From Betrayal To Breakthrough

When you're suffering from trauma, it's easy to be consumed by your own pain. For many people, helping others is the furthest thing on their minds. But did you know random acts of kindness have so many benefits for the giver? I am Dr. Debi Silber and welcome to another insightful episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi. Today, we will be discussing how helping others can actually help someone struggling to heal from betrayal or a life crisis of any kind. We will also delve into the many ways you can extend a helping hand to someone who needs support. In This Episode Understand what happens when you're dealing with trauma and pain Discover how helping others helps Find out what you can do for others Transcription Hi there, welcome to another Dose of Dr. Debi. Today I just want to talk about giving. I've noticed that so often we're so consumed with our own pain, with our own trauma, with our own crisis. I get it, it's been a painful experience, something you didn't see coming happened, and it absolutely throws you. One of the healthiest ways, I found to get out of it, is through giving. Now, I know you're thinking; "What the heck Debi! I don't have anything to give, I'm in so much pain, so much trauma!" But there's something about it. It doesn't have to be big. it can be something so small. Sometimes it's enough to pull you out of your own thoughts and your own pain enough where you just help and support someone else. It doesn't have to be big at all. It could be a small, little random act of kindness. Maybe you're paying for someone's coffee behind you online, you hold the door open for someone, you give someone a compliment. It doesn't matter. But, when we set an intention, just to do these small random acts of kindness or, or just help somebody in some way, it actually is more helpful for us than it is for the other person. It boosts the immune system. It gets you out of your painful thoughts, even if just for a while and it can be so helpful. It's also one of the biggest reasons why we started our charity program we have within The PBT Institute (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute. We have a charity program, and every month, a portion of the first month of everyone's membership goes towards charity. Every month we also choose a Member of the Month. This is a member who's working hard, doing the work, showing up. The Member of the Month, decides to which charity those funds go. Or, they can choose to offer a scholarship for someone who otherwise wouldn't be able to afford the community. What I love about it is that a member who's just working hard and healing from their own betrayal, because of their hard work, they're helping support other causes. We have supported the most amazing charities that I never would have known about if we didn't institute this program. Charities helping causes like domestic violence, organizations that support women and children, and animals and more. We really have supported so many incredible organizations through this program. I and specifically ask our members to find charities other than the most common ones. They're getting so much attention already. Instead, we look to support all those incredible foundations and organizations that you wouldn't know about otherwise. And it's been an incredible experience. Or like I said, they can choose to donate a scholarship for a month for someone who otherwise couldn't afford it. So it helps them feel so great. Their hard work is allowing for us to support a charity. It makes me feel great because it introduces me to organizations, I never would have known about and our little micro donation is just offering some good there, so it's good all around. And so, I invite you to consider; what can you do? Whether it's a random act of kindness, whether it's supporting a charity, whether it's just giving a compliment to someone to boost their mood or make them feel better, improve your immune system (because it's helping us just as much). What can you do to make the world a little bit better? We are in some trying times here. And if everybody just does a little bit to serve the greater good, we're headed in the right direction. So I hope this inspires you, just to do something (and it doesn't have to be big). It can be something small. If this serves and if, if you're enjoying the podcast please share it with, with your friends, share with anybody who's struggling to heal from betrayal or a life crisis of any kind. So many things I can offer you, but one is my book Trust Again, which literally walks you through the Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough. They are proven, they are predictable, and the book, walks you through with experiential exercises, so you can move from one stage to the next. To get that along with all the goodies that goes with it, go here. Thanks so much and we'll see you next time. Bye bye. Resources Mentioned PBT Podcasts Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz PBT Institute Membership Community Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and

As parents, it is easy to feel frustrated and think that we are not doing a great job raising our children. Abigail Wald is no stranger to this. After an incident with her mother when she was 5 years old, Abigail promised herself that she would be a different kind of parent in the future. But when she had children of her own, she found herself struggling more than she anticipated and felt like she had betrayed them as well as herself. In today's episode of From Betrayal to Breakthrough, Abigail shares with us how she was able to move forward by finding a positive way to hold on to her core values and the promise she made so long ago. She stresses the importance of truly connecting with your children and building a family that works for everyone in it. About Guest/Topic Abigail Wald is a certified Hand in Hand Parenting Consultant. Parents come to Abigail when they are tired of getting pushed past their breaking point and are ready to rise above behavior and circumstance to create the life they want for themselves and their children. Her podcasts, the Mother Flipping Awesome and Hand in Hand: A Podcast for Parents have almost a million downloads collectively. In This Episode Who is Abigail Wald? [0:09] What is the silent sacred promise? [4:22] What do people who feel they betrayed themselves as parents should do? [31:27] …and many more Quotes "The moment I was a parent, I was reliving my childhood. I was forgiving my mother so beautifully and so deeply, which I had already done but in new ways. And so I then, at that point, really started to understand I am not willing to not figure this out, and it was the love of my children that carried me through." [15:56] "Parents are the CEO of a family, okay? And you have to have a vision. You just don't listen. You listen and you lead, and you listen and you lead, and that's a whole other level of skills that need to be taught to the parent and for the child." [24:44] "When I talk about listening, I talk about listening to a child's soul, not just to what the child is saying." [25:01] "I want you to know that whatever you see out there is not your story. You have to learn how you thrive and you have the ability to transform your life. You have the ability to make change [sic] in your children. You have the ability to take your core values and make those promises come true as long as you stick to the intent behind them." [32:57] Resources Mentioned Mother Flipping Awesome Website Mother Flipping Awesome App PBT Podcasts Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz PBT Institute Membership Community Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness Trust Again Free Gift

It is difficult to rebuild relationships after trust has been broken. When you lose your sense of safety and security, it can leave you in a traumatic state and hold you back in so many ways. So, what do you do if you don't know how to start reconnecting with others? Are there ways to overcome your trust issues and be happy again? I am Dr. Debi Silber and welcome to another insightful episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi. In this episode, we'll be talking about the Trust Again Challenge. We will identify all the ways it can help you in your healing journey, so you can begin to accept the love, intimacy, and connection that you are worthy of. In This Episode Discover what happens when trust is broken Learn how healing is predictable What is the Trust Again Challenge? Transcription Hi there and welcome to another Dose of Dr. Debi. Today I am talking about trust, which is something that is so foundational. When trust is shattered, it is really hard to feel safe and secure because trust sets the foundation for our sense of safety and security. So, when that person or those people who created that sense of safety and security, when they're the very ones to shatter it, it's traumatizing. So many of us don't regain that sense of trust and we walk around feeling unsafe and insecure and anxious. Can you repair trust? I say no. Can you rebuild it? Yes, and I can teach you exactly how to do that. I look at trust, like a brick wall. And the only way I know of a brick wall being built is brick by brick by brick. It can take a really long time. Every opportunity someone has to show they're trustworthy represents one brick in the brick wall. So now imagine the person who built that brick wall goes along and shatters the whole thing. Now, the person whose trust was shattered, they have every right to look at the brick wall and say; "I don't have the least bit of interest in watching that thing get rebuilt." That's completely fine and with that, they heal themselves and move along. However, if they're willing to watch that brick wall be rebuilt, the person who shattered that brick wall has to be a really good bricklayer. And, the only way it can be repaired is the same way it went up the first time, brick, by brick by brick. Every opportunity that person has to show that they're trustworthy, that represents one brick in that brick wall. So, you can see why it would take a lot of time and effort. Now, what I see many people doing is this. Trust has been shattered. The person who shattered the trust is kind of nonchalant about the whole thing, and the person whose trust was shattered is like; "Oh, forget it. Now I'll build the brick wall" just because they're in pain and it's uncomfortable. They don't like the feeling and they just want the painful emotions to go away. When the person whose trust was shattered is the one who builds the brick wall, you can't feel safe, you don't feel secure, your level of anxiety is always high because you don't know if you can trust that other person. So, if all of this resonates, I'm having a Trust Again Challenge . Now I've done this, I think three or four times before. This is such a much loved activity that I'm bringing it back, and people who have done the Trust Again Challenge 2, 3 times! They get so much out of it, so I'm bringing it back because especially in these times, we do not feel safe, we do not trust, and we need to get back that sense of trust. There are these stages that we need to go through to rebuild trust Now I did a PhD study on betrayal. We made three discoveries. One of them was that while we stay stuck for years, decades, even a lifetime and so many of us do, if we're going to fully heal, we're going to move through five now proven and predictable stages. And what's even more exciting about that is we know what happens physically, mentally and emotionally at every one of those stages, and we know what it takes to move from one stage to the next. Why is that good? Because healing is predictable. Now, with the shattering of trust, we find ourselves stuck so stuck in Stage three, the most common place to get stuck. Transformation doesn't even happen until Stages four stage five. If you're having trust issues, you are holding yourself back from the transformation that you deserve. The hardest part has happened already, you've been through it, you owe it to yourself to move through the Stages. So, if you have any kind of trust issues, know that there's a really good chance you're deeply rooted in that Stage three. Now, the good news about that is, we know what it takes to move to Stage four and Stage five, which is exactly what I want to talk to you about, so that you can do that. So, to do that, join me for the Trust Again Challenge which is so loved, so I'm bringing it back. It's five days it's only about an hour and a half. Give yourself an hour and a half. It's all recorded if it can't catch it live. But here's what's going to happen. Day one: The who what when where and why

When you have experienced a traumatic event, it's easy to get stuck in the victim mentality. But your painful past doesn't mean that you can't live a fulfilling life. Take Dawn Burnett's story of trauma and healing, for one. Dawn grew up in a broken family and is a survivor of sexual abuse. Through functional medicine and a deep understanding of the mind-body connection, she was able to move forward and uncover the happiness that lives within her. In this episode of From Betrayal to Breakthrough, she recounts her life's journey and talks about how you can become the best version of yourself. About Guest/Topic Dawn has helped countless people around the world free themselves from relationships, habits, and situations that are no longer serving their higher selves. She is the founder of the #SHEROproject and also a best-selling author, divorce lifestyle consultant, and mindset mentor. She has featured in numerous publications and media outlets including ABC, TBN, FOX, WKMG, Shape Magazine, and Reader's Digest. In This Episode Who is Dawn Burnett? [0:10] Discover what holds people back [2:00] What led Dawn to where she is now? [3:33] Getting to the core of what's holding you back [13:51] …and many more Quotes "Well, a big one for starters, that holds people back, is negative mindset, right? And that is a daily practice in combating because it involves limiting beliefs, it involves past experiences; that internal negative chattering dialogue that, if we are not careful, can self-sabotage our future." [2:02] "The best way to monitor your thinking is to write it down – to keep a journal. You'd be surprised what your thoughts are when you really start to become aware of them. And then once you have the awareness, you need new information to be able to shift your mindset." [2:51] "Ultimately, everything you need is inside of you. It's like people chase for the outside, for dreams, for happiness, if I just achieve this one level, then, I'll be happy. Happiness comes from within" [23:18] "Work on yourself. Connect from within, because when you do and give all that you know, show up on your authentic self, and you put your best foot forward, the universe will meet you where you are at and things will start to flow." [23:36] Resources Mentioned Dawn Burnett's Website PBT Podcasts Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz PBT Institute Membership Community Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness Trust Again Free Gift

Are you afraid to take risks? Do you often doubt your capabilities? If you are, it might be a sign that you're easily swayed by other people's opinions. The people you frequently spend time with have the biggest influence on how you think and behave. This means you should surround yourself with people who inspire you to become your best self and play bigger! Hi, I am Dr. Debi Silber, and welcome to another insightful episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi. Today, we will be discussing how others can hold us back from achieving our dreams, and learn what it takes to regain confidence in ourselves. In This Episode Understand the power of the people around you Discover what's getting in the way of your success Find out how you can play bigger Transcription Hi there, Dr. Debi here with another Dose of Dr. Debi. Are you playing small? I'm asking that because I just found that that's exactly what I've been doing. You may be doing it too so I'm going to tell you a story. You may have heard; "We are the five people we spend the most time with." So, if you are with people who inspire you to play a bigger game, you will be inspired by that. If you are spending time with people coming from lack and scarcity, it will hold you back. Not only will it hold you back, it's going to have you question your ideas and plans if you are even considering doing something. I'm actually in two different mastermind groups. I'm purposely in those groups because it helps me stretch, and think bigger and grow. I had this idea, and it seemed so crazy and I'm thinking, I can't even share this with them, they're gonna think I'm nuts. But think about it. Any great idea at first was considered nuts until it was okay. But I shared this idea to my group, and to me it seemed so huge. Within minutes, I heard: "Wow, did you think about doing this and did you think about adding that and what about this way and that way." It made me realize how small I've been playing. I only know that because when we're in our own head, or when we're dealing with people who's who are playing smaller, we can really get caught up in this. I'll never forget a couple of years ago, I was planning a, an event. I was going to do a one day event. And it was terrifying for me I had never done a one day event but in this group I was in, that was part of what we do- you put on a one day event. I'm thinking okay here we go (well, actually they taught us how to do a three day event, and I was playing really small, by just putting on one day event.) It was my first one and I thought, Okay, we're gonna do this one day event, and it's just going to be fabulous. And just fantastic. So I had speakers that I had booked. I got vendors I got sponsors. I was so excited about this. I got the perfect outfit, I mean this thing was just all about transformation and it was going to be the most incredible day. So I had gotten together with a group of people, and we're all sitting around a table. You know when you're all sitting around all taking turns with the question: "What's new with you?" "What's new with you?" "What's new with you?" Well it was my turn. And my event was what was new with me. So I'm going on and on and on and on. And then… Have you ever done that, where you are speaking, and then all of a sudden, you hear how quiet it starts getting? I was busy telling all about this event, and they're kind of looking at me like; "Oh, are you sure you want to do that?" "That's a lot of personal development." "I mean, asking people to take the day off of work?" "Wow on a Friday and it's $97? That's a lot for something like that. Are you sure you want to do this?" This was totally well meaning. They were trying to spare me the embarrassment, the loss of money. So I started getting really scared because I had never done an event, and I know they were looking out for my best interest. I'm thinking, you know, they're right, they're probably right. So, and I'm thinking okay so I still have time to cancel the venue I'll lose my deposit but, okay, and I'll cancel the speakers before they booked their flights, and I'll tell the vendors, we're postponing it or something and I'll cancel them too, and the sponsors and I have it all figured out. Then I left. I remembered that I am part of this other group so I thought I'd reach out to them and throw it out to them and see what happens (we were in a private Facebook group at the time). I said, you know, it seems just way too big and way too scary, (which means familiar), and you know it's not too late for me to cancel, and how would you go about canceling this? Within about five minutes, I start hearing; "Only one day? Why isn't it two days you have such amazing content?" "It should at least be $197! That's a lot of value for $97!" Are you sure you don't want to raise it to $197?" "Ugh! It's in New York? I wish I was in New York, I'd be there in a minute!" Oh, wow. I looked at the two messages I was receiving. And if I didn't have access to that other group, I

The suicide of a loved one can leave people mired in feelings of abandonment, betrayal, anger, and intense sadness. Those they have left behind usually feel confused and even guilty. They may wonder if they are to blame or if they could have done more to prevent it. If you are dealing with this, Jason Holzer knows how you feel. Jason has grappled with his grief and uncertainty over his father's suicide. In this episode, he shares how he was able to move forward, by not only forgiving his father but also himself. He also delves into how rewiring your thoughts and cultivating a positive mindset can help you achieve post-traumatic growth. About Guest/Topic Jason Holzer was raised in a loving family in Taos, Missouri. His parents were supportive of him and his two younger sisters, providing them with everything they needed. But at age 17, his father committed suicide, drastically changing Jason's life. Although dealing with such a devastating loss was difficult, Jason was able to rise above his pain. His hard work, dedication, and strong faith helped him regain his footing--and even go beyond where he used to be. Today, he is a certified teacher, an accomplished basketball coach, a best-selling author, and a transformational speaker. In This Episode Who is Jason Holzer? [0:07] What is post-traumatic growth? [1:40] Learn about Jason's traumatic experience [2:30] How did Jason heal from his trauma? [7:01] The role of spirituality and forgiveness in Jason's growth [10:55] Discover Jason's initiatives for suicide prevention [15:55] …and many more Quotes "A lot of people see forgiveness as what you do for the other person but the reality of it is, forgiveness is what you do for yourself." [14:06] "You allow yourself to feel the emotion of, maybe there's a little bit of resentment, anger, but then you let it go. It's like clouds passing through the sky." [14:39] "Life is gonna happen. It's just your perception of what this situation means." [19:26] "Give life a chance to get better. It's gonna get tough like you're gonna through some hard things eventually but having that positive optimism like you know, what? I'm sad today, or you know what? I'm going through some things right now, but I know there's gonna be some positive that's gonna come out of this if I choose to have the right mindset going into this." [21:18] Resources Mentioned Jason Holzer's LinkedIn Jason Holzer's Twitter Jason Holzer's IG Jason Holzer's Facebook 4D Athletes Website PBT Podcasts Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz PBT Institute Membership Community Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness Trust Again Free Gift

People want to be a great source of inspiration to others. When other people try to emulate our positive actions, we feel admired and fulfilled. But how many times in our lives have we failed to set a good example? What can we do when we're not showing up the way we want to? I am Dr. Debi Silber and welcome to another insightful episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi. Today, we will be discussing the importance of checking in on yourself and learning how you can set a better example for your loved ones and the people around you. In This Episode Discover how I caught myself setting a bad example Learn from my mistake so you can do things differently Examine areas in your life where you can set a better example Transcription Hi there, Dr. Debi here, and today I want to talk about setting a good example. And I'm saying it because I caught myself not setting a good example. Whether you have kids, a team, anyone that you're trying to set an example for, I'm going to share what happened with me, so you can prevent something like this from happening to you. So, this is my 30th year in business and I'm always trying to learn and grow, so I can share what I learned with members within The PBT Institute. I'm usually going to at least one mastermind group a year. One, maybe two, because learning from the most brilliant experts and collaborating with amazing people, it helps me learn and grow and really up my game. I see what they're doing and inspires me to do more. There was one of my groups, and I was thinking about it and I said; you know, I didn't really participate so I really didn't get much out of it. I'm not going to sign up with them again. And then it hit me and I said, Oh my gosh, if that's what I'm doing. That's probably what members within the PBT institute will do. They didn't get involved, so they didn't get the value, so they're going to leave! So, what did I do with that? The first thing I did was message my coach, and said, I know we had last weekend to jump in and sign again, for the new year. I totally messed up, I'm in, and this time if I come back in, if you let me in (because it was all these wonderful bonuses and things for resigning). If you let me back in, I'm diving in headfirst. My own intensity shocked me but I really linked committing- diving in headfirst, to what our members in the community will do. And so I heard back, and I'm in. Again, I'm going to be in two masterminds this year but here's the difference. This time I took the yearly schedule of all of the classes and coaching calls and everything, and I put them in my calendar, my written calendar, I put them in my online calendar and I prioritized them. What we prioritize, we get done. I don't know about you, but there were times before my own workouts were a habit, I would actually have to write them in as an appointment. I thought that was so crazy, but I realized, I respect any other appointment that I have, but for some reason my own stuff, I don't prioritize, so if we don't prioritize it doesn't happen, and I wrote it in as an appointment. I also found that I have to write it in, let's say, earlier in the day because I wasn't prioritizing it my own self care enough that I just needed it foolproof. And I realized that if I schedule it later in the day, if there are other things that need to happen, it gets knocked off the list. So if I do it early enough, we can protect that time, ensure we get it in, even if it's a few minutes. Whatever it is, that time for yourself, whether it's for a morning self-care routine or a way that you connect, journal, meditate, whatever it is for you. But what really struck me was that we can talk a big game. I have four kids, 25,24, 21 and 19. And as they were growing up, I remember always saying, they're going to listen when I speak, but they're going to really understand if they watch me do it, and it kept me on my game, for the most part, when they were growing up. But this was just something where I caught myself, and I didn't like how I behaved and how I reacted so I immediately caught it. Here's the good news. You have an opportunity, all the time, to check in on yourself and see how you're showing up and see what you're doing. And if you don't like something, if you could do something better, differently, whatever. It's not that you're never supposed to be happy with yourself, but it's always good to just take a look and say, Could I do something a little bit better, could I do something a little bit differently? And that's how you grow. That's how you constantly reinvent yourself, improve on what wasn't working for you before. But, I didn't like that. I felt like I bailed on myself, because it's an amazing group. I didn't give myself, what I could have given myself from the experience. How often has that happened to you where you invest in something and you don't play full out, you don't give it 100%? I do this sometimes even with books. I want to read a book, and then I'll listen really quickly, o

Many people who have been in codependent relationships tend to downplay their anger and find it incredibly hard to say no to others. But according to Michelle Farris, people-pleasing can be detrimental, and addressing your anger in a healthy way can help you improve your relationships and avoid resentment. In this insightful episode of From Betrayal to Breakthrough, Michelle discusses how people can fall into the trap of neglecting themselves for the sake of others and how recovering from codependency begins with staying true to your feelings. About Guest/Topic Michelle Farris is a licensed psychotherapist and anger management specialist living in San Jose, California. She has been featured in several publications, including Psych Central, The Daily Positive, Your Tango, and Bustle. She teaches people how to create positive relationships and heal from codependency with simple tools to improve self-esteem. She has also written e-books and online courses to support growth and learning. In This Episode Who is Michelle Farris? [0:10] What is codependency? [1:38] What are some examples of codependency? [2:23] How do you deal with codependency? [3:55] What is healthy anger? [7:58] What is the difference between anger and resentment? [10:17] …and many more Quotes "Embracing our anger in codependency recovery is so key because it's that point where you finally say, you know what? Ouch! This hurts and I actually need to say something, versus no I'm gonna suck it up. I'm gonna be a people-pleaser because you know, what? It is safer that way, nobody's gonna be mad." [08:56] "If you stick with the facts and the feeling, and it isn't about judgment, it's gonna go down better…You can't say, you always or you never because the other person's not gonna deal with that. They're gonna get defensive." [15:28] "Recovery is messy. You know, recovery is not a process where okay, you go in, you do work for several months or even several years and then feel like everything's perfect. You know, you're gonna struggle on occasion and that's part of recovery. And I think sometimes people beat themselves up like oh, I shouldn't still have this resentment. Well, you know what? You do and it's okay, It's part of the process." [19:42] "The people who love us want us to take care of ourselves because they know that we're gonna be easier to be in a relationship with. We're gonna be happier. And sometimes, using that external motivation of, you know, your family really wants this for you, can help the codependent cause they're like oh, they're not gonna be mad? No, most likely, they're not. You know, they want you to be less overwhelmed." [23:14] "You can totally heal from codependency. And don't be afraid of the anger and resentment because I guarantee that is gonna deepen your healing because there's a reason why you feel resentment or there's a reason you feel angry." [24:09] Resources Mentioned Michelle Farris' Website Michelle Farris' LinkedIn PBT Podcasts Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz PBT Institute Membership Community Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness Trust Again Free Gift

When dealing with betrayal, many people spend so much time researching their situation to try and move forward with their lives. While it is important to be proactive in taking steps towards healing, all the studying becomes counterproductive when people get stuck reading instead of doing. My name is Dr. Debi Silber, and welcome to another exciting episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi. Today, I will be discussing how trying to understand your painful experiences can sometimes do more harm than good. I will also share some valuable tips on what you can do when this happens, so you can keep progressing on your healing journey. In This Episode Identify if you've gotten stuck in learning mode Learn about the common reasons why this happens Find out how to move forward on your healing journey Transcription Hi, there! It's Dr. Debi here and welcome to another Dose of Dr. Debi. This is something I caught a few members within The PBT Institute doing and I want to bring it up because I have a feeling, it may be something that you were doing too. There comes a time in the beginning, when you're healing from your experience, your painful experience where you're doing all the researching and you're learning and you're understanding. You and you may realize; "Wow, I didn't realize that person was a narcissist" "I didn't realize there was even such a thing as gaslighting." "I didn't know that I have PTSD symptoms," whatever it is. So you do your research and you're doing all your studying and all your learning. And then there comes a time where all of that doing it's very action oriented and we start feeling really good because we're taking action. But, the action we're taking is actually preventing us from taking the measures towards doing something very different that would bring us a very different result. We figure, "Well I'm really busy doing this and it's really good. I'm learning." But, once we've learned, we have to take what we've learned and implement it. I saw it so many times just yesterday where so many of our members (and I meet with some of them one on one, we also have our open Q&A, we call them coffee chats), and it just kept coming up so I'm sensing a theme here and maybe it's something you're doing as well. And I really just kept seeing it where, yes, they were taking action and action is really important, it's something we need to do, it's moving us forward. But be careful when you spend so much time in the action of understanding. And when it's sort of like a little bit of a subconscious way to prevent you from taking the action needed to create that change. Think about it, it's one thing to learn everything, like let's say you learn; "Holy moly I was guest lit, and this person is a covert narcissist, and I do have trauma that is from childhood" whatever it is and you realize. You've learned all of this. It's totally within your realm of understanding right now. Then think about it. Now that you know, there's no unknowing. You know this now. It's like you can't un-ring a bell. But now if you implement it, think about it. Now you take action. Let's say you let that person know, or you take drastic action, or you do something very different. It's going to cause a bit of a shakeup. So what we tend to do is we stay in that "learning mode," and just keep learning and learning. It's like; "Wow I really didn't understand this about myself. I really didn't know this about myself. I didn't know I reacted this way. I didn't know that's what that person was really doing," etc. It's all well and good until it prevents you from doing something about it. When we move through The Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough (it's what we teach within The PBT Institute), it's what I talk about in Trust Again (I walk you through The Five Stages). When we're in Stage Three, (Survival Instincts Emerge), which is the most practical of all of the Stages, we are figuring out how to survive our experience. Because it feels so much better than the shock and trauma of where we just came from, we think it's good. And because we don't know, there's a Stage Four and Stage Five (where transformation begins), we think this is it so we better figure out a way to be okay with it. So here's where we're taking all this action to figure out a way to survive our experience; "Where do I go?" "Who can I trust?" "How do I how do I deal with this," "How do I feed my kids?" It's very practical. We start taking actions and understand, this is still really good. But it's still going to keep us stuck in that Stage Three. When we're ready to move from that place of survival to finding and adjusting to a new normal (which is Stage Four), it's still very action oriented, but the action is moving us forward. It's actions toward our own self-care, increasing our confidence, improving our health, all of these forward moving actions. So I just wanted to make sure you knew that it's wonderful. It's wonderful that you're taking the time to understand your situat

Did you know that confronting your past can help you get your health back on track? Just ask Debbie Emick, who is living proof of this. Faced with autoimmune diseases, she tried everything she knew to regain her health, like taking medication, developing healthy eating and exercise habits, and even reducing her stress levels. Despite these attempts, her health continued to deteriorate, leaving her frustrated and depressed. Eventually, she discovered her greatest source of self-healing, which was overcoming her people-pleasing and perfectionist tendencies. In today's episode of From Betrayal to Breakthrough, Debbie Emick shares with us how unresolved childhood trauma can sneak up on us and wreak havoc on our health, and what she went through to achieve self-healing. About Guest/Topic Debbie Emick is a co-creator and blogger at gobucketyourself.com. She is also the co-host of the One Life Live It podcast. While suffering from multiple autoimmune diseases, Debbie discovered the mind-body connection to healing, and the importance of confronting repressed emotions and past trauma. Today, she enjoys a healthier and more fulfilling life. She lives on the plains of southeastern Colorado with her husband, two daughters, a dog, and six chickens. When she's not traveling to the mountains, the beach, or Hispanic countries, you'll find her at home in her sunroom, or on her back porch sipping hot tea. In This Episode Who is Debbie Emick? [0:11] What is her story? [1:30] What were some of the physical symptoms that she experienced during her childhood? [9:42] What attempts did she do to manage her childhood trauma at that time? [11:22] What are some somatic practices and activities that helped Debbie? [19:36] …and many more Quotes "When I was able to actually process and release some emotional trauma, some repressed emotions, physical pain also began to leave my body." [04:41] "The more emotional work I did, the more worthiness I could find in myself, and then I could use food in a loving way and I could use exercise in a loving way, not like a punishing way or a controlling way. And so, I started to let go of that perfectionism and be more vulnerable and open and really see who I really was. [14:05] "When we hold our emotions or our trauma, we're doing something to our nervous system that we can't see, right? But it's a physical, chemical, hormonal response that overtime is creating this chronic condition in our body, whatever it is, and it's directly tied to lung disease, to heart disease, both of which I had." [28:15] "This is my life and I get to decide to live it, and I get to decide to be vulnerable and authentic in myself and not keep secrets or hide things anymore." [28:44] "Avoiding, numbing, distracting may work for a while, but it always catches up to us." [32:48] Resources Mentioned Debbie Emick's Website Debbie Emick Instagram Healthy Living Simple Instagram PBT Podcasts Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz PBT Institute Membership Community Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness Trust Again Free Gift

Betrayal can leave a psychological wound that just never seems to get better. For many of us, it's a constant struggle to cope with the emotional pain and trauma. But how do you know if you're merely surviving and not healing? What can you do if you're stuck trying to figure out the next move? I'm Dr. Debi Silber and welcome to another insightful episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi. Today, we'll be discussing the third of the Five Stages to get from Betrayal to Breakthrough, which is the stage that many people tend to linger in and fail to move on from. This survival stage is necessary in breaking out of the shock and trauma of the second stage, but it isn't a place that you want to stick around in for too long. We'll talk about what happens when you're in it, why you could be stuck, and what you can do to lift yourself up and progress to the next stage. In This Episode Identify if you've gotten stuck in survival mode Discover the common reasons why people are unable to move on Find out how to move forward in your healing journey Transcription Hi there, Dr. Debi here. Welcome to another Dose of Dr. Debi. Are you stuck? I'm asking that because I've been on podcasts every single day, Monday through Friday, and I've been going over The Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough, and when I talk about Stage Three, which is survival, survival instincts emerge. I start talking about it and the host says; "Oh my gosh, (if they're a coach) that's where all my clients are!" Or; "Oh my gosh I remember exactly when I was in that stage and I stayed there for a very long time." It's the most common place to get stuck in. And if we're not careful, we could stay stuck in that stage for life so I want to share what it is. This way, if you're there (also there are four reasons why we tend to stay in that one place) and when you know you can see if that's exactly what you're doing and of course what you can do about it. So, when it we talk about The Five Stages and I won't go through them here, we talk about them in Trust Again and that's what we teach within The PBT Institute. Stage Two is the shock and trauma, and you ignite the stress response so you're headed for every single stress related symptom, illness, condition and disease. Your mind is in a complete state of chaos and overwhelm-you cannot wrap your mind around the information you just learned this makes no sense to you. Your worldview is shattered- that's your mental model. It's your rules of your world, it's what prevents chaos. So the bottom has truly bottomed out on you in Stage Two, it's terrifying. It's the scariest of all of the stages. Think about it though, if the bottom were to bottom out on you, what would you do? You'd grab hold of anything and everything you could to stay safe and stay alive. That's Stage Three, survival instincts emerge. It's the most practical of all of the stages; "If you can't help me get out of my way." "How do I survive this experience?" "Who can I trust?" "Where do I go?" "How do I feed my kids?" It's that practical. Here's the trap. Once you figured out how to survive, because it feels so much better than the shock and the trauma of where you just came from, you think it's good. You're like; "Okay, alright, we got this." And, on some level, it is good because it's so much better than the shock and trauma of where you just came from. Yes it's better, but that doesn't mean it's good. Transformation doesn't even happen until Stages Four and Five. But a few things happen in Stage Three. Because we feel like we're kind of on solid ground a little bit again, few things start happening. The first is we start getting all of these "small self" benefits. We get to be right We get our story We get someone to blame We get a target for our anger We get sympathy from everybody we tell our story to We don't have to do the hard work of learning to trust again; "Should I trust you?" "Can I trust you?" "Forget it. I'm just not trusting anybody." So we start planting some deeper roots there. Then the next thing that happens. Because you're here and you're not supposed to stay for a long time but you are, now your mind starts doing things like; "Well, maybe you're not all that great." "Maybe you deserved it" Maybe this, maybe that, and you start planting some deeper roots. Then, because "like energy attracts like energy," now you're calling situations and circumstances and even relationships towards you to confirm that this is exactly where you belong. Then there's that whole "misery loves company" club so you're part of that too. Then because you're here longer than you need to be, this happens next. Because you don't like it, but you don't know there's anything better, right here is where you resign yourself. You're like; "I guess I have to find a way to make this work. It's terrible. I'm not happy, but I don't know there's anything better." So right here is where you start using food, and drugs and alcohol and work and TV and keeping busy and anythin

The trauma caused by betrayal is perhaps one of the most painful things that a person can live with. If you are struggling with letting go of hurt, anxiety, or stress, let Hale Dwoskin help you out. Over four decades ago, Hale discovered the Sedona Method®, a simple, powerful, and easy-to-learn technique that helped him let go of unwanted emotions. This powerful tool led him to achieve inner peace, lightness, and contentment, and it enabled him to succeed in various facets of his life. Since then, he has been on a mission to help others learn the Sedona Method® so they can also improve their lives. In this episode of From Betrayal to Breakthrough, Hale talks about inner resistance and how the Sedona Method® can help people move forward and uncover the happiness that is within them. About Guest/Topic Hale Dwoskin has dedicated more than 40 years to teaching and sharing the Sedona Method, which helps people alleviate their suffering and discover the truth of who they really are. Hale is the author of the New York Times best-seller The Sedona Method and is one of the featured teachers in the book and movie phenomenon The Secret. He was also mentioned in the book The Greatest Secret and the movie Letting Go. Hale is the Director of Training, Chief Teacher, and Spokesperson of Sedona Training Associates, an organization created to promote the emotional releasing techniques inspired by his friend, mentor, and teacher, Lester Levenson. He also co-authored Happiness is Free and it's Easier Than You Think with Levenson and is a founding member of the Transformational Leadership Council. In This Episode Who is Hale Dwoskin? [0:10] What is the Sedona Method®? [2:14] How can the Sedona Method® help people let go of the pain caused by betrayal? [3:16] Real-life examples of the results of the Sedona Method® [6:29] How do you practice the Sedona Method®? [11:43] …and many more Quotes "The reason I know this simple way of letting go is so powerful is I've been doing it myself since 1976 and I've been helping people with it since 1976. And hundreds of thousands of people do this all over the world and what they find is that when they're open to letting go, they're not letting the other person off the hook, they're letting themselves off the hook." [4:19] "When you put your excess baggage down, then your life lightens, your heart opens, your body relaxes, and you see life with a lot more clarity, insight, and understanding, and you don't feel the victim anymore. You can start to take control of your life in a very organic, natural, integrated way." [5:50] "Universally, what happens to people as they let go is they become more comfortable in their own skin, they feel more at ease even in situations that used to be tense, they feel more able to handle life's challenges, and they generally see improvements in the level of amount of money they have in the bank. Believe it or not, when you feel less stressed and more peaceful and more happy [sic], it affects your level of abundance." [7:32] "What we've discovered is that when people let go, their bodies start to correct themselves—even from the small to the extreme. When you take out the stress and the tension and the anxiety and the feelings you have about whatever is going on physically, then you naturally gravitate towards things that actually help." [10:02] "Feelings are just feelings. They're not facts and they're not you and you can let them go. And also, you—at your core—are already whole, already complete, already enough as you are. And you can discover that for yourself by just being open to what's really natural and true for yourself and letting go as best you can." [27:10] Resources Mentioned The Sedona Method® Website The Sedona Method® Facebook The Sedona Method® YouTube PBT Podcasts Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz PBT Institute Membership Community

Unhealed betrayal can affect you physically, mentally, and emotionally, taking a toll on your daily life and even manifesting itself in your business. So, how do you know if your emotional baggage is impacting your work? Are there tell-tale signs you must watch out for? I am Dr. Debi Silber and welcome to another insightful episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi. Today, I'll be discussing how unhealed betrayal can sabotage you and prevent you from reaching your goals. You will also learn how to identify the barriers to your success so you can overcome them. In This Episode Discover the 7 ways unhealed betrayal can impact your business Learn the first step needed to make a change in your life and heal from betrayal Find out how stress is affecting you Transcription Hi there, Dr. Debi here with another Dose of Dr. Debi. So, you know I always talk about betrayal and how it impacts us physically, mentally and emotionally and it affects our, our health, our work, or relationships? So today I want to talk about seven ways in which unhealed betrayal is impacting your business. It's common to think that a betrayal of a family member, partner, friend, or coworker impacts us personally. Here are seven ways in which unhealed betrayal is impacting your business. 1: Confidence. Think about it, a betrayal shatters our confidence, one minute we can feel safe and secure then a painful discovery of betrayal can shatter that sense of safety in an instant. Think about how that impacts your business if confidence is shattered. How comfortable are you asking for the sale, asking for the raise, introducing yourself at a networking event, or making a call to someone you're hoping to collaborate with? Confidence is crucial in business and without it, it's really, really challenging to convey your message in a way that you want it to come across. 2: An unhealed betrayal dramatically impacts your health and level of energy. Once the stress response is ignited from this type of pain, you're headed for just about every single stress-related symptom, illness, condition, disease. Some of the most common symptoms left in the wake of a betrayal are digestive issues, and by that, I mean anything from Crohn's, IBS, colitis, constipation, diarrhea, you name it. Extreme exhaustion, brain fog, mental confusion, insomnia, anxiety, sadness, anger and depression too. That's just to name a few. So, managing these symptoms while managing your business, in addition to any other responsibilities you may have like raising your kids running your household, taking care of elderly parents, can make running a thriving business, near impossible. 3: Body. One of the most common physical symptoms of an unhealed betrayal is weight. As of now, we've had about 25,000 people take the Post Betrayal Syndrome quiz to see to what extent they're struggling, and 47% of them have weight changes. In the very beginning, maybe they can't hold food down. Later on, they may be using food for comfort. So, while immediately after that painful discovery, it may be really impossible to hold food down, after that you're using food as the way to soothe, calm, numb, relax. It's a way to self-medicate from the pain that the betrayal can cause. The stress alone can drive fat storage, particularly around your midsection. So, think about doing videos, speaking, networking, or any other aspect of your business that requires you to be seen. Not feeling comfortable in your own skin, means you're not putting yourself out there the way you need to, and it's affecting the amount of people who know about you and what you do. 4: Self-esteem. A betrayal shatters our self-esteem, along with our sense of worthiness. Because betrayal feels so intentional, we take it so personally. So, this direct hit, has us questioning, our very worth. So, imagine how that impacts your business. If you don't feel a profound sense of worthiness, it shows in the way you speak and communicate who and what you do. And if you don't believe in yourself, how can anyone else? the direct. This directly impacts how many people are convinced that you are the one that can help them in the very specific way they need. Without your own conviction, how can anyone else feel convinced that you can help them? 5: Ability to trust another person is a big one. One of the most profound implications of a betrayal is the shattering of trust. After we've been betrayed, we don't trust in others and we hardly trust ourselves. We question ourselves asking: "How do we not know this?" "How can I be so blind?" "How did I not see this coming?" So, think about it, when we don't trust ourselves, we don't trust in our decisions, and we don't trust in our own judgment. This makes it challenging to know if we're making healthy or unhealthy business decisions. We also lose our trust in others, so we're afraid to be a team player, do joint venture or collaborative projects and we question: "If the person I trusted the most proved untrustworthy, how can I trus

Do you sometimes feel like your body has betrayed you? Or maybe it's the inverse, do you feel like you have betrayed your body? What does body betrayal mean? What does it look like? Let's find out. Dr. Lisa Olszewski struggled with her weight since she was a child, causing her to feel like her body let her down multiple times. Despite sticking to CrossFit exercises and trying many popular weight-loss diets, she just couldn't shed the unwanted, excess pounds. Eventually, these instances of "body betrayal" led her to starve herself for four months. While she finally lost the unwanted pounds, she damaged her health in the process, even losing her hair and messing up her menstrual cycle. This time, her body was on the receiving end of betrayal. In this episode of From Betrayal to Breakthrough, Dr. Lisa Olszewski shares what she went through to heal her body back while learning to love herself in the process. About Guest/Topic Dr. Lisa Olszewski is a chiropractor, naturopath, and keto nutrition fanatic. When she's not fixing spines in her chiropractic office, she's passionately simplifying healthy living through her online courses, virtual summits, and one-on-one coaching to help everyone achieve vibrant health levels. She maintains a wellness chiropractic office in Chelsea, Michigan, and made history in 2012 when she was elected the first female to serve on the Executive Committee of the Michigan Association of Chiropractors. In January of this year, she became the first female President of that association. In This Episode Who is Dr. Lisa Olszewski? [0:10] Learn about the body betrayals that Dr. Lisa went through [1:39] How did Dr. Lisa Olszewski overcome these hurdles? [3:54] What is EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)? [12:22] How can we achieve a healthy body, mind, and spirit? [18:12] …and many more Quotes "I realized what completes me is me. I think that's something so many of us have always said, like, 'oh I can't wait to find my soulmate, you know, to find that person that completes me.' Nobody else is ever gonna complete you." [9:14] "Think of those words that we're always saying to ourselves and if you said that to your best friend, you wouldn't have a best friend. Like, we have to become cognizant of the comments that we're making, what, all those conversations that are replaying in our head all throughout the day and really paying attention to it." [10:59] "There's a vibrancy that comes about not only when you're healing from that cell level, like structurally, but physically, mentally, emotionally." [14:19] "Every single decision you make today impacts the quality of life 10, 20, 30 years down the road, like, that's the reality of it. So, if it's just by incorporating one simple thing today and you do that tomorrow and you add it in again 3 days from now and then, you continue on, you will absolutely without a doubt be healthier a year from now than, you know, be sicker, right? By just incorporating simple things." [18:52] "Healthy living can be simple and it is the simple, strategic steps, simple steps are baby steps. I always use that Tony Robbins analogy, right? I'm gonna steal it from Tony Robbins where he always says um, if you look at our children when they're crawling and learning to walk, if they fall, it's not that we ever look at our kids and just say, 'give up now, you're not gonna be a walker!' No, but how often do we do it with ourselves? It could be healthy living. It could be whatever aspect of our life… Go back to being that crawling toddler and try and try and try again." [25:11] Resources Mentioned Dr. Lisa Olszewski's Website American Institute of Healthy Living Facebook Healthy Living Simple Instagram PBT Podcasts Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz PBT Institute Membership Community Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness Trust Again Free Gift

While change is a crucial aspect of one's developmental journey, many people remain resistant to it, preferring instead to stay in their comfort zone. That said, one important question needs to be asked—is there a way for us to learn to embrace change? How can we get better at dealing with transitions? I am Dr. Debi Silber and welcome to another insightful episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi. Today, we will be discussing two different approaches to change: the revolutionary way, which is quick and drastic; and the evolutionary method, which is slow, gradual, and gentle. We will also be tackling how to identify which approach makes sense for our individual circumstances. In This Episode Learn the difference between evolutionary and revolutionary approaches to change Discover the applications of these distinct approaches Find out which approach is a better fit for your situation Transcription Hi there, Dr. Debi here welcome to another Dose of Dr. Debi is part of the From Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast. So today I want to talk about the difference between evolutionary and revolutionary. What do I mean? Years ago I had a client who I was pushing pretty hard. I mean, that's why they hire me. She was a health client, and wanted to look a certain way and feel a certain way so I was really pushing her, thinking that that's what she wanted. She stopped me one day and she said; "Debi, my changes need to be evolutionary not revolutionary." It stopped me in my tracks. I didn't quite understand what she meant back then. But, what she meant was; "My changes need to be so slow and gradual that I barely notice I'm making them, and because of that. I'll sustain those changes and keep moving forward." Versus; "Throw me in the deep end and I have to figure it out." So change happens, whether you take the evolutionary approach or the revolutionary approach, but I want to talk today about finding out which one resonates best with you. So if you find that you've been wanting to make all of these changes, physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually whatever it is, and then you're sabotaging yourself, I want you to take a look and think; "You know, is it possible that my approach has been the wrong one for me that I need an evolutionary approach and I'm giving myself a revolutionary approach?" Or; "I'm giving myself a revolutionary approach, and I really would be best served with an evolutionary approach?" Let me give you examples of both. The first thing that comes to mind is, and most of you know I have four kids, (25,24, 21 and 19). I have one of my daughters, who happens to do really well with the revolutionary approach. She would rather not make any changes, and then throw herself in the deep end and figure it out. It's like throwing yourself in the deep end and figuring out how to swim, versus, let me see if I can take a little swimming lesson. Let me see if I can learn something. Let me see if I can read a book about swimming, let me just do one thing that can bring me closer to it. Nope. She'd rather not and dive right in. She's done this so many times and has found that for her, it's a brilliant approach. I'll never forget, she's done this many times, (and I may have even shared this on one of the episodes) where she just came to me one day and said; "Mom, I need to go to China for a semester, and I already figured it out, and it's 10 credits and it's actually less expensive than school." It sounded reasonable and knowing who she was, I was like; "Well, okay." Maybe she knows something that I don't know and okay I'll go along with it. And so she does this, and then she calls up when she's there, after the first couple days; "Oh my gosh, what did I do, this is crazy, I don't speak the language, I'm a vegetarian. I don't know what to eat, I can't ask for anything. I made the biggest mistake. Oh no!" Well, a couple days later, she calls back; "Oh, Mom, this is the greatest. It's the best thing ever. It's so nice. There's a lady who cuts up my fruit for me and I know my way around and it's amazing." It was the greatest thing ever for her, the revolutionary approach was a good one. Now, there are other people and I have so many people within The PBT Institute where they need to take an evolutionary approach. And for them, it could be something as simple as they just joined the membership, they join the community, and that's it. We don't hear from them within the community, we don't see them within the community, but they're just dipping their toe in, and maybe they'll do a module of one of the programs, maybe we'll just read some of the posts that we have on our forums, all of our different forums different categories and topics, maybe they'll just attend one of my classes, and then they'll do that for a few weeks. Then, all of a sudden, they may comment on one of the forum posts, they may post a comment after one of the classes, they may put their video on during one of our live classes. What they're doing is

When dealing with betrayal and emotional trauma, a lot of people get stuck feeling anger, pain, and stress. Dr. Ritamarie Loscalzo, the founder of the Institute of Nutritional Endocrinology, believes that sufferers of betrayal should not hang onto their stories by reliving their experiences as this can be detrimental to their physical health. In this insightful episode of From Betrayal to Breakthrough, Dr. RitaMarie talks about how the body releases cortisol whenever it perceives stress. This hormone causes our heart rate and blood sugar level to increase, posing risks of insulin resistance and even heart disease. She shares some valuable tips on what to do when you are on a sympathetic nervous system overdrive. About Guest/Topic Dr. Ritamarie Loscalzo is a licensed Doctor of Chiropractic, a certified nutritionist, and the founder of the Institute of Nutritional Endocrinology. Using her hard-earned skills and knowledge, she helps health and nutrition practitioners discover and treat the root cause of various health concerns. Her treatments make use of functional assessments and natural therapeutics to balance the endocrine system, the body's master controller of hormones that regulate metabolism, sexual function, sleep, mood, and many more. She is also a certified HeartMath® provider with a passion for stress transformation techniques, which she uses to help her clients combat stress and its negative effects on a person's health. Dr. RitaMarie offers several online programs and long-distance coaching and counseling services. She also hosts informative events. In This Episode Who is Dr. Ritamarie Loscalzo? [0:08] Understand what happens within the body when we are stressed [2:58] Discover what HeartMath® is [14:07] Find out how long it takes for someone to start practicing HeartMath® automatically [20:15] Learn how you can regulate your blood sugar levels through your diet [25:08] …and many more Quotes "An elevated blood sugar affects everything in your body. So, if you've ever known anybody who was diabetic or heard of the complications of diabetes, that's happening in your body decades before you get diagnosed and even if you never get diagnosed." [4:59] "I teach people a technique. You've probably heard of it, HearthMath®. And I teach them how to tune in to their breath and their appreciation. And instantly, it shifts them into parasympathetic. And now, because they're so stressed up and wound up, they're gonna go right back. But if they can incorporate these little 30-second to 2-minute breaks throughout their day. Over time, within a week, they're gonna start to feel better. The cravings start to go down." [13:32] "Your nervous system doesn't know the difference between you actually experiencing something and you retelling it, talking about it, thinking about it. It creates the same neurochemistry, the same immune system problems, the same blood pressure elevations." [16:56] "You have control. Every choice you make matters. And you know when you are in this betrayal situation, you feel like you didn't have choices, right? This happened to you. Your response after is all a matter of how you choose—what you eat, how you think about it, whether you choose to diffuse it or whether you're in a place where you just don't want to… and then I realized anger isn't serving me here." [26:14] Resources Mentioned Dr. Ritamarie Loscalzo Dr. Ritamarie Loscalzo Facebook Hormone Hacking Breakfast Menus PBT Podcasts Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz PBT Institute Membership Community Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness Trust Again Free Gift

Forgiveness is an important step to rebuilding-either yourself or a broken relationship. While this act can bring the forgiver peace of mind and frees them of hurt, anger, and blame, the process can take an incredible amount of effort and time. For many people, it is a constant struggle to let go of past grudges and lingering resentment. Is there a way out of these negative emotions to move forward? What can you do if forgiving a person who wronged you is proving to be difficult? I am Dr. Debi Silber and welcome to another insightful episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi. Today, we will be discussing forgiveness and the importance of understanding your motives for wanting to be more forgiving. We will also tackle what acceptance means and how it can lead to healing when you aren't ready to forgive. In This Episode Realize the benefits of forgiveness Discover the common reasons why we withhold forgiveness Understand the difference between forgiveness and acceptance Transcription Hi there, Dr. Debi here and welcome to another Dose of Dr. Debi as part of the From Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast. You know, this has been coming up a lot within The PBT Institute, so I wanted to bring it up because I have a feeling this may serve you. So often we want to move towards forgiveness. We've heard forgiveness is for us, not the other person. We've heard we'll feel so much better when we forgive, and we struggle with it so much. So I'm going to talk about today, the difference between moving towards acceptance versus forgiveness. So if you're struggling with forgiveness, give yourself a big sigh of relief because maybe acceptance is an easier way to go. So that's the topic for today. Just to break down forgiveness, a little bit. Yes, we've heard, it's in our best interest to forgive because it's true. We release the pain and the power that this has had over us so that's a that's a benefit. We struggle with it though because we think if we forgive, are we setting ourselves up for it to happen again? Are we a sucker? Are we a pushover? Withholding forgiveness also gives us a sense of control. When we've been betrayed, when we've been lied to, or deceived, life spins out of control. We want to grab on to anything that gives us a feeling like we have the reins like we're getting some measure of control back into our lives. Withholding forgiveness, believe it or not, can feel like one of the things that we have control over. So, there are so many reasons why we would withhold forgiveness. Also, let's face it, our egos are badly bruised and withholding forgiveness, gives us a sense of power, like; "I'll show you" kind of thing. And that's just our ego talking and you know it's been badly bruised and it's flexing its muscle a bit. But here's the thing. Yes, forgiveness is all about us. Yes, it releases the power the pain has over us. Yes, it prevents us from spending so much time on the past and harnesses that time, so that we can work towards the future. That's the idea. We want to heal and we give ourselves the best possible opportunity. When we forgive, it's not about them, it's about us. And the biggest difference I would say is, when it comes to forgiveness, is that's largely about us. When it comes to reconciliation. that's largely about the other person. You still don't have to do anything if you don't want to. But when it comes to forgiveness, it really doesn't matter what's going on on the other end of it, it doesn't matter if they agree, it doesn't matter if they apologize, it doesn't matter if there's deep regret, remorse, apology, guilt, all of these things. It really doesn't matter. It's about us and it's that release we feel when we do forgive. It's interesting. I really thought forgiveness was going to be this one big grand ta-da moment. No, it's layers and stages and I remember even in my own journeys with both of my betrayals. You forgive then you take it back, you forgive, you take it back, you forgive you take it back. And that was really hard. I was working with my badly bruised ego that whole time. And when we really forgive you truly do feel free. But, if you're not ready for that, that's ok. I see so often where people try to forgive too early and it backfires every time. So check the reasons why you want to forgive. If the reason is because you just want this over with, you just want to put it behind you, but you haven't really processed it, it's going to backfire. I remember reading one study, when I was doing the study on betrayal and in the study they said; "If you feel safe and valued and you forgive, you feel better. If you do not feel safe and valued and you forgive you feel worse." So take a look at your own situation. Are you forgiving just to get it over with? Just to put it behind you? Just because it's too chaotic if you're not going along with everything? Take a look at your intentions. Why you want to forgive? Because I'll tell you there were three groups in the study who did not heal, and the grou

People with trust and betrayal issues often struggle with intimacy problems, which can lead to divorce, separation, or loneliness. Luckily, Susan Bratton is here to teach us how we can heal and reignite our sexual passion. In this episode of From Betrayal to Breakthrough, Susan shares her Magic Pill Method that can help partners remove the roadblocks that prevent us from achieving a healthy and satisfying relationship. About Guest/Topic Susan Bratton is an intimacy expert and advocate for those who desire passionate relationships. She is the CEO and co-founder of The 20, a manufacturing company focusing on sexual health supplements, and Personal Life Media, Inc. A prolific author, Susan has written 34 books and created several programs that have helped countless people find answers to their intimacy problems. She has been featured in the New York Times and frequently lends her expertise to national television shows. In This Episode Who is Susan Bratton? [0:10] How do trust issues and betrayal affect sexuality and intimacy? [2:45] How did you solve the problem of betrayal affecting intimacy? [7:22] What is the Magic Pill Method? [9:37] How much of the pain [during sexual intercourse] has to do with mindset and trauma and conditioning from past stuff that hasn't been cleared up? [16:47] What can you do to move past shame and feeling uncomfortable so you can find solutions? [18:43] What is G-Spot healing? [28:55] …and many more Quotes "Our sexual growth and personal growth are two sides of the same coin. As we age, as we mature, we can get better in bed and have more fulfilling intimacy and heart connection than we did when we are young. We are an ever-expanding possibility and it's our choice to either contract or expand." [10:43] "If you are in a partnered relationship, fix the problem together. Because when you have the commitment, it's not just okay your vagina is broken, go fix it…our vagina is broken." [18:07] "You're actually the one who is better off than the person who traumatized you. When you begin to look at it that way, that yes, you were ruined by it, but…they're the one who needs to feel sorry." [27:03] "One of the things that's very important for people who have been sexuality traumatized or betrayed is that they need to have everything slowed down." [34:53] "You can get through it. That you can heal your trauma and you can come out the other side and remember your central self before trauma." [39:18] Resources Mentioned Personal Life Media G Spot Joy Better Lover Magic Pill Method Libido Book PBT Podcasts Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz PBT Institute Membership Community Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness Trust Again Free Gift

Life is filled with endless opportunities and every day is a chance to steer yourself toward a more fulfilled and happier life. But how many times have you held yourself back from experiences and opportunities? How many times have you given up on your dreams or passions because you thought they were unattainable or you were too busy? If you could wind the clock back, would you? What if I told you that it's never too late to make drastic changes in your life? I am Dr. Debi Silber and welcome to another episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi. Today, we will be discussing how we often prevent ourselves from achieving what we are truly capable of and why it's never too late to pursue our life's calling or make significant changes in our lives. In This Episode Listen to Dr. Debi as she shares the moment that changed her life Understand the importance of reflecting on your personal journey Learn why it's never too late to start something new or make changes in your life Transcription Hi there. Welcome to another Dose of Dr. Debi and today I wanted to talk about how it's never too late. And the reason why I want to talk about that is, you know on Facebook, sometimes you get those "memories" that show up on your timeline? Well, I had a memory show up, and it was such a milestone for me. It impacted me so much that I shared it. It impacted everybody who saw it. I put it in my weekly newsletter, and I got a lot of great responses from there, too. I thought I would share it with you, with the hopes that it'll inspire you, too. I actually want to read what I wrote, and then I want to talk a little bit about it. A meaningful memory popped up on my Facebook timeline today. I find that we're so busy thinking about what we need to do, what we haven't done, and what we could do better. Yet, when we take the time to reflect on where we were a month, a year, 5 years ago, we often realize how much we've done, how resilient we are, and more importantly, who we've become because of what we've been through along the way. When this "memory" showed up on my timeline, it was a great time to reflect on a personal journey of trauma to transformation, and coming out of it with the inspiration for what I'm blessed to say, has helped thousands of others do the same. Life is filled with so many opportunities to see how resilient we are. These things don't happen because we're unlucky or we're destined to live a painful story as victims of what's happened to us. Things simply happen, and it's what we do with these things that matter most. Yes, we can have our story, but becoming the hero or heroine of our story is a much better story. It's through "opportunities" in the form of negative experiences, toxic relationships, and painful exchanges that we can let that define us, or we can find the strength to slowly and steadily rise above. I love that saying by Eleanor Roosevelt: "A woman is like a tea bag – you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water." Well, my tea bag self has been in hot water a few times in the form of the loss of loved ones, a disease that nearly ended my life, and heartbreaking, soul-crushing betrayal. Each experience had its own unique healing protocol, and each one left me with insights and strength gained from moving past them. How would I define the healing process? Messy, uncomfortable, kind of like an "ugly cry". Definitely not graceful or pretty, yet there's something so beautiful about the process of self-discovery, especially when you can look at it from the other side and see from a healed space how strong, resilient and powerful you've become because of it. After my painful betrayal, I was desperate to understand how the mind works, why people do these things, and how I can heal. I realized that boundaries were being crossed and I never took my needs seriously. Something had to change and that was me. So, at 50, with 4 kids, 6 dogs, and a business, I enrolled in a PhD program. I honestly had no clue how I'd manage it, pay for it or find the time to go through it. But since "nothing changes if nothing changes," that betrayal was the catalyst for my life to change more than I would ever realize. Talk about the unknown—have you ever done something without having any idea what would show up? Where, you felt so guided to do something, say something, try something without having any idea why? Yep, that's exactly what happened and the pull was so strong that I just decided to go with it. So here's what my Facebook memory reminded me of, and I invite you to consider what memories you can think about to remind you of what you've been through, too. 1 - My 79-year-old fellow graduate friend who got his PhD along with me, letting me know that I can never use the excuse "you're too old to do something" ever again 2 - Family to celebrate this milestone with 3 - Getting "hooded" as part of the PhD ceremony 4 - The minute after giving the commencement speech for my class and knowing that the words I just spoke would

Most people are familiar with physical abuse, but when it comes to emotional abuse, victims often second-guess themselves. According to Abuse Recovery Expert Beverly Engel, it is easy to miss the signs of emotional abuse due to deceptive tactics used by abusers. One important thing to remember is that victims should never feel that they deserve the abuse or feel ashamed of their situation. In this episode of From Betrayal to Breakthrough, Beverly discusses what usually occurs in an emotionally abusive relationship and how we can be compassionate toward ourselves to begin the healing process. About Guest/Topic Beverly Engel is an internationally recognized psychotherapist with 35 years of experience. She is also a licensed marriage and family therapist and an acclaimed advocate for victims of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse. Beverly authored 23 self-help books, many of which have been featured on national television and radio programs, as well as national print media. Her latest book is titled, Escaping Emotional Abuse: Healing the Shame You Don't Deserve. In This Episode Who is Beverly Engel? [0:10] What is emotional abuse? [2:10] What are some examples of emotional abuse? [2:49] How do you know if someone is being emotionally abused? [4:11] Can men be emotionally abused and if so, what does it look like? [10:44] Scenarios that show women abusing men [12:15] How does shame come into play in emotional abuse? [15:08] What is the difference between guilt and shame? [17:38] Is it possible to abuse someone unintentionally and if so, how? [20:20] Perspectives on lying, projecting, gaslighting [22:13] What is the 5 Step Shame Reduction Program? [26:43] What are some examples of self-kindness? [29:24] …and many more Quotes "Emotional abuse is like brainwashing. It slowly whittles away the victim's self-confidence, you know, self-esteem, even their perceptions of themselves." [7:17] "There's research that shows that emotional abuse is actually more physically and emotionally damaging than physical abuse" [10:24] "You gotta be careful. Victims tend to take all the blame and abusers tend to blame everybody else." [13:51] "A lot of abusers go to therapy once their partners have left and that's just to get her back but some go to therapy because they're truly shocked at their own behavior. They're truly shocked at their children witnessing their behavior and they truly want to change." [21:51] "Don't blame or shame yourself if you're not ready to leave and if you're never gonna leave, okay? Don't add that shame to the shame that you are already feeling. There are good reasons why you are afraid." [30:10] Resources Mentioned Beverly Engel's Website Heal My Shame PBT Podcasts Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz PBT Institute Membership Community Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness Trust Again Free Gift

Many people shy away from things that make them uncomfortable so they sweep the issue under the rug instead of facing it head-on. The thing is, the predicament doesn't go away. And by ignoring it, the problem can actually become bigger than it has to be. Aside from that, avoiding lingering issues forces you to miss out on the opportunity to overcome them and build confidence from the experience. So how do you avoid taking the path of least resistance? How can you learn to embrace challenges? I am Dr. Debi Silber and welcome to another insightful episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi. Today, we will be tackling the mantra, "Hard Now, Easy Later," and how you can apply this mindset to your daily life. In This Episode Understand the difference between "easy now, hard later," and "hard now, easy later." Discover areas in life where you've applied these mantras Find out how you can remind yourself to choose the "hard now, easy later" option Transcription Hi there Dr. Debi here and here is another Dose of Dr. Debi as part of the From Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast. There's a saying, and I'm not kidding, it's my 30th year in business and this is a saying that I have been using for 30 years. It applies to every single topic in life, and I want to share it with you. I have a feeling if you embrace this mantra, you will see so clearly how you're showing up and more importantly, what you can do to change what isn't working for you. Ready? Easy now, hard later. Hard now, easy later. Take your pick, it's going to be one of those two. So here's what I mean and you can use it for anything. Let's take weight loss for example. Easy now: "there are the cookies and I want them." Hard later: "I can't button my pants." Or, hard now: "I really want those cookies, but I really want to feel good too." Easy later: "Huh, look how great my clothes fit me!" You see, it works with any topic. For example: "I don't want to have that awkward conversation, so I'm just going to pretend that everything's okay," that's easy now, hard later. Or: "Wow, this issue is still lingering" (hard now), "I don't want to have that awkward conversation but I know I need to in order to clear the air" (easy later). And then after that conversation, "Wow, with a clearer understanding, we both understand where each other is coming from!" I run The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute, and I see it so clearly within our Institute and it shows up in so many ways. Here's the experience of easy now: "This is really uncomfortable. This is really painful. I just don't know what to do. So I'm going to use food, drugs, alcohol, work, TV, keeping busy, or reckless behavior to numb, avoid, or distract from this pain that is so painful to feel or face." Hard later: "It's still there. My challenge is still there. The problem is still there. I don't feel any better about my experience." On the other hand, hard now: "This is one of the most challenging things I've ever faced. I am facing demons and slaying dragons and this is really, really hard." And then easy later: "Wow, you know, by facing it and feeling it, I'm healing it! I'm moving through this experience, I'm seeing how strong I am. I'm seeing how capable I am. Things that used to completely derail me, no longer do. I'm becoming more confident. I'm putting boundaries in place that I never did before. And I'm seeing things so differently. And the more I extract myself from that situation, the more I remove myself from the experience, the more clearly I see it. And even though it happened to me it's not about me." You see, we see so many things when we do the "hard now, easy later." But let's face it, that's uncomfortable. And so many of us don't want to be uncomfortable. So we just kind of get by, and we think: "Okay, well you know what, I'll just move through this taking the path of least resistance." If you've noticed, it doesn't go away. So what would it take for you to try the "hard now, easy later," as opposed to "easy now, hard later"? Take a look at how you've handled things before. I remember a mentor saying: "How you are in one area is how you are with everything." So, there may be many other areas of life where you chose "easy now." And you're sitting there with the "hard later." This becomes a habit. And, what I see so often is that this mountain gets bigger and bigger to climb because as we're avoiding these things, it's just becoming too much to take on. Then it just becomes bigger and bigger and bigger, and then the fear of it just makes it bigger than it is. It makes it bigger than it needs to be. As opposed to when we opt for the "hard now." This may sound something like: "I don't know how I'm going to get through this thing. I'm going to go over, around, through it. But, I am getting to the other side." And, whether that means chipping away at it ever so slowly, that's okay. As long as you do something, incrementally, every single day to move you in the direction you want to go. At least you're ch

Food addiction is typical after a betrayal. When we are misusing food, we are also betraying our own inner guidance. But Debbie Lichter, an expert on food addiction and embodiment, knows from experience that there is a way out of this hole. In this episode, Debbie tackles the importance of knowing what is driving you towards food addiction and trusting your inner guidance system so that you can restore an internal sense of ease and comfort within yourself. About Guest/Topic Debbie Lichter is the founder of Freedom Embodied Academy. Over the past decade, she has devoted herself to helping women worldwide overcome their food addiction and obsession and get their confidence back so that they can authentically shine their light. She navigated her own path to freedom from food and drug addiction, codependency, severe anxiety, and self-doubt. Today, she uses her signature Congruence Code™ system to help women break free and stay free from their addictions so they can feel lighter, speak confidently, and be comfortable in their own skin. In This Episode Who is Debbie Lichter? [0:10] What is inner guidance? [1:56] What do we do when we always assume that people know better than us? [5:57] How do we remove ourselves from the guilt, binging, and obsessing cycle? [13:13] What does it feel like to be on course and off course when it comes to listening to your intuition? [17:49] What does trusting yourself with food look like? [25:24] …and many more Quotes "As long as you're focused on the food, it's a surface strategy. It's not actually addressing what's driving you to food in the first place. And the pathway of freedom from food addiction, food obsession, binging, you know… the pathway is to be able to address what's driving you to the food in the first place." [15:12] "The actions and behaviors are like leaves of the tree and what's driving those are your attitudes, those are the branches of the tree. What's driving those branches are the limiting beliefs and the delusions that are driving that. And the root is the fear." [16:11] "What shows up on our plates is a direct reflection of what we are wrestling with internally." [22:14] "Freedom—where you only eat when you're hungry or you stop eating when you're full, where you feel intuitively guided by what to eat, where you can go to a social situation or a restaurant and be present with the people and not be stressing out about what you'll eat—this kind of freedom is absolutely possible for you." [31:04] "It starts with a willingness, a willingness to not know. A willingness to set aside everything you think you know about what you need, about how it is, about what you got. You know, just set it all aside and open yourself to consider, am I open to an entirely different approach?" [31:27] Resources Mentioned Food Addiction Self-Assessment Quiz PBT Podcasts Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz PBT Institute Membership Community Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness Trust Again Free Gift

Introspection is crucial for us to know who we really are. The ability to look within ourselves, explore our experiences, and get in touch with our feelings enables us to move forward in life. But what questions should you ask yourself? My name Dr. Debi Silber and welcome to another exciting episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi. Today, I will be discussing 4 revealing questions that you can ponder to get to the root of it all. In This Episode Understand the importance of introspection Discover what the 4 revealing questions are Learn how to apply these 4 questions in real life Transcription Hi there, Another Dose of Dr. Debi here. So I want to go over today something that I call the four questions. And these questions, get under the hood, if you're wondering why you're not doing something, saying something, feeling something, or something just isn't right. Sometimes, these questions are so helpful because they'll uncover what may be lurking in your subconscious or they, may be giving you an example of what you need to pay attention to but for some reason you're not. Why? It may cause a shakeup, it may cause a confrontation, it may cause change. And when I asked you the questions you'll see exactly what I mean. I wanted to bring this up today because I just had three conversations, one after the other after another with members within The PBT Institute and the topics that they were struggling with were all so different, but I used this same line of questioning. For one was about weight, one was about a business challenge, and the other was about a lack of motivation and inspiration and meaning in life. So that was kind of broad, the other were two very specific topics, but this line of questioning gets to the root of all of it. So the first question is: Am I numbing, avoiding or distracting? If so, how? The reason why I'm asking that question is because so often we use food, drugs, alcohol, work TV, keeping busy, reckless behavior to numb, avoid or distract ourselves from something painful to feel or face. What happens is, what used to make sense, just doesn't make sense anymore. What used to work, doesn't work as well as it used to. What we used to like, we don't like any more. We think we like change. We don't like change, because it's going to invite a whole bunch of changes in. Maybe more than just this one area too. So what we do is we use these things to keep that voice quiet. But, if you notice, the voice gets louder and louder so the stakes get bigger and bigger. So maybe it used to be eating a few cookies and now it takes all a whole sleeve of cookies. It takes a drink, now it takes two or three drinks. It used to take a TV show where you're numbing out in front of the TV and now you're binge watching an entire series. So ask yourself that question: Am I numbing, avoiding, distracting myself and if so, how? Call yourself on it. Do you walk into a room and put the TV on because you're trying to drown out the sounds of your own thoughts? Do you walk into the kitchen, you're not the least bit hungry, but you just find yourself eating? See what's going on right there. And with those three conversations that I had with our members, it was really insightful because they realized the actions they were doing, and this next question, really gets to the root of it. The second question: What am I pretending not to see? Am I pretending not to see there's trouble in my relationship? Am I pretending not to see that health issue that needs my attention? Am I pretending not to see that I hate my job? What am I pretending not to see? Sometimes we think it's the most obvious thing. But for example, in the case about the weight loss, it really had nothing to do with the idea that it's going to be hard to lose weight. It had everything to do with who it's going to affect when she loses that weight. So, "What am I pretending not to see?" in her case, "I'm pretending not to see that my weight loss is going to cause a whole cascade in this relationship that I'm going to have to deal with." You see? The third question: 3.What's life going to look like in five to 10 years if I do nothing? Play that all the way out. So, in the case of weight loss, when you play that out five to 10 years, where you keep eating the same way, what's going to happen? You won't feel well, you're not going to look the way you want to look, you're going to have all kinds of health challenges because there's just so much you can ask your body to do. And, in her case, it was really going to affect her business. She's in fashion, you just can't pull that off as easily. Not even that, no matter what business you're in, how are you showing up, if you're trying to hide and if you don't feel comfortable? If you don't feel good putting yourself out there? Let's look at the other member within The PBT Institute who had a business issue. If she does nothing, play that out five to 10 years, what's that going to look like?, She was feeling such deep injustice and suc

Betrayal can be devastatingly painful, and when you're a highly sensitive person, you can feel so much more than others. Sadly, people can—and will—judge you for that. How many times have you heard people telling you that you're letting your emotions get the better of you? That might be because you're more empathetic than most. That's not something you should be ashamed of. In fact, that's what makes you unique. In today's insightful episode of From Betrayal to Breakthrough, Linda Binns teaches us to embrace our uniqueness and continue thriving even in a non-inclusive world. About Guest/Topic Linda Binns is a breakthrough energy coach. As an introverted, intuitive, and highly sensitive person herself, she understands what it feels like to be different, and she is on a mission to help others know who they are and learn to love themselves. In This Episode Who is Linda Binns? [0:10] What does it mean to be highly sensitive? [2:04] How does an empath differ from a highly sensitive person? [5:53] Do highly sensitive people have a mental health problem? [7:09] If you're highly sensitive, can you still change?[14:12] What are the benefits of being highly sensitive? [15:29] What are some of the challenges for the highly sensitive empath who has been betrayed? [17:26] How do we know if we're highly sensitive? [21:10] …and many more Quotes "Being highly sensitive means you pick up on all these things, so you'd be aware that somebody is upset or something is going on. But being an empath, it is more like you absorb that energy kind of like a sponge, and so if you are not careful, it can become yours." [6:05] "So, when you have a disorder, it means, yes, you're highly sensitive but it's so overwhelming that you can't function. So just simply being highly sensitive, I think, is a trait. Like, you could be an introvert, extrovert, or type-A personality. It's really a trait. It doesn't become a disorder unless it's so intense that you can't function." [7:50] "I love being highly sensitive. I would not want to be any other way because I just—it enables you to tap into the advantages of it, the gifts of it because we see things, experience things, feel things that other people don't. And now I think, my gosh. I wouldn't want to be without that ability." [14:54] Resources Mentioned Linda Binns' Website The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz PBT Podcasts The PBT Institute Membership Community

Our thoughts quickly become our beliefs when we reinforce them with our feelings. In turn, these beliefs become our reality. They can affect us profoundly in so many ways and drive the things we do. You might be left wondering, is there a way to alter your perception? Can you possibly train your mind to think differently? The answer might surprise you. I'm Dr. Debi Silber, and welcome to another exciting episode of "A Dose of Dr. Debi." Today, we will be discussing how you can be intentional when making conclusions about yourself and your life. In This Episode Understand how you become what you think Find out what your beliefs are and how your environment shaped them Learn how you can rewire your beliefs and create new realities Transcription Hi there, Dr. Debi here with A Dose of Dr. Debi. So today I want to talk about beliefs and here's why. I had a conversation with one of our members in The PBT Institute just yesterday, and she was talking about having this great sense of unworthiness. It's been plaguing her whole life and she's in her 50s. For the last 50 something years, she's always felt unworthy, and she's wondering if she could ever change how she feels. The answer is absolutely 100%, yes you can. But first, we need to look at our beliefs. Here's the thing, your beliefs are no more than the repetition of an idea from someone you trust. Someone that you trusted (a parent, teacher, someone in a religious capacity) said something to you enough times, and it became your belief. You may have taken it on and kept repeating it to yourself when they stopped saying it. It doesn't make it good or bad. It doesn't make it right or wrong. It doesn't make it true, but it makes it yours. And once these beliefs are laid down, we don't question them. But what happens is, it doesn't start as a belief. It starts as a thought, and the meaning we give to something fuels it and can turn it into a belief that serves us or not. These beliefs are formed from something mild to something traumatic. I'm going to give you an example of something that could have been mild, but can be turned into something that can play you your whole life until you're aware of it. Let's say you're a little kid and you had some earth-shattering news to share with your mom. You race into the kitchen and she's on the phone, so she "shushes" you. For her, it didn't mean anything. But at that moment you could have made that to mean, "I don't matter." And then you know what you do? You take that thought, and then you feed it. You fuel it with some emotion, you put some feeling behind it. You keep thinking about it over and over — you add more feeling, more emotion, and your mind wants to prove you right. So when you've done that enough times, your mind thinks: "Oh I didn't realize you wanted to keep this going. No worries, I'll just stick this in your subconscious and keep it running as a subconscious program. You go about your business." Now we have between 60 to 80,000 thoughts a day. The majority of them are negative. If you have some version of, "I don't matter," or "I'm not worthy," running as a subconscious program throughout your day, can you see how that's going to show up? It shows up in what you do, in what you say, how you act, how you interact, how you react, what you wear, and what you eat and all of it. And what happens is the longer we do that, it becomes who we are. Then we will constantly find confirming evidence to support it. We have relationships that support it, we make decisions that support it and it becomes who we are. So what I wanted to give to you today was a way to see what's under the hood here. What are these subconscious beliefs and behaviors that may be holding you back? Because it's not what you consciously think; these are subconscious beliefs and behaviors that are driving every single thing you do. If you've ever seen a picture of an iceberg, only about 10% is above the surface, 90% is below. What's wrecking the ship, if you were to crash into it, it's not the 10% above, it's that 90% below. What's taking you off course from where you want to be is that 90% below. Here's something I want you to write down: I'm so… I can't… I'll never… When you have some time, free flow that and see what shows up. Whatever shows up, those are your limiting beliefs. Once you've done that, find the one that gives you the biggest emotional charge, like maybe you wrote, "I'm so lazy", or "I'll never get out of debt," whatever it is for you. The one that really gives you that charge, encircle it. So now you know that's the biggest one you want to work on. The next step would be this. Some people like affirmations, I kind of have a little bit of an issue with some of the affirmations that people are saying because here's what happens. If your mind can't grab hold of it, it will just kick it out. For example, there's a 300-pound woman, and she says, "I'm a lean, mean fighting machine," and then her mind is like "No you're not", and kicks t

Like betrayal, divorce can be a harrowing experience. It can cause emotional distress to victims and leave them feeling unworthy of love. Karen Millon knows this all too well, having gone through a divorce herself. In this new and inspiring episode of From Betrayal To Breakthrough, Karen shares how Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) treatment has helped her deal with her trauma and a deep-rooted need to feel loved. About Guest/Topic Karen Million is a successful entrepreneur with over 22 years of business experience. When her marriage of 13 years ended, she focused on grieving and healing. Karen underwent EMDR Treatment and she is on a mission to help others recover just like she did. She is the author of "An Amazing Divorce: What you can do for yourself, for each other and for the Children." In This Episode Who is Karen Millon? [0:12] Learn about the turning point in Karen's life that made her decide to end her unhappy marriage [3:04] Understand Karen's healing and grieving process [6:00] Find out all about Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) treatment [12:35] Understand the different types of trauma [13:16] …and many more. Quotes "When we lose someone, we go through the mourning period—the shiva. Whatever we go through, you honor the grieving process. You dress like you're sad. You cry your eyes out." [7:01] "It's really worth it. I mean, it's short-term pain for long-term gain. It starts for 4 hours, you're going through and revisiting that terrible memory or that deep sadness that you felt. But the glory and the healing and the feeling that you are worthy, the feeling that you are loveable, the things that you can do after is worth every penny and it's worth every tear and every heartache." [27:00] "This is not about blaming our parents or blaming our caregivers. You know, I truly believe that people do their best as bad as it could be, just given their situation. It's about taking ownership of you, of who you want to be, of how you want to live the rest of your life." [28:16] "By having bilateral stimulation, so either you tap your shoulders—they do it online now with Zoom—back and forth or there are machines they tap you in your legs back and forth, or a therapist might go like that to you, or you're writing in your journal. Somehow, that stimulation allows you to access that emotional part of your brain." [17:27] Resources Mentioned Karen Millon - Instagram Healin with Karen The Work - Byron Katie PBT Podcasts Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz PBT Institute Membership Community Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness Trust Again Free Gift

Trust is a crucial aspect of any relationship and having someone—such as a family member, loved one, or friend—shatter it can leave the victim completely heartbroken and devastated. But is there a way to heal from the pain? Can trust that has been broken be rebuilt? Is it possible for someone to get close to you and your heart again? I am Dr. Debi Silber and welcome to another insightful episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi. Today, we will be discussing how to regain confidence in yourself and others, and learn what it takes to feel safe, trust, and love again. In This Episode Understand what happens when trust is broken Discover the 4-step trust rebuilding process Find out how you can learn to trust again Transcription Hi there, Dr. Debi here, another Dose of Dr. Debi. So today I wanted to talk about trust, and if you have trust issues, I get it. The shattering of trust is so foundational. It rocks you to your core. It shatters your sense of safety and security. So if you're wondering why is this affecting you so much? Why is it hitting you so hard? That's why. The very person or the very people who gave you that sense of safety and security could be the very ones to shatter it and take it away. It's devastating, and it leaves us with trust issues until we heal them. What so often happens is, trust is shattered, and we're so uncomfortable with that feeling. We just want it to go away so we're like, "Forget it, I'll just trust that person again." And we wonder why it backfires and we wonder why we, we are struggling with this whole idea of trust. I have a four-step trust rebuilding process. Of course, in the book Trust Again, I go through it in much greater detail, but I wanted to share it with you because I think this could help get you started with trusting again. So, the trust rebuilding process is four levels. When trust is shattered. A few things happen. Obviously, we don't trust the person who was lying, deceiving, we don't trust them. But we don't trust ourselves either, because we think things like: "I'm a bright person why did I not see? How did I not know? How could this go on right under my nose?" We have all of these questions, and because trust is so foundational, it shatters the very foundation, so it has to be rebuilt from the foundation. So, the way to build trust with a rock-solid foundation, you would need to start by rebuilding that very foundation. To do that starts with something as simple as something that you are so sure about. Something that you could be so sure about is how we start rebuilding level 1. I'm talking about something as simple as "Will the sun rise?" And every morning you check, "Will the sun rise? I don't know. I don't believe it." You look up into the sky and sure enough, there it is. Maybe you still don't feel you can count on that so you check again. Sure enough, there it is. And you see it. You do that enough times until you can feel really comfortable and confident in knowing that yes, the sun will rise. Now you have a foundation to stand on. From that space, you need to learn to trust in your wise inner guide, in your intuition, in your gut. What happens is, you get that gut feeling that something doesn't feel right, but your mind talks out of it. So we have to learn, again, to trust the gut. I had a mentor once who said that your gut is 10,000 times more perceptive than your mind. But we listen to the mind and it's like this unruly 10-year-old who is just making all kinds of demands, who doesn't know better, but because it's carrying on, we listen. Our intuition will never speak to us that way. It speaks in a soft, gentle way. You know when you get that feeling that knowing but we turn it down? We don't trust it, we don't listen, but we need to strengthen that again. So how do you do that? You want to get a sense of what trust feels like for you and it's different for everybody. So, choose something that feels like trust, and real, and truth to you. Maybe two babies laughing, a dog wagging his or her tail. What is it for you? What does that feel like? What does trust feel like for you? How does it feel in your body? Open, expansive, loving? Whatever it is, remember that feeling, because that's what trust feels like for you. On the other hand, what does a lack of trust feel like for you? What does deception, feel like for you? Get that felt sense where do you feel that in your body. Does it feel tight? Does it feel close, constricted? How does it feel? Think of D-Day (discovery day) or whatever it is for you where you felt that feeling of what a lack of trust feels like. How did it feel? That's what a lack of trust feels like for you. So now you know what trust feels like, and you know what a lack of trust feels like. So, when you're going about your day, and you're speaking with someone, which feeling are you getting? When someone is telling the truth, everything is aligned. The thoughts, behaviors, actions, the mannerisms, what they're saying, feeling, the energy bein

Betrayal can manifest itself through physical, mental, and emotional symptoms. When these symptoms manifest, it can feel like a dark cloud of negative emotion is hovering over you. One of the many ways to release negative feelings and lift your spirits is by incorporating essential oils into your daily life. Just ask Jodi Cohen. In this episode, Jodi shares the many uses and benefits of essential oils. She also delves into how this practice changed her life—from reducing her anxieties and finding relief from her physical ailments to rediscovering her passion for running and, finally, becoming more productive. About Guest/Topic Jodi Cohen is a bestselling author, an award-winning journalist, and the founder of Vibrant Blue Oils, an online resource for essential oils frequented by over 500,000 people yearly. Jodi managed to recover from her anxiety, insomnia, and autoimmune condition with the help of essential oils. Now, she's helping thousands of people rebalance their health through her proprietary blends of organic and wild-crafted essential oils. In This Episode Who is Jodi Cohen? [0:12] Understand what goes in the body when we are stressed [2:22] Realize how breathing can make a difference in our well-being [9:39] Determine effective ways to assimilate oils into the brain [12:40] Find out the importance of using pure essential oils [19:03] Discover what symptoms cleared up for Jodi by using essential oils [20:49] Learn about muscle testing [25:03] …and many more Quotes "When we are in a situation with betrayal or something going on that is triggering that danger response in our body, and so it shifts us physiologically into that sympathetic fight or flight state where you feel like you have limited options, your back is against the wall." [5:36] "I got five oils which was confusing cause normally I'll get like one or two and then it occurred to me that I can combine them and so I took each bottle and kinda muscle tested. Okay, 6 drops of this, 5 drops of this, and I put them together, and I put them in my lower back and my first thought was I can go running." [23:43] "We know that our body is communicating with us, but sometimes we just forget to listen to it. So, there is a way of asking your body often yes-no questions so you can get more clarity about what is kinda the primary issue." [25:34] "The greatest gift I gave myself was just because I don't understand something doesn't mean it is not true, and it always left me with curiosity." [29:44] "You can shift gears and you can make that so much easier for yourself. And by doing deep breathing, by trying to go to gratitude which sends different, you know, chemical signals in your body, by using essential oils, there are a lot of ways that you can shift gears and it's a really good first step." [30:31] Resources Mentioned Vibrant Blue Oils Boost The Brain The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz PBT Podcasts The PBT Institute Membership Community

Betrayal can bring such deep pain and lingering turmoil to someone who experiences it. The whole ordeal can be incredibly traumatic, affecting victims in more ways than one. The physical, mental, and emotional toll from betrayal can leave one exhausted and desperate for normalcy. I am Dr. Debi Silber, and welcome to A Dose of Dr. Debi. Today, I will delve into the life-altering mess of betrayal trauma. We will take the time to identify its possible manifestations, so you can better understand your healing journey. In This Episode A discussion on the collection of symptoms that is common to betrayal Findings from the Post Betrayal Syndrome quiz An overview on healing from betrayal Transcription Hi there, Dr. Debi here and welcome to A Dose of Dr. Debi. In the first episode, I talked about the three discoveries that were made in my study, which were about betrayal. The first was that healing from betrayal is very different than healing from other life crises like the death of a loved one, disease, natural disaster, so it needed its own name, which is now called Post Betrayal Transformation. The second discovery was that there's this collection of symptoms so common to betrayal it's known as Post Betrayal Syndrome. The third discovery was that while we can stay stuck forever if we're going to heal--if we're going to fully heal, we're going, (and go from that place of Post Betrayal Syndrome to that place of Post Betrayal Transformation), we're going to go through five proven predictable Stages. So I went through that, in the first episode. Last time I went through those five Stages so this way you can see exactly where you land. And hopefully, that was, inspirational, on some level because you understand that you're stuck, possibly, most likely in Stage three, which is the most common place to get stuck. But, now you realize, "Wow, there's a reason for it." And better news, there's a reason out of it. So today what I wanted to do is dive into the Post Betrayal Syndrome quiz, and this way, you'll see what's so common to betrayal. This way if you have these symptoms, you're going to realize, (as you'll hear me say over and over), you're not crazy, you're not alone and you can heal from all of it. So, just to back up a little bit, that with that other discovery of that there is this collection of symptoms (physical, mental, and emotional), so common to betrayal, it is known as now as Post Betrayal Syndrome. We've had over 18,000 people (at the time of this recording), take the Post Betrayal Syndrome quiz to see to what extent they're struggling, you can find that at https://thepbtinstitute.com/quiz/. But besides asking all these different symptoms, so people can really get a sense of where they're at and what's left in the wake of their experience, there's a question that reads; "Is there anything else you'd like to share? People write so many things. You know we've all heard "time heals all wounds" and I shared this last time. That's not true, not when it comes to betrayal. People are saying in the quiz how their betrayal happened 20 years ago, 30 years ago, 40 years ago, and they still feel it, they're still reeling from the effects of it, they're still feeling that anger, that frustration that—that heartbreak, that—that grief, that pain. So, betrayal is one of those types of crises that you can't just count on time to help you. Time can soften it a bit, but we truly and heal fully heal when we "face it, feel it, heal it" and that's all we do within the PBT Institute community (https://thepbtinstitute.com) which I'll share with you another time. For now, what I wanted to do was share with you some of the symptoms. Every few months, I pull the stats from the quiz, just to see what's happening there. So I want to read them—some of them to you, so you can really see what goes on after an experience with betrayal of a family member, partner, friend, coworker, self. Okay, so see if you have any of these symptoms, and this is, this is out of 18,000 people. 78% constantly revisit their experience. Think about how exhausting that is to go over and over and over and over and over it again. We need to do this in the beginning and that's called rumination. You want to make sense out of it, but at some point, you go from ruminating to marinating, you don't want to stay in there way too long. You know you're in there too long if you've gone over it endlessly coming out of it, no better than the 100,000 times you've gone over it already. 81% feel a loss of personal power. 80% are hyper-vigilant. That means your nervous system is always on edge you're checking phones, etc., you're constantly looking, searching, you never feel comfortable, never feeling safe. 94% deal with painful triggers, and I know how those can take you down because that was the experience with me, as well as so many people that have moved through betrayal and you can—you can heal from those triggers. 64% say they struggle emotionally, I want to read you so

Many victims of betrayal fall into the trap of codependency, which can lead to people-pleasing, anxiety, illness, and unhealthy relationships. How do we escape this pit of despair? Ande Anderson knows the way. In this episode, Ande Anderson explores the link between childhood trauma and codependency and delves deep into how we can bounce back, learn self-love, and foster loving relationships. About Guest/Topic Ande Anderson, MS, RD is the co-owner of Avaiya University, with her partner Ike Allen. They have created over a thousand transformational books, films, seminars, and other resources on codependency, childhood trauma, abandonment, betrayal, depression, and loneliness. Ande is passionate about helping others heal from their past traumas, so they can discover self-love, cultivate healthy relationships, and ultimately, live extraordinary lives. In This Episode Discover where codependency begins Recognize codependency and how it manifests itself Learn how we are affected by co-dependency and where it leads to Find out what we can do about it Quotes "Fear is the beginning of so many dysfunctional behaviors, whether it is co-dependency or addiction, betrayal, or what have you. Fear underlies so many things that aren't ideal in our lives. And I think a lot of these fears go back to your childhood." [08:09] "Controlling is one of the core characteristics of codependency because once again we don't want to be abandoned. We don't want people to leave. We want to feel good enough. We want to get that validation, so we try to control others to get these needs met." [16:09] "Maybe you've been driving in the road for a few minutes and you're having these catastrophic thoughts, but when you become aware of it, ask yourself, 'Am I in reality right now or am I in La-la Land? Am I in my imagination? Where am I right now?' Just simple. Catch yourself. In those moments, try to re-presence yourself to what's happening." [20:54] "Develop a relationship with yourself. Start talking to yourself. Communicate through words. You can even say it out loud if you want to, "You know what Ande, I got it. I get right now that you are just terrified of being abandoned and you know what, I understand. I know why you feel that way. And it's okay. It's okay to feel bad." Always validating and saying "It's okay and I want you to know you are not alone. I'm not gonna abandon you." [24:46] "Anything that makes us more compassionate to ourselves and be a loving parent to ourselves is where all the gold is." [25:50] "Just get that even if right now this conversation is uncomfortable, this conversation is bringing up those fears of abandonment and not being good enough, and you're really becoming aware of tough things, I just want you to know that your new normal will change. You have the opportunity to change it to something amazing." [29:34] Resources Mentioned Ande Anderson's Website PBT Podcasts The PBT Institute Membership CommunityThe Post Betrayal Syndrome quiz

The pain of betrayal is so heart-wrenching that we are often left dazed and confused as to how to work through all the hurt and move forward. You may find yourself wondering—am I moving in the right direction to get past the trauma that I've experienced or am I stuck and will this treachery always leave me vulnerable? Dealing with this internal turmoil comes with many challenges. And to rise above it entails knowing where we stand and what is in store for us. I am Dr. Debi Silber, and welcome to A Dose of Dr. Debi. Today, I am incredibly pleased to share a road map that can significantly help in your learning and healing journey. In This Episode A brief recollection of the discoveries I made when studying betrayal A discussion on the proven stages of betrayal trauma and recovery A look into what happens physically, mentally, and emotionally at these stages Transcription Hi there, welcome to another Dose of Dr. Debi I'm Debi Silber. So, in the last episode, I was talking about the three discoveries that were made in my Ph.D. study. One was that healing from betrayal is very different than healing from other life crises like the death of a loved one, disease, natural disaster, so it needed its own name, which is now called Post Betrayal Transformation. Why is it different? It's different because betrayal feels so intentional, we take it so personally so the entire self has to be rebuilt; rejection, abandonment, belonging, confidence, worthiness, and trust all need to be rebuilt. When they are, you are in a complete and total state that is different from where you were before, and that state is called Post Betrayal Transformation. The second discovery was that there's this collection of symptoms (physical, mental and emotional), so common to betrayal is known as Post Betrayal Syndrome. We have that quiz on the site https://thepbtinstitute.com/quiz/ to see to what extent people are struggling. We've had over 18,000 people take it at this point and it's staggering to see the symptoms left in the wake of this type of experience, but you can heal from all of it. If you're interested in that quiz you can find it at: https://thepbtinstitute.com/quiz/ . The third discovery, and that's what I want to talk about today, is that while we can stay stuck (and so many of us do), for years, decades, even a lifetime, if we're going to fully heal, (we're going to, going from that place of Post Betrayal Syndrome to that place of Post Betrayal Transformation), we're going to go through five now proven predictable stages. What's really exciting about that is, we know what happens physically, mentally, emotionally at every one of those stages, and we know what it takes to move from one stage to the next. What makes that so great because now healing is predictable there's a roadmap. What I'd like to do today is go through those five stages, And what I invite you to do is see where you land. Now before I go into that though, I want to just talk about how betrayal has so many faces. So, here are a few. So a very common one is infidelity, right. And when I talk about betrayal, it's really the breaking of a spoken or unspoken rule. Every relationship has them. So in a marriage, the rule is that we're going to be faithful to one another, and when that's not the case, that's a betrayal. It could be your coworker taking credit for your idea. The rule was you were going to present something, let's say to the boss together, they go ahead on their own and do it. Well, that's a betrayal. It could be that you and your best friend have an unspoken rule; "Your secret's safe with me." And then all of a sudden, they tell your secret and they break that that sacred trust. The way it works is, the more we trust, and the more we depend on that person, the deeper the betrayal. So for example, a child who's completely dependent on that parent and the parent does something awful, that's going to have a deeper and bigger impact than let's say your coworker taking credit for your idea. Not to say that that doesn't hurt you, but the different magnitude and level of cleanup, that's needed after something like that. So I want to go through the five stages and pay attention to see which Stage you're in. Now, this is what's so interesting because you may be saying; "Well my betrayal happened, years ago," watch how even though it happened years ago, most likely, you're stuck in the most common Stage, which is Stage three. And here's the thing too. These don't necessarily have to be the gigantic betrayals, it could be what we call "death by 1000 cuts". It could be the; "Oh it's no big deal, betrayal," oh, yes it is. It's a big deal to you, so just pay attention to where you land. So the first stage is like a setup stage and if you can imagine four legs of a table, the four legs being physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, what I saw with every single study participant, me too, was a real heavy lean on two legs and neglecting the other so which legs were tho

We all strive for perfection, but in the process, we fall into the trap of being overly critical of ourselves. This can significantly affect the way we look at ourselves and others. In this episode, Kerry Tepedino relates to feelings of not being good enough, having experienced them herself. She also talks about the defining moment in her life that helped her overcome her battle with an eating disorder and having low self-esteem. Finally, she shares insights on how we, too, can make lasting changes in our health and happiness. About Guest/Topic Kerry Tepedino is the CEO and Founder of the One Thought Away Project and a world-renowned personal development coach for women. While battling her insecurities and lack of self-confidence, she delved into personal development, leadership, holistic health, nutrition, Ayurveda, yoga, meditation, and breathwork. With the Sacred Self System she devised, Kerry managed to turn her life around and help thousands of people across the globe by teaching mindset mastery, emotional intelligence, and self-love. Prepare to be inspired as she shares her wonderful journey to self-transformation and imparts her knowledge in creating a life of happiness rooted in love and appreciation for one's self. In This Episode Gain insights on how you can be intentional in transforming your life Understand how you can create a better relationship with yourself Learn how proper mentorship, community, and strategies can help with your personal development Discover a method that will enable you to stop criticizing yourself Be able to recognize your self-transformation success Quotes "The first step is really to get the right people around you that are going to hold you higher, that will help support your stay at the higher vibe of conversations like 'What are you focused on?'" [01:20] "Slow down enough to get intimate with yourself, to ask the bigger questions like 'Who do I want to be as a woman I respect in the world?' For you and me, maybe there are some men here as well… 'What do I want my life to look like? And am I willing to do what it takes to make it happen?'" [9:42] "The wheel has already been invented and so it's really about finding who do you resonate with. Who has been in the journey that you are on and are at least two steps ahead of you and they can give you their solutions, I say, on a silver platter? And what you gotta do is you got to run with that, and run with those strategies." [13:00] "I was my greatest teacher. My pain was my greatest teacher." [15:04] "It doesn't matter how deep the hole you dug yourself right now, how old you are, young you are, or overweight or skinny, rich or poor. Wherever you are at is perfect for this conversation. Wherever you're at, you did not miss the boat. That's what I would like you to know. You didn't miss that boat of healing." [26:26] "Miracles do not happen to the lucky. It happens to those with a clear vision, who are committed to making this vision happen." [34:22] Resources Mentioned The Women's Total Transformational Summit PBT Podcasts The PBT Institute Membership Community

There's just something about betrayal that cuts extra deep. Most of the time, we get caught up in the trauma too much that we're left wondering what happens next. Is there a way out of it? Is this something that we should just learn to accept and live with? Why do the effects of betrayal seem to stay with us even after a significant amount of time has passed? I am Dr. Debi Silber, and I am excited to take you on this new weekly journey of healing and learning called A Dose of Dr. Debi. In This Episode A brief recollection of my experiences with betrayals An overview of the three discoveries I made when studying betrayal A brief introduction on what to expect from A Dose of Dr. Debi Transcription Welcome to a whole brand new series we're calling this A Dose of Dr. Debi. I'm Dr. Debi Silber and what I'm going to be doing is share with you, every Friday, tips, tools, strategies and solutions to help you heal physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually from the trauma of betrayal from a family member, partner, friend, co-worker, self. Now you may be saying, Why am I sharing this, and how am I an expert in this. Well I'll tell you nobody studies betrayal that I know of, because they just liked the topic, you kind of need to, and that was the case with me. This is my 30th year in business and I've been a health, mindset, personal development speaker, author, mentor, coach for years, and it was only because of my own betrayals; first from my family, and then years later from my husband, that everything changed. And if you've been betrayed by someone close to you, you know how painful it is. This was the person, or these were the people who gave you a sense of safety and security. So, when this is the person, or these are the people to shatter that sense of safety and security, it's devastating. And that was the case with me. So when it came to the betrayal of my husband, I got him out of the house, and I was like okay I have four kids, six dogs, a thriving business. What am I going to do, and I looked at those two experiences and I said you know what's common to those two experiences? I realized I never took my own needs seriously, and boundaries were always getting crossed. I said, now it's my turn. I have no idea how I'm going to do this, but it's time. And I enrolled in a PhD program in transpersonal psychology, (the psychology of transformation in human potential) because I was changing and I didn't quite understand what was happening. He was changing on his own too but I wasn't ready to look at that. I was so interested in this type of study, I was so desperate to understand how the mind work. Why do people do these things, and most importantly, how can I heal from this? While I was there I did a study. I studied betrayal; what holds us back, what helps us heal, and what happens to us (physically, mentally and emotionally) when the people closest to us lie, cheat and deceive. Well, I had no idea at the time, but that study led to three groundbreaking discoveries. I'm going to go over them, just briefly, and in the coming episodes I'll dive into them much deeper along with solutions and tips and strategies to heal. So the first discovery was, originally I was setting something called Posttraumatic growth -betrayal and posttraumatic growth. Posttraumatic growth is- if you can imagine kind of an upside of trauma, how that trauma, regardless of what it is (death of a loved one, disease, natural disaster, etc.) how it leaves you with a new insight, perspective, or awareness that you didn't have beforehand. Like maybe you realize when you lose someone you love, life is short, or the little things matter, things like that. And I was like, well, I've been through death of a loved one and I've been through disease, but this is different, betrayal is different. I didn't want to assume that was the same for everyone, so I asked all my study participants and I said: "If you've been through other traumas besides betrayal does it feel different for you?" Hands down unanimously they said: "Oh my gosh it's so different!" Here's why. Let's say you lose a loved one. You grieve, you're sad, you mourn the loss, life will never be the same, but you don't necessarily take it personally. Betrayal feels personal. It feels so intentional, so we take it so personally. So the whole self has to be rebuilt. Belonging, confidence, worthiness, trust, rejection, abandonment are all huge topics that all have to be rebuilt. We have to rebuild the self. So, this type of healing needed its own name, so I coined a new term Post Betrayal Transformation and that is the complete and total rebuild of you after a traumatic experience with betrayal. So that was the first discovery. The second one was, while we can stay stuck for years, decades, a lifetime (and so many of us do), if we're going to fully heal, (I'll talk about how to know when we're fully healed, in another episode), if we are to fully heal, we will move through 5

Life is like a game, it's a game where many curveballs are thrown our way. As with all games, you can't win all the time. And once we lose, it's often because of abuse or betrayal. Some people turn to drugs or alcohol to cope with these traumatic experiences, while others shut themselves in. Jason Leenaarts knows this well, his traumatic childhood experiences have led him to make several bad decisions in the past. But his story is far from sad. Instead, it speaks of triumph and is a testament to the fact that there will always be a way out of any dark tunnel. About Guest/Topic You may know Jason Leenaarts as the owner of Revolution Fitness and Therapy in Ohio. Jason is a man who turned trauma into strength. But not many people are aware of the long journey he took towards self-healing and discovery. During a downward spiral, Jason relied on various prescription drugs to cope with the pain of his past trauma. He realized, in hindsight, that these treated his symptoms but never the root cause, which eventually opened the door to substance abuse. After years of struggling and countless visits to many psychiatrists, Jason was finally able to regain control over his life and develop a deeper connection with himself. In this episode, Jason shares his story of trauma and transformation to inspire and help people in the same boat. If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please seek help from your nearest medical professional. In This Episode Understand the different stages of betrayal and trauma Recognize what 'rock bottom' is and how to rise above it Learn about the ways that people cope with abuse, betrayal, and trauma Find out why you need to tackle the root cause of your trauma to truly heal Discover the journey towards self-healing and discovery Quotes "Here I was finishing up high school, about to go on to college, was gonna be independent like all college kids very much wish to be when they finally wanna get out of their parents' home. And it just started this domino effect of bad things that happened and you don't really know how to stop that downward spiral of 'I don't have a lot of self-worth' and 'I don't really like how things are happening in my life' and 'I don't really know how to cope with these things.'" [3:26] "When you've got trauma in your life, all of a sudden, you look at things differently in your life." [7:55] "Life's not going the way that I want. So, it must be because I'm not worthy of good things. And you tell yourself that story regardless of how untrue it actually is … Once we start that domino effect, it goes nowhere good. And it's hard to get yourself out of that." [18:26] "At the time, I was still in so much denial that I actually have a drug problem. The drugs were a daily thing. I didn't think that drugs were something that were taking over my life." [20:33] "The bad things that were happening were happening because I was not in control of the things that I should have been in control of." [22:31] "You know how certain things go in your relationship over time where it's like 'wow, some problems don't go away when you get married.' And so, you start to grab all of those things in, and they become the things that get swept under the rug. And you know, I think everyone knows what that's like when you finally lift up the rug, and go 'oh, there's that mess I made'" [26:41] "Just because you solve certain problems in your life doesn't mean that they're all solved." [29:42] Resources Mentioned Jason Leenaarts' website Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz PBT Institute PBT Institute Membership Community

Betrayal can cloud our judgment and make us feel isolated and alone. It feels as though the world is crumbling away beneath our feet. You may think that there is no way out of this deep hole, but the truth is, there is so much you can do to get past this situation. How? You need to find a way to break away from multiple betrayals. Otherwise, you end up trapped in a vicious cycle. Wendy Rose Williams, a past life adventure guide, is dedicated to helping people release energy that no longer serves them so they can live happier and healthier lives filled with purpose. About Guest/Topic Wendy Rose Williams experienced multiple betrayals in the past. After discovering her first boyfriend cheating on her with one of her closest relatives, she lost her confidence and self-worth. The double betrayal affected her deeply and left her devastated. While caught in a web of lies and deception, she made a resolute decision to leave her toxic relationship behind. This empowered her to love and understand herself better, set healthy boundaries, and enjoy life more deeply. In this episode, Wendy shares her life experiences with us so that we, too, can learn how to overcome multiple betrayals. In This Episode Understand betrayal and its effects Recognize when to establish healthy boundaries Accept betrayals as lessons meant to be learned Learn the 5 love languages by Gary Chapman Discover why you are the only person who can complete yourself Find out how love and relationships should be Quotes "I just felt very alone. I felt ashamed. I felt embarrassed. I felt not enough. I felt crazy at times because I really knew that the affair was continuing yet they both were at the point of denying it." [6:19] "The physical symptoms (of betrayal) were just feeling a kick in the gut." [7:26] "I really feel it was meant to teach me to have much better boundaries and it took me a couple more relationships to learn that fully. But to put me first and to just really love and respect myself because that was not being exhibited by my behaviors staying in those relationships." [13:31] "I learned I cannot be in a relationship with someone where there is not excellent communication." [16:58] "If you're gonna have that perfect storm, it's the perfect place to get out of that victim or martyr or depressed place that we can get into. And just get out of that 'why is this happening to me' and shifting it to 'why is this happening for me'." [20:40] "Jerry McGuire had it dead wrong. You do not complete me. There is no one that completes me." [22:04] "Do not give your heart away. Love yourself first. Take care of yourself first." [32:28] "I think we need to change our culture to learn that we're meant to rise in love, not fall in love. Because there's something about that concept of falling in love implies giving away your power. And I think that's really the issue." [36:49] Resources Mentioned Gary Chapman's 5 Love Language Book Wendy Rose William's Website Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz PBT Institute PBT Institute Membership Community

Going through menopause can be extremely overwhelming and stressful for women. Aside from marking the end of their fertility, it gives rise to a series of hormonal imbalances that lead to various physical and emotional changes. What exactly are the common hormones affected in the process? What role do they play in the changes that women experience during menopause? Finding the answers to these questions is one thing, but it's important for us women to accept the changes that we are going through. And that is what Dr. Debra Muth does. About Guest/Topic Dr. Debra Muth is a Naturopathic practitioner and the owner of Serenity Health Care Center. As an advocate for women's health, she founded Phoenix Factor—a health optimization program for high-functioning female executives. Dr. Debra aims to empower more women by providing organic ways of dealing with menopause. She is currently hosting a natural health and wellness podcast called Let's Talk Wellness. In this episode, Dr. Debra Muth discusses how women can navigate menopause and midlife with optimism. In This Episode Identify the correlation between menopause and women's inner triggers Recognize the effects of menopause on a woman's sex drive Identify the common hormones affected by menopause Identify the symptoms of Perimenopause Achieve the proper outlook for menopause Discover natural ways to balance your hormones Quotes "As I moved into menopause, and my body started changing, and it didn't operate the way it used to ... out come all of these feelings of insecurity and inferiority again." [3:52] "If we thought it was bad as a teenager, menopause is just another enlightened moment for us. And so, we start to have more problems with focus and concentration and sexual desire goes away, energy changes, and our sleep patterns are bad." [7:25] "There's something about menopause that's a timestamp of 'here's a new chapter', and your body is letting you know." [9:54] "80% of the time, if your diet's really clean, you will not experience as many hot flashes or as many complications as women who have that typical American diet." [15:38] "You want to try to get as many foods as you can organically." [17:43] "Surround yourself with people that lift you up. Get rid of the people that have been bringing you down for the last 50 years that you haven't got the guts to get rid of. Unfriend them." [19:30] "Your life's not half over––it's just half beginning because now you get to spend the next half of your life." [21:03] "Getting back in tune with who you are and what you want to be is huge. And then, just pay attention to your body. Listen to your body." [25:36] Resources Mentioned Debra Muth's Phoenix Factor Website Debra Muth's Serenity Health Care Center Website Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz PBT Institute PBT Institute Membership Community

Domestic abuse is traumatic for anyone, especially when the person is unaware that they were being abused. Many people often use the violation of physical safety as the primary measure of domestic abuse. However, Anne Blythe believes that the violation of emotional safety is the most important measure. And being able to identify emotional and psychological abuse is the first step towards healing. About Guest/Topic Anne Blythe is the producer and host of the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Podcast and founder of Betrayal Trauma Recovery—a daily online support group for women who are the victims of emotional abuse. She sheds light on topics such as gaslighting and other forms of emotional and psychological abuse. Anne's goal is to help women identify the emotional and psychological abuse situations before a physical event happens. Her organization helps women who are victims of male perpetrators and give them immediate safety. In this episode, Anne Blythe debunks three myths about domestic abuse and shares ways to immediately recover from such trauma. In This Episode Discover why emotional safety should be used to gauge domestic abuse Understand the healing process to recover from emotional and physical abuse Learn how to talk to abuse victims in the right approach Identify when gaslighting occurs Learn how to deal with domestic abuse Debunk 3 domestic abuse myths Quotes "I don't believe a physical violent episode can just take place in a vacuum unless it's someone that you don't know that's just like randomly in the street. But if it's someone that you have a relationship with, there have been elements of emotional and psychological abuse that precede that physical event." [02:25] "Betrayal can happen on both sides in men and women." [06:08] "(Gaslighting is) when someone is trying to hide something, decides to alter your reality so that you live in an alternate reality with them and because you're living in this alternate reality with them, you can't see the signs of what's really happening." [09:57] "(Abuse is) never a communication issue. I have met some of the most amazing women who communicate so well and they're not able to communicate their way out of abuse." [17:24] "Why don't women get out of abusive relationships? I think the number one answer is they don't know that they're in one." [20:37] "You're not going to be ever emotionally safe with someone who's lying to you, with someone who's willing to manipulate you, with someone who is more concerned with their secret behaviors than they are about your feelings. You're never going to be safe with someone who is willing to violate your sacred trust of things you genuinely care about." [26:17] "Abuse is something that is bigger than any of us. It is a societal problem, and in many cases, it's a misogynistic problem. It's a problem perpetuated by rape culture, pornography, and all types of different societal scripting and religious scripting." [30:35] Resources Mentioned Anne Blythe's website Anne Blythe's books Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz PBT Institute PBT Institute Membership Community

Turning self-pity into success means finally recognizing your voice—the voice that has remained hidden and afraid to be heard. Over-internalizing one's emotions can become destructive. So, to protect your mental health, you need to remove yourself from the negative situation you are in. Janet Autherine is here to show you how. About Guest / Topic Janet Autherine is the author of Island Mindfulness Path to Transformation and the CEO of Autherine Publishing. She emigrated from Jamaica as a teenager and she now empowers overwhelmed, high-achieving women to create balanced, peaceful, successful, and abundant lives. In this episode, Janet discusses how we can turn self-pity into success and how to transform into a happier version of ourselves. In This Episode How to become the happy version of yourself Free your mind from negativity Discover your voice The effects of negativity Mindfulness—how to avoid being distracted Quotes "Negativity, in general, becomes negative emotions and negative emotions become hurtful and cancerous to the body and it pours out to everything that you do." [15:44] "Whenever I'm in pain, I used to spend a lot of time blaming myself." [22:00] "Most of the time when someone hurts, it's not really about you. It's about them projecting what's going on with them on you." [23:24] "I don't ignore the pain. I don't ignore the hurt. It has a place. I just try to be responsible when it comes to it." [24:35] "I just try to be present for every part of my journey. I try to make everything simple and clear." [28:56] Resources Mentioned Janet Autherine's website The PBT Institute Membership Community The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

Being in a toxic relationship is like swimming in an ocean with an anchor tied to your feet that is slowly pulling you down and drowning you—without you even noticing it. Only when we completely remove ourselves from that situation can we achieve freedom and peace. But identifying whether a relationship is toxic or not can be tough, especially if you're being manipulated or gaslighted. Luckily, Denise Kavaliauskas is here to help you go from toxic love to true love. About Guest/Topic Denise Kavaliauskas is an international best-selling author who wrote Empower the Women Within, Stepping Into Total Freedom. She is also a transformational love coach and speaker who inspires women to walk away from destructive partners just as she did. Denise uses the lessons she learned from her own experience to empower women to bounce back from emotional abuse and focus on themselves. In this episode, Denise shares her take on how to detach yourself from a toxic partner and start your journey to self-care. In This Episode: Recognize a toxic relationship and its signs Understand manipulation and gaslighting Protect yourself from a destructive partner Discover a path towards self-care Quotes "The best way to know is inside of you, you know something is not right. You're not happy. Your needs are not being met." [2:38] "Have ultimate kindness and patience for yourself." [13:45] "Do the things for yourself that you deserve to have… Self-care is extremely important after you've been through [a toxic] relationship." [15:00] "Pay attention to the conversation that you're having with yourself. Be more loving, more kind, more patient with yourself. What you've been through was a horrible experience and that you deserve this love, you deserve this kindness, you deserve this patience with yourself. Everything begins and ends with you. So if you start there you'll see how that will come out, you'll see that in your external world." [27:59] Resources Mentioned Denise's Old Website Denise's New Website The PBT Institute Membership Community The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

Self-betrayal can take many forms. It can be denying your own needs and desires. It can be allowing a person to do something that harms you just to avoid being abandoned. Regardless of the form that it takes, self-betrayal will severely damage your self-worth. In this episode, Lisa Latimer takes a deeper look at self-awareness and how it can prevent self-betrayal. About Guest/Topic Lisa Latimer is a results strategist who managed to self-heal from her crippling insecurities and fear of failure that over a decade of toxic relationships left her with. She now helps women fearlessly create fulfillment in their lives by increasing their self-awareness. Lisa knows how important it is to get in touch with your core in order to become unshakeable in the face of any and all challenges. In This Episode Take a deeper look at self-awareness Understand the connection between betrayal and self-betrayal Recognize how betrayal shows up in your life Discover how self-awareness can help you heal from past trauma Quotes "When I talk about self-awareness, I mean getting to the core of who you really are, and that's minus all of the background noise, whether it's coming from friends, family, coworkers, social media. When you boil everything down, it comes down to you. Who are you at your core? What drives you? What are your motivations? What are your beliefs?" [01:20] "It's in keeping those promises to yourself that then starts to change the switch in your head and create a new pattern where you're not just so focused on this pattern of self-sabotage and self-betrayal because now you're starting to keep promises to yourself, even if they're just little promises." [07:30] "Something that I actually find quite empowering is 'reframing'. You can go back to a situation that perhaps you felt like a victim or you felt betrayed, and you can look at it from a new perspective all this time later and say, 'You know what? This person hurt me, this person lashed out at me. I was the strong one in this situation.' If you were cheated on, it was that person's weakness and lack of discipline or self-control, not yours." [09:42] "A lot of times we expect people or we expect a certain degree of treatment from others that we're not willing to do for ourselves. You have to do it for yourself first." [12:14] "You always have to go against your need and desire for confirmation bias. You always have to look for the things that can challenge what you think and what you hold as truth." [15:04] Resources Mentioned Lisa Latimer BPT Institute BPT Institute Membership Community

Childhood betrayal is a very sensitive topic that is rarely touched upon. For this episode, we'll be taking a deeper look into how children can experience betrayal through family conflicts like divorce and custody battles with the help of Tracy Poizner. Tracy is a parenting coach and the host of the Weekly Essential Stepmom Podcast. Through her personal experience as a parent, she helps families minimize trauma to their children by putting them as far away from the conflict as possible. About Guest/Topic Tracy Poizner has been through almost all stages of parenthood, including parental alienation, long-distance parenting, legal difficulties, mental health issues, total loss of contact, and full-time physical custody. It is her life's mission to help stepmoms like her minimize conflict, find peace, and achieve justice in the face of divorce and custody issues. She does this by sharing her experiences with those who are still navigating the rocky path of step-parenthood. This episode is for stepmoms who are finding it hard to overcome parental alienation from their step-children. Tracy shares her expertise and experience to help step-parents put the child's well-being first. In This Episode Learn the three different types of betrayal a child goes through during family conflicts—emotional blackmailing, brainwashing, and gaslighting Discover the two kinds of situations parents can look out for to help avoid parental alienation Learn how children should be kept away from marital conflicts, such as divorce and separation Understand how family conflicts can affect a child Understand how children can feel betrayed at court and how the court is the worst place to settle a family situation The difference between consensus and compromise Learn Tracy's 5 Cs framework about communicating to children in a non-verbal way—consistency, contact, cooperation, credibility, and consensus Quotes "I'm saddened to say that I think I've heard about 80% of kids from divorced households are experiencing some level of parental alienation." [2:58] "Parents forget that a child is created from half-mother and half-father. That's a biological reality. There's no way of getting around that." [4:26] "When you, even subtly, suggest that a child should reject some of their other parent, you are asking them to reject half of themselves, which they will gladly do because that's how we're wired." [4:47] "A child shouldn't ever be made to feel responsible for your feelings." [6:46] "A person can be a terrible spouse and still be a good parent." [8:45] "Gaslighting is betraying a sacred trust between a parent and a child that the child can only believe that the parent always has their best interests at heart. And where a parent would deliberately manufacture an appearance of reality to manipulate a child's deeply held belief system—that's really cruel and horrible." [13:14] "Courts are possibly the worst place to live out this kind of family situation… I think the whole setup is wrong. The whole setup is a pure adversarial terrain. It's not set up for any kind of consensus or compromise. It's just a decision, and usually, nobody is completely happy." [24:58] Resources Mentioned Tracy Poizner's email - [email protected] Tracy Poizner's website The PBT Institute Membership Community The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

There will come a time in a woman's life when she will be ready to start dating again after a failed relationship. But it may not come easy. Fortunately, Kate Houston is here to help you develop your confidence and identify the factors you need to address to take your dating life to the next level. Kate is no stranger to dating, having experienced the highs and lows of being in different relationships. She learned from all of her past experiences and now uses this knowledge about dating to help ambitious, career-driven women translate that same level of success into their love lives. About Guest/Topic Kate Houston usually works with women who are ambitious and successful yet anxious when it comes to love. Most of the women she's helped are those who have experienced roller-coaster relationships in the past and are finally ready to tap into the power within themselves and have the relationship they've always desired. Kate hopes to empower all women to create loving relationships. She does this by helping them develop the self-reassurance and self-confidence they'll need to attract the men that they deserve. In this episode, Kate shares important dating advice that she believes all women should hear. In This Episode Identify when you're ready to start dating after a breakup Learn how to develop a self-reassuring attitude Set proper standards and boundaries for yourself while dating Learn how all women should present themselves when trying to attract men Quotes "Truly, [love is] a journey to better ourselves and to evolve with another human being as our mirror. " [3:18] "Be careful with your language. Words create our reality." [5:47] "Ghosting seriously is a validation for 'I'm not worthy.'" [7:35] "Standards are about what you will and will not accept." [10:28] "Men fall in love with women by how women treat themselves, not how they treat their men." [12:21] "When you're meeting them at their worst or where they perceive as their worst or they're still in super healing, trying to figure things out, they're not going to be the right match for you because you're accepting them at that level. Plus, you don't know what that healing is going to be to see if it aligns with you yet." [22:01] Resources Mentioned Kate Houston's website Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz PBT Institute PBT Institute Membership Community

For a lot of people, the flaws they see in themselves are magnified and much more apparent than the flaws they see in others. These people obsess about all the negatives, no matter how small or big, that they see in themselves. How come? Why is it easier to give love, kindness, respect, and care to other people but incredibly challenging to give it to yourself? Certified health coach Kirsi Bhasin debunks the myths about self-care and explains what self-care really is and how you can practice it easily. About Guest/Topic Kirsi Bhasin is a former corporate employee who became a certified health coach after collapsing from exhaustion. She describes this experience as a wake-up call that made her realize that what she was doing to herself wasn't working. From there, she decided to work on taking better care of herself. Kirsi is the author of 'Recharge: Find Joy, Boost Your Energy, Take Charge of Your Health'. She is also a health expert and a member of Dr. Oz's Sharecare community of top-ranking health experts. She was invited to become a contributor to HuffPost and Thrive Global by Arianna Huffington herself. She partners with a variety of organizations, from small startups to Fortune 100 companies like AIG and IBM, teaching their employees about self-care. In this episode, Kirsi shares the story of why she was driven to succeed, what caused it, and what she did to change her life. She also discusses ways to love oneself deeply. In This Episode Understand how you can show yourself that you matter and you need self-care Discover the true definition of slowing down Learn ways to show yourself love, respect, and kindness Find out the importance of cultivating patience Acknowledge that self-care is a challenging journey, and everyone's path is different. Quotes "[Self-care] is not just about pampering yourself and indulging in what you think is good for you." [03:38] "We try to cram in so much into our day, and just the beauty of it and the satisfaction of doing deep self-care is knowing that you can pull back sometimes and just be." [07:03] "Even a minute of being and taking that break, taking a pause and taking a nice deep breath and being with yourself. You don't have to validate yourself. You don't have to do anything. You are beautiful and perfect the way you are." [09:24] "Everyone's journey is going to be different. Mine is still an ongoing journey. This never ends, in my opinion." [13:10] Resources Mentioned Kirsi Bhasin's websiteThe Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz The PBT Institute Membership Community From Betrayal to Breakthrough

Wallowing in self-loathing is never a good thing. It stifles growth, prevents healing, and fosters negativity. Just ask Wendy Sterling. Wendy Sterling is a divorce recovery specialist, certified theta healing practitioner, podcaster, writer, author, and speaker. She is the founder of The Divorce Rehab™, where she helps women recover from the pain of divorce by finding their true identity and voice to design a life that they choose and love from a place of confidence. About Guest/Topic In this world, nothing is permanent. This is a fact that Wendy Sterling knows too well. After all, Wendy divorced her husband of 15 years. Studies show that an estimated 41% of all first marriages end in divorce and Wendy Sterling found herself just another number in this unfortunate statistic. After spending most of her adult life with the same person—her partner and the father of her kids—she realized that she barely recognizes herself without him. Here's the silver lining, Wendy eventually found herself during the process of healing. She was also able to realize her true purpose and that is to help other divorcees recover from the pain of separation. In this episode, we will take a closer look at how Wendy's experiences enabled her to find her true self and empower others in the process. In This Episode Understand the intricacies of divorce from someone who's experienced it Learn how to set proper boundaries in a relationship Identify when it's time to get a divorce Discover how you can bounce back and recover after a divorce Quotes "I was happily married for about 15 years and it was one of those situations where, you know, the universe kinda gut-punched me into believing that something felt off." [02:41] "I didn't know who I was without this man in my life. The reason being that it had occurred to me that I literally only saw me through his eyes. So, if he was happy, I was happy. If he was sad, I was sad, you know, and I was always the person, I was, the people please are right. It was what everybody else had wanted." [06:34] "You felt fear, but you were like, okay. I asked for the divorce. That was scary, but I survived and I'm okay. And now, and now here I am." [18:50] "We always grow. You know, when we, when we do something out of our comfort zone, you know, life begins out of our comfort. Beyond our comfort zone." [19:24] "The boundaries are intended to actually improve relationships and communication versus the opposite. Right. And I think that's why people are so afraid." [28:12] Resources Mentioned Wendy Sterling's website Wendy Sterling's Instagram Wendy Sterling's Pinterest Wendy Sterling's Facebook The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz The PBT Institute Membership Community

Have you ever asked yourself, "what is the meaning of life?" Everyone has a different answer to this. Professional researcher and advisor Nathanael Garrett Novosel is here to share his own take on this age-old philosophical query. Nathanael used the insights he discovered from his research to help business leaders solve organizational problems, create effective strategies, and succeed in all areas of life. He has made it his mission to help people live their best possible life. About Guest/Topic As a child, Nathanael Garrett Novosel experienced all manner of negative thoughts and emotions—worthlessness, loneliness, hopelessness, emptiness. Nathanael experienced abandonment at the early age of 5 when his father disappeared in the middle of the night. He might not have remembered the night it happened, but he clearly recalls the day his father tried to reach out to him six months after leaving him. He believed that when his father left, it was just a part of life. But that didn't stop him from feeling lonely whenever he thought about his father choosing another family over him and finding happiness elsewhere. After finding out that he was on the spectrum, Nathanael regarded himself as having a "robot brain." Interestingly enough, it was because of his diagnosis of Asperger's that he decided to try and find the meaning of life. And that was when he started to feed his curiosity through research. In this episode, Nathanael talks about the fundamental concepts he discovered during his search for the meaning of life. These eight concepts are growth, experience, desire, belief, emotion, ethics, support, and choice. In This Episode Discover how abandonment experienced in childhood can shape your decisions throughout life Understand how people with Asperger's communicate Discover the relationship between science and emotion Learn about the eight concepts that help define the meaning of life Discover how breaking down your emotions then changing one portion of it can help you control how you are feeling Quotes "I felt a hopelessness, an emptiness, a loneliness, a worthlessness, just a void that I would never wish on anyone." [2:26] "I just couldn't comprehend the pain and emptiness I was feeling when my father was ripped away from me again." [5:48] "The number one thing you'll hear from someone who as Asperger's is that they feel like an alien because they don't act in the same way that other people do, they don't process things the way that other people do, they look at things at a completely different way, and they don't seem to fit in ever." [8:17] "Emotions equal three things: desire plus belief plus experience. And that applies to everything." [21:11] "Now there are things in this world that you can't control and there are things you can. If you do the best you can to make the right choices and to improve what you can control, then that's what your destiny is." [30:22] Resources Mentioned Nathanael Garrett Novosel's website Nathanael's Facebook Page Nathanael's Twitter Nathanael's Instagram The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz The PBT Institute Membership Community

Anxiety and panic attacks can sometimes become so all-consuming that they take over your life. These can cause you to have nagging thoughts that stop you from being fully comfortable as yourself. Kim Strobel is a leadership consultant and happiness coach. She helps business owners, leaders, and high achievers prioritize their health and wellbeing so they can reach new heights in their professional and personal lives. Kim's real-talk approach offers a refreshing take that fosters authenticity and genuine connections. As a result, her clients find it easier to elicit true change. Even as a happiness coach, Kim is no stranger to trauma. Before becoming a happiness coach, she had to overcome a variety of challenges, adversities, and traumas. In fact, there are still days when she would find herself crying on the office floor, thinking that the world will end soon. How does she deal with these panic attacks? Let's find out. About Guest/Topic Even as a child, Kim Strobel was already demonstrating an intense enthusiasm for life. However, the drawback to such intensity was that she was also full of anxiety. When she was in high school, her anxiety peaked. She would suffer episode after episode of panic attacks, which she recounts were absolutely terrifying. This caused Kim to limit herself from the things that she loves just so she could feel safe. She ended up feeling like she couldn't function as a normal human being. After undergoing therapy to address her anxiety, she still found it hard to live the life she wanted. She was eventually able to come to grips with her reality by finally embracing all aspects of her unique self. In this episode, Kim shares how a person can embrace all sides of themselves in order to be aligned and at peace. In This Episode How you can take full responsibility for how you show yourself Learn the drastic effects of anxiety on a person Understand the differences between an anxiety attack and a panic attack Discover helpful literary works that will help you understand why you feel what you feel Learn why accepting that you need help will help you heal Learn how to embrace all sides of yourself Quotes "Anybody who is really joyful... It seems like it's because they have this deep perspective. Because if we haven't been through anything dark, how can we appreciate all that goodness?" [3:38] "Because nobody knew what was wrong with me, this was really years and years that I spent feeling completely flawed and completely betrayed by my own brain." [6:00] "Whatever you're paying attention to and focused on, it grows. Because I became hypersensitive to every little thing that was going on, it just sent my adrenaline into flight or flee mode easily." [10:40] "The more I understood what the symptoms were, that they were not dangerous but also why I felt the way I did, that really helped me to do the work that I needed to do for myself." [23:18] "I didn't wanna just use the band-aid of antidepressants and not get at the layers under me that were contributing to my issues." [23:42] "Here I am flying across the country, giving talks to thousands of people. And, I'm also struggling to drive to Walmart, which is 5 minutes away from my house." [29:02] "Isn't it amazing when you embrace all sides of you, you completely come into alignment? And that's when you are looking, feeling, living, and performing at your absolute best. And it becomes easier because you don't have to try to be anything else than all of the wonderful parts that make you, you. " [31:07] "Only 10% of your long-term happiness has to do with your external circumstances." [31:58] Resources Mentioned Kim Strobel's Podcast: She Finds Joy She Finds Joy Facebook Group The PBT Institute Membership Community The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

Do you ever hear a voice inside your head that keeps telling you, "you're not beautiful, not fit, and just not enough?" Negative self-talk is extremely destructive. And it affects you more than you know. This type of internal dialog places you in a self-sabotaging state where everything you do will never be enough for you to feel happy about yourself. Jennifer D'Amato loves to help women overcome and eliminate this negative self-talk and become intuitive leaders who own their self-worth and beauty. It is her goal to help women feel their best and break down old beliefs. About Guest/Topic Jennifer D'Amato is a certified health coach and life coach who likes to combine the two disciplines to help women. She also hosts a weekly podcast for women, where she blends real-life humor and authenticity to empower listeners in all areas of their lives. Jennifer developed a passion for helping women feel more confident about themselves. This passion stems from her own personal experiences, as she was once a prisoner of her own negative thoughts. Earlier in her life, Jennifer was unable to appreciate her body as none of the diets she tried seem to work. Due to her weight, she was called insulting names such as 'thunder thighs', causing her to starve herself and jump from one fad diet to another. Jennifer was able to break the cycle of self-sabotage and self-doubt and now she wants to help other women do the same. In this episode, Jennifer shares how to filter the negative voice in your head and listen to the positive, authentic inner voice that says, "yes, you are more than enough." In This Episode Discover the negative side effects of self-sabotaging thoughts Find out how negative thinking affects your perception about your body Identify the various kinds of negative self-talk Learn how childhood trauma and social media causes negative self-talk Understand the long process of changing your beliefs and honoring your body Quotes "The thoughts I was having were causing a lot of my health problems." [4:19] "I didn't realize that I was actually doing this whole self-sabotage. I was hurting myself by what I believed about my body." [5:16] "Instead of looking at it as deprivation of 'oh, I can't eat that cookie, I can't have that donut, I can't drink that glass of wine,' look at it as 'by doing that, I'm only depriving myself of feeling good in my own body.'" [8:05] "Every client I've met with believes that the voice they hear is their own… They believe that the inner critic is the one who's saying those things in their head actually is them. Most often, it's not. Most often, it comes from some rules that were told to them as kids." [10:07] "We live in a social media age. They're being bombarded, especially my younger clients, by images of what they think they should look like." [11:11] "There's no harm intended in saying, 'you need to clear your plate before you can get up from the table.' Except the harm comes when we're no longer honoring our body." [11:53] "Affirmations have the best of intentions. But if we're saying something that we feel is so not true, even though we want it, our mind kicks it out." [17:30] "Your mind believes whatever you tell it. Your mind gravitates towards that negative and hangs onto it. We can hear a hundred wonderful things, but that one negative—that's what we hang on." [22:24] "You are worthy. You are worthy of this work. You are worthy of waking up everyday feeling great about yourself, about the things that you do, about the things you choose not to do. You are absolutely worthy of having new thoughts." [26:17] Resources Mentioned Free Ebook How to Confront the Bully When the Bully is You: Overcoming Negative Self Talk Jennifer D'Amato's Facebook Page Jennifer D'Amato's Instagram Page The PBT Institute Membership Community The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

Like everyone else in this world, you've struggled in life. Some of these struggles may have been traumatic, and these left lasting scars. So how do you use those struggles as motivation? Let the Struggle Guru, Kirsten Beverley-Waters, show you how. About Guest/Topic Our guest for today, Kirsten Beverley-Waters, is a yoga teacher, fitness coach, and motivational speaker. She's here with us today to inspire us and show us how to use the low points in our lives to propel us to greater heights. In her book, Struggle Guru, Kirsten explains how our individual struggles help shape our biology and give breath to our individual superpowers. Learn more about this by listening to Episode 177 of FBTB! In This Episode You'll Learn About: Handling life's struggles Coping with life's uncertainties Healing ourselves through acceptance Understanding the journeys of the people Kirsten has worked with Quotes "My book helps us find the guru within ourselves to master our struggles." [2:13] "I've always had a very strong faith base." [5:10] "You are a manifestation of your thoughts." [10:49] "Often, we're just blindly moving forward without considering where we're going." [21:31] "So many of us live the exact same chapter over and over again." [23:28] "Ask yourself, 'what do I need today?'" [27:01] Resources Mentioned Kirsten Beverley-Waters' Website Kirsten Beverley-Waters' Instagram Kirsten Beverley-Waters' Twitter The PBT Institute Membership Community The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

Trauma has many faces and many sources. For some, it may stem from a childhood event. For others, it could have been caused by an unhealthy relationship. But one thing ties all forms of trauma together—healing from them requires a release. Releasing trauma is different for everyone. One way that has been found to be effective is dance movement therapy. Just ask Orit Krug. About Guest/Topic Orit Krug is a board-certified dance movement therapist who helps women get past trauma through dance therapy so they can enjoy healthy, lifelong relationships with their partners. No stranger to trauma herself, Orit experienced betrayal on a daily basis due to her tumultuous childhood. This eventually affected her romantic relationships as she grew older. Orit got into unhealthy, abusive relationships with emotionally-unavailable partners. After one of her partners left her, she understood that it was her negative attitude that pushed him away. She then resolved to deal with her long-standing trauma. And that's how she found dance movement therapy. Through dance movement therapy, Orit learned how to release her trauma in a healthy and productive way. Join Orit Krug as she discusses how organic, expressive, and creative movement helped her rewire her nervous system and enabled her to break unhealthy relationship patterns. In This Episode Learn about how childhood trauma can affect your future relationships Discover the relationship between trauma and movement Learn the power of movement when it comes to stirring up layers of trauma The difference in the approaches used in trauma therapy and dance movement therapy Learn how movement can mirror trauma responses Quotes "By the time I met my husband, I was like, wow. He was like an anomaly because he was the most gentle, sensitive, caring man I've been with, which was so different from any other relationship. It was such a shock to my nervous system and everything I knew that I was just sabotaging it day in and day out." [2:50] "Because all the men I grew up with, my family, were so explosive and unpredictable, I just couldn't believe that he was so calm and gentle. I just kept waiting until he would explode or until he showed his true colors. I just kept constantly testing that through different approaches. It was like an addiction to me to sabotage." [5:04] "Every movement that we do represents a different behavior, a different way we cope with the world." [08:23] "Even if you don't know, when we go through trauma and extremely stressful events, this thinking, talking higher executive functioning part of our brain goes offline. And the trauma, memories, feelings get stored in our body. They get stored as fragments. And the memories are actually sensations. " [11:52] "Because trauma is stored in the body, when we start to move our bodies in different ways and new ways, it's going to inevitably stir up this old trauma that's been stored there." [15:56] "Trauma stays trapped until it's released. And it's up to us to find the most helpful and healing ways to release it." [32:33] Resources Mentioned Wired for Love Free Course Orit Krug's website Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome QuizJoin the PBT Institute Membership Community

Now, more than ever, we need the right tools to help us become our optimal selves. Unfortunately, medication isn't always able to address the root of our mental health issues. Despite following everything our doctors prescribe, the negative feelings we're experiencing don't seem to go away. Either that or they eventually return. This doesn't mean that medication doesn't work. It's just that the inner healer in your body has yet to fully awaken. We all have a natural superpower to address underlying issues in our own bodies and minds, and unlocking this amazing ability sometimes needs a little push. Luckily, Jen Broyles is here to teach us everything we need to know about holistic healing. From practicing breathwork to using essential oils, Jen wants to share her first-hand experience in natural healing and how it has changed her life for the better. About Guest/Topic Like most of us, Jen Broyles is no stranger to stress, anxiety, and all manner of mental health issues. Despite having a successful career in pharmaceutical sales, she found the best form of treatment was the natural process of holistic healing. After discovering the amazing benefits of breathwork and essential oils, she made it her life's mission to help others restore and optimize their health by addressing the root cause of the symptoms. In today's episode, Jen shares how natural healing helped her address digestive issues, anxiety, and hormonal imbalances, problems that conventional medicine could not solve. She also discusses how combining holistic modalities can be a huge benefit to anyone looking to live a healthier lifestyle. In This Episode Discover the power of alternative and natural medicine Learn the type of diet that works best for you Why and how stress affects our overall health How breathwork can be healing and life-changing Quotes "I found myself in the world of natural health, trying to solve the health issues that I was experiencing." [2:11] "We can see betrayal in a number of different things, whether it's relationships or sometimes we feel like our bodies betray us. Sometimes, we feel like the health system has betrayed us or doctors have betrayed us." [5:04] "Trying to follow some of these diets was causing more stress because I wasn't allowing myself grace. I would get very rigid and very stressed out about it." [10:07] "Oftentimes, many of us are dealing with chronic stress in some form or another. And until we learn ways to reduce chronic stress, it's going to be difficult to heal our body." [11:33] "What deep rhythmic breathing is doing is bringing coherence to the body. It's creating a state of harmony, homeostasis. It's calming the nervous system. And it helps realign all the rhythms in your body." [18:37] "Breathwork isn't just breathing. It's a powerful way to create harmony, calm the nervous system, get yourself into a parasympathetic state, the rest and digest state versus the fight or flight state. It can create physical healing, emotional healing, increase creativity, insights, a deeper spiritual connection, and more." [30:25] Resources Mentioned Jen's Free Breathwork Meditation The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz The PBT Institute Membership Community