Tiny Bites of Wagaliciousness

When you suffer a loss, it hurts. Sometimes it hurts a lot. In times of loss, what you focus on can be the difference between feeling stuck and sad or feeling strong and sad. We’re human – we don’t like to lose people or things we care deeply about, and when we do lose them, we hurt. Hurting makes us sad, so “sad” during and after a loss is inevitable. You will feel it, so let those feelings in, and don’t wallow in them. When you focus on the pain and the loss, you feel more pain and loss. The longer you focus on the pain and the loss, the harder it can be to return to the rhythm of your life. When you have something else to focus on, you will still feel the loss, and yet you’ll slowly move on. You’ll care for the people or pets who depend on you. You will tend the garden that will die without your attention. You’ll ease back into the rhythm of your work schedule and work friendships. All of that will help you move through the loss. You may never completely get over the pain of the loss, and you can and will get over the loss by focusing on what you still have and love about your life. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

The world is awash in depressed people. Estimates vary between 300 million and half a billion people worldwide suffer from depression, meaning about 1 out of every 16 people is depressed. How many people do you know? Do the math – you know, work with, and might even be one of the “1 in 16.” Depression has many faces, and some of the people you know may be dealing with theirs in a way that makes it invisible to you. They might be perfectly functional through the workday, and when they get home, sit in silence until bedtime. They may be more quiet than usual when you’re with them…nothing extreme, just quiet. And they may be what most people think of when they think of a person with depression – prone to crying jags, hiding out in their home, and maybe drinking more than usual. If you have a close relationship with them, ask if they’re ok, and then just listen. You don’t have to “fix” a depressed person, you just have to care. Help them feel seen and cared for. That’s all. And in most cases that’s enough. Can you do it? Will you? PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Have you ever wanted something for another person? When I was young, I wanted my mom to be a leader, or at least a volunteer. I was in scouting and wanted my mom to be one of the moms who went camping with us, and who did the arts and crafts and music and survival skills and all the other learning experiences the troop did. When I asked her to please be part of it, her answer was “I’m not really much of a joiner.” Mom grew up in a time of low expectations for women: wives, mothers, housekeepers. She was an amazing person – a reader who studied all sorts of things, who dipped into our encyclopedias often to satisfy her itch to learn, and who was content to watch her family shine while she didn’t. It’s not easy to want something for another person, and if that’s a spot you’re in, may I offer you something that may help you? Even when you know that what you want for them is what they may want for themselves deep down, until they’re ready to take steps, your pushing will only annoy them. Want what you want for yourself and allow others the same grace. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

The late John Lennon said, “Peace isn’t something you wish for, it’s something you make.” What does that mean? Especially when politics and world news are filled with stories of war, unrest, and division, how can we make peace? Intentionally. Peace lives inside of you, waiting for you to value it enough to cultivate it. Peace happens when you decide that how you feel is worth more than being right. Peace is caring for a relationship more than caring for your position on a topic. Peace is choosing not to focus on things that hurt your heart, and intentionally changing your focus when you notice that your heart hurts. Peace is knowing what’s most important to you and keeping it forefront in your mind. Peace isn’t something you wish for, it’s something you make. Make peace in your heart today and every day. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Yesterday, I was disappointed. Something I ordered and needed by a certain date hadn’t arrived, and I was bummed. Normal, right? I had an expectation of getting what I needed when I needed it, and that expectation wasn’t met. There’s a word that’s like expectation, and it’s a pretty good description of what we might think of doing with our expectations: expectoration. In case you’ve never run across that word before, it means spit. When something is spit out, it is being forcefully ejected from someone’s mouth. You can forcefully eject things from your brain and heart, too. Spit out your expectations. The truth is, people don’t disappoint you. Your expectations of those people is where disappointment lives, and only you are in charge of your expectations. Expectorate them and replace them with appreciation. Appreciation when something goes right. Appreciation when you see something beautiful or extraordinary in a person, place, or thing. Appreciation for your ability to shift your patterns to those that will serve you better than your expectations have. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Have you ever been ghosted? It happens to the very best of us, so try not to take it personally. In case it’s never happened to you, that’s when someone expresses an interest in you, gets your contact information, makes contact, and at some point in the budding business or personal relationship, disappears. They don’t text, they don’t call, they don’t return emails – it’s like they ceased to exist. In the olden days of the wild west, ghosting looked like someone sneaking out of town on the midnight train, never to be seen or heard from again. In the roaring ‘20’s, you left the gin joint together, shared a drunken kiss on the doorstep, and one or the other suddenly ceased to communicate, including not answering the door. Ghosting happens after a great interview for a new hire, a fabulous first date, and it can happen to you, too. Here’s what to do and how to feel when someone ghosts you: thank them. They’re showing you they don’t have the guts to be honest and open. You win. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Have you ever been in a spirited discussion where you and the other person were on opposite sides of the fence? Whether the person you were talking with is a friend, acquaintance, co-worker, family member or complete stranger, this Tiny Bite is for you. It’s for you if you’ve never been in an argument, because someday you probably will be. Ask questions. Listen. Be open to hearing their experiences about whatever it is you’re discussing. Share yours when it’s your turn, and share experiences instead of opinions. People will listen to your stories about a topic, even when they disagree with your opinion. People won’t listen to your opinion if you’re not listening to their stories. When you can share stories and ask questions, you show that you’re open to learning from the other person. When you can only share opinions, you may be perceived as a conversational bully. Be teachable – that means being open to learning from people, even those who disagree with you. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Have you ever been the broken-hearted half of a breakup? It hurts soooooo bad! As the sharpness of the pain begins to recede, anger creeps in, along with anger’s ugly cousin, blame. It’s easy to blame the end of the relationship on the other person, and in a lot of ways, it’s very satisfying, too. The healing process includes the anger and blame – can you make yourself speed through that as quickly as possible? Because here’s the truth – it’s never one person or the other, it’s both. Yes, the ex misbehaved. Yes, the ex didn’t live up to your expectations. And yes, those expectations are YOURS, not theirs. You can expect things from yourself, and you have every right to get upset if you don’t live up to your expectations. When someone else doesn’t, ask yourself – was it their job to live up to your expectations? If things were reversed, would you live up to their expectations of you if you didn’t want to? No one is here to dance to anyone else’s tune if they don’t want to. Pick up the pieces of your heart and start dancing again like the ex doesn’t matter. Because they don’t. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Godwinks…impulses…undeniable urges…do you get those, too? When you follow the impulse, doesn’t it feel magical? Today I was working on a project, totally focused. Suddenly it popped into my head to open the Nextdoor app and offer to give away a lectern that had been in my garage for years. I learned long ago to just follow the impulse whenever possible, so I put aside the project and posted pictures and a description. That was about three hours ago. A man and his teen son are coming to pick it up any minute now. His wife realized just this morning that she needed a lectern for the memorial service she’s holding in a beautiful garden day after tomorrow, so she opened Nextdoor to see if anyone local had anything she could make work. My lectern is just what she was thinking of. That wasn’t a coincidence, it was meant to work out just that way. Trust your undeniable urges, your impulses, your godwinks. We’re connected in ways we don’t understand, and yet we are connected. Trust your inner knowing. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Once upon a time, bedtime stories told of a time when dragons threatened damsels, knights on powerful steeds rode to the rescue, and there was a fairy-tale wedding and a happily-ever-after. Yes, there are a lot of variations on the theme, yet the same simple lesson was stamped into our heads – things threaten, and people will save us and give us great lives. What if you don’t need to be saved? What if you are the knight on a powerful steed, able to slay your own dragons? What if you found true love because of the love part instead of the need part? How powerful would you feel to surround yourself with the people you enjoy spending time with instead of those you had to spend time with in order to survive and thrive? Can you think of yourself as your own knight in shining armor? Will you, starting today? PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you ever what-if yourself? Most of us do – buyer’s remorse is a common phrase for a reason. Especially after making a major purchase, many people go through a few days or weeks of what-iffing: what if I didn’t choose the best car what if I could have gotten more money at the new job what if this person I’ve agreed to marry turns out to be Mr. Wrong instead of Mr. Right? What if you could banish what-iffing from your life? The angst is probably caused by the fear of getting it wrong, whatever “it” is. The truth is, no decision is ever done as long as you’re still breathing. You can always make a different choice later if this one doesn’t suit you. You can get a different car, or ask for a raise or bonus or performance bump, and you can say “no” to a marriage even after you’ve said “yes.” A decision is just something you do with a given set of facts and feelings. If the facts and feelings change, you can make a new decision. Doesn’t that help you let go of what-if? PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

How are you feeling today? Kind of blah? Maybe worse than just “blah” – maybe you’ve got a case of the blues? That happens to us all now and then, and especially if you’re someone who is usually upbeat, the blues can be quite upsetting. The science can’t explain exactly how, though researchers are closing in on cellular memory as it relates to humans. The hypothesis is that our memories, especially those related to major, adverse events in our lives, don’t just live in the brain, they’re stored in other places in the body, too. What if a day where you just randomly have the blues is really the anniversary of an adverse event in your life? That’s happened to me, and maybe it’s happened to you, too. Be kind to yourself on the days when you’re blue or just blah – it could be your body crying tears you can’t see. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Quick – look back on your life and find at least one pattern. We all have them – our brains are designed to learn and operate through patterning. Maybe you smoke or used to smoke – there was a pattern about when you lit up, right? Maybe it was right after dinner, or in the car on your way to work. There’s a pattern about how you load the dishwasher, about how you hang your clothes up, and about how you make a shopping list. There are also relationship patterns – if you’re not in the kind of relationship you’d like to be in, take inventory today. Think about what’s good about the current relationship and what you’d change if you could. Now look back on previous relationships and make the same two lists. Chances are, the lists are fairly similar in very important ways. Look at the things you’d like to change, find the commonalities, and decide today that you won’t go into another relationship with those problems. When you can find a pattern, that’s great. When you can break a destructive pattern, that’s growth and maturity. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you ever have to complete specific training to keep your job? In order to work with some of the people and teams I serve and enjoy, occasionally I have to take mandated training. I recently completed the Darkness to Light Stewards of Children training, and one of the people in that class said, “I am a light in peoples’ darkness and there’s no better thing to be.” How does that statement make you feel? Is being a light in the darkness for others something you are, too? Can you think of a time when you lit a path for someone, or blazed a trail for others to follow? Can you think of a way you can be a light in the work you do now, or with the people you love? Today, spend ten minutes thinking about how you’ve been a light for others, and how you can be that light now. The world needs your light – please keep shining! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Are you a lover of books? Mom was a voracious reader who instilled a love of books in me, too. As I write this, there are three books on the corner of my desk, a stack of 5 books on the table at the end of the couch, and three bookcases in this living room. I’ve also written and co-written several books – my love affair with the written word runs deep. You, too? Follow me with this book analogy from Emile Zola - “We are like books. Most people only see our cover, the minority read only the introduction, many people believe the critics. Few will know our content.” Next time you feel misunderstood, remember this quote. People form a strong opinion of who they think we are without ever truly knowing who we are. Their opinion is valid to them, and it’s not worth your time to try to change it with words. Live your best life. They’ll either choose to read the book of you, or they’ll fall away, just a minor character in the book that is you. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Has someone called you selfish recently? Good for you! That means you value yourself, your time, and the resources you’ve earned, and that’s an important component of self-worth and self-esteem. When someone calls you “selfish” what they’re really saying is that they want to manipulate you and your boundaries are in the way. When someone calls you “selfish” what they’re really saying is that they want you to give your time, talent, and treasure to them instead of keeping it to yourself. When someone calls you “selfish” what they’re saying is that they don’t want you to selfishly do what you want, they selfishly want you to do what they want. Hear that again – the person who is calling you selfish is really saying that they are selfish and want you to do what they want you to do, not what you want to do. Carry on – be as selfish as you need to be. Don’t let others manipulate you through verbal bullying.   PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Are you in a relationship where you feel lost or helpless? That’s an awful way to feel, and it’s not about the other person – you’re feeling that way because you’re not remembering who you are. Let’s say it’s a romantic relationship, you really want the other person to be in your life and stay in your life and yet you fear that they won’t, so you continuously try to prove your worth to them. Have you known them your entire life? Has there ever been a time in your life where you were doing just fine without them? Of course there has, and there can be again. When you treat someone like you desperately need them, they feel the “desperate” part and are more likely to leave, not stay. Spend some time remembering who you are, what you’ve accomplished in life, and appreciating how they add to your life and yet are not essential to your life. When you can stop feeling desperate, that will strengthen, not weaken, your relationship. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Have you ever had someone stab you in the back? Maybe it was a co-worker, maybe a so-called friend – most of us have had the experience of learning that someone we know, like, and formerly trusted treated us badly in some way. It hurts, right? It makes most people not only distrust, but seriously dislike, the person who behaved that way. I’ve been in those shoes and they do not feel good! Here’s the secret truth your momma probably didn’t teach you – the person who wronged you hurts, too. We usually think of them as bad or rude or even evil, and yet it’s only hurt people who hurt people. Can you imagine how insignificant and small they must feel if the only way they can see to stand out is to make another person look bad? And can you find compassion for the person who wronged you? You don’t ever have to trust them again – forgive them and move on, because that’s who you are and how you live your best life. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

When you watch the news and see the unrest around us, do you choose sides? For a moment, try to let go of “right” and “wrong” and see a bigger picture. In America we have freedom of assembly, freedom of speech, and freedom of religion. America was founded on the principles of structured civil disobedience that blossomed into a war to win the right to exist. This country has a long history of civil disobedience, with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. as a shining example of keeping the “civil” in civil disobedience, and also as a sad example of how hard it can be for humans to live up to theoretical ideals. If you must watch the news, please don’t marinate yourself in it, and try to see the bigger picture in events where the details disturb you. When you do that, you are creating peace inside yourself, no matter what’s going on in the world around you. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Is it possible to be too comfortable? Yes. Hear me out – I’m not talking about your favorite pair of yoga pants, and I’m not talking about that place on the couch that fits your body perfectly. I’m talking about your life. When we get too comfortable, we can get feelings of stagnation, boredom, and frustration. Why? It’s because we’re not making decisions, we’re just living life on autopilot. Now and then, shake things up. If you’ve lived in the same place for a long time, fly the nest. If you haven’t been on vacation since the summer of ’07, reach for adventure this summer. If there’s something you want to do but you’re a little bit afraid, scare yourself and do it. Make more decisions. Decisions draw life through you, and you can’t feel stagnant, bored, or frustrated with life pulsing through you. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Did you grow up in a lemon grove? Were you mistreated as a child? Maybe you had an abusive parent or uncle or grandparent. Maybe there was an abuser in your church family. There are so many ways that grown-ups mistreat children, sometimes meaning to and sometimes not, that it’s a miracle so many of us manage to become functional adults. My goal for you is to be more than just functional – you deserve a wagalicious life, where you take those lemons that were hurled at you and make lemonade. Start by giving yourself credit for surviving and making it this far, and then focus on who you are now, not where you’ve been. Give yourself credit for the healthy relationships in your life. Give yourself credit for taking care of yourself now. Give yourself credit for the kindness that still lives in your heart. You have become a person who sees abuse, recognizes abusers, and comes to the aid of those who need it. You have a lot to be proud of in your life – you are the lemonade and you’re becoming sweeter by the day. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Can you remember to feel better whenever you’d like? We feel by default. It’s learned behavior, and here’s how I know that: two people can look at the same thing and feel completely different feelings. One person can see a wedding party headed to the ceremony and their heart will sing with joy because they believe in the power of new beginnings. Another person could see that same wedding party and their heart will hurt because their experience with marriage hasn’t been a joyful one. The good news is that learned behavior can be unlearned – here’s how: notice how you feel and decide if you’d like to feel better. When you see something that dismays you, notice the feeling and make it lighter. In the case of the wedding party, instead of marinating in your non-joyful marriage, focus on the hope that’s in the hearts of everyone in that wedding party. Move your thoughts to a better place and your feelings will follow. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Maybe you’re like me – you like mementoes of the things you’ve done, the places you’ve been, and the people you’ve shared your life with. You like those things, right up until you don’t. Do you have too much stuff, too? Talking to a friend who likes to fish, he used the term “catch & release” and it’s a powerful idea – it’s fine to gather those mementoes and when you’re ready, it’s fine to release them, too. You lose nothing by releasing things that you don’t need, because you’re not releasing the experience or the learning or the memories, just the things. You are the sum total of all of your experiences. You are made of the most important part of the stuff…you don’t need to have the stuff to remind you who you are. Maybe it’s time to be more, and maybe the stuff is in the way. You did the “catch” part – time to release. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Can you think of your emotions as having a volume control? You know how sometimes you feel really sad, and other times you’re feeling down? That feeling of sad would have a higher volume than feeling down would. Sometimes you are so happy you want to jump for joy, and sometimes you are contented. Joy would have a higher volume than contented. Same emotional root, just more or less of it. There – now that you understand that your emotions have a volume control, take this in – you are in 100% total control of the volume. You can change the volume of a feeling just by choosing to focus on more of it or less of it. Next time you feel a strong emotion like anger, try to find a way to turn down the volume. Did that person really mean to cut you off, or did they just not see you? Practice playing with the volume of your emotions and feel more powerful in your life. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Are you someone who looks for permission from others? Maybe you feel bad about leaving work once your job and workday are done, when others are still working. Maybe you feel like you should pick up the slack driving carpool, even though one of the other mothers almost never does her part. Maybe you put the needs of your family and friends ahead of your own because that’s what you think you’re supposed to do. Let me give you permission to not need permission. There is no shame in being tired. There is no shame in needing time to yourself, or the space to do something that feels important to you. There is no shame in doing what you want and need to do for your own wellbeing for a change. Make yourself a priority. If you don’t, who will? PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

A friend posted this online recently and I loved it so much that I got permission to use it as a Tiny Bite. Most of us were raised to do right, to get things right, to be agreeable, to be self-sufficient, to work hard, and to be the person our parents wanted us to be. Those are all admirable qualities, until we use them to beat ourselves up when we feel we’ve missed the mark. Listen up – here’s a list of awards that do not exist, so quit trying to earn them: Most Perfect    Never Said No    Rested the Least    Didn’t Need Help    Worked the Longest            Didn’t Make Any Mistakes    Lived Up to Everyone’s Expectations    None of those awards exist. Not one of them. Give yourself permission to do the best you can with the tools and conditions you have and be satisfied with the results of your best efforts. Your best you can do is literally all you can do – quit demanding more of yourself. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

How do you feel when someone is mad at you? Most people don’t like to make others mad, and depending on the relationship with the angry person, your feelings can range from hurt to defensive to a level of anger matching the other person’s. It’s human and normal to react to others’ reaction to you, and yet it is an exercise in pointlessness to try to change their feelings. Apologize in whatever manner is appropriate to your view of what happened, and then you move on. They’ll either get over it, or they’ll try to talk to you about what happened, or they’ll stay mad. In any of those scenarios, how they feel is on them, not on you. And it’s not about you, either. When you truly understand that how others feel about you is about them, not about you, that’s when you gain true freedom in your own life. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

There is so much power in silence! It took me most of my life to figure this out and I want you to know it and use it way earlier than I did. Silence is the unexpected response. People expect agreement or argument – they don’t expect no response at all. Think about the last argument you were part of – how did it feel, and how did it play out? Was there agreement in the end, even if it was just agreeing to disagree? Even that doesn’t feel good, does it? What if, instead of being part of the argument, you could just be quiet? Look the other person in the face, maybe raise an eyebrow or shrug your shoulders, and keep your lips together. You don’t have to respond to everything that’s said to you, especially if it feels harsh or disrespectful. You don’t have to defend yourself against every misguided opinion about you that people might have. Silence is power. Find ways to use that power in your life each day. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Have you ever been around someone who is stuck in the aftermath of a life change? Some people simply don’t have the coping skills to move on. Don’t get me wrong – moving on is hard, especially when the life change was unexpected or unwanted or both. There’s not much that’s more tedious than having to re-live someone’s heartache over and over and over and over every time you’re with them. And there’s not much that’s more heartbreaking for the person than to be stuck. A great visual is their favorite novel – get a copy, show them the happy ending, then back up about halfway through the book and show them whatever that chapter is dishing up. If you have to beat them over the head with it, remind them that the only way to the happy ending is to keep reading the pages and chapters. Life isn’t just one big event – it’s the little joys each day that bolster our spirits until we can see our way past the painful event. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Is there someone in your life who always seems to be clashing with others, and maybe even with you? It’s like they live to argue, and only listen to a conversation long enough to find something or someone to correct. People like that are attention-seekers. They need to be the center of attention, and the way they have found is to contradict whatever’s being said. When you find yourself in conversation with someone like that, there are two ways to play it. If you have the time and the focus and the sense of humor it will take, play with them and see how long it takes you to get them to trap themselves in a logic box. Or you could do it the way that respects your time, your boundaries, and your peace: walk away. Don’t argue with someone whose sole purpose is to get and hold your attention. You take yourself and your attention elsewhere – people like that are a waste of time. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Quick – think about the worst teacher you ever had. What was it about that person that made sitting through their class so hard? Now, think about the best teacher you ever had – what made them so great? Have I told you about Mr. Buhn, my high school physics teacher? Getting into his class was tough – your GPA had to be great and there still was a waiting list each semester. He was popular because he made learning fun, incorporating everyday life into his teaching method. He jokingly referenced the Flat Earth Society once, and a bunch of us got together and bought him a membership. He used their newsletter to spark conversations about whatever aspect of physics we were learning about, and his enthusiasm and humor were contagious. Think about your favorite teacher – how can you incorporate their sparkle into the way you interact with others? Because here’s the secret – you’re teaching someone something every single day. Live your life like you want to be a great teacher, not a boring one. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

What is resilience and how can you create more of it in your life? Resilience is trust. Trust in your ability to persevere. Trust in your ability to react appropriately. Trust in your ability to choose your next step wisely. How do you learn to trust yourself? By making mistakes, recognizing the mistakes, and from there, making a better choice. You can only become resilient through the rough patches in your life, through dealing with the adversity that life inevitably tosses your way, and by giving yourself a pat on the back when you come through the adversity relatively unscathed and with a new little branch of knowledge and wisdom on the growing tree that is you. Think about a sapling – in its earliest stages, saplings are easily eaten by a deer, which kills the sapling. As it grows, the sapling becomes less soft and flexible and more able to withstand the deer’s teeth. By the time it’s a few years old, the leaves are vulnerable, and the trunk no longer is. You’re like that sapling – as you grow, you grow stronger and more able to withstand life’s challenges. Trust in the process – you’re gaining resilience every single day. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you ever get lost? I know – it’s tougher than ever to get lost trying to drive somewhere. We have Waze, Google Maps, Siri – so many ways to help us get where we’re going, and yet, now and then those apps fail. How do you feel when you’re lost? Panicked? Frantic? Irritated? Angry? Can you make yourself laugh in that moment? Because if you can, you’ll put your brain in the mental space it needs to be in order to problem-solve for you. When we’re in panic mode, or are scared, irritated, or angry, flight or fight is in charge inside your skull, and that process is overkill when you’re looking for a street name. Making yourself laugh triggers the creative, problem-solving parts of your brain. When I’m feeling lost, I remind myself that I’m not truly lost unless I accidentally cross a state line. Ok, so yes…I did do that once, and it made me laugh even harder. And I was back on the right track less than two minutes later. You will be, too – remember to laugh instead of feeling lost. It’ll get you where you’re going and you’ll be better company when you get there. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you cry easily? Some people do, and that’s OK. Do you hate to cry, especially in front of others? Some people, me included, do, and that’s OK, too. The focus of my work with people and teams is to help people shift gears in life on purpose, creating a more harmonious, calm, successful, happy life. Banishing negative emotions and teary episodes isn’t the way to do that. If you need to cry, cry. Don’t beat yourself up for crying – it’s a sign that you’re alive and human, not a sign of weakness of character. Crying releases stress hormones, in addition to making our eyes and noses red, so it’s good for us when we let those tears flow. And if you feel like others will look down on you for crying, next time, don’t run away to cry. Hugs are an important component in community, so if you’re with someone you spend a lot of time with, whether they’re co-workers, friends, or family members, know that someone will probably move to comfort you. Let them. We all need a good cry and a good hug now and then. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

One of my favorite famous-person quotes is from the late Norman Cousins: “The tragedy of life is not death, but what we let die inside of us while we live.” Norman Cousins was an American journalist and author who went on to become an adjunct professor at the University of California Los Angeles in the Department of Psychiatry and Biobehavioral Sciences. His research focus was the connection between attitude and health – he pioneered the idea that laughter truly is the best medicine, and tested it on himself when he was diagnosed with heart disease and a debilitating connective tissue disease his doctors predicted would kill him quickly. Twenty-six years and countless laughs later, he did what we all will do – moved on to whatever is next. He lived the quote in this Tiny Bite, and it’s a good reminder for us all – the tragedy of life isn’t death, but in letting our dreams and sense of fun die inside us while we’re alive. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Did you know your brain changes size during the year? It’s OK – everyone’s does, and researchers are trying to figure out just how and why these changes are triggered. Some changes are tied to the length of daylight, some seem affected by barometric pressure and humidity, and scientists are scratching their heads trying to make sense of our fluctuating brains. In the winter, the part of your brain that controls fine motor skills gets smaller, while in the summer months, the part of your brain that controls processing of emotions, decision-making, and motivation gets smaller. Never fear – they get bigger again when the seasons change, and you can use this information to your advantage. Need to take big, important tests? Take them in the spring and summer months. Need to buckle down and get something done? Your brain can stay motivated better in the fall and winter months. With this knowledge of your brain’s seasonal capabilities, you’re poised for even more success! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Are you lamenting the passing of time? Wishing for a time in your life where your body was younger, your responsibilities were lighter, and your hopes and dreams felt reachable? Please stop wasting your precious energy and time looking backwards. You’re not going that way, nor could you even if you really wanted to. Nostalgia for a simpler time is a normal human reaction to stress or uncertainty, and when we look back, we often focus on what we remember that we liked about those times, juxtaposed with what we’re stressing over in our current life. Please stop it…literally! When you catch yourself longing for days long gone, look around at your surroundings and find something that you can appreciate and feel happy about. Focus on that. Focus on what’s right about your life right now, because when you focus on what’s right you make yourself feel better, plus you’re signaling your brain that you want to notice more things like that. What you focus on is what you see – it’s how your brain is wired. Use that wiring to your advantage! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you give yourself as much credit as you deserve? Probably not – most of us don’t. What comes easily to each of us is our gift, and we usually take our gifts for granted. Even when you’ve spent years and years adding to your knowledge and expertise, you’re working on a part of you that you love, so it doesn’t feel like work. And when someone compliments you on how good you are at whatever your gift is, if you’re like most people, you “aw, shucks” through the compliment, maybe even downplaying just how much expertise and skill you’ve honed. Give yourself credit. Especially for the things that come easily to you, when someone compliments you, accept the compliment. They’ve gone out of their way to shine a spotlight on you. Give them sincere thanks for noticing your wonderfulness. A simple “thank you very much” shows them that you appreciate them as much as they’re appreciating you in that moment. That’s a win for you both! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you make space for things that make you happy? Most people don’t because they don’t believe that being happy is important. They don’t understand that one of the major predictors of success in life is having a satisfying life, and in order to have satisfaction, you must prioritize your own happiness. One day a week I dedicate to dog training and volunteering with Archie the therapy dog. Dog training helps me grow, and even on days where the training doesn’t go very well, I’ve still spent time with a great dog and a bunch of great people. What brings you growth and satisfaction and happiness? Whatever it is, find a way to make time and space for it in your schedule every week. If you don’t make your own satisfaction a priority, it’ll get lost in your busy to-do list. Even worse, if you don’t make time and space for your happiness, the path to success will be longer and harder and way less fun! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Recently, I was mentoring someone on Siberian Huskies. Her goal is to be able to judge them at dog shows, and a prerequisite is mentoring from several long-time owners. We were at a dog show and others were part of the circle of conversation as I started talking about the precaudal spot on the tail. As I relayed the information I was taught and have believed to be true for decades, someone chimed in and gently corrected me. How would you have felt, and how would you have handled that? The younger version of me might have been a bit irritated, and might even have argued. The current version of me has discovered the freedom of not having to be right. The woman who spoke up may or may not have been correct, and I treated her information as if she was. I looked it up later, and turns out I was the person who learned something new. There is power in being open to learn – first, you learn, and second, you show others that conversations go so much better when everyone is open to learning. Be coachable and teachable, even when you're the teacher – it’ll make you much more valuable. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you ever get goosebumps or puddles in your eyes because something feels very real or true to you? That’s your body’s way of confirming that what you’re feeling is real. Goosebumps come from the primitive part of the brain and are tied to emotional response, not empirical response. The same is true of those tears that spring to your eyes and don’t fall – they help you release the rush of hormones triggered by a strong, swift emotion. When you tell a story about something sweet that happened to you, your brain can’t tell the difference between the words you’re saying and the actual event, so it presents you with the same hormone soup you had when the event happened. Likewise, your brain signals you that a thought you’re expressing for the first time is congruent with similar things from your past by releasing the same hormone soup. Goosebumps and puddles are your clues that you’re on the right track towards something good in your life. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Are you someone who worries about what others think of you? Many people do – I used to be one of them – and if it’s you, this Tiny Bite might ease your worry a bit. Let’s take you – do you love everyone you interact with? Every single person you work with, every single family member, every single driver on the road? Of course not – there are people who rub you the wrong way, people who get inside your personal space, people who maybe don’t smell very good. Not everyone was put on this planet to be loved by you, and you are not tasked with finding a way to be loving and welcoming to each and every one. It’s not your job or your purpose in life. Guess what? You’re not here to be loved by everyone either. Some people admire you, some people love you, some people might like you because of what you do for them, and some people might hate your guts. None of it has anything to do with you. You do you, boo, and stop wasting your energy on what everyone else thinks about you doing you. That’s on them, not you. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Let’s pretend you’re driving on an interstate in rolling, slow-ish traffic. Suddenly, the car in front of you stops just in time to not hit the one in front of them, and you slam on the brakes, barely missing the car in front of you. You look in the rearview and see the car behind you jerk to a stop, and the cars behind that one bailing onto the shoulder. What’s your immediate feeling and reaction? Anger at the driver that started it all? Irritation with the situation? Fear of the accident that you were almost a part of? All of those are typical, normal reactions, and yet they do nothing for your mental well-being. They keep you stuck in the drama of a near-miss. What if, instead, you can stop that “normal” reaction before it takes over and choose a better one? What if you could have a celebration for all the good drivers that were attentive enough to keep a chain-reaction accident from happening? Which of those reactions – the “normal” one or the enlightened one – will help you tell a better story when you get to your destination? Which of those reactions – the “normal” one or the enlightened one – will help you have a better day? The choice is yours, and here’s a secret – it always is. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Have you ever been in a place in your life where you felt like there was no good choice? That’s a tough place to be in, right? There’s always a choice, even if it doesn’t feel like a great choice at the moment. When you’re feeling stuck, stop and think about how you feel. Inhabit your feelings…examine your feelings…name them and feel them. Now, think about the choices you have, one by one, and about the possibilities each one presents. One by one, try on each choice as if you had taken it and see how it makes you feel. When you teach yourself to really feel into your life decisions, you’ll learn how to make the best choice even in a situation where there’s not a great choice. Just make the one that feels best to you and make it work. Then make the best choice from your new vantage point, and so on and so on. You’ll be unstuck before you know it! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

How good are your good friends? Do you even know which ones are gold and which ones are tin foil? Yep, it’s entirely possible that you have a tin foil friend – one that looks all bright and shiny when you’re around, and when you’re not there, they show off their duller side. Need an example? Here you go – two girlfriends and I spent a lot of time together and had a lot of fun together. One day I was with one and not the other, and she started telling me how bad she thought the other one was at something. Yikes! Tin foil friends might be fun and funny and entertaining, and it’s good to know that they’re not true friends. What I learned that day was that if she’ll say something like that TO me, she’ll probably say something like that ABOUT me. It’s up to you whether you want to continue to spend time with tin foil friends – just know it’s probably not safe to trust your feelings to one. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Have you ever watched a pet napping in a sunbeam? They’re so relaxed and so comfortable and so contented…wouldn’t it feel great to feel like that sometimes, too? Not only can you, you must! Busyness is a very bad habit that drains you of wellbeing while filling you up with a feeling of being productive, and by extension, a good person. Most of us are steeped in the whole “the more you do, the worthier you are” ethos, and we don’t even question the rightness or wrongness of it. It’s right when it feels right, and that can’t be all the time. Burnout happens when you try to run full-throttle in all your waking hours. Do you have a lot to do? Yes. Will it get done? Only if you give yourself permission and time to be relaxed and comfortable and contented. Read a book for pleasure. Take a walk in nature. Have a mani-pedi. Nap in a sunbeam! Give yourself permission to be on your own to-do list, because if you don’t, your busyness will burn you out. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

You know how good it feels when you fall in love, right? That dreamy, filmy, floating feeling that some people describe as butterflies, some say it’s like walking on air, and some say it’s the definition of euphoria. Movies, tv shows, TikTok reels all show us what love is supposed to look like. Stand by…I’m a rebel and might shock you with this one: Love isn’t a feeling…it’s a decision. No, that’s wrong – it’s a decision to feel the feeling. You have probably had the experience of thinking about someone you love – in that moment, you felt the feeling of love, right? You created the feeling with your thoughts, and since you did it then, you know you can do it whenever you want. That’s powerful! Deciding to feel love means you’re directing your brain to think the thoughts and release the hormones and endorphins that trigger those wonderful feelings of love. Here’s your to-do today – at least three times a day, for the rest of your life, decide to feel love, and see how great your life becomes! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Want to help someone feel heard and understood? A big part of active listening is agreement, especially when the other person is upset. You might truthfully agree with something they said, so that makes this step easy – just say “I agree with you on (whatever the topic is.)” Maybe you don’t agree – you can still use the words “I agree” and agree with a broader concept instead of how they’re currently perceiving things. Maybe you could say “I agree that it’s good for us to be talking about this.” Let them know that the conversation has been helpful to you and maybe even that you learned something. You might think they’re completely off base, and yet you can still truthfully say something like, “thank you for showing me how important (this topic) is to you – you’ve helped me a lot today.” They leave the conversation knowing that you’ve heard and understood them, and that’s good in every relationship. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Have you ever used the phrase “what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger” when you were up to your eyeballs in tasks and deadlines? Maybe you are someone who believes that you get more done by multitasking like a multi-armed octopus? You eat stress for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and feel like you thrive in your fast-paced life? Let’s talk about muscles for a minute – you probably know that muscles need to be worked in order to be strong, and that they have to be rested between workouts, right? Leg day, arm day, right? Maybe you know that overworking a muscle can cause a lot of damage, sometimes even permanent damage. It’s exactly the same with your body – flood it with stress hormones constantly and it’ll become damaged, sometimes permanently. You may not see or feel the damage, and still it can and will end you. Look for ways to build some down time into your workday every day – it’s the best way to ensure you’ll make it to tomorrow. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Who is your favorite famous genius? Albert Einstein? Marie Curie? Nikola Tesla? Just what is “genius” anyway? Genius can be a major, soaring intelligence, and it can also be brilliance on a particular subject. Einstein quantified theoretical physics, Curie discovered radioactivity, Tesla pioneered electrical systems in use today. All were probably geniuses by either definition, and all were very focused on their specific field. All genius really is is attention to a subject, which means that you can be a genius, too.  Find something that lights your fire and then focus on it until you’re really good at it. Once you’re really good at it, find new ways to look at it, new uses for it, or maybe an entirely new paradigm that includes it. When you do that, you step into your own genius. You genius, you! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing