Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

"One earns Paradise with one's daily task." ~ Saint Gianna Beretta Molla Chores, laundry, meal preparation, etc, etc…. It never ends! But even this part of family life is an area in which God wants to enter into our lives and teach us to be holy. Yes, there are very practical aspects of family life that we need to just get done, but HOW we do them will effect our growth as a Catholic family. Listen in to this podcast where we discuss how we do chores, laundry, and our family's schedule. Things change over the years and its important that we realize that being flexible is one of the keys to keeping family life peaceful. Finding new chore charts, routines, and assignments at home is one way that parents can keep themselves and their kids on their toes and learning how to serve each other. The home is the training ground for life! Stefanick Date Night Sign Up: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/date-night-with-chris-natalie-stefanick/

"If their love is a true gift of self, so that they belong each to the other, it will not only survive but grow stronger, and sink deeper roots… only when love between human beings is put to the test can its true value be seen." - St. John Paul II Over the years, we have met many couples, ordinary people, who have been able to come to a deeper understanding of God's love for them and the importance of their marriage because of the challenges that have come up in their lives. Many of these stories are inspiring, so we decided to share some of them with you. We interviewed three couples from our Messy Family Neighborhood who have faced challenges in their marriage that they have been able to learn from by God's grace. Billy and Lori are a young couple who needed to learn how to operate as a family and not as "married individuals". David and Erin are a military family who dealt with the dangers of military conflict as well as long deployments. Bill and Lisa have three children with various special needs who forced them to adjust their expectations of family life and prioritize each other even when their children's needs seemed overwhelming. We all need to hear stories of God's grace acting in the lives of other people to be inspired and encouraged. Listen in and enjoy.

The world says husbands and wives have the same or even interchangeable roles. Some fundamentalist Christians and even Catholics say wives should let their husbands decide everything (even in regards to sexual intimacy!) and wives should obey as long as it is not immoral. This way of thinking does not reflect the rich, intricate, dynamic teachings of the Church in regards to men and women. A true Catholic marriage calls men and women to act in complementarity so they both become who God is calling them to be. Listen in while we unpack this controversial but essential topic on the role of a wife in a marriage. (podcast on a husband's role in marriage coming soon!)

Lent is a great time to take inventory of our spiritual life and ask ourselves, "How am I doing in my relationship with God?" To help us all do that, we decided to interview Mike's spiritual director of many years, Fr. Boniface Hicks. Fr. Boniface is a director of directors! A Benedictine monk, he runs the Institute for Ministry Formation at St. Vincent Archabbey and is the author of several books on spirituality. But more important than that, he is a spiritual father giving guidance, encouragement, and sharing the Father's love to many people around the country and even the world. In this interview we discuss why we should pray at all! We also get into the practicalities of prayer - how to do it, how to make the time, and the effect it can have on our lives. Jump in and listen to this discussion we had with Fr. Boniface and our members on our most recent Neighborhood Date Night.

You try your hardest to raise your teenagers with patience, honesty and good manners, but they still end up being like you. – Anonymous There is much confusion among teens today around the crucial questions of life and we believe it is because too many parents are not taking up their essential role in their children's lives. During adolescence, the parent-child relationship is crucial especially for the parent of the same sex. Fathers teach boys how to be men, and mothers teach girls how to be women. It's never too early to start thinking about how to handle this period of transition from childhood to adulthood. We have seen over the years some families who do this transition very well, and unfortunately some that don't. Listen in to this podcast as we discuss things we have done with our teens, five of whom are now adults, and how we continue to learn about this wonderful stage of parenting that brings its own joys and challenges. We discuss these resources in our podcast today: Why Gender Matters Preparing for Adolescence Wild at Heart Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters Bringing up Boys Passport 2 Purity

After attending our niece's wedding recently, we had some time to reflect on the significance of marriage not only in our own lives today but how being married prepares us for our eternal unity with God. The church teaches clearly that marriage is a foreshadowing of the unity between Christ, the Bridegroom, and the Church, His Bride. This reality should impact our marriages greatly! We need to allow this truth to change us and make us even more serious about deepening our relationship with our spouse. Listen in for some inspiration about marriage, weddings, and even religious vocations. This conversation will inspire and encourage you! Family Board Meeting Workshop: https://messyfamilyhood.com/family-board-meeting-registration/ Lenten program for couples: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/cana90/ Mother Daughter course: https://messyfamilyhood.com/women-signup/ Dads vs Wild course: https://messyfamilyhood.com/dadsvswild/

"Teaching kids how to handle money is more than dollars and cents, it's about character and responsibility" - Dave Ramsey Handling money is a subject that can bring about strong emotion in couples, but it's a life skill that we need to teach our children! How we use money reflects our values, and if we want to intentionally train our children and instill in them our deeply held beliefs, then we need to teach them how to use money. Like most things we do as parents, teaching isn't just talking. Children learn by example, they learn by asking questions, and most importantly, they learn by doing. In this podcast we take some time to explain how we have taught our kids how to use money and how they have taken these lessons into adulthood. Although we don't propose to have all the answers, we do share how we have handled allowances, paying kids for chores, children contributing to the household, and children taking care of their own expenses. Listen in for some fun conversation and inspiration!

The family is a kind of school of deeper humanity. But if it is to achieve the full flowering of its life and mission, it needs the kindly communion of minds and the joint deliberation of spouses. Gaudium et Spes 52. How do you live life intentionally? You plan for it! And when you are a family, that plan starts with taking some time to have a "deep dive" conversation with your spouse. A tool we have designed to guide this conversation is called "The Family Board Meeting". Think about it this way, your family is your own little corporation and you are president of the board. Well, maybe not exactly, but you and your spouse are the partners in running your home, and how can you do that effectively without a plan? Once a year it's a good idea to get away, dream a little and set some goals. The most important part of this conversation is not making the perfect goals or having the ultimate budget or schedule. It's actually about having a unified vision as a couple for what you want your family to be. That's what it's all about. Listen in as we discuss this valuable tool for you and your family. (This podcast is a throwback to 2015!) Free Webinar and Worksheet: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/family-board-meeting/ Family Board Meeting Workshop: https://messyfamilyhood.com/family-board-meeting-registration/ Mother Daughter course: https://messyfamilyhood.com/women-signup/ Dads vs Wild course: https://messyfamilyhood.com/dadsvswild/

Having all our adult children along with our grandchildren at our house over the holidays reminded us that all the sacrifices we have made over the years (and continue to make!) are all worth it. We thought our listeners would enjoy hearing from our kids' perspective what worked for them and what didn't, what we taught them intentionally or unintentionally, and how these lessons affect them now as adults. We tell parents all the time that is so important to imagine what you want your kids to look like when they are adults, and we have tried to live that out ourselves. Some topics we discuss in this conversation are the importance of forgiveness, "adulting", managing teens, allowing kids to fail, and communicating respect for children so they know their voice matters. We hope you enjoy listening to this conversation because we enjoyed having it! New MFP Guide to Screens and Your Child: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/screens-and-your-child-guide/ Family Board Meeting: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/family-board-meeting/

Lovers do "for love" what never would be done for a reason, or a rule, or a doctrine or a law. True love "loves" and needs to suffer — not for suffering's sake alone, but for the sake of what we know is only gained on the other side of suffering: Joy. - Damon Owens Damon and Melanie Owens have been serving couples throughout most of their 27 years of marriage and now they have launched their own marriage ministry called Joyfully Ever After. Damon has been the executive director of the Theology of the Body Institute and, with Melanie, they have trained over 20,000 couples in marriage, NFP and in the beauty of the Theology of the Body. In this interview we discuss some of the greatest needs they see in marriages today, what to do if your spouse is unwilling to work on the marriage, and how to increase intimacy in marriage. Like us, they offer practical tools for living Catholic life with authenticity and joy. Listen in as we dive into our conversation with this inspiring Catholic couple. Damon and Melanie's ministry to marriage: https://www.joyfuleverafter.org/ New MFP Guide to Screens and Your Child: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/screens-and-your-child-guide/ *** Support our ministry: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/give/

The Advent season is more than just a countdown to Christmas. It is a time of preparation for the coming of Christ – His coming at Christmas and His second coming. The Church gives us many beautiful traditions to help us lead our children to focus on more than just presents and treats, but instead on the true celebration of the gift of Jesus! In this podcast we share some ideas and inspiration on what we do for Advent and how to inspire your family in this journey to Bethlehem. Download our free guide to Advent and Christmas at : https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/advent-2021/ Previous podcasts of interest: MP 036 : Holidays with In-laws and Out-laws - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/mp-036-holidays-with-in-laws-and-out-laws/ MP 021 : Visiting Family - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/mp-021-visiting-family/ MP 074 : Busy-ness - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/mp-074-busy-ness/

Jeff Cavins is the author is the Bible Timeline, the tool behind the hit podcast "The Bible in a Year" with Fr. Mike Schmitz. Jeff and his wife Emily have studied, taught, and led thousands of people into a deeper relationship with the Word of God through their books, talks, and guided tours. They have a heart for families and a desire to teach parents how to teach their children! On this podcast, we discuss teaching scripture to our children and learning why it is so important that parents do this. Not only do the Cavins have great insight, but they also have developed tools for parents to use in their own homes! Listen in as we learn more about their work and how they are continuing to serve the Church by helping families fall in love with the Word of God. If you would like to the video recording, sign up here: messyfamilyproject.com/date-night-with-the-cavins Advent Email Campaign Sign up: messyfamilyproject.org/advent-2021/ Cruise Info: messyfamilyproject.org/cruise/ Jeff's Website and Pilgrimage Information: https://www.jeffcavins.com/

We love interacting with our listeners and one way we do this is by taking your questions! Katie (Hernon) Gamboa joins us again to sit in as the "Every-mom" and ask us the questions that our members have sent in to us to be answered. Per usual, there is a variety of subjects that we cover in this episode. One mom is struggling with spiritual desolation and a husband who is agnostic. A dad dealing with addiction reached out for encouragement and advice on relating to his wife during recovery. We also touch on lighter topics such as laundry routines, having fun with your kids, and navigating the secular Christmas trappings that are all around us. And we always have questions about toddlers, so that topic is in here too! Thank you to all who sent in their questions - we hope we have done them justice! Link to FANOS: https://hopehousehealing.com/learn/fanos Link to Cruise: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/cruise/

All of us need community and having people in your home is a great way to make them feel loved and to experience a little bit of heaven. But so many of us have "hostess anxiety" and feel like our home, our cooking, or our kids aren't good enough to be exposed to others. The reality is that we all need to practice hospitality, but not everyone has been trained how to be a good host! In this episode we do just that! After giving some inspiration, we go through some practical tips that we have found over the past 30 years for entertaining large groups, small groups, people with kids, or a group of couples. Getting together is worth it! Listen in and then subscribe and share!

In this episode, we continue the conversation on spiritual freedom with Matt and Jen Lozano from Heart of the Father Ministries and we get practical! Matt and Jen walk us through the process of defining the lies of the enemy and breaking their power over us. This all begins with repentance and forgiveness. Then, we have to renounce these lies, just like we do in confession, and engage in the grace that is there for us. Last we need to receive the blessing of the Father, which is the deepest longing of our hearts. In this podcast, all of us share examples of how this process has transformed our relationship with God and we talk about the importance of blessing our children, which creates in their heart a place to receive the blessing of God the Father. Listen in to the conversation!

Parents feel like failures almost every day, but this is the lie of the enemy! We are so excited to share with you this interview with Matt and Jen Lozano, speakers and teachers for Heart of the Father Ministries. They have worked with people all over the world, hearing their stories, praying with them, and leading them to freedom. In our discussion, we talk about some essential spiritual issues which are so vital to parents' ability to pass on the faith to their kids. In this first part of our conversation, we talk about recognizing the lies that we believe, renouncing them, and choosing the good. So many of us believe lies from our past which keep us trapped in a "small story" but when we allow Jesus to free us, He brings us into a larger story, the story of truth. Please listen in to this powerful podcast.

When families act as they were created to be they can be a powerful force of transformation and renewal in the world because the Catholic family has what the world is looking for. Every person has a deep need for belonging and relationship, which is naturally found within family and ultimately satisfied by God the Father. In this presentation, we will discuss how to cultivate these relationships and give an uplifting vision for how the family can be fully alive and change the world.

We all realize there is a war on the family, right? But do you understand where it is coming from? And what the goal is? You can't fight a war when you don't know who the enemy is and what they want. In this podcast we identify the enemies of the family as socialism, feminism, and sexual radicalism. The ultimate goal of these "-isms" is the separation of children from their parents. Make no mistake, we do not fight against physical kingdoms, but against "principalities and powers" as it says in the scriptures. This fight is being waged in the world of philosophy and ideas which have been infiltrating into our society, our politics, and now even our education system. These roots are deep and have been growing for years, but we are just now seeing their ugly fruit. We would like you to take some time to understand how your understanding of the roles of mothers, fathers, children, and the family as a social unit has been effected by these philosophies. It goes deeper than you think! This podcast was inspired by and draws from The Invincible Family by Kimberly Ells. Listen in and join the conversation.

Forgiveness is becoming a lost practice in our increasingly secular world which we believe is one reason for the fracturing of our society. We are always going to offend each other. People are always going to sin against their fellow man. Those offenses and sins cause distance between us. How can they be repaired? Forgiveness. In this podcast, we define what it means to forgive someone and the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. We also discuss having good boundaries when you forgive and how to make sure those boundaries don't become a wall between you and those in your community. And last we give you all a challenge, a forgiveness challenge, set out by one of the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal, which promises to set you free and draw you closer to Christ and others. Join us for a special date night with Jeff and Emily Cavins: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/date-night-with-the-cavins/ Events calendar: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/speaking/events/

We talk a lot on our program about the "messy-ness" of life, but we thought it would be good to take some time to unpack why exactly we use this term and why it's so important to every family. Every family is a messy family because we live in a broken, fallen world and we constantly are trying to repair relationships and situations that have ruptured. Why is it so important to recognize this? Because if we deny or ignore this reality, or try to control our situation and make it neat and perfect, we will only end up frustrating ourselves and making the situation worse. Families need to embrace the mess knowing that they are exactly where God wants them to be.

All of us deal with fears in life and overcoming them is the key to living in freedom in your relationships. People have anxieties about all sorts of things, but within your spouse you should be able to find a safe place. Within marriage is where you should be able to admit your fears, have them be seen in the light of truth, and then overcome them through action. Listen in while we discuss how you can recognize ways in which fear is holding you back from true connection with your spouse and ways to conquer that fear. For more on this and other topics related to marriage, parenting and family life at https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/

Divorce is so common in our culture today that the effects of it on children can easily be dismissed. Almost every couple who gets married has a family member whose life was affected by divorce, so we can think it must not be a big deal. But those people who are adult children of divorce will tell you that it is. It is a wound they carry their whole lives, but because of Jesus and His power over sin and death that wound can actually be transformed and become a life-giving wound. Dan and Beth Meola are the founders of the ministry "Life Giving Wounds" which serves those adults whose parents have divorced. Their compassion, wisdom, and vulnerability in sharing their own stories is inspiring and encouraging. Listen in to this conversation even if you are not an adult child of divorce. It will give you insights that you have not considered before regarding this pervasive issue in our society. Links: https://www.lifegivingwounds.org/

Parenting kids in a tech age; Teaching kids virtue in an age of tech; Is it possible to use tech with virtue? "It is your responsibility to train your child in virtue and slowly move from protecting their innocence to building Christian maturity. This is true for many areas of life, including use of technology" - Mike and Alicia Hernon We have talked about the harm that the overuse of screens can do to kids and especially teens, but in this podcast we give parents some ways that they can be proactive in this world of Big Tech. Screens are here to stay, so parents need to take them on as another area in which they need to train their children in virtue. Do not lose heart! It is possible to have virtuous kids who are on social media, play video games, and interact with others online. Listen in as we show you how. Referenced in this episode Catholic Youth Summer Camp - https://cysc.com/ Messy Family Membership - https://messyfamilyhood.com/join-neighborhood/ Play and Pray Challenge: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/challenge/ Family Dance-Off: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/dance-off/

At the suggestion of our members, we talked MONEY with Sam and Rob Fatzinger, parents of 14 and authors of the new book A Catholic Guide to Spending Less and Living More. This conversation was insightful and full of great ideas for you and your families! Money is a hot button topic for many couples and we need to find ways to use our resources wisely especially when you have a larger family and live on one income. Rob and Sam show us that it is possible! Plus, living simply has other benefits such as the lessons it teaches our children, care for the environment, and a greater respect for the goods of the earth. Listen in to this fun conversation with the Fatzingers and the members of the Messy Family Neighborhood. Join us in the Play and Pray Challenge: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/challenge/ Family Dance-Off: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/dance-off/ Find out more about the course for dads: https://messyfamilyhood.com/dadsvswild/ Book - A Catholic Guide to Spending Less and Living More - https://amzn.to/3pH2811 Fatzinger blog: http://fatzfam.com/

In this podcast, we answer listener questions in a new format - our new Program Coordinator, Katie Gamboa joins us to present topics for us to discuss. She did a great job! We may be biased since she is our most amazing oldest child (but we aren't - she DID do a great job!) With Katie's help, we tackle some sticky questions such as how to handle a sister who is coming out of the closet? How should this be handled with kids? Families are also struggling with the strong emotions of their children when the parents have big feelings themselves! Listen in as we discuss socializing young children, physical intimacy and the "desire discrepancy", and expectations in marriage and family. Thank you to all our listeners who contact us with questions. We love to hear from you!

Part of our message at the Messy Family Project is that parenting is a path to holiness. But the question many couples have is how much parenting is God asking of us? Within the bounds of the Church's teaching, there are many prudential judgements that couples have to make - when to abstain from sexual relations, how to give birth, how many children to have, how long to wait in between births, and how to incorporate this new baby into your family. In this podcast we share some of our birth experiences and the values that we have come to embrace through the ten children we have brought into the world all in the context of the gift that it is to be a parent. Children are the supreme gift of marriage - they are not only good in themselves and good for the world - children are also good for us! Listen in as we take on this important discussion of infants, childbirth, NFP and more. Join us in the Play and Pray Challenge: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/challenge/ Find out more about the course for mothers and daughters: https://messyfamilyhood.com/maidens-signup/ Find out more about the course for dads: https://messyfamilyhood.com/dadsvswild/

April 22 is Earth Day, but maybe we Catholics could call it Creation Day and celebrate the loving Father who gave this world to us to "till and keep". Maybe we were thinking of this because Mike was chopping down old trees on our property and we all have sore backs this morning! But seriously, some may look at the extreme environmentalists and be tempted to move to the other extreme and not take seriously their stewardship of the land and animals that are part of our world - but that is not a Christian response! Time and time again our Church has encouraged people to take responsibility for creation around us, be it plants, animals, or the earth itself. We are supposed to take care of it and use it well. Listen in as we talk about teaching and modeling for our children the correct way to care for the gift of creation. For more information and resources visit: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/

During this episode, Mike shares his story of his parents' divorce when he was a teen and his own journey of healing over the past 20 years. But this is more than just his story. We also share the hope that Christ brings to us in all our relationships, the lessons learned from suffering and pain, and, ironically, how the divorce actually strengthened his belief in marriage as a covenant between two people that should never be violated. Anyone who has experienced the effects of divorce in their own lives, or who has married someone who has needs to hear this message. Even though divorce is ubiquitous, it is not without devastating effects. What is the answer? Its the same answer that applies to us all - we need to be Fathered by God and find our identity in Him. Listen in and have hope! Take Listener Survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/MFP-2021 Referenced ministry for children of divorce: https://www.lifegivingwounds.org/ Support their sacred art drive: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/sacred-art-for-children-of-divorce#/

For years, Patrick Lencioni has had books on the top of the best seller charts. He is a master at teaching businesses how to improve their culture and organizational health. In this podcast, Pat and his wife Laura join us to talk about the culture and health of our families and how his lessons from business can help us! In our Family Board Meeting course, we use his book 3 Big Questions for the Frantic Family to help couples discover their unique values and rallying cry so this interview was a great time for us to go even deeper into these questions with our listeners. This podcast is from a Zoom call that we had with our members and the Lencionis so we were able to take questions from the audience and have some great interaction. Listen in to this compelling conversation! Complete our listener survey at: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/MFP-2021 Take Pat's Working Genius assessment using our special discount code: Messyfamily at https://www.workinggenius.com/ Join the Family Board Meeting course: https://messyfamilyhood.com/family-board-meeting-registration/

This is the year of St. Joseph so let's talk about what we can learn from this man who knew Jesus and Mary more intimately than any other person who has ever lived. There is so much we can learn from him! Because there is really no definitive teaching on St. Joseph, we can extrapolate from what we know about Jewish culture at the time and what we read in scripture to imagine what he must have been like. We do know that he can teach us about being a spouse, a parent, a follower of Christ. He can show us how to love Jesus and Mary better and, as patron of the family, he is a powerful intercessor for us! Listen in to this insightful conversation about the man who can serve as a model to us all - St. Joseph. Webinar on Holy Week as a Family: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/holy-week-webinar/ 5 Week Family Board Meeting Course: https://messyfamilyhood.com/family-board-meeting-registration/

Join us for an extraordinary interview with Fr. Jay Donahue, a priest of the Diocese of Pittsburgh who has a heart for marriage and a deep and abiding love for Christ. We discuss with Fr. Jay the impact that his own large family had on him, how couples can image Christ's love for the Church and the importance of the Blessed Mother in the lives of priests and everyone in the Church. He even dives into the sexual scandals that have plagued our Church with extraordinary love and compassion. You will be inspired hearing his passion for marriage and God's vision for marriage. We hope you enjoy this interview! Webinar on Holy Week as a Family: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/holy-week-webinar/ 5 Week Family Board Meeting Course: https://messyfamilyhood.com/family-board-meeting-registration/

Discipline is the issue that we get the most questions about probably because there is so much conflicting advice for parents out there. The bottom line is that every couple must decide for themselves how they will form the children that God has given to them. But, don't worry, we do have some principles and encouragement to give you! In this episode, we discuss the importance of Respect in the home. For children to truly be obedient and secure in their family, they need to respect their parents. Evidence of this respect is what we call "first-time obedience". Yes, it is possible and parents should expect it of their children. Download our Discipline Guide:https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/discipline-guide/ Join waiting list for next Family Board Meeting: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/family-board-meeting-2021/

Looking for ideas on how to celebrate Lent as a couple or as a family? Listen in! When a married person celebrates Lent, especially when they have children, it looks very different than how a single person or religious does it. Lent is a time to take stock of how we are responding to God's grace to become who He is calling us to be. How are we becoming a better wife, mother, husband, or father? To really invest in Lent this year, we want to encourage you to consider commitments of prayer, fasting and mercy all in light of your married vocation. We have provided a great resource for you on our website -- Cana90! Sign up to receive daily emails of encouragement, tracking sheet, services for the Triduum, ideas for weekend celebrations with children, and more! Sign up for free online or order the book. Let us walk with you and encourage each other on our Lenten journey. Become a member of the Neighborhood: https://messyfamilyhood.com/join-jan-2021/ CANA 90 and Stations Books : https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/cana90/

In 1924, Eric Liddell gave up his place to compete in the Olympics final heat of the 100m race because it was held on a Sunday. He probably would have won that race, but his desire to keep the Lord's Day holy stopped him. Would we have that courage? Starting in Exodus, the Lord has asked HIs people to keep holy His day. He commands us to set it apart from all other days to honor Him, but also for our own good! God will never ask us to do something that is not good for us, and He COMMANDS us to do things essential for our health and well-being. How does your family set this day apart? Have you been influenced by the culture, especially with the restrictions put upon us by the pandemic? How are you setting this day apart from all other days in your home? Listen in for encouragement and ideas on how to reclaim the Lord's Day. Lenten program for couples - join us for Cana 90: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/cana90/ Join our membership site, the Messy Family Neighborhood: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/membership/

January is a time of beginnings and new resolutions. The best way to make plans for the future is to evaluate where you are today! You can't get directions unless you know where you are. In this podcast, we give you some encouragement as well as a method to assess where your family is at using our Five Elements of Family Culture. We hope that doing this assessment will inspire you to do your own Family Board Meeting, but even if you don't, knowing where you are will help your family to make plans for your future. *** Find out more about our February weekend workshop on the Family Board Meeting: https://messyfamilyhood.com/family-board-meeting-registration/ Two Quizzes:Five Love Languages Quiz - https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/couples-quiz/ Temperaments Quiz - http://www.temperamentquiz.com/

We are asked very often how parents can create an environment in the home that will keep their kids close to the faith. To help give parents even more resources for this, we decided to interview Colin and Aimee MacIver, who are both parents, teachers, and authors for Ascension Press. They have created resources for parents to help them catechize their children and also to communicate the beautiful truths found in the Theology of the Body. Both Colin and Aimee are kindred spirits who have a heart for teens and their parents. They bring a wealth of experience and wisdom that we think you will benefit from! Also, we discuss our upcoming free webinar and paid Family Board Meeting workshop designed to help parents create a game plan for their family as we begin 2021. Listen in! *** Find out more about our February weekend workshop on the Family Board Meeting: https://messyfamilyhood.com/family-board-meeting-registration/ Resources from Colin and Aimee: - The Catechist's Field Guide to Confirmation, by Colin MacIver - https://ascensionpress.com/products/the-catechists-field-guide-to-confirmation - Theology of the Body for Teens, Middle School Edition, Colin & Aimee MacIver, contributors - https://ascensionpress.com/products/theology-of-the-body-for-teens-middle-school-edition-student-pack-includes-online-course-access - Baptism: Belonging in the Family of God, Parent's Guide, Colin & Aimee MacIver, authors - https://ascensionpress.com/products/belonging-parents-guide-1 - Quick Catholic Lessons with Fr. Mike Schmitz - https://ascensionpress.com/collections/quick-catholic-lessons-with-fr-mike-vol-2

There are many parents who look for advice from friends, and sometimes the responses are in the form of absolute declarations about the "only way" to parent. In reality, many parenting matters are best left to an individual's judgment. As Catholics, we believe that there are certain issues that are black and white, but not everything falls into that category! The first step to responding to others with charity is to realize that our way is not always the way for everyone. In this episode, we also take on a question about discipline when you have 3 under 3, which gives us the chance to talk about toddlers - one of our favorite topics! And we play a recording of a question sent in by a listener about mentoring teen boys whose brains are being flooded with testosterone. Our answer? Look to the elephants. No, really, we do say that. Listen in and join the conversation! **Sign up for the free webinar on the Family Board Meeting: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/family-board-meeting-2021/ For More: Elephants and Dads- https://www.fatherhood.org/fatherhood/humans-and-elephants-both-fare-better-with-dads-around Catholic Differences- https://reginadoman.blogspot.com/2020/12/my-family-church-church-as-big-rowdy.html Discipling and Disciplining Our Teenagers- https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/mp-064-discipling-and-disciplining-our-teenagers-pt-1/ Guide to Discipline- https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/discipline-guide/

If you've been wondering how to bring the rich traditions of the Catholic Church's liturgical year into your home and into your family, this is the podcast for you! In it, we interview Kendra Tierney of Catholic All Year about incorporating the richness of our faith into the life of your family. Kendra has lots of great ideas for moms and dads of all ages and family sizes. After discussing the importance of incorporating Catholic traditions into family life we talk about what to do with kids of various ages, or when you have a spouse who is not enthusiastic about new traditions. Kendra has some truly great wisdom to share! Because this was an interview with our member site (the messy family neighborhood), we also have some great questions from other parents included in this podcast. Listen in and get inspired to strengthen your family's culture this Advent and Christmas season. Referenced: Maidens Course: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/maidens-course/ Support our ministry to families: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/give/ Board Meeting Webinar: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/join/

The use of technology is a major issue in most households. Tech is invading our homes in an unprecedented manner and the influence on our children is something we are just beginning to comprehend. How can parents effectively navigate these waters with their children? Kids need guidance in this area more than almost any other area of Life, but it is here where parents usually are completely unaware. In this essential podcast for parents we try to light a fire underneath you and show the seriousness of the tech situation with kids. We share our own experience and start giving you tips and tricks to guide your children on their tech use. Referenced: Maidens Course: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/maidens-course/ Support our ministry to families: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/give/

Many times when we think about taking time to pray parents' first reaction is "I don't have time to pray!" But the problem with that is that prayer is the foundation of our life of faith and relationship with God. As we pray, we grow in knowledge and love of God. We all need that! In this podcast, we discuss internal prayer which is also called mental prayer. The many means that the Church has given us to pray such as in our liturgy are beautiful and some are essential, but that is not all there is. We need to take time to speak to God and hear Him speak to us in the scriptures and within our hearts. How should you do this? Where can you start? Listen in as we share about our own prayer life and walk you through how we take the time to be with Our Lord. Referenced: Support the Messy Family Project: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/live-podcast-screens/ \ Join Live Podcast on Screens and Technology: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/give/

We have a treat for you as we are sharing a special date night interview with Scott and Kimberly Hahn. They have been married for 40 years and have six children along with eighteen grandchildren. They are world-renowned Catholic evangelists, speakers, authors and teachers. In this show they share their wisdom on falling in love and staying in love through the tough times. They share some of their struggles and not always being on the same page with great encouragement and direction for couples. They also share some of the challenges in parenting and how to effectively pass on the faith to our children. You won't want to miss this episode and you may want to take notes. We also had a follow-up handout if you would like to use this show as a conversation starter for you and your spouse. Referenced in this episode: Handout for this special date night: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/date-night-with-hahns/ Subscribe to our newsletter: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/join/ St. Paul Center: https://stpaulcenter.com/ Kimberly's new podcast: https://www.belovedandblessed.com/

After 26 years of parenting you would think that we knew how to promote an atmosphere of virtue in our home automatically. But it doesn't work that way! We have had to stop and evaluate the way that our younger children have been treating each other and address it intentionally. In this podcast, we share some of the teaching we gave to our kids about practicing kindness, how we followed up afterwards, and why its important to train the actions AND the hearts of our children. Listen in to hear our Seven Tips on Kids and Kindness at home as well as Mike's reflections on his recent hike on the Appalachian Trail, update on our fabulously successful Date Night with the Hahns, upcoming events, and how to promote our podcast. Referenced: Catholic moms summit register: https://www.cardinalstudios.org/a/34145/eFUzDCVz Marriage summit access if desired: https://www.joyfuleverafter.org/a/27520/xSMEEApS Scott and Kimberly Hahn interview: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/date-night-with-hahns/

The sexual relationship you have with your spouse is the most intimate relationship you will ever have, but it certainly can be complicated! In this podcast, we have a conversation with Byron and Francine Pirola, founders of Smartloving and international speakers and teachers. Our conversation about physical intimacy between spouses is honest, frank, and explicit, so please listen to this podcast in privacy. But we do believe this information is desperately needed by couples, so we have created a summary and download for you to use after listening to the podcast to create a conversation with your spouse. Please listen in, use this topic as a conversation starter with your spouse, and share with others! Referenced: Free Conversation Starter on Sexual Intimacy: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/physical-intimacy/ Webinar with Byron and Francine Pirola: https://smartloving.org/webinars/ Sign up for our virtual date night with Scott & Kimberly Hahn: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/date-night-with-hahns/

All parents will fail. How do we know this? Because we are all imperfect! Many parents feel like failures when grieving over their children's poor decisions or loss of faith. Or they look at themselves in the mirror and don't like who they have become. How we define failure and how we deal with it will either paralyze us or call us on to greater holiness and virtue. Recognizing how we have failed our children, and even how our own parents have failed us, is how we learn and grow. In this podcast we define the difference between shame and guilt (one is good and the other bad!), the importance of recognizing what we can control and what we cannot, and the centrality of forgiveness in our relationships with our children, no matter what their age. In addition to some hard truths, this podcast gives hope to every parent who wants to improve themselves through extreme ownership and humility. Referenced: Virtual date night with Scott and Kimberly Hahn in October https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/date-night-with-hahns/ Covenant Eyes to protect your family - https://covenanteyes.sjv.io/MFP Catholic Answers article: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/parents-and-the-law-of-love/ Sign up for one minute weekly encouragement: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/sign-up-for-minutes/

This past summer our family lost a beloved uncle, brother-in-law, and husband. Alicia's uncle passed into eternity at home with his wife, and Alicia and her sister Maria were privileged to be present for his death. Death is a profound experience and one that we should all think about more. Many of us are afraid to confront the thought of death though it is (obviously!) a part of everyone's life. Our culture influences us more than we realize and we can get lulled into thinking this world is all there is. But this world is not our home! In this podcast, we share the story of walking with them through this difficult experience, but also we share our reflections and the lessons that we have learned from them. Referenced: Virtual date night with Scott and Kimberly Hahn https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/date-night-with-hahns/ MP 022 : Dealing with Loss https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/mp-022-dealing-with-loss/ Catholic Mom's Summit https://www.cardinalstudios.org/a/34145/eFUzDCVz

In this podcast we continue to answer some very important listener questions about family life. Many listeners have spouses who don't share their faith life and forging unity when that is the case can be tricky. We came up with some creative ideas on how to love your spouse more! Other questions included disciplining pre-teens and teens and as well as forming their hearts. Our Discipline Guide is a good place to start for this, but we expand on some of the ideas found there and apply them to our Questioner's specific situation. If you find our answers helpful, share the podcast, subscribe, and tell others about us. And certainly feel free to send us more of YOUR questions as well! Referenced: Join our email list to hear about the virtual date night https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/join/ Messy Family Guide to Discipline - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/discipline-guide/ MFP 131 : The Power of "NO" - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/mfp-131-the-power-of-no/ MP 067 : Evangelizing Your Kids - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/mp-67-evangelizing-your-kids/

Listeners send us questions all the time and we try to answer them as best we can via email. Some of these questions are really great because they bring up subjects that many people struggle with. In this podcast we tackle some questions about in-laws, and we answer from the perspective of a married couple but also from being a mother and father-in-law ourselves! We also give our advice on navigating the minefield of politics as well as social media. Though we have a podcast on preparing tweens for adolescence, we answer a question about that as well. Listen in and if you have more questions, email us. Maybe you'll be featured on the next episode of listener questions! Referenced: Join our email list to hear about the virtual date night https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/join/ MP 005 : Preparing your Tween (and yourself!) for Adolescence https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/mp-005-preparing-your-tween-and-yourself-for-adolescence/ Maidens by His Design - https://amzn.to/32qpnRX Love Ed program from St. Benedict Press - https://www.saintbenedictpress.com/index.php/love-ed/

Rituals are an essential part of creating connections with other people, whether that is our spouse, our children, our extended family, our local community, and even our nation. Rituals connect how we act with what we believe - communicate values can be contrasted with "routines" that create order and address merely physical needs. Both are important but on different levels. When routines are disrupted, its a hassle. When rituals are disrupted, the family cohesiveness is threatened. When something is an obligation only with no emotional/heart connection, then the value of the ritual is lessened. Play and Pray Challenge for your family: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/challenge-complete/ Support our ministry and get the fun kit for your family: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/patron-2020/

Looking at the turmoil we are experiencing within our culture, we are becoming more and more convinced that we, Catholic families, have the answer that people are looking for. People are searching for purpose, belonging and identity. How do we "share" our family with the world? Well, first we need to make sure we have our own house in order. Examine your family culture, shore up the weak areas, and be intentional about the messages you are sending. The motivation to have a vibrant family culture is so you can take it to the next level and act in the world according to the unique giftedness that your family has been given. We are not all called to serve in the same way -- we are all different! When every family discovers their unique giftedness and then uses those gifts to respond to the call that God has put upon their hearts, God can establish His reign in the world. Listen in to get motivated and learn how to discern the call that God has given to you. Podcast references: Build Your Family Culture, Elements of a Family Culture, Growing a Family Culture Download Play and Pray Challenge Sticker and Mass for your family: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/challenge-complete/ Support our ministry and get the fun kit for your family: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/give/

Many of us are looking at the events of these days with despair, sadness, and even anger. It is hard to witness division and hatred in our world and to see the suffering of those who are caught in its crossfire. We want to respond but many of us don't know how to. This is such a huge problem with far-reaching consequences and deeply rooted origins. Parents, do not allow the devil to use that which is far off to distract you from what is near! The greatest influence you can have is within your own home. Parents need to proactively discuss these issues with their children in order to form them. This is YOUR job and no one else's. Listen in as we share our own experience and give tips on how to address these topics with your children. Get free Play and Pray Challenge kit: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/challenge/ Become a Member: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/membership/