REAL AF with Andy Frisella

A long time ago I made a decision...I promised myself I would handle a common negative emotion in a positive way. Because I've been able to do that, it has massively impacted my ability to achieve success & happiness. In this episode, I tell you what it is & how handling it well transforms every aspect of your life. It's that important.

There are people in life who have been given opportunities & given every possible advantage & guess what? They still lose. And they are miserable. Then there are those who didn't grow up with a good family & didn't have any of the resources that most people do & had tons of really bad sh*t happen to them...but guess what? In spite of all that, they find a way to WIN. And those people are happy. They are proud of who they are. Which kind of person are you? Be honest. Winner or loser? Miserable or happy?

On Thanksgiving everybody gets in the mood to be grateful. That's good. But the problem is that exercising gratitude is something you should do everyday, because it's essential to success. In this episode, I talk about how I cultivate gratitude. I also explain that while winners recognize that life is hard & that there's bad sh!t in the world, they still believe that being alive is a good thing. They are thankful for life. They believe that there's good in the world worth fighting for...& they fight for it!

Heavy D & Diesel Dave are in the house! The guys from The Diesel Brothers, the hit show on The Discovery Channel, joined us in the studio and we talked about everything from custom builds & skid loaders to building a multi-million-dollar brand & what it takes to win big in business & succeed at everything you do. These guys are seriously good dudes - men of character who also happen to be first-rate entrepreneurs. Listen up & you'll laugh & learn a ton.

Why is that people nowadays think that if we disagree, we have to hate each other? Why do people think that if I share an opinion that is the opposite of yours, that it's somehow a personal attack & offensive? The media & politicians fuel this mentality & it's really killing our ability to get along & be good & decent people to one another. It's got to stop. There's a way to disagree - even strongly - with one another without despising each other. That's what we talk about in today's Sunday Sermon.

Why is it that some people experience terrible, evil things in their lives & they become monsters themselves...while other people go through just the same kind of suffering & sh*t & they are transformed into amazing, good people? I get it. It is hard to take the negatives of life & convert them into positives. It's hard to be wronged & still do the right thing. It's really hard to go through really bad things & become a force for good in the world. But it can be done. You just have to make the choice.

There's really no way I can summarize today's SUNDAY SERMON in a way that will do it justice. We recorded on a day that I was just sick & tired of society & all the crazy bullsh!t that we've all gotten used to experiencing on a day-to-day basis. So we talked about that & national division & common decency & Donald Trump & bad parenting & pursuing your potential & shady preachers & success coaches & God & "happiness is the new rich." It's all in this episode.

We got the four winners of the MFCEO iTunes Review Contest - Carly Damuth, Chris De Brock, Dr. Tom Recher, and Carmella Goslar - & they asked some incredibly practical & thoughtful questions about business & success that are relevant to anybody, at any stage in their journey. From "how service businesses can get their clients to pay them on time" to "how to leverage Amazon without being dependent on it," this is a high quality, high content conversation with a lot of fun, wisdom, & even some vulnerability.

How do you respond to people who are leading or coaching you? The reality is, your response to guidance & instruction is what is going to determine whether you're an average person or an elite achiever. Average people want to tell the coach or leader HOW to lead them. They care about personality, approach, communication style, & all sorts of other things. But elite achievers only care about one thing. In this episode, I tell you what it is.

I love history & when I was in high school, I wrote a paper on World War 2 fighter planes. The undisputed champion of all those fighter planes was the North American P-51 Mustang. In this episode, I use that plane & the brave pilots who flew it to explain how you can double your confidence when it comes to winning big at everything you do in business & in all of life.

People in the motivation & success industry – and people in general – are obsessed about "significance." Doing "significant" things. Living a "significant" life. This sounds noble...and it is. But there's also a dark side to it. The search...the obsession...for significance can be problematic. That's what we talk about & we share some things for you to think about...to make sure your pursuit of significance is noble & authentic & not really some self-centered, egotistical thing.

One of the biggest things I've struggled with over the course of my life is having that little voice inside me that says that everyone else is smarter, more talented, or just plain better at [fill in the blank]. "They have some magic that I don't," the voice says. Now I've learned how to flip the voice on its @ss & use it to drive me. But the reality is, the whole self-doubt & comparison thing can really kill us. In this episode, I share 2 things that help me win that battle. They can help you win it, too.

Every day there are people who don't achieve the goals that they could achieve if they just acted. In almost every case, the reason they didn't act was because THEY TALKED THEMSELVES OUT OF IT. They let the "little loser voice" inside them dictate the terms of their life - who they are & what they can accomplish.But successful people take specific steps to take control of their mental conversation - and their lives. In this episode, I tell you what they do to dominate.

"What if?" is a question I hear people asking all the time...people who are in the middle of their entrepreneurial journey...or people who are in the midst of trying to accomplish a big goal. The reality is, people who constantly ask themselves that question are mentally abusing themselves. They are subjecting themselves to doubt & uncertainty. Successful people, entrepreneurs or otherwise, are different. They ask entirely different questions and operate under a whole different set of expectations.

Jocko Willink is among the best in the world on the subject of leadership & in this episode he joins me to talk about his new book "The Dichotomy of Leadership." We talk about the opposing qualities that leaders need to develop, as well as Jocko's tactics for dealing with lack of confidence, overly inflated egos, & a ton of other situations & challenges a leader will face with any team or business on the planet. This is as thorough an education on leadership as you're going to get...in less than 90 minutes.

Beer. Burt Reynolds. Knowing when to serve others & when to stand up for yourself. What my old bulldog Oscar taught me about life. How Vaughn the Impaler's yellow lab saved his little girl. Not gonna lie...we hit a lot of topics in today's episode, but all of them will make you smile, laugh, and help you become a better person...which is the whole point of the Sunday Sermon.

The so-called "gurus" tell you to set attainable goals, but I don't agree with that. I think you should set huge, unrealistic goals. Because if you fall short of those goals, it's massively disappointing. Those unrealized expectations hurt & that's a good thing, because pain teaches. In fact, pain does more than teach. If we use it, it can drive us to success like nothing else can.

It seems like everyday I get somebody emailing me or messaging me complaining or beating themselves up about something they said or did in the past. Part of me gets that, but most of me doesn't. Complaining about the past is illogical. Beating yourself up about your past is pointless. Instead, you should be using your past to benefit your present & your future. How do the happiest, most satisfied people do that? That's what we talk about in today's Sunday Sermon.

If it's true that everyone has the potential to be successful, why aren't the majority of people successful? It's not a matter of education or intelligence or natural giftedness. It's a matter of the will. Successful people are willing to do something that most people are not. They are willing to look bad...really bad...on their way to getting good at something & becoming someone who is truly great. Unsuccessful people aren't like this. The minute they look or feel stupid...they quit.

People always have lots of questions for me...about business, self-development, or whatever. So we decided to do another Q&A episode. We cover a wide range of topics in this episode, from qualities to look for in a hire & the best "techniques" of sales to how I've leveraged failures & why I'm not crazy about the question "What's your why?" This is super practical stuff, so listen & learn.

I'm finding it common to run into people who think they have found their purpose in life, but are still struggling with dissatisfaction on a daily basis. Restlessness is actually part of what it means to be a human being living in the real world. If you feel empty no matter how much you succeed, listen closely to today's episode. Vaughn, Tyler & myself talk about reasons for restlessness & dissatisfaction & what to do about it. If this is something you struggle with, just know this: YOU'RE NORMAL.

What's the #1 key to success? People want to act like it's mysterious. Gurus who don't know sh!t want to complicate it & make the answer sexier than it really is. The fact is, the secret is simple: DON'T QUIT. The people who succeed in life...the people who advance up the pyramid of success..are people of endurance. They are patient, power through pain after pain, & adjust & adapt & improve themselves...until they reach the top.

Whatever ever happened to common decency? There are things that everybody used to know & do...how to treat one another, how to talk to one another, how to be a good person..that hardly anyone knows & does anymore. That's the bad news. The good news is that if YOU know & do these things, you'll be rare. You'll stand out. Having good manners & being a decent person will help you dominate.

Have you ever hit rock bottom? Are you hitting rock bottom now? I get it. I've been there...in business & in life. Sometimes it's been my fault. Sometimes it hasn't. Well, listen...I can't explain this, but I've experienced it & I can tell you it's true: there's something really good about hitting rock bottom. In this episode, I give you three reasons why & urge you to wake up, rise up again, & dominate.

There's a ton of misinformation & flat-out lies out there about how to live with purpose & passion. The average "guru" on the internet misleads people into thinking they're weird because they struggle with doubt, uncertainty & dissatisfaction. In this episode, I share the real truth about purpose & passion, walking you through questions to ask yourself, expectations to adjust, & practical habits to develop that will help you operate more confidently & intentionally in every area of your life.

What's wrong with the world today? Like you, I get on the internet & social media & think, "WTF?" Like...it literally seems like society has become an insane asylum & the lunatics are running the place. Everybody is angry & resentful at everybody else. Well I heard a great story that provides a two word answer for what's wrong with the world. If we take that answer seriously, we'll all go a long way in fixing society...and our own lives.

Everybody has dreams for their future. But not everybody understands that what you hope to do on a much higher level later, you can begin to do right now. The guy who wants to someday speak to millions can give a talk to his 7 employees today. The girl who wants to perform on stage in Nashville someday can sing at a local country bar this weekend. Bottom line: when it comes to your dreams, if you're not doing what you can do now, you'll never do what you want to do later.

How do you become someone people would die for? In the age of social media, we talk about having "friends." But that term has become cheap. We think that if someone follows our page or likes our post, we're "friends." Not hardly. Real friends are a positive force in your life, energizing, truthful, supportive, and fiercely loyal. We all need real friendships because we can't do life by ourselves or succeed on our own. But if good friendships are what we want, a good friend is what we need to become.

Most people talk about happiness as if it's this mystical, mysterious force that you have no control over. That is 1000 percent false. Like so many other things in this world, happiness is something you have to earn. It is the result of actions you take. In this episode, I drop two practical things you need to DO...two practical things everybody CAN do...to earn the right to be happy.

You can learn a lot about success & entrepreneurship from a veteran of the music industry who has worked with superstars from Lady Gaga to Nelly. My buddy J. Erving is an influential executive, investor, & leader in talent management. He's also an entrepreneur to the core & a guy committed to excellence. In this episode, he shares his story & we riff about everything from establishing credibility & authority in your industry to the leadership skills it takes to manage people who are exceptionally talented.

"Know your worth." That's a phrase I can't stand, because most of the time, people talk about how "worthy" they are when they haven't done anything to justify that claim. But at the other end of the spectrum are people who have a lot to offer, but they don't realize it & take advantage of it. You need to resist the temptation to "discount" yourself in business & life & "price" yourself more fairly & generously. Because if you do bring something worthwhile to the world, you deserve to benefit from that.

I've quoted Lombardi on the podcast before: "chase perfection." Problem is, most people emphasize the second word when the focus is really on the first. Perfection is an impossibility. We're supposed to chase it, not expect it. That's sounds counter-intuitive to a commitment to excellence, but it's not. In fact...perfectionism actually undermines excellence. In this episode, I tell you how & describe a better way of thinking & operating: one that embraces the chaotic process that produces success.

Most people who want to be millionaires don't see the connection between today & someday. Young kids don't think that killing it at their job at Burger King has anything to do with making millions in the future. Adults don't think how they cut their grass or wipe their @ss has anything to do with achieving their "dream life." The people who *actually* become wealthy are different. They recognize the link between now & later & they make every effort & sacrifice RIGHT NOW. They die to live the good life

There are a lot of eyeballs on the internet, 24/7, so if you're an entrepreneur & you're not capturing their attention, you're leaving a lot of income on the table. In spite of the huge opportunity the internet offers, for low-cost marketing & high volume sales, most people don't have any idea how to create ads that really convert. My buddy Billy Gene is an exception to the rule. A huge exception. In this episode, he shares his valuable knowledge & experience to help you transform your social media marketing status from "loser" to lucrative.

There are two main skills you need to make 6 figures or more in life: 1. sales and 2. leadership. In this episode, I focus on the skill of sales, unpack two fundamental practices that will you master it, & I even walk you through an exercise that will help you cultivate ease, comfort, & confidence with anyone & everyone you meet - which is critical to success in sales...& really, life in general. Bottom line: become a monster sales person & your potential for wealth and success is unlimited.

Fifteen years ago today, I was lying face-down on a street in Springfield, Missouri, in a pool of my own blood. Just a few seconds before that, I felt the excruciating pain of getting stabbed multiple times. Bottom line: a dude tried his best to kill me. So...what would you do if that happened to you? There's not a person alive who hasn't been hurt by someone. How you handle your emotions & respond to that hurt will determine the quality of your life & relationships & the things you're able to accomplish.

What's the #1 lie of our society & what would your life look like if you completely rejected it? So many people out there right now are talking about how everybody needs to "love themselves" & keep telling themselves that…"You're beautiful & worthy & good enough." But here's the problem: for those statements to be true, there has to be a change in mindset & a commitment to act & live in a certain way. Bottom line: you aren't entitled to feel good about yourself. You have to earn it.

So you say you're ready to fulfill your own true potential & achieve success & become a millionaire. That's sounds so bad*ss, doesn't it? So sexy. So cool. Why wouldn't everyone want to go all in on something like that? Because...the ACTUAL pursuit of success begins & ends with a principle that is totally unsexy & totally uncool, but utterly indispensable. What is it? Listen & find out.

Everyone associates the internet & social media with the future of business, but the reality is that these things have actually turned back the clock on all of us. Because everyone is connected, the world has become a much smaller place where everybody knows everybody & if you run your business like it's located in Small Town, USA - population: 100 - you'll experience big-time success. In this episode, I tell you exactly how to do that.

How do you get everyone to talk about you & your brand? A lot of people out there are trying hard to convince me to post about their product or snap a photo of me wearing their swag. They are handing out thousands of t-shirts to influencers & others to get a mention on social media. The truth is there's a way to get people to automatically, naturally, enthusiastically promote your brand, your product, your service...YOU. How do you do that? Listen to this episode to find out.

In business & life, people who master the "soft skills" make an impact & make money. Jordan Harbinger is one of the pioneers of podcasting & is an expert in social dynamics. A guy who built a massively successful brand by providing high quality content & generating meaningful conversations on critical issues, Jordan joins me in the studio & we talk about the interpersonal dynamics that translate into big-time influence & income.

"You are who you hang out with." We've heard that time & again, but until you take seriously the essential connection between your social life & your success, you're not going fulfill your potential. Bottom line: who you choose as your close friends matters. What peer group you're a part of affects your mind, your character, the amount of money in your bank account...everything. You need to level up your inner circle & cut out negative influences (even family) & in this episode, I tell you how.

How can you keep yourself from feeling like sh*t? There's one thing you can do - or not do - with your mouth that will not only help you preserve your energy and increase your self-respect, but will improve the overall quality & outlook of your life.

Any person's life, no matter if they are "successful" or not, is going to have ups and downs. If you're an entrepreneur, you can almost guarantee that you're going to go through a regular cycle of feeling good, like you're making progress, but then feeling like sh*t, like you & all your plans are falling apart & doomsday is coming. You need to know this is natural & normal...and the key is to learn a method of powering through these times & executing when your feelings are battling against you.

Why do you so often fall short of getting what you want, even when you go out and work hard? How is it possible that men like Nick Saban & Bill Belichick don't just win games & championships, but have established themselves as titans & gods even among the extremely successful? The answer is simple. It all comes down to standards & expectations.

"Just quit the job you hate & do what you love." We hear that all the time, don't we? But that's terrible advice. Because in order to get the opportunity to do something you love, you're going to have to do something you hate...for a long time. In this episode, I talk about the process that everyone who starts from zero & builds 7,8, & 9-figure enterprises KNOWS you have to go through. And I talk about the motive & mindset that drives the person who, when everyone else has quit, is the last one standing.

There's a question that I think – if you answer it rightly – will get you straight on what you're doing with your business, your brand….even your whole life. If you answer this question correctly, you're going to have a sense of strength and purpose that other people dream about. And you're going to feel good about yourself. So here's the question: is it better to be famous or impactful? That's what I talk through on today's episode. [Visit Andy's website](www.andyfrisella.com)

How do you make every day great? Or even perfect? There are four steps. They involve productivity, learning, gratitude, & enjoying things that money can't buy. When these things form the core of your day, you're day is going to be f*cking awesome, even if there's all sorts of chaos and sh*t going on. That's important for entrepreneurs & overachievers, because as great as building businesses & making money is, the stress & the drive to dominate in everything you do can drive you crazy...if you let it.

Too many people are overly invested in the lives of others. They wonder how much money other people make. They compare their lives and success to what they see posted on Facebook and Instagram. Not only is this unfair to you, it will also destroy your ability to make something valuable out of your own life.

I'm not the most multi-cultural person on the planet, but I did recently learn something about French culture that might actually be better than French fries. It's a concept the French came up with way back in the 1800s...a way of thinking about life & the responsibility we have to LIVE IT. It's the mindset of any person who rises from the ashes, who goes "from rags to riches", and it's why kids born into poor, f*cked up families can still become the most powerful & influential people on the planet.