Goonie’s World

During the 1980s, newly turned vampires in the small town of Pitchwood, California are tasked with robbing a blood bank for their broodmaster. But before they do anything else, the bittens, Dirge Tempo and Cameron “Cam” Clinton, must go out into the night to feed on their own for the very first time.

Facing off against a huge, enraged dog-man, Honcho and Mr. Pickle make full use of their assorted arsenal and accumulated mutations. Leaving the lower level in flames, the scrappers return to the “ring room” and experiment with the interdimensional portal. After a sensible plea from Dennis, the two focus their attention back on what could be the ultimate scrap reward, if they could only get it back to Boomtown. [To check out our Cape City episodes, listen to Everyone is John 1-2 and Prowlers & Paragons 1-3. For Gonen's World, listen to The Black Hack [100th Episode Special].]

Dennis and Honcho continue to explore Bane Labs, attempting to make sense of the strange technology they encounter. After finally taking the elevator down, the adventurers come across a curious scene and decide they just can’t let sleeping dogs lie.

The Boomtown scrappers scope out the Bane Labs building and eventually, with help from a mutation, find a way inside. There, they discover giant, bewildering machinery and disturbing secrets. Dennis smokes cigarettes while Honcho searches for a keycard requested by a talking elevator.

Honcho Pi and Mr. Pickle arrive at Maggie’s hotel, questioning the owner and an ex-soldier, as well as bargaining for the cigarettes in the machine sitting in the foyer. After spending the rest of the evening munching on Chubby Chodes, the scrappers check out the next morning, searching for a man they’ve briefly encountered before.

Exploring the flying saucer-shaped Bane Center, Dennis and Honcho are pleasantly surprised at what they discover. Following up on info they received, they turn their attention to an old police station, guarded by a security bot. On the way, they decide to check out the ruins of a legendary hotdog restaurant. Finally reaching the station, the scrappers are forced to turn to recklessness after tactics fail.

In a post-apocalyptic settlement called Boomtown, two men decide to test their luck by venturing into the radioactive wastes beyond their home in search of precious scrap. After bidding farewell to their neighbors, the aging Dennis Pickle and his adult ward, Honcho, set off to a ruined city, unsure if they’ll ever return.

Having dealt with the imperial battle-blimps, Agony and Salami reach the Caribbean island of Montserrat and question the villagers while undercover as ordinary sexy travelers. After hearing tales of strange goings-on at an observatory, the SBWs ascend the slopes of a volcano and face-off with hundreds of rogue automatons, the mysterious Flavius Dio, and the mustachioed Septimus Foul himself.

Agony and Salami enter the Tower of the Imperial Sorceress with the intent of studying Septimus Foul’s captured automaton. After an epically sexy battle, the wizards steer their castle toward an island that may hold the clue to Foul’s whereabouts. Before they reach their destination, however, Lucretia Salacious enacts her revenge.

As members of the College Errant, Salami Razzmatazz and Agony Cataclysm roam the world in their flying castle performing heroic deeds. When Septimus Foul, the arch-villain and former member of the College Errant, escapes from a penitentiary, the sexy battle wizards are on the case.

With the Trickster’s tower looming before them, the wandering adventurers must find a way to deal with the giant eagle blocking their path. Afterwards, within the unexpected interior of the tower, the stage is set for their final challenge, and the Trickster lives up to his namesake.

Inside Mischief Mountain, Sir Han, Numinous, and Billy, make their way across deep chasms, while enduring swarms of bats. Once outside again, the adventurers encounter both friendly and unfriendly forest creatures, eventually finding their way forward thwarted by a massive, winged beast.

When Sir Han Duran, a righteous Invoker, and Numinous Glaux, a timid Magician, follow a mysterious treasure map, it leads them to Treasure Town, a small and seemingly idyllic village. The traveling companions soon meet a woman named Fiona Fairweather who invites them to take part in the Trickster’s Test, a game that, if successful, will reward each of them with an item from the town’s museum. Their first challenge is to solve a series of riddles given by a talking door.

Exploring Dr. Say’s apartment, Harmony and Dex find someone hiding. After getting their biggest lead so far, the sleuths deliberate their next move: infiltrating an exclusive club called the Suicide A-Go-Go Bowl. They decide to pose as musicians, but getting in is just the beginning. If they want to save Trinity, the duo must perform in perfect...harmony.

Leaving Triple G’s office, Dex and Harmony head back to Chinatown and speak with Johnny Tong. The Triad member refers them to a doctor who lives in the Gorky Heights neighborhood. Just as the two PIs are taking the elevator up to the midlevel, Harmony’s stalker, Jackson Mummy, finally makes a move.

In the Underbelly of Upper Midwest Metroplex, a brooding PI named Dexter “Dex” Farley drinks alone at a back-alley Chinatown bar when a beautiful blonde walks in. Her name is Harmony Valentine, and she’s also a PI. They’ve never gotten along, but Harmony is desperate. A woman they both care about is missing, and partnering up presents the best chance of finding her. Together, they’ll have to navigate a tangled web of clues in a tangled web of a city, facing violent obstacles at every turn.

A series of desperate actions leads to Bing and Bart stealing a Jupiter Springs Brewing Company 18-wheeler with a potential bigfoot in the back and finding themselves in the same dicey situation as their first scene. What happens next will go down as Jupiter Springs legend and forever be imprinted on the minds of all who witnessed it.

Bing and Bart decide to scope out the Jupiter Springs Brewing Company brewery before eventually making their way inside. After luckily getting through a locked door in the interior, they search for any clues hinting at the presence of a bigfoot, living or dead. As the investigators near the loading dock, they almost run into someone coming up the stairs, and he has an eerily familiar face.

It’s the early 1970s. Cryptozoologist Bart Garfinkle and gonzo journalist Bing Kingsley are pulled over by police while driving a brewing company truck, only to find themselves later confronted by a biker gang as well. Something roars from the back of the truck. To find out how they got there, a flashback begins the story at a bowling alley in Jupiter Springs, California.

It’s Queen Farin Bachknife-Orijiabi’s birthday, and among the guests attending the celebration at the royal palace in Highseat are an adventurer-turned-courtier named Nicholas Corso and a tiny, talkative thief from the future named Marm Goodwill. When the good queen is informed of a coup in the kingdom of Blackpool by the newcomer Lord Bane, she decides to strap on her old adventuring armor and handle matters herself. She brings Corso and Marm along with her, and together they begin a risky airship voyage to Blackpool’s capital, Col Sador. Only after bloody battles with ruthless sky pirates and barbaric dogmen does the party learn of Bane’s true intentions - a plot that would see reality sucked out of existence. With the fate of Gonen’s World resting on their shoulders, the heroes’ only option is to infiltrate the Black Castle and stop Bane before it’s too late.

On an autumn evening in Arkham, Massachusetts, wealthy socialite Margo Macey and newspaper reporter Rachael Hemmingway meet with Private Investigator Saul Moran at a diner, where he shares a secret he’s kept for nearly a year. A terrible affliction has been causing him to crave human flesh, and it’s getting worse. The three decide to drive out to the country, seeking the advice of a strange doctor, who in turn directs them to an infamous house in town known as the Witch House. After an unsettling experience, they learn that their only possible hope for a cure lies in a vault at the Miskatonic University. But surely, the New Englanders would never be stupid enough to meddle with ancient magic beyond their comprehension and control.

With the Princess of Dumnonia rescued, Sir Lancelot and Sir Mador begin the long ride back with her (along with her mother) and almost immediately regret their decision. Although slaying the Avanc is the knights’ sworn mission, their greatest challenge might be in enduring Her Highness’ company. During their route, they stop and make camp in the wilderness, encountering a ferocious monster and an odd old man. Once again in Uffington, the moment finally arrives to forge their reputations and prove their knighthood.

After their bloody confrontation with the Avanc, Lance and Mador seek out the assistance of the famous magician Merlin who transports them to the kingdom of Dumnonia, where a virtuous princess is said to live. Once there, the knights now face a giant problem.

In Arthurian Briton, the legendary Sir Lancelot du Lac and minor knight of the round table Sir Mador de La Porte receive a quest by the king himself to slay a monster known as the Avanc that has been terrorizing the village of Uffington. Along the way, they meet a beautiful and naïve maiden who just might be their best chance of defeating the beast.

A falling out between the Bugg brothers occurs over Merle’s Michael Jackson glove replica, and Ronny goes forward with his own plan. With the genuine sequin accessory in his possession, Ronny completes his long-sought magical MJ ensemble. Unfortunately, Roger has taken extra security measures unbeknownst to Ronny, and things quickly go from Bad to worse.

Roger Long, a lonely, disabled, celebrity memorabilia collector has his life turned upside down when he discovers an infestation of fruit flies in his suburban Dallas home. Enter Merle Bugg, Jr. II, a crooked cop who knows Roger from their local church. It turns out, Merle has a brother named Ronny Bugg who just so happens to be an exterminator and who just so happens to be particularly infatuated with a certain piece of memorabilia in Roger’s collection.

Truck and Dr. DD ascend to the upper level of Ana-Sin-Emid, only to witness further unsettling phantasmagoria. Luckily, the pair finally get some of the answers they came for in the engine and power core rooms. What will they find on the rest of the ship? Can they make it back to The Grahams with the data they’ve gathered, and what is the fate of Gunther, the third member of their team?

When the Cambridge-Wallace corporation is alerted to a drifting, unresponsive spaceship called Ana-Sin-Emid, they send Devereux Diggs, Ph.D. (Dr. DD) and Travis “Truck” Tucker to investigate. Once boarded, the science officer and the security officer check out the cryogenic storage rooms on the lower level, and what they discover has them questioning their sanity.

Disguised as hat-wearing Guinea Pigs, Foo Foo and Run E. Carlos are allowed entry into the cannibalistic community of Drainpipe where they are accepted by Bile, the nefarious stoat leader. After being required to partake in abominations, the undercover bunnies learn the dark details of the plan to attack Stonewall. Can they prevent the destruction of their burrow and save countless lives or will their covers be blown and their efforts thwarted? Or worse, will they be seduced by the crooked colony and corrupted into becoming one of them?

After a harrowing encounter with the villainous cat Pyewacket, the bunnies hurry back to Stonewall with the map they found and warn Grandma Maizy of what appears to be an imminent invasion of their burrow, likely by the misfit residents of Drainpipe. Gifted powerful herbs and donning disguises, Foo Foo and Run E. make the perilous journey to the depraved settlement, prepared to do whatever it takes to protect their home.

In a settlement known as Stonewall, two bunnies are given a mission by Grandma Maizy, the matriarch. Jon Radisher, a radish trader, has disappeared along the route to another burrow known as Bywater. Foo Foo, a fighter, and Run E. Carlos, a runner, begin their search for the missing bunny immediately, soon coming upon their first clue as well as a mischievous gang of weasels.

Bursting into Emilio’s private chambers, Sasha and Diego find the place ransacked with no sign of the Valantina boss. Breaking through yet another door, they make a gruesome discovery. After a bloody fight with Emilio’s right-hand man, the adventurers find a secret passageway, which takes them through twisted underground tunnels and into the domain of Chaos.

After entering the Asylum, Sasha and Diego come upon a bloody massacre in the Schatzenheimer base, and the gem they seek eludes them. Posing as a Tilean, Diego must bluff both of them through Valantina territory to continue the hunt. The situation gets even dicier when they learn of an unexpected third party who also covets the gem.

Two foreigners, Sasha Sagan and Diego Vega, arrive by boat to the city of Nuln in the Empire, seeking adventure and wealth. After difficulty finding a place to stay, as well as trouble with thugs and thieves, the kossar and the diestro finally get an opportunity to fulfill both objectives. Councillor Oldenhaller will pay them handsomely to fetch a jewel rumored to have a dark history, now thought to be in the possession of a local gang leader.

After being invited to join the exclusive group of live-action vampire role-players, Dickey and Plunger are taken blindfolded to a secret spot in the woods and finally meet the bloodsuckers’ master. An epic showdown between good and evil erupts and only one party can emerge victorious.

Having no success locating Benny or Maria back at camp, the boys return to the set of footprints, tracking them deeper into the woods. Along the way, they have an encounter with a beast that may or may not be the dreaded Owlbear. Eventually, the footprints bring them to a familiar cave, and inside is what appears to be an equally familiar scene.

When the second day of Owl Camp starts and there’s still no sign of DJ, the boys, with Elliot tagging along, begin an investigation into the disappearance of their cabinmate. They question Benny King, meet with the director of Big Hooters Campground, and follow footprints leading into the forest.

It’s summertime in Jupiter Springs, and for Dickey Newton and Plunger, that means it’s time once again for Owl Camp. While waiting to be assigned their cabin, the two best friends meet a fellow camper -- a strange southern boy who immediately arouses their suspicions -- after which they regale their bunkmates with marshmallow fluff and tales of the legendary Owlbear. When bedtime finally comes, fresh from sharing scary stories around the campfire, they realize something is wrong. Someone is missing. [PREREQUISITE: Kids on Bikes 1-6]

After descending deep into a fungal-lit crevice, Henrietta, Archibald, and Cyrus discover the hard way that they are not alone on Luna. Also answered is the fate of the Russian explorer Vladimir Tereshkova. Imprisoned, the team must find a way to escape, and with the help of a rebellious local, overthrow a mad tyrant. Only then can they even hope of making it back to Earth.

An eccentric American inventor, Cyrus Grant, recruits a British physician and explorer, Archibald Riley, and a fellow Englander, Detective Henrietta Honey, to accompany him on an expedition to the moon. Meeting in Tombstone, Arizona, the American assuages the concerns of the Brits, and without wasting any time, they take to the sky using Cyrus’ newfangled propeller, soon plunging into the ether. Everything goes fine as they reach the surface of the moon, but in a split second, everything changes.

Springing into the air, Squirg, Jubal, and Mae Mae make it to the top of the skinny butte in the Busted Lands, where the anchorite is said to live. The man they meet, however, is not who they expected, but he does offer help. With a magical cube, the three hearthlings seemingly have the power to teleport anywhere they wish, which takes them all the way to the heart of the hobgoth citadel as well as the beaches of the Sea of Gas. It’s there, deep under the center of the sea, that they must test their mettle and finish out their mission.

Entering the town of Sour Hull, Squirg and Jubal’s first stop is to a tavern for a hot meal and important info, particularly concerning the anchorite they’d heard about from the town’s refugees. Next, they patronize the shop next door, where spells are exchanged, and soon after, finally find out what’s in Zar Narwal’s box. This leads to a confrontation with hobgoths who have overtaken the town, and a new spell comes in handy just when the adventurers need it most.

After Jubal receives a fitting punishment for failing to control his curiosity, he and Squirg are provided a wagon powered by a wind elemental and sent on their way with an enigmatic box to be dumped in the Sea of Gas. Eventually the road takes them out of the Neon Forest, though different regions, and into a dark tunnel. Blocking their way to the other side is a giant pit, but even more troublesome is the creature that lives in the pit.

In the world of Dearth, refugees Squirg Fallowshins and Jubal Tryx are fleeing their homeland and traveling south under the dying red sun to the city of Serus Arx. Along the road, they encounter odd peddlers and a vicious monster from underground. A fierce battle ensues, and the victors continue on their way, only to be accosted by more monsters, even nastier than the last. Injured and outnumbered, the adventurers retreat to the home of the wizard Zar Narwal, who promptly gives them a mysterious yet lucrative new quest.

Finally, the moment arrives for the master criminals to steal the statue of Viracocha from the museum during the wine and cheese event. Disguised as a security guard, Fingers enters the basement to begin cracking the vault but must first deal with the real security. Meanwhile, Flow causes a distraction upstairs, and Funeral spots the presence of a law enforcement. Before long, plans give way to pandemonium, and desperation turns to doom. The Incan god has one last surprise in store.

After scoring some snow, the heisters arrive at the Jupiter Springs Museum of Art for some reconnaissance, each inspecting a separate room. Fingers strives to impregnate a patron, while Flow bothers a security guard, and Funeral locates the stairs to the basement. They meet back up with new info and new ideas.

In the 1980s, three strangers meet at a restaurant in Jupiter Springs, California to hear a job proposal. Over crepes, they’re offered a caper (creper?) to steal a golden statue of the Incan god Viracocha from a local art museum. For Tony “Fingers” Farconi, Giuseppe “Funeral” Funari, and Kai “Flow” Filipowski, the money is too good to pass up. They start their preparations by visiting the Recorder of Deeds office to gather intel on the museum and its security. After causing an incident, they head to the mall for new outfits, giant cookies, and hair feathering.

A meeting with one of the missing hotel guests provides the superheroes with the answers they’ve been searching for and motivates them to infiltrate Bane Industries to stop an evil plot. In a restricted lab deep underground, they must pull off a rescue, succeed in a super-powered struggle, and escape with their lives before time runs out.

Inspector Specter and Honey Badger begin their investigation into the incident at the fundraiser and uncover mysterious evidence inside of two hotel rooms. Digging deeper, they discover the concierge has a guilty secret. With new information, the superheroes follow the clues, ultimately leading them into the Dragon’s Den.

Superheroes Honey Badger and Inspector Specter are attending a fundraiser at the Regency Hotel in Cape City when all hell breaks loose. Unknown supervillains are carrying off a guest while gunmen open fire into the crowd. After the fight, a senator has a sensitive job for the duo. [OPTIONAL: Everyone is John 1-2]