Cultivating H.E.R. Space: Uplifting Conversations for the Black Woman

In this week’s episode, Terri and Dom talk about an often polarizing conversation...socioeconomic status and class. Being middle class and/or college-educated is often equated with being bougie. Well, what does bougie even mean? Is it wearing expensive shoes? Staying at four-star hotels? Going to acupuncture? Terri and Dom share their experiences with when and why people call someone bougie. Terri provides us with multiple examples of how people in our lives may call us bougie from a negative space and asks Dom to help us understand that person’s perspective and how to engage with them. Be sure to listen to the end because this is not the usual conversation on being bad and bougie. Remember to sound off in the H.E.R Space Sanctuary and share with us what bougie means to you.   Quote of the Day: Successful women still have their feet on their ground, they just have better shoes." -Oprah   Resources: Pew Research Center income calculator 10 Signs You Might Be Bougie Melanin and Mental Health Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today   Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook: @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: [email protected] H.E.R Space Sanctuary: https://www.facebook.com/groups/herspacesanctuary/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today’s episode, Dom and Terri discuss hair. Now, this is not just a discussion on “Good vs. Bad Hair”, though the ladies briefly touch on it. This is a conversation that begins with a quick history lesson on the Tignon Laws of New Orleans and then moves into modern ways in which our hair is policed, judged, politicized, and criticized. The words we use to describe someone’s hair or the assumptions we make about one another based on how we choose to wear our hair can be hurtful and offensive. Terri and Dom share with us their hair journeys and how they have been impacted by the words of others.  Terri’s journey is one you particularly want to pay attention to as many of us can relate to her life-changing story. By the way, what is your hair journey? What are your favorite products? Who’s your stylist? Share it in the H.E.R Space Sanctuary.   Quote of the Day: "I am not my hair."-  India.Arie   "In case you somehow don't already know: It's never okay to reach out your hand and touch a Black woman's hair without permission — I mean, how was that ever even a thing?" - refinery29.com   Hair Documentaries: https://backtonaturaldoc.com/ https://shadowandact.com/2017/03/02/kickstart-this-natural-hair-the-movie-aims-to-pick-up-where-chris-rock-ended-with-good-hair/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvw_PUbt1Fc https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WG3ej4R6TKc   Terri's 3 Episode Hair Transplant Journey: http://bit.ly/terrihairtransplantjourney   Resources mentioned in today’s episode: https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-merseyside-31438273 https://bglh-marketplace.com/2014/07/shocking-history-why-women-of-color-in-the-1800s-were-banned-from-wearing-their-hair-in-public/ https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/j5abvx/black-womens-hair-illegal-tignon-laws-new-orleans-louisiana https://scholars.org/brief/whats-hair-got-do-it-black-womens-bodies-and-traditional-look-success-american-politics https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/black-women-hairstyles-at-work https://www.naaf.org/alopecia-areata http://skinofcolorsociety.org/dermatology-education/traction-alopecia/ https://blavity.com/california-s-crown-act-officially-bans-race-based-hair-discrimination-in-schools-and-workplaces   Resources: Melanin and Mental Health Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today   Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram:See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In honor of Black Music Month, Terri and Dom open up the discussion of music. Who are your favorite artists? What are your favorite songs? What did music mean in your household growing up? Dom and Terri answer all of those questions and share some of their memories and emotions that remind us of the power of music. Make sure you queue up your favorite music platform and look up the songs and artists mentioned so that you can sing along. Then play along as Terri and Dom toss out various song lyrics from the 80s 90s and 2000s for you to guess. Now, while Dom spares us all by not singing, if you listen at the right moment you might hear a bit of Terri’s vocal game. What songs fill your spirit? Make you want to dance? Do a praise dance? Be sure to join Dom and Terri in H.E.R Space Sanctuary and share with the community the music that has resonated the most with you during pivotal important moments in your life. Quote of the Day: "Music is a world within itself, it's a language we all understand"- Stevie Wonder Artists Terri and Dom mentioned: Stevie Wonder Prince Gospel Gangstas DJ Jubilee Vesta Williams Kirk Franklin Michael Jackson Mary J. Blige Neyo India.Arie Janet Jackson Petey Pablo Pretty Ricky Maxwell TLC Lauryn Hill Al Green Marvin Gaye Patti LaBelle Beyonce Solange Nicki Minaj Cardi B Chris Brown Megan Thee Stallion Saweetie Migos   Resources: Melanin and Mental Health Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today   Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook: @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: [email protected] H.E.R Space Sanctuary: https://www.facebook.com/groups/herspacesanctuary/  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Have you been considering seeing a mental health professional? Well, then today’s episode is just for you. Dom acknowledges that as a mental health professional she is biased so she turns to Terri to share her experience with therapy. Through Terri’s sharing of her varied experiences with therapy Dom asks her questions to help listeners determine things to look for; questions to ask; and how to advocate for you may need. The ladies also provide us with information on ways to get access to therapy outside of the traditional face to face therapy. Never been to therapy and are curious about what happens?  Dom walks us through what happens in the first session and explains some of the things that we can address with a therapist. Know that it requires working through the ugly to get to the beauty, but remember...trust the process. Quote of the Day:"When we talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary." - Mr. Rogers Resources:Mood tracker appTalkspaceHeadspacePacificaMelanin and Mental HealthTherapy for Black GirlsPsychology Today Where to find us:Twitter: @HERspacepodcastInstagram: @herspacepodcastFacebook: @herspacepodcastWebsite: herspacepodcast.comEmail: [email protected] Space Sanctuary: https://www.facebook.com/groups/herspacesanctuary/See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Anxiety is the number one mental health diagnosis in America and Black women experience it in ways that we often ignore...  In this week's episode, Terri shares that she has been in a reflective space and unapologetically experiencing ALL of her feelings. One of the things she noticed was anxiety. Terri notes that she wasn't able to acknowledge the experience until she knew what it meant. Dom provides us with descriptions on how anxiety may show up in our lives from the physical, mental and behavioral manifestations. Terri and Dom identify the instances in our everyday lives that cause anxiety for Black women. The ladies also know that they are not immune to anxiety and share examples of when they have experienced anxiety and what they did to address it. Then they provide us with tips on how we can all manage our anxiety. Tune in to find out if Terri and Dom list the way(s) in which anxiety may be showing up in your life.    Quote of the Day: “Anxiety’s like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you very far.” -Jodi Picoult   Takeaways: Ways to Address Your Anxiety- Therapy Exercise Meditation Mindfulness Grounding/breathing exercises Healthy diet Ask yourself- "What can I control?"   Resources: Sharing Hope: An African American Guide to Mental Health provides mental health information in a sensitive manner through personal stories. Recovery is possible, and this booklet tells you where to find more information, seek help and be supportive.- NAMI   When The News is Triggering: Coping with Trauma in the News  Melanin and Mental Health Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook: @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: [email protected] H.E.R Space Sanctuary: https://www.facebook.com/groups/herspacesanctuary/   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“Girl, if I knew then what I know now.” How many times have you heard this or said this? In today’s episode, Terri and Dom address what they would tell their younger selves in regards to relationships, sexuality, career, finances, self-esteem, and womanhood. “Trust your gut” “Monetize your passion” “Your network determines your net worth” “MASTURBATE!” “Embrace who you are”  “It’s okay for us to be multidimensional beings” “You’re worthy” ...there are so many quotable moments in this episode so be sure to write them down and share them on social media.    Quote of the Day: "Your deep Mahogany skin may not resemble that of the others in your family, but it’s just as gorgeous and you’re just as worthy….One day you’ll appreciate how much your brown skin shines in the moonlight, glistens in the sun and ages ever so slowly." -Gabrielle Union   Resources: Melanin and Mental Health Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today   Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook: @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: [email protected] Join the H.E.R Space Sanctuary! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: “When we face pain in relationships our first response is often to sever bonds rather than to maintain commitment.” “For me, forgiveness and compassion are always linked: how do we hold people accountable for wrongdoing and yet at the same time remain in touch with their humanity enough to believe in their capacity to be transformed?” - bell hooks   In Season 2 Episode 5 Dom and Terri had a chance to interview a special guest, Dr. Ja'Nina Garrett-Walker and engage in conversation about being black and queer and how we can build a bridge between Black heterosexual women and Black queer women. The interview went well until the last 13 minutes. Terri and Dom were made aware of a few statements that were deemed problematic. In today’s episode, Dom and Terri invited Ja'Nina back on the show to model a healthy dialogue that will hopefully empower you to have your own healing conversations despite how uncomfortable or passionate they might be. Stay tuned to learn tips on what to do when you or someone you know fucks up...because it happens to the best of us.   TIPS FOR WHEN YOU MAKE A MISTAKE: Notice it Slow down Don't make a big deal about it Acknowledge it Take responsibility Understand intent vs impact Listen with a different lens Reflection and introspection Humility Put ego aside Apologize   Resources: Gender: Ideas, Interactions, Institutions Melanin and Mental Health Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today   Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook: @herspacepodcast   Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: [email protected] See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today’s episode, Terri and Dom are joined by Dr. Ja’Nina Garrett-Walker from the University of San Francisco. They engage in a conversation about how as a Black community we can all be better accomplices for the Black queer community. Dr. Garrett-Walker gives us some information on what it means to “deconstruct the binary” and the damage it does to the entire community when we focus on the binary. She also gives us lots of terminology that we all need to learn in understanding our queer community. Clutch your invisible pearls because she will also check us on ways in which we can do better in ridding ourselves of the homophobia, patriarchy, and anti-queerness we often engage in.  Be sure to take out your pen, paper or something to take notes with so that you can remember the terms. If you’ve had a question about the role of religion; how to be a better ally for the queer person in your life; or just wanting to understand, this is the episode for you. After the more serious questions, the ladies engage in a round of Oh You Clatchet?  And of course, at the end, Terri and Dom share their debriefing. Lady, knowing that so many of our queer brothers and sisters are more at risk for suicide, violence, and homelessness, it is up to us to be good accomplices in advocacy because if one of isn’t free then none of us are free.   Quote of the Day: “One of the ways that you can work for freedom is to change your mind and to move away from the space of binaries, of simplistic either/ors, and to be able to look at the picture that offers us complexity.” - Bell Hooks   Takeaways: Check Your Privilege Campaign Zami by Audre Lorde Human Rights Campaign GLAAD GLSEN Connect with Ja'Nina on Twitter: @j_garrettwalker   Resources: Melanin and Mental Health Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today   Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook: @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: [email protected] See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Tension, pain, frustration, sadness, heart racing, butterflies in your stomach, sweaty palms, stress. Any of those things sound familiar? Those are some of the feelings that come up when we experience conflict. Lady, you’re going to want to grab something to take notes because Teacher T steps into H.E.R Space and helps us to explore what is conflict resolution and why is it important. In today’s episode, Dom and Terri use real-life scenarios to show us how to disagree with someone effectively. With the use of these tips, we can all become better communicators and see improvements in our relationships with friends, families, and coworkers. ***Please note that Terri and Dom are not actresses and the role plays in today’s episode are just that. Role plays. The content of the role plays do not reflect their actual views, thoughts and may not reflect actual facts.*** Don’t forget to join the H.E.R Space Sanctuary: www.facebook.com/groups/herspacesanctuary/ Quote of the Day: “People will forget what you said, they will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” - Maya Angelou Takeaways: Here are a few nuggets to keep in mind when you’re faced with a conflict or tense situation... Focus on Facts Don't Get Personal Recognize the Good Remember to Listen Use "I" Statements Know When to Move On Establish Ground Rules Before an Intimate Discussion Resources: Dale Carnegie book Melanin and Mental Health Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today Where to find us: Exclusive Facebook community: H.E.R Space Sanctuary Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook: @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: [email protected] See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/cultivating-h-e-r-space-uplifting-conversations-for-the-black-woman--5470036/support.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lady, you are ENOUGH. Let that sink in. Say it out loud. “I AM ENOUGH.” Now take a deep breath in, slowly let it out and get ready to dive into today’s episode. This week Dom and Terri discuss the narratives that reverberate in our brains that influence our confidence and self-esteem. Our confidence is situational and subjective. It's also different from self-esteem and both may fluctuate with the various phases of our lives. Terri and Dom share their self-esteem and confidence journeys with Terri taking us back to turbulent adolescent middle school years while Dom goes allllllll the way back to kindergarten. Dom then offers us some tips on how to improve our self-esteem and confidence and Terri testifies to the effectiveness. What has been your journey towards your glow-up? Or are you (like most of us) still in progress? Be sure to step into H.E.R Space and share your story.   Quote of the Day: “I need to see my own beauty and to continue to be reminded that I am enough, that I am worthy of love without effort, that I am beautiful, that the texture of my hair and that the shape of my curves, the size of my lips, the color of my skin, and the feelings that I have are all worthy and okay.” - Tracee Ellis Ross   Takeaways: Identify your strengths Feed yourself a positive narrative Get a win and celebrate it Be compassionate with yourself    What Is Confidence? And How YOU Can Get More!- http://mochagirlspitstop.com/what-is-confidence-and-how-you-can-get-more/   3 confidence boosters for that time of the month- http://mochagirlspitstop.com/3-confidence-boosters-for-that-time-of-the-month/   2 Things Every Woman Should Start Doing to Boost Confidence & Self-Esteem- http://mochagirlspitstop.com/2-things-every-woman-start-boost-confidence-self-esteem/   Resources: Melanin and Mental Health Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today   Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook: @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: [email protected]  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Research has shown that there can be healing in humor. Belly laughs from way down deep can be so good for our souls. Lady, when was the last time you laughed? Not that polite laugh, but the real authentic one. When was the last time you tapped into your imagination and chaired the fun ministry? With so much sadness and seriousness, Terri and Dom take a break from the heaviness to have a lighthearted episode telling some corny jokes and share some ways in which they tap into their inner child. Join them as they also discuss happiness- what it looks like, some of the barriers to achieving it, and how to tap into it. What are the ways in which you get in touch with your inner child? Make sure to do one of those activities this week and share with us via pics and videos on social media.   Quote of the Day: “Growing up is acting less childish and being more child-like." -Lizzo   Takeaways: Tap into your inner child and share with us on social media https://www.happify.com/hd/happiness-by-the-numbers/   Resources: Melanin and Mental Health Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today   Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook: @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: [email protected]  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today’s episode we’re diving into a topic that’s taboo for many but oh so necessary to a fulfilling and joyful existence...S-E-X. Joining Terri and Dom is the first of many expert guests in H.E.R Space.  Eliza Boquin, is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Relationship Therapist, and Sexuality Expert. She’s the owner, founder, and primary psychotherapist of The Flow and Ease Healing Center and specializes in working with relationship & sexuality challenges. But wait, there’s more... she’s also the Co-founder of Melanin and Mental Health and co-host on the podcast, Between Sessions. In her work Eliza helps people heal from shame & trauma so they can have healthier, pleasure-filled, mutually-satisfying relationships…. Tune in for all the “wow” moments and a few other special surprises!   Quote of the Day: “Let’s talk about sex baby. Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be. Let’s talk about sex.”- Salt N Pepa   Takeaways: For more information on how to heal from trauma, where to find Eliza and more information on sex, please check out the videos, books, and websites below: Dr. Peter Levine explains trauma, sexual trauma, and somatic experiencing (extended video) (short video) Courage to Heal Book and Workbook Come As You Are Flow and Ease Healing   Resources: Melanin and Mental Health Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today   Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook: @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: [email protected]  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lady! We did it! We made it through 13 episodes! That means we have finished the first quarter of 2019! Can you believe it? Whether you've been rocking with Terri and Dom since Day 1 or just tuning in...know that this week's episode will give you a quick recap of each episode and shout out some folks. Also, Dom and Terri offer additional insights, commentary and follow-ups. But wait...if you enjoyed season 1 you CANNOT miss what we have in store for season 2! As always, thank you for tuning in lady and please join us in conversation on our social media channels.   Quote of the Day: “I release what no longer serves me to manifest what I desire." -Season 1 Mantra Takeaways: Shout to you, you, and you! For following us on social media, subscribing, texting, emailing, calling and sharing our baby with your networks. Your continued support means more than you could ever know. Stay tuned as we continue on this amazing journey! Resources: Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today   Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook: @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: [email protected]  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We all know what it feels like when someone violates our boundaries but how do we know when we are the boundary violator? Have you ever... offered unsolicited advice? Gossiped? Said what you would do if you were in someone’s situation? Asked personal questions? Interrupted someone in the middle of a conversation? Touched someone’s hair? Touched someone on the shoulder? Asked a coworker where they lived? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you, like most of us, have been a boundary violator. In today’s episode, Terri and Dom take us through multiple situations (including current events from pop culture and a subscriber question) in which we may be unintentionally invading someone’s personal space and offer us tips on how to navigate those situations.   Quote of the Day: "R-E-S-P-E-C-T...find out what it means to me!” - The Queen, Aretha Franklin   Takeaways: What to do if we violate the boundaries of others Apologize Be willing to listen Don’t take offense Ask for permission   Resources: Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today   Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook: @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: [email protected]  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ever wonder, “How did I get here? I’m not as good as everyone else here. What’s going to happen to me when they find out I’m not as smart as them?” If you answered, “yes” then chances are you have experienced Impostor Phenomenon or Imposter Syndrome. This experience was initially coined to describe the experiences of White women who believed their achievements were a result of happenstance; lived in fear of being taken as a fraud; and setting sometimes unrealistic high standards of achievement. This syndrome may be more exacerbated in people of color, particularly women, who often receive societal messages of not belonging or not good enough.  (Cokely, K., et. al., 2013).   In this week’s episode, join Dom and Terri as they discuss Imposter Syndrome/Impostor Phenomenon, its effects on our well-being and ways to combat it. Terri begins with a story and unintentionally ends up “on the couch” with Dr. Dom who challenges Terri to re-examine how she describes herself. Keep listening and you’ll get tips (through Dom and Terri’s own experiences) on how to check yourself and remind yourself that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Quote of the Day: “At the end of the day, remember this: You are here for a reason. In this job, your business, your life, you are worthy. You are better than you think you are. You are smarter than you think you are. You know more than you give yourself credit for. Remember that. Remind yourself as often as you need to.” - Megan Dalla-Camina   Takeaways: Ways to Conquer Imposter Syndrome/Impostor Phenomenon: Be realistic about your strengths and weaknesses Alter your narrative/Reframe your thinking Celebrate your accomplishments Recognize these feelings are normal Access your support system Resources: Clance, P.R. (1985). The impostor phenomenon: Overcoming the fear that haunts your success (p. 25). Atlanta: Peachtree Publishers. Cokely, K., McClain, S., Enciso, A., Martinez, M. (2013). An examination of the impact of minority status stress and impostor feelings on the mental health of diverse ethnic minority college students. Journal of multicultural counseling and development, 41, 82-95. Craig, L. (2018). Are you suffering from imposter syndrome? Ways to identify and deal with feelings of self-doubt in grad school. https://www.apa.org/science/about/psa/2018/09/imposter-syndrome.aspx Robinson, A. (2017). Overcoming imposter syndrome. How to stop feeling like a fraud. https://www.apadivisions.org/division-28/publications/newsletters/psychopharmacology/2017/11/imposter-syndrome.aspx?_ga=2.218253150.610534608.1538685330-364524485.1533165585 Weir, K. (2013). Feel like a fraud? https://www.apa.org/gradpsych/2013/11/fraud.aspx   Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today   Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook:See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Terri and Dom switch things up a bit in this episode. Dom starts us off with a quick story about how she came to realize she has a team. If we want to live our best life then having a team will get you there. Who do you need on your team? How can you create a team with limited finances? Terri and Dom share with us some of the people they have on their teams and how they navigated finding coaches when they did not have the money. They also discuss their “co-parenting relationship” for H.E.R Space and some of the qualities of the teamwork that makes the dream work. Dom and Terri also shout out (Heyyy girl, Hey!) some of their built-in team members and how meaningful those relationships are. As we’re all evolving in this journey called life, outline your health goals (mental, physical, spiritual, financial and social) and create a team that can support you in each of those areas. Quote of the Day: "Look for people who will pull you forward, put you on your tippy-toes, and will inspire you to reach higher. And once you find them, keep them close to you. They are your voice of reason, your direction, and your sounding board." - Lisa Nichols   Takeaways:   Creating Your Team and Making Meaningful connections   How to find a good therapist What to look for in an accountability partner How to find a coach How to find a mentor Ways to workout for FREE! How to find a financial advisor Growing Beyond a Solopreneur: Hiring a Strong Team SCORE | Free Small Business Advice   Resources: Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today   Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook: @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: [email protected]    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life is good...like REALLY good. In fact, it’s LIT. You’re “blessed and highly favored.” To the casual observer, everything on the outside appears to be wonderful. But on the inside...you feel empty. Lady, is this you? If so, you may be experiencing depression. What we know for sure is that ALL of us will experience symptoms of depression related to many normal life events like a relationship breakup, grief over a loss, or other stressors. For most of us, the feelings of sadness last for a few days at most. For others, if the symptoms last more than a two weeks we may be experiencing a major depressive episode. Today Terri and Dom discuss what depression looks like; what are some causes; and why we need to reduce the stigma so that we can take care of ourselves. Terri shares with us pieces of her journey with depression and Dom addresses the uncomfortable topic of suicide.   Some Common Signs and Symptoms of Depression: Sadness Anger Loss of interest or pleasure Changes in sleep, weight, appetite   Quote of the Day: “I don’t think people understand how stressful it is to explain what’s going on in your head when you don’t even understand it yourself”- Anonymous   Takeaways: Take 5 minutes a day to pour into yourself (meditation, walking, talking with your support system) Check on your friends- especially the strong ones Mood Tracker app If you or someone you know ever has thoughts of suicide please contact National Suicide Prevention Hotline   Resources: Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today   Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook: @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: [email protected]  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

No! In case you were wondering, no is a complete sentence. Use it without hesitation. Nike! (Just do it!) Know that using it is an act of self-care. Can you think of a time when you’ve had to say no or struggled to say no? Who have you had to say no to? How do you feel when you have to say? These situations are boundary testers and using “No” is a way for us to outline our rules of interaction. Terri and Dom offer us ways to say "No" within real-life situations, including instances in which they were successful, someone was clear with them on a boundary, and times when they struggled with saying "No." If you want to stand up for yourself in those uncomfortable moments, practice in the mirror, in the shower, in the car and remember... “No." It’s a complete sentence. I said what I said and it does not require justification or explanation.   Quote of the Day: "Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others." – Brené Brown    Resources: 20 Ways to Say NO- http://lifegetsorganized.com/2016/04/18/20-ways-to-say-no/   How to Say No And Why You Should Say It More- http://mochagirlspitstop.com/how-to-say-no/   49 Ways To Say No To Anyone (When You Don’t Want To Be A Jerk)- https://www.careerfaqs.com.au/news/news-and-views/how-to-say-no-to-anyone   Therapy for Black Girls   Psychology Today   Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook: @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: [email protected]    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It’s the day after Valentine’s Day. How did you spend the day? Were you focused on others or did you take time to care for yourself? Or was it just another day for you? Hopefully, you did something that made you feel good. In this week’s episode, Dom and Terri dive into the importance of self-care...doing the things (whatever they are) that make you feel good. While self-care is a phrase that seems to be tossed around a lot lately, do we know what it really means? How can we engage in it when we have been socialized to believe that doing so is selfish? Per usual, the ladies provide us with real-life examples from their lives and give us practical ways we can apply it to our own. Self-care is not going to look the same for everyone and shout out to all the ladies finding creative ways to pour into themselves! Remember...equate self-care with what they teach us on the plane- put your own oxygen mask on before you assist others.   Quote of the Day: “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” - Audre Lorde   Takeaways: “Taking care of yourself = keeping your cup full. If you don’t do things to keep your cup full, you have nothing left to give or share with others.” – Paige Burkes Self-care is not selfish. Just because everyone else is consuming a certain type of content doesn't mean you have to do it. Self-care is unique to each person. It's your decision to figure out and communicate to those around you. Let's not judge others on the self-care tactics they choose.   If you need ideas on how to establish a Self-care plan, take a look at this link here.   Resources: Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today Rainn.org   Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook: @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: [email protected]  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this week’s episode, Terri and Dom invite you to join them for a live recording they held with several amazing women at the Womxn of Color Conference at the University of San Francisco. Just in time for Valentine's Day, this episode focuses on dating and relationships. No matter your current relationship status, ask yourself the questions Dom asked the live audience: “What are three things you look for in a relationship?” and, “What is your idea of a perfect date?” Asking these questions can help us begin to assess our relationship needs. Through three different stories, Terri shares with us how she learned to assess and address her relationship needs. As Terri and Dom answer questions from the audience they finally answer the question that made you tune in… “How to play by the rules so you don’t get played.”   Quote of the Day: “We love because it’s the only true adventure”- Nikki Giovanni   Takeaways: Dom and Terri did not answer all of the questions so a future episode will be dedicated to answering all of your questions so make sure you send questions via email, herspacepodcast.com.   If you or someone you know is in (or has been in) an uncertain situation and would like some help, go to rainn.org for tons of resources.   Resources: rainn.org Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today   Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook: @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: [email protected]  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On the first day of Black History Month, Dom asks us to examine what it's like to be Black in America. Terri and Dom dive into a discussion about colorism, good hair vs. bad hair, representation, how we talk, and lots of other factors that could tear down one’s self-esteem depending on how we perceive it. Dr. Dom drops some knowledge about the Clark doll study, the original experiment that illustrates how we've been conditioned to view ourselves as bad. Terri shouts out her husband’s books that showcase Black boys in a positive light. Initially, it seems as if they’re complaining or focusing on the negative things but just keep listening...They want all Black women to embrace #BlackGirlMagic, celebrate their uniqueness, and live out our ancestors wildest dreams!   Quote of the Day: “I am my ancestors wildest dreams” -BMike   Takeaways: In honor of Black History Month, Terri and Dom encourage you to learn about Black history, art and culture in a way you haven’t done before (books, museums, documentaries, etc) and then share it on H.E.R Space social media pages. Resources Mentioned: Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today StudioBe "When I Grow Up I Want to Be” trilogy http://www.royallymelanated.com/product/super-series-3-in-one-book-pre-order/ Why Isn’t There a White History Month? http://mochagirlspitstop.com/white-history-month/ 29 Quotes About Black Women That’ll Make You Proud of Your Melanin http://mochagirlspitstop.com/proud-of-your-melanin/   Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook: @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: [email protected]  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Terri is scrolling down her social media timeline and noticed everyone else’s life was lit while hers seemed stagnant. She felt overwhelmed instead of inspired. Dr. Dom reminds Terri of her #BlackGirlMagic but noted a bigger issue...what happens when we don’t reach certain adulting milestones? We tend to engage in negative social comparison (your day 1) based on the highlights of someone else’s life (their day 100). We let other people tell us what we should focus on even if it’s not bringing us fulfillment. Dr. Dom and Terri point out some of the milestones many of us are expected to achieve (the good, the hard, the annoying, the fun) and the strategies we can utilize to be comfortable in our own path. Find your fire and make your own life LIT! Quote of the Day: "Don’t set sail on someone else’s star." - African proverb  Takeaways: Your life is yours to create. It won’t look like anyone else’s and that’s okay. Appreciate the good things happening to you in the moment Revisit Your Why & Your Master Plan Don’t Despise the Days of Small Beginnings Realize Why Successful Black Women Should Be Celebrated Motivate Yourself & Create a Game Plan 4 Ways to Stay Motivated When Everyone Else’s Life is Lit   "Where you will sit when you are old shows where you stood in youth." — Yoruba proverb   Resources Mentioned: Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today Goal Mapping Workbook   Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook: @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: [email protected]  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Terri shares with us a reader question about leaving a toxic relationship. We’ve all been there or know someone who’s been there. Terri talks about her healing from a toxic relationship- the ups and downs of it all, including having “friends”. What are your options? While there are many, Dom wants us to use the time to focus on healing ourselves- our in the meantime. What does time with ourselves really look like and is it even possible? Dom and Terri share with us some pretty cool ways to spend time with ourselves. They also gives us some important things to consider as we’re healing- with no deadline for completion. Our quote queen shares multiple nuggets that you’ll definitely want to share with your girls. Quote of the Day: ‘...I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.’ - Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City Takeaways: Ways to dive into yourself: Journal your thoughts and feelings Invest time in your hobbies Let yourself feel the feelings- but don’t act on them Spend time with friends and family Seek the support of a mental health professional Resources Mentioned: Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook: @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: [email protected] See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/cultivating-h-e-r-space-uplifting-conversations-for-the-black-woman--5470036/support.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Terri and Dom continue the conversation started in last week’s episode this time focusing on goal setting and overcoming procrastination. We all have been guilty of procrastination and Terri lets us in on when she realized she had to stop procrastinating to help reach her goals. What’s keeping you from following through and being accountable? They ask us, “what does try really mean?” and how does that affect the accomplishment of our goals. Then Terri and Dom use real life and personal examples to walk us through using SMART goals to get things done. As always, they give us some other invaluable “Pro tips and Game Changers”. Be sure to log on to the website to check out the goal setting worksheet that will put you on the path to achieving your dreams. Quote of the Day: “I used to want the words ‘She tried’ on my tombstone. Now I want ‘She did it’.” – Katherine Dunham Takeaways: SMART GOALS Specific Measurable Achievable Results-focused Time-bound Resources Mentioned: Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today Goal Mapping Workbook Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook: @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: [email protected] See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/cultivating-h-e-r-space-uplifting-conversations-for-the-black-woman--5470036/support.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today’s episode Terri and Dom discuss time management and procrastination. They ask some tough questions like, “How do we allocate our time? Do we know the difference between urgent and important or reactive vs. proactive?” Dom shared with us how she managed her time when she was working a 9-5 and trying to complete her dissertation to graduate on time. Terri gives us a game changer in her time management. Then they pull out their top 7 tips from a Business Insider Article that outlines how successful women manage their time. As they are sharing these tips they also give us real life examples that work for women like us. Quote of the Day: "Most of us spend too much time on what is urgent, and not enough time on what is important." - Steven Covey Takeaways: Make time for exercise Toughest tasks for early in the morning Take real breaks Take advantage of unexpected moments Plan ahead Don’t watch too much tv Multitask the right way Resources Mentioned: Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today Goal mapping workbook Self reflection journal Article Pomodoro technique Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook: @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: [email protected] See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/cultivating-h-e-r-space-uplifting-conversations-for-the-black-woman--5470036/support.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome! Start here to learn more about your hosts Terri and Dom, get more insight into why they created H.E.R Space, what scared them about the process, and why they pushed forward to release this podcast in the midst of fear and uncertainty.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.