Tiny Bites of Wagaliciousness

Do you work with someone who often reminds you of your limitations? Or maybe they shine a spotlight on your shortcomings or mistakes? How do you feel about yourself when they’re around? Timid…like an imposter … like your self-confidence suddenly all leaked out of you? They know what you’re capable of and they feel threatened. When someone who lacks the confidence to succeed on their own merits feels threatened, they look for a target to take down. When you’re the target, you should feel more self-confident, not less – this person sees your potential, knows your star is brighter than theirs, and so is trying to make themselves look better by making you look bad. When you give weight to their snarky words – when you take them to heart instead of brushing them off – you play right into their needy little hands. You stoke the flame of their jealousy. How to put the fire out? Ignore them. Life’s too short to cater to the shortcomings of others. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

When was the last time you chose how to feel? We usually just feel how we feel and deal with it, and that’s not how you have to live your feelings. You can choose them, just like you choose your outfit each day. In our everyday language we often say things like, “she’s so rude – she makes me so mad!” Think about it, though – is she the one making you mad, really? No – it’s your perception of her actions that’s triggering the anger. This is really great news, because it means that if it’s your perception driving your feelings, you can just change your perception. In this example, is she really rude, or could it be possible that she’s clueless? Maybe she’s socially clumsy. Maybe she was raised by coyotes and doesn’t know how to behave in polite company. Whatever story you make up in your head, make that what you perceive her to be. Practice that story about her instead of the “she’s so rude” story. Your job is to feel good as much as you can – help yourself by changing the way you feel and talk about things and people. Words matter – entertain yourself with yours. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

I experimented in my kitchen today. I had some wraps that tasted good but had a weird texture, some veggies that were about to go around the corner, some red sauce from my favorite Italian restaurant, cottage cheese, eggs, and spices. I created a veggie lasagna that is soooo good I want to eat it for the rest of my life. I’ll never be able to recreate this wonderful concoction because I made it up and didn’t write it down. Does that kind of thing ever happen to you – you get creative, make something you are wildly excited about, and then you realize you can’t ever make it again? How does that make you feel? Many people would feel disappointed that they’ll never make it again. Many people would kick themselves for not taking notes. Can you be one of the one, not the many? Can you be excited at your abilities and eager to see what you create next? Can you get playful with the possibilities? Can you celebrate your freedom and your outside-the-box thinking? When you learn to celebrate in yourself what others might think of as a failure, you unleash your creativity in a huge way! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

You accidentally ran a red light and no fiery car crash occurred. Your computer crashed in the middle of creating a big project and when you booted back up, the project was all there. You tripped on the sidewalk, yet you didn’t fall and break any bones. What’s the big deal, you may ask? Those are things that happen in our lives often enough that we take them for granted. Don’t.   Believe in miracles. What if each and every of those mundane things was a miracle in your life? Because you know it could have gone the other way – you could have tripped and fallen and broken a bone. Your data could have been so corrupted after the computer crash that you had to start your major project all over again. And you could have died in a fiery car crash when you ran that red light. I don’t want you to focus on what COULD have happened…I want you to start focusing on what did happen. You are safe. You are lucky. Start saying and believing that you have a guardian angel or that things always work out for you. Notice the little miracles that happen in your life every day, and use them to feel like the walking miracle that you are. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Has anyone ever said to you, “you think you’re so much better than anyone else!” You might have heard that as a child, because it’s the kind of thing for one child to say to another. Childish! At the time, you felt the sting of criticism and of feeling misunderstood, because the truth is, many if not most of us feel more like an imposter than anyyone’s superior. I want you to think about being better – not better than others, though, because it’s not about being better than anyone else, it’s about being better than who you were yesterday. So many people live life like it’s a book with only one page – they get up, do the same things, feel the same feelings, and then go back to bed, the same way they always do. Live life like it’s a huge buffet on a glamorous cruise ship - filled to overflowing with anything you could ever want. There’s no end the possibilities when you’re looking for them with anticipation. There’s no end to the opportunities when you’re open to them. There’s no end to you becoming who you dream of being, when you understand that every single day is your chance to shine. Take it! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

When you were 7 years old, what did you think your grown-up life would be like? How about when you were 17? How about now…how is your “real life” compared to what your younger self thought it would be? And how do you feel about how different your current reality is to where you thought you’d be? I remember being 29, married, and buying my first home. I thought that was my life. Fast-forward to now, and my life is NOTHING like it was back then, and old dreams from childhood are coming true. This change in perspective has probably happened to you, too. As you move through the different chapters of your life, remember your childhood dreams – what did you want then that you may still want now? It is never too late to be who you want to be. Give yourself permission to explore old dreams and new challenges. Life is meant to be explored and lived, so give yourself permission to live it! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Have you ever told someone what you like about them? Maybe the roles have been reversed, and it was one of your friends telling you what they admired about you? It does feel good to recognize and report on the excellence of a friend or family member or co-worker. It literally creates a feeling of community, because while you’re participating in the conversation, your brain is giving you a shot of oxytocin, the hormone that makes us feel more connected to each other. You smile, the person you’re complimenting smiles, and voila – they get a dose of oxytocin, too! Here’s a tip - don’t just compliment people to their face, do it behind their back, too. When you do that, you spread your community-building out even further, plus you help others recognize the excellence in the people they’re surrounded by. This one simple act will do more to foster great relationships than nearly anything else you’ll try. Try it, and try to remember to do it as often as possible. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

If you never ask, you’ll never get. This is great advice, and yet it flies in the face of what many, if not most of us, were taught. If you’d like to get more, learn to ask more, and learn to stay comfortable in your skin ask you do. Asking is a leadership skill. Asking is powerful. Asking is a display of confidence. You can learn to ask in your own authentic way. If you’re a curious person, ask for what you want from your sense of curiosity. If you’re a playful person, ask for what you want playfully. If you’re a shy person, ask for what you want in a shy way. There’s no one right way to ask for what you want, and it’s really not true that you’ll never get what you want if you don’t ask for it. It is probably true that it’ll take longer to get what you want if you never ask for it. Your call – consider whether and how you ask for what you want now, and practice asking in your own unique way. Start small, and as your confidence grows, ask more audaciously. It’s only questions – go ahead and ask them! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you ever feel like you’re living in fear? Fear is normal – it’s a built-in survival trait, yet it can also make you feel paralyzed and unable to move forward. Fear can sharpen your awareness, yet it can also keep you in a constant state of stress or anxiety. Fear can spur you to step out of your comfort zone, yet it can also cause you to make irrational decisions. Fear can increase your empathy towards others in a similar situation, yet fear can stop you from reaching your full potential. Let me jump to the most obvious example - fear of dying doesn’t stop death, it stops life. When you are so fearful that your decisions are predicated on what you shouldn’t do or think or be or have, you might as well be dead, because you’re blocking your own progress and growth. When you feel fear, ask yourself what you’re really afraid of? At the base of most peoples’ fear is one of these seven things: physical harm, the unknown, loss, lack of control, rejection, failure, and physical or emotional pain. Decide which one it is, then explore your options. Find the positive in your feelings of fear and take the path that lets you learn, grow, and feel less fearful. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you ever look back on a chapter of your life – maybe a career decision, maybe a relationship, maybe some other major life event – and feel disappointed in yourself or your choices? Most of us do that from time to time, and it doesn’t usually feel very good when we do it. That’s because what we’re actually doing is driving down our own sense of self-worth. You don’t want to do that, do you? Time to learn to notice your thoughts and quickly reframe them. Let’s pretend you worked at a job or career that wasn’t a good fit, and now you’re feeling like you wasted your time when you should have been doing something different. Did you really waste time or did you learn valuable lessons? When you went into that job or career, chances are you were excited and happy, right? Along the way, you grew to understand that the reality of the job was different than what you’d imagined or hoped for, so you made a change. That’s not a waste of time – that’s personal growth. Please stop kicking yourself for doing a wonderful thing – learning and growing. Celebrate the not-optimal chapters the same way you celebrate the wonderful ones. They’re all part of who you are. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Can you learn to become unoffendable? I’m not even sure that’s a word, so just go with me here. Sometimes our feelings are very close to the surface and it’s easy feel offended or hurt. It’s good to be in touch with your feelings, and sometimes not so good to be driven by them. Become unoffendable. When someone says something that is hurtful, take a breath before you reply, and in that pause, find a light response. If they said, “wow, that top makes you look fat,” your reply might be, “and way more fun, too, right?” Whatever you say, smile and mean it, and then change the subject. If they circle back to their statement, change the subject. If they get frustrated and repeat it again, maybe you could say – while still smiling and meaning it – “you’d be a lot more fun if you had a top like this, too!” Then seriously change the subject. And if they’re still trying to get your goat, time to put that relationship on ice. “Gotta go…I’m on the hunt for fun!” And then go. Still smiling and meaning it. The best revenge is no revenge – just own your own feelings and feel the ones you want to feel. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Everyone has that one friend – the one who defends their position or belief vociferously. I love that word, don’t you? They’re loud and persistent and unswayable in their belief and they don’t care who they have to shout down to make the point that they’re right. People think that person is soooo confident. And people are wrong. The loudest person in the room isn’t the most confident. Often the loudest person in the room is afraid, so they go on the offensive instead of having to defend their position. Often the loudest person in the room has been bullied, so they’ve learned bully behavior as a defensive mechanism. Often the loudest person in the room is actually afraid of what’s being discussed, so they want to get it out and get it over with. Have compassion for the loudest person in the room. And maybe learn to smoothly and confidently defuse the conversation and change the subject. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Did someone ever go through a door in front of you and let it close instead of holding it for you? Did someone ever cut you off in traffic? Did someone ever stand you up instead of showing up as planned? How did you feel when any of these things happened? How do you feel about them now? Do memories of times like these take you right back to the irritation or anger you felt? That’s on you, then. Yes, I said it – that’s on you. People are people – fallible, and occasionally intentionally rude. It’s normal for you to feel upset in the moment, but when you dredge up old slights and go right back to those negative feelings you had at the time, you’re choosing to pick the scab off an old wound. You can do better, and for your own peace of mind, you must do better. Learn to accept an apology you never got and move on. The event is over – if it makes you feel bad to think about it, don’t. Find something wonderful to think or daydream about – that’s so much more fun! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Maybe you’ve been present when this common and incredibly childish behavior showed up: one person belittling another for how they look, sound, or something they did. It’s an easy mistake to make, and yet it’s probably going to hurt feelings, and it only serves to make the one who spoke up look petty at best and like a mean bully at worst. You will never make yourself look good by making someone else look bad. I did something clumsy, ended up with an injury, and the friend taking me to urgent care said, “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about moving like that.” I know this person well, including knowing that she had a difficult relationship with her mom, so in my mind it was her mother coming out of her mouth, not her. If you’re ever tempted to point out the error of someone’s ways in the midst of a painful episode, remember this: you will never make yourself look good by making someone else look bad, plus you might just damage the relationship so badly that it’s not fixable. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

The other day my friend Belinda Todd tossed out a precious gem as if it were a used tissue. Belinda, a few other women friends and I were talking about how we limit ourselves by what we believe. Belinda is a woman who goes for what she wants. When we all compared our feelings about trying new things, she simply said, “My curiosity is stronger than my fear.” Wow. How can we live that way, too? By asking ourselves questions when we feel fear. That means you have to notice how you’re feeling, which is a great habit to develop if you don’t already practice noticing your feelings. When it’s fear or anxiety, ask yourself what the source of the fear is, and then ask yourself why you’re feeling fear. Is it fear of the unknown? Is it fear of failure? Is it fear for some other reason? Then, get curious – what can you learn to help you not be afraid? Ask yourself how it will feel to walk through your fear as you follow your curiosity. Be like my friend Belinda – let your curiosity be stronger than your fear. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

When was the last time you got white-hot angry? Think about the actions you took while you were upset – were they good ones? Did you regret them later? Maybe even need to apologize to someone for what you did while mad? I know I have! I’ve written a hot email and sent it, later wishing I hadn’t. When we’re very emotional, what we feel like doing and saying feels very righteous and justified. In that moment. Later, when you’ve had a chance to think about things more clearly, you still might need to have your say, and chances are you’ll be far more careful of the other person’s feelings. Let me share something with you that I learned the hard way: if you don’t control your emotions, your emotions will control you. And they don’t make good decisions. Feel your feelings. Process your feelings. Then, if appropriate, act on your feelings from your calm, cool, adult self. Doesn’t that feel better? It works better, too! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Are you familiar with the old Paul Simon song, Obvious Child? In this song about moving towards the end of life, he sings, “Why deny the obvious, child.” Yet we all do, right? Things change and we rail against the change. New things enter our lives and we gripe and grumble as we learn to work yet another new piece of software or technology. It’s normal and very human to value and want to hold on to the status quo, and it’s also true that nothing ever stays the same. Like Paul Simon, can you embrace the inevitable? Why deny the obvious, child? Why deny the inevitable new? The more you can roll with whatever life rolls at you, the easier and more fun your life can be. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing PPSS…here’s the official video for Obvious Child on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HKNAhAxMAk

What decade of life are you in? I remember being in my teens and 20’s, thinking I had life all figured out and that the old people were so out of touch. In my 30’s, it was becoming abundantly clear that some of the things I thought were true weren’t exactly as I’d thought they were. Maybe you’ve had some of those perspective shifts as you’ve gotten older too? The one thing I know now that I wish I knew in my 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s is this: my perspective is uniquely mine, and your perspective is uniquely yours. Yours is as valid and true for you as mine is for me. Even if we disagree, totally and completely, you’re right and so am I. Trying to convince others that your point of view is the one true one and everyone else is mistaken is futile. Everyone believes their own point of view…let them. When you can do that, you honor the people in your life, you honor yourself, and you strip nearly all the drama from your life. And that’s a fabulous recipe for happiness and success! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

What are you afraid of? Really, seriously, nearly phobically afraid of? For most of my life, it’s been spiders, and woe be unto any that venture inside my house. About half of the human population feels anxious about snakes, with a third being really, seriously, nearly phobically afraid of them. This fear causes the death of many harmless, beneficial snakes as people act out their “the only good snake is a dead snake” ignorance. As I was studying how our brains work, I challenged my fear of spiders, deciding to learn more about them. I discovered this: the cure for fear is fascination. You don’t have to learn to love the object of your fear, just be open to learning about whatever it is. When you understand more, your fear eases. And when you’re not so fearful, your instincts will be more “live and let live” than “kill, kill, kill.” And “live and let live” leads to a happier, more peaceful you.  PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

The other day I was tired and hot and short of time. I’d just finished back-to-back to back training classes, had to get the dogs home and fed, myself cleaned up and changed into something more presentable, and then get out the door for a dinner meeting. As I put the car in gear with the AC on high, I stopped. And took a breath. I followed the advice I give you and nearly everyone I work with – to quickly improve your outlook and your mood, close your eyes and take three long, slow, deep breaths. Ahhhhh…that did feel so much better. As I drove home, something miraculous happened – the lights were green. There are 37 traffic lights between the training building and my home. They weren’t all green – a couple of them stopped me, but the first 5 or 6 were green, which got my attention and triggered my playful side. Suddenly I was in the middle of a game – how many lights in a row will be green? Next time you’re tired and hot and short of time and maybe even patience, close your eyes, take three long, slow, deep breaths, and find something positive and fun to focus on. I promise you’ll feel better fast! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

The last time you needed someone to help you, who did you call? How did they react? How about the time before that – was it the same person you reached out to? Were they there for you that time, too? Now think about what they could have been doing instead of coming to your aid. When you look at it objectively, you KNOW they weren’t just standing by, poised and ready to assist you if and when you needed them. When someone helps you, they’ve given up some of their time, changed their plans, and chose you over whatever else they had going on in their own life. Remember that – if you think maybe you didn’t thank them appropriately in that moment, it’s never too late to recognize their “above and beyond” friendship. Who do you need to thank today? PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

When someone is staring at you, what’s your knee-jerk reaction? Do you assume they’re judging you and their thoughts aren’t very flattering? Do you assume that they’re some sort of weirdo with an unbalanced mind? Maybe you feel fear of what they might be planning to do to you? Did you notice that all of those reactions, while typical, focus on negativity? Negativity about the person, because you’re assuming they’re thinking badly about you. Negativity about yourself, because you’re assuming a less-than or a victimhood role. Can you stop those thoughts and think better ones? What if they’re admiring your pretty skin? What if they are enjoying being in your good energy? Maybe they’re taking mental notes of how to be as awesome as you. No one else can think inside your head – if your thoughts don’t feel good, make a game of making them sound and feel better! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

This strong statement was part of a meme I saw today: “Apology accepted, access denied.” Wow…talk about a powerful sentence in just four words! Long ago I had a boyfriend who wasn’t a great boyfriend. When I’d finally had enough and broke it off, he tried everything – even apologizing – to get back in my good graces. Several of my girlfriends reminded me of all his good aspects – great looking, great job and financial prospects, etc. – and I almost caved. Almost. Maybe you’ve had a situation like that too? Or maybe you will one day. Yes, there is good in everyone, and yes, it is good to acknowledge that. And yes, you can see the good in someone without letting them be up close and personal in your life. Accept the apology because that’s good for you, and deny access because that’s even better! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Don’t answer this question out loud – how do you feel when someone wins something? It might be something you’ve dreamed of having, or something you wish you could have, or even something you thought you’d get, not that other person! Whether it’s a free t-shirt at the fair, that cute guy in accounting, or the Powerball jackpot, jealousy can pop up quickly when you aren’t the one who ended up with the prize. Jealousy is simply insecurity in a green outfit, so if you don’t want to feel or act or be seen as an insecure person, practice feeling genuinely happy when you see someone else winning. You can even practice this out loud – when you see someone who has a great smile or purse or whatever, as you pass them, smile and say “you’re winning at …” and say the great thing you noticed. Root for other people all the time and pretty soon the insecurity known as jealousy will no longer be part of your life. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

You know how people say “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger?” There’s that one caveat - you have to live through the not-optimal somehow to get to the “stronger” part. In the middle of a major life upheaval, it can be tough to keep your life and your feelings balanced. Give yourself permission to feel off-balance as the situation unfolds. You can make any life change easier to get through by adjusting your focus and your expectations. Instead of expecting things to work out the way you want them to, expect that you can handle whatever happens along the way. Instead of focusing on the problem all the time, focus on the help and helpers surrounding you through the problem. Know that your friends and family will help as much as they can, and don’t expect them to do more than they do. Know that you can handle it – whatever IT is – and that you will be stronger and more resilient when this is all behind you. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you keep tight reins on yourself for fear of looking like a fool, or being judged by others and found lacking? I stayed in a nice hotel recently and was snacked on by some bugs who’d taken up residence in the bed. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the resulting welts were large and angry red, mostly on my legs and feet. Did I mention it’s summer in the south, with record high temperatures? I had to run errands…shorts were the sensible option…and I didn’t want people staring and wondering and judging. And then I laughed at myself – those thoughts and feelings were old programming from childhood, and not something that needed to curb my freedom now. Do you have those kinds of mental dilemmas too? Notice when they crop up in your life and remind yourself that what other people think of you is none of your business. Then go do what you want to do. It's your life – live it! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Watch the words your brain uses to describe you, your feelings, and your actions – are they judgmental?  Words are simply words – it’s the meaning we attach to them that matters. When you drop something, does your brain automatically call you clumsy? When you catch sight of yourself in a window or mirror, does your brain call you fat or dumpy or ugly? Do you hear your brain calling you egotistical like it’s a bad thing? If your brain says things to you that you would NEVER say to someone else, let’s put the brakes on your brain’s bullying ways. When you hear your brain making derogatory comments about you, laugh at it and then affirm something positive you believe about yourself. For instance, when your brain says you’re clumsy, laugh and say, “I can walk and talk and my body can do amazing things!” Do this every time you catch your brain verbally bullying you, and you’ll take control of that bully once and for all! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you think of yourself as open-minded? Most people do, and yet most people have at least a couple of “absolutely not!” beliefs. Those are beliefs that separate you from at least part of the human population. It used to be common for men to believe that women were dumber and more emotional than men. It used to be common for people to believe that melanin-enhanced people were less smart or capable or motivated. It used to be common for people to believe that animals don’t feel emotions, yet everyone who’s ever lived with a pet knows that’s not true. If you have beliefs that separate you from others, then you may not be as open-minded as you think. How do you know which closed-minded beliefs you might be harboring? Ask yourself the question, “would I ever …..” and fill in the blank. Maybe it’s “would I ever vote Republican?” If the answer is “absolutely not!” then you’re closed-minded on the topic of partisan politics. Ask yourself about the beliefs you hold most dear, and answer yourself honestly. The more open-minded you can allow yourself to be, the more you’re open to learning from and enjoying the people and experiences life has for you. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Some people go along to get along. Some people choose their words carefully, trying not to rock the boat. Some people choose not to voice their opinions for fear of alienating friends or loved ones. When it’s done occasionally, none of these are bad choices. When it’s a way of life, it’s a recipe for a meltdown. Instead of getting a small confrontation over with, a million small confrontations with the same person pile up until an explosion of frustration and anger happens. Instead of saying what you mean clearly and firmly, a boundary remains unset until a person trespasses once too often, sparking an uprising that surprises them. If this sounds like you or someone you know, listen up – this is a very unfair way to treat people you care about, yet it’s commonly thought of as “polite.” Screw polite – you have as much right to your feelings, words, and opinions as anyone else, and when you hold them in until you explode, you hurt the relationship in ways that may not be fixable. This kind of “politeness” can be tough to change – begin today to express your feelings, thoughts, and needs. Start small, build your confidence, and learn to stand up for yourself. If you don’t do it, who will? PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Is there a piece of your life that you criticize a lot? Maybe you don’t love where you live, or the car you drive, or the body that carries your spirit around. For a long time I didn’t wear shorts, no matter how hot the weather. My skin is ultra pale and couldn’t manage to tan if my life depended on it. I felt like I’d be judged for those bright-white sticks stuck to the bottom of my body, and that people would laugh at me or feel sorry for me or whatever. One day a dear friend said, “when was the last time you judged someone on their looks?” The question caught me by surprise – I work hard not to judge a book by its cover or a person by their appearance. “Why then,” she asked, “do you think everyone else is meaner than you?” That’s my question for you today. Think about the pieces of your life or yourself that you criticize a lot and explore whether that criticism is valid or just plain mean. Be nicer to yourself and stop letting negativity rule your choices! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Quick…how is your confidence level right now? Most people can’t answer that question very positively. Most people second-guess themselves, feel like they’re not up to whatever challenge is in front of them at the moment, and quite frankly feel like an imposter a lot of the time. Did I just describe you? It’s OK…I described me some of the time, too. Our brains keep a running tally of the times we got it wrong, the things we’re afraid of, and the ways we fall short by comparison with others. Meanwhile, there are people in our lives and on the socials look at us, how our lives are unfolding, what we do and say, and they’re in awe of who we are and what we do. You are setting an example for so many people in your life and you’ll never know it unless one day they tell you that you inspired them when they were at a low point. We all are inspiring others, just as we’re inspired by our own heroes. Be your own hero – when you are feeling “less than” give yourself a pep talk. Remind yourself that other people admire you, and they are not wrong! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you have days now and then where you just feel blah? Like you can’t get motivated to do anything at all, let alone the things you have to do or even want to do. Those feelings happen to us all from time to time, especially at points in our lives following a loss of some sort. Grief can make you feel limp. Physical pain can make you feel limp. Comparing yourself with others can make you feel limp. How to get the limpness out and the spark of life back in? Learn something. Anything. It doesn’t matter what you learn, just learn how to do something. Do you have a cucumber, an onion, and some vinegar in your kitchen? Watch videos on how to make refrigerator pickles. Do you have some scrap lumber in the garage? Look up designs for making cute, functional birdhouses. When you harness movement with learning like you do when making a recipe or a birdhouse, you tap into the parts of your brain that help you focus intently. Once you point your focus at something, that limp, blah feeling goes away. So, what will you learn today? PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you ever look back on your life and cringe at who you were then? I don’t mean your style of hair, makeup or clothing, I mean who YOU were? “I was so naïve then” or “how could I have been so stupid” or “why didn’t I appreciate them more?” It’s very common to reflect on our lives and decide that we weren’t a terribly good person, and before you take yourself down that pathway of self-flagellation ever again, consider this: how could you be who you are now if you weren’t who you were then? When you make a relationship mistake, you know more clearly the traits and behaviors you want in a partner. When you make a career mistake, you learn more about what you will and won’t trade for your precious time. When you make a hairstyle mistake, it’s just hair – it grows. Give yourself the same grace you give your hair – you’ll grow, too, and you’ll keep blossoming into the wonderful person you’re meant to be. Stop beating yourself up – it’ll just slow your progress. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Oh, don’t you hate to make a mistake? It’s so embarrassing. It’s so confidence-shaking. It’s so tempting to try to make it look like it was someone else’s fault, not yours. Some people are better at that than others – have you ever worked with someone who never took the blame for anything? Whatever happened, it was always someone else’s fault. Even if they had to cook up an elaborate story to make it make sense that it was someone else's fault, that’s what they did. They probably weren’t the most popular person in the office, and they certainly weren’t the most valuable and trusted team member, either. It’s really hard to grow in your knowledge and wisdom if you never learn from your mistakes. True emotional intelligence comes from resisting the temptation to place blame, then from owning your mistakes, analyzing what went wrong, and doing better next time the circumstances are similar. That’s the makings of the most valuable and trusted team member! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you work on a team where rumors fly? That happens in a lot of workplaces where communication and leadership are lacking. Have you ever been the focus of the rumor mill? It doesn’t feel very good, does it? Maybe you felt like you should defend yourself, or perhaps you went to the person spreading the misinformation to get them to understand what you really meant. No matter what you do, it’s never enough, though, is it? That’s because it’s not about the information, it’s about the attention the person spreading the rumors craves. Stirring the puddin’…gossiping…running off at the mouth – whatever you call it, at it’s root, it’s attention-seeking behavior. The gossiper craves the attention they get through spreading information – any information, so if you give the rumors any of your attention, you’re playing right into the hands of the rumor-monger. Stay above the fray. Don’t defend yourself and don’t explain yourself. None of this is about you, so you can safely stay out of it. Chances are, your peers and leaders know the truth anyway. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you have a big problem to solve and you’re feeling stumped? It can feel overwhelming to try to decide which solution is the right one to solve a specific issue in your life. The first question to ask is, “is this truly my problem to solve?” If not, let it go. Help the person with the problem if you can and if it feels like your help is welcome and needed, and resist the temptation to solve it for them. If the big problem passes that test – in other words, if you answered “yes” that it really is your problem, then look around at all the problems you’ve already solved. You solve problems all the time. Are you drinking from a clean container? Are you wearing clothes that are clean, fit you well, and go together? (psst…if you work from home you can pass on that last question!) Look at your current car – remember when your last car was having problems, and you solved that by buying a new car? You’ve solved problems before and you’ll solve this one, too. Take a breath, take a walk, and let your innate problem-solving skills work on it while you take care of other things. The right solution WILL come to you! It always does. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Does your to-do list make you want to give up before you even start? Many of us have crazy-busy lives with calendars that look like a Tetris game, and when that happens it can seem like your life is running you instead of you running your life. That can feel very overwhelming, and it will take a week or two, depending on how far out you’re scheduled, to regain control of your tasks. This one simple habit will help to remind you to prioritize appropriately: at the end of each day, reflect on what you’ve said “yes” to. Did you say “yes” to things that feel heavy or things that feel light? Did you say “yes” to tasks that take time you didn’t have to give? Did you say “yes” to others when you should have been saying “yes” to you? Keep a list of the things you said “yes” to that perhaps you could have said “no” to. When you see how much time those unnecessary “yes” tasks eat up, take back that time with one simple word: “no.” PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

There’s a myth in our culture about closure. People say things like, “he didn’t give me a chance to find closure” or “how can I cope without closure” or even “now I’ll never get closure.” The myth is that closure has to come from outside of you, and the truth is that closure is a decision you make. Closure has nothing to do with what anyone else says or does – you decide when you’re ready to move on, based on where you are in the grief process. Whether you’re grieving the loss of a job, a friend, a loved one, or a potted plant you’ve had since high school, losses don’t feel good. Losses create challenges that can be both mental and physical, and dealing with those challenges is how to gain closure. Closure isn’t a one-time event, it’s a process of accepting, adjusting, and adapting to a new rhythm of life. When you’re focused on the future and moving in that direction, closure will come to you a little bit more each day. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Have you ever cried over a lost job or a lost friend or a lost love? Most of us have, and it’s not a pretty cry, is it? It feels like we’re trying to water a dead plant back to life with our tears. Maybe you cried for a day, or a week, or a month, and maybe you’re still crying. When the tears ended and your life resumed, what was the dominant feeling? If it was relief or calm or even inner peace, you didn’t lose anything, you won. Because most of us want to foster connection and closeness, we often back-burner things that are meaningful to us. We decide it’s ok to work longer hours and not spend as much time with friends. We decide that this friend needs us so we pour into them at the expense of our own self-care. We put aside a hobby that gets in the way of our romantic relationship. When we stop putting our needs in a secondary position, the feelings of relief can be a pleasant surprise. Let them be a wake-up call – your needs matter. Remind yourself as you start the next chapter that you are at least as important to you as that job or friend or lover. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Did you look at someone and smile today? Did you hold the door for someone? Did you send birthday wishes on your favorite social media channel, or a birthday text or email or card? Did you know you light up someone’s day when you do something like that? People long to be seen, and  when that happens, the person feels it and gets a hit of dopamine from their brain. They instantly feel a connection with you, and since we’re community-craving creatures, connection feels comforting. Here’s a little secret – when you make eye contact while doing something nice for another person, you get a hit of dopamine, too! If you’re not able to make eye contact – maybe you’re using social media, text, email, or the postal service, think about the person you’re communicating with and think about how what you’re about to send will make them smile. When you can conjure the feeling they’re likely to feel when they hear from you, you’ll get a hit of dopamine, too. Want to feel good? Make someone else feel good & watch what happens! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

The other day I was nearly swamped by a wave of emotions when the “first dance” song from my wedding 38 years ago came on the radio. It shocked me to get all those feels – the marriage lasted 30 years, the breakup happened 8 years ago and I rarely think about the wasband, which is why I was so shocked to feel all those emotions. Has something like that ever happened to you? You hear a song and suddenly feelings you haven’t felt in years well up? It’s not the song – it’s the memories the song evokes and the parts of the brain that fire up when the song plays. A Rockefeller University study found that fragments of memory are stored in the brain’s prefrontal lobe, and when a fragment shows up in the environment, the brain pulls out everything it can find about that event from the hippocampus, along with the feelings associated with the event. Next time that happens to you, treat it like a non-event – observe your brain working the way it’s supposed to and then happily go on with your day. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

We’ve talked about change on this podcast before. How change is constant, how it can be your enemy or your ally, and how that’s all up to you. Have you ever thought about your life next year and how it can be completely different than it is now? You could meet the love of your life and be in the throes of wedding planning. You could get a great job offer from a headhunter and be living in a different part of the country or the world. You could come into a large sum of money and finally feel as free as you’ve dreamed of being. These are examples of big changes that can and do happen to people every day. Are you a person? Then they could happen to you, too. Think about the changes happening around you and to you – could they be the harbingers of your dreams? Will you invite them to be? PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeingaction

Do you cringe when you read the words “trigger warning”? Did that question just trigger you? Not because you fear you’re about to be triggered, but maybe because some people feel they need or deserve the warnings? Trigger warnings can be useful when used appropriately, especially in mental health environments or before the broadcast of potentially disturbing images or descriptions. Trigger warnings can used indiscriminately have a chilling effect of free speech and a person’s willingness or even ability to learn. When you constantly expect the world to shape itself to your needs, you’re constantly on alert to the ways that it doesn’t. You can’t control what happens around you – you can decide not to be threatened or minimized by those events. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Were you taught to hide your feelings? The people who raised you may not have meant to send a message of “suck it up, Buttercup” to you, and yet in subtle ways many of us received that message early and often. “Big girls don’t cry”… “oh, grow up and quit whining” … “life’s not fair, so get over it!” Phrases like that teach children to hide how they really feel. Sure, it’s more convenient for the grown-ups to not have to deal with the problems of their children, and yet they saddle their children with the impression that their emotional needs don’t matter and by extension, neither do they. People-pleasers are born in just this way, as are people who feel empty or angry all the time. If no one has told you, your feelings matter, and when you share them with others, you start to be seen and heard as your true self. Feelings are our superpower. Emotions are our tools. Vulnerability is our authenticity. Learn to feel, own, and trust yours. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Quick – take inventory of your friends. The “in real life” ones, not the ones on social media. This is easier if you make some lists. Make three columns on a page, label the first one “true blue” the second one “baby blue” and the third one "stormy blue.” Now, start thinking about the friends you spend time with most often. That time could be talking on the phone, zooming with them, working or playing with them, or just hanging out with them. Think about each, one at a time, and write their name in one of the columns – how do you feel when you’re with them? True blue = your ride or die friends. Baby blue = good friends, but maybe not middle-of-the-night-emergency friends. Stormy blue = the ones you like and don’t feel like you can count on. From this day forward, focus your free time on the true blue friends – the ones who warm your heart and help you feel good about yourself. Friendships are like bank accounts – it’s good to know that your investments of your time and heart are safe. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Are you living or just existing? Are you just trying to get through each day, ready to lose yourself in the oblivion of sleep? When the alarm goes off, do you hit “snooze” as many times as you can before you absolutely must get up? Why? Have you really given thought to why you want to linger in sleep instead of getting up and greeting the day? One of the symptoms of depression is sleeping more than normal. If repeatedly snoozing the alarm is a new habit, it could be a sign that you should talk to a trusted friend or to your doctor. If you’ve been avoiding the day for years, why? Did you forget how to have fun? Did you forget to enjoy your life? Are you so busy treading water that you’ve given up trying to swim? Stop snoozing and add fun, enjoyment, and dive into your life! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you lead through fear or lead through trust? Think carefully – do the members of your team feel comfortable enough with you to disagree with you and discuss it with you? If not, you need to work on trusting your people so they’ll feel safe to trust you, too. When you lead through fear, people will do what you say. When you lead through trust, people will work hard to give you more than you’re asking for, take ownership of problems you didn’t even know about, and stay on your team and on your side. To build trust, walk your talk, be open and approachable, own your mistakes, ask for and implement suggestions from your team, and most of all, trust your team members. When you trust them, it opens the door for them to trust you more easily. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Quick – what are you worried about right now? Chances are, there’s something that’s nagging in the corner of your brain, like a petulant child who wants attention. Do you remember when you were a child, anticipating your birthday? You rolled it around and around inside your head, thinking about what kind of party there might be, what sort of cake you would have, and what your gifts would be. You focused on it and for a while, leading up to your birthday, those thoughts filled your brain. Fast-forward to the adulting part of your life, and the thoughts that roll around inside your head easily and often tend to be about things you’re worried about – money, children, career, whatever. The way your brain works, the more you think about something, the more your brain will dish up similar thoughts and the feelings that go along with them. Don’t want to feel worried? Tell that petulant child inside your head to sit down – you can handle whatever life throws at you WHEN it happens. You want to feel good now? Stop worrisome thoughts as soon as you notice them starting. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

When you look back on your life, what do you see? Do you tend to focus on the drama and the trauma, or do you tend to focus on the triumphs? The way human brains work, you probably find yourself thinking of times when you didn’t do the right thing or make the best choice. Especially in a situation where it felt like someone else was in control, we often second-guess ourselves at best and kick ourselves at worst for the choices we’ve made in the past. You did the best you could with the information and tools you had at hand at the time. Give yourself credit for that – you did the best you could possibly do when you made that decision. Now you know more and if the situation happened again, you would make a different decision. Give yourself credit for that, too. That’s evidence of growth, and growth is essential to your happiness and success. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Can you be satisfied in unsatisfying conditions? Really think about that before answering, because most people can’t. Letting the circumstances around you dictate your state of mind is so common that most people don’t even question the rightness or wrongness of it. Question it. Your mental wellbeing hinges on your ability to feel the way you choose to feel, regardless of what’s going on around you. Peace of mind is the mental state that allows for maximum creativity, productivity, and success, yet most of us allow our thoughts to sabotage our own peace of mind. On a flight last week there was turbulence, and you could feel the fear of everyone in the cabin, except for one child – he treated it like it was a fun roller-coaster ride. Can you find the fun, or at least the possibilities, when conditions around you are unsatisfying? Be like that little boy on the plane – shift your mindset and you shift your mental state. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing