The Really Awful Movies Podcast

“Those fingers in my hair That sly come hither stare That strips my conscience bare It’s witchcraft…” The Witch is a horror period drama that (deservedly) took the horror world by storm. It’s a polarizing movie. We like it a lot (to varying degrees) but audiences were left cold compared with the critical reception. A Puritan family battles the wilderness, each other, and of course, the title character in this heavy, biblical and atmospheric feature. Was The Witch worthy of the hype or the inevitable backlash? Have a listen and find out, as we discuss one of the better horror films of the year.  

It’s hard to believe it’s been 20 years since SCREAM. The film’s hella fun, but polarizing, as some people aren’t as enamored with its self-referential, ironic tone. Still, with a cast like that (C’mon, Barrymore/Cox/Campbell/Arquette) it’s still one for the ages and the iconic killer has stood the test of time, even if he doesn’t kill with the same ruthlessness and unstoppability of a Mr. Voorhees or a Mr. Myers. A look back at Ghostface, Wes Craven and the comedy horror of Scream on Ep 141 of the Really Awful Movies Podcast.

1950s creature features are fun. In Episode 140, we examine THE CURSE OF THE FACELESS MAN. It’s about a slave victim of the 79 AD Pompeii earthquake who re-animates then hunts the reincarnated spirit of a Roman noblewoman. Forensics experts and anthropologists investigate. It’s much less entertaining than it sounds. Should’ve stuck with The Volcano man, like it says on the poster.

A bit deceptive, as the microwave is not actually used to kill…only to reheat…But still, MICROWAVE MASSACRE is a fun movie with a unique killing implement that could’ve made its way into our book, DEATH BY UMBRELLA! The 100 Weirdest Horror Movie Weapons. You got a man…and all he wants is a sandwich. However, his wife keeps making him high-falutin’ meals that aren’t sustaining him down at the construction site. What does he do? Check out the movie! The film stars the King of Deadpan, Jackie Vernon.

Don’t Go in the House. Don’t Go in the Woods. Don’t Go in the Basement. But DO check out Don’t Answer the Phone!, a highly underrated 1980 horror directed by the excellently named Robert Hammer. It’s got everything, and by that we mean a psychotic, weeping, daddy-issues Vietnam vet killer who poses as a photographer; his nubile victims; ineffectual LAPD investigators, a Dr Fraser Crane-type radio host…and much much more. Nicholas Worth (Swamp Thing/Darkman) gives an extraordinarily interesting performance as killer Kirk Smith.  

The Village People movie! Yes, Can’t Stop the Music follows the exploits of the infamous 70s disco group whose hits like YMCA and Macho Man are absolutely impossible to avoid (no matter how hard we’ve tried). Go to a sporting event…and you’re bound to hear the da-da-da…and “young men,” etc, etc As a bonus: in this film you get a young, roller skating Steve Guttenberg in the lead role and a pre-Caitlyn Bruce Jenner. And you get to find out how the group formed and got its name. Directed by Nancy Walker (The Mary Tyler Moore Show), Can’t Stop the Music is the first…yes…the first…Razzie Worst Picture winner. Is it deserving of all the scorn? Mostly, but not quite. With a budget of $20 million, the film was released at the tail end of the disco movement and was an absolute flop. Join us as we assess Can’t Stop the Music.

A rather tepid offering from the slasher boom, FINAL EXAM doesn’t live up to the promise of its cool poster. We get lots of backstory/investment in a bunch of rather tedious characters including the stock nerd, jock, final girl, hot blonde, taskmaster gym teacher, etc. The killer is about as unremarkable as you can get. Still, worth checking out for horror completists. Join us…and see if Final Exam…passes the test. https://reallyawfulmovies.com/

Ultra Warrior is a pastiche…Ah, forget the fancy verbiage…who are we kidding? It’s cobbled together stock footage crap! The film takes leftover Corman footage, combining outer space, horror films and dystopian into one bizarro experience. Starring Dack Rambo (that is his real surname), the film focuses on the land of Oblivion, the entire area of the eastern seaboard, east of Kansas City (?). Oblivion has mining materials that need to be exploited so the humans who managed to survive a nuclear apocalypse can use the fruits of their labors as ingredients for anti-alien weaponry. It doesn’t make a lick of sense, but that’s what you get when footage from at least 10 other films is used. Oh, and one group of people exploit another, genetic mutations known as “muties.” Good fun.

Our first podcast foray into J-horror with a bit of Japanese weirdness, EXTE by Sion Sono. Sono (Suicide Club) is an odd duck and his movies are infused with strange set-pieces. And it goes without saying, they’re not to everyone’s taste. In this episode, we chat about the cultural phenomenon of hair, where it grows, how it’s styled, what to do when it’s lost. J-horror, K-horror, and the depiction of Japanese culture in this film, which is about demonic hair extensions.

This week, the Cronenberg classic, arguably his best film, Videodrome. It’s certainly up there with The Fly or Crash. We delve into the Toronto TV station that partly inspired the film, the media musings of Marshall McLuhan, the changing media landscape, where this film fits into David’s oeuvre, and of course…gore, gore and more gore! It’s a thrill to see Toronto as Toronto and not New York. And what better way to showcase our hometown than this masterful film, which stars James Woods, Sonja Smits and Blondie singer Debbie Harry. Long live the new flesh!

Some werewolf Canadiana this week courtesy of Ginger Snaps. It’s a terrific feature that deserves to be mentioned in the same breath as Wolfen or The Howling. A solid coming-of-age horror set in a high school, Ginger Snaps is must viewing for fans of Canadian horror, werewolf films, or both. Recommended. Be sure to check out our discussion after (or before) watching the film.

A murdered teen returns from the grave to seek vengeance… On this special episode of the podcast, the forthcoming film, Johnny Gruesome, directed by Greg Lamberson (Slime City and Killer Rack). The movie wrapped up principal photography in New York State and Jeff had the pleasure of visiting the set and chatting with: April Ann (co-star) John Renna (co-producer) Greg Lamberson (director) Craig Lindberg (special effects) and Anthony De La Torre (star) A big thanks to Greg for the invite and to all the awesome guys and gals on the set of Johnny Gruesome!

On this episode of the podcast, our segment, CRAP OF THE WEEK where we spring movies on one another, unplanned and unencumbered by pesky research. First up, who knew Motown was involved in film production? Barry Gordy was the man behind the scenes for the bizarre The Last Dragon. Directed by Michael Schultz (Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band and Cooley High), this martial arts exploitation musical came out in 1985 and stars Taimak and Vanity, two one-named stars a la Cher or Adele, except not famous. Set in The Big Apple, the movie follows a martial artist named Leroy Green (a/k/a Bruce Leroy), who has dreams of becoming an iconic martial artist like his idol Bruce Lee. Another martial artist, competitor Sho’nuff (!) sees Leroy as the only obstacle to being the true master of martial arts. Not surprisingly, this received a critical drubbing. Were they right? Listen for yourself! Part II of this discussion features the largely forgettable but well-executed flick Wrong Turn, which has, for some reason, generated numerous sequels. It’s a typical lost-in-the-woods slasher flick, unique in that Hamilton, Ontario substitutes for the wilds of West Virginia. Desmond Harrington (Quinn from Dexter) is a doctor who gets in a car accident and finds himself stranded in the backwoods with some cyclists whose vehicle has been disabled. Unfortunately, the woods are inhabited by cannibal inbred hillbilly psychopaths! Eliza Dushku and Emmanuelle Chriqui co-star.

Planet of the Vampires is 100% vampire-free. But who cares, right? It’s freakin’ Bava, people. And a little Super Mario goes a long way, even if this isn’t the genre he’s best known for. Because… We got space ships. We got explorers. We got mysterious space signals. We got doodads, knobs, levers…we got weird planets, weirder spacesuits…what more do we need? Join us, strap yourselves in as we venture into deep space for this episode of the Really Awful Movies Podcast.

Montreal’s Fantasia International Film Festival is an incredible genre film festival that’s been going strong since the mid 1990s, “the most important and prestigious genre festival on the continent” according to Quentin Tarantino. Jeff from the Really Awful Movies Podcast had the pleasure of attending the Fest for the first time this summer. On this episode, a focus on three stellar film standouts: The Unseen, Bed of the Dead and Some Freaks. Please see the list of interviewees below: THE UNSEEN: Writer/Director Geoff Redknap (Makeup/effects for Deadpool/The Cabin in the Woods) BED OF THE DEAD: Director and co-writer Jeff Maher, co-writer Cody Calahan, actor Colin Price, producers Chad Archibald and Christopher Giroux. SOME FREAKS: Writer/director Ian MacAllister-McDonald and actress Lily Mae Harrington.

This week, a look at the exemplary summer camp slasher, The Burning. The horror is based on a New York state urban legend, Cropsey. Legendary effects guru Tom Savini (Maniac/Dawn of the Dead) is the man behind the awesome effects here. For a slasher, there’s a lot of investment in the characters in The Burning…and why not? We’ve got the likes of Holly Hunter, Fisher Stevens, and yes…George Costanza himself, a hirsute Jason Alexander. Do yourself a favor and watch this.

There are many ways to finance a dream restaurant – line of credit, bank loan, angel investors – but none of these include robbing people from the personal ads. Unless of course, it’s EATING RAOUL, a zany 1982 black comedy and brainchild of co-star Paul Bartel. This film is rightly “a tasty comedy of bad manners.” The Blands, an uptight couple, find they can finance their dream boite by luring swingers to their LA homestead, murdering and then robbing them. They conspire with thieving locksmith Raoul, who helps them dispose of the bodies. Terrific fun.

Is that you Norman? You better believe it. Anthony Perkins reprises his iconic role as creepy innkeeper Noman Bates in the long-after sequel to the Hitch original. On today’s episode, Psycho II. Does it live up to the lofty standard set in the 60s? Surprisingly, yes. Let’s peer behind the shower curtain to see what lurks…as Norman is released from prison to attempt to resume some semblance of a normal life. The Bates Motel is back open for business!

Steven Spielberg’s Jaws is one of the defining classics of our age. Jaws 3-D. Um. Not so much. When a 10-foot great white gets into a Seaworld lagoon, that’s a problem. But an even bigger problem, literally, is its mother, a 35-foot behemoth the size of a city bus and only slightly less unpleasant. Dennis Quaid, son of Sheriff Brody and company are tasked with ridding the creature from the amusement park and nearby beaches. Will he need a bigger boat? A bigger budget? Find out in our JAWS 3-D podcast! Yes, we actually viewed it in 3-D. Lea Thompson, Louis Gossett and Bess Armstrong co-star in this fun, if water-logged, dud.

This week, Pascal Laugier’s excellent and devastatingly effective horror MARTYRS. Stellar performances by Mylène Jampanoï and Morjana Alaoui propel this captivating story of Lucie and Anna, two friends who grew up at the same orphanage, one of whom (Lucie) was rescued from an abattoir were sinister experimentations took place. A home invasion / revenge / supernatural / torture horror, Martyrs defies expectations and categorization. We urge listeners to check out this genre-defining 2008 film before tuning into this week’s podcast. There will be spoilers aplenty. Over at Shock Till You Drop they said (rightly) the film is “the new yard stick against which all forms of extreme genre films should be measured against…”  

Popping vitamins and saying our prayers with the second Hulk Hogan movie we’ve endured on the podcast, 1989’s NO HOLDS BARRED. A network with sagging ratings tries to boost their brand by signing the world’s top wrestling draw, Rip (The Hulkster). When he balks, they produce their own long-form political drama for HBO, become hugely successful, and the rest is history. Just kidding. They do what any major network would do under the circumstances: attempt a kidnapping, bait the competition with a seductress, then stage a cage fighting tournament for television, featuring a cross-eyed psychopath straight outta prison. No Holds Barred combines the logic-defying zaniness of a Cannon film (even though it’s New Line), with the crappiness of a WWE production. The Washington Post said it has a “script that seems to be a collaboration between Hogan’s publicists and Hollywood hacks who somehow missed “Rocky” and its progeny…” Featuring a generous 11% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes, No Holds Barred was promoted on WWE via “No Holds Barred: The Match/The Movie. The matches were no great shakes either (The Ultimate Warrior is on the undercard) and the federation remains embarrassed enough that this isn’t available on their network/website. When it comes crashing down and it hurts inside…

Death. We’re all scared, well…to death of it. In this episode, we look at the concept of death, about which Mark Twain said, “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. Easy for him to say. Not so much for the rest of us. We examine how different cultures deal with death, how we’d like to meet our makers, what scares us the most…and of course, horror movie deaths. Join us, for what is a bit of a morbid episode of the Really Awful Movies Podcast.

Little Jamie has a problem. Well, he’s got a lot of problems. For starters, he’s got an unhealthy obsession with his babysitter. He’s got no friends. He’s ignored by his parents, who basically aren’t in the picture. And then there’s all this business about the pit. The Pit is an underseen 1981 horror, in which a 12-year old kid finds a hole in the middle of a forest. In it dwell furry creatures that, in his mind, need to be fed or else will emerge to feed on people. Jamie feeds them, first by procuring meat from the local butcher, then by resorting to other, very devious means. The Pit is a very odd Canadian production lensed in Wisconsin, and features a pretty terrific performance by Sammy Snyders as the youngster. It’s achieved cult status for it’s very uniquely bizarre premise. Take a listen and try and track down this film. You’ll be glad you did.

On this week’s episode, the insane Sean Connery sci-fi oddity, Zardoz. In a dystopian future, 2293, humans are subdivided into Eternals and Brutals, and live in The Vortex. The latter is all Id: acting like rampaging Vikings or Mongols. The former, peaceniks who lead an agrarian sexless, dull existence, but with the added benefit (or curse) of being immortal. Sean Connery is Zed, a Brutal Exterminator, who hides aboard Zardoz, a giant floating head, temporarily “killing” its Eternal operator-creator Arthur Frayn. And then things get weird! Slap on your codpiece, show off that chest hair and join us for a journey to planet weird for the oddly fun Zardoz.

An art-house vampire flick, Nosferatu the Vampyre is the brainchild of auteur German filmmaker Werner Herzog. Originally known as Phantom der Nacht, it’s set in northern Germany and Romania’s Transylvania and is a pretty faithful redo of the 1922 silent Dracula classic, Nosferatu. The film stars Klaus Kinski, Bruno Ganz and Isabelle Adjani. On this episode, we compare this version with the indelible Weimar-era classic and break down the film oeuvre of Herzog and his frequent favorite Klaus Kinski.

In this special episode of the Really Awful Movies Podcast, show regular Scott Drebit (columnist over at Daily Dead) joins us to discuss all things Carpenter. First, we examine the awesome urban scum thriller Assault on Precinct 13, where a cop finds himself trapped in an abandoned police station with lifers, doing battle with a gang invasion. Then The Fog, a 1980 Jamie Lee Curtis / Tom Atkins horror film set in a California fishing village where ghostly sailors exact revenge on townsfolk celebrating their centenary. Later in the show, we chat about John Carpenter and the news that he’s returning to Halloween. We examine what we expect from Blumhouse, who has taken the reins of the franchise, and what Carpenter may be bringing to the table when it comes to this reemergence of The Shape. Check out Scott’s handiwork over at Daily Dead: Drive-in Dust Offs and check out our site, https://reallyawfulmovies.com/

In this special edition of the Really Awful Movies Podcast, Jeff interviews a slew of luminaries who attended the Shock Stock horror convention in Southwestern Ontario this summer. In this episode, we get to hear from: Dan Hicks. Hicks is best known for his roles in Evil Dead II, Darkman and also, Intruder, one of the coolest and most overlooked slashers of the 1980s. Mink Stole. Baltimore-born Stole is a longtime friend and collaborator of John Waters. Born Nancy Paine Stoll, she of course is known to our listeners for her amazing roles in Pink Flamingos, Polyester and Hairspray and many many others. An ordained minister, Stole has five decades’ experience in film and television. Kevin Van Hentenryck was the extraordinarily memorable (and not just for his hair), Duane from the sweet and scary Frank Henenlotter romp, Basket Case, a film which perfectly captures the NYC grind-house aesthetic of the time. Kleio Valentien broke the internet recently, with her parody Ronda Arouse Me, an, ahem, unique take on the big UFC fight between Miesha Tate and Ronda Rousey: http://uproxx.com/filmdrunk/ronda-rousey-porn-parody-trailer/ Doyle Wolfgang von Frankenstein is the towering axeman in the Misfits, who’ve reunited with metal belter Glenn Danzig and Jerry Only. If you don’t know their music, you most certainly know their logo, perhaps second only to Motorhead or the Ramones in ubiquity. One of the coolest graphics you’ll ever see, inspired by The Crimson Ghost. Ari Lehman is the first Jason! He was a child actor in the seminal first Crystal Lake terror. He talks about his film career and how it informs his new role as a musician. Greg Lamberson directed one of our absolute favorites, the wonderfully quirky Slime City. The Buffalo resident recently directed the fun (and mammary) filled Killer Rack. A Michael Baldwin was cast at age 13 for the role of Michael in The Tall Man indelible horror classic Phantasm. Robin Bougie is an underground comic artist, best known for his amazing Cinema Sewer and Graphic Thrills. Lloyd Kaufman needs no introduction! The Troma legend wrote the foreword to our book, DEATH BY UMBRELLA! The 100 Weirdest Horror Movie Weapons.

Roving bandits…sand…lots of sand…leather…more sand. We’re in post-apocalyptic territory this week with the silly and fun STRYKER. There’s a battle over scant resources…in this case, a spring inside a cave that’s controlled by female Amazon warriors. Naturally, there’s a group of villainous marauding hordes who want it all to themselves. What will happen? Who will lead our intrepid heroes against this iniquitous force? What’s the story with the midget allies? Come with us to our favorite place in Southeast Asia (to visit cinematically at least), and that’s the Philippines. This one is the brainchild of the incomparable Cirio Santiago, who’s brought us Caged Fury, Death Force, Vampire Hookers and TNT Jackson. He’s a unique talent. And Stryker is a unique movie, one of the more fun Mad Max knock-offs.

A mysterious ship is adrift in the Hudson River…Authorities board her, and they encounter gooey green eggs. Instead of approaching with caution, one of them grabs the strange cargo. BOOM! That’s the end of this government official. Contamination is a 1980 Italian / German co-production, a science fiction-horror film directed by Luigi Cozzi and starring Ian McCulloch (Dr. Butcher MD). Colonel Holmes establishes a link between these green objects and a Mars mission that ended badly for one Commander Hubbard. And from there, the plot thickens. Goofy, gory Italian fun on this week’s episode of the podcast.

Folk horror reached its apotheosis with The Wicker Man. While Children of the Corn doesn’t reach the same heights, it’s still pretty darn cool. Vicky and Burt are criss-crossing the US en route to Seattle so he can pursue interests in the medical profession. Along the way, a kid dressed in Amish garb wanders out onto the highway and is struck and killed. Burt finds out that while his car dealt the fatal blow, the kid’s throat had been cut. They put him in the trunk of their car and seek out the nearest town, which is the elusive Gatlin, Nebraska. There, they meet with…an evil presence. Another Stephen King adaptation he doesn’t like, we take a peek at “he who walks behind the rows…”

Serene, leisurely, dialogue-driven western with bursts of extreme horror violence, Bone Tomahawk is a very unique film indeed. When three people are kidnapped from a frontier town, the law hauls in a native guide to see if he knows what’s happened. He claims it wasn’t the work of his tribe at all, but the handiwork of a group of “troglodytes” who live in the foothills. Immediately, a search party, or uh…because this is a western…a POSSE is formed, led by the sheriff (Kurt Russell), along with his aged deputy (Richard Jenkins), a young hothead (Matthew Fox) and the husband of one of the missing (Patrick Wilson). They have no idea what’s in store for them. Bone Tomahawk is one of the top horror films from 2015, even if it’s not really a true horror. Listen for yourself. Caveat: there may be some spoilers. We urge listeners to watch this one. https://reallyawfulmovies.com/2016/05/09/bone-tomahawk/

Ron Becks is…HUNTER. He’s a “mystical cop” and this $200,000 (but looks much cheaper) California action flick is mystifying. Directed by Gregory Hatanaka (Samurai Cop 2) we’re introduced to the very zen Tony Robbins platitude dispenser, Hunter. He happens to work for LAPD’s International Sex Crimes Unit. Hunter is a bewildering figure, a self help guru and a formidable jazz man (cough) who shakes down drug dealers and swigs Makers Mark from the bottle. He becomes embroiled in quite a caper, the murder of several of his fellow officers. All the while, he becomes a reluctant guardian to a teen runaway from the “backwoods of Tennessee” (yes, that’s the caption). Bizarre, hilarious and inept, Hunter is must-see material. And you’ll be surprised to see George Lazenby in a supporting role (maybe as surprised as he was to be in this). Here is the trailer and link to our review: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmGBzCauXSk https://reallyawfulmovies.com/2016/02/03/hunter/

This addition to the Friday the 13th franchise finds Jason Voorhees still finding his form/ identity. Pre-hockey mask, this is the butcher of Camp Crystal Lake in pillow-case face regalia, a la the killer from The Town that Dreaded Sundown. And unlike in later incarnations, he has to really work to kill his victims. Also, Jason’s not yet the physically imposing indestructible automaton he’d later become. Grab a hat, some insect repellent and short shorts and join us in that cabin in the woods for camp counselor orientation weekend as we discuss Friday the 13th Part II.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 is the polarizing follow up to the 1974 classic. The poster artwork alone (an homage to The Breakfast Club) indicates that this one may not be true to the gritty tone of the original, but is in many ways, an over-the-top parody. And like many sequels, there are new characters.There’s the cackling, ghoulish addition to the First Family of the Saw, Chop Top (Bill Mosely). And on his tail, disgraced lawman Lefty (Dennis Hopper), with assistance from local Texas DJ, Stretch (Caroline Williams). And still present, the Methuselah of the Sawyers, the very very aged Grandpa, and of course, the Cook and Leatherface. Look out for a cool song by The Police’s Stewart Copeland and the usual killer effects from Tom Savini.

A seemingly straight-ahead rape-revenge flick that veers into totally unforeseen directions, Dangerous Men is the brainchild of Iranian immigrant John S. Rad, and took 26 years to complete (!) And the final product shows – literally – as there are calendars from 1983 and rock Ts from 1991. There are subplots that disappear into thin air, and new protagonists emerge with less of a backstory than your average WWE house show undercard. Still, Slash Film said Dangerous Men is “bursting with imagination and life.” No doubt. Listen to what drives Mina to kill…DANGEROUS MEN.    

Peter Cushing. Christopher Lee. What more do you need? As a bonus, there’s Telly Savalas. And a mad monk. Horror Express, a.k.a Pánico en el Transiberiano in mellifluous Spanish (Panic on the Trans-Siberian Express) is a 1972 Spanish-British science fiction-horror film produced by Bernard Gordon and Gregorio Sacristan, and directed by Eugenio Martín. The latter worked with Telly Savalas again a year later in Pancho Villa. In Horror Express, a train is transporting mysterious cargo belonging to anthropologist Dr. Saxton (played by the incomparable Christopher Lee). The contents of the freight include a frozen, hairy missing link-type creature found in Manchuria. Naturally, curiosity gets the better of a few of the passengers – to their peril! Listen to our take on this 1972 classic, reminiscent of some of the Hammer Horror films kicking around at the time.

Larry Cohen territory on this episode. He’s the man behind It’s Alive and also The Stuff. The Stuff (Michael Moriarty/Paul Sorvino) is about a marshmallow / yogurt-like substance that’s a hit with consumers…however, it turns out: it’s alive! A consumer satire / creature feature, this is one interesting flick. Everything Cohen does is idea-driven. No nubiles being hacked by machete at a remote campground. The film features industrial espionage, an industrious kid, and even an FDA-type bureaucrat played by none other than Danny Aiello. The eagle-eyed will spot Eric Bogosian and Patrick Dempsey in barely-speaking roles. BIG THANKS TO THE INCREDIBLE ARROW FILMS FOR THE REVIEW COPY. http://www.arrowfilms.co.uk/

An American hero’s story continues… Or does it begin? Missing in Action 2 was supposed to be released as the first. Why? Because it’s a Cannon film! No explanation needed. On this episode, a look at the Chuck Norris film, our first foray into all things Carlos Ray Norris, karate black belt / meme machine. Does it hold up? Does a bear being chased by Chuck Norris shit in the woods? All Cannon films are awesome. It’s a fact. For reviews, be sure to check out our book, DEATH BY UMBRELLA! THE 100 WEIRDEST HORROR MOVIE WEAPONS

The Sinful Dwarf is a raunchy 1973 Danish exploitation film available in limited edition Blu-Ray (pick it up at Severin Films https://severin-films.com/shop/the-sinful-dwarf-blu-ray/) Dwarf Olaf lives with his boozy, aged mother, who runs both a bed & breakfast (well, more of a flophouse / rooming house) and also, in its attic, a heroin slavery ring. Olaf does her bidding, securing women for mom’s business. A couple in financial straits has to stay at this place until the husband finds more consistent employment (must be tough, he’s a TV writer). When he’s away on business, the missus is turned out. Experience “the mother of all Dwarfsploitation films” with us.

Stan Winston’s 1988 feature, Pumpkinhead. It’s polarizing, undeniably original, yet somehow unfulfilling. Either way, it’s worth a look. There’s a prologue featuring a family out in a cabin in the woods (always good) and something scary lurking therein. Fast forward and the boy who saw something untoward is all grown up (Lance Henriksen portrays Ed Harley), with a son of his own and running a general store. Who should happen by? A bunch of college kids on a dirt bike vacation. When out acting crazily and impulsively, a tragedy occurs. And it’s the fault of those no-good kids. As a result, dad has to exact revenge, which he does by proxy – by way of the eponymous creature. Join us as we discuss Pumpkinhead!

An unlikely, though very strong, candidate for one of the worst comedies of all time, The Master of Disguise is billed as “1000 faces…and not a single clue.” The latter could be an indictment of whoever financed this, a film with a potential audience of basically nobody. It’s too advanced for kids, yet too dumb for adults; its mired in a middle of nothing. But don’t take our word for it. Sitting at 1% on Rotten Tomatoes, the M of D is essentially an excuse for Dana Carvey to do one inept impression after another. He likely cashed in a few favors, as improbably, legit actors like James Brolin, Jennifer Esposito and Brent Spiner are along for the ride. This thing is absolutely unbearable, even at a scant 90 minutes. On Episode 104, we get into the glory years of Saturday Night Live, its movie spin-offs, what makes us laugh and what sinks us into bouts of depression (hint: it’s a 2002 feature starring Dana Carvey).

Jacuzzi romps, lesbian nurses,evil experiments, a blackmail plot, an undercover investigation and an all-star cast of B-movie nonentities, Hellhole features the glorious gams of Mary Woronov, the champion chin of Robert Z’Dar, the not particularly great Marjoe Gortner and much much more (actually, not that much, truth be told). Unwitting patients at an all-female mental institute are subjects of a secret experiment, taking place in the “hell hole” in question, an abandoned wing of the psychiatric hospital. What lurks in the bowels? Who is the masked surgeon? (right) Is this a horror film? Can you ask too many rhetorical questions? Join as we talk HELLHOLE.  

This Brian Yuzna film is a weird beast indeed. Put out on Blu-ray by Arrow, Society is a very compelling and hugely original film that is incredibly difficult not to spoil. We did our very very best in Episode 102. We urge listeners to check out this film before listening. (Hey, it’s from the producer of Re-Animator. That’s enough indication that the quality is absolutely top-shelf.) Wealthy teen Billy seems to have it all, as the Wikipedia entry puts it. But beneath this exterior, lurks something sinister in his upper middle class California home and suburban town. Blanchard, a school mate, has recorded something really really incriminating on tape: audio he plays to an incredulous Billy. The contents of that tape, snippets of truly horrific chatter between his folks and his older sister, launch a mystery and reveal some really odd goings on in his town. Tough to market on these shores, the movie did find a cult home in Europe. And that’s a good thing. Check out the expectations-confounding teen horror Society.

You rat soup eatin’ no good honky m*tha f*cka! We enter blaxploitation territory with the infamous Rudy Ray Moore vehicle, the boom mic heavy cult classic Dolemite. He plays the title character, imprisoned for drug running and trading in illegal furs (!). In exchange for his freedom, Dolemite cuts a deal with a corrupt warden to go back to the streets and clean house, as his antagonist Willie Green has been taking over while Dolemite’s been rotting in the can. Dolemite is not just a gangster but an entrepreneur and stand-up comic who owns a nightclub devoted to none other than himself. How large is an audience for a Dolemite-themed club? Inexplicably large. Dolemite is a charming, inept mess and showcases the terribly unfunny standup of Rudy Ray Moore (may RRM RIP).

Welcome to the (unofficial) EPISODE 100. Here, we delve into a lunatic Italian pseudo cannibal film, Dr Butcher MD, aka Zombie Holocaust. This is a blast from the past, one of co-host Chris’s most influential films. When “pieces of corpses,” go missing from a local university teaching hospital, we find out that the culprit is some island cannibals who’ve somehow made their way to New York. In order to get to the bottom of a budding mystery, two hospital colleagues investigate, leading them to a faraway South Pacific island. The duo comprises lab assistant Lori and Dr Chandler, played by the always excellent Ian McCulloch. On the island, they meet up with the mysterious figure Dr. Obrero, who fills them in on island goings on before they enter the jungle…AT THEIR PERIL! Celebrate #100 with us and Dr. Butcher MD. The MD stands for medical deviate!

We’re big fans of Vincent Price here on the Really Awful Movies Podcast and if you haven’t checked out Jeff’s interview with Vincent’s daughter Victoria, you owe it to yourself to do so as she talks about the legacy of her famous pops. Here we examine the Price classic, House on Haunted Hill. Many horror fans (and movie fans in general) are reluctant to delve into the past as they see anything made before 1996 as “old.” But, as the cliche goes, if you don’t know where you’ve been, you won’t know where you’re going. Viewers will be rewarded by checking out the fun, campy and effortlessly spirited House on Haunted Hill. It’s a straightforward haunted house tale: an eccentric millionaire dares a group of disparate characters to spend a night in a house with a ghostly past, with the promise of a reward if they’re able to. Can they survive the night? Welcome to The House on Haunted Hill: Hope you enjoy your stay! And be sure and check out episodes of the Really Awful Movies Podcast, where we delve into horror and genre films from the past to the present. Subscribe now!

Lou Ferrigno AND Reb Brown. This is basically B-movie heaven for us on the Really Awful Movies Podcast. In CAGE, the two muscled legends are soldiers in ‘Nam, and Billy (the go-to name for someone who is a bit slow-witted) is wounded by shrapnel. This causes him brain damage. The sergeant whose life he saved, Scotty (Brown) later helps him recuperate and basically becomes his caregiver. Now that we’ve explained away deaf Lou’s speech as the result of a brain injury, we can get on with the lunkheaded UFC-style cage-fighting subplot. Two low level mafiosi are in debt to some goons and they figure the giant Billy, whose muscles have muscles (and then have more muscles) would make for a great cage fighter. So they kidnap him. And put him in a tournament run by Chinese gangsters. And Scotty has to find him before it’s too late. Racist, offensive, stupid, and yet fun-filled (just the way we like ’em) we delve into the little known (and for good reason) CAGE.

Two aquatic-themed Italian creature feature horrors. Which is odd, as we didn’t plan it. In this episode, a regular feature of the Really Awful Movies Podcast we call CRAP OF THE WEEK, we discuss movies one of us has seen and the other hasn’t and vice versa. Against all odds, two very similar something fishy movies, Island of the Fishmen, a 1979 Italian adventure action horror film directed by Sergio Martino (best known for the notorious The Mountain of the Cannibal God) and 1994’s Creatures from the Abyss, aka Plankton, by Al Passeri. We chat about the former’s similarity to Island of Dr. Moreau, its Voodoo chicken rituals, missing and marooned French soldiers, a subplot involving the Lost City of Atlantis and of course, some nefarious experiments carried out by a diabolical doctor. Creatures from the Abyss features kids who go missing on a dinghy and hop aboard a research vessel in the open seas, which turns out to be abandoned – its occupants having left in great haste, save for one, a lab assistant frothing at the mouth. They quickly happen upon nefarious experiments (naturally) and boy do things go nuts thereafter. Two complementary companion pieces, two nutso fish-human hybrid attack movies. Check ’em out.

Killer monkeys are on the loose. In George A. Romero’s Monkey Shines, it’s a telepathic Capuchin helper monkey, and in Shakma, it’s a rampaging baboon in a university hospital. It’s Old World Vs New World Monkeys in this battle of our closest genetic cousins in the animal world. We love “animals attack” / “nature run amok” movies and we love having Scott Drebit on the show to talk about them. He’s a regular contributor to the excellent site Daily Dead. Romero’s Monkey Shines was met with much indifference upon first release, earning a mere 5 million or so at the box office. Did this “experiment in fear” deserve its fate? Shakma, on the other hand, isn’t as well known. And we’re here to change that. Check out which one of these films deserves a tuxedo and a cigar and which only made a monkey out of us on this hairy episode of the Really Awful Movies Podcast.

It’s quite telling that the film’s tagline is, “the man of your dreams is back,” and that the protagonist is looking at the Springwood Slasher instead of his paramour. Homoerotic subtext abounds in this mediocre sequel to A Nightmare on Elm Street. Five years have gone by since the original Nightmare murders, and Elm street has new occupants in A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge. Teen Jesse is plagued by nightmares about being stuck on a bus alone with two women (not so bad), albeit said bus is in the middle of some kind of hellscape and being driven by Freddy. His girlfriend Lisa comes over to his place and they find Nancy’s diary, a clue that sheds some light on what’s been happening – a loose tie-in to the Wes Craven classic first film. Meanwhile, Jesse strikes up a friendship with school chum Grady, with whom he has much more sexual chemistry, and then has a scary dream about his gym teacher who likes to frequent leather bars. It’s unbelievable that the series recovered from this one, a severe body blow to Craven’s legacy. Luckily, the classic Dream Warriors righted the ship. But tune in to see what 2 is all about…