Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

From the Doctor's Desk today we unpack three studies relevant to parents and families. First, an intervention that could decrease the likelihood of developing a peanut allergy by 71% (N.B. we are not sharing medical advice!). The second study - another intervention involving a 2 week screen-free media reduction for participants, with fantastic results! And the third, a study looking at differences between neurotypical and neurodivergent responses to touch, and some helpful tips for parents of neurodivergent children when it comes to understanding and navigating these responses. In this episode: Peanut allergies The danger of becoming risk-adverse Screen Media Use and Mental Health of Children and Adolescents: A Secondary Analysis of a Randomized Clinical Trial | Media and Youth | JAMA Network Open A happier child in 2 weeks? Emotional dysregulation Parental responsibility with screens Follow-up to Adolescence after Early Peanut Introduction for Allergy Prevention | NEJM Evidence Why touch matters Sensory issues, autism Differences in neurodivergent vs neurotypical response to touch Consent Autonomic and hedonic response to affective touch in autism spectrum disorder - Capiotto - 2024 - Autism Research - Wiley Online Library Relevant Links: Tech giants are ANTI-kids Unplug Childhood - join the village today #1016 – From The Doctor’s Desk: Touch Good, Anger Bad Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together) Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletterSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A conversation with Adam Voigt, Founder and CEO of Real Schools on the importance of student engagement, how parents can support and advocate for teachers, and why we need to make schools a diverse environment - where all children can come together to learn. In this episode: Teacher stress Additional needs Supporting teachers Schools and parents working together Student engagement The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt | Penguin Books Too much tech in the classroom? Mobile phone bans Does going to a selective school make you more likely to go to uni, get a job and be satisfied in life? | The Conversation Selective schools Importance of diversity Parental guilt Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together) Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletterSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Amy from Melbourne has been trying to boost her families wellbeing, and while she's been doing all of the tried and traditional methods, she is wondering what the benefits of indoor plants are for her family. Jenny from West Australia is seeking some advice around grandparents looking after her three year old, despite some of their parenting styles being quite different to hers. Related links: Check out our recent From the Doctor's Desk episode - #1036 Screen Use Bad, Green Space Good What to Do When Parents and Grandparents Disagree [Article] Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together) Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletterSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

If you have a child with a natural talent or a burning desire to succeed in a sport or other activity, how do you cultivate a successful (perhaps even elite) level of performance and raise them to have perspective? Justin and Kylie offer four ideas to help your children be engaged in their athletic and competitive pursuits in healthy, balanced ways. In this episode: US Gymnast Alexandra Raismen - parent reaction Finding a healthy balance Professionalization of youth sports can lead to burnout | AAP Publications What is the purpose of sport? Physical, cognitive, social, emotional benefits Competence and mastery #1033 – Early Talent Promotion Motivation and losing perspective Unconditional love Related links: How To Keep Kids Motivated To Play Sport Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together) Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

There are times when a parent's relationship with their child feels strained and difficult. Kylie shares what it can look like to cultivate these challenging relationships, giving hope to any parent deep in the trenches of raising hard kids. More often than not, when we lose the plot as adults, it is because of unmet expectations. A games night in the Coulson household did NOT meet Justin's expectations, leading to one very grumpy dad! In this episode: I'll Do Better Tomorrow, I Promise - Maurine Reynolds Adamek 5 star reviews - thank you! Cultivating relationships No Matter What Hope for the parent who thinks they can't keep going Resilience Family games night turns sour Expectations vs reality Unmet needs Bedtime Even the parenting expert gets parenting wrong Be where your feet are Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together) Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Book Club - the episode where Justin and Kylie forget about the parenting stuff and share what they have been reading. Today, a book review from a very special guest: their 10-year-old daughter Emilie. In this episode: The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt | Penguin Books (4.5 stars) Unplug Childhood - Join the village! The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien | Abbeys (5 stars) James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl | Dymocks (4.7 stars) Related links: #980 The Anxious Generation With Jonathan Haidt The Screens Issue Unplugging Parenthood Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together) Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Building strong, lasting family relationships is a long-term process. When done well, regular family meetings can completely change how your family feels and functions now and in the future Justin and Kylie share six practical tips for family meetings that will help your family relationships flourish, ensuring that everyone feels seen, heard, and valued along the way. In this episode: Could family meetings help you get on better with your kids? Yes – but they can also go horribly wrong | The Conversation James Clear, author of Atomic Habits 5 year quote Not a time to air grievances or critique others Risk of family meetings Creating a vision Benefits when meeting is done well Frustration tolerance Learning social skills and emotional regulation Getting on the same page Related links: Family Goal Setting Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together) Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Bec, from Sydney, has a 2-year-old who keeps running towards the road when out at parks, playgrounds, and shops. Running away is developmentally normal: little kids love to explore. But it's also very scary! There are four things parents can do to keep their "runner" safe when out and about. Karen, from Brisbane, asks how to navigate the ongoing challenge of school refusal. Ongoing conversations with both child and school are important when school attendance is a challenge. Dr Justin shares some questions to ask, and four ideas to increase engagement, competence, and confidence for your struggling student. In this episode: Developmental Milestones [Part 2: Toddlers] Curious, exploring, developmentally appropriate Hunt, Gather, Parent by Dr. Michaeleen Doucleff | Dymocks Ongoing conversations on safety Solutions to keep child safe Pros and cons of giving kids mental health days Problematic school avoidance Working with the school Three basic psychological needs Attaching education to child's goals Alternatives to school Related links: What To Do When Kids Won't Listen How To Help When School Sucks [Webinar] School Refusal #875 Failed at School, Successful at Life: Ian Steel Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together) Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Should we be making our children apologise when they do the wrong thing? What does a sincere apology look like? In this episode: Parental Guidance (S1): “Forcing children to apologise is teaching children to lie” Victim mentality People pleasing Ruptured relationships The Parenting Revolution, by Dr Justin Coulson Motivation Continuum - extrinsic, introjected, identified, integrated, intrinsic Is It Wrong to Tell Kids to Apologize? | The Atlantic Theory of Mind Why do children apologise under coercion? Feeling seen, heard, and valued Repairing relationships Why don't kids want to apologise? 4 components of a sincere apology Related links: Should we Force our Children to Say 'Sorry' Carrots & Sticks: How Rewards and Punishments Hurt Our Kids, and What to do Instead [Webinar] Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together) Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It has been 9 months of homeschooling for the Coulson crew, with plenty of ups and downs and many lessons learned. One of those lessons is that homeschool is not and cannot just be "school at home". When a child is struggling in a school setting, taking them out of that environment only to set up the same structures and lessons at home doesn't change the challenges that your child is experiencing! In this episode: Resilient Kids Conference - (recording available) Help, hug, or space? When school isn't working Homeschooling is not school at home Letting go of expectations/perceptions Self-directed learning Autonomy Exercise - cycling, swimming Working from home Setting boundaries Steven Covey's "Big Rocks of Life" analogy The overwhelm of to-do lists Related links: Taking the Pressure Off School Refusal . Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together) Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Devices can calm our emotional children - but does a screen actually help them to emotionally regulate or is it just distracting them from their emotions in the heat of the moment? Are there long term consequences to letting screens "manage" a child's emotions? We also talk about a controversial topic - using "screen-time" as a reward! There is an important connection between screen use and children's executive function and emotional regulation, and it's not good news! In this episode: Your words have power: @always.upper.elementary Toothpaste Words: The most important back to school lesson you can do Should we comment on someone's appearance? Cure for tantrums? Longitudinal associations between parental digital emotion regulation and children's self-regulatory skills Using devices as digital pacifiers Frustration tolerance Unplug Childhood: Join the village, sign the petition #1038 - Managing Emotional Dysregulation Tolerable discomfort Resilience Associations between media parenting practices and early adolescent screen use Social media Using screens as punishment or reward leads to higher screen use Alfie Kohn, author of 'Punished by Rewards' Positive/negative reinforcement The most important "app" for our children Related links: Unplugging Parenthood #137 Punishment & Rewards with Alfie Kohn Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together) Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Our goal as parents is to raise good humans, but sometimes we actually get in the way of doing that! Beck Delahoy shares three things parents can do to move away from centuries of unhelpful patterns to a better way of parenting. In this episode: Lessons Learned | Beck Delahoy | Substack John B. Watson - 1920's behaviourist What do we want to do as parents to raise good humans? teaching thoughts, values, feelings, acceptable behaviour History of parenting Long-term consequences of punishment/reward Calculation of Risks Blind Conformity Revolt Fostering acceptable behaviour Moral development Building emotional regulation Related links: The Secret to Regulating Emotions Punishment, Rewards, & Other Disciplinary Mistakes . Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together) Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Two questions from listeners: Emma asks for advice on helping her 10 year old son who is struggling with being at school, withdrawing from friends, and feeling sad. And Kari, a homeschooling mum of 3 little boys, has requested an update on the Coulson's Homeschooling experience! In this episode: The 3 basic psychological needs Supporting children at school 'School Can't' Building frustration tolerance Attention amplifies discomfort Changing classroom or school Persistence and consistency Homeschooling update Euka Curriculum Autonomy-supportive structure Emotional regulation wins . Related links: The Secret to Regulating Emotions How to Help when School Sucks . Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A conversation about what it means to be emotionally regulated or dysregulated, with five quick ideas for parents to help their children regulate well. In this episode: What are emotions? Maladaptive responses Etymology of 'emotion' French: to excite Latin: to move Emotional regulation: The ability to control your emotional state. Emotional dysregulation: When your emotions are stronger than your ability to act with autonomy. Amygdala triggers survival/fight/flight mode Spanish: Tengo hambre (I have hunger) Developmental realities Creating a safe and predictable environment Brené Brown on emotions #822 The Emotional Lives of Teenagers (Part 1) Homeschooling . Related links: The Secret to Regulating Emotions Emotion Coaching [ Webinar - if you are a HF member you can find this in your video library] . Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Family holidays and traditions are important! Sometimes though, they can feel out of reach - perhaps unaffordable or even impossible. The good news is that traditions don't have to be big, or cost any money, and you don't even need to leave home to create them! In this episode: Why traditions matter Avoid big holidays with little kids Stick to pools/beaches when they are young What the research says Family meals, meetings, or games One-on-one time with children Marking milestones Hamish Blake's epic birthday cake tradition! . Related links: Family Traditions Help Kids Make Sense of Life . Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership NEW weekly kids' 'Print & Play' subscription FELT Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Are our attention spans decreasing? Is it possible that the kids really are listening to you but just disagree with what you have to say? Do house plants impact mental health and wellbeing? How does parental screen use affect teen screen use, and why should we avoid using punishments and rewards when it comes to screens? We unpack four studies that will help make your family happier and give you practical tips you can use today! In this episode: Are attention spans decreasing? Short-form videos Examining the Influence of Short Videos on Attention Span and its Relationship with Academic Performance Speaking of Psychology: Why our attention spans are shrinking, with Gloria Mark, PhD Not listening, or just not agreeing? Disagreement Gets Mistaken for Bad Listening Green space and mental health benefits The nature gaze: Eye-tracking experiment reveals well-being benefits derived from directing visual attention towards elements of nature Indoor / house plants Physiological Benefits of Viewing Nature: A Systematic Review of Indoor Experiments Parent screen use VS teen screen use Impact of screens at the dinner table and in bedrooms Screen time, video gaming, social media, mobile phone use Using punishments and rewards around screens leads to lousy outcomes Associations between media parenting practices and early adolescent screen use . Related links: The Screens Issue 7 Ways to Really Listen so Your Child Shares More How to Get Your Kids to Really Listen [eBook] . Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership NEW weekly kids' 'Print & Play' subscription FELT Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dr Jodie Lowinger is recognised as one of the world’s leading anxiety, mindset, and resilience experts. Jodie was a guest speaker in the groundbreaking Breaking Point Digital Conference and today we share a snapshot from her session on 'Girls and Mental Health'. In this episode: Sydney Anxiety Clinic - Psychologists Author of The Mind Strength Method: Four steps to curb anxiety, conquer worry and build resilience The prevalence of anxiety among adolescent girls Anxiety is part of our human condition Gender and anxiety Multidimensional factors contributing to adolescent anxiety: Biological (hormones, genetic predisposition) Environmental (social, psychological, technology/social media, FOMO, life experiences) Parents as therapists? Emotional intelligence Empowering parents with skills and tools to build emotional literacy The need for consistent language Parents, educators, therapists, child - getting on the same page! The power of relationship Parents want to fix things Undermining a child's capacity to build resilience . Related links: Enough: Overcoming Anxiety, Perfectionism, & Self Loathing Riding the Waves [The Course] A Grown Up's Guide to Worry Stacking (and how to help kids kick it!) #168 Emotional Intelligence with Marc Brackett . Brand new Happy Families membership is NOW OPEN and on sale for 3 days! Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletterSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Every Tuesday Dr Justin answers listener questions about making your family happier! Today we have questions about sibling friendships/conflict, and helping children learn emotional regulation. Question 1: What can parents do to make their children best friends, and how can sibling conflict/rivalry be eliminated? Question 2: How can we control our 11 year old son's emotions so that he doesn't get bullied or teased due to his consistent crying at school when things don't go his way? In this episode: Conflict in every relationship is normal Rupture and repair Four main characteristics of sibling relationships How can we get our kids to like one another? The 3 Es of Effective Discipline (Explore, Explain, Empower) Gender differences in expression of emotions Externalised vs internalised emotions Emotion-focused coping vs problem-focused coping Maladaptive/adaptive strategies Making emotions 'King' Podcast with Lisa Damour Part 1 & Part 2 The Secret to Regulating Emotions . Related links: 10 Steps to Reducing Sibling Conflict Emotion Coaching [ Webinar - if you are a HF member you can find this in your video library] Teaching Kids Kindness [ Webinar] . Brand new Happy Families membership is NOW OPEN and on sale for 3 days! Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Are we doing more harm than good by pushing our children to excel early? The pursuit of excellence can feel rewarding for parents and children alike, but scientific evidence highlights the conflict between short-term gains and long-term success. Today, we say a sad farewell to Craig Bruce as he concludes his remarkable tenure as Executive Producer of this podcast, and a heartfelt thank you from the entire Happy Families team for the extraordinary contributions Craig has made to Happy Families! In this episode: Pushing kids to succeed Acceleration programs for young children Effects of Early Talent Promotion on Junior and Senior Performance: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis Harmonious passion VS Obsessive passion Intrinsic motivation Gifted and talented children Happiness and wellbeing levels Finding healthy balance and having varied experiences No wasted knowledge in life . Related links: How Much Sport is Too Much for our Kids? Going to High-Achieving Schools is Potentially Bad for Your Kids . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's normal and natural for young children to want to take their time exploring the world around them, and it's also normal for parents to want to get things done quickly! Could it be possible to do both? Can we slow down and be more productive at the same time? There are practical and simple solutions that will help you to maintain the fun, build relationships, AND be productive—all while slowing life down for your child! Rushing our children through tasks Competition Developmental and gender reality Mum guilt Emotional regulation Solutions Introducing routine & structure Transitions Wiggle room or wriggle room? Breathing techniques (R) This episode originally aired 27/6/23. . Related links: Developmental Milestones Fast is Slow and Slow is Fast #27: How to Implement a Routine Without Being Rigid . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It takes a village to raise a family. Community-oriented relationships are so important for the well being of our children and for us as parents, but building them takes time, involvement, and effort. How can we create a village when we are time-poor parents, and where do we even start to find this supportive community? Building a safe neighbourhood Teachers Friendships - in and out of school Community leaders, coaches Medical professionals Surrogate Aunts & Uncles Surrogate Grandparents (R) This episode originally aired 7/8/23. . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Justin and Kylie respond to a listener question about emotional volcanoes Name it to tame it Emotional regulation High emotions – low intelligence Tunnel vision/rigid thinking Seen, heard & valued (R) This episode originally aired 15/8/23. . Related links: Emotion Coaching [The Webinar] The Secret to Regulating Emotions Emotional Intelligence . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's a question parents ask time and time again: What is the right age for my kids to do [insert risk]? Justin and Kylie look at a number of hot topics and discuss the appropriate/legal age for children to be allowed to do each of these. Staying at home alone The laws in QLD Putting in place contingency plans Mobile phones, school devices, burner phones Kids need smart parents, not smart phones Smart parents give their kids dumb phones (Unplug Childhood) Boyfriends & girlfriends #816 Tween Relationships: How Young is Too Young? Sleepovers Walking to school or the shops alone Ear piercing (R) This episode originally aired 28/8/23. . Related links: Everyone Else Can Do It! Why Can’t I? Movies and Kids: When Is It Okay For Them To Watch That? Should our Young Children have Boyfriends or Girlfriends at School? When is it OK to Leave your Child Home Alone? Are Sleepovers OK? . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is there tension and disagreement in your home when it comes to parenting? You are not alone! The most commonly asked question we receive is "How do you get on the same page in parenting?" We share three simple questions that can help to create alignment in your parenting-relationship, and make your family happier. (R) This episode originally aired 5/9/23. In this episode: Weekly couple’s meeting Three questions to ask Creating the space Daily habits Getting your systems right Finances, goals, holidays Creating alignment Parenting on the Same Page – A Happy Families webinar . Related links: Same Page Parenting [Article] What to Do When Parents and Grandparents Disagree The Parenting Revolution, by Dr Justin Coulson Purchase the Smells Like Teen Spirit Summit . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When our children are experiencing challenges or behaving in a challenging way, there are things we can do and say that will help them get through these rough times and transform our relationship with them in the process. We would love to hear the phrases you say to your children - record a voice memo here or email your recording to [email protected]. (R) This episode originally aired 30/5/22. In this episode: The magic of an apology Correction and direction vs connection The power of 'yet' People matter, things don't You’ve gotta love the hills Unconditional love . Related links: Enough: Overcoming Anxiety, Perfectionism, & Self Loathing How to ‘Fix’ a Problem Child . Purchase the webinar The Screaming Spiral or log in to your HF membership library to view Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It can be easy to forget who we were before becoming parents. But that’s part of the beauty of parenthood! Being a parent allows us to experience personal growth as we tap into new strengths and creativity. We get to make intentional choices about who we will become, and to change the trajectory of our lives. Why then do we often think that we're boring now that we’re parents? (R) This episode originally aired 13/10/22. In this episode: Kylie’s friend who feels lost after becoming a mum "I'm so boring!" Ideas for creativity through those hard years when you feel exhausted Why we keep growing all throughout life Finding joy in the mundane Missing life before kids Dan Gilbert: The psychology of your future self | TED . Related links: How Being a Mum Can Pump Up Your Résumé Life Lessons Every Child (And Adult) Can Learn . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Regret is often seen as a negative emotion to be avoided, but what if it holds the key to better parenting? Dr Justin Coulson and author Dan Pink uncover the surprising ways regret can teach us valuable lessons, helping us to be kinder, more thoughtful parents, and ultimately, better people. (R) This episode originally aired 2/11/22. Topics included in this episode – The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward, by Daniel Pink Why do people say that they don’t have regrets? Your regrets say a lot about you as a person Your regrets can inform your future decisions Reframing regret Inward, outward, forward “At-least”ing and “if-only”ing Dan’s advice for time poor parents Normalising the emotion of regret Talk to your kids about your regrets Dan shares some of his regrets . Related links: Learn more about Dan Pink & his books #570 Do Over - What Would You Change If You Could? . Last chance to register for the Supporting Autistic Children course Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A listener has asked, “Should we tell our kids they are beautiful?” It's ok to tell our kids they're beautiful, but we must ensure their sense of worth isn't solely tied to their looks. Focusing too much on appearance can make children rely on external validation and set them up to have a limited view of themselves. We share some helpful ways that you can encourage your child so they know they are enough, exactly as they are. (R) This episode originally aired 16/8/22. In today’s episode: Should we tell our kids that they’re beautiful? Renee Engeln – Beauty Sick Justin shares some ideas from his book Miss-Connection Teach your daughters media literacy Try to not comment on appearance when you bump into a friend Focus on your child’s inner strengths/beauty, personality, values “Instead of watching what goes into our kid’s mouths, we should watch what comes out of ours.” – James Corden . Related links: Pixel Perfect [Webinar] Watch Your Words [Article] Am I Not Pretty Enough? [Article] #126 Why Your Daughter Doesn't Need Another Mirror In Her Life (Featuring Dr Renee Engeln) . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It is not worth going to war with your child over their preferences. There are going to be more important issues that will require you to stand your ground. These moments can end in a full-blown battle with your child, or by reframing the conversation, you can work through these tough issues, avoiding conflict while still keeping your kids healthy and safe. Listen in to find out how! (R) This episode originally aired 6/6/22. Topics discussed in today’s podcast: Common fights parents have with children Sleeping, eating Friends, parties, sleepovers Social media, alcohol & drugs, intimacy, pornography, dress Conflict is normal Is your child's safety at risk? Control and power struggles Conversations without conflict Justin’s ladder metaphor Prioritising relationship Preferences vs. principles . Related links: Winning the “Gaming” Battle with our Boys – and Taking our Parenting to the Next Level Eat Right Without a Fight [eBook] Should We be Giving our Teens Alcohol? Whose House Rules? . Register for the Supporting Autistic Children course with Dr Joey Lawrence and Dr Justin Coulson. Doors close July 8. Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Are parents really responsible for their kids’ happiness? Doing things purely to make our children happy often results in disappointment—for them and for us. Instead of trying to satisfy our children's insatiable craving for happiness, we share four things to teach them that will help build happiness as a by-product rather than an end in and of itself. (R) This episode originally aired 1/8/22. In this episode: Myth – It’s our job to make our kids happy Things that could go wrong if you think it’s your job to make your kids happy Setting our kids up to fail What ARE we responsible for? Emotion coaching Do hard things Building positive relationships . Related links: Hopeful Kids Are Happy Kids Helping Our Kids Feel Good By Doing Good Purchase Better Together on the Happy Families website – Because a happy family doesn’t just happen. . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Many myths surround parenting, including the misguided beliefs that you can maintain your pre-child lifestyle or that you will instantly connect with your baby or even that teenagers are stupid. Discover why these and other common misconceptions need to be debunked. (R) This episode originally aired 28/7/22. In today’s episode: Babies are intense! Feeding/sleeping challenges Pre-child life and routine Motherhood can be all encompassing Accepting limitations and boundaries that come with children Dads bonding with baby Birth experience can affect connection Emergency caesarean, postnatal depression Connection can take time, may require interventional help Challenging kids The teenage brain . Related links: Pixel Perfect [Webinar] The Teenage Brain [Webinar] Top Seven Tips for New Dads to Boost Wellbeing 13 Reasons why Teenagers are GREAT! . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How can we help our children become better learners? When learning is seen as a process of creating abilities rather than discovering abilities, children can embrace challenges as opportunities for growth instead of avoiding them due to fear of failure. James Anderson and Justin Coulson explore how parents can help children leave their comfort zone and step into their learning zone, to understand that struggle and discomfort are natural and temporary parts of the learning journey and that investing effort results in hard things becoming easy. (R) This episode originally aired 27/7/22. In today’s episode: #529 The Growth Mindset with James Anderson Learnership Mindset – fixed vs growth. Lifelong learners, performance learners, non-learners Finding and following your strengths Choosing what you want to become Learning zones Comfort zone – easy things you haven’t done yet You don't get better by doing your best Effort is the cost of growth That which we persist in doing becomes easier to do, not that the nature of the thing has changed but that our power to do has increased.”― Ralph Waldo Emerson . Related links: Learn more about James Anderson – LEARNERSHIP: The Skill Of Learning The Most Powerful Words We Can Say to Our Children . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Myth: "Parents cannot be friends with their child." Relationships that are based on trust, appropriate disclosure, and respect are still friendships, regardless of whether they are egalitarian or not. Our children need these kinds of relationships with us. But there are limits to this friendship. Justin & Kylie examine the nature of parent-child friendships and how this relationship morphs and grows over time from the early years right up to adulthood. In this episode: Can you be friends with your kids? Parent before friend What our children need from us Mistakes parents make when trying to be their child's friend Permissive parenting Can you tell whether someone is a good parent by how good their kids turn out? High level of control can lead to rebellious children At what point is a child a good person? Mental health and wellbeing, special needs Challenging behaviours Judging parents on a child's behaviour Children make their own choices Be the best parent you can be . Related links: Anxiety In Your Child [Webinar - free for HF members] I Am Not Your Friend. I Am Your Parent How to Fix a Problem Child . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Are you tired of feeling like your worth as a parent hinges on your child's achievements? In today's podcast, we debunk common parenting myths and explore why it's unhealthy to measure your parenting success by your child's performance. We discuss the importance of self-care, the balance between personal needs and parental duties, and the critical role of maintaining a strong relationship with your spouse for a thriving family life. (R) This episode originally aired 25/7/22. In this episode: Each child brings a new parenting challenge Parenting teaches you a lot about yourself How do we measure our success as a parent? Balancing the needs of children with self-care Prioritising your relationship with partner/spouse What does it mean to be a good parent? . Related links: Dadding Done Right [Webinar] Self Care Strategies That Really Work We Need to Talk About Parent Wellbeing Having Parents in Love Is Great for Your Kids . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Justin is on a mission to use his phone less. Find out what he has done this week that has been a freeing (albeit slightly inconvenient) experience. In response to last week's episode 'Mum Break', a lot of women are saying they could never leave the kids and go away for a week! Kylie and Justin discuss why this is the case and what can be done to support and encourage mums to take some time out for themselves. In this episode: Unplug Childhood Deleting apps from devices Dropping social media The never ending laundry cycle A shout out to all the extraordinary single parents listening! "Mum breaks" - why they aren't happening more The 'martyr syndrome' of motherhood Dads need to step up . Related links: #100 Managing Bedtime as a Solo Parent 10 Reasons You’re Doing Better as a Parent Than You Think What Dad Can Do for Mum’s Wellbeing . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We unpack the latest science for parents with three fascinating studies this week: the positive outcomes that come from connecting online, the power of touch and how it has the capacity to ease pain, anxiety, and depression, and how anger is worse for us than we thought. In this episode: A Multiverse Analysis of the Associations Between Internet Use and Well-Being by Matti Vuorre and Andrew K. Przybylski Internet connection and wellbeing Brain development Getting the balance right The power of touch Vagus nerve and Karen Young A systematic review and multivariate meta-analysis of the physical and mental health benefits of touch interventions Stress hormones damage us Anger Does a Lot More Damage to Your Body Than You Realize Anger Kills, by Dr Redford Williams Anger is normal Stephen Covey - the space between stimulus and response . Related links: Why Getting Angry Doesn't Work #553 All The Rage: Taming Parental Anger . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Beck Delahoy explores the paradox of modern parenting: while raising children has never been easier thanks to advancements in health, education, and living standards, parenting itself has become increasingly challenging. However, with these advancements, a "slow life strategy" has emerged, leading to intensive parenting practices doing more harm than good. It’s time to ease up on the intensive parenting and embrace a simpler, more fulfilling approach to raising children. In this episode: Beck Delahoy's 'Lessons Learned' Parenting Substack Life expectancy's pre 1900s Why raising children into adulthood has never been easier The 'slow life strategey' Intensive parenting Parenting is harder Time to lower the parenting bar . Related links: What Your Child Needs From You [Webinar] . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Conflict is a normal, natural part of every healthy relationship, but sometimes our children can become fearful and anxious when parents argue. You can have more productive arguments and model healthy conflict resolution by focusing on the quality of the interaction—the regulation—rather than the resolution itself. Brittany asks, "How do you teach empathy without creating a people-pleaser?" We want our children to be helpful, kind, and considerate of others, but not at the expense of their own wellbeing or with unhealthy levels of self-sacrifice. There are three things you can teach your child to prevent them from becoming people-pleasers. In this episode: When children become concerned and try to keep the peace between parents Be attentive to your child's worries Is it ever ok to argue in front of the kids? Examples of unhealthy conflict Respectful, productive conflict How to focus on regulation over resolution (4 things to model) John Gottman, Esther Perez People-pleasing VS empathy, consideration of others Where does your child get their value or sense of identity from? . Related links: #523 Should We Argue In Front Of The Kids? . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When we make feelings “King”, our children can become stuck in their emotion, unable to regulate or move forward. Justin shares the right way to respond to feelings, helping them understand, process, and then move through their emotional state. In this episode: Revolutionary change in how parents respond to emotions Impact of TikTok parenting influencers Validating emotions Feeling seen, heard, valued Ways to regulate and tame emotions Parent or therapist? #822 The Emotional Lives of Teenagers - Part 1 #827 The Emotional Lives of Teenagers - Part 2 #976 Abigail Shrier's Bad Therapy How to help your child process their emotion and move on from it . Related links: The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents, by Lisa Damour The Secret to Regulating Emotions Emotion Coaching [Webinar] Little People, Big Feelings [The Summit] . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kylie is away on a kid-free adventure with a friend...and loving it! Has Justin been surviving without her? Listen in to hear the challenges, the fun, and the lessons they are both experiencing during this extended time apart. In this episode: A girls week away Friendships Pressures of family life Importance of stability and routine . Related links: Overwhelm [webinar] 18 Ways to Increase Your Happiness . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This Week In Parenting: why Australian parents are more open to smacking children than other countries, and how we can reduce peer pressure for kids and for parents by joining forces and creating community. In this episode: Smacking and corporal punishment Australian parents most open to smacking kids in international study | 9News The Parenting Revolution Can Australia make age verification work for social media? | The Guardian Momentum is building! 36 Months - sign the petition Let kids be kids - have a play-based childhood Peer pressure for kids and for parents too Unplug Childhood - join the village & take the pledge . Related links: #454 Online Safety with Julie Inman Grant from the e-Safety Commission Why It's Not Ok To Smack Your Kids - a great list of resources for what to do instead . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Journalist and author Susie O'Brien chats with Justin about the current situation in schools regarding student behaviour and classroom management, with a recent senate inquiry suggesting that it's time to go back to basics and teach children how to behave at school. In this episode: A Senate Inquiry is Calling For a New 'Behaviour Curriculum' to Tackle Classroom Disruptions | Monash University Getting back to basics with classroom behaviour Explicit Teaching Push in New Behaviour Curriculum | Education Review What do teachers want? Lack of support from principals and parents Regressive or progressive? Related links: The Calm Classroom [Webinar] One-Minute Wellbeing: 50 Quick Tips for Educators [Free Download] Boys, Girls, Brains, & Behaviour in the Classroom Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Three-year-olds are exhausting! Energetic, emotionally reactive, and uninhibited—all the things that can make a parent begin to question if their child has ADHD! Today, Dr Justin looks at the developmentally normal behaviours of a three-year-old and shares four things they need in order to learn, grow, and thrive. Plus, three tips for neurodivergent parents trying to hold it all together while navigating the chaos of family life and struggling with their own ADHD. In this episode: ADHD, ODD, or just three? Developmental Milestones - Preschoolers Little People, Big Feelings (Webinar) What Your Child Needs From You Why saying "use your words" isn't helpful Theory of mind Diagnosing ADHD What 3-year-olds need Neurodivergent parents Challenges of ADHD as an adult Help For the ADHD Parent - from the Happy Families team . Related links: Parenting an ADHD Child Women in Australia with ADHD - FB support group ADHD Mums - Australian resource and podcast . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Are you overthinking family meals? Do you want a little more peace and a lot less chaos at the dinner table? How can a family dinner fit in amongst work commitments and extra-curricular activities? We take a look at the research behind what was once considered the norm - family dinners, and share some tips to ease the pressure. In this episode: San Remo market research Chaos of mealtimes YOYO (You're On Your Own) night Screens and mealtimes Extra-curricular activities for kids AND parents are impacting family meals 5 tips to ease the pressure Are we overthinking family meals? 5 realistic tips to ease the pressure | The Conversation Rituals of connection Related links: Eat Right Without a Fight - E-Book How do I Get My Child to Eat Healthy Food Without the Power Struggles? How to Banish Tech and Make Mealtimes Matter Menu Planner [Free Download] . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We know that giving children access to social media and devices is not in their best interests. Our children deserve—and need—a play-based childhood. Join the village today and “Unplug Childhood” with us!​ In this episode: "It was the damn phones" by Kori Jane | Instagram The “Unplug Childhood” movement The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness, by Jonathan Haidt Make some noise and get on board! Why this matters No social media before age 13 Give kids a play-based childhood Make the pledge today Related links: Our Phones Are Wrecking Us Kids Need Smart Parents Not Smart Phones . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In between homeschooling, 7 seasons of House, and a lot of travel, Justin and Kylie still managed to do some reading this month. Listen in to hear reviews of a classic children's book, a terrifying, heartbreaking YA novel, a disappointing flop filled with falsehoods, a warts and all memoir, and a contender for book of the year! Kylie's books: This Is Where it Ends, by Marieke Nijkamp 4.5/5 Charlotte’s Web, by E.B White 5/5 Justin's books: Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren't Growing Up, by Abigail Shrier 3/5 Troubled: A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class, by Rob Henderson 5/5 Time to Think: The Inside Story of the Collapse of the Tavistock's Gender Service for Children, by Hannah Barnes 75/5 . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life can be really challenging for neurodivergent kids growing up in a world where they don't seem to fit in. Justin speaks with two authors about their fabulous books, and why representation in literature is so important for our children. Square Me, Round World by Chelsea Luker is a collection of short stories describing what life can feel like when you are a person growing up in a world not built for you and Wonderfully Wired by Stacey Lucas-Toumbourou celebrates the strengths and differences of 100 neurodivergent individuals who changed the world In this episode: Square Me, Round World, by Chelsea Luker | Booktopia The importance of representation Raising neurodivergent children Wonderfully Wired, by Stacey Lucas-Toumbourou Related links: Championing Neurodiversity: Helping Your Child Thrive in a Neurotypical World [Webinar] 'Supporting Autistic Children: Nurturing Neurodiversity' with Dr Justin Coulson & Dr Joey Lawrence [The Course] Parenting an ADHD Child 7 Insights for Parents of Autistic Children | Chris Bonnello Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our website See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Screen struggles are something that every family is dealing with - and not just with the kids! We share some small changes you can make to help you find a healthier and more balanced relationship with your phone. Does it feel like your child knows exactly which buttons to push to trigger you? News flash: YOU are the only one that can choose how YOU respond! Learn how to increase your competence (and confidence!) in holding personal boundaries and regulating your own emotions, and watch your relationship with your child improve in the process. In this episode: We Are Social 2023 Digital Report How to turn your phone screen to grayscale Parental triggers Neurodiversity Setting and respecting boundaries The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey You choose your response Parenting competence Building relationships Related links: #565 Pushing Our Buttons Why Our Kids Need Us to Set Limits How To Be Less Tired #379 How I Work with Amantha Imber #240 Phones & Family Life with Dr Kathryn Modecki Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dr Justin’s 3 E’s (explore, explain, and empower) are the pillars of autonomy-supportive parenting. But there are times when they just do not work (we are all only flawed humans after all!). Today's tips will help you calmly and confidently navigate through the heat of these challenging moments. In this episode: The 3 Es of Effective Discipline: Explore, Explain, and Empower Self-determination theory Basic psychological needs of every human Relatedness, competence, autonomy Need-supportive parenting High emotions = low intelligence Being ok with our children's discomfort Patience and practice Fast is slow, and slow is fast Neurodiversity Turn towards your child in challenging times Related links: The Parenting Revolution, by Dr Justin Coulson The Secret to Regulating Emotions How to Fix a Problem Child Little People, Big Feelings [The Free Webinar] Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Connecting with your teenager on their terms gives you the opportunity to engage with their world in a meaningful way. Being on the same digital platforms as your child allows for greater understanding, better conversations, and stronger connections, keeping them safe along the way. In this episode: Connection - feeling seen, heard, and valued The joy of Snapchat filters Understanding our teenager's world Doing housework with your child Daddy-daughter dates Related links: Miss-Connection 7 Day Connection Challenge [Free Download] Miss-Connection: Why Your Teenage Daughter “Hates” You, Expects the World, and Needs to Talk, by Dr Justin Coulson You Did WHAT on Snapchat?! Settle Down About Selfies Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.