Less Drama More Mama

As moms, we often think we're supposed to have all the answers. We're supposed to tell our kids what to do because we know better as adults. But what if that's not true? What if, instead, we're supposed to ask our kids great questions to help them figure out their own answers? Join me for this episode, where I give examples of great questions you can ask your kids...starting today! https://lessdramamoremama.com/171

It has long been believed that college is the best option after high school to prepare kids and set them up for career success and financial security. Now, the rising cost of college tuition is forcing many families to reconsider this belief and question whether a four-year degree makes sense for their teens. My guest on this episode is Education Coach and Consultant, Stephanie Haynes. She provides custom educational consulting and coaching for high school students, educators, and schools to build a pathway to a successful future teens are excited to pursue. Her new book titled, College Is Not Mandatory, guides parents through navigating all the options available to kids after high school and provides strategies and specific open-ended questions to use in conversations with teens about their futures. You don't want to miss this information-packed episode!

Courage isn't the ability to do something without fear. It's the ability to do something despite fear. Courageous people feel fear, but they don't let it stop them from taking action. As moms, we experience a lot of fear that holds us back from doing what we know is effective. When we can accept that fear is just part of our job description and doesn't necessarily signal danger, we can feel it and still take action. Tune into this episode for more about parenting with courage. https://lessdramamoremama.com/169

I believe that kids have a better chance of school success when parents and teachers work together as a team. After all, kids probably spend more of their waking hours involved with school than they spend at home, so it's important to build positive relationships with the people who are with them all of those hours every day. Several years ago, and then again this year, I asked my teacher friends to answer the following questions: What do you really want parents to know? What do you wish they'd do or not do? What advice do you have for them when it comes to supporting their kids, supporting you, and parent-teacher conferences? This episode is a compilation of their answers, in their own words, with my thoughts and suggestions sprinkled in. If you have suggestions from your own experiences that would help parents and teachers become better partners, please leave a comment in the show notes. https://lessdramamoremama.com/168

While it's normal for every child to struggle socially from time to time, it can be difficult when it's your own kids who feels left out. You might feel compelled to protect them and take immediate action by calling the school or the offending child's parents. You might be quick to assume your kids are at fault, and ask how they brought on the problem themselves. As always, the best course of action is to respond thoughtfully, rather than react emotionally. In this episode, I give suggestions for how to support kids when they say they feel excluded at school, while staying calm yourself and teaching them important social and emotional skills.

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, an estimated 1 in 5 adults in the U.S. experienced mental illness in 2019 (pre-pandemic!) and approximately 48 million adults in the U.S. are diagnosed annually with anxiety disorders. The most common treatment for anxiety focuses on uncovering unhealthy thought patterns and understanding how they relate to feelings and behavior. Sound familiar? 😉 In this episode, I reveal what I believe to be the biggest unhealthy thought pattern there is, and my "treatment plan" to manage the diagnosis we all share. https://lessdramamoremama.com/166

Conflict with your kids is inevitable. But the way you handle conflict either helps or hinders your relationships with them. In this episode, I introduce the concept of the Conflict Escalator to help you become more aware of what actions (and reactions) make a conflict better or worse, and whether you're contributing to, or contaminating, your relationships. https://lessdramamoremama.com/165

There are two types of responses to the circumstances in your life: proactive and reactive. When you're proactive, you make decisions ahead of time to solve potential problems before they occur, leaving you feeling calm and in control. When you're reactive, feelings of fear and powerlessness often bring about the very outcome you're hoping to avoid. While reactive parenting is common and sometimes unavoidable, you can learn how to become a less reactive and more proactive mom. Tune into this episode to empower yourself and learn the basics of proactive parenting. https://lessdramamoremama.com/164

The late philosopher and psychiatrist Alfred Adler believed that "a misbehaving child is a discouraged child." In so many subtle ways, and without realizing it, we discourage our kids all the time. In this episode, I talk about the ways we unknowingly discourage our kids and offer some tips for encouraging them more. https://lessdramamoremama.com/163

Does your child struggle to do homework? Do you get into regular battles over it and question how much to get involved? In this episode, I offer my thoughts to get you in a calm and empowered frame of mind when it comes to your child's homework, so you know exactly how to help. https://lessdramamoremama.com/162

Do you wish your kids' grandparents acted differently? When you think about them, do you feel frustrated, resentful, hurt, or guilty? If you answered "yes," this episode is for you. Learn the secret to improve your relationships with your parents or in-laws, take back your power, and feel more at peace. https://lessdramamoremama.com/161

You have every intention of sticking to your limits, staying calm, and helping your kids through their difficult emotions. But in the heat of the moment, you find yourself giving into their demands, yelling, punishing them, or trying to fix their feelings. While counseling families with children ages six and under, today's guest sought to get to the root of what prevents moms from being the parents they want to be. Join me and Claire Lerner as we talk about making important mindset shifts to be able to respond to our kids more effectively. https://lessdramamoremama.com/160

You've got questions, I've got answers. In this Back-to-School episode, I'm answering questions submitted by moms when I asked, "What would be the most useful podcast for you right now about back-to-school issues?" Tune in to hear their concerns and questions, and how I addressed each one. If you have a question you'd like answered in a future episode, email me at [email protected] https://lessdramamoremama.com/159

I recently spent an unforgettable week working as a clinician at a grief camp for kids. While I'm sure I helped the campers learn and grow in many ways, they taught and inspired me a great deal, too. In this episode, I share my biggest takeaway from being at grief camp this summer and how it applies to you. https://lessdramamoremama.com/158

The start of the school year isn't how we imagined it would be last May when COVID cases were declining and vaccines became available to kids over 12. It's natural and normal to feel disappointed when your expectations aren't met or your plans change, but how good are you at actually allowing yourself to feel disappointed? In this episode, I talk about why it's important to allow disappointment and how resisting it can lead to greater suffering. https://lessdramamoremama.com/157

Sometimes, families run like well-oiled machines. And other times, they don't operate as effectively. With summer schedules ending and school fast approaching, many families are all out of whack. In this episode, I share how you can do a 'reset' and get yours running smoothly again. https://lessdramamoremama.com/156

Back in episode 79, I talked about four of the main psychological defense mechanisms I see in my work with moms. In today's show, I'm diving deeper into one of those defense mechanisms: projection. Tune in to learn what parental projection is, how it impacts you and your kids, and what you can do about it. https://lessdramamoremama.com/155

When you know your child misses you and feels sad or scared, you might feel guilty or anxious about being apart. In today's episode, I share a recent personal story in which I was able to quickly turn my guilt-inducing thoughts into ones that caused me to feel calm and confident instead. Join me as I share this experience with you and offer some useful ways to think about when your kids want their mommy. https://lessdramamoremama.com/154

It may sound like a bunch of self-help "fluff," but today's episode is anything but. The relationship you have with yourself is at the root of all of your successes and all of your problems. When you understand this, and take an honest look at yourself, you start to see where you can strengthen that relationship and develop a deeper connection with yourself. Tune in to hear how you can incorporate the seven qualities of a best friend into your life and become your own best friend. https://lessdramamoremama.com/153

In last week's episode, I shared five faulty thought patterns that keep moms stuck feeling anxious, guilty, disappointed, and discouraged. This week, I'm sharing another five thought patterns that, if unchecked, can lead to feelings of shame, inadequacy, anger, and depression. Tune in to find out what these patterns are, how they impact you, and how to break them. https://lessdramamoremama.com/152

Identifying our own thought patterns isn't easy. Most of the time, we don't even recognize that our thoughts are thoughts at all...we just believe they're facts! To help you figure out why you might be feeling stuck when it comes to a situation in your life, today's episode reveals five common unhelpful thought patterns, how they impact moms, and how to begin changing them. https://lessdramamoremama.com/151

Physical pain is a part of life. Often, the way we think about our physical pain compounds our suffering by adding emotional pain on top of it. In this information-packed episode, I interview Marriage and Family Therapist and Master Coach Instructor, Aimée Gianni, about the mind-body connection and how life coaching not only helps with emotional pain, but can reduce symptoms of physical pain as well. https://lessdramamoremama.com/150

Do you and your child's father parent differently? If so, you're in the same boat as most of the moms I know. In honor of Father's Day, I'm addressing the issue of parents "getting on the same page." https://lessdramamoremama.com/149

One of the main things the moms in the Chill Out Challenge are saying is that they don't have enough time to devote to self-care. In today's episode, I'll share a time-saving strategy used by the most productive and successful people in the world. There's also a free download to go along with the episode to help you figure out how to make time for the things that truly matter to you. https://lessdramamoremama.com/148

In this special bonus episode, I invite you to sign up for this year's Chill Out Challenge for Moms. Ditch your excuses for putting yourself last Conquer the chaos at home and get more organized Carve out time each day just for YOU Focus on your own self-care and emotional well-being Meet other amazing moms Practice the 3 R's: relax, recharge, and reflect Participate to win prizes that will help you maintain your self-care Sign up for the challenge right HERE.

Do you have a network of supportive relationships in your life? Having a strong support system in place before you actually need it can help you feel more confident about handling life's ups and downs. Tune in to this episode to learn about the different kinds of support you may need and how to start creating your own support system. https://lessdramamoremama.com/147

How much do you trust yourself? Trust is one of the most fundamental aspects of any relationship. You want to be able to trust your partner, kids, parents, friends, and coworkers. You want to be able to rely on them and know that they'll do what they say they'll do. Without that foundation of trust, it can be hard to have a good relationship. And so it's even more important to have that kind of relationship with yourself and know you can count on yourself no matter what. I've identified three main categories where moms lack self-trust. Tune into this episode to learn what they are and how to start building more self-trust as a mom. https://lessdramamoremama.com/146

Do you feel frustrated when your kids disobey your limits? Do you feel guilty because you often give in to avoid a meltdown or a power struggle? Do you feel confused and powerless about how to follow through on consequences? If you answered "yes" to any of these, this episode is for you. Tune in to learn about the importance of setting limits with your kids and how to think about them in a way that makes them easier to enforce. https://lessdramamoremama.com/145

Before I was a mom, I worked as a clinician at an adolescent day treatment facility near Boston. Time and time again, I witnessed teens enter the program with symptoms of major mental illness and leave thriving emotionally and socially. So, what was so special about the program? I've identified seven key elements that the program provided to help kids and their families go from hopeless to optimistic within just a few months. If they could help families with severe dysfunction, they can definitely help yours, too. Tune in to this episode to find out what they are! https://lessdramamoremama.com/144

Do you sometimes find it difficult to let yourself feel good? Often when we think about the emotions we don't want to feel, we think of the negative ones. But I've noticed a number of my clients resisting their positive emotions, too. Tune in for this episode where I talk about giving yourself permission to feel good any time you want. https://lessdramamoremama.com/143

Do you struggle to have fun now that you're a mom? Do you feel like your partner is the "fun" one and you're not? Do you feel resentful that those around you seem to be having more fun than you? Join me for this episode to learn how you can start creating more fun in your life today! https://lessdramamoremama.com/142

Calling all people pleasers! This is especially for you. The majority of my clients self-identify as people pleasers. And while they seem to recognize on some level that it's a problem, they don't seem to understand exactly why. After all, isn't pleasing people a good thing? Tune into this episode to learn what people pleasing really is, why so many moms do it, why it's a problem, and most importantly, how to break the habit. https://lessdramamoremama.com/141

Krista St-Germain is a Master Certified Life Coach, grief expert, widow, mom, and host of The Widowed Mom Podcast. In 2016, when Krista was 40, her life was completely flipped upside down when her husband died unexpectedly. While it would have been easy to believe her best days were behind her, thankfully Krista discovered life coaching and was able to move forward and create an exciting future even better than the past. She now coaches and teaches other widows to love life again, too. Tune in to today's episode where Krista and I talk about grief and loss, not only as it relates to the death of a loved one, but to life and motherhood in general -- especially after the year we've just had. We also talk about how Krista thinks about grief, how she talks to her kids about loss, and the concept of Post-Traumatic Growth. This is an episode you won't want to miss! https://lessdramamoremama.com/140

Sometimes when I ask a client to tell me how she feels, she'll say, "I feel like a failure." But failure isn't a feeling. In fact, failure doesn't cause any feelings at all until you have a thought about it. If you've ever "felt" like a failure, be sure to join me for this episode, where I share what failure really is, why it's necessary, and how to think about it in a way that serves you in your motherhood. https://lessdramamoremama.com/139

Do you get frustrated when your kids fight with each other? Do you feel like a failure when they don't get along? Are you confused or overwhelmed about how to help them solve problems peacefully? If you answered "yes" to any of those questions, this episode is for you. Join me as I share what to do when the kids are fighting, so you can feel better and show up as the mom you most want to be. https://lessdramamoremama.com/138

Many moms are either too embarrassed or too ashamed to admit that they feel trapped in motherhood because they think it means there's something wrong with them. They don't realize that thinking this way only reinforces the idea that they need to escape. In this episode, I'll show you why feeling trapped doesn't have to be a problem and how you can free yourself whenever you choose. https://lessdramamoremama.com/137

There's been a significant rise in the number of kids and teens struggling with things like social isolation, grief, anxiety, and depression over the past year. As I've shared in many of my episodes, these emotions are part of the human experience and not problems in and of themselves. So how do you determine when your child needs therapy? In this episode, I share some of the signs and symptoms to look for when deciding whether to pursue therapy for your child, where to find a therapist, the different kinds of mental health providers, and the most common therapeutic approaches for kids. https://lessdramamoremama.com/136

If we looked at all of the thoughts inside your mind right now, what do you suppose we would we find in there? Are they thoughts that cause you to feel energized and confident or overwhelmed and exhausted? Tune in to this episode to learn how to start clearing your mental clutter and creating the feelings and life you want. https://lessdramamoremama.com/135

The act of validating your child's emotions can be a powerful parenting tool. Since every action begins with a thought, this episode explores different thoughts that can lead to validating and invalidating kids' feelings. I also discuss the importance of learning to allow and validate your own emotions so you feel better about yourself and show up as the mom you most want to be. https://lessdramamoremama.com/134

Do you want to know the #1 complaint I hear from moms? "My child doesn't listen." Fortunately, good listening is a skill that can be learned. In today's episode, I share some tips on how to feel better about your child's behavior, how to model good listening yourself, and how to teach your child listening skills. Remember, building these skills takes time and practice. The best thing you can do is to learn to manage your own mind so that you can show up for your child with more patience and love. https://lessdramamoremama.com/133

Do you love yourself? Why or why not? According to Brené Brown, we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. So it stands to reason that loving yourself benefits everyone around you. In today's episode, I discuss what keeps people from loving themselves and steps to increasing your own self-love. https://lessdramamoremama.com/132

You are the CEO of your family. And just like in a corporate business, there are times when it's beneficial to bring everyone together to talk about company policies, goals, schedules, expectations, changes in routine, and any issue or obstacle that's hindering business success so that everyone is on the same page and working toward the same goals. In this episode, I'm sharing when and why to use family meetings, and how to execute them effectively. Tune in to learn how to make these meetings purposeful, meaningful, and even fun! https://lessdramamoremama.com/131

My guest on today's podcast is the one and only Andrea Askowitz. She's a dear family friend and the executive producer and co-host of the Writing Class Radio podcast. As a writing teacher and mom of 2, Andrea knows firsthand how powerful writing and storytelling can be for moms. Tune in to this episode to hear us talk about the benefits of writing and storytelling for moms, and the unique writing/coaching workshop we're only offering this month. https://lessdramamoremama.com/130

Does your life ever resemble a soap opera that's filled with drama? The drama triangle is a tool designed to help you understand the roles people play in conflict and drama-laden relationships. Tune in to this episode to learn more about the drama triangle and how it can help you have less mama drama in your life. https://lessdramamoremama.com/129

Do you dream of a time when life is easy and you'll finally feel happy? When your kids sleep through the night? When they stop bickering and throwing tantrums? When you can hand over the car keys and send your child to the grocery store? Tune in to today's episode, and learn how thinking about the future in this way delays your happiness and keeps you from enjoying the present. https://lessdramamoremama.com/128

Every challenge we face as moms is like another level of parenting we can learn to conquer. What do you think would need to happen for you to take your parenting to the next level, and what would that look like for you? What is the thing that, if you could just figure out how to overcome it, your life would improve and you would show up as an even better version of yourself? Today's episode is meant to inspire and motivate you to take action that will bring you closer to your next level of parenting and life. https://lessdramamoremama.com/127

Have you ever been super excited to start a new habit or achieve a new goal only to find your energy and motivation fizzles out before you reach it? We've all been there. But why does this happen? And how can you prevent it from happening again? In this episode, I answer both of these questions and share the secret to achieving success. https://lessdramamoremama.com/126

Do you feel like you can't create the future you want because you don't know how, or you think you don't have what it takes? I have good news for you. Knowing HOW to create your future isn't as important as believing that it's possible. Join me for today's episode as I explain this concept in more detail and offer some questions for you to consider. https://lessdramamoremama.com/125

Is there an argument or problem that occurs in your relationship with your child again and again, in exactly the same way, with a predictable outcome? Many of us think that if we just keep doing what we're doing and repeat ourselves enough times, eventually our kids will see the light and change their behavior. Unfortunately, that rarely works. Tune in to today's episode and learn how to change the patterns in your relationships to create different outcomes by doing something different. https://lessdramamoremama.com/124

Do you have a Word of the Year? I jumped on the Word of the Year bandwagon back in 2014 and haven't looked back. Join me for this episode as I explain what it is and why it's useful, review my past words, and reveal my new one for 2021. I'll also give you tips for choosing your own Word of the Year and tell you where you can share it with other mamas who listen to the podcast. https://lessdramamoremama.com/123