Pivot Parenting: Expert Tips for Navigating Teen and Tween Challenges

Despite the fact that nobody likes pain, it's one of my most popular talking points in sessions, the subject of my most liked and shared posts, and responded to email subjects. Per a very special client's direct request, I present to you an episode all about pain. Pain has many facets. When we understand them, we can better control our emotional pain. This doesn't mean that we will never be in pain again, but rather we can recognize when it's healing and when we are suffering needlessly. From this point, we can make conscious decisions about how to best help ourselves and our children. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

We think we know how they feel because we know how we would feel. We think we know what they'd do, because we know what we'd do. We think we know our kids next best move, because we know what our next best move would be in their situation. But the truth is, humans aren't great at mind reading and when we make assumptions it's not always helpful... so listen in, and let's talk about how we project onto our kids. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

Having been the traditional stay at home mom for two decades, I know that being a mom is a full time job... and then I started my own business while going back to college part time. Next level stuff! If you can relate or want to understand, come and listen in as Aubin and I chat about all things working mom. About my guest: Aubin Palmer a life coach specifically for working mothers! She is passionate about helping women be amazing mothers and have the successful career they desire, too. She loves to help you be your authentic self in both, balancing your time for your individual schedule, and to know how to connect with your kids and family so the mom guilt can be gone for good. She has two little girls of her own and a third girl on the way. She worked for 8 years as a nurse before becoming a life coach and has experienced being a working mom both on the corporate level and entrepreneur side as well. She is certified at The Life Coach School. She offers 1:1 coaching and group programs. Contact her at website www.aubinpalmercoaching.com or on Instagram @aubinpalmercoaching

Of all the contradictions out there, the ones that make us the most crazy are the ones that are in our heads. Keeping our kids safe, but letting them learn. Loving them and disliking their choices. In this episode we deep dive into how this can not only be possible, but also amazing. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

It happens to the best of us. Mother-in-law makes a comment about our teen's attitude, husband doesn't like it when the house is a mess, bestie tells us why we're wrong... and then our brains begin to spin out of control. In this episode I will break down the mystery around this phenomenon and teach you how to let go of what others think. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

When life throws us a curveball, it can knock us off our feet. In this episode, Jeanette and I talk about her cancer diagnosis and how she navigated not only her thoughts and feelings, but was also a mother, publisher, and wife. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com About my guest: Jeanette Bennett is a magazine publisher, entrepreneur, community activist, mother and cancer survivor. Jeanette founded Utah Valley Magazine in 2000 and has added other magazine titles since then, including BusinessQ Magazine and Utah Valley Bride. Jeanette was named a Top Woman Entrepreneur in Media in 2018, alongside Martha Stewart who won the Lifetime Achievement Award. Jeanette has a master's and bachelor's degree in journalism and an Honorary Doctorate in Business. Jeanette is on the Board of Trustees for Utah Valley University and is the chair of Utah Philanthropy Day. Jeanette is a mother to five, mother-in-law to two, and a wife to one. She has fought thyroid cancer and is an ongoing patient at Huntsman Cancer Institute. She loves long walks and short lines at Swig. You can learn more at utahvalley360.com

The term "cookie-cutter" exists because our brains notice patterns and similarities. We like this, it comforts us with predictability. But what happens when our child doesn't "fit" the norm? In this episode, Minda and I have an honest and eye opening conversation about this very thing. Minda is stepping into the unknown and parenting radically. About my guest: Minda spent her entire twenties and thirties trying to change people, but in the end she realized she was miserable and needed a nap. That's when she witnessed the magic of hiring a life coach. Someone who could help her recognize her blind spots, as well as help her reshape every relationship in her life. As a relationship expert, Minda loves to teach women how to transform their toughest relationships with the females they're related to. To learn more, please visit minda at www.allinlifecoach.com

By request, here are some practical tips and tricks for all of the back to school feels. I love you, my listener, and am so excited to support you and your teens going into the next school year. xoxo To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

So much fun to chat with Joey all about launching our kids out into the great wide open. Come check it out. You can find Joey on instagram @joey_firmlyfoundedcoaching To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

We humans like to tell other people (like or kids, spouse, friends) that they make us feel all the feels- love, acceptance, shame, fear, overwhelm.... But this line of thinking is false and even destructive at times. In this episode I'll explain all of the nuance around emotional blame. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

Sometimes talking to them can seem like talking to a brick wall... but what is really going on? To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

Ah, that special feeling when your brain tells you that you bombed because of something you did or didn't do. Enter, mom guilt. In this episode, Lisa and I break down what mom guilt is, common reasons we experience it, and how to overcome it. If you've ever felt like a failure as a parent, this one's for you. About my guest: Hi, I am Lisa Richards. I have been an esthetician for over 20 years. I believe good skincare is for everybody. I started SkinBoss in 2016, working out of a salon in Orem, Utah. In November 2019, I opened the SkinBoss Skin Spa in Provo, Utah. My husband and I have four children ranging in ages from 7 to 17. Needless to say, every day brings a range of emotions, both from kids AND parents. In my spare time, I like to read, shop online and get away from it all in nature… or a hotel pool. You can find me at www.SkinBoss.care To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

We've all felt it, it's no better when watch our kids experience it. let's discuss. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

With possibly multiple children and many responsibilities, we may often feel like we are running from fire to fire, putting them out as quickly as possible. This can be exhausting. As parents, we might feel that this is our job... let's take a closer look at what this creates for us, and if that is actually what we want to do. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

As our children grow, we get a new set of choices to make, and with some decisions, we just get to watch: Where to consider attending college, what their curfew should be, who they're dating, jobs, sports, friends, what age is appropriate for phones, the list goes on and on... It's on a whole new level from when they were little. In this episode I break down the art of decision making so that you can more clearly navigate what is yours to decide and help your teen navigate what is for them to decide. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

Words and thoughts shift meaning through our definitions of them. Often times we subconsciously define them to our own detriment. In this episode I will go over some common sources of pain and how to redefine what isn't working in our parenting. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

Our attitudes towards physical beauty, sex appeal, modesty, and how we both unconsciously and consciously teach our kids about it is the discussion in this episode. So much wisdom is discovered in our conversation- you don't want to miss this one! About my guest: Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is a relationship and sexuality educator and coach, as well as a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in Illinois with a PhD in Counseling Psychology from Boston College. To learn more, please visit www.finlayson-fife.com To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

In this episode, Tina and I have an honest conversation about when our children grow up and it doesn't play out how we thought it would. If you are struggling to accept the life your young adult children are living, this one's for you. About Tina: Tina Gosney is an active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She specializes in coaching LDS parents who have a child that has left the church or a child that is LGBTQ. She has experienced both these circumstances in her own family, with a daughter who has left the church, and a gay son who married another man. As a certified coach through The Life Coach School, Tina has been able to help countless parents navigate and thrive in their relationships with their children and spouse as they adapt to a new normal. You can find Tina at Tinagosney.com

While working with my clients, disrespect and teens often go hand in hand. But focusing on what we think of their actions is not helpful. In this episode, I go over all the nitty gritty of disrespect, and It's not what you think it is. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

You know that nagging voice in the back of your head...? The one that leaves you feeling like a terrible parent? In this episode I will highlight some common beliefs that you're probably buying into that only cause pain. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

Someone asks you about your child, your parenting, your home... What are the first thoughts that come to mind? How do you paint the picture of your life to yourself and others? Let's chat about what we choose to focus on, what that creates for us, and if we want to keep that point of view. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

As a mother, we often want to give everything we have to our child- leaves, branches, all. In this episode I look at parenting from this paradigm and how it plays out for the family. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

Ever walk away from a conversation with your teen, scratching your head and wondering how that went so wrong? In this episode, I go over some of the most common mistakes we make when we talk with our kids. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

Meet Mark, my bookkeeper, coach, and friend. I love my conversations with Mark because of his fresh perspective and ability to think outside of the box. In this episode we will chat about all things money, teens, and college. To learn more about Mark's money philosophy, you can find him at moneyschool.works To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

Loss, grief, pain, and sadness are unavoidable as a human. When life does it's thing and we find ourselves mourning what was or what we wanted it to be, we don't usually want to be super upbeat and happy about it... and that's okay. My teens, my clients teens, and pretty much all teens, will cause parents to mourn. whether that's from decision making, illness, accident, or the impact of another's actions towards them. Let's talk about the process of mourning. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

When we make our teen's words and actions mean something about us, we suffer. Not only do we suffer, but then we parent from that unhappy place and that doesn't usually turn out so well for anyone.... Want help getting off of the hamster wheel of pain? In this episode I mix it up by guesting on another podcast. It was so much fun to talk to Nate and I think you'll love it, too. Nate Web is a speaker and professional school counselor who specializes in bullying and resiliency. From his own experiences being bullied as a kid, and from his studies as a professional school counselor, Nate founded Bullies Be Gone, a media platform to help empower kids to get over bullies, get off social media, and to love their lives. Nate is PASSIONATE about helping kids see their worth, and speaks all around to help save the kids. To learn more about Nate, you can visit him at Bulliebgone.com or on Instagram @bulliesbe.gone To learn more about working with me, please visit me at heatherfrazier.com

We all know that you can "be in the red" with money, but did you know that we all have emotional bank accounts, too? In this episode I will talk about how to know when you're parenting in the "red", and how to become net positive when that's the case. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

You don't want to be happy that they're vaping (or insert anything that isn't what you'd call a "great choice"), and I get that... But you also don't need to be in a severe place of emotional suffering. Enter, peace. In this episode I teach you a four step process to access peace while in the storm. I've got you. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

You don't like where you're at, and you've caught the vision of where you could be... You see how much better things would be when you're parenting from 'that' place, but how do you get there? This is a common occurrence with parents as they learn information but are unsure of how that looks to implement and change old habits and old thoughts. I am here to help. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

Socially, we are taught to believe certain things about parenting. Some of these things are helpful, others are not. In this episode I will expose a few of the unhelpful, yet subconsciously agreed upon lies that we all buy into. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

Humans naturally look for enemies. When parenting, this isn't the most helpful approach. In this episode I will give you practical tips and tricks to overcome this habit and grow closer to your teen. Go teamwork! To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

Hard things are a catalyst. They are unavoidable and a key player in creating both our home and our ideal self. How can we teach our kids to overcome challenges and come off as victor? Let's break it down. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

Your teen makes a comment... and the hair on your neck stands up... You can feel the fight coming. What does this mean? Why do we do this? Why do we pick fights when that's not what we'd wanted? I go over all the fine details in this episode. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

I'm feeling kinda feisty right now, and so in this episode I will be sharing some of the things that society generally agrees upon and why I disagree. And guess what, it's okay if you disagree with me about disagreeing, I will still love you. xoxo To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

"I'm so stupid! I know better than that!" We've all thought something similar, yeah? Beating ourselves up for making a human mistake seems like it would prevent future mishap, but is that true? And what is the cost? In this episode I breakdown why we paint ourselves as the troll and the effect that this can have on ourselves and our kids. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

If you put dough into a pasta maker, you get noodles on the other side. Plant a tomato seed, and you can expect to harvest tomatoes. When parents apply the principle of "input = output" to their kids, like thinking that if we teach our kids to be honest and then expect them to always be honest, disappointment is never far behind. In this episode I cameo a few of my client's situations to show you how this line of thinking is not helpful, and I'll give you practical tools to drop the unnecessary suffering. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

Substance abuse is a topic that affects many families. In this episode I will talk with Claire about her story of addiction and recovery, what to do when you discover substance abuse in your home, common misconceptions around this topic, and what teens wish their parents knew. About my Guest: Claire is an addiction specialist with a B.S. in psychology and has spent years working within family systems dealing with addiction. She can be found at clarityintervention.com or on instagram as Clarity Intervention. Direct contact can be made through [email protected] or (801)735-5755

As parents, one could easily assume that we have a part time job as worry warts. From stressing that they have never had a first date, to being worried that they go out too much, and then what about the friends that they are with?!? Are they learning everything that they need to before they move out, and will they actually ever move out? Will I survive without them? As they get closer to launching the fear tends to increase. In this episode I will address why this happens and how you can stop spinning out in confusion, fear, and overwhelm. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

If you feel like you're in constant opposition to your child, this episode is for you. I'll teach you how to play on the same team so that it's a win for everyone. Amazing. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

Let's be honest.... Have you ever felt relief when they aren't in the room? Family vacations couldn't end soon enough? You feel super guilty when you run out of the house for an "errand" just to escape them? I have done all of these things and then some. In this episode I'll explain this phenomenon and the reasons for it. Once you know, the guilt can drop away and you can begin to find love for yourself and them once more. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

Different kinds of questions will yield different kinds of answers. Teens can be flighty creatures, so it's important that parents know how to best approach their child when they've got questions. In this episode I will teach you everything you need to know about the art of posing a question. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

Ah, the magical time of year where we review how we've done the previous year and look forward to changes we'd like to make. New Year's resolutions rarely stick for longer than a few weeks, but I've got a few tricks to teach that will help to sustain your parenting goals for lifelong improvement. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

So many of us find joy to be elusive- a goal we always talk about obtaining, but never more than, "it's what Christ offers us." While this is true, I am going to offer you specifics to how joy works and how to create it in your parenting. (Spoiler: once you can create joy one area of your life, you can create it in every area of your life. Brilliant.) To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

Want to gift yourself with amazing insights to make 2021 your best parenting year yet? Monique and I keep it real. In this episode you will see parenting differently as we ask frank questions and reveal so much awesomeness. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com About my guest: Monique is a leadership coach and business mentor. She is passionate about helping people become their best. Those who have worked with her come away having overcome fear and feel empowered and equipped with the tools she teaches in her Elevate program. To learn more, visit moniquescrip.com

Are you one of those people who always needs to be busy? Who feel better the more that they get done? Do you define your parental success by your progress, and that of your teen? If it's a yes, I feel you. This is the work that I am doing in my life and see so many of my clients dealing with similar habits. There is a specific reason for this and I break it all down for you in this episode. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com To grab my digital parenting course, visit https://heatherfrazier.com/minic-sp/

Love feels amazing, so why do we as parents so often deny ourselves of that feeling? Too often we are waiting for our teen to behave how we want them to. Our Savior, Jesus Christ, teaches differently. In honor of His birth, I want to explore His way of loving- unconditionally. To grab Foundational Parenting, please visit https://heatherfrazier.com/minic-sp/ To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

If your teen opens up to you, what next? In this episode I will teach you how to be a good listener, what questions to both ask and avoid, and how to best guide your teen in those sensitive moments. To grab my digital parenting course, please visit https://heatherfrazier.com/minic-sp/ To learn about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

Have you ever felt 'so much' that you couldn't even say what emotions you were feeling? Or how about going from frustrated to furious in seconds? As humans, we tend to layer, mix, and judge our feelings. In this episode I will discuss emotions on top of emotions and all the juicy details of it. To grab Foundational Parenting, digital course, please visit https://heatherfrazier.com/minic-sp/ To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

"Yeah, but..." It's a common phrase that we use. In this episode, I'll explain the "why we do," and "why we shouldn't," take this route of communication. I'll also provide you with a much more powerful alternative. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com

In today's episode I will breakdown for you the "why" and "what now" of your teen deciding that church isn't for them anymore. Having experienced this myself, I know how much pain this can cause, and the collateral damage that can occur after they walk away. I want to give you new information and a fresh perspective- one that will work for everyone. To learn more about working with me, please visit heatherfrazier.com