How Not To Suck At Divorce

Think emailing your divorce lawyer is the “cheapest” way to communicate? Think again.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan (yes, Morgan is solo because Andrea has the flu 😷) breaks down one of the most expensive mistakes people make during divorce: sending emotional, scattered emails instead of getting real strategy.We’re talking about when to email, when to call, when a face-to-face meeting is worth every penny, and how to show up prepared so you’re not paying for chaos. Plus: switching attorneys (when it’s time and when it’s not), pre-divorce “move smarter” tips, how to protect evidence, what to know about non-marital assets, beneficiary red flags, and why tax implications can become negotiation leverage.Bottom line: you need a plan—and you don’t get one by spiraling in your inbox.What You’ll Learn in This EpisodeWhy a phone call or face-to-face attorney meeting can be more cost-effective than emailsHow to stop reacting to your ex’s “urgent” messages and start operating with divorce strategyThe best way to prep for billable time: bullet points, goals, and an objectiveWhen it makes sense to consult another attorney (without immediately switching)What “collect evidence” actually means—and where to store it safelyWhy you should document what you entered the marriage with (non-marital assets)The red flag nobody thinks about: beneficiary changes during divorceHow divorce-related tax implications can become powerful negotiation pointsEpisode Highlights (Key Moments)00:00 Why face-to-face meetings can be more valuable (and cost-effective) than email01:15 Sponsor: OurFamilyWizard (co-parenting app / discount code)01:45 Morgan explains why Andrea is out + why this episode is a must-listen rerun03:48 The “nine emotional emails” problem—and what to do instead06:47 Secret #1: You don’t have to respond to everything on your ex’s timeline08:38 How to call your attorney with bullet points (and an objective)09:37 When a phone call isn’t enough and you need face-to-face strategy12:34 Secret #2: Move your body before you make decisions15:02 Secret #3: You can switch attorneys (but don’t do it while activated)20:38 Secret #4: Large purchases pre-filing (why timing matters)22:21 Secret #5: Collect evidence BEFORE it disappears25:44 Secret #6: Know what you came into the marriage with27:15 Secret #7: Watch for beneficiary changes28:35 Secret #8: Tax implications can be negotiation leverage40:09 Final takeaway: Divorce is a marathon—action steps matterThe 8 Best-Kept Secrets (Recap)You don’t have to respond immediately just because your ex demands it.Take a walk / move your body before making decisions.Phone calls or face-to-face meetings beat emotional emails (and can cost less).Consider timing for major purchases if divorce is imminent.Collect and store evidence safely (new email, new cloud, non-shared accounts).Document what you entered the marriage with (non-marital assets).Watch for beneficiary changes on insurance/retirement accounts.Understand tax implications—they can become negotiation points.Call to ActionNeed more support? Join our free community, grab our guides, and get the tools you need to make better decisions during divorce.And remember: You’ve got this… and we’ve got you.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

If your ex is still controlling you and you keep reacting, explaining, or trying to keep the peace… you might be actively hurting your legal case without even realizing it.Because here’s the thing: divorce doesn’t cure controlling behavior—it often exposes it. And control doesn’t always look loud. Sometimes it looks “polite.” Sometimes it looks like silence. Sometimes it looks like a thousand tiny moments that make your stomach drop.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, attorney Morgan Stogsdill and comedian Andrea Rappaport break down what control looks like after separation, why it escalates, and the legal + emotional action steps to shut it down.And yes—there’s also a story involving a tambourine, a fire-lit “happiness class,” and a man casually threatening everyone with a tombstone. (Welcome to the show.)What You’ll Learn in This Episode✅ How control shows up during divorce (even when it’s not obvious)Morgan explains that control can look like:Financial control: “I’ll pay when I feel like it,” monitoring spending, moving goalpostsMicromanaging parenting and second-guessing everything you doWeaponized silence / delayed responses to make you spiralMaking you feel like you need permission for decisions you don’t need permission for“Polite” manipulation disguised as “concern for the kids”Why control often escalates after separationAndrea explains the psychology: when someone loses access and power, they often pull harder—because control is how they regulate their discomfort.The dangerous legal issue most people miss: “splitting”Morgan explains how controlling behavior can drive a wedge between you and your attorney—making you doubt your lawyer, hold back details, or get pulled into the ex’s narrative.That’s not just stressful. It can derail your strategy and cost you serious money. The communication trap that keeps you stuckIf your nervous system is hijacked every time they text you, you’ll default to the old pattern:ReactingOver-explainingTrying to smooth things overTrying to get them to “understand”Which gives them exactly what they want: access.The Tools That Help You Stop the Control1) Tighten the structure (legally + logistically)Morgan explains why vague agreements don’t work with controlling people. Example of vague: “reasonable communication.” Problem: “reasonable” becomes a playground for manipulation.2) Reduce accessBecause (say it with us): control fades when access fades.That may mean:limiting communicationusing a parenting appnot responding to baitpushing communication through proper channels3) Stop JADE-ingAndrea shares the acronym JADE:JustifyingArguingDefendingExplainingMore words = more oxygen = more control.4) Use BIF responsesMorgan shares BIF (from Bill Eddy):BriefInformativeFirmFriendlyThe goal is to respond in a way that doesn’t invite more conflict—and doesn’t make you look unhinged if things end up in court.5) Use OurFamilyWizard (especially for parenting conflict)Morgan explains why a co-parenting app helps:reduces accesscreates recordsprevents chaosprovides structure and timelinesEpisode Takeaways (Your “Do This Now” List)If your stomach drops when they text you, do this:Tell your attorney what’s happening (don’t be embarrassed—this is common)Ask your lawyer how to tighten the structure with clearer court ordersReduce access and stop responding to baitUse JADE + BIF for cleaner communicationIf parenting is involved, get on OurFamilyWizard and stop trying to “co-parent” when you need to parallel parentResources MentionedOurFamilyWizard (court-respected co-parenting communication app)BIF communication method by Bill EddyOur $20 communication guide (how to respond without feeding the chaos)Our free private community for support + questionsAbout the PodcastHow Not to Suck at Divorce is hosted by Morgan Stogsdill, head of family law at the largest family law firm in the country, and comedian/marketing expert Andrea Rappaport. We help you avoid major divorce mistakes with expert guidance—plus the humor and levity you need to survive it.On your worst days, you’ve got this… and we’ve got you.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn m

Rushing a divorce can cost you money, leverage, and peace—especially if you’re dating, listening to family “advice,” or skipping the right experts. In this episode, Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport break down the most common divorce regrets and the smart, strategic moves to avoid them.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan and Andrea unpack the most common divorce regrets they see over and over again: the ones that quietly cost you money, complicate custody, drag out the process, and make you look back thinking… why did I do that?Get real divorce advice your lawyer may be too polite to share. We break down unpopular divorce opinions and practical divorce tips that can save you thousands of dollars in legal fees, reduce stress, and help you avoid costly mistakes. How Not to Suck at Divorce is the divorce podcast for people who want clarity, strategy, and supportFrom rushing because you’ve moved on romantically, to letting your dad become your “legal strategist,” to skipping experts like OurFamilyWizard because you’re trying to save money—this is your highlight reel of what not to do (and what to do instead).And yes… Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie make an appearance. Because apparently six marriages is one way to earn a PhD in divorce.In this episode, we cover:The #1 regret: rushing your divorce and leaving money on the tableWhy “I want to be divorced by March” can backfire fastHow outdated financials and an old balance sheet can cost you thousandsWhy your new partner should not be part of the divorce “mischigas”The danger of letting family and friends influence legal decisionsHow well-meaning parents can accidentally run up your legal billWhen outside experts (forensic accountants, co-parenting tools, therapists) actually save you moneyWhy trying to “cheap out” can lead to a future court nightmareThe difference between fighting for what matters vs. fighting over balsamic vinegarHow to decide what’s worth it (and what’s just ego, fear, or control)Key Takeaways (Quick & Skimmable)1) Don’t rush the process and leave money on the tableWhen you’re desperate to be done, you cut corners. That’s how people sign agreements with missing details, outdated account values, or unclear parenting language—then regret it later.Do this instead: Ask your attorney if your timeline is realistic, and if it is—map the steps from A to Z.2) Don’t bring your new relationship into your divorce chaosYour new person may mean well, but they are not your lawyer—and emotionally, it can start poisoning the relationship fast.Do this instead: Process the divorce with your therapist, your support system, and your attorney—not your new partner.3) Don’t let non-lawyers steer legal decisionsEven smart, loving parents can unintentionally derail the strategy—especially when they aren’t in the day-to-day “trenches” of your case.Do this instead: If a family member must join a call, keep it controlled: you’re present, they stay muted, and they ask questions at the end.4) Don’t skip tools and experts just to “save money”Skipping the right expert can create a bigger bill later—especially in co-parenting disputes, business valuations, and post-decree enforcement.Do this instead: If your attorney recommends something like OurFamilyWizard or a valuation expert, ask why—and seriously consider it.5) Don’t drag out your divorce fighting over small stuffThere’s a difference between protecting what matters and spending thousands to win a couch, condiment collection, or “principle.”Do this instead: Ask your attorney: Is this worth the cost to fight over?Action Steps (What to do today)Write down your goals: “What do I NEED vs. what do I WANT?”Ask your lawyer directly: “Am I rushing—and what could that cost me?”Update your financials before signing anything (especially account balances).Keep your support team clean: attorney + therapist + trusted friend (not your new partner).Stop paying legal fees for emotional processing—save that for therapy.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

When your divorce is dragging because the other side won’t respond, it can feel like psychological warfare—especially when kids and money are on the line. In this episode, Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport break down what’s actually happening when a divorce case stalls, how to tell the difference between normal delays and strategic stalling, and what to do next.You’ll learn the practical legal steps attorneys use to create structure—like mediation deadlines, motions to compel, subpoenas, depositions, and discovery strategies—plus the mindset shifts that keep you from spiraling and spending thousands of dollars reacting emotionally. Bottom line: when the time is right, get aggressive—because talk is cheap.Stalling is one of the most common (and most infuriating) divorce experiences, and it happens for a few big reasons:They don’t have their shit together (missing documents, incomplete financials, no affidavit, disorganized life)They think you’ll panic and settle cheap just to end the painIt’s a power play (silence = control, especially with high-conflict people)Their attorney is overwhelmed, under-resourced, or occasionally strategic (timing money events like bonuses, etc.)The good news: stalling isn’t a dead end. It’s a problem that can be solved with structure, strategy, and sometimes court pressure.The First Question to Ask Your LawyerBefore you go scorched earth, ask this exact question:“Is this delay normal… or is this strategic stalling?”Morgan explains that a good attorney can often tell you:whether the other lawyer is just chronically slow/unorganized, orwhether the other side is intentionally dragging things out to wear you down.These two scenarios require totally different responses.What Judges Respond To: Structure + DeadlinesStalled cases usually move when there’s something real on the calendar:court datesmotion hearingstrial datesmediations with firm deadlinesMorgan’s most practical advice:If nothing is moving, push for a trial date. Even if the first date doesn’t “stick,” a real end date creates pressure—and pressure creates movement.Action Steps: What You Can Do When the Other Side Won’t Respond1) Stop guessing. Get clarity.Tell your attorney you’re frustrated and ask:Is this normal?What’s the standard timeline in this jurisdiction?What steps do we take in order if they don’t comply?At what point do we file something?This helps you avoid spending money “going aggressive” too early… only for the judge to give them another two weeks anyway.2) Use mediation for structure (when appropriate)If both parties will participate, mediation can impose deadlines and create structure outside the court’s slow pacing.But if the other side is truly non-cooperative, Morgan’s blunt truth is:“The only road it all leads to is the courthouse.”3) File the motion when it mattersWhen someone repeatedly ignores deadlines, attorneys can file motions that force compliance (example: motion to compel for missing financials or discovery).Morgan’s mantra:“When the time is right, get aggressive. File that motion. Put your money where your mouth is—because talk is cheap.”4) Use discovery to shake them awakeDepending on your state/country, your attorney may be able to use tools like:Subpoenas (banks, employers, third parties)Requests to admit (miss the deadline → deemed admitted in some places)Depositions (sometimes the notice alone changes behavior)Other discovery strategies tailored to what the other side is hiding/protectingKey idea: if they think non-response prevents you from finding things, they’re wrong. You have legal tools.The Mindset Shift That Saves You ThousandsAndrea nails why stalling feels so brutal: silence makes our brain fill in the worst story.But spiraling leads to:emotional प्रतिक्रtionslate-night lawyer textsexpensive back-and-forthmore stress (and less strategy)Their advice:treat it like an office problem: warnings → structure → consequencesdon’t “manage” your ex—you can’tfocus on what you control: your strategy + your next moveUnpopular (but important) truth: Sometimes it’s your lawyer.Andrea and Morgan both acknowledge that sometimes the delay is happening because your attorney isn’t assertive enough.What to do:Tell your lawyer clearly what you expect and ask for a planIf it doesn’t improve, consider switching attorneys or adding support from someone else at the firmYou’re allowed to advocate for yourself.Key TakeawaysFind out if the delay is normal vs. strategicStructure moves stalled cases: deadlines, hearings, trial datesAggression works only when timed correctlyDiscovery tools can force the truth out (even when they stall)Don’t let silence bait you into expensive emotional reactionsSometimes the fix is a better plan—or a stronger attorneyWhat can I do if my spouse won’t respond in a divorce?Talk to your attorney about whether it’s normal delay or stalling. If it’s repeated, attorneys can use mediation deadlines, motions to compel, subpoenas, and setting court/trial dates to force progress.When s

If you’re saying “my ex is a narcissist”… listen first.If you’ve spent more than five minutes on TikTok, Reddit, or Instagram, you’ve seen it everywhere: “My co-parent is a narcissist.” And we get why that label feels validating. It gives your pain a name.But here’s the problem: labels don’t carry weight in court — behavior does. And when you lead with a diagnosis you can’t prove, you risk looking reactive, emotional, or unreliable in the one place where credibility matters most.In this episode, we’re joined by two powerhouse custody attorneys — Kristen Holstrom and Samantha McBride (the Custody Queens) — to explain what actually helps you win: specific facts, consistent documentation, strong boundaries, and a strategy that keeps you from getting pulled into emotional warfare.What You’ll Learn in This EpisodeWhy calling your ex a narcissist can backfire legally and emotionallyThe difference between traits vs. a true clinical diagnosis (and why it rarely shows up in court)What judges care about most in custody cases: co-parenting and facilitating the other parent’s relationshipHow to build a case using patterns, timelines, and evidenceWhy social media is forever (even if you delete it)How co-parenting apps like OurFamilyWizard can protect you and create documentation“Chess, not checkers”: how to stop reacting and start controlling your side of the streetWhy custody evaluations can go sideways when you show up with labels instead of factsKey Takeaways (AKA: The stuff that saves you money and sanity)1) Labels feel good. Evidence wins cases.Courts don’t decide custody based on “he’s a narcissist.” They decide based on what happened, how often, and how it impacts the children.2) Your credibility is everything.If you sound like you’re diagnosing your ex, you may unintentionally look like the unstable one — especially in high-stakes settings like custody evaluations.3) Social media can cost you custody time and settlement leverage.Posting, reposting, liking, or commenting on “narcissist” content can be used against you. Even deleted posts can come back via screenshots.4) Boundaries are strategy — not weakness.Tools like OurFamilyWizard don’t mean you failed. They mean you’re building guardrails and a paper trail.5) Power is preparation.When you’re organized, strategic, and documenting the right things, you get your power back.Action Steps (Do this after you finish the episode)Drop the label. Keep the facts. Replace “He’s a narcissist” with: “He missed 7 pickups in 30 days.”Build a timeline. Dates, times, missed exchanges, late pickups, medical info withheld, school info excluded.Get specific court orders. Vague orders create chaos. Specificity creates enforcement.Use a co-parenting app (OurFamilyWizard or similar). Keep communication child-focused and court-friendly.Stop feeding the fire on social media. No posting. No subtweeting. No “oops I deleted it.” None.Clean your side of the street. Judges watch who facilitates co-parenting — even with a difficult person.Timestamps (Key Moments)00:00 — “If you’re calling your ex a narcissist… that might hurt you.”01:03 — Meet the guests: Kristen Holstrom & Samantha McBride (“Custody Queens”)02:17 — “Labels don’t carry weight; behavior does.”03:12 — Why “narcissist” and “parental alienation” can reduce credibility06:37 — What judges care about most in custody cases07:52 — “How many times have I seen a formal diagnosis? Zero.”09:45 — Why the “narcissist” label can be a compliment (and a distraction)10:02 — Why your therapist shouldn’t diagnose your ex12:29 — Social media: what happens when it gets used in court16:07 — Andrea’s confession: when your own texts become the problem18:14 — Likes and shares can derail settlement19:46 — “Party favors” story + chain-of-texts problem22:26 — You’re divorcing them… but you’re still co-parenting26:45 — Custody evaluations: how labels can flip the spotlight onto you29:07 — The right way to present problems: evidence, examples, documentation35:32 — OurFamilyWizard: why it protects BOTH parents37:21 — “Legal strategy replaces emotional storytelling.”39:14 — “Power is preparation.”40:04 — Rapid-fire recap: the one thing each guest wants you to remember48:05 — Final takeaway: courts respond to facts, not labels50:18 — You’re going to be okay — minute by minute if neededAbout Our Guests: The Custody QueensKristen A. Holstrom, CFLS and Samantha McBride, CFLS are managing partners of Custody Queens, focused on high-conflict, complex custody cases. They also host podcasts Custody Queens On Air and CQ Off the Clock, and share custody and co-parenting education across social platforms. https://custodyqueens.com/Follow them:Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this

One minute you feel strong, clear-headed, and relieved… and the next you’re sobbing in your car wondering if you just destroyed your life. If you feel emotionally unrecognizable during divorce, you are not alone—and you’re not “doing it wrong.”In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, attorney Morgan Stogsdill and comedian/marketing guru Andrea Rappaport break down the emotional rollercoaster of divorce—why it happens, why it’s normal, and how letting emotions drive decisions can create legal and financial consequences you can’t unwind.You’ll learn how to adopt emotional neutrality (without becoming emotionless), why realistic expectations protect your sanity, and the exact do’s and don’ts that help you stay grounded—especially when kids and co-parenting are involved.What You’ll Learn in This EpisodeWhy divorce triggers “emotional whiplash” (relief, guilt, rage, panic, regret—sometimes all at once)The difference between feelings vs. facts in divorce decision-makingWhy emotional highs aren’t the problem—expectations areWhy emotional lows don’t mean you’re making the wrong choiceWhat “emotional neutrality” actually means (and why it’s self-preservation)How to ask your attorney for realistic expectations and a Plan BThe biggest mistakes people make when they’re activated (and how to avoid them)Practical ways to regulate your nervous system and get off the rollercoaster(Practical Action Steps)If you’re in the early stages of divorce—or you’re already activated—here’s what Andrea and Morgan want you to do:✅ 1) Adopt emotional neutrality“That meeting went well. Okay.”“That meeting didn’t go well. Okay.” Neutrality is not numbness. It means your feelings are not in charge.✅ 2) Ask for realistic expectations (every time)When something goes well, ask your attorney:“What’s a realistic expectation from here?”“What if this strategy doesn’t work—what’s our Plan B?”✅ 3) Don’t make permanent decisions in temporary emotional statesMorgan’s legal rule: if you’re activated, you pause—not react.✅ 4) Stabilize with routinePredictable routines regulate your nervous system when your life feels unpredictable.✅ 5) Write it down—don’t reactJournal the emotion, then bring it to your therapist (not your attorney). Your attorney is your legal guide—not your emotional support system.✅ 6) Choose ONE safe personAvoid oversharing with people who escalate you (you know who you are, “Tina from the bar” 😅).✅ 7) Use tools that reduce conflictConsider structured communication support through a court-respected co-parenting app like OurFamilyWizard.What Not to Do (This Can Hurt Your Case)Don’t threaten your spouse (ever)Don’t overshare with people who escalate youDon’t send your attorney a midnight novel (it’s expensive and rarely helps your case)Don’t treat one good meeting/email like it means the whole divorce will be easyDon’t catastrophize one bad development into “I ruined my life”Mentioned in This EpisodeOurFamilyWizard (co-parenting communication app) Save 20%: ourfamilywizard.com/not suck 20 (as stated in the episode)Quote-Worthy Moments“Divorce doesn’t bring one emotion. It brings all of them.”“The high isn’t the problem—expectations are.”“Emotional neutrality is self-preservation.”“The law operates on facts, not your feelings.”“The goal isn’t to stop your emotions—it’s to stop letting your emotions drive decisions.”Who This Episode Is ForThis episode is for you if:You’re newly separated or just starting the divorce processYou feel emotionally unrecognizable (high highs + low lows)You’re scared you’re making the wrong decision because you feel unstableYou want practical tools to stay calm and protect your caseYou’re co-parenting or worried about how divorce impacts your kidsDisclaimerThis podcast is for educational and informational purposes and does not provide legal advice. Always consult a licensed attorney in your jurisdiction regarding your specific situation.Find our playlists here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/podcastRate our podcast 5 stars here: www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuckOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natur

If you haven’t filed for divorce yet but you’re spiraling, crying, rage-texting, and panic Googling how to leave your spouse...this episode is your pre-divorce game plan.Andrea walks you through the “invisible work” that protects you before you file: creating a private email, organizing finances, understanding monthly expenses, regulating emotions, interviewing attorneys strategically, protecting kids from adult stress, and avoiding common mistakes that can cost you money (and peace).This is not about being sneaky—it’s about being smart.Key Topics CoveredWhat to do before you file for divorceHow to create a private email and start organizing information safelyThe pre-divorce financial lists you need (accounts, debts, passwords, credit score)Why tracking monthly expenses now saves you later (hello, financial affidavits)How to stay emotionally neutral and avoid the “high-high / low-low” spiralHow to interview attorneys and choose the right “business partner”What NOT to do before filing (spending changes, threats, escalating conflict)How to protect your kids (routines, boundaries, therapy support)Bonus: writing down your “why” and what you want on the other sidePractical Pre-Divorce Action Steps (Checklist)Do these before you file:Create a new private email address (separate from anything your spouse can access).Start a Google Doc/Sheet to track:All known accounts (banking, retirement, investments, credit cards, loans)Unknowns you need to identify (accounts you suspect exist, balances you don’t know)Passwords/access issuesPull your credit score and document it.List all monthly expenses (mortgage/rent, utilities, insurance, subscriptions, kids’ expenses, activities, childcare).Interview at least 3 attorneys before hiring—choose strategy, not vibes.Keep household routines stable (especially if you have kids).Don’t threaten, don’t escalate, and don’t make sudden spending changes.Get a hobby/outlet (something healthy + consistent).Consider lining up a therapist for your kids if you expect the process to hit them hard.Write down your why: what you want, what you’re not getting, and your vision for the future.Notable Quotes“This is not being sneaky—this is being smart.”“Divorce is a business. Marriage is a business. Being in love is not.”“Don’t be like me. I left a lot of f*cking money on the table.”“You’re not hiring a best friend. You’re hiring a business partner.”Who This Episode Is ForAnyone thinking about divorce but not ready to fileAnyone feeling overwhelmed, panicked, or emotionally activatedAnyone worried about money, kids, or choosing the right attorneyAnyone who wants a practical, step-by-step pre-divorce planDisclaimerThis podcast episode is for informational and educational purposes only and does not provide legal advice. Always consult an attorney in your jurisdiction for guidance on your specific situation.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseFind our playlists here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/podcastRate our podcast 5 stars here: www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuckOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Join our private community on Facebook right hereInstagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

Support and survival tools for one of the hardest days of divorce.“When the house is quiet, the feelings are loud.” If you’re facing Christmas (or any holiday) without your kids, this episode is your survival guide.Andrea Rappaport and Morgan Stogsdill talk about one of the most painful parts of divorce: the first (or early) holidays when your children are with the other parent. The anxiety can start days in advance, and the empty-house silence can feel unbearable — but Morgan reminds listeners that this is usually a moment in time, not a sign that you made the wrong decision about divorce.You’ll hear real, practical tools for getting through the day hour-by-hour (doggy paddling counts), what not to do when you’re spiraling, and why “effective support” matters. You’ll also get tips for keeping conversations with your kids positive, avoiding emotional landmines, and making a plan that helps you survive the holiday — without shame, stalking your ex, or numbing yourself into oblivion.In This Episode, We CoverWhy holidays without your kids after divorce can feel like a crisis momentHow to tell the difference between grief and a “divorce decision”Why “two truths can coexist” (you can be doing the right thing and it can hurt)The best coping strategies for surviving Christmas without your childrenWhat not to do: social media spirals, isolating, stalking your ex, emotional decisionsWhy moving your body helps your mind calm down (“an exhausted body is a calm mind”)How to use community support (even anonymously) when you feel aloneHow to talk to your kids without making them feel responsible for your emotionsCo-parenting communication tools (and why OurFamilyWizard helps when rules aren’t followed)Morgan’s “Chad” story: how making a plan helped a parent survive the first Christmas aloneWhy leaving the house is the #1 non-negotiable tool (even a drive-through counts)Key Takeaways1) This is normal — it doesn’t mean you’re weakAndrea says it best: no amount of self-care candles fixes the fact that your kids aren’t here. Missing your children doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re hurting.2) Don’t make big decisions in a holiday spiralMorgan sees clients question everything during the holidays — but she rarely sees people truly halt divorce because of it. These feelings are real, but they’re usually temporary.3) Doggy paddling is still progressYou don’t have to “thrive” today. You just have to get through it. Hour-by-hour is allowed.Holiday Survival Plan (From the Episode)Here’s your breakdown, straight from Morgan + Andrea:✅ 1. Move your body (or at least get moving)Walk outside if you canIf it’s cold: use a short YouTube workout videoIf you hate workouts: get in your car and go somewhere (Target counts)✅ 2. Get support — and help someone elseJoin the private community (anonymous if needed)Post what you’re doing to lift your spiritsAsk for support or distractions if you’re strugglingCompliment a stranger — small moments matter✅ 3. Do something with your handsClean. Organize. Junk drawer. Closet. Anything that creates:distractionaccomplishmenta tiny sense of control in a messy season✅ 4. Have a plan for the day (chunk it- hee hee "chunk" is such a funny word)Morning / midday / evening. Decide:where you’ll gowhat you’ll eatwhat you’ll watchwhat you’ll do when the feelings hit✅ 5. Keep kid conversations brief + positiveDon’t guilt your kids or make them feel responsible for your sadness. Have a “safe” positive story ready before you call.✅ Bonus idea: go to a movieIt’s a built-in time block, gets you out of the house, and gives your brain a break.What NOT To Do (Important)Don’t numb yourself into oblivion (alcohol, doom scrolling, dissociating)Don’t isolate all dayDon’t stalk your ex or interrogate your kidsDon’t make big legal/emotional decisions todayDon’t shame yourself for feeling sad or relievedIf you’re spiraling: stay off social mediaHere are some podcasts we love:Morgan's picks:NPR News Now (omg boring)Big Deal Andrea's picks:Crime JunkieAndrea's favorite YouTube workout channel-https://www.youtube.com/@MadFitJoin our private community here: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/17bUX16Wvz/Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity

Why the holidays amplify doubts. What to do instead of panicking.If you're overwhelmed, exhausted, pretending you’re fine, or Googling “How to pretend I'm not miserable in my marriage and ruin Christmas?” this conversation is exactly what you need.December hits differently when your marriage feels heavy. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan and Andrea break down why the holidays can push you into emotional overdrive and why that does not automatically mean you need to file for divorce today. From understanding the difference between a crisis moment vs. a clarity moment, to learning the now-iconic Pantry Party Plan, this episode gives you practical strategies to stay grounded, calm, and emotionally safe during one of the most triggering months of the year.You’re Not Weak — You’re OverwhelmedAndrea and Morgan open the episode with a message so many listeners need to hear:You’re going to be okay.Holiday stress isn’t proof that your marriage suddenly collapsed — it’s proof that December is a pressure cooker.Friends. Traditions. Money. Kids. Expectations. Fake joy.Your nervous system is maxed out, and that’s normal.A crisis moment feels like:wanting to flee your househiding in the pantrycrying out of nowherefantasizing about driving away and not coming backpanic bubbling in your chestThese moments do NOT require divorce decisions.A clarity moment feels like:“Yep… this marriage still doesn’t feel right.”annoyance, sadness, or distancenoticing repeating patternscalm recognition of misalignmentClarity = informationCrisis = not the time to actThis distinction alone saves listeners from major mistakes.December will give you a moment where you need to step away — mentally or physically.Andrea introduces the Pantry Party Plan, a simple, strategic grounding tool to stop panic from running the show.Step 1: Set a timer.3 minutes → small wobble5–7 minutes → medium crisis10 minutes → major meltdown preventionStep 2: Exhale first.Panic makes it nearly impossible to breathe in.So start by pushing out all your air, then allow the inhale.Step 3: Add your mantra.Pick something that makes you laugh, relax, or feel powerful.Andrea’s?“Bitches ain’t shit.”Find one that works for YOU.🧘‍♀️ Why December Makes Everything Feel WorseMorgan breaks down the legal + emotional side:Emotional triggers:holiday traditions when you're unhappyforced family timepretending everything is fineloneliness in a room full of peopleconstant “countdown” messagingfinancial pressureLegal triggers:you feel like decisions MUST be made nowyou assume you need to file before year-endemotions wipe out logicReality:Unless you are in a dangerous or urgent situation, you do NOT need to make major legal moves in December.🗓 Give Every Big Feeling 24 HoursDecember creates urgency — emails scream “LAST DAY!” and everyone feels squeezed.But Morgan and Andrea give the rule:WAIT 24 HOURS before acting on heavy emotions.Your clarity returns when your nervous system stabilizes.🛑 This is NOT the Time for Legal ListsUnlike many episodes, this is NOT when you:list marital issueswrite notes for your attorneyplan financial strategymake decisions about filingThis is the month of survival, not productivity.Your only job: protect your head and heart.🎁 Why Gift-Giving Can Actually Be HealingAndrea shares how crafting a thoughtful teacher gift became an unexpected source of joy when nothing else felt good.For some people, creating something for someone else can momentarily relieve the emotional load.For others?Like Morgan?It’s stress-inducing.Pick the lane that helps YOU.📺 What to Watch When Holiday Movies Make You CryAvoid the emotional Hallmark specials.Andrea recommends lighter options — like Nailed It — to give your brain a break from holiday perfection and family-togetherness fantasy scenes.👥 You’re Not Alone — Join the HNTSAD Private CommunityIf you're feeling isolated, the private community offers:anonymitysupport from people who get itguidance from Morgan and Andreaa place to ask real questionsPlus: more tools on the website, including the Divorce Crash Course and other guides.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce

How to prepare, protect yourself, and move forward without rushingThis episode is especially helpful if you’re searching for:How to prepare for divorce without filingEmotional separation before divorceHow to survive the holidays before divorceWhat is a silent divorce?How to tell your spouse you want a divorce (but not yet)Divorce timing strategyHow to protect kids during separationIf you’re quietly planning your next chapter, this one is for you.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport dive deep into the concept of the silent divorce: the unofficial, emotional separation that happens when one or both partners know the marriage is ending, but they're not ready to officially file yet.If you're feeling emotionally checked out, unsure of timing, scared of disrupting the holidays, or stuck in a “limbo marriage,” this episode helps you understand what a silent divorce is, the signs you're in one, and most importantly : what to DO about it.Andrea and Morgan break down two scenarios:1️⃣ When both spouses know divorce is coming but are waiting.2️⃣ When only one spouse knows, and the other has no idea.You’ll hear practical guidance, emotional support, and legal strategy to help you prepare without panicking, protect your kids, and avoid major divorce mistakes.Plus, you’ll hear hysterical QuickBooks chaos, psychic readings on Oak Street, and a glamorous side quest to the Waldorf Astoria. Classic HNTSAD energy.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:✔ What a “silent divorce” actually isHow emotional withdrawal and parallel living become the early stage of divorce long before filing papers.✔ Signs you’re in a silent divorce– Minimal communication– Loss of intimacy– Roommate vibes– Emotional loneliness– Avoidance of conflict– No partnership energy✔ If both partners know divorce is comingDo this:Keep things predictableSet temporary boundaries (separate bedrooms, shared spaces, routines)Treat this time as preparation, not limbo✔ If only you know divorce is comingDo this:Understand your secrecy is not deceit — it’s strategyConfide in only ONE trusted personStart preparing emotionally, financially, and legally✔ Why timing matters (especially during the holidays)Morgan explains why the holiday season is almost never the right moment for a divorce announcement — legally, strategically, and emotionally.Andrea shares how to survive the “holiday performance pressure” without pretending everything is perfect.✔ How to handle parenting when you're silently divorcingSimple scripts, routines, and communication tips to help keep kids grounded and minimize emotional fallout.✔ The #1 thing that reduces divorce fear: preparationFear = confusionConfidence = clarityThis episode shows you how to take the first steps safely, smartly, and privately.“A silent divorce is not a selfish move — it is a strategic move.”“You don’t have to file today to start preparing for tomorrow.”“Secrecy isn’t deceitful — it’s careful.”“A silent divorce is a temporary solution, not a long-term fix.”“Preparation reduces panic.”Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

Why strategy, not emotion, wins negotiations.Emotions don’t win in divorce court — facts and strategy do. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, divorce attorney Morgan Stogsdill and comedian-turned-divorce-advocate Andrea Rappaport walk you through how to negotiate your divorce like a pro using their THINK framework:T – Take the emotion out of itH – Have realistic non-negotiablesI – Identify their pain pointsN – Negotiate from facts, not feelingsK – Keep your BATNA in mind (your best backup plan)If the idea of mediation, settlement conferences, or sitting across from your ex makes you want to hide in a hole, this episode is your game plan. You’ll learn how to work with your lawyer instead of against them, what’s actually realistic to ask for, how to use what you know about your ex as legal leverage, and why clinging to your emotions can cost you big money, time, and sanity.Whether you’re just starting your divorce, heading into mediation, or trying to wrap up a long, exhausting case, this episode will help you stay out of court if possible, save money, and make smarter decisions for you and your kids.In This Episode, We Cover:Why “facts win” in divorceHow emotions spiral, stories get twisted, and why judges and mediators care about documents, numbers, and timelines — not drama.T = Take the emotion out of itAndrea’s “Ziploc bag and freeze your feelings like a 2018 pot roast” strategyHow to notice when you’re triggered in mediation (hello, Brenda and Chad)What to say to your lawyer when you’re about to lose it — and when to zip it and let them speak for youH = Have realistic non-negotiablesThe difference between must-haves and nice-to-havesWhy “I want 100% custody” usually isn’t realisticHow to decide which holidays, financial terms, or parenting provisions are truly non-negotiableMorgan’s example of a client who refused to accept any end date on maintenance — and why that was realistic in her caseI = Identify their pain pointsHow to “play detective” and figure out what your ex really cares about (ego, money, reputation, time with kids, a specific property, etc.)Morgan’s story of using a husband’s obsession with a particular property to get her client more money on the balance sheetWhy negotiation is less about what you want and more about what motivates themN = Negotiate from facts, not feelingsWhy you should write your facts in clear bullet points, not emotional paragraphsHow “friend of the family” promises and verbal side deals (hi, John 🙃) don’t count in courtThe power of real numbers and real documents: appraisals, bank statements, incomes, and written offersK = Keep your BATNA in mindWhat BATNA actually means in divorce: Best Alternative to a Negotiated AgreementHow to think about your “backup plan” if mediation doesn’t work — i.e., what a judge is likely to do with your factsWhy knowing your BATNA calms panic, helps you avoid low-ball offers, and keeps you from spending more on legal fees than you stand to gainWhen it’s actually smarter to stop fighting, accept a good-enough deal, and go homeWhat to really expect from mediationWhy the first day of mediation often feels “wasted” and why it’s actually valuable intelHow good lawyers use mediation to study your ex, learn their triggers, and refine strategyWhy mediation that “fails” still teaches your lawyer how to help you at the next stageHow to use your lawyer the right wayWhat to ask your attorney when you’re overwhelmed: “If this were your life, what would you do?”How to talk honestly about risk, cost, and realistic outcomesWhy you should stop trying to be the lawyer and let your lawyer do their actual jobEmotions are valid, but they don’t belong at the negotiation table.Work with your lawyer to define realistic non-negotiables based on the law, not just your fear or anger.Use what you know about your ex’s insecurities and priorities as strategic leverage.Facts, numbers, and written offers win in divorce — not stories, verbal promises, or assumptions.Always know your BATNA (what likely happens in court) so you’re not negotiating from panic.Mediation rarely feels “pretty,” but it’s almost always cheaper, faster, and less emotionally damaging than court.You are not supposed to already know how to do this — that’s why you have a lawyer and your divorce besties, Andrea & Morgan.We are truly engaged with Truly Engaging cards. It's THE BEST way to remain connected with your community. Use code: NOTSUCKTE to get 10% off your order and ask to have Alisiah help you!! www.trulyengaging.comOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20Friends, slide into our

Hard truths that can save you time, money, and sanity.If you want the real truth about divorce, buckle up. In this episode, Andrea and Morgan deliver the unfiltered, uncomfortable, absolutely-necessary truths your lawyer wishes you understood…but might be too afraid to say directly.From how the legal system really works to why your expectations are sabotaging your sanity, this episode is the wake-up call you need if you’re navigating divorce, co-parenting, or even just preparing for that dreaded Thanksgiving dinner with your very opinionated family.This one is honest, hilarious, a little unhinged (hi Andrea), and packed with strategic guidance that will help you avoid major mistakes.What You’ll Learn in This Episode1. Nothing in divorce is “fair” — and why that mindset will destroy youThe legal system doesn’t care about fairness. It’s designed for equitable distribution, not emotional justice.2. Stop expecting the legal system to deliver revengeMorgan breaks down why the courts aren’t built to punish your ex — even when you deeply (and correctly) feel they deserve it.3. Lower your expectations, raise your strategyWhy your expectations are often unrealistic, what “the range” actually means in divorce outcomes, and how lowering your expectations protects your mental health and your wallet.4. Know the law where you actually live (yes, geography matters)Andrea reminds listeners that different states = different standards. Don’t guess. Don’t Google. Ask your lawyer to explain what’s realistic where YOU live.5. Stop focusing on your ex — focus on YOUYour ex won’t suddenly transform into a better human mid-divorce. (Brenda does not become Glinda.) Focus on your responses, your regulation, and your strategy.6. Backseat drivers & Thanksgiving disastersHow to shut down intrusive family commentary (“That’s not fair!”) and exactly what to say at the holiday table when everyone wants details about your divorce.7. Your kids will hurt — but they will be OKAndrea shares her own emotional story about her first Thanksgiving without her kids, and how focusing on what she could control changed everything.8. Do NOT fire off emotional textsUse a communication app like OurFamilyWizard to protect yourself legally and emotionally — especially with the ToneMeter feature that stops you from sending something you’ll regret. Hard Truths from This EpisodeThe legal system is not designed to make you feel better.Your ex won’t change just because you’d like them to.Your attorney isn’t your therapist.Fairness is not a legal standard. Equitable is.Focusing on your ex keeps you stuck.You are responsible for asking your lawyer the right questions.Your expectations need to be realistic, not emotional.⏱️ Timestamps00:00 — Hard truth: nothing about divorce is “fair”00:05 — Why the legal system will NOT give you justice or revenge00:21 — Show intro01:12 — Morgan’s chaotic morning + the freight elevator monkey situation02:38 — Why a small client gift boosted the entire legal team03:26 — Andrea’s shocking weekend text to Morgan04:30 — Kim Kardashian’s “All’s Fair”: Andrea’s surprising review05:36 — HARD TRUTH #1: Lower your expectations08:43 — How to “bet on yourself” when everything feels unstable10:08 — The client who saved millions by lowering expectations10:58 — Best case vs worst case vs realistic outcomes12:11 — HARD TRUTH #2: Nothing about this will feel fair14:48 — What “equitable” actually means in divorce17:02 — The danger of getting stuck in unfairness mindset18:39 — How to handle family’s opinions during holiday gatherings20:47 — HARD TRUTH #3: The system is not built for revenge22:02 — HARD TRUTH #4: Stop focusing on your ex’s behavior22:40 — Letting go of trying to “teach lessons”24:39 — Why your ex won’t suddenly improve during divorce25:50 — HARD TRUTH #5: Focus on YOU, not Brenda27:17 — Why lawyers don’t tell you these things directly28:49 — What to say at Thanksgiving to shut down nosy relatives31:05 — Andrea’s raw story of her first kid-free Thanksgiving33:22 — The “body shot off Dad” moment (you know it’s coming)34:52 — Divorce is a marathon, not a sprint35:26 — Resources, guides & community linksThis episode is your permission to drop the guilt, stop white-knuckling the process, and start approaching your divorce with clarity, strategy, and self-compassion.If you’re going through a divorce right now — especially a high-conflict one — this is the episode you can’t skip.Rate, review, and share to help someone who needs it.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. W

Making better decisions by understanding what really matters.If you’re in the middle of a divorce and constantly asking yourself “WHY is this happening?”, this episode is about to save you money, misery, and a whole lot of emotional tailspinning.This week, Andrea and Morgan dive deep into the question that can either move your divorce forward—or completely derail you: WHY.When is asking why strategic?And when is it a waste of attorney fees (or your sanity)?To help break it all down, we’re joined by Cary J. Mogerman, one of the most respected divorce attorneys in Missouri. Cary brings decades of experience, a wise-professor vibe, and a no-nonsense approach to helping clients understand the process clearly, calmly, and strategically.Cary J. Mogerman is one of the most highly regarded divorce lawyers in Missouri and wellknown to other top family law attorneys throughout the United States. He is a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and in 2022, served as President of the national organization. He is a Diplomate of the American College of Family Trial Lawyers, an invitation-only assemblage limited to 100 members throughout the United States; Cary is a member of its executive committee. He is a Fellow of the International Academy of Family Lawyers.https://carmodymacdonald.com/people/cary-j-mogerman/In this conversation, you’ll learn:Why “Why is this happening to me?” is a therapist question—not a lawyer questionHow to ask WHY in a way that strengthens your strategy, saves money, and reveals leverageWhy understanding your spouse’s emotional triggers can completely shift mediationThe one communication mistake clients make that drives lawyers insaneWhen your lawyer should break things down in plain languageWhy slowing down your responses (yes, YOU) will prevent disasterHow to stop burning money on the wrong kind of questionsWhy the legal process feels slow, confusing, and unfair—and what to do with thatHow to advocate for yourself without apologizingPLUS: Andrea reveals a HUGE co-parenting milestone (Shabbat dinner with the ex… yes, seriously), and Morgan talks through why listeners were so triggered by last week’s episode—and what that means for your own healing.This is the episode you NEED if you’re negotiating, mediating, litigating, co-parenting, or just trying to get through the day without rage-texting your ex or panic-emailing your lawyer.Key Takeaways1. Not All “Why” Questions Are Helpful“Why is this happening?”“Why is he acting like this?”“Why is she being crazy?”These are human questions—but not legal ones.They belong in therapy, not in your billable hours.2. Strategic Why’s Are POWERFULWhy are we filing this motion?Why is this our mediation plan?Why is my ex reacting this strongly to ONE issue?These help your attorney build a smarter, more effective case.3. Your Lawyer Should Explain Everything in Plain LanguageCary breaks down why attorneys NEED to simplify their communication—and why you should never feel embarrassed asking:“Can you explain that in normal-person English?”4. Your Spouse’s Triggers = Your StrategyYou know your spouse better than anyone.Your insights help your attorney negotiate smarter and faster.5. Don’t Make Split-Second Decisions During Emotional SurgesYou’re not being chased by a bear.Slow down. Breathe. Don’t respond immediately.You can literally save thousands of dollars by pausing.6. Your Lawyer Isn’t Your TherapistIf you use your attorney to process grief, fear, or trauma—you’ll pay for it.A therapist handles feelings.A lawyer handles logistics and strategy.7. Mediation Success Depends on the WhyUnderstanding WHY your ex digs their heels in reveals:leveragepressure pointsopportunities for compromise8. Don’t Waste Your Money Asking Why the Law Is UnfairIt is unfair.But your lawyer can’t change it.Save your dollars for actual strategy.Timestamps00:00 — Cary opens up about the problem with legal language00:09 — Morgan: never feel bad asking “why”00:19 — How WHY can transform mediation00:46 — Show intro01:22 — Connecting instead of isolating during divorce01:37 — Truly Engaging partnership02:19 — Holiday-card humor + promo code02:26 — Being proactive vs reactive in divorce02:44 — Why communication apps matter (Our Family Wizard plug)03:19 — Andrea drops a HUGE co-parenting surprise05:02 — The Shabbat dinner miracle (yes, really)06:33 — Listener backlash from last week07:40 — Nervous system regulation in co-parenting08:53 — Introducing guest attorney Cary Mogerman10:16 — Why blindsided spouses struggle with “why”12:04 — When WHY keeps clients stuck13:26 — The role of therapy vs legal strategy14:44 — The cost of asking the wrong WHY15:30 — When WHY is your best tool17:02 — How WHY reveals leverage in mediation17:54 — Plain language: the communication clients deserve19:48 — Don't feel bad asking your lawyer to explain21:22 — Email vs call: when & how to communicate22:18 — How to prep for a paid call with your attorney23:41 — Using WHY strategically in litigation &a

How one shift can reduce conflict and protect your kids.If the idea of “healthy co-parenting” makes you want to throw your phone, this episode is for you. Comedian Andrea Rappaport and powerhouse family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill sit down with co-parenting expert and bestselling author Jon Bassford, JD, MBA, CAE, whose real-life story of turning a hostile divorce into a functional, daily-communication co-parenting dynamic will shock you—in the best way.Jon's new book, The Co-Parenting Secret: It's Not About You, doesn't sugarcoat the difficulty or pretend everyone can be friends. Instead, it offers a revolutionary reframe: stop thinking about "my time" or "their time" and start thinking about your child's life. It challenges the toxic win/lose mindset and offers a new model: collaborative parenting focused on emotional safety, communication, and showing up for your kid every time.His message resonates with divorced, separated, dating-but-split, or any parents navigating two-home situations, because it's not about having a friendly ex or following a perfect plan. It's about making intentional choices that prioritize your kids above your own convenience, preferences, or pride.Jon is also a TEDx speaker, CEO of Lateral Solutions, and brings 20+ years of executive leadership to his work but this book isn't about applying business frameworks to family life. It's about the messy, honest journey of getting co-parenting right after getting it wrong.Jon didn’t start with unicorns and rainbows. There was resentment, trash-talking, incompatible living… the whole messy thing. But he learned the intentional steps that transform co-parenting from a battleground into actual teamwork. In this episode, we dig into what co-parenting looks like when it’s real, what to do when your ex refuses to cooperate, and why saying “Of course” instead of “Fine” could change literally everything.Whether you’re co-parenting with a narcissist, parallel-parenting with someone who refuses to meet you halfway, or just trying to not lose your mind over a simple schedule swap, you’ll walk away with mindset shifts, scripts, action steps, and legal strategy you can use TODAY.Key Takeaways1. Co-Parenting Doesn’t Start Perfect — It EvolvesJon and his ex did not get along at first. There was hostility, miscommunication, and resentment — just like what most people experience. Progress happens in baby steps, not giant leaps.2. Saying “Of Course” Isn’t About Your Ex — It’s About YouYour instinct is to say “no.” That’s human. But dropping your guard and choosing calm over chaos immediately changes your internal state. Less spiraling, less anger, less anxiety.3. Strategic Co-Parenting Helps You in CourtMorgan breaks down how tools like Our Family Wizard create evidence showing you are the reasonable parent. If a judge ever needs to get involved, this matters A LOT.4. Letting Go Isn’t Weak — It’s SurvivalJon explains how resentment destroys your peace more than it punishes your ex. Letting go isn’t excusing behavior — it’s freeing yourself.5. Your Why Keeps You GroundedCo-parenting gets easier when you know why you’re doing it: stability for your child, emotional peace for yourself, and a healthier long-term dynamic.Timestamps00:00 — Why “our natural reaction is to say no”00:17 — Morgan explains the legal strategy behind saying “yes”00:31 — What saying “of course” does for you00:57 — Andrea on isolation during divorce01:12 — Why connecting with community matters01:27 — Truly Engaging partnership + holiday card conversation02:15 — Morgan’s hilarious mic apology03:06 — “Morgan Scorsese” (thanks, Steve)03:40 — Why co-parenting can feel impossible04:14 — Introducing guest Jon Bassford04:53 — Jon’s unconventional upbringing + what didn’t work05:39 — The truth: it wasn’t always peaceful07:10 — How his childhood shaped his co-parenting philosophy08:30 — Why the “bad dad schedule” is dying10:22 — What co-parenting actually looks like in real life11:05 — The messy middle: trash-talking, resentment, counseling14:04 — How Jon began putting his son first15:54 — Why outside opinions can derail progress17:14 — What to do if your ex won’t cooperate17:55 — The power of one “yes”20:01 — Co-parenting with a narcissist, abuser, or difficult ex20:55 — Using Our Family Wizard strategically22:20 — What saying “of course” does to your nervous system23:46 — Andrea on emotional regulation + your brain under threat24:35 — Why counting overnights ruins everything27:56 — Jon’s 3 action steps30:01 — What “letting go” actually means31:06 — The ghosts of past, present & future32:38 — Jon’s book: The Co-Parenting Secret34:55 — Baby steps: the real way co-parenting improves35:40 — What everyone’s kids are eating (Lunchables, cheeseburgers, Walmart nuggets, god help us)38:02 — The 6-7 meme takes over Halloween38:48 — Closing thoughts + encouragement40:52 — How to join the community + resources41:09 — Final reminder: “You’ve got this… and we’ve got you.”Episode Resources & Links✨

A simple framework for smarter decisions when emotions run highThis week, Morgan and Andrea flip the script and want you to SUCK at divorce. Yep, you read that right. Learn how to Set aside your feelings, Utilize experts, Calm your nervous system, and Know the facts: a game-changing framework that’ll help you make better decisions (and fewer expensive mistakes) during your divorce.From cortisol spikes to co-parenting apps, nervous-system hacks, and even Amazon finds that actually don’t suck, the girls cover it all ...with the perfect blend of legal insight, emotional honesty, and wine-soaked humor you’ve come to expect.🧠 What You’ll LearnWhy your emotions are the worst business partners during divorce — and how to manage themHow to think like a CEO (even when you feel like a hot mess)When and how to actually use your divorce expertsSimple science-based tricks to calm your body in moments of panicHow to separate facts from feelings to protect your sanity (and your wallet)🛠️ The SUCK FrameworkS – Set aside your feelingsU – Utilize expertsC – Calm your nervous systemK – Know the facts (and stick to them)🥂 Quote of the Week“Divorce is a marathon — or as Andrea would spell it, a Martha-thon"Timestamps:05:01 – The Hulu Show That Made Us CringeAndrea reviews All’s Fair — the all-female divorce firm drama starring Kim Kardashian — and the verdict? “It sucks.” (Which turns out to be the perfect segue…)07:46 – Introducing the SUCK AcronymMorgan and Andrea unveil a new framework that will actually help you survive your divorce with your dignity intact:S – Set aside your feelingsU – Utilize expertsC – Calm your nervous systemK – Know the facts (and stick to them)09:02 – Step 1: Set Aside Your FeelingsMorgan explains the science behind emotional flooding (hello, cortisol!) and how to think like a businessperson instead of a brokenhearted one.10:34 – Andrea’s Advice for the Highly EmotionalIf you can’t be calm — pretend to be someone who can. Channel your inner TV badass (minus the tire-slashing).11:35 – Step 2: Utilize ExpertsMorgan reminds listeners: you hired your experts for a reason. Don’t go rogue.12:55 – Why Ignoring Your Attorney’s Advice BackfiresAndrea walks through what happens when clients do the opposite of what their lawyer says — and how to avoid a legal disaster.15:59 – Step 3: Calm Your Nervous SystemAndrea and Morgan dig into the physical side of stress. What happens in your body when your ex drops a bombshell — and how to get your calm back.17:54 – Morgan’s “20-Minute Rule” for FreakoutsShe shares a practical strategy: take 20–30 minutes before responding to any major divorce news. No driving, no emailing, no rage-texting.19:44 – Andrea’s Panic-Proof ToolkitThe “panic attack queen of Chicago” shares her science-backed tricks: movement, cold exposure, vagus-nerve activation, and a hilarious deck of cards that actually help.22:29 – Step 4: Know the Facts and Stick to ThemMorgan explains why emotional storytelling wastes time and money — and how bullet-pointed facts will save your case.23:50 – Feelings Aren’t FactsAndrea breaks down why your opinions about “Brenda being a nut job” won’t hold up in court.25:07 – How It All Comes TogetherAndrea explains how each SUCK step builds on the next — from calming your system to using your experts effectively.26:46 – Recap: Why You Need to SUCKMorgan summarizes the SUCK method and introduces their thriving online communities.27:53 – The Community ShoutoutsThey celebrate the rapid growth of their private and post-divorce Facebook groups (and tease upcoming expert videos).29:17 – Andrea’s Favorite Amazon FindsIce rollers, mood-light sconces, and gifts that make your friends’ day — because retail therapy totally counts as healing.30:44 – Morgan’s $40 Spanx DupeThe jumpsuit that broke the internet (and didn’t break the bank).33:57 – Red Light SpecialAndrea’s bedroom lighting hack turns hilariously NSFW — and somehow ties back to the theme of “sucking.”Resources:Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseWe are truly engaged with Truly Engaging cards. It's THE BEST way to remain connected with your community. Use code: NOTSUCKTE to get 10% off your order and ask to have Alisiah help you!! www.trulyengaging.comOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckPlease rate our show! It means so much!! www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuckAmazon Links:Andrea's Vegus Nerve Deck: https://a.co/d/7oH0YBrAndrea's Ice Roller: https://a.co/d/5euYlveMorgan's SKIMS Dupe Sweatsuit: https://a.co/d/6tJ8zeRAndrea's battery operated light fixtures: https://a.co/d/5Pqt2SqJoin the private communities!The How Not to Suck at Divorce CommunityThe How Not

Why the finish line is the most dangerous phaseYou’re almost done… which is exactly when smart people make expensive mistakes. In this punchy, practical episode, Andrea and Morgan tackle “divorce senioritis”, that end-of-process urge to rush, stop reading, or pick last-minute fights, and lay out the three biggest mistakes people make in the final stretch of divorce (plus how to avoid them without losing your mind or your money).✅ What You’ll Learn (Skimmable Takeaways)1.Don’t glaze over “small” document editsTiny word shifts like “may / shall / will” can flip legal meaning.Action: Print the latest draft, run a Word Compare, read line-by-line for one quiet hour, and send your written questions to your attorney.Ask explicitly: “Do these changes affect any earlier documents (e.g., parenting or financial agreements)?”2.Stop the 11th-hour nickel-and-dimingAdding minor demands late (or “saving money” by not calling your lawyer) can drag negotiations and raise fees.Action: Bullet the 5–8 items bugging you; ask your lawyer:“Which of these have a realistic chance of success and are worth pushing to get us across the finish line?”Big picture > petty wins.3.Prepare for the mixed emotions after finalizationRelief, sadness, anticlimax—it’s normal to feel the opposite of what you expected.Action: Don’t over-schedule a celebration that day. Give yourself space to process, rest, and recalibrate.🕒 Suggested Chapter Markers00:00 Senioritis is real: why the finish line is risky05:24 The urge to “just sign it” (and how that backfires)10:14 Compare feature, “may/shall/will,” and cross-document impacts16:40 Nickel-and-diming at the 11th hour (and how to reframe control)23:39 Read like a businessperson, not a broken heart25:39 The post-divorce emotional curve (why it’s anticlimactic)28:38 Don’t plan a blowout the day it finalizes—plan space33:12 Mini-game: Marry or Divorce? (PG-13 edition)Please rate our show! It means so much!! www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuckJoin the private communities!The How Not to Suck at Divorce CommunityThe How Not to Suck at Life AFTER DIVORCE CommunityWe are truly engaged with Truly Engaging cards. It's THE BEST way to remain connected with your community. Use code: NOTSUCKTE to get 10% off your order and ask to have Alisiah help you!! www.trulyengaging.comOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners and save 20% off your first year of the essentials package http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

What to avoid before emotions derail your caseThe first 30 days of divorce can feel like a tornado: unpredictable, emotional, and expensive if you’re not careful. In this episode, hosts Andrea Rappaport (comedian + marketing guru) and Morgan L. Stogsdill (family law powerhouse) share the top three mistakes people make in the early days of divorce, and how to avoid them.From texting your ex when you’re angry, to oversharing on social media, to thinking you can “speed through” the legal process. This episode breaks down the emotional, financial, and legal landmines that derail people again and again. You’ll laugh, cringe, and probably see yourself in a few of these moments (we’ve all been there).If you’re newly separated or about to file, this episode is your permission slip to pause, breathe, and get smart.🧾 In This Episode:1️⃣ Mistake #1: Expecting it to get easier right awayWhy things actually feel worse before they get betterHow to ask your attorney for a 30-day roadmapThe importance of managing adrenaline and expectations2️⃣ Mistake #2: Venting online (and via text)Why your DMs, TikToks, and “inspirational quotes” can backfire legallyThe true cost of an emotional text (yes, every angry email = more billable hours)How to protect your privacy and your kids’ peace during divorce3️⃣ Mistake #3: Rushing through paperwork to “get it over with”Why going too fast leads to expensive mistakesHow to give yourself grace — and time — in the processWhy “slow and steady” really does win this race💬 Key Quotes“Don’t pop the popcorn and let everybody watch the show. Go to the real people in your world who are there to lift you up.” – Andrea Rappaport“Divorce is a marathon, not a sprint. Sometimes it’s day by day, other times hour by hour — and that’s okay.” – Morgan StogsdillThe early days of divorce are all about emotional control, clarity, and smart strategy. Expect the chaos, plan for it, and don’t react from pain. Whether you’re tempted to overshare online, over-email your lawyer, or overthink your ex ... stop, take a breath, and remember: you’ve got this. And we’ve got you.🔗 Resources Mentioned💌 Join Our Private Community: For support, laughter, and real talk✉️ Truly Engaging Cards: Connect with your people this holiday season ([link + promo code in show notes])We are truly engaged with Truly Engaging cards. It's THE BEST way to remain connected with your community. Use code: NOTSUCKTE to get 10% off your order and ask to have Alisiah help you!! www.trulyengaging.comOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

Why mixing emotional support with legal strategy can hurt your caseWhen divorce gets messy, who gets the details, your best friend or your lawyer? Comedian Andrea Rappaport and family-law powerhouse Morgan L. Stogsdill break down exactly what belongs in your attorney’s inbox (strategy, facts, timelines, negotiations) and what belongs at brunch (feelings, venting, support). You’ll learn how to communicate efficiently to save money, protect leverage, and avoid sabotaging your case, plus how to choose the right friends to lean on without getting “keyed up and liquored up” and firing off expensive emails. Practical scripts, pattern-tracking tips, and a reminder that attorney-client conversations are confidential.Negotiating without lawyers? Tell your attorney first.What to report: “We’ve been negotiating directly,” plus the round-by-round back-and-forth (Offer → Counter → Counter). This preserves leverage and prevents your lawyer from being blindsided by opposing counsel’s “but the parties already agreed…” (≈ 11:00–12:31).Use cost-effective communications.Prefer a short bullet-point email or a 15-minute call to recap facts; end with a clear question (“Is this relevant / do you need more?”) so your lawyer can triage quickly (≈ 12:06–12:41, 16:45–17:45).Medical issues can change your financial outcome.Tell your lawyer the bottom line (e.g., “Follow-up testing showed I had a stroke; next steps include X”). This can impact maintenance/alimony, health-insurance planning, and future medical costs—don’t hold back due to privacy; it’s confidential (≈ 6:01–8:54).Kids & custody: document patterns, not one-offs.Track behaviors over time (timeline with dates) and escalate only when a pattern emerges. Use a co-parenting app (e.g., OurFamilyWizard) so records are centralized and tamper-resistant (≈ 18:59–20:29, 36:13–36:49).Do not crowd-source legal strategy or finances to friends.Don’t pass around your financial affidavit/balance sheet or share strategy; non-experts amp anxiety and can trigger costly re-work by your legal team (≈ 24:07–26:45).Avoid “keyed up + liquored up” emails.Late-night venting to your lawyer = billable time and often requires follow-up to unwind, costing hundreds for nothing actionable (≈ 24:49–25:48).Attorney-client privilege & scope.Your lawyer needs high-level facts and actionable timelines; save feelings for friends/therapist unless they reveal patterns relevant to the case (≈ 4:47–5:37, 18:59–19:46).00:00 Why lawyers need the facts; negotiating w/o attorneys03:38 Attorney vs. friend: who gets what06:01 Medical issues that change financial outcomes09:35 Private negotiations: how to report rounds + counters12:06 Bullets vs. calls; add a question to every email16:45 Kids’ issues: patterns, timelines, apps21:16 Choosing the right friend (avoid “Sally Big Mouth” & hidden agendas)24:07 Don’t show friends your balance sheet; cost traps32:56 Community + handwritten cards (sponsor segment)41:19 Marathon mindset + resources/community“Your attorney protects your case; your friend protects your heart—don’t confuse the two.”“If you’re negotiating directly, tell us—and give the round-by-round offers.”“Report like a newscaster: facts, dates, sequence. Feelings go to friends.”“Keyed up + liquored up = very expensive emails.”Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseWe are truly engaged with Truly Engaging cards. It's THE BEST way to remain connected with your community. Use code: NOTSUCKTE to get 10% off your order and ask to have Alisiah help you!! www.trulyengaging.comOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

What you need to know before negotiations begin.Money talk can make anyone want to hide under a blanket (or a naked sweater 👀), but dividing assets during divorce doesn’t have to send you into a panic spiral. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, comedian Andrea Rappaport and powerhouse attorney Morgan Stogsdill break down the financial side of divorce into three simple letters: A, B, and CYou’ll laugh, you’ll cringe, and you’ll definitely take notes as Andrea and Morgan make sense of the mess — from Target runs and Amazon receipts to Botox budgets and business-minded thinking.Here’s what you’ll learn:A — Ask for Help: How to stop avoiding financial paperwork, and who you should lean on (yes, paralegals and lawyers are your new BFFs).B — Think Like a Business Person: Why emotions can tank smart decisions — and how to negotiate like you’re closing a deal, not fighting a war.C — Calculate, Don’t Catastrophize: The mindset shift that keeps you out of the panic zone and focused on strategy, not drama.Morgan’s expert tips on financial affidavits, balance sheets, and why honesty about your spending (yes, even the Botox) pays off in the long run.Andrea’s real-life story about getting zero in her settlement — and how she turned it into a comeback.Wild (and hilarious) real-world examples of divorce gone petty — from stolen cabinet knobs to donation revenge schemes💡 Whether you’re splitting assets worth millions or dividing a Target cart, this episode gives you the knowledge, humor, and empowerment to handle your money like a pro — without losing your sanity.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseIf you have a concern about alcohol use during coparenting time, you need Soberlink. Head to www.soberlink.com/notsuck to see how Soberlink can be used in your case and claim your $100 Visa gift card.Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

Practical steps to move forward even when the case isn’t over.Do you feel like your life is on pause until your divorce is finalized? You’re not alone, but you don’t have to wait for papers, court dates, or signatures to start moving forward.In this candid (and hilarious) episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, comedian Andrea Rappaport and top family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill share the real truth about life “in limbo” during divorce and how to reclaim your sense of control today.What You'll Learn:Why waiting for “someday” is the biggest trap people fall into during divorce.The difference between what’s legally on hold vs. what’s emotionally self-imposedPractical ways to feel progress when everything seems stuck: routines, and community support.Andrea’s relatable (and ridiculous) humor about skincare, salmon sperm masks, and why she hates the word healing.Morgan’s legal tips on dating, parenting schedules, and even buying a house before your divorce is final.A game called “I Give You Permission” where the hosts hand out real-life permission slips to help you breathe easier and take action now💡 Whether you’re stuck living with your ex, confused about dating during divorce, or simply tired of waiting, this episode gives you both the laughs and the strategies you need to feel less like you’re treading water and more like you’re steering the ship.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and Morgan Stogsdill get into the often-overlooked connection between divorce and grief. Divorce can intensify feelings of loss, loneliness, and emotional pain, making it crucial to find healthy coping mechanisms, community support, and tools for personal growth.The hosts explore why grief isn’t just about the death of a loved one—it’s also a natural and valid response to the end of a marriage or relationship. They break down common misconceptions about grief, the importance of mental health support, and how to create grief-informed workplaces that help employees heal. You’ll also hear actionable strategies for emotional healing, including creative outlets and building supportive communities.If you’re navigating the complex emotions of divorce and grief this conversation offers both compassion and practical guidance.What you'll learn:Divorce is grief: Ending a marriage is a major life loss that requires emotional healing.Holidays amplify emotions: Loneliness and sadness often increase during seasonal gatherings.Grief is not linear: It may show up as anger, sadness, guilt, or even relief.Misconceptions hurt healing: Ignoring or minimizing grief can slow down recovery.Community matters: Leaning on support groups, friends, and family can ease the burden.No set timeline: Everyone’s grieving process looks different.Workplace awareness: Grief-informed policies benefit both employees and employers.Creative outlets help: Journaling, art, and other self-expressive activities can be powerful coping tools.Validation is healing: Recognizing all forms of grief encourages healthier mental health.You’re not alone: Many people share similar struggles and experiences.Rebecca Feinglos (pronounced fine-gloss) is a certified grief support specialist and founder of Grieve Leave. Rebecca founded Grieve Leave in 2021 as a way to document her experience on a year-long grief sabbatical, as a way to process her own grief and loss— she lost her mother in her teens, her father in 2020, and her marriage in a drawn-out divorce. Grieve Leave has grown into a community of 25,000 that provides tangible takeaways, resources, and a healthy dose of humor, creating an entire movement around taking intentional time to grieve. Rebecca has been featured in LA Times, Fortune, TIME, HuffPost, Slate, and ELLE for her raw and revolutionary voice, inspiring a more grief-informed world.Resouces:Grieve Leave: check them out here: www.greiveleave.comSoberlink: Save $$ off your alcohol monitoring device by visiting Soberlink here: www.soberlink.com/notsuckOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckHow Not to Suck at Divorce Private Community: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1EdbV4Yr79/Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.TikTok: @divorcepodcastInstagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

When you’re in the middle of a divorce, one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make is hiring the right attorney. In this powerhouse episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, hosts Andrea Rappaport (comedian) and Morgan Stogsdill (head of family law at the largest firm in the U.S.) sit down in Los Angeles with celebrity divorce attorneys and judges to uncover what really matters when it comes to navigating high-stakes cases.From avoiding the “shark attorney” trap to protecting your kids and learning how to negotiate like a pro, this episode is full of real talk and insider advice. Oh, and yes—we spill some behind-the-scenes tea from our LA adventure, hotel fiascos included.What You’ll Learn in This Episode 🎧Why hiring the wrong lawyer can ruin your case(and why “sharks” only guarantee that lawyers win—not clients).What judges look for when deciding if an attorney is a good fit for your case.The “beauty pageant” of divorce attorneys — and how to shop smart without rushing.Communication mistakes that cost thousands, like adding one little jab (“jerk”) to an otherwise harmless text.How to protect your kids from being dragged into custody disputes or used as messengers.Negotiation secrets: why making the first offer usually leads to a better deal.The role of forensic accountants and when you really need one.Celebrity divorce lessons: what everyday people can learn from the way stars protect their privacy and brand.Expert Voices in This EpisodeYou’ll hear from some of the most respected celebrity divorce attorneys and judges in Los Angeles, including:Chris Melcher – High-profile family law attorney known for representing celebrities.Celebrity lawyer Christopher C. Melcher is ranked as a best family law attorney in California 2023 (Band 1 Chambers High Net Worth) and is a partner of top family law firm Walzer Melcher YodaCommissioner Gretchen Taylor – Hon. Judge bringing empathy and sharp insights from the bench.Prior to her tenure on the Los Angeles Superior Court and the Riverside Superior Court, Hon. Gretchen W. Taylor, a Certified Family Law Specialist since 1991, was a successful Beverly Hills Family Law attorney for 18 years. Judge Dianna Gold-Saltman – Family law judge offering candid advice on communication and expectations.Hon. Dianna Gould-Saltman (Ret.) is a well-respected family law attorney and was a Los Angeles Superior Court judge. In her first year as a private neutral, Judge Gould-Saltman was named one of 24 leading family law private judges in the State of California by Doyle’s Guide.Steve Mindel – Renowned attorney breaking down negotiation, financial pitfalls, and the psychology of divorce.With over 30 years of experience in family law, Steven A. Mindel is the Managing and Founding Partner of FMBK and a Certified Family Law Specialist*, dividing his time between leading one of Southern California’s premier family law firms and representing clients in complex matters. Why This Episode MattersMost people panic-hire the first lawyer they meet. But the right attorney won’t just tell you what you want to hear—they’ll push back, set realistic expectations, and protect your long-term stability. This episode arms you with the questions to ask, the red flags to spot, and the strategies that save time, money, and your sanity.Resources & Links MentionedDivorce Crash Course → A step-by-step guide on hiring the right attorney and avoiding costly mistakes. www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com "You Got This and We Got You" Hats! https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/giftsSoberlink → Alcohol monitoring to keep kids safe during parenting time. soberlink.com/notsuckLevitt Quinn- The services that they offer in LA county help so many who otherwise would not have access to legal representation  https://levittquinn.org/ Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20And last, but not least, please go check out the FABULOUS SLS Hotel in Beverly Hills, tell them How Not to Suck at Divorce podcast sent you! They'll be extra nice!SLS Beverly Hills👉 Listen now to hear what celebrity judges and attorneys want you to know about divorce—and how to avoid the biggest mistakes.Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.TikTok: @divorcepodcastInstagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

Do you want your lawyer to actually call you back, explain the plan, and move your case forward? It’s not magic...it’s how you communicate and collaborate.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea and Morgan break down what puts you on your divorce attorney’s priority list (and what lands you on the “not today” pile). You’ll hear real stories, simple scripts, and clear next steps to get faster responses, clearer strategy, and better service...without spending more than you need to.What You'll Learn:How to make your divorce case a priorityHow long it should take for your attorney to respond to youHow to get clear action steps from your divorce attorneyKnowing when is it time to get a second opinion or switch divorce attorneys and how to do itHow to not annoy your divorce attorney so they won't hate you and not prioritze your case!Listen in for the exact do’s and don’ts, respectful scripts that work, and a refreshingly honest take on getting the support you deserve during divorce.Resources & Links Mentioned in This Episode:Need a thoughtful way to connect? Shop our curated greeting cards here.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major (and expensive) mistakes. Learn more here.Our Family Wizard is a fantastic resource for anyone navigating co-parenting. Check out our partnership here.Friends, slide into our DMs—we love hearing from you. We’re always here to listen and help in any way we can. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.Instagram: @hownottosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

When an affair is part of your divorce story, it can feel like there’s no justice...especially in a no-fault state. In this candid, funny-but-serious conversation, Andrea and Morgan break down what you can control: your money, your mindset, and your parenting decisions. They explain how dissipation (spending marital funds on a third party) might matter, when it’s worth digging into records, what to ask your lawyer, and why protecting your mental health (and your kids) is the real win. You’ll also hear how new partners or messy situations (hello, “au pair drama”) can affect parenting time and how to keep your own behavior from hurting your case.What You’ll Learn:What a no-fault divorce actually means for affairsHow spending money on someone else can affect your caseA simple way to ask your lawyer about looking into dissipation without overspendingWhy protecting your mental health matters more than “justice”How new partners or messy situations can impact parenting timeOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

How to decide without letting fear or pressure drive the choiceWhen you’re stuck wondering if you should stay married or finally move forward with a divorce, the decision feels impossible. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea and Morgan get real about how to weigh your options—emotionally and practically—so you can stop spinning in circles and start finding clarity.They share a powerful acronym to help you evaluate your marriage, plus the exact logistical steps you should take if divorce might be on your horizon. From emotional check-ins to financial prep, you’ll walk away knowing what questions to ask and what to do next.Questions answered in this episode:How do you know if it’s really your marriage—or just outside stress—making you unhappy?What is the TALK acronym and how can it help you evaluate your relationship?Why is therapy (with a professional, not a friend) a critical first step?What does “attunement” actually mean in a marriage, and why does it matter?How can laughter and levity show you the health of your relationship?Why do you need to understand the divorce process before making a decision?What financial steps should you take if you’re not sure whether to divorce?How does timing (holidays, business cycles, even illness) affect the right moment to file?What should you know about custody laws in your state before deciding?How do you know if you’re mentally strong enough to start the divorce process?Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

Let’s face it—back to school hits different when you’re divorced… and especially when you’re the one stuck writing 40 thank-you notes from a six-year-old who can barely write his name.In this episode, Andrea and Morgan are tackling two of the most unhinged yet relatable parenting hurdles:🎁 Kid birthday party etiquette (aka the gift spiral from hell)📚 Back-to-school survival when you’re divorced or divorcingFrom the emotional whiplash of a toddler’s party gift pile to awkwardly dodging your ex at curriculum night, these two don’t hold back. Expect brutal honesty, hysterical hypotheticals (yes, hiring someone to write thank-you notes is discussed), and practical survival tips to help you navigate the school year without screaming “NOT WELL, B*TCH!” at the PTA meeting.What You’ll Learn (and Laugh About):Why Lego gifts are basically a hate crimeHow to communicate with teachers without throwing your ex under the school busWhat to do when your kids feel caught between two parents on the first day of schoolWhy sitting with your ex at a band concert might not be best (even if Celine Dion is involved)The right (and wrong) way to set expectations with schools and teachersTips for socializing as a newly single parent (yes, we see you hiding in your car after drop-off)Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

From the outside, her life looked perfect.Happy family. Beautiful vacations. Matching holiday photos.But behind closed doors?Control. Confusion. And a slow erosion of self-worth.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and Morgan Stogsdill sit down with Laura Richards, host of That’s Where I’m At, to unpack what it really looks like to leave a controlling, emotionally abusive marriage—and what happens next.Laura shares her experience of living with covert narcissism, curating a “perfect” life on social media while privately feeling trapped, and the moment everything finally clicked.This is a must-listen if you’ve ever questioned:“Is this normal?” “Why do I feel so off in my own marriage?” “Why is leaving so hard—even when I know something isn’t right?”💥 IN THIS EPISODE, YOU’LL LEARN:What covert control and emotional abuse actually look like in a marriageThe subtle phrases and behaviors that slowly break down your confidenceWhy “perfect” marriages on social media can hide the most dysfunctionHow control often escalates during divorce—not endsThe risks of using a mediator without legal representationWhy you need your own attorney (and how to protect yourself legally)How to create a safety plan—even if there’s no physical abuseWhat to expect emotionally when leaving a controlling partnerWhy things often get worse before they get better🚨 REALITY CHECK:Just because there’s no physical abuse…Doesn’t mean you’re safe.Emotional control, manipulation, and financial pressure are real—and they often intensify once divorce begins.⚖️ CRITICAL DIVORCE TAKEAWAYS:Do not rely solely on a mediator—get your own attorneyProtect financial information and important assets earlyExpect control dynamics to shift once you initiate divorceHave a legal safety plan in place before making movesBuild a support system (lawyer, therapist, community)💔 WHAT NO ONE TELLS YOU:You may discover things after your divorce that completely change how you see your marriage.New relationships. Hidden behavior. Financial secrets.And that moment?It can feel like being re-traumatized all over again.“You’re going to do a lot of this afraid… and that’s okay.”Healing isn’t about going back to who you were.It’s about becoming someone who can never be broken that way again.emotional abuse marriage, covert narcissism marriage, controlling husband signs, divorce from narcissist, leaving toxic marriage, divorce advice for women, high conflict divorce, mediation vs lawyer divorce, signs of emotional manipulationIf this episode felt familiar, you are not alone—and you are not crazy.Follow How Not to Suck at Divorce for real, strategic guidance that helps you protect your time, money, and sanity.Website: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/Podcast: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/episodes/Instagram: @thatswhereimatpodcastOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

Abuse doesn’t always leave visible scars. If you’re in a marriage where your every move is controlled; whether it’s how you spend money, where you go, or who you see, you may be experiencing abuse without realizing it.In this episode, we’re giving you the 3 critical steps to take before you leave an abusive marriage, straight from a divorce lawyer’s perspective. Then, you’ll hear a riveting, eye-opening conversation with Dr. Nadine Macaluso—therapist, trauma-bond expert, and former wife of Jordan Belfort, the infamous “Wolf of Wall Street.”Dr. Nadine shares:How coercive control and trauma bonds keep people trappedThe truth about love bombing, cognitive dissonance, and the cycle of abuseWhat really happened behind the Hollywood portrayal of her marriageHow she rebuilt her life, earned her doctorate, and now helps others break freeWhether your situation mirrors hers or not, the insight and strategies in this episode could save you time, money, and possibly your safety.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

In today's episode, Andrea sits down (sans Morgan! She's out of the country!) to drop some real talk about the hard truths of divorce that no one wants to hear...but everyone needs to. From AI misinformation to expensive attorney mistakes, high-conflict communication, and the emotional fallout of lost friendships, this episode delivers clarity and comfort for anyone navigating the messy middle of divorce.As always...Absolutely NO fluff. No filter. Just the truth. And a whole lot of support.What You’ll Learn:Why you should NEVER EVER use Chat GPT for divorce adviceHow to stop chasing “fair” and start playing smartWhat to ask your lawyer before litigation (and how to prep your mindset)Why calming your nervous system is the most powerful legal tool you haveHow to protect your wallet when communicating with your attorneyWhat to do when your friendships shift during your divorceMentioned Episodes:How to Prepare for a Divorce Battle with Mia PoppeAI, ChatGPT, and Divorce: What You Need to Know with Steven BradleyOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

AI might be your late-night bestie, but should it be your divorce attorney? In this candid and insightful episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan and Andrea welcome back crowd-favorite and former FBI agent Steven Bradley aka the Tech Cowboy to bust myths, deliver tough truths, and provide essential clarity around using AI like ChatGPT during divorce. From legal hallucinations to cringeworthy court moments, this episode will change how you think about AI’s role in your case (and possibly your life). Tune in to learn how to use these tools wisely without risking your custody case, or your dignity.What You’ll Learn:Why ChatGPT is not designed for divorce or legal advice, and how it can backfireWhat “AI hallucinations” are and why they matter in courtHow Our Family Wizard’s ToneMeter AI actually protects youSimple rules for using AI safely (and legally) during divorceThe difference between closed AI and open AI and why it matters for your caseQuestions Answered in This Episode:Can ChatGPT really help you with your divorce?Why is it risky to input personal info into open AI tools?What’s the legal fallout of using AI-generated legal documents in court?How can co-parents use AI responsibly when emotions are high?Is there any safe way to get help from AI during divorce?Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

In this powerhouse episode, Andrea and Morgan welcome powerhouse attorney and metaphysical strategist Mia Poppe to help listeners emotionally and mentally prepare for the courtroom. Mia shares her toolkit for staying grounded during the most difficult moments of divorce—especially when “divorce psychosis” sets in. This raw, honest, and practical episode is packed with real-life strategies for surviving and thriving through litigation.What You’ll Learn:What “divorce psychosis” is and why it’s a temporary but very real stateHow to protect your peace when litigation gets nastyTactical steps to handle inflammatory messages from opposing counselWhy emotional intelligence matters more than money in courtHow meditation and mindset work can transform your case and your lifeOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Connect with Mia Poppe:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miapoppe.esq/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/miapoppe/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@nylawsaWebsite: https://www.miapoppe.com/Join the free community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1399345284195177Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

In this episode of How Not To Suck At Divorce, Heather McGinley, Emmy award-winning author and founder of The Happily Never After, shares her powerful story of growing up in a fundamentalist Christian family with 21 siblings and how her unconventional upbringing shaped her approach to relationships and divorce. She discusses the mistakes she made during her divorce process, including not interviewing multiple attorneys and failing to file for temporary support, while offering hope that life's most difficult endings can lead to beautiful new beginnings.What You'll HearHeather's shocking revelation about growing up as the eldest of many children in a "quiverfull" fundamentalist Christian household (hit play to find out HOW many siblings 👀)How religious trauma and purity culture affected her ability to form healthy relationshipsThe moment her therapist helped her realize she had shut down emotionally as a survival mechanismWhy she says she "should have gotten divorced before getting married"Her biggest mistakes during the divorce process, including financial decisions that cost her $20,000Her experience working as a producer on Oprah's show and the valuable lessons about intentionThe "bathroom floor" moments during divorce and how to get through themHow divorce became the catalyst for her personal growth and ability to love authenticallyQuestions Answered in This EpisodeHow does childhood trauma affect relationship choices in adulthood?What are the biggest mistakes people make when hiring a divorce attorney?When should you file for temporary spousal support during divorce proceedings?How do you know when it's time to get divorced?Why does divorce often get harder before it gets better?What should be on your divorce support team?How can you maintain hope during the darkest moments of divorce?What role does personal growth play in the divorce process?How do you move from surviving to thriving after divorce?Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

Fear. It’s the uninvited guest in every divorce and today, we’re dragging it into the light. Andrea and Morgan sit down with Crazy Ex-Wives Club host Erica Bennett, whose own divorce journey turned from heartbreak and confusion into a masterclass in emotional self-preservation. Erica shares how fear nearly derailed her decisions, how she clawed back her confidence, and why your fear is lying to you. From psychic readings to the art of “future tripping,” this episode is packed with hard truths, solid strategies, and a big reminder that you are not alone in the chaos.What you’ll learn: • Why fear is a terrible advisor during divorce • How to identify fear-based thinking before it tanks your decisions • The problem with “future tripping” and how to stop it • Tips to reset your nervous system when you’re spiraling • What really happens during trial separations (and why they often backfire) • The emotional cost of being “too nice” during divorce • How to keep your kids at the center and not the middle of co-parenting • Tools for managing communication when your ex checks out • Why shared custody must come with accountability • How Erica rebuilt her life and happiness post-divorceOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

Andrea and Morgan are diving deep into the emotional rollercoaster of pre-divorce decisions, from trial separations and nesting, to financial agreements and moving out. With personal stories, expert legal insight, and a healthy dose of humor, this episode is a must-listen for anyone standing at the edge of a marital crossroads. Whether you’re considering divorce or simply feeling unsettled, this episode will help you think three steps ahead and avoid the most common (and very costly) mistakes.What you’ll learn:Why trial separations may backfire (especially if kids are involved)The pros and serious cons of nesting during separationHow moving out early can hurt your case without proper legal strategyWhy unofficial financial deals are a huge red flagWhat to do instead: safe, strategic first moves to protect yourselfOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

When manipulation sneaks into your divorce, it’s not just annoying, it’s super dangerous. In this candid episode, Andrea and Morgan teach you how to spot the most common manipulation tactics used before and during divorce, and how to stop falling for them. With the unforgettable acronym WTF (Want, Three Steps Ahead, Facts), they walk you through real scenarios, including guilt-tripping about the kids, controlling family finances, and “let’s not use lawyers” setups. Plus, Andrea shares a personal story that inspired the entire conversation complete with a tribute to her late grandmother, the original queen of no-BS.What you’ll learn:The WTF method: Want, Three Steps Ahead, and FactsHow pre-divorce manipulation keeps you stuck (and what to do)Why “we don’t need lawyers” is a massive red flagGuilt tactics involving kids, family, and moneyHow to shut down drama without escalating conflictThe emotional and financial cost of being reactiveHow to think like a chess player, not a punching bagOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

Mediation doesn’t have to suck—but walking in unprepared absolutely does. In this solo power-packed episode, Andrea and Morgan deliver the exact roadmap you need before entering mediation. Whether it’s your parenting plan, finances, or both on the table, this episode walks you through every question to ask your lawyer, how to mentally prepare, and the secret negotiation strategies that’ll keep you calm, confident, and in control.What you’ll learn:The 4-part strategy to prep for mediation like a proWhat makes a bad mediator—and how to avoid oneWhy your first offer will probably suck (and that’s okay)What “sweeteners” are and how to use them to get what you wantTips to regulate your emotions and stay focused during mediationWhether attorney-assisted mediation is worth itHow to build your own mediation “cheat sheet”Why mediation saves you time, money, and sanity (even if it fails)Burning Questions Answered:“How do I know if what I’m asking for is realistic?”“What if my ex throws something crazy at me?”“Do I need to get the mediator to like me?”“Can I call my lawyer during mediation?”“What happens if we can’t agree on anything?”Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseSo… your spouse wants a divorce and you don’t? Oof. That’s a brutal position to be in—and one we know all too well. In this candid, no-holds-barred episode, Andrea and Morgan dive into the exact steps you need to take—legally and emotionally—when divorce isn’t your idea, but it’s happening anyway. Whether the papers haven’t been filed yet or you’ve already been served, this is your guide to protecting yourself, preparing smartly, and finding solid ground when your world feels upside down.What You’ll Learn:The first 3 legal steps to take if your spouse hasn’t filed yetHow to emotionally process being blindsided by divorceWhat to do (and not do) if your spouse has filedWhen discernment counseling works (and when it won’t)How to avoid expensive legal mistakes just because you’re overwhelmedWhy it’s critical to understand your attorney’s strategyBurning Questions Answered:“What if I don’t want a divorce—do I have any control?”“How can I financially prepare if I’m in the dark?”“Is couples therapy enough to save us?”“What happens if I ignore the divorce petition?”“How do I hold it together when I’m falling apart?Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

If you’ve ever fired off an angry text, regretted it immediately, or found yourself stuck in never-ending drama with your ex—this episode is for you. Andrea and Morgan sit down with the legendary Bill Eddy (lawyer, therapist, mediator, and creator of the BIFF method) to unpack exactly how to communicate with high-conflict people—without losing your mind (or your case).You’ll learn why your responses might be feeding the fire, what judges actually notice in emails, and the two acronyms that can completely transform how you co-parent with a difficult ex. Whether you’re in the thick of divorce or trying to rebuild your peace afterward—this is a must-listen.What you’ll learn:What the BIFF method is (and why every lawyer uses it)How to end hostile conversations without fueling the fireWhat judges think when they read your emailsHow to save major money by communicating smarterThe difference between reacting and respondingWhy empathy is a power move (not a weakness)How to stop playing the blame game and move forwardThe biggest legal risk of oversharing via text or emailHow to draft a response that makes your ex pause, not pounceWhat “emotional mirroring” is—and how to avoid itBurning questions answered in this episode:What do I actually say when my ex sends a nasty email?How can I communicate effectively if my ex is a narcissist?Should I respond to everything my co-parent says?Why does tone matter if we’re already in court?How do I keep conflict from costing me a fortune?Connect with Bill Eddy:Website: www.highconflictinstitute.comBooks: BIFF for Co-Parent Communication, Ear Statements, and moreInstagram: @highconflictinstituteOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

Is it your ex… or your estrogen? In this honest, hilarious, and eye-opening episode, Andrea and Morgan sit down with Joanna Strober, founder and CEO of MIDI, to uncover how midlife hormone shifts can sabotage your divorce (and your sanity). They discuss why so many women feel like they’re losing their minds during divorce, how to actually get helpful care without expensive concierge clinics, and what might be missing from your divorce team. Spoiler: it might be estrogen and semaglutide.What you’ll learn:What MIDI is—and why it might be your new secret weaponThe signs you’re not “just emotional”… your hormones might be offHow perimenopause symptoms overlap with divorce stressWhy good healthcare now can help you make better divorce decisionsWhat hormones like estrogen and testosterone can (and can’t) fixThe juicy good truth about weight loss meds like semaglutide (aka Ozempic/Wegovy)How MIDI makes care accessible and insurance-friendlyThe long-term risks of ignoring hormonal healthWhy your second act deserves a thriving body and brainHow to stop using your lawyer as your therapistBurning questions answered in this episode:What the hell is happening to my body during divorce?Can hormones really impact mood, memory, libido, and weight?Is telehealth legit—or should I be worried?What’s the real deal with GLP-1s (like semaglutide)?Is testosterone safe for women?How do I know if I’m in perimenopause?What if my insurance doesn’t cover this?Could taking care of my hormones have saved my marriage?How do I get started with MIDI?Why is feeling better the key to not sucking at divorce?Check out MIDI: trymidi.com/hownottosuckatdivorce**Everything that you hear in this is episode is authentic, and part of paid collaboration with Midi Health**Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

In today's episode, Andrea and Morgan break down the divorce dream team—who you need, who you don’t, and where to invest your VERY hard-earned dollars. From therapists to forensic accountants and parenting coordinators, they give you the inside scoop on which players actually move the needle in your case. Plus, they get real (and a little savage) about online divorce coaches and overpriced fluff. If you're building your team or just starting out, this episode is your ultimate roadmap to not sucking at divorce.What you’ll learn:What a “divorce team” actually is and why you need oneWhen hiring a therapist makes sense (spoiler: probably now)Why most divorce coaches aren’t worth your moneyWhat a parenting coordinator does—and if you need oneThe truth about forensic accountants, child therapists, and financial advisorsWhich services save money vs. waste itThe one product they do endorse: The Divorce Crash CourseHow to use Our Family Wizard for smoother co-parentingWhat red flags to avoid when building your teamBurning questions answered in this episode:Do I really need a lawyer or can I DIY my divorce?Who should be on my divorce “dream team”?What kind of therapist is helpful during divorce (for me or my kids)?What’s the real deal with divorce coaches on social media?What does a forensic accountant actually do?Is it okay to start therapy for my kids without telling my ex?Can tools like Our Family Wizard actually save me money?How do I handle team members when my attorney is from a big firm?Are financial advisors helpful during divorce—or after?How can I protect my mental and physical health during this process?Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

Think saving money during divorce is impossible? Think again. In this episode, Andrea and Morgan serve up the real (and hilarious) talk on how to actually cut your legal costs without sacrificing your sanity—or your settlement. From bulletproof email tips to why paralegals are your secret weapon, they’re spilling the strategies that your wallet will thank you for. Bonus: Andrea might just be learning all the words to American Pie, so there’s that too.What you'll learn:How bullet-point emails can save you hundreds (yes, hundreds) of dollarsWhy scheduling quick, focused calls can be smarter (and cheaper) than endless emailsThe right way to ask your attorney for help without skyrocketing your billWhy working with an associate or paralegal can be a total financial game-changerThe exact language to use when your legal bill makes you want to faintBurning questions answered in this episode:How do you ask for cost-saving options without insulting your attorney?When should you insist on a phone call instead of an email?What should you do if you’re feeling totally overwhelmed by the documents you need to gather?How can you tell if your case really needs a big-name partner or if an associate will do just fine?Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseIn this episode on How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan and Andrea welcome Renee Swanson, host of the Covert Narcissism podcast, for a powerful conversation about planning your way out of an emotionally abusive marriage. Renee shares how she reclaimed her identity, protected her children, and gathered strength before initiating divorce — all while still living under the same roof as her husband. It's an episode full of actionable guidance, healing truths, and hope for anyone feeling stuck, exhausted, and unsure of their next move.What you’ll learn:How to emotionally prepare before leaving a toxic relationshipThe power of “baby steps” and small daily actions that build long-term momentumWays to gather legal and emotional information to reduce overwhelmHow to communicate safely and reclaim your dignity while still in the marriageTools and strategies for coexisting with a high-conflict partner during separationWhy there’s never a perfect time to divorce — and why that’s okayQuestions answered in this episode:Can you begin healing while still in an emotionally abusive marriage?What does a practical, step-by-step divorce exit plan look like?How do you manage sharing a home with someone who triggers or controls you?How do you know when it’s really time to leave?What legal steps should you take while you’re still deciding?How do you stop reacting and start protecting your peace?Our Family Wizard is another fantastic resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our DMs, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Connect with our guest, Renee: https://www.covertnarcissism.com/podcastInstagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea and Morgan tackle the often-overlooked topic of how perimenopause and menopause can impact relationships and yep, that's right- divorce. They are joined by Dr. Heather Cushing, an MD who specializes in hormonal health, to discuss the effects of hormonal changes on women's moods, behavior, and marital dynamics. The conversation covers the confusion and frustration many women feel as they experience shifts in their bodies and emotions, which can often be mistaken for relationship problems. Dr. Cushing explains the difference between perimenopause and menopause, the importance of hormone therapy (HRT), and how addressing hormonal imbalances can help women make clearer, more rational decisions during the divorce process.Questions Answered in this Episode:What is the difference between perimenopause and menopause?What symptoms are commonly experienced during perimenopause and menopause?How do hormonal changes affect mood and relationships?How can hormonal changes lead to feelings of irritability and emotional distance in marriages?What should women do if they feel like they are not themselves during perimenopause or menopause?How do hormone imbalances impact decision-making, especially regarding marriage and divorce?What steps can women take to address hormonal issues before making life-changing decisions like divorce?Is hormone therapy a safe and effective treatment for women experiencing perimenopausal or menopausal symptoms?How can men navigate the challenges of supporting a spouse going through hormonal changes?What are the best approaches to take for those who are hesitant to start hormone treatment but want to feel better?Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we dive into the complex relationship between faith and divorce. Our guest, Bree Sullivan-Howell, a family law attorney and author, shares her personal journey and professional insights on navigating divorce when your Christian faith conflicts with the decision to separate. From understanding the Biblical perspective on divorce to overcoming the shame and judgment that often accompanies faith-based divorces, Brie offers a compassionate and practical guide and practical steps tat you CANNOT miss.What you'll learn:The challenges of reconciling religious beliefs with the reality of divorce.How to handle cultural and religious pressures while considering divorce.Actionable steps to take before and during the divorce process, including creating a plan, gathering your documents, and preparing for shifts in your social circles.Insights on how to stay true to your faith while navigating divorce, with examples of how faith can strengthen rather than hinder the process.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Connect with Bree:[email protected]: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we dive into the complexities of navigating a divorce when you have a child with special or higher needs. We’re joined by Cari Pines, an attorney in LA who specializes in family law and has personal experience with raising special needs children. Cari shares her expertise on how to manage the legal and emotional challenges that come with divorce when your child requires extra care and attention.What you’ll learn:How to communicate effectively with your attorney about your child’s special needsThe importance of gathering information about your child’s diagnosis, behaviors, and needs before you begin the divorce processThe role of a forensic expert and why this might be necessary in some casesPractical advice on managing disputes with your ex regarding your child’s medical care and therapyTips on using tools like Our Family Wizard to keep track of communications and medical expensesHow to take care of yourself while navigating the difficult path of parenting a child with special needs during a divorceOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we explore the complexities of hiring a Guardian ad Litem (GAL) or an Attorney for the Child (AFC), two roles that are often involved when there are disputes over parenting time or custody. Special guest Randi Karmel, a seasoned attorney based in New York, shares her expert insights on when and why these professionals might be appointed in divorce cases and how they can impact your case.What you’ll learn:The roles and differences between a GAL and an AFC, and how they advocate for children in custody casesHow to determine if you need an AFC or GAL, and the potential impact on your caseThe importance of honesty and transparency when communicating with an AFC or GALKey differences in how these roles work in different states, like New York versus IllinoisHow to prepare for interviews with an AFC or GAL and what to avoid doing during these interactionsOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we dive into the world of forensic accountants and when you should—and shouldn't—bring one into your divorce case. Featuring expert Marie Ebersbacher, a senior managing director in forensic consulting, we explore how forensic accountants help uncover hidden assets, value businesses, and track income. We also share some wild, real-life stories, including one about a celebrity hairdresser's murder that has some SERIOUS financial implications! Hit play - you can't miss this one!What you’ll learn:When is it worth hiring a forensic accountant for your divorce?How to spot discrepancies in financial documents (and what to do about them)Real-life stories of financial shenanigans and how they played out in divorce casesTips on saving time and money during your divorce process without going rogueTune in for valuable insights and a little humor to make the divorce process juuuust a bit less overwhelming!Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, the hosts discuss the right and wrong times to file for divorce with the help of expert family law attorney Jacqueline Newman. They break down seasonal considerations, personal financial situations, and how to recognize when emotional readiness plays a crucial role in deciding whether or not to take the plunge. Jacqueline shares her professional advice on when to act and when it might be wise to wait, all while offering insight on the emotional, financial, and practical factors that affect the timing of a divorce. The episode highlights how a strategic approach, involving patience and timing, can make a significant difference in the outcome of a divorce case.What Listeners Will Learn:The ideal time to file for divorce (hint: there actually IS an ideal time)Why it's important to wait for a stable financial moment or to avoid filing during difficult life circumstancesHow to determine if you're emotionally and financially prepared for the challenges of divorceThe importance of understanding the business and financial ramifications before making the decision to fileWhy it’s crucial to have a lawyer who asks the right questions to guide you through your divorce strategyPractical advice on navigating emotional and financial hurdles that can arise when thinking about divorceOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners AND save 20% on their essentials package! www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we dive into the world of prenuptial agreements (prenups) and why they might be something to consider for anyone entering a marriage, especially if you're coming into the union with significant assets or wealth. They cover everything from what goes into a prenup, who might need one, and how to navigate the conversation with your partner, to the importance of finding a good lawyer and ensuring fairness in the agreement. They also discuss some of the more unusual clauses that might appear in prenups and share tips on how to approach the topic with your partner in a way that is clear and non-confrontational.The burning questions you'll get answers to:Who typically needs a prenup?Are there any common clauses included in prenups, like those involving children or lifestyle?How much can you expect to pay for a prenup?Should both parties hire separate attorneys when creating a prenup?What should someone look out for if they are served a prenup?When is the best time to start discussing and signing a prenup before marriage?Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles