What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

Getting kids to cooperate is a challenge at all ages and stages. Here’s how to know when little kids are old enough to kick in, how "connecting before directing" works for older kids, and whether "whistling while they work" might be too much to ask. How do we get kids to cooperate? Our listener Alison asked: I would love some insight into engaging the cooperation of my two boys, 5 and almost 3 years old. At what age Is it reasonable to expect them to put away their toys, stay seated for meals, get in the bath without mind games, and get ready for bed in less than 60 minutes? They are capable, but rarely willing, and 8 out of 10 times it's an ordeal. We have routines, we announce transitions in advance, we give them choices and even try to make it fun, but I feel like I am either haranguing them constantly or seething with resentment or both. Do I just accept this is the season of my life? Is cooperation 2 out of 10 times a victory? Getting kids who are younger than three to "do their share" without a lot of coaxing and singing and clapping is pretty tough. Then when they're about six, kids' "fairness radar" kicks in, and they're much less focused on loading the dishwasher than on complaining about who is not currently helping. So there are roadblocks to kids' cooperation, to be sure, and in this episode we discuss: whether "whistling while they work" might be too much to ask how "connecting before directing" works for older kids how we can model cooperation and hope our kids get the hint. (It's worth a shot.) We mention our interview with Michaeleen Doucleff in this episode– you can hear that episode here: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/fresh-take-michaeleen-doucleff-on-raising-happy-helpful-little-humans/ Here are links to some other writing and books that we discuss in this episode: Cameron Kleimo for Motherly: How to get your kids to listen—without yelling Shelley Phillips for Lifehack: 6 Secrets to Getting Kids to Cooperate scholastic.com: Ages & Stages: Learning to Cooperate Terry Orlick: Cooperative Games and Sports Frank McCourt: Angela's Ashes Lemony Snicket: A Series of Unfortunate Events Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it! Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get your first month FREE on select crates at kiwico.com/motherhood. Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing100 and use code laughing100 to get $100 off including free shipping! Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Got a toy dumper? The way to engage little kids in household cooperativeness is to make it an outgrowth of spending time with you. Hear more in our "Getting Kids To Cooperate" episode, launching on Wednesday 9/28/21. This week's question comes from Lindsay via Instagram: I have a two-year-old who used to love helping me pick up his toys. The mess never got out of control. But ever since he became a big brother a month ago he is really struggling in general. Lately he won't help me pick up his toys, and after I clean them up, he will run over and dump them out and pull books off the bookshelves. I started leaving the mess till the end of the day so I'm not spending all day cleaning, but yesterday he tripped over all his toys and busted his lip open. Any advice on the toy mess and the transition from one to two kids would be great! You're right to have compassion about the struggle. It's only been a month since your little guy's world got turned upside down. Your life will get a little easier as the baby becomes more interesting to your toddler. In the meantime, you do want to clamp down on the toy-dumping. But a two-year-old is too young to clean up out of a magnanimous sense of the greater good. And if you give it too much attention– even negative attention– the unwanted behavior may escalate. In this episode, Amy gives suggestions for making the cleanup and organization of the play room as special time with Mommy– a time in which the infant sibling is far, far too immature to participate. She also gives ideas on restructuring a playroom to be more like a preschool classroom. Rotating out many of the toys will give your toddler less to dump out– and you may find that at playtime, he's even more absorbed with what he does have to play with. Dealing with a newborn *and* a toddler at home? Listen to "Surviving a Toddler And A Newborn" for tons of great listener-sourced advice! Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Want to read the transcript for this episode? Find it here on our website. Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, MD is a psychiatrist and author specializing in women's mental health. She is a frequent contributor to The New York Times and the founder of Gemma, the first digital education platform dedicated exclusively to women’s mental health. Dr. Lakshmin is most passionate about empowering women and sees her clinical work as a perinatal psychiatrist as an extension of this mission. In this episode we discuss mom guilt, stress, self-care, the anxiety of this ongoing pandemic moment, and how we can reclaim ourselves amidst it all. Get Gemma's latest course- Dealing with Mom Guilt, Marytr-Mode, and Perfectionism-here: https://gemmawomen.com/unloadmomguilt You can find Pooja on Instagram @womensmentalhealthdoc and at her website: poojalakshmin.com. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically proven feminine dryness formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more- and use the code FRESH to get 10% off. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it! Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get your first month FREE on select crates at kiwico.com/motherhood. Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing100 and use code laughing100 to get $100 off including free shipping! Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Almost one hundred years ago, the writer Virginia Woolf famously declared that a woman needed "a room of her own" in order to do important work– and that the lack (at that time) of a long history of important work by women could be attributed to the historical lack of that space, both physical and mental. 18 months into a pandemic, with classrooms still switching back to remote learning, and with spouses musing that they kind of like working from home, a lot of us are feeling the effects of Not Enough Space. In this episode, we discuss why women's work and spaces are often considered the most flexible; why we sometimes don't set boundaries for the time and space we'd really like; and how to go about reclaiming it. We will probably have to keep asking, but the work is worth it. We love this quote by sociologist Scarlett Brown, written before the pandemic ever existed: "It will require a much bigger cultural shift to change society in a way that doesn’t encourage men to occupy, while women accommodate. But allowing women a physical space simply to exist in without it being encroached upon can make a real difference." Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically proven feminine dryness formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more- and use the code FRESH to get 10% off. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it! Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get your first month FREE on select crates at kiwico.com/motherhood. Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing100 and use code laughing100 to get $100 off including free shipping! Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Couples disagree on a lot of things, but disagreements about parenting can cause problems in our marriages, and can make raising kids even more challenging than it already is. Amy says that when she and her spouse disagree about how to handle a parenting moment, they try to return to the motto "Same Team." Being fellow team members is a good way to think about it. Team members don't have to do things the same way -- but what they do is work together towards a common goal. Another way to address such disagreements is to use Nick North's ranking system for communicating with your partner about the importance of your personal needs and preferences. When we increasing our communication about which of the rules of the household we can be flexible about– and which are non-negotiable to us– we get closer to achieving our overall goal: to lessen the conflicts in our households. Margaret cites this article in this episode. Here are some other WFH episodes that deal with this topic: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/parenting-as-a-team/ https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/making-it-work-for-the-long-haul-with-guest-belinda-luscombe/ https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/is-this-battle-worth-fighting/ Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Danielle Dick is an internationally recognized expert on genetic and environmental influences on human behavior. Her new book is THE CHILD CODE: Understanding Your Child's Unique Nature for Happier, More Effective Parenting, which offers a science-based approach to parenting centered on a child’s unique genetic “code." In this Fresh Take interview, Danielle explains how understanding our child's unique genetic tendencies helps us parent that child more effectively. Our children’s genes lay the foundation for their dispositions, and they influence the way our children move through the world. By working with our children's genetic dispositions, we can support our children's strengths and help them navigate their challenges. Turns out the key to raising successful adults isn’t to try harder to mold our children, but rather to adapt our parenting strategies to the way our children are wired, and raise them o be who they were literally born to be. Find THE CHILD CODE in our Bookshop store or on Amazon. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically proven feminine dryness formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more- and use the code FRESH to get 10% off. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it! Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get your first month FREE on select crates at kiwico.com/motherhood. Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing100 and use code laughing100 to get $100 off including free shipping! Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing. Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What's your "wow, that was so me” story? What is something you did as a kid that exemplifies exactly who you are now? Amy was taking charge at grownup parties as a six-year-old. Margaret was getting her comedy censored in grade school. Neither of these things, in retrospect, seem 1% surprising. In this episode, we discuss some of our listeners' hilarious recollections of their younger selves, plus a few stories of our own– and a few more about our kids, who have also displayed their personalities early and often. Whether you were a Halloween-candy-counter or a neighborhood Encyclopedia Brown, you'll probably recognize your younger self in this episode! Are you listening to Toddler Purgatory? Our friends Molly and Blaire bring the hilarity and truth to discussions of life with kids six and under. Check it out: toddlerpurgatory.com. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically proven feminine dryness formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more- and use the code FRESH to get 10% off. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it! Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get your first month FREE on select crates at kiwico.com/motherhood. Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing100 and use code laughing100 to get $100 off including free shipping! Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing. Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There's a fine line between tired and overtired, and sometimes the right bedtime exit becomes clear only once you've blown right past it. A member of our Facebook group asked: How do I tell the difference between overtired and just plain not tired? In other words, is my toddler not settling to sleep because I’m putting him down too early or too late? Some of the main symptoms of overtiredness are hyperactivity, irritability, and clinginess– caused by a sudden rush of adrenalin. Here's how The Sleepy Company explains overtiredness: Your toddler's body goes from from the state of being ready for sleep to an "alert and active" state. The body can no longer cope with its fatigue and activates a stress response, pumping adrenalin and cortisol (the hormone that keeps us awake and alert) into the body. This interferes with the normal release of melatonin (the hormone that makes us drowsy), causing irritability and hyperactive behavior. You can be a detective about how your own kid manifests overtiredness so you get better at catching the right window– but in this episode, Amy suggests what may be an easier and more effective long-term approach. Consistency around bedtime– both the routines, and the time at which it occurs– takes the guesswork out of "is my kid ready for bed?", both for yourself and for your little one. Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Kate Anthony is the host of the critically acclaimed and New York Times recommended podcast The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast and the creator of the online coaching program Should I Stay or Should I Go? which helps women make the most difficult decision of their lives using coaching tools, relationship education, geeky neuroscience, community support, and deep self-work. In this episode, we discuss what should go into decision-making about whether to stay or to go how divorce can be amicable, even if the breakup (or the marriage) was not whether "conscious uncoupling" is actually achievable how to put kids at the center of our co-parenting (but not in the middle) when to start dating post-divorce (and when to let them meet the kids) You can find Kate at www.kateanthony.com and on Facebook and Instagram. You can Subscribe to The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast on iTunes here, and join her private Facebook group here. Have you checked out our merch yet? T-shirts, hoodies, notebooks and more: bit.ly/whatfreshmerch. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically proven feminine dryness formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more- and use the code FRESH to get 10% off. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it! Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get your first month FREE on select crates at kiwico.com/motherhood. Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing100 and use code laughing100 to get $100 off including free shipping! Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing. Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have we utterly lost the script when it comes to kids' birthday parties? Or are the backyard tents and petting zoos and themed catering lots of fun, and that's all that matters? Is there anything to be gained by simplifying the expectations, the gift-giving, and the goodie bags? In this episode we tease out what feels important about our kids' birthday celebrations from what can probably be put aside– and offer ideas for parties that are super-fun without breaking the bank. Have you checked out our merch yet? T-shirts, hoodies, notebooks and more: bit.ly/whatfreshmerch. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically proven feminine dryness formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more- and use the code FRESH to get 10% off. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it! Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get your first month FREE on select crates at kiwico.com/motherhood. Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing100 and use code laughing100 to get $100 off including free shipping! Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing. Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As parents, the thing we want most is for our children to be happy. When we see one of our kids spending a lot of time alone, and struggling with friendship,s it's natural to worry. But it's also important to resist the urge to swoop in and attempt to solve those problems. If a child seems depressed or extremely isolated, it is time to involve a therapist. But if a kid is going through a spell where they are struggling in more typical ways– especially in the middle or high school years– try to remember: to keep your own emotions out of it. Don't dive in to your own reactivity. not to ask a ton of questions, or offer "helpful observations" which might make your struggling kid feel singled out. to set your kid up for success by being a safe space for them to share information. Make family meal times and outings a non-negotiable routine. They're an opportunity for you to share your perspective and advice about friendships in general without putting your kid in the hot seat. Especially in times of turmoil, be the island of safety from which your kids can navigate the rough waters of growing up. All kids will face tough times in their friendships, but they need our grown-up guidance more than they need us to take control. Margaret quotes this article in this episode: Barb Steinberg for Your Teen Mag: My Teenage Daughter Has No Friends Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's a "Best Of" episode– and one of our all-time funniest. We asked our listeners to tell us their spouse/partner's most unacceptable- and also extremely minor- infractions. We got 356 responses. Whether it’s turning off the AC because of a nonexistent "cross breeze," creating a Sock Mountain, or pausing Netflix to point out plot holes, these husband (and wife) crimes are outrages which deserve justice. Join the fun in our Facebook group! Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically proven feminine dryness formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more- and use the code FRESH to get 10% off. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it! Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get your first month FREE on select crates at kiwico.com/motherhood. Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing100 and use code laughing100 to get $100 off including free shipping! Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing. Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Are you a rule breaker or a rule follower? Are you married to your opposite? We're both rule followers, and when one builds a life with someone who sees the "NO DOGS IN THE LAKE" sign as an invitation to let the golden retriever go for a swim, one is caught between two bad choices: swallow the horrible anxiety that others might think *you* are the sort of person who has zero consideration for clearly posted signage, or be the stick in the mud who can never loosen up a little. In this episode we discuss why both kinds of people exist, and bump up against each other– and why the "no rules pool" isn't as fun as it sounds how rules limit possibilities, good and bad why humans tend to create more rules during and after times of struggle whether kids are born to be rule followers It's worth the struggle to find the balance for our families. In order for our kids to have the secret thrill of breaking a rule, there need to be a few rules there in the first place. Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Michele Gelfand: Rule Makers, Rule Breakers: How Tight and Loose Cultures Wire Our World jthreenme: Raising a Rule Follower When You're Married To a Rule Breaker Diane Spear: Play By the Relationship Rules! Michele Gelfand for The Guardian: Why countries with 'loose', rule-breaking cultures have been hit harder by Covid Wikipedia: Rumspringa Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically proven feminine dryness formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more- and use the code FRESH to get 10% off. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it! Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get your first month FREE on select crates at kiwico.com/motherhood. Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing100 and use code laughing100 to get $100 off including free shipping! Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing. Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sometimes it seems like our kids are actually out to make our relationships with them worse. This week's question comes from our Facebook group: I think my 9-year-old is "soiling the nest." Is it normal at his age to try to get me to hate him? "Soiling the nest" is a term psychologists usually apply to kids about to leave home for college. Rather than deal with their ambivalence about leaving their childhood home, they "trash" it, making the departure easier. Basically, it's a "this place sucks anyhow!" attitude that is self-fulfilling. A 9-year-old is probably not doing this, exactly, but he could definitely be dealing with some anxiety about pandemic school, soccer tryouts, or other things that are less immediately obvious. Or maybe he's just being 9. Dr. Arnold Gesell's child development theory posits that children develop in a cyclical, spiral pattern, from periods of calm equilibrium to unsettled disequilibrium and back again. These sequences are similar and predictable for all kids, and although each develops at her own pace, the Center for Parenting Education says that "nine-year-olds seem to exhibit many worries and anxieties, and become more demanding as they cycle once again into disequilibrium." Knowing this is a phase, and that your child will return to his calmer, happier version of himself in about a year, can make dealing with the present nest-spoiling moment a little easier. It doesn't mean you don't ever push back on the back talk. But he'll probably grow out of it on his own very soon. For more on Gesell's theories and how it played out in her family, check out Amy's book When Did I Get Like This? Here are two articles on the topic that Amy cites in this episode: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2016/07/05/when-your-child-soils-the-nest-just-before-leaving-it/ https://centerforparentingeducation.org/library-of-articles/child-development/developmental-stages-the-roller-coaster-of-equilibrium-and-disequilibrium/ Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Christina Hillsberg is a former spy who worked at the CIA for more than twenty years before transitioning to the private sector. Her new book is LICENSE TO PARENT: How My Career as a Spy Helped Me Raise Resourceful, Self-Sufficient Kids, which provides both an inside look into one of the world’s most clandestine organizations, and a practical guide for how to utilize key spy tactics to teach kids important life skills. Christina believes teaching our kids the skills they need to navigate through life will make them more confident, well-rounded, and capable grownups. In this episode, we discuss some of the CIA's tenets of training and how we can apply them to our everyday lives as parents. Find LICENSE TO PARENT here in our Bookshop store! Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing. Stitch Fix Kids is here to ease the stress of shopping for kids' clothes! Go to stitchfix.com/kids/laughing and get 25% off when you keep everything in your Fix. Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Bobby Wonder is a kids' podcast from GoKidGo that the whole family can enjoy. Bobby Wonder is a typical guy who just found out he's from another planet. If your kid also loves to laugh, save the world, and eat waffles, subscribe or follow "Bobby Wonder" wherever you're listening right now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Some people say parents should never lie to their kids. We are not those people. We asked our listeners to tell us all the lies that totally worked for their kids– or worked on them when they were kids. Whether it's the ice cream truck's jingle indicating they're fresh out, the goldfish who was "just sleeping," or the unfortunate catastrophic fire at the macaroni and cheese factory, these are all the mom fibs you want in your repertoire. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing. Stitch Fix Kids is here to ease the stress of shopping for kids' clothes! Go to stitchfix.com/kids/laughing and get 25% off when you keep everything in your Fix. Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Bobby Wonder is a kids' podcast from GoKidGo that the whole family can enjoy. Bobby Wonder is a typical guy who just found out he's from another planet. If your kid also loves to laugh, save the world, and eat waffles, subscribe or follow "Bobby Wonder" wherever you're listening right now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When school drop-off is tough it can ruin the whole day. The feeling of walking away and leaving a sobbing kiddo at pre-school is just plain awful, but the reality is that most kids are happily playing 15 minutes later. This week a listener asks: Any tips for preschool drop off when kiddo gets shy/nervous and then refuses to go in? Our little one occasionally gave us a hard time at preschool drop offs pre-covid and with pre-k starting in a few weeks I want to have a whole tool box ready of things to try help those first few drop offs run smoothly. There's no go-to solution for making drop-offs tear-free. This situation is more in the "observe and adapt" category because you have to see how it's going, what's wrong and which parts of it can be fixed. The best thing to do about tough school drop-offs is to keep them in perspective. Remember that these events are not creating permanent emotional scars - rather they are phases where a child is working out their complicated feelings about separating from you. Still there are some adjustments you can make to help make the morning drop off routine consistent: make sure your child gets a good night sleep get up early enough that the morning isn't chaotic and rushed (I know - it's hard - but it's worth it) feed your child a good breakfast create a consistent drop off routine If you are doing all of these things and still struggling at drop-off, try working with your number one drop off ally - your child's teacher or daycare provider. Find out how long the tears are lasting after you leave (a teacher may be willing to text you to let you know when your kid is over their tears and enjoying their day) and strategize about how to make things run more smoothly (some kids may do well with a little extra time with mom or dad; some kids may need the "drop and dash" approach). But most of all keep in mind that this too shall pass - your child is gaining important independence and you'll get through it too - we promise. Margaret cites this article in this week's episode: Crying at Drop-Off Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“Use your head.” That’s what we tell ourselves when facing a tricky problem or a difficult project. But a growing body of research indicates that we’ve got it exactly backwards. What we need to do, says acclaimed science writer Annie Murphy Paul, is think outside the brain. In this "Fresh Take" interview we discuss how we can use "extra-neural" resources like gestures, body movements, and the simple act of getting outside to help both ourselves and our kids focus and learn. To find out more, check out anniemurphypaul.com Twitter: @anniemurphypaul Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Italic is a new kind of everything store. They offer quality goods from the same manufacturers as leading brands for up to 80% less. Sign up for an Italic membership at italic.com/join and use code WHATFRESHHELL for 30% off. Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Bobby Wonder is a kids' podcast from GoKidGo that the whole family can enjoy. Bobby Wonder is a typical guy who just found out he's from another planet. If your kid also loves to laugh, save the world, and eat waffles, subscribe or follow "Bobby Wonder" wherever you're listening right now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Does competition have benefits? What level of competition is healthy for our kids? Many of us agree that the stereotypical dad yelling through the fence at T-Ball is taking things a little too seriously. But others say that participation trophies teach our kids to be lazy and therefore represent the ultimate downfall of our civilization. How do we balance teaching the eye of the tiger with just letting our kids play? In this episode we get to the bottom of why some people are more competitive than others, what the right age is for kids to start learning the lessons of losing, and how competition (when it's done right) can actually teach cooperation and self-regulation. Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: 'Shirtless Tongan' Pita Taufatofua makes Olympic history Evolution of competitiveness: Scientists explain diversity in competitiveness Byron Heath on Kerri Strug Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing. Stitch Fix Kids is here to ease the stress of shopping for kids' clothes! Go to stitchfix.com/kids/laughing and get 25% off when you keep everything in your Fix. Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Italic is a new kind of everything store. They offer quality goods from the same manufacturers as leading brands for up to 80% less. Sign up for an Italic membership at italic.com/join and use code WHATFRESHHELL for 30% off. Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Bobby Wonder is a kids' podcast from GoKidGo that the whole family can enjoy. Bobby Wonder is a typical guy who just found out he's from another planet. If your kid also loves to laugh, save the world, and eat waffles, subscribe or follow "Bobby Wonder" wherever you're listening right now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ashley Brown is the founder and owner of Routine and Things, a product-based business equipping women to consistently live their happiest lives, one routine at a time. She also hosts the Routine and Things Podcast, a space to learn and become inspired on all things routine. Ashley strongly believes routines are a form of wellness and a pathway to a happier, less stressful life as a parent. We discuss Ashley's five areas of focus for routines, why planning routines *is* a routine for Ashley, and how it all works to make more room for what matters to you. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing. Stitch Fix Kids is here to ease the stress of shopping for kids' clothes! Go to stitchfix.com/kids/laughing and get 25% off when you keep everything in your Fix. Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Italic is a new kind of everything store. They offer quality goods from the same manufacturers as leading brands for up to 80% less. Sign up for an Italic membership at italic.com/join and use code WHATFRESHHELL for 30% off. Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Bobby Wonder is a kids' podcast from GoKidGo that the whole family can enjoy. Bobby Wonder is a typical guy who just found out he's from another planet. If your kid also loves to laugh, save the world, and eat waffles, subscribe or follow "Bobby Wonder" wherever you're listening right now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As the *third* school year affected by the pandemic begins (or approaches, depending on where you live), many of us are overcome with frustration. We thought this would be over by now. And yes, this pandemic has Lucy-with-the-football'ed us before. But in our Charlie Brown-like innocence, we really, really believed the pandemic was leaving for good this time. But the Delta variant had other plans. As did the extremely polar responses to masks and vaccines. It appears that while we might be done with Covid, Covid is not done with us. Here's how we're currently managing risk for the unvaccinated kids– and vaccinated teens and grownups– in our lives. There are no easy answers, but if we keep in mind that the enemy is the virus (and not one another) we might be able to meet our common goal at least a little sooner. Another detail to consider, this one coming out after we recorded this episode: according to the CDC, pediatric COVID-19-related hospital admissions in the U.S. have now seen their steepest and most significant increase since the onset of the pandemic. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing. Stitch Fix Kids is here to ease the stress of shopping for kids' clothes! Go to stitchfix.com/kids/laughing and get 25% off when you keep everything in your Fix. Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Italic is a new kind of everything store. They offer quality goods from the same manufacturers as leading brands for up to 80% less. Sign up for an Italic membership at italic.com/join and use code WHATFRESHHELL for 30% off. Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Bobby Wonder is a kids' podcast from GoKidGo that the whole family can enjoy. Bobby Wonder is a typical guy who just found out he's from another planet. If your kid also loves to laugh, save the world, and eat waffles, subscribe or follow "Bobby Wonder" wherever you're listening right now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Birthday parties are terrific but gifts can be a drag. Buying gifts for kids' parties can be an expensive hassle, and your kid receiving gifts can mean more plastic stuff she doesn't need or even really want. But is it possible to say "no gifts" for your kid's birthday? This week's question comes from Facebook, where Katie asks: What are your thoughts on putting a request for "no gifts" on children's party invitations? I know Emily Post considers it a major faux pas, but my inclination is that the rules can be relaxed for 4-year-olds (and their busy, perpetually stressed, pandemic-induced socially anxious parents). You can say "no gifts" for your child's birthday, although four may be a little young. You'll get better results if you get some serious buy-in from your child on a reason for going gift-free. Consider encouraging your child to find a cause or organization they would like to support– like a local animal shelter. Ask party guests to bring either a gift for your child or a donation for the shelter (like dog food). Then your child can go with you to the animal shelter to see the donations being put to good use. It's a great lesson for kids– to enjoy getting gifts while also sharing with others. Eventually your child may decide that they enjoy helping the causes they care about even more than getting gifts for themselves. You can also talk to your kids about the environmental impact of plastic toys and help them see that getting fewer gifts is better for the Earth. When it comes to bringing gifts to other kids' parties, you don't get a vote. If the invitation doesn't specify "no gifts," you should bring one, although you can decide to make those gifts simple and non-plastic if you desire– Margaret stocks up on gift cards to her local bookstore for those occasions. Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Amanda Knox is an exoneree, journalist, public speaker, and author of the New York Times best-selling memoir Waiting to Be Heard. Between 2007 and 2015, she spent nearly four years in an Italian prison and eight years on trial for a murder she didn’t commit. Since then, Amanda has written extensively about criminal justice reform. With her husband Christopher, Amanda hosts the Labyrinths podcast, in which they interview people about the times in their lives that they've felt most lost. Their most recent season is about the maze of infertility that many couples find themselves in, including Amanda and Christopher's own journey. In this "Fresh Take" interview, we talk to Amanda about the profound loneliness of our personal struggles; how she held on to "the hope that was available" even in her saddest times; and how we can be present for others going through extraordinary times, even if we can't be in their labyrinths with them. Special note: since we recorded this episode, Amanda has announced her pregnancy after a miscarriage earlier this year. Congratulations, Amanda and Christopher! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When a parent first hears about highly sensitive kids– or their opposite, sensory seekers– it can provide a profound moment of recognition, of connecting the dots for things about our kids that up until now have baffled us. We think understanding these sensory tendencies can help us parent our kids more effectively and compassionately. Not every kid who shows hyper- or hypo-sensitivity will go on to require occupational therapy, struggle in school, or anything else. But as childmind.org explains, ""These problems can be tough on kids, and get in the way of them functioning effectively, learning, and making friends." Every kid who displays these behaviors and preferences can benefit from a parent who understands and can therefore effectively support and address for the otherwise confusing behaviors that might ensue. We don't have to accommodate every dictate of an extremely picky eater, or messy playroom caused by a sensory seeker– but it's worth exploring, because it can really help us as parents to understand where these things might be coming from. Here are links to some helpful writing on this topic: this image from Miracle Maker Mom childmind.org: Sensory Processing FAQ Amanda Morin for understood.org: Sensory seeking and sensory avoiding: What you need to know Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing. Stitch Fix Kids is here to ease the stress of shopping for kids' clothes! Go to stitchfix.com/kids/laughing and get 25% off when you keep everything in your Fix. Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Italic is a new kind of everything store. They offer quality goods from the same manufacturers as leading brands for up to 80% less. Sign up for an Italic membership at italic.com/join and use code WHATFRESHHELL for 30% off. Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Hooked on Phonics is the learn-to-read program that has helped over 6 million kids learn to read. And now it offers a multi-sensory approach, which uniquely combines an amazing app with hands-on learning materials shipped to your home every month. Get your first month for just $1 by going to hookedonphonics.com/laughing. Some other podcasts we're loving right now: StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast is created by Munchkin, the most beloved baby brand in the world. Hosted by Faith Salie, this podcast is about the ups and downs of parenting life. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Bobby Wonder is a kids' podcast from GoKidGo that the whole family can enjoy. Bobby Wonder is a typical guy who just found out he's from another planet. If your kid also loves to laugh, save the world, and eat waffles, subscribe or follow "Bobby Wonder" wherever you're listening right now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week's question came from Instagram: What do you do when another parent wants to set up a playdate with your kid, but you know your kid doesn't want to play with them? Nothing harmful in the past- just kids who knew each other but don't have anything in common anymore. It seems rude to say my kid doesn't want to, but... my kid doesn't want to. Making scheduling excuses only goes so far... Most parents have been on both sides of this– trying to make friend connections on behalf of our own kid, who is feeling left out, and fielding "but he's so ANNOYING!" from that same child, feeling suddenly less than gracious to a friend they used to like perfectly fine. While there are no one-size-fits-all answers for this situation, Amy gives her been there, done that advice– including the notion that spending a little time with someone who's not our absolute favorite might be a life lesson worth learning. Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Lenore Skenazy is the author of Free-range Kids: How Parents and Teachers Can Let Go and Let Grow, the hugely influential parenting bestseller with a newly released second edition. The free-range movement really got started 12 years ago after Lenore's newspaper column “Why I Let My 9-Year-Old Ride the Subway Alone” created a media firestorm. Now Lenore is co-founder and president of Let Grow, the national nonprofit promoting childhood independence. In this "Fresh Take" interview we discuss the "back in our day" style of play we grew up with, and why having a free-range kid these days is more complicated than clearing their schedule and opening your back door. We talk about the crucial role of free play with kids of various ages in our children's development, and how to foster that idea in our schools and neighborhoods. Lenore is full of wit and insight, and you'll feel empowered to "let go and let grow" after listening to this episode! To find out more, check out letgrow.org, and follow Free-Range Kids and Let Grow on social media: Twitter: @freerangekids, @letgroworg Facebook: @Free-Range Kids Book, @Let Grow, @Raising Independent Kids, @Lenore Skenazy Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing100 and use code laughing100 to get $100 off including free shipping! Italic is a new kind of everything store. They offer quality goods from the same manufacturers as leading brands for up to 80% less. Sign up for an Italic membership at italic.com/join and use code WHATFRESHHELL for 30% off. Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Hooked on Phonics is the learn-to-read program that has helped over 6 million kids learn to read. And now it offers a multi-sensory approach, which uniquely combines an amazing app with hands-on learning materials shipped to your home every month. Get your first month for just $1 by going to hookedonphonics.com/laughing. Literati delivers their monthly book picks straight to your door, so you can spend less time finding a good book and more time actually reading one. And their app lets you chat about the books with the whole Literati community. Redeem your FREE trial at literati.com/whatfreshhell. Some other podcasts we're loving right now: StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast is created by Munchkin, the most beloved baby brand in the world. Hosted by Faith Salie, this podcast is about the ups and downs of parenting life. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Home.Made. podcast: inside every home, there’s a story. Hosted by Stephanie Foo (This American Life, Snap Judgment), each episode of this 10-part series explores the meaning of home and what it can teach us about ourselves and each other. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Bobby Wonder is a kids' podcast from GoKidGo that the whole family can enjoy. Bobby Wonder is a typical guy who just found out he's from another planet. If your kid also loves to laugh, save the world, and eat waffles, subscribe or follow "Bobby Wonder" wherever you're listening right now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why are some things hard for us but not our partners or our friends? Do we make things harder than they need to be? Or are some things, like picking up the phone and talking to a stranger to order pizza, just stupidly difficult for everyone? We asked our listeners: What seems harder to you than it needs to be? What's something you struggle with that you suspect you might be making a little more complicated than it needs to be? In this episode we discuss all the things that are perhaps overly hard for at least one of us, like packing for trips back-to-school shopping having people over cleaning out the car making new friends Is there hope? Can we learn anything from our friends for whom these same things are not at all hard? Listen and find out! Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing100 and use code laughing100 to get $100 off including free shipping! Italic is a new kind of everything store. They offer quality goods from the same manufacturers as leading brands for up to 80% less. Sign up for an Italic membership at italic.com/join and use code WHATFRESHHELL for 30% off. Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Hooked on Phonics is the learn-to-read program that has helped over 6 million kids learn to read. And now it offers a multi-sensory approach, which uniquely combines an amazing app with hands-on learning materials shipped to your home every month. Get your first month for just $1 by going to hookedonphonics.com/laughing. Literati delivers their monthly book picks straight to your door, so you can spend less time finding a good book and more time actually reading one. And their app lets you chat about the books with the whole Literati community. Redeem your FREE trial at literati.com/whatfreshhell. Some other podcasts we're loving right now: StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast is created by Munchkin, the most beloved baby brand in the world. Hosted by Faith Salie, this podcast is about the ups and downs of parenting life. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Home.Made. podcast: inside every home, there’s a story. Hosted by Stephanie Foo (This American Life, Snap Judgment), each episode of this 10-part series explores the meaning of home and what it can teach us about ourselves and each other. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Bobby Wonder is a kids' podcast from GoKidGo that the whole family can enjoy. Bobby Wonder is a typical guy who just found out he's from another planet. If your kid also loves to laugh, save the world, and eat waffles, subscribe or follow "Bobby Wonder" wherever you're listening right now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Our kids may be adorable and fresh-smelling when they are little, but somewhere along the way (thanks puberty!) they transform into oily stink-monsters. Once our kids reach a certain age, keeping up with our kids' hygiene feels like it shouldn't be a parent's job. But if we give up all oversight, some kids might walk around with bad teeth and frightening body odor. Most kids are capable of managing their own self-care, but they need to be taught the proper way to wash themselves brush their teeth take care of their skin apply deodorant Don't skip the step of really sitting your kids down and explaining HOW to do all of these things. If your kids are having trouble keeping up with their hygiene routines, or you find yourself constantly reminding them to brush their teeth or shower, consider making a schedule so these routines can happen without your involvement. If Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday are shower days then you don't have to constantly discuss whether or not your kid needs to shower. They just do, 'cause it's Tuesday. If teeth need to be brushed before kids come down in the morning, you don't have to nag them about whether or not it's happened. If they show up downstairs with funky teeth and bad breath, they already know they'll be going back upstairs. Putting rules and expectations around hygiene may be a little more work in the beginning, but in the long term it will truly help establish your ultimate goal: kids who can manage their own self-care. Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Nikki Weiner is the founder of Building Bold, and has served as a guest speaker in the U.S. and abroad on writing and the college admissions landscape. Nikki’s ultimate goal is to provide students with the tools to thrive through the admission process and beyond to reach their full potential. She tells Amy what's changed in the college admissions landscape– and it's a lot. Is test-optional here to stay? Why are so many schools suddenly so much harder to get into? What makes an application stand out? How can a student and her parent get through this process and still like each other on the other side? Whether you're going through the admissions process, are about to, or just wonder how it's all changed since you applied, you'll love this informative and reassuring explanation of how to navigate today's college admissions process. Follow Building Bold @buildingbold on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook, or at buildingboldstudents.com. Nikki and Amy both recommend the blog written by Jeff Schiffman, Director of Admissions at Tulane, in this episode. Coincidentally, this blog had its final post just last week, but its advice remains extremely useful: http://tuadmissionjeff.blogspot.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The news is hard for anyone to escape these days– and that includes our kids. Even the littlest ones might see a stray notification on a parent's phone, or overhear something scary from a television that was left on. A lot of us struggle with what to tell our kids, how much, and when. But if we don't give the kids any context, some older kid in the cafeteria might become their primary source of (mis)information. We discuss what age is old enough for difficult topics, what to do when the story is close to home, and how we can always lead with reassurance– plus the best ways to consume the news with, and in front of, our kids. Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Paul Underwood for NYT: Is the News Too Scary for Kids? NPR Parenting: What To Say To Kids When the News Is Scary Liz Gumbinner: No, I Don't Know. Please Don't Tell Me Common Sense Media: Best News Sources for Kids Special thanks to this month's sponsors: The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing100 and use code laughing100 to get $100 off including free shipping! Italic is a new kind of everything store. They offer quality goods from the same manufacturers as leading brands for up to 80% less. Sign up for an Italic membership at italic.com/join and use code WHATFRESHHELL for 30% off. Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Hooked on Phonics is the learn-to-read program that has helped over 6 million kids learn to read. And now it offers a multi-sensory approach, which uniquely combines an amazing app with hands-on learning materials shipped to your home every month. Get your first month for just $1 by going to hookedonphonics.com/laughing. Olive gets you consolidated, cardboard-free deliveries from over 100 of your favorite fashion sites. No cardboard-box waste! Returns are a snap. Best of all, you can sign up for free, at shopolive.com. Literati delivers their monthly book picks straight to your door, so you can spend less time finding a good book and more time actually reading one. And their app lets you chat about the books with the whole Literati community. Redeem your FREE trial at literati.com/whatfreshhell. Some other podcasts we're loving right now: StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast is created by Munchkin, the most beloved baby brand in the world. Hosted by Faith Salie, this podcast is about the ups and downs of parenting life. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Home.Made. podcast: inside every home, there’s a story. Hosted by Stephanie Foo (This American Life, Snap Judgment), each episode of this 10-part series explores the meaning of home and what it can teach us about ourselves and each other. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Bobby Wonder is a kids' podcast from GoKidGo that the whole family can enjoy. Bobby Wonder is a typical guy who just found out he's from another planet. If your kid also loves to laugh, save the world, and eat waffles, subscribe or follow "Bobby Wonder" wherever you're listening right now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

All kids lose stuff sometimes. Some kids lose stuff all the time. Sometimes it's ADHD or general inattention. Sometimes it's just a slower development of executive function. No matter what, it's frustrating (and expensive). What's a parent to do? A member of our Facebook group asked: Any suggestions for the kid who loses everything? My son is 9. He lost three sweatshirts in the two months he was in in-person school, a tennis racquet at tennis camp, baseball glove at baseball practice, shin guards at soccer camp… and don’t even get me started on water bottles! The “lost and found” turned up one of the many things he has lost, but that is it. He swears each time that he put the things in his bag. Unless, there is a sweaty shin guard thief, this obviously is untrue. We’ve tried charts and check lists. We’ve tried making him earn the replacement items, but nothing seems to stop the constant misplacing of items. HELP! For the truly forgetful kids, the oft-cited "natural consequences"– if he doesn't have his shin guards, he won't be able to play, and he'll sure remember next time!– rarely work. Your child will feel chagrined, but be just as likely to forget the next time. In this episode Amy suggests what has worked in her household, like making reminders unmissable (put the reminder ON the doorknob, not hanging above it) labeling everything that costs more than the label would (Amy uses oliverslabels.com) use list-making apps and model using them yourself (Amy uses Workflowy) and check out Carolyn Dalgliesh's ideas for helping forgetful kids get organized: http://www.carolyndalgliesh.com/ Kids do well if they can. Don’t give up on the checklists and the reminders if they don’t work right away. Keep your support system consistent– and non-shaming– and eventually your child will check for those shin guards before he leaves the field. Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Heidi Murkoff is a mother, a grandmother, and the author of the legendary What to Expect When You’re Expecting, with more than 19 million copies in print. Heidi is also the creator of the What to Expect Project, a nonprofit organization dedicated to helping all moms expect healthy pregnancies, safe deliveries, and healthy babies. In this interview we discuss maternal health for all women– and the clear and present need for improved maternal health care both in the U.S. and globally. An easy way to help raise awareness: July 21 is Bump Day! Tag your "bump" (past or present) on social media with the hashtag #bumpday and tag @whattoexpect. To find out more about the What To Expect Project and how you can get involved, go to https://www.whattoexpectproject.org/resources. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing100 and use code laughing100 to get $100 off including free shipping! Italic is a new kind of everything store. They offer quality goods from the same manufacturers as leading brands for up to 80% less. Sign up for an Italic membership at italic.com/join and use code WHATFRESHHELL for 30% off. Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Hooked on Phonics is the learn-to-read program that has helped over 6 million kids learn to read. And now it offers a multi-sensory approach, which uniquely combines an amazing app with hands-on learning materials shipped to your home every month. Get your first month for just $1 by going to hookedonphonics.com/laughing. Olive gets you consolidated, cardboard-free deliveries from over 100 of your favorite fashion sites. No cardboard-box waste! Returns are a snap. Best of all, you can sign up for free, at shopolive.com. Literati delivers their monthly book picks straight to your door, so you can spend less time finding a good book and more time actually reading one. And their app lets you chat about the books with the whole Literati community. Redeem your FREE trial at literati.com/whatfreshhell. Two other podcasts we're loving right now: StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast is created by Munchkin, the most beloved baby brand in the world. Hosted by Faith Salie, this podcast is about the ups and downs of parenting life. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Home.Made. podcast: inside every home, there’s a story. Hosted by Stephanie Foo (This American Life, Snap Judgment), each episode of this 10-part series explores the meaning of home and what it can teach us about ourselves and each other. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Youth is wasted on the young. We wasted our youth taking the wrong classes in college and layering imaginary agendas onto other people's dopey behavior. Sound familiar? We asked our listeners: If you could time travel, what advice would you give your younger self? Here's the best advice we all learned from doing things the wrong way! Special thanks to this month's sponsors: The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing100 and use code laughing100 to get $100 off including free shipping! Italic is a new kind of everything store. They offer quality goods from the same manufacturers as leading brands for up to 80% less. Sign up for an Italic membership at italic.com/join and use code WHATFRESHHELL for 30% off. Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Hooked on Phonics is the learn-to-read program that has helped over 6 million kids learn to read. And now it offers a multi-sensory approach, which uniquely combines an amazing app with hands-on learning materials shipped to your home every month. Get your first month for just $1 by going to hookedonphonics.com/laughing. Olive gets you consolidated, cardboard-free deliveries from over 100 of your favorite fashion sites. No cardboard-box waste! Returns are a snap. Best of all, you can sign up for free, at shopolive.com. Literati delivers their monthly book picks straight to your door, so you can spend less time finding a good book and more time actually reading one. And their app lets you chat about the books with the whole Literati community. Redeem your FREE trial at literati.com/whatfreshhell. Two other podcasts we're loving right now: StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast is created by Munchkin, the most beloved baby brand in the world. Hosted by Faith Salie, this podcast is about the ups and downs of parenting life. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Home.Made. podcast: inside every home, there’s a story. Hosted by Stephanie Foo (This American Life, Snap Judgment), each episode of this 10-part series explores the meaning of home and what it can teach us about ourselves and each other. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

One of the most important lessons from the pandemic may be "It is OK for kids to be bored". A lot of parents fear boredom because of the whining and complaining that comes along with it - but in this episode Margaret argues that one thing we learned from all of our downtime during the pandemic is that there IS something on the other side of boredom. Resist the urge to become the "cruise director" all summer long. Structure the day in loose blocks (yes - you can use your white board!) such as: Clearly defined screen times Clean-up time Reading time Kids choice (but no screens) Movie afternoon Family book club Kids only sports Board game time (kids only) Board game time with an adult Outdoor time (yes - even it is raining!) Parent/Kid time (a time when parents are fully involved and active in their kids' play) Bucket list activity (a fun activity that your child or your family has chosen - i.e. 'make Harry Potter chocolate frogs') It doesn't matter what these times are but these kinds of categories will make it easier to "fill" the day without always listening to complaining about boredom - or having mom being always in charge of "what's next". When mom's presence is requested you can point out out that you are busy right now - but you will see your kids at "Family Sports Time" (for example) You'll be sure to have a couple of exciting fun-filled days (like beach days or pool outings or a planned vacation) and that will break up the monotony of less-planned days but don't fear those "boring" days! Lean in to the boredom a bit and see what your kids discover! Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Olivia Martinez-Hauge is a marriage and family therapist specializing in the treatment of families, couples, and individuals who are caregiving for children or adults with neurodiversity. She is also a licensed occupational therapist with over two decades of experience helping children and their families. She is also a mother of three children, two with neurodiversity. In this "Fresh Take" interview, Olivia explains the grief and isolation that might come with special needs parenting her own journey moving past those emotions by parenting "from a place of present" the team of support that a parent of a special needs child needs how we can change our friend groups, schools, and societies to be more supportive of families with children who have special needs Whether you're a parent of a special needs or neurodiverse child, or just want to be a better friend to someone who is, you'll learn so much from this interview. Find out more about Olivia and her work at The Center for Connection and Neurodiversity here: https://www.thecenterforconnection.org/ Special thanks to this month's sponsors: The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing100 and use code laughing100 to get $100 off including free shipping! Italic is a new kind of everything store. They offer quality goods from the same manufacturers as leading brands for up to 80% less. Sign up for an Italic membership at italic.com/join and use code WHATFRESHHELL for 30% off. Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Hooked on Phonics is the learn-to-read program that has helped over 6 million kids learn to read. And now it offers a multi-sensory approach, which uniquely combines an amazing app with hands-on learning materials shipped to your home every month. Get your first month for just $1 by going to hookedonphonics.com/laughing. Olive gets you consolidated, cardboard-free deliveries from over 100 of your favorite fashion sites. No cardboard-box waste! Returns are a snap. Best of all, you can sign up for free, at shopolive.com. Literati delivers their monthly book picks straight to your door, so you can spend less time finding a good book and more time actually reading one. And their app lets you chat about the books with the whole Literati community. Redeem your FREE trial at literati.com/whatfreshhell. Two other podcasts we're loving right now: StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast is created by Munchkin, the most beloved baby brand in the world. Hosted by Faith Salie, this podcast is about the ups and downs of parenting life. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Home.Made. podcast: inside every home, there’s a story. Hosted by Stephanie Foo (This American Life, Snap Judgment), each episode of this 10-part series explores the meaning of home and what it can teach us about ourselves and each other. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Time for some easy wins! Here of some of our (and our listeners') favorite hacks for naptime diapers laundry kitchen sibling squabbles and General Sanity Preservation. This stuff really works! Special thanks to this month's sponsors: The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing100 and use code laughing100 to get $100 off including free shipping! Italic is a new kind of everything store. They offer quality goods from the same manufacturers as leading brands for up to 80% less. Sign up for an Italic membership at italic.com/join and use code WHATFRESHHELL for 30% off. Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Hooked on Phonics is the learn-to-read program that has helped over 6 million kids learn to read. And now it offers a multi-sensory approach, which uniquely combines an amazing app with hands-on learning materials shipped to your home every month. Get your first month for just $1 by going to hookedonphonics.com/laughing. Olive gets you consolidated, cardboard-free deliveries from over 100 of your favorite fashion sites. No cardboard-box waste! Returns are a snap. Best of all, you can sign up for free, at shopolive.com. Literati delivers their monthly book picks straight to your door, so you can spend less time finding a good book and more time actually reading one. And their app lets you chat about the books with the whole Literati community. Redeem your FREE trial at literati.com/whatfreshhell. Two other podcasts we're loving right now: StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast is created by Munchkin, the most beloved baby brand in the world. Hosted by Faith Salie, this podcast is about the ups and downs of parenting life. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Home.Made. podcast: inside every home, there’s a story. Hosted by Stephanie Foo (This American Life, Snap Judgment), each episode of this 10-part series explores the meaning of home and what it can teach us about ourselves and each other. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's a "Best Of" episode that launched a movement: What Kind Of Monster? Or #WKOM, as the Fresh Hellions in our Facebook group call it. Our highest calling here at What Fresh Hell is to serve as a safe space for our listeners to tell us what really, truly drives them up the wall. What kind of monster listens to videos on speaker? Keeps the keyboard clicks on their phone? What kind of monster takes up two parking spots? Puts empty cereal boxes back in the cabinet? (Disclaimer: there is a monster in the mirror, as well. But we're not talking about that today so much... or ever.) Special thanks to this month's sponsors: The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing100 and use code laughing100 to get $100 off including free shipping! Italic is a new kind of everything store. They offer quality goods from the same manufacturers as leading brands for up to 80% less. Sign up for an Italic membership at italic.com/join and use code WHATFRESHHELL for 30% off. Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Hooked on Phonics is the learn-to-read program that has helped over 6 million kids learn to read. And now it offers a multi-sensory approach, which uniquely combines an amazing app with hands-on learning materials shipped to your home every month. Get your first month for just $1 by going to hookedonphonics.com/laughing. Olive gets you consolidated, cardboard-free deliveries from over 100 of your favorite fashion sites. No cardboard-box waste! Returns are a snap. Best of all, you can sign up for free, at shopolive.com. Literati delivers their monthly book picks straight to your door, so you can spend less time finding a good book and more time actually reading one. And their app lets you chat about the books with the whole Literati community. Redeem your FREE trial at literati.com/whatfreshhell. Two other podcasts we're loving right now: StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast is created by Munchkin, the most beloved baby brand in the world. Hosted by Faith Salie, this podcast is about the ups and downs of parenting life. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Home.Made. podcast: inside every home, there’s a story. Hosted by Stephanie Foo (This American Life, Snap Judgment), each episode of this 10-part series explores the meaning of home and what it can teach us about ourselves and each other. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We see birth order play out pretty clearly, both in our own families and in our families of origin. But is it a bad thing? Is it a thing to fight back against? Is there a way to make the older child less stressed, and the baby maybe a little *more* motivated? And is it a problem if our own birth order has shaped who we are as adults and how we parent? We think the answer is: not really. These stereotypes are so ingrained because the effects of birth order are real. But that's not to say the things that result are all negative, or completely determinative, or that your middle kid is doomed to a life of unhappiness just because she was unlucky enough to get a younger sibling. Still, awareness of the effects of birth order seems important, if only to catch ourselves when we're inadvertently reinforcing those roles. That's when we can give the youngest a little more responsibility, the oldest a little less– and let the middle kid pick what’s for dinner once in a while. Interested in hearing more? Check out two of our past episodes: "Birth Order- Parenting Each Child Best (More or Less)" "Middle Kids" Two other podcasts we're loving right now: StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast is created by Munchkin, the most beloved baby brand in the world. Hosted by Faith Salie, this podcast is about the ups and downs of parenting life. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Home.Made. podcast: inside every home, there’s a story. Hosted by Stephanie Foo (This American Life, Snap Judgment), each episode of this 10-part series explores the meaning of home and what it can teach us about ourselves and each other. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Usual Wines come in single-serve six-ounce bottles– about a glass and a half of wine. They’ve got a red blend, a rosé, a sparkling white, plus Usual Spritz, a low-calorie wine cooler. Each has just 83 calories- and they're fermented until there's no more sugar. Get $8 off your first order at usualwines.com with the code FRESHHELL. Hooked on Phonics is the learn-to-read program that has helped over 6 million kids learn to read. And now it offers a multi-sensory approach, which uniquely combines an amazing app with hands-on learning materials shipped to your home every month. Get your first month for just $1 by going to hookedonphonics.com/laughing. Olive gets you consolidated, cardboard-free deliveries from over 100 of your favorite fashion sites. No cardboard-box waste! Returns are a snap. Best of all, you can sign up for free, at shopolive.com. Literati delivers their monthly book picks straight to your door, so you can spend less time finding a good book and more time actually reading one. And their app lets you chat about the books with the whole Literati community. Redeem your FREE trial at literati.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We sometimes feel nothing should be kept secret between us and our children, but that's not really true. We do need to talk often with our kids about the difference between inappropriate secrets (an adult asking them to keep something secret from their parents) and appropriate ones (the present we are hiding in the garage for Dad's birthday). Today's question comes from our Facebook group: How do teach kids when to keep secrets? Like not telling other kids about Santa, or how babies are made? Or how twhen not to talk about a topic, like puberty, with others? Conversations about secrets should be ongoing. What is the difference between tattling and telling? When is it appropriate to keep a friend's confidence? What if you know a friend is in trouble, but you've been asked to keep it secret? Your child will likely need help navigating these types of dilemmas throughout their childhood. One way to make this easier is to define a spectrum of secret-keeping. On side are secrets that are always inappropriate: Adults asking you to do things that make you uncomfortable, and to keep that from your parents Friends doing things that worry or scare you, and telling you not to tell anyone On the other side are secrets that are always OK: Surprises (We're taking Mom on a trip for her birthday next week but don't tell her yet) Keeping magic alive for younger kids (Not telling little kids there is no Santa) Private Things (Things that are going on with your body that are private) Neither of these categories is absolute, which is why an ongoing dialogue is important. Help kids think about different types of secrets they might be asked to keep in advance. Talk with other family members and caregivers about the language used around secrets. Discourage grandparents from saying things like "This is a secret! Don't tell Mom!" when they take the kids out for treats. Check out our earlier episode on secrets here: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/when-should-kids-tell/ In this episode Margaret references this link from Fatherly.com: https://www.fatherly.com/parenting/how-to-teach-a-kid-to-keep-a-secret/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Dawn Huebner is a psychologist, parent coach, and the author of 10 books for children, most of which we have on our bookshelves at home. Her new book is The Sibling Survival Guide: Surefire Ways to Solve Conflicts, Reduce Rivalry, and Have More Fun with Your Brothers and Sisters, which helps kids acquire the skills they need to get along with their siblings. Dawn believes that sibling rivalry is best quashed by the kids themselves, not by parents coming in to settle scores. She tells kids that they truly have the power to "stop feeling so bothered and start having more fun." In this episode, Dawn explains the difference between treating siblings fairly and treating them equally, the difference between tattling and telling, and how our stepping out of the role as referee can lead to a seismic shift in how our kids get along. Follow Dawn on her Facebook page and website: dawnhuebnerphd.com and get The Sibling Survival Guide here: https://www.dawnhuebnerphd.com/the-sibling-survival-guide-surefire-ways-to-solve-conflicts-reduce-rivalry-and-have-more-fun-with-brothers-and-sisters/ Two other podcasts we're loving right now: StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast is created by Munchkin, the most beloved baby brand in the world. Hosted by Faith Salie, this podcast is about the ups and downs of parenting life. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Home.Made. podcast: inside every home, there’s a story. Hosted by Stephanie Foo (This American Life, Snap Judgment), each episode of this 10-part series explores the meaning of home and what it can teach us about ourselves and each other. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Special thanks to this month's sponsors! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Usual Wines come in single-serve six-ounce bottles– about a glass and a half of wine. They’ve got a red blend, a rosé, a sparkling white, plus Usual Spritz, a low-calorie wine cooler. Each has just 83 calories- and they're fermented until there's no more sugar. Get $8 off your first order at usualwines.com with the code FRESHHELL. Hooked on Phonics is the learn-to-read program that has helped over 6 million kids learn to read. And now it offers a multi-sensory approach, which uniquely combines an amazing app with hands-on learning materials shipped to your home every month. Get your first month for just $1 by going to hookedonphonics.com/laughing. Olive gets you consolidated, cardboard-free deliveries from over 100 of your favorite fashion sites. No cardboard-box waste! Returns are a snap. Best of all, you can sign up for free, at shopolive.com. Literati delivers their monthly book picks straight to your door, so you can spend less time finding a good book and more time actually reading one. And their app lets you chat about the books with the whole Literati community. Redeem your FREE trial at literati.com/whatfreshhell. Quince is a game-changer for your wardrobe and your home, with high-quality essentials at prices 50-80% less than other brands. Free shipping and 365-day returns at onequince.com/fresh. Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low carb, and GMO-free. Go to magicspoon.com/fresh to grab the new limited edition Birthday Cake flavor today! And use code FRESH at checkout to save $5 off. Parade makes creative underwear and bralettes in a variety of sizes from extra small to 3 XL. Supersoft, super-cute, and prices that start at $8! Get 25% off when you spend $40 or more at yourparade.com/wfh with code WFH. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Can we become more inclusive as parents? Inclusivity has great benefits for everyone involved. We loved this explanation from Bright Horizons: "Too often, inclusiveness is described as something we should do to benefit others. Being inclusive is more than a moral obligation—although this alone is enough reason to practice it. When we are inclusive we aren’t divided. Instead, our world becomes enlarged. We gain relationships and experiences that enrich us. We recognize that we are all different, and that those differences bring joy to living." In this episode, we talk about how to get "wider" (more intentionally inclusive) in our family lives and in our communities. and how to bring our kids into that conversation. Here are links to some writing on topic (plus our own episodes) that we refer to in this episode: Melissa Hart for Parents: 5 Ways to Help Children Be More Inclusive of Other Kids Bright Horizons: Raising An Inclusive Child welcomingschools.org weneeddiversebooks.org Fresh Take: Judith Warner Talking With Our Kids About Race: Deborah Porter Fresh Take: Ellen Kahn Fresh Take: Radha Agrawal Two other podcasts we're loving right now: StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast is created by Munchkin, the most beloved baby brand in the world. Hosted by Faith Salie, this podcast is about the ups and downs of parenting life. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Home.Made. podcast: inside every home, there’s a story. Hosted by Stephanie Foo (This American Life, Snap Judgment), each episode of this 10-part series explores the meaning of home and what it can teach us about ourselves and each other. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Special thanks to this month's sponsors! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Usual Wines come in single-serve six-ounce bottles– about a glass and a half of wine. They’ve got a red blend, a rosé, a sparkling white, plus Usual Spritz, a low-calorie wine cooler. Each has just 83 calories- and they're fermented until there's no more sugar. Get $8 off your first order at usualwines.com with the code FRESHHELL. Hooked on Phonics is the learn-to-read program that has helped over 6 million kids learn to read. And now it offers a multi-sensory approach, which uniquely combines an amazing app with hands-on learning materials shipped to your home every month. Get your first month for just $1 by going to hookedonphonics.com/laughing. Olive gets you consolidated, cardboard-free deliveries from over 100 of your favorite fashion sites. No cardboard-box waste! Returns are a snap. Best of all, you can sign up for free, at shopolive.com. Literati delivers their monthly book picks straight to your door, so you can spend less time finding a good book and more time actually reading one. And their app lets you chat about the books with the whole Literati community. Redeem your FREE trial at literati.com/whatfreshhell. Quince is a game-changer for your wardrobe and your home, with high-quality essentials at prices 50-80% less than other brands. Free shipping and 365-day returns at onequince.com/fresh. Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low carb, and GMO-free. Go to magicspoon.com/fresh to grab the new limited edition Birthday Cake flavor today! And use code FRESH at checkout to save $5 off. Parade makes creative underwear and bralettes in a variety of sizes from extra small to 3 XL. Supersoft, super-cute, and prices that start at $8! Get 25% off when you spend $40 or more at yourparade.com/wfh with code WFH. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It can be confusing and a little concerning when a toddler suddenly develops a stutter or a stammer. A member of our Facebook group asked: My daughter (27 months) seems to have recently developed a stammer/stutter, or maybe it has just gotten to the point where we notice it now. Instead of saying "Can I have that?" like she used to, she now says "Ca- ca- ca- can I have that?". It's usually only at the beginning of a sentence or thought, and most often when she is excited. But it's happening a lot. Part of me thinks it's nothing to get too worried over as she is only two, she's still developing her language skills, and it's more prevalent when she is excited. And the other part of me is a little worried. I've heard it's best to just wait patiently for her to finish her thought and that's what I usually do, although my husband keeps telling her to think about what she wants to say before saying it. If anyone has gone through this with their little one, did it resolve itself? How? When? What's the best approach? Stuttering in toddlers is very common, because children's language acquisition skills are more like a zigzag than a straight line. Sometimes stuttering can show up when a child's speech and language development lags behind what he or she needs or wants to say. It's definitely best for you and your partner to be on the same page about ignoring the stutter. Don't finish her sentences, tell her to slow down, or do other things to draw more attention to it. Your daughter may not even be aware it's happening, which is actually a positive indicator. But "ignore it" doesn't necessarily mean "never get a professional opinion or seek therapeutic support." Sometimes speech therapy is required. But at your daughter's age it's too early to make that call. You're in the collecting information stage. Don't worry about the stuttering– it's a typical stage in childhood speech development– but do keep a few notes about when it comes and goes, and mention it at your next pediatric visit. Two useful resources: http://www.coloradostutteringtherapy.com/childhood-stuttering/ https://www.stutteringhelp.org/differential-diagnosis Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Margaret "Maggie" Quinlan and Bethany Johnson are the co-authors of the book You’re Doing it Wrong! Mothering, Media and Medical Expertise. This book investigates the history of mothering advice in the media, from the 19th century to today, and the processes by which mothering has been defined, from getting pregnant to being pregnant to giving birth to whether "that baby" needs a hat on. Like most moms, Maggie and Bethany questioned their own parenting decisions because they understood their choices would be met with scrutiny exercised in few other arenas. They suggest that the first step to freeing ourselves from the socially prescribed perfectionism of motherhood is to realize that no matter what you decide, there will always be someone telling you "you're doing it wrong." Margaret "Maggie" Quinlan is a Professor of Communication at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte. She explores how communication creates, resists and transforms knowledges about bodies, and critiques power structures that marginalize certain people both inside and outside of healthcare systems. Bethany Johnson is a PHD candidate at the University of South Carolina. She studies how science, medical technology, and public health discourses are framed and reproduced by those with structural power. Get YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG! in our Bookshop store: https://bookshop.org/books/you-re-doing-it-wrong-mothering-media-and-medical-expertise/9780813593784. To find out more about their work: http://johnsonquinlanresearch.com. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Looking for another great parenting podcast? StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast is created by Munchkin, the most beloved baby brand in the world. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Usual Wines come in single-serve six-ounce bottles– about a glass and a half of wine. They’ve got a red blend, a rosé, a sparkling white, plus Usual Spritz, a low-calorie wine cooler. Each has just 83 calories- and they're fermented until there's no more sugar. Get $8 off your first order at usualwines.com with the code FRESHHELL. Hooked on Phonics is the learn-to-read program that has helped over 6 million kids learn to read. And now it offers a multi-sensory approach, which uniquely combines an amazing app with hands-on learning materials shipped to your home every month. Get your first month for just $1 by going to hookedonphonics.com/laughing. Olive gets you consolidated, cardboard-free deliveries from over 100 of your favorite fashion sites. No cardboard-box waste! Returns are a snap. Best of all, you can sign up for free, at shopolive.com. Literati delivers their monthly book picks straight to your door, so you can spend less time finding a good book and more time actually reading one. And their app lets you chat about the books with the whole Literati community. Redeem your FREE trial at literati.com/whatfreshhell. Quince is a game-changer for your wardrobe and your home, with high-quality essentials at prices 50-80% less than other brands. Free shipping and 365-day returns at onequince.com/fresh. Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low carb, and GMO-free. Go to magicspoon.com/fresh to grab the new limited edition Birthday Cake flavor today! And use code FRESH at checkout to save $5 off. Parade makes creative underwear and bralettes in a variety of sizes from extra small to 3 XL. Supersoft, super-cute, and prices that start at $8! Get 25% off when you spend $40 or more at yourparade.com/wfh with code WFH. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's hard to admit things aren't perfect. It's especially hard for moms. Psychologists Paul Hewitt and Gordon Flett described three types of perfectionism in the 1990s: self-directed (I must be a size 2), others-directed (do that piano exercise again until you get it right), and "socially mediated" perfectionism, which comes from society making unrealistic demands of a person or a group and punishes that person when she falls short. Sound familiar? Turns out the amount of socially mediated perfectionism a parent feels is directly related to her level of "parental burnout," defined as exhaustion in one’s role as a parent, feelings of being fed up as a parent, and even emotional distancing from one’s children. Not the place any of us want to get to. So why is it so hard to admit things aren't perfect? And how can we start? Here are links to some of the research on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Fatemeh Ghanbari Jahromia et al: The relationship between socially prescribed perfectionism and depression: The mediating role of maladaptive cognitive schemas Paul Hewitt and Gordon Flett: Perfectionism in the Self and Social Contexts Matilda Sorkkila and Kaisa Aunola: Risk Factors for Parental Burnout among Finnish Parents: The Role of Socially Prescribed Perfectionism Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Looking for another great parenting podcast? StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast is created by Munchkin, the most beloved baby brand in the world. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Usual Wines come in single-serve six-ounce bottles– about a glass and a half of wine. They’ve got a red blend, a rosé, a sparkling white, plus Usual Spritz, a low-calorie wine cooler. Each has just 83 calories- and they're fermented until there's no more sugar. Get $8 off your first order at usualwines.com with the code FRESHHELL. Hooked on Phonics is the learn-to-read program that has helped over 6 million kids learn to read. And now it offers a multi-sensory approach, which uniquely combines an amazing app with hands-on learning materials shipped to your home every month. Get your first month for just $1 by going to hookedonphonics.com/laughing. Olive gets you consolidated, cardboard-free deliveries from over 100 of your favorite fashion sites. No cardboard-box waste! Returns are a snap. Best of all, you can sign up for free, at shopolive.com. Literati delivers their monthly book picks straight to your door, so you can spend less time finding a good book and more time actually reading one. And their app lets you chat about the books with the whole Literati community. Redeem your FREE trial at literati.com/whatfreshhell. Quince is a game-changer for your wardrobe and your home, with high-quality essentials at prices 50-80% less than other brands. Free shipping and 365-day returns at onequince.com/fresh. Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low carb, and GMO-free. Go to magicspoon.com/fresh to grab the new limited edition Birthday Cake flavor today! And use code FRESH at checkout to save $5 off. Parade makes creative underwear and bralettes in a variety of sizes from extra small to 3 XL. Supersoft, super-cute, and prices that start at $8! Get 25% off when you spend $40 or more at yourparade.com/wfh with code WFH. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

One question we get over and over again is about dealing with grandparents who say to our kids, "I want to– but your mom won't let me." We have a general guideline that you only have three times available to speak to your parents or in-laws about things they do that bother you. This "Rule of Three" forces us to consider whether any given issue is worth discussing, and most importantly, whether it is the rare behavior that might actually be changed by having a confrontational conversation about it. With the issue of undermining, Margaret thinks it might be worth a try. Sit down and have a conversation where you simply say, "When you say that you'd like to do something that my kids wants, only I won't allow it, it hurts my feelings, and it makes it harder for me to enforce the rules that are important to me." If this simple statement doesn't change this behavior long-term (spoiler alert: it probably won't) then the next step is to respond by restating your rules and your reasoning to your children, each and every time this happens. When Grandma says, "I would love to buy you ice cream, but your mom won't let me!" you respond, "That's right, because the rule in our house is that we have one dessert a day, and you had ice cream after lunch." As you calmly and directly restate your rules, you neutralize any attempt to undermine you. It may also help to restate rules before things come up, and in front of the undermining grandparent, "We're going to Target to get a new bathing suit but let's remember we're not buying any toys today." It's important to remember that the occasional annoying comment where Grandma sides with your kid will have few actual consequences. Your kid is not going to be led wildly astray by Grandma's remarks. The best thing to do about it is probably to vent (briefly) to a friend or Facebook group about how annoying it is, and then move on. If you keep your own rules clear, and restate them when contradictory statements are made, your kids will stay clear on who is really in charge. Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ellen Kahn is the Senior Director of Programs and Partnerships at the Human Rights Campaign. In her role, Ellen provides national leadership and expertise in public education and advocacy efforts on behalf of LGBTQ youth and families. Ellen is nationally recognized as an expert on LGBTQ family life and LGBTQ youth. She's also a proud mom of two teenage daughters. In this interview, Ellen explains how parents can create a home environment that affirms and accepts LGBTQ children, and how to advocate for LGBTQ kids in the larger world– whether they're our own children or not. As Ellen explains: "It's all of us together, chiseling away at the reason parents can be fearful when they find out their child is LGBTQ. Let's just not raise bullies anymore." Here are a few additional resources mentioned in this episode: Human Rights Campaign's welcomingschools.org pflag.org "Serendipitydodah- Home of the Mama Bears" Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/Serendipitydodah Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Looking for another great parenting podcast? StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast is created by Munchkin, the most beloved baby brand in the world. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Usual Wines come in single-serve six-ounce bottles– about a glass and a half of wine. They’ve got a red blend, a rosé, a sparkling white, plus Usual Spritz, a low-calorie wine cooler. Each has just 83 calories- and they're fermented until there's no more sugar. Get $8 off your first order at usualwines.com with the code FRESHHELL. Hooked on Phonics is the learn-to-read program that has helped over 6 million kids learn to read. And now it offers a multi-sensory approach, which uniquely combines an amazing app with hands-on learning materials shipped to your home every month. Get your first month for just $1 by going to hookedonphonics.com/laughing. Olive gets you consolidated, cardboard-free deliveries from over 100 of your favorite fashion sites. No cardboard-box waste! Returns are a snap. Best of all, you can sign up for free, at shopolive.com. Literati delivers their monthly book picks straight to your door, so you can spend less time finding a good book and more time actually reading one. And their app lets you chat about the books with the whole Literati community. Redeem your FREE trial at literati.com/whatfreshhell. Quince is a game-changer for your wardrobe and your home, with high-quality essentials at prices 50-80% less than other brands. Free shipping and 365-day returns at onequince.com/fresh. Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low carb, and GMO-free. Go to magicspoon.com/fresh to grab the new limited edition Birthday Cake flavor today! And use code FRESH at checkout to save $5 off. Parade makes creative underwear and bralettes in a variety of sizes from extra small to 3 XL. Supersoft, super-cute, and prices that start at $8! Get 25% off when you spend $40 or more at yourparade.com/wfh with code WFH. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Our merch store is live! Get your T-shirts, hoodies, onesies, and notebooks: bit.ly/whatfreshmerch. An "Achilles Heel" is a weakness in spite of overall strength. If exploited by our enemies, that small area of vulnerability can be responsible for our total, tragic downfall. This week we asked the members of our Facebook group to tell us their greatest weaknesses as parents and humans. From whistling to growth spurts to the constant, constant talking, in this episode we (and our listeners) fess up. We figured this out while recording this episode: our weaknesses and strengths are two sides of the same coin. Amy's superpower is organization; her downfall is an inability to relax amidst even mild chaos. Margaret's superpower is fun; her weak spots include the unfortunately large parenting categories of Things That Aren't Fun. Whatever your Achilles heel may be, keep in mind the "in spite of overall strength" part. All in all, you're doing great. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Looking for another great parenting podcast? StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast is created by Munchkin, the most beloved baby brand in the world. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Usual Wines come in single-serve six-ounce bottles– about a glass and a half of wine. They’ve got a red blend, a rosé, a sparkling white, plus Usual Spritz, a low-calorie wine cooler. Each has just 83 calories- and they're fermented until there's no more sugar. Get $8 off your first order at usualwines.com with the code FRESHHELL. Hooked on Phonics is the learn-to-read program that has helped over 6 million kids learn to read. And now it offers a multi-sensory approach, which uniquely combines an amazing app with hands-on learning materials shipped to your home every month. Get your first month for just $1 by going to hookedonphonics.com/laughing. Olive gets you consolidated, cardboard-free deliveries from over 100 of your favorite fashion sites. No cardboard-box waste! Returns are a snap. Best of all, you can sign up for free, at shopolive.com. Literati delivers their monthly book picks straight to your door, so you can spend less time finding a good book and more time actually reading one. And their app lets you chat about the books with the whole Literati community. Redeem your FREE trial at literati.com/whatfreshhell. Quince is a game-changer for your wardrobe and your home, with high-quality essentials at prices 50-80% less than other brands. Free shipping and 365-day returns at onequince.com/fresh. Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low carb, and GMO-free. Go to magicspoon.com/fresh to grab the new limited edition Birthday Cake flavor today! And use code FRESH at checkout to save $5 off. Parade makes creative underwear and bralettes in a variety of sizes from extra small to 3 XL. Supersoft, super-cute, and prices that start at $8! Get 25% off when you spend $40 or more at yourparade.com/wfh with code WFH. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How can a mom whose only parenting experience has been during Covid feel okay about protecting her newborn in a post-pandemic world? A listener emailed us to say: I am pregnant with my second baby, due in September. Now that we are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel I don't think I know how to be a mom in a post-COVID world. I have learned how to be a parent during a pandemic and that is my family's "normal," it's all we know! Our family and friends have already started talking about how they can't wait to be able to come to my house and hold the baby when he's born, now that COVID is "over". We've been invited to huge family Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations (to make-up for missing last year) and I am already freaking out! Company with a newborn? Nope, not for me. After explaining my feelings to my husband, he and I agreed we will not allow visitors to our home for [at least] the first month after I have the new baby. Give it to me straight... am I being ridiculous and unfair? I realize my family and friends did not get to experience my first born's first months because of the pandemic, but I am feeling pretty strongly about doing it without company again. Second question... how do I learn how to be a post-pandemic mom? Do I go back and listen to old episodes you both taped before the world turned upside down, or do you think parenting has changed forever!? -Sincerely, Isolated, Stubborn, and Not Sorry We think there are only a few times in your life when what you say goes: your wedding, your big birthdays, and what happens with your newborns when they come home from the hospital. You are entirely entitled to make the decisions that feel safest for your family, and others are entitled to like those decisions or not. But we suggest that it's too early to decide what will happen at the holidays this year. You shouldn't be receiving undue pressure to attend, but you don't have to rule it all out yet, either. We're still very much in a "still collecting information" phase. Once the calendar says November, then you can make a decision about Thanksgiving, based on the most up-to-date information– and your comfort levels– at that time. Becoming a "post-pandemic mom" might be a very gradual process for you, and that's okay. Take advantage of warmer weather to do things outside; keep masks on if that makes you more comfortable; and don't accept the burden of Other People's Feelings About That. Better days are already here and are almost certainly in our future, and you will feel more comfortable– but on your own timeline. Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Kira Dorrian and Deana Thayer are parent coaches and authors who are passionate about preparing families to thrive on their parenting journeys. They're the co-founders of Future Focused Parenting, the parenting philosophy that starts with the end in mind, thereby encouraging families to make intentional parenting choices. They are also co-hosts of the Raising Adults Podcast where they discuss parenting with a long-range view. In this "Fresh Take" interview, Kira and Dorrian explain the benefits of future-focused parenting, and how it can make our daily parenting decisions clearer– both for ourselves and for our kids. Follow Kira and Deana, and find out more about their work, at http://bit.ly/raisingadultspodcast. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Looking for another great parenting podcast? StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast is created by Munchkin, the most beloved baby brand in the world. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Usual Wines come in single-serve six-ounce bottles– about a glass and a half of wine. They’ve got a red blend, a rosé, a sparkling white, plus Usual Spritz, a low-calorie wine cooler. Each has just 83 calories- and they're fermented until there's no more sugar. Get $8 off your first order at usualwines.com with the code FRESHHELL. Hooked on Phonics is the learn-to-read program that has helped over 6 million kids learn to read. And now it offers a multi-sensory approach, which uniquely combines an amazing app with hands-on learning materials shipped to your home every month. Get your first month for just $1 by going to hookedonphonics.com/laughing. Olive gets you consolidated, cardboard-free deliveries from over 100 of your favorite fashion sites. No cardboard-box waste! Returns are a snap. Best of all, you can sign up for free, at shopolive.com. Literati delivers their monthly book picks straight to your door, so you can spend less time finding a good book and more time actually reading one. And their app lets you chat about the books with the whole Literati community. Redeem your FREE trial at literati.com/whatfreshhell. Quince is a game-changer for your wardrobe and your home, with high-quality essentials at prices 50-80% less than other brands. Free shipping and 365-day returns at onequince.com/fresh. Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low carb, and GMO-free. Go to magicspoon.com/fresh to grab the new limited edition Birthday Cake flavor today! And use code FRESH at checkout to save $5 off. Parade makes creative underwear and bralettes in a variety of sizes from extra small to 3 XL. Supersoft, super-cute, and prices that start at $8! Get 25% off when you spend $40 or more at yourparade.com/wfh with code WFH. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The pandemic shrunk our social circles, first literally and then metaphorically. Our time for ourselves evaporated, and with that any chance of catching up with our best friend– even if she lived two blocks away. We lost the once-a -month lunch friends, the "micro-interactions" with strangers, and even the overheard conversations that spark our curiosity and feed us more than we ever realized. But picking something back up, after you've put it down for a long time, can make it seem surprisingly heavy. As the restrictions end, and we can see all of the people all of the time, we've been surprised by our own conflicting emotions about it all. Dr. Marlee Bower, a loneliness researcher at the University of Sydney, explains that "an extended period of loneliness can make social interaction feel more challenging in the longer term." In this episode we talk about how we're alternating periods of social-butterfly celebration with days we still want to hide under the covers. It's a process, and we're all feeling it. Here's how to get a little more intentional about reestablishing those friendships we have missed the most. Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Arthur Brooks for The Atlantic: A Once In A Lifetime Chance To Start Over Celina Ribiero for BBC Worklife: How lockdowns are changing our friendship groups Catherine Pearson for HuffPost: Moms Have Held Everything Together This Past Year, Except Their Friendships Kelcey Borreson for HuffPost: Some Friendships Are Taking A ‘Pandemic Pause’ And That’s All Right Anna Goldfarb for New York Times: “How to Deal With a Friendship ‘Quiet Season,’ Kat Vellos on Twitter Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Looking for another great parenting podcast? StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast is created by Munchkin, the most beloved baby brand in the world. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Usual Wines come in single-serve six-ounce bottles– about a glass and a half of wine. They’ve got a red blend, a rosé, a sparkling white, plus Usual Spritz, a low-calorie wine cooler. Each has just 83 calories- and they're fermented until there's no more sugar. Get $8 off your first order at usualwines.com with the code FRESHHELL. Hooked on Phonics is the learn-to-read program that has helped over 6 million kids learn to read. And now it offers a multi-sensory approach, which uniquely combines an amazing app with hands-on learning materials shipped to your home every month. Get your first month for just $1 by going to hookedonphonics.com/laughing. Olive gets you consolidated, cardboard-free deliveries from over 100 of your favorite fashion sites. No cardboard-box waste! Returns are a snap. Best of all, you can sign up for free, at shopolive.com. Literati delivers their monthly book picks straight to your door, so you can spend less time finding a good book and more time actually reading one. And their app lets you chat about the books with the whole Literati community. Redeem your FREE trial at literati.com/whatfreshhell. Quince is a game-changer for your wardrobe and your home, with high-quality essentials at prices 50-80% less than other brands. Free shipping and 365-day returns at onequince.com/fresh. Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low carb, and GMO-free. Go to magicspoon.com/fresh to grab the new limited edition Birthday Cake flavor today! And use code FRESH at checkout to save $5 off. Parade makes creative underwear and bralettes in a variety of sizes from extra small to 3 XL. Supersoft, super-cute, and prices that start at $8! Get 25% off when you spend $40 or more at yourparade.com/wfh with code WFH. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices