Overcome Pornography for Good

Hear my conversation with Steve about his experience quitting porn and how instrumental the tools and coaching he received in my program were for his success. Discover how Steve learned to handle his urges, the compounding effect of consistency as you do this work, and how he developed the confidence to be porn-free. You're not alone in your struggle to quit porn, and this conversation will show you just how much is possible when you're ready to do this work. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/whats-possible-steve

This week, I’m speaking with Madi Davis, a 19-year-old student whose mission is to help girls who struggle with pornography. She’s a freshman at BYU and the host of the Sisters On The Front Lines Podcast where she speaks about and aims to combat the shame surrounding young women struggling with pornography. Madi’s mission is one we don’t talk about openly nearly enough, and this is a conversation that is so necessary. In a world where many women have repressed their sexuality and experience shame or trauma around it, curiosity and education are vital. Madi was brave enough to publicly share her own journey with pornography, and she’s here this week to offer her insights on young women grappling with porn use. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/young-women-pornography-madi-davis

As humans, it's common for us to derive our sense of worth from our productivity. However, when it comes to quitting porn, intertwining productivity and worthiness isn't actually helpful. In fact, it makes it even more challenging to overcome porn addiction. If you're ready for an alternative approach, this episode is for you. Start recognizing how you link your worthiness to your productivity and learn how to break free from this mindset. I'm showing you precisely how this way of thinking affects your attempts to quit viewing porn, the unhelpful thoughts and emotions that arise when you base your worthiness on productivity, and how to begin cultivating feelings of worthiness and self-acceptance, regardless of your porn use. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/productivity-worthiness

A belief plan is simple in concept but requires hard work. It necessitates deep inner work that can be uncomfortable to face. However, the practice of examining your beliefs and cultivating new ones is vital when it comes to quitting habits like pornography, or any other area in your life where you desire change. Discover what a belief plan is and why it is key, not just for achieving the goal of quitting porn, but for changing your life beyond this habit. I’m offering you a belief plan exercise you can use to start the work of overcoming pornography, as well as ideas for new thoughts to cultivate. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/belief-plan-2

Searching for the keys to navigating loneliness and cultivating healthy relationships while dealing with a pornography habit? Seeking guidance on how to disclose this part of your life to your partner? Tune into our enlightening discussion as relationship and sex coach, Tammy Hill, offers practical advice on overcoming loneliness and building the relationship of your dreams. She'll shed light on the powerful impacts of nurturing an abundance mindset and taking care of our minds and bodies. Not only this, but she'll guide us on how to thrive in singleness and shed light on the tricky question - when is the right time to disclose your porn habit in a relationship? Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/loneliness-dating-tammy-hill

Whatever you're trying to create in your life, you're going to face challenges and difficulties, and it won't be easy. The River of Misery doesn't sound great. However, it's all about accepting the misery so we can start moving through it. Discover why understanding the River of Misery will help you quit viewing pornography and never go back to it. I'm sharing the thoughts that make the River of Misery difficult to cross, and showing you how to see the patterns that are keeping you stuck so you can begin working on them and make it to the other side. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/the-river-of-misery

James had been viewing porn on and off since he was 11 years old, which adds up to over 40 years. He had always labeled himself as an addict and had heavy thoughts around his pornography use. However, with the approach we use in Overcome Pornography for Good, everything started to change for James. Discover what is possible when you stop labeling yourself as an addict. James shares the beliefs he changed around his pornography use and what it means and dives into all the work we did in Overcome Pornography for Good that helped him quit porn and move forward with his life. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/whats-possible-james

Overwhelm is one of those all-encompassing uncomfortable emotions that makes us feel frozen. Quitting porn requires some miserable growth periods, which means overwhelm will naturally be a part of your experience. The good news though is that overwhelm is not a problem, and it’s easier to make progress if you lean into it. I’m sharing four strategies for breaking the cycle of overwhelm. Hear what typically happens if you resist overwhelm, why you’re not actually at the mercy of this emotion, and the importance of approaching learning new skills with tiny baby steps along the way. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/overwhelm

Lindsay Poelman is a life coach focused on helping people who are struggling with their spouse’s porn use and an expert in trauma-informed coaching, and she’s here this week to shed light on what relationship spirals mean, and how to get out of them. Lindsay shares how relationship spirals have a lot to do with our individual conditioning. Hear why we have to first understand the context of our conditioning to untangle our relationship spirals, and how you’re both allowed to create a safe space for your own healing. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/relationship-spirals-lindsay-poelman

When it comes to your own healing and quitting porn, there are so many opinions, thoughts, and ways to do it that can be offered to you out there. That’s why this might be one of the most important episodes that I ever share with you. Hear why you have everything you need inside of you to heal and quit porn for good. I’m showing you how we’re conditioned to believe the authority lives outside of us, and why it’s vital to recognize nothing and no one is above questioning. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/you-are-the-authority

No matter how old you are, you can quit porn. My guest today is proof that it's possible. Jeff is 75 years old and had struggled with pornography since he was 14 years old. He had tried to quit many times over the years, but none of those attempts resulted in permanent change. Jeff shares why his attempts to quit over the years didn’t work, how it affected his relationship with his wife, and how what he learned in the program changed everything. Jeff says he’s now free to live his life the way he wants to, and I want you to know that that freedom is possible for you too! Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/quitting-porn-at-age-75

Many of us have received the conditioning that men are typically the sexual ones in a relationship and that they have an insatiable sexual need that has to be satisfied. To dive into this topic, I’m talking to sex coach Amanda Louder, host of the Sex for Saints podcast. Hear why we have to reframe the belief that your spouse should fulfill your sexual needs. Amanda is sharing where this belief comes from, what you miss out on when you believe this messaging, and her top tips for what actually creates the best, most fulfilling sexual relationship. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/spouse-fulfill-sexual-needs-amanda-louder

Many of us were taught to be terrified of our sexuality. It’s something we don’t talk about openly, and maybe you think of it as evil or dangerous. However, the truth is sexuality and urges are something you have, so does everyone else and they live with us forever.  Discover how to control your sexual urges. I’m showing you how your sexuality can actually be your friend and companion, and why you don’t have to tame it by resorting to locking it away or hating it. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/control-your-sexual-urges

Thomas is a member of Overcome Pornography for Good and he struggled with porn on and off for 40 years. He decided he was ready to quit and did the work with our coach, Kat. He’s here to share his story and hopefully, impart his belief that you too can do it.  He’s offering the tools that made the biggest difference to his porn use, how he made the decision to commit to the work, and how he’s now showing up as a serene person who is more intentional with his time both at work and at home.  Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/whats-possible-thomas

When you feel shame around having viewed pornography, blame is never far behind. Whether you blame yourself and experience more shame or you find someone else to blame for what you’re going through, this is a trap many of my clients are stuck in when they first come to me. Start the work of escaping the shame-blame trap. I’m sharing why, even though it’s difficult to talk yourself out of shame, you can move through it with compassion for yourself, without resorting to blaming others. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/shame-blame-trap

I’m sharing a replay of one of the most important episodes of this podcast to date all about one of the foundational things you need to understand if you want to quit viewing porn and never go back to it: urges. Discover why you don’t have to push your urges away or try to silence them. Like any new skill, there will be failures along the way. But when you are no longer scared of your urges, I promise, you’ll be able to approach them in a way that will completely change your life. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/essential-episodes-stop-fearing-urges

I have a special guest on the show this week. Kat Jenkins is one of the coaches in Overcome Pornography for Good and she recently completed some certifications in breathwork. Discover what breathwork is and how it can help you quit viewing pornography for good. Kat and I are discussing how buffering with pornography impacts your nervous system, and how breathwork can bring ease and calm into your body when you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/breathwork-kat-jenkins 

You might be thinking that if you can just get through this week without viewing porn, then you’re on the right track. But the truth is, we need to look at the long term, and this requires that you stop thinking in weeks or even months, and start thinking in years. Learn why thinking in years makes for more sustainable action than only looking at the short term, and how to benefit from the compound effect of implementing a long-term strategy. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/think-in-years

Tina Gosney is a Certified Family Relationship Coach who helps LDS parents who have a child leaving the church, and she’s also an incredible coach and asset in our Overcome Pornography for Good program. Tina walks us through the 10 loopholes that keep you from changing. You’ll hear why you shouldn’t let these loopholes send you into a shame spiral if you relate to them, and how to start questioning the loopholes that your brain tries to offer you.  Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/loopholes-tina-gosney

Have you ever found yourself feeling desensitized to porn and the process of trying to quit? You might feel miserable, exhausted, and just don’t care anymore. Discover what might be leading you to feeling desensitized, and my recommendations for what to do when you find yourself feeling this way. You’ll hear how to listen to your body’s signals in these moments, and why, when you do, you’ll be able to quit viewing porn so much easier and faster.  Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/feeling-desensitized

Tune in this week for a simple exercise that will help you understand what’s going on in your brain when you have intrusive thoughts on a deeper level. I’m sharing why trying to stop, avoid, or question your intrusive thoughts will only make them worse, and how to instead accept them and let them pass. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/pink-elephant-and-intrusive-thoughts

Tune in this week to discover what your anger is trying to tell you, and how to keep the focus on yourself as you work through anger that relates to other people. I’m sharing some stories from my own life about anger, why anger is just a package, and how to start unpacking your anger in a way that helps you let it go. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/anger

Discover where you’re choosing indulgence over self-love and the important differences between the two. I’m sharing how our brains find it so difficult to show ourselves compassion and some thoughts you can try to show up with more self-love when you need it most. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/self-love-is-not-indulgence

Tune in this week to dig deeper into your story of you. I’m giving you a practical exercise to get clear on the ways your story of you is leaving you feeling unworthy and shameful, so you can get clear on the facts of your story and how your thoughts about these facts are making your story feel a whole lot worse. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/the-story-of-you

This week, I’m sharing a year-in-review exercise I love doing at the end of a year. It’s very simple, but if you carve out the time to do it, I promise you will be in awe of where you are right now and excited about everything you are about to accomplish by the end of this year. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/year-in-review-visualization

Discover my one lesson to the world. I’m discussing with Michael Anderson how change happens not when we’re shamed into a different behavior, but when we align ourselves with our values while loving and accepting ourselves. I’m sharing the mindset tools that changed everything for me, why I chose this work, and we’re sharing how we help our clients toward self-acceptance. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/one-lesson-michael-anderson

Discover how to start creating trust after betrayal trauma. Geoff Steurer addresses the pain that occurs on both sides of the situation, what the porn viewer can do to heal themselves as they heal their relationship, and the power of coregulation as you move through betrayal trauma, navigate shame and begin to rebuild trust and intimacy. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/betrayal-trauma-geoff-steurer

Chaz shares his experience of struggling with pornography and learning the skills of overcoming this habit, all while making it work within his faith beliefs. He’s sharing the trajectory of his porn use, why he felt stuck, and the concepts that made the biggest difference in helping him get out of this cyclical loop.  Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/whats-possible-chaz

Discover my top lessons from 100 episodes of Overcome Pornography for Good. I’m discussing what I’ve learned in regard to being productive without burning out, showing up with commitment and effort, how to make the difficult things fun, the importance of focusing on happiness as well as success, and the things that have kept me going on this podcasting journey so far! Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/top-lessons-from-100-episodes

Can you guarantee success? The truth is, no one else can guarantee success for you, but you can make it a certainty for yourself. Nobody else out there can do the work for you. This is all about taking responsibility for your own healing and cultivating a mindset that makes success inevitable. And this week, I'm showing you how. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/guarantee-success

Discover how to start laser-focusing on the goals that are most important to you. This is one of the lessons that has changed my life dramatically, and laser focusing on one thing at a time will change everything for you as well, allowing you to love yourself as you are, and achieve your goals from that place. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/laser-focus

Discover what to do when you don’t believe you can do something. We’re talking about this in relation to quitting porn, but you can apply this logic to any goal you’re pursuing. I’m sharing how to start developing real self-trust by taking small, practical steps, so you can start believing that whatever you want to achieve really is possible. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/you-can-do-it

Carl Rogers said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” This is what radical acceptance means. Practicing radical acceptance won’t mean you’ll stay stuck, it's what will fuel the change you want. So this week, I’m offering my favorite sentences that you can add to your Emotion Doc to help you access this emotion. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/emotion-doc-radical-acceptance

I’m introducing you to a great tool you’re going to want to start using immediately: the Emotion Doc. Hear what my Emotion Doc entails, and how you can apply it to any emotion you want to try on. I’m sharing the thoughts that help me access certainty and one vital question to ask yourself as you consider accessing certainty, so you can attain any goal you set for yourself. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/emotion-doc-certainty

Discover the difference between nurturing yourself and numbing. You’ll hear some questions you can ask yourself to identify what you need most in moments when you are tempted to numb with pornography, and why nurturing yourself is not the same as running away from your emotions.  Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/nurture-vs-numbing

Discover what is really creating the feeling that your porn habit is out of control. Whether you’re feeling shame around your porn use, or you just don’t understand it, I’m showing you why it’s okay to have bad habits, as long as we acknowledge them, and I’m giving you everything you need to know to show up with integrity and regain a sense of control over your pornography habit. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/out-of-control

Join me this week as I show you how to retrain your brain, and what this retraining of your brain will require of you. You’ll discover why, while retraining your brain can be simple, it won’t necessarily be easy, and some important considerations to keep in mind as you practice this process. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/retrain-your-brain

Discover how the reward system in our brains has been vital to our survival, and why it’s become a modern-day problem. I’m showing you why we don’t have to be at the mercy of our brain’s reward system, and how to recognize that your craving for porn is no different from any other dopamine-producing substance. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/reward-system-over-desire

In the final installment of this three-part interview, Ryan offers his research and findings on beginning to understand shame in a new way. We’re discussing the difference between guilt and shame, the dangers of equating these two emotions, and what you can do to combat shame, instead of continuing to feed it. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/shame-ryan-hewitt

Tune in this week for a deeper understanding of the psychological tension that keeps people going back to porn time and time again. We’re discussing why simply changing the behavior of viewing porn isn’t going to help with the discomfort of moral incongruence, and Ryan is sharing what the research says is the best way to approach changing your pornography use. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/moral-incongruence-ryan-hewitt

In part one of this three-part series, Ryan Hewitt shares his fascinating research on addiction and porn. You’ll discover how, in many cases, perceived addiction around porn is rooted in an internal battle rather than an actual addiction, and why we have to be cautious about labeling our impulses as an addiction. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/addiction-ryan-hewitt

Discover everything you need to know about being worthy and creating the feeling of worthiness. I’m sharing why you don’t have to change your behavior in order to feel worthy, why quitting porn in itself isn’t where your worthiness is going to come from, and how you can create worthiness right now, regardless of your actions. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/worthiness

This week, learn how to recognize that you are not your thoughts. I’m showing you why we have certain thoughts that we seem to keep thinking no matter how hard we try not to, and how to start becoming an observer of your thoughts to allow more peace and self-love as you move towards your goals.  Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/you-are-not-your-thoughts

Discover new insights and perspectives around the relationship between the LGBTQ+ community, the Church, and viewing pornography. We’re discussing how religion impacted TJ’s experience of processing his sexual orientation, why pornography use doesn’t influence your sexual orientation, and the importance of dismantling the internalized homophobia that makes acknowledging and exploring one’s sexuality so difficult.  Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/LQBTQ+-porn-tj-thomas

Tina and I dive into a three-part concept called The Success Circle. You’ll learn what The Success Circle entails, how each element interacts with each other, and what is required of you to create incremental progress towards your goals.  Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/success-circle-with-tina

If you’re truly sick and tired of porn controlling you, you no longer believe the narrative that you’ll have to struggle forever, or you believe you’re capable of anything, but for some reason, porn has been the one thing you can’t seem to get rid of, join me this week. You'll hear how private coaching might be exactly what you need to change your life.  Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/lessons-from-private-coaching

Discover how the feeling of loneliness contributes to a pornography habit. I’m sharing the impact of the thoughts you have around your loneliness, how to recognize these thoughts when they come up, and I’m showing you how to change the narrative that your loneliness is something that needs a quick and temporary fix.  Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/loneliness

Sometimes, the problem isn’t that you just suck. Sometimes, the problem is that you need to take a look at the systems and the way you’re going about where you’re trying to get. Join me to discover how, maybe, the problem isn’t you if you’re struggling to quit viewing pornography. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/problem-isnt-you

Discover why quitting porn is possible, even if you’ve never made it a day without viewing porn in the past. I’m sharing how to see why your past doesn’t define your future, and how to start focusing solely on your future to give up pornography for good.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/past-vs-future-focus

I clarify confusion about buffering and show you where you might be going in the wrong direction with it. I’m showing you the true reason you’re experiencing unwanted porn use, what it really takes to finally quit, and where buffering falls in all of this.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/confusion-about-buffering