Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

"Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Ps 37:4 Making decisions is a stressful and sometimes difficult task for most of us, especially when you are a parent. Deciding where to live, what job to take, or how to educate your children are probably three of the most important decisions you will make. How can you know what God wants? How can you discern what is best for you and for your family? In this podcast, we discuss things to consider when you have to make a big decision. God wants to bless you. Just seek His face, stay close to Him, and don't stress out! Resources: Fr. Mike Scanlan's What Does God Want TV Show with Fr. Timothy Gallagher on Discovering God's Will Related podcast: MP 033: Educational Choice

We are all looking for the perfect gift. What gift is more treasured than our Lord? Many of you deeply desire for your children to know Christ in a special way this Christmas. In this video broadcast, we encourage you to first receive from the Lord, because we can't give what we don't have ourselves. In order to celebrate Christmas, use this time to seek reconciliation and give generously what you have been given. We can very simply honor the birth of our Lord through the very gift of ourselves to others. This is our fourth Advent broadcast and would love to hear your reaction. By signing up for our email newsletter we will also send you links for a great Christmas album that your family will enjoy. At the end of this is a sample with our daughters singing the Angel Gabriel. Related episodes: Holidays with In-laws and Out-laws Forgiveness Family Prayer Busyness

Make Advent a time to renew your family's faith life with scripture. This the audio version from the Advent video series from Messy Parenting. Our hope with this series is to help you make Jesus Christ the King of your family and unleash God's power in your parenting. This is the second of the four part series. This week we focus on "Making the Word of God Flesh in Your Home". In 20 minutes we share 3 ways to make scripture come alive this Advent (and throughout the year).

"Seven days without prayer makes one weak." The days between Thanksgiving and Christmas are full of many tasks, which are fun and beautiful, but also may take our eyes off of the One we need most at this time. Making room for prayer in our busy schedules isn't just something that is important during Advent, but is an essential part of parenting and living as a Catholic in this crazy world. In this podcast, we take some time to define WHY we should pray, HOW you can pray, and, most importantly, WHEN you can pray. Why should we parents pray? 1. Out of justice, because God deserves your prayer 2. To gain inner peace and take time to slow down 3. To refocus on the meaning of life and remember what matters most 4. To receive grace and strength for your day 5. To seek His blessing, provision, and protection for your family 6. To listen to God and receive His wisdom for your life 7. To allow God to love you. Gaze upon Him and let the Lord gaze upon you.

"A child will have many friends and companions in their lives, but they will only ever have two parents." The role of parents in the lives of their children cannot be underestimated. Of course, we have a natural and biological role that is irreplaceable for our children - we are to protect and provide for them - but we sometimes forget our irreplaceable emotional and spiritual role. The world would like to tell us otherwise, but we need to stand firm in the truth that we have a dignity and responsibility as parents that we can't surrender. When your children are young, you are not there to be your child's friend, companion, or buddy. You need to be the authority figure, the protector, the image of God the Father to them. This is a daunting task, but God will give you the grace you need. Because this podcast is so important, we've listed an outline of it below. What is your "irreplaceable role"? How can you take your rightful place in the life of your child in a way that no one else can? Protect them. Infants and toddlers need protecting, but so do teenagers. Looks different, but someone has to do it. Provide for them. We realize we need to give food, clothing and shelter, but we also need to provide for kids emotionally, socially, and spiritually. Form them. You are the first and best teacher of your child. Lean into that role and use the power of your relationship to speak to their heart. Be a student of your child. Observe them. Learn their personality type. Find what motivates them. This is true at every age. We all want to be known and it gives security like nothing else to be "known" by your parents. Invest in them. If you died tomorrow, in a few weeks your workplace would find someone to replace you. But your children would be changed forever by your loss. Your family is the greatest return on your investment. And your family needs you more than anyone else. Give them a sense of identity and belonging. Your child is a son or daughter of God and you are the one to confirm that identity. Create a family culture so your child knows that when the world beats them up, they will always know who they are and have a place in your home. Give them a sense of purpose. One of the highest and most important needs of man is a sense of purpose. Children need to know that God has a plan for their lives, that He has a mission specifically for them. Their life has a purpose, and you will be there to walk beside them and find that purpose together.

"Life is pain, your highness. And anyone who tells you differently is selling something." - The Princess Bride Children today are less able to deal with failure, rejection, and pain than ever before. As parents, we hate to see our children suffer, but how do we prepare them for real life? How do we help to make them strong, but flexible at the same time? In this podcast, we discuss how hard it is to see our precious children struggle, and we point out the pitfalls that we parents can easily fall into. We also give three principles you can implement in your parenting to help form resilient kids.

"You left just as you were becoming interesting." ~ Professor Henry Jones to Indiana Jones All throughout our children's lives, we are laying a foundation, a foundation upon which the rest of their lives will be built. How we relate to them, the consequences we provide to their behavior, and the teaching we give when they are teens (or even younger) will affect how we relate to them when they become adults. Parenting an adult child can be heartbreaking or amazingly satisfying, depending on the decisions they make. In this podcast, we give seven tips on how to parent your adult child and help them to launch into the world of adulthood.

"Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one." ~ Benjamin Franklin We thought we were really nice people before we had kids. Our children can sometimes trigger anger that we didn't even realize was there, anger that can surprise us with its violence. To overcome unrighteous anger, we need to understand why we get angry (sometimes it's not unjustified!) and make a plan for how we are going to deal with it. This can be a difficult issue for many people because it takes humility to admit when we are wrong, and vulnerability to deal with our own brokenness. Show Notes: Check out these resources. Book: Taming the Lion Within: 5 Steps from Anger to Peace by Dr. Rhonda Chervin Great article: How to Deal with Parental Anger by Dr. Sears Our podcast on The Courage to Correct Your Spouse Our podcast on Words Matter

"For the grace of Baptism to unfold, the parents' help is important. So too is the role of the godfather and godmother, who must be firm believers, able and ready to help the newly baptized on the road of Christian life." Catechism of the Catholic Church, No. 1255 Our world presents images of cartoon fairy godmothers and mob-boss godfathers, but in actuality, being a godparent is a lifelong commitment with spiritual significance. To be an effective godparent, we need to be in a relationship with our godchild as a Christian as we assist the parents in the faith formation of their child. In this episode, we discuss how to choose a godparent, the importance of godparents in the life of the child, and how to be a godparent who actually makes an impact on the life of a young Catholic. Listen in to learn more about this important relationship. This sponsored podcast is dedicated to Katie Stockermans.

"If the devil cannot make us bad, he will make us busy." ~ Corrie TenBoom If we are too busy to pray, eat with our family, or play with our kids, then we are too busy. When we look at our family's schedule, we need to make sure that we have the "big rocks" in place. We need to make sure that we invest time in those things that we say are our top priorities. Show me how you spend your time, and I will show you what you value. In this podcast, we talk about families and our busy schedules. We look at how we can juggle it all and make wise choices for our children and ourselves. Really, most of our podcast ideas boil down to this - how do you make it all happen? Thanks to the Master Planner for sponsoring this episode! Show Notes: Our podcast on Kids and Activities Our podcast on Raising confident kids who aren't full of themselves Our podcast on being Overwhelmed

"The future of evangelization depends in great part on the Church of the home." ~ St. John Paul the Great Every Catholic is called to evangelize. No matter where you are in life, we are to spreading the gospel of Christ in all we do. Does that mean that we need to carry a bible in the diaper bag and preach on the street? Not necessarily (though a bible in your diaper bag is a good idea!), the first step in evangelization is to love. When we evangelize as a family, that means that we first love, serve, and preach the gospel to our own children as we create a home in which others can come to be served and cared for. Your family can be a witness to Christ as you show how to love as Jesus loved. Thank you to Sean and Aine Ascough of Ireland for sponsoring this podcast! Show Notes: some resources we mentioned in this episode: Our podcast on Evangelizing your Kids Our podcast on Passing on the Faith Our podcast on Scripture and the Family

"The more ready you are to give yourselves to God and to others, the more you will discover the authentic meaning of life." ― Jason Evert, Saint John Paul the Great: His Five Loves Chastity is a fruit of the Holy Spirit and a virtue that frees us to love others for who they are, not for what they do for us. The foundation of chastity should be intentionally laid when our children are young, so this virtue can fully flower in their teen years and beyond. This podcast isn't a "chastity talk": it's fifty minutes of practical advice on what this virtue looks like when lived out in a family of all different ages and stages of development. Thank you to the Piwnicki family from St. Thomas the Apostle Church in Crystal Lake, IL for sponsoring this podcast! Show Notes: Our podcast on the importance of Friendship for your Kids Our podcast on Preparing Your Tween and Yourself for Adolescence Our podcast on the Messy Parenting Guide to Dating Book: Raising Pure Teens by Jason Evert and Chris Stefanick Book: Theology of His/Her Body by Jason Evert

"You can learn many things from toddlers! For example, how much patience you actually have." ~Anonymous One blessing of having ten kids is that we have matured and learned enough about kids to appreciate the toddler years of children #9 and 10 much more than those years with children #1 and 2. Our advice to parents of toddlers is to start by enjoying them! It's hard to do when they are destroying your house and embarrassing you in public, but with a few strategies and consistency on your part, you can begin to see that this little bundle of creative energy has been amazingly designed by the Divine Creator. It's all part of His plan to get this child to adulthood and independence, and to get you to heaven! Notes: The Absorbent Mind (Montessori book) Articles on toddlers from Focus on the Family (Christian website)

"It is in the family that young people have their first experience of Gospel values and of the love which gives itself to God and to others." ~ St. John Paul the Great As Catholic families, we want our children to be open to the call to the priesthood or religious life, but how do we do that in a practical way? Where does this call come from? How can we support our children in responding to that call? Ultimately, the answer comes down to teaching our children to love and know Jesus, because the path ahead of them can only be walked with His help. In this podcast, Father Joe Doman, Alicia's younger brother, shares his vocation story and insights into how the laity can foster vocations. We also discuss how to support the priests who care for us in our parishes.

"Wine is a constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy." ~Ben Franklin God could have made food boring, dull, and simply to sustain us. But He didn't. He made food good! Added with human creativity and work, food becomes a sign of love to our families. Parents work to buy food, prepare food, and serve food to nourish their children. It's amazing how much work goes into just feeding people! In this podcast, we talk about feeding babies, the kind of food we give our kids, our perspective on organic and non-GMO foods, and why we think it's important to consider the philosophy of food that you are passing on to your kids. Additional Resources: Plating Grace (Fr. Leo is awesome!) The Catholic Table (great book and blog!) Once-a-Month Cooking (Cook book)

"More than ever necessary in our times is preparation of young people for marriage and family life." – St. John Paul II, Familiaris Consortio Preparing for a wedding can be a whirl of appointments, deposits, planning, decision-making, "Pintresting," and, sometimes, drama. But the wedding is just a day: marriage is a lifetime. Preparing for marriage is a very serious and important task for any couple. Marriage is naturally fraught with difficulties, and that's especially true in our culture, today. There is little support for faithful marriage, and many of us come from families who have given us poor examples of what a healthy marriage should look like. In this podcast, we list some topics that couples really need to discuss as well as some of our own insights on how to renew the sacrament of marriage in our Church. Show Notes: some resources we mentioned Catholic Bishops on Marriage Fr. John Riccardo: a Biblical Vision for Marriage Pt 1(iTunes) Video series: Beloved

"The future of evangelization depends in great part on the Church of the home [the family]." - St. John Paul II The deepest desire for many of us as parents is to pass on the faith to our children. According to many statistics, upwards of two-thirds of young people are leaving the faith. So it's obvious that most parents are facing an uphill battle in this area and must intentionally evangelize their children. What is the secret formula for success? What does it look like to be an evangelizing parent? In this podcast, we share the top five ways to evangelize your kids. Gain some insight, spark a conversation, and go deeper in the work of evangelization. Listen in and share your ideas.

"Once you're a parent, your relationship matters more, not less, because now other people are counting on you." ~ TheDatingDivas.com Marriage is under attack, but many times the attack is not direct and aggressive. Instead, it is slow and subtle – couples simply drift apart. How do we keep this from happening in our marriages? In this podcast, we share five ways to keep your love alive in your relationship. Each of us must continue to pursue and discover our spouse, no matter how long we have been married or how well we think we know each other. During this episode, we also share how our listeners can help us spread this ministry of Messy Parenting. Listen in! Consider sponsoring the podcast

There are few tasks in parenting that can be as challenging or as rewarding as disciplining sons and daughters who are moving from childhood to adulthood, otherwise known as teenagers. This is an important time of transition for both them and their parents. Old ways of communicating and protecting them will not be as effective as they were. Some families breeze through this time, while it takes a heavy toll on others. In this podcast, we would like to give some foundational principles that we have found very helpful in discipling, not just disciplining, children who are going through this amazing and critical transformation in their lives. This podcast had so much information in it that we decided to break it up into two parts. This is the second part.

"Don't throw away your friendship with your teenager over behavior that has no great moral significance. There will be plenty of real issues that require you to stand like a rock. Save your big guns for those crucial confrontations." ~Dr. James Dobson There are few tasks in parenting that can be as challenging or rewarding as disciplining sons and daughters who are moving from childhood to adulthood, otherwise known as teenagers. This is an important time of transition for them, and it is a time of transition for parents as well. Old ways of communicating and protecting them will not be as effective as they were. Some families breeze through this time, while it takes a heavy toll on others. In this podcast, we would like to give some foundational principles that we have found very helpful in discipling, not just disciplining, children who are going through this amazing and critical transformation in their lives. This podcast had so much information in it, that we decided to break it up into two parts. The second part will be out next week.

"Father Mike Scanlan was a priest of the New Evangelization before there was a New Evangelization." ~ George Weigel Father Michael Scanlan, TOR, who died on January 7, 2017, the week before this podcast, impacted many lives with the saving message of Jesus Christ. He was a friar, priest, preacher, teacher, healer, and university president, but to us, he was a spiritual father. In this podcast, we take some time to reflect on the lessons that we have learned from this man that we would like to share and continue to make real in our lives. We know you will benefit from hearing about this great man because he taught us both how to love Jesus in a deep, real, intimate way. We hope we can honor his legacy by continuing to proclaim the Gospel in the best way we know how -- by sharing these stories with you. The debt we owe him is beyond all measure. Thank You, Jesus, for this gift, this privilege, this humble friar who has changed our lives for all eternity.

"Human beings look separate because you see them walking about separately. But then we are so made that we can see only the present moment. If we could see the past, then of course it would look different. For there was a time when every man was part of his mother, and (earlier still) part of his father as well, and when they were part of his grandparents. If you could see humanity spread out in time, as God sees it, it would look like one single growing thing--rather like a very complicated tree. Every individual would appear connected with every other." ― C.S. Lewis We all come from somewhere. We are part of the human family, but also we are part of a particular family with a history. So many of us, especially Americans, have lost the appreciation for our family tree that we should have. It's important that we know where we come from, so we can pass that on to our children and to future generations. In this podcast, we talk not only about the importance of knowing our ancestry, but also about maintaining connections with extended family and teaching our children their family history through videos, keepsakes, and photos. All of these things are important in keeping us grounded in our place in history. Show Notes: Catholic tangent: I Ain't Afraid of No Ghosts!

"In children, we have a great charge committed to us. Let us bestow great care upon them…Form the soul of thy son aright, and all the rest will be added hereafter." —St. John Chrysostom We are so grateful for all the people who have emailed us encouraging words and stories of how these podcasts have touched their lives. We are MOST grateful for those people who email us questions because we can use them as topics for our podcasts! Thank you for trusting us enough to ask for our help. In this episode, we take some time to answer questions and give encouragement to those who have asked us about issues like teaching gratefulness, getting kids to sleep, and tithing. Keep those questions coming!

"Harboring unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." Unforgiveness destroys marriages, relationships, families, and communities, but forgiveness is the most powerful weapon we have as Christians. When we forgive, with the grace of God, we are free from the power that any person and their actions have over us. Sometimes forgiveness seems impossible, and if it is dependent on us, then it would be. But we are not alone! Listen in as we talk about what it means to forgive and how to do it.

"The birth of Jesus brings us the good news that we are loved immensely and uniquely by God." – Pope Francis The Advent season is more than just a countdown to Christmas. It is a time of preparation for the coming of Christ – His coming at Christmas and His second coming. The Church gives us many beautiful traditions to help us lead our family to focus beyond presents and treats to the true celebration of the gift of Jesus! In this podcast, we share some ideas and inspiration on what we do for Advent, and how to inspire your family in this journey to Bethlehem. Show Notes: Previous podcasts of interest: Our podcast on Holidays with In-laws and Out-laws Our podcast on Visiting Family

"I don't know what's more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you're doing." ~ Jim Gaffigan, Dad Is Fat Babies are a joy. If you are married without children, people will often tell you that no one can describe what it's like to be a parent, and they are right! Parenthood is something that has to be lived through to understand because you can't explain it. God has this amazing way of combining an experience that is exciting, frustrating, amazing, and discouraging all at once. He does all this to form us into who He wants us to be, which is the best version of ourselves. In this podcast, we offer some encouragement, a dose of realism, and of course, practical advice in navigating the transition from being a married couple to being parents.

Warning! Political Talk Ahead! "The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing." ~ Edmund Burke This election is a difficult one for many reasons. What is a good Catholic to do? Over the years, Mike has been involved in politics on the local, state, and federal levels. He has had time to think and pray about some principles that apply to this election in America, but also to elections in other countries and at other times. We think you will find this advice practical and helpful as we navigate these muddy waters in our election this year.

"…Do good, be rich in good deeds, and be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life." - 1 Timothy 6:18-19 Where we spend our money is a very personal decision. The fruits of our labors are important, and where our money goes reflects our values. Giving money away is where the rubber hits the road in our relationship with God. How much do we recognize that we are dependent on Him? Do we really give Him all we have? Using part of our hard-earned money to serve the Lord is a reflection that our lives are given to Him. Listen in to hear our philosophy, but also some practical advice on how to discern what God is calling us to in tithing some of our resources to the service of His Kingdom.

"I know God won't give me anything I can't handle; I just wish He didn't trust me so much!" The common answer when people ask us, "How are you doing?" is often "I am so busy!" Sometimes being busy is good, when you feel as if you are cruising on the crest of a wave. But the problem is that eventually, you trip and the wave crashes over you and tumbles you into chaos. So many things about being a parent are overwhelming because much of what we are dealing with is new to us! When we are overwhelmed, we parents need to stop and reevaluate. Listen in to this podcast (our first in a few weeks! We get overwhelmed too!) where we give some sympathy and empathy, but also some good ideas of how to deal with the common parental experience of being overwhelmed.

"To love is to be vulnerable." - C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves Many cry that marriage today is under attack, but the most powerful attack on marriage is often less like a bombardment and more like a silent cancer that creeps into our relationship with the person that we should feel totally safe with - our spouse. For our marriages to grow, we need to reveal ourselves to the other more and more, and this involves risk. For many men, the risk is looking weak. For women, the risk is getting hurt. But there really is no other option to vulnerability! In a marriage relationship, you are either growing or dying. We need to all learn how to honestly share our inmost thoughts and feelings with our spouse if our marriage is truly going to bring us life. In this podcast, we talk about what holds us back, why we should go forward, and what the fruit of vulnerability is in our marriage.

"Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God." - Romans 13:1 Every day, it seems like we hear of another act of violence by police or against police. Where is the respect for authority in our culture? How can we teach respect to our children? Actually, the more important question is why should we teach that to our children? In this podcast, we talk about the importance of respect for authority because authority ultimately comes from God. Our current culture engenders disrespect for authority. We need to change that, starting with our own family.

"I don't believe an accident of birth makes people brothers or sisters. It makes them siblings, gives them mutuality of parentage. Sisterhood or brotherhood is a condition people have to work at." – Maya Angelou Growing up, all each of us remembers was fighting with our siblings. Now, they are our best friends, an integral part of our identity. How did that happen? Creating an environment in which siblings can form sisterhood and brotherhood should be an essential part of your parenting playbook. Your children's relationships need to survive distance, conflict, and the test of time long after you and your spouse are gone. How do you do that now? How do you make that a priority in your family? Listen in as we share our experiences as siblings and as parents in a large Catholic family.

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" - Matthew 6:26-27 Parents worry about so many things. When you have kids, it's like part of your heart is walking around outside of you! But Christ commands us not to worry. In this podcast, we ask: what is worth the mental and emotional energy of concern on your part, and what is not? We also discuss some of the common things that parents worry about, and the Catholic response to worry.

"We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or omit to do, and more in the light of what they suffer." ― Dietrich Bonhoeffer Our faith celebrates and values children and openness to life, so having one child or no children can be particularly painful for Catholic couples who long for a big family. To discuss this topic on a personal level, we interviewed Brad and Jessica Sheguit, Alicia's sister and brother-in-law who have carried this burden for over seven years. In this podcast, Brad and Jessica share their struggles and give advice on how to support couples who carry this hidden cross. Show Notes: From the USCCB: An article on reproductive technology & Guidelines on Reproductive Technology Additional Catholic information: www.catholicinfertility.org/ NaPro technology: www.fertilitycare.org

Every single person has a different perspective when looking at the same thing. How many times in our marriage do we come into conflict with our spouse over things that are not moral issues, just differences in opinion? It happens pretty often, especially when you are first starting out and beginning your family. In this podcast, we help you to see that those differences are actually gifts. We just need to figure out how to discuss our differences in a productive way. Many of our examples for this podcast come from listener emails that we felt were important to respond to.

You can't put your head in the sand. If you don't bring up tough issues with your child, they are going to encounter those issues, but from someone else's perspective. When do you bring up sticky issues with your kids? It's so hard to know when and if you should discuss things like terrorism, abortion, or where babies come from. Kids bring up topics at the most inconvenient times! Plus, life is messy and as much as we would like to keep our children innocent forever, that is just not possible. In this podcast, we share some of our experiences and give some guidelines on how we have handled these issues with our kids. Listen in and let the conversation begin. Discussion Questions: How will we protect our child's innocence? What issues are on the horizon for our family? What's our response as parents to these issues?

"Community is a sign that love is possible in a materialistic world where people so often either ignore or fight each other. It is a sign that we don't need a lot of money to be happy – in fact, the opposite." ~ Jean Vanier, founder of L'Arche Relationships are a complicated thing, but somehow we can't live without them. Just as it is not good for a man to be alone, it is also not good for a family to be alone. We are created to live in community. How do we do this when our lifestyles tend to isolation? How do you find community with people who share your values? How do you create community where there is none? In this podcast, we share some experiences and ideas on how to form meaningful relationships with other people, and why this is vital to the health of Catholic families.

The phrase "working mother" is redundant. First, let's be clear – deciding if Mom should work outside the home is not a moral issue. It is a personal decision made by couples in light of their priorities. In this day and age, most mothers have to work outside the home at some point. Some moms have home businesses, some work part-time, some work full-time, some are able to not work at all. No matter what, the employment decision is a difficult one for families. In our family, Alicia has worked part-time and full-time, so we have had to wrestle with many of these issues. Here are some questions for couples to discuss: Do we appreciate the role of a mom and how she contributes to the household by the work she is doing at home? How are we balancing the needs of our children with the financial needs of our family? If mom is working, what is our financial plan? We also responded to a listener's question about having more children when the mom has to work in order to keep the family afloat. Being a working mom is not easy – you have to be willing to screw up at every level. ~ Jami Gertz

"The Lord gave me this challenging child for a purpose. He wants me to mold and shape this youngster and prepare him or her for a life of service to Him." ― James C. Dobson This episode is really meant for parents of little kids who cause problems. Such as toddlers who push other kids, kids whom they really like but don't know how to play with. The reaction of our society to these children (who are usually boys) ranges from disbelieving shock ("How could that child DO such a thing?") to indifference ("He is just going through a stage"), but neither response is really the right one. Little guys like this are just amazing bundles of raw personality! But these little personalites need to be formed and trained by their parents – and yes, that means you. It can be truly embarrassing to have an aggressive child, but get used to it because your child is just beginning his work of embarrassing you! We also have some advice for kids at the other end of the spectrum - those who get picked on and pushed over. They too need to learn the right way to respond that will not teach them to be a doormat, which is not what we want our children to be. We also respond to a listener question from our podcast on Criticizing your husband.

When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical. Wives: which statement do you agree with more, regarding your husband? "I don't know how I could live without him" or "I don't know how he could live without me." Do we treat our husbands like a child? Do we criticize our husbands in public or to our friends? Criticism doesn't achieve the change women are looking for -- ever! Attacking the need to be respected is a sure way to put your marriage on the road to danger. How can wives speak to their husbands respectfully? How can husbands and wives work as a team to improve their marriage and their lives? Being disrespected rarely motivates a man.

"I have this problem with low self-esteem, which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am." ~ the modern child Raising confident children is the obsession of many parents today. Cries of "Good job!" "You can do it!" "You are awesome!" can be heard in playgrounds, sporting events, and auditoriums all over the country. Is this really how we should ground our children and help them to be the best they can be? The key to self-esteem is not what you do, but who you are. Who are you? You are a child of God, created in His image. Listen in as we delve into this topic and explore how we can communicate to our children a true confidence based on reality. Some questions to start a discussion: What activities can I do to help give my child confidence? How do I build my teen's identity as a child of God? Where does my own identity come from? In my accomplishments or in who I am?

'Spend' your time on paper before you 'spend' it in reality "How do you do it?" People ask us this question all the time, so we finally decided to answer it, at least in part. In this podcast, we share why a routine is important and why families should budget their time, just as they budget their money. How do you make up this "budget"? Decide what your values are, then decide how they should be evidenced in your routine. As usual, we give some principles, and then some specifics on how you can make a routine for your family that reflects your values and ideals. Discussion Questions: What is our routine? Do we have a routine? Does it align with our values? What do we want to change about it? Show Notes: We referenced these other podcasts: Our podcast on Chores Our podcast on Family Board Meeting Our podcast on Family Dinners

"…I promise to be true to you in good times and bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life." ~ Wedding Vows Our wedding was a day to remember for many reasons. First of all, we each married our best friend and began the greatest adventure of our lives. Also, it was a complete disaster by wedding standards. An ice storm in Philadelphia caused power outages, hazardous driving conditions, and canceled plans for many of our guests. In this podcast, we share our story so all of you can feel great about your weddings, even if they didn't go as planned! A wedding is a day, a marriage is a lifetime ~ Engaged Encounter slogan

"Am I not here, I, who am your mother? Are you not under my shadow and protection? Am I not the source of your joy? Are you not in the hollow of my mantle, in the crossing of my arms? Do you need anything more? Let nothing else worry you or disturb you." ~Our Lady of Guadalupe to Juan Diego The Virgin Mary is not only a model and intercessor for us to Jesus, but she is also our Mother. She is the crown of God's creation and a great gift to us from the Father. Who is this woman? Why is she so special? Why should we introduce our children to her? In this podcast, we answer these questions while sharing our own experiences and thoughts on this amazing woman. Show Notes: Best book >> 33 Days to Morning Glory Prayer for consecrating a child to the Blessed Virgin Mary

"Failing to plan is planning to fail." – Ben Franklin Your family is your own little corporation and you are president of the board. Well, maybe not exactly, but you and your spouse are the partners in running your home, and how can you do that effectively without a plan? Once a year, it's a good idea to get away, dream a little, and make a plan. A Family Board Meeting isn't about success or failure; it's about being unified as a couple in your vision and goals for your family. "Do or do not… there is no try." - Yoda Show Notes: • Three Questions for a Frantic Family by Patrick Lencioni • Beginner's Guide to Goal Setting from Michael Hyatt • Family Mission and Vision article on the Art of Manliness

"Musical nourishment which is 'rich in vitamins' is essential for children." ~ Zoltan Kodaly, music educator Music is a powerful tool, and an absolutely unique vehicle for ideas, emotions, and stimulation. As parents, we need to train our children to recognize music that is good and music that is not worth listening to. By exposing our children to lots of different types of music, we can help them to make judgments and choose what is good. We can't underestimate the importance of music in our culture and in our home. "Music is a moral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything." ~ Plato

"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother." - Matthew 18: 15 As married people, we each have a duty, a solemn obligation to help to get our spouse to heaven. Sometimes we help them by being a cross for them ☺, but sometimes we need to help our beloved by pointing out things in their lives that need to change in order for them to grow in virtue. Here, we're not talking about a difference in values – most of those are not moral issues – but correction regarding sinful patterns of behavior or vices that need to be rooted out. How do we do this? How do we know when to speak up and when to just pray or be silent? How do we get the courage needed to have this conversation with love? "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." - 2 Corinthians 12:9

"A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together." – Garrison Keillor Thanksgiving and Christmas are times of great joy and celebration, but can also be times of unprecedented stress and conflict. Buying gifts, traveling to see extended family, and keeping traditions are all important aspects of the holidays. How do Catholic families enjoy this while also keeping Christ as the center of our holidays? How do we love our families while we are striving to keep the peace and make everything perfect for our kids? Listen in as we discuss these challenges and the ways that we have dealt with them in our household. Show Notes: Shows we referenced and ideas for Advent and Christmas Our podcast on Visiting Family 9 Things to do to make a more meaningful Advent Dynamic Catholic's best Advent ever "The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it." - John 1:5

"With great power comes great responsibility" ~ Ben Parker (Spiderman's Uncle) As Catholics, we have a great blessing in the clarity and beauty of the Church's teaching on contraception. Using the natural rhythms of a woman's cycle to regulate birth is a way that couples can use the reason of science as they are informed by the light of Faith. NFP is a gift, but it's also a challenge! It's hard to deny our bodies when our culture is telling us that we deserve every comfort as well as instant gratification. In this podcast, we talk about the gift of NFP, but also the reality of the cross of denying ourselves. Listen in and tell us what you think! Show Notes: Links and resources we mention in this podcast. Humanae Vitae Dr. Janet Smith Couple to Couple League NaProTechnology (Creighton Model of NFP) USCCB on Natural Family Planning Theology of the Body Institute

You might be a millennial parent if you… have more pictures of your kids than you do of yourself on social media, feed your kids only organic food, regularly ask the internet for parenting advice, have a tattoo or piercing, or... The generation born between 1980-2000 has a particular way of parenting that is unique. Recently TIME magazine ran an article called "Help! My Parents are Millennials!" and we thought it would be a good idea to address some of the issues it brought to light. This generation is affected by the culture in some very good ways, but also in some very unhealthy ways. It's important to be open-minded, tolerant, and questioning, but not at the expense of being obedient, respectful, and humble. In this podcast, we look at how Millennials are parenting their children and what their particular challenges are. Show Notes: TIME magazine article on Millennial parents TIME Millennial parents raising kids poll