. 3.What is your plan for sobriety moving forward? Keep showing up and trying to be graceful, reaching out to others, and trying my best on a daily basis to stay with a formula that works. Keeping it super simple! Favorite resources? Meetings Best advice you've ever received? Drink a lot of water and walk slow What parting piece of guidance can you give? If you are thinking about it (getting sober) and it's on your mind, there's a really good chance that you should be doing it. Give it a really strong 90 days. "You might be an alcoholic if…" You might be an alcoholic if you steal from someone you love just to get a drink or a drug. You might be an alcoholic if after 2 years of sobriety you take a drink and later you end up smoking crack. Connect with Ronnie: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ronnie.marmo Twitter: @Ronniemo22 50 Ways to stay sober this summer Wear sun screen – Lots of sunscreen La Croix Soda water. Drink lots of soda water Enjoy time in a hot tub / spring or sauna Beach trip: The small stream behind your neighbor's house even has a beach Movie Day: The Anonymous People Scroll through your phone contacts and call someone you did wrong in the past. Don't tell them what they did wrong, but what you did wrong Binge watch old TV episodes: Prefably not Mad Men, they drink like fish Yoga / Meditation Create a new sober drink concoction. Watermelon and milk is one I stumbled upo

Barb, with 15 days of sobriety, shares her journey. I got the idea for today's podcast from an article sent to me from a dear friend that was in the Lush. Fitting publication eh? Don't forget to support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here!

Ty, sober since March 2008, shares how she implements service into her life to stay sober. I want to give a huge personal thank you to Ty for helping me with the Recovery Elevator podcast. I can't do any of this alone. Thank you Ty. Also in this episode I interview Jesse from My Sober Roommate. Don't forget to support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here!

Kevin, in remission for 13 years, shares his story and why he created We Face it Together.

Kellie, with 2 years of sobriety, shares how she has been successful in sobriety. Kellie has been part of the Recovery Elevator podcast since the beginning. She was written blog posts, helped line up interviewees and helps with social media. Don't forget to support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here!

Stephen, with 32 years of sobriety, explains how he's made it this far. I often get asked if any of the interviewees on this show have relapsed and the answer is yes. Sure, some of them have relapsed, but how many. When I really got to thinking about this, my optimism wavered and when I dug deeper into the question, I realized it was more than just a few had relapsed; it was a lot. Don't forget to support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here!

Matt, sober since 12/11/15, who is the 4th lawyer to be interviewed on this podcast, shares how leaving a law firm to start a private law practice while drinking, can be tumultuous; to say the least. I got the idea for this podcast from the a article I recently read in the Fix called My Top Five Female Recovery Memoirs by Regina Walker . Statistically, women don't recover from alcoholism at nearly the rate men do. A study in Germany concluded that alcoholism was twice as fatal for women as for men. The women in the German study with alcohol addiction were five times more likely to die during the 14-year period of the study than women in the general population. As a culture, we often judge women with addiction issues far more harshly than we do with men. Alcohol advertising often portrays men drinking as a bonding experience, while portraying women who drink as sexual predators or, at the very least, sexually objectified ("if she is going to get drunk, she is asking for it"). Though it's difficult for anyone with a substance abuse issue to ask for help, it is that much more difficult for a woman, who often bears an additional, gender specific stigma. Turnabout, by Jean Kirkpatrick Smashed: Story of a Drunken Girlhood by Koren Zailckas, Blackout Girl: Growing Up and Drying Out in America by Jennifer Storm Drunk Mom by Jowita Bydlowska Yellow Tale, by Tiffany Goik Don't forget to support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/

Buddy, with 7 years of sobriety, bounced in an out of AA for from 2002-2008 before something finally stuck and ironically, he explains how drinking actually saved his life. Don't forget to support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ I read the following line out of an AA Grapevine, August 2013 issue, while on a tumultuous ride over a high altitude Andean pass in Chile. It didn't help that I was only 2 days sober (relapsed shortly after reading that line and ended up vomiting on myself and the bus) and I thought a relationship would solve my problems. Page 53 in the 12&12: The primary fact that we fail to recognize is our total inability to form a true partnership with another human being.

James with over 2.5 years of sobriety shares how we earned his family's trust back. Being sober has huge advantages at the workplace and this should be marketed as such. Don't isolate yourself and join the discussion in the Recovery Elevator Private Forum. Support the podcast and make your Amazon purchases through the Recovery Elevator affiliate link. 1/2 of all revenues will go to recovery non-profits. This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here!

In this episode Angela, with nearly 10 months of sobriety, shares how she did it. Here are some great movies about alcohol, sobriety, recovery, drunkenness, and getting sober! Thank you to Marueen from Cafe RE who helped put this list together! Burnt (2015) Bradley Cooper 1 hour, 40 minutes Comedy/Drama Synopsis: Adam Jones (Bradley Cooper) is a chef who destroyed his career with drugs and diva behavior. He cleans up and returns to London, determined to redeem himself by spearheading a top restaurant that can gain three Michelin stars. Director: John Wells Writers: Steven Knight (screenplay), Michael Kalesniko (story) Stars: Bradley Cooper, Sienna Miller, Daniel Brühl | See full cast & crew » 2. Smashed (2012) Aaron Paul 1 hour, 21 minutes Drama Synopsis: A married couple whose bond is built on a mutual love of alcohol gets their relationship put to the test when the wife decides to get sober. Director: James Ponsoldt Writers: Susan Burke, James Ponsoldt Stars: Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Aaron Paul, Nick Offerman | See full cast & crew » 3. Everything Must Go (2010) Will Farrell Comedy/Drama Synopsis: When an alcoholic relapses, causing him to lose his wife and his job, he holds a yard sale on his front lawn in an attempt to start over. A new neighbor might be the key to his return to form. Director: Dan Rush Writers: Dan Rush, Raymond Carver (short story "Why Don't You Dance") Stars: Will Ferrell, Rebecca Hall, Christopher Jordan Wallace | See full cast & crew » 4. Shakes The Clown (1991) Bobcat Goldthwait Drama/Comedy/Murder Synopsis: Shakes plods about his duties as party clown, and uses all of his free time getting seriously drunk. Binky, another clown, wins the spot on a local kiddie show, which depresses Shakes even more, and his boss threatens him with unemployment if he can't get his act under control. When someone murders Shakes' boss and makes it look like Shakes did it, he goes undercover, posing as a hated mime, and tries to find information that will clear his name. - Written by Ed Sutton 5. My Name Is Bill W. (1989) James Woods Drama (TV Movie) Synopsis: Based on the true story of Bill W. (James Woods), a successful stock broker whose life falls apart after the stock crash of the 20's and how he comes to grips with his alcoholism. Along with a fellow alcoholic (James Garner) he forms a support group that would eventually become Alcoholics Anonymous. - Written by Humberto Amador 6. Barfly (1987) Mickey Rourke Drama 1 hour, 40 minutes Synopsis: Based on the life of successful poet Charles Bukowski and his exploits in Hollywood during the 60s, 70s, and 80s. Director: Barbet Schroeder Writer: Charles Bukowski Stars: Mickey Rourke, Faye Dunaway, Alice Krige | See full cast & crew » 7. Crazy Heart (2009) Jeff Bridges, Drama/Music/ Romance 1 hour, 52 minutes Synopsis: A faded country music musician is forced to reassess his dysfunctional life during a doomed romance that also inspires him. Director: Scott Cooper Writers: Scott Cooper, Thomas Cobb (novel) Stars: Jeff Bridges, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Colin Farrell | See full cast & crew » 8. Days of Wine And Roses (1962) Jack Lemmon, Lee Remick Drama/ Romance Synopsis: An alcoholic falls in love with and gets married to a young woman, whom he systematically addicts to booze so they can share his "passion" together. Director: Blake Edwards Writer: J.P. Miller (as JP Miller) Stars: Jack Lemmon, Lee Remick, Charles Bickford | See full cast & crew » 9. Drunks (1995) Richard Lewis, Liza Harris Drama Synopsis: At the beginning of a nightly Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, Jim seems particularly troubled. His sponsor encourages him to talk that night, the first time in seven months, so he does - and leaves the meeting right after. As Jim wanders the night, searching for some solace in his old stomping grounds, bars and parks where he bought drugs, the meeting goes on, and we hear the stories of survivors and addicts - some, like Louis, who claim to have wandered in looking for choir practice, who don't call themselves alcoholic, and others, like Joseph, whose drinking almost caused the death of his child - as they talk about their lives at the meeting. - Written by Gary Dickerson 10. Rachel Getting Married (2008) Anne Hathaway Drama 1 hour, 53 minutes Synopsis: A young woman who has been in and out of rehab for the past 10 years returns home for the weekend for her sister's wedding. Director: Jonathan Demme Writer: Jenny Lumet Stars: Anne Hathaway, Rosemarie DeWitt, Debra Winger | See full cast & crew » 11. Unguarded - The Chris Herren Story (2013) Chris Herren Drama Synopsis: Chris Herren was a "can't miss" basketball superstar until drug addiction eventually destroyed his career. With the support of his wife and family, Herren struggles to conquer his demons and reclaim his life. Director: Jonathan Hock Stars: Chris Herren, Rick Pitino, Bill Reynolds |See full cast & crew » 12. 28 Days - Sandra Bullock (2000) Drama/Comedy 1 hour, 43 minutes Synopsis: A big-city newsp

In this episode Rachael, with 2.5 years of sobriety, shares how she did it. I got the idea for today's topic from an article I read by Sarah A Benton called: Why some phase out of college binge drinking and others are alcoholic. It piggy backs perfectly off last weeks episode with Johnny Manziel. Manziel appears not to be growing out of this phase and it's becoming apparent he has a real problem with alcohol. Why do some people simply not "grow out" of this phase? Here are some reasons the article states: • The Surgeon General's 2007 "Call to Action" report indicates that genetics account for 50% of the risk of developing alcoholism, therefore, family history is one of the strongest determinations of who may be alcoholic. In addition, the drinking culture of the individual's family and the role that alcohol plays. • The age that he or she began drinking is another key factor. Specifically, research by the NIAAA indicates that teens who begin drinking before the age of 15 have a 40% greater chance of becoming alcoholic with or without a family history of alcoholism. • Certain work or graduate school environments tend to incorporate alcohol into their social events such as going out after work or class for drinks or drinking while networking (ie, law, business). These cultures may normalize heavy drinking and also breed a "work hard, play hard" mentality that enables alcoholic drinking patterns. • The drinking patterns of the group of friends that he or she lives with or socializes with. Heavy drinkers tend to migrate towards spending time with others who drink like they do and this often allows them to justify and minimize their excessive drinking. • The individual's predispositions toward mental illness (such as depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety) or a trauma history (PTSD) may lead he or she to self-medicate with alcohol. • Impulse-control issues that include thrill-seeking behaviors and a need for immediate gratification. • Certain drinking patterns are "red flags" for alcoholism including: blacking out (ie, memory loss when drinking),inability to have just 1-2 drinks, obsessing about alcohol, rotating their social life around alcohol, drinking daily or frequently, behaving in shameful ways while drunk, always needing to drink excessively before going to a party (ie, "pre-partying") and surrounding themselves with peers who drink heavily. Don't isolate yourself and join the discussion in the Recovery Elevator Private Forum. Support the podcast and make your Amazon purchases through the Recovery Elevator affiliate link. 1/2 of all revenues will go to recovery non-profits. This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here!

Kelly, with 9.5 months sobriety shares how she did it! Johnny Manziel is an alcoholic who isn't having any fun. We has drafted 22nd overall in the 2014 NFL draft and the wheels have been coming off since. The media seem to wonder why he hasn't simply grown out of his crazy party lifestyle and realized his potential a an NFL quarterback. It was refreshing to see an article in written in the Bleacher Report about how Johnny's problem isn't a maturity one, but a clinical one.

Robert, who has been sober for nearly 3.5 years shares how he has made it this far. In this episode we hear from Shawn from the Model Health Show Podcast and he gives us valuable tips on how to get a grip on alcoholism with these tips and tricks. Below are links to some of the items he mentions in the podcast. Rebounder - Mini trampoline for cardio. NASA says this is the most effective form of exercise and detoxification. Moves your lymphatic system and starts to remove the muck that has built up into our systems over years of drinking. Start with no more than 10 minutes. . This helps drop your cortisol levels which will reduce stress throughout the day. Magnesium - Key to the early sobriety. Spirulina - Highest form of protein in the world by weight. Rich in B vitamins Vitamin B2 - Riboflavin (B2) great for depression Vitam B3 - Niacin. Helps capillaries dilate and get blood to your system and help eliminate waste in the body. Vitamin B12 - Great for Energy Multi B Vitamin - A great combination of all the B Vitamins. Green Super Food Blend - Not processed in a laboratory and is great for early recovery. Shawn's Bio: Shawn Stevenson is a bestselling author and creator of The Model Health Show, featured as the #1 Health podcast in the country on iTunes. A graduate of The University of Missouri - St. Louis, Shawn studied business, biology and kinesiology, and went on to be the founder of Advanced Integrative Health Alliance, a company that provides wellness services for individuals and organizations worldwide. Shawn has been featured in Entrepreneur magazine, Men's Health magazine, ESPN, FOX News, and many other media outlets. He is also a frequent keynote speaker for numerous organizations, universities, and conferences - all with outstanding reviews. To learn more about Shawn visit TheModelHealthShow.com Join Team RE on May 21st for the 3rd annual run for recovery at AALRM.org and use promo code Recovery Elevator for a 10% discount. Don't isolate yourself and join the discussion in the Recovery Elevator Private Forum. Come join the ultimate Recovery Elevator meet-up in Peru where we will be volunteering at orphanages with Peruvian Hearts, working with local alcoholics, and why not hike the 38 mile Inca Trail to Machu Picchu while were down there! This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here!

With 91 days of sobriety, Sarah shares how she did it! In this podcast episode I cover an article from Sober Nation covering why Alcohol is such a potent drug. Sarah also shares how she made it to 91 days of sobriety! In this episode I review The Staying Sober Handbook, by Howard P Goodman and I would definitely recommend it for someone who is in recovery or as an informational piece if you want to know more about the disease in general. Don't isolate yourself and join the discussion in the Recovery Elevator Private Forum. Come join the ultimate Recovery Elevator meet-up in Peru where we will be volunteering at orphanages with Peruvian Hearts, working with local alcoholics, and why not hike the 38 mile Inca Trail to Machu Picchu while were down there! This episode was brought to you by Sober Travel and Sober Nation. In this episode I review The Staying Sober Handbook, by Howard P Goodman and I would definitely recommend it for someone who is in recovery or as an informational piece if you want to know more about the disease in general. Don't isolate yourself and join the discussion in the Recovery Elevator Private Forum. Come join the ultimate Recovery Elevator meet-up in Peru where we will be volunteering at orphanages with Peruvian Hearts, working with local alcoholics, and why not hike the 38 mile Inca Trail to Machu Picchu while were down there! This episode was brought to you by Sober Travel and Sober Nation.

Johan, who has been sober since November 15, 2015, shares how he did it. Don't isolate yourself and join the discussion in the Recovery Elevator Private Forum. Come join the ultimate Recovery Elevator meet-up in Peru where we will be volunteering at orphanages with Peruvian Hearts, working with local alcoholics, and why not hike the 38 mile Inca Trail to Machu Picchu while were down there! This episode was brought to you by Sober Travel and Sober Nation.

Molly Shares how she has made it to almost 30 days sober. I also interview my brother who has stuck with me from day one. I expected Mark to understand my pains, struggles and inner thoughts. I even developed unnecessary resentments towards him which he didn't deserve. Don't isolate yourself and join the discussion in the Recovery Elevator Private Forum. Come join the ultimate Recovery Elevator meet-up in Peru where we will be volunteering at orphanages with Peruvian Hearts, working with local alcoholics, and why not hike the 38 mile Inca Trail to Machu Picchu while were down there! This episode was brought to you by Sober Travel and Sober Nation.

Matt from California shares how he has made it over 5 years sober. He went to seek treatment for PTSD and realized he was also an alcoholic. In this episode I discuss the not so smooth transition from a free community to a paid community. Below is is the post I placed in the group trying to clarify the point of the transition. “I woke up this morning and binge listened to the Recovery Elevator podcast, and later that day I went to my very first AA meeting/Told my spouse/reached out for help...” I have received probably 75 of these messages.... Recovery Elevator is not about me, it’s not about the people in this group, it’s about the people who are still struggling.I’ll be the first one to admit, I am flawed. I am far from perfect. I am fully aware I have made several mistakes and (“spoiler alert”) I will make many more mistakes moving forward. I think my biggest mistake thus far is not being able to communicate my vision for Recovery Elevator and why this transition is taking place. Sure it’s about sustainability, and the time commitment is not feasible over time. However, our #1 goal, the mission, the force that continues to find the RE team at the same coffee shop every Friday morning at 7am for almost a year now is to shred the shame. Does that sound familiar? What that means in one word is Stigma.The stigma surrounding this disease is just as lethal if not more potent than alcohol itself. It was this stigma that led me to a failed suicide attempt in the summer of 2014. I hated myself for not being able to drink like a normal person and was ashamed. I was even more upset when the suicide attempt didn’t work. I woke up that morning pissed off and angry. I wasn’t happy to be taking in precious breaths of air with a new outlook on my 2nd chance on life. I was devastated I had to keep on living my life of misery from the disease. Can anyone think of another disease where we let ourselves and loved ones get to the most critical point before treatment or help arrives? Many times, that assistance arrives at a car crash when it’s too late (my friend in 2006) and our friends don’t get a second chance. Why do alcoholic bottoms have to be so low???? The Stigma. A gentlemen, who removed himself from the group (We didn't), brought up some great points last night and I’m very glad he did. Before this message goes any further, I want to remind people that I have stated multiple times that Recovery Elevator is not affiliated with any 12 step or other recovery programs in particular Alcoholics Anonymous. I am just about to complete my own 12 steps and I plan on passing on that “service” with a sponsee when I finish. This person mentions RE is preying on people with monetization goals. It doesn’t any ivy league business degree to make that connection. If I want a fighting chance at battling this stigma, I am going to need resources. This may come as a surprise, but I’m definitely not the first one to prey on alcoholics and here are some examples: Budweiser, Miller, Coors, Pabst, Jose Cuervo, Jack Daniels, Crown Royal, Smirnoff, Boones, Corona, rehab facilities, and many more are also targeting alcoholics. Battling the the stigma with resources will be tough, but shredding the shame with a cash flow of -$200 a month is a near insurmountable task. Think of the monthly fee going to the struggling alcoholic and not Recovery Elevator. Perhaps in 2014, if I saw a Recovery Elevator sponsored Facebook ad instead of a Bud Light Lime ad, I wouldn’t have bolted to a liquor store before they closed at 2:00 AM. A profitable sober travel company? I must be missing something, is there anything wrong with that? When I was 24, I went on what seemed to be a very profitable, packed booze cruise in Cabo, Mexico, and my actions on that boat were probably more shameful than trying create a sustainable operation which provides services to people like myself. I personally would have loved to go on sober adventure travel. Imagine being on an airplane and in the in flight magazine you see an add for a 7 day sober trip through the Grand Canyon. Am I supposed to not create a sober travel company due to traditions Recovery Elevator has never aligned themselves with? In my opinion, I wish the market was already saturated with Sober Travel companies, but unfortunately it’s not. Take a guess anyone why? The stigma. Look at the monthly fee as a fund for a common goal or the passing of the basket. I will not be getting rich off this, but for imaginative purposes, what if I did?? What if I became as rich as Bill Gates and I was open and proud about being an alcoholic. What if I even donated millions of dollars to recovery organizations. Does it really matter if I get rich or not doing this? This is my last post about this transition because my time needs to be spent trying to reach struggling alcoholics and not on people who are making the stigma even more inflammatory. I am going to give you a choice to make the transition at whatever price you would like

In this episode Penni from Australia shares how she made is 6 months sober! Also discussed in the episode the Radio Lab's podcast episode The Fix. Is there really a pill that an cure alcoholism? Believe me, I have searched high and low..... Don't isolate yourself and join the discussion in the Recovery Elevator Private Forum. Come join the ultimate Recovery Elevator meet-up in Peru where we will be volunteering at orphanages with Peruvian Hearts, working with local alcoholics, and why not hike the 38 mile Inca Trail to Machu Picchu while were down there! This episode was brought to you by Sober Travel and Sober Nation.

In this episode Bill, who has been sober October 22nd 2015, shares how to successfully navigate retirement as an alcohol. Also in this episode how exhausting and potentially dangerous it can be while drinking and traveling. That is when the light bulb for sober travel went off about two weeks.

Brandy shares how she has successfully made it to 69 days sober! I also talk about how I mapped out my talk to the largest school audience yet. Footage from this YouTube video to come shortly, but here the video that I made for the freshman and sophomore classes. -if when on vacation, every time you go out to eat with your boyfriend (who does not want you to drink) you make sure he sits in a place with his back to the bar so you can sneak a drink on your way to the bathroom. -Phenina -if you wake up in the hospital and have to ask the nurse to help you look up impound lots after your car was totaled 4 days earlier and you have no recollection of where the accident happened. -Maureen -if you check your bank online to find charges that you don't recognize...after all, you haven't been to that bar in months! You call the bar to contest the charge and then realize that it was your signature on the bill and you had been there in a blackout. -Jill -if you get so desperate for mixers that you use mint tea or similar to mix your vodka, decided it tastes worse somehow, and just start doing shots, alone, on a Tuesday. -Sarje -if your podcast app says you've heard those 15 podcasts, but you don't remember a single one. -Arista Be sure to join the Recovery Elevator Private Accountability Facebook Group. Come join the ultimate Recovery Elevator meet-up in Peru where we will be volunteering at orphanages with Peruvian Hearts, working with local alcoholics, and why not hike the 38 mile Inca Trail to Machu Picchu while were down there!