Brilliant Observations

Holy Saliva, Batman! It's a dental dayum this week, Dear Listener, as Amy gets the most thorough hygenic event evah. Missy embraces Majong. And we all join the hunt for protein that has overtaken the world. Confectionary Easter Tomb, anyone? Happy bunnies and locusts to those who celebrate. We love having you here.

It's an emotional Free For All at the Hot Box this week, Dear Listener, and Missy has lived to tell the tale. All that, plus the Delusional Lies Men Tell Themselves (Amy Edition) and Baby Waves Goodbye to her favorite Medium. Where else could you pack so much fun into a short one hour and one minutes?

Oh Ethan Hawk, we're so so tired of you, even when you say such beautiful things. Missy discovers a reverse technology telephone, and, considers using it to call one or more deadbeat girlfriends who stiffed her on the bill. Amy meets a septugenarian without a working member. And everyone enjoys another opportunity to chuckle at this bizarre spectacle we call life.

The SWATs keep on coming, America, and Missy is kinda over it. Stuart pays a visit to the front door in his underwear. And Amy shares a series of unfortunate events that even she wonders why she shared. To quote the world watching the state of geopolitics today, "what are we doing?" Listen and learn, Dear Listener. (Learn what not to do.)

It's springtime, Dear Listener, and the boys refuse to wear their condoms. But never fear — Missy is ready for the pivot. Hallmark After Dark returns with a glorious reframe as Missy envisions a whole new way to explore the carnal side of the kingdom. (But don't blow in the hole, kids. It's dangerous. Because Science.) We travel to foreign lands this week and listen with envy as Missy dives deep into the everyday joys of ordinary life. What more could you want? If you said sex, you're in the right place. Kinda.

It's STADIUM MADNESS Week, Dear Listener, with myriad tales of sports spectation gone awry. SCHPORTZ! Punched by a stranger in public, the kids rebound by winning the game. Missy initiates physical contact with the Concessions Team... again... and we both dive deep into the sewer. Who knew? I didn't even mention the most surprising thing to go into Amy's mouth this week. Wait for it. Worth it.

Oh, the siliness of our deeply bumpy brains. It's Brazilian Carnivale season, Dear Listener, and even those bare bottomed beauties are not enough to lure Amy out of the Heated Rivalry cuckhold that currently dominates her mindspace. (Not to worry. Missy cuts all that out.) Skipping ahead to the lies we tell ourselves, we wander through the Forest of Dark Thoughts only to emerge on Cottage Cheese Beach arm in arm. Loving you more than you think this week, Dearest Follower. And now, an ask: can you send Missy a smile? Insta, TikTok, Facebook: listenbrilliant. Email: [email protected] .

Missy meets a cash-toting stranger on her front porch and happily lives to tell the tale (for once, Stuart and Amy are on the ESSSHthaccct ShhhhAme Payyge). Missy's Ambien-induced shopping takes a heartwarming turn. And Amy slathers her soul in liquid butter. It's binge-listening at it's finest, Dear Listener, with plenty of innuendo, intrigue and closed circuit TV footage to keep things interesting. Chuckles and love, sweet peeps.

If the internet has taught us anything it's that cameras are everywhere, Dear Listener. And boy howdy do they love pancakes. Join us as we discuss directional flatulence, sexy smoking, the Real Housewives of the Main Line and Missy's favorite new word. It's been a week, friends. And we're here for it.

Stiff nipples, the specter of nudity and proud venereal disease test results combine in this nonsensical wintry mix, and can we just say we're here for all of it, Dear Listener. So shake off those shivery duldrums and indulge in a cheery chat about all things silly. It's the laugh you need to jumpstart your week. Love it. Love you. Clothes and all.

Snowpacalypse. Sandwhiches of Many Lands. And texts we'd rather not be a part of. What more could you wish for this week, Dear Listener, except maybe... maybe... even more Heated Rivaly perversion. Will it ever end? We hope not. Meantime, please remember to shine brightest in your little corner of the world. You never know who relies upon you to feel the light. Love you. Mean it.

It's a Heated Rivalry takeover, Dear Listener, with tales of German funk stank, ladies scooping for gold and the sexiest of date night meals, the tuna melt. Missy leads us through a game of Guess Who's In the Orange Jumpsuit Crew. And Amy recaps her Italian visit with sights, sounds and yes, truly authentic smells inspired by Ilya and Shane themselves. There's love, there's sex, there's an abundance of cheese (all kinds). Join us, won't you? Promise to make you laugh.

Celebrity guest Jessica Kupferman discussed Heated Rivalry, Fish, and Internet Revenge Posting. Enjoy!

Stranger Things gets stranger still as the gals recap their New Year. Amy goes on a seafood deep dive. Missy works through the perils of the mixed company New Year's Eve table. And Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen bring us all down with yet another cat butt bummer of a ball drop. (Bless em.)

Oh my gosh my golly, Dear Listener, Amy is wandering into parked cars by mistake again. Will wonders never cease? Missy regails us with visions of positivity, and reveals the suprising truth about your most toxic trait (hint: it's not butthole hair). We each select our favorite Muppet to explore in a new way, and Missy covers the world's weirdest AITA. And just like that, 2025 sees its last episode for the year.

Hapy Hanukah, Merry Christmas and a Joyous Festivus to the Rest of Us, Dear Listener. We're serving up this special silliness with just you mind. So plug in, press play and let the nonsense of the moment drift for a bit. We couldn't be prouder to share this with you. SWEAR.

This may very well be the best episode you ever listen to in your life. No hyperbole. Complete truth. I'd love to tell you to skip right to the best part, at minute 25:20, but in all honesty the build up is pretty good, too. So here's the thing. Missy has achieved a significant life goal almost completely by accident. Is it devious? Of course. Is it fair? Not in the slightest. Is it absolutely hilarious? Dear Listener, have you met her? If only we could enjoy this without the four year penalty involved for Pennsylania's Most Favored Son. Happy Tax Season, kids!

Holy Roadside Assistance, Dear Listener. MIssy's boy man does AAA one better with a serious act of skill-based chivalry. Team Brilliant recounts their annual attempt at photo magnetism. And Amy laments the unadorned sadness of Christmas in Southtown (Bah, Humbug.) Round it out with a rousing round of World's Best Donut and you've got yourself a friendship. Love you, peeps. Mean it.

Positive vibes abound as Amy doubles down on the reality bending virtue of thinking happy thoughts. The fun continues as Amy discovers a newfound fascination with nipples this week, and Missy is, shall we say... uncomfortable. And we both look behind us with 20/20 vision to meals and moments of Thanksgiving past. All that, plus: Melissa rekindles her hatred of Oprah, welcomes a new friend to the family, and laments the good old days when both farts and smoking weed happened outside.

Move over, Israel Kamakawiwo'ole, there's a new strummer girl coming round the Bend. Missy double checks her list of favorite dopamine hits, while Amy struggles to overcome Chairgate.

Oh America, must you? This week, we cover the much anticipated Mountain Dew Baja Blast Pie, aka seasonal, 8-serving colon prep. Missy attends the Bat Mitzvah of the Ages. And Amy battles unseen enemies like dead ladybugs, aerosolized jalapeno oil and straight up tap water.

And you thought Amy was a thief. Cat Burglar takes on a whole new meaning this week, Dear Listener, as Melissa brings tales of grabby renters gone awry. All that, plus fecal transfers (tips and tricks!), Halloweeners, assholery at concerts and the new glasses finally make an appearance.

Why do Incels have to ruin everything? It's a world gone mad, Dear Listener, with the Amish (of all peoples) in standing up for their rights. Amy saunters past the Costco in protest. And Missy wonders aloud how a simple reframe is all it takes to turn Failure To Launch into the new Side Hustle.

Naming conventions, unhappy Republicans and a Coach for all Comers. All this ya whore, on today's Brilliant Observations. Do doo doo do, doooooOooooooOooo!!!

The first rule of Robot Fight Club is don't talk about Bad Bunny headlining the Superbowl Half Time Show (because, honestly? just shut up). Missy explores the dark side of personal Coaches for All The Things. Amy muses on the opportunities of October. And we both share a giggle about life at Camp Dog Hair.

A tale of two dentists. Foiled again by luxurious packaging, Amy unwittingly buys geriatric floss from her once beloved brand, Cocolab (shame! shame! shame!). Melissa puts her own spin on Schrodinger's Cat with Asperger's Periodontist, aka her local tooth shop staffed by Drs. Butterfingers and Vacusuck. The story, you guys. I can't. Just play it. Trust me. It's thooooooooorrrrrrroooooouuugggggghhhhhh. All this ya whore, on today's Brilliant Observations.

What do you do when your friend asked to bring her "charmingly exhuberant" child to stay for a week or so? Listen and learn as Missy adds a new word to her vocabulary. All that, plus funeral friends, Jews in Church and surprise feedback from you, Dear Listener. Chuckle up, Buttercup!

It's episode 420, Dear Listener, and we must be high to laugh this hard. This week, we explore the unusual topic of Straight Male Gaycationing, RFK's latest vac-attack, and everyone's favorite, the World Gone Mad. Add in a lil teenagers behaving badly, low bladder control and profoundly felt love, and you've got yourself a podcast.

Holy Guacamole, Dear Listener! We've been through the ringer this week, but at least we're back in action with a jaunty episode filled with homegrown shock and awe. Missy and Amy take to the sand to set Margate straight after the renters evacuate. And the world slows just a bit to gawk at unruly mothers and shocking behaviors on Netflix. We cap it all off with a rousing round of LISTENER FEEDBACK you won't want to miss.

Oh my gosh, you guys, this show. It's so funny. Especially the part where we talk about creepy med techs who deeply require training in bedside manner. Then there's friends, talking, football, silliness, gagging (sorry) and speculation about the health of current inhabitant of the Oval Office. A girl can dream.

Feeling pretty smug, are we Dear Listener? Well, shame me not for my 65,000 inbox emails. I'm too busy doing the Lord's work to open your "please subscribe to my blog" email. And by busy, I of course mean chasing wolf spiders, playing Fishdom, and arguing over the proper use of the Oxford comma (see what I did there?). From Victorian fish forks to Cutwater canned vodka to vaginal spelunking, we skewer it all this week. Join us on a perilous romp through all the shocking foibles befalling modern society today. And yea, I kinda did say it.

Tomato sandwiches, dead deer and a whole heaping helping of giggly, googly eyed fun. All this and as the list-lipped mesothelioma lady says, so much more, on today's Brilliant Observations.

Holy chemical stimulation, Batman! Missy and Amy wander down sexual performance enhancement lane this week, Dear Listener, along with a full review of the flingable dildos spotted recently at the W-MBA. It's almost as fun as taking an edible at dinner. Hey, now!

Scotty Scheffler may know who he is, but as for Amy, she's still learning, Dear Listener. This week, we cover Hinge dating, the visual appeal of applying serums and Drive By Carb-ing. Bowl of Prop Cereal, anyone?

Beach houses, human teeth collections and circular diahhrea. Just another day in paradise, Dear Listener, and per usual we're here for it. We cover the passing of Ozzy Ozbourne, animal cremains and the long list of people's names Amy has no chance of remembering. Sprinkle in a bit of homespun wisdom, potty humor and lighthearted feminist manifesto and you've got yourself a show, folks.

Once again, Melissa goes out of her way to make Amy look bad by allowing Amy's mic to record and broadcast the exact things she says with her own mouth. Amy learns (refutes?) the lies behind the rules our parents told us as children. Missy learns how many songs make other people think of her. And we both discuss the C-suite homewreckers caught canoodling in pubic in front of then entire world (without their consent). Ahh, me. It's a rollick this week, Dear Listener. Promise.

Time to take yer teets out somewhere salty. The summer is closing, Dear Listener, and as we al know, it can only last as long as it can last. Missy Navy Seal breathes through the struggle as the kids laze, the eyes glaze and TVs on every floor blast Love Island: Creepy and Rapey Edition. Plus, Melissa shares an uplifting tale of solidarity and love courtesy of a Houston Yoga studio (creepy and rapey edition).

Amy cuts a solid six inches off her hair and literally no one notices. Missy violates the terms and conditions of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. And we both attempt to decompress whilst upholding the rapidly loosening rules of polite society. Kinda.

It's the Poop Cruise plus Pee Wee, Dear Listener, and boy do we have opinions for you. Missy draws a hard line in the litter box over floating public vacations. Amy doubles down with her side-eye over Paul Reubens' questionable collections. And we both reminisce over the joys of time with family, salt air and silliness.

Aggressive athletics, with Melissa. This week, our fair friend finds herself (once again) challenged on the Atlantic City boardwalk by yet another geriatric upstart. Who will win? How long have you listened to this show?

It's love and abundance week, Dear Listerner, so let's kick things off with a timeless message... don't steal. Or maybe, don't get caught. See also: Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. Plus, porn!

The pull of gravity has reached our jowels, Dear Listener, and the only one coming to save us is Corporate Thor. Good thing little girls are here to annoy the fugg out of us on an airplane. Interested? You should be. We explore all these topics this week, plus: should Melissa give up her daily sleepy-weed ritual? You be the judge (for a change). Lord knows we could use a break fomr that job.