
Overcome Pornography for Good
293 episodes — Page 3 of 6

192. 5 Biggest Mistakes When Quitting Porn
Do you feel stuck in a cycle of trying to quit porn, only to slip up and feel like a failure? Have you tried willpower, counting days, and shame tactics, but nothing seems to work long-term? If so, you're not alone. Join me this week to discover the five biggest mistakes people make when trying to quit pornography. Whether you've struggled for decades or are just starting your journey, you’ll learn the tools and insights you need to finally break free and create the life you desire. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/5-biggest-mistakes Register for my free live class, The New, Revolutionary Way to Quit Porn for Good, September 19, 2024. A shame-free, sex-positive methodology that is guaranteed to help you overcome pornography for good: https://centerforovercoming.com/freeliveclass

191. What’s Possible with Sam (Replay)
Have you struggled to overcome pornography for years or even decades? Do you feel out of control, ashamed, and hopeless that you'll never be able to quit for good? If you resonate, today’s powerful episode will show you what's truly possible when it comes to breaking free from your porn habit. Tune in to hear the breakthroughs Sam experienced that allowed him to finally quit porn for good after 20 years of failed attempts. He shares how overcoming his porn habit improved every area of his life, from his marriage to his career, and his thoughts on the long-term impact of investing in yourself. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/whats-possible-sam-2

190. ADHD and Porn Use with Kersti Spjut
This week, I’m joined by Dr. Kersti Spjut, a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in sexual health and perfectionism. With years of experience running programs at BYU for people conflicted about their porn use, she brings a wealth of knowledge and practical strategies to help navigate the unique challenges that come with having ADHD while trying to change sexual behaviors. Tune in this week as Kersti dives deep into the connection between ADHD and porn use. She offers her insights on the shame and stigma surrounding ADHD, why those with ADHD may be more drawn to the ‘stickiness’ of porn, and her top recommendations of interventions that have helped people with ADHD manage their porn use. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/adhd-porn-use-kersti-spjut

189. No More Band-Aid Solutions
One of the biggest misconceptions about having a porn habit is that if you’re experiencing unwanted pornography use, you’re lacking strength, willpower, or spirituality. This misleading belief is not only false but often leads to avoidance techniques I call Band-Aid solutions. In this episode, I show you how to stop relying on these quick fixes and how making tiny changes in the way you cope with emotions can change everything. Discover what Band-Aid solutions can look like in practice and why they don’t work long-term. Learn why buffering and numbing out prevents you from processing emotions in a healthy way, and how to stop the cycle of turning to porn every time life gets challenging so you can finally experience true freedom. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/no-more-band-aid-solutions

188. Abusive Attitudes and Behaviors with Lindsay Poelman
To dive into abusive attitudes and behaviors, boundaries, and worthiness wounds, I’m joined by Lindsay Poelman this week. Lindsay started as a betrayal trauma coach for women whose husbands view porn and is now a facilitator for Trauma-Informed coaches. She’s here to shed light on how worthiness wounds can contribute to abusive attitudes and behaviors, and what you can do to start the healing process. Discover the emotional wounds that often contribute to abusive dynamics in relationships. Lindsay and I explore examples of how abusive attitudes and behaviors can manifest, why you’re more likely to exhibit abusive tendencies if you have deep worthiness wounds, and Lindsay’s brain hacks for setting boundaries and creating a sense of self-safety. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/abusive-attitudes-behaviors-lindsay-poelman

187. Worthiness Wounds Part 2: Protect and Provide
To protect and provide is a beautiful energy that can be used for so much good in our world, regardless of gender. However, in the presence of worthiness wounds, these values can quickly turn toxic, and I show you how in this episode. Hear what worthiness wounds are, why they hurt, and how they might be showing up for you if you identify with the value of protecting and providing. Learn how this role turns toxic if you haven’t healed your worthiness wounds, why this conditioning is often enmeshed with toxic masculinity, and examples of how you can use this value of protecting and providing in healthy and honorable ways instead. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/worthiness-wounds-part-2-protect-provide

186. Working Backwards
The working backwards process is all about figuring out what you’re buffering from. The value lies in going further back than you might typically be used to, to get to the root of why you self-sabotaged. By uncovering the root cause of your self-sabotage, you unlock the keys to building lasting change. I walk you through the keys to using the working backwards process effectively, and share an example from my own life of how I use this technique to understand myself better and replace self-judgment with self-compassion. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/working-backwards

185. Shame-Free Commitment
Let’s talk about shame-free commitment. Whether your goal is to quit viewing porn completely, view it a couple of times a week, or heal your sexual shame, the why behind it is an essential component of your journey to quitting porn. Your feelings are the fuel for your quitting journey. I show you how to ditch the shame and focus on building shame-free commitments that empower you to live your best life. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/shame-free

184. Denial
If you’re currently on a journey towards quitting your pornography habit, chances are you’ve experienced denial along the way. Denial is a defensive state where you might refuse to accept or look at the truth, and while this is a common human experience, shame and guilt often come along with it. Learn a shame-free perspective on denial and examples of when denial shows up as a result of grief. Hear about the importance of noticing and feeling your sense of grief and how to find the peace and healing you desire. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/denial

183. Worthiness Wounds Part 1: The Conditioning
In this Worthiness Wounds series, I’ll be speaking specifically to men and the worthiness wounds I’ve observed. A worthiness wound is the wound of shame and never feeling good enough, believing you have to do or be something more to be worthy. It’s not your fault if you resonate, but you’re the only one who can heal them, and I’m showing you how. Learn about the conditioning men receive that creates worthiness wounds and the types of results they produce. Hear why you’ll continue to feel empty if you’re chasing external accomplishments as a way to heal, how these types of wounds create buffering activities, and why they hurt not only you but those you love most too. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/worthiness-wounds-part-1-the-conditioning

182. What to Do When Everyone Around You Takes a Shame Approach
If you’re learning new skills related to your porn use, they’re changing your life, and you’re feeling the benefits, but other people don’t get it, you’re not alone. Many people find themselves in situations where they feel relentlessly attacked by shame messages. While it might feel like it’s hindering your healing process, the truth is your power doesn’t come from other people finally getting it. Learn what to do when everyone around you takes a shame approach to porn. I’m showing you how your peace and freedom come from not participating in these narratives, some ways you might choose to step out of the line of fire, and how, when you learn to do this, you can make a much bigger difference in your community. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/everyone-shame-approach

181. Ask a Coach: The It’s-Not-Working Mentality
Coach Kat is on the show this week to address the it’s-not-working mentality, where you feel stuck and like nothing has changed. Maybe it feels like you’ve been doing the work for months, only to keep viewing porn. Perhaps this plateau is tempting you to give up, but the truth is the breakthrough you’re looking for is right around the corner. Listen in this week as Coach Kat shows you how the it’s-not-working mentality might be showing up for you, and why you shouldn’t give up at this point. Hear why the work you’re currently doing isn’t going to waste, even if it feels like it, and how we know that the magic of change is inevitable if you don’t give up on yourself. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/ask-a-coach-the-its-not-working-mentality

180. Ask a Coach: How to Become Shame-Resilient
This week’s Ask a Coach question is one many of you can probably relate to: “Does the shame I feel after slipping up and viewing porn ever really go away?” While we can learn to move through shame in different and more useful ways, I don’t know that it’s possible to completely get rid of it. The good news is that while shame will continue to show up for us, what we can do is start developing shame-resilience. Coach Jessica Farmer is here this week to shed light on what it means to become shame-resilient and how to start practicing this skill. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/ask-a-coach-become-shame-resilient

179. Ask a Coach: 5 Tips for Your Learn and Move On Worksheet
A common theme we see frequently in our Ask a Coach feature revolves around our Learn and Move On worksheet. Clients fill in their Learn and Move On before sending it in for feedback, and because it’s such a vital part of our process, Coach Kat is here to share five ways you can make it more beneficial to you. Learn five practical tips for making the most of our Learn and Move On worksheet. Coach Kat is sharing how you can use it to collect data, get more precise about what’s going on for you, and even use it in conjunction with other milestones to find information you hadn’t seen before. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/ask-a-coach-learn-and-move-on-worksheet

178. Pornography, Sexual Health, Sexuality, & More: Q&A
We’re diving straight into listener questions for a special Q&A on healthy sexuality. We tackle a variety of thought-provoking questions, from a listener who feels disconnected from his sexuality and believes it's controlled by his spouse to concerns about whether masturbation causes erectile dysfunction. Plus, we hear from someone who has overcome shame about masturbation but now worries about discussing changes in her body with a future spouse. Learn how to approach sensitive conversations about body image, understand the real effects of pornography on sexual health, and discover ways to foster a healthier, more confident relationship with your sexuality. Whether you're dealing with personal challenges or looking for deeper insights, this episode is packed with valuable advice and compassionate guidance. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/pornography-sexual-health-sexuality

177. Ask a Coach: “What if Something Is Seriously Wrong with Me?”
If you've been working on quitting porn for a long time but still keep viewing pornography, you might be asking, "What if there really is something wrong with me?" There are a few things we need to unpack in order to answer this question in a productive way. So if you have been trying to quit but you're still turning to pornography, and you're starting to worry that something really is wrong with you, this episode is for you. Discover how the sentence, "There's something wrong with me…" is actually stopping you from making progress. This is a limiting belief that keeps you stuck, and you'll learn how to replace this limiting, judgmental sentence with something way more useful instead. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/ask-a-coach-seriously-wrong-with-me

Q&A Episode: Send in Your Questions!
bonusI am doing a bonus Q&A episode in a couple of weeks! If you have questions about previous episodes around healthy sexuality, porn panic, masturbation, healthy, sexuality, etc. send them to [email protected] and we will answer them in this upcoming episode!

176. Ask a Coach: What to Do with Unwanted Thoughts and Images
“What do I do with unwanted thoughts and images that come into my mind?” This is the Ask a Coach question being addressed on the podcast today. Join Coach Kat as she walks you through the CTFAR model and how to use it in relation to this question, why having unwanted thoughts or images isn’t a problem, and a new way to think about them on purpose without any judgment or shame. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/ask-a-coach-unwanted-thoughts-images

175. Masturbation
Porn use and masturbation often go hand-in-hand, and in this episode, we’re diving deep into the research on masturbation to help you release your distress and feel empowered instead. While there continues to be so much misinformation about masturbation, there is no evidence of it causing negative health effects, so why do we still believe it’s harmful? Learn about the worries people experience about masturbation, and why it’s actually a completely normal part of healthy development. I’m exploring how extreme distress can cause sexual trauma, why the shame around masturbation is learned and unhealthy, and the damaging effects of sexual shame. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/masturbation

174. Fantasy vs Desire, Intrusive Thoughts, and Porn Literacy
The realm of sexuality can sometimes be erotic, strange, or even dark, and that’s okay. If you’ve spent your life demonizing or rejecting your sexuality, you’ve probably found it extremely challenging to cut back on or completely cut out viewing pornography, and the answer here is to start accepting and loving your sexuality instead. Learn how understanding the differences between fantasy, desire, and choice is the secret to using your sexuality for good. I’m showing you the importance of knowing what is and isn’t real in porn, what to do if you’re distressed by intrusive sexual thoughts, and how to integrate your sexuality into your whole human experience. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/fantasy-desire-intrusive-thoughts-porn-literacy

173. Healthy Sexuality Part 2: More Myths About Pornography
Last week, I shared part one of this milestone where we dove into what it means to use your sexuality for good and what that can look like. I also touched on porn panic and started dispelling myths about porn that just aren’t true, and I’m sharing even more myths about pornography this week that may be keeping you stuck. I dispel more porn myths that are creating panic, shame, and fear, and show you how most of the research available to us is biased. Learn about the ongoing research project we’re undertaking, non-shame-based reasons for you to work through a porn habit, and why busting these myths will give you more freedom and control over how you want to use your sexuality. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/healthy-sexuality-part-2

172. Healthy Sexuality Part 1: Using Sexuality for Good
Sexual shame and purity culture teach us that sexuality is bad and inherently sinful, and I’m inviting you to question that narrative this week. The truth is your sexuality is neutral, but you may have been taught that your sexuality is something to be feared. Hear my thoughts on healthy sexuality and what using your sexuality for good can look like. I’m exploring the key concepts that will help you reduce the shame you’re experiencing, busting the most common myths about porn that might be holding you back, and addressing the moral panic that comes from porn use. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/healthy-sexuality-part-1

171. Ask a Coach: Feeling It in Your Body
Coach Jessica Farmer is here to answer this Ask a Coach question this week. In a world where we’ve been taught to shut down our emotions, you’re not alone if paying attention to your body feels challenging. However, if it often feels like your emotions are in control of you, learning how to truly feel your emotions is vital. Jessica explains the importance of gaining awareness of the physical manifestations of your emotions. Learn what it means to ‘feel’ it in your body and where to start if you’re struggling to feel your physical sensations. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/ask-a-coach-feeling-your-body

170. Announcing Our Rebrand to The Center for Overcoming Pornography
We’ve been Sara Brewer Coaching since day one, and we are now rebranding to The Center for Overcoming Pornography. This is an outward manifestation of all the internal changes that have been happening in me, my business, and my team, and I can’t wait to tell you all about it. Hear why this rebrand is happening, the big updates that are coming to the program, and how all of this affects you. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/rebrand-the-center-for-overcoming-pornography

169. Developing Personal Spiritual Authority
The problem with trusting other people, whether that’s a specific leader, congregation, or organization, is that you’ll often get differing or contradicting opinions. This is an exhausting and defeating place to be, and it’s incredibly disempowering. Learn what it means to develop your personal spiritual authority and why it matters more than you might think. I show you what to do if you find yourself leaning on others to tell you what’s good or best for your life, examples of subtle spiritual abuse, and how to recognize the depth of your connection to your highest, most spiritual self. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/personal-spiritual-authority

168. What’s Missing from the Quit Porn Industry & Why It’s Messing You Up
It’s not your fault if you’ve been unable to quit your porn habit. Most people have been told to just stop, use more willpower, pray, or focus on connections in their lives. These approaches don’t get to the root cause of unwanted porn use and actually make it worse in most cases. Join me on this episode to learn how the quit porn industry is not addressing the root issue of porn use, and why you need to get underneath the surface to truly heal. You’ll hear how my approach addresses the drivers of unwanted porn use, and why it’s changing the lives of my clients. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/missing-from-quit-porn-industry

167. The Power of Prioritizing Nervous System Healing
Have you ever found yourself wondering why you made a decision that you know wasn’t in your best interest? What do you do when you experience an urge and have difficulty moving through it? Why does it sometimes feel impossible to make conscious decisions from your higher brain? If you’ve ever found it challenging to think through your decisions, you’re not alone. Prioritizing nervous system healing in these moments is the secret to bringing your brain back online, but it can be difficult to practice. That’s why this week, I’m sharing some simple ideas for grounding and orienting yourself when nothing else seems to be working. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/prioritizing-nervous-system-healing

166. Interpreting the Scripture: Whosoever Lusteth Committeth Adultery with Dan Purcell
This week, I’m joined by sex and intimacy coach for married couples, Dan Purcell. Dan is the founder of Get Your Marriage On: a step-by-step program designed for couples who want more closeness, deeper intimacy, honesty, and an exciting sex life. He’s also the creator of the Intimately Us app, host of the Get Your Marriage On podcast, and leads retreats, all with a Christian perspective. I invited Dan on to the show this week to dive into a specific scripture from The Sermon on the Mount where Christ says, “Whoever lusteth after a woman has committed adultery in his heart.” If this scripture has been something you’ve battled with on your porn journey, listen in this week as Dan and I explore its interpretations and how we can use it in a way that serves us better. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/interpreting-scripture-dan-purcell

165. Repetition is Magic
If you’re a long-time listener of the show, you’ll understand the crucial role your beliefs play in your ability to overcome your pornography habit. That’s why helping you intentionally create new thoughts and beliefs is a foundational part of my work, and the magic lies in repetition. Join me this week to hear why there’s magic in repetition, how I incorporate the power of repetition into my daily life, and how using my Belief Plan guided meditation will help create new neural pathways in your brain so you can believe new thoughts that serve you on your journey. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/repetition-magic

164. Jenga vs. Super Mario Brothers
In Jenga, you don’t want to be the person who pulls out the piece that brings the whole tower crashing down. It’s high pressure, high stakes, and one wrong move ends the game. This isn’t the mindset that will help you quit viewing porn. On the other hand, Super Mario Brothers involves dying over and over again, but you don’t start at the very beginning. You go again from your last checkpoint. This is the mindset that will help you use your slip-ups as growth opportunities, and I’m showing you how on this episode. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/jenga-super-mario-brothers

163. Intro to Inner Child Work
Inner child work is a healing modality that centers around recognizing and healing childhood trauma. It addresses how we may have experienced hurt or pain during different periods of our lives, which we've moved past but continue to carry with us. Taking responsibility for healing your inner child can be a beautiful way to heal who you are today. I’m sharing some examples of inner child healing work from my program and what to expect as you begin healing those wounds. Discover how healing your inner child doesn’t just benefit you but can also heal ancestral or generational trauma and positively impact the lives of those around you too. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/intro-inner-child

162. What’s Possible with Konstantin
Konstantin is an expert at setting and achieving ambitious goals. He has no problem with endeavors that require a great deal of dedication, willpower, and routine. Although everything else in his life was flourishing, he was internally battling with his porn habit, and he decided it was time to look for support. Hear about Konstantin’s porn journey and what his unique path to healing looks like. He generously shares the struggles he faced in trying to quit his porn habit, the one thing that shifted his experience, and his advice for anyone who can resonate with his story and also wants a solution. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/whats-possible-konstantin

161. Keep It Simple - Beliefs and Identity
In today’s episode of the Keep It Simple series, we discuss how identities are sometimes imposed upon us. They are like seeds planted by others, blooming in our minds until they become the beliefs we have about ourselves. I’m showing you how to uncover some beliefs that are not true to you and how to unlearn them. Learn the necessity of knowing the difference between beliefs and facts, how to pinpoint the beliefs that are keeping you from quitting porn, and how to create awareness about what you believe is a fact. Discover three steps to change your beliefs about yourself and discover why you need to be aware of things in order to change them. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/beliefs-identity

160. Is Porn Use Infidelity? With Andrea Giles
Andrea Giles is an infidelity coach who primarily works with women trying to heal after infidelity, and she’s here to explore the question, “Is porn use infidelity?” Hear Andrea’s definition of infidelity and whether she believes unwanted porn use constitutes cheating in a relationship. We’re exploring how to gain an objective view of your situation, why independent healing matters, and her top tips for rebuilding a loving relationship with a shared vision moving forward. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/porn-use-infidelity-andrea-giles

159. Keep It Simple - Emotions and Buffering
On this Keep It Simple episode, we’re exploring the topics of emotions and buffering. I'm walking you through how to process emotions, the role of buffering in your porn habit, and how to generate the emotions that will help you achieve your goals. Learn the importance of identifying how buffering shows up for you, why processing your emotions is a crucial step in overcoming your porn habit, why the shame cycle keeps you stuck, and how to heal those stories. Discover how to create the emotional fuel that will help you reach your goals. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/emotions-buffering

158. What’s Possible with Dan
Dan started viewing porn at 15 by accident with his friends and has been battling it for over four decades. From various programs to tools like phone filters, he tried and failed at everything he thought would help him “be good,” until he found Overcome Pornography for Good. Join us on this episode as Dan shares his pornography journey with us and how a shame-free approach changed his outlook on his habit. He’s offering the podcast episodes and concepts that had the biggest impact on him, and he discusses the transformations he’s witnessed in the last year and a half of doing this work. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/whats-possible-dan

157. Keep It Simple – Commitment
If you want to quit porn, the best way to reach your goal is to keep the process simple. We make things unnecessarily complicated and confusing, so to continue our Keep It Simple series, we’re talking this week about step two: commitment. Discover a new perspective on commitment to quitting porn. I’m discussing the problem with coming at your commitment from a place of fear and shame, and you'll learn how to reframe your thoughts around why you want to quit porn, increasing your chances of being successful in the process. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/commitment

156. OCD with Jill Freestone
Jill Freestone is an anxiety coach for teens and adults who specializes in helping them explore and understand life’s big emotions. She’s also an expert on the topic of OCD, and she’s here this week to highlight how OCD relates to people who want to quit porn and why understanding scrupulous tendencies can help steer you toward the path to healing. Join us on this episode as Jill offers her insights on the basic characteristics of scrupulous OCD, why it becomes a problem, and how to identify if it may be present for you. We’re also diving into how scrupulous OCD keeps us stuck, why it feels like an obsession, and her top tips for beginning to question and heal these tendencies. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/ocd-jill-freestone

155. Keep It Simple – Learn and Move On
There are six milestones I cover in the Overcome Pornography for Good program. The first thing I have my clients work on is Learn and Move On, where we work on avoiding all-or-nothing thinking and turn your slip-ups into stepping stones to successfully quitting porn. Tune in this week to learn how to keep it simple when you’re quitting pornography. I’m showing you why you don’t need to give up every time you slip up, and you can use every challenge you encounter as an opportunity to Learn and Move On. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/learn-and-move-on

154. Year in Review: A Simple Exercise for Visualizing 2024
We are on the cusp of the New Year, which for many people often means thinking about all the changes we want to make and the new habits we want to create. We tend to focus on the negatives, but I’m proposing that we need to pay just as much attention, if not more, to all the wins you’ve experienced. Join me this week as I take you through my Year in Review exercise and explain why this is going to set you up with the right energy as you enter 2024. Hear the value of acknowledging all your wins so far and imagining 2024 ahead of time, and questions that will guide you along this visualization process. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/year-review-visualizing-2024

153. Ask a Coach: Why You’re Stuck
“I’m feeling stuck, what do I do?” The thought, “I’m stuck,” is one all of us indulge in when the path ahead feels uncertain and unknown, but the truth is you’re not stuck and Coach Kat is here to show you why. Listen in this week to discover why we default to saying we’re stuck even when we’re not, what it actually means to feel stuck, and Coach Kat’s top tips for getting unstuck no matter what you’re navigating right now. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/why-youre-stuck

152. Ask a Coach: When You Slip Up
This week’s Ask a Coach is from someone who found that if they view pornography early in the day, they don’t bother trying to avoid pornography until they get a fresh start the next day. This is common when people are trying to quit porn, it’s a product of all-or-nothing thinking, and it isn’t helping you find peace and ease in quitting porn. Tune in this week to discover how to make sure a slip-up doesn’t ruin your day. I’m discussing how to measure your progress on your journey of quitting pornography, and showing you why slipping up isn’t a problem. Learn how to keep making progress toward your goal of quitting porn even if you’ve slipped up in the morning. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/slip-up

151. Ask a Coach: Good Shame vs Bad Shame
Is all shame bad? This is the premise of this week’s Ask a Coach question. The truth is, it all comes down to semantics, and my answer is both yes and no. Hear my thoughts on why no emotion is inherently bad, how emotions can be either helpful or unhelpful, and how to identify whether the shame you’re experiencing is serving you. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/good-shame-vs-bad-shame

150. Ask a Coach: The Reality of Learning New Skills
"Does learning to process your urge to view porn feel so overwhelming that everything else in your life falls by the wayside?" This is the question Coach Tina is addressing on this week’s Ask a Coach episode. Hear how to balance the skill of processing urges with the other goals you’ve set for yourself. Coach Tina is offering what could be happening if learning to process your urges feels overwhelming, and how to take care of yourself so it doesn’t feel like everything is slipping out of your grasp. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/reality-learning-new-skills

149. Ask a Coach: 5 Areas of Self-Care to Focus On
“Do you have any tips on not getting fed up or burnt out from all the urge processing?” If you also feel completely tired and overwhelmed, or find yourself falling into resistance rather than allowing your urges to view porn, listen in to hear Jessica’s answers. Hear why the practice of processing the urge to view porn might be resulting in extreme tiredness and overwhelm, how self-care makes processing urges easier, and Jessica’s insights on five areas of self-care you must prioritize in your day-to-day. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/ask-a-coach-self-care

148. Ask a Coach: All Emotions Have a Shelf Life
Do you feel more antsy in your physical body as you view less porn? Maybe you can’t stop bouncing your legs or find yourself constantly fidgeting, and maybe it’s leading to a strong urge to view porn so you can stop feeling so antsy. Join Jessica on this episode to hear her top tips for processing uncomfortable emotions, how all emotions have a shelf life, and the power of letting any emotion be present until it eventually dissipates. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/emotions-have-shelf-life

147. Ask a Coach: Rewriting Your Stories
The question this week goes, “I feel like I’m in a bit of a rut. I got carried away with studying during post-grad, and I’m either slipping up or studying 24/7. How can I get back on track with processing urges?” Join coach Kat on this episode to hear why you have to examine the stories you’re currently telling yourself, her suggestions for beginning to rewrite your stories, and her top tips for going on a treasure hunt for new thoughts that serve you on your journey of quitting porn. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/rewriting-your-stories

146. Ask a Coach: Thinking New Thoughts You Don’t Believe Yet
This week’s Ask a Coach question comes from someone who requested feedback on an intentional model. They put this model together to begin thinking new thoughts about their path to freedom from porn but have yet to fully believe in it. Listen in this week to hear the model that was submitted for this question, understand why the question asker feels more trapped than free in the process of thinking new thoughts about their porn habit, and Coach Tina’s answers. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/thinking-new-thoughts

145. Ask a Coach: Your Compelling Reason
This week's question comes from someone who had a question in the commitment milestone worksheet about finding their compelling reason for wanting to quit porn. This person isn't convinced that their compelling reason is strong enough, and Tina is offering her thoughts. Tune in today to hear why finding your compelling reason for quitting porn is essential, what happens when you use unhelpful emotions to drive your actions, and how to find your own compelling reason for why you might want to quit porn for good. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/compelling-reason

144. Ask a Coach: Shame vs Guilt
Overcome Pornography for Good coach Jessica Farmer is here to answer this week’s Ask a Coach question! Here's the question she's offering her thoughts on today: “I watched porn after being clean for six months. I feel a bit disappointed and shameful on one hand, but also feel guilty for not feeling guilty enough. Do you have any thoughts on what it looks like for me to come back from this?” Join Jessica on this episode as she walks you through how to investigate what “feeling guilty enough” means to you, why it’s always worth challenging your brain on anything it offers, especially if it’s unhelpful, and the difference between the emotions of shame and guilt. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/shame-vs-guilt