We Hate Movies

On this week's episode, the gang joins the Sideshow Network just in time to discuss the totally lame and completely joke-less sequel, Teen Wolf Too! Who was demanding sports stay in the story? Is Michael J. Fox's character supposed to be dead in this movie? And who on Earth would think it's a good idea to befriend Stiles? PLUS: The show's recorded in New York, which means it's time, once again, to yell at people out the window! Teen Wolf Too stars Jason Bateman, Kim Darby, John Astin, Paul Sand, James Hampton, Mark Holton, Estee Chandler and Stuart Fratkin as "Stiles"; directed by Christopher Leitch.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this episode, the gang takes apart the dull-as-dirt Michael Keaton ghost movie, White Noise! How famous does an author have to be before getting their disappearance covered on national news? Why doesn't Michael Keaton's character immediately call the cops on this EVP "expert"? And were they serious with that construction worker? PLUS: A major show development is revealed! White Noise stars Michael Keaton, Ian McNeice, Deborah Kara Unger and Chandra West; directed by Geoffrey Sax.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this month's WHM Mail Bag, the gang reads letters from fans who flipped the "What Are YOU Watching?" trope on its head, got sent to the library basement with a Russian war films on VHS and who once had a history teacher conduct a very inappropriate "contest" in class.If you want your hilarious, weird or socially awkward story read on the air, write in to the WHM Mail Bag: [email protected]!Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang breaks the infamous Ten Year Rule to dissect the delayed, but insane, Seventh Son! Julianne Moore as a witch, or whatever? Jeff Bridges as a witch slayer, or whatever? And what's with Jon Snow at the beginning? PLUS: He was The Dude, goddammit! Seventh Son stars Jeff Bridges, Julianne Moore, Ben Barnes, Olivia Williams and Kit Harington -- briefly; directed by Sergey Bodrov.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this episode of Animation Damnation, the guys tackle an episode of Captain N: The Game Master entitled, "Happy Birthday, Megaman". Why does Megaman look and sound like a talking garbage can? Why is Simon Belmont acting like a snooty Johnny Bravo? And who is that Princess? PLUS: Welcome to The Pleasure Zone!Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang gets all Father Merrin as they attempt to exorcise the silly Exorcist wannabe, Stigmata! Well before her Boyhood nomination, Patricia Arquette starred in a film with music by Billy Corgan and wardrobe by Jellies! What's with all the freaking out here? Why is Gabriel Byrne's character such a jerk? And how close is too close before you're ripping off a cinematic classic? PLUS: Eric reveals the best kept secret of the popular computer game, Diablo! Stigmata stars Patricia Arquette, Gabriel Byrne, Jonathan Pryce, Nia Long, Enrico Colantoni and the great Rade Serbedzija; directed by Rupert Wainwright.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang kick off Oscar Month with the ridiculous serial killer snooze, Taking Lives! Sure, he's nominated for Best Supporting Actor this year, but back in 2004, Boyhood was still a decade off and Ethan Hawke had to keep the lights on somehow! How did they think they could cover up that Hawke is the killer? How are there no Canadian accents in this French-Canadian thriller? And why did Gena Rowlands bother keeping that little murderer's bedroom in such great shape? PLUS: That old guy that will evaluate your artistic ability via the mail really, really likes Kiefer Sutherland. Taking Lives stars Angelina Jolie, Ethan Hawke, Gena Rowlands, Kiefer Sutherland, Olivier Martinez, Paul Dano and Tchéky Karyo; directed by D.J. Caruso.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

This month on the WHM Mail Bag, the gang read letters involving awkward dad screenings, a love that was never meant to be, and some of the absolute worst teachers in the country that were somehow all situated in one, single high school. PLUS: World renowned script doctor, Eric Movie, drops by to get in on the mail bag fun! If you want your weird, movie-related stories read on the air, write in to the WHM Mail Bag - [email protected]!Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode the gang goes undercover with Arnold and the rest of his crummy DEA friends in the super embarrassing, pee-smelling crime drama, Sabotage! What is with all these ridiculous nicknames? We're looking at you, Monster! How hilarious is it when Arnold tells off that fat guy? And what on the planet Earth is with Olivia Williams' accent? PLUS: Indy got in the fridge for feminism! Sabotage stars Olivia Williams, Harold Perrineau and The Team: Arnold Schwarzenegger as "Breacher", Sam Worthington as "Monster", Joe Manganiello as "Grinder", Josh Holloway as "Neck", Terrence Howard as "Sugar", Max Martini as "Pyro", Kevin Vance as "Tripod", Mark Schlegel as "Smoke" Jennings and Mireille Enos as... Lizzy; directed by David Ayer.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this episode, the gang starts finding a pattern in the worst films of 2014 as they tackle another demon/monster movie with Dracula Untold! Why try to make the audience sympathize with a notorious mass murderer? Why did we need Vampire Cam? And why did Dracula need to have a Spider-man-esque "finding my powers" sequence? PLUS: Let the games being! (At least according to Charles Dance...) Dracula Untold stars Luke Evans, Sarah Gadon, Dominic Cooper and Charles Dance; directed by Gary Shore.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang tackles what Andrew swears is "one of the worst films" he's ever seen. It's the magical, flying horse, angry demon epic, Winter's Tale! How is someone sneaking into the attic of Grand Central Terminal in 2014? Why did the horse's wings have to look that terrible? And who on Earth taught Russell Crowe that Irish accent? PLUS: Peter Falk criticizes other people's decisions. DOUBLE PLUS: Eric proposes a new Olympic event! Winter's Tale stars Jessica Brown Findlay, Colin Farrell, Russell Crowe, William Hurt, Graham Greene, Jennifer Connelly and... Will Smith; directed by Akiva Goldsman.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

We're back! Kicking off 2015 with the Worst of 2014, the gang tackles one of the biggest, most useless stinkers in show history, I, Frankenstein! How many times can you use the world gargoyle before going insane? Is Adam Frankenstein sterile? And why on planet Earth would you try to wrap this into Underworld Marvel-style? PLUS: Everyone gets Monster Mash-ed! It's good to be back! I, Frankenstein stars Aaron Eckhart, Yvonne Strahovski, Miranda Otto, Bill Nighy, Jai Courtney, Bruce Spence and Kevin Grevioux; directed by Stuart Beattie.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this Animation Damnation, the gang takes a terrifying look at the Life with Louie Christmas special, "A Christmas Surprise for Mrs. Stillman"! Caution: Impressions of both Louie Anderson and Roseanne Barr abound! Okay, now this is really all the material we have for 2014. Have a fantastic holiday season and we'll see you all in 2015. Thanks so much for listening this year!Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On the final episode of 2014, the gang talks about the ridiculous, Christmas-set sequel, Look Who's Talking Now! Why exactly is this woman chasing after John Travolta? Why are these dogs and babies born knowing everything? And just how close does Kirstie Alley's character get to a complete nervous breakdown? PLUS: Our Sucker Punchmentary is available now!Look Who's Talking Now stars John Travolta, Kirstie Alley, Diane Keaton and Danny DeVito; directed by Tom Ropelewski.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this month's WHM Mail Bag, the guys chat about hamster disposal, boring Hobbit movies, terrible movies parents bring kids to and more! How did your parents get rid of dead pets? Are you catching that third Hobbit film? And where should parents draw the line with bringing kids to films? If you want your questions, stories or strange movie-going experiences read on the air, write into the Mail Bag: [email protected]! No one wants to see this third Hobbit movie, right?Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this very special WHM On-Screen, the guys chat about the controversy over the new Rogen/Franco film, The Interview! Plus: We get exclusive details about the film from one of the few people in the world to have seen it: our very own Chris Cabin! We set out to discuss the film and the Sony Pictures controversy behind it, but somehow managed to also come up with an even better idea for a film, a futuristic horror thriller tentatively titled Hitlergeist.The Interview stars Seth Rogen, James Franco, Lizzy Caplan and Randall Park; directed by Evan Goldberg & Seth Rogen. Hitlergeist will (hopefully) star Craig T. Nelson.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

In the second-to-last episode of 2014, the gang tackles the oft-requested, yet never recorded, Super Mario Bros.! Why do we need all this life-of-a-plumber back story before we get to Koopaland? Did the cast really get drunk on the set to cope with making such an obviously terrible movie? And we finally discuss the cockiest, most awkward sequel set-up in film history. PLUS: Our depressing, "Dark Knight Returns" inspired ending to an aging Mario Mario. Super Mario Bros. stars Bob Hoskins, John Leguizamo, Dennis Hopper, Samantha Mathis, Fisher Stevens, Richard Edson, Fiona Shaw and, yes, Lance Henriksen; directed by Annabel Jankel & Rocky Morton.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

In this episode, the gang celebrates their fourth anniversary on the air by breaking the Ten Year Rule to discuss the ridiculous fake-sequel, Jingle All the Way 2! What kind of Christmas film would Steve star in? How does Larry build that Christmas tree from car parts? And why does Werner Herzog love calling in to The Morning Zoo? PLUS: So many Stone Cold Stunners. Jingle All the Way 2 stars Larry the Cable Guy, Kennedi Clements, Brian Stepanek, Kirsten Robek and Anthony "Santino Marella" Carelli; directed by Alex Zamm. And a huge thanks for four great years of listening to us talk about bad movies! Here's to four more! Hey kewl!Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang cracks a horrendous 1980's sex cult with the ridiculous comedy, Three Men and a Baby! Just how large is this New York City apartment? Why do these guys try to play hardball with serious drug dealers? And was that really Wilson from Home Improvement? PLUS: We look inside a seedy, 1980's Manhattan sex cult through the eyes of one tortured doorman! Three Men and a Baby stars Tom Selleck, Ted Danson, Steve Guttenberg, Nancy Travis, Margaret Colin, Philip Bosco and Earl Hindman; directed by Star Trek's Leonard Nimoy.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

A perfect treat to download before your drive home from what was surely a wholesome family gathering! On this WHM Mailbag, we chat about awkward Ninja Scroll screenings, terrible, yet amazing Jason Goes to Hell audiences, and we also mention some of our favorite films, both new and old! If you have a ridiculous WHM-relate story or have a question for the gang, be sure to email us at [email protected]!Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the latest #WHMLRM comes to an end as the guys discuss the totally insane Frank Darabont thriller, Buried Alive! What is with that guitar twang? Did that sheriff just ask Tim Matheson out on a date? And what is William Atherton doing to those fish? PLUS: Coming this summer - Fat Inception. Buried Alive stars Tim Matheson, Jennifer Jason Leigh, William Atherton and Hoyt Axton; directed by Frank Darabont.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Hey, remember our side show, A Side Order of Sleaze? No? Well, you're in luck! We're back with an all-new sleazy side order just in time for Thanksgiving! Hooray? On this episode (recorded a while back, but never released), Andrew and Eric discuss the ridiculous 1979 college comedy, H.O.T.S.! What is with that robot? Why does the Mafia have to get involved? And did we really need that football game at the end? H.O.T.S. stars Susan Kiger, Lisa London, Pamela Jean Bryant, Kimberly Cameron, Donald Petrie and Danny Bonaduce as "Manny Tronaduce"; directed by Gerald Seth Sindell.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang gets skeeved out by the ultra-white, 90s, domestic thriller, The Hand That Rocks the Cradle! How in the world did the news station show our protagonist's picture on TV? Why do they keep singing lines from The H.M.S. Pinafore? And why won't this husband get mad?! PLUS: How you don't act at a surprise party. The Hand That Rocks the Cradle stars Annabella Sciorra, Rebecca De Mornay, Matt McCoy, Ernie Hudson, Julianne Moore and John de Lancie; directed by Curtis Hanson.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this episode of Animation Damnation, the gang tackles the heavily requested, Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue! How much weed does this kid think he needs? Why did the President and First Lady introduce this thing? And how many kids were actually turned on to drugs by this? PLUS: Why only one Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle? Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue stars a ton of voice actors who do everything else and it was directed by Milton Gray, Marsh Lamore, Bob Shellhorn, Mike Svayko and Karen Peterson. Yes, five people directed this thiry-minute cartoon. Be sure to check out other episodes of Animation Damnation and our other bonus shows by picking up our app or visiting our Bandcamp page!Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the #WHMLRM continues as the guys tackle the 1995 cyber-punk thriller, Johnny Mnemonic! What's with this narration-less scroll? How is Udo Kier not a vampire in every film? And what's with Ice-T dropping cars on everybody? PLUS: The guys debate Catfish and also show their love for the great Keanu Reeves. Johnny Mnemonic stars Keanu Reeves, Ice-T, Dolph Lundgren, Henry Rollins, Dina Meyer, "Beat" Takeshi, Barbara Sukowa and Udo Kier; directed by Robert Longo.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang kicks off the latest Listener Request Month with the ridiculous, 60's propaganda film, Wild in the Streets! Did Ed Begley Sr. ever play a likable character? Where was all the Capitol security in this film? And how did a band who never tours get so popular? PLUS: Take it easy baby, baby man, baby; we're all the fifty-two percent! Wild in the Streets stars Christopher Jones, Shelley Winters, Hal Holbrook, Richard Pryor, Ed Begley Sr. and Larry Bishop; directed by Barry Shear. And be sure to check out our new merch store over at whmpodcast.spreadshirt.com!Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

The #WHMSpooktacular2014 sadly comes to an end with the "Platoon of Horror Movies", Child's Play 3! Why bother continuing the Andy storyline? Why did Brad Dourif decide on that Nicholson impression? And what is the deal with that barber?!? PLUS: A certain Secundus-chasing actor walks off the set. Child's Play 3 stars Brad Dourif, Justin Whalin, Perrey Reeves, Jeremy Sylvers, Travis Fine and Dakin Matthews; directed by Jack Bender. Don't miss out on catching our live commentary at the Jacob Burns Film Center's After Dark Halloween Marathon, Friday, 10/31 at 10pm! Passes are still available, so shake a leg!Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Our #WHMSpooktacular2014 rolls on with the totally pointless teen horror snore-quel, I Still Know What You Did Last Summer! Why does Freddie insist on going to that terrifying clam bake? Who thought up this Jack Black character? And who was asking for all this obnoxious Mekhi Phifer sex talk? PLUS: Can we finally see someone painting a threat in blood? I Still Know What You Did Last Summer stars Jennifer Love Hewitt, Freddie Prinze, Jr., Brandy, Mekhi Phifer and Muse Watson; directed by Danny Cannon. And be sure to grab your marathon passes to the Jacob Burns Film Center's After Dark Halloween Marathon where we'll be performing live! A trip to Muldoon's may follow!Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

In this month's WHM Mail Bag, the gang chats about awkward encounters with angry dads, day jobs for retired Transformers, and their own personal werewolf preferences.If you'd like to hear your weird stories and questions for the gang read on the air, write in to the WHM Mail Bag: [email protected]!Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

The #WHMSpooktacular2014 rolls on with a trip back to Crystal Lake in the insanely stupid sequel, Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday! Why did they think this body swapping thing was a good idea? Where did Creighton Duke learn all this stuff about the supposed Voorhees mythology? And why, oh why, do we need more drama from Crystal Lake townies? PLUS: The leather bondage shaving scene you didn't know you'd get in a Friday the 13th film! Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday stars John D. LeMay, Kane Hodder, Steven Williams, Steven Culp, Kari Keegan, Richard Grant and Erin Gray; directed by Adam Marcus.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

The gang welcomes back comedian and friend Justin J. Case to help kick off the sequel-centric #WHMSpooktacular2014 with the genre-flopping, C.H.U.D. II: Bud the C.H.U.D.! What would happen if E.T. went to high school? How did Brian Robbins keep that mullet in check? And do we compensate the widows of C.H.U.D. soldiers? PLUS: We don't give you the fake C.H.U.D. box set you deserve, but we give you the fake C.H.U.D. box set you need.C.H.U.D. II: Bud the C.H.U.D. stars Brian Robbins, Bill Calvert, Tricia Leigh Fisher, Gerrit Graham and Robert Vaughn; directed by David Irving. And be sure to catch us on Halloween, 10/31, at the Jacob Burns Film Center's After Dark Halloween Marathon doing a live commentary to a cult classic we're very familiar with! Get tickets here and bring your friends!Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

In this week's episode, the gang calls an audible in order to tackle the wretched video game adaptation, Double Dragon! Why in the world would you put Scott Wolf in this role? What is with that fat monster? And is Robert Patrick's villain a racist? PLUS: The mystery of which Bruce Steve was thinking of! Double Dragon stars Scott Wolf, Mark Dacascos, Robert Patrick, Alyssa Milano and Julia Nickson; directed by James Yukich.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang finally works up the courage to tackle the incredibly stupid Stephen King adaptation, Secret Window! Why did they think casting John Turturro as a menacing Mississippian was a good idea? What's with all the Dorita-chips and Mountain Dew? And did we really need to see that dead dog puppet? PLUS: This fall on TNT, from the minds of Lunch Room comes, Hutton & Dutton! Secret Window stars Johnny Depp, John Turturro, Maria Bello, Timothy Hutton and Charles S. Dutton; directed by David Koepp.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this episode, the gang celebrates the 20th anniversary of the legendary Timecop! Why did they need those rocket cars to time travel? Why is Ron Silver carrying out this ridiculous time robbery scheme? And how are they not recognizing their one-decade-older selves? PLUS: A twenty year mystery is solved. Timecop stars Jean-Claude Van Damme, Ron Silver, Mia Sara, Bruce McGill and Gloria Reuben; directed by Peter Hyams.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On the season premiere of We Hate Movies, the gang heads back to school with Tom Berenger and Marc Anthony in The Substitute! Why does this movie spend so much time on the botched Cuba mission? Why did Berenger's resume need to be that padded? And what on Earth is up with that bathing suit? PLUS: I'mgonnakillherI'mgonnakillherI'mgonnakillher! The Substitute stars Tom Berenger, Ernie Hudson, Raymond Cruz, William Forsythe, Luis Guzmán and Diane Venora; directed by Robert Mandel.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Original Air Date: A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.On the final WHM Summer Rerun of 2014, the guys look back at one of the all-time fan favorite episodes on Ewoks: The Battle for Endor! This show marks the first appearance of Wilford Brimley on WHM and is the second of three times the guys have ventured into the Star Wars universe. Brimley hates that rabbit. The rabbit hates Brimley. The guys don't entirely hate the movie. Ewoks: The Battle for Endor stars Wilford Brimley, Warwick Davis, Aubree Miller, Siân Phillips, Carel Struycken and Paul Gleason; directed by Jim & Ken Wheat.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this WHM Summer Rerun, the gang looks back at the time they got in the ring with Rocky IV! Everyone agrees that Paulie is Cinema's Greatest Loser. Rocky is out of control arrogant in this movie. And the stones on Stallone to have his titular pugilist essentially end the Cold War by giving a sappy end-of-match speech! Rocky IV stars Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lundgren, Talia Shire, Carl Weathers, Burt Young, Tony Burton, Brigitte Nielsen; directed by Sylvester Stallone.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Original Air Date: 2/12/13 On this WHM Summer Rerun, the gang reminisces about one of their absolute favorite films from the WHM catalog, Tuff Turf! Steve wonders how James Spader's possible Back to the Future audition went. Andrew impersonates Jim Carroll delivering dialog on heroin. And Chris butchers up the "80s Teen Dramedy" cow. PLUS: Two words - Jack. Mack. Tuff Turf stars James Spader, Kim Richards, Paul Mones, Robert Downey Jr., Matt Clark, Jim Carroll and Jack Mack & the Heart Attack; directed by Fritz Kiersch.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Original Air Date: 9/4/12 On the first WHM Summer Rerun, the gang looks back at the batshit classic, Invisible Child! Andrew explains how he'd handle someone thinking they had an invisible child, Steve rags on the secret society of English nannies and Eric guesses why Victor Garber would make a whole pizza in the middle of the night. His theory? To curb horny behavior! Fan Favorite Line: "I mean, you're in a hot tub, baby, you're either getting physical therapy or you're fucking!"Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On the WHM Summer Finale, the #SBE2014 comes to an end when the gang chats about the incredibly annoying and sadly family friendly Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze! Why didn't they put Bebop and Rocksteady in this movie? Is Splinter chasing the dragon through this whole thing? And what is with no one at the Vanilla Ice warehouse concert being terrified by a group of fighting monsters? PLUS: They're BABIES! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze stars Paige Turco, David Warner, Ernie Reyes Jr., François Chau and Kevin Nash; directed by Michael Pressman.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang rides the rails with Steven Seagal and Eric Bogosian in the train hijacking sequel, Under Siege 2: Dark Territory! Why do we need Seagal microwaving a cake? Did Bogosian have to do that Rod Serling impression? And is Seagal really getting foiled by a Newton and a clogged fax line? PLUS: We all better go talk to the Captain. Under Siege 2: Dark Territory stars Steven Seagal, Eric Bogosian, Everett McGill, Morris Chestnut, Peter Greene and Katherine Heigl; directed by Geoff Murphy.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

In the July Mailbag, Andrew, Eric and Chris talk about naked old fellas, Charles Manson, bad celebrity impressions and more!Have something for the Mailbag? Get at us to be featured in the August episode! Write the WHM Mailbag today: [email protected]!Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

In this week's episode, the gang bundles up with the ultra boring disaster dud, The Day After Tomorrow! How 'bout those CGI wolves, huh? Why did they think hiding in a library would be exciting? And just how useless is Sela Ward in this movie? PLUS: This Fall, Louie Anderson returns to a lot of NBC. The Day After Tomorrow stars Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhaal, Emmy Rossum, Sela Ward, Dash Mihok, Jay O. Sanders and Ian Holm; directed by Roland Emmerich.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

In this week's episode, the gang enters the back half of their Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza with Tim Burton's depressingly terrible Planet of the Apes! Why not hire anybody besides Mark Wahlberg? Why are we still sending chimps into space in 2029? And what kind of a trampoline budget were they working with here? PLUS: Twilight Zone's greatest "secret robot" scenarios. Planet of the Apes stars Mark Wahlberg, Tim Roth, Helena Bonham Carter, Michael Clarke Duncan, Paul Giamatti, Estella Warren, Kris Kristofferson and Charlton Heston; directed by Tim Burton.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang tackles a sweaty ass Burt Reynolds' movie with the pretty silly, Stroker Ace! Is Stroker an immortal god who has lived through Prohibition and the sweaty 1980s? Is Ned Beatty's character really just Otis from Superman on the run from Mr. Luthor? And how many prehistoric jokes can we fit into one movie? PLUS: Eric mildly enjoys Tom Jones, Andrew does not. Different opinions on We Hate Movies! Stroker Ace stars Burt Reynolds, Jim Nabors, Ned Beatty, Loni Anderson and Parker Stevenson; directed by Hal Needham.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this edition of Animation Damnation, the guys are ragging on an episode of the Star Trek cartoon entitled, "The Magicks of Megas-Tu"! While possibly being a huge commercial for their all-new, hilarious, Trekmentary: Nemesis track, the guys also spend some time pondering George Lucas on 'ludes, Kirk being okay with Satan and whether or not Bones was a Confederate racist.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

In this week's episode, the 4th annual Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza continues as the gang tackles the Gotham-less, action-less, interest-less Catwoman! Why is this movie not set in Gotham? Is Benjamin Bratt's character really named Tom Lone? And why on Earth does this version of Catwoman need magical cat powers? PLUS: The guys take a trip to Michael Massee's Garbage Island. Catwoman stars Halle Berry, Benjamin Bratt, Sharon Stone, Lambert Wilson, Frances Conroy, Alex Borstein and Michael Massee; directed by Pitof.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

In this week's episode, the Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza 2014 rolls on with the sexy cyber thriller, Swordfish! What is with that wretched Dog Day Afternoon monologue? Take a gander at Hugh Jackman's excellent frosted tips! And who would ever want to put up and hang out with John Travolta's character? PLUS: Halle Berry as Michael Jackson in 2016! Swordfish stars Hugh Jackman, John Travolta, Halle Berry, Don Cheadle, Sam Shepard, and Vinnie Jones; directed by Dominic Sena.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

In this week's episode, the gang travels to Outworld to take on Goro and the rest of the freaks in the ass kicking video game adaptation, Mortal Kombat! Why did they cower away from any blood whatsoever? Why does Reptile have to look like the SoBe mascot? And why did they cast a white guy to play Lord Rayden? PLUS: A Mortal Kombat themed vacation resort might be the new Happiest Place on Earth! Mortal Kombat stars Christopher Lambert, Robin Shou, Linden Ashby, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, Bridgette Wilson-Sampras, Talisa Soto, Trevor Goddard, Chris Casamassa, François Petit and Keith Cooke; directed by Paul W.S. Anderson.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this WHM Mail Bag, the gang opens up some letters talking about strange Chuck E. Cheese encounters, divorced dads at the movies, favorite Jim Belushi films and academic Abraxas crossword puzzles! PLUS: A letter from an actual American hero. If you have a silly, fun, sad, outlandish, weird story that you think is WHM-related, write in! Send all eerie tales to [email protected]!Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies