What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

If your child gets gifts they don't like from well-meaning family members, it can be difficult to navigate. The last thing we want to do is hurt our loved one's feelings, but we also need to teach our kids how best to handle this situation. Listener Gabbi wrote in to say: "Last year my 5-year-old daughter got a Christmas gift from my in-laws – a monogrammed chair for her room. They were excited about it and she was obviously not, and I had to smooth over hurt feelings later. Is there any way to help a handle the disappointment of receiving an unwanted present without making it too obvious?" Amy explains that when someone gives your child a present, it is important for them to recognize that this gift was given out of love and kindness. Even if they don't love the gift itself, they can still appreciate the kind gesture behind it. And you can always suggest or even purchase a gift yourself for your family member to give your child! Links! Sheila Hanson for Popsugar: "These 5 Words Changed the Way My Kids Receive Gifts" Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Natalie Mayslich is the President of Consumer for Care.com, where she is responsible for expanding, building and delivering the Company’s portfolio of Childcare and Senior Care products and services. Blessing Adesiyan is the Founder of Mother Honestly, a platform that provides financial technology and work-life infrastructure to employers and is reshaping the future of women and families at home and in the workplace. Natalie and Blessing are here to talk to us today about a new joint research study between Care.com and Mother Honestly that assesses how remote work truly impacts working families at work and at home. The findings of that study have just been published as The Modern Workplace Report. Natalie and Blessing explain: How remote work makes employees more productive and parents more involved How remote work has changed gender roles in the home How employers can implement effective remote work policies Here's where you can find Natalie and Blessing: www.care.com www.motherhonestly.com @caredotcom on IG/FB/TW @mhworklife on IG/TW Read The Modern Workplace Report Do us a solid! Take our listener survey at bit.ly/whatfreshhellsurvey Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Aura Frames turns your family’s past into the perfect gift, bringing all your favorite photos and videos together in one high-resolution display. Get up to $30 off Aura’s best-selling frames at auraframes.com/FRESH. Terms and conditions apply. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Enroll in the program at bookcoaches.com/podcasts before December 31st to get $600 in book coaching extras. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. BetterHelp has matched 3 million people with professionally licensed and vetted therapists. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/FRESH. For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/motherhood. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"Holiday Creep" is well on its way to being an entry in Merriam-Webster's dictionary. And with good reason. Amy and Margaret bemoan the fact the Christmas seems to start ever earlier, and weigh in on their strategies for managing the gift giving, decorating, and scheduling craziness at this time of year. Amy and Margaret discuss: Why Margaret is everyone's Christmas nightmare The 3 best rules for holiday gift giving When Christmas should REALLY start The solution to all the madness? Let the laws of holiday attrition work in your favor! If something falls off the list of priorities or is just no longer fun, take it off the calendar. Ask for a no-gift-exchange policy amongst family, friends, and coworkers, and find your "no" when it comes to holiday events, tasks, or experiences that are nothing but drudge for everyone! The only thing on our wish list this year is for you to take our listener survey: bit.ly/whatfreshhellsurvey Links! Here's the Spotify playlist of our holiday episodes Anne Helen Petersen, "A Theory of Sprawling Holidays" Mollie Wilson O'Reilly, "Waiting By the Jesse Tree" Eleanor Lees for Newsweek: "Why Does the Christmas Countdown Get Earlier Every Year?" Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Aura Frames turns your family’s past into the perfect gift, bringing all your favorite photos and videos together in one high-resolution display. Get up to $30 off Aura’s best-selling frames at auraframes.com/FRESH. Terms and conditions apply. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Enroll in the program at bookcoaches.com/podcasts before December 31st to get $600 in book coaching extras. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. BetterHelp has matched 3 million people with professionally licensed and vetted therapists available 100% online. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/FRESH. For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Offer ends Dec. 31, 2022. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/motherhood. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do you have multiple groups of relatives who plan on spending the holidays with you? If you've got parents, in-laws, and other relatives competing for your time and attention, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. A listener asks: "How do you tackle splitting time between family over the holidays with a newborn? Both sets of grandparents live in the same town, but how do we decide that it's time to leave one place and go to the next? It's already tough keeping up eating and napping schedules." Margaret suggests making a detailed schedule for holiday time with each group of relatives and sharing it with everyone involved so no unpleasant surprises occur. And manage expectations for yourself and for your family around how many visits you'll be able to achieve with kids in tow. The holidays should be a time for family fun above all! Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Heather Chauvin is a leadership coach who helps ambitious, overwhelmed women break free from their fears to courageously and authentically live, work, and parent on their own terms. She’s the host of the podcast Emotionally Uncomfortable and the author of Dying To Be A Good Mother: How I Dropped the Guilt and Took Control of My Parenting and My Life. Heather explains: How a stage four cancer diagnosis changed her life's trajectory Her process of writing down desires rather than goals Why atomic habits are the key to success for busy moms Working towards your goals is a long game of tiny shifts, says Heather. It's not about waking up one day and moving to Bali to open a bar (although if that IS your dream, more power to you!) It's about taking one minute, then two, then ten, to make space for your desires not just as a wife and a mother but as a full human being. Here's where you can find Heather: https://heatherchauvin.com/ IG: @heatherchauvin_ Facebook: @heatherchauvincoaching Listen to the "Emotionally Uncomfortable" podcast Buy Heather's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781774580226 Take Heather's Energy Finder quiz: http://heatherchauvin.com/lifequiz Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Aura Frames turns your family’s past into the perfect gift, bringing all your favorite photos and videos together in one high-resolution display. Get up to $30 off Aura’s best-selling frames at auraframes.com/FRESH. Terms and conditions apply. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Enroll in the program at bookcoaches.com/podcasts before December 31st to get $600 in book coaching extras. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. BetterHelp has matched 3 million people with professionally licensed and vetted therapists. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/FRESH. For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/motherhood. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Whether it's fish, feet, or ramen, our listeners have got some very odd things that they just can't stand. We discuss the breadth and depth of their very weirdest fears, along with our own aversions to the darndest things. Margaret and Amy discuss: Margaret's fear of grass and jazz Amy's rusty yoga poses The scariest Muppets Links! Babies refusing to stand on grass montage Join our Facebook group Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3z Check out all of our Adalyst Media Network podcasts Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Aura Frames turns your family’s past into the perfect gift, bringing all your favorite photos and videos together in one high-resolution display. Get up to $30 off Aura’s best-selling frames at auraframes.com/FRESH. Terms and conditions apply. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Enroll in the program at bookcoaches.com/podcasts before December 31st to get $600 in book coaching extras. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. BetterHelp has matched 3 million people with professionally licensed and vetted therapists. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/FRESH. For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/motherhood. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If our kids seem standoffish at first when other adults try to engage them in conversation, parents may worry that such kids are missing essential social skills. This week a listener asks: "I'd love ideas on how to get your child to engage in normal back-and-forth conversation with adults. My four-year-old won’t respond to extended family or other adults when they try to talk her her. No “Hello," no “Thank you”, etc. If the adults engage in play with her, then she will be very chatty. But this morning she wouldn’t respond when her own father said ”Good morning." This is probably totally age-appropriate, and she's a happy, well-adjusted kid, but she struggles with this. I’ve been trying to practice and prep her with how to respond before events, but that hasn’t made much progress." Amy assures our listener that this behavior is both age-appropriate and worth having a discussion about. Put your child in the driver's seat with a little role play, practicing both initiating conversation and responding to prompts. And remember that it's totally okay if your kid takes a while to warm up to others - better giving them space than forcing them into uncomfortable social situations. There's plenty of time for the latter when they become adults. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ever heard of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs? Maslow proposed a pyramid as the pattern through which human needs and motivations generally move. We can't worry about what's at the upper levels of the pyramid until and unless the more basic needs at the bottom of the pyramid– food, warmth, safety– are met first. Leslie Forde, founder of Mom’s Hierarchy of Needs, has rethought that pyramid for the way we live our lives as mothers. There's a reason there's not enough bandwidth in our lives for fun and connection and self-actualization. Mom’s Hierarchy of Needs provides moms with products, research and community to reclaim time from their never-done to-do lists. In this episode, Leslie explains: Why mom's hierarchy of needs is a little different than Maslow's When and why your hierarchy of needs might shift How to prioritize your career, healthy relationships, and self-care in your own hierarchy Leslie says that it's important to realize your health and wellbeing is equal in importance to your children's health and wellbeing, and once you internalize that, you can start to make room for your own needs without feeling guilty or frivolous. Here's where you can find Leslie: Facebook: @MOMSHIERARCHYOFNEEDS Twitter: @MOMSHIERARCHY IG: @MOMSHIERARCHYOF_NEEDS Leslie's TimeCheck app https://momshierarchyofneeds.com/ Our episode "Isn't This Supposed to Be More Fun?" Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3z Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Aura Frames turns your family’s past into the perfect gift, bringing all your favorite photos and videos together in one high-resolution display. Get up to $30 off Aura’s best-selling frames at auraframes.com/FRESH. Terms and conditions apply. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Enroll in the program at bookcoaches.com/podcasts before December 31st to get $600 in book coaching extras. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. BetterHelp has matched 3 million people with professionally licensed and vetted therapists. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/FRESH. For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Find a new fall favorite for your wardrobe with Faherty. Head to fahertybrand.com/wfh and use code WFH at checkout for 20% off. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/motherhood. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do us a solid! Take our listener survey at bit.ly/whatfreshhellsurvey. When parenting feels like all work and no play, we may resignedly think "Well, that's the way it's supposed to be." But if you feel like parenting is more draining than fulfilling, there are ways to bring more presence, joy, and fun into the mix. Amy and Margaret discuss: why having fun as a family usually means doing what kids think is fun, which is not the same as US having fun what psychologists say is required in order to have fun- and why those same things can be in short supply in our lives as parents the role of "flow" in fun, and whether eight hours of video games might start to have diminishing returns Sometimes parenting isn't fun. The reasons for that aren't our fault, and losing the guilt that it's not all more fun can really help. On the other hand, if it's never fun, there might be some rearrangements of our family life that can occur... and we've got ideas on how to start. Links! Jennifer Senior: All Joy And No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood Daniel Gilbert: Stumbling on Happiness Mikhail Csikszentmihalyi: Flow Arlie Hochschild: The Second Shift Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/fresh and get on your way to being your best self.” For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Find a new fall favorite for your wardrobe with Faherty. Head to fahertybrand.com/wfh and use code WFH at checkout for 20% off. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/motherhood. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Does your kid ask you to make their breakfast or do their laundry despite the fact that they know how to do these things? Where's the line between lending them a hand and waiting on them hand and foot? Listener Lindsay asks: "Talk to me about how you field requests from your kids to “help them” with things they’re old enough to do themselves. Like my 12 year old’s constant requests to make her breakfast, or my 6 year old who will often ask me to go fetch things for her that she forgot elsewhere in the house. I will often decline and tell them that they can do these things themselves… but then I wonder — couldn’t they say the same thing to me when I ask them for help? They’re always very willing to help me when I ask, and I know they are probably looking at these requests of me in the same light. How do I reciprocate their willingness to help me without teaching them learned helplessness? " There's no hard-and-fast rule for how much your kids should be doing around the house. As long as you contextualize the scenarios where you help for your kids, there's no harm in sometimes doing things for them if they're bogged down with homework or having a rough day. Links! Children's Hospital of Philadelphia blog: "Chores and Kids: How Much Should You Expect?" Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why does it feel like our career and our family are pulling us in different directions and making it hard to be fully present in both arenas? In her new book Work, Parent, Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection (When Everything Feels Like too Much). Dr. Yael Schonbrun explains how we can move from a zero-sum mindset to a life in which our work life and our family life are enable to enrich each other. Yael Schonbrun is also the co-host of the "Psychologists Off the Clock" podcast, an assistant professor at Brown University, and a mother of three little comedians. In this episode Yael and Amy discuss: Why the guilt that often accompanies parenting is hard-wired into us What values clarification looks like Why starting a "stop doing" list can be surprisingly helpful Here's where you can find Yael: Twitter: @DrYaelSchonbrun #WorkParentThrive Buy Yael's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781611809657 Links! Our Fresh Take with Dr. Jill Stoddard on how to manage anxiety Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/fresh and get on your way to being your best self.” For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Find a new fall favorite for your wardrobe with Faherty. Head to fahertybrand.com/fresh and use code FRESH at checkout for 20% off. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Please take our listener survey at bit.ly/whatfreshhellsurvey! It helps us bring you sponsors you'll love– and it keeps this podcast going! When we look at our kids– and think of the responsibilities we had and risks we took at their ages– a lot of us think our kids are growing up more slowly. This is definitely not always a bad thing. But when our kid is playing Pokémon and their peers have moved on to Snapchat, should we be encouraging them to blossom? Or letting them stay young a little longer? Amy and Margaret discuss: why it's good to have "young" kids when to rescue, and when to leave them alone how to make our own homes safe havens for our kids to be exactly who they are Links! Camille Noe Pagán for WebMD: "Is It Immaturity or ADHD?" Alloprof Parents: "5 ways to support an immature first grader" PsychCentral: "The Effects of Trauma from Growing up Too Fast" Amy Norton for CBS News: "Why today's teens are growing up more slowly than they used to" Katie Bishop for BBC: "Kids getting older younger: Are children growing up too fast?" Steven Richfield for HealthyPlace: "Coaching The Emotionally Immature Middle Schooler" Julie Rawe for Understood: "Why some kids seem immature compared to other kids their age" Dr. Tori Cordiano for Your Teen Magazine: "My Daughter Is Immature and She’s Annoying Her Friends" Jessica Lahey for Your Teen Magazine: "Understanding Changing Middle School Friendships" Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/fresh and get on your way to being your best self.” For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Find a new fall favorite for your wardrobe with Faherty. Head to fahertybrand.com/fresh and use code FRESH at checkout for 20% off. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When our kids get overwhelmed with homework and tests and schedule-making, it can be pretty clear they need our help. Sometimes they come right out and ask for assistance– only to then angrily insist every suggestion we make is the dumbest thing ever. How can we support our stressed kids without being trash cans for all their frustration and bad feelings? A member of our Facebook group says: My family moved last spring to a new school district with higher standards than our previous one. Our teen is really having a hard time understanding how to manage his time. I know he has all the tools and support to be successful, so the only thing holding him back is his own effort/attitude. He procrastinates and bargains his way into doing the least possible effort and then when I check in with him to review or to help plan his assignments he snarls at me. He is in this cycle of not wanting to do the work or the task in the moment, and then getting pissed later that he essentially set himself up to struggle. We let him make his own study plans for the first six weeks with us just supporting his choices where we could, but that resulted in poor grades. Then we would force him to let us help him study, and he would be much more successful. He just fights the help. So I have 2 options: A- say “fine, go ahead and do it your way and fail your classes” which will result in many consequences I fear that he is not mature enough to think about, or B- keep taking the abuse and fighting him, knowing that it’s the only way he will stay on track which is definitely not the healthiest means to an end. It's a tough situation a parent to be in, and hard not to become triggered by it. Amy says it's important to remember that our kids are struggling with two different things– their workloads, and their anxieties– and that their frustrations are about those things, not about how annoying Mom is. No matter what they might say. Books Amy mentions in the episode: THE EXPLOSIVE CHILD by Ross Greene SMART BUT SCATTERED TEENS by Richard Guare, Peg Dawson, and Colin Guare Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Self-declared late-bloomer Wendi Aarons is an award-winning humorist, writer, and author who's written for McSweeney’s, The New Yorker Daily Shouts, US Weekly, and BuzzFeed. Her new book, "I'm Wearing Tunics Now: On Growing Older, Better, and a Hell of a Lot Louder," is an exploration of self-acceptance, second acts, and unapologetically chasing the lives we deserve as women. In this episode we discuss: why we would– and wouldn't– go back to when we were younger the ability to reprioritize female friendships at midlife why every new mom feels like she's in a middle-school cafeteria Aging can bring unwelcome surprises along with it, says Wendi, but it can also bring some welcome ones. Here's where you can find Wendi: Social media: @WendiAarons www.wendiaarons.com Buy Wendi's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781524873738 Wendi's open letter to Always Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. This episode is sponsored by Betterhelp. BetterHelp is online therapy that is affordable, confidential, and effective! Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Find a new fall favorite for your wardrobe with Faherty. Head to fahertybrand.com/fresh and use code FRESH at checkout for 20% off. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What did adulthood mean to you when you were growing up? Staying up late? Doing algebra every day? Stopping, dropping, and rolling at least once a week? We asked our listeners what they thought would come in handy or plague them daily when they grew up. Amy and Margaret discuss: "Oops! All Berries" Cap'n Crunch cereal Chunky statement pieces How to get the upper hand in "Jeopardy" Here's the original thread in our Facebook group where we asked this question Sign up for our newsletter! Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Find a new fall favorite for your wardrobe with Faherty. Head to fahertybrand.com/fresh and use code FRESH at checkout for 20% off. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have you caught your kid using some choice words in your presence, perhaps ones he picked up from older friends or even you yourself? Wondering how to rein in your little goodfella? A listener wrote in to say: "Our almost-eight-year-old has been hanging around some older kids, and has found it amusing to use various swear words both casually and in a derogatory context at home. We’ve had multiple talks about how, while we don’t care that he knows these words, we don’t want him using them in our presence and in the presence of others as they can be considered very rude and insulting. It hasn’t seem to have made a difference. Is this a phase? Do we just blank-face ignore it? Is it time for a negative consequence for swearing just because he gets a kick out of it? We also don’t want it to wear off on our four-year-old." Margaret says that finding the middle way between reactive punishment and blank-faced detachment when your kid swears in front of you is the key to success. Here's how to thread that needle. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why do so many mothers struggle with new parenthood if the maternal instinct is supposed to "kick in" and tell us all exactly what to do? In her new book Mother Brain: How Neuroscience Is Rewriting the Story of Parenthood, Chelsea Conaboy cracks the myth of the maternal instinct wide open. In this episode, Chelsea explains: How caring for a baby changes the brain of both biological and nonbiological parents, both gestational and non-gestational, and for far longer than we realize Why the traditional view of "baby blues" falls far short of what new parents need Why the parent-child bond is a two-way street, and how each of our children changes our brains further How we can use this new science to improve outcomes for all parents Here's where you can find Chelsea: Website: motherbrainbook.com Twitter: @cconaboy IG: @chelsea.wonder Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Find a new fall favorite for your wardrobe with Faherty. Head to fahertybrand.com/fresh and use code FRESH at checkout for 20% off. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For moms who want to make a change, whether it's returning to an old career after a break, or forging a entirely new path, Amy and Margaret are here to tell you: it's possible, and it can be a time that feels like possibility instead of a series of closed doors. Amy and Margaret discuss: Their own (multiple) experiences with pivoting How the pandemic has affected working moms The challenges of reentering the workforce after being a stay-at-home parent for some time The first step to pivoting? Uncovering what you really want in this next stage of your professional life, which will take some time and reflection. Think big. Links! Caroline Fairchild for Working Together: "Nearly half of mothers work, take a break, and work again. Why is there still such a stigma?" Jamie Birt for Indeed: "9 Tips for Stay-at-Home Parents Re-Entering the Workforce" Misty L. Heggeness et. al: "Tracking Job Losses for Mothers of School-Age Children During a Health Crisis" Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love Sign up for our newsletter here! Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Find a new fall favorite for your wardrobe with Faherty. Head to fahertybrand.com/fresh and use code FRESH at checkout for 20% off. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Does your child crumple every time he makes a mistake? Particularly when it's in front of an audience? A listener named Katherine wrote in to say: My 8-year-old son is very aware of how he performs relative to others. When he is performing “worse” than others he is very hard on himself. He says “I’m the worst” and cries. This comes up most often in sports. He played baseball recently and when he struck out he often cried. (I think the public nature of striking out heightens his distress.) We try to validate his emotions. We try to encourage and validate his efforts and not the outcome. But nothing seems to work. It’s heart breaking. I don’t want to get into a logical battle with him about him not being the worst! A logical battle is indeed not the answer, Amy explains. You're arguing with the default mode network. Redirecting and distracting from the issue will make it easier on both you and your kid. Links! Fresh Take: Dr. Ned Hallowell on the Newest Science and Essential Strategies for ADHD Our episode: When To Let Kids Quit Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hunter Clarke-Fields is the creator of the Mindful Parenting course, the host of the Mindful Mama Podcast, and the author of Raising Good Humans: A Mindful Guide to Breaking the Cycle of Reactive Parenting and Raising Kind, Confident Kids. Hunter helps parents bring more calm and peace into their daily lives. Hunter has over twenty years of experience in meditation practices and has taught mindfulness to thousands worldwide. She is the mother to two daughters. In this interview Hunter explains: The true definition of mindfulness How to break the cycle of reactivity Her own struggles with staying mindful as a parent The key is to start small with creating a mindfulness practice, Hunter says. (Oh, and it may sound cliché, but lots of deep breaths, too. Guess what? It works.) Here's where you can find Hunter: FB/Instagram - @mindfulmamamentor YouTube - @HunterClarkeFieldsMindfulMamaMentor Twitter - @HClarkeFields Pinterest - @mindfulmamamentor Website: www.mindfulmamamentor.com Buy Hunter's Book Raising Good Humans: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781684033881 Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Find a new fall favorite for your wardrobe with Faherty. Head to fahertybrand.com/fresh and use code FRESH at checkout for 20% off. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If a three-year-old can't wait thirty seconds more for dinner, will she grow up to be an impatient adult? Is there anything we can do to teach our kids patience– and should we? Impatience is completely normal in kids (not to mention grownups), but there are ways to help our children develop this skill. It's worth the effort– not to make our kids more compliant and quiet in church, but because patience and overall happiness, as it turns out, are highly correlated. In this episode, Amy and Margaret discuss: Why impatience is developmentally appropriate- and when kids are ready to become more patient The infamous "marshmallow experiment" How to model patience for our kids (and find a little more happiness ourselves) Links! Steve Calechman for Greater Good Magazine: "How to Help Your Kids Be a Little More Patient" Angel E Navidad for SimplyPsychology: "Marshmallow Test Experiment and Delayed Gratification" Scholastic Parents: "Teaching Patience" Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Go to etsy.com and use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase. Faherty has your fall wardrobe covered. Head to fahertybrand.com/FRESH and use code FRESH at checkout to snag 20% off ALL your new fall staples. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Mathnasium uses customized learning plans to give your child exactly what they need, whether it's bridging the gap, or raising the level of challenge. Get a free consultation today at mathnasium.com. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is the phrase "Well, you didn't say NOT to" a common refrain in your house? Some kids love to find ways around the rules and regulations parents or teachers set down. A listener wrote in to say: "How do you get your middle schooler to focus his incredible power of finding loopholes in all things from pointless ideas to more proactive agendas? He’s smart, witty, loves attention, and can argue with a brick wall. How do I help him channel that to good? Or how do I survive until he is mature enough to do it naturally? " Margaret explains that boundary-seeking behavior is natural in kids and that parenting is more about "benevolent dictatorship" than constant policing. For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Laura Vanderkam is the author of several time management books, including the just-out "Tranquility by Tuesday: 9 Ways to Calm the Chaos and Make Time for What Matters." She hosts the every-weekday-morning podcast "Before Breakfast" and also co-hosts "Best of Both Worlds" with Sarah Hart-Unger. She lives outside Philadelphia with her husband and five children. Laura explains: How to create a "resilient" schedule How to start small with prioritizing the more important things What keeps people from taking ownership of their time Starting small is the key, Laura says, by investigating how you currently spend your time and using that information as a launch point to move towards a more "resilient" schedule. Here's where you can find Laura: https://lauravanderkam.com @lvanderkam on Twitter and IG @lauravanderkamauthor on FB Buy Laura's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593419007 Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. October is National Eczema Awareness Month! Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Mathnasium uses customized learning plans to give your child exactly what they need, whether it's bridging the gap, or raising the level of challenge. Get a free consultation today at mathnasium.com. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What's your scariest mom-ster story? Do you leave half-empty cups everywhere like Margaret? Do you leave hairs on the shower wall like Amy? We asked our listeners when they were the mom-sters, and some of the answers sent chills down our spines! In this episode, Amy and Margaret discuss: "Driver's License" (wait, is it not cool anymore?) The secret to moms' bad moods Recycling rules (and how we don't respect them) Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. October is National Eczema Awareness Month! Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Mathnasium uses customized learning plans to give your child exactly what they need, whether it's bridging the gap, or raising the level of challenge. Get a free consultation today at mathnasium.com. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Does another kid have an unrequited crush on your kid? How does your kid shut it down without seeming cruel or unkind? A listener on FB asks: A girl has a big crush on my 8-year-old boy. She follows him around, always tries to sit next to him, and is constantly trying to talk to him. He isn't interested in her (or anyone); he just wants to hang out with his buddies. I told him he doesn't have to like her back, but he just can't be mean to her. Is there anything he can say to her that isn't mean but will let her know he doesn't want to hang out with her? Amy explains that setting boundaries is just as important for boys as it is for girls and gives some practice phrases for kids to do just that. There is a way to take the middle road of validating both kids' emotions while maintaining healthy boundaries and decorum, she says. Links: Rae Jacobson for Child Mind Institute: "Helping Girls Deal With Unwanted Sexual Attention" Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Carla Naumburg, PhD, LICSW, is a clinical social worker, and mother. She’s the author of four non-fiction books, including her international bestseller, How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids (Workman, 2019), as well as You Are Not a Sh*tty Parent, and the forthcoming How to Stop Freaking Out, the (completely swear-free) middle-grade adaptation of How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids. Carla explains: Sh*tty Parenting Syndrome (SPS) The "second arrow" of suffering The four pillars of practicing self-compassion: noticing, connection, curiosity, and kindness Self-compassion isn't meant to help you feel better, Carla says. It's meant to assure you that you can still feel all of the big emotions that come with parenting while taking care of yourself and validating whatever you are feeling. This allows us to approach parenting from a place of calm, clarity, creativity, and confidence. Here's where you can find Carla: @carlanaumburg on IG @CarlaGeorge22 on Twitter /cnaumburg on Facebook https://www.carlanaumburg.com/ Buy Carla's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781523517114 Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. October is National Eczema Awareness Month! Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Mathnasium uses customized learning plans to give your child exactly what they need, whether it's bridging the gap, or raising the level of challenge. Get a free consultation today at mathnasium.com. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Which teacher is your kid's favorite person in school? How did a teacher give your kid extra support that they weren't required to give? How did a teacher advocate for your kid when they weren't able to do it for themselves? The examples are endless, yet teachers are under an immense amount of pressure to deliver flawless educational educational experiences for every single one of their students, as this listener explained in our Facebook group: "Please allow me to provide a peek behind the teacher curtain. If you dare to try and save your families from a bed full of confetti the night before school and save your remaining sanity and $40, the principal calls you to their office the next day. With a judgmental sniff, they tell you they just got off the phone with that one mom who is “very upset” that her special snowflake cried herself to sleep last night because her friend had the magical, life altering opportunity to fill the house with glitter confetti and YOU deprived Snowflake of the same incredible experience. (No mom ever calls and tells the principal to thank you for NOT perpetrating this horror upon their household.) Your “classroom vibe” and parent communication is literally part of your annual review. And the bar is high." We asked our listeners how teachers went above and beyond for their kids, and they had too many examples to name. Thank you, teachers! Links: Humans of New York story about Jon Cruz Jesse Jackson on Sesame Street "I Am Somebody!" Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. October is National Eczema Awareness Month! Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Mathnasium uses customized learning plans to give your child exactly what they need, whether it's bridging the gap, or raising the level of challenge. Get a free consultation today at mathnasium.com. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Thinking about planning a long-distance road trip for your family in an RV? Not sure where to start? Julie on Facebook asks: My kid wants to do an RV trip next summer. We live in Ohio and have no specific destinations in mind yet. But any resources to help us learn the ropes and pitfalls ahead of time would be greatly appreciated. When she went on a six-day RV trip with her family, Margaret learned some easy and some DEFINITELY not so easy lessons about road trips with kids. Hint: less is definitely more! Margaret rented her RV from cruiseamerica.com (not a sponsor, btw) For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week we're delighted to be talking to an expert whose work has shaped our understanding about effective and compassionate parenting more than anyone else we can think of. Dr. Stuart Shanker is a Distinguished Research Professor Emeritus of Philosophy and Psychology, the Founder & Visionary of The MEHRIT Centre, Ltd., and Self-Reg Global Inc. He is the author of several books, including Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage With Life. The Self-Reg framework uses cutting-edge neuroscience to help children and adults feel happy and think clearly by better regulating themselves. Dr. Shanker's latest books are Self-Reg Schools: A Handbook for Educators (2019) and Reframed: Self-Reg for a Just Society . In this episode, Dr. Shanker explains: the three basic principles of the self-reg framework how stress affects kids' behavior how to break the spiraling stress cycle for both parents and kids Find Dr. Shanker's self-reg courses here: https://self-reg.ca/ @SelfReg on social media @themehritcentre on Pinterest Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. October is National Eczema Awareness Month! Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Mathnasium uses customized learning plans to give your child exactly what they need, whether it's bridging the gap, or raising the level of challenge. Get a free consultation today at mathnasium.com. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Happy 6th Anniversary to What Fresh Hell! In six years of doing this podcast, we've learned a lot, changed our minds, and watched our kids grow. This week we're talking about the most important things we've learned over the last six years, and what a privilege it is to be part of this incredible podcast community. Thanks for listening! Here are some things we talk about in this episode: Fresh Take: Helena Andrews-Dyer on Learning From Moms Not Like Us Fresh Take: Dr. Becky Goodman on Being "Good Inside" Faberge Organics Hairspray commercial (tell two friends!) Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3z Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. October is National Eczema Awareness Month! Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Mathnasium uses customized learning plans to give your child exactly what they need, whether it's bridging the gap, or raising the level of challenge. Get a free consultation today at mathnasium.com. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Bedtime struggles don't end once your kids are no longer toddlers. Is bedtime at your house leaving you more exhausted than the kids? A listener wrote in to say: "I just re-listened to your bedtime routine podcast to get some much-needed advice. I have 8 and 11-year-olds and we are having trouble with bedtime. I am spending 2+ hours with the whole routine and it goes without saying that I’m getting burned out. I can apply some of the tips from that particular episode which was geared towards a four-year-old, but do you have any tips for these ages? Anything is appreciated." Amy suggests this listener hink about what she can add and what she can take away. If the song-and-dance has become part of the routine, it might be time for a "back to one." Listen on for some ideas. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Helena Andrews-Dyer is an award-winning culture reporter for The Washington Post. Her new memoir “The Mamas: What I Learned About Kids, Class, and Race From Moms Not Like Me” tells the story of how Helena joined her local mom group —“the Mamas”— after having her first child. Helena quickly realized that being one of the only Black mothers in the mix was a mixed bag. The racial, cultural, and socioeconomic differences were made clear almost immediately. In this interview, Helena and Margaret discuss what it's like raising Black children in America, what she's learned about the connections motherhood forges, and the many cultural spaces Helena has occupied throughout her life. Helena and Margaret discuss: The ways motherhood is racialized for Black women Being an "invisible mom" What it takes to make an authentic connection with another mother Here's where you can find Helena: www.helenaandrews.com find THE MAMAS in our Bookshop store: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593240311 @helena_andrews on IG and Twitter Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. October is National Eczema Awareness Month! Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Mathnasium uses customized learning plans to give your child exactly what they need, whether it's bridging the gap, or raising the level of challenge. Get a free consultation today at mathnasium.com. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There are lots of reasons why someone might find parenting easier when their spouse is not around, and not all of them are a cause to call in the couples therapist. A listener posted in our Facebook group: Anyone else feel like things are easier when their spouse isn’t home? We’ve been dealing with some family issues so he is out of town. I find that when he isn’t here, my kids listen better, we make a good team and work together, they sleep better, etc. Is that weird? How can one person make such a difference? Not much has changed except I do a little more (take out the trash, drop kids off at school) so it’s not that I have more time. It just seems more peaceful in our home or something. And to be honest, I’m not sure it’s a good sign! When we're solo parenting, we have more alone time, we don't have to negotiate child-related or housework-related decisions, and there are fewer dishes and dirty clothes to wash. If you like it when your spouse is away, that doesn't mean you love them any less or they're a bad spouse. But are there advantages we can consider making part of our parenting all the time? That might also be a possibility. Amy and Margaret discuss: Why it's easier to solo parent sometimes How the pandemic changed couple dynamics How to discuss with our spouse how we feel We've launched a new network! Adalyst Media is where women come to listen. Find out more about Adalyst Media at adalystmedia.com. Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Katie Cloyd for Scary Mommy: "My Life Is Easier When My Husband Travels" Meredith Bland for Parent Map: "Parenting is Easier When My Husband is Out of Town" We Did Not Sign Up For Being With Our Spouses 24/7 (with guest Damona Hoffman) A Room Of Our Own: Claiming the Space We Need Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. October is National Eczema Awareness Month! Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Mathnasium uses customized learning plans to give your child exactly what they need, whether it's bridging the gap, or raising the level of challenge. Get a free consultation today at mathnasium.com. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Three-year-olds will do a lot of things to get attention– sometimes including spitting in your face. A listener wrote in to say: "My almost 3-year-old spits. He doesn't respond well to time-outs, losing toys/treats/etc., explaining that it's rude and hurtful. He spits in my face during church, at his older siblings, or any time he doesn't get his immediate way. He does it when he's getting attention, when he's not getting attention, when he's happy, when he's mad...I'm at a loss. I cannot find the pattern and it is really starting to get to me." The key, as Margaret explains, is to not give our kids the satisfaction of a big reaction to their unwanted behaviors. Easier said than done... but here are a few things to try. In this episode Margaret mentions: Amy Morin for Verywell Family: "How to Discipline a Child for Spitting" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Penelope Leach is a research psychologist and one of the world's leading experts in child development and upbringing. Penelope has helped millions of parents raise their children for more than forty years with her thoroughly researched, practical, baby-led advice, her wise, empathic, and sensible perspective, and her comforting voice. She also has two children and six grandchildren of her own. Penelope's classic childcare guide YOUR BABY AND CHILD is out now in a fully revised and updated edition. Much has changed since this book was first published in the 1970s, and this new edition thoughtfully incorporates all that we've learned about child development and family structures in the many years since. Amy, Margaret, and Dr. Leach discuss: How thinking around child development has changed [2:50] How a mother's stress affects her child [17:10] What parents are still worried about 50 years later [30:00] Grab your copy of YOUR BABY AND CHILD from our Bookshop store! Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3z Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Pampers are the #1 pediatrician-recommended diaper brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase! BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Indeed is the hiring platform where you can Attract, Interview, and Hire all in one place. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. KiwiCo projects make back-to-school more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3z Cars with built-in refrigerator magnets, super strong hair-collecting magnets, and of course, Baby Uber (car seats included!) Our listeners had so many good ideas for life-saving parenting inventions that we couldn't fit them all into our first "Why Isn't This a Thing?" episode. So here is "Why Isn't This a Thing: Part Two: New Things Rising: Maybe It Is a Thing." Amy and Margaret discuss amazing ideas like: Hotels for sick moms Cocktail ice cream trucks Applebee's buzzers Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Pampers are the #1 pediatrician-recommended diaper brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase! BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Indeed is the hiring platform where you can Attract, Interview, and Hire all in one place. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. KiwiCo projects make back-to-school more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Some kids have "lower set points" for needing to process experiences verbally and they may naturally be a quieter kid, which means parents may need to let go of the expectations they have set for having long, deep conversations with their kids every day after school. This week, a listener asks: I have three boys: almost 7, almost 4, almost 3. I've tried to do the rose/ thorn/ bud reflection at dinner to get even the tiniest glimpse in to my almost-7 year old's day. And I am constantly responded to with either "I dunno" or "So many things I can't even begin to tell you." When I/we say "Well, pick one" he will just shrug and say "I dunno" or stay silent. We will sit in the silence in order to give him time to think but he will always move on to a different topic - usually something he's obsessed with and nothing related to what we have been talking about. I've often said things like "Well, I'd love to know when you think of one thing" or have encouraged him to take his time, but we get nothing. At the end of last year I discovered he was fighting with another boy and that they were no longer friends - I had thought they were buddies! It turns out all the other moms knew because their kids had talked about their "beef". I feel like if my kid would open up maybe this would've come to my attention. I feel sad and frustrated, how do I get him to talk? There are some things you can try to break the ice: let your kid decide on the topic of conversation; vary the time of day when you try to talk to your kid; and use conversation cards like these Table Topics for Kids to get the conversation going. But forcing the issue is usually counterproductive. If your child is content overall, there's a chance that not sharing about their day isn't actually holding them back. Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3z Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Donna Jackson Nakazawa is an award-winning science journalist whose work explores the intersection of neuroscience, immunology, and emotion. Her latest book, GIRLS ON THE BRINK: Helping Our Daughters Thrive in an Era of Increased Anxiety, Depression, and Social Media, unpacks the causes of the stress on American girls and its detrimental effects on their mental health. Donna, Margaret, and Amy discuss: Why girls tend to be more depressed and anxious than boys [2:07] How we've stolen girls' "safe in-between years" [17:30] "Antidote" strategies for helping girls through adolescence [26:30] Here's where you can find Donna: https://donnajacksonnakazawa.com @donnajacksonnakazawaauthor on Facebook Buy Donna's book! Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3z Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Pampers are the #1 pediatrician-recommended diaper brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase! BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Indeed is the hiring platform where you can Attract, Interview, and Hire all in one place. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. KiwiCo projects make back-to-school more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We're back with another roundup of what we're reading, watching, and listening to. Some of it's educational. Some of it's spicy. Some of it's just for fun. And all of it is totally worth your time! What we're reading: A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas All the Rage: Mothers, Fathers, and the Myth of Equal Partnership by Darcy Lockman Evgenia Peretz for Vanity Fair: "Scene Stealer: The True Lies of Elisabeth Finch, Part 1" Our What Fresh Hell newsletter! Subscribe on our homepage. What we're watching: Amy Winehouse documentary "Back to Black" The Rehearsal on HBO Napoleon Dynamite Jeopardy! Animal Facts @comedyfortheinternet #animalfacts Keep Sweet, Pray, and Obey Under the Banner of Heaven (book and TV show) KC Davis's TikTok @domesticblisters What we're listening to: The Seduction Dirty John Sweet Bobby A Normal Family: The JonBenet Ramsey Case Revisited Watch What Crappens Our Fresh Take with Kate Mangino Beyoncé's new album "Renaissance" Lizzo's new album "Special" Our episode "Grudges Held, Grudges Kept" Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to that we think you’ll love. Go to whatfreshhellpodcast.com – there’s a link in the right sidebar. Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Pampers are the #1 pediatrician-recommended diaper brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase! BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Indeed is the hiring platform where you can Attract, Interview, and Hire all in one place. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. KiwiCo projects make back-to-school more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, a listener asks: My 10-year-old son is friendly, outgoing, and very accepting. He is also really interested in sports. He has a lot of acquaintances in both school and on his teams, but has no one I would call a best friend. He doesn’t get invited to a lot of birthday parties and rarely is asked for a play date, although the neighborhood kids will knock on the door and ask for him to come play a fair amount. He has ADHD and can get a little overly silly and/or annoy kids (I suspect). But he has not expressed any dissatisfaction with his social life and does not appear lonely, so I don’t want to project my thoughts and feelings on him, but is his lack of close friendships a concern? Is it something we should work on, perhaps social skills? I have never had a lot of acquaintances but have always had a few close friends. My friends changed throughout school but I always had a small group of close friends. Again, I know he is a different person than I am, but I don’t want to miss a sign of something that is amiss. Thoughts? Margaret suggests that if your child isn't expressing dissatisfaction with their social life, it's perfectly alright to leave the matter alone for the time being. There are things that can get in the way of a child forming close friendships, as discussed in the Huffington Post article linked below, and approaching the situation by modeling appropriate behavior yourself is the best course of action. This could look like a social skills class for your child, which Margaret found helpful with hers, or it could simply be practicing polite conversation, reading social cues, and asking others about their interests at the dinner table. Social skills are something you can get better at over time, so don't sweat it if your kid doesn't seem to have it down pat yet. Here is the link to the article Margaret mentions in the episode: Samantha Kemp-Jackson for the Huffington Post: When Your Child Doesn't Have Friends, Here's What To Do Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Becky Kennedy is a clinical psychologist and mom of three who’s rethinking the way we raise our children. She's the host of "Good Inside With Dr. Becky," named by Apple Podcasts as one of the best podcasts of 2021. She also empowers more than a million parents following her on Instagram @drbeckyatgoodinside. Dr. Becky specializes in thinking deeply about what’s happening for kids and translating these ideas into simple, actionable strategies for parents. Her new book is GOOD INSIDE: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be. In this episode, Becky, Amy, and Margaret discuss: How kids communicate through their behaviors How to navigate behavior regulation when you're short on time Why "Good Inside" is a slightly different parenting approach Here's where you can find Dr. Becky: www.goodinside.com @drbeckyatgoodinside on IG and FB Buy Dr. Becky's book Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Pampers are the #1 pediatrician-recommended diaper brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase! BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Indeed is the hiring platform where you can Attract, Interview, and Hire all in one place. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. KiwiCo projects make back-to-school more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Should our kids have chore lists– and if so, should they be paid allowances for them? If they're not getting paid to do chores, why exactly are they getting an allowance? Do we need to have any structure around chores at all? How old is old enough to be helpful around the house? In this episode, we discuss: Why chores set kids up for success down the road [12:52] The pros of paying kids to do chores [22:33] Non-monetary ways to motivate kids to do chores [26:00] Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Gia Miller for The Washington Post On Parenting: "I pay my kids to get dressed, do homework and more. It’s the best decision I ever made." Jennie Wallace for The Wall Street Journal: "Why Children Need Chores" AICPA: Four in Five Americans Say Allowance Teaches Financial Responsibility: New Survey Joe Pinsker for The Atlantic: The Way American Parents Think About Chores Is Bizarre Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic for Harvard Business Review: "Does Money Really Affect Motivation? A Review of the Research" Fresh Take: Michaeleen Doucleff on Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Pampers are the #1 pediatrician-recommended diaper brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase! BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Indeed is the hiring platform where you can Attract, Interview, and Hire all in one place. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. KiwiCo projects make back-to-school more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Has it been a while since you've had a night out? Does your parenting partner, in contrast, have an active social life? A listener posted this question in our Facebook group: How do I explain to my husband that while it’s nice he wants to see his friends weekly, he doesn’t have to? He has two friends he hangs out with almost every week, and they're both child-free. So the hanging out always happens during bedtime– or sometimes he'll even leave mid-bedtime. I haven’t seen my friends solo in weeks! Maybe even months! I heard somewhere it’s easier for a dad or non primary caregiver to find childcare ( in their spouse ) than it is for a mom or primary care giver to find it in their spouse. Most of my friends' husbands hardly ever watch their kids, never do bedtimes, or even worse, have never cared for all their kids, solo, at once. The other problem is that it's less work to stay home than go out... Because you know your partner, if they watch the kids, will do the bare bones. The house will be a disaster when I come home. In other words, my husband is a good person, he is willing to watch my kids, but being a mom it’s also not always practical. Please tell me this isn’t just something I struggle with! Let's change our own language around this before we try to change minds. When our spouses or partners are parenting, they're not babysitting, or watching the kids, or helping us. They're doing what they're supposed to be doing. We have to entitle ourselves to the same social lives and plans as our parenting partners who aren't as tied to the home. If their cleaning standards might be below ours... we can fix that, but a little further down the road. For now, focus on how good is it for your family– and for you– that you have renewing time with your friends, and how good it is for your kids to see that your partner can take care of them just as well as you can. Here is writing on the topic mentioned in this episode: Melinda Wenner Moyer: "At Least I'm Not as Bad as That Dad!" Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Pampers are the #1 pediatrician-recommended diaper brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Linda Flanagan is a journalist, researcher, and a former cross-country and track coach. She's also a founding board member of the Positive Coaching Alliance and an Advisory Group member for the Aspen Institute’s Reimagining Sports initiative. Flanagan's new book is TAKE BACK THE GAME: How Money and Mania Are Ruining Kids' Sports--and Why It Matters. Linda tells Amy and Margaret what forces conspired to make the youth sports landscape the way it is today. In this episode, Linda, Amy, and Margaret discuss: How the purpose of kids' sports has changed since we were playing ourselves [7:00] Why we assume sports build character, and whether that's true [14:30] How recruitment for college sports affects both kids' and parents' perspectives [22:15] Here's where you can find Linda: Buy Linda's book @lindaflanagan2 on Twitter Mindshift Podcast on NPR Read Linda's recent article in The Atlantic: "The Downsides of Having an Athlete in the Family" Our previous episode on kids' sports: "Youth Sports: If You Must" Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Pampers are the #1 pediatrician-recommended diaper brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase! BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Indeed is the hiring platform where you can Attract, Interview, and Hire all in one place. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. KiwiCo projects make back-to-school more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's back-to-school season, and even if that means you have a few more hours to yourself each day, there are still plenty of fresh hells in store, from preseason sports to parent portals to an unholy invention called "ready confetti". Amy and Margaret share their own stories of times when back-to-school meant drive-me-mad. Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Phyllis Fagell for The Washington Post: "Five ways parents can help children have a better school year" Ratchetdemic by Christopher Emdin Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Pampers are the #1 pediatrician-recommended diaper brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase! BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Indeed is the hiring platform where you can Attract, Interview, and Hire all in one place. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. KiwiCo projects make back-to-school more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, listener Katie says: Hi, Margaret and Amy. I am a longtime listener of the show and I've gained so much wisdom, comfort, and humorous perspectives on parenthood from you both. I am a parent of two boys, ages five going into kindergarten and nine going into fourth grade. Currently I am a full-time working-from-home mom. After school has always been my kryptonite. My boys tend to be grumpy and typically want to do different things. One wants to play with friends in the neighborhood, and one wants to veg and be on screens until dinner. We are low key with after school commitments. What are some habits or routines that work for you and your family after school? Margaret explains how scheduling blocks of time, sometimes different ones for each kid, can help give kids structure after school while also leaving room for downtime in the form of their choice. She also recommends you "feed the beast" right when kids get home and make time for homework before dinner, not after. If you want to leave us a voicemail with a question, comment, or review, go to whatfreshhellpodcast.com and click on the red tab on the right side of the screen. For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tiffany Jenkins writes honestly about motherhood, her experience with opioid addiction, recovery, marriage, and life in her blog Juggling the Jenkins. Her memoir High Achiever: The Incredible True Story of One Addict’s Double Life, Jenkins provides an up-close portrait of the mind of an addict and the devastating effects of narcotics. Jenkins uses her platform to help and inspire others who are struggling with motherhood, mental health, addiction, and those who just need a good laugh. In this "Best of" episode, we talk about whether being “real” always equates to being a hot mess express, Tiffany’s approaches to dealing with anxiety, and how the all-mom audiences Tiffany meets on her “My Name is Not Mom” tour are bringing rock-star levels of enthusiasm. Find Tiffany Jenkins on Facebook and YouTube Hear us as guests on Tiffany’s podcast "Take it Or Leave It" And catch Tiffany on tour: https://mynameisnotmom.com/ Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Pampers are the #1 pediatrician-recommended diaper brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase! BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Indeed is the hiring platform where you can Attract, Interview, and Hire all in one place. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. KiwiCo projects make back-to-school more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode topic was suggested by Pam Marie in our Facebook group: What's your mom superpower? We often talk about what we get wrong, but what about the things you're really good at? Time to flex, What Fresh Hell community! Everyone needs an ‘Attaboy!’ every once in a while. And when you’re a mom, you usually have to give it to yourself. In this "Best of" episode, Amy brags about her X-ray recall of exactly where the shirt definitely *is* hanging in her son’s closet. Margaret explains that she’s a “super sniffer,” and you’ll have to listen to know what that’s all about. We discuss some of our listeners’ powers, as well. Whether you’re Eileen, whose kids have not been late to school once in seven years, or Sue, who has the superhuman ability to resist shouldering her children’s emotional burdens for them, we are truly impressed by all of your superpowers. Attaboy. Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. AprilAire is Healthy Air, with professional-grade solutions filling millions of homes. To find out more about the AprilAire Healthy Air System®, visit www.aprilaire.com/fresh. BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Green Chef is the #1 meal kit for eating well. Use code fresh135 to get $135 off across five boxes, plus free shipping on your first box, at GreenChef.com/fresh135. KiwiCo projects make summer more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Outschool helps kids discover new interests! For a limited time, you’ll save $15 on your child’s first class when you go to outschool.com/laughing and use code LAUGHING. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty tabs” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without the sugar of gummies! Get $5 off with the code FRESH at renzosmagic.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you've got a high schooler who's starting the college process – and the part you're most dreading as a parent is drop-off day – you will probably identify with this "Best Of" Question of the Week: Hey ladies! A longtime listener here. How about an episode about Amy’s experience with her oldest off at college? I’m a mom who’s sending her first one away to school next year and my heart is already slowly breaking. Help! Good news: like a milestone birthday, the enormity of a kid leaving for college is way larger on the road ahead of you than it is in your rear-view mirror. It does cause great changes in your relationship with your child when they're not with you at the dinner table every night. The entire system really does transform when one family member is removed. But not all of the changes your family dynamic will undergo are bad. And if your teenager is giving you one-word answers while she's still at home, you may be surprised at how much she has to tell you once she's having these new experiences. In fact, these very show notes were interrupted for a lazy Sunday FaceTime with just such a first-year college student. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sending a kid to college these days can cost well into the six figures, whether you're looking at state universities or small private colleges. There's merit aid to be had, but how does one find it? How much should you be saving if your kid is in kindergarten? And why have the costs of college skyrocketed? Ron Lieber is the “Your Money” columnist for The New York Times and the author of several books, including The Opposite of Spoiled. His latest bestseller, named one of the "Best Books of 2021" by NPR and just out in paperback, is THE PRICE YOU PAY FOR COLLEGE: An Entirely New Road Map for the Biggest Financial Decision Your Family Will Ever Make– a book about who pays what, and why, and how the whole system got so complicated... In this episode, Amy and Ron discuss: how the financial aid process is designed to confuse how early decision has changed the college application process, for better and worse how –and when– to talk to your kids honestly about what college will cost and what your family will be able to contribute some basic approaches and mindsets that will get you saving the right amounts now In this episode we also discuss Ron's article for The New York Times: "Early Decision Isn’t Binding. Let Us Explain." Find THE PRICE YOU PAY FOR COLLEGE in our Bookshop store: https://bookshop.org/books/the-price-you-pay-for-college-an-entirely-new-road-map-for-the-biggest-financial-decision-your-family-will-ever-make/9780062867308 https://ronlieber.com/ @ronlieber on Twitter and Instagram Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. AprilAire is Healthy Air, with professional-grade solutions filling millions of homes. To find out more about the AprilAire Healthy Air System®, visit www.aprilaire.com/fresh. BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Green Chef is the #1 meal kit for eating well. Use code fresh135 to get $135 off across five boxes, plus free shipping on your first box, at GreenChef.com/fresh135. KiwiCo projects make summer more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Outschool helps kids discover new interests! For a limited time, you’ll save $15 on your child’s first class when you go to outschool.com/laughing and use code LAUGHING. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty tabs” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without the sugar of gummies! Get $5 off with the code FRESH at renzosmagic.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices