Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

How do you relate to others? Are you unknowingly getting involved with people who are only going to hurt you? How do romantic partners experience you — good, bad, and ugly? How can you release self-limiting patterns in relationships so that you can create a healthy, secure, long-term connection? Understanding your attachment style can provide you with answers to all these questions. Listen and learn about attachment styles, what they mean for you, and don't forget to text "ATTACH" to 55444 to get the Attachment Style Assessment to uncover your own patterns in relationships. All for you, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

Are you in a relationship with someone who has issues they're not getting help for? It is painful to watch someone you love struggle, and it's also frustrating when you're not getting your needs met in a relationship. How do you help someone who won't help themselves? How long do you wait? When does being "supportive" slide into being "codependent?" When do you call it quits and move on? All that and more, on this episode. Wishing you all the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Are you seeking to increase your social circle with true-blue friends who have your back? (And weed out the selfish people who take more than they give?) On today's episode of the Love, Happiness & Success podcast, Val Walker is here to share expert advice for how to cultivate relationships with friends you can count on. In this emotionally intimate interview, Val talks about the moment she realized she had "400 Friends & No One To Call" (the title of her latest book), and how it launched her intentional, successful creation of a supportive community of meaningful friendships. Val has so much fantastic advice to share with you for how to build up a community of support for yourself. I hope you listen! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

Most busy professionals feel they don't have the luxury to "just hang out." Yet investing in healthy friendships is one of the single most impactful things you can do to improve your mental, emotional, and even physical health. To support YOU in your understanding of the importance of healthy friendships, and to deepen you understanding of what it really takes to build supportive relationships in your life, I’ve invited science journalist and author Lydia Denworth to speak with me about her new book, “Friendship: The Evolution, Biology, and Extraordinary Power of Life’s Fundamental Bond.” She shares what her painstaking research has uncovered about why friendships are so important to us, the risks of neglecting your friendships, the impact of friendships on children and adolescents, and — perhaps most importantly — concrete strategies for how to build and nurture your friendships during social distancing. Listen, and learn about the importance of healthy friendship and how to build strong friendship connections in your own life. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

How to Deal With Cultural Differences in a Relationship As a marriage counselor and couples therapist l know that all relationships bring a variety of challenges and opportunities for growth. At the same time, some couples — particularly those in cross-cultural relationships — feel that they have further to go in bridging the gap. It’s very easy for couples to get entrenched in conflict rooted in a core belief of “right and wrong” when it comes to how to approach various aspects of their shared life. This can be especially true around hot-button issues such as: “How much influence should my mother-in-law have in our family?” “How do we handle money as a couple?” “How do we parent our children together?” “How do we communicate with each other when we’re stressed?” “Who is in charge of what, around our home?” “How do we handle racial prejudice directed at one of us, or our children?” To tackle these questions, and provide some direction for how to begin building bridges to the center, I’ve asked some multicultural relationship experts to join me for this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Growing Self relationship coaches Dr. Georgiana Spradling, MFT, Tania Chikhani, M.A, and Teresa Thomas, M.A. often work with cross-cultural couples and interracial couples, and have great relationship advice for how to create peace and harmony in your gloriously diverse family. All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

We are living in historic times. In the midst of a global pandemic, our country is also fighting another battle: One that seeks to shine a light on injustice and systemic racism, end abuse and discrimination of Black Americans and other people of color, and begin the hard work of healing. This reality brings up questions that need to be answered: How can a person of color cope with feelings of anger and pain due to being directly impacted by (or bearing witness to) racial injustice in our society? What are some strategies that Black Americans can use to stay empowered in their relationships, and to make informed, affirming decisions that honor their needs and rights? Where do you turn for safety, support and understanding in a divided and uncertain world? How can people of color honor the reality of the past and present, and also remain hopeful about the future? Growing Self therapists Teresa Thomas, M.S., and Zachary Gaiter, M.S., LPCC tackle these questions and more, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Join us! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

Ever feel like your ex is living rent-free in your head, even though the relationship is so over? Whether it’s been weeks, months, or (gulp) years since your breakup, if you’re wondering “Why do I keep thinking about my ex?” and you’re still caught in a loop of thoughts, memories, or even fantasies about them, I made this episode just for you. I know firsthand — both as a therapist and from my own experience — that getting stuck on an ex is exhausting. But there is a path forward. In this episode of Love, Happiness and Success, I’m walking you through exactly why this happens (spoiler alert: it’s not your fault — it’s biology), and more importantly, how to finally break free so you can move forward into peace, clarity, and emotional freedom. Timestamps: 00:00 – Why Do I Keep Thinking About My Ex? 06:30 – Love and Addiction: Your Brain on Heartbreak 14:58 – The Truth About Breakup Recovery 28:17 – Emotional Loose Ends: The Silent Saboteur 38:05 – Rebuilding Your Self & Reclaiming Your Future 48:14 – You’re Not Doomed to Keep Thinking About Your Ex If your ex is still living rent-free in your mind, please know you don’t have to stay stuck here. The first step to getting your power back is understanding exactly where you are in your healing process. That’s why I created a free tool just for you. 👉 Take the Breakup Quiz: How Over Your Ex Are You? In just a few minutes, this quiz will show you which stage of healing you’re in — and what specific steps will help you move forward. Whether you're still in emotional withdrawal or starting to let go, you'll get personalized insight and a roadmap for what to do next. And, if you're tired of spinning in circles, overthinking every memory, every mistake, every what-if — you don’t have to navigate this alone. Sometimes, the fastest way to start feeling better is simply talking to someone who truly gets it. Our team at Growing Self includes licensed therapists and breakup recovery coaches who specialize in this kind of healing work. 👉 Schedule a Free Consultation — to talk to one of the experts on our team and take the next brave step toward peace, healing, and freedom. You deserve to feel like yourself again. And yes, it’s absolutely possible to stop thinking about your ex — not because you forced yourself to forget, but because you’ve grown into someone who no longer needs to hold on. And you can start your healing today. Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. If you know someone who keeps spiraling over their ex, share this with them. Forward the link, post it on your story, or send them a little nudge. Be the friend who helps them start healing.

We all hear “You have to love yourself first.” But what if you don't know how to love yourself? This episode is all about authentic self love: What it really means, why having compassion and care for yourself matters so much, and how to love yourself even if (and especially if) you don't always feel like it. You are worthy of love and respect, and today's podcast will help you build your relationship... with yourself. With love and gratitude for the gift that is YOU, xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com P.S. — For even more support in creating a healthy, loving relationship with yourself, check out my “cultivating self-confidence” collection. You'll find articles and advice about confidence and self-esteem, plus podcast playlists I put together for you.

Feeling Trapped? When you're in a situation you're unhappy in but feel that the exits are blocked and that you have no good options, it's easy to feel trapped. Perhaps you're in an unhappy relationship, but can't leave. Or you feel forced to stay in a job you hate. Or your circumstances are limiting your empowerment and growth. When change feels futile, or impossible, it's easy to feel helpless, disempowered, and trapped. Does this sound familiar at all? If so, you're not alone. We all hit a wall sometimes. The good news is that there is a way out. Through using your creativity and giving yourself permission to entertain new thoughts, you'll either find new solutions... or inner peace. Listen, and learn about how to get unstuck when you're feeling trapped on this episode of the podcast. Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

Is your partner threatening divorce? Are you? If so this is certainly a relationship crisis... but not necessarily the end. In fact, when couples are on the brink of divorce, it can be a turning point for a marriage. On this episode, I'm sharing some from-the-heart advice learned from my years as a marriage counselor about things you can do to stop this runaway train, and have new conversations with your partner to start the process of healing. I am also aware that there are situations where you cannot stop a divorce if your partner has made up their mind. I also have some advice for how to handle this, and offer some concrete strategies for having the healthiest and most collaborative parting as possible. I hope that all the advice helps you find your way through this confusing, and scary time, and that the path forward is one of growth for you -- no matter how things unfold. With love and respect, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

Feeling bad and being depressed are not the same thing. What some call "dark emotions" — grief, sadness, disappointment, regret, hurt — aren't just a normal part of life. They're actually essential to it. Uncomfortable feelings are often what push us toward change, growth, and a deeper understanding of who we are and what we need. When you sit with those feelings instead of running from them, something meaningful can happen. That's not depression. That's being human. What Is Depression? Depression is something else entirely. Unlike the difficult emotions that can spark insight and growth, depression isn't instructive or motivating — it's an illness. It affects the way you think, feel, and function, and it doesn't come with a silver lining. In fact, depression often needs to be addressed and treated before real personal growth becomes possible at all. In this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I'm breaking down what depression actually is — and what it isn't. I'll walk you through how to recognize the symptoms in yourself or someone you love. How to Tackle Depression We'll also cover what to do if you think depression might be affecting your life — including natural remedies, cognitive behavioral therapy, and when medication makes the most sense. I'll also talk about how to support a partner or loved one who may be struggling. Depression exists on a spectrum, and at its most serious, it can become life-threatening. If you or someone you love needs help right now, please reach out: Colorado Crisis Hotline: 1-844-493-8255 National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255 My hope is that this episode helps you get clarity on what you're going through — and if depression is part of your story, that it leaves you feeling hopeful and ready to take your next step. Depression is very treatable, and you don't have to face it alone. Lisa Marie Bobby

Intentional Living: Without and Within On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast (as well as other episodes to come), I'm providing you with new ideas and growth activities that will help you move yourself forward on a deep level, while the world around us stops. To begin, I'm speaking with my dear Olivia, the mastermind behind Decluttered Intentions, about simple things you can do to: Create organization and order in your personal space Cultivate spaciousness and peace inside of yourself Release the opportunity to bury yourself in busyness Understand your patterns and ways of relating to the world Create order in your routines Curate your thinking patterns in a way to create gratitude, appreciation, and contentment. Connect with your dreams so that you can design a sanctuary within your home that nourishes you from the inside out. I hope that these ideas and activities help YOU use this special, quiet time to move forward on your journey of growth. All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Ps: One of the resources I mentioned in this episode is my "What's Holding You Back" assessment, that gives you insight into your personal strengths and growth opportunities in a variety of domains. Text "GROW" to 55444 if you'd like to take it. xoxo, LMB

FINDING BALANCE: We want to have everything. We want and need to have rules and structure to protect us and guide our lives. Yet we also crave freedom and independence. We long to have empathy and compassion in our relationships,but we also want to be challenged so that we can grow. Finding Balance In All Things Tight vs. Loose. Protective vs. Forgiving. Planning vs. Being Present. Everything we do exists on a continuum, a spectrum of finding balance between extremes so that we can create a healthy path on every level. Dr. Michele Gelfand is the author of "Rule Makers, Rule Breakers: How Tight and Loose Cultures Wire Our World," she's been on the stage of TedEx, she's been featured on The Hidden Brain podcast, and now she's here with me to share her wisdom with YOU. I hope her fascinating insights help you find a healthy balance in your life. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

Let's face it: Couples and money is a hot-button issue for many relationships. Sooner or later, all successful long-term couples need to work together to figure out how to communicate productively about money so that they can get on the same page and create a shared financial future. This is not always easy under the best of circumstances. Now, many couples are facing financial uncertainty or even a financial crisis (thanks coronavirus). It's more important than ever to be working as a united team around finances so that your relationship stays strong and healthy... even if your bank account takes a hit. To help you have constructive, drama free conversations about money with your partner, I've invited my colleague Meagan Terry to give us the scoop on exactly what to do (and what NOT to do) in order to have loving, respectful, and effective conversations about finances that create unity and connection. Meagan is a highly experienced marriage counselor who has helped countless couples stop financial conflict and get on the same page around money. Now she's here for YOU. Listen, and get her actionable tips you can start using today! With love, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

ADVICE FROM A CAREER COACH | In addition to everything else in your life being upended by the coronavirus pandemic, you probably have a slew of new "coronavirus career anxieties" in addition to the usual coronavirus anxiety that's buzzing inside everyone right now. Many people are very worried about their career future right now. Many jobs have been lost to coronavirus, and with the threat of recession, there may be more layoffs to come. (Read: Coping With a Layoff) For those among us lucky enough to have stable employment, we now figure out how to maintain our professionalism via online video meetings, work from home while balancing childcare, homeschooling and more. In times like these it's absolutely normal to be worried about work, and help is here. Advice From a Career Coach Today I've tapped a couple of my career coaching colleagues to discuss important questions like: What to do if you lost your job How to get a bridge job right now if you need one How to use this time to develop yourself professionally and make long term career plans How to protect your long-term career goals from coronavirus, if they're getting derailed right now Managing anxiety about your career Best practices when working from home for online video meetings Balancing work and life when you're working from home And more! Join us for some timely coronavirus career advice on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

Breakups are painful enough on their own — but for many people, the real struggle begins after the split. The sleepless nights, the mental replay of every conversation, the desperate search for answers. And underneath it all, two haunting questions: Will I ever feel okay again? And when? Because so much of my work centers on breakup and divorce recovery, I hear from a lot of people who are deep in that pain. But recently, one listener of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast reached out in a way that genuinely stopped me in my tracks. She had read my book "Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to An Ex Love" and still had questions — so instead of sending an email, she recorded a heartfelt video sharing them. Watching her speak so openly, I kept thinking: she's not the only one going through this. I reached out to ask if I could share her recording on the podcast so others in the same boat could hear the answers too. She graciously said yes — and this episode is the result. If you're navigating a breakup and find yourself asking things like... How do I let go of guilt and regret over what happened? How do I rebuild my self-esteem after rejection? How do I handle running into my ex's friends? How do I cope when I never saw the breakup coming? Will I ever feel genuinely hopeful about love again? ...this episode of the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast was made for you. My hope is that this conversation gives you something real to hold onto on your road to healing. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

Coronavirus anxiety? Struggling with the new reality of "Corona Life?" You're not alone. I recently polled some of my tribe on Instagram to see how they were doing mentally and emotionally during the Coronavirus crisis we are all experiencing together. In efforts to help you manage Coronavirus anxiety and cultivate emotional resilience, I am devoting this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast to addressing your questions about coping with "Coronavirus Life" in order to provide new ideas and direction. Specifically: "I am freaking out about Coronavirus. How do I stop worrying about getting sick? Or being worried that people I love will get Coronavirus?" "I'm having anxiety about separation during the Coronavirus quarantine, and I am so sad about being cut off from everyone. What do I do?" "What are some of the best self-care strategies for dealing with Coronavirus stress?" "Being cooped up at home with my spouse is taking a toll on my relationship. How do we handle the stress of this situation without damaging our relationship?" "I'm so worried about my financial future thanks to Coronavirus. What do I do?" "Coronavirus has destroyed my life. I can't deal with the uncertainty of not knowing what is happening." I'm answering these listener questions and sharing some special, free resources for my listeners (You!!) on this episode. I hope this discussion and the resources I'm sharing helps you find new coping skills, and practices that help build a firm foundation of emotional resilience inside yourself right now. Wishing you all the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Knowing how to handle inevitable issues that creep into every relationship makes all the difference in whether your relationship becomes stronger over time... or strained. The truth is that all couples need to learn "how" to do relationships, and there are a few core skills that are essential. My guests today are expert premarital counselors who are sharing their best advice for the things every couple must do to keep their relationship strong and healthy for the long haul. Whether you're in a newly committed relationship or have been married for years, I hope you listen to this episode! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

Do you feel like it's hard to manage the stress of it all? If you're like so many of our high-achieving type-A life coaching and therapy clients here at Growing Self, you probably have days when you're feeling spread thin. How do you create a sustainable way of being that allows you to not just do the things that you need to do but manage your life in such a way that you don't constantly feel like a frantic stress-ball? My guest on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, Marilyn Paul, PhD, is here to show us how. Listen to get insights and tips, and compassionate, empowering ideas that you can use ASAP to cultivate calm and order in your life, so that you can feel genuinely stress free from the inside out. Your partner in growth, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Super quick announcement to let you know that, due to some unforeseen technical issues, the "How Healthy is Your Relationship" Quiz I've mentioned on a number of podcasts is now available by texting RELQUIZ to 33777. The old number (345345) is no longer operational as of 2/28/20. You can also access the quiz on the GrowingSelf.com website. I hope this change did not create any confusion or inconvenience for you. Okay, that's all -- I'll be back in touch with a new *actual* podcast for you on Monday! xoxo, LMB

LEAVING a TOXIC RELATIONSHIP? Or thinking about it? If so, my heart goes out to you: You've already been through the wringer. As a therapist who specializes in toxic relationship addiction, and having researched and written a breakup recovery book, I know from years of experience that when you're addicted to a toxic relationship, it messes with your mind. Toxic relationships trash your self esteem. They damage your ability to trust. But even worse, after tolerating months or even years in a toxic relationship it can make you feel like you can't even trust your own judgement anymore. In order to provide you with the empowering support and perspective that can support YOUR growth and recovery, I've invited writer Shannon Ashley to join me on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Shannon is not the type of "official" relationship expert that I often have on the show — she's so much more. She's a fellow traveler who has walked through the fire, and come out the other side. She has been able to give a voice to the experience that you're going through, and she has a unique perspective on what it really takes to heal from a toxic relationship. I'm so pleased that she's here to share her hard won wisdom with YOU today. Wishing you all the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

There's a unique type of existential anxiety brewing in younger professionals lately who consider their career future and wonder, "Are robots coming for my job?" To help you move forward fearlessly into a bright professional future, I've invited future-focused career coach Nicolle Merrill to speak with us. She's here today to share her best future career advice with you, including: Insight into what types of future careers are more vulnerable to AI and automation than others How to balance passion and practicality as you're developing your career goals What to do if you create your ideal career... and then realize you hate your job How to manage anxiety about your future career How to develop your emotional intelligence How to reduce the risk when making a big career change The types of skill sets and personal qualities that will always be in high demand All that and more, as we discuss YOUR career future on the latest episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

If you want to create a fantastic relationship, there's one irreplaceable ingredient that you must have: Emotional safety. If you have emotional safety everything from communication to intimacy feels so much easier. But without it, everything feels like a battle. Today, on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I'm going to share the secrets behind how to create emotional safety in your relationship. We'll be discussing: What emotional safety is, and why it's important How to determine if your relationship is emotionally safe or not How to begin increasing the emotional safety in your relationship Understanding what behaviors will damage emotional safety How to use the principles of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy to improve your relationship Happy Valentine's Day! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com PS: If you want to take the free "How Healthy is Your Relationship" assessment I mention in this episode, text RELQUIZ to 345345 to get the link.

If you started the new year with ambitious goals and aspirations that are already on life-support, or have been abandoned altogether: CONGRATULATIONS. Only now do you have the real-world information you need to reassess your situation, gain more clarity, and tweak your approach. To help you figure out how to achieve your most ambitious goals for real, I've invited master life coach Laurie Gerber of The Handel Group to share her tips for how to use setbacks to understand yourself more deeply, and shine a spotlight on the mental, emotional and practical strategies that will help you achieve your most ambitious goals. Listen and learn: How creating multidimensional, holistic self-awareness can help you uncover blindspots that could otherwise become obstacles. Why the obvious path to change is often not effective (and what often unseen things actually are) How to get your thoughts, feelings and behavior into alignment Different ways of thinking that will help you stay motivated over the long haul I hope that this conversation helps YOU dig deeper, get into alignment, and get clarity about where to refocus your energy. Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby PS: We discussed a number of resources in this episode. One of them is our free Ten Year Plan exercise. If you haven't done this yet, here's the link to get the pdf or access to the online version.

The path to wellness can be a long and challenging one if you're dealing with a chronic health condition... particularly one that does not have an obvious cause or simple solution. Dealing with these kinds of health issues requires an enormous amount of strength, courage, and persistence — all of which can be hard to come by when you're at a low point, physically. If you or someone you love is going through this, help is here. My colleague at Growing Self, Amy-Noelle Shih, M.A., LPC is a holistic, empowering therapist and life coach who specializes in supporting people on their journey back to health, and is sharing her empowering advice with you on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. All for you... Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

How would you describe your relationship... with money? Secure? Anxious? Toxic? Neglected? Or... Easy? We all carry subconscious thoughts, feelings and values around money that impact our way of relating to it. Financial therapy helps you uncover these powerful inner forces, so that you can create a healthy money mindset so that you can feel empowered and in control of your finances. Financial therapy for couples helps you stop the "money fights" and get on the same page with your partner around money. Today's guest, financial therapist Jennifer Dunkle, is here to explain how YOU can develop a healthy money mindset — both individually, and as a couple — so that you can achieve your financial goals.

Human beings are built to bond — but we can also develop powerful bonds to unhelpful behaviors, toxic people, and even substances of abuse. Understanding the power of connection can help you break unhealthy attachments, and cultivate empowering, energizing new ones. Here's how... Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I have a special gift for both premarital couples AND couples on the brink of divorce: A special interview with Jim Sexton, author of "How to Stay in Love." Jim has a unique perspective — he has spent years working as a divorce lawyer and has sat with countless couples who are in the process of ending their marriage. Through these experiences he gained insight into the biggest mistakes couples can make,the most important things you can do to prevent a divorce, and key things that couples can do to keep their relationship healthy and strong. I hope this episode helps you understand your marriage in a new way, and provides some direction for how to repair your bond if things have been feeling hard lately. All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

It's a brand new DECADE! To celebrate, we're doing something special in this episode: I'm going to walk you, step by step, through a "growth experience" that will help you create your very own Ten Year Plan so that you have clarity about where you want to be (and how to get there!) over the next ten years. To help you get the most out of this, I've created some free resources to assist you: Text 10YPlan to 33777 OR visit GrowingSelf.com/My-Ten-Year-Plan to get access to my (totally free) Online 10 Year Planning Tool and / or printable pdf. Then, together, we'll walk through this powerful activity together. By the end you'll have new self-awareness, clarity about what you want, but, most importantly, knowledge about specifically what you need to do (and not do!) to achieve your ideal reality 10 years from now. Let's do this! And HAPPY NEW YEAR! Your partner in growth, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

It's so easy — especially for smart, determined, proactive and successful people — to spend a lot (a LOT) of time and energy pursuing goals that, at the end of the day, are not actually the most important or meaningful ones to them. Sounds crazy, but it's true: We're all vulnerable to absorbing messages from our families, social media, our culture, and certainly the combined efforts of many savvy marketers about what we should want. About who we should be. About what we should do with our lives. You Are The Author of Your Own Life Story At the end of the day, buying in to someone else's hopes and dreams for your life can lead you down the wrong path. Even if you — by virtue of your intelligence, determination, and hard work — are successful in creating all of it and achieving the ideals that you were handed, they will still feel hollow to you. Because they were never genuinely meaningful and important to YOU. And you will have spent so much of your precious time, energy, love, and devotion to achieving goals that — at the end of the day — could have been spent creating the life and reality that was your heart's desire. You deserve better. You deserve to own your own goals and create a destiny that will lead to your heart overflowing with authentic happiness and gratitude. You deserve, at the very end of your precious life, to have zero regrets.You deserve to feel pride and appreciation for what you have created, and what will last long after your time on this earth has passed. How to Design Your Life Around What Matters Most To help you create this reality — the clear-eyed pursuit and attainment of the goals that are actually the most important and precious to YOU — I have a very special gift for you. On the latest episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I had the honor and pleasure of interviewing a very wise and insightful man, author Chris Meyer. Chris has a fascinating story: He spent many years as the director of a funeral home. (Stay with me here!) Over the years, he sat with many families as they planned their final goodbyes. He sat with people who were dying, and grieving families, and heard their stories — their gratitude, and their regrets, and the profound insights into what really mattered.... from the perspective of looking back on their lives. Today, he is here to share these insights directly with YOU. He is bringing you the messages from people at the end, so that YOU can design your life with intention, clarity and love, and maintain you focus on what really matters most to you. It's a heartfelt gift for you, on this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. I sincerely hope that it helps you get clarity and self-awareness for how you'd like to design YOUR life as we enter into a new decade, together. With love, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Let's face it: We all have moments. Moments when we feel (justifiably!) angry or frustrated with other people, and moments when we lose our cool. While everyone is in agreement that there is a time and place for healthy anger, sometimes the lines can get blurred around when you're setting appropriate limits.... and when you're probably being unnecessarily aggressive about making your feelings known. How do we find that balance? The balance between not being a pushover and having a right to your feelings, but also having compassion for other people? Especially (here's the hard part) other people who may not be behaving well themselves. It's challenging for all of us. (#lifegoals!) The easy thing to do in the face of conflict is to lash out in anger, push people away, or freeze people out. It's much harder to stay in the ring and find a path of mutual understanding and repair. On the latest episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I had the great pleasure of speaking with NYC-based psychoanalyst Dr. Mark Borg about this subject, and his insights into how to lead a more compassionate life. Dr. Borg is the author of the book, "Don't Be a Dick: Change Yourself, Change Your World" and he shared thoughtful strategies for how to: Gain the authentic self-awareness necessary to catch yourself when you're slipping into unnecessary "dickishness" How to handle challenging interpersonal situations with grace and tact The mindset that will help you stay compassionate with people who are not behaving well Strategies to handle extremely triggering situations with your family around the holidays (without getting sucked into conflict) How to use the power of empathy for yourself, and others, in order to make the world a better place I hope this perspective and advice helps you and the people you love. Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

Do you have relationship questions, dating questions, breakup questions, communication questions, therapy questions, or need to know how to handle a totally awkward family situation? Today on the podcast we're talking about all of it: The entire show is devoted to you. Your life, your relationships, and your questions. Specifically, we discussed: What if you're having an argument with your partner and need to take a break to calm down, but they keep pursuing you? How to handle it when you're married and have a crush on someone else? What if you have a crush on an EMPLOYEE? Are you dating and hearing, "I like you but just as friends" a lot? We're talking about what that might mean! What are some tips to handle a hard breakup or divorce when you coparent with your Ex and have to see your Ex? What should you do if your family members are fighting with each other and you keep getting dragged into it? Can you do couples therapy by video if you're in a long-distance relationship? Why might that be a good idea? How should you approach your partner if you think they would really benefit from individual therapy or couples counseling, but they won't go? And so. Much. More. Tune in! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

Holidays: NOT The Happiest Time Of Year For Heartbreak Divorces and breakups are difficult any time of year, but most people find that the period between Thanksgiving and Valentine's day adds an extra layer of angst and anxiety to the recovery process. On this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm going to be giving you actionable advice to cope with a breakup or divorce during the holiday season. You'll learn how to take care of yourself, ways to manage your feelings, and most importantly -- how to use this time to heal, grow, and move on to a brighter future. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Ps. Don't forget to download your free "action plan" for how to stop obsessing about your Ex: www.growingself.com/holiday-breakups

Feeling judged is difficult at any time, but as we lead up to the holidays, I begin to hear from many therapy and life coaching clients that feeling judged or criticized during family gatherings creates a ton of anxiety. On today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm diving deeply into this topic, in order to help you find strategies to stop feeling judged (while you're staying true to yourself and your values). We'll discuss: Why it's so important to get clear about your values before heading into emotionally fraught situations with family and in-laws How to decide where to be flexible and where to hold firm in your interactions with others How to let go of your need for approval from others What to prioritize in order to help yourself make decisions and be less reactive The secret strategy to help yourself be okay… even when others are not How to practice compassion for self and others All this, and more, on this episode of the podcast. All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

I often share relationship advice geared towards helping you proactively solve problems, practice good communication, and tackle tough issues before they become explosive... but that doesn't always happen. Sometimes, couples just have a terrible fight where they both say mean things to each other and feel like they damaged their relationship in the process. Has this just happened in your relationship? Have you just had a nasty fight, and now you're looking for help to get your relationship back on track? You're in the right place: Today I'm sharing my top tips for how to calm down, get back on track, and not just repair your relationship after a fight — but USE this experience to help your relationship grow and improve. PLUS, your questions about what to do when they're frequent fighting. All for you! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

Do you have a running commentary in your head about all your mistakes, faults and shortcomings? It's so painful. It's so exhausting. It's also so common — especially in high-achieving, successful types. (Ironically). Yes, the people who seem pretty darn close to perfect in the eyes of others are often the ones struggling the most to feel peaceful and self-accepting. Can you relate? Do you feel like you're never doing enough? Or like you have to be perfect (but even when you are, it could still be better? If so, the latest episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast is for you. We're going to be talking about how to stop beating yourself up, even if (and especially if) you're going through life circumstances that make you more vulnerable to beating yourself up. How to Stop Beating Yourself Up Specifically, we're discussing: Why You Beat Yourself Up How to stop beating yourself up for mistakes How to stop beating yourself up for past mistakes (that feel big) How to stop beating yourself up over mistakes at work How to stop beating yourself up after a breakup How to stop beating yourself up for not being perfect Listen to this episode to learn how to start pushing back against this "inner bully" so that you can cultivate self-compassion, feel less insecure, feel good about yourself, and take pride in your many accomplishments so that you can own your awesome. You are worth it! All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com PS: What's on YOUR mind these days? Have a question or a suggestion for an upcoming blog or podcast? I'm listening! Feel free to drop anything in the comments of this episode (here) or via this secure form.

Without understanding your subconscious self, it's very difficult to create real and lasting change in your life and in your relationships. You can try to make changes, but if your subconscious mind has other motivations.... it's going to win every time. Today, we're discussing: Why high level "solutions" will not be effective unless you understand your subconscious self Why your subconscious brain can sabotage you How to get insight into your subconscious mind How to use self-awareness to gain control over your subconscious Ways of strengthening your intuition, creativity and inner wisdom All that, and more, on this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

BECOMING EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY: Feelings. They happen to everyone, all the time. And yet, we don't always acknowledge them or talk about our feelings, much less take guidance from our emotions. Particularly in our culture, individuals and couples on a quest of "Happiness" can come to believe that being happy means being relatively free of dark emotions, like anger, sadness or fear. In fact, the opposite is true: Research shows that the happiest, most emotionally healthy people are actually the ones who are most comfortable with the full range of their emotions. Emotionally healthy people tend to be both self-accepting and self-aware: They know how they feel, and they have a great deal of tolerance and self-compassion when they're not feeling so great emotionally. They don't try to avoid bad feelings, and they also know how to (gently, appropriately) support themselves through challenging times. Emotional Health: Finding a Balance Emotionally healthy people tend to be attuned to their emotions (and those of others). They know how to "lean in" to hard feelings with acceptance and without judgment. However, even though they're fully connected with their feelings they may not always react or take action from their emotions. A core component of authentic emotional health is knowing which feelings to listen to and which feelings to leave alone. It can be hard to develop emotional health and learn how to stay in balance between taking wisdom from your emotions, but not always "obeying them. Learning how to tell the difference between helpful and unhelpful feelings, helps you develop self-compassion, self-understanding, and self-control. Becoming Emotionally Healthy is a Personal Growth Process A key aspect of holistic personal growth is learning how to have an authentic, self-aware, and sensitive relationship with your own emotions. This kind of powerful personal growth work often addresses: The life experiences that shaped your emotional reality and core beliefs Acknowledging any unfinished business with the past Identifying and understanding your unique emotional triggers Figuring out which feelings are guiding you helpfully Using your emotions to connect with your hopes, dreams and values Pinpointing the emotions that are getting in your way Developing self-compassionand acceptance of feelings without judgment Learning how to cope with big, dark emotions in a healthy way Learning how to stay in balance emotionally, no matter what's going on It's a lot! While this type of personal growth work often takes months (if not years) of focused attention in therapy or life coaching,it's so worth it. Becoming emotionally healthy is a foundational life skill for anyone on the path of self-actualization. The Benefits of Cultivating Emotional Health Learning how to manage your emotions skillfully allows you to have better relationships with others, feel happier, improve your self-esteem, and also create a meaningful, values-based life for yourself. It's worth talking about, and that's where we're going together today on The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. In addition to talking through all of the above, I'm answering some specific listener questions like: "How do I get my emotions under control and stop being so reactive?" "How do I stop allowing my anxiety to get in the way of my relationships?" "How do I feel less numb and 'blah' and more engaged with my life?"” All for YOU, on this episode of the podcast. See you there! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby PS: Resources I mentioned on today's show include the "Happy Heart" unit of my online Happiness Class, as well as a self-soothing breathing technique I shared on IGTV. PPS: Once again, I recorded this episode LIVE on Instagram so that I could answer some real-time listener questions. If you'd like to join next time, follow me @drlisamariebobbyand you'll see me LIVE in your stories (almost) every Monday at 12pm MT. Hope to see you there! LMB

Modern dating is complex and challenging. I've had so many listener questions about dating coming in lately, that I just had to address them on a podcast! In particular, we're diving deep and talking through some of the more complicated aspects of "dating life" that many people struggle with, like: What to do when you're terribly sad about being single? How do you know if you're ready to date after a bad breakup or divorce? If you're a single parent, when should you tell the kids about your new relationship? How do you trust a new person if you've been betrayed in the past? All that, and more, on this episode... Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com PS: Do YOU have questions? Ask away!

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by your life? Like you have so much to do and you're always busy, but also like you're not actually getting things done? Or, worse, are you SO busy that things are actually starting to fall through the cracks? Eek! This is incredibly stressful, and yet so many people are struggling with it: Especially conscientious, hardworking and responsible types. If this is a "pain point" for you, too, I hope you join me on this episode, to learn about: What types of core belief and approaches to life lead to feelings of overwhelm How perfectionism and over achievement is correlated with being LESS successful How stress leads to anxiety (and too much anxiety leads to paralysis) The type of mindset that helps you do more (and feel happier at the same time) How to recognize when you're spiraling into burnout and how to stop it How to do a "hard reset" on overwhelm and start getting things done How to get reconnected to your true values, goals and priorities What to focus on first if you're spiraling Strategies to help you identify and focus on what is truly important (and say buh-bye to the rest) Surprising tips and tricks to relax your body and mind, and enter a state of focused productivity All for YOU, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: How well do you understand other people? How well do you understand yourself? Do you know how to handle emotionally sensitive moments? Because emotional intelligence skills really are so important, I decided to devote an entire episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast to helping you understand emotional intelligence and how to improve emotional intelligence. Listen, and learn: Signs of low emotional intelligence Consequences of low emotional intelligence Why some people have higher emotional intelligence than others Emotional intelligence and empathy Why self-awareness is the key first step to developing emotional intelligence How to improve emotional intelligence How to tell if you're emotionally intelligent or not Different emotional intelligence quizzes and assessment strategies Specific exercises to improve emotional intelligence. All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Ps: Get access to the resources we discussed in this episode on the post for this episode here.

Do you ruminate? Think about things that happened in the past? Worry about what could happen in the future? Feel irritated with other people? Or struggle with the anxiety of comparing yourself with others? There is an alternative to being at the mercy of your mercurial mind. Learning how to mindfully and with intention get in control of your inner experience can help you break free from anxiety and worry, rise above stress, attain profound levels of empathy and connection with others, and feel happier and more joyful in the process. But how? How do we rise above the churning of our minds and our egos, to enter into a state of compassion and connection? Well, my guest on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast is Preethaji, a philosopher, mystic, the author of The Four Sacred Secrets and the co-founder of the international school of self-development, the O & O Academy based in India. Listen to this episode as Preethaji and I discuss: How to liberate yourself from a state of suffering How to find clarity and purpose within How to intentionally shift into a state of love, peace and calm How to feel more connected to others, to the universe, and to yourself How to transform your most important relationships through love and compassion We're digging deep, discussing how to mindfully heal old wounds, release self-limiting old beliefs, and taking responsibility for the way you show up in the world. I posed a couple of YOUR questions to her too, and her perspective was refreshing. I really enjoyed speaking with Preethaji, and I hope you get as much out of listening to this episode as I did in making it for you. Your fellow traveler, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

YOUR RELATIONSHIP QUESTIONS, ANSWERED | Lately, I've had quite a few listeners and readers get in touch with their relationship questions. I thought I'd devote an entire episode of the podcast to answering them! Specifically, I'm offering free relationship advice around these common questions on today's episode: What to do when you're feeling bored in your relationship, and are concerned because you're married but have a crush on someone else. What to do when you and your partner have different love languages Whether to stay in a relationship with someone who doesn't listen to you How to get your partner to take more initiative for household tasks What to do when your partner has a substance abuse problem but won't get help What to do when your boyfriend keeps putting off getting engaged How to handle it when your partner is acting like a child in the relationship Your burning relationship questions answered, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast! All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com PS: One of the resources I mentioned to a listener's question was our "How Healthy is Your Relationship" quiz. Click the link if you'd like to take it too. PSS: Do YOU have a question? You're welcome to ask it here on the comments section for this post: https://www.growingself.com/free-relationship-advice-from-a-marriage-counselor, or via my Instagram page: https://www.instagram.com/drlisamariebobby I just might answer it on an upcoming episode! :)

THE POWER OF DECLUTTERING: Do you ever feel oppressed by all the stuff you're hanging on to? Is it hard to get organized, and stay organized? Do you feel like your life is crammed full of obligations, relationships, things — even a career — that no longer fits the person you've grown into? Intentionally getting clear about who you are NOW, and where you want to go with your life can help you cut through all the clutter and develop an environment and a lifestyle that feels satisfying and congruent with the best parts ofyou. True, meaningful decluttering goes much deeper than just cleaning out a closet. Decluttering and maintaining a values-based, intentional lifestyle is an exercise in personal clarity and evolution. To help YOU along your journey of renewal and growth I've invited decluttering expert Olivia Heine to join me on the latest episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. If you're looking for some decluttering inspiration, you'll definitely want to listen to this episode. We're discussing: How decluttering your life can lead to emotional growth and healing How to get clarity about your self and your life goals, so that you know what to keep and what to let go of How to use the process of decluttering as a vehicle that can actually help you process unfinished emotional business from the past Why releasing physical possessions is often the first step in making positive changes in other parts of your life How to deal with tricky emotions (like guilt) that make it hard to let go of things How to declutter your life, your relationships, your career, and your time How the practice of decluttering helps you feel more confident and empowered How holding space in your life for the things that ARE important to you helps you create the life you want How to maintain an organized, intentional lifestyle long-term And more! So much good stuff to share with you. Olivia and I hope this discussion helps YOU get clear about who you are, what you want.... and what it's time to release! All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com Ps: Questions? Comments? Join the conversation! www.growingself.com/the-power-of-decluttering

On today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I'm talking all about how to not JUST find your purpose and highest calling, but how to start living your life with self-awareness and intention so that you can design the reality you want. Specifically, we're discussing: Why your ultimate purpose in life is bigger than your career How to fully embrace the amount of power you already have to design the life you want How to uncover the unconscious beliefs and messages that have been leading to life circumstances you don't want Targeted questions to help you get clear about what your truth is The importance of deliberately living in congruence with your highest and best How to develop self-awareness and mindfulness strategies that will allow you to take control of your thoughts, feelings and behaviors How living intentionally and in congruence with your values leads to authentic happiness If you have been feeling stuck lately and are struggling to find clarity and direction in life, I hope you listen to this episode. With love and respect, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Ps: One of the strategies I offered on this episode involves thinking about times that you experience "flow" and writing about it. You are invited to share your "flow moments" in the comments on the blog at www.GrowingSelf.com!

The Transformational Season Did you know that right now is possibly the best time you'll have all year to make real and lasting change in your life? That's not hyperbole. In my experience as a therapist, life coach, marriage counselor, and fellow traveler on this journey of life, I have noticed that this season -- the annual transition from summer to fall -- is often when people are feeling most intrinsically motivated, and most able to make real and lasting change in their lives. Perhaps it's a natural itch to get back to work after the languid summer season, particularly if you've done a good job of relaxing well. Perhaps it's a lifetime of major life transitions in the form of back to school experiences. For whatever reason, now is the time when you're ready to cultivate fresh new energy in your life and plant the seeds of a new chapter. Whether it's your career, your clutter, your personal habits, or your how you spend your time that is begging for re-evaluation, the time is ripe to sweep out the old and usher in the new. On this episode of The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I'm going to be teaching you four crucial steps to practice as you harness the natural, transformational power of this season and use it to affect real and lasting change in your life. You'll learn how to access your self awareness, create intentional change, get deeper access to your core values, and make changes that last. Here's to your liberation! Lisa Marie Bobby

Many people get involved with therapy or life coachinghere at Growing Self in order to improve all their relationships — not just their romantic partnerships or marriages. Let's face it: Friendships can present their own unique challenges. If this is an area of growth for you, too, you'll definitely want to listen to this episode. I'll be discussing: Why friendships end How the dynamics of friendships are similar to and different from romantic relationships How to mend a friendship that has been feeling strained What to do about toxic friendships How to cope if you've been ghosted by a friend The path of healing after an unexpected friendship loss How to end a friendship compassionately How to change a friendship if you need different boundaries with a friend I hope these ideas help you strengthen your friendships and keep healthy people in your life! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, LMFT, LP, BCC Ps: Thoughts? Questions? Comments? Here's the link to join the discussion at GrowingSelf.com

The Art of Vacationing Well It is vacation season, and you probably have some getaways planned. (I hope.) But if you are of the "rest is for mortals" mindset, you are not alone. So today I'm bringing you ten tips that will help you make the most of your hard earned vacation time -- whether you travel to exotic lands or just stick around town. We'll be discussing how to: 1) Take time off without feeling guilty about it 2) Use your vacation time intentionally and mindfully 3) Prepare to step out in such a way as to minimize "re-entry stress" upon your return 4) Set boundaries with others (and yourself) so you can relax and be present 5) Learn how to make them positive benefits of your vacation experience last, even after you're back And much, much more -- all on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

Saving a Relationship, Single-Handedly It can feel really discouraging when you are eager to work on your relationship, and your partner is less than enthused about going to marriage counseling or relationship coaching. But know this: Every couple who gets to marriage counseling does so because one of the partners initiates it. In your relationship, that person might need to be you. And that is okay. This episode will give you insight into what might be going on inside your partner when they say things like: "Things aren't that bad" "Marriage counseling is too expensive" "We don't need to tell a stranger about our problems" "I absolutely refuse to go to marriage counseling" I'm sharing some tips and ideas that can help you you ease their concerns. I hope this advice helps you help YOUR partner take the first step forward with you, and start growing back together again. All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com