Less Drama More Mama

Most parents assume the absolute worst when their kids are upset and won't share why. Their brains automatically make up the craziest stories about what might be going on. They also tend to take things personally, get defensive, and act in ways that reinforce their child's belief that it's better to keep things to themselves when they're upset. Tune in for this episode to learn how to respond to your kids when they won't talk with you about why they're upset. https://lessdramamoremama.com/205

Today's episode was inspired by several factors that all seemed to converge at once: the Fourth of July, the Roe v Wade decision last week, and a session with one of my newest clients. All had themes of freedom, independence, and choice. And those three things make a huge impact on your relationship with your kids. Tune into today's episode to learn more about the importance of encouraging your child to make decisions and tips on how to do it. https://lessdramamoremama.com/204

Today we're wrapping up my greatest hits series of guest interviews with four amazing women. Claire Lerner offers help for parents of young children, Amy Kelly supports parents and teachers of middle school kids, Stephanie Haynes guides parents and kids through options after high school, and Alison Cady coaches women who want to lose weight and stop emotional eating. Don't forget to leave a review of the podcast before the end of June for your chance to win a book of your choice written by one of my guests. Two winners will be announced in early July.

We're almost halfway through the year and halfway through the greatest hits guest edition of the Less Drama More Mama podcast. Each week in June I'm rounding up some of the best clips from my guest interviews over the last 200 episodes. Today, you'll hear from several Master Life Coaches, including Erin Aquin, Krista St.-Germain, and Aimée Gianni about relationships, grief, and the mind-body connection. You'll also hear from writer Andrea Askowitz about the power of personal stories. All of their episodes shared themes related to vulnerability and empowerment. To win a book of your choice written by one of my guests, be sure to leave a review of the podcast during the month of June. Two lucky winners will be announced in July. https://lessdramamoremama.com/202

In case you missed it, I'm dedicating the whole month of June on the Less Drama More Mama podcast to greatest hits from my guest interviews. And, to say thank you to you for listening to and supporting the podcast, two lucky listeners will win a book of their choice written by one of my guests. All you have to do to enter is leave a review of the podcast during the month of June. This week, you'll hear from Carla Naumburg, PhD, mindfulness mentor Hunter Clarke-Fields, emotional well-being coach Shira Gura, and elementary ESE instructor Lauren Adler. https://lessdramamoremama.com/201

I've decided to do something really special to celebrate the 200th episode of the Less Drama More Mama podcast. The entire month of June, I'm sharing the greatest hits from guest speakers I've had on the show. And, when you leave a review of the podcast during the month of June, you'll be entered to win a book of your choice written by one of my guests. It's my way of saying thank you to my guests for their partnership and to YOU for listening and supporting the podcast. Tune in to hear wisdom from Master Coach Rachel Hart, Life Coach Shira Gill, Broadway and Disney star Susan Egan, one of Australia's leading digital wellness experts Dr. Kristy Goodwin, and my kids, Marissa and Dalia.

I can't believe it's been four years since I started the Less Drama More Mama podcast. It's one of my favorite ways to connect with you, and I appreciate your support so much. I'm really proud of the fact that I haven't missed a single Tuesday episode since I started. So, it's only fitting that the 199th episode is all about parenting with consistency. https://lessdramamoremama.com/199

From small transitions, like waking up in the morning, to bigger ones like going back and forth between two parents' homes, kids deal with lots of changes every day. While change can be difficult for adults, it can be even more stressful for kids because they haven't yet developed the cognitive, emotional, and executive functioning skills required to handle it. Even though we often resist it, change is inevitable. Tune into this episode and find out how you can help your kids learn the skills needed to get through it, and maybe even embrace it. https://lessdramamoremama.com/198

It's still Mental Health Awareness month and this week, we're getting a little more personal about how mental health affects the way you parent. In this podcast episode, I'm sharing my own mental health journey, and why my mental well-being is my top priority as a mom. If you've ever struggled (or are currently struggling) with your mental health, please know you're not alone. There's no shame in recognizing and facing it, and there are lots of ways to get the support you need. You deserve to have a life you love and show up as the mom you want to be. https://lessdramamoremama.com/197

Did you know May is Mental Health Awareness Month? I think it's great that we have an entire month dedicated to mental health, but it seems like most of the conversations focus on mental illness. And while that's definitely a crucial part of the conversation, it's not the whole picture. No one really talks about what good mental health means or how to cultivate it. Good mental health isn't simply the absence of mental illness, and it isn't feeling happy all the time. So what is it? And how can we tell if we have it? Join me for this episode, where I answer these questions and more. https://lessdramamoremama.com/196

Last week I had five coaching sessions back to back, and in four of those sessions, the moms all cried and expressed the same sentiment: This is hard. One mom said she felt defeated. Another said she felt judged. Another felt guilty, like she was doing everything wrong because she often got pushback on her boundaries. Maybe you've been there, too. With Mother's Day around the corner here in the U.S., there are a lot of beautiful and fun parts of motherhood to celebrate. AND I hope you celebrate that you are doing the hard thing. You're showing up the best you can even when it feels challenging and unmanageable. And that's worth celebrating! If you've ever felt defeated, overwhelmed, or like everything just feels hard, this episode is for you. https://lessdramamoremama.com/195

Do you resist emotions like grief and sadness for fear that you might be unable to function for days? Does simply thinking about being embarrassed or rejected make you sweat? Do you shield yourself from being too happy now to avoid disappointment later? Well, I've got great news for you. Emotions are temporary (probably more so than you think). And when you understand how they work, you can actually create more happiness in your life. Tune into this episode to learn a concept that will help you handle any emotion starting today. https://lessdramamoremama.com/194

Over the past two years, I've had the privilege of witnessing one of my clients transform herself and her relationships. When Lindsey reached out to me for support, she had hit her "rock bottom." She was yelling at everyone in her family, finding reasons to be angry with them, and not liking herself as a result. I'm thrilled to report that everything has changed for Lindsey since we started working together back in 2020. Tune into this episode to hear Lindsey talk about how she went from struggling with resentment, guilt, and unworthiness to having a strong sense of self-worth and self-confidence. https://lessdramamoremama.com/193

One thing I often hear from parents who want to start coaching with me and feel like it could change everything for their family is, "I don't think my spouse will go for this." Usually, it's the wife who finds me through the podcast and she's had me in her ear for a while. She feels a pull inside her to reach out to me, but her spouse, who has never heard the podcast and doesn't understand the concepts I teach says, "You want to do what? And with who? Who's Pam Howard? Do you really need coaching? Can't you just read a book?" This interview answers all of those questions from a spouse's perspective. Mike, who's married to my client, Lindsey, graciously agreed to come chat with me about his experience since I started working with Lindsey two years ago. We don't often get to hear from a spouse's perspective, and I couldn't wait to get this into your ears and heart. Grab your spouse and listen together (and come back next week to hear my interview with Lindsey)! https://lessdramamoremama.com/192

Have you ever wondered how two kids growing up under the same roof (even twins) could be so different? Or why you seem to connect well with one child and are "triggered" by another? Do you sometimes feel like no matter what you say or how you say it, you can't seem to communicate effectively with your kids? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, this episode is for you. Tune into this episode to learn what temperament is, why it matters, and how understanding your kids' unique temperaments can help you improve your relationships with them immediately!

My guest on today's show is Amy Kelly. She's the creator and host of the In the Middle of It podcast where she provides fresh ideas, strategies and resources for middle school teachers and parents. Amy is a Mom, a writer, a former 8th grade teacher, and a voracious reader dedicated to supporting those on the front lines with teens. When she's not working on her podcast, you can find her listening to U2, watching Gilmore Girls for the millionth time, or hanging out on the patio with her husband and two teens. In this interview, we discuss managing expectations of middle school kids, developmental appropriateness, ways to connect with your middle school child, and much more. Don't miss it! https://lessdramamoremama.com/190

Does hearing "But Mommy! I waaaaaaaaaant it!" send shivers down your spine? Many people associate wanting more with selfishness, entitlement, and ingratitude. In today's episode, I share how wanting more is actually healthy and even necessary to living a fuller, more meaningful life. Tune in to hear how to give your kids (and yourself) permission to want more. https://lessdramamoremama.com/189

Just before the pandemic hit, Susan started her own event planning business. So, when no one was traveling or planning events anymore, she found herself stuck in a victim mentality and no longer feeling good about herself and her life. When she reached out to me, she was feeling angry, resentful, out of control, and powerless. She hesitantly, but bravely made the decision to invest in herself and give coaching a try. Tune in to hear how that decision helped her get unstuck and what she was able to achieve. https://lessdramamoremama.com/188

Katie reached out to me last summer, right before returning to her job as a Kindergarten teacher. She was in the middle of a divorce after 16 years of marriage, had 3 young kids, and felt completely stuck when it came to rebuilding her life as a single mom. Katie started referring to herself as "Katie 2.0" about three months into our coaching because her transformation was so striking. Tune into this episode to hear about all about it. https://lessdramamoremama.com/187

This episode is a bit more personal than most. I share about two experiences of mine when I've had what I refer to as "Mama Meltdowns." My hope in sharing these experiences with you is that you'll feel less alone/ashamed/defeated, you'll stop judging yourself so harshly, and you'll have ideas for how to move on after a Mama Meltdown of your own.

A strong connection is the foundation of a great parent-child relationship. So, how do you stay connected when you sense your kids emotionally distancing themselves from you? When they physically move away from you? What do you do when they show little to no interest in spending time with you because they'd rather be with their friends or on their devices? In this episode, I share about my own efforts to stay connected to my teenager and offer ways to help you answer the above questions for yourself. https://lessdramamoremama.com/185

As moms, we're very familiar with the importance of physical safety for our kids. Even before they're born, we make sure to buy the safest car seats, high chairs, and cribs we can afford, we baby proof our homes as soon as they're able to crawl, and we attend to every scrape, rash, and fever vigilantly. But what about emotional safety? There's far too little information and training for parents when it comes to that. Despite what it sounds like, emotional safety isn't about protecting our kids from emotional hurt or the "negative" emotions of life. Rather, emotional safety is about creating a safe space for kids' emotions to be accepted, heard, and valued. Tune into this episode to learn more about creating emotional safety for your child.

If you're anything like me, connecting with your kids feels effortless when things are going well – when your kids are following your expectations, everyone's in a good mood, and everyone wants to be together. It's all those other times in the day or week when connection can feel challenging: when they don't cooperate, when they talk back, when you're trying to get that project for work finished by the deadline and they keep interrupting you, or you just want to relax in peace and quiet and they won't seem to leave you alone. Join me for this episode where I identify the barriers to connection, so you can break down the barriers and pave the way for better relationships.

You might think of unconditional love as a gift you give your kids. But in reality, it's a gift you give yourself. When you choose to feel unconditional love, you're the one who benefits. Your kids don't feel your love, only you do. But when you show up in a loving way, they'll be more likely to experience love, too. Tune into today's episode to learn more about loving your child unconditionally. https://lessdramamoremama.com/182

You've probably heard the advice to make family dinners a priority. In my experience, moms either run themselves ragged living up to a perfectionist standard, or they feel guilty and defeated when they don't. Tune in to today's episode to get practical advice and lots of resources to help you make family mealtimes easier and more enjoyable for everyone.

Are you an emotional eater? Do you use food to numb out so you don't have to deal with feelings of stress, overwhelm, boredom, or frustration? My guest on today's episode lost 85 pounds, but she did it through shaming herself and restricting her diet. Through life coaching, Alison Cady learned how maintain her goal weight without beating herself up, cutting out her favorite foods, or following a strict regimen. Tune into this episode to hear how she changed her relationships with food and her body and how you can, too. https://lessdramamoremama.com/180

When I was a little girl, my mother told me, "Mommies don't get sick." And I believed her. Little did I know, my mother did get sick, but she just kept going no matter how miserable she felt. Can you relate? If you've ever felt guilty for slowing down to take care of yourself, this episode is for you. https://lessdramamoremama.com/179

Do you expect your kids to follow rules that you're not willing to follow yourself? Do you sometimes have a "do as I say, not as I do" attitude? Yeah, me too. 😕 In this episode, I shine a light on some areas where I've engage in hypocritical parenting and where you might be, too. Then, I encourage you to choose one of those areas and commit to being an example of the kind of person you want your kids to be. Are you in? https://lessdramamoremama.com/178

How do you want to feel a year from now, at the end of 2022? Why do you imagine you'd feel that way? What will be different? In this episode, I'll share the key to getting what you want sooner, so you don't have to wait a whole year to feel the way you want. https://lessdramamoremama.com/177

It's that time of year when people are thinking about New Year's resolutions and how they want next year to be different. But before you start looking to the future and where you want to go, it's important to look at the past year and see how far you've come. Not many moms take the time to do this. They spend their energy focused on what isn't working and what they still have left to do to achieve their goals. In today's episode, I offer five questions to help you stop and acknowledge what's going well in your life, what you've accomplished in 2021, and how to create momentum heading into 2022. https://lessdramamoremama.com/176

If you want to do better in the new year -- to stop yelling so much, be more present with your kids, and get more done in less time and with less stress, you need a plan and you need support. Many moms have a practice for maintaining or improving their physical health. They understand the importance of taking care of their bodies and strengthening their muscles so they can stay in physical shape and be more efficient at things like climbing and lifting. But not many moms have a practice for maintaining or improving their mental and emotional health and strengthening their mental muscles so they can be more efficient at things like staying calm, connecting with other people, focusing, taking action, and problem-solving. My new, 12-week group program will help you do that. Not only will you learn how to build your mental muscles, you'll practice strengthening them every day. As a result, you'll break through years of old habits and start feeling the results immediately. Applications are open now through Tuesday, December 21, so don't wait. I promise you won't regret it. Click HERE to apply.

Do you know the Saboteurs who live in the survival region of your brain? They're the ones who lie to you and tell you something's wrong with you and/or your kids. They keep you from doing what you say you want to do, like sticking to your limits and staying calm. They convince you that you can't handle life's challenges, and you shouldn't bother trying. In this episode, I'll introduce you to the ten Saboteurs that reside in your mind, and tell you how you can put an end to their tyranny in the new year. https://lessdramamoremama.com/175

The New Year is often a time when people set goals related to their physical fitness. But what about their mental fitness? Is there even such a thing? The answer is YES! In this episode, I share what mental fitness is, why it's vital for living a better life, and how to strengthen your mental muscles in 2022. https://lessdramamoremama.com/174

Every parent – whether they realize it or not – has ideas about the kinds of adults they hope their kids will become. And although we can't control the choices our kids make as they get older, we can certainly try to influence them. In this episode, I share how to identify which values to teach your kids, different ways of teaching them, and the most challenging (but probably the most important) step of teaching values to your kids. https://lessdramamoremama.com/173

Knowing and understanding your personal values is the first step in passing them along to your kids. In this episode, I walk you through a series of five questions to help you get clear about your values and turn them into action. When your actions align with your values, you'll feel grounded, centered, and connected to yourself, because you'll be living with a sense of meaning and purpose based on what matters most to you. https://lessdramamoremama.com/172

As moms, we often think we're supposed to have all the answers. We're supposed to tell our kids what to do because we know better as adults. But what if that's not true? What if, instead, we're supposed to ask our kids great questions to help them figure out their own answers? Join me for this episode, where I give examples of great questions you can ask your kids...starting today! https://lessdramamoremama.com/171

It has long been believed that college is the best option after high school to prepare kids and set them up for career success and financial security. Now, the rising cost of college tuition is forcing many families to reconsider this belief and question whether a four-year degree makes sense for their teens. My guest on this episode is Education Coach and Consultant, Stephanie Haynes. She provides custom educational consulting and coaching for high school students, educators, and schools to build a pathway to a successful future teens are excited to pursue. Her new book titled, College Is Not Mandatory, guides parents through navigating all the options available to kids after high school and provides strategies and specific open-ended questions to use in conversations with teens about their futures. You don't want to miss this information-packed episode!

Courage isn't the ability to do something without fear. It's the ability to do something despite fear. Courageous people feel fear, but they don't let it stop them from taking action. As moms, we experience a lot of fear that holds us back from doing what we know is effective. When we can accept that fear is just part of our job description and doesn't necessarily signal danger, we can feel it and still take action. Tune into this episode for more about parenting with courage. https://lessdramamoremama.com/169

I believe that kids have a better chance of school success when parents and teachers work together as a team. After all, kids probably spend more of their waking hours involved with school than they spend at home, so it's important to build positive relationships with the people who are with them all of those hours every day. Several years ago, and then again this year, I asked my teacher friends to answer the following questions: What do you really want parents to know? What do you wish they'd do or not do? What advice do you have for them when it comes to supporting their kids, supporting you, and parent-teacher conferences? This episode is a compilation of their answers, in their own words, with my thoughts and suggestions sprinkled in. If you have suggestions from your own experiences that would help parents and teachers become better partners, please leave a comment in the show notes. https://lessdramamoremama.com/168

While it's normal for every child to struggle socially from time to time, it can be difficult when it's your own kids who feels left out. You might feel compelled to protect them and take immediate action by calling the school or the offending child's parents. You might be quick to assume your kids are at fault, and ask how they brought on the problem themselves. As always, the best course of action is to respond thoughtfully, rather than react emotionally. In this episode, I give suggestions for how to support kids when they say they feel excluded at school, while staying calm yourself and teaching them important social and emotional skills.

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, an estimated 1 in 5 adults in the U.S. experienced mental illness in 2019 (pre-pandemic!) and approximately 48 million adults in the U.S. are diagnosed annually with anxiety disorders. The most common treatment for anxiety focuses on uncovering unhealthy thought patterns and understanding how they relate to feelings and behavior. Sound familiar? 😉 In this episode, I reveal what I believe to be the biggest unhealthy thought pattern there is, and my "treatment plan" to manage the diagnosis we all share. https://lessdramamoremama.com/166

Conflict with your kids is inevitable. But the way you handle conflict either helps or hinders your relationships with them. In this episode, I introduce the concept of the Conflict Escalator to help you become more aware of what actions (and reactions) make a conflict better or worse, and whether you're contributing to, or contaminating, your relationships. https://lessdramamoremama.com/165

There are two types of responses to the circumstances in your life: proactive and reactive. When you're proactive, you make decisions ahead of time to solve potential problems before they occur, leaving you feeling calm and in control. When you're reactive, feelings of fear and powerlessness often bring about the very outcome you're hoping to avoid. While reactive parenting is common and sometimes unavoidable, you can learn how to become a less reactive and more proactive mom. Tune into this episode to empower yourself and learn the basics of proactive parenting. https://lessdramamoremama.com/164

The late philosopher and psychiatrist Alfred Adler believed that "a misbehaving child is a discouraged child." In so many subtle ways, and without realizing it, we discourage our kids all the time. In this episode, I talk about the ways we unknowingly discourage our kids and offer some tips for encouraging them more. https://lessdramamoremama.com/163

Does your child struggle to do homework? Do you get into regular battles over it and question how much to get involved? In this episode, I offer my thoughts to get you in a calm and empowered frame of mind when it comes to your child's homework, so you know exactly how to help. https://lessdramamoremama.com/162

Do you wish your kids' grandparents acted differently? When you think about them, do you feel frustrated, resentful, hurt, or guilty? If you answered "yes," this episode is for you. Learn the secret to improve your relationships with your parents or in-laws, take back your power, and feel more at peace. https://lessdramamoremama.com/161

You have every intention of sticking to your limits, staying calm, and helping your kids through their difficult emotions. But in the heat of the moment, you find yourself giving into their demands, yelling, punishing them, or trying to fix their feelings. While counseling families with children ages six and under, today's guest sought to get to the root of what prevents moms from being the parents they want to be. Join me and Claire Lerner as we talk about making important mindset shifts to be able to respond to our kids more effectively. https://lessdramamoremama.com/160

You've got questions, I've got answers. In this Back-to-School episode, I'm answering questions submitted by moms when I asked, "What would be the most useful podcast for you right now about back-to-school issues?" Tune in to hear their concerns and questions, and how I addressed each one. If you have a question you'd like answered in a future episode, email me at [email protected] https://lessdramamoremama.com/159

I recently spent an unforgettable week working as a clinician at a grief camp for kids. While I'm sure I helped the campers learn and grow in many ways, they taught and inspired me a great deal, too. In this episode, I share my biggest takeaway from being at grief camp this summer and how it applies to you. https://lessdramamoremama.com/158

The start of the school year isn't how we imagined it would be last May when COVID cases were declining and vaccines became available to kids over 12. It's natural and normal to feel disappointed when your expectations aren't met or your plans change, but how good are you at actually allowing yourself to feel disappointed? In this episode, I talk about why it's important to allow disappointment and how resisting it can lead to greater suffering. https://lessdramamoremama.com/157