Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

We are asked very often how parents can create an environment in the home that will keep their kids close to the faith. To help give parents even more resources for this, we decided to interview Colin and Aimee MacIver, who are both parents, teachers, and authors for Ascension Press. They have created resources for parents to help them catechize their children and also to communicate the beautiful truths found in the Theology of the Body. Both Colin and Aimee are kindred spirits who have a heart for teens and their parents. They bring a wealth of experience and wisdom that we think you will benefit from! Also, we discuss our upcoming free webinar and paid Family Board Meeting workshop designed to help parents create a game plan for their family as we begin 2021. Listen in! *** Find out more about our February weekend workshop on the Family Board Meeting: https://messyfamilyhood.com/family-board-meeting-registration/ Resources from Colin and Aimee: - The Catechist's Field Guide to Confirmation, by Colin MacIver - https://ascensionpress.com/products/the-catechists-field-guide-to-confirmation - Theology of the Body for Teens, Middle School Edition, Colin & Aimee MacIver, contributors - https://ascensionpress.com/products/theology-of-the-body-for-teens-middle-school-edition-student-pack-includes-online-course-access - Baptism: Belonging in the Family of God, Parent's Guide, Colin & Aimee MacIver, authors - https://ascensionpress.com/products/belonging-parents-guide-1 - Quick Catholic Lessons with Fr. Mike Schmitz - https://ascensionpress.com/collections/quick-catholic-lessons-with-fr-mike-vol-2

There are many parents who look for advice from friends, and sometimes the responses are in the form of absolute declarations about the "only way" to parent. In reality, many parenting matters are best left to an individual's judgment. As Catholics, we believe that there are certain issues that are black and white, but not everything falls into that category! The first step to responding to others with charity is to realize that our way is not always the way for everyone. In this episode, we also take on a question about discipline when you have 3 under 3, which gives us the chance to talk about toddlers - one of our favorite topics! And we play a recording of a question sent in by a listener about mentoring teen boys whose brains are being flooded with testosterone. Our answer? Look to the elephants. No, really, we do say that. Listen in and join the conversation! **Sign up for the free webinar on the Family Board Meeting: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/family-board-meeting-2021/ For More: Elephants and Dads- https://www.fatherhood.org/fatherhood/humans-and-elephants-both-fare-better-with-dads-around Catholic Differences- https://reginadoman.blogspot.com/2020/12/my-family-church-church-as-big-rowdy.html Discipling and Disciplining Our Teenagers- https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/mp-064-discipling-and-disciplining-our-teenagers-pt-1/ Guide to Discipline- https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/discipline-guide/

If you've been wondering how to bring the rich traditions of the Catholic Church's liturgical year into your home and into your family, this is the podcast for you! In it, we interview Kendra Tierney of Catholic All Year about incorporating the richness of our faith into the life of your family. Kendra has lots of great ideas for moms and dads of all ages and family sizes. After discussing the importance of incorporating Catholic traditions into family life we talk about what to do with kids of various ages, or when you have a spouse who is not enthusiastic about new traditions. Kendra has some truly great wisdom to share! Because this was an interview with our member site (the messy family neighborhood), we also have some great questions from other parents included in this podcast. Listen in and get inspired to strengthen your family's culture this Advent and Christmas season. Referenced: Maidens Course: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/maidens-course/ Support our ministry to families: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/give/ Board Meeting Webinar: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/join/

The use of technology is a major issue in most households. Tech is invading our homes in an unprecedented manner and the influence on our children is something we are just beginning to comprehend. How can parents effectively navigate these waters with their children? Kids need guidance in this area more than almost any other area of Life, but it is here where parents usually are completely unaware. In this essential podcast for parents we try to light a fire underneath you and show the seriousness of the tech situation with kids. We share our own experience and start giving you tips and tricks to guide your children on their tech use. Referenced: Maidens Course: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/maidens-course/ Support our ministry to families: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/give/

Many times when we think about taking time to pray parents' first reaction is "I don't have time to pray!" But the problem with that is that prayer is the foundation of our life of faith and relationship with God. As we pray, we grow in knowledge and love of God. We all need that! In this podcast, we discuss internal prayer which is also called mental prayer. The many means that the Church has given us to pray such as in our liturgy are beautiful and some are essential, but that is not all there is. We need to take time to speak to God and hear Him speak to us in the scriptures and within our hearts. How should you do this? Where can you start? Listen in as we share about our own prayer life and walk you through how we take the time to be with Our Lord. Referenced: Support the Messy Family Project: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/live-podcast-screens/ \ Join Live Podcast on Screens and Technology: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/give/

We have a treat for you as we are sharing a special date night interview with Scott and Kimberly Hahn. They have been married for 40 years and have six children along with eighteen grandchildren. They are world-renowned Catholic evangelists, speakers, authors and teachers. In this show they share their wisdom on falling in love and staying in love through the tough times. They share some of their struggles and not always being on the same page with great encouragement and direction for couples. They also share some of the challenges in parenting and how to effectively pass on the faith to our children. You won't want to miss this episode and you may want to take notes. We also had a follow-up handout if you would like to use this show as a conversation starter for you and your spouse. Referenced in this episode: Handout for this special date night: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/date-night-with-hahns/ Subscribe to our newsletter: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/join/ St. Paul Center: https://stpaulcenter.com/ Kimberly's new podcast: https://www.belovedandblessed.com/

After 26 years of parenting you would think that we knew how to promote an atmosphere of virtue in our home automatically. But it doesn't work that way! We have had to stop and evaluate the way that our younger children have been treating each other and address it intentionally. In this podcast, we share some of the teaching we gave to our kids about practicing kindness, how we followed up afterwards, and why its important to train the actions AND the hearts of our children. Listen in to hear our Seven Tips on Kids and Kindness at home as well as Mike's reflections on his recent hike on the Appalachian Trail, update on our fabulously successful Date Night with the Hahns, upcoming events, and how to promote our podcast. Referenced: Catholic moms summit register: https://www.cardinalstudios.org/a/34145/eFUzDCVz Marriage summit access if desired: https://www.joyfuleverafter.org/a/27520/xSMEEApS Scott and Kimberly Hahn interview: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/date-night-with-hahns/

The sexual relationship you have with your spouse is the most intimate relationship you will ever have, but it certainly can be complicated! In this podcast, we have a conversation with Byron and Francine Pirola, founders of Smartloving and international speakers and teachers. Our conversation about physical intimacy between spouses is honest, frank, and explicit, so please listen to this podcast in privacy. But we do believe this information is desperately needed by couples, so we have created a summary and download for you to use after listening to the podcast to create a conversation with your spouse. Please listen in, use this topic as a conversation starter with your spouse, and share with others! Referenced: Free Conversation Starter on Sexual Intimacy: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/physical-intimacy/ Webinar with Byron and Francine Pirola: https://smartloving.org/webinars/ Sign up for our virtual date night with Scott & Kimberly Hahn: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/date-night-with-hahns/

All parents will fail. How do we know this? Because we are all imperfect! Many parents feel like failures when grieving over their children's poor decisions or loss of faith. Or they look at themselves in the mirror and don't like who they have become. How we define failure and how we deal with it will either paralyze us or call us on to greater holiness and virtue. Recognizing how we have failed our children, and even how our own parents have failed us, is how we learn and grow. In this podcast we define the difference between shame and guilt (one is good and the other bad!), the importance of recognizing what we can control and what we cannot, and the centrality of forgiveness in our relationships with our children, no matter what their age. In addition to some hard truths, this podcast gives hope to every parent who wants to improve themselves through extreme ownership and humility. Referenced: Virtual date night with Scott and Kimberly Hahn in October https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/date-night-with-hahns/ Covenant Eyes to protect your family - https://covenanteyes.sjv.io/MFP Catholic Answers article: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/parents-and-the-law-of-love/ Sign up for one minute weekly encouragement: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/sign-up-for-minutes/

This past summer our family lost a beloved uncle, brother-in-law, and husband. Alicia's uncle passed into eternity at home with his wife, and Alicia and her sister Maria were privileged to be present for his death. Death is a profound experience and one that we should all think about more. Many of us are afraid to confront the thought of death though it is (obviously!) a part of everyone's life. Our culture influences us more than we realize and we can get lulled into thinking this world is all there is. But this world is not our home! In this podcast, we share the story of walking with them through this difficult experience, but also we share our reflections and the lessons that we have learned from them. Referenced: Virtual date night with Scott and Kimberly Hahn https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/date-night-with-hahns/ MP 022 : Dealing with Loss https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/mp-022-dealing-with-loss/ Catholic Mom's Summit https://www.cardinalstudios.org/a/34145/eFUzDCVz

In this podcast we continue to answer some very important listener questions about family life. Many listeners have spouses who don't share their faith life and forging unity when that is the case can be tricky. We came up with some creative ideas on how to love your spouse more! Other questions included disciplining pre-teens and teens and as well as forming their hearts. Our Discipline Guide is a good place to start for this, but we expand on some of the ideas found there and apply them to our Questioner's specific situation. If you find our answers helpful, share the podcast, subscribe, and tell others about us. And certainly feel free to send us more of YOUR questions as well! Referenced: Join our email list to hear about the virtual date night https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/join/ Messy Family Guide to Discipline - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/discipline-guide/ MFP 131 : The Power of "NO" - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/mfp-131-the-power-of-no/ MP 067 : Evangelizing Your Kids - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/mp-67-evangelizing-your-kids/

Listeners send us questions all the time and we try to answer them as best we can via email. Some of these questions are really great because they bring up subjects that many people struggle with. In this podcast we tackle some questions about in-laws, and we answer from the perspective of a married couple but also from being a mother and father-in-law ourselves! We also give our advice on navigating the minefield of politics as well as social media. Though we have a podcast on preparing tweens for adolescence, we answer a question about that as well. Listen in and if you have more questions, email us. Maybe you'll be featured on the next episode of listener questions! Referenced: Join our email list to hear about the virtual date night https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/join/ MP 005 : Preparing your Tween (and yourself!) for Adolescence https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/mp-005-preparing-your-tween-and-yourself-for-adolescence/ Maidens by His Design - https://amzn.to/32qpnRX Love Ed program from St. Benedict Press - https://www.saintbenedictpress.com/index.php/love-ed/

Rituals are an essential part of creating connections with other people, whether that is our spouse, our children, our extended family, our local community, and even our nation. Rituals connect how we act with what we believe - communicate values can be contrasted with "routines" that create order and address merely physical needs. Both are important but on different levels. When routines are disrupted, its a hassle. When rituals are disrupted, the family cohesiveness is threatened. When something is an obligation only with no emotional/heart connection, then the value of the ritual is lessened. Play and Pray Challenge for your family: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/challenge-complete/ Support our ministry and get the fun kit for your family: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/patron-2020/

Looking at the turmoil we are experiencing within our culture, we are becoming more and more convinced that we, Catholic families, have the answer that people are looking for. People are searching for purpose, belonging and identity. How do we "share" our family with the world? Well, first we need to make sure we have our own house in order. Examine your family culture, shore up the weak areas, and be intentional about the messages you are sending. The motivation to have a vibrant family culture is so you can take it to the next level and act in the world according to the unique giftedness that your family has been given. We are not all called to serve in the same way -- we are all different! When every family discovers their unique giftedness and then uses those gifts to respond to the call that God has put upon their hearts, God can establish His reign in the world. Listen in to get motivated and learn how to discern the call that God has given to you. Podcast references: Build Your Family Culture, Elements of a Family Culture, Growing a Family Culture Download Play and Pray Challenge Sticker and Mass for your family: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/challenge-complete/ Support our ministry and get the fun kit for your family: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/give/

Many of us are looking at the events of these days with despair, sadness, and even anger. It is hard to witness division and hatred in our world and to see the suffering of those who are caught in its crossfire. We want to respond but many of us don't know how to. This is such a huge problem with far-reaching consequences and deeply rooted origins. Parents, do not allow the devil to use that which is far off to distract you from what is near! The greatest influence you can have is within your own home. Parents need to proactively discuss these issues with their children in order to form them. This is YOUR job and no one else's. Listen in as we share our own experience and give tips on how to address these topics with your children. Get free Play and Pray Challenge kit: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/challenge/ Become a Member: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/membership/

The Play and Pray Challenge is a way for us to spread the kingdom of Jesus Christ into every home in a fun, interactive way. We have learned that if you are going to PRAY with your family, you need to PLAY with them! This June from the 12th to the 21st, we are challenging families to do three things: Organize and execute an amazing FAMILY DAY, plan and go on a DATE NIGHT, and proclaim Jesus Christ as the KING OF THE HOME by placing the image of the Sacred Heart in their house and "enthroning" Him as King. We want to make this a fun and rewarding experience for families, so we have created some resources to help you out. Go to our website messyfamilyproject.org/challenge to get our Play and Pray Challenge Kit. We want this challenge to go viral, so spread the word to get other families to do it too! Watch the video and sign up for the Play and Pray Challenge: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/challenge/ Join the waiting list for new member site: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/membership/ Related podcast episode: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/mp-091-king-home/

Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. When we trust our spouse we can stand before them, just as we are, knowing that we will be accepted. Full knowledge with full acceptance. That's the goal, but the road to building trust is not easy for most of us, because we are sinful people dealing with our own shame. As we work on our relationship with our spouse and with the Lord, we are creating a bond that helps us work together as a team and rest in the knowledge that He will be with us no matter what happens. The reason I know "everything is going to be ok" is because I trust that God is in control. Join messy family member waiting list: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/membership/

One "yes" is protected by a thousand "no"s. If we want our children to have the ability to say "yes", to be responsible, free and, ultimately, loving people, parents need to believe in the power of NO. When a parent says "no" and defines a boundary for a child, they are helping that child to shape who they are. Boundaries enable children to "construct" themselves. This is hard work for parents, usually because we don't recognize what good boundaries are, and sometimes simply because we are lazy! In this podcast, we talk about the book Boundaries for Kids by Drs. John Townsend and Henry Cloud, and share some of our own experiences in defining boundaries for ourselves and our children. Links: Virtual Date Night RSVP Discipline Guide Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud Visit us at http://www.messyfamilyproject.org

The Church has always made it clear that parents are the primary educators of their children and chiefly responsible for their family's spiritual formation. So what is our advice to you? First, don't worry if your kid fails this quarter in school and, second, turn off streaming mass and start leading your family in prayer. Be empowered to lead your family and focus on what YOU think is important during these challenging times. In this podcast, we share some of the ways our family is bonding this month, and we give inspiration and ideas on how to lead your family. God has given you the grace. Family, become what you are! Virtual Catholic Conference: https://aliciahernon.krtra.com/t/AMa71LKg02oQ Guide for Holy Week through Easter for your family: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/celebrate-palm-sunday-to-easter/

Does this sound like you? We won't lie - all of the sudden being forced to be with all of our children 24/7 is not easy. We are struggling just like everyone else! But instead of asking God "why?" we need to ask "what?". What do you want to teach us, Lord? What do you want us to do? What do you want to show us? We have said many times that parents are the first teachers of their children and leaders of their families. Today we see that more clearly than ever! This crisis is giving us the opportunity to rid ourselves of all the extraneous activities that normally distract us and allowing us to focus on our children. Listen in as we give some valuable ideas, encouragement, and inspiration for this time or any time of crisis. "We know certainly that our God calls us to a holy life. We know that he gives us every grace, every abundant grace; and though we are so weak of ourselves, this grace is able to carry us through every obstacle and difficulty." ~ St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Advice and strategies for families in these challenging times, especially how to celebrate Sunday when there is no mass… sign up at https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/join/

Men and women approach sex from two very different standpoints. This can create tension in your marriage. Nevertheless, sex is a topic that married couples need to talk about. In this podcast you can expect honesty, humor, and above all some great insight to help you have a more satisfying, fulfilling sex life with your spouse. Listen in and discover how you can be more open with your spouse, because this is an important way to strengthen your relationship. Get the kids out of earshot, or put in your earbuds and listen in. Moms and Dads, this one is for your ears only. Marriage Check In (3 weeks to greater unity): https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/marriage/ We're expanding - job descriptions: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/were-expanding/ Upcoming Events: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/speaking/events/

This Lent and Easter why not walk on the path of holiness that God has laid out for you already? We are proposing that couples intentionally embrace their calling as parents and spouses. Since we are called to love and sacrifice first within their own homes, we designed a simple program called Cana90 to challenge families to become more of who God is calling them to be – communities of life and love. We will help you choose commitments of prayer, fasting, and mercy that turn your heart towards your family. What would Lent and Easter look like if we leaned into our vocation even more. Let us begin again and seek transformation through prayer, fasting, and mercy for our marriages and our families. Sign up for the Cana90 program: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/cana90/

Each of us has a story and we are part of a story. We are part of the story of the human race, of the Church, of our country, and most importantly, you are part of the story of your own family. In our modern world we tend to forget this! We also need to be aware that when we engage with our story in a healthy way and then we share that story with our children, we empower them. When parents are at peace with the story of their own lives, they can share their experiences with their children and teach them using their own examples. We can give our children hope through the witness of our own lives. Sign up for Cana90 at https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/cana90/ Other links and resources referenced see: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/mfp-126-sharing-your-story/

Our culture all around us is throwing tough issues into our lives and the lives of our children all the time. We are dealing today with topics that our most of our grandparents never had to confront, let alone explain to a child. To guide our children in the way of truth, we must first understand the truth ourselves. Then, before we communicate, we need to recognize that children have specific stages of moral development. We as parents need to realize this so we can "feed" them information appropriately and in a way that children can digest and use correctly. In this podcast we group "tough topics" into categories and then give our take on how to explain these to children. Get your free book by sharing your experience of handling tough topics with your kids: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/tough-topics-with-your-kids/ If you're interested in buying and finding out more about this great resource, visit MadeThisWayBook.com

For some couples, praying together is very natural but for others, it feels awkward or forced. (You'll have to listen in to hear our experience!). The reality is that there are many different ways to pray with our spouse and every couple is unique! In this podcast, we discuss how you can engage in speaking to your Heavenly Father as a couple, bound together with Him in a covenant of love. Each type of prayer is important - blessing, intercession, plea for guidance, communal prayer, and repentance. Growing in your prayer life is an essential way to develop and deepen your relationship, but also a way for you to support your spouse and love them more profoundly. Family Board Meeting worksheet: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/family-board-meeting/ For more information and resources visit https://www.messyfamilyproject.org

We started this topic in our last podcast MFP122, but there was so much to cover we had to continue the discussion! In this podcast, we discuss the different ways boys and girls deal with aggression and why parents need to teach self-control differently to their sons and daughters. Navigating friendships is another way in which parents need to understand gender differences. Don't have the same expectations of peaceful play for your sons and daughters - they each have their own challenges! And as kids get older and become adults the process of independence looks very different for moms than it is for dads. All of this is good for parents to realize so they can appreciate the gifts of their children and their amazing uniqueness found in their personality, temperament, and gender. For more information and resources visit https://www.messyfamilyprojetc.org Dr. Leonard Sax's book: https://amzn.to/2OkCn5G

In a culture that is proclaiming gender as "fluid" and is encouraging "gender-neutral" parenting, we proudly stand and say boys and girls are defined and different. Wonderfully different. And did you know those physical variations extend beyond simply the obvious? Boys and girls have distinct wiring in the brain, eye structure, and hearing acuity. Boys overestimate their abilities, and girls underestimate them. Boys feel just as deeply as girls, though they are less verbal. The distinctions are many and sometimes subtle. What does this deeper understanding mean for parents? The more parents realize how their sons and daughters are uniquely made, the better they will be able to understand and guide them to further maturity. In this podcast we draw from the research of Dr. Leonard Sax in his book Why Gender Matters, which we highly recommend. There is so much ground to cover we split this into 2 podcasts! Part 2 coming next week. Advent Kit for Families: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/give/ Tampa Event: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/tampa-february-15/ Dr. Leonard Sax's book: https://amzn.to/2OkCn5G

The power of a name, the importance of memory, the responsibility to heal the world, the reality that God dwells with us - all of these are lessons that we as Catholics can learn from the Jewish people. At the end of October 2019, we had the privilege of being guests of the Foundation Stone Institute who hosted us for a trip to Israel and the holy sites there. We had a powerful experience visiting the places where Jesus lived, worked, preached and healed. The trip gave us a deeper understanding of our Catholic faith, but also of the Jewish people, our "elder brethren". There were many insights that we had and lessons learned, but in this podcast, we decided to limit ourselves to four things that we walked with that we think families can benefit from. These values have been held by the Jewish people for centuries and we can and should learn from them. Support this show and ministry at https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/give/

Every parent wants their children to be happy, but it seems children today are more unhappy than ever before! Part of the problem stems from the expectations and pressure on our kids and part of the problem is that most of us don't recognize the path to happiness ourselves. Dennis Prager states, "Happiness is a moral obligation." We all need to realize that happiness is a choice, not something that just happens. We need to teach our children that happiness is under their control, show them the choices that lead to happiness, and then form them with the self-discipline needed to make those choices. We can't force our children to be happy, but we can give them the guidance and tools they need to choose it for themselves. Find out more about our mission and vision for the future: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/join/

There are few bigger changes in life than going from having no children to having children. After that the next biggest life change is every child that comes after! Moms and dads who have newborns need the support of family and friends in a particular way as they make these transitions. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, sisters, and even brothers can all listen to this podcast to learn about how they can support new parents at this critical time. It's good for parents to know that it is important to be honest about the feelings they are having because sometimes expectations do not reflect reality. Being open to life is not easy but it can bring you more joy than anything you've ever done. It can also bring more unity and strength to your marriage if you keep lines of communication open and if you are willing to be vulnerable. To contact us, and for more information and resources visit us at https://www.messyfamilyproject.org Event Info: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/speaking/events/

We believe there is a conspiracy afoot in the world against marriage and family life, but it is not a conspiracy of earthly powers; it is a spiritual one. Parents, by raising a family you have entered into this battle, so you need to keep your eyes open and take spiritual authority within your home and within your own life. In this podcast we discuss things like how the Evil One tries to deceive us, how we can give him footholds in our lives, and how we should respond to his attacks. By freeing yourself up to love, living in the light, and taking authority in our own lives we can live a life spiritual freedom, allowing nothing to hold us back. Remember, Christ the Victor has come to bring us life and it is by His grace and in His name that we shall overcome. Show links and more info can be found at: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/mfp118-know-your-enemy-spiritual-warfare-for-parents

There are different types of love, but the love that is exclusive, belonging to husbands and wives is eros, a passionate, romantic love which is an essential part of any marriage. As parents we are concerned with so many things - keeping our families financially afloat, the many needs of the children, feeding and clothing everyone - it is easy to neglect to fan the flame of romance between you and your spouse. In this podcast we give you some encouragement and practical ideas for ways wives can pursue their husbands and how husbands can pursue their wives. We talk about WHY this is important and HOW you can do it better than you are today. Take Our Listener Survey - https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/MFP2019-podcastsurvey The Four Loves by CS Lewis - https://amzn.to/2LncWyW Love Languages episode - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/mp-015-love-languages/ Messy Family Minute Weekly Email - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/sign-up-for-minutes/

St. Francis would tell his followers "Let us begin again for until now we have done nothing." This is a great inspiration for us because sometimes we feel like we are always beginning again with new habits, plans, and goals for our family. We are the most consistently inconsistent parents out there! But we have become less stressed out about our inconsistency because we see that it is an opportunity to begin again with our children. It is hard to create habits in ourselves, let alone a group of children! But habits are an important part of formation, as the quote above from Stephen Covey shows. Since we have made so many plans with our family, we would like to share with you some of what we have learned in creating habits for your family. In this podcast we discuss questions such as how do you create appropriate habits for your family? How do you come up with a plan with your spouse? How do you keep those kids motivated? 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families: https://amzn.to/2Zj05l1 The 3 Big Questions for a Frantic Family: https://amzn.to/2ZgndRj Amazing Camp for Teens: https://cysc.com/ Special weekend in Tampa for couples in February 2020… interested in hearing more? https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/tampa-february-15/

Our society not only devalues mothers, but also underestimates their importance in the life of a newborn child. Some biologists believe that humans are born too soon because so much formation happens in the first years of life outside the womb. The essential element in this formation is the mother. No matter how much time a mother spends with her child vs. being in the workplace, the quality of her relationship with her infant is what makes the difference. In this podcast, we use the book Being There: The Importance of the First Three Years by Erica Komisak as a reference for parents seeking to do all they can to develop a healthy, securely attached, independent child. Buy this book : https://amzn.to/318grhz Get our messy family newsletter: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/join/ Family Retreat Kit: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/family-retreat-2019-3/ Related shows Every Mother is a Working Mother - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/mp-046-every-mother-is-a-working-mother/ High Powered Parents - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/mp-092-high-powered-parents/

Social fragmentation, the break down of the family, isolation, and stress has wounded and broken many of us. Families need to be honest about their need for professional help - honest with themselves and with those around them. It is a sign of strength to admit weakness! Plus, there are burdens that parents simply cannot carry alone. Marriage counselors, child therapists, 12 Step groups, doctors, and support groups are all resources that families can and should take advantage of in order to function in a healthy, holy way. Counseling can offer hope, healing, and a path forward. Listen in as we discuss some of the challenges and obstacles, what to look for in a counselor as well as a note on therapy for children. Dr. Aaron Kheriaty's A Catholic Guide to Depression - https://amzn.to/2XAWqmF Mike interview with Dr. Kheriaty for EWTN: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SIWlQ0ZUqY Article on choosing a good therapist - https://www.catholiccounselors.com/choosing-a-therapist-a-guide-for-catholics/

Parenting is a path to holiness, that is clear. Part of this growth in your holiness is taking on the responsibility for the formation of your children. It's hard to form people! But it is a job for unselfish, dedicated parents and no one can do it better than you can! In this podcast, we discuss principles that are important to keep in mind as we form our children. Ideas such as your children are not the center of your family, but part of a community; that you need to teach your children to give themselves away; that trust is earned and love requires boundaries. We pick a few other rules that we have found to be important in our parenting to pass on to you. Along with parenting philosophy will come some very practical insights also that will help you form your children and bring peace to your household. Family Retreat Kit and Videos: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/family-retreat-2019-3/ Related Episodes and Blog Post: The Irreplaceable Role of Parents (episode): https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/mp-079-the-irreplaceable-role-of-parents/ The Irreplaceable Role of Parents (blog post): https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/the-irreplaceable-role-of-parents/ Growing a Family Culture: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/mp-096-building-a-family-culture-part-1/

During our tour of Australia, we had the opportunity to meet many listeners and make some amazing new friends. One of our events was a day seminar for engaged and newly married couples with an Australian ministry - The Marriage Project. During the day, we had a time to take questions from the audience and we loved it! It was great to experience firsthand the desire that these couples had for intentional, authentic relationships with each other and with their greater community. We answered questions about blending families, challenge of children and marriage, discerning family size, and even our most important piece of advice to a newly married couple (that one was hard!). We hope you enjoy hearing us interacting with our listeners and hearing us really think on our feet! Catholic Family Fests: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/speaking/events/catholic-family-vacation/ Summer Family Retreat Box: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/summer-family-retreat-box/

"The family is indeed more than any other social reality, the place where an individual can exist 'for himself' through the sincere gift of self...it is the 'sanctuary of life'" ~ St. John Paul II, Letter to Families, #11 This episode is our first LIVE podcast, recorded during our Australian Tour in May 2019. During this tour, we presented a seminar sponsored by our good friends (Australians, read "mates!" ) at the Marriage Project. In this talk we examined the question "What is the nature of family?" Society cannot define was this nature is, because society did not give family its nature. Family has a given meaning all its own. According to St. John Paul II, a family is a community of life whose mission it is to guard, reveal and communicate love. It is a man and woman bound together in a life long commitment whose love is fruitful. Therefore, our understanding of marriage must be seen within the context of family, since not only do we all come from a family, but we are made for family. Survey about future membership site: https://messyfamilypro.wpengine.com/membership/ Join our newsletter (don't miss out):https://messyfamilyproject.org/contact-us-legacy/subscribe

"Are you the adult you want your child to become?" ~ Dr. Brene Brown High emotions and the advent of adolescence seem to go hand in hand. Instead of getting caught up into our children's emotion and the drama that may ensue, parents need to truly be "the adult in the room" and be an example of how to deal with strong feelings in a appropriate way. To do this, we parents need to be self-aware and conscious of our own woundedness and need for healing. Only then can we be an example to our children and a source of hope sending the message that they CAN overcome. We need to empathize with our child and empower them to master their emotions while using their intellect and will to act, thus integrating all their faculties to act virtuously. It's hard for parents to teach pre-teens and teens how to handle drama, but this is the job of hard-working, devoted parents! Survey about future membership site: https://messyfamilyproject.org/community Join our newsletter (don't miss out):https://messyfamilyproject.org/contact-us-legacy/subscribe Cana 90 meditations (Lent & Easter seasons):https://messyfamilyproject.org/cana90 Schedule for MFP events in Australia: https://www.facebook.com/757182281305801/posts/845469395810422?sfns=mo Additional resources for this episode: Dr. Brene Brown on empathy https://youtu.be/1Evwgu369Jw More from Brene Brown Daring Greatly https://amzn.to/2XRd2C8 and Power of Vulnerability https://amzn.to/2WgmlLI Teaching Your Child Self-control:https://messyfamilyproject.org/collections/podcast/mp-090-teaching-your-children-self-control Raising Confident Kids Who Aren't Full of Themselves: https://messyfamilyproject.org/collections/podcast/mp-043-raising-confident-kids-who-aren-t-full-of-themselves Discipling and Disciplining Our Teenagers: https://messyfamilyproject.org/collections/podcast/mp-064-discipling-and-disciplining-our-teenagers-part-1

Have you ever felt like your world was going up in smoke? Listen in as we explain this dramatic story of our car fire, where no injuries occurred or lives lost, but the disaster was complete. Though the loss was great, God's faithfulness and providence was even greater. We felt it was not a coincidence that this happened during the season of Lent because we are able to see the themes of fasting through detachment from goods, mercy that was shown to us, and the prayer that protected us and our children. No matter how Satan plans our demise, God can always have the victory. Video and article: https://messyfamilyproject.org/resources/video-lent-and-how-we-narrowly-escaped-a-car-fire-aleteia Join our newsletter (don't miss out): https://messyfamilyproject.org/contact/subscribe Cana 90 meditations: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/tag/cana90/

"The world offers you comfort, but you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness." ~ Pope Benedict XVI Men today can't do anything right. The world has taken the idea of masculinity and distorted it to the point that it is barely recognizable from the ideal man celebrated one hundred years ago. As dynamic Catholics living in this time, we want to celebrate men and encourage them to reclaim their true identity and realize who God created them to be - fully using their gifts and masculine qualities to serve others. In this podcast, we use the apostolic letter "Into the Breach" written by Bishop Olmsted of Phoenix, AZ to put forward and answer three questions - What does it mean to be a Catholic man? How do men love? And why is fatherhood so crucial? Referenced in this episode: The Apostolic Exhortation: Into the Breach Wild at Heart: Abba's Heart: Check out past posts for Cana 90

"Prayer knocks at the door, fasting obtains, mercy receives." ~St. Peter Chrysologus We have a very exciting program to share with you all in this podcast that we are doing for Lent. We know that we want to bring our wills and our hearts closer to God, but how do we make sacrifices and offer up our wills as a married couple? What do sacrifices in Lent look like when you are raising children and are already laying down your life and your body for them? Our beautiful faith provides the answer for us. Offer up our prayers and fasting to subdue our wills and then show mercy first to those closest to us, our spouse and children. Allow all the "built in" sacrifices that we do NOT choose during the day to become an offering pleasing to God. Do it all under the authority of your spouse, who you also have authority over. Listen to this podcast and sign up for more ideas, structure, and accountability in Cana 90! Sign up for the Cana 90 program: https://messyfamilyproject.org/cana90

"Wash the cup not because it is dirty, or because you are told to, but because you love the person who will use it after you ~St. Teresa of Calcutta Very frequently people will email or write to us asking for our organization secrets, tips, or techniques. Our secret is.. We don't really have one. We do have principles and a philosophy that we live by, but the perfect system of organization for our home still eludes us. But, what we can give you is an overall view of how we make decisions and communicate with our children on making our home run so children are clothed, fed, and get where they need to go (for the most part!). Doing chores and managing schedules takes up much of our time as a family, but in the context of family culture, that is actually not the most important part of your family. Family operations needs to be seen in the context of your WHOLE family life and parents need to make sure the rest of the family culture is not neglected because so much energy is spent on our physical needs. Listen to the podcast, and then take a look as some of the resources that go with this podcast on our website. Also we have more practical tips listed on a blog post (Tips on Chores). Great Products and Resources: Please use these links as the ministry gets a small commission if you sign up the free app or purchase any of books or products. We love and use these: We have just switched over to Cozi for the family chores, calendar, and shopping list. Very impressed so far. Cozi is the #1 family organizing app. Create a free Cozi account and you'll also get the 2018 Summer Planner Printables! Alicia loves Norwex for cleaning everything in our house. Norwex - the power to clean without harsh chemicals. This books was so helpful in our household management - Don Aslett's Make Your House do the Housework Also we have used this to help keep the Hernon army well fed. Perhaps you should consider Once a Month Cooking Previous podcasts referenced: MP014 - Chores MP042 - Family Routine MP096 - Building a Family Culture MFP103 - Family Board Meeting

"Love is never something ready made, something merely given to man and woman, it is...a task which they are set. Love should be seen as something which never 'is' but is always only 'becoming'..." - St. John Paul II "I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship." - Brené Brown There have been times in our marriage when we felt ourselves drifting apart. Not because of any one catastrophic event, but just because we weren't working on our relationship. We were just getting by. But in a culture antithetical to marriage, just "getting by" is not enough. All Catholic couples need to work to cultivate a dynamic, vibrant relationship, strong enough to bear the demands of family life, and weather everything the world will throw at it. The reality is, we are never done working on our marriage. In this podcast, we discuss the importance of "checking in" with our spouse to see how we are doing. To do this effectively we need to practice how to listen but also practice being vulnerable. This podcast has a worksheet that you can download at our website and use as a tool to work with your spouse towards a more intentional, unified marriage. Download our three-part guide to a more united marriage at https://messyfamilyproject.org/marriage Also you will find other items we mentioned like a parish bulletin insert and how to celebrate and advocate for marriage online. It's not about the nail video- https://messyfamilyproject.org/resources/its-not-about-the-nail Today we discussed a great book called Daring Greatly by Brené Brown. If you get a copy at Amazon by clicking this link, our ministry gets a small donation. Thanks in advance!

A parenting fail is simply a lesson wrongly considered. ~ Mike and Alicia Hernon Have you ever let your emotions get the better of you? Have a discipline plan go south? Have a fun family time turn into a disaster? Yes, us too. All parents make mistakes! Even though we have a marriage and family podcast and we share advice and ideas, please don't think that we (like you!) haven't had some big "fails" ourselves! In this podcast, we share some stories of things we have done that didn't turn out the way we planned. The good news is that through these fails we have learned lessons that stay with us even today. Hopefully you will be able to see yourselves in our stories, laugh a little bit and maybe even learn something from these examples of our own messy parenting!

"A family doesn't need to be perfect; it just needs to be united." Families are busy - running from place to place with little time to look where they are going or to even form an idea of what they want their family to look like. The Family Board Meeting is a tool that couples can use to cast a vision for their family and create concrete goals that will make that vision a reality. In this podcast we discuss the importance of this time, talk about elements of a Family Board Meeting, and we give suggestions on logistics that will make it happen. Go to our website https://messyfamilyproject.org/our-resources/free to download the guide that can go along with this podcast. Creating a vision for your family and setting goals as a team is a powerful way for couples to be more intentional about building their own family culture.

"Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 19:14 Most parents realize that young children are not little adults and they have particular needs for their physical and mental well-being. We must realize that they have particular needs for their spiritual well-being as well. Parents need to learn how to tend the seed of their child's faith life and that starts with acknowledging the differences, and realizing that in many ways, the child is closer to God than we are! The beautiful thing about parenting is that as we nurture our child's faith, we will grow closer to God ourselves. We must learn from the child how to have a "child-like" faith as Jesus taught in the gospels. Listen in as we explain how the child's faith is different than ours and how we can nurture their faith in appropriate ways. Book referenced during today's show: Looking for Catechesis of the Good Shepherd in your area? Visit CGS USA

"Fathers, do not exasperate your children, instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4 More than any other topic, discipline is something listeners have asked us to address in our podcast. Our hesitation has been that this is just such a complicated topic! One that deserves much time and thought because, well… it's complicated and there are no easy answers, as much as we would like there to be. So instead of trying to cover all things regarding discipline, we decided to give some foundational beliefs in our discipline philosophy. This podcast explores 5 principles of discipline that all parents can apply to their children, not matter what the age. This podcast compliments our Guide to Discipline found on our website. Podcasts referenced - The Five Love Languages, The Irreplaceable Role of Parents, and Parenting as a Team.

Welcome to the 100th podcast! We are celebrating the public launch of our ministry with new branding, new website, and even new intro and outro music on the podcast itself! As promised, we decided to interview the people who had more influence on our parenting than anyone else, and who have taught us the most. Those people would be (drum roll, please!) our children! We hope you find both interviews entertaining and informative (though the younger kids were more entertaining than informative!). We decided that 12 people talking altogether would be too much so we first interviewed the oldest 5 children and then the youngest 5. We talk about such topics as - What are the best and worst parts of being in a big family? What life lessons have you learned from our family? How did you handle fighting with siblings growing up? What did that teach you? It was fun for us to interview the older children and hear what influenced them and made the biggest impression on them. They came up with some really great insights that we hadn't even thought of! We hope you can listen in and celebrate with us, but also gain some insight and inspiration from hearing from the Hernon Ten.

We listen to what our parents say to us because this is how we figure out who we are. – Dr. Meg Meeker The words that parents say to their children are important, but equally as important (if not more) is HOW we say those words. We have found this through our own struggles with yelling! Communication happens not only verbally, but also emotionally, so our words can be lost in the way in which we express ourselves. When we raise our voices in anger through yelling we may unintentionally be verbally assaulting our own children. In this show we talk about having a plan, getting perspective and asking for help. Stay connected and hear about the new website, Advent box, and more by signing up for our newsletter: https://messyfamilyproject.org/contact-us-legacy/subscribe