Tiny Bites of Wagaliciousness

Are you impatient that you’re not where you thought you’d be at this point in your life? Maybe you assumed you’d have a higher-paying or higher-prestige job, or maybe you thought you’d have a home with 2.5 children and a sweet dog playing inside a fenced yard. Too often, people beat themselves up because they aren’t where they think they should be in life. Is that you? Stop it! You can’t motivate yourself by cutting yourself down. Think of the best boss you’ve ever had – didn’t she make you believe in yourself more? Didn’t he remind you that you don’t even know your limits because you haven’t reached them yet? Doesn’t it feel good when someone believes in you like that? Try believing in yourself like that – be patient with yourself as you travel through life and through time. You have always been, and will always be, a work in progress, unfolding as you gain new insights and experiences. Celebrate who you are at each step in the unfolding! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Have you ever been part of a conversation where you learned that the person you thought was a kindred spirit didn’t see things the way you thought they did? I was in a three-way conversation, discussing an ongoing problem that was being difficult to nail down and solve. One person said they thought the solution was out of our hands, and the other person, the one who’d been working diligently on it with me far longer, not only agreed, they said they’d felt that way from the very beginning. Ouch. That was the polar opposite of what she’d previously said to me. Have you ever had that happen in your life? It hit me like a betrayal and made me question whether I was working with the right person. Time has passed, we still don’t have a solution, and there are several potential options for the next steps. What would you do, or what have you done in a similar situation? The passage of time can help, as can finding a way to think about the situation differently. When you can reframe the hurtful conversation in such a way that you can remove its sting, you’ll be able to keep the relationships sound and healthy. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Is there something that makes you feel small, or maybe even powerless? One of my not-optimal beliefs is that people who are creative can’t make money. I grew up hearing that creatives don’t have what it takes to be good businesspeople, and businesspeople don’t have what it takes to be creative. Sometimes I feel “less than” when I’m around successful businesspeople – they make it look so easy to succeed. Maybe you have beliefs that don’t serve you, too, and maybe you sometimes feel small around people who excel at what you dream of doing easily and well? This is where shifting your focus makes all the difference. Remember your skills. Remind yourself of your gifts. Celebrate the things you do better than anyone else can do. When you can focus on your skills, that “less than” and small feeling can’t live in your head or your heart. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Have you ever stopped and thought, “no matter what I do, someone’s going to be unhappy”? Most of us have…I sure have! I vividly remember the moment my people-pleasing self realized that people-pleasing is a dead end road. I was 16, in high school, and was being pulled in three different directions at once. My amazing guidance counselor wanted me to do one thing, my physics teacher wanted something else, and Mom and Dad were expecting something completely different. I stood in my bedroom, door closed, agonizing over how I could possibly please them all. Then it hit me – what did I want? It was like I had never considered that before…have you had that moment, too? No matter what you do, people will always find fault. Some might talk about you behind your back, some might challenge you to your face, and some might quietly cut you out of their lives. None of those people matter in your life. They’re clearly showing you that they don’t respect you, they just want what they want from you, and when you stop delivering, they stop caring. Move on. You do you. You’re literally the only person that will be with you through your lifetime. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Are you emotionally intelligent? If you’re an older female, you have a much better chance of being able to say “yes” to that. Studies suggest that emotional intelligence increases with age, and in women, the increase is even more pronounced. Research at UC Berkley conclusively showed that people in their late 50s through their 60s showed far more emotional intelligence than those in their 20s and 30s. As we live life, we develop a heightened awareness of emotions, both our own and those of others. This emotional intelligence enables us to navigate complex social situations, build strong relationships, and offer valuable insights to those going through tough times. With age, we become better at understanding the nuances of emotions, leading to wiser decision-making and a more profound sense of empathy. If you’re a young adult, you can learn emotional intelligence skills, and the good news is that you’ll gain them naturally as you age. If you’re in your 50s and 60s, like me, flaunt your wrinkles and grey hair – they’re signs of your wisdom and emotional intelligence! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeingn

According to the late Bob Marley, some people feel the rain, and others just get wet. What did he mean by that? In a nutshell, some people are living in the moment, appreciating the experience, while others are focused elsewhere and though they know what they’re experiencing, they’re not living the experience. In my life, and maybe yours too, those who are “just getting wet” are the ones who complain about the rain, or whatever else is happening in their life that they perceive as an inconvenience. They’re so focused on what they’re doing that they forget to appreciate the benefits of that thing they’re irritated over. Let’s take rain literally – many people complain about a gloomy, dreary, rainy day. They can find dozens of reasons that the rain shouldn’t be in their experience that day, and are happy to share those complaints aloud to anyone who’ll listen. Tedious, right? Those who feel the rain – in other words, acknowledge and find things to appreciate about it – are taking a bigger, more holistic view of a gloomy, dreary, rainy day: it provides water for outdoor plants and animals, it gives the earth a break from the sun beating down on it constantly, and it fills our streams and lakes with life. Do you just get wet, or do you feel the rain? Can you? PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Today let’s examine faith. Whether your faith is in a higher power, in the power of love, or in yourself and your ability to persevere, faith is a wonderful human characteristic. Early research into how and where the brain processes religion and faith seems to show a correlation between faith and depression, and the good news is that it appears that a strong sense of faith is somewhat protective against depression. If you know someone who is depressed, or if you’re moving in and out of the heavy sadness that characterizes depression, examine your faith. You can help a depressed family member, friend, or co-worker just by talking to them about what they believe in and reminding them to visit their faith daily. You can do the same thing for yourself. In every person’s life there are days when we just don’t feel as buoyant as we’d like. That’s the time to remind yourself what you believe in. If it’s a religious connection, focus on that connection. If it’s a general compassion for others, focus on volunteering and helping those in need. If your faith is in your ability to persevere, remind yourself that you’ve conquered 100% of the problems you’ve experienced so far in your life. You’ve got this…I have faith in you! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

I want to share a story about a time I failed three people at once. I was at a concert, walking past a low wall. People were sitting on the lawn at the top of the wall and as I passed by, a woman fell from the lawn to the concrete walkway. The man I was with kept walking. I turned to help the woman and he grabbed me by the hand and insisted I keep walking, too. I tried to go back. He made that impossible. I failed that woman, I failed my date, and I failed myself. Have you ever had something like that happen in your life? It feels bad because we are caring people. We want to help others, and while I know that it was a short drop so she likely didn’t hurt herself badly, and also that there were plenty of others around to help her, walking past someone I could help isn’t who I am. You, too? If you’re ever in a position like this, and if I am ever again, here’s a plan: stop. Just stop. Stop moving, and make the person who’s trying to walk on by stop, too. Look them in the eye and remind them that the heart is for more than just moving blood around, turn around and go help. My date could have learned something about the best quality of humanity instead of showing me the worst. Share your best qualities as often as you can – the world needs you. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

When you think about your looks, what do you think? Do you think your nose is too big or your hair is impossible or your waistline is too round? Do you hide your body under long sleeves and long pants even in the hottest weather because your skin is too pale or your knees are too knobby or your arms are too flabby? Do you judge your body and find it lacking or less than? Why? We don’t see ourselves the way others see us – we don’t see the light that dances in our eyes when we smile, we don’t see the love we radiate when we’re helping others, and we don’t see the angelic peace on our face as we sleep. Being self-critical is a bad habit, one that destroys your feelings of self-worth and self-confidence, and it serves no useful purpose. Like any habit, you can break it if you know how. Today, give yourself 10 minutes to make a list of the things you love about your body and your heart. Snap a picture of the list and favorite it in your phone. Pay attention to the criticism your brain habitually dishes up, and put up your mental stop sign when you catch your brain beating you up. Open up your list and read it. Remind yourself just how awesome you truly are. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you play a game that counts your “streak?” And do you feel awful when you lose your streak? I play Wordle and remember how I felt when I failed to solve the puzzle on day 99 of a streak. It’s bad enough to fail on the puzzle…it’s sooooo bad to fall short of the milestone of 100 days by one stinkin’ day. As I licked my wounds I started to wonder why I cared? Why was I feeling extra-bad about not solving the puzzle…after all, it’s only a puzzle! Maintaining a streak creates motivation and momentum…keeping the streak alive is more than just keeping to the habit of doing the daily puzzle, it’s the determination to move the needle in a positive direction every day. That determination feels good while maintaining the streak and can feel very bad when the streak dies. The euphoria of extending the streak turns into dejectedness over having to start at square one again. If you like the motivation and momentum that streaks engender, great. Just try to keep it in perspective when a great streak falls by the wayside. New beginnings can be very empowering when you let them! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

In your work life, do you receive feedback from others? Now and then, does a piece of feedback sting? Yeah, me too. I recently spoke at a large conference. The audience was given an easy way to share their thoughts, and 98% of them loved the experience. One audience member said she didn’t want to see me speak again. Ouch! I learned a long time ago to focus on the positive comments instead of obsessing over the ones that felt negative, and yet that initial moment still feels like a gut punch. Maybe you’ve felt that too? How do you handle it when you get feedback that feels like rejection? What works for me, and what positive psychology practitioners also teach, is to reframe your knee-jerk response. Most people’s initial response is to beat themselves up and wonder what’s wrong with them. Here’s the truth – nothing. Nothing is wrong with you, except that you’re beating yourself up over the opinion of one person. You may or may not know them, you may or may not ever even see them again, and yet there you are, putting their opinion ahead of yours. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, and you don’t have to care about them. Now, dust off the gut punch and focus on all the good feedback instead! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Has this ever happened to you? You were up for a promotion, you really wanted that promotion, and you didn’t get the promotion? How did you react? How did you feel? Disappointed, sure. Maybe a bit resentful – that would be a normal reaction. You might even have felt cheated, and maybe you thought about looking for a new job. It is so easy to assume that something that feels wrong is wrong. What if it isn’t? What if it’s exactly what you needed to get inspired to learn more and achieve more? Adversity can help you when you let it, because when you take an honest look, maybe you’ll see an avenue for self-improvement. Maybe you’ll take an objective look at the goal you missed out on and realize it was the wrong goal for you. Maybe you’ll take the opportunity presented by the adversity instead of beating yourself up over it. Oh, wait – you mean there’s opportunity in adversity? Every.Single.Time. You just have to be open to it to see it. Disappointment, resentment, and defensiveness shut you down. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you love listening to old people tell stories of their lives? I remember being 7 years old, listening to my great grandmother telling stories of her pioneer family childhood in Oklahoma. Granny White was a wonderful storyteller, and while some of her stories dealt with hardship and fear, most of her stories were about pranks, good times, and the happiness she and her siblings created out on the prairies. Today, think about the stories you’ll tell when you’re old. Maybe even write them down as they come to you. If your stories are mostly about hardship and fear, it’s time to start adding more fun to your life. What lights you up? What do you love to do? Who do you love to spend time with? Make a point to put some of those things on your calendar every week. Make time for fun, because that’s where your fun memories come from, and what will inspire the great stories you’ll tell when you’re old. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Have you ever known someone who seems a little bit squirrely to you, and maybe you can’t quite put your finger on why? Think about their words and actions – do they match? I used to work for a man who talked a really good game, yet when push came to shove in this company, the game he played was quite different than the game he talked. Chances are, when someone doesn’t “feel” quite right to you, their words and actions aren’t in sync. There are a lot of reasons why – it could be that they believed one thing and when they got more information, they changed their belief. It could also be because they have a need to please people, or a strong desire to not rock the boat. Dr. Nitya Prakash, an Indian man of many talents, wrote, “If you are willing to abandon your principles for convenience or social acceptability, they’re not your principles. They’re your costume.” When dealing with a squirrely person, remember that it could be a squirrel costume they’re wearing. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Have you ever thought of how much you affect the world without even trying to? Even if you stay in your PJs all day and don’t leave the house, you affect the world. When you click the “like” button on someone’s post, you boost their morale and feeling of self-worth. When you text a friend a link to something inspirational you found online, you make them smile to know you were thinking of them. When you share someone’s post or your own thoughts on social media, you spread that message farther than you’ll ever know. It’s very easy to assume that you’re small, and that your actions don’t amount to much in the grand scheme of things. What if, instead, you assume you’re vast? You affect the world in ways you’ll never know, you touch hearts you’ve never met, and you inspire people a continent away. Each morning, before you get out of bed, remind yourself of the lives you’ll change just by being alive. Face the day with the knowledge of how important you are in this world, because you are. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Today let’s play a little bit of inside baseball. Not familiar with that term? It’s like opening the curtain to reveal the inner workings of something. Today’s inside baseball game is revealing the inner workings of writing these Tiny Bites. People ask me all the time where the ideas come from, and the answer is life. Many times, it’s what I observe, sometimes it’s what a coaching client and I have discovered, and lots of times it’s from my own life. Many times, as I write these, I laugh at myself and admire how I’ve grown and changed, because many times the problem I’m solving for you is one I had to solve for myself. One of my favorite things about being in the third chapter of life is the perspective it gives me – I finally understand things in ways that feel like puzzle pieces clicking together. The purpose of this podcast is to help you put the pieces of your puzzle together long before your hair turns grey like mine. I’ll pitch – are you ready to hit the ball out of the park in your own life? PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” “Don’t compare your work in progress with someone else’s finished product.” “When you compare yourself with others, you fall into a trap with no way out.” Those three quotes about the hazards of comparing yourself with others are all commonly used and true. When was the last time you stopped to think about just how poisonous the comparison habit really is? If you’re in the habit of seeing something good in someone and automatically thinking, “wow, I wish I was…” whatever, you’re in the habit of denigrating yourself for no good reason. What good can come of thoughts like that? None. What bad comes from them? You’re tearing down your own sense of self-worth and self-confidence. This is a bad habit, and like any other habit you can stop doing it. Decide what your “interruption behavior” will be right now – a phrase like, “oh, there’s that old useless thought again!” is useful. When you catch yourself comparing yourself, tell yourself lightly to stop it, and turn to a more productive, self-affirming use of your time and brain-power. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

When you get all excited about something new and share it with those close to you, what’s the feedback you usually get? Hopefully you get mainly enthusiastic, supportive responses. Most of us have at least one person in our lives who shoots down our ideas.  Heck, I was married to one of those people for three decades! It took a while until I learned to stay quiet about something I really wanted to see happen. I wasn’t keeping secrets, I was ensuring the chance for my idea to succeed. When someone important to you poo-poo’s your dreams, it’s human nature to give up on those dreams, and also to question yourself and your capabilities. After all, we care about that person, which means their opinion matters to us. The easiest way to maintain the caring relationship without giving up on your dreams is to remain quiet about those dreams until they’ve started to unfold. Let the “I’ll believe it when I see it” people see it when you’ve created it. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you know, or maybe manage, someone who approaches most problems with the same attitude? Some people see a problem and immediately start looking to place blame. Some people see a problem and immediately start looking for a way to prove they had nothing to do with it. Some people see a problem and disappear so they don’t have to be part of the solution. Have you ever heard the saying, “to a hammer, everything looks like a nail”? These people are hammers. Instead of reaching into their mental toolbox for the correct tool for the job, their default behavior is to use the hammer they’ve always used. These people could use your help to grow. When it’s just the two of you and they respond from their “hammer” point of view, ignore the words that just came out of their mouth. Think of how you would approach the issue at hand and share that out loud. Show them that sometimes a screwdriver or a wrench is the right tool for the job. Lather, rinse, repeat and soon you’ll notice them bringing a few more tools to problems that arise. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

You are a work in progress. You will always be a work in progress. Does this dismay you? It does many people – people who’ve spent their lives thinking that they’ll finally be complete when… they graduate… they get married… they have a house and kids… they have the corner office and a great career… And the trouble is, that yardstick keeps moving. Once you’ve achieved the first goal, a new goal pops into view. Then, when that one is accomplished, the next “I can be happy when…” goal announces itself. You are a work in progress. Your life is a work in progress. Every day you make hundreds of small decisions that shape the trajectory of your path through this world. You’ll never come to a place where you are complete. Wait…yes you will, because that’s what happens when you stop breathing forever. You are complete then…no more decisions, no more chances to learn and grow. Until you reach that level of completeness, embrace the adventure that being a work in progress is – go out and live your life as an adventure, not just a way to kill time until time kills you. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Is there someone in your life that you admire, or who inspires you? You may not love everything about them, or admire every single thing, and yet you still look at who they are or what they’ve accomplished and think, “maybe I could do that too.” Have you ever told them that they inspire you? For instance, I have had Siberian Huskies for decades, and early on I met a woman who had them even longer. Her dogs had many titles, including obedience titles. Many people think that Siberians are untrainable – they have a mind of their own and do as they please. This woman’s accomplishments with her dogs astonished me – all I’d heard was that I shouldn’t even try to do obedience competition with my dogs because it was just a pathway to frustration and failure. Yet here was a woman successfully training and competing with hers. I admired that. I tried and failed and tried and failed and tried again and succeeded. Now I’ve put obedience titles on many of my dogs because of the example she set and the trail she blazed before me. Have you told the person you admire that they are your inspiration? Tell them. Tell them now. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Let’s pretend you’re a dandelion. You sprouted from seed as a tiny little plant, maybe in the middle of that park down the street. You probably went completely unnoticed until the day your first bud started to open. Then some people were charmed by you, some alarmed by you, and most people didn’t give you a second thought. Meanwhile, you were doing what you knew to do – growing, changing, and blooming. As your first yellow flower opened wide, more buds emerged and your leaves got bigger. So did your roots, though no one could see that part. Below ground as above, you kept pushing your boundaries, doing what you knew to do. When not enough rain fell, you curled your leaves to conserve moisture. When the landscapers spread their weed killer, you found a way to persevere. When children playing ball stepped on you, you let that flower go and concentrated on the next one. And some day you’ll bloom your last bloom, and that bloom will turn into a magical ball of lighter-than-air seeds and they’ll be perfectly timed, just like everything else that you’ve been. As you go through life, be like a dandelion and thrive. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you know someone who uses very dramatic language? For instance: They don’t have a headache, they are in agony because their head is about to explode. How about this: a person who got snippy with them is described as throwing a screaming fit right there in front of the entire office. They don’t have difficult conversations, they have confrontations. The weather isn’t hot, it’s sweltering and they’re going to suffer heat stroke if they don’t get into the air conditioning. They can take the most mundane event and make it sound like the end of the world just through the words they use. Dramatic language is used by people who are craving attention. They’re exhausting to be around, and worse yet, the drama is contagious. If you manage an overly dramatic person, they’re probably not going to change, and you can expect to find them in the middle of complicated situations often. Communicate calmly and clearly, and set boundaries aimed at limiting the damage the dramatic person can cause on your team. Manage them gently, knowing you may have to manage them out the door. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Are you feeling stuck? Many of us end up in a school or job or life we chose and realize that it’s not exactly what we wanted. When you’re feeling stuck, it’s tough to see the possibilities because you’re focused on limitations. Shift your focus. That can be tough, though not impossible. When you find yourself ruminating on or spiraling around whatever the problem is, try to channel your inner Scarlett O’Hara with words like, “I’ll think about that tomorrow.” Then find something positive or fun or at least distracting to focus on instead. A great distraction when nothing else works is to sing a song. Any song. There’s one by Paul Brandt called “There’s a World Out There.” One of the lines in the song is, “Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit, there’s footprints on the moon.” Next time you’re feeling stuck, remember that line – the sky isn’t even your limit, you are. Shift your focus and watch those perceived limits fade away. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Have you ever seen a beautifully manicured green lawn? It looked so perfect, didn’t it? As you stood back and gazed at it, your eyes probably saw the lovely crisp edges where lawn met driveway and sidewalk, the lovely even greenness of the grass, and the perfectly matched length of grass, blade after blade exactly the same height – nothing sticking up and no places where the ground showed through because it was cut too closely there. Yep, perfect, right? Wrong. You were looking at it from a distance. You were seeing the big picture, and perfect as it looked, if you had moved in closer, you would have seen places that weren’t quite perfect. Now, think about your life from a distance. Let the day-to-day details fall away and pretend like you don’t know the annoying parts. When you look at your life like you were looking at that lawn, you can probably see the bigger picture – a safe place to life, food, family and friends – that other people see when they look at you. When you’re having a rough day, can you step back and look at your life from a distance? Can you let the “this too shall pass” event not make you crazy because you know it’s just a minor annoyance? When you can shift your perspective, you can see the possibilities instead of the problems. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Don’t you just love pithy truths? You know, the kind of little sentences that get bandied about the internet, spreading little puffs of inspiration in their wake? Attribution is important – I don’t want to steal anyone’s truth, yet sometimes finding the origin is beyond even Google. No attribution on this one – it’s too good not to share, though. “Their opinions don’t pay your bills.” Because of social conditioning as well as evolutionary success, we are wired to care about the opinions of others. Humans are intended to live in communities, cooperating with each other for the safety and comfort of all. That’s how it’s meant to work, and long ago, some humans figured out that they could control the actions of others just by voicing their disapproval. If someone in your life thinks their opinion should rule your life, remember – their opinions don’t pay your bills. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Have you ever thought about how the world was on the day you were born? You weren’t on the planet, and then suddenly you were. If you were a first-born child, your parents weren’t parents and then suddenly they were. What songs were playing on the radio? What was the most popular car? What new technology was born that year, who was the President, and where was the trendy vacation spot? Seriously, pop open your favorite search engine, find out what the world was like on your original birthday, and then think about how things have changed since that day. Nothing is the same. Nothing. We tend to think of ourselves as a monolith, an unchanging human being going about our life while the world changes around us. The truth is, as much as the world has morphed and changed, so have you. Embrace your growth, your season in life, and embrace the fact that you will continue to change. Wouldn’t life be boring if we didn’t? PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

You don’t have to tell me – just be honest with yourself. Are you ever just the littlest bit envious or jealous of someone? You might like them, or even love them, and yet now and then you feel a flash of a green eyed monster inside yourself. Envy and jealousy are cousins, not twins – envy is softer and lacks the anger/revenge feelings that often are present with jealousy. With envy we long for what the other has that we don’t, while with jealousy we want to deprive the other person of what they have and claim it as our own. If you or someone you know spends time with jealous thoughts and feelings, try this: step back from the details of what the jealousy is about, and try to see the other person’s gifts as proof that you can have those things, too. Instead of spending energy focusing on what you don’t have and disliking someone who does, focus on something you’d like to achieve, and then focus on achieving it. Voila – a cure for those jealousy attacks! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you believe that you can be in charge of your thoughts? Think about it – how many times a day do you let thoughts run rough-shod through your head, vs. how many times you notice a thought that doesn’t feel good and stop thinking it? I think part of the beauty of being older is to realize that I own my brain – it doesn’t own me. That’s true of you, too. If you can think of your brain as your body’s operating system, not as the seat of who you are, it makes it easier to play a game with your brain. There are a lot of thoughts you think each day that don’t serve you very well, yet you think them without questioning them because you’ve thought them a lot. Do you get instantly irritated when the toilet paper is upside down? What’s the big deal – is it worth messing up your mood just because there’s toilet paper available and you’re picky about how it’s hanging? Catch the irritation and laugh at your brain for trying to sabotage your day. Be in charge of your brain – don’t let it run you. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you know the phrase, “Take the high road”? Going back to the 1600’s, the phrase has been used to indicate choosing a moral way to react or behave, and the earliest references were about the high road leading to heaven and the low road leading to...well, you know... Now, think about that person in your life who seems to never pick the high road – they live to stir the pudding, they pit one person against another and sit back and enjoy the fireworks, they take credit for the accomplishments of others – you know that person, right? In your mind they have no high road. Can you give them one? Can you try to see their actions in a high-road kind of light? Instead of focusing on their misdeeds, can you try to understand why they behave badly? So many people had less than optimal upbringings – maybe their behavior is a result of abusive parents, absent parents, or very ineffective parents. When you can take the high road when dealing with someone who seems bound and determined to take the low road, you may be pleasantly surprised when they start living up to your expectations. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you know anyone who is always waiting for things to be a certain way before…whatever? They can’t sign up for a dating app until they’ve lost 20 pounds, and they can’t ask for a raise until they’ve worked there for two years, and they can’t get a new car until they drive this one for at least four more years, even though they hate that car with a passion!! Maybe you might be just a little bit like that too? It’s OK – most of us are. Until I got engaged, I never wore a ring on my left hand. What’s up with that?? Divorced me has two on that hand now, and sometimes there are even more. Ideas we picked up in childhood can be very sticky. We don’t even know why we behave or believe a certain way, we just do and that drives our feelings and our actions. Today, think about what it is you’re waiting for. What do you believe you must do or must not do that holds you back? Pick one thing to focus on, and make a plan to change it, starting today.   PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Think about the people you work with, and write a list of names of those you interact with on a daily basis. Next to each name, write the words you think of when you think of them – words like brainy, quiet, worrier, bossy – whatever is the predominant personality trait you associate with each person. Humans assemble a kind of shorthand about the people in our lives, and then we adapt our interactions based on how we see that person. Look at your list and focus on the person or people you put negative words with. When you think negatively of someone, you don’t generally treat them with as much warmth or trust as you do others. Today, see if you can find a more positive word to associate with them, and then act accordingly. When you can focus on a person’s positive traits – and everyone has some – you get the best out of people in return. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Before Ryan Seacrest became the host for the longest-running music countdown show, American Top 40, Casey Kasem hosted it. He signed off every week with the same phrase: “Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.” Do you remember the younger version of yourself – that person who didn’t have a mortgage, a career, and maybe a marriage and children? That younger version of most of us believed in a little bit of magic in our lives, so we did reach for the stars every now and then. We ignored how it was we could have something or do something and just focused on how much we wanted whatever it was. “Reaching for the stars” is simply a way of keeping your eyes open to possibilities that life always hands us. If we’re open to them, we see them and can go after them. If we’re focused on the ground, where our feet belong, then we might miss what’s up among the stars. Next time you find yourself mired in a problem, remember Casey Kasem’s words – let your feet be in the problem, and let your imagination reach up to where the possibilities are soaring. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Are you a little tired of all the talk about happiness? It’s OK – you won’t hurt my feelings. A lot of contrarian articles have been published about the pitfalls of putting a happy face sticker on everything, as if that’s what the goal is. The goal isn’t to pretend things are great when they’re not – the goal is to make things better by teaching your brain to focus and process differently. I worked at a very successful radio station, we got a new program director who made a lot of changes, and suddenly instead of being first, we dropped in the ratings like a useless NASA satellite falling out of orbit. Turns out, the new program director was a good leader – he met with us, told us he’d screwed up, and told us how, together, we could turn it around and be even better than before. And he was right – we did even more than he dared us to do. In a crisis, he showed us that he didn’t break under pressure and we didn’t have to either. He gave us a target and the road map to hit it, focusing us on a happy, positive goal, and the celebration when we hit it was delicious. Go ahead – dis happiness if you want to. The rest of us will be over here having fun and succeeding. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Does someone owe you an apology? Yeah, me, too. Think we’ll ever get them? Mmmm…maybe, and maybe not. I screwed up at the salon and created chaos in my hairdresser’s schedule. I didn’t mean to, and didn’t know I’d done it until much later. When I went back in the next time, I made it a point to let her know that I felt awful for creating chaos in her day, apologizing more than once. Some things are harder to apologize about, so if you’re waiting for an apology over something major, consider this: the other person may not know how to make those words come out of their mouth. They may feel like so much damage was done or so much time has passed that an apology would feel trivial. Or they may have just let go of the whole incident, choosing to put it out of their mind. You can’t make someone apologize, and you can change your expectations.  Can you make it OK in your own mind and heart to never get that apology? Because when you can, you win! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Quick – do you have a deadline looming? Something you are in charge of doing, producing, leading, or creating? How does it feel to you? Looming deadlines don’t usually feel very good, and thinking about all the steps that still need to be taken in order to meet that deadline can be very stressful. That nagging little voice in your head can start in with the “you’ll never make it” and “it’s impossible” and “what makes you think you could ever do something like this” kind of talk. Think back to when you were a child and an adult scolded you – did you try to avoid their eyes, and avoid hearing and responding? That’s a human response to stress, so now fast-forward back to right now, when the adult you is feeling stressed about the deadline. Are you avoiding thinking about it, avoiding moving forward with it, and maybe even avoiding asking for help with it? Again, that’s very human, and it won’t get you across the finish line triumphantly. Look at whatever it is that needs doing and make a decision – can you hit that deadline or not? If the answer is yes, then make a game of getting organized, getting things done, and getting help if you need some. Now, doesn’t that feel better? PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Are there things you believe are absolutely, positively true? Most people have at least a handful of things they believe non-negotiably. Maybe their parents taught them things they absolutely, positively believed, and maybe schools and clubs and religious institutions deepened those beliefs for them. Some people generalize their beliefs, assuming that since some things they believe are true, then everything they believe is just as true. Let me share something I believe is true – even truths need to be questioned now and then, no matter how true you think they are. As you gain more life experience over time, you gain new perspectives on the world and how you fit into it. You don’t necessarily have to change any of your beliefs – just analyze them every now and then to see if they still serve you and feel true to you. Allow your beliefs to be flexible. Nothing is black and white. Even the black night sky has different shades of darkness and light. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Growing up, did you hear things like, “Settle down – you’re too rowdy” or “you don’t have to talk all the time” or “wow, you really let your weird flag fly, don’t you?” Every person is different, and yet the pressure to conform to what others think is normal is immense! No matter what you call it – social norms, majority influence, group pressure – fitting in seems to be expected of us, right from the beginning. From being teased about how you’re dressed to being expected to demonstrate your level of education vs. standardized tests to working overtime every night because everyone else on the team does it, the pressure to conform is everywhere. And inside, maybe your heart really wants to do things your way. The more you squelch that inner song of yours, the more stress you’ll have, the shorter fuse you’ll have, and the less likely you’ll be to be fulfilled in your work or your life. Say this to yourself in the mirror every morning, so you’ll remember it and believe it: “I’m not for everyone – and it’s OK.” PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

How many times in a day do you should on yourself? You know, that little voice inside your head pipes up and says things like, “I should have been kinder” or “I should have known that would happen” or even “I shouldn’t be so gullible!”  When you should on yourself, you might as well wag a finger in your face, because you’re scolding, shaming, and bullying yourself. When you should on yourself, you’re expecting the past-tense version of you to have been a fortune teller, magically foreseeing how things would turn out and doing things differently. Should-ing is focusing in the past, where you have no power. Seriously – there are no do-overs. You can’t go back in time and do what you now think you should have done. Self-shaming is one of the least productive, most destructive things you can do to yourself. Whenever that voice inside your head starts shoulding on you, notice it, identify it as self-destructive, and focus on what’s happening around you. That’s a productive use of your brainpower. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Have you been questioning your value to this world? Maybe wondering what your purpose in this life is, or even your destiny? It’s human to wonder, and maybe even worry, if you’re doing enough for others, or for the environment, or for whatever it is you care deeply about. When you go beyond just thinking about these things to worrying over them, then you’re doing yourself a disservice. You’re putting yourself into stress mode over things you care about that may or may not be in your power to completely change. Let’s say you worry about all the plastic bottles that end up polluting the ocean. What you can do is recycle those you use and try to cut down on using as many. What you can’t do is make everyone else care as deeply as you do. Do what you can to alleviate the problem, and maybe gently – GENTLY – inform and educate when the opportunity presents itself. Do what you can do, because that’s all you can do, and because that is your value, your purpose, and your destiny – help where and when you can. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you ever get white-hot mad about someone? You know the kind of mad I mean – that feeling of righteous indignation, of overwhelming anger over an injustice done to you? Yeah – I’ve never felt that way either. Not! It’s very human to react strongly to something that feels unjust, mean, and awful, and in our strong reactions, it feels to us like we’re doing something productive. It’s satisfying to our brains to take up arms against the indignity, crafting sharp words, practicing arguments we’ll win, and even trying to sway others to our side – you know, the right side. Oops. What happened very likely had nothing to do with you, and wasn’t about you at all. Your reaction is what made it about you. And I’m not pointing fingers here – I have to remind myself of this, too. The perpetrator was just being themselves, and you got caught up in it somehow. Your power – and mine, too! – lies in remembering that. The bad thing started inside another person and is because of and about the other person. You give the other person power when you react strongly, and you deprive them when you ignore and go on with your life. Relax…take a breath…move on! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeingawofattraction

Personal growth can be scary, and yet personal growth is necessary if you want to feel satisfied by your life. That sounds like a contradiction – it isn’t. Just as your physical body has grown and changed throughout your life, from infant to toddler to teen to what it is today, your mental body and spirit body has grown and changed, too. Every experience you have informs you about the world around you and the people inhabiting that world. With new information comes new insights and desires, and in order to fulfill those desires, you have to grow. Personal growth might mean facing a behavior you have that you’d like to change, getting out of a relationship that’s no longer serving you, or finally taking the first step towards a long-held dream. All of that is scary, and yet necessary for you to feel satisfied and comfortable in your life. And just when you get comfy, you’ll get a new desire you want to fulfill, and voila – a new, scary step to take. Get comfy with being uncomfortable – it’s how personal growth and fulfillment happen. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you ever wonder why so many experts in many different disciplines tell you to de-clutter your home and your office? Why are they so insistent, and why do they even care? Like a parent, I’m going to tell you – it’s for your own good. And it’s for my own good, too. The neuroscience of clutter and stress is well-documented: the brain likes order, and the brain needs to have fewer things to focus on, so the brain tends to trigger more stress response when faced with a cluttered environment. Because of societal expectations and conditioning, this stress response to clutter is more apparent in women than men. And no, swinging the pendulum completely to the other side is the wrong response – perfectionism is just as stressful as messiness, especially for women. What’s the answer? A happy medium – a place for everything, and most things in their place most of the time. Now, to tackle this stack of papers on my desk… PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you often get blindsided by people you think you know? For instance, a co-worker you’ve had a congenial relationship with suddenly treats you like you killed and ate their dog? This is so uncomfortable, and when it feels sudden, it can leave you with hurt feelings as well as a distrust of yourself and your instincts. Don’t distrust your instincts – learn to hear them. Maybe you, like me, were brought up to give people the benefit of the doubt. That’s a very nice way to be, and it works most of the time. We listen to their words, watch their behaviors, and usually they match. Now and then, you’ll interact with someone whose words and behaviors don’t match, and you’re so used to giving people the benefit of the doubt that you do it here, too. Wrong – chances are, your intuition nudged you and said, “maybe don’t trust this one so much” and you ignored the warning. Don’t wait until someone’s bad behavior is pointed at you – when the words and behaviors don’t match, listen to your intuition. It won’t lie to you like that person just did. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Have you ever thought about something a lot and it happened just like you imagined it would? That’s not an accident and you can do it on purpose, just like elite athletes. The process is called “visualization” and has been in use among athletes for decades, and it’s based in neuroscience. As I’ve mentioned in other episodes, our brain literally can’t tell the difference between what’s really happening around us and what we imagine is happening around us. When you think about something you love, the brain floods the body with hormones that match the feeling of love, and when you think about something scary, the brain floods the body with hormones that match the feeling of fear. Visualization is mental rehearsal for an event in your future. I’ve used it before I compete, before I give a speech in front of thousands of people, and before I’ve had to have a difficult conversation with someone. Mental rehearsal sets you up to succeed, and it’s easy and portable. You can do it anywhere – sit quietly, close your eyes, and create a mind movie of you effortlessly and effectively accomplishing something. Lather, rinse, repeat, and get set to succeed! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you often feel pressed for time? Like there’s far too much to get done in one day by one person, and you’re constantly feeling a shortness of time? This Tiny Bite to the rescue! Albert Einstein is quoted as saying, “Time does not exist – we invented it. Time is what the clock says.” Humans invented time based on the repetitive apparent movement of the sun, planets, and stars. The breaking of the day into 24 hours, and hours into 60 minutes, was done in the distant past, beginning with the Sumarians in 3500 BCE, refined by the Egyptians in 1500 BCE, and further refined by Greek astronomers in 150 to 125 BCE. You don’t need to remember the dates or who invented what – just that humans invented time as a way to measure the day, not as a way to terrorize themselves for not achieving things within a certain timeframe. When you’re feeling pressed for time, remember – time is not an absolute, it’s a concept. Most concepts are flexible by nature. Let your time flex to meet your needs instead of you stressing out. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeingwofattraction

Is there someone in your life that you pour into, trying to help them survive and thrive? Maybe it’s a child, maybe it’s an extended family member, or maybe it’s a friend or co-worker? There are times in every person’s life where they need the help of others, and it does feel good to help, doesn’t it? It feels good, right up until it doesn’t. Maybe you’ve gotten there with this person you’re thinking of? Or maybe you will get there, sooner or later. Some people like to let others take care of them. They view themselves as victims, focusing on the bad things that have happened to them as evidence of a life of strife and unfairness. They call on those around them to lift them up, and often focus their neediness on one specific person. It can be you, and you’ll feel good for a while. And then maybe you’ll notice that the things you’ve taught them over and over they still aren’t putting into action? And maybe you’ll see that they continue to depend on you for things they could do for themselves, they just don’t? Think about this…if you had a houseplant that withered and died in spite of everything you did for it, would you continue to water it? PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Two four six eight – who do you appreciate? No, this isn’t a pep rally…or maybe it is. Really think about who you appreciate and why you appreciate them. Give yourself a few minutes today and put these thoughts on paper. Think about family members, friends, business associates, barristas, the person who cuts your hair. Think about your 4th grade teacher, who made learning fun by infusing it with games. Think about the professor who gave you extra time and extra-credit projects until you finally grasped the concepts she was trying to teach you. Think about inventors who dreamed of electric lights, paved roads, and elevators. Think of the farmer who cared for the cows – or maybe almonds – that created the milk in your refrigerator. Think of your dentist and your veterinarian and your … well, you get the idea, right? It’s so easy to take people and things for granted. Make a daily habit of consciously appreciating at least one person or thing in your life. Now that’s something to cheer about! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you know someone who marches to the beat of a drummer only they can hear? Maybe you know someone who isn’t afraid to express their individuality no matter what other people think. Or maybe, if you’re one of the very lucky ones, it’s you who’s comfortable enough in your own skin to live life your way and on your terms. Being different is the human condition – every single person is different from every single other person, no exceptions. Even identical twins aren’t identical in their wants, dreams, and preferences. So many people try sooooooo hard to be “like everyone else.” That’s how trends happen – that’s how influencers get paid – it’s that human trait of trying to fit in. It’s thought to be easier to do what you “should do” or are “supposed to do” because you see others doing it, too. Yet you’ve probably had the experience of doing something in a way that’s not natural to you, and you end up feeling like a fraud, right? Skip that part – listen to your heart. That’s the only drum beat you need to follow. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you hate your job, but you stay because you feel you can’t make more money elsewhere? Or maybe you stay because you don’t want to abandon certain people you work with, or the mission you and your team are on. Yet you still hate your job – you get up in the morning dreading going to work, the stress building before you even walk in the door. Time to work on an exit strategy as you hone your stress-relieving skills. First, find a way to soften your bad feelings about being in a not-optimal job by focusing on the good parts of it. It provides money so you can pay your bills. There are probably people there you like, and there are probably at least a few pieces of what you do that you enjoy. Focus on those while you’re working, instead of focusing on what you dislike. This will take concentration and practice, so be patient with yourself. And polish up your resume and start looking around – what would you rather be doing? Focus on where you want to be and you’ll get there a lot faster, and with loads less stress! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing