This Complex Life

In tough times, joy can feel out of reach. But sometimes, a single shared laugh has the power to lift the weight of the world—even in a hospital room, a funeral, or a difficult conversation.In this special episode, I’m adding my voice to Podcasthon , a global movement of over 1,600 shows across 47 countries. Instead of just mentioning a charity at the end, I wanted to go deeper and dedicate this episode to the incredible work of Clown Doctors—specially trained performers who bring laughter into hospitals to ease anxiety and pain.Together, we’ll explore what laughter does to our bodies and our relationships, why it matters so much in hard moments, and how we can all make space for more playfulness in everyday life.Episode SummaryThis episode is a warm and science-backed reflection on the power of laughter—how it supports our mental health, deepens connection, and even has physical benefits. I talk about the inspiring work of Clown Doctors in Australia, how humour can be a tool for emotional repair, and why laughter belongs in even the most serious spaces.Key TakeawaysLaughter triggers feel-good chemicals like endorphins, dopamine, and oxytocin, reducing pain and improving connectionScientific research shows laughter can reduce cortisol (our stress hormone) by up to 32%Humour can strengthen relationships, ease conflict, and build trust, especially with teens and in familiesClown Doctors Australia use laughter as a tool in hospitals to reduce anxiety and support healingLaughter helps us regulate our emotions and reconnect with others, especially in high-stress momentsSharing a laugh can shift the tone in difficult conversations and promote closenessWe can intentionally create more opportunities for laughter in everyday lifePlayful moments—even small ones—can offer relief, connection, and a sense of hopehttps://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37220157/https://humourfoundation.org.au/clown-doctors/https://www.podcasthon.org/ Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

Ever feel like you and your partner are just co-existing rather than truly connecting? Maybe your conversations revolve around schedules, bills, and logistics, rather than shared experiences and meaningful moments.Join me, Marie Vakakis, therapist, mental health and relationships educator, as I share why friendship is the foundation of a strong relationship, how couples drift apart over time, and most importantly, how to rebuild connection and intimacy when you feel like housemates rather than partners.Key Takeaways:Friendship in a relationship creates trust, emotional safety, and longevity.Couples often drift apart due to stress, routine, and lack of prioritisation.Rebuilding connection starts with curiosity, shared activities, and appreciation.Conflict is inevitable, but handling it as teammates rather than opponents strengthens relationships.Small moments of connection—like humour, deep conversations, and prioritising fun—can reignite friendship.If your relationship feels more like a routine than a partnership, this episode is for you. Tune in to learn how to shift from housemates back to best friends.Resources:Bids for Connection – Recognising and responding to bids for connection in relationships.The Gottman Institute – Research-based insights on building strong relationships.If this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who might find it helpful. I’d love to hear your thoughts—reach out and let me know what stood out to you!Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/ Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

Couples therapy isn’t just about fixing relationship problems—it can also play a huge role in improving mental health. Many people think of therapy as a last resort when things are falling apart, but research shows that relationship support can also help with anxiety, depression, trauma, and emotional regulation.I’m joined by Trish Purnell-Webb, a clinical psychologist, certified Gottman therapist, and trainer for the Gottman Institute, to discuss how couples therapy strengthens connection and supports mental well-being.Key TakeawaysCouples therapy can lead to better mental health outcomes than individual therapy in some cases.A strong, supportive relationship can help regulate emotions and ease stress.Many people with mental health struggles feel isolated—even in relationships.Learning skills like emotional attunement and validation can reduce distress.Therapy teaches couples how to navigate challenges together rather than suffering alone.ResourcesThe Gottman Institute’s research on couples therapy effectiveness – www.gottman.comEmotionally Focused Therapy by Sue JohnsonIf this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who might find it helpful. I’d love to hear your thoughts—reach out and let me know what stood out to you.Contact Trish Purnell-Webb:www.trishpurnell-webb.com.au www.relationshipinstitute.com.auConnected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/ Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

Ever had a small disagreement spiral into a huge argument? Maybe it started with an eye-roll, a forgotten text, or a messy kitchen bench. Suddenly, it’s not about the dishes—it’s about feeling unheard, unappreciated, or disconnected.Join me, Marie Vakakis, a therapist, mental health, and relationships educator. In this episode, I unpack why small fights often mask deeper issues, how to tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy conflict, and ways to handle disagreements that strengthen connection rather than push you apart.Key takeaways:Conflict isn’t just about the argument—it’s about the deeper needs and emotions underneath it.Small issues left unresolved can build into resentment and disconnection.Healthy conflict strengthens trust, while unhealthy conflict creates emotional distance.The Four Horsemen—criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling—can erode trust if left unchecked.Repairing after a disagreement is more important than avoiding conflict altogether.The way we handle fights can bring us closer or push us further apart.If you’re interested in how to approach conflict in a way that builds connection rather than breaks it down, check out Episode 52 – It’s Not About the Fight—It’s How You Fight.Resources:The Gottman Institute – www.gottman.comIf this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who might find it helpful. I’d love to hear your thoughts—reach out and let me know what stood out to you!Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/ Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

Many couples only seek therapy when their relationship is already in serious trouble. But by the time they reach out, years of unresolved issues, built-up resentment, and unhealthy patterns can make it harder to repair their connection. So, what happens when couples wait too long to get support, and why is early intervention so important?Join me Marie Vakakis, a therapist, and mental health and relationships educator and Michelle Janssen as we discuss why couples therapy isn’t just for relationships in crisis, how waiting too long can make healing more difficult, and how seeking support earlier can lead to better outcomes.Key takeawaysCouples often wait an average of six years before seeking therapy, allowing issues to worsen.Therapy is most effective when couples seek support before problems escalate.Unresolved conflicts, resentment, and miscommunication can become deeply ingrained over time.Many couples don’t seek therapy due to stigma, fear, or the belief that things will improve on their own.Small issues left unaddressed can turn into significant relationship challenges.The earlier couples get support, the more tools they have to strengthen their relationship.Therapy isn’t about fixing a broken relationship—it’s about learning better ways to connect and communicate.ResourcesThe Gottman Institute’s research on couples therapy effectiveness – www.gottman.com Four horseman Art and science of love workshopsIf this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who might find it helpful. I’d love to hear your thoughts—reach out and let me know what stood out to you.Contact Michelle Janssenhttps://www.brisbanecouplescounselling.com/[email protected] Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/ Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

Why do we keep having the same fight?It can feel frustrating when the same arguments keep coming up. But conflict is not the problem. It is how we handle it that makes the difference. Research shows that most relationship conflicts are ongoing, yet avoiding them only builds resentment. The good news is that conflict, when managed well, can actually strengthen trust and connection.I am Marie Vakakis, a therapist, mental health and relationships educator. In this episode, I explore why conflict is normal, how small miscommunications can turn into bigger issues, and how curiosity, empathy and repair can help you navigate difficult conversations with your partner.Key takeawaysConflict is a normal and healthy part of relationshipsAvoiding difficult conversations does not make issues disappearSeventy percent of relationship conflicts are ongoing and unsolvableHow you approach conflict shapes trust and connectionRepairing after a disagreement is more important than never fightingWords, tone and active listening all play a role in resolving tensionSome people argue to be right, others to connect or feel in controlAsking questions with curiosity can lead to deeper understandingResources• Gottman Institute research on conflict in relationships – www.gottman.comIf this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who might find it helpful. I would love to hear your thoughts, so reach out and let me know what stood out to you.Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/ Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

Have you ever wondered when the right time is to try couples therapy? Or if you even need a major issue to start? Many people hesitate to seek support for their relationship, often waiting years before getting help—sometimes even separating without exploring their options.Today, we’re tackling the most common questions about couples therapy, from how to know if it’s right for you to what actually happens in a session. Joining me is Anne, my practice manager and the person who keeps everything running smoothly behind the scenes. Anne has gathered real questions from clients, friends, and people curious about what happens in couples therapy.We’re covering everything from whether you need to forgive past mistakes to what to do if your partner refuses to come. And yes, we even get into the weirdest things couples have fought about in my sessions (spoiler: toilet paper placement can be a deal-breaker for some!).Key Takeaways: • When to seek therapy: You don’t need a crisis to start—therapy can help at any stage, including as a preventative step. • How couples therapy works: From assessments to interventions, we break down what actually happens in a session. • What if my partner won’t go? Tips for approaching the conversation and increasing the chances they’ll say yes. • Affairs, open relationships, and trust: Can couples therapy help rebuild after betrayal or navigate non-traditional relationships? • The Gottman Method: Why I use it, and how science-backed assessments help guide therapy. • Traditional vs. Marathon Therapy: The difference between weekly sessions and intensive two- or three-day programs. • How long does it take? Realistic expectations for therapy length and why a “quick fix” isn’t always the best approach. • Ground rules for therapy: What’s acceptable (venting frustrations) and what’s not (secret-keeping, name-calling). • Handling conflict: How understanding your partner’s background can completely shift a heated debate. • Secrets in relationships: What’s okay to keep private and what could be damaging to your connection.Resources Mentioned:📖 The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work – John & Julie Gottman📖 Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love – John & Julie Gottman📖 Hold Me Tight – Sue JohnsonIf this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who might find it helpful. And if you have a question about couples therapy that we didn’t answer, send it in—we might tackle it in a future episode! Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

Have you ever wondered why grief feels so isolating?Many people expect grief to follow a straight path, something to "move on" from after a set amount of time. The reality is far more complex. In this episode, I sit down with psychologist and grief researcher Liam Spicer to explore what grief is, the myths that surround it, and how we can better support ourselves and others through loss.Grief is a universal human experience, yet so many of us struggle to talk about it openly. In this conversation, Liam shares insights from his work and personal experiences, breaking down common misconceptions about grief and bereavement. We discuss how grief extends beyond the loss of a loved one, why there’s no "right way" to grieve, and the role of connection in healing.Key TakeawaysGrief isn’t something you "get over"—it changes shape, but it doesn’t disappear.There’s no single timeline or correct way to grieve. Everyone’s experience is unique.Grief isn’t just about death—it can be triggered by life changes, lost opportunities, or even a shift in identity.Societal expectations can make grief harder by pressuring people to “move on” too quickly.Supporting someone who is grieving doesn’t mean having the perfect words—sometimes, just showing up is enough.Guilt about feeling happy again is common, but it doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten your loved one.There are ways to maintain a connection with someone you’ve lost, which can help with healing.ResourcesAustralian Centre for Grief and Bereavement – Fact sheets, resources, and support for grief.The Grieving Brain by Mary-Frances O'Connor – A science-based look at how grief affects us.It's OK That You're Not OK by Megan Devine – A compassionate guide for navigating grief.Liam Spicer’s Website- Find out more about Liam's work and research Liam’s Instagram https://www.instagram.com/liamspicer_/  [email protected]  Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/ Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

How Past Experiences Shape Our LivesWhy do certain situations trigger such strong emotions? Katheryn Eberly, a mental health social worker and family therapist, joins me to explore how early experiences shape our beliefs, why past wounds still affect us, and how we can start to shift unhelpful patterns.Key TakeawaysTrauma affects how we see ourselves and respond to stress."Big T" trauma stems from major events, while "little t" trauma comes from repeated distressing experiences.Core beliefs like "I'm not good enough" often develop in childhood.Emotional reactions in daily life can signal deeper unresolved experiences.Recognising patterns can help shift automatic responses.Resources MentionedWhat Happened to You? – Bruce Perry & Oprah WinfreySelf-compassion work by Kristin NeffPrevious episode: “I’m Not Good EnoughConnect with Kathrynhttps://restoringfamilies.com.au/ Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/ Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

Have you ever wondered if your goals truly reflect what’s most important to you? In this episode, clinical psychologist Patch Callahan joins me to break down the difference between values and goals and why living by your values is the key to a more meaningful and fulfilling life.We explore how to uncover your core values, navigate challenges in defining them, and integrate them into your everyday decisions. Whether you’re reevaluating your priorities for the new year or seeking deeper alignment in life, this episode offers practical insights to help you connect with what truly matters.Episode SummaryPatch Callahan shares the transformative power of values, particularly in the context of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). We discuss how values differ from goals, why they matter, and actionable steps to define and live by them. Tune in to discover how aligning your life with your values can lead to greater purpose and authenticity.Key Takeaways • Values vs. Goals: Values guide your actions and choices, providing meaning, while goals are specific targets or achievements. • Why Values Matter: Living according to your values fosters authenticity and a sense of purpose.Defining Your Values: • Reflect on key life domains: family, relationships, work, health, and leisure. • Identify what’s deeply important to you within each domain. • Narrow your focus to 5–6 core values that resonate most. • Challenges in Identifying Values: Overcoming confusion or uncertainty requires reflection, experimentation, and sometimes professional support. • Practical Tips for Value-Based Living: • Use discomfort as a guide—it often points to what matters most. • Prioritise decisions that align with your core principles. • Build psychological flexibility to stay committed to your values even when faced with challenges.ResourcesBullseye Activity: A practical tool for clarifying and connecting with your values. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FOEsnX87HoLearn More About Patch Callahan: Patch’s Bio and ServicesIf this episode resonated with you, share it with someone reflecting on their priorities this year! Don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and join the conversation about living with purpose.Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/ Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

Have you ever found yourself questioning your drinking habits or wondering why alcohol feels so deeply woven into our social lives? This episode will inspire you to take a closer look at addiction, coping strategies, and the pressures around drinking.In this episode, I sit down with psychologist Tara Hurster, an expert in addiction and substance use, to challenge the myths surrounding addiction and explore how we can make healthier, more intentional choices. From practical tools like the HALT method to navigating sober dating, Tara offers invaluable insights for anyone looking to change their relationship with alcohol.What We Cover in This EpisodeUnderstanding Addiction Beyond the MythsAddiction isn’t about weakness or moral failure; it’s a learned way to cope with life’s stresses and traumas.Tara shares her journey from supporting peers in high school to becoming an addiction specialist.Addiction Isn’t a DiseaseAddiction is not a disease or a moral failing—it’s a behavioural response to stress and emotions.Tara recounts her experiences working in an inpatient psychiatric hospital and how they shaped her views.Practical Strategies for Managing Substance UseThe HALT method: Are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired? Tara adds “Hydrated” and “Health” to the mix for a more holistic approach.Tara explains how checking in with these needs can prevent mindless behaviours, like reaching for a drink.Navigating Social Pressures Around AlcoholSimple strategies for declining a drink, from “I’m not drinking today” to a white lie like “I’m on antibiotics.”Setting boundaries is okay and can help you maintain your goals.Sober Dating: Building Authentic ConnectionsTips for enjoying dates without alcohol and focusing on meaningful connections.Tara introduces the FRIES acronym: Freely Given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, and Specific, to help with decision-making in dating and intimacy.The Sober Curious MovementA growing trend encouraging people to question their relationship with alcohol. Younger generations are leading the charge by embracing life without booze.Resources MentionedAlcohol and Drug Information Service: Call 1800 250 015 or visit ADIS WebsiteConnect with Tara Hurster:Website: Tara ClinicInstagram: @TaraHursterEnjoyed the Episode?If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review on your favourite podcast platform. It helps others discover the show and keeps me inspired to create more conversations like this. Don’t forget to subscribe and share this episode with someone who might benefit!Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

Holidays are meant to be magical, but let’s be honest – they can also be a whirlwind of stress, unmet expectations, and arguments over things like... ham on napkins. Ever found yourself mid-fight during the holiday season, wondering, “What are we even fighting about?” This episode is for you.As a therapist, I see this all the time in my sessions: couples bickering over seemingly small things that often hold deeper meaning. Today, I’m unpacking what’s really behind those seemingly silly holiday fights and sharing practical ways to handle them with curiosity and connection.We’ll explore why the conflict isn’t really about the napkins or the ham, but what they represent – memories, traditions, or unmet needs. So, whether you’re dealing with family chaos, mismatched holiday vibes, or just the general holiday rush, I’ve got you covered.Key Takeaways:Why holiday fights are rarely about what they seem – and how to figure out what’s really going on.The importance of understanding your partner’s holiday traditions and what they mean to them.How to approach disagreements with curiosity rather than conflict.Tips for validating your partner’s feelings (even if you don’t agree!).Why compromise is healthy – and how to do it without dismissing each other’s needs.How to start meaningful conversations about celebrating holidays together.The power of acknowledging sadness when things don’t go as planned.Resources:Well, Hello Anxiety Podcast: My conversation with Jodi Richardson where we chatted about mismatched holiday vibes, setting boundaries, and handling family chaos. Listen here.Christmas holiday boundaries blog   – Additional tips and articles on holiday stress and relationship dynamics.If you’ve enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to leave a review and subscribe for more conversations on navigating life and relationships. Let’s keep the conversation going on social media – I’d love to hear your thoughts!Ready to hit reset on your relationship? Join me for a workshop packed with practical tools and guided prompts to help you and your partner communicate better, tackle tricky topics like money, and create a clear plan for the year ahead. -- JOIN ME LIVE--https://marievakakis.com.au/events/ Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

Does the holiday season leave you feeling stressed and overcommitted? With endless parties, gift exchanges, and family gatherings, it’s easy to say yes to everything and forget about your own needs. In this episode, I’m sharing how to set boundaries that protect your energy, time, and budget, so you can truly enjoy the festive season without the burnout.I’ll explore why setting boundaries matters and how to communicate them clearly, even when it’s hard. From managing tricky family dynamics to sticking to a budget for gifts and dinners, this episode is packed with practical strategies to help you navigate the holidays with more ease and confidence.In this episode I discuss How to recognise your limits and avoid overcommitting during the holidaysWhy boundaries are about your actions, not controlling othersTips for setting clear financial limits without guiltHow to manage social and family pressures with calm and confidenceThe power of saying no and following through on your boundariesPractical ways to offer alternatives that work better for youConnected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/ Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

If you’ve ever wondered why your teen seems on edge or overwhelmed, you’re not alone. Anxiety in teens can feel daunting to understand and even harder to navigate. In this episode, I break down the basics of anxiety, what might be going on with your teen, and how you can truly support them. Whether it’s about recognising the signs, fostering empathy, or knowing when to seek help, this episode is packed with practical advice you can put into action today.Key Takeaways:Understanding the difference between stress and anxiety: Stress is often tied to specific events and can dissipate once the issue resolves. Anxiety, however, can linger and feel harder to manage.Why teens are more prone to anxiety: During adolescence, critical brain development and life pressures make teens more vulnerable to intense emotions.Common triggers for anxiety in teens: These can include schoolwork, social pressures, family dynamics, and even global issues like climate change.The importance of empathy: Listening without dismissing your teen’s feelings is key. Simple phrases like, "That sounds really hard," can go a long way in showing support.Helping teens build resilience: Letting them face challenges and problem-solve on their own, while ensuring their safety, can foster confidence.Recognising when professional help is needed: If anxiety disrupts daily life, it might be time to seek support from a mental health professional.Normalising therapy and self-care: Sharing your own experiences with therapy or coping strategies can help teens feel comfortable seeking help.Resources:Connected Teens Course: Learn how to strengthen your connection with your teen while respecting their individuality. Book Recommendation: Hold On to Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Maté – A helpful guide on supporting your teen’s emotional development.Related Episode: Why Does My Teen Feel Overwhelmed and What Can I Do to Support Them– Discover how to identify and address overwhelm in teens.Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/ Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

Ever wondered why your teen sometimes seems to be on an emotional rollercoaster? In this episode, I tackle a question that’s close to home for many parents: Why does my teen seem so moody? Instead of brushing it off as "just a phase," I explore what’s really going on for teens emotionally and mentally, from hormonal changes to the social pressures they face every day. If you've ever been met with a slammed door or an eye-roll, this episode will help you understand the bigger picture and respond in ways that support them.I share insights into brain development, social dynamics, and how to create a supportive environment at home. This is all about building connections and helping teens feel understood rather than dismissed.Key Takeaways:Understanding that teen moodiness isn’t just “acting out”; it’s a response to many factors, including brain development and social pressures.The impact of fluctuating hormones on emotions and behaviour, and how this is a natural part of growing up.Recognising signs of overwhelm in teens and the importance of timing and tone when discussing sensitive topics.Why criticism or constant reminders can feel like “nagging” to teens and might lead to defensiveness.Balancing giving teens independence while staying available for support and guidance.The importance of modelling emotional regulation as a parent, as teens learn by observing how we handle our emotions.Simple, actionable steps to connect with your teen without pushing them away, like avoiding overloading them with questions.Ways to validate your teen’s feelings, even if you may not agree, and how to create a safe space for them to express themselves.Resources:Connected Teens™ Course – My on-demand course designed to help parents connect with their teens.Episode on “Why Won’t My Teen Talk to Me After School?” – For more tips on how to handle after-school conversations.If you have a question you’d like me to answer in a future episode, reach out via the link in the show notes. I’d love to hear from you and explore the topics that matter most to you and your family.The Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

Ever wondered why your teenager suddenly seems to prefer hanging out with friends over family dinners or weekend outings? In this episode, I’ll be talking through some of the key reasons teens begin to pull away from family time, focusing on the natural shifts in social priorities and independence that come with adolescence. It’s not about rejection, though it might feel that way; it’s a complex stage of growing up where friendships often take centre stage. I’ll explore why this happens and share some tips on how you can maintain a meaningful connection without pushing them away.So, if you’re finding family time with your teen to be a bit of a tug-of-war, this episode is for you!Key TakeawaysTeens often prioritise friendships over family as they develop their own identities and social lives.FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) plays a big role, making them want to stay closely connected with their friends.The shift towards friendships is part of natural differentiation—teens exploring their sense of self outside of the family.Parents can feel rejected, but understanding this phase helps in responding supportively.Handling feelings of rejection with awareness can prevent tension and create a more positive environment for connection.Encouraging shorter, meaningful family interactions can help without making them feel forced.Finding a balance between family traditions and their developing independence allows teens space to grow while staying connected.Recognise and respect their need for autonomy; focus on quality time rather than quantity. Episodes to link to  https://marievakakis.com.au/parents-feeling-rejected-by-their-teens/Connected teenshttps://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

Ever feel like your teen is constantly overwhelmed and stressed, but you're unsure how to help without making things worse? In this episode, I’m sharing practical ways you can support your teen when life feels like it’s coming at them too fast. Whether it's school pressures, social media, or the daily juggle of activities, teens today face a lot. I’ll help you understand why they might be feeling so overwhelmed and how you, as a parent, can be there for them in the best way possible.As a therapist and mental health educator, I’ve seen how parents can unintentionally add to the pressure. But it doesn’t have to be this way! I’ll explain why listening is often more powerful than offering solutions and share tips on connecting with your teen when they’re struggling.Key Takeaways:Why teens feel overwhelmed: Reflect on the factors contributing to your teen’s stress, from social pressures to academic expectations.The difference between stress and overwhelm: Understand how stress can motivate, but when it turns into overwhelm, it’s like drinking from a fire hose.Stop fixing, start listening: Discover how to hold space for your teen and let them feel heard without jumping into problem-solving mode.Use emotion coaching to connect: Learn how to validate your teen’s feelings and open up the conversation in a supportive way.Give them space to decompress: Understand why bombarding them with questions or advice right away isn’t helpful.Collaborate on solutions when they’re ready: Help your teen problem-solve once they feel seen and heard, not before.Resources:Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown: A fantastic resource on stress and overwhelm.Link to stress cycle video: Check out my video on how to manage the stress cycle.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bFGz9ObyW4 JOIN the Connected Teens Course https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

Have you ever asked your teen a question, only to be met with silence or a shrug? It’s frustrating, right? This is a common concern for parents. I hear this concern a lot. In this episode, I’m answering this common question I get from parents ‘’why won’t my teen talk to me?” I’ve heard so many parents share that they feel disconnected or rejected when their child turns to friends instead of them for support or advice. But here's the thing, t’s completely normal for teens to gravitate towards their peers, though that doesn’t make it any less painful for parents.In this episode, I’ll be covering the most common mistakes that cause communication breakdowns and offering strategies to help rebuild that connection. You don’t have to feel stuck in a cycle of miscommunication. By making a few adjustments, it’s possible to create a space where your teen feels safe and comfortable opening up again.Fixing problems isn’t always the answer. Teens often just want to feel heard and understood.Too many solutions can overwhelm your teen and make them feel as if you don’t trust them.Judging or criticising, even about their friends, can shut down communication.Let your teen make mistakes—this builds resilience and trust.The shift from being a “manager” to a “consultant” and offering guidance without controlling.Quotes:"People often don’t want their problems fixed. They just want to be heard, empathised with, and validated.""Frequent judgment ruptures that connection. And remember, connection is one of the most important things for a relationship.""Resilience comes from actually falling down, dusting yourself off, and getting back up—both physically and metaphorically."Resources:Free eBook: My Teen Won’t Talk to MeConnected Teens™ Parenting CourseIf you’re struggling with teen communication, this episode offers practical advice to help you reconnect with your child, even when it feels like you’re drifting apart.The Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

Have you ever thought about sneaking a look at your teen’s diary? It’s something a lot of parents consider, especially when they're worried about their teen or feeling out of the loop. But is it the best move? In today’s episode, I’m digging into whether reading your teen’s private thoughts helps or harms your relationship, and how you can stay connected without crossing that line.This episode covers the common question: “Is it okay to read my teen’s diary?” It’s a question I hear from parents who are desperate to understand what’s going on in their child’s life. While the temptation is understandable, I explain why breaching that boundary can cause more harm than good and share strategies for maintaining trust and communication with your teen.Why It’s an Important QuestionMany parents feel torn between wanting to respect their teen’s privacy and needing to know what’s happening in their life. This is an important question because it highlights the fine line between concern and control, and how actions like reading their diary can impact your relationship long term. From my work with teens and families, I’ve seen how breaking trust can lead to emotional distance, and it can be tough to rebuild.Here’s what we cover in this episode:Why reading your teen’s diary can damage the trust between youHow privacy violations affect their emotional development and future relationshipsPractical tips for keeping the connection strong without invading their personal spaceStrategies for managing your worries and having open, respectful conversations with your teenHow to model healthy boundaries and respect, setting the example for your teenMy Experience and How I Can HelpI know it’s hard not to want to know everything about what’s going on with your teen, especially when they’re going through difficult times or pulling away from you. From working with many families, I’ve seen how important trust is in parent-teen relationships. Once that’s broken, it can be hard to get back. Instead of reading their diary, I’m here to offer some practical ways to build trust and foster openness. Whether it’s finding ways to stay connected through shared activities or starting conversations in a way that invites them to share, this episode is full of tips you can put into action straight away.Ready to learn more?If you’re looking for more support on how to build a stronger relationship with your teen, be sure to check out my Connected Teens™ program. There’s a live cohort starting soon, so don’t miss out on a chance to dive deeper into these strategies! And don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with other parents who are navigating the tricky world of teen privacy and connection.The Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

I share a powerful concept that can transform your relationships – bids for connection. These small moments when someone reaches out, whether it’s your partner or your teen, can make all the difference in how we build trust and emotional intimacy. How we respond – whether we turn towards, turn away, or respond unkindly – shapes the quality of our relationships.I explore how noticing and responding positively to bids can strengthen your connection, whether you’re in a romantic relationship or navigating the ups and downs of parenting teens. Drawing on both my own experience and the research of John and Julie Gottman, you'll learn how these interactions impact your mental health, emotional wellbeing, and the health of your relationships.Whether you’ve been feeling disconnected in your relationship or want to understand your child better, this episode offers practical tools to help you notice bids for connection and turn towards them with kindness.Key Takeaways:Bids for Connection: These are everyday actions or signals to establish connection. Learning to respond to them with care strengthens your bond.Turning Towards or Away: How you respond – with attention or indifference – plays a big role in maintaining emotional intimacy.For Couples: Positive responses to bids help you build trust and store up connection for harder times.For Parents: Teens’ bids may seem subtle or negative, but recognising and responding to them is key to strengthening your relationship.Direct Quotes:"Bids for connection are one of the most powerful parts of a relationship. How we respond can make or break that connection.""We often get caught up in life, and miss those small moments where our loved ones are trying to reach out to us."Be sure to listen in for more on how to improve your relationships through bids for connection!Links:Join the Connected Teens Have questions or feedback? Send me an email, and I might cover it in a future episode!Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/https://marievakakis.com.au/https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

Have you ever wondered when the right time is to start couples therapy? Maybe you’re worried about what might come up, or whether it’s only for when things get really bad. In this episode, I break down the common fears around couples therapy and share why it can be beneficial long before things reach a crisis point. Whether you're curious about how couples therapy works or how to talk to your partner about going, this episode is packed with helpful insights.I’ll cover what to expect when you walk into a couples therapy session, why it’s not just about airing your "dirty laundry," and how therapy can help you and your partner better understand each other, communicate more effectively, and feel more connected.Key Takeaways:Couples therapy isn’t just for crises: It can be preventative and help you build a stronger relationship, even if things aren’t "bad."What to expect in your first session: I explain how I use an in-depth four-session assessment process to understand both individuals and the relationship.Common reasons couples seek therapy: From communication issues to navigating parenthood, sex and intimacy, or recovering from an affair—there are many reasons to consider therapy.Misunderstandings around couples therapy: We address the fear that one partner will be blamed, and how a therapist’s role is to facilitate understanding, not take sides.How to approach your partner about therapy: I share tips on how to start the conversation without making it feel like an attack or an ultimatum.Practical tools to improve communication: Learn how shifting from criticism to collaboration can change the dynamic of your relationship for the better.Working on your relationship solo: You can still go to therapy alone to work on yourself and your relationship if your partner isn’t ready or willing to join.Resources:The Therapy HubGottman Institute - Resources on relationships and couples therapyEight Dates book by Drs. John and Julie Gottman: A great read for couples looking to strengthen their relationship.This episode is perfect for anyone who’s ever thought about couples therapy but wasn’t sure where to start or how to bring it up with their partner. By the end, you’ll have a clearer idea of what couples therapy can offer and why it could be the best step forward for your relationship.The Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

Ever feel like your desire doesn’t match what you see in the movies, or that your sex life doesn’t quite stack up to what others seem to be experiencing? In this episode, I explore the many myths surrounding women’s sexual desire and why so much of what we believe is misleading. From the pressure to experience spontaneous desire to the myth of the perfect sexual encounter, I break down how these misconceptions can impact our relationships and our sense of self.Drawing on the work of experts like John and Julie Gottman, Esther Perel, and Emily Nagoski, I’ll guide you through how emotional intimacy, open communication, and understanding different types of desire can help transform the way you think about sex and connection.Key Takeaways:Spontaneous desire isn’t the only kind of desire – responsive desire is just as valid and common, especially for women.There’s no such thing as a perfect sexual encounter – intimacy is often clumsy, messy, and filled with unexpected moments.Emotional intimacy and sexual satisfaction are deeply connected. A strong friendship and open communication outside the bedroom can lead to a more fulfilling sex life.Long-term relationships don’t have to kill desire – creating space for novelty, autonomy, and mystery can reignite attraction.Women are not the gatekeepers of sexual health in a relationship – sexual responsibility and desire maintenance is a shared effort.Resources:Mating in Captivity by Esther PerelState of Affairs by Esther PerelCome As You Are by Emily NagoskiThe Gottman Institute’s resources on emotional intimacy and connectionThe Love Deck App by John and Julie GottmanThe Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

We talk about fears and hesitation surrounding couples therapy. We discuss stigmas and misconceptions that prevent people from seeking the help they need to nurture and grow their relationships.In this episode Belinda and I discuss the value of couples therapy We talk about how to find the right therapist who can work with the specific challenges faced within your relationship.We discussed ways of navigating challenging conversations. We talk about the importance of being curious rather than critical during difficult discussions.The role of individual therapy and how it can complement couples therapy Couples therapy can be a transformative experience for relationships, providing tools and insights to improve communication, connection, and conflict resolution. By being curious and seeking the right therapist, individuals can foster a deeper understanding of their relationship dynamics. About Belinda GibsonBelinda is a registered Psychologist and Gestalt Psychotherapist, and is the founder and director of Footscray Counselling Centre, where she provides individual, couples and groups with relationally orientated psychotherapy supervision and therapy.Belinda also works as a consultant to various academic and medical organisations, facilitating reflective group practice, training workshops and supervision.https://footscraycounsellingcentre.com.au/Blog post mentionedhttps://thetherapyhub.com.au/is-it-too-late-for-couples-therapy-5-benefits-of-couples-therapy/Connect with Mariehttps://thetherapyhub.com.au/https://marievakakis.com.au/https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

In today's episode, I chat with Avril Cook, a clinical psychologist with a wealth of experience in mental health, family dynamics, and working with teens. We dive into the often tricky subject of how to talk to young people about sex, consent, and body autonomy. I'm excited to have Avril on the show because of her practical approach to these conversations, which can be challenging for both parents and teens. I appreciate her perspective on how starting these discussions early and making them part of everyday life can help demystify and destigmatise these topics. This episode is packed with valuable insights for any parent or caregiver looking to create a safe space for open dialogue with their kids.Key Themes:Starting the Conversation Early: Avril emphasises the importance of introducing topics like body autonomy and consent early in a child’s life to make these discussions more natural as they grow older.Building Trust Through Everyday Interactions: We discuss how parents can build a foundation of trust by being non-judgmental and open, encouraging their children to come to them with any issues, big or small.Navigating Awkward Conversations: Avril shares practical tips on how to handle the inevitable awkwardness when discussing sex and consent, including the value of engaging in these talks during shared activities rather than formal sit-downs.The Role of Gender in Conversations about Sex: We explore the different societal expectations placed on boys and girls regarding sexuality and how these can impact the way parents talk to their children.Repairing Communication Gaps: Avril offers advice on how parents can repair relationships with their teens if they feel they've mishandled previous conversations about sensitive topics.Avril Cook is a clinical psychologist with her own practice, Bodhi and Psychology. She specialises in family dynamics, working with teens and adults, and providing consultation to organisations on mental health and workplace wellness. Avril is passionate about helping parents navigate the complexities of raising children in today’s world.Bodhi & Psychology Pty LtdClinical Psychology | Training | Supervision | Research | Consultation  www.bodhiandpsychology.com.au @bodhiandpsychology Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

As a parent or guardian, talking to kids and teens about sex, consent, and relationships can feel overwhelming, especially if these topics were never discussed in your own upbringing. In this solo episode, I delve into the common questions I receive from parents about how to navigate these essential conversations.From the basics of when to start talking about sex to the importance of consent and respect, I share practical tips and insights to help you feel more confident and prepared. Whether you're raising little ones or navigating the teenage years, it's never too late to start these discussions and create a safe space for open communication.Key TakeawaysStart Early: Begin conversations about bodies, privacy, and consent from a young age, gradually building on these topics as your child grows.Be Honest and Age-Appropriate: Answer questions truthfully while keeping the information suitable for your child’s developmental stage.Normalise the Conversation: Use everyday moments, like TV shows or real-life situations, to naturally introduce topics related to sex and relationships.Respect Boundaries: Teach your children about the importance of personal boundaries and consent, and model this behaviour in your daily interactions.Lead by Example: Show your kids what healthy communication and respect look like by practising these values yourself.Stay Calm and Open: Approach these conversations without judgement or criticism, and encourage your child to ask questions whenever they need to.Use Reputable Resources: Direct your children to trustworthy sources of information if they’re hesitant to talk directly with you, and ensure they understand how to evaluate the reliability of what they find online.Other relevant episodes https://marievakakis.com.au/why-doesnt-my-teen-listen-to-me-anymore/ ResourcesRaising Children Network: Trusted advice on talking to kids about sex and relationships.Scarleteen: Inclusive and comprehensive resources for teens on sex, sexuality, and relationships.Feel free to reach out with your questions or share your thoughts with me about this episode—I’m here to help you navigate this important part of parenting! Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

In today's episode, I chat with Dr. Sarah Ashton, a psychologist with over 15 years of experience and the founder of Sexual Health and Intimacy Psychological Services (SHIPS). I'm excited about this guest because of her unique approach to addressing sexual health through a psychological lens. I like her work because it doesn't shy away from the topics that often make us uncomfortable but are essential for our wellbeing. We dive into the common misconceptions about sex and relationships, and why it's so important to talk openly about these issues. Dr. Ashton shares insights into the "sexual scripts" we've all internalised, often without realising it, and how they shape our intimate lives.Episode Content:Sexual Scripts: We discuss how these learned patterns influence our expectations and behaviours in sexual relationships.Misconceptions About Sex: Dr. Ashton talks about the rigid beliefs around sex, such as the notion that it must end in orgasm, and how these ideas can lead to anxiety and dissatisfaction.The Role of Culture in Sexual Beliefs: An exploration of how cultural background impacts our views on sex and relationships.Mindfulness and Sensation in Sex: Practical tips on how to reconnect with your body and improve intimacy through mindfulness.The Challenge of Finding the Right Therapist: Guidance on how to navigate the search for a therapist who is a good fit for discussing sexual health.Guest Bio:Dr. Sarah Ashton is a psychologist and the founder of Sexual Health and Intimacy Psychological Services (SHIPS), the first practice in Australia focused on sexual health from a psychological perspective. With over 15 years of experience, Dr. Ashton has been instrumental in creating spaces for open discussions about sex and relationships, offering evidence-based therapies and training.Resources:Book: Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski – A highly recommended read for understanding sexual function with easy-to-understand language and practical exercises.Website: https://www.shipspsychology.com.au/ – Visit for blogs, resources, and information on sexual health and intimacy.https://sexual-health-intimacy-psychological-training.teachable.com/p/sexual-health-and-intimacy-training-community.  Instagram: – Follow for regular insights and information on sexual health topics.The Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

Do you ever feel like your teen tunes you out the moment you start talking? Or maybe every conversation seems to end in a heated argument? It’s frustrating, right? In this episode, I’m diving deep into the reasons why your teen might not be listening to you anymore and what you can do to change that. As a therapist and relationships educator, I’ve seen these patterns in so many families, and today, I’m sharing practical insights to help you reconnect with your teen.In this episode, we’ll explore how the natural shift in your teen’s need for independence can lead to communication breakdowns, and I’ll offer some strategies to help you transition from being the “manager” of their life to a more supportive “consultant” role. Let’s dig into how you can model the behaviours you want to see in your teen, focus on building trust, and ultimately, foster a stronger connection with them.Why Does My Child Seem to Ignore Me When I Ask Them to Do Something?As your child grows into their teenage years, their desire for independence increases. This can often result in them appearing to ignore you when you ask them to do something. It’s not always about defiance—sometimes, they’re asserting their growing autonomy.Why Do I Feel Like My Child Doesn’t Listen to Me Anymore?If you feel like your child is no longer listening to you, it might be time to examine the way you’re communicating. Are you still acting as a “manager” in their life, or have you shifted to a “consultant” role? Teens respond better when they feel respected and heard, rather than managed.Why Is Every Conversation with My Child Turning into a Battle?Constant correction and criticism can make your teen feel undervalued, leading to frequent arguments. Prioritising connection over correction can help reduce these conflicts and make conversations more constructive.Why Do I Feel Like I’m Losing My Connection with My Child?Losing connection with your teen can be distressing. Building trust through consistent, respectful, and empathetic communication is key to maintaining that important bond.ResourcesConnected Teens Program: A six-module, on-demand training for parents of teens designed to help you build stronger, more connected relationships with your children.Other Relevant Episodes and VideosIs Your Teen Changing Overnight? Here's What’s HappeningMy teens aren't interested in me. What do I do?Watch on YouTubeFull notes and transcript can be found here.The Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

In today's episode, I chat with Amal, a dedicated counsellor and passionate advocate for young men's mental health. I'm excited by this guest because Amal has a unique perspective, transitioning from engineering to counselling, which gives him a fascinating approach to understanding and supporting young men's emotional lives. I admire his ability to explain complex mental health concepts in relatable ways, making it easier for parents and educators to support the young men in their lives.Episode ContentYoung Men's Emotional Expression: Amal highlights the misconception that young men are not in touch with their emotions, explaining how societal expectations often hinder their ability to express feelings.Role of Male Figures: We discuss the vital role of fathers and male role models in fostering emotional openness and how their involvement can positively impact young men.Challenges in Diverse Communities: Amal shares insights into the unique challenges faced by young men from migrant and refugee backgrounds, emphasising the importance of understanding cultural stigmas around mental health.Practical Advice for Parents: Amal provides actionable advice for parents on how to create an environment where young men feel comfortable discussing their emotions.Analogies and Personal Stories: Using powerful analogies and personal experiences, Amal illustrates the importance of community and vulnerability in supporting mental health.Guest BioAmal Saleh-Zada is a registered counsellor with over ten years of experience working with adolescents, young adults, and adults. He considers the role of a counsellor to be a privilege and believes that humour is his biggest strength in the counselling space.Amal is particularly interested in men’s mental health and is dedicated to creating a safe space for open discussions about feelings, emotions, and the challenges that men face. He understands that the quality of the working relationship significantly impacts the counselling process. Amal works collaboratively with his clients to help increase their self-awareness and explore any obstacles preventing them from living their best lives. He aims to develop the necessary skills for his clients to achieve their goals.Amal works at a local highschool and at The Therpay Hub The Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

Hey everyone, it’s Marie Vakakis here, your host of This Complex Life. In today’s episode, I’m flying solo to chat about a topic that’s often a mystery to many – understanding the whirlwind of changes teens go through. If you’ve ever felt bewildered, stressed, or even a little left out by your teenager’s sudden transformation, you’re not alone. Today, we’ll delve into what’s happening for them and how we can better support them through these turbulent years.Being a parent of a teenager can feel like navigating uncharted waters. One day they’re your sweet, cuddly child, and the next, they’re cranky, secretive, and shutting you out. In this episode, I break down the various changes teens experience – from physical and hormonal shifts to the emotional rollercoaster they’re on. We’ll discuss how to handle these changes, maintain open communication, and support your teen while they discover who they are. It’s all about patience, empathy, and understanding their world.Key Takeaways:Understanding Adolescent Development: Learn about the significant physical and emotional changes that occur during adolescence, akin to the rapid growth seen from birth to three years old.Communicating with Empathy: Discover the importance of listening without judgment and validating your teen’s experiences to build a stronger connection.Negotiating Boundaries: Tips on setting boundaries through negotiation rather than dictation, helping teens feel included and respected.Allowing Safe Risk-Taking: The value of letting teens take risks in a safe environment to foster independence and problem-solving skills.Talking About Sex: Why it’s crucial to have ongoing, open conversations about sex, consent, and safe relationships with your teen.Keeping Communication Open: Strategies for letting your teen know you’re there for them without feeling suffocated or interrogated.Recognising When to Seek Help: Signs that indicate it might be time to seek professional support for your teen’s mental health.Resources:Free eBook: Why Won’t My Talk to Me? – Download my free eBook for more detailed insights and exercises to help you connect with your teen.https://marievakakis.com.au/my-teen-wont-talk-to-me/Connected Teens Program: Learn more about my program, which is designed to support families through the adolescent years.https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Join me in this episode as we navigate the complexities of teenage development together. Remember, you’re not alone in this -Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

IntroductionIn today's episode, I chat with Michael, a family therapist and accredited mental health social worker, about the crucial topic of men's mental health. We delve into the often uncomfortable but essential discussion around shame and stigma, and how addressing these can lead to healing and stronger connections. I'm excited by this guest because Michael has a wealth of experience and insight into the unique challenges men face when seeking support. I particularly appreciate his perspective on emotional expression and the importance of sitting with our feelings.Episode ContentKey Takeaways:Men and Emotional Expression: Michael discusses how men often prefer solutions and the importance of encouraging them to sit with their emotions.Impact of Shame: We explore how shame influences men's mental health and their willingness to seek help.Overcoming Stigma: Michael shares strategies for addressing the stigma around men's mental health.Building Healthy Relationships: Practical tips on how men can build deeper and more meaningful connections.Finding the Right Therapist: Advice on what to look for in a therapist to ensure a good fit.Support Systems: The role of support systems in helping men manage their mental health.Personal Stories: Michael shares insightful stories from his professional experience that highlight the impact of addressing shame.Guest BioMichael is a family therapist and accredited mental health social worker with extensive experience in men's mental health. His work focuses on helping men navigate their emotions and overcome the stigma associated with seeking mental health support.Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

In today's solo episode, I'm excited to share a powerful tool that can help transform your relationship in just one hour a week—the State of the Union meeting. Created by the renowned John and Julie Gottman, this technique is all about building stronger, more empathetic relationships.In this episode, I discuss how dedicating just one hour a week to a structured conversation with your partner can make a huge difference. I'll guide you through the steps of these meetings, from starting with appreciation to tackling issues constructively. This is one of my favourite techniques to teach couples, and I'm thrilled to share it with you.Key Takeaways:The importance of setting aside one hour a week for your relationship.How to start your State of the Union meeting with appreciation.Tips for discussing issues with a focus on personal feelings, not blame.Understanding and validating your partner's perspective.The ATTUNE acronym: Awareness, Tolerance, Turning Towards, Understanding, Non-defensive listening, Empathy.Making repair attempts and discussing missed or overlooked issues.How to end the meeting by asking what you can do to make your partner feel more loved next week.Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

In today's episode, I chatted with a leading expert in positive psychology who has dedicated his life to promoting mental health and well-being. I'm excited by this guest because he not only shares valuable insights but also speaks openly about his own experiences with mental illness, aiming to destigmatise these important issues. I like his book because it provides practical strategies for building happiness and resilience, making these concepts accessible to everyone.Episode ContentDestigmatising Mental Illness: We discuss how sharing personal stories can help reduce the stigma around mental health issues.Practical Mental Health Strategies: Learn techniques for improving mental health, similar to building physical strength at the gym.Debunking Happiness Myths: We tackle common misconceptions about happiness, including the idea that it should come naturally or that we should be happy all the time.Positive Psychology: Explore how shifting from traditional clinical psychology to positive psychology can enhance well-being.Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: Understand the balance between accepting our emotions and committing to positive actions.Toxic Positivity: Discuss the dangers of unrealistic positivity and the importance of acknowledging all emotions.Men's Mental Health: Highlight the unique challenges men face regarding mental health, including how depression can present differently in men and women.Supportive Relationships: Tips on how to be there for someone struggling with mental health without trying to "fix" them.About Dr. Tim Sharp Chief Happiness Officer – The Happiness Institute An internationally renowned leader in the field of Positive Psychology Dr. Tim Sharp (aka Dr. Happy) is a sought after Speaker and Facilitator, Consultant and Coach, Writer and Podcaster, Spokesperson and Brand Ambassador.www.drhappy.com.auhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/drtimsharphttps://www.instagram.com/thehappinessinstitutehttps://twitter.com/drhappyhttps://www.facebook.com/TheHappinessInstitute@thehappinessinstutue IG and FB ResourcesR U OK? DayBeyond BlueBlack Dog InstituteFor the full transcript and show notes, please visit the website. Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

In today’s episode, I chat with Shannon Molloy, a journalist and author whose latest book, You Made Me This Way, delves into the impact of childhood trauma and the resilience needed to overcome it. I'm excited by this guest because Shannon's insights into trauma and resilience are both profound and relatable. I like his book because it provides a raw and courageous exploration of personal and societal issues, making this conversation both enlightening and inspiring. This episode covers a deeply moving topic that's often hidden behind closed doors and only shared with a therapist or a trusted loved one. By sharing Shannon's story, I'm hoping to destigmatise this often taboo and difficult subject.In this episode, we discussShannon explains how storytelling can humanise and address difficult topics. He believes that "when you put humanity back into a topic like child sexual abuse or mental health, you bring the community along with you, and that's when you can affect real change."Shannon shares his journey in confronting and writing about his trauma. He candidly discusses the challenges he faced and the realisation that he is not alone in his struggles. "The suppression of it, I mean, and then, you know, the more I spoke to him, the more I looked into the topic, the more I realised that I'm not unique."Shannon highlights the injustices faced by men who carry the burden of untold stories. "There’s a real injustice in that, and I don’t think it’s an accident that, this is the way things are. It enraged me that there’s a not insignificant number of men walking around with this enormous burden on their shoulders, and they, for so many reasons, feel like they can never tell anyone."Quotes- "You're not broken. You're not a deviant or in some way defective. This is a scientific reaction to the most unspeakable hurt inflicted on you as a child. This isn't your fault." - Shannon Molloy- "There’s a real injustice in that, and I don’t think it’s an accident that that is the way things are. It enraged me that there’s a not insignificant number of men walking around with this enormous burden on their shoulders, and they, for so many reasons, feel like they can never tell anyone." - Shannon MolloyAbout Shannon MolloyShannon Molloy is an award-winning journalist and author with more than fifteen years' experience working for major media outlets spanning print, digital and publishing. He began his career at Fairfax in Brisbane as an award-winning news reporter and has since covered property, business, entertainment and human interest. He spent seven years working for News Corp as an entertainment reporter and feature writer, then as News Editor of news.com.au. He is currently the News Editor at realestate.com.au.Shannon was the 2020 recipient of Journalist of the Year at the Mumbrella Publish Awards. His debut book, Fourteen, a memoir about growing up gay in regional Queensland, is a critically acclaimed bestseller that was turned into a sell-out hit stage production and is now being adapted for the screen.Shannon also contributes to various charity organisations and founded the annual Clare Atkinson Memorial Scholarship for journalism at The University of Queensland.Resources Mentioned  📖 You Made Me This Way by Shannon Molloy ✉️ https://www.shannonmolloy.com.au/ Information for support services related to childhood trauma and sexual abuseLifeline AustraliaWebsite: www.lifeline.org.auPhone: 13 11 141800RESPECTWebsite: www.1800respect.org.auPhone: 1800 737 732Blue Knot FoundationWebsite: www.blueknot.org.auPhone: 1300 657 380Kids HelplineWebsite: www.kidshelpline.com.auPhone: 1800 55 1800HeadspaceWebsite: www.headspace.org.auPhone: 1800 650 890Men's Line AustraliaWebsite: www.mensline.org.auPhone: 1300 78 99 78For the full transcript and show notes please visit the website Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

Navigating Conflict and Embracing VulnerabilityIn this special Mens Health Month episode, I’m joined by John Flanagan, an Accredited Mental Health Social Worker and certified Gottman therapist. Today, we’re focusing on important aspects of men's mental health.We break down myths about men and emotional expression, explore the importance of creating supportive environments, and share practical advice on how to talk about feelings. We also explore how conflict can strengthen relationships and why validation is key to effective communication.Key PointsDebunking Myths about Men’s EmotionsJohn challenges the idea that men struggle to talk about their feelings: "I think men are very capable of engaging in conversations about what's going on in their world and inside them. It's not about a genetic flaw; it's about creating environments that encourage such conversations."Creating Supportive EnvironmentsWe discuss how to foster spaces that encourage men to share their emotions and feel safe doing so.The Role of ValidationUnderstanding how to validate someone’s feelings without agreeing with them: "You can validate and be connected or be right and be alone. Validation is about acknowledging the person's experience."Conflict as a ToolDiscover how conflict can help you understand your partner better and strengthen your relationship.Practical AdviceGet actionable tips on fostering better communication and emotional expression, including the use of open-ended questions and creating safe spaces for emotional conversations.Repairing RelationshipsLearn why making repairs after conflicts is crucial and how to do it effectively.Community SupportExplore ways to find support in your community, even outside of therapy.Featured Quotes"I think men are very capable of engaging in conversations about what's going on in their world and inside them. It's not about a genetic flaw; it's about creating environments that encourage such conversations."John  Flanagan"You can validate and be connected or be right and be alone. Validation is about acknowledging the person's experience."About your guest John has an extensive history working with and supporting individuals and couples since completing his Bachelor of Social Work in 1988 and later a Masters in Gestalt Therapy and certification in Gottman Couples Therapy.John is one of the first two Certified Gottman Couple Therapists in Australia - and only two Australians to hold the title of Certified Gottman Couple Therapist, Advanced Clinical Trainer and Consultant. Not only does John provide the accredited training for all of the Gottman Levels in Australia, he also facilitates many other trainings to professionals, key note speaking to groups as well as being a co author of '365 Simple Ideas to Improve your Relationship'John regularly has clients seek his services from all around the world.ResourcesGottman card deck app - on smartphoneBooks 7 principles to make marriage work by John Gottman8 Dates bookJohn Gottman, PhD and Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD. Doug Abrams and Rachel Carlton Abrams, MDCome as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life  Emily NagoskiFight Right How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman and Dr. John Gottman   https://www.youtube.com/@TheGottmanInstitute Contact https://www.burleighheadspsychology.com.au/ https://relationshipinstitute.com.au/The Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

In this episode of This Complex Life, I chat with Simon Rinne, a lived experience therapist who specialises in men's mental health. Simon shares his personal story with obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, anxiety, and burnout, offering a unique perspective on the challenges men face when dealing with mental health issues. Simon and I explore how depression differs between men and women, societal and cultural factors, and the importance of supportive environments.Key Topics Discussed:1. Simon's personal journey with mental health and his passion for helping others.2. Differences in how depression manifests in men and women.3. Societal and cultural influences on men's mental health.4. Common signs and symptoms of depression in men.5. Barriers men face in seeking help and how to encourage them to seek support.6. The impact of depression on daily life, relationships, and family dynamics.7. Practical strategies for couples to support each other through mental health challenges.1.      Simon on societal expectations for men:         - "Thinking back to those days, the keywords that come up for me, particularly for guys, is the suck it up, you know, culture in Australia."2.      Simon on the role of anger in men's depression:        - "Anger is the one that comes to mind and, you know, whether it's family, domestic violence, or it's just, they just feel angry with the world. Maybe they're having workplace issues or relationship issues and anger is, is, is the culturally accepted way that guys know how to deal with this stuff."3.      Simon on the importance of finding the right therapist:        - "Whenever I speak to someone, I say interview your therapist or do some research on your therapist before you go in there. Because if you go in there, oh, there's a psychologist, or they're a mental health social worker or counsellor, whoever, and they're not interested in male depression, why are you in there?"Follow Simon Rinne:- Website: https://mindful-men.com.au)- Mindful Men Podcast: Available on all major podcast platforms.Get the full show notes and transcript here Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

If you've ever wondered about the real reasons behind addiction or how to navigate social pressures around alcohol, this episode is for you. In this episode, I chat with Tara Herster, a psychologist specialising in addiction and substance use. Tara breaks down common myths about addiction and offers practical strategies for managing substance use, dealing with social pressures, and exploring sober dating. Her insights challenge the traditional views on addiction and provide a fresh perspective on coping mechanisms and building authentic connections without relying on substances.In This Episode, We Discuss:Understanding Addiction Beyond the MythsAddiction isn't about weakness or moral failure; it's often a coping mechanism.Tara's path from high school to addiction specialist.Addiction Isn't a DiseaseAddiction as a learned behaviour for dealing with stress.Tara's experiences in an inpatient psychiatric hospital.Practical Strategies for Managing Substance UseThe HALT method: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired (plus Hydrated and Health).“Anytime we are engaging in something that we don’t necessarily want to do though we just find ourselves doing it in a mindless way it’s because of HALT.”Navigating Social Pressures Around AlcoholStrategies for handling social pressures.“I appreciate, I’m just not drinking today,” or “I’ve got antibiotics.”Sober Dating: Building Authentic ConnectionsTips for dating without alcohol.The FRIES acronym: Freely Given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, and Specific.“You attract what you put out,” and “Building connections without substances can lead to more authentic relationships.”The Sober Curious MovementExploring life without alcohol.The trend among younger generations.Quotes from the Episode:Tara Hurster:“Anytime we are engaging in something that we don’t necessarily want to do though we just find ourselves doing it in a mindless way it’s because of HALT.”“Addiction is not an illness. It's not a weakness. It's not a disease. It is something that people have learned how to most effectively and most efficiently solve the problem of their experience.”Resources Mentioned:Alcohol and Drug Information Service: 1800 250 015, ADIS WebsiteConnect with Tara Hurster:Website: Tara ClinicInstagram: @taraHursterIf you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review and share it with your friends. Don't forget to subscribe for more insightful conversations on This Complex Life.Get the full transcript here Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

In this episode, I address a heartfelt question from a listener, a 62-year-old father who feels disconnected from his teenage daughters. He is eager to understand their changing interests and how to maintain a meaningful relationship despite feeling sidelined. I provide insights into adolescent development, effective communication strategies without emotional pressure, and the importance of evolving from a managerial to a consultant role in parenting.Themes:Adolescent Development: Understanding the normal shifts in behaviour and interests as teenagers seek independence and form their own identities.Effective Communication: Strategies for engaging teenagers in a way that fosters connection rather than conflict, including the use of open-ended questions and avoiding criticism.Parental Role Adaptation: Transitioning from manager to consultantKey Takeaways:Understanding Adolescence: It's normal for teenagers to seek more peer interaction and explore personal interests as part of their development.Communication Techniques: Utilising less critical and more curious approaches can help maintain a connection with teenage children.Role Adjustment: Parents can adapt their roles and approaches as their children grow, moving towards a consultative role that respects the child's growing autonomy."As parents, your job shifts from being a manager to a consultant as your child grows." — Marie"Effective communication is about curiosity, not criticism." — MarieSIGN up for Connected Teenshttps://marievakakis.com.au/courses/connected-teens/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

In this episode of "This Complex Life," I speak with Dr Lucy, We delve into the profound relationship between our mindset, eating habits, and overall well-being. Dr. Lucy, a dedicated medical practitioner and co-founder of Real Life Medicine, sheds light on the importance of understanding the psychology behind our eating patterns and moving beyond diet-centric approaches to foster a life filled with joy, energy, and health.Whether you're struggling with diet culture, seeking sustainable health solutions, or curious about the psychological aspects of eating, this conversation might be just what you needThemes:The Psychology of Eating: Exploring the impact of mindset on our eating habits and how societal pressures and diet culture contribute to our food choices.Beyond Dieting: A discussion on why focusing solely on weight loss is not the answer and how Real Life Medicine approaches health and well-being.Empowerment Through Knowledge: Understanding the role of processed foods, stress, and emotional well-being in our health journey.Key Takeaways:Mindset Matters: Our psychological state plays a significant role in our eating habits, influencing both our food choices and our relationship with food.The Fallacy of Diet Culture: Dr. Lucy highlights the limitations of dieting and the importance of focusing on overall health rather than just weight loss.Navigating Stress and Emotions: The conversation uncovers practical strategies for managing stress and emotional triggers that affect our eating patterns.Featured Quotes:"When you understand why you eat, that's the biggest piece of the puzzle." – Dr. Lucy"Processed food steals the joy of real food." – Dr. Lucy"Eating is not a team sport; it's an individual pursuit." – Dr. LucyAbout your guestDr Lucy is passionate about health. She helps women who have tried every diet under the sun optimise their health and achieve long lasting weight loss by improving metabolism and managing mindset so they can reduce the effects of chronic disease, have more energy and confidence and stop living life on the sidelines.She was an “expert dieter” and an “expert emotional eater”. She developed obesity, fatty liver and pre-diabetes. As a medical doctor, this was mortifying.  She has completely abandoned traditional dieting and embraces a real food lifestyle.Dr Lucy is a medical doctor, a lifestyle medicine physician, and is trained in many facets of psychological medicine including hypnotherapy.She runs online holistic health and weight programs with her colleague Dr Mary Barson. They have now helped thousands of women reclaim their health. They are both very real and relatable and embody their company name - Real Life MedicineRead the full transcript hereMentioned Links and Resources:Website https://www.rlmedicine.com/ The 12 week Mind Body Rebalancejoin the  wait listhttps://www.rlmedicine.com/12WMBR Free Ebook Weight Loss is all about Hormoneshttps://www.rlmedicine.com/weightloss-ebookFacebook https://www.facebook.com/reallifemedicineInstagram https://www.instagram.com/real_life_medicine/@real_life_medicineThe Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

In this episode, I address a listener's question on how to support a daughter through the trauma of sexual assault with sensitivity and without adding to her burden. Themes:Responding to Sexual Assault: Understanding the significance of a supportive response and how it can influence a survivor's recovery journey.Practical Tips for Support: I discuss tangible steps and strategies for supporting survivors, emphasising autonomy, safe spaces, and the importance of consent even in familial interactions.Navigating the Healing Process: Insights into the healing journey, acknowledging the uniqueness of each survivor's experience and the importance of patience and personal care in recovery.Key Takeaways:Believe and Support: The paramount importance of believing the survivor and offering unconditional support, understanding, and empathy.Empowering Autonomy: Strategies to empower survivors by offering choices and respecting their autonomy in the healing process.Self-care for Supporters: The necessity for supporters to seek their own support, recognising the impact of secondary trauma and ensuring they are well-equipped to provide sustained assistance.Featured Quotes:"Your support is crucial, and you can support them by believing them, being a good listener, and never blaming them." – Marie Vakakis"Approach with care and allow as much autonomy and choice as you can." – Marie Vakakis"Listen actively and with empathy, allowing her to express thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment." – Marie VakakisMentioned Links and Resources:1-800-RESPECT: A national sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling service for Australians.https://aifs.gov.au/resources/resource-sheets/mandatory-reporting-child-abuse-and-neglecthttps://fullstop.org.au/get-help/our-servicesThe Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

In today’s episode, I dive deep into the heart of self-growth and relationships with the return of esteemed guest, Dr. Jenny Brown. Join us as we explore her work on emotional maturity, based on her book, "Growing Yourself Up. How to Bring Your Best to All of Life's Relationships"Together, we uncover the nuanced ways our personal development influences and is influenced by our relationships. Dr. Brown shares enlightening insights into achieving autonomy while fostering meaningful connections, grounding her discussion in both personal experiences and Bowen Family Systems Theory. This conversation is a must-listen for anyone seeking to navigate the complexities of self and relationships with grace and wisdom.Themes:Self-Growth and Relationships: We delve into the symbiotic relationship between individual growth and our interactions with others, shedding light on the crucial role of self-awareness.Bowen Family Systems Theory: Dr. Brown demystifies this theory, making it accessible and highlighting its significance across the various stages of adult life.Navigating Autonomy and Connection: A closer look at finding balance between independence and relational ties, and the continuous journey towards maturity.Key Takeaways:The Journey of Self-Reflection: Understanding our impact within relationships is key to our personal and relational growth.Lifelong Maturity: Dr. Brown reminds us that maturity is not a destination but a journey, offering growth opportunities at every life stage.Strategies for Family Dynamics: Practical advice on maintaining one’s self in the midst of family pressures, particularly during festive seasons.Mentioned Links and Resources:Growing Yourself Up by Dr. Jenny Brown – A key resource for anyone looking to deepen their understanding of themselves and their relationships through the lens of family systems theory.Past interview with Dr Jenny Brown - Episode 78 https://marievakakis.com.au/building-stronger-parent-child-relationships-a-conversation-with-jenny-brown/ About your guest Jenny BrownDr Jenny Brown has been working in the field of child and family mental health and family therapy since the 1980’s. She has been a trainer and supervisor in the field in Australia and internationally for over 20 years. Jenny is Emeritus Executive Director of the Family Systems Institute Sydney, which she co-founded in 2004. She currently directs the Family Systems Practice and the Parent Hope Project (manualized interventions in child mental health). She is a clinical member and supervisor for the Australian Association of Family Therapy and, in 2018, received the Australian and New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy award for distinguished contribution to family therapy in Australia. In 2022 she received the annual research award from Bowen Centre for the Study of the Family in Washington DC.Connect with Jennyparenthopeproject.com.au; thefsi.com.auThe Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

In today's episode, the tables have turned as Jodi Green interviews me, discussing some of the differences between coaching and therapy.Key Insights:Coaching vs. Therapy: We discuss the distinctions between coaching and therapy in supporting folk with ADHD. We explore the differences and similaritiesImpact on Relationships: Addressing the ripple effects of ADHD on personal connections. From executive functioning challenges to time blindness and rejection sensitivity, we explore how these factors can influence the dynamics of relationships.Trial and Error in Therapy: Embracing the journey of self-discovery and experimentation. Highlighting the importance of building trust, recognising individual needs, and fostering a supportive environment for clients to voice their preferences.About your guestJodi Green''I believe in people with ADHD. I am here to be your coach and cheerleader as you find the sweet spot in your life, with ADHD in the mix. I am a certified ADHD Life Coach, and over the last 6 years I've helped hundreds of people living with ADHD. Personal and professional experience mean I know it's not easy, but I think I've figured out the perfect mix of support and coaching (IMHO!). If you are willing to believe in yourself, and want a partner to walk with you along the weekly ups and downs towards your goals, I'm your girl.''https://www.adhd-id.com.au/adhd-coach-melbourne/Connect with Marie The Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

In this episode of This Complex Life, I talk with Jodi Green, an ADHD coach about ADHD, the impact it can have on relationships and strategies for managing it.Key Takeaways:Jodi Green emphasises that ADHD coaching is not about forcing someone into doing hard things; it's more about making tasks achievable and finding strategies to make them more interesting or easier.Tipping points in life, such as transitions from high school to university or entering the workforce, can trigger a need for new strategies to cope with changing structures.Many women get diagnosed later in life, often due to shifting structures like motherhood, we discuss the importance of being open to exploring how tasks can be made more manageable.ADHD affects executive functions, such as planning, organising, and time management, which can lead to various challenges in daily life. These challenges are unique to each individual with ADHD.The impact of undiagnosed ADHD can lead to feelings of shame, self-doubt, and internalised negative beliefs. Diagnosis can provide clarity and understanding, allowing individuals to reframe their experiences.Rejection sensitivity is common in people with ADHD, and it can affect relationships. Understanding that emotional reactions are often related to ADHD symptoms can help partners provide support and empathy.Effective communication in relationships involves recognising the root causes of behaviours related to ADHD. It's important to avoid the parent-child dynamic and instead focus on collaborative problem-solving.ADHD can lead to hyperfixation on certain tasks or interests. While some tasks may be less enjoyable, Jodi suggests finding ways to make them more engaging or outsourcing them.Jodi recommends that adults who suspect they have ADHD seek a diagnosis through a psychologist or psychiatrist. Don't hesitate to seek a second opinion.The transition from high school to college or the workforce can be a tipping point for individuals with ADHD, as structures change, and new challenges emerge.Coaching can be a valuable resource for adults with ADHD, helping them identify strategies and solutions tailored to their unique challenges.In seeking a coach, it's essential to look for professionals who have received specific ADHD coaching training and, if possible, are members of the International Coach Federation (ICF) to ensure ethical standards.Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ Connect with Jodihttps://www.adhd-id.com.au/adhd-coach-melbourne/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

When was the last time you felt like your teen just wasn't listening to you? It can be incredibly frustrating, especially when you're trying to help or guide them. In this episode, I’m tackling one of the most common questions parents ask: Why doesn’t my teen listen to me anymore?We’ll explore three common reasons this happens and how you can shift your approach to improve communication. From offering advice at the right time, to balancing feedback with encouragement, and understanding how their brain is wired differently as they grow, I share some practical tips you can use to foster a better connection with your teen.Key Takeaways:Advice overload: Teens often resist advice if they haven’t been heard first. Phrases like “you should” or “if you just” can shut down communication before it starts.Empathy first: Acknowledge their emotions and give them space to explore solutions before jumping in with your own suggestions.Balancing feedback: If your conversations are mainly requests or corrections (like chores), your teen may feel unseen or criticised. Be mindful to balance this with recognising their efforts and strengths.Brain changes: As teens grow, their brains respond more to external voices and new stimuli. It’s not personal, but it does mean you might need to adjust how you grab their attention.Positive reinforcement: Compliments on things outside of chores, like their loyalty to friends or efforts in school, can make everyday requests feel less critical.Timing matters: Suggesting a break or circling back to a conversation later can give your teen the space they need to process without feeling overwhelmed.Resources:If you missed it, check out yesterday’s episode on Why won’t my teen talk to me after school? for more insights on teen communication.Join me tomorrow as I answer the question: Why doesn’t my teen want to spend time with the family? It’s an important one, so stay tuned!connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

As a parent, it can be frustrating when your teen walks through the door after school, and your questions about their day are met with silence, eye rolls, or a quick retreat to their bedroom. In this mini episode of This Complex Life, I talk about why teens often shut down after a long day at school and how you can create space for connection without overwhelming them.Teens are navigating a lot at school noise, changing classes, social interactions, and often long public transport rides home. By the time they walk through the door, they’re often overstimulated and in need of some serious downtime. In this episode, I share tips on how to approach your teen in a way that respects their need to decompress while also maintaining a strong connection.Key Takeaways:After a long, busy day, teens often feel overstimulated and need time to decompress before they're ready to engage in conversation.Instead of asking “How was your day?” right away, try greeting them with a simple “Nice to see you,” and allow some time for them to unwind.It’s okay to give your teen space after school and reconnect with them later when they’re more relaxed.Being specific about their interests (like asking about a sports game or a friend) might get a better response than general questions about school.Remember, even after-school activities can add to their mental load, so they might not be ready to talk until after dinner.Every teen is different; while some might enjoy chatting right away, others will appreciate the time to relax first.By giving your teen the space they need after a long day, you’ll find it easier to connect when they’re ready. Join me tomorrow for the next mini-episode, where I’ll talk about “Why Doesn’t My Teen Listen to Me Anymore?”The Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

I speak about some of the unique challenges parents often face as their children transition into their teenage years. This phase can be a time of perceived rejection as teens assert their independence, leaving parents feeling less needed.Key takeaways:Understanding the Transition:Adolescence marks a significant shift from childhood to the teenage years, accompanied by changes in friendship groups and the move to high school.Teens naturally seek independence and autonomy as they explore their identities, often making parents feel rejected or unneeded.Shifting Roles:Parents must recognise the change from a "manager" role to a "consultant." Your position description evolves, but you remain a crucial part of your teen's life.Avoid responding as if you've been "fired" from your role. Instead, consider how you can adapt to this new position as a consultant.Managing Your Reactions:Reflect on how you respond to situations that might feel like rejection. Identify the specific triggers and your emotional reactions, such as sadness, loneliness, or frustration.Avoid projecting your hurt onto your teen. Be aware that your emotions are shaped by your interpretation of their actions.Open and Honest Communication:Use clear, non-judgmental language to express your desire for connection. Instead of passive-aggressive comments, be direct about your wishes.Modelling Accountability:Apologise and take responsibility for your reactions when you react poorly to a situation.Encourage your teen to communicate their feelings without feeling responsible for your emotions.Addressing Hurtful Comments:When your teen makes hurtful comments, such as "I hate you," try to identify the underlying emotion, like disappointment or anger.Address the specific emotion rather than justifying your actions. Show understanding and empathy.Setting Boundaries:Establish healthy boundaries to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Clearly communicate what you can and can't do to manage your time and commitments.Teach your teen the importance of setting boundaries by respecting their limits as well.Prioritising Self-Care:Self-care is essential to maintaining your well-being and role-modeling emotional resilience.Demonstrating your ability to handle ups and downs calmly and collectedly can positively impact your teen's emotional development.Remember, it takes a calm brain to calm a brain. By focusing on understanding, empathy, and effective communication, you can navigate the challenges of this phase with your teenager while maintaining a strong and supportive relationship. Get the full transcript here Connected Teens on sale NOWhttps://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/ Get the free ebook https://marievakakis.com.au/my-teen-wont-talk-to-me/connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Book your spot nowGrab your ticket to Connected Teens --> https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/ Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

In today's episode, we delve into a complex and deeply human emotion: rejection. It's a feeling that touches all of us at some point or another, and it's something that we all need to navigate.Key Takeaways:Rejection is a normal feeling. It's often closely associated with sadness Rejection can show up following a range of situations from not getting a job to the end of a relationship, and it can be emotionally crushing.Our core beliefs and self-esteem play a pivotal role in how we process and respond to rejection.Rejection can also impact our self-esteem - the two can be closely linkedOur brains don't like ambiguity, so they create stories to fill in the gaps when we face rejection. These stories can perpetuate negative beliefs about ourselves.How we respond to rejection can have a profound impact on our relationships and mental health.We're hardwired for connection, and our brains interpret rejection as physical pain. This explains why rejection can feel so agonizing.Some individuals have heightened sensitivities to rejection, which can stem from early experiences or conditions like ADHD.Rejection can lead to a sense of learned helplessness, which can further damage our self-esteem In part one of this two-part series, we've explored the nuances of rejection and its profound impact on our lives. We've uncovered how our core beliefs, self-esteem, and responses play a role in how we experience rejection. Stay tuned for part two, where we delve into the complexities of rejection in parenting, particularly during the challenging transition from childhood to adolescence.Mentioned in this episode:Book your spot nowGrab your ticket to Connected Teens --> https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/ Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

In this episode, I had the pleasure of speaking with Jenny Brown, who has developed a project aimed at supporting parents in navigating the challenges of parenting adolescents.I first came across Jenny in my family therapy studies, and her work has left a lasting impression on me. Her dedication to understanding and helping parents in their journey of raising kids and teenagers has been influential in my own work as a family therapist.Throughout our discussion, we touched upon various aspects of parenting during the adolescent years. Jenny shares her expertise and offers valuable insights and guidance on improving parent-child relationships.Key takeawaysBackground and Project: Jenny Brown discusses how the Parent Hope Project is rooted in her earlier article, "We Don't Need Your Help But Can You Please Fix Our Children?" She emphasises the importance of involving parents in therapy, as the parent-child relationship is a crucial part of the therapeutic process.Communication and Tone: Jenny and I talk about the importance of effective communication between parents and adolescents. We highlight the significance of shifting from a controlling or passive-aggressive tone to one that encourages open dialogue and collaboration.Empathy and Understanding: The conversation emphasises the importance of empathy for parents and young people. Understanding the challenges and mixed messages that adolescents often convey and how parents can navigate some of these difficult conversationsMaking a Project out of Yourself: Jenny advises parents to shift their focus from trying to change their child to making a project out of themselves. This means being aware of their emotional tone, adjusting their communication, and allowing their child space to grow and develop their own identity.About JennyDr Jenny Brown has been working in the field of child and family mental health and family therapy since the 1980’s. She has been a trainer and supervisor in the field in Australia and internationally for over 20 years. Jenny is Emeritus Executive Director of the Family Systems Institute Sydney, which she co-founded in 2004. She currently directs the Family Systems Practice and the Parent Hope Project (manualized interventions in child mental health). She is a clinical member and supervisor for the Australian Association of Family Therapy and, in 2018, received the Australian and New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy award for distinguished contribution to family therapy in Australia. In 2022 she received the annual research award from Bowen Centre for the Study of the Family in Washington DC.parenthopeproject.com.au; thefsi.com.au; https://www.cambridgescholars.com/product/978-1-5275-1748-6 25% Discounted Code: PROMO25connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Book your spot nowGrab your ticket to Connected Teens --> https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/ Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

In this episode, I explore the importance of preparing for therapy and what to expect. This podcast episode emphasises the importance of preparing for therapy by clarifying goals and expectations. It debunks common therapy myths, offers strategies to manage pre-session anxiety, and highlights the significance of building trust and effective communication with a therapist for a successful therapeutic journey.Before booking your first session, it's helpful to consider what you want to achieve through therapy. This clarity can help you choose the right therapist and focus your efforts effectively.Questions to Reflect On:Why Are You Seeking Therapy Now? Understanding the trigger for seeking therapy can provide valuable context for your sessions.What Are Your Hopes and Expectations? Define what you want to achieve through therapy and discuss these expectations with your therapist.What Goals Do You Want to Work On? Identify specific behaviours or changes you'd like to see in your life.Managing Pre-Session Anxiety: It's common to feel nervous before your first therapy session. You can prepare by reflecting on your feelings and using resources like workbooks to structure your thoughts.Common Myths About Therapy:Myth 1: Believing that nothing can help your problems is limiting. Therapy can shed light on patterns and beliefs that impact your life.Myth 2: Expecting others to change without considering your role in relationships is unproductive. Therapy often involves self-awareness and personal growthBuilding Trust with Your Therapist: Trust in therapy is a two-way street. Communicate openly with your therapist about your needs, challenges, and preferences. It's essential to feel comfortable and aligned with your therapist's approach.Effective Communication with Your Therapist: Establish a communication style that suits you. Whether it's sharing feedback, asking questions, or requesting specific support, open dialogue can enhance your therapeutic experience.Remember, therapy is a collaborative process, and finding the right therapist for you is essential. If you ever feel uncomfortable or that your therapist isn't a good fit, it's okay to explore other options. Get in touch with Marie [email protected]://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Get the journal https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

In this podcast episode, I'm addressing the significance of "R U OK? Day," which falls on September 14th. This day serves as a reminder to discuss mental health and suicide prevention. I talk briefly about the history of R U OK? Day and its transformation into a vital social movement dedicated to preventing suicides.Throughout the episode, I share some statistics related to suicide in Australia and the importance of sensitive language when discussing this topic. I debunk some common myths about suicide, such as the misconception that people who talk about it are merely seeking attention. I also stress that suicides often come with warning signs, and they can affect anyone, not just those with diagnosed mental illnesses.Here are four essential tips for engaging in conversations about suicide:Direct Communication: Approach someone you suspect may be struggling with suicidal thoughts with clear and direct questions. Ask if they're having thoughts of ending their life. Avoid vague or judgmental language.Provide Support: If the person admits to having suicidal thoughts, work together to keep them safe. Connect them with appropriate professional help, such as a GP or a suicide hotline.Follow Up: After initial contact with professional help, check in with the individual. Show that you care and want to support them through their journey.Normalise Conversations: Encourage open discussions about mental health and suicide prevention. Seek out resources and training programs to improve your communication skills in this crucial area.Remember that your support as a compassionate friend can make a significant difference. Suicide knows no boundaries, and the more comfortable we become with these conversations, the better equipped we are to help those in need.For additional resources and training programs, please refer to the links and information provided below.Resourceshttps://www.ruok.org.au/https://www.lifeline.org.au/https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/ https://mhfa.com.au/connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/