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Pivot Parenting: Expert Tips for Navigating Teen and Tween Challenges

Pivot Parenting: Expert Tips for Navigating Teen and Tween Challenges

319 episodes — Page 3 of 7

S1 Ep 219219. Parenting the Negative Self-talk and Anxiety of Teens, with Monica Crnogorac

Mental health is on the forefront of most parents brains. Anxiety being a frontrunner. Did you know that negative self-talk plays into anxiety and other mental health struggles? Listen in as Monica and I discuss: 1- What role self-awareness plays in managing anxiety, and how to help teens develop this skill. 2- Common negative self-talk patterns among teens and how these patterns contribute to their anxiety. 3- What strategies are recommended for parents to help their teens become more aware of and challenge their negative self-talk. 4- Positive changes can parents expect to see as teens improve their inner dialogue. 5- Practical tips and strategies parents can engage with to foster a positive and supportive environment at home. To learn more about parenting your teen and to grab a strategy call with me, visit heatherfrazier.com About my guest: Monica is a Certified Life & Wellness Coach who helps teens overcome feelings of overwhelm and anxiety that interfere with their daily life. Whether they're drowning in schoolwork, having difficulty overcoming a break-up or are unsure of their career path, Monica ensures teens receive the support they need to create visionary change. Drawing from her personal journey, she understands the crippling effects of anxiety and the overwhelming challenges it presents. Motivated by her desire to break free from this mindset, she has utilized her educational background and ongoing self-growth journey to acquire a wealth of tools and resources, to support teens in navigating and alleviating the stressors of anxiety. Social Media Links - IG - @__consciouscoach Website - www.consciouscoach.biz Email - [email protected]

Jun 11, 202425 min

S1 Ep 218218. The "Magic Wand" Cure for Parenting Tough Stuff

We all want the instant solution, "magic wand" kind of get-what-I-want-quick resolution. Parents try to come at this in so many directions... perhaps you've tried a few? Coulda, woulda, shoulda: "If I had known", "if I had said that differently", "if they hadn't been dating that person", "if their dad wouldn't have lost his temper... THEN we wouldn't be here." That's the "magic wand" we missed out on perspective. Be everywhere, know everything, do all the things right: This one feels ultra productive, in control, and frenzied! We run around, chasing fires and putting them out, until we realize that we can't be/do/know everything and our pipe dream comes to an abrupt end that leaves us exhausted with very little to show except an angry teen. This is the, after all I've done, I deserve a "magic wand" approach. Bookworm approach: Read books, listen to podcasts, learn, learn, learn and nothing seems to provide the big shift that's so desperately needed. It can feel like so much knowledge is gained but there's not much to show for it, kinda "magic wand". Avoid approach: We blame someone like our spouse, their friends or even our kid. We stay busy, hoping that the issue will take care of itself. We might talk about it, but can't think of any step to take towards resolution. This is the "too confused, burnt out, and busy to deal" kind of "magic wand". We simply hope it will disappear with time. These are only a few examples of ineffective "magic wands" that parents wave around, hoping to feel better, ease the household tension, and help their kid feel happy and respond more favorably to them. If you've tried any, you know that they don't work so well. Listen in to this week's Pivot Parenting episode to learn why they don't work and what to do instead. To grab a free strategy call with me, please visit me at Heatherfrazier.com

Jun 4, 202422 min

S1 Ep 217217. Getting Your Teen Off Their Favorite Screen, Made Simple

One of the most common points of contention parents and teens have: Screens. Video games, phones, vegging out for hours... while chores, school work and people are neglected. Listen in as I explain the simple two step process of prying your teen off their device and back into the real word. Psychologically founded and sure to be "do-able" for all families, my process is one that feels good for everyone and fosters emotional health and love. It's not impossible and it's not too late. To grab 30 minutes of fine-tuning what you learn on this episode, book a free consult. xoxo

May 28, 202432 min

S1 Ep 216216. Don't Drive Your Teen to Rebellion

While I'm not saying parents have complete control over what their teens do (they don't), they DO have influence- and age old psychology does a pretty good job of predicting how the human brain will respond to certain parenting behaviors. Knowing what I teach in this Pivot Parenting episode will better help you understand and utilize proven psychology methods while interacting with your kids to give you the best odds for their behaviors you're hoping for, and the ones you really don't want. You could be self sabotaging and not even know it. To learn more about parenting your teen, visit me at heatherfrazier.com

May 21, 202428 min

S1 Ep 215215. How to Model Identity for Your Teens, with Traci Peterson

When our kids know who they are, independent from accomplishment, others opinions, and other external details, they have more confidence, happiness and success. So how do we help them work this out during the typically hardest 'identity' years they'll have? Listen in as Traci and I go over all the details you need to know! To learn more about parenting your teen, please visit me at heatherfrazier.com About my guest: Traci Peterson is an international speaker, highly sought after trainer, has spoken to over 23,000 people, performed in front of 100,000 in sports audiences. She's been a board-certified family nurse practitioner, founder/CEO of Elevate Wellness & Aesthetics, she's treated over 6,000 female patients, is co-founder of The Butterfly Campaign and the #1 Top Team Builder in 50 Countries with Amare, for outstanding leadership and long-term team retention. Her latest project is BE: A Mother Daughter Movement grounded in connection and protection. She cites that her greatest accomplishment is being a mother to 3 very active children! She prides herself in mastering her roles as a mother, wife and woman of faith and leading by example in all of her leadership roles. With collective medical, wellness, aesthetics and leadership experience of 15+ years, Traci is widely regarded by her male and female peers, patients, clients, entrepreneurs and mom's alike. She helps high-performing women and their daughters conquer self-criticism and comparison through identifying your unique and divine gifts. And finding validation is learning to love yourself and lean on God. She helps people practically, remember who they are so they can confidently raise the next generation of leaders. You can find Traci at: www.tracipeterson.com [email protected] @motherdaughtermovement @tpete

May 14, 202450 min

S1 Ep 214214. Strengthening Your Mom Network, with Jody Moore

The role of mother can be very lonely. We don't want to blab our teen's struggles to our friends, we are pulled in every direction, trying to be there for everyone, all while the list of things to do grows by the day. Why is it important to have friends amidst the chaos and how does one go about fostering meaningful friendships amongst everything else? This is exactly what Jody and I discuss today in Pivot Parenting. Women need each other and this isn't a selfish thing. Listen in as we break it down and Jody gives us the one hack to remember in friendly interactions. To learn more about parenting your teen and order my best seller, How I Fixed My Teen, please visit me at heatherfrazier.com About my guest: After having her first two kids, Jody Moore struggled with work/life balance, embracing motherhood, and liking herself. As an active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints she felt guilty for not loving the role of mother and wife, and turned to life coaching for help. The transformation she experienced not only helped her at work and at home, it strengthened her testimony of Christ leading her to dive into learning the tools of coaching and to leave her position as a corporate leadership coach to launch her own coaching practice. Jody is certified through The Life Coach School and completed Master Coach Certification in 2018. Today, as an LDS Life Coach, Jody has helped tens of thousands of people through her top-rated podcast Better Than Happy as well as her coaching membership program Be Bold. She has 4 children ages 7 – 17 and resides in Spokane, Washington with them, her husband, and their French bulldog Finn, mini cavapoo Milo, and cat Oscar. Website: https://jodymoore.com/masterclass/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jodymoorecoaching/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jodymoorecoaching/

May 7, 202439 min

S1 Ep 213213. Teaching Your Teens About Consent and Self-abandonment with Jennifer Finlayson-Fife PhD

Today I have Jennifer on to talk about all things consent, self- abandonment, teaching healthy sexuality, and advocacy. I get that talking about such topics can feel awkward, intimidating, and confusing as to how to go about it. Stress no more! One of my favorite things Jennifer said was, "if you want someone's approval it puts you at a disadvantage." She was referencing the story of my first kiss, which I tell in my book, How I Fixed My Teen, and how I really wanted him to like me and how I let things go too far in an effort to win his approval... and also because I totally froze. We talk about that as well. You don't want to miss listening in as we spill all the tea in the best of ways. To order the book that we reference, and learn more about parenting your teen, visit me at heatherfrazier.com About Jennifer: I am a relationship and sexuality educator and coach, as well as a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in Illinois with a Ph.D in Counseling Psychology from Boston College. I wrote my dissertation on LDS women and sexuality, and have taught college-level courses on human sexuality. I currently teach online courses and live workshops to individuals and couples seeking to develop their capacity for deeper emotional and sexual intimacy. Additionally, I offer limited private and group coaching services to individuals and couples who have benefitted from my podcasts and courses and are looking for more direct input on improving their lives and relationships. I am a frequent contributor on the subjects of sexuality, relationships, and spirituality to LDS-themed blogs, magazines, and podcasts, including the "Ask a Mormon Sex Therapist" podcast series. My husband and I are the parents of three children and are active members of the LDS church. You can find Jennifer at: finlayson-fife.com

Apr 30, 202442 min

S1 Ep 212212. Being a Confident Parent, with Tony Dufresne

Many parenting issues boil down to one specific struggle: Confidence. Advocating for our kid, standing up to them, following through with consequences, loving unconditionally, having peace, and so many other things all have this common root struggle. Today, Tony and I discuss the details and help you find more confidence and therefore less struggle and more joy. To learn more about parenting and order best seller, How I Fixed My Teen, visit me at heatherfrazier.com About my guest, Tony: So, you may be asking yourself…How did this guy become so interested in Women's Confidence? My path to standing here, in front of you right now, is 100% because of my daughter…my amiga…my best buddy…Rachel. Our story begins when she was about one. That's when Rachel's mom and I parted ways and circumstances led to me being a single dad at the age of 27. Here I was raising a daughter on my own. A daughter…a gender of the human species that I thought I knew about, but in reality, had absolutely no clue! Although I didn't know it at the time, it was the beginning of 'girl's world' bootcamp for this guy and it changed my life. For the better. That epiphany led me to lean into my passion for helping others through therapy and coaching. I went back to grad school at 30 to get my Psych degree. Then my doctorate. In 2011, I opened my own counseling and coaching company, which in turn led to the "She Talks Confidence" podcast, YouTube channel (Tony Dufresne, PhD), and the book (Surrounded by Idiots). My podcast, speaking engagements, and online True Confidence program are labors of love that have come from three decades of success, failure, setbacks, challenges, breakthroughs, and comebacks. Find all things Tony at tonydufresne.com

Apr 23, 202444 min

S1 Ep 211211. Disciplining Your Teen Effectively

There are a few specific key ingredients to effectively correcting and guiding our kids and they may not be what you think they are. Discipline is a necessary part of parenting and greatly influences the trajectory of their self-esteem, confidence, emotional skill level and general life satisfaction. Too little talked about, but a giant portion of parental responsibility, I'm taking the bull by the horns in showing you that discipline is not scary, impossible or even has to be a negative experience. Listen in as I share the "why", "what" and "how" of discipline. To learn more about parenting your teen, please visit me at heatherfrazier.com

Apr 16, 202423 min

S1 Ep 210210. Having a Morning Routine while Parenting, with Ahna Fulmer

Routine is shown to help manage stress and anxiety, help in productivity and make life feel generally better. Enter, a parents morning routine. Helping teens get out the door each day, fitting in time for ourselves while doing all of the other things on the list can feel daunting. In todays Pivot Parenting episode, I chat with morning routine expert, Ahna Fulmer. We discuss all of the things: why it can be helpful, how it can work for everyone, when one should begin a routine and everything in between. To learn more about parenting your teen, and ordering my best seller, How I Fixed my Teen, visit me at heatherfrazier.com About my Ahna Fulmer: am passionate about helping women Rise Well A dual-certified nurse practitioner with 10 years of emergency medicine experience, I want to empower you with practical, data-driven strategies to rise emotionally, mentally, physically, socially, and spiritually well, fulfilling your God-given purpose with more confidence and joy – one imperfect day at a time. Whether you join me in the Early Morning Habit™, a premier virtual program helping busy women rise well with a morning routine that starts each day with God's Word and a workout while offering hope to a child waiting to be adopted into a forever family, on my top-rated health & fitness podcast, imPERFECTly emPOWERed™, or on the blog here at ahnafulmer.com, you will be inspired to embrace imperfection as perfectly beautiful and mistakes as part of your unmistakable uniqueness. Because your story matters and YOU ARE LOVED. Get Ahna's free guide: Busy Woman's Morning Guide

Apr 9, 202440 min

S1 Ep 209209. How to Repair as a Parent

"Time heals all wounds." "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" "Blood is thicker than water." We've all heard antidotal phrases that sound nice but may not feel as good. The truth is, within families we wound each other. Sometimes unknowingly, sometimes with the best of intentions to be helpful, and sometimes out of our own anger and emotions to hurt another. Maybe time alone isn't going to heal what we said. Perhaps our teen doesn't think their painful family ties are thicker than friend ties. Maybe mom's feelings shouldn't be the object of everyones efforts... In todays Pivot Parenting episode I break down the pain caused within family relationships and how we can work to repair them better than ignoring, spending time and money to win favor back, or otherwise manipulating them into forgiveness. The good news is, you don't need to be perfect- never upsetting them or getting it wrong. (Even when it's out of anger and we meant to lash out in the moment.) Listen in as I explain the very simple, one step process of how to effectively repair relationship wounds. To learn more about parenting your teen, or to order my Amazon best selling book, How I Fixed My Teen, please visit me at heatherfrazier.com

Apr 2, 202420 min

S1 Ep 208208. Grief and Loss While Parenting, with Krista St-Germain

It's common that our kid's teen years intersect with loss. The passing of our parents (their grandparents), their peers, pets, and even loss that isn't death- loss of friendships, anticipated futures (like making the team or getting the part) and other hoped for expectations that never become realized. Grief is a hard time for us and our kids. It can feel awkward and we may not know how to approach it or help them, so we often do nothing. There is a better way to help our kids and ourselves through inevitable dark times. Tune in as I talk with grief expert, @lifecoachkrista about grief myths, what is helpful, what isn't, and what is normal for grief as a family. To learm more about parenting your teen and ordering my best selling book, How I Fixed My Teen, please visit me at Heatherfrazier.com About my guest: Krista St-Germain is a Master Certified Life Coach, grief expert, widow, mom and host of The Widowed Mom Podcast. When her husband was killed by a drunk driver in 2016, Krista's life was completely and unexpectedly flipped upside down. After therapy helped her unfurl from the fetal position, Krista discovered Life Coaching, Post Traumatic Growth and learned the tools she needed to move forward and create a future she could get excited about. Now she coaches and teaches other widows so they can love life again, too. Krista's website: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com The Widowed Mom Podcast: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/podcast/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachingwithkrista Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lifecoachkrista/

Mar 26, 202447 min

S1 Ep 207207. Never-in-the-Wrong Teens

When they say... "I know, I know" "Thats not what you said..." "It wasn't because of me, they caused it" "WHY ARE YOU SO MAD! you hate me, I can never do anything right!" There are many ways our teens justify, deny and avoid being wrong. Why? This drives parents crazy and then it just gets worse. Fighting, us refusing to be wrong, nit-picking details, and causing strain on our relationship. But did you know, that when we approach our never-in-the-wrong teen properly, we can foster connection and strengthen our love? Tune-in to find out how. xoxo To learn more about parenting your teen or order my best selling book, How I Fixed My Teen, please visit me at heatherfrazier.com

Mar 19, 202424 min

S1 Ep 206206. Decoding Your Teen, with Ashley Hudson LMFT

It can feel like our teens are a shrouded mystery of hormones and hoodies... until now! Today I have a teen therapist, Ashley Hudson, on Pivot Parenting to discuss how their behavior makes sense and what they mean when they say things like, "I Hate you!", give you the silent treatment, lie, or coddle your feelings. You don't want to miss our informative conversation! To learn more about parenting your teen, please visit me at heatherfrazier.com About my guest: Ashley Hudson is a mother of 3 boys, licensed teen therapist, and parent coach, with over 12 years of experience. Her group private practice, Ashley Hudson Therapy, is based in Orange County, CA, focusing on empowering adolescents and young adults dealing with anxiety, depression, sport performance anxiety, grief, and parent-child relational conflicts. Drawing from her extensive experience working with thousands of teenagers, Ashley loves working with parents of teenagers and helping them reconnect with their teens. Ashley has created online parenting courses: The Connected Parent and Social Media & Your Teen designed to help parents establish open communication and build meaningful connections with their teens. You can follow her on instagram @ashleyhudsontherapy or the links below. https://www.illuminateyourconnection.co/connectedparent https://www.illuminateyourconnection.co/social-media-and-your-teen

Mar 12, 202449 min

S1 Ep 205205. Check-the-Box Parenting

When you're stuck and feel like it's never enough, you try and try, but end up exhausted with little to show for it. When you feel like you're holding on sooo tight but still feel unstable. When everything is so obiviously one thing or another but also nothing will conform to your way of seeing it... You may be getting in your own way of parental happiness with a "check-the-box" parenting approach. Listen in as I describe how and why we have boxes and what to do when they're pretty in theory but causing a huge problem in reality. xoxo To learn more about parenting and order my best selling book, How I Fixed My Teen, please visit me at heatherfrazier.com

Mar 5, 202423 min

S1 Ep 204204. Angry Teens

It's infuriating when our teens yell, swear, rant, take it out on us and their siblings... Having an angry teen is one of the common complaints I hear from parents. Listen to this weeks episode of Pivot Parenting as I break it down: Why this happens and what to do about it. There are better solutions then yelling back, cowering from them, or jumping through hoops trying to avert their wrath and win their favor. xoxo To learn more about parenting your teen and to order my book, How I Fixed My Teen, please visit me at heatherfrazier.com

Feb 27, 202427 min

S1 Ep 203203. Parenting isn't About the Return on Investment

We invest in real-estate, the stock market, cryptocurrency, NFT's and other forms of business.. but what about our kids? Parenting isn't a vending machine, its a charity, and education, and in invitation to evolve. Listen in as I break down some unexpected returns when we think of our kids as something we deserve a return on. To learn more about parenting your teen and order my book, How I Fixed My Teen, please visit me at heatherfrazier.com

Feb 20, 202425 min

S1 Ep 202202. Quality Parenting In Spite of Your Human Brain

Tune in as I highlight 10 common tricks our brains pull on us that sabotage our best parenting. We all do them, but don't worry, once you learn to recognize them you'll never unwittingly fall victim to them again. Knowing whats what is the biggest hurdle to overcome in being your best parenting self. I've got you. xoxo To learn more about parenting your teen, visit me at heatherfrazier.com

Feb 13, 202426 min

S1 Ep 201201. When Being Wrong is Parenting Peace of Mind

Being wrong is bad, right? nope, it's magic. Come with me on a journey of finding peace and freedom in the simple embrace of one basic truth. It will immediately and forever positively effect the way you interact with your children and self. If things aren't shifting and you're about to throw in the towel when it comes to your teens, this could be exactly what's missing. I've got you. xoxo To learn more about parenting your teen, please visit me at Heatherfrazier.com

Feb 6, 202428 min

S1 Ep 200200. Our Parental Nervous System

Feeling triggered? Life and teens have a way of lighting up our nervous systems. Our brains are very complex beautiful helps to life- until they aren't. In today's episode I break down how we can use our brain's instincts to help us rather than leave us in the, post-yelling (or passive aggressive, or totally avoiding them and everyone) slump of shame. If you've ever thought: "why did I just do that? Why couldn't I have responded better, what's going on that I can't be the parent I want to be?!" Then this episode is your key to understanding so that you can feel like you're back in the drivers seat of how you behave, see things, and parent. I've got you. xoxo To learn more about parenting your teen, and check out my book, How I Fixed My Teen, visit me at heatherfrazier.com

Jan 30, 202434 min

S1 Ep 199199. "How Did I NOT Know?!"

All of the things we don't want our teens doing: Drugs, sex, porn, suicidal ideation, cheating, lying, vaping.... there's a common thing parents tend to say. Repeatedly. "How did I NOT know!??" There are specific reasons parents do this and effects this has. Tune in to understand and therefore have more power and peace in your parenting. To learn more about parenting your teen, please visit me at heatherfrazier.com

Jan 23, 202423 min

S1 Ep 198198. "I'm Never Enough for Everyone."

With kids, a spouse, a household to run, work, friends and family, it's easy to feel like there isn't enough of us to go around. We want to be there for our teens, we also have so much going on that we don't want to drop the ball on. We're falling into bed, dead on our feet, not having done it all, feeling defeated. Tune in to todays Pivot Parenting episode as I talk about coaching so many parents on this tired, lonely spot that we all find ourselves in. There's a two step fix to the issue, and I'm here to help you with it. To preorder my book, How I Fixed my Teen, and check out all of my parenting resources, visit me at heatherfrazier.com

Jan 16, 202426 min

S1 Ep 197197. Teenagers and Modesty

Is modesty a key player in your home? Is it what they're wearing? Is it how they act? Are modesty and sexuality linked together? Let's discuss all things teens, modesty, sexuality, appearance, and how to parent through all of it. It can be tricky, as many adults are uncomfortable around these topics, but they're important to help our teens navigate. I never shy away from an awkward discussion, so lets go! To preorder, How I Fixed My Teen, and learn more about parenting your teen, visit me at heatherfrazier.com

Jan 9, 202436 min

S1 Ep 196196. "Helping" Your Teen

Parents like to help. Sometimes it's helpful and sometimes it's not. Want to know what makes the difference? Listen to this weeks episode to find out. It's the deciding factor for if the help will actually help or hinder. To learn more about parenting your teen and to preorder my book, How I Fixed My Teen, visit me at heatherfrazier.com xoxo

Jan 2, 202419 min

S1 Ep 195195. Are You Parenting From Your Values?

We say we want one thing- Love, kindness, quality relationships... But sometimes our behaviors give us away. It's easy to prioritize chores, grades, and obedience above what we think we want. There's an easy explanation as to why we do this. There's also a simple fix. I've got a simple exercise for you that will expose if your parenting actions align with your values. Want to make 2024 your best year? The one where you feel calm, in control and at peace? Let me show you how. Ready to align your values and your parenting? Tune in to this weeks Pivot Parenting episode to learn how. xoxo To preorder my book, How I Fixed my Teen, and learn more about parenting, please visit me at heatherfrazier.com

Dec 26, 202324 min

S1 Ep 194194. When Your Kids don't Like Family Events

We want them there. It won't be the same, plus it's awful to have to tell Grandma that they didn't want to come. But they didn't and now there's contention. Nobody wins in this situation, but it doesn't have to be like this. Today I'll walk you through other options, offer you better understanding around this common phenomenon, and generally help make the holidays a little better when it comes to herding our families everywhere. To preorder my book, How I Fixed my Teen, or learn more about parenting, please visit me at heatherfrazier.com

Dec 19, 202324 min

S1 Ep 193193. Having an Emotional Parenting Budget

We all know that our money has limits, so why do we think we should have limitless emotional strength and spending? Today I want to teach you a new way of looking at budgets. It's got nothing to do with money and everything to do with having reasonable expectations for yourself. Lost your cool? Have no emotional bandwidth by the end of the day? Feeling drained and hating yourself for not being at your best ALL. THE. TIME...? Good news in this episode. I love you, and want to share with you this most powerful secret. If you'd like to preorder my book, How I Fixed my Teen, or learn more about parenting, please visit me at heatherfrazier.com

Dec 12, 202316 min

S1 Ep 192192. Finding Rest in the Storms of Parenting

Family life is wonderful, and that includes times where we want to cry, scream, and throw in the towel. Mental health, physical health, and tough situations can happen to everyone. In Today's episode I'll walk you through the three most common mistakes parents add needless pain and suffering on top of a hard situation. I will also talk you through the only two places you need to be in for maximum relief and progress through whatever rough waters you're navigating. Life can be a challenge. Parenting can be a wild time, and I'm here to help you with all of it. To preorder my book, How I Fixed My Teen, learn more about parenting your teen, or search by topic exactly what you're struggling with, visit me at heatherfrazier.com

Dec 5, 202332 min

S1 Ep 191191. "Fix it" Energy in Parenting

Parent's find out what I do and ask me how to get their teen to: like cleaning their room, turn in homework, help out, be nice, stop lying... they want to know how to fix the problem that is their teen's choices. I get it. I was that parent several years ago. When we see our teen's as something to be fixed, we parent in a very specific way, and it's not so helpful. Tune in to learn more and how to help your teen in a more powerful way. To preorder my book, How I Fixed My Teen and learn more about parenting, please visit me at Heatherfrazier.com

Nov 28, 202322 min

S1 Ep 190190. How to be a Calm Mom over the Holidays, with special guest, Kristen Mattison

The holidays are wonderful and also we're so glad when the busy, chaotic hum is over. But what if we could enjoy them at a more measured pace so that we didn't have to take that exhausted sigh of relief when they're over? It's possible, and Kristen is here to tell us exactly how! If you're feeling the holiday overwhelm, this episode is for you. No more snipping at the kids because they don't want to play along. No more forcing family traditions that you think you should keep. Let's create the perfect family holiday season together. To check out Family Connection Design Course (discount code: 100off valid until 12/1/23) and preorder my book, How I Fixed My Teen, visit me at heatherfrazier.com About my guest: Kristen Mattison is founder of the blog This Routine Life. Kristen is passionate about spreading the word that motherhood doesn't have to feel so hard and daunting, and it IS possible to enjoy the years with your kids without feeling overwhelmed and like you're always behind. When she's avoiding her To-Do list, you'll find her watching Bravo TV, reading, or working on her latest cross-stitch project. She has her master's in counseling and is a Certified Life Coach through The Life Coach School. You can find her at thisroutinelife.com

Nov 21, 202333 min

S1 Ep 189189. How I Fixed My Teen

A special surprise for you, today! I'm writing a book, How I FIxed My Teen, and this is the trailer! I'm so excited to introduce you to my baby that I've been working on this past year. We're set to publish in early 2024 and you'll want to preorder. Visit me at heatherfrazier.com to get on the list. I'll be mailing out signed copies from my website, and even giving you a book club deal if you get +8 books. Also, if you're in the area, or I'm in yours, I'd love to come to your book club! All the details are at heatherfrazier.com so I'll see you there. xoxo

Nov 14, 202314 min

S1 Ep 188188. What You're Actually Missing in Parenting

Is it a sneaky hack like, the magic words that get them to like chores? Could it be how to never be ruffled by their harsh words? Perhaps we're missing the key to understanding teen behavior? What if it's a secret consequence that they actually respond favorably to? A way of saying it that they don't get mad at? So many confused, exhausted parents ask me what they're missing, why it's so exhausting, and how they can get their teen to: turn homework in, get up on time, stop lying, start liking family time, stop yelling and swearing at them, help out without the drama, and everything else... Well- Here's the magic episode that helps you see it all more clearly- after all, seeing is believing, right? To learn more about parenting, and check out Family Connection Design Course, visit me at heatherfrazier.com

Nov 7, 202319 min

S1 Ep 187187. How Marriage and Parenting Interact, with special guest, Aimée Gianni

In today's episode I speak with marriage expert, Aimée Gianni. We discuss how to be on the same side of the table with your partner on several pointed struggles parents often face: - how to see eye to eye when you disagree on phone/video game/curfew/dating rules -how to 'fight' in front of your kids (show them healthy ways of disagreeing) -how to be a unified force in your parenting when you don't agree -how to deal with a spouse who doesn't support your rules, goes around your consequences, undermining behaviors It all boils down to one simple truth, and it may surprise you... To learn more about parenting your teen, please visit me at heatherfrazier.com To join my 2 week, Stop Arguing with Your Teen challenge, click HERE About my guest: Aimée Gianni, MS, is a Marriage & Family Therapist and a Master Coach Instructor specializing in Love Relationships. She teaches her clients The Art of Intimate Connection and helps them create strong, loving, joyful relationships and meaningful lives that they love, full of authenticity, connection, passion, fulfillment, and physical well-being. It's her favorite thing to do! As a Master Coach Instructor she trains relationship coaches how to do this important work with their clients. You can learn more about her work at AimeeGianni.com and follow her on Instagram @aimeegiannims To sign up for Aimée's love notes, click HERE

Oct 31, 202333 min

S1 Ep 186186. Telling the Parenting Truth

"And the truth shall set you free..." It's applicable to parenting as well. I've got two formulas that teach us how truth in parenting is the best way forward to where we want to be. Having a poker face for your family isn't the best approach if you want a close relationship. Vulnerability + Truth = Intimacy/connection Knowledge + Skilled application = Wisdom I'm going to walk you through 4 points to help you navigate exactly how honesty will guide you to be the best, most loving parent possible. To join my two week challenge, How to Stop Arguing With Your Teen, click HERE. To learn more about parenting your teen, please visit me at heatherfrazier.com

Oct 24, 202322 min

S1 Ep 185185. Parental Burnout

"I'm over it." "I give up!" "I have no idea what I'm doing, so I make it worse." "I can't keep doing this." "They're killing me." "I'm just avoiding them until they move out." "I just want to run away/disappear/hide all day..." Its burnout, and there's a logical explanation and fix for it. Raising kids is so wonderful and terrible and the best opportunity to grow ourselves. And sometimes we're ready for it to be over. Listen in as I shed some light on what's going on. You're not alone and it's not a lost cause. Things can get better... and before they move out. To learn more about parenting, please visit me at heatherfrazier.com

Oct 17, 202327 min

S1 Ep 184184. Maintaining Both Individual & Family EQ

We've heard words like enmeshment or codependency within a peer to peer relationship, but did you know that they can also be at play with us and our teens? It messes with us when they don't want to play along with our ideas of what the family should be like, or how they should lead their lives. When we misattribute who's responsible for creating our feelings and who needs to change before they can be resolved, what can already be difficulties get 10x bigger. Add fuel to the fire, no more! In today's episode I talk about a couple of key ways to be a cohesive, interdependent family. One that's emotionally intelligent. So that you can deescalate situations with love, rather than melting down. xoxo Here's the course I mention, Family Connection Design Course, in this episode. To learn more about parenting your teen, visit me at Heatherfrazier.comhttps://heatherfrazier.com/

Oct 10, 202328 min

S1 Ep 183183. Being a "Perfect" Parent, with Special Guest, Monica Packer

"You can have it all", we're told, as if it were the best prize ever. So we shoot for it and try to hold all the balls in the air and beat ourselves up when we discover that it's hard to live up to society's standards. Today, Monica and I talk about perfectionism in our parenting, how it affects our kids, how to identify unhealthy tendencies in our kids, and when they point out our mistakes. (Sometimes in very harsh ways). Our approach to such struggles makes all the difference in our level of parenting happiness, and today's episode will help you pivot where you may not have even seen needs. xoxo To learn more about parenting your teen, visit me at heatherfrazier.com About my guest: My name is Monica Packer. I'm a recovering perfectionist, podcaster, and Progress Coach. I save women from themselves, by helping them ditch perfectionism, step into their gifts, and move towards real progress. Welcome to a community who knows life is about progress, not perfection! To get Monica's free value exercise, click HERE You can also find Monica at her website and instagram @aboutprogress

Oct 3, 202351 min

S1 Ep 182182. Parenting Your Teen Without Loving It

Okay, in today's episode I keep it real with the fact that sometimes we just want to be on vaca, far from everyone... including our kids. (Ohh! I said it. And without feeling any mom guilt or shame, to boot.) We all have human monents, and I'm here to normalize that fact. So sit back, push play, and prepare to feel better about not loving parenting your kids every second of every day- no guilt attached. It's possible, and even ideal, as the end result is being a better parent. To get my 4 simple strategies on how to negotiate phone rules, curfews, chores, cars, etc.. with your teen, click HERE. To learn more about parenting your teen, visit me at heatherfrazier.com

Sep 26, 202323 min

S1 Ep 181181. When it's Your Teen Causing Trouble

Lying, vaping, cussing, fighting, and being obnoxious in class. Parents get a call or email from their teens' teachers and the shame sets in. Gossiping, bullying, and causing neighborhood backlash and you want to hide under a rock. Our teens do stuff that we don't appreciate and we try everything to get them to knock it off. Yet they persist. Good news, your kid isn't bad and you aren't a terrible parent. Listen in as I teach you what to focus on that will make the difference, break down the three reasons why our kids do the things they do, and the best perspective to love and teach them. If your kid is the one causing the problems, I love you and this episode is for you. xoxo To learn more about parenting your teen, visit me at heatherfrazier.com

Sep 19, 202322 min

S1 Ep 180180. 10 Things to Avoid When Parenting Your Teen

Having heard it all- a few times over, there are repeat parenting offenders that never end well when you're trying to parent your teens. Listen in as I outline ten of the most popular such as contempt, control, and power struggles. Also, these ten common pain points often come up when trying to negotiate things like phone rules, curfews, dating, and other points which parents and teens need some kind of understanding... and so I've got the perfect cheat sheet to easily navigate these rough waters. You can get the PDF here. To learn more about parenting your teen, please visit me at heatherfrazier.com

Sep 12, 202341 min

S1 Ep 179179. The Courage to See what IS in Your Parenting

Do you have a hard time knowing what is true? You're not alone. We tend to not want to see what IS, our brains spin tails about future truths, and others project thier judgments on us like truths. All the while, we parents are trying to love and teach our kids the best we can. With so much confusion, it's easy to not know which end is up when it comes to truth, even when we are interenested in knowing what it is. Listen in as I teach about the two kinds of truths, how to use truth to benefit your parenting, and why knowing the difference matters. xoxo To learn how to better negotiate with your teen, click here for a free PDF on 4 practical strategies. To learn more about parenting your teen, come visit me at heatherfrazier.com

Sep 5, 202331 min

S1 Ep 178178. Being a Selfish Parent

What do you think about being selfish? In todays episode, I outline the two ways we can be a selfish parent and where each one leads. I also outline five key pieces of how "selfish" plays out in ideal parenting. Don't worry, you're not going to feel bad about about the time you spend sitting in your car or needing a break every once in awhile- I've got a fresh persepective for you that will help your good parenting be easier to sustain and understanding that will foster emotional maturity in all directions. xoxo To learn more about parenting your teen, please visit me at heatherfrazier.com

Aug 29, 202342 min

S1 Ep 177177. Protecting Your Teen with Your Silence

"shhhhh. Don't talk aobut what is difficult for your family right now." (Except that this is my favorite thing to talk about.) Far too many parents believe the misconception that it's a bad thing to show your struggles. We've been handed down the unhelpful tradition of silence through our family or culture. While updating social media on your teen vaping may not be the answer, neither is keeping all your struggles to yourself. Our parenting pain needs to see the light of day to heal. This means getting the proper help, love and support in safe circles. So why do so many parents think it's an act of betrayal or weakness to so? Listen in as I outline the two most common reasons. xoxo To learn more about parenting your teen, please visit me at heatherfrazier.com

Aug 22, 202326 min

S1 Ep 176176. Helping Your Teen Navigate Anxiety, with Special Guest, Jill Freestone

Anxiety is currently a buzzword, and for good reason. It wreaks havoc for our kids, thus for us as their parents. We often experience it as well. It's easy to feel helpless against the crush of anxiety, but that doesn't have to be the case any longer. In todays episode of Pivot Parenting, I talk with the anxiety coaching expert, Jill Freestone We talk about the kinds of anxiety, how they present, how we can help our kids through it and every other question on anxiety that you've been worrying about. You don't have to watch your teen reeling while you sit helpless any longer. xoxo To learn more about parenting your teen, please visit me at heatherfrazier.com About my guest: As a life coach, Jill Freestone focuses on helping teens and adults handle anxiety and big emotions. Jill has additional training in anxiety, emotions, relationships, mindfulness, meditation, trauma, somatic processing and much more. She loves her work, but her happy place is in the outdoors. She is an avid hiker, biker, and outdoor adventurer. She is the mother of three amazing daughters and wife to an incredibly smart and handsome husband, whom she adores especially because he was willing to write this bio. You can find Jill here: Website: https://jillfreestone.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jillfreestonecoaching/ 5 Lies of Anxiety PDF to help you stop suffering from Anxiety: https://jillfreestone.com/anxiety-five-lies/ podcasts: https://jillfreestone.com/podcasts/

Aug 15, 202349 min

S1 Ep 175175. Letting Go of Your Teen

In today's episode, I outline three ways that parents self sabotage by not letting go. Perfectionism and expectations are key players, and can sneak up on us in unexpected ways. How do you know if you're holding on? I will run you through a series of questions to help you self confront, and I even teach you want you DO want to hold onto. To learn more about parenting your teen, check out Family Connection Design Course, and sign up for my email list to be the first to order my upcoming books, visit me at heatherfrazier.com

Aug 8, 202336 min

S1 Ep 174174. Teens, Sex, Shame, and Porn, with Special Guest Sara Brewer

It can be an uncomfortable conversation with our teens- sex, porn, and the shame that purity culture creates around them. Sara and I discuss the finer points of how to approach our own discomfort and talk to our kids about what is inevitably part of the world we live in. Sara shares misconceptions around porn use, and teaches us the number one best way to porn proof your teen. It's definitely not what you might think. This is a not-to-be-missed episode! To learn more about parenting your teen, please visit me at heatherfrazier.com About my guest: Sara Brewer is a certified life and trauma informed coach. She has helped hunderds of peple quit porn through her coaching programs and helped thousands of people through her podcast. You can find her at sarabrewer.com and follow her on Instagram @sarabrewercoaching

Aug 1, 202341 min

S1 Ep 173173. "I can't control my kid!"

The fourth and final episode of coaching Bill and Anne. Today we talk about teens doing as the please and what happens when one makes the lack of controlling them mean that they're a bad parent. Bill has an imposibble time getting their son to stop annoying everyone in the car. He eventually gets close enough to home to make him walk. What happened, and what could have happened? It's easy to react poorly right back at them and then beat yourself up, but there is a better way. Listen in as we discuss the nuance of wanting to control your teen. To learn more about parenting your teen, please visit me at heatherfrazier.com

Jul 25, 202342 min

S1 Ep 172172. "...I'm not parenting my teen right"

Part three of Bill and Anne. Today we discuss their thirteen year olds' poor self-talk. He thinks he's the worst and Bill and Anne feel terrible. We discuss their reactions, ways they can help him, and how they are unintentionally creating more of what they don't want. We also discuss the struggle of other kids wanting to parent their siblings, how Anne is affected by this, and how she is buying into the lie that she isn't doing it right. It doesn't play out well for her, but fortunately she sees it and is empowered to move past the lie. To learn more about parenting your teen, please visit me at heatherfrazier.com

Jul 17, 202340 min

S1 Ep 171171. "What's the big deal?!"

Parents can mimic their teens without even realizing it. I coach Anne and Bill for a second time as we discuss how their son disgusts and annoys them with his rude behavior and self importance. They want him to start seeing things like they do. They want him to make progress, which is creating the exact opposite experience than they want. Getting stuck on what he's doing wrong is leading them to similar behavior that they don't even see until today. Maybe you're invalidating yourself like they are? Come listen and find out. To learn more about parenting your teen, visit me at heatherfrazier.com

Jul 11, 202346 min

S1 Ep 170170. "...wait, I don't have to like my teen?!"

Todays episode is the beginning of a series. You will meet Bill and Anne. Their exuberant son, Gilbert, is too much for the whole family to handle and they struggle to see eye to eye on how to help him best while keeping their cool and managing the other children's frustration towards him. Parenting your teen can be a stress to the marriage, but it doesnt have to be. Both Bill and Anne want the same thing- to feel good and successful and to help their son feel the same. Listen in as I show them how they can both solve for the frustration that is daily. To learn more about parenting your teen, please visit me at heatherfrazier.com

Jul 4, 202344 min