Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

"Its better to be wrong together than right alone" - Mike and Alicia There are many things that spouses need to navigate in life - finances, educational choices, work issues, in-laws - and for all of these issues there is an "X factor" that makes all the difference - UNITY. Without unity, even the most perfect of scenarios will not bring peace, but with unity there is nothing that life throws at a couple that they will not be able to handle. The question is, how do you forge that unity with each other when you have two different visions of what your family should look like? In this episode, we tackle this difficult question by encouraging couples to "push up"; to look at your life from the 50,000 foot level. Instead of starting with the details, start with the big picture. Those are the conversations that are most helpful. Listen in as we give couples some concrete questions to discuss with each other to build that unity that is absolutely essential to a flourishing marriage and family life. Find all this and more at messyfamilyproject.org Watch episode here - https://youtu.be/q365bqR8NTI

"Dream big, plan simple, act now." - Mike and Alicia Hernon Dreaming is an integral part of living a life to the fullest. But dreams that take us away from our vocation are fantasies and actually detract from living an abundant life. What is the difference and why is it important? Dreaming in the best sense is an essential skill to have. Not everyone is a natural dreamer, but we can all learn to be! In this podcast, we discuss having a Growth mindset versus a Fixed mindset and how that affects our family life. We also give some tips for how to rise above the everyday work that we do and create a vision for your family that will motivate and inspire you to grow. Watch here: https://youtu.be/Sh-X0FGePeo Find all this and more at messyfamilyproject.org

"Who we are and how we engage with the world are much stronger predictors of how our children will do than what we know about parenting." - Brene Brown The emotions of young people can be overwhelming to us, but we have to realize that they are overwhelming to them as well! How can parents help children to regulate their emotions in a healthy way? Not every emotion needs discipline, sometimes kids need understanding and empathy to assist them in learning how to move through their own feelings. In this podcast, we give some practical steps for parents to help their child to recognize, express, and get in control of their strong emotions. This is an issue that can be tough for parents, especially if they have never learned this skill themselves, but it is essential for the well-being of every child. Family Board Meeting Course - https://messyfamilyhood.com/ Find information on this and more at https://messyfamilyproject.org/ Watch episode here - https://youtu.be/ZGS5dMBEMCc

Children are really the supreme gift of marriage and contribute in the highest degree to their parents' welfare. - Gaudium et Spes, 50 Listener questions are back! We had a wonderful time visiting with listeners all over the East Coast and as we traveled we collected questions from them. Here are a few of those questions including how to emotionally handle the mess and chaos that inevitably comes with young children, getting kids to behave at mass, and family of origin issues. We also talk about bringing the Montessori philosophy into how you view your children and the importance of living with purpose. Listen in to our conversation with Katie who asks us these questions from the perspective of "every parent" who deals with these issues on a daily basis. Family Board Meeting Course - https://messyfamilyhood.com/ For more information on this and other topics visit: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/ View the episode here - https://youtu.be/ICRiQC2bftA

When we look at the lives of those who have faithfully followed Christ, we are inspired with a new reason for seeking the City that is to come and at the same time we are shown a most safe path by which… we will be able to arrive at perfect union with Christ, that is, perfect holiness. - Lumen Gentium, 50 One of our great gifts as Catholics is the "older brothers and sisters" that God has given us in the saints. There are saints for every personality, vocation, and even job type! In this episode, we interview the creators of the podcast "Saints Alive!" who tell dramatizations of the life stories of the saints. This is a great tool for parents in this digital age when we are all looking for good media to put in front of our children and into their minds. We hope this will be a valuable resource for parents looking to fill their children's minds with good and holy things! Saints Alive Podcast - https://www.saintsalivepodcast.com/episodes Family Board Meeting Course - https://messyfamilyhood.com/ For more information on this and other topics visit: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/ View the episode here - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBVi8fszH6k

Since parents have given children their life, they are bound by the most solemn obligation to educate their offspring and therefore must be recognized as the primary and principal educators. This role in education is so important that only with difficulty can it be supplied where it is lacking. ~ Pope Paul VI, Declaration of Christian Education Educating children is one of the most important and daunting tasks parents must face. For some parents who have good resources at their disposal, the choice may be easy. For other parents, the choice is agonizing - charter school, Catholic school, homeschool, or public school…. What is the best thing for my child at this time? But the needs of your child are not the only thing that you need to consider. In this episode, Mike and Alicia give parents a framework for the conversation they need to have with their spouse on educational choices for their children. There is not only one answer! Listen in to this reboot of a classic conversation on marriage and parenting. Interested in Cana90 for your parish or yourself - https://messyfamilyproject.org/cana90 Family Board Meeting Course - https://messyfamilyhood.com/ For more information on this and other topics visit: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/ View the episode here - https://youtu.be/zK3fPkNt2Oc

Children have not been given to parents as a present, but as a trust for which, if lost through their negligence, they must render an account to God. ~ St. Alphonsus Ligouri Raising teens is an art, not a science. It takes finesse, subtleties, and nuances to get it right. Children are pushing back and trying to become independent adults while they are still not yet ready for the responsibilities of adulthood. How do you slowly give them more freedom while making sure you don't give them TOO much? In this episode, we interview Bill and Tanis Merimee, parents of 9 children and founders of the ministry Marriages of Grace. Bill and Tanis have a unique perspective also because they are both musicians and have children who are particularly artistic. Teens who are artistic have special challenges and needs because they have a great gift to give the world - their art! How can parents nurture this artistic temperament while avoiding the pitfalls that can come with the godless culture that is growing in the art world. Listen in and join the conversation! Interested in Cana90 for your parish or yourself - https://messyfamilyproject.org/cana90 Moms and Dads Courses- https://messyfamilyhood.com/ For more information on this and other topics visit: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/ View the episode here - https://youtu.be/eRnjftj7r5w

Each day be conscious of your duty to be a saint. — A saint! And that doesn't mean doing strange things. It means a daily struggle in the interior life and in heroically fulfilling your duty right through to the end. ~ St. Jose Maria Escriva One of the things we teach couples all the time is that marriage and family life is your path to holiness. So the celebration of Lent and Easter should look different if you are a married person! Sacrifices and commitments that take away from your vocation should be avoided because the first step in discerning anything is to consider your state in life. This means that you and I can become holy by not just having an hour of adoration, but also by playing with our toddlers! Or taking your teen out to coffee, or having a weekly date night with your spouse. Catholics need to explore more of what it means to be a saint in our homes. Listen in to this webinar we did on the Monday before Ash Wednesday to explain our Cana90 program for couples and families. Interested in Cana90 for your parish or yourself - https://messyfamilyproject.org/cana90 Moms, Dads, and Family Board Meeting Courses- https://messyfamilyhood.com/ For more information on this and other topics visit: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/ View the episode here - https://youtu.be/9XXXCgvrRgI

"When she's in your company, your daughter tries harder to excel. When you teach her, she learns more rapidly. When you guide her, she gains confidence. If you fully understood just how profoundly you can influence your daughter's life, you would beoverwhelmed, or both." ― Dr. Meg Meeker All girls have a certain pattern of physical development that will change them into women, but these changes need to be guided, nurtured, and shaped by loving parents. The genius of womanhood is a great gift to the world and parents are the ones who help a girl realize this gift. We did this podcast to help all parents encourage the feminine qualities within their daughters. Not stereotypes, but honest, strong, and true womanhood. Listen in as we give some insights, inspiration, and practical advice. Read more on masculinity and femininity - https://messyfamilyproject.org/resources/gender-differences-taking-the-risk Interested in Cana90 for your parish or yourself - https://messyfamilyproject.org/cana90 Moms and Dads Courses- https://messyfamilyhood.com/ For more information on this and other topics visit: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/ View the episode here - https://youtu.be/Al0Wlyat9iI

Manhood isn't something that simply happens to boys as they get older. It's an achievement – something a boy accomplishes, something that can easily go awry. If we ignore the importance of this transition, and fail in our duty as parents to guide boys through it, then we will learn the hard way why traditional cultures invest this transition with so much importance. - Dr Leonard Sax In today's world we cannot assume that all boys will grow up to be masculine men. But this is the task of every parent of a boy! Parents need to recognize that boys need to be guided on the road to manhood. It doesn't just happen all by itself. To give this guidance well, parents need to first realize that boys and girls have been created with different gifts. Though a truly balanced man finds within himself both masculine and feminine qualities, parents need to start with encouraging a boy's strengths, his masculine qualities. Listen into this conversation as we discuss how parents can take an active role in encouraging masculinity in their sons. Read more on masculinity and femininity - https://messyfamilyproject.org/resources/gender-differences-taking-the-risk Interested in Cana90 for your parish or yourself - https://messyfamilyproject.org/cana90 Moms and Dads Courses- https://messyfamilyhood.com/ For more information on this and other topics visit: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/ View the episode here - https://youtu.be/yFwQIagpisg

"Creating informal rituals when you can connect emotionally is critical in a marriage" ~ John M. Gottman, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work Dating your spouse consistently is the easiest thing you can do to keep your love alive - and its fun too! We have been challenged recently to spend more time with each other and just have fun. Because our work puts us in each other's orbit all the time, it can be easy for us to think that we don't need MORE time together, but we do. Date night reminds us that our relationship must come first because it is the foundation of our family. Listen in as we give some encouragement, ideas, motivation, and inspiration to always, no matter what, date your spouse. Family Board Meeting Webinar - https://messyfamilyproject.org/our-events/date-night/2023-family-board-meeting-webinar Interested in Cana90 for your parish or yourself - https://messyfamilyproject.org/cana90 Moms and Dads Courses- https://messyfamilyhood.com/ For more information on this and other topics visit: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/ View the episode here - https://youtu.be/dAwqkXM3UMg

"Anger isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it can be." For some reason, dealing with sons and daughters can bring out anger in a person who has been mild mannered and easy going their whole life! Why is that? What we have noticed is that children do not create our weaknesses, they reveal them. It is good to understand why we react so strongly to certain situations in order to grow in virtue. In this podcast, we shed some light on the truth about anger, give some tools and ideas for handling anger, and share some of our own experiences and difficulties. If you struggle with anger you are not alone! Listen in and join the conversation. Family Board Meeting Webinar - https://messyfamilyproject.org/our-events/date-night/2023-family-board-meeting-webinar Interested in Cana90 for your parish or yourself - https://messyfamilyproject.org/cana90 Moms and Dads Courses- https://messyfamilyhood.com/ For more information on this and other topics visit: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/ View the episode here - https://youtu.be/aYv3whGxIdo

"The sacrifices our parents made to give us brothers and sisters is one of the greatest things they have done for us." - Mike and Alicia Hernon We usually talk about family life from the perspective of parents. But for this podcast, we are going to take some time to talk about what it was like growing up in a family of 6 for Mike and a family of 10 for Alicia. We didn't realize it as kids, but our parents' lives were really hard and they made a lot of sacrifices having the large families that they had. We see now that although our parents had difficulties, they were not prevented from giving us the greatest gift that they could - our brothers and sisters. Our siblings haven't blessed us just as children, but we have been able to benefit from those relationships into adulthood! Our brothers and sisters have colored in the outlines that our parents traced for us. We hope that all parents listening will realize that more than money, premier schools, or fancy clothes your children need brothers and sisters. Those relationships are riches they will have for the rest of their lives! Get your Messy Family gear - jacket, pullovers, and Yeti at : https://messyfamilyproject.org/give View the episode here https://youtu.be/3Ely0kr-Ifw

The holidays are a perfect time for families to have game nights or even game days! Games teach children invaluable lessons about strategy, logic, and skill but also about how to get along with others, what consequences mean, and how to be a good loser and a gracious winner. Taking time to invest in games for kids is a great activity for parents and you may actually have fun too! See our list of games for families below to enjoy! Support our mission and choose a great thank you gift: https://messyfamilyproject.org/give Games list mentioned: https://messyfamilyproject.org/resources/games-we-love

If curiosity is a trait that can lead to the development of healthier, deeper, and more intimate relationships, then it could be another vital feature of the life of the child. - Maggie Hernon Did this title cause you to look? Do you wonder what it is about? Is it causing you to click to listen? That is because you are curious and that is a good thing! Curiosity is something we should all be encouraging in our children and there are numerous benefits. People who are curious have better mental health, are more successful in life and relationships, and have a more highly developed sense of wonder and awe in the world. Children are born curious, and it is up to parents to encourage them through the tools we give them, the environment we provide and how we model curiosity ourselves. Listen in to find out how to help your children be curious about the world and themselves and why this is an essential skill. https://messyfamilyproject.org/

"When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things—not the great occasions—give off the greatest glow of happiness." - Bob Hope The holidays are an important "memory making time" for children because these are the years in which their impressions are sometimes bigger than life, bigger than reality! Parents need to be very intentional about the messages that they are sending to their children through the way that they spend their time, energy, and money. In this podcast we take some time to review the importance of family culture for the formation of identity, belonging and mission. But then we get into the practical side of the holidays and give some tips and tricks that all parents can benefit from! Listen in!

"Money touches every aspect of our lives and colors our interactions with others. If we don't get our relationship with money right, our relationships with others hardly stand a chance." ~ Jonathan and Amanda Teixeira Boy do we have a treat for you! One area in which we have always been hesitant to talk about is family finances. But we figured, when you know what you are not good at, you outsource! This is why we are bringing in Jonathan and Amanda Teixeira, founders of WalletWin, a financial-success program and podcast that help everyday Catholics get intentional with money. In 2012, they were $24,500 in debt, but in less than eight months, they had paid off all their loans and closed the doors on debt forever. Since kicking debt to the curb, they've focused on saving, investing, and giving, and they're now teaching others how to do the same. We have found their advice to be very balanced and helpful to couples who desire to learn how to work together and manage their money in a way that brings peace and stability to their home. Listen into this crucial conversation!

Join us for a conversation that was inspired by our listeners' needs! Our daughter Katie (with a guest appearance by baby Catalina!) joins us as a host to ask questions that have been sent to us by various families over the past few months. In this episode we first talk about the time between dinner and bedtime, which we affectionately call the "witching hour". For some reason, it's always a difficult time but there are strategies that we have used to make it better. We also discuss the sad reality of adult children who have left the faith and how parents can respond to them. In addition, we give some great places to go to find information about child development so parents can know how to create appropriate expectations and we end with some practical advice on simple dinners. Listen in for some inspiration to help you on your great adventure!

"Ultimately, only bountiful marriages can transform our domestic churches into sanctuaries for this liturgy of love; and it is this liturgy by which we sanctify our daily lives and the world" ~ Living Beyond Sunday We have been blessed to work with many great ministries serving marriage and family and The Catholic Man Show is one of them! David Niles and Adam Minihan, along with their wives Pamela and Haylee have written a great book for Catholic families called Living Beyond Sunday; Making Your Home a Holy Place and we were thrilled to talk to them about it on this podcast. David and Pamela joined us for this interview in which we talk about the book, but also about how they started out as a family, why they wrote this book, and how it can help other families in their walk with Christ. Just like our work at MFP, this book is full of truth, but also very practical and real. Listen in to be encouraged and inspired!

"Pray, hope, and don't worry. Worry is useless. God is merciful and will hear your prayer." ― Padre Pio Parents worry about many things - finances, children's health and education, extended family, grandparents… and then there is the state of the world and the economy! How do Christian parents handle all the things that COULD go wrong? The answer is that this world is not our home and God is in control. God allows difficulties to come our way not for us to worry or be anxious, but for us to turn to Him in prayer and rely on His grace for our lives. This is a throwback podcast - way back to #51! Listen in and join the conversation.

"True love involves the selfless pursuit of what is best for the other person, even if it means sacrificing one's own preferences and desires" ~Dr. Edward Sri We are so happy to share with you the recording of one of the largest public date nights we have ever had! Our interview with Dr. Ted Sri and his wife Beth was fun, insightful, and, we hope, inspirational to everyone who heard it. Their new book, The Good the Messy and the Beautiful has the same perspective towards family life that we have on our podcast - that life is full of difficulties and trials, but this is the path to joy and true life! The goal of family life is not just to survive, but to grow in holiness. Some of the topics that we cover in this conversation are emotional and physical intimacy, dealing with woundedness in marriage, and why your marriage is the foundation of your home, but also part of the foundation of the Church! Listen in to hear the wisdom of Ted and Beth Sri in our conversation with them.

It is not our job to change our child. It is their job to change us ~ Maggie Radzik Oh boy, do we have a treat for you! In this podcast we have a fascinating conversation with catechist and Montessori trainer Maggie Radzik. Maggie is a leader in Catholic Montessori in the US and she is committed to seeing the work of Maria Montessori applied in a truly Catholic context. What is so genius about Dr. Montessori's philosophy is that she drew her conclusions not from her own theories, but through first observing the children. She approached the child with humility, knowing that God designed them in a certain way, and that the adults around the children need to not impose their own will and ideas on the children but instead provide an environment for that child to grow and develop into the person God made them to be. Parents can learn much from this no matter how old their children are! This humble approach to the child can be applied to toddlers, teenagers, and all in between. There are so many topics covered in this podcast - potty training, discipline, tantrums, intellectual development, prayer, and more! Listen in and join the conversation.

"Families are the ultimate and best example of a team" Every family is made up of individual people with strengths and weaknesses. Knowing these enables us to work together better! Patrick Lencioni, celebrated author and speaker, has found that there are six "geniuses" found in effective teams. Every person has two of them. When we find out our working genius and that of our spouse, we can function more effectively for the good of our family. Listen in to this podcast where we talk about the six working geniuses, how to figure out what yours is, and why it's important. Working Genius book and free resources - https://www.workinggenius.com/resources Messy Family University events - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/university/ Join the community of the Messy Family Neighborhood - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/membership/

"A definition of self-control is joyful mastery over one's thoughts and desires." - Dominican Sisters of Mary on Open Light Media Children are little raw balls of personality - and some have more than others! They are unformed little people and it is the job of parents to form them. This is a great joy to be given the privilege of training a child in the way they should go, but (let's be honest!) it can also be exhausting! In this reboot episode we have a conversation about teaching kids self-control which is an essential virtue for any successful person. Self-control is not only taught through things like discipline and giving consequences, it is also taught by giving our children tools and strategies to conquer the emotions inside them that may threaten to overwhelm them at times. This conversation was released four years ago and at the end we give an update on the kids that we discuss. It was good for us to see how far they have come! Listen in as we talk about self-control and join the conversation.

"A capable wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels." - Proverbs 31:10 Let's be honest. Moms do much more work than the average person, especially when they are at home with young children for most of the day. Even moms who work, or who have a side hustle, rarely pull back on caring for children, running the household, and keeping everyone fed and clothed. But this great service to the family can also be a burden, it can cause resentment, and it can cause burnout. Moms can feel stuck, even trapped. How do we prevent that from happening? How can we change our perspective and embrace what we do for our family as our path to holiness and sanctification? It comes down to three things - identity, belonging, and mission. Listen in to learn more!

"We are witnesses to what the Lord Jesus has done in our lives." ~ Tony Foy, Executive Director of NET Ministries Ireland Many of you may have picked up that Mike is pretty proud of his Irish heritage. We had a daughter who wanted to be an international missionary at 18 and Mike was hesitant until she said she wanted to be part of NET Ireland. That was a quick sell! NET is an organization that forms missionaries to evangelize junior high and high school students all over the world. Tony Foy and his wife Sheena have been running NET Ireland for – years while they have been raising seven children of their own. In this conversation, we talk about both of our experiences raising children who become adult missionaries, share our differing perspectives, and give the lessons that we have learned through it all. Tony and Sheena are brilliant guests and we had some good crack (look up an Irish translation for that!). It was a joy for us to connect with other like minded parents who are also in ministry to hear their wisdom and stories about this greatest of adventures - Catholic family life.

"Most people spend more time planning a one-week vacation than they spend planning their life." ~ Michael Hyatt As we begin a new school year and the fall season we think this is a perfect time to start or re-start a new habit or routine in your family and be more intentional about your family culture. This is a great time for your family to do a reset! Too often we put off making changes in our family, or it ends with us just talking about it. But it doesn't have to be that way. This is a special podcast that we did in front of a virtual "studio audience" - couples from our member site! We recorded it with them and will be starting small accountability groups to keep the resolutions from the "reset" going. After listening to this podcast if you want to join a small group, let us know! Or maybe you want to get together with some of your friends and do a "reset" together. Use this time of new schedules to make some new fresh habits for you and your family. We are always called to begin again and move upward and onward to strengthen our family culture!

"If you want to be a great parent, you need to be an amazing spouse" ~Mike and Alicia Hernon Often romance is associated with shallow, fleeting feelings, but really, the romance that we share without spouses is a powerful example to our children of the exclusive intimate relationship that only spouses are to enjoy. A kiss in the kitchen or an embrace in front of your children is not only to make them say, "Dad! Mom! Ewww!" but it is to show them the way they are called to love. It is this intimate exclusive love that is the foundation of the family, and the best place for children to grow is within the shadow of the love of their parents. So it is essential that we continue to pursue our spouses and learn how to love them intimately. This is a task that should take our whole lives! And just to make it interesting (or difficult depending on your perspective!) men and women have different needs when it comes to intimacy and we need to be pursued in different ways.

"We do not hesitate to declare that devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus is the most effective school of the love of God; the love of God, We say, which must be the foundation on which to build the kingdom of God in the hearts of individuals, families, and nations" ~ Haurietis Aquas, 123 What is the devotion of Nine First Fridays? This is a request that Our Lord made to St. Margaret Mary Alacoque in 1675. In these visions, she saw Christ revealed with His heart exposed as He explained to her that this Heart was beating with love for all humankind. In this world that is getting darker and darker, more than ever we need to find refuge in the Sacred Heart of Jesus! The devotion is simple. Families go to mass for nine first Fridays in a row, with the intention of making reparation to the Sacred Heart of Jesus for all those who ignore Him, scorn Him, and do not love Him. In return, Christ made 12 Promises to all who complete this devotion. You can find those in our blog this month! If families begin this devotion in October, June will be the 9th first Friday and then you can consecrate your family to the Sacred Heart on June 16, 2023! See below for some additional prayers to the Sacred Heart. This small offering of ours attains for us powerful blessings! https://www.franciscanmedia.org/franciscan-spirit-blog/prayers-to-the-sacred-heart

Love should be seen as something which in a sense never 'is' but is always only 'becoming'" ~ St. John Paul II All marriages go through a cycle. That cycle includes times of romance, when everything is going well, your love is full, and you are working as a team. It also includes times when things aren't so great - we call this "disillusionment". Disillusionment is when you don't have the feelings of being in love; you may not even like your spouse very much! This is when we feel dry and even alone in our marriage and we need to choose to love. It is like times of dryness in our spiritual life. We still show up to mass, say our prayers, and go through the motions, but we don't feel close to God. Our marriages can be like this as well! We need to learn that we still need to show up to work with our spouse, choose to smile and be kind, and speak with affection, even if the feelings aren't there. In this podcast, we describe this part of the cycle of marriage and give some encouragement on how to deal with it and move through it because when you do, it leads to true joy, a love that is deep and real because it has been tested and tried.

"The family is where children discover how to be human. It's where they learn how to respect and love other people.. where they discover their place in a family story larger than themselves." -Archbishop Charles Chaput We meet parents all the time who tell us, "My kids don't get along!" and our response is, "Of course they don't get along. That is kind of what your job is as parents. To teach them how to live in peace with other people and they practice this with their siblings." Family is the training ground for life. This is where children learn how to be human - to fight, to forgive, to share, to live in community. Parents must be the stewards of the culture of the family and part of that culture is the relationship between brothers and sisters. The greatest gift a parent can give their child is a brother or sister - but that is just a starting point. We parents also need to intentionally work to teach those brothers and sisters to love each other. Because strong sibling relationships are one of life's greatest joys. Listen in as we discuss this essential topic for parents. Check out our blog post on this topic: Encouraging Good Sibling Relationships

Family communion can only be preserved and perfected through a great spirit of sacrifice. - St. John Paul II Let's be honest. Parenting is hard. Some studies have shown that up to 18% of American parents regret having children. Though that statistic may not be completely true, it does show a growing number of people who don't just struggle with being a parent, but actually resent it. We need to talk about this! It is good to acknowledge those feelings, but parents need to then move through those feelings, be curious about them, and make sure they don't get stuck there. In this podcast, we talk about why people may feel this way and what to do about it. Our mission is to empower parents to embrace their sacred calling and we can't do that without meeting parents where they are at. For those parents who struggle with this job - we hear you and you are welcome here. Listen in and join the conversation. Check out our blog post on this topic: Help! I Hate Parenting My Kids (Sometimes)

Food is love, but it's only love if it's shared. ~ Fr. Leo Patalinghug Family dinner is something so simple yet so important and foundational in your family culture. We need to constantly be reminded and encouraged to take time to focus on those relationships in our family daily, or at least weekly. In this fun, engaging conversation with Fr. Leo, we discuss family dinners, but also inviting others into our homes, and how to have true leisure. Fr. Leo makes the point that dinners together are not just important, they are actually essential! In this podcast we also talk about our upcoming cruise with Fr. Leo to Portugal and Fatima next spring. It is a river cruise through wine country but also to several shrines and holy places, particularly the blessed shrine of Our Lady of Fatima. We are blessed to have such a great friend in Fr. Leo and we hope that you will join us for this conversation, but also on our trip next year! Fr. Leo's organization - https://platinggrace.com/ Women Wonderfully Made FREE Webinar Dads Vs. Wild FREE Webinar Join us a the Cruise and Pilgrimage to Fatima - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/fatima-cruise/ Check out our blog post on this topic: Do Family Dinners Matter?

Blessed is the house where an older person lives! Blessed is the family that honours the elderly! - Pope Francis, from his message for the Second World Day for Grandparents and the Elderly None of us live in a vacuum. We didn't just appear upon the earth in isolation! We are all part of a family - not just our nuclear family, but a wider group made up of aunts, uncles, grandparents, and great grandparents, stretching back generations. How often do we consider the role of our grandparents in our lives? Or the role that we will play in the lives of our grandchildren someday? In this podcast, we discuss the importance of these relationships, some guidelines for both generations to learn how to relate to each other, and how parents can embrace their role as grandparents. We have found that you never stop learning and growing in your relationship with your spouse or your children. This podcast will benefit everyone who has grandparents, who is a grandparent, and those who are navigating relationships between their children and their parents. This podcast is in response to the call of Pope Francis to celebrate the role of grandparents on the Sunday closest to the feast of St. Anne and Joachim, grandparents of Jesus, this year on July 24.

The vocation of marriage and the vocation of consecrated life beautifully work together and we think this interview demonstrates that fact! In this podcast we have a conversation with Sr. John Paul, from the order Mary Mother of the Eucharist, a Dominican congregation in Ann Arbor MI. She is a fellow Franciscan University alum and principal of St. Michael School in Columbus OH. Like parents, she is in charge of the formation of virtue in young children, but she sees this formation from a different perspective. During our conversation, she explains how to discuss the virtues in daily life and gives us some language to use. Sister also demonstrates how to spot virtues in children and call them out and shows why this is so important. Join in this recording of our member date night with a very special sister. Dominican Virtue Tree: https://openlightmedia.com/online-learning/interactive-virtue-tree/ Family Board Meeting course: https://messyfamilyhood.com/family-board-meeting-registration/ Moms and Dad Webinars & Courses: https://messyfamilyhood.com/

We love it when our listeners dictate what we talk about! In this episode we tackle some great email questions and voice memos that parents have sent us. A mom asks if its ok that her 2 yr old is wearing his sister's dress up clothes and another mom is overwhelmed at another child on the way. Does this make her not "open to life" or a bad Catholic? We also had a wife share with us her heartache at her husband's lack of faith in the home. How can she honor the Lord and honor her husband at the same time when he is not interested in living the faith? Listen in as we talk about these questions and the issue of keeping life in balance. How do we make time for it all? Our answers are empathetic, but also practical and we believe they can help many parents out there. Join the conversation! Don't miss the virtual Family Board Meeting in August - https://messyfamilyhood.com/family-board-meeting-registration/ Fly down to the Catholic Couples Getaway on Cozumel island - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/cozumel-2023/ Join us for a Fatima Pilgrimage and Portugal Cruise - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/fatima-cruise/

"The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him." - G.K. Chesterton As we celebrate the founding of our country, we want to take time to salute and honor those families who serve our country. The decision to serve affects not only those serving in our armed forces but also the spouses and children. In this podcast, we discuss with three military families on the joys and crosses of this vocation they have chosen to live. This conversation is really beautiful because much of what they share is applicable to any and every family. Important principles like trusting the Lord in everything, investing in your community and constantly pursuing your spouse are applicable to every marriage. We also ask about the virtue of patriotism and how to pass this on to our children. We hope this podcast will inspire you, it has inspired us! Want to hear more on this topic? Check out our latest blog post on raising patriotic kids: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/raising-patriotic-kids/ Don't miss the virtual Family Board Meeting in August - https://messyfamilyhood.com/family-board-meeting-registration/ Fly down to the Catholic Couples Getaway on Cozumel island - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/cozumel-2023/ Join us for a Fatima Pilgrimage and Portugal Cruise - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/fatima-cruise/

"You know what my bedtime routine was when I was a kid? Darkness!" ~ Jerry Seinfeld We love our listeners. And we love answering their questions! In this episode, we are joined by our Program Coordinator, Katie (Hernon) Gamboa who represents the "every-mom" and gives us some great topics to talk about. The first issue we tackle is sleep! Since few young parents ever get enough of it, we help out by giving some tips and tricks as well as perspective. One of us is good at getting kids to lay down and one is not. We explain how this happens and how to make sure it doesn't happen to you. Another great question is in regards to big families. The more kids you have the more the humanity and brokenness you will experience as a family. Bringing children into the world isn't just a matter of another pregnancy, it is another life that you are tied to for the long haul. Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint! How do we soberly decide our family size? How do you know when and if you should take on a stewardship of another life? And the last question is in regards to fun. What does the Hernon family do for fun? The answer is simpler than you think! Listen in and join the conversation!

"It's better to be wrong together than right alone" - Michele Doman Every couple argues. Or at least they should. The reason is that arguing can be a path to unity which is what marriage is all about. Some couples argue in measured tones with carefully reasoned ideas, while others argue with raised voices and emotional exchanges. Every couple is different, but there are some principles that we all can follow to make our "discussions with emotion" more productive and focused on bringing spouses closer together. Listen in as we give you Five Ways to Win Every Argument…. Just kidding. That would not be a very good marriage podcast! We will actually give you some tips to help you forge that unity in a manner that is healthy, holy, and good for both of you. This podcast is a re-boot of "Arguing in Marriage" from March 2015.

Anxiety results from assuming responsibility that God never intended. I need to play the part God meant for me. ~ Michele Doman This is a very special podcast that takes you behind the origins of the Messy Family Project. Many of the ideas, philosophies, and lessons that we teach come from the wisdom of the Church, and also from wisdom we have gained from others. This show is an interview that Alicia did with her mom, Michele Doman, who taught her much of what she knows about parenting! Michele shares some of her story growing up in Manhattan, NYC, living through the tragedies of the Vietnam War, the confusion in Church teaching after Vatican II and the struggles she experienced transitioning from being a successful student and professional to being a stay at home mom. We believe the lessons she learned will help moms and dads out there see God's faithfulness and love for them in any situation.

"The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page." – Augustine of Hippo We want our community of messy families to be above average. Intentional. Vibrant. Better than all the rest. One way to do that is to be very thoughtful about how you spend your leisure time with your family this summer. Every family and every trip is different, but no matter what the length is or where you go, families should be sure to make the most of their time with their children. Vacations strengthen your family culture, help you and your children grow personally, and are good for mental health! But this will only happen if you are sure to define your "why" and then make a simple, flexible plan. Listen in to this podcast when we share some of our vacation experiences and give some tips and tricks for making the most of this special time with your family.

Every family has an anointing and in order to walk in that anointing we need to walk in the power of the Holy Spirit. - Deacon Larry Oney After Jesus ascended into heaven the apostles had the Eucharist. They probably celebrated mass together, they had the Blessed Mother with them, and surely they prayed and fasted. But they did not go out and evangelize, heal the sick, or preach the word. Why? They were waiting for the Advocate, the Breath of God, the Power from on high - the Holy Spirit. Often we forget that we need the power of the Holy Spirit that lives within us to do any good work. He is the one that enlightens our minds when we don't know how to respond to a child, He gives us the courage to be vulnerable with our spouse when its hard, and He enables us to lift our hearts in prayer. Join us for this interview with Deacon Larry and his wife Andi. They have two very different stories of walking with the Lord and their marriage is an unlikely match on many levels. But God brought them together and now they are serving alongside each other in preaching and teaching about the love of God and the joy they have in serving him. https://hopeandpurpose.org/ https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/challenge/

"Love is never something ready made, something merely given to man and woman, it is always at the same time a task which they are set. Love should be seen as something which in a sense never 'is' but is always only 'becoming'..." ~ St John Paul II What is one of the most important things you can give your marriage? TIME. We build relationships with the material of time - no time spent means nothing is being built. It is very easy for all of us to push time spent with our spouse to the back burner because although our marriages are Important, they are rarely Urgent. Think about it - there will always be something more urgent in life than spending time with your spouse. But there is nothing that is more important. Couples must intentionally take time to prioritize time with each other or it simply will not happen. Daily connection, regular date nights, and weekends away are all different types of time we can put aside for our marriage. You need to take time for your spouse, but you also need to spend it wisely. In this podcast, we discuss some common stumbling blocks for couples, practical ways to make this time for each other and even some conversation topics for you and your spouse.

"My kids don't get to hurt me. That is way too much responsibility for them." ~ Dr. John Delony So many of us don't have a healthy relationship with our emotions and don't have the boundaries that we all need to protect ourselves appropriately. We get caught up in the things we can't control and wind up ignoring what we can control. In his book, "Own Your Past, Change Your Future" Dr. John Delony draws on his two decades of work as a therapist and crisis responder to teach parents how to take extreme ownership for themselves and their children. We were thrilled to be able to interview John and go even deeper into his thoughts on how we can be healthier people who can then be more effective spouses and parents. The lessons that he gives in this interview and in his book are timeless. Listen in as we discuss the real definition of "trauma" and "grief", ownership of emotions and thoughts, the epidemic of loneliness and the need for friendship, and the role that parents play in all of this.

"For a Christian, joy isn't what happens when life is going perfectly; it's what happens when you know you are loved perfectly, even when life is a mess." ~ Chris Stefanick Sometimes we look at other couples and think, "Those people have it all together. It must be easy to be married to that person. We are the only one's struggling." Nothing could be further from the truth. This interview starts with fun questions like "What's the best part about being married to Natalie?" and "How did Chris pop the question?". But then, true to the brand of "Real Life Catholic", Chris and Natalie quickly opened up their marriage to us to share the very real pain and suffering that they have journeyed through together. All of us have our own battles to fight in our lives, and often we bring these battles into our marriages. The question is, do our spouses come alongside us and fight FOR us, or do they themselves become another "battle to fight"? In this conversation, we discuss the process of healing from sexual abuse within marriage, the effect on both spouses, how you can help your spouse through their struggles, and how to lean in to all the grace that the sacrament of marriage has to give. This is a raw and real conversation that we believe will speak to the hearts of husbands and wives who take the time to listen.

"In the adult, the space of acceptance is never whole, yet it is in the child. The child is really capable of listening impartially and unselfishly, the child is receptive to the greatest degree." - Sofia Cavalletti, Founder of CGS We've all been there. You're trying to calm a crying infant, the toddler is crawling under the pews, the seven year old is drawing in the missal, and you wonder if your teenager is getting anything out of this at all. What are we talking about? Taking kids to mass! The mass is the font and summit of our faith but so many times we wonder if our kids are Pay attention at all. Does standing in the parking lot with a crying infant or chasing a toddler through the vestibule count as your Sunday obligation? In this podcast, we talk about the challenges and importance of bringing our children to Jesus in mass. The world that children live in is completely different than ours psychologically and spiritually. It is absolutely vital that parents recognize this in order to nurture the child's growing relationship with Christ. Listen in as we share our stories and insights on encouraging participation in this most important family prayer, Holy mass. Funny "Post Church Press Conference" YouTube Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=om-qeqwcF8g Catechesis of the Good Shepherd Parent Resources: https://www.cgsusa.org/discover/cgs-approach/cgs-in-the-home-parent-resources/ Special Catholic Couples Getaway next January: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/cozumel-2023/ Take our listener Survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/messyfamilysurvey2022

"When parents nag kids, we get ignored. When they nag us, we keep answering. Just who is smarter? Maybe we have strong-willed kids because we (parents) are not strong-willed." ~ Dr. Ray Guarendi In this episode, we have an enlightening conversation with Dr. Ray Guardendi, a Catholic father, teacher, and clinical psychologist who we have been following since the early years of our parenting. It was a joy to speak to him and we think you will find it super helpful as well! We discuss many things with Dr. Ray such as the difference in parenting today versus parenting 20 years ago, the dramatic changes that he has seen and how parents should respond, and how to make your discipline plan as effective as it should be. We also cover social media use with kids, the importance of parental authority, and what parenting advice you should NEVER listen to. He even gave us a test we can do to see how strong our authority is with our own kids! With a great mix of practical experience and professional insights Dr. Ray gives wisdom and encouragement to parents of all ages in this fun and engaging conversation.

Host Hijack!! Alicia's brother Paul joins Mike for some manly conversation (but don't worry, Alicia jumps in at the end!) This conversation will be helpful to anyone who is looking to have a great marriage - whether you are a husband or wife. It's clear that there are many roles that men play in our world, some big and some small, but no other role comes close to the significance of being a good husband. Instead of just talking theory, Mike and special guest Paul Doman discuss very real ways that husbands can and must love, serve, protect and lead in the home. This topic is essential for both men and women as we consider how we are being called to take extreme ownership for the way in which we lay down our lives for our wives and embrace our sacred calling. Representing the ladies, Alicia joins the end of our conversation to pose some questions from wives about their husbands. Join in our conversation to laugh, be encouraged, and empowered in the role of a Catholic husband in a marriage. Special Catholic Couples Getaway next January: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/cozumel-2023/ Guide to strengthen your marriage: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/marriage/

"Without ideals we are aimless, but never let ideals eclipse the reality of our situation" ~ Mike and Alicia Hernon Living life with infants and toddlers is no joke. And the more you have the crazier your life is! We all know life is more than survival, but there were plenty of times that all Alicia could think when she woke up was "I just have to make it till nap time". In this MFP classic episode which first aired in 2015, we talk about living life with kids under 5 without losing your mind. We give some practical tips for managing your children, ways to keep your marriage alive at this time, and how to act as a team in these crucial years. Even though the "Survival Zone" is in our distant memory, we now have grandchildren who remind us regularly how much energy kids take! Listen in for these essential tips in getting through these difficult times with grace and joy.

"Instead of trying to protect yourself through your fear, learn to live dangerously! – by doing and saying what you think, know, and believe to be right, by not caring that you may be mistaken at times" ~ Dr. Conrad Barrs, Born Only Once: the Miracle of Affirmation Unfortunately, we live in a Pinterest-perfect, commercialized, consumerist culture that is looking for the top of the line in everything. What happens when that attitude bleeds into our parenting? How does it affect our kids when we start demanding perfection from them instead of delighting in who they are? In this podcast, we dive into the concept of "affirmation" and examine how essential it is that our children receive affirmation from us. When a person is affirmed, they are not afraid to take risks, to be vulnerable, or to fail. They know they are loved for who they are, not what they do. They are delighted in and they know it. Childhood should be a process of a person receiving these messages from their parent so they can become who they were born to be. Listen in as we discuss the effects of affirmation, practical ways to affirm children, and what affirmation is NOT. The reference for this podcast is the book Born Only Once, by Dr. Conrad Barrs.