Brilliant Observations

Ever wonder how conspiracy theories and complex, multisystem traumas get their start? Let's ask Melissa's Mom. You sincerely won't believe this one, Gang. No spoilers, but you might never see the Clean Plate Club the same way again. All that, plus the wonders of evening weed, New York Times Games round up, the true purpose of luxury items, fake influencers, berries at Erewhon, and the endlessly fascinating weirdness of Utah "dating."

Looking for a gentler way to fall asleep than My Chemical Romance? Don't use this episode — unless laughing is your favorite way to drift off (see what we did there?). Join us as we recap a raucus Bat Mitzvah among friends, some gentle penis humor, and a few favorite accounts you have to see on TikTok.

If you're looking for a man in Finance, Trust Fund, 6'5", blue eyes, then keep looking. All we got here is a Waffle House training manual, the world's weirest obiturary and a long-overdue congressional censure. Serve that up with a lil no-tip salami and a brief dive into dating before cell phones, and you've got yourself a podcast. There's laughs here, friends. Dig in.

Holy Suprise Audio Feed Swap, Batman! Amy FUHG!-azi strikes again with a badly mangled cable connection resulting in some seriously compromized audio for this week's show. Try as we might, Dear Listener, we were only able to clean things up so much. Then again, you like it a lil dirty, don't you? Either way, Amy sincerely apologizes for once again falling victim to the Universe's highjinks. Swear she'll get 'em next time, folks. Meanwhile, enjoy our weekly recap of milestone moments like college graduation, the perils of engaging with social media, GoFundMe and the Broh-letariat, and a sudden aligning of the planets. Juicy stuff!

Which came first: the two drink maximum or shooting a dog in the face? And to think, these aren't even the most controversial things we joke about this week. Join us for a rousing conversation that includes ill-suited funeral home administrators, voting stickers, Middle East unrest, avoidng your life's purpose and (everyone's favorite), "Tubby People." It's every bit as weird, free-ranging and surprisingly metaphysical as you think. Just one more reason to love us.

The things this woman makes me say on behalf of your entertainment. Lord help us.

From Thoughtful Shoppery to creative tax code interpretation, exposing toxic espoinnage networks and raw pork hostess gifts, Amy laments the reputational erosion this podcast expands each and every week. Meanwhile, Missy's self-diagnosed neurospiciness takes center stage with her approach to secret keeping, tax preparation, protein consumption and New York sports teams. Far reaching topics connected only through nonsequitors? Perhaps. Hilariously relatable? Always.

Suns and Moons merging together, garbage and valuables co-mingling at every turn, and longtime friends who suddenly reveal their depthlessly shallow hearts. It's a world gone MAD, Dear Listener, and this week's episode is here for it. Join us as we recap the Eclipse, including the physical effects of witnessing a mass lunar wedding (blech!). Then, there's the main event — the Watch List, a special category where once cherished relationships reveal their critical flaws, only to slide off into the abyss. OoooOooOoooo, JUICY!

It's Grievance Week, Dear Listener, and both Amy and Missy came ready to grouse. How better to begin than a full-throated rebuke of famed finger-wagger herself, the one and only Mel Robbins. Listen with head-shaking joy as Amy loses her damn mind over Mel Robbins' most recent episode, featuring the world's most saliva-packed special guest. If that wasn't enough, Melissa launches her nukes at a disingenuous family of influencers looking to capitalize on their son's (ahem) "medical condition." He's a picky eater, folks. All that, plus a rousing game of Is This Racist (GenX Edition) and a limited edition segment we're calling "Australia—Enough with the Genitals." There's TV recommendations, verbal gaffs, hoots, snorts and lots of laughs. Give this one a listen or a share if you're so inclined. You won't be disappointed.

How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? Well, when the starting point for licks is Melissa's son after a Balinese holiday and the Tootsie Roll center is an unwrapped toilet seat, I'm guessing it takes more than three. Join us as we chat through Aboriginal Gratitude, the state of Israel, the Selective Logic of the Qanon Collective, and disgruntled gift recipients. It's all there, Dear Listener. And all you have to do is press play.

Oh, G-blank-D, Dear Listener, do we have a show for you. There's frivolous lawsuits. There's religious superstition. There's orgasm pills, TikTok scams and wildly overpriced butter. There's even a botched execution that turns out to be a heartwarming tale of "I bet you didn't see that coming." And if that wasn't enough, we even throw in some nonsensical anecdotes from the teenage clown around gang. Interested? You betcha. Time for another Brilliant Observations, kids!

Happy Feet had his heartsong. The rest of us, if Mallory's college classmate is to be trusted, have a Poopsong. And the lucky few? A Pooping Playlist. You know. For those very long, very strenuous "moments." And with that, we're back to our old tricks, Dear Listener, with plenty of silly, sing-songy, potty humory talkie talk for your listening pleasure. Do we also manage to dabble in politics, however briefly? Why yes, yes we do. But only as long as it takes to lace a pair of solid gold sneakers. We also cover the magic of aging, the importance of a proper Swedish Death Clean and Amy's bout with ayahuaska (caribe edition). Clip in, friends! It's one hell of a ride!

We've had a bit of a viral moment on TikTok this week, Dear Listener, and wouldn't you know it's about some questionable activity (wholly endorsed). What can I say? Sometimes the things in my head come out of my face. And in this case, the things coming out of my face happened in the bathroom. Interested? Then listen on, Dear Listener — this episode is for you. Topics covered include All Things Underpants (from going commando to carrying a spare pair to stray toilet paper mysteriously stuck to the wall), the phenomenon of TikTok sensation ReesaTeesa, and our personal favorite, Credit Card Fraud: How Would You Do It? We posed this HYPOTHETICAL question on TikTok in hopes of crowd sourcing some answers, and boy did the internet deliver. Check us out on TikTok at your own risk. And just in case no one's told you this today, we love giving joke advice, which is not the same as actual advice to you or your loved ones. This show is for entertainment purposes only. The thoughts and views expressed are not legal advice, or medical advice, or lifestyle advice, or any advice worth listening to, frankly. Funk around and find out rules apply.

You've heard of snakes on a plane. Welp, there's no preparing you for what these Amsterdamians decided to transport. Continuing with the Animals Gone Wild theme, Missy shares news of the world's first (potentially) immaculate conception, sting-ray style. Just as scripture foretold, this too leaves us guessing as to who done messed with that unsuspecting lady. (My money's on the shark.) All that plus Weed Goes to the Theatre, Weed Goes to Work and Weeeeeee All the way Home. Join us for a laugh, won't you?

It's Valentine's Day week, Dear Listener, and we'd like to be the first to tell you how much genuine LOVE and appreciation we feel for your laughs, shares, well-wishes and attention episode after heartfelt episode. Sending bladder-straining giggles your way is the honor and highlight of our week. More news and notes to come! For now, biggest love to you and yours.

Talk about a Money Corner! Holy Listener Feedback, Dear Listener. We peed all over you last week, and boy did you respond. (Don't worry if you missed it — you can always give last week's episode a listen if you're looking for a raucous laugh.) "Back to the car." Do you know which social media platform is most used by adults? Indeed you do not, Dear Listener, as Melissa so shockingly clarifies for us this week. It's all part of the rough-and-tumble chaos of life in the junk drawer, I guess. Happy listening!

It's a horror show, kids, at least it was around the beautiful Sonic Bloom Awards banquet table during the She Podcasts Unplugged! event in concert with PodFest 2024. And yet, despite the unsolicited (geriatric) pick up lines, latent latex balloon smell and traumatic special-effect makeup photos, the most exciting thing we saw at this year's extraordinary event was how to optimize your podcast workflow using artificial intelligence. Honestly, you think we would have investigated this option sooner given how strained our biological intelligence has been lately. Bah DAH cha! Seriously, Dear Listener. For this episode, we tasked AI with the challenge of writing 5 sample titles with accompanying 100 word blurbs for use as show notes. Here is, word for word, what the computer spit out: The Worst Pickup Lines (and Other Orlando Mishaps) Melissa and Amy recap their eventful trip to a women in podcasting conference, which included being subjected to cringeworthy pickup lines from older men at the hotel bar. They also share hilarious stories of laughter-induced urination, getting accosted with graphic images, and the overall quirky escapades of their "velveteen rabbity" Orlando getaway. Holding in Laughter and Pee: Our Crazy Orlando Trip Through uncontrollable laughter, Melissa and Amy recount wetting themselves numerous times during their women in podcasting conference in Orlando. From horrifying bathroom smells to inappropriate overshares from strangers to questionable travel snafus, their eventful trip offered plenty of comedic fodder, despite the lackluster hotel amenities and odd mishmash of conference attendees. The Time We Peed Our Pants Laughing in Orlando Melissa and Amy recap the nonstop hilarity during their women's podcasting conference trip to Orlando, from getting hit on by overly confident men at bars to a stranger ambushing them with graphic images. Their days were filled with laughing so hard they peed their pants, yelling at people out of fear, and enjoying each other's company amidst the quirky escapades. Strange Pickup Lines and Public Peeing: Our Orlando Adventure During their women's podcasting conference getaway, Melissa and Amy were in stitches recounting ridiculous pickup attempts from men at hotel bars along with uncontrollably laughing until they wet themselves...in public! From horrifying bathroom smells to graphic photo ambushes, their overnight trip was filled with hilarious mishaps and lots of laughter. One Wild and Crazy Orlando Trip Melissa and Amy recap their eventful Orlando trip chock-full of laughter, escapades and hijinks - from cringeworthy pickup lines from men to uncontrollable giggling that led to public peeing. Despite a questionable hotel stay and odd conference attendees, they made the most of it, supporting their friend and enjoying time together, even if it meant getting ambushed by a stranger's graphic images! And if you think that's cool, consider telling a friend about our show. You can find us on all the socials at @ListenBrilliant, or on your preferred podcast player as Brilliant Observations Podcast. We'd love a follow on TikTok as well, as we're trying to get more intentional about posting behind the scenes videos there for your listening enjoyment. See you next week! Special thanks to the Sonic Bloom Awards for our nomination to multiple categories and exciting, humbling win as Best Podcast Cohosts of 2024 Shoutout to Jessica Kupferman, Elsie Escobar and the whole crew at She Podcasts for the amazing sessions, speakers, parties, after-parties, balloons, soundtrack, cheese tray and tiny cherry-centered creme pastry things that kinda looked like little alien nipples but were startlingly delicious at She Podcasts Unplugged, the only live event for She Podcasts in 2024 Full credit to Unfuck Your Business Podcast for the podcast workflow tips using AI. Definintely check them out if you're looking for resources, brand consulting or podcast marketing support.

This just in: life's not fair, Dear Listener... right down to the range of personal greetings doled out at the local supermarket. But just like sanitation codes at the bulk bean display, Amy won't let a little thing like fairness stop her from barrelling through this world with a fist in the air in defence of the smile in her heart. Laugh along with us this week as we cover abbreviations as disconnected as DMV snubs, NFL team names, VIP shopping status and OG GPS SOBs. All that, plus Missy loses her mind with the world's longest silent laugh. Not neessarily great for pod, but just the thing for those of you laughing along at home.

$120 manicures lead Missy to question everything — including Amy's apparent fetish with sliding her fingers into unwashed bean barrels at the corner deli. It's a thing. Right? See the video for yourself on TikTok: ListenBrilliant All that, plus Missy says goodbye, sort of, to the boy as he flies off to Australia. Depending on when you download this episode, he may still be in the air. (Just kidding. He's confirmed it's a G'day Down Undah.)

We're growing our audience on TikTok, Dear Listener, so we've placed a little behind the scenes video there for your enjoyment. Hop on over to ListenBrilliant (on any of the socials, really) for a peek at Missy and Amy as they attempt to solve the latest crime thriller: who pooped on Missy's driveway?

It's Microwave Mania, Dear Listener, as the Brilliant Household bares its disfunctional soul for all to hear. Not to be outdone, Biohazard Amy makes another unscheduled, yet inexplicable appearance. And Melissa continues her yearly Crusade against Christmas "Culture." Screw you, Santa.

We're shooting squirrels and picking up girls, Dear Listener, so why not load up on the bad decisions, grab your favorite friend by the cheeks and give em a great big smooch on the mouth! Or maybe take our New Year's Prompt to heart and consider not doing any of that stuff... and decide instead to look forward as you look back. What will you Stop doing in 2024? What will you Start doing? We certainly know what you'll Continue doing — and that's listening to our beloved show. Find us on TikTok just as soon as we start videotaping our recordcing sessions. Note to future self: must Start. Must Start. Must Start.

If ever you've wondered when it was time to stop doing what you're doing, try reading your mail. Brilliant Observations Administrative Team receives a surprising Cease and Desist letter from a loser with no ideas. And Missy takes decisive action. Plus, big shocker, Amy finds herself a little too mouthy with just about everyone. But don't worry, kids. It all works out in the end.

It's the Fancy Pants episode, Dear Listener, replete with holiday tips and tricks for shaming fellow passengers on international flights. Hot cocoa recipes, dueling cheese straws, jingle bells, men's footwear fashion, and all the lighthearted conversation you'd expect among strangers at a holiday party. Pull out your fancy sweatpants, kids. This one's special! Plus, Missy slides down skanky sponge mountain. And Amy shares how (once again) to continuously operate a vehicle without a single drop of gas. Bonus Content! Ho-Ho-Who Let This Grinch Come To The Party? Amy attends a client's (dry) end of year gathering, only to be cornered by a disgruntled stranger ready to unload a year's worth of feedback. Good thing she pretended to be someone else.

To Be (right) or Not To Be (rude), that, Dear Listener, is the question we tackle this week, along with a healthy dose of Who Needs Evidence?, Guess This Postal MESS, and the Florida Follies! Are you ready? How could you be. Join Melissa and Amy for another lighthearted romp through their post-Thanksgiving-holiday week, including airplane shenanigans, mildly senile parents, and one very special weekend for the boy across the pond. Get the tissues ready. Not that way. Ew.

Dear Listener, do you suffer from Resting Bitch Face? Boy, do we have the internal oral massage for you (with gloves, of course). Laugh in moderate disgust as we joke our way through the glories of wrinkle-reducing face tape, broken Thanksgiving ovens, spilled cocktails and the endlessly fascinting people that you meet at the Dispensary (Family Edition). Wanna hear the full Thanksgiving menu? Complete details, tasting notes and a hint at preparation methods at the very tail end of the show. It's an apple cider brined turkey, y'all. Shut yo damn mouth.

Looking for an old-fashioned antidote to all those Thanksgiving blessings? Try the Catholic method and focus on CONFESSING! Amy kicks things off with several low-grade felonies, including retail fraud and vehicular wrecklessness. Then Missy joins the fun with a free-wheeling endorsement of this week's spa-based "treatment," the exotic Six Hands Massage. It's a thing. Sibian much? Happy Thanksgiving, Dear Listener. If you can make it all the way to the end, hear Missy tear up as we describe in vivid detail just how grateful we are for you. Now go spread some love, ya filthy animals!

Two things can be true, Dear Listener. First, Missy donates her hard-won discretionary time — at great personal risk, we might add — for the betterment of democracy. And, Missy realizes she's currently living in the Best Time of Her Life. Is this is a disconnect? Has she somehow diassociated from the throngs of far-too-easily ruffled eligible voters of southern Pennsylvania? Nah. She's just grateful for everything these days. Especially banana taffy. Share this episode with a friend. Or better yet, make a new one by sharing the entire show. Just text someone who loves to laugh and tell them to give Brilliant Observations a try. We're grateful for you. Now let's get TOSSED!

Best names ever, the art and science of being a poor sport, plus a special trip to Shartford, Connecticut. We cover it all this week, Dear Listener, and just in time for the weekend (even though with Daylight Savings Time and jet lag it should really be...) Special shoutout to the lovely "asshats" (surely she didn't say "asshat") at the Mindful Mavens podcast — give them a listen for peaceful, enlightened conversation. Grateful for you, kids. Mean it.

Ever have a "friend" act more like a rabid raccoon? It's a Write-In Mystery this week, Dear Listener, and as predicted, Amy and Missy love not to help. Hear our off the cuff advice for a Listener suffering the indignities of an over-stepper doing a little too much helping himself-ing. Plus, the 80s theme 50th birthday party featuring karaoke is a huge hit. So why is Melissa so mad? Oh, that's right. Because Amy refuses to do anything she's told. Surprise, surprise! All this and still so much more. Give us a listen! You're gonna like the way you look.

Can you believe it? It's Skimpy Sequin Season, Dear Listener, which means everything from sacred relious ceremonies to time-honored teen traditions are awash in too short, too sheer, too sparkly and too shocking "formal" wear. All of which leads us to lament the untimely death of Suzanne Somers (as you do), sample new and various weed gummies, and partially report on the latest family scandal. (It's a doozy!) So what say you? Are you ready for some scandalous whoremongering? Of course you are. Why do we even ask?

What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? How often we take it for granted. Ride along with us as we explore all the ways we can tap into joy, effortlessly uplift each other, find the unfiltered laugh, call happiness to us in everyday life, and expand the dense and infinitely available goodness that flows all around us in this fractured world. Give it a try. You never know what it will change. And it case it wasn't patently obvious, we stand with Israel. We stand with Jews. We condemn terrorists and terrorism in all its forms. Speak out for Jews, and #standuptoJewishhate. Your friends are listening.

Looking for a laugh this week? Boy, did you come to the right place! We're talking all things light, breezy, and lemon-squeezy this week, including a healthy mistrust of celebrity, the beloved Deborah Gibson, and (you guessed it) a recurring fascination with the anal region. Why listen to anything else? Celebrate life. Embrace joy. Love your neighbor. Love your other neighbor. And find happiness wherever you can. The world needs you!

From a scantily clad, knife-wielding Brittany Spears-a-thon (or is it Spears-a-thong?) to the mystery ingredient in hot dogs, we've covering all things terrifying this episode. Join us as we delve into such bouncy topics as the Hundo List, adult loneliness, Tuscon on the horizon, and you guessed it, porn. What's not to love?

The Hallowieners are at it again, Dear Listener, and this time they're not even the worst of the worst we cover this week. Join us in flabberghasted awe as we giggle through the existence of Dog Doo DNA Kits, dangle death skeletal decor, Paul Simon's inexplicable mortality and the Four Personality Types (and How To Beat Them). We also cover Adults Behaving Badly, Theatre Edition, Jewish New Year, the rise of Cat Stevens (or is it Stevie Nicks?), Rick Rubin and the Creative Act, and Missy's trip down childhood memory lane (straight into the cabbage patch). Lots to love. Tell a friend.

You heard it here first, Dear Listener... just as Missy predicted, the cops got wise and sent in the dogs to finally catch the escaped Philadelphia area prisoner — but not before he made a special ghostly appearance over Amy's shoulder while recording this week. Listen in for the fright of your life (that actually turns out to be the gardener). Missy even predicted that K9 units would save the day. All that, plus magic gratitude numbers, Stuart takes his life in his hands Kitchen Edition, and Ekhart Tolle part 2 (featuring Abraham Hicks). Woo-woo!

It's a shocking turn of events this week, Dear Listener, and poor Missy is stunned into silence over Stuart's inexplicable — and uncharacteristic — inability to properly manage the three dogs. Visiting the Margate beach house takes a wild, if temporary turn. And yes, a police cruiser is involved. Rest assured, Dearest. In the end, all's well that ends well in doggy-dom. (Even if Stuart himself may never escape the doghouse again.) We also chat through the realities of semi-adult children flying the nest, the glories of a little light shoplifting (college edition), the miraculous sounds of laryngitis-tinged laughter and your favorite: turkey sandwich food porn. Where is that terrible waitress, again? Check please!

It's the vacation, vocation, medication episode, Dear Listener, complete with teen drivers behaving badly, young adults fleeing the nest, and teary-eyed besties rekindling their love affair with time, talents, and three decades' worth of friendship. Gratitude, anyone?

To ice or not to ice, Dear Listener — that is but one of our many questions this week. Like, why do we still cling to toxic relationships (with Skittles)? How are multi-level marketers still a thing? What do photos of our past lives really say about our future? And when are we finally going to reveal the murderer?! All this and so very much more will be hiariously revealed this week on your favorite true crime podcast, Brilliant Observations. Did I say true crime? I meant not true crime. Thank you, algorithm. (Is it still a lie if it's said with love?)

(Of what are you afraid?) Oh, I dunno. Sneezes, Skittles, death cleaning, failing, falling, and quite possibly burning down the house. It's a raucous, late night redo of an episode this week, Dearies. You won't want to miss it.

It was the best of toes. It was the worst of toes. Listen in as Missy reinjures her engorgement — hey now — and somehow lives to tell the tale. Spoiler alert: the story involves an iPad, three doctors and a blow torch. What? Next, Amy and Missy move on to all the adulty things you don't get enough credit for doing now that you're an adult. You know the list: cleaning out the dryer lint, confronting someone you don't want to, completely stalling out and failing to achieve or understand your life's purpose. That sort of thing. It's all shits and giggles from there, Dear Listener. Including a very special video shout out on our private Facebook group, BrillObSquad, of the bat-shittiest national anthem you have ever experienced. (Thank you, Belgium.) So don your favorite national flag cape, grab your flame-tipped sunglasses and settle in for your favorite hour with friends — Brilliant Observations.

It's around the world in 80 hours, Dear Listener, and boy do we have stories for you! Missy and Amy take to the skies to celebrate their college bestie on her 50th birthday, complete with a three mile hike straight up, beach rugby, late night pool parties and a rooftop concert. Throw in a weed store within walking distance of the rental property plus a fully stocked bar and you've got yourself one hell of a podcast. There's even a Very Special 30 Second with Amy, Murderers Edition, and a 50 States Quiz you won't want to miss. Jealous? Then JOIN US on the social @ListenBrilliant and BrillObSquad for all the juicy details.

"I don't steal stuff" and other lies kick things off this week, complete with a long list of all the ways that Amy truly, really does not steal (all that often). Oh, dear, Dear Listener. Next, Missy tackles the unsolvable problem of the crippling sloppiness of Amy's living environment. Stick with me here, gang. Gotta say, feeling real good about this show this week. (You wanted the truth!)

It's an all out CAGE MATCH this week, Dear Listener, as Missy and Amy take extreme umbrage with the powers that be at Breakfast. You heard me. It's the Post, Kellogg, General Mills, Gererica SHOWDOWN with our Heavyweight of the Cereal Aisle. We rank em. We spank em. We can't believe how much we know about em. Play along with our Best Of List, or just wring your hands as Amy retells the story of 18 Year Olds Gone Bad, Housesitting Edition. What's not to love?

Boy oh boy, Dear Listener, did we get feedback from you! So if last week's epsiode got you all riled up, you're in for a real treat. Join us as we discuss our shared admiration for the Jersey Jews, the Atlantic City Eye-talians, and of course, Justine Bateman's face. Oy. All that plus Pants or Plan — a very special Missy quiz. Buckle up, buttercup. You won't want to miss this one.