Top Flight Time Machine

Some ants, we pitch a Radio 4 comedy, ResultsBot gets up to no good on his own, teenage shoplifting and the heat is on for one unlucky kid… Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A delve into the mailbag reveals unsavoury iPod control, a shark-based TV pitch, a stray man who doesn’t stray too far, possibly the best day off school EVER, and loads more… Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We launch the Iron Filings Society, Sam gets up on a table, we hear an adoption lie story and there’s a horrifying cat story (which might upset some of you)…  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Can newborn babies see? Can a cat talk? Can dogs work in benefits offices? Is predicting like heavyweight boxing? Can you coax a tapeworm out with fruit? And some football stuff... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A round-up of your contributions - limb removal, a trouser-removing cricket injury, beating up Paul Weller's bodyguards and loads more... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Some off-the-peg banter, plans to mess someone right up using only an iPad and a drone, plus ResultsBot flies off the handle and a man apologises to a tree. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A round-up of some of the best contributions from our magnificent listeners. Bullshits, sexual fails, hero fantasies, waking up in strange places and stray men. Oh, and a psychic who used to be an Egyptian queen... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A tragic real-life tree man, Gabriel Higuain let loose in Argos, and the amazing story of the British family running amok in New Zealand... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

More this and that, including Mr Tickle’s penis, the Top Cat lifestyle, and a bit of football stuff… Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Some customer feedback, the joys of a random number generator and we tell you the correct opinions to have about Bielsa's spying campaign. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Huge TFTM monetisation plans, a Japanese restaurant update, and our sincere attempt to be better men in the modern world. And some football stuff. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Some football stuff, a homage to ‘Allo ‘Allo, a massive snooker table, a security guard with sexy-but-cat-killing fingers and an axe-wielding scooter supplier. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Some live FA Cup giant-killing reaction, stupid dreams, fresh bull and some drug-addled ride-pimpers go to work on a Mini Cooper... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We pitch our travelogue TV show which might include a trip to Tranmere. Plus more bull and a gerbil-infused romantic fail... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Some eye science, dirty tricks at a Scouse card game, the stray man, Sam's hero fantasies, Andy's Blackpool death and the disgrace that is Roy Orbison... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The mechanism moves forward, Sam's brother turns legal eagle, some 'you do it' advice, and a Keown power play... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A job for Joe Hart in the TFTM media empire, some more looking back and ahead, the possibility of a Liverpool title win and some sexy robot thoughts... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

An inappropriate Nan Santa scene, a Likely Lads look back, predictions, and some woodland extra-terrestrial team bonding. Oh, and what REALLY happened to Sam from Me & My Girl… Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A look ahead to a Scouse Christmas, Souness' thoughts on the Old Trafford job vacancy, horseplay with Andrey Arshavin, some top notch bull and a visit from a time traveller. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A look back at Roy and Graeme's dual pundit appearance covering Liverpool v Man United at the weekend. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ralph Rabbithutch, Tony Adams’ rugby takeover, your finest tales of liars, a look ahead to Keane v Souness, and some football stuff… Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Robot and human racism, liars, a grandstanding handstanding ex-Marine, the weekend's football and at last, Sam's big cow story... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

An important correction, some prediction leaderboard movement, Alf Ramsey’s World Cup Willie and a bedtime story… Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Some eye-opening revelations about Sir David Attenborough, a limo trip to Wigan, leg-breaking on The One Show, and some football stuff… Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Advent calendar woes, festive tea tasting, kidnap, a Bobby Charlton visit, a washbag in a top hat, and the weekend's football analysed... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A heartwarming Delaney family Christmas tale, Pancho From The Flats, Arthur Fowler and some football predictions... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

West Ham’s rollercoaster season, Ian Holloway talks tight buns, Les Reed has a go and Sam eats a curry in his pants… Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A look back, a flare mule, plans for our new airport-based accent school, a power-play against Roy Keane and some other stuff. (Apologies for Sam's microphone going a bit weird halfway through) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lots of stuff about Edmonds and Collins. Plus a bit of football stuff and some stuff where Sam gets (rightly) abused by the public. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We plan to send ResultsBot to his Saudi doom, Dean Saunders shares a Patrick Kluivert story, plus Babybel, a courtroom self-defender and Reg Varney v Paul Scholes... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wayne Rooney – this is your life! Plus Sam’s toothbrush woes, ResultsBot’s love life, we come up with a surefire hit movie, and there’s a Rod Stewart sighting… Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A look back at the weekend’s action, Ridley Scott’s ball jet, a legally-dubious Charlie Austin story and Roy Keane on David Silva’s suit stunt… Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Unsavoury bush-based activities, a disgraced American author, an anonymous complaint about Spurs, some bonus Keane stuff and the match predictions… Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Andy gets knocked back by TWO celeb ladies in 24 hours, we dismiss Wayne Rooney's charity match while planning our own awards ceremony, and there's a scary ghost story... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A rethink on the Bournemouth boss, Andy van der Meyde’s sex-and-zebra lifestyle, Pokemon rage and our new job editing Waitrose magazine…  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A goose appears in a pram, Sam's brother becomes consumed by his growing fame, we become enraged by computer TV hosts, and there's yet more goose stuff... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sam’s brother tries a power play on Sheffield Wednesday’s owner, Ferry begs Eno to hook him up with ITV and we look ahead to the weekend’s football action… Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wenger’s lonely exile, dog seeds, Puel’s motivational floor ham, Keegan’s tea towel justice system, and our bid to be the next next Top Gear hosts… Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Shahid Khan's bid to buy Wembley collapses, Gwyneth Paltrow turns up in the studio next door, Eddie Howe gets enraged, plus lots more (and some predictions too). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Quiet international week - we discuss Robin of Sherwood, the first UK cash machine, James Bond visiting a Wetherspoons and Sam finally tells his nunnery story... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

England’s new fictional squad of youngsters dissected, some insight at the Tactics Board, and will a bewigged and bobble-hatted Andy play for the Faroe Islands tonight? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is Leicester City an Illuminati power play? And just who is wearing Claude Puel’s face? Also, the time Sam met Jimmy Savile and a look back at the weekend’s hot football action… Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Some looking back AND ahead, a dash over to the tactics board, Roy Keane reports on cabbages from his spider hole, Sam shares a potato attack story, and Results Bot attempts to turn against its masters... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Keane is tormented by Professor Yaffle in a Portuguese villa, Souness goes on hunger strike after getting sacked, Roeder runs out of coaching tokens, and Wenger shrinks himself down before hiding in a chef’s hat… Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A look back at the weekend as well as a call for more fun in football, the evolution of Tree Man, a glimpse into the life of ResultsBot and the time Sam's underage drinking plan went horribly wrong... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The big win that Sam missed, an introduction to our new STATS ZONE, some speed awareness course chat, and being buried alive in a German forest… Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Rupert Lowe's quest for cleanliness on the South Coast and beyond, Graeme Souness' relish at his players' on-pitch scrapping, young Wayne Rooney and a Barbara Cartland lookalike, and Sam gets stuck up a high fence... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

All the weekend's football TALKING POINTS including baby names, post-vasectomy abilities, and whether multi-culturalism will kill off the UK ladder industry. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Our first weekend preview show, including the introduction of Results Bot and Anne Diamond. Also, is a man familiar to the show actually in charge of building Spurs' new stadium? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The season of the Arsenal Invincibles… plus Saddam Hussein’s capture in a spider hole, Denis Irwin’s simple lifestyle, the demise of Leeds and the first ever McDonald’s TV ad, from… 1963? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.