Tiny Bites of Wagaliciousness

Is there someone in your life who loves to argue? Ugh…that’s deep in the no-fun zone. And have you noticed that this argumentative person just digs in their heels, or as a dear friend says, “puts on their donkey feet” the more you try to get them to see a different point of view? That’s something fairly common in argumentative people – they hold their beliefs so strongly that when presented with evidence to the contrary, they reject the evidence that doesn’t support their position. Scientists are still trying to discover the brain science behind what’s commonly called the backfire effect, or even if it really exists. You need a way to defuse the arguments, though, right? Here’s how – don’t challenge, question. Ask questions like, “can you tell me how that works?” and “that’s interesting – tell me how you learned that” – get curious instead of confrontational, and the argumentative person can’t argue – at least not with you! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you know someone who has a chronic medical condition, and it seems like that’s all they can talk about? And maybe this person is a dear friend and part of a long-standing group of friends, and when you’re all together, this one person goes on and on about their ailment? Pretty soon, everyone is annoyed and tired of offering suggestions, and exhausted by the medical play-by-play. The human thing would be to begin to exclude the person. That’s a normal reaction and isn’t the most caring one. If this truly is a dear friend, a more caring response is benign silence. This isn’t shunning – it’s letting the person talk until she realizes that it’s not a conversation anymore, it’s a soliloquy. The rest of the group is passively and silently attentive…no eye-rolling, no knowing glances to each other…just silently attentive. It won’t be long before the dear friend shortens the medical saga, and maybe eventually even eliminates it. Voila! Your friend is a better person and more fun to be around – it’s a win/win! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

When was the last time someone said to you, “the world is in a downward spiral” or words to that effect? It is so easy to believe that the world is going to Hades in a handbasket – mainstream media scours the world constantly for bad news, gets video of it, sets it to minor-key music to subtly alert your brain to danger, and broadcasts it incessantly, or at least until another disaster happens. What’s shared most widely on social media tends to be shocking, and yet there are layers and layers of goodness in your life, ready for you to notice them, focus on them, and appreciate them. There’s the friend who is purposefully pulling herself out of the grief of a loss by throwing herself into a major athletic pursuit. There’s the co-worker who sailed through chemo and is focused on achieving another goal before her mastectomy. There’s the man with Parkinson’s who is continuing to do the things he loves to do instead of sitting down and accepting his diagnosis. Next time someone tells you the world is terrible and getting worse, don’t focus on what they’re talking about – focus on the layers and layers of goodness in your own life. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you hear the phrase “all your power is now” and wonder what, exactly, it means? This Tiny Bite is for you. You literally can’t do anything at any other time than now. Sure, you can reminisce about the past. You can think of things you could have done differently or better, and yet you can’t change a single thing about what happened in the moments, days, and years before right now.   Think about when you’re reminiscing, remembering, and regretting…yep, right now. You can think about and plan about and dream about the future, and yet you can’t do a single thing in the future. Yes, there is power in planning, and think about when you’re planning…yep, right now. Your entire life is made of a series of nows. That’s all. Your brain focuses on the past and the future a lot, and if you want to find the fastest way to change your life for the better, help your brain focus on the now. That’s where all of your power is. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Are you the kind of person who saves things for special occasions? You were gifted a beautiful, expensive watch and it lives in the jewelry cabinet? You have your grandma’s china and only use it at the holidays? You have the car of your dreams and rent a car to go on road trips? Why do you do that? And I ask this, knowing that for years I did exactly the same thing. When you have something you love, let yourself feel the specialness of it every day. Wear your watch. Use your china. Drive your car. Use your “special” things the way they’re intended to be used – for their function, to decorate and beautify your life, and to bring you joy. Life is now. Life isn’t someday, life is now. Live it now like it’s the special occasion that it is. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Have you ever gotten out of bed and just wanted to crawl back in? Yeah, those days don’t feel very good. There are days where you feel like you could take on the whole world and sweet-talk them into getting along, and other days where you feel defeated before you even get your teeth brushed. Give yourself grace. Give yourself permission to not be Superwoman or Superman or SuperNonBinary. You’ll still show up, and you’ll still be as effective as possible under the circumstances, yet you probably won’t do your very best work because you don’t feel your very best. If you’ve only got 57% of your normal energy, and yet you take that 57% and apply it to your work that day, then you’ve literally done your very best that day. Don’t beat yourself up for being human – give yourself credit for showing up and bucking up on a tough day. The tough days teach you who you are - show up as strong as you can possibly be that day. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Have you ever stopped to think about how much you’ve changed throughout your life? Probably not, because we feel the continuity of our own being, not the changes we go through. You don’t have the same opinions about anything that you had when you were 8. You don’t have the same feelings about life that you did when you were 22. Your political views have probably changed, your taste in music and food has probably changed, and your face, body, and taste in clothing has undoubtedly changed. You change. You are change. And yet, you are the sum total of everyone you’ve ever been, and you’re constantly evolving into who you are becoming. As you live your day-to-day life, remember how flexible you’ve been in your life. That flexibility has allowed you to become who you are now. Allow yourself to be flexible as you become who you are meant to be, and celebrate whoever that person is as they unfold inside you. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

You are a loving, caring person. You fiercely protect those in your inner circle – family, close friends – and you’re there when they need you. Maybe you even relish the challenge of being the knight in shining armor for others. You see an underdog and your heart swells as you think of ways you can help them make their life better. There is nothing wrong with that. Those are admirable qualities that I hope your inner circle appreciates in you. The trouble starts when you go from helping and protecting to orchestrating. Repeat after me – “it’s not my job to save anyone.” It’s not your job to save someone, no matter how much you love them and want them to have a great life. It’s not your job to pave the way for them, no matter how much you love them. It’s your job to love them and emotionally support them while they learn to help and protect themselves. As we go through life, we learn what it means to stand up for ourselves – but only if we learn that it’s our job to stand up for ourselves. If you’re everyone’s crutches, they never learn to stand on their own two feet, and you get nothing but used and exhausted. Help. Protect. Don’t orchestrate. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Today let’s talk about possessions. No, I’m not going to extoll the virtues of a minimalist life because that would be hypocritical. I have collections of arctic art. Collections of seashells. Collections of rocks and paperweights and books and mid-century pottery. I own things that graced my grandma’s kitchen, my mother’s kitchen, and now my kitchen. My house is anything but minimalist, and yet it’s important to think about and talk about possessions. When you look at something or pick it up, does it make your heart sing? If it does, then it belongs in your life. If it doesn’t, then it needs to be set free to make someone else’s heart sing. So many of the things that I own – and maybe this is true for you, too – have stories that go back to my childhood. Yet sometimes, when I look at something, I realize that, while I love the story, I no longer feel the need to own the object. You’ll always have the story – no one can take that away from you and you can conjure the story even when the object is no longer part of your life. When something doesn’t make your heart sing anymore, you owe it to the object and to those before you who loved it, to find someone else to love it. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

What do you aspire to in your life? Chances are you’ve hit a bunch of goals as you’ve lived your life, and you still have things you want to do, and dreams you yearn to have come true. What do you do on a daily basis to enable your own goals? Think about it – if you had a project for work, you’d have a timeline, a deadline, and a plan to achieve both. Do you have those for your life aspirations? Most people don’t. Most people don’t prioritize their desires as highly as they do their work or volunteer goals. Here’s a question for you: do you want to limit your life or live your life? If you want to limit your life, keep doing it the way you’re doing it now…treating your goals and dreams as afterthoughts and your work goals as priorities. If you want to live your life, start treating your own goals and dreams as if they’re as important as your work goals. Because they are. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you have a family member, friend, or coworker who argues with your feelings? Think about that for a minute – they argue with your feelings. How rude is that? When you open up and tell them how you feel and they say something like, “well, I said that in the heat of the moment and you know I didn’t mean it, so why are you so mad?” that is called invalidation. They’re telling you that they don’t believe you have the right to feel the way you feel and you need to get over yourself. Play this out in your head – what would they do and say if the roles were reversed and you invalidated their feelings? You can bet they’d slap back at you like a cornered feral cat. And I bet you don’t behave anything like that, do you? How do I know? Because people who invalidate the feelings of others choose their victims carefully. This verbal bullying behavior is done to people who tend to be passive and who don’t set or enforce boundaries. Today, think about what you can say to that person who is in the habit of telling you how you should feel. Decide on something you can say, and practice it when you’re alone, as if you’re talking to them. Maybe something like, “I told you how I feel, and my feelings are true and real and are not up for debate.” If you can say that calmly and powerfully each time you’re invalidated, it won’t be long before the offender quits picking on you. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Are you having a rough day? Maybe it’s the kind of day that started out with a toothpaste drip on the last clean shirt in your closet. Maybe every light between home and work was red. Maybe it was pouring rain, you had to park in the uncovered part of the lot, and your umbrella is in the closet at home. Maybe your computer wouldn’t boot up, your desk chair lost a wheel, and someone swiped your coffee mug. That’s a no good very bad day, for sure. And yet, you woke up this morning. You had running water, transportation, some food, and a job to go to. Before you roll your eyes, stop – what I’m reminding you of isn’t “you’ve got it better than a lot of people so quit complaining.” What I’m reminding you of is to choose your focus. When your day starts off badly and you focus on what’s wrong, telling everyone the tales of your woes, you’re focused on the negatives. When you focus negatively, your brain is wired to point out more negativity to you. Even on a no good very bad day, if you can remember to focus positively and find whatever feels good to focus on, then your brain is wired to give you more positivity. This one tiny tweak is a huge way to turn around a no good very bad day, I promise! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

A friend said to me recently that for all her adult life, she’s been the buffer between people she loves and the things or people that upset them. That statement made Mom spring immediately to mind – she was often the buffer, too. She kept her children from being too rowdy when her husband had a migraine or was tired and cranky at the end of his workday. She kept her two sons from picking at each other. She kept her mom from making my brothers and me crazy when she visited, and she kept up correspondence when the military moved us all over the world, filtering the lives of five people into letters to her parents-in-law and her own family. I thought of my own marriage, and how I was the buffer between friends who wanted to do couple-y things and my anti-social husband. How I was the buffer between the wasband and my family, and sometimes even his. Think about your life…are you the buffer? How do you feel when you’re trying to keep the peace? And is it really your job? Do you want it to be? If not, time to set a boundary. I know I will, going forward. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Have you ever been told you’re soft-hearted, and the person saying it meant it as an insult? A lot of people believe that in order to succeed you must learn to be hard-hearted, maybe even a little bit ruthless. Those people are welcome to their opinion, and I believe they are wrong. Just as you can be angry without being mean and underhanded, just as you can be sad without wallowing in self-pity, you can feel caring and love in a situation where many people would feel defensive or vindictive. You don’t have to be “that person” – you know the type, that person who has to escalate the drama of a situation instead of simply understanding it and moving on. When you’re soft-hearted, you understand that people live different lives, have lived different experiences, and see the world differently. And it’s OK. Know what feels right and true to you, and when someone calls you soft-hearted like it’s a bad thing, simply say thank you and move on. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Someone you work with being passive aggressive? You know the drill…long silences, exaggerated eye rolls, and letting sarcasm drip from innocent-sounding words. Those are all clues that your co-worker wants you to know how they feel…they just don’t want to have to tell you. Most of the time, passive aggressive people don’t know how to calmly talk about their feelings because they’ve spent a lifetime of having their feelings invalidated by the people who raised them. Instead of getting angry at their passive aggressive behavior, and instead of trying to fight fire with fire, try to help them. You don’t have to diagnose or treat them, just try to give them space and grace. Instead of getting angry, get calm and curious, and be clear about how their behavior feels to you. “Wow, it feels like you’re frustrated with me, and what you just said to me stung. Did you mean to hurt my feelings or are you trying to get my attention?” Give them a question with only two possible answers, and if they try to go with choice #3, bring them back to your question. When you approach them with clear, caring questions, they’re more likely to open up honestly. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Today I want you to take inventory. At some point today, give yourself 30 minutes for this exercise. Give yourself permission to focus strictly on you – close your door, or go outside and away from people, or surround yourself with strangers who won’t interrupt you. Put yourself in the environment that sparks creative thinking, then focus on taking inventory of your strengths and what you’d like to improve. You can include your body, your habits, your ability to focus, your passions, your stumbling blocks – dump it all onto a notepad or in your journal. Take inventory of your hopes and dreams, take inventory of how your job makes you feel, how your relationships make you feel, and how you generally feel about yourself. Don’t judge what you’re writing, just write. Don’t judge what you’re thinking, just capture it all on paper. Then look at what you’ve written and draw circles around the pieces of you that you’re proud of or want more of. Use the words you’ve circled to create the best “you” as you move forward in life. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you wake up in the middle of the night, feeling like you’re in a panic? For a long time I woke up at 3:15 as if I’d just had a bad dream. Adrenaline was pumping and it would be two hours before I could even think of sleeping again. Sound familiar? Your sleep schedule could be the victim of your brain, just like mine was, and when your sleep is continually disrupted, so is your life and your health. The brain is diurnal, meaning it observes life in a twice-daily rhythm controlled by light. The brain’s internal clock signals parts of the body to do certain things at certain times of the day, things like digestion, hormone release, and deep sleep. When the diurnal rhythm is disrupted, so is your sleep. Understanding that it’s just your brain’s discombobulation causing the problem is the first step, because you can calm yourself when you wake up in a panic the middle of the night. Light therapy, used regularly, can reset your brain’s clock so you can sleep. It’s safe for most people – talk to your doctor to be sure it is for you, then get set to sleep better! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Is life a bowling ball and you feel like the pin? The ball just keeps knocking you down, time after time, and you’re standing there, taking it? That’s not a good way to feel, is it? After being knocked down so many times, it can feel futile to even stand back up again. It’s in those moments that you teach yourself who you are. You’ve overcome a lot to get to where you are right now, right? You’ve survived things that felt huge at the time, and now when you look back, you realize they weren’t that catastrophic. Maybe you can even see how the hard times helped you grow wiser and stronger. That’s you, developing self-confidence. That’s you, teaching yourself who you are. That’s you, becoming more resilient. That’s you, learning to be the one pin that bowling ball just can’t knock down. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Is there something you’re longing to do? I love to draw and paint and am not terribly good at either. Every now and then, something surprises me and turns out better than I thought it would. Most people have something they’d love to do and feel they’re not terribly good at. What’s yours? Do you pick it up and try it now and then, and how does it feel when you do it well? How does it feel when you don’t? I’ve been known to wad up page after page of my sketchbook in frustration, because the picture in my head isn’t showing up on the paper. If that happens to you, too, remember this: no one starts out as an expert. No one. When you want to be good at something, fuel the passion you have for it with patience and practice. When frustration sets in, walk away. Go back when your desire to try again is lighting your fire. You can do what you’re longing to do – be OK with being not-great until you become great, because you will. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Especially in a presidential election year, it’s very apparent that a lot of people hold hard-and-fast opinions about certain things. Life informs our beliefs – once we’ve seen something or heard something often enough, we come to believe that it’s true, whether it’s factually true or not. That’s the way the brain is designed to work, and it’s how humans can learn as quickly as we do. It’s also how people come to believe that those who think differently are dumb, or at the very least, misinformed. Algorithms online serve to reinforce our beliefs by giving us more of what we look at and interact with most often. Next time someone says something you believe is factually incorrect, resist the temptation to correct them. Instead, think about how they could have come to that point of view. Remember that they haven’t lived your life and you haven’t lived theirs. Remember that those who can’t open their mind to allow different facts and opinions in have closed their mind to learning. That’s not who you want to be, right? PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Take a moment and think about the people you know – who do you think feels inner peace much of the time? Creating an inner, peaceful world for yourself is what this podcast is all about – remembering to take the tiny steps to observe your feelings and adjust your own attitude so you control your inner world instead of letting circumstances and other people control it. Today, observe your feelings. You can check in with yourself every 15 minutes, or if you use a watch that reminds you to stand up and move, use that moment to check your jaw and shoulder muscles – are they stiff? Then you’re stressed. While you move, take three long, slow, deep breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth. Breathing like that stimulates the vagus nerves, triggering the body’s relaxation response. When you want to feel more inner peace, take inventory of your stress level and lower it with this breath exercise. Aaaaaahhhhhhh…peace! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you know someone who is difficult to get along with? Maybe they are defensive when you offer an opinion different than theirs, or maybe they constantly correct your behavior? This kind of person is easy to deal with when they’re in your life by choice, because you can choose to cut them loose. When it’s someone you work with, it’s a lot harder, though. It’s tough to feel wagalicious when you’re being picked at or defensively attacked, so here’s something to try: freeze. Don’t engage. Don’t respond. Don’t defend yourself. Freeze. When you completely disengage from the moment and from their behavior, it confuses the difficult person. They’re ramped up for a spat – don’t give them one. Give yourself a moment to stand there frozen, then quietly and regally walk away. They’ll learn you’re no fun to play with and they’ll focus their poor attitude somewhere else. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Is there someone who acts like they don’t like you when you’re around? I’ll never forget going on a girlfriend trip to New York. There were seven of us on the trip, and one of the women made a point of shunning the company of another. She sat as far away as possible at tables, took a different cab, and was caught a few times making catty remarks about the object of her disapproval. Have you ever been the focus of something like that? It doesn’t feel good, does it? If that ever happens to you, here’s how you can avoid the sting and amp up your own self-esteem: chin up, ignore, walk away. Behavior like that is juvenile – that person is showing you who she is, not who you are. Since it’s clear the other person doesn’t care about your feelings, your opinion, and about you, give them the gift of your absence. If you absolutely must be together, give them the gift of your polite presence and put them on “ignore.” You don’t have to interact with, or care about the opinions of, someone who disrespects you. Chin up, ignore, walk away. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you ever make a mistake? Sure…we all do. Part of our shared life experience is that we’re not perfect. Sometimes the screw-ups are little and sometimes they’re not so little, and they all have one thing in common: they’re a major part of how we learn. One of my dogs is a therapy dog who works one-on-one with children, helping them hone their reading skills. One little boy brought in two books – one he’s read many times and one he’d never read before. The one that was new to him was just at the edge of his reading skills and he made a few mistakes. As much as possible I make suggestions as if they come from Archie the dog, and in this instance, Archie told the little boy that mistakes are good things because that’s how he would learn even bigger words. I wish I could share the look of joy on that little boy’s face – he stopped being ashamed of the mistakes and was eager to read so he could learn more words. Be like that little boy…embrace your mistakes and let the opportunities to grow excite you, too. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you know someone who like to talk about their problems…a lot? They love to tell the story of what happened, painting themselves in the best light while bemoaning the petty behavior of others? After they’ve told you about the newest unfair chapter in their life, do you hear them down the hall, telling the same story to others? Here’s what you need to know about people like that: they’re not seeking solutions, they’re seeking attention. They collect stories of pain, disrespect, and heartache and look for conversational cues that allow them to share. Often, they share even without any prompting from others. This is attention-seeking behavior, and you should treat it accordingly. If you want to give your undivided attention to someone who tells you their woes, encourage their behavior by being a sympathetic ear. If you’d rather have conversations that solve problems and uplift the people in them, discourage their behavior by always being in a hurry when you see them coming. People are allowed to wallow in their problems – you don’t have to wallow there with them. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Is there something in your life that you long to do, if only… If only you could afford it, or if only your loved ones approved, or if only you were brave enough? It doesn’t matter what it is. What matters is that it lights up your imagination, and it feels exciting and maybe a little bit scary, too. What matters is that you want to do it. So do it. Don’t give yourself permission to do it “some day” – give yourself the freedom to start planning it now. You can pretend like you’re writing a screenplay for a movie if you want – start scripting how the character that is you will find her way to the goal of her dreams. Daydream what it will feel like when you’re doing that thing you long to do. Journal about what it will look and feel like while you’re doing it. When you can engage the fanciful part of your brain called imagination, you’re teaching your brain to value the goal and to spot the subtle opportunities that can be stepping stones to your goal. Play with your dream inside your head every day, and one day it’ll become the reality you’ve always dreamed of. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

When you were a kid, did you know someone who loved things most people considered gross? There was a little boy who was friends with my brother, and this kid loved worms. He was so little he couldn’t even say the word properly – he called them “rums.” Whenever we were at the playground, he always ended up digging for worms. And whenever he found a worm, he’d hold it up, admire it, let it curl around his fingers, and then he’d set it free again and start looking for another one. Remember being that innocent, and the world hadn’t told you yet that what you loved wasn’t worth loving? That social shaping happens early – so early in our childhood that we often don’t even remember that it happened. What if today you remembered something socially unlovable that you loved as a child, and what if today you convinced yourself that it’s nobody’s business what you love, and what if today you gave yourself permission to love that socially unlovable thing again? Can you imagine how free you’d feel? PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Murder mysteries in books and on screen are often solved when an eyewitness points at a person and cries, “That’s the murderer!!” Yet the number of convictions overturned once DNA evidence became available is staggering, and points to a truth about people, their brains, and what they say they see. A person’s own life experiences, level of self-confidence, the level of self-confidence of other witnesses, the conversation with authorities before the line-up, and the amount of time that has passed since the event in question all plays in to whether the identification will actually be reliable. Why does this matter in your day-to-day life? Especially if you lead a team, remember that what someone perceives is almost always shaped by their own life experiences, level of confidence, the confidence level of those around them, and how much time has passed. Take each person’s words as their perception, not as unbiased reality, because there’s really no such thing as unbiased reality. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Are you a reader? If so, you understand the delicious and diabolical power of words. Mom instilled in me the love of reading, and also the healthy respect for the power of words. Words can feel delicious to the person you’re talking to, or they can be so hurtful that the relationship can never be the same after careless words get thrown around. One night during a rough patch in my marriage, the wasband was pushing every button I owned, and I could feel those childhood lessons about the power of words to wound and maim fading away under the weight of my anger. When it felt like I couldn’t keep my mouth shut any more, I grabbed my car keys and purse and left. I didn’t have a plan, I was just driving.   Later, when cooler heads prevailed, I silently thanked Mom for helping me understand that words are like a bell – you can’t unsay them, just like you can’t un-ring a bell. And the person you wound with words won’t ever be the same again. Ever. Words have power – use your power deliciously, not diabolically. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you sometimes feel the urge to be creative? What do you do when those kinds of urges hit you? A friend and I painted rocks. OK, that sounds weirder than it was. There’s a women’s shelter that my friend volunteers for and they wanted to leave colorful rocks along the sidewalks near the shelter for the women and their children to find. They asked that the rocks contain some sort of motivational message. That was a project we threw ourselves into, painting and decorating dozens of rocks over the course of two afternoons. If the women and children had even half as much fun finding them as we had making them, then the project was a home run. What do you do with your creative urges? Can you find a friend to share the project with? Can you find a nonjudgmental audience who will benefit by what you produce? Most importantly, can you be brave enough to follow your heart down that creative path? When you let creativity flow, you nourish your spirit in a way little else can. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

I watched as a woman on stage told a story. The story was of her teenaged daughter, stretching her wings, rebelling against the rules her parents had made for her. In the story, the girl came crying to her mom one morning, confessing she’d done a bad thing: she was pregnant. After a long pause, the woman on stage told us what she told her daughter that morning: “a baby is never a bad thing.” At a social event after that presentation, I saw the woman who had told the story and thanked her for the lesson she shared, as well as for her vulnerability in telling the story. She confessed that she’d never told the story on stage before, wondered if she should have, and told me she felt foolish for even thinking the audience might care or learn anything from her. Do you ever have doubts about yourself like that? Next time you hear your brain telling you that same old “nobody will care” story, remember this: you, your words, your stories, your life – are all things that others admire about you. Your unique light inspires others, whether you know it does or not. Shine it! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

The other day I was talking to a girlfriend and the name of a specific grocery store came up. I told her I hadn’t been in that store for years because of a problem that the manager badly mishandled. As the words came out of my mouth I heard how ridiculous I sounded, refusing to shop at an entire nation-wide chain of stores over one bad decision by one manager. Oops. Today’s Tiny Bite is about me, and maybe about you, too, if you have the occasional grudge you hold. Boundaries are good – grudges, not so much. I created the belief inside my head that I wouldn’t shop that brand. That meant that even when they had good deals on their great seafood, I missed out. My belief, created from an incident I refused to forgive, was limiting my choices and my life. This is a trivial example of the kinds of beliefs most of us create for ourselves at some point in our lives – they begin with a real, true thing that hurts or angers us, and we use that thing to wall off a piece of our life. Today, think about any grudges you might be holding. Chances are, the only person being punished is you. Excuse me…there’s a specific grocery store I need to shop in today… PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Are you the boss of you? I hope you can say “yes” to that, because when you learn to run your own life according to what feels right to you, that’s true freedom. Being the boss of you is very important, because that means you’re not allowing anyone else to be your boss. But what about those people who feel like they are the boss of everyone? Maybe you know someone like that – they run their own life, and try to run everyone else’s too. I’m a recovering “other peoples’ boss” – behavior learned in childhood as a babysitter and bossy big sister. When I realized that I was only in charge of my choices and my life, it was so freeing! Other people could make the decisions and mistakes they wanted and I didn’t have to control or fix anything. If you know – or sometimes are – a person who tries to “help” others make the right choice, remember – each person is their own boss, and that’s a full-time job. There’s no point in trying to be the boss of others, because it will frustrate and exhaust you and just tick them off. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you ever feel burned out at the end of your day? Do you know why you feel burned out? It’s probably not what you think. The mundane, day-to-day grind of a job you once were so excited about might be making you feel like you’re in the wrong job or the wrong career. Before you make a big decision, refocus. Take your focus away from the day-to-day grind of what you do. Focus on why you do it. Focus on what attracted you to it in the first place. Focus on the parts of what you do each day that you love. If you can ease your feelings of burn-out by doing this, great – take it a little farther. Focus on what makes you the perfect person to do what you do. Focus on your talents, your strengths, and your gifts. While this is all fresh in your mind, write it down, take a picture of it and favorite it in your phone. Maybe even make it your wallpaper. Look at it at the beginning of each work day and you’ll nip that burned-out feeling in the bud. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you have to give presentations? Do you have that “iceberg in the belly” feeling about making the presentation? Do you know why that is? It’s trust, or actually, it’s a lack of trust. In the past, maybe during show and tell in elementary school, you were heckled by someone. That behavior left a strong impression on you – one of not being able to trust that the audience will be on their best behavior. Try on this truth for size – the audience is there because of you. They want you to succeed. They don’t want their time to be wasted – they want to learn something or to be inspired or to check a box off on their “required training” list. They want you to be good. They want you to inspire them. When you approach preparing your presentation for them with this mindset, your presentations will rock and your audience will love you! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Did you know it’s OK for things to go wrong? It’s true – it’s when things go wrong that we learn what we’re made of, how we learn to do things better, and how we learn to take care of others and ourselves. We usually don’t like it much when things go wrong, and that’s a very human reaction. Before letting your anger or frustration or disappointment come out of your pores and out of your mouth, take a breath. Maybe take two or three. Stop and consider why it feels wrong – is it because something happened in a different order than you expected? A different way? Or maybe it didn’t happen at all? Understand the situation, then analyze what you’re discovering about the perceived failure. Much of the time, things just happened differently than you anticipated, yet they still turned out OK, and that teaches you flexibility. Sometimes the best-laid plans go awry and while it can still happen, the timetable has shifted, and that teaches you problem-solving. Sometimes someone drops a ball and it’s back to square one. That’s where you can hone your leadership skills. See – there are benefits that come out of things going wrong! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Have you suffered the loss of a loved one? Most of us have, and unless we die really early, all of us will. It’s gut-wrenching to lose someone you love – to know you’ll never get a call or text from them again, never get to hear their laugh or their wisdom, never get to watch them experience things you knew they longed to experience. Think about what I just said – you’re suffering the pain of loss – your loss, not theirs. When you lose someone you loved, what you’re losing is the experience you had, planned to have, and dreamed of having with them. You think you’re missing them – what you’re actually missing is your experience of them. One of the best ways to heal your heart is to remember that you can have the experience of them anytime you’d like. It’s tough at first when your pain is sharpest, and it gets easier the farther in time you are from the loss and the more often you consciously choose to experience them. Think of something you’d like to say to them? Put them in the chair next to you, see their face, lean in and say what you want to say. Do this in your imagination and feel your sorrows begin to lift. Do this often. It works. I promise you it does. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Are you in a situation that’s not what you want it to be and you’re feeling stuck? Maybe it’s a friendship or relationship, or maybe it’s a job or career path, you’ve tried everything you know to do to make things feel better to you and be better for you and nothing’s working. That’s a horrible way to feel, and a common coping mechanism is to make it someone else’s fault, at least inside your mind. Your marriage would be wonderful if your partner wasn’t so defensive. Your job would be challenging if your boss wasn’t so controlling. Your career would be fulfilling if only the clients weren’t so annoying. That’s probably all true, and it’s all irrelevant. Give up the blaming because when you’re blaming, you’re giving your power away. Take back your power – decide what YOU want and then do it. It’s your life – you deserve to be happy and fulfilled. Will there be repercussions? Probably, and who cares? It’s your life – you get to decide what you want and then make it happen. Show yourself that you matter – do what you need to do. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Have you ever contemplated the word “wellbeing?” It gets tossed around a lot in headlines, news stories, self-help programs, and even in clickbait. Heck, it’s even part of the name of this podcast! Is wellbeing about the mind? Yes. Is wellbeing about the body? Yes. Is wellbeing about the soul? Yes. Wellbeing is so much about your mind, body, and soul that I named my other podcast for it and its focus is to feed your mind, body, and soul with each weekly episode! Wellbeing isn’t complex – as a matter of fact, it’s so simple that I might make you laugh with it. You are a being, right? And you want to be well, right? Then you’re seeking wellbeing. We do so many things each day to thwart our own wellbeing – my goal with both of these podcasts is to give you easy ways to remember to focus on your wellbeing. Now that you’ve focused on the word “wellbeing” remember that’s who you want to be as much of the time as possible – a well being. When you’re feeling less than that, come and get some podcast help from me. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

What if I told you that procrastination is a good thing? Maybe not an entire lifestyle of it, but hear me out: when there’s something you know you need to do and yet you keep putting it off, maybe there’s a reason. At some level, you may know that you need more information before tackling that task. At some level, you may know that doing it correctly and well requires collaboration. At some level, you may know that if you wait to get it done, you’ll be able to focus more fully on it, creating a better outcome. You don’t have to know why you’re procrastinating, you just need to remember that maybe there’s a good reason that you are. Instead of kicking yourself for not getting something done, give yourself the grace of extra time and patience. The results are usually worth it! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Thích Nhất Hạnh was a Buddhist monk whose simple wisdom resonated – and still resonates – with people of all faiths, and of no professed faith. When asked to define the concept of enlightenment, his reply was simple and elegant: “Enlightenment for a wave is the moment it realizes it is water.” Many people think that enlightenment is an advanced, spiritual level that mere mortals can’t reach and that’s simply not true. Enlightenment is understanding that you are both an individual thing and a part of a greater thing. In the water example, you’re the wave and you’re also the water. You live in both realms, and you can focus on the smaller, individual realm that is your life while also remembering that you’re part of the larger, interconnectedness that we’re all a part of. You might call it faith or God or the Buddha, and you might have a different idea or name for what that larger interconnectedness is. When you live your life knowing that your love spreads far and wide in both of your spheres of influence, that’s enlightenment. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Want to know the secret of a great leader? They lead by example, not by explanation. They show how they want you to treat co-workers by the way they treat their own people. They show you how to handle an emergency by how they react in a not-optimal situation. They listen actively, value feedback, recognize, act on, and celebrate good ideas from other team members. They keep their door and their mind open. Great leaders walk the walk so well that they very rarely have to talk the talk, and when they do open their mouths, their words match their actions. They have a clear vision of where they want the team to go and communicate it clearly, effectively, and in a way that lets everyone know their value in that vision. Great leaders lead by example, not by explanation. What example will you set for your team today? PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you know someone who likes to tell stories of the bad things that happened to them? A little bit of that kind of storytelling is normal, and too much of it is detrimental to mental well-being. We’ve all had bad things happen to us, and when they do, it can feel very personal. I was mugged, and I felt victimized and vulnerable. Again, it’s normal to feel like that for a while. To continue to focus on the terror of the experience is to fail to gain the growth and perspective and resilience that are possible. You can’t get stronger after a bad experience if you continue to take that experience personally. Resilience comes from being able to reframe the event from a deliberate, personal, horrible experience that you’ll never get over into something that happened to you once and you learned and grew because of the experience. I learned to walk differently, to take in my surroundings more thoroughly, and to know that mugging is random, I was in the path of it, not the target of it, and I grew stronger because of it. Help your negatively-focused friend – share this Tiny Bite with them. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

How are you feeling today? I hope you said “great!” and if you’re not feeling great, this Tiny Bite is for you. Time is passing. Time is gliding along as time always does, and it is the one thing you can never get back. Time is like the water in a creek…it feels small and maybe not terribly significant, and it keeps moving. If you touch the water and then a moment later touch it again, you’ve touched completely different water…the first water you touched has flowed away from you. How can you help yourself feel better right now, so you don’t continue to feel not-optimal for longer and longer periods of time? What can you focus on right now that will lift your spirits? What can you accomplish right now that will help you feel good about yourself? If all else fails, go outside for 10 minutes and let Mother Nature help you feel better. Do it now, before time runs out. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you know who you are? Seriously – if you were going to hire someone like you, would you consider hiring yourself, or would you pass over yourself in favor of another candidate? Today I want you to think of your life as decades – zero to 9, 10 to 19, 20 to 29, and so on. Make a chart or a graph, and in each decade, list your major accomplishments. Did you win a lead role in the school play when you were 8? Write it down. Did you get a full ride to the college of your choice when you were 17? Write it down. Create a timeline of your life that includes all the accomplishments you can remember and hang it somewhere so you see it every day. Remind yourself how awesome you are and what you’ve accomplished so far in your life. Who knows what you’ll accomplish next! PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

How many opportunities have you seen in your life that you’ve taken advantage of and things worked well for you? And how many opportunities have you missed out on? That second question is harder, because we’re often not aware of the opportunities we miss. We’re not aware because we didn’t see them, and most of the time we missed them because we were time-traveling inside our head. When we’re brooding over something that happened in the past or worrying about something we think might happen in the future, it keeps us from focusing on what’s happening in our present. When you catch your brain time-traveling, stop and refocus on something happening at that moment. There are always opportunities – the trick is to train yourself to see the opportunities that present themselves to you each day. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Did you know the older you get, the more patience you’ll have? Think about you as a 10-year-old…what frustrated you? I remember peeling boiled eggs with Mom, and they just weren’t cooperating. The shell was sticking to the egg and every peeled egg was a misshapen, pock-marked, cracked mess. I was so upset – every time the shell took with it a chunk of egg white, I got madder. Mom laughed at me, asking if I thought I was peeling eggs for the Queen of England. In that moment, I didn’t see the humor, I just saw my complete failure in the egg-peeling department. Now when I peel eggs and they don’t cooperate, I don’t see it as an indictment of me as a person – they’re too fresh to peel easily, so they’ll make great egg salad. The older we get, the more patience we have. Trust that, no matter how old you are now. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Are you looking for happiness? Good for you! Are you looking for joy? Fabulous! Are you looking for peace? That is so wonderful. Do you know why I’m happy that you’re looking for those things – happiness, joy, and peace? Because in life, what you focus on is what you see, and in the case of feelings, what you focus on is what you’re more likely to feel. Have you ever gotten up in the morning, stubbed your toe, and the rest of the day seemed to go down from there? Focusing on the bad start to the day gets your mind focused on the non-optimal things around you – you’ll notice the toaster not working quiet right, the red lights that slow down your commute, and the grumpiness of your co-workers. Tomorrow, if you stub your toe as you get out of bed, concentrate on the strength of your bones that didn’t break. Focus on the complex machinery at work inside your foot, carrying you to the bathroom and through the day. Enjoy the flavor of your coffee and celebrate the green lights you sail through. When you’re looking for evidence of happiness, joy, and peace, you’ll find it all day, every day. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you watch those reality shows about one person choosing from a bevy of others? Maybe it’s a bachelor, surrounded by eligible women vying for his attention and affection. They call those shows “reality” and yet they’re as contrived as they can possibly be, and they feed into and feature the worst human characteristics, not the best. Have you ever been in a situation where the object of your affection was being courted by 11 other suitors, too? Of course not – the very premise of these shows flies in the face of reality. They set up a situation where the contestants are led to believe that they have to vie with each other, sometimes even defying their own personal ethics, to try to win the affections of the star so they can win the contest the show is built around. Watch these shows if they entertain you, and resist the temptation to live vicariously through any of the players. My wish for you is real love, not a ridiculous farcical circus pretending to be love. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Tread lightly through the world, and into the next when the time comes. Aldous Huxley’s poem on the subject references how much easier it is to cope with life when you walk through it lightly, taking things as they come instead of railing against injustices and brooding over disappointments. Lightly – take life lightly. Remember to feel the feelings as they come to you, so you can easily release them when their time has passed. Carrying them around creates the baggage we all try to rid ourselves of. Dragging old experiences and emotions around with you means you don’t have the focus or the energy to live in the right now, and that means you miss the life you’re living because you’re focused on what’s dead and gone. Lightly. Tread lightly through the world, and trust in the magic of the new beginnings that happen every day. PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing