Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Welcoming a new baby into the world can be one of the most exciting and joyful times for a couple... and also one of the hardest. It's unfortunately very common to have marriage problems after baby. As marriage counselors and family therapists we often see that most couples spend so much time and energy preparing for the birth, and how to take care of their newborn, they neglect to think about how they'll keep their relationship strong after baby. Because this transition to parenthood can feel so challenging for many couples, we're devoting a whole episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast to supporting you through it. Marriage and family therapist and parenting coach Jessica Small will be sharing her tips for how to not just keep your relationship strong after baby, but set yourself up for success in the years to come. Listen now to get Jessica's advice for how to: Prepare your relationship for a baby Have crucial conversations that will help you work through issues as they come up How to support each other emotionally after having a baby Practice practical strategies to make things easier for both of you Keep a compassionate mindset Create a happy new chapter for your marriage We hope that this information helps you successfully transition from being a happy couple to a happy family! Sincerely, Jessica Small, M.A., LMFTand Lisa Marie Bobby, PhD, LMFT www.GrowingSelf.com

Do you feel frustrated with your current job? Perhaps you generally feel good about your line of work, but want to take it to the next level. Maybe, like so many people, you're feeling a vague sense of dissatisfaction with your job: You know you want more, you know you can do more, but aren't sure which direction you should go in — much less how to make it happen. Today, you're in for a treat. I've invited Denver career coachand leadership coach Nicholas Manning to speak with me on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, and share his best advice for how to move past paralysis and stagnation, and start taking control of your career in a new way. We're talking about many things to support your professional development, including: How to know it's time for a career change (and where to start) How to make a values-based plan for your career Why you're not getting promoted The importance of emotional intelligence at work Learning how to be a leader Coping with a bad boss And much more! We help this career advice helps you make positive changes, and develop a more fulfilling and rewarding career! Lisa Marie Bobby, PhD & Nicholas Manning, MBA www.growingself.com

On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm putting on my dating coach hat to give you some free dating advice for how to date with confidence, and hopefully find your true love this summer. I'll be discussing: How to date with intention, and save yourself time, energy and frustration How to get interesting people interested in YOU New relationship warning signs What to look for in a potential partner How to establish a healthy long-term relationship If you're single and hoping to find true love this summer, you'll definitely want to listen. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

These days, travel is more than just taking a trip. Where you go, who you go with, and what you do when you're in complete control of your time says a lot about you. Your personality, your interests, and even your identity becomes intertwined with what you do during your leisure time. More importantly, traveling with intention can lead to personal growth. Having new experiences, getting a fresh perspective, and putting yourself in challenging situations can help you expand: Becoming wiser, more worldly, and more resilient. Traveling well can also provide you with benefits that linger long after you get back home. Because traveling well is such an important aspect of personal growth, I've invited travel writer Aditi Shrikant of Vox to discuss the psychological impact of travel on people, and things to consider as you're planning your summer adventure. She shares her insight into making travel meaningful, and as well as some tips to get the most personal impact from your vacation. Your partner in adventure! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

We think of the process of changing your life as a positive thing — one that is hopeful, and infused with joy. However, here's the dirt: While the results are absolutely positive, no-one ever, ever, changes because they're just so happy with their life as it currently is. No. People actually change because they are frustrated, annoyed, hurt, embarrassed, experiencing negative consequences, or just completely worn out and exhausted from living the way they have been. It takes a brave soul to raise their hand and say, "This is what changing my life actually was like — tell my story." It's such a treasure when that happens though. We all learn from each other, and hearing how people just like us learned, changed, grew, and evolved, creates an inspirational path that we can then follow ourselves. Today, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast that is exactly what we are doing. My dear colleague, fellow Denver therapist and online life coach Polly Drew has an inspiring story of personal transformation to share. She talks about the change process: From her first awareness that she had a problem, to how she got the motivation to start making changes, to the support and systems she needed to put into place in order to be successful in changing her life. We're talking all about what it takes to really change your life on this episode of the podcast. With love, Lisa Marie Bobby, PhD, LMFT& Polly Drew, M.Ed., LMFT www.growingself.com

In my role as a therapist, life coach and breakup recovery coach here at Growing Self, I have had the honor and privilege to walk along side many people as they make agonizing decisions about whether or not to stay in a relationship. They often have deep ambivalence about the relationship: They love their person, and they acknowledge that the relationship has many good aspects, and yet they simply feel in their heart that it is not the right relationship for them. So they stay. Sometimes, for years. If this is familiar to you (or someone you know) this podcast is for you. In this episode I'm addressing: Why people get stuck in an unhappy relationship What goes on inside of someone in the weeks and months leading up to a breakup Why (and when) breaking up can be the most compassionate thing for all parties How to break up with someone you care about (especially if they argue with you about it) Underlying factors that can contribute to people having "commitment issues" What relationship patterns need to be addressed, lest they follow you into your next relationship What to discuss in couple' counseling if you want to give it one more shot I hope this perspective helps! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self is devoted to helping you feel happier, and get better results in your relationships and your career. Over the years of being a therapist and coach I've learned that there are a couple of specific skills that, when learned, can change everything for you; you'll feel happier, less stressed, more confident, and empowered. I teach these skills to my private therapy and coaching clients, I teach them in my online Happiness Class, and I'm here today to teach them to you, too. These strategies work for me, they work for my clients, and they'll work for you too. Listen now, and let's get started! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

Money. Love it, hate it, it matters. Financial concerns can impact every area of your life, including your relationships, your career and even your self-esteem. Learning how to take charge of your financial success is vital to creating the life you want. Learning how to be better with money is not just a matter of making a budget and stopping your $5 latte habit. Genuine financial success requires self-awareness, clarity about your core values, and intention -- as well as a plan. Financial management is a vital life-skill that is learned, and once you have a tool-box of strategies to manage your money you can flourish in every way. That's why, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm speaking with Profit Boss Hilary Hendershott.Hilary is a Certified Financial Planner, financial advisor and a wealth coach. She has helped many people learn how to not just manage their finances, but create genuine abundance in their lives. She's here with actionable advice to help you: Gain self awareness about your patterns with money Stop sabotaging your financial success Use your core values guide your financial decisions Develop an intentional relationship with your money Guide your money, easily and effortlessly Create long-term financial peace Listen to our discussion and get actionable advice from Hilary about how to start changing your relationship with money for the better, starting today. xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Ps: Have a follow up question about financial success or any other Love, Happiness or Success topic? Cruise over to www.growingself.com and share it in the comments!

Adult ADHD: A Blessing and a Curse Wondering if you have Adult ADHD, or suspicious you do? Want to take an "Adult ADHD Test?" Here's the first test: Does the fact that this is a podcast about ADHD rather than a written article make you feel relieved? (Because you can run / clean / drive / keep futzing around with whatever you want to instead of having to sit still for a REALLY LONG TIME (like 8 minutes) and laboriously read through an article and take a quiz?) Ding ding! On today's episode of The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, we're talking about how to tell the difference between garden-variety disorganization and real-deal ADHD. I'll give you an "Adult ADHD Quiz" to help you determine if you might have it, or if someone you love may struggle with it. I'll also be sharing some strategies you can use to conquer Adult ADHD, and rise to your magnificent potential. Check out the video and book resources I mentioned on the podcast at www.growingself.com/adult-adhd-test. Learn more about Dr. Bobby, her coaching practice, and her online "Happiness Class" at www.growingself.com (Music Credits: "Networking" by The Knife)

Generational differences in the workplace aren't something that you might always have on the top of your mind, but they can impact you more than you may realize. How you communicate, how you work with a team, your expectations about your career path, and even the way you relate to authority figures can all be connected to the point in time that your personality and professional identity were being developed. Understanding your generational differences, particularly how they show up on-the-job, can help you not just understand yourself more deeply, but help you work more effectively with your colleagues. Join career and leadership coaches Teena E and Markie K on this episode to gain understanding of why you are the way you are on the job, and how you can use awareness of yourself and others to create collaborative connections with your colleagues. All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

Let’s be real — sex with your ex is rarely just about sex. If you’re wrestling with the urge to reconnect physically with your ex after a breakup, or stuck in a situationship with them that feels more painful than healing, this episode is for you. Today on the Love, Happiness & Success podcast, I’m getting honest about what’s really going on when you feel the urge to have sex with ex partners. We’ll explore the deeper psychological and biological bonds that make letting go so difficult, and why continuing to have sex with your ex can quietly (but powerfully) sabotage your healing. You’ll also hear from a listener who’s still living with his ex (and still in love), and we’ll walk through his story together to explore the emotional traps so many of us fall into after a breakup. No judgment here — just clarity, compassion, and a loving reality check. Whether you're texting, cohabitating, or tangled up in late-night hookups, here’s the truth: the longer you stay in limbo, the more it costs you. You deserve peace, clarity, and a real path forward — and I’m here to help you find it. Timestamps: 00:00 – The Hook: Why Sex With Your Ex Isn’t Harmless03:04 – “We’re Broken Up… But Still Living Together” 09:58 – Attachment, Addiction, and Why You Can’t Let Go 12:46 – The Real Reason Ex Sex Keeps You Stuck 27:21 – Power Dynamics, False Hope, and Emotional Self-Betrayal 46:11 – The Way Out: Healing, Boundaries, and Next Steps 51:23 – How to Heal From Heartbreak and Move On Navigating this emotional terrain is hard — especially when your body and brain are giving you mixed messages that make it nearly impossible to see clearly. The best place to start is with clarity — not just about your ex, but about yourself. You can give yourself that clarity when you take my free breakup quiz: How Over Your Ex Are You? You’ll get a clear look at what stage of heartbreak you’re actually in (because it’s not always obvious), and what kind of support you need to move forward. Think of it as your compass out of confusion, and toward emotional freedom. 👉 Take the Breakup Quiz: How Over Your Ex Are You? — and get your heartbreak recovery roadmap. If your ex is still in your head (or your bed)... that's not something to be ashamed of. But it is something you can talk about — with someone who gets it, and who knows how to help. My team at Growing Self includes licensed therapists and expert breakup recovery coaches who specialize in helping people heal from heartbreak. You can schedule a free consultation to talk through what’s been going on and explore how we can support you — whether you’re ready to move on or just need someone to sit with you in the uncertainty. 👉 Schedule Your Free Consultation — and take the next step toward your healing. You deserve to feel whole again. You deserve clarity, peace, and the kind of love that doesn’t leave you questioning your worth. This moment can be the beginning of something truly powerful — the moment you choose you. And you can start today. 💛 Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. If someone you care about is stuck in this same cycle? Be a lifeline. Share this episode with them.

How do you know if you're with the right person? If your relationship is good but not perfect, is that okay? How do you know if you're settling? When do you invest in a relationship, and when should you bail? So. Many. Questions. This angst was captured perfectly by a recent question that someone asked on our Growing Self Facebook page: "How do you know if you should marry the guy? I’m in my mid twenties and loads of my friends are facing this question, as am I. You’ve been with them a couple years, it’s good but not perfect ... Do you break up and look for more or is he the one?" On this episode, we're discussing how to figure out if you're compatible, how good is good enough, what things in a relationship can change (and what can't) and the surprising shift in thinking that will help you see the potential of your relationship a different way — for better or for worse. xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

Have you been daydreaming about quitting your day job and becoming self-employed? Lots of people share the fantasy of starting a business or doing their own thing, but many hit a wall when they think about how to actualize their goal of supporting themselves without a job. If you want to get the real-deal on what it takes to become successfully self-employed, you're in for a treat. I asked an experienced freelancer, NY-based journalist Michael Stahl, how he cut the cord and started doing what he loved for a living — and found success in following his passion. He shares his advice for how to make the transition from employee to "free" (as well as how to deal with the ensuing anxiety) on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Listen to his inspiring story and get insight on how to generate a plan, manage the anxiety, and cultivate the grit that will sustain you as you make your own way. Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

Love is not enough, actually. You can have an over-all great relationship with someone you love very much, and still feel like you're not really getting what you need in order to feel truly connected and cared for. This can lead to frustrations, especially if your efforts to ask (or hint, or nag, or beg, or control, or get angry repeatedly — no judgment) never lead to real and lasting change in your relationship. Help is here. On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm speaking to a true expert on this subject: Dr. Robert Navarra. Dr. Navarra has decades of experience as a marriage counselor, couples therapist, and addictions counselor. He trains other therapists on The Gottman Method of couples therapy— the gold standard in evidence-based couples counseling. He has also pioneered a new, evidence based method for helping couples reconnect in the aftermath of addiction. He's here to share his insight and relationship advice with you, so that you can finally get your needs met in your relationship. Listen now, to start making positive changes today. (You might even consider listening to this episode with your partner, just in case they have some things to share too.) Happy Valentine's Day! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

Has your relationship been feeling hard lately? Arguing, bickering, sullen silences, critical comments, and rampant invalidation? If so, you're not alone. Virtually every couple has gone through rough patches like these. Relationship problems are exhausting, but mentally and emotionally draining too. Your relationship should be a source of comfort and support, not one of stress and anxiety. If you're normal, at a certain point, it starts to feel unsustainable to keep going as you have been, and start searching for solutions. You may even start entertaining the "final solution" of breaking up or getting divorced. There is a path forward that can bring you two back together again. It's actually fairly simple (but not easy). Listen to this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast for advice from a marriage counselor for how YOU can get your relationship back on track. Happy Valentine's Day! xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

Any good ⁠marriage counselor or couples therapist⁠ will tell you that a thriving relationship is built on many things — friendship, communication, emotional safety, mutual respect, and genuine teamwork. And all of those things matter deeply. But here's the truth that often goes unspoken: when physical intimacy fades over a long period of time, it can quietly chip away at even the strongest foundation. To shed light on the most common sexual issues couples face — and more importantly, how to work through them — I invited expert sex therapist Dori Bagi to join me on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. In this conversation, we're getting into: Why ⁠differences in sexual desire⁠ are so common in relationships (when one partner wants more than the other) — and what you can actually do about it The role pornography plays in a relationship, including both its potential benefits and its pitfalls How body image and self-esteem issues often sit at the heart of sexual disconnection, and how couples can navigate this together The differences in the sexual response cycle between men and women, and how understanding arousal can deepen your connection How to have open, healthy, and productive conversations about your sexual relationship If you and your partner have been feeling disconnected, I hope this episode helps bring you closer. Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby⁠ ⁠www.growingself.com

Although many people say, "marriage is just a piece of paper that doesn't really change a relationship," as a premarital counselor (and long married person) I often smile to myself when I hear this. What I've found to be true is that becoming engaged to marry most definitely does change a relationship, often in positive ways. Engagement also affords thoughtful couples opportunities to build their relationship's strengths, as well as take proactive action to prevent possible relationship problems in the future. On this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm speaking with expert premarital counselor Rachel Harder about the changes that happen in a relationship once couples get engaged, plus the skills and strategies that she teaches her premarital couples to help set them up for success. If you're recently engaged, want to be, or know someone who is, listen to our interview to hear about the most important domains of your relationship to focus on in order to build the foundation for a happy, successful and satisfying marriage. And, CONGRATULATIONS! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, LMFT and Rachel Harder, M.A., LMFT-C www.growingself.com

Building Better Relationships: Have you ever left relationship books laying around, or put a relationship podcast on hoping that a certain someone may reflect on their own behavior and be a better partner or friend for you? Have you ever dropped a hint (or SEVEN) to a coworker, boss, or friend about how you feel in your relationship with them, and how you hope they might change? So often, we feel helpless around how to improve our relationships, because we feel like the quality of our relationships depends on what other people are doing or not doing. It may sound counter-intuitive, but by focusing on your own "soft skills" you can transform your relationships single-handedly. Today, on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm taking to my colleague (and relationship expert) Kathleen Carroll-Stutts about how to do that. Kathleen is a life coach, individual therapistand couples counselor here on the team at Growing Self. She is the facilitator of our Relationship Skills Group, and is here today to share her system for how to develop yourself so that you can build better relationships with the most important people in your life. Listen to our interview to learn how to develop the communication skills and relationship skills that can help you build better relationships. Specifically: Foundational Relationship Skills Self awareness -How understanding yourself, your needs, your feelings and your personal values can help you build better relationships with others. Emotional regulation -How being able to manage your feelings can help you communicate more effectively in relationships. Self respect -How having healthy self-esteem and self-love helps you have stronger and more authentic relationships. Assertiveness -How to develop your voice and your truth in order to communicate your needs, rights and feelings to others. Intermediate Relationship Skills How to improve your communication skillsby cultivating both self-expression skills as well as listening skills. Setting boundaries -How to set appropriate and healthy limits with others. How to manage conflict. Advanced Communication Skills and Relationship Skills Identifying our triggers -How to use our self-awareness, self-respect, and communication skills to avoid situations that would be bad for us and bad for our relationships. Empathy -Learning how to understand the needs, rights, feelings and perspectives of others, and how to use that awareness to improve communication and build better relationships. How to cope with relationship challengesincluding dealing with toxic people, how to deal with criticism, and what to do with bullies. We sincerely hope that this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast helps to give you some direction for building better relationships in your life! xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby and Kathleen Carroll Stutts, M. Ed., LPC www.growingself.com

Advice From a Life Coach: Here we are, just a week into the new year. If you're like many people, your track record on those resolutions may already be spotty. Or perhaps you've tossed the whole plan out the window already. Fear not: Making changes is not about doing the thing perfectly every time. You don't just hop in a car, point the steering wheel in the general direction of the grocery store, and then expect to get there do you? Of course not. From the moment you pull out of the driveway you're turning, speeding up, slowing down, taking detours, stopping for gas — you adjust and flex the whole way there. BUT. That's not to say that it isn't helpful to have tools and strategies to help you along the way. Just like you use your handy Google Map App to get you from A-Z, there are many useful tricks and life-hacks to make doing what you want to do easier than it would be if you just wandered out without a map. Particularly if your goals for the new year involve creating a new keystone habit, and making it stick, there's an easy way and a hard way. Here at Growing Self, we're all about making growth and success as simple and painless as possible. So, here's a bonus episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast to support you on your journey. I'll be discussing: Useful apps and practical strategies to keep you on track Psychological strategies to keep you motivated. The mindsets that will lead you towards success... and the ones that will send you skidding off the rails You can do this! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

When you get married or commit yourself to a long-term relationship, you're signing on to support each other through thick and thin. If you're fortunate, most of the time things are okay: the sun shines and you live in the benevolence of the universe. But not always. Unexpected job loss, a death in the family, serious illness or infertility— these are only some of the common issues that many (most? all?) couples are going to face together at some point or another. These can be particularly challenging to cope with during the holiday season. So, today on the show, we're going there and talking about how to negotiate these hard times successfully, as a couple. Master marriage counselor, couples therapist, and relationship coach Meagan Terry, M.A., LMFT will be sharing her best relationship advice to help you both have greater empathy and compassion for each other when the chips are down. She'll be discussing communication strategies you can use to stay connected through hard times, and also some tips for how to support each other as individuals around things like illness, grief, and death, and infertility. A master career coach is also sharing her best tips for how to cope with the stress of a layoff or job loss and stay connected with your partner as you go through it. We hope that this discussion helps you find your way through this hard time together. Yours sincerely, Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

Your Holidays Will Be Good When Your Boundaries Are. In case you hadn't noticed the towering pumpkin displays in the grocery store, the catalogues and coupons clogging your mailbox, or the tinsel-spangled interiors of every store you dare step foot in... the holidays are upon us. The holidays can be so amazing: Its the time to expand our souls, embrace generosity and good will, enjoy the warmth of our families and friends, and be grateful for the wonderful relationships in our lives. And... as you well know, holidays can also be fraught with stress, overwhelm, overspending, and tense moments with family members. In my experience as both a marriage counselor and therapist (as well as personally) the "dark side" of the holiday experience often happens when people struggle to hold healthy boundaries. The Usual Suspects: Too Soft: When people are too passive and boundary-less they often wind up feeling put-upon, mistreated or disrespected by family members (or partners!) -- and resentments brew. Not fun, particularly when suppressed seething bubbles over in passive aggressive comments, or bursts out in straight up hostility. Too Hard: When people are too rigid with their boundaries, friends and family members may feel put-upon, mistreated or disrespected by them -- and tempers flare. It's not fun to feel like people are irritated and put off by you, and have no idea why. Unclear: When people struggle to hold healthy boundaries with themselves, they overcommit time and energy, have unrealistic expectations of themselves and overspend -- leaving themselves feeling stressed out, overwhelmed, and emotionally (and financially) depleted by the time New Year's rolls around. Not fun at all. Because these kinds of boundary problems are so common (and so darn avoidable, with advance planning) I thought I'd put together some holiday-specific boundary advice on this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. I'm sharing some tools to help you get your boundaries "just right," and enjoy yourself this year. I sincerely hope that it helps you avoid the pitfalls and enhance all the wonderful moments that the month ahead has to offer. From me to you, Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com Music Credits: Ty Segall, "Ceasar"

For those of you so deeply affected by the latest crazy-making experience in your toxic workplace that you're almost too stunned to type... For those of you sitting at your desk, cradling your head in your hands... For those of you frantically searching co-workers’ faces for clues, wondering if you’re the only one noticing the madness... This podcast is for you. On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm joined by expert career and executive coach. She's sharing her best career advice for how to tell if your workplace is toxic, and if so, how to survive... and ultimately move on victoriously. Links to the resources we discussed here: https://www.growingself.com/toxic-workplace-career-advice All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

In our hectic, demanding lives, it's easy to lose sight of ourselves: Who we are, how we feel and what we need. Even more challenging can be figuring out how to assert all-of-the-above in our relationships with others. This is particularly true if you've been existing in a toxic relationshipor codependent relationship, or navigating the aftermath of a bad breakup. In the midst of stressful circumstances, attaining empowerment can seem out of reach — especially when you've been focused outwards rather than within. Attaining Empowerment On today's show my colleague, therapist and life coach Teena Evert and I are talking about many of the "pieces" involved with cultivating personal empowerment, including: Mindful self-awareness Building self-loveand self-compassion Why building a sustainable self-care routineis key to maintaining your solid foundation How stress can impact your empowerment The need to create balance by staying aware of your feelings How to be assertive and set boundaries in relationships... while also being flexible Trusting yourself How to ask for what you need... while also having compassion and empathy for people you love Developing a sense of self worth that is independent of external validation How to not give your power away, blame others, or lose yourself in relationships How to not fear your own power I hope our conversation gives you insight into how to begin cultivating empowerment in your life. With love and respect, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com PS: We discussed a number of resources on the show today. Find links to them here: https://www.growingself.com/self-empowerment

Are you on pins and needles, riddled with anxiety about a new relationship? You're not alone. For most of our dating coaching clients, the "dating" part is not that hard. You put a profile together, attend social functions with a smile on your face, and you're going to have opportunities. Going on an actual date or three is not the biggest deal. What IS the biggest deal, and what our dating coaching clients really struggle with, is how to manage all the anxiety, insecurity, and angst about the unknown that comes with finding someone they really like and who they've started seeing regularly. That's when all the questions come up. Today, on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I'm tackling some of your new relationship questions in hopes of putting some of that new relationship anxiety to rest. We'll discuss: How to manage new relationship anxiety The stages of a new relationship New relationship questions When to bring up topics like dating exclusively, or how you really feel Things to look for that indicate red flags and / or compatibility When you should move forward dating someone with a history of depression or other issues (and when to fold 'em). What to do when someone you like hasn't called or texted in a while, or gives other signals that they might not be that into you How to put self-love and self-worth front and center of all new dating relationships How to move a new relationship forward without "scaring someone off" All that, and more, on the podcast. Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com PS: Resources we discussed on the show: The How Healthy is Your Relationship Quiz, and How to Cultivate Healthy Self-Love PPS: Do YOU have questions for me? Dating questions, or otherwise? Leave them in the comments: I read every one! :)

Going through a breakup can feel like emotional whiplash. One day you’re angry, the next you’re crying, and somehow you still miss the person who hurt you. If you've ever wondered, “How much more healing do I have to do?” — this episode is for you. In this deep dive, I’m walking you through the stages of a breakup so you can understand what’s happening inside you, where you are in your healing, and get the clarity on what you need to do to move forward. Breakup recovery isn’t linear — it’s layered, emotional, and sometimes messy. But when you understand the stage you’re in, you can take back your power and do the exact work your heart needs. Whether you’re still obsessing over your ex, stuck in grief, or wondering why you feel fine one minute and wrecked the next, this episode will help you normalize your experience and give you a clear roadmap to healing. Timestamps: 00:00 – Why Breakup Recovery Matters 02:35 – Who I Am and Why I Care (More Than You Know) 05:30 – My Own Breakup Story (And Why It Shaped Everything) 07:58 – The Science Behind Breakup Recovery 17:23 – The 7 Stages of Healing (and Why They're Not Linear) 19:03 – Stage 1: Craving Contact with Your Ex 23:35 – Stage 2: Deciding It's Really Over 38:02 – Stage 3: The Grief Hits (Hard) 41:08 – Stage 4: Working Through Anger, Guilt & Shame 50:04 – Stage 5: How to Stop Thinking About Your Ex 52:03 – Stage 6: Learning from the Pain (Without Blaming Yourself) 57:14 – Stage 7: Trusting Yourself to Love Again 01:05:01 – What Healing Actually Looks Like 01:09:39 – Listener Q&A: Real Breakup Stories & Support Navigating the 9 stages of a breakup can be an incredibly emotional and disorienting journey. But one thing is clear: there is a path forward and you don’t have to walk it by yourself. Here are a few resources to take the next step toward healing. 👉 Check out my free breakup recovery quiz: How Over Your Ex Are You? It’s designed to help you understand what stage of healing you’re currently in, and more importantly, what you need to focus on to move forward. Whether you’re stuck in anger, bargaining, or detachment, this quiz offers personalized insights that can help you make sense of your emotions and gain clarity on what comes next. If you're ready to talk to someone who truly understands what you're going through and can help you move forward, we’re here for you. Our team at Growing Self specializes in helping people heal from heartbreak—not just to feel better, but to grow into stronger, wiser, more empowered versions of themselves. 👉 Schedule a free consultation with one of the expert counselors or coaches on our team. This isn’t just about moving on—it’s about creating your new beginning. Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. Know someone who’s going through it right now? Share this article with a friend who could use some clarity, comfort, and hope. You never know how much a simple message can help someone feel less alone.

Break up or stay together? Who hasn't wondered the same, during a seriously difficult time in their relationship? Or, entertained an even bigger question: Should you try to save a relationship? How hard should you work? Especially a relationship that has been feeling really hard and unsatisfying for a long time? How do you know when it's time to call it quits? Because deciding whether to break up or stay together is such a hard decision, we have many questions come through from clients, listeners of our podcast, and readers of our blog wanting help in deciding if their relationship can be saved, or if it's time to throw in the towel. They want to know things like: "How long should it take to see improvement in my relationship?" "In my heart, I don't want to be married to this person anymore. Will it ever come back?" "Is what I'm seeing solvable, or is this a sign we should break up?" "Once a cheater, always a cheater? Or can you have a good relationship after infidelity?" "I'm not being treated well by my boyfriend. Can this change?" "How do I know if I've tried hard enough to save my relationship?" If you've been going through a hard time in your relationship that has led you to have doubts, I hope that this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast can help shed some light on signs that it's time to break up, or whether your relationship can be saved. Sincerely, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby P.S. We discussed a number of resources on this show. Here's where to find the links to all of them: https://bit.ly/2Pga85B

How to Create The Career and Life You Want The fall season is nearly upon us, and with it comes fresh, transformational energy. If you're like many people showing up at Growing Self for life coaching, career coaching or therapy right now, it's because this is the time of year to let go of the old, get re-aquainted with yourself, and design new goals for the next chapter of your life. To support you in your quest for personal evolution, life coach and career coach will be sharing her advice for how to move forward fearlessly in your career, your life and your relationships. On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast we're talking about: How to organize your life around what brings you the most energy and fulfillment Identifying the self limiting beliefs that may be holding you back Avoiding the common, self-sabotaging traps of perfectionism and negative self-talk Resources to help you to get clear about your values and your goals Key skills to making good decisions about where to go next with your life How to transform your personal and professional relationships Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

Miscarriage or infertility can be very hard to talk about, and the lack of support for women and couples going through it can make it even harder to know where to go for help. For this reason, I've invited Growing Self marriage counselor, therapist, women's health and fertility expert Sonya J to join me on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. We're talking about: What women who are grieving after pregnancy loss need from their partners, family and friends. How the healthcare system fails to support the emotional needs of women and couples going through the experience of miscarriage or infertility. How couples are impacted by infertility and pregnancy loss, and how they can support each other through it. How couples can protect their sexual relationship as they are dealing with infertility. The difference between simple and complex grief, and how to heal emotionally after a loss. If you've been dealing with this extremely difficult life experience, we hope that you join us and listen to this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Sincerely, Lisa Marie Bobby, PhD, LMFT, BCC www.growingself.com

Any good marriage counselor or couples therapist will tell you that sex isn't the ONLY thing in a great relationship. Friendship, teamwork, communication, emotional safety, respect, and appreciation are all fundamentally important too. And yet, even when all those strengths are present, if you're not connecting sexually over a long period of time... eventually lack of physical intimacy can erode even the best relationship. To help us understand the most common sexual problems that couples encounter, and how to resolve them, I've invited expert sex therapist Dori Bagi to speak with us on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. We'll be discussing: Why couples often have differences in sexual desire (meaning one person wants to have sex more than the other) and what you can do about it. The role that pornography can play in a relationship — both positive, and negative. Why body image and self-esteem issues are so often at the root of sexual problems, and how you can work together as a couple to resolve them. Differences in the sexual response cycle between men and women, and how understanding arousal can help you both develop a stronger sexual connection. How to talk about your sexual relationship in a healthy and constructive way. Hope this conversation helps you find your way back together again... Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

Anger Management Help "Anger issues" are a common problem for many people, and in many relationships. So today on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I've enlisted the support of my colleague Dr. Georgiana, to share her expertise about anger. Dr. Georgiana is, among other things, an Emotional Intelligence Coach, Marriage and Family Therapist, and a Life Coach too. She specializes in helping angry people learn how to get to a better place, helps couples communicate and reduce the anger and frustration in their relationships, and I'm so pleased to have her share her "anger advice" with you today too. We'll be talking about: What anger really is The different ways that "anger issues" can show up "Anger Styles:" The differences in the ways that people perceive and express anger Anger management strategies, and anger management techniques How to control anger in relationships How to manage your anger personally and in different situations How to deal with anger in other people I hope that listening to this podcast helps you learn how to manage anger, and find inner peace — both for yourself, and in your relationship. All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

Everyone has the right to growth, and to feel safe, comfortable, welcome, and understood in what should be the most healing environment of all: Therapy, life coaching or marriage counseling. However, for African Americans, people of color, and other minority groups in the U.S., that has not always been the case. Particularly for black people, getting involved in meaningful growth work can be fraught with obstacles. The time to change that is now. On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I've invited my colleagues Anastacia Sams, Teresa Thomas, and Zachary Gaiter to talk about their perspective as black therapists and black marriage counselors. We're discussing: The historical influences that have created feelings of stigma or unease for black people to get involved in therapy. How the idea of using personal growth for self improvement has not been part of black culture... And why that needs to change. How the legacy of racism has led to a culture of concealment about vulnerable topics among African Americans, and how this impacts both individuals and couples. "Black Love," the "Superwoman Syndrome," and the impact of prejudice on self-esteem, intimacy, personal responsibility, and empowerment. How affirming and healing it can be for black people to connect with a supportive black therapist, black life coach, or black marriage counselor who really understands them, where they come from, and how to help them grow. We hope you join us today on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Zachary Gaiter, M.A., LPCC, Teresa Thomas, M.A., Anastacia Sams, M.A., LMFTC and Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, LMFT www.growingself.com

Have you been considering a career change? Sometimes, the first, hardest step is getting clear about what it is that you want to do. But even with that clarity, there can be other obstacles that need to be worked through before you can find a career that you love. Questions like: Should I go back to school? How will changing careers impact my family? What career is congruent with who I really am? What am I really good at? (And can I get paid for that?) Should I take a leap, or should I make an incremental change? Should I just focus on improving the career I'm currently in? How — Or If — To Change Careers Today on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I have the great pleasure of speaking with a master career coach, an executive coach, and a life coach. She's sharing her wisdom and experience to help you figure out if it's time to make a career change, and if so, find your ideal career and transition into a job you love. Today, we're talking about: How to figure out if you're having "escape fantasies" and if so, how to avoid making mistakes in your career. The myth of the perfect career, vs what a realistic "career experience" should be. Escape fantasies vs making slight shifts Differences around career changes between men and women The utility of taking a career assessment test, or career placement test How to use your dark emotions to illuminate your career truth How to manage career challenges unique to different stages of life No matter if you're a recent graduate looking to get clarity about what you want to do with your life, if you're in an established career that you're feeling dissatisfied and discouraged with, or if you're getting back into the workforce after taking a break, you'll definitely want to hear this great career advice. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

Do you know what's standing between you and the life you want? Really? As a life coach and therapist I regularly meet with clients who show up for counseling or coaching, certain that they know what their problem is, and what needs to be done to fix it. Aaannnddd.... the next phase of the work in counseling or coaching is often helping people go further, and dig deeper to understand what the true source of "the problem" really is. (Hint: It is almost never what you think it is). Once that is revealed, we can then move to creating action-oriented strategies that will create meaningful and lasting change. They go from feeling stuck, and like they're just spinning their wheels as they ineffectively chasing after what they think is the solution to the problem, to feeling like they are actually making progress. But the first step is truly self-awareness. If you don't know what's really getting in your way, you can't possibly fix it. Can you relate? If so, you're in luck: Today on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm walking you through an activity that will raise your self-awareness, and help you "get under the hood" of your inner experience. You'll learn some new things about yourself AND get direction for how to start making changes. Here's to growth! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Your Relationship Questions, Answered. Today, we're answering your relationship questions in order to give you real help for your relationship. Here are some of the relationship questions I'm answering today: Ms M asks, "How do I know whether my relationship is worth saving, or if I should let this go and move on?" Lisa asks: "Should I stay friends with my Ex?" Mr. T asks: "I'm shutting down with my partner. How do I stop?" Ms. K asks: "I'm afraid that my boyfriend is emotionally unavailable due to his own issues. What do I do?" I mentioned many resources and links in this episode. Get access to all of them on the post for this show: https://wp.me/p6UUlQ-dmt Do you have relationship advice for these questioners or personal experiences that you can relate? Perhaps you have your own relationship questions, self-improvement questions, breakup questions, or career questions for an upcoming episode of The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast? If so, please leave them in the comments! All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

How To Improve Self Esteem How do you feel about yourself? Are you confident in your power to make good things happen in your life? Do you believe that you are just as good as anyone else? Do you trust yourself? Do you feel like you are a good person, who is worthy of love and respect? Too many people go through periods in their lives where self-confidence feels elusive. They doubt themselves. They may feel "less than" others around them. Perhaps they don't ask for what they deserve or don't feel able to take the risks that will move them forward. And as a result, they may settle for less in their relationships, their careers, and their lives. Self-esteem matters. Self-Esteem, Self-Confidence, and Self-Worth Feeling good about yourself (not in a narcissistic way, but rather in a healthy, self-accepting way) is key to having a good life. Yet many people struggle with this, and it is something that we routinely address with our therapy and life coaching clients. So, to help you cultivate healthy confidence in your own life, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I'm joined by two of my colleagues, Anastacia Sams, M.A., LMFTC and Kathleen Stutts, M.Ed., LPCC, both of whom are experts in helping people heal, grow, and restore their optimism about themselves. We're talking about how to improve your self-esteem, how to create self-confidence, how to cultivate healthy self-worth, and most importantly, how to use the healing power of self-acceptance to (paradoxically) create real and lasting change in your life. We hope this exploration helps YOU on your path of growth and healing, too. xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

Dating Coaches Get Real. Yes, modern dating can be challenging. For as constantly-connected as we all are digitally, it can still be hard to establish a genuine connection with someone new — let alone someone who's a good match for you. Whether you've been doing online dating, or spending lots of time out and about chatting up attractive strangers you know that dating in this day and age can be daunting. And... I also want you to know that dating, with intention, courage and strategy, also works. There are many great people out there, just like you, who are looking for love — and finding it. Modern dating can and does lead to love. But there are questions about dating that need to be answered first. Namely, what's the difference between the type of people that modern dating seems to work for, and those for whom love is always elusive? What are the changes that you need to make in your dating approach to get better results? So Why Am I Still Single? To get to the bottom of this, I've asked the person who understands the realities of modern dating better than anyone: Brian Howie, to join me on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Brian is the founder, host and agent provocateur of The Great Love Debate. All over the world, Brian has been amassing single men and women together in the same room (often with some relationship and dating experts thrown in) and then sparking passionate conversations between them all about what is either leading to (or getting in the way of) love and connection. Through these debates, Brian has gained a unique perspective into modern dating as well as a remarkable insight into the specific things that both men and women are unintentionally doing that either sabotage their chances of creating a meaningful new relationship.... or lead them into the arms of "the one." Listen to his expert advice, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

Do Long Distance Relationships Work? Oh yes. In fact, long-distance relationships can have strengths over in-person relationships, and be a wonderful experience for everyone involved. However, to have a successful long-distance relationship, you need to be mindful of a few key factors in order to help you both feel loved, secure and connected although the miles keep you apart. To talk all about how to make long distance relationships work, I've enlisted the support of long-distance relationship expert Brogan Crosby, M.S., LMFTC. We're talking about: Why long-distance couples can actually have strengths and advantages over other couples, especially when one or both partners are ambitious and career-focused. Some of the unique challenges that long-distance couples face and how to overcome them. What the most important factors in making long distance relationships work are, and how you can mindfully incorporate certain strategies to keep your connection strong. Strategies to use during the transitional period when you shift from a long-distance relationship to living together (or nearby). Listen to this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, and learn how to make your long-distance relationship thrive. All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

There are false myths about men that are unhelpful to everyone; themselves, the people who love them, and their relationships. So on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, our mission is to understand men and "the male experience," especially when it comes to self-development. To this end, I've enlisted the support of my fellow couples counselors, therapists and life coaches, Zachary Gaiter, and Seth Bender Here are just some of the questions about men we're discussing: Why can it be so hard to get men to open up? Is it true that men are less likely to get involved in personal growth work, or want to pursue couples counseling? How can women help the men in their lives get help if they're worried about them? What are some things that men need to figure out, that women never even think about? What are some of the things that men really need their partners to know, but might not know how to say? What is the difference between a "guy" and a "man," in terms of male identity development? And what are some of the unique situations that men may be struggling with, but that never even get discussed? All here for you, on today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

Ghosts, Zombies and Breadcrumbs, Oh My! If you've been on the modern dating scene for any time at all, you've probably become aware that the way people connect with each other is changing. Old "rules of dating" that we could once take for granted are no longer the norm. In fact, dating advice from just a few years ago might now steer you in the wrong direction if you're looking for love. On this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm joined by Match.com's lead researcher and scientific advisor Dr. Helen Fisher, as well as Denver dating coach Markie Keelan, to talk about their latest dating advice and how you can make it work for you. Here are just some of the dating questions we're discussing: What does it mean when someone you like disappears, only to show up again weeks or months later? How do a significant percentage of long-term relationships start these days? (Hint: Not with a first date!) How can you tell if you're in a "situationship" that's going to turn into a real relationship? (Or not). Why does keeping your options open sometimes reduce the chance of finding authentic intimacy? How is the evolving political landscape impacting the way people behave when they're dating? Why are some parts of the country notorious for "Ghosts, Zombies and Breadcrumbs" - and what you can do to avoid this trap? All for you, on this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

How Do You Get Over An Affair? I know it sounds hard to believe, but you can heal after infidelity, and stay together. You may not ever "get over" an affair, but you can certainly heal your relationship. It is also possible to rebuild the trust after infidelity. However.... getting past infidelity is an active process, for both partners. Time alone does not heal an affair. You cannot just "get over" infidelity. After you've been betrayed, you can't just flip a switch and put the past in the past, and trust your partner again. But you can heal, and you can trust again... when you're both doing the work of recovery, together. Real Advice For Rebuilding Trust and Security, After An Affair On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I'm sharing the ten crucial steps that every couple must take in order to repair their relationship after infidelity. I hope that this discussion creates a road-map for you to follow, as you work to reclaim your relationship, your trust, and your sense of security after an affair. With love and respect, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

Ever had your heart smashed into a million pieces... and then had zero clue what you were supposed to do next? If you're dealing with heartache and feel like you're barely keeping it together, I’m sure you have a million questions on how to move through the pain. On this episode of the Love, Happiness & Success podcast, I did something a little different. I opened my inbox — and my heart — to you. To your questions about breakups. Your stories. Your confusion, longing, grief, and pain so I could help you through the heartache and so you can start feeling like yourself again. Timestamps: 00:00 – Why this episode matters 02:35 – My Own Story of Heartbreak 08:37 – Answering Your Breakup Questions 16:31 – Should You Seek Closure or Let It Go? 28:26 – How to Deal When Your Ex Moves On 38:49 – Why Do I Feel Ashamed I’m Still Not Over It? 42:34 – I See My Ex All the Time — What Can I Do? 48:09 – Why Do I Feel Like My Ex ‘Won’ The Breakup 1:00:55 – Real-Life Breakup Stories You’ll Relate To 1:08:19 – How to Heal From Heartbreak If this episode resonated with you, here’s the most important thing you need to know: You are not stuck. There is a way forward from this pain. And it starts with understanding where you are in the healing process—and what you need next. 👉 Take My Free Heartbreak Recovery Quiz: How Over Your Ex Are You?It’s more than just a quiz. It’s a mirror held up with compassion. This quick, insightful tool helps you identify exactly what stage of healing you’re in and offers clear guidance on what your next step needs to be. Sometimes what we really need most is a real conversation. A place to say the unsayable. To unpack the confusion, the longing, the guilt, or even the hope that maybe it’s not really over. If that's where you are... 👉 You can schedule a free consultation with a compassionate, expert member of our Growing Self team—someone who specializes in breakup recovery. Whether you’re barely holding it together or starting to imagine life on the other side of this, talking to someone who understands can make all the difference. You don’t have to keep navigating this alone. You can get the support you deserve, right now. And we’re here to walk with you every step of the way. Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. If someone you care about is going through a heartbreak right now, send them this article. Sometimes, hearing they’re not alone is the best gift you can give.

How to Stop Self-Sabotage From Derailing Your Goals. Do you ever feel like your own worst enemy? Or feel frustrated that, despite having the best of intentions, you can't seem to actualize your goals? What I've learned from many years as a life coach and therapist is that when people fail it is NOT because of lack of motivation, or determination, or willpower. Most of the time it is because people are unintentionally sabotaging their own success... from day one.The worst part is that they usually have no idea that they're even doing it. The antidote is having awareness about the subtle forces that will pull you off track every time, and the practices that will help you stay on course. Using the six strategies I'll be teaching you about on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast will help you stop unintentionally sabotaging your success, and set you up to achieve your most important goals in 2018. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

It's Time To Stretch Your Soul This is a sacred time of year, no matter what your beliefs. Spiritual traditions of every flavor honor this special season. Even if you have no spiritual belief system it's still a time for reflection, generosity and new resolutions. It's a time of year for gratitude, showing others how much you love them, and thinking about who you want to grow into as the next year spins into focus -- for everyone. It's also the perfect time to cultivate the practice of unconditional love. In the near future, you will likely have fork-in-the-road moments with friends, family, your kids, siblings, and your partner, in all their disappointing, annoying, frustrating, and hurtful humanity. At these moments you can choose judgment or empathy; contempt or compassion; anger or acceptance; grudge-holding or forgiveness. Its easy to love when your ego is stroked, when you feel gratified, and when you're awash in pleasurable "loving" feelings. But the heart of every religion teaches us that our purpose here is something else: To love when it’s hard. It can be challenging to stay compassionate and understanding with people who behave badly. The grand, beautiful paradox of this time of year is that -- with all it's unique stressors -- you will have many opportunities to practice staying soft and loving in the face of challenging relational moments. Accept the Challenge of Unconditional Love Choosing love even when it's hard feels selfless, but truthfully, you're the one who wins. Choosing love expands your soul, softens your spirit, and makes you a happier person. In giving love, you receive it -- whether or not anyone else participates. Learning how to do this will not only help others, make you feel good, improve your relationships, and contribute to world peace... it will help you grow into the self-actualized, "best self" that you were meant to be. With love to you, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com The Season For Unconditional Love: Listen Now Music Credits: The Kronos Quartet, Black Angels: "Spem in Alium" P.S. Are you on the Love, Happiness and Success Express? Sign up on my website and I'll send you a monthly roundup with the latest from the blog.

What to Do, When The Dark Season Brings Dark Emotions In the months leading up to the holidays, and in the months after, many people struggle with "dark emotions" such as depression, grief, and sadness. There are many reasons for this, including the reality of Seasonal Affective Disorder, changes to many people's health and nutrition habits in the wintertime, and the fact that for many people the holiday season often brings with it unique stressors and emotional triggers. Many people dealing with hard life transitions like a breakup or divorce struggle during their first holiday alone. For others, bittersweet memories of years past and lost loved ones infuse the season with feelings of grief and loss. All these experiences are normal, and natural. Many, many people are dealing with these feelings privately as they go through the motions of making merry. However, because these extremely common feelings are not often discussed publicly, many people experiencing them can feel isolated as a result. On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, we're breaking the silence and talking openly about this common experience, and how to move past it. We'll be discussing how to deal with dark emotions in a healthy way: when to lean into painful feelings, and how to work through them productively. We'll talk about the difference between situational depression and the symptoms of major depressive disorder, how to get a handle on seasonal affective disorder, how to work through the stages of grief, and the natural remedies for depression that can help you feel healthier and happier. Wishing you all the best on your journey of growth and healing, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

Start the New Year Strong, and Inspired As a life coach who specializes in helping people grow and make positive changes in their lives, I'm well aware that every new year brings with it a wonderful opportunity to take stock of your life, get connected with your core values, get re-focused on your goals, and craft a plan to achieve them. Most people have a renewed sense of hope and motivation around their New Year's resolutions, which — when given the right tools — increases their chances of being successful in achieving big, positive changes. But it can be hard to set (much less achieve) your New Year's goals. Many times people make New Year's resolution lists that are not tied to their deepest values, meaning they list the things they think they should want — or that other people want them to do. These are never successful, because they're not tied to your authentic wants and needs. Other times, people do have clarity about what they want to achieve, but their "grand plans" fall apart because their aspirations are not tied to a concrete, doable action plan. But neither of those sad fates will happen to you. Because today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast is all about supporting you in your New Year's resolutions success. I'll be walking you through my "Start Your New Year Strong" free mini life coaching session so that YOU can get clarity about what you want for yourself over this next year, and also make a concrete plan for how to create it. Note: This is an "active" podcast meaning that I'll be walking you through some exercises to gain self awareness and make specific plans. Before you start listening, please click on this link to download the free pdf worksheet so that you can do these exercises with me today. You Have The Power to Make Amazing Things Happen in Your Life I'm excited to share this activity with you. My hope is that you'll leave our time together feeling inspired, energized, and with some tools and concrete new strategies to help you make great things happen for yourself in 2018. With love and respect, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

How To Handle Challenging Relationships Over the Holidays Ahoy there! As I'm sure you're well aware, the holidays are fast approaching. If you're like many (most?) of our life coaching, therapy, and marriage counseling clients, over the past few weeks you've probably had lots of questions on your mind about how to handle this time of year - especially when it comes to managing your most important family relationships. While family holidays have the potential to be fun and meaningful opportunities for connection, they can also be fraught with delicate and/or infuriating interpersonal dilemmas for many people. You want to have close relationships with your family or in-laws, and at the same time, it can feel very challenging to navigate the high-intensity holiday season without your family pushing your buttons, and firing off your emotional triggers. Because of having had bad experiences in holidays past, many people can spend weeks, if not months, leading up to the holidays in a state of "holiday anxiety." We have had a number of thoughtful and heartfelt questions come in recently from our listeners, readers, and clients about how to handle various relationship situations over the holidays. As a little holiday "care package" for them and for you, I'll be putting on my family therapist hat and addressing them on today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Here are some of the questions our listeners (and clients) have been asking lately. I chose these questions in particular because I think that so many people can relate to them... Grandparents Not Respecting Parents "Dr. Lisa, I love my husband's family. They are so kind, and generous with us. At the same time, I feel that they do not respect our (especially my) authority as parents. In our home we have expectations for our kid's behavior, and also set limits around things like junk food. I feel that my husband's parents disregard these completely, even when we directly ask them to. The grandparents are overstepping boundaries. In particular, my mother in law is controlling and overbearing. It doesn't matter what I say or how I feel. My husband tells me that it's just the way she is and to go along with it. But I am so frustrated when I'm around her. I need him to set boundaries with his family and he won't. I need to be setting boundaries for grandparents. We are going to be staying with them for a week. Help!" How Do I Deal With My Judgmental Family "How do I deal with nosy questions? Even if they are well-meaning, I feel like my family does not get me at all, and like they're always judging me and my choices." Spending Christmas Alone After Divorce "This is my first holiday after my divorce, and I feel really sad. All I can think about are holidays I had with my Ex. My friends are busy with their families. I feel lonely. I think I am starting to get "holiday depression" over it. What do I do?" Toxic Parents: Do I Avoid My Family Over the Holidays? "I want to have a good relationship with my family, but over the years I have become aware that I have toxic parents. I believe they may even be narcissistic parents. Both of my parents are critical and judgmental of me. My mother can literally be abusive towards me. She is also completely codependent. I have dealt with it in the past by avoiding family gatherings, and avoiding my family during the holidays. My friends have told me I should cut off family entirely, and honestly I have considered cutting family out of my life. I don't want to do that, but I don't know what else to do to protect myself from my toxic family." Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents "My parents are the nicest people ever but they drive me crazy. My mom is constantly complaining about her health, and then I watch her sit on her butt all day and eat junk food. She is seriously overweight, has high blood pressure, is pre-diabetic, and will not do anything about it. My father constantly interrupts people. He drinks too much. He talks with his mouth full. My parents are not in a great place financially, and spend way too much money on our kids during the holidays and they make bad financial choices in general. I am literally embarassed by my parents. I want to help them but when I say anything they shut me down. All my "holiday stress" is tied to my frustrating family. How do I deal with this?" I answer all these questions on today's podcast. Listen, and get some advice for how to manage all of these challenging family situations with love, compassion, tolerance and strength. Do you have follow up questions for me? Or comments? Please share them on the blog! All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. Here's a link if you want to check out one of the resources discussed on today's show. Crucial Conversations; Tools For Talking When the Stakes Are High, by Patterson, Grenny, McMillan & Switzler

Single During the Holidays? As a breakup expert and dating coach, I know all too well that many single people — particularly newly single people — often dread the holiday season, envisioning themselves enduring the upcoming string of holiday celebrations without a +1. But truly, there is no need to worry about feeling lonely during the holidays. If you're single, and want to be in a new relationship, the holiday season is actually a fantastic, highly advantageous time for you to connect with a new love. Why is dating during the holidays such a great time to launch a beautiful new relationship? Three main reasons: 1. You have the opportunity to meet more people in person, because of all the holiday gatherings and events happening at this time of year. 2. Many, many other singles (fun, beautiful, desirable, successful singles just like you) are also feeling motivated to connect right now and are putting themselves out there too. But there's more: Match.com consistently finds that the Sunday after New Year's is the single most popular day for people to create new online dating profiles. They see a 30-40% increase in their membership on that one day alone. If you get your act together now, you'll have the pick of the litter come January. 3. Possibly most importantly, you have a legitimate reason to wear sequins, sparkles, and / or hilariously ugly holiday sweaters. (All of which are fantastic conversation starters, making it extremely easy for anyone to start up a conversation with you.) You could totally walk up to this guy and talk to him about his bells and puff-balls. Or maybe just give him a hug. In short: If you've been sitting on the sidelines, feeling discouraged about the dating game, now's the time to get off the bench and take another swing at finding love. And today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast is going to help you do just that. Free Advice From a Dating Coach There are just a few keys to successful dating: Clarity, Chemistry, Connection, and Evaluation. We're going to be talking about each of these today to get you prepared to be your best self as you head into this sparkling season, ripe with potential for new love. I'll be putting on my "dating coach" hat to give you some advice on how to get clear about who you want to meet, and how to attract them. We'll also be discussing the all-important "chemistry factor" and what YOU need to be thinking about and doing to wow all the attractive new people you're about to meet, and leave them wanting more of you. Additionally, we'll be talking about how to make the most of all your opportunities for connection. You'll have natural "IRL" opportunties this season, in the form of parties and holiday events, as well as the chance to freshen up your online dating profile. Because your photos will make-or-break your success with online dating, I've invited professional portrait photographer Kelly Weaver (who specializes in online dating profile photos) to give you her top tips for getting some fantastic new photos for your profile. After that, we'll also be discussing the downsides of being so gorgeous and irresistible, which is how to competently handle all the attention you're getting — not to mention the sheer volume of messages and invitations you might be flooded with. No really, having a solid plan in place to manage all the back-and-forth without acquiring a bunch of pen-pals, and quickly figure out who's a good fit for you and who's not will help you focus your energy on the people who are a match for you. Lot's to learn about dating during the holidays, on this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Listen now... xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com Ps: Do you have a follow up question or comment related to this podcast? Join the conversation!

How to Cope, in a World Where Bad Things Happen Like so many of you, I too was shocked and horrified by the events of last week when so many innocent lives were taken in the Las Vegas shooting. Among other things, it led me to scrap last Monday's podcast plans and create this one for you instead: Some advice for how to deal mentally and emotionally when terrible things happen. I hate it that we live in a world where this even needs to be addressed, but it does. Together, over the past years, we've been through so much. Shootings. Natural disasters. Terrorist Attacks. War. Human Suffering. In our day-to-day lives we're all under assault; choking down an endless barrage of information about all the latest horrors ... but with no guidance for how to cope with it all, emotionally. Death is the only wise advisor that we have. -- Carlos Castaneda, Journey to Ixtlan Our counseling and coaching clients here at Growing Self have the luxury of being able to process all of it, and get actionable advice for how to manage the grief, the fear, and the anger. And most importantly, our clients have support in channeling all those dark feelings into something positive and empowering. I believe that you deserve the same. So today, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I thought I'd offer you some of the same ideas we've been teaching our private clients lately about how to cope, during these dark times. Listen now, and learn: Strategies for dealing with grief and horror in the days after a tragedy Ways to regain your sense of empowerment, safety, and control How to use difficult times to get clarity about your core values Anxiety management tips to ground yourself Inspiration for how to be a force of good in the world Theses ideas help me personally, they help our clients, and I sincerely hope that they help you, too. With love and respect, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby