Brilliant Observations

From a scantily clad, knife-wielding Brittany Spears-a-thon (or is it Spears-a-thong?) to the mystery ingredient in hot dogs, we've covering all things terrifying this episode. Join us as we delve into such bouncy topics as the Hundo List, adult loneliness, Tuscon on the horizon, and you guessed it, porn. What's not to love?

The Hallowieners are at it again, Dear Listener, and this time they're not even the worst of the worst we cover this week. Join us in flabberghasted awe as we giggle through the existence of Dog Doo DNA Kits, dangle death skeletal decor, Paul Simon's inexplicable mortality and the Four Personality Types (and How To Beat Them). We also cover Adults Behaving Badly, Theatre Edition, Jewish New Year, the rise of Cat Stevens (or is it Stevie Nicks?), Rick Rubin and the Creative Act, and Missy's trip down childhood memory lane (straight into the cabbage patch). Lots to love. Tell a friend.

You heard it here first, Dear Listener... just as Missy predicted, the cops got wise and sent in the dogs to finally catch the escaped Philadelphia area prisoner — but not before he made a special ghostly appearance over Amy's shoulder while recording this week. Listen in for the fright of your life (that actually turns out to be the gardener). Missy even predicted that K9 units would save the day. All that, plus magic gratitude numbers, Stuart takes his life in his hands Kitchen Edition, and Ekhart Tolle part 2 (featuring Abraham Hicks). Woo-woo!

It's a shocking turn of events this week, Dear Listener, and poor Missy is stunned into silence over Stuart's inexplicable — and uncharacteristic — inability to properly manage the three dogs. Visiting the Margate beach house takes a wild, if temporary turn. And yes, a police cruiser is involved. Rest assured, Dearest. In the end, all's well that ends well in doggy-dom. (Even if Stuart himself may never escape the doghouse again.) We also chat through the realities of semi-adult children flying the nest, the glories of a little light shoplifting (college edition), the miraculous sounds of laryngitis-tinged laughter and your favorite: turkey sandwich food porn. Where is that terrible waitress, again? Check please!

It's the vacation, vocation, medication episode, Dear Listener, complete with teen drivers behaving badly, young adults fleeing the nest, and teary-eyed besties rekindling their love affair with time, talents, and three decades' worth of friendship. Gratitude, anyone?

To ice or not to ice, Dear Listener — that is but one of our many questions this week. Like, why do we still cling to toxic relationships (with Skittles)? How are multi-level marketers still a thing? What do photos of our past lives really say about our future? And when are we finally going to reveal the murderer?! All this and so very much more will be hiariously revealed this week on your favorite true crime podcast, Brilliant Observations. Did I say true crime? I meant not true crime. Thank you, algorithm. (Is it still a lie if it's said with love?)

(Of what are you afraid?) Oh, I dunno. Sneezes, Skittles, death cleaning, failing, falling, and quite possibly burning down the house. It's a raucous, late night redo of an episode this week, Dearies. You won't want to miss it.

It was the best of toes. It was the worst of toes. Listen in as Missy reinjures her engorgement — hey now — and somehow lives to tell the tale. Spoiler alert: the story involves an iPad, three doctors and a blow torch. What? Next, Amy and Missy move on to all the adulty things you don't get enough credit for doing now that you're an adult. You know the list: cleaning out the dryer lint, confronting someone you don't want to, completely stalling out and failing to achieve or understand your life's purpose. That sort of thing. It's all shits and giggles from there, Dear Listener. Including a very special video shout out on our private Facebook group, BrillObSquad, of the bat-shittiest national anthem you have ever experienced. (Thank you, Belgium.) So don your favorite national flag cape, grab your flame-tipped sunglasses and settle in for your favorite hour with friends — Brilliant Observations.

It's around the world in 80 hours, Dear Listener, and boy do we have stories for you! Missy and Amy take to the skies to celebrate their college bestie on her 50th birthday, complete with a three mile hike straight up, beach rugby, late night pool parties and a rooftop concert. Throw in a weed store within walking distance of the rental property plus a fully stocked bar and you've got yourself one hell of a podcast. There's even a Very Special 30 Second with Amy, Murderers Edition, and a 50 States Quiz you won't want to miss. Jealous? Then JOIN US on the social @ListenBrilliant and BrillObSquad for all the juicy details.

"I don't steal stuff" and other lies kick things off this week, complete with a long list of all the ways that Amy truly, really does not steal (all that often). Oh, dear, Dear Listener. Next, Missy tackles the unsolvable problem of the crippling sloppiness of Amy's living environment. Stick with me here, gang. Gotta say, feeling real good about this show this week. (You wanted the truth!)

It's an all out CAGE MATCH this week, Dear Listener, as Missy and Amy take extreme umbrage with the powers that be at Breakfast. You heard me. It's the Post, Kellogg, General Mills, Gererica SHOWDOWN with our Heavyweight of the Cereal Aisle. We rank em. We spank em. We can't believe how much we know about em. Play along with our Best Of List, or just wring your hands as Amy retells the story of 18 Year Olds Gone Bad, Housesitting Edition. What's not to love?

Boy oh boy, Dear Listener, did we get feedback from you! So if last week's epsiode got you all riled up, you're in for a real treat. Join us as we discuss our shared admiration for the Jersey Jews, the Atlantic City Eye-talians, and of course, Justine Bateman's face. Oy. All that plus Pants or Plan — a very special Missy quiz. Buckle up, buttercup. You won't want to miss this one.

Don't you just love Melissa? Well, Dear Listener, then this episode is for you. This week, we discuss the wonders of Missy's oceanside abode, including long lost friend reunions, sandy canines, too tall entry stairs, sequestering ourselves on the third floor and the perils of dispatching Stuart back to reality (ope! there goes gravity, ope! there goes Rabbit he choked he's so mad but he won't give up that easy no...) Then, as we often do, we ever so eventually get to the meat of the matter: Justine Bateman's face. It's a judgy critique, friends. So go easy on Amy this week. (From the sound of things, kharma won't.)

Celebrating another 'birthday week/month' with the rest of the Millenials, are we? Well, prepare to be judged, Dear Listener, 'cuz we're officially sick of it. Time to scale back your annual self-acknowledgment to a Boomer-approved cake slice accompanied by a single, yet hearty handshake. (These kids today.) From there, of course, we pivot to anal. It's all in a day's conversation on the little podcast that could (but maybe shouldn't). And, you're welcome. We're dropping this week's episode a wee bit early in deference to She Podcasts Live — where we're soaking up the virtual goodness with fellow independent female podcasters. So enjoy a few extra hours with us this week, gang. You never know what's in store next time.

Feeling psychopath-curious? Look no further than this week's shamefully relatable episode. Dear Listener: is this you? Sweeping sidewalks and city streets as if they are your own? Eshewing "group poop" with individualized walks for your multiple pets? Judging friends for ignoring obvious solutions to their probems? Ignoring the fact that you, too, behave exactly like the friends you're judging? All that, plus: Amy's neighbors head to the airport for a planeside visit with former president Donald J. Trump, complete with toddler side eye and an unsolicited Sharpie tattoo. We also delve deep into missing obituaries for people too distant to ask about, common fashion choices among teenage girls, private canine poop times and the perils of sharing phone contacts with your grown ass spouses.

Nothing like a handcrafted Face Spell to make a gal feel better about herself. Which begs the question: should Etsy be allowed to sell literal "beauty charms" as products? Amy says yes. Missy cries cult. You be the judge — who are we kidding, Dear Listener, we're definitely judging this week. All that, plus a rousing round of Would You Rather, a monkey-infused Costa Rican Recap, and Experience Amnesia.

From baby Botox to chin lifts, Morpheus laser and yellow dragon fruit, we're covering how far we'll go for beauty this week, Dear Listener. And believe you me, you'll never guess the next thing Melissa's putting in her mouth. Plus, a travel update on Ethan has him visiting a war zone, then lying to Missy about his illusion of safety (consequently expanding the war zone radius). Meanwhile, in North Carolina, there's graduation, pervert training, and yet another Costa Rican toileting update. (S the F up.)

Do you have a punchable face? Take our quiz and find out! And if that's not enough, we cover masculine energy, "IYKYK", Missy's Evil Mommy (Part 2,000), middle east security concerns, and no-bend, no-T slip on shoes (to address the untied shoelace epidemic). Join us, Dear Listener, as we briefly look back and whiplash forward on the little show that could 300 times over. Nominated for TWO Sonic Bloom Awards — really? You bet cha, buster. So tell your friends. And rate us five stars. We love you!

If you're looking to start a side hustle training crows to bring you random change they find in the park, buy oh boy do we have a show for you. This week, we cover hoarding, underwear, ayahuasca, bodily fluids, hydrating fluids and the wildest, most disconnected assortment of stream of consciousness topics your fever-dreamed minds can handle. Enjoy!

For perhaps the first time ever, Missy and Amy disagree wildly on comedy show. Missy suspects it's a Jew thing. Amy blames Charlie Brown. Who will you blame? Listen and learn, Dear Listener, and we just might offer a few bonus Unexpected Penis appearances and VIP Vomit Hall of Famers for good measure.

Is there anything more unsettling than adults behaving badly with other people's kids? Dear Listener, you be the judge as Amy and Melissa both experience many different sides of this sticky, silly, weepy, creepy situation. Too long, didn't listen: kids are fragile. Behave accordingly. And yes, we still laugh our asses off over stupid stuff and nonsense. Enjoy!

What's worse: asking close friends for money, or causing close friends to waste four otherwise productive hours of work? Spoiler Alert: Amy did one of those things this week, and Melissa did the other. Which was worse? You be the judge, Dear Listener, as you muddle through this week's epsiode, working title Failed Audio Attempt Number 3. For the record, Amy wants everyone to know that the first screw up was 100% her error. The second screw up? 200% Amy's error. The third? Well, you get the idea. Thanks for listening, kids. Promose to be better next week.

This week we're coming in HOT with Missy's unpopular opinion, more Mormon "alt sex" acts and a hearty recap of Amy's colonoscopy. How's that for shits and giggles?

If you only knew. This week, we discuss the many twists and turns of planning for a whole new you in the coming new year. That, plus strangers removing their clothing to take a dump on the side of the highway. Which kind of feels like the same thing.

A holiday pre-cap, yesteryear recap, and New Years claptrap all in one. In true Dickensian fashion, Missy is visited by the Ghost of Latkes Past. Amy continues the long slow march up Cookie Mountain (more than a thousand baked and counting). And everyone enjoys a few oddly timed cultural references to herpes, chlamydia, seasonal acne and our favorite, the Invisible Onion. Happy Holidays, everyone!

Behold, the magic of the Missy Gift. Join us, Dear Listener, as Amy bestolls the incandescent joy that is to experience such a miraculous treat. And reminds us all how much we truly suck at gift-giving in comparison. (Just in time for the holidays.)

It's Nostalgic Tales of Family Meals Past, Dear Listener, and we are here for it. Join us as we wander down a culinary memory lane that neither exists in reality nor disappoints. All that plus Thanksgiving holiday recaps, female eating disorders (don't worry, it's all judgy, no triggers) and a thoughtful reminder that self care shouldn't take all that much thought.

Dear Listener... or should we say, Dear God, if you only knew what heroic lengths we went to to bring you the show this week. (Cue Melissa, "to what heroic efforts we went"...) Suffice it to say we're so grateful for you, we wouldn't dare leave you hanging on this, the week of thankie thankfulness. To you we say, sincerely, thank you. Happy Thanksgiving!

Sides, sides, everywhere are sides. From pepperoni stacks that are actually carrots to broccoli casserole, hassleback sweet potatoes and four kinds of dinner rolls, we're rolling through all the Thanksgiving prep that Wegman's can hold.

Oh, dear. Our good friend "Joyce" accidentally overhears some eye-widening content incriminating — AHeM — involving her spouse. What should she do with this ill-begotten intel? And how long must she wait until her spouse spills the beans? Odds are Joyce explodes before we ever find out. Also covered is the high cost of low brow comedy, frequency of bathing, participation trophy walkathons and Hoodie Hate. You heard me. • • • Hearing only one side of the audio? • • • Unfortunately, in my haste, I uploaded the wrong file. It's been replaced in all the feeds, so if you're hearing Amy Only, delete and redownload (or refresh your feed, or visit our webpage). And please accept my apologies for not checking the audio post-posting. This is totally my mistake. If I wasn't co-hosting the podcast, I would fire me. • • • end of mea culpa • • • Hopefully we brought you a laugh or three this week — Lord knows we certainly couldn't stop laughing. So if we did, please tell a friend to give us a listen. You can find and share any of our episodes on your favorite podcast player, including ApplePodcasts, GoodPods, Spotify, Audible, YouTube, Stitcher and LIT-turrally everywhere else you likah-ta listen. Stop by to chat on the Twitter, Insta and Facebook at @ListenBrilliant, or in our cheerful Facebook Group at BrillObSquad. Email is always [email protected]. Want some swag? Buy stickers, tees, totes and m'goats at TeePublic. Or, just support us with your cold hard cash at Patreon. It really does make a difference. Love this episode? Share it with a friend via text message, social media or word of mouth. Sharing is caring, folx. Find us everywhere as @ListenBrilliant. Like what you hear? Rate us five stars on RateThisPodcast Looking for a few likeminded souls to complain I mean CONNECT with? Join our Facebook Group at BillObsSquad and follow our show page @ListenBrilliant (Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest). Feeling old school? Send us an email at [email protected]. Or visit our show pages on podpage.com/brilliant-observations.com or brilliantobservations.com . If You Love Brilliant Observations Comedy Podcast, you might also like… If you laugh along and relate to Brilliant Observations, chances are you'll love these likeminded, strong female centric podcasts, too: She Podcasts, Libsyn's The Feed, You Are That, Mouse and Weens, I Shake My Head with Lisa and Sam, Momtourage, Comedy Bang! Bang!, BitchSesh, Smartless, Bertcast, Hello Seven, Podcast that Pays, Dear Chelsea, Office Ladies, Call Her Daddy, And That's Why We Drink, Girls Gotta Eat, The Morning Toast, The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamo, WHOREable decisions, Brilliant Idiots, Dying for Sex, In Bed with Nick and Megan, Trash Tuesday w/ Annie, & Esther, & Khalya, You've Got Nerve with Susan Hyatt, Guys We F****d, Business Fabulous with Bonny Frank, Big Happy Money with Serena Hicks, Unverified with Coral Trigger, Hello Flow with Dr. Julia Colangelo, Mouth Feelings, Guilty Pleasure, Sweaty and Pissed, Almost 30 Podcast, Terrible Thanks for Asking, Women of the Hour, Boobies and Newbies, Podbroads, and dozens of others. Find and follow them all in the Girl Got Mic group on Twitter or on the GoodPods app. And if you don't see a show you should, by all means, ADD IT. Penny for your Thoughts?Full disclosure: there is no penny. If you've got four minutes to kill, we'd love for you to waste it taking our Listener Demographic Survey. We'll use this data to fashion hand-crafted macaroni scultures of historic female librarians. And possibly to appease our soon-to-be sponsors. It's all anonymous, kids, so please be honest. You can find the survey here:https://bit.ly/BrilliantObservations Want even more Brilliant Observations?Join our newly formed email list by sending the word SERIOUSLY to [email protected]. We promise not to sell or spam. Or to sell spam. Because that's just gross. Did you miss the part where you can contact us? Here is it again, just in case you want to join the nonsense online @ListenBrilliant, @BrillObsSquad, www.BrilliantObservations.com, or [email protected]. Find swag at TeePublic.com/BrilliantObservations, or support us at patreon.com/BrilliantObservations. Our goal this month is to add one new subscriber each day. Will that be you Dear Listener? If you have an iPhone just ask Siri to "subscribe to Brilliant Observations podcast for free." Or preserve the economy for human jobs and do it yourself. Visit Apple iTunes and search Podcasts for Brilliant Observations, then under the show graphic, click Subscribe. And now, we tag: January 6 committee, Roe v Wade, SCOTUS reversal, SCOTUS overturned, separation of church and state, bodily autonomy, reproductive freedom, NRA now, Peleton, comedy, podcast for women, podcasts for women, friends, girlgotmic, ladypodsquad, podern family, podcast movement, podfest, sex, relationships, chat, unfiltered, radio, fun, happy, happiness, boobs, dogs,

From Thanksgiving pregaming to Marvel-inspired spiritual exploration, we dig in on lots of fronts simultaneously this week. And we even manage a Lyrical Gangsta Challenge for Missy. What more could you possibly want? Oh, right. Cover art. Soon, kittens. Very soon.