Brilliant Observations

Looking for an old-fashioned antidote to all those Thanksgiving blessings? Try the Catholic method and focus on CONFESSING! Amy kicks things off with several low-grade felonies, including retail fraud and vehicular wrecklessness. Then Missy joins the fun with a free-wheeling endorsement of this week's spa-based "treatment," the exotic Six Hands Massage. It's a thing. Sibian much? Happy Thanksgiving, Dear Listener. If you can make it all the way to the end, hear Missy tear up as we describe in vivid detail just how grateful we are for you. Now go spread some love, ya filthy animals!

Two things can be true, Dear Listener. First, Missy donates her hard-won discretionary time — at great personal risk, we might add — for the betterment of democracy. And, Missy realizes she's currently living in the Best Time of Her Life. Is this is a disconnect? Has she somehow diassociated from the throngs of far-too-easily ruffled eligible voters of southern Pennsylvania? Nah. She's just grateful for everything these days. Especially banana taffy. Share this episode with a friend. Or better yet, make a new one by sharing the entire show. Just text someone who loves to laugh and tell them to give Brilliant Observations a try. We're grateful for you. Now let's get TOSSED!

Best names ever, the art and science of being a poor sport, plus a special trip to Shartford, Connecticut. We cover it all this week, Dear Listener, and just in time for the weekend (even though with Daylight Savings Time and jet lag it should really be...) Special shoutout to the lovely "asshats" (surely she didn't say "asshat") at the Mindful Mavens podcast — give them a listen for peaceful, enlightened conversation. Grateful for you, kids. Mean it.

Ever have a "friend" act more like a rabid raccoon? It's a Write-In Mystery this week, Dear Listener, and as predicted, Amy and Missy love not to help. Hear our off the cuff advice for a Listener suffering the indignities of an over-stepper doing a little too much helping himself-ing. Plus, the 80s theme 50th birthday party featuring karaoke is a huge hit. So why is Melissa so mad? Oh, that's right. Because Amy refuses to do anything she's told. Surprise, surprise! All this and still so much more. Give us a listen! You're gonna like the way you look.

Can you believe it? It's Skimpy Sequin Season, Dear Listener, which means everything from sacred relious ceremonies to time-honored teen traditions are awash in too short, too sheer, too sparkly and too shocking "formal" wear. All of which leads us to lament the untimely death of Suzanne Somers (as you do), sample new and various weed gummies, and partially report on the latest family scandal. (It's a doozy!) So what say you? Are you ready for some scandalous whoremongering? Of course you are. Why do we even ask?

What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? How often we take it for granted. Ride along with us as we explore all the ways we can tap into joy, effortlessly uplift each other, find the unfiltered laugh, call happiness to us in everyday life, and expand the dense and infinitely available goodness that flows all around us in this fractured world. Give it a try. You never know what it will change. And it case it wasn't patently obvious, we stand with Israel. We stand with Jews. We condemn terrorists and terrorism in all its forms. Speak out for Jews, and #standuptoJewishhate. Your friends are listening.

Looking for a laugh this week? Boy, did you come to the right place! We're talking all things light, breezy, and lemon-squeezy this week, including a healthy mistrust of celebrity, the beloved Deborah Gibson, and (you guessed it) a recurring fascination with the anal region. Why listen to anything else? Celebrate life. Embrace joy. Love your neighbor. Love your other neighbor. And find happiness wherever you can. The world needs you!

From a scantily clad, knife-wielding Brittany Spears-a-thon (or is it Spears-a-thong?) to the mystery ingredient in hot dogs, we've covering all things terrifying this episode. Join us as we delve into such bouncy topics as the Hundo List, adult loneliness, Tuscon on the horizon, and you guessed it, porn. What's not to love?

The Hallowieners are at it again, Dear Listener, and this time they're not even the worst of the worst we cover this week. Join us in flabberghasted awe as we giggle through the existence of Dog Doo DNA Kits, dangle death skeletal decor, Paul Simon's inexplicable mortality and the Four Personality Types (and How To Beat Them). We also cover Adults Behaving Badly, Theatre Edition, Jewish New Year, the rise of Cat Stevens (or is it Stevie Nicks?), Rick Rubin and the Creative Act, and Missy's trip down childhood memory lane (straight into the cabbage patch). Lots to love. Tell a friend.

You heard it here first, Dear Listener... just as Missy predicted, the cops got wise and sent in the dogs to finally catch the escaped Philadelphia area prisoner — but not before he made a special ghostly appearance over Amy's shoulder while recording this week. Listen in for the fright of your life (that actually turns out to be the gardener). Missy even predicted that K9 units would save the day. All that, plus magic gratitude numbers, Stuart takes his life in his hands Kitchen Edition, and Ekhart Tolle part 2 (featuring Abraham Hicks). Woo-woo!

It's a shocking turn of events this week, Dear Listener, and poor Missy is stunned into silence over Stuart's inexplicable — and uncharacteristic — inability to properly manage the three dogs. Visiting the Margate beach house takes a wild, if temporary turn. And yes, a police cruiser is involved. Rest assured, Dearest. In the end, all's well that ends well in doggy-dom. (Even if Stuart himself may never escape the doghouse again.) We also chat through the realities of semi-adult children flying the nest, the glories of a little light shoplifting (college edition), the miraculous sounds of laryngitis-tinged laughter and your favorite: turkey sandwich food porn. Where is that terrible waitress, again? Check please!

It's the vacation, vocation, medication episode, Dear Listener, complete with teen drivers behaving badly, young adults fleeing the nest, and teary-eyed besties rekindling their love affair with time, talents, and three decades' worth of friendship. Gratitude, anyone?

To ice or not to ice, Dear Listener — that is but one of our many questions this week. Like, why do we still cling to toxic relationships (with Skittles)? How are multi-level marketers still a thing? What do photos of our past lives really say about our future? And when are we finally going to reveal the murderer?! All this and so very much more will be hiariously revealed this week on your favorite true crime podcast, Brilliant Observations. Did I say true crime? I meant not true crime. Thank you, algorithm. (Is it still a lie if it's said with love?)

(Of what are you afraid?) Oh, I dunno. Sneezes, Skittles, death cleaning, failing, falling, and quite possibly burning down the house. It's a raucous, late night redo of an episode this week, Dearies. You won't want to miss it.

It was the best of toes. It was the worst of toes. Listen in as Missy reinjures her engorgement — hey now — and somehow lives to tell the tale. Spoiler alert: the story involves an iPad, three doctors and a blow torch. What? Next, Amy and Missy move on to all the adulty things you don't get enough credit for doing now that you're an adult. You know the list: cleaning out the dryer lint, confronting someone you don't want to, completely stalling out and failing to achieve or understand your life's purpose. That sort of thing. It's all shits and giggles from there, Dear Listener. Including a very special video shout out on our private Facebook group, BrillObSquad, of the bat-shittiest national anthem you have ever experienced. (Thank you, Belgium.) So don your favorite national flag cape, grab your flame-tipped sunglasses and settle in for your favorite hour with friends — Brilliant Observations.

It's around the world in 80 hours, Dear Listener, and boy do we have stories for you! Missy and Amy take to the skies to celebrate their college bestie on her 50th birthday, complete with a three mile hike straight up, beach rugby, late night pool parties and a rooftop concert. Throw in a weed store within walking distance of the rental property plus a fully stocked bar and you've got yourself one hell of a podcast. There's even a Very Special 30 Second with Amy, Murderers Edition, and a 50 States Quiz you won't want to miss. Jealous? Then JOIN US on the social @ListenBrilliant and BrillObSquad for all the juicy details.

"I don't steal stuff" and other lies kick things off this week, complete with a long list of all the ways that Amy truly, really does not steal (all that often). Oh, dear, Dear Listener. Next, Missy tackles the unsolvable problem of the crippling sloppiness of Amy's living environment. Stick with me here, gang. Gotta say, feeling real good about this show this week. (You wanted the truth!)

It's an all out CAGE MATCH this week, Dear Listener, as Missy and Amy take extreme umbrage with the powers that be at Breakfast. You heard me. It's the Post, Kellogg, General Mills, Gererica SHOWDOWN with our Heavyweight of the Cereal Aisle. We rank em. We spank em. We can't believe how much we know about em. Play along with our Best Of List, or just wring your hands as Amy retells the story of 18 Year Olds Gone Bad, Housesitting Edition. What's not to love?

Boy oh boy, Dear Listener, did we get feedback from you! So if last week's epsiode got you all riled up, you're in for a real treat. Join us as we discuss our shared admiration for the Jersey Jews, the Atlantic City Eye-talians, and of course, Justine Bateman's face. Oy. All that plus Pants or Plan — a very special Missy quiz. Buckle up, buttercup. You won't want to miss this one.

Don't you just love Melissa? Well, Dear Listener, then this episode is for you. This week, we discuss the wonders of Missy's oceanside abode, including long lost friend reunions, sandy canines, too tall entry stairs, sequestering ourselves on the third floor and the perils of dispatching Stuart back to reality (ope! there goes gravity, ope! there goes Rabbit he choked he's so mad but he won't give up that easy no...) Then, as we often do, we ever so eventually get to the meat of the matter: Justine Bateman's face. It's a judgy critique, friends. So go easy on Amy this week. (From the sound of things, kharma won't.)

Celebrating another 'birthday week/month' with the rest of the Millenials, are we? Well, prepare to be judged, Dear Listener, 'cuz we're officially sick of it. Time to scale back your annual self-acknowledgment to a Boomer-approved cake slice accompanied by a single, yet hearty handshake. (These kids today.) From there, of course, we pivot to anal. It's all in a day's conversation on the little podcast that could (but maybe shouldn't). And, you're welcome. We're dropping this week's episode a wee bit early in deference to She Podcasts Live — where we're soaking up the virtual goodness with fellow independent female podcasters. So enjoy a few extra hours with us this week, gang. You never know what's in store next time.

Feeling psychopath-curious? Look no further than this week's shamefully relatable episode. Dear Listener: is this you? Sweeping sidewalks and city streets as if they are your own? Eshewing "group poop" with individualized walks for your multiple pets? Judging friends for ignoring obvious solutions to their probems? Ignoring the fact that you, too, behave exactly like the friends you're judging? All that, plus: Amy's neighbors head to the airport for a planeside visit with former president Donald J. Trump, complete with toddler side eye and an unsolicited Sharpie tattoo. We also delve deep into missing obituaries for people too distant to ask about, common fashion choices among teenage girls, private canine poop times and the perils of sharing phone contacts with your grown ass spouses.

Nothing like a handcrafted Face Spell to make a gal feel better about herself. Which begs the question: should Etsy be allowed to sell literal "beauty charms" as products? Amy says yes. Missy cries cult. You be the judge — who are we kidding, Dear Listener, we're definitely judging this week. All that, plus a rousing round of Would You Rather, a monkey-infused Costa Rican Recap, and Experience Amnesia.

From baby Botox to chin lifts, Morpheus laser and yellow dragon fruit, we're covering how far we'll go for beauty this week, Dear Listener. And believe you me, you'll never guess the next thing Melissa's putting in her mouth. Plus, a travel update on Ethan has him visiting a war zone, then lying to Missy about his illusion of safety (consequently expanding the war zone radius). Meanwhile, in North Carolina, there's graduation, pervert training, and yet another Costa Rican toileting update. (S the F up.)

Do you have a punchable face? Take our quiz and find out! And if that's not enough, we cover masculine energy, "IYKYK", Missy's Evil Mommy (Part 2,000), middle east security concerns, and no-bend, no-T slip on shoes (to address the untied shoelace epidemic). Join us, Dear Listener, as we briefly look back and whiplash forward on the little show that could 300 times over. Nominated for TWO Sonic Bloom Awards — really? You bet cha, buster. So tell your friends. And rate us five stars. We love you!

If you're looking to start a side hustle training crows to bring you random change they find in the park, buy oh boy do we have a show for you. This week, we cover hoarding, underwear, ayahuasca, bodily fluids, hydrating fluids and the wildest, most disconnected assortment of stream of consciousness topics your fever-dreamed minds can handle. Enjoy!

For perhaps the first time ever, Missy and Amy disagree wildly on comedy show. Missy suspects it's a Jew thing. Amy blames Charlie Brown. Who will you blame? Listen and learn, Dear Listener, and we just might offer a few bonus Unexpected Penis appearances and VIP Vomit Hall of Famers for good measure.

Is there anything more unsettling than adults behaving badly with other people's kids? Dear Listener, you be the judge as Amy and Melissa both experience many different sides of this sticky, silly, weepy, creepy situation. Too long, didn't listen: kids are fragile. Behave accordingly. And yes, we still laugh our asses off over stupid stuff and nonsense. Enjoy!

What's worse: asking close friends for money, or causing close friends to waste four otherwise productive hours of work? Spoiler Alert: Amy did one of those things this week, and Melissa did the other. Which was worse? You be the judge, Dear Listener, as you muddle through this week's epsiode, working title Failed Audio Attempt Number 3. For the record, Amy wants everyone to know that the first screw up was 100% her error. The second screw up? 200% Amy's error. The third? Well, you get the idea. Thanks for listening, kids. Promose to be better next week.

This week we're coming in HOT with Missy's unpopular opinion, more Mormon "alt sex" acts and a hearty recap of Amy's colonoscopy. How's that for shits and giggles?

If you only knew. This week, we discuss the many twists and turns of planning for a whole new you in the coming new year. That, plus strangers removing their clothing to take a dump on the side of the highway. Which kind of feels like the same thing.

A holiday pre-cap, yesteryear recap, and New Years claptrap all in one. In true Dickensian fashion, Missy is visited by the Ghost of Latkes Past. Amy continues the long slow march up Cookie Mountain (more than a thousand baked and counting). And everyone enjoys a few oddly timed cultural references to herpes, chlamydia, seasonal acne and our favorite, the Invisible Onion. Happy Holidays, everyone!

Behold, the magic of the Missy Gift. Join us, Dear Listener, as Amy bestolls the incandescent joy that is to experience such a miraculous treat. And reminds us all how much we truly suck at gift-giving in comparison. (Just in time for the holidays.)