The One You Feed | Personal Growth, Emotional Resilience & Purpose

Dr. Sue Johnson is an author, clinical psychologist, researcher, and an internationally recognized leader in the field of couple interventions. She is founding Director of the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT) and Distinguished Research Professor at Alliant University in San Diego, California, as well as Professor Emeritus, Clinical Psychology, at the University of Ottawa, Canada. In this interview, Dr. Sue Johnson discuss her best selling book, “Hold Me Tight: 7 Conversations for a Lifetime of Love” and her groundbreaking research of helping couples to enhance, repair, and keep their relationship. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Dr. Sue Johnson and I Discuss… Her book, Hold Me Tight: 7 Conversations for a Lifetime of Love The wolf parable and how therapists act as the third wolf for couples. Relationships are often stuck in fear and anger Emotional disconnection causes distress in relationships. Humans are wired for close connection with others. Attachment needs continue into adulthood, most notably in romantic relationships. Common conversations in distressed relationships are known as “demon dialogues”. Relationships stuck in predictable patterns is referred to as the “Protest Polka”. “Freeze and Flee” means one person gives up on the relationship. “Find the Bad Guy” in other words, "It’s not me, it’s you” Understanding the circle of criticism, or the “dance” you’re stuck in. Learning to blame this “dance” rather than each other. The “hold me tight conversation” that creates safety in the relationship. Understanding the negative cycle that causes disconnection. Creating a positive cycle by creating a secure bond “ARE” – Accessibility, Responsiveness, and Engagement. Talking about fears rather than acting on them leads to bonding. Emotional connection in a relationship is a source of joy and strength. Dr. Sue Johnson Links: drsuejohnson.com Twitter Facebook TalkSpace – the online therapy company that lets you message a licensed therapist from anywhere at any time. Therapy on demand. Non-judgemental, practical help when you need it at a fraction of the cost of traditional therapy. Visit www.talkspace.com and enter Promo Code: WOLF to get 65% off your first month. DoorDash – Don’t worry about dinner, let dinner come to you with DoorDash. Get $5 off your first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter promo code WOLF Westin – their reason for being is to help you travel well – eat well, move well and sleep well. Welcome to wellness. Explore at Westin.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gabe Howard is an award-winning writer, speaker, and host of the weekly Psych Central show who lives with bipolar and anxiety disorders. His new book, Mental Illness Is an A-Hole – And Other Observations, is what he and Eric discuss in this episode. You’ll be captivated by Gabe’s story as he tells it – it’s compelling, relatable, inspiring, and educational. Whether or not you have bipolar disorder or another mental illness, chances are you know someone or some people who do and so this is an important episode to listen to – you’ll deepen your understanding of what it means to live with mental illness. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Gabe Howard and I Discuss… His book, Mental Illness Is an A-Hole – And Other Observations What bipolar disorder is (and isn’t) and how it shows up in his life His compelling story The myth that people with mental illness come from bad families When he went to the ER because of suicidal thoughts How he defines recovery: spending more time living life than managing his bipolar disorder The 4 years he spent in a battle with his mental illness How you have to learn what works for you – and how that takes time The role of medication in the treatment of mental illness How it stings when your body lets you down Eric’s experience taking and not taking medication for his depression Whole health wellness Suicide Don’t choose a permanent solution to a temporary problem How suicide doesn’t end the pain – it transfers it to someone else Gabe Howard Links: gabehoward.com Twitter Facebook See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi Everyone! Here is a mini episode that was made for our Patreon members called A Teaching, a Song, and a Poem (and sometimes a bad joke!) Teaching: We Can Always Grow and Change Poem: The Trees- Philip Larkin Song: Tomorrow- James If you'd like to get one of these every week, you can become a member of our community by going to oneyoufeed.net/join By supporting and joining The One You Feed Community, you'll get access to: A Teaching, a Song, and a Poem mini episodes Post Show Conversations Ad Free Episodes and more! Your support is greatly appreciated! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lauren Zander is a life coach, university lecturer, public speaker and co-founder and chairwoman of The Handel Group. Her book, Maybe It's You: Cut the Crap. Face Your Fears. Love Your Life is what she and Eric discuss in this episode. Lauren has an incredibly useful approach to uncovering your limiting inner dialogue so that you can truly catapult yourself forward in life. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait - there's more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It's that simple and we'll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Lauren Zander and I Discuss... Her book, Maybe It's You: Cut the Crap. Face Your Fears. Love Your Life. Getting conscious of the unconscious parts of yourself Her life-changing moment at 19 How much of what is plaguing a person is in their inner dialogue The strategist in your head That over 80% of our thoughts are negative and repeating from the day before The chicken, the brat, the weather reporter Keeping promises to yourself Integrity and spirituality Consequences Accountability Lauren Zander Links: handelgroup.com Twitter Facebook FabFitFun: FabFitFun is a seasonal subscription box delivered 4 times a year with full-sized beauty, fashion, home, fitness, and wellness products for just $49.99 a box - though the box is valued at more than $200. Eric's girlfriend is honestly obsessed. You don't want to miss the upcoming fall box. Use the code FEED to get $10 off your first box www.fabfitfun.com Westin - their reason for being is to help you travel well - eat well, move well and sleep well. Welcome to wellness. Explore at Westin.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Father Richard Rohr is a globally recognized ecumenical teacher bearing witness to the universal awakening within Christian mysticism and the Perennial Tradition. He’s a Franciscan priest in the New Mexico Provence and the founder of the Center for Action and Contemplation in Albuquerque. In this episode, Eric and Father Richard discuss his most recent book, The Universal Christ: How a Forgotten Reality Can Change Everything We See, Hope For, and Believe. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Father Richard Rohr and I Discuss… His book, The Universal Christ: How a Forgotten Reality Can Change Everything We See, Hope For, and Believe What the word “Christ” means for him How God loves things by becoming them, by uniting with them That a mature Christian sees Christ in everything and everyone else The notion of God IN all things vs God IS all things How Christ is a stand-in for everything Focusing on the death of Christ and missing the life of Christ When God hides his face The difference between spiritual darkness and depression A loss of the feeling of faith in God isn’t the same thing as a loss of faith in God How distraction doesn’t make you happy God uses 3 things to draw us out of ourselves: goodness, truth and beauty Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful How God uses evil for your transformation That Jesus punishes nobody When you return in kind – like Michael and the dragon – you become the dragon The 2 virtues you need to move forward on the spiritual path: humility and honesty Father Richard Rohr Links: Center for Action and Contemplation Twitter Facebook Westin – their reason for being is to help you travel well – eat well, move well and sleep well. Welcome to wellness. Explore at Westin.com Phlur makes stunning, non-toxic perfumes, listing every ingredient and why it’s there. Visit www.phlur.com/wolf and use promo code WOLF to get 20% off first custom sampler set DoorDash – Don’t worry about dinner, let dinner come to you with DoorDash. Get $5 off your first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter promo code WOLF If you liked this episode with Father Richard Rohr, you might also enjoy listening to these earlier interviews: Richard Rohr – Part 1 (2017) Richard Rohr – Part 2 (2017) See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Maia Szalavitz is an American reporter and author who has focused much of her work on the topic of addiction. She is the co-author of Born for Love and The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog, both with Dr. Bruce D. Perry. Her latest book is Unbroken Brain: A Revolutionary New Way of Understanding Addiction In this paradigm-shifting interview, Maia Szalavitz explains that addiction is a learning disorder, a developmental disorder, which is a different way of thinking of addiction than it being a disease or a moral failing. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Maia Szalavitz and I Discuss… Her book, Unbroken Brain: A Revolutionary New Way of Understanding Addiction That your brain becomes what it does – that the more you repeat an activity, the easier it becomes How addiction is a developmental disorder and how learning is critical to addiction The problems with discussion about addiction as a disease Arguing that addiction is a disease and then treating it like a moral failing Addiction resets your priorities and causes one to make different decisions Addiction = compulsive behavior that continues despite negative consequences How illogical it is then to try and address addiction by focusing on implementing additional negative consequences The complexity of addiction, genes + culture + timing The developmental history that gets you to addiction How the drug isn’t the problem and our efforts to get rid of it isn’t a helpful solution Addiction as a learning disorder that is characterized by a resistance to punishment The problem with “rock bottom” is it’s not helpful scientifically, and it implies a moral component of having to reach a point of extreme degradation before you can stop. What the motivation is that turns people to recovery How addicts keep using because they can’t see how they can survive any other way Recovery begins when you start to see that there are other options People with addiction are living at a point of learned helplessness The role of hope and other ways of managing their life Addiction as a coping mechanism The pleasures of the hunt vs the pleasures of the feast Wanting vs Liking Different motivational states Addiction as escalating wanting Stimulants and chasing that satisfaction The effectiveness and usefulness of 12 Step Programs The role of medicine in a developmental disorder Looking at addicts as students who need to learn better coping skills rather than sinners who need to be forced to repent. Maia Szalavitz Links: maiasz.com Twitter Calm app – Reduce your anxiety and stress and help you sleep better. Meditations for anxiety, adult bedtime stories, soothing music, calm masterclasses with many One You Feed Guests. Visit www.calm.com/wolf for 25% off a Calm Premium Subscription Peloton – Looking for a new way to get your cardio in? The Peloton bike will make you rethink the way you look at cycling classes! Visit onepeloton.com and enter Promo code “WOLF” to get $100 off of accessories with purchase of a bike. Westin – Westin resorts have wellness offerings that are curated just for you to help you eat, move and sleep well. Explore at westin.com If you enjoyed this conversation with Maia Szalavitz, you might also enjoy these other episodes! Dr. Gabor Mate’ Judson Brewer See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hal Gregersen is the Executive Director of the Leadership Center at MIT. He is a prolific author and motivational speaker recognized by Thinkers 500 as one of the World’s 50 Most Innovative Minds. In this episode, Eric and Hal discuss his book, Questions are the Answer: A Breakthrough Approach to Your Most Vexing Problems at Work and in Life. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Hal Gregersen and I Discuss… His book, Questions are the Answer: A Breakthrough Approach to Your Most Vexing Problems at Work and in Life That whether we know it or not, we’re all living questions Keystone questions Shadow questions How he discovered his questions The heart attack that changed his life His shadow questions Asking better questions Competing Commitments Underlying assumptions Alexander Papaderos How if you want better answers, you’ve got to ask better questions That if you feel stuck you’re probably asking the wrong question Brainstorming questions without answering them Why we don’t ask good questions Catalytic questions that challenge false assumptions How wanting to be right and smart stops us from getting to better questions What if you woke up and asked, what am I dead wrong about today? That if you’re not making big enough mistakes, you’re not trying hard enough The danger of moving into smaller and smaller tribes that are founded on being right Actively seeking passive data – observing and listening The power of the pause Listening to understand vs listening to defend How can I find and reflect the light in you? Hal Gregersen Links: halgregersen.com Twitter Daily Harvest – they deliver absolutely delicious organic, carefully sourced, chef-created fruit and veggie smoothies, soups, overnight oats, bowls and more to get 3 cups free in your first box. Visit www.dailyharvest.com and enter promo code: FEED TalkSpace – the online therapy company that lets you message a licensed therapist from anywhere at any time. Therapy on demand. Non-judgemental, practical help when you need it at a fraction of the cost of traditional therapy. Visit www.talkspace.com and enter Promo Code: WOLF to get 65% off your first month. The Upper Room – a global ministry where you can join a worldwide community of Christian believers in daily prayer and devotional practice. Go to www.upperroom.org/welcome to get a free 30-day trial If you enjoyed this conversation with Hal Gregersen, you might also enjoy these other episodes! John Zertasky Skip Prichard See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Eric Tivers is a licensed clinical social worker, coach, podcaster, speaker, consultant, and entrepreneur. He specializes in ADHD and has worked extensively with individuals on the autism spectrum. His podcast is ADHD reWired and in this episode, Eric and Eric talk about the experience of being an Adult with ADHD. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Eric Tivers and I Discuss… How he separates “mind” and “brain” ADHD in Adults Impulsivity and Hyperactivity Inattention and Distractability How people with ADHD aren’t lazy – according to brain scans The diagnostic criteria for ADHD The multimodal treatment approach for ADHD His experience with Adderall The lie of “I’ll remember that” Time wisdom The importance of Exercise, Sleep Separate decision from action The wisdom in flipping a coin A disorder of self-regulation Accountability The anatomy of a to-do list Vision verbing Why cue Life on hard mode – but we can do hard things Eric Tivers Links: ADHDreWired.com Twitter Facebook YouTube Blinkist – Do you have an ever-growing list of books to read? Blinkist can help! With thousands of non-fiction books distilled down to their most salient points that you can consume in 15 minutes or less go to www.blinkist.com/wolf for a 7-day free trial. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cindy Stulberg is an internationally respected psychologist and is the Director of The Institute of Interpersonal Psychotherapy which provides psychological assessment and counseling for individuals and couples, groups and families and has done so for the past 35 years. In this episode, Cindy and Eric discuss her book, Feeling Better: Beat Depression and Improve Your Relationships with Interpersonal Psychotherapy. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Cindy Stulberg and I Discuss… Her book, Feeling Better: Beat Depression and Improve Your Relationships with Interpersonal Psychotherapy That your relationships hold the key to your happiness Interpersonal Psychotherapy The areas of life that trigger a depressive episode Drawing your social circle and asking questions about them How to build your social circle Conversation starters The difference between feelings and moods Questions for emotional enlightenment Getting input from others when looking to do things differently for them to make things better Paying attention to how you feel The question: What’s the best, worst and most likely outcome? Linking rigid expectations to happiness How you can’t expect 1 person to meet all your needs Cindy Stulberg Links: The Institute of Interpersonal Psychotherapy Twitter Facebook Phlur makes stunning, non-toxic perfumes, listing every ingredient and why it’s there www.phlur.com/wolf and use promo code WOLF to get 20% off first custom sampler set Quip – Comes in an easy carrying case making it a great portable electric toothbrush – with timed settings to make brushing easy. It starts at just $25. Go to www.getquip.com/wolf to get your first refill pack for free The Upper Room – a global ministry where you can join a worldwide community of Christian believers in daily prayer and devotional practice. Go to www.upperroom.org/welcome to get a free 30-day trial If you liked this episode, you might also enjoy these other episodes: Amy Banks Eric Maisel See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Claire Booth is an entrepreneur, author, and speaker. She’s the founder and CEO of the market research firm Lux Insights with two decades of experience serving some of the worlds most recognized brands. In this episode, Eric and Claire discuss her book, The Achiever Fever Cure: How I Learned to Stop Striving Myself Crazy. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Claire Booth and I Discuss… Her book, The Achiever Fever Cure: How I Learned to Stop Striving Myself Crazy Her experience of learning to love her bad wolf Keeping her inner house clean The anxiety, depression, and insomnia that came with her constant achieving The difference between achiever fever and achieving I’ll be happy when… The craving mindset of achieving How every leader in her business has a coach The importance of a coach The questions we ask ourselves, the stories we tell ourselves – that we need someone to poke holes in them Her inner critic – the judge The left brain interpreter Checking your thoughts for truth Asking if your thought could be defended 100% in a court of law Asking yourself, who would I be without that thought? Cognitive Bias Asking yourself “Would my life be better if I wasn’t drinking?” The feeling of worry How she is able to let go of worry Claire Booth Links: www.clairebooth.com Twitter Facebook Goodreads Calm app – Reduce your anxiety and stress and help you sleep better. Meditations for anxiety, adult bedtime stories, soothing music, calm masterclasses with many One You Feed Guests. Visit www.calm.com/wolf for 25% off a Calm Premium Subscription. Peloton – Looking for a new way to get your cardio in? The Peloton bike will make you rethink the way you look at cycling classes! Visit onepeloton.com and enter Promo code “WOLF” to get $100 off of accessories with purchase of a bike. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Adyashanti is an American born spiritual teacher devoted to serving the awakening of all beings. His teachings are an open invitation to stop, inquire and recognize what is true and liberating at the core of all existence. Adyashanti also runs the Omega retreat which Eric has taken part in many times. In this episode, part 2 of a 2 part interview, Eric and Adya continue their conversation about his latest book, The Most Important Thing: Discovering Truth at the Heart of Life. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Adyashanti and I Discuss… How his relationship to his wife has become more of a mystery over their 23 years together The role of play and being silly How our spiritual striving can get in the way – in meditation, specifically How meditation is the relinquishing of an agenda The way we engage with the mystery of being The curiosity that was sparked when he realized he was a mystery unto himself That spirituality is an experiential encounter with the unknown The paradox we’re embracing with meditation Start meditation by listening to the quiet spaces inside, let go of trying to control what’s happening in your mind When you realize you’re lost in thought during meditation, kindly and gently encourage your attention back to your meditation anchor or listening Observe your relationship with failure – or things going some other way than the way you want them to – during meditation Gratitude for popping out of the dream or trance state Encountering life attitudes during meditation Spiritual insight during real life – what do you value at any given moment? Chasing a spiritual high Asking “what am I in service to?” Not having to have the feeling in order to engage in right action Adyshanti Links: adyashanti.org Twitter Facebook Instagram The Upper Room – a global ministry where you can join a worldwide community of Christian believers in daily prayer and devotional practice. Go to www.upperroom.org/welcome to get a free 30-day trial TalkSpace – the online therapy company that lets you message a licensed therapist from anywhere at any time. Therapy on demand. Non-judgemental, practical help when you need it at a fraction of the cost of traditional therapy. Visit www.talkspace.com and enter Promo Code: WOLF to get your first week free! If you liked this episode, you might also enjoy these other episodes: Adyashanti (Part 1) 2018 Adyashanti (Part 2) 2018 Adyashanti (2017) See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Adyashanti is an American born spiritual teacher devoted to serving the awakening of all beings. His teachings are an open invitation to stop, inquire and recognize what is true and liberating at the core of all existence. Adyashanti also runs the Omega retreat which Eric has taken part in many times. In this episode, Eric and Adya talk about his latest book, The Most Important Thing: Discovering Truth at the Heart of Life. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Adyashanti and I Discuss… His book, The Most Important Thing: Discovering Truth at the Heart of Life Attention and Intention The inquiry at any given time: Where are we giving our attention to? Considering the question: What is worthwhile orienting your life around? The limitations that come with aging How the definition of happiness changes as we age Wholeness of being Life as it is rather than the image of life Two interpretations of the fact that sometimes those who are the most unhappy tend to be seeking happiness the most Shooting for meaning rather than happiness How meaning is an experience of being The inquiry: What am I in service to? That we don’t seem to do well as human beings when we live exclusively for ourselves What does it mean to really serve what you realize (rather than trying to realize more and more) The mistaken thinking that an act of service must be grand in scale or scope or must be visible to really count or matter How it’s easy to be noble when you are noticed but in most of our lives that’s not what’s taking place That giving time and attention when someone needs it can make for transformative moments Seeing the importance of the things you do in your life now that are in service That you can’t make yourself awaken but what you do DOES have an impact – it’s just indirect The yearning itself comes from the very thing we’re yearning for (in terms of awakening) Adyshanti Links: adyashanti.org Twitter Facebook Instagram Daily Harvest – they deliver absolutely delicious organic, carefully sourced, chef-created fruit and veggie smoothies, soups, overnight oats, bowls and more! To get 3 cups free in your first box, visit www.daily-harvest.com and enter promo code: FEED FabFitFun is a seasonal subscription box delivered 4 times a year with full-sized beauty, fashion, home, fitness, and wellness products for just $49.99 a box – though the box is valued at more than $200. The summer box is valued at over $400! Eric’s girlfriend absolutely loved the box they sent and has already signed up to receive their fall box. Use the code FEED to get $10 off your first box at www.fabfitfun.com Phlur makes stunning, non-toxic perfumes, listing every ingredient and why it’s there. Visit www.phlur.com and enter promo code WOLF to get 20% off first custom sampler set If you liked this episode, you might also enjoy these other episodes: Adyashanti (Part 1) 2018 Adyashanti (Part 2) 2018 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Something Special See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Donna Hylton is a women’s rights activist and criminal justice reform advocate. Donna speaks publicly about the issues facing incarcerated women and girls and the significant impact the significant increase in the female prison population is having on families, children and our communities. Her book, “A Little Piece of Light: A Memoir of Hope, Prison, and a Life Unbound” tells the story of the childhood abuse she endured, the spiral of events that lead to her incarceration and how she learned to live, love and trust all over again. In this episode, Donna shares some deeply personal stories of her traumatic past and how she found her voice to help other victims of violence and abuse. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Donna Hylton and I Discuss… Her book, “A Little Piece of Light: A Memoir of Hope, Prison, and a Life Unbound” Navigating the good times and bad times of her early childhood. Finding the courage to ask for help. How she ran track in high school as a way to “run away” How we must talk about these painful stories to get to the root causes. How dealing with trauma does something to our psyche. Believing we don’t have value can be reinforced by those around you. Dealing with the difficult relationship with her daughter, who was the result of rape Years of therapy and healing helped find that place of light inside herself. How talking about the trauma releases the pain instead of holding on to it. How we need to face the trauma, try to understand it and then try to stop it. When you’re young, you believe that what happens around you is your fault and therefore often make the same mistakes because you don’t know how to rationalize what is happening. How she became a wounded healer. How she started healing and forgiving herself when she went to prison. How she became an advocate for the sick women in prison after losing a close friend. Realizing she could no longer stand by or stay silent when something bad happened to others. How she helped bring counseling, educational and other care programs into the prison system. Saying goodbye to the little girl inside who was silent Embracing the little girl inside who found her voice We are not the worst moment in our lives, we’re not our mistakes We are human beings who have been through something Being part of the newly passed Domestic Violence Survivors Justice Act (DVSJA) which considers alternative sentencing or intervention for those convicted who have been victims of severe abuse. When a body is put under pressure, it’s going to react and do whatever it takes to survive Her source of unconditional love and truth, Sister Mary, who helped her to become the activist she is today. How “we can connect deeply with humanity if we look through the eyes of love and compassion” We were created in love and beauty is all around us if we can just recognize it. Peloton – Looking for a new way to get in your cardio? The Peloton bike will make you rethink the way you look at cycling classes! Visit onepeloton.com and enter Promo code “WOLF” to get $100 off of accessories with purchase of a bike! The Upper Room – a global ministry where you can join a worldwide community of Christian believers in daily prayer and devotional practice. Go to www.upperroom.org/welcome to get a free 30-day trial. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

David Kadavy is a best selling author, blogger, podcaster and speaker. Through his blogging and podcasting, he helps people find satisfaction through following their crafts even if it takes them down an unconventional path. His book, The Heart to Start: Stop Procrastinating and Start Creating, is what he and Eric discuss in this episode. If you ever struggle with procrastination, you’ll find this episode helpful, informative, inspiring and empowering. There’s some real, practical wisdom here that will enable you to get started with whatever it is that you want to do in your life. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, David Kadavy and I Discuss… His book, The Heart to Start: Stop Procrastinating and Start Creating How to get started The things that stand in the way of us starting What it means to be creative, or to create The resistance that comes from the ego surrounding getting started Motivational Judo Tricks to get yourself to just get started Give yourself permission to suck You can’t do good work without doing bad work first Perfection paralysis What happens when the scale of a creative project is too big Fortress fallacy The role of curiosity in getting started Balancing exploitation and exploration Following your curiosities David Kadavy Links: davidkadavy.net Facebook Twitter Calm app – Reduce your anxiety and stress and help you sleep better. Meditations for anxiety, adult bedtime stories, soothing music, calm masterclasses with may One You Feed Guests. Visit www.calm.com/wolf for 25% off a Calm Premium Subscription Capterra – find the right software for your business – read thousands of real software reviews. Capterra is the leading free online resource to find the tools to make an informed software decision for your business. Software selection simplified. Go to www.capterra.com/wolf for free today Quip – looking for a gift for a dad or a grad? Give them the gift of good oral hygiene made automatic, affordable and easy. Go to www.getquip.com/wolf and get your refill pack for free If you liked this episode, you might also enjoy these other episodes: Tim Pychyl Tim Urban See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Alan Castel, Ph.D. is a professor in the Department of Psychology at The University of California Los Angeles. His research focuses on how cognition changes with age and how people selectively remember important events. His work has been supported by the National Institute on Aging and has been featured in The New York Times and Time Magazine. In this episode, Eric and Alan discuss his book, Better with Age: The Psychology of Successful Aging. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Alan Castel, Ph.D. and I Discuss… His book, Better with Age: The Psychology of Successful Aging How mindset matters in aging Role models in successful aging That life can get better with ageSocio-Emotional Selectivity Theory The realization that time is finite The ways that life can get better the older we get What helps prevent cognitive decline That older adults often have less regret than younger adult How we’re better at focusing on what’s important as we age Walking or getting physical exercise (getting blood flow to the brain) is key in preventing cognitive decline The importance of balance training when it comes to healthy aging How illuminating it is to test your balance How helpful it is to be around people who do the things that we’re looking to do in our lives The challenges that come with retirement – and how to overcome them The middle way as it applies to retirement The two most important things in life Alan Castel, Ph.D. Links: memory & lifespan cognition lab google scholar Netsuite by Oracle – the business software that handles every aspect of your business in an easy to use cloud platform. Get Netsuite’s free guide, 7 Key Strategies to Grow Your Profits, by going to www.netsuite.com/wolf Phlur makes stunning, non-toxic perfumes, listing every ingredient and why it’s there. Visit www.phlur.com and enter promo code WOLF to get 20% off first custom sampler set The Upper Room – a global ministry where you can join a worldwide community of Christian believers in daily prayer and devotional practice. Go to www.upperroom.org/welcome to get a free 30-day trial. If you liked this episode, you might also enjoy these other episodes: Jonathan Rauch Parker J. Palmer See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mary O’Malley is an author, teacher, and counselor whose work awakens others to the joy of being fully alive. Her inspired and transformative approach to compulsions offers a way to replace fear, hopelessness, and struggle with ease, well-being, and joy. Through her individual counseling and coaching, books, classes, retreats, and ongoing groups, Mary invites people to experience the miracle of awakening. Acknowledged as a leader in the field of Awakening by many Mary clearly sees both the big picture and the details of human patterns and conditioning. She possesses an extraordinary ability to understand and connect with people. And she is skilled in empowering people to work with difficult mind states resulting in greater inner awareness and presence and a greater capacity for joy. Eckhart Tolle says, “Thank you, Mary, for your contribution to the evolution of human consciousness.” Her latest book is called What’s In the Way, Is the Way: A Practical Guide to Awakening. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Mary O’Malley and I Discuss… The intertwining of good and bad, the yin and yang Dealing with eating problems How what we fight, we empower Creating a relationship with the dark side The impact of the early years of our lives The conditioned self How we are addicted to struggle Being present to life instead of thinking our way through life The “low-grade suffering” that permeates our lives The storyteller in our minds The Four Lets Learning to not listen so closely to the storyteller in our mind The difference between being here for life and being in a conversation about life The power of curiosity The 8 core spells that we tell ourselves Look to Unhook The power of human attention to heal Sticking with these practices even when it seems to be going slow Watching for tightness in yourself as a trigger to let go Learning to be here for whatever life presents The gift of our compulsions Having a set of beliefs that empower us versus take our power away Life is set up to bring up what is bound up so we can open up to be freed up so can show up for life Not being the victim of life Having the ability to come back to the heart Mary O’Malley Links: maryomalley.com twitter facebook See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ruth Whippman is a regular contributor to radio shows, television, and podcasts, having made appearances on shows including NPR’s Brian Lehrer Show, To the Point, CBS news and Morning Edition amongst many others. She is also a regular speaker and has given talks at Google, Princeton University and UC Berkeley as well as many other venues. Her book is, America the Anxious: How Our Pursuit of Happiness is Creating a Nation of Nervous Wrecks and it is this – along with the flaws of the self help that she and Eric talk about in this episode. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Ruth Whippman and I Discuss... Her book, America the Anxious: How Our Pursuit of Happiness is Creating a Nation of Nervous Wrecks How many people in the self-help industry are trying to sell easy answers and life is incredibly complex Sitting with a certain amount of complexity in life The flaws with studies The one thing consistent across all research and people’s experience about happiness The American tradition of self-reliance The victim blaming myth that we’re completely responsible for how we feel That circumstances absolutely play a role in our degree of happiness What’s behind the positive psychology movement How we need to think of well being as a shared responsibility That it’s easy to lose compassion when you go too far down the road of “your happiness is completely within your control and completely your responsibility” The flaws in The Law of Attraction theory How to cope with the anxiety-producing stuff going on in the news The importance of social support, community, and connection The challenges of social media Ruth Whippman Links: ruthwhippman.com twitter facebook instagram The Great Courses Plus – learn more about virtually any topic – beyond the basics and even master a subject if you want to. Get a free trial with access to their entire library at www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolf Netsuite by Oracle – the business software that handles every aspect of your business in an easy to use cloud platform. Get Netsuite’s free guide, 7 Key Strategies to Grow Your Profits, by going to www.netsuite.com/wolf If you liked this episode, you might also enjoy these other episodes: Jonathan Rauch Paul Dolan Michelle Gielan See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Skip Prichard is the fifth president of OCLC, a global library cooperative that supports thousands of libraries in making information more accessible and more useful to people around the world. Among Skip’s many passions is his leadership insights blog where he interviews authors and thought leaders and shares his views on a number of topics. His new book is The Book of Mistakes: 9 Secrets to Creating a Successful Future. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Skip Prichard and I Discuss… His book, The Book of Mistakes: 9 Secrets to Creating a Successful Future How what you focus on grows That he looks at everybody as a teacher The riddle that’s perplexed him throughout his life Success is when you’re filled with ambition and peace in equal measure at the same time The mistake of accepting excuses Built-in personal accountability How nobody but you can work on your healing Ok, that happened – what are you going to do about it The microphone in our mind Allowing temporary setbacks to become permanent failures Having Grit The very real pain of failure How do you keep going through despair, failure, depression – it’s resilience Are you showing up to the people in the room intentionally? Skip Prichard Links: www.skipprichard.com twitter facebook Calm app – Reduce your anxiety and stress and help you sleep better. Meditations for anxiety, adult bedtime stories, soothing music, calm masterclasses with may One You Feed Guests. Visit www.calm.com/wolf for 25% off a Calm Premium Subscription The Great Courses Plus – learn more about virtually any topic – beyond the basics and even master a subject if you want to. Get a free trial with access to their entire library at www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolf Quip – Check out the new kid’s Quip! Now the whole family can brush using an affordable and effective Quip toothbrush Go to www.getquip.com/wolf to get your refill pack for free If you liked this episode, you might also enjoy these other episodes: Sam Weinman Emma Seppala Carol Dweck See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Ellen Hendriksen is a clinical psychologist who helps millions calm their anxiety and be their authentic selves through her award-winning podcast, The Savvy Psychologist, and in the clinic at Boston University’s Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders. In this episode, she and Eric discuss her debut book is, How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety. If you suffer from social anxiety, you will learn a lot of practical tools to use to help you overcome it and suffer less. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Dr. Ellen Hendriksen and I Discuss… Her book, How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety The positive qualities that often accompany social anxiety in a person That the opposite of social anxiety is actually psychopathy The neuroscience of social anxiety How if you face your fears you can change your brain The problematic nature of avoidance when it comes to social anxiety Overt avoidance Covert avoidance Thinking that the worst case scenario is a foregone conclusion Avoidance means we never see what actually happens The inner critic The buckets that the Inner Critic likes to attack: Appearance, the Signs of Anxiety Themselves, Social Skills, One’s Entire Personality Social Anxiety Mad Libs: When I ______, it will become obvious that I _______ The tool, Replace Anxiety is vague – ask, what particular thing are you afraid of? 4 Magic Questions: What’s the worst that can happen? How bad is that? What are the odds that the worst case scenario will actually happen? How will I cope?/What will I do? The tool, Embrace The role of mindfulness in anxiety Making your inner world a kinder, more hospitable environment Self-compassion Creating structure in our social situations – giving yourself a mission to fulfill, a purpose, a goal Dr. Ellen Hendrisken Links: ellenhendriksen.com twitter Netsuite by Oracle – the business software that handles every aspect of your business in an easy to use cloud platform. Get Netsuite’s free guide, 7 Key Strategies to Grow Your Profits, by going to www.netsuite.com/wolf Phlur makes stunning, non-toxic perfumes, listing every ingredient and why it’s there www.phlur.com. Enter promo code WOLF to get 20% off your first custom sampler set. The Upper Room – a global ministry where you can join a worldwide community of Christian believers in daily prayer and devotional practice. Go to www.upperroom.org/welcome to get a free 30-day trial If you liked this episode, you might also enjoy these other episodes: Johann Hari Matthew Quick Eric Maisel See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sister Joan Chittister is a Benedictine Sister of Erie, Pennsylvania. She is the author of over 50 books and is the winner of 14 Catholic Press Association Awards. Sister Joan is an international speaker who inspires both her audience and readers with her passion for justice, equality, and peace – especially for women, in both society and the church. In this episode, Eric and Sister Joan discuss her book, Radical Spirit: 12 Ways to Live a Free and Authentic Life. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Sister Joan Chittister and I Discuss… Her book, Radical Spirit: 12 Ways to Live a Free and Authentic Life How words matter That experiences matter Humility as the cornerstone of spirituality The sanctification of the humble spirit Self-superiority in American culture Be who you are, know who you are, respect others around you and take your place in the human race Humility is having an accurate picture of who you are Her take on AA How holiness is the same everywhere That narcissism is a disease in our culture Being willing to face yourself How self-deprecation and self-aggrandizement are really the same things Not thinking about yourself all the time The burden of self That we’re looking for freedom Obedience as she defines it – it doesn’t mean we submit our souls to an authority figure. It’s grounded in the Latin word which means “to listen” How each of us grows into the ability to listen Endurance and Stability That you can’t rush your own development We become to be of service to others How nothing of value spiritually comes overnight The role of community in one’s great breakdowns in life Sister Joan Chittister Links: joanchittister.org Capterra – find the right software for your business – read thousands of real software reviews. Capterra is the leading free online resource to find the tools to make an informed software decision for your business. Software selection simplified. Go to www.capterra.com/wolf for free today For Hers makes convenient, affordable access to birth control available for all women. You get access to licensed doctors online who can evaluate you and if appropriate, prescribe you birth control that can be delivered directly to your door. The One You Feed listeners get their first month of For Hers birth control for just $5 (see website for full details) www.forhers.com/wolf TalkSpace – the online therapy company that lets you message a licensed therapist from anywhere at any time. Therapy on demand. Non-judgemental, practical help when you need it at a fraction of the cost of traditional therapy. Visit www.talkspace.com and enter Promo Code WOLF to get your first week free See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Donna Cameron has spent her career working with non-profit organizations and causes as an executive, consultant, a trainer and a volunteer. She’s the recipient of multiple awards an has published numerous articles. In 2011 she co-authored a book with Kristen Leathers called One Hill, Many Voices: Stories of Hope and Healing. In this interview, Donna and Eric discuss her book, A Year of Living Kindly: Choices That Will Change Your Life and the World Around You. You’ll hear insights into what it means, feels like and looks like to live kindly and your perspective on kindness will be broadened and enriched – possibly even changed – as a result. **Spiritual Habits Workshop – Enrollment ends 4/21/19! There’s still time to discover how spiritual habits connect you back to your deepest, truest self. Learn how to put personalized Spiritual Habits to work in your life in a special, one-time program with Eric and a small group of listeners. Click here for more information: thespiritualhabit.com Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Donna Cameron and I Discuss… Her book, A Year of Living Kindly: Choices That Will Change Your Life and the World Around You That incivility is contagious That kindness is contagious Listening for the missed note instead of the music Playing “Gotcha” in the way you look at life The negativity bias The power of kindness The difference between nice and kind Her year of living kindly and blogging about it Quantifying the benefits of kindness Being indifferent and still being nice How you can’t be indifferent and still be kind That it takes courage to be kind, it doesn’t take courage to be nice Extending yourself beyond what is comfortable Caring, making an effort without worrying about getting anything in return The chasm between kindness and unkindness Not being unkind doesn’t mean that you are being kind Keeping score and being kind That when we say yes to one thing means we’re saying no to something else The health business of kindness How kindness alleviates social anxiety Employing curiosity instead of judging people – “I wonder what’s going on in their lives?” Various kindness practices Practicing a pause Asking yourself “What is the kind response here?” Receiving graciously as an act of kindness Donna Cameron Links: ayearoflivingkindly.com Facebook Twitter Robinhood is an investing app that allows you to buy and sell stocks, EFTs, Options, and Cryptos all commission free at any level. All it takes to do so is 4 taps in the app on your smartphone so it makes investing easy for beginners and experienced people alike. For The One You Feed listeners, you can get a free stock like Apple, Ford, or Sprint to help you build your portfolio by going to youfeed.robinhood.com Quip has guiding features that are a built-in support system for better brushing and it’s an affordable $25 www.getquip.com/wolf get your first refill pack for free The Great Courses Plus offers thousands of courses in virtually any topic and you can listen on demand anywhere. Get a FREE trial and lock into their lowest price of $10 per month (50% off the regular price!) when you sign up for a 3-month plan thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolf If you liked this episode, you might also enjoy these other episodes: Johann Berlin Barbara Bonner See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. is the co-founder of the Center for Mindful Living in West Los Angeles and is the creator of the 6-month Coaching and Mentorship Program: A Course in Mindful Living. He's a psychologist and international speaker and mindfulness educator. He's written many books and in this episode, he and Eric discuss his book, Uncovering Happiness: Overcoming Depression with Mindfulness and Self Compassion. There are so many practical approaches and new perspectives in this episode. We think you'll get a lot of useful information out of the conversation. Spiritual Habits connect you back to your deepest, truest self. Learn how to put personalized Spiritual Habits to work in your life in a special, one-time program with Eric and a small group of listeners. Learn more here: thespiritualhabit.com Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Elisha Goldstein and I Discuss… His book, Uncovering Happiness: Overcoming Depression with Mindfulness and Self Compassion That what you practice and repeat is what you get Depression Triggers and Depression Cures Thoughts, Emotions, Sensations, and Behaviors The triangle of awareness Procedural memory The habit loop being like a traffic circle with 4 entry points The way our brain associates things The way our nervous system is overwhelmed when we’re experiencing depression Avoidance and depression How naming something gives us a little space and perspective How naming something actually changes the activity in our brain Perspective-making tools The way journaling objectifies your experiences Natural anti-depressants Mindfulness: a state of engaged curiosity Relating to your experience differently through mindfulness, self-compassion, play, compassion, purpose, and mastery The growth mindset and the fixed mindset Practicing being curious in your daily life to cultivate a growth mindset How a learning mindset is related to a growth mindset The importance of play How to discover what kind of play you might enjoy as an adult Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. Links: Mindful Living Collective Facebook Twitter YouTube Channel See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oren Jay Sofer leads retreats and workshops on mindful communication and meditation at retreat centers and educational facilities around the United States. He is the founder of Next Step Dharma and Mindful Healthcare and he holds a degree in Comparative Religion from Columbia University. In this episode, he and Eric discuss his new book, Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication. In it, you’ll learn an updated model on how to skillfully communicate – especially in difficult situations. Practical strategies and helpful perspectives are what you’ll get in this episode. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. In This Interview, Oren Jay Sofer and I Discuss… His book, Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication That we’re not stuck, our minds can learn and it depends on the choices we make moment to moment The three steps to create effective conversation Lead with Presence Come from Curiosity and Care Focus on What Matters How most people live with fragmented attention and it takes training to be fully present with another person That you can feel whether a person is fully present with you or not Bringing awareness and attention to the body to come into the present moment (the body is always in the present moment) Bodily sensations happen in the present moment The power of pausing How our rate of speech is connected to our nervous system That when we are present, we have a lot more choices That our intention shapes our verbal and non-verbal communications The intention to understand The intention of kindness and care How you can practice kindness to someone you don’t like Kindness can be about protecting your own heart The phrase “Let me see if I’ve got it…” Listening for what matters to the other person – what do they need? The difference between needs and strategies The Nonviolent Communication Model Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests Communicating in the workplace Oren Jay Sofer Links OrenJaySofer.com Facebook Twitter Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Tererai Trent is an inspiring and dynamic scholar, educator, humanitarian, motivational speaker, author and the founder of Tererai International. Dr. Trent is one of the most internationally acclaimed voices for women's empowerment and quality education. Named by Oprah Winfrey as her all-time favorite guest, Dr. Trent's latest book is called The Awakened Woman: Remembering and Reigniting Our Sacred Dreams. She tells her incredible story in this episode and you will be so deeply moved, so deeply touched, and so deeply inspired by it. We'ver never heard anything like it and are honored that she would tell us about her astounding life. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait - there's more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It's that simple and we'll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Dr. Tererai Trent and I Discuss... Her book, The Awakened Woman: Remembering and Reigniting Our Sacred Dreams The two hungers in our life - the little hunger and the great hunger The hunger for a meaningful life Asking yourself, "what breaks my heart?" The rural community she grew up in The wisdom of her grandmother That her grandmother was defined by her wisdom Her answer to the question she was asked - what are your dreams? The moment she was told that her dreams were achievable When her mother said to write down her dreams and bury (i.e. plant) them in the ground. How she broke the cycle of poverty The baton of poverty, illiteracy, early marriage, and abuse that she redefined The baton of wisdom, that she received The four dreams she wrote down When her mother said, "your goals in life will be more achievable when connected to the greater good of your community" The difference between culture and customs The 8 years it took for her to graduate high school Getting into Oklahoma State University but not having enough money to fly to America Feeding the deep hunger that says - you can achieve your dreams When she reconnected with the woman who first believed in her When she finally earned her PhD She worked 3 jobs and took 18 hours of coursework and took care of 5 kids getting her food from trashcans How she is not a victim, she is part of the solution Where her kids are now "It is acheivable" How many girls her work has now impacted See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A Teaching, a Song, and a Poem See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oliver Burkeman is an award-winning writer for The Guardian and his book, The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking explores the upsides of failure, difficulty, and imperfection – which we discussed in our first interview with Oliver several hundred episodes ago. Each week in his column in The Guardian, “This Column Will Change Your Life”, he writes about social psychology, self-help culture, productivity, and the science of happiness. In this interview, he discusses his take on time management in today’s world. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Oliver Burkeman and I Discuss… His take on the modern time management world That technologies of efficiency don’t seem to bring peace of mind How your to-do list is never going to go away That having emails in your inbox is not necessarily a problem Time management whispers of the possibility of true peace of mind Thinking of “a simpler time” How processing through your inbox is like climbing up an infinitely long ladder That tough choices have to be made when deciding what to do with your time – no matter how many productivity assists you have How it’s often easier to spend time on trivial stuff than the big projects David Allen’s book, Getting Things Done How no one beats them self up for not being able to jump a mile in the air because they never thought they could in the first place Similarly, accepting the real limitations in how much time you have and how much you can get done is incredibly liberating Productivity advice from Warren Buffet The role social media plays in our expectations about how productive we could or should be How digital distractions help us numb out Oliver Burkeman Links Homepage Facebook Twitter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Eli Jaxon-Bear founded and currently teaches through The Leela Foundation, a non-profit organization dedicated to world peace and freedom through universal self-realization. Eli is also the author of many books, including the one we discuss in this episode, An Outlaw Makes it Home: The Awakening of a Spiritual Revolutionary. In this episode, he talks to Eric about accessing and experiencing your true self and things that get in the way of that. Also, he hits on a perspective of the Enneagram that we bet you’ve never considered before. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Eli Jaxon-Bear and I Discuss… His book, An Outlaw Makes it Home: The Awakening of a Spiritual Revolutionary Discovering who is feeding the wolves within That to know your true self you have to turn away from your false self – the self you construct in your mind NLP, the Enneagram and hypnosis integrated into his therapy His lasting enlightenment Knowing what you really want and staying true to it in each moment The journey from “me” to “I” Symptom cure and habit control His book, Sudden Awakening How your heart is already intelligent and alive That the Enneagram Personality Types is actually the Enneagram of Character Fixation Asking, does this bring me freedom, true love, happiness? Go deeper than the character fixation and find your character Waking up from the act, from the show, and stop taking it personally having to prove things The character fixation of an Enneagram type 9 The “Chief Feature” All of our experience has a Mental, Emotional and Physical component and the ego encapsulates all three of those The history of the origins of the Enneagram His book on the Enneagram Eli Jaxon-Bear Links Homepage Facebook Twitter The Great Courses Plus thousands of courses in virtually any topic and you can listen on demand anywhere get a full month for FREE thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolf Phlur makes stunning, non-toxic perfumes, listing every ingredient and why it’s there. Visit www.phlur.com promo code WOLF to get 20% off first custom sampler set Robinhood is an investing app that allows you to buy and sell stocks, EFTs, Options and Cryptos all commission free at any level. All it takes to do so is 4 taps in the app on your smartphone so it makes investing easy for beginners and experienced people alike. For The One You Feed listeners, you can get a free stock like Apple, Ford, or Sprint to help you build your portfolio by going to youfeed.robinhood.com If you liked this episode, you might also enjoy these other episodes: Belinda Gore Amoda Maa See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This mini episode is about the importance of taking small steps and how being consistent is not about being perfect. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Catherine Gray is a listener favorite guest on the show. She’s been on once before to talk about her book, The Unexpected Joy of being Sober and we received so many messages about how people loved the conversation Eric had with her. In this episode, she’s here to discuss her new book, The Unexpected Joy of being Single: Locating Happily Single Serenity. Are you single? Then obviously this episode is for you. Are you in a relationship? Then – unexpectedly – this episode is also for you! Too often, people stay in bad relationships because they’re afraid of being single, afraid of being alone. You don’t want to feel trapped where you are – you want to be empowered knowing that where you are is where you CHOOSE to be – not where you HAVE to be. So, re-framing what it means and what it’s like to be single opens up everyone’s world by bringing you to the point of choice about your relationship status, rather than the point of “panic settling” or “victim mentality” about your relationship status. Trust us, you’re going to like this one. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Catherine Gray and I Discuss… Her book,The Unexpected Joy of being Single: Locating Happily Single Serenity That being single is not terrible! How being single is a whole lot better than “panic settling” That being single can be nourishing and refreshing – it has everything to do with reframing the way you see it Enjoying where you are at the time That there are pros and cons to being in a relationship and there are also pros and cons to being single The “if-then” happiness loop that’s a moving target How you get used to what you have and then you shoot for the next thing Choosing your perspective on your life and counting up your gratitudes That being single is WAY BETTER than being in a bad relationship How people stay in bad relationships because they’re afraid of being single, afraid of being alone What being a “love addict” means How you need bonding with 5 people in your life – not just 1 – to be happy How essential it is to like yourself in order to be happy in a healthy relationship The three different attachment styles that are created in early childhood (but can be changed in adulthood): anxious attached, secure attached, avoidant attached How feminism – in other words, equality – has made it socially acceptable for women to be single now A thought doesn’t have to lead to an action Don’t let yourself get too “HALT” (Hungry Angry Lonely Tired) Catherine Gray Links Homepage Instagram Twitter Daily Harvest – they deliver absolutely delicious organic, carefully sourced, chef-created fruit and veggie smoothies, soups, overnight oats, bowls and more. To get 3 cups free in your first box, visit www.daily-harvest.com and enter promo code: feed Thirdlove – they have 70 sizes including their signature 1/2 cup sizes! Find your perfect fit online in 60 seconds with their no tape measure needed fit finder. Get 15% off our first order at www.thirdlove.com/wolf Quip has guiding features that are a built-in support system for better brushing and it’s an affordable $25. Visit www.getquip.com/wolf get your first refill pack for free If you liked this episode, you might also enjoy these other episodes: Catherine Gray (First interview 2018) Mary O’Malley See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jonathan Rottenberg is an Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of South Florida where he’s the director of the mood and emotion laboratory. He’s also the author of the book, The Depths: The Evolutionary Origins of the Depression Epidemic“, which he and Eric have discussed before. In this interview, they discuss some of the studies and research he’s involved with specific to those who go on to flourish after having depression. Why do they? What can we learn from them? There’s hope and practical wisdom in this episode for you. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Jonathan Rottenberg and I Discuss… His book, The Depths: The Evolutionary Origins of the Depression Epidemic Thriving after depression The studies and research he’s involved with People who thrive after depression The destructive and recurring nature of depression The typical low expectation for those with depression about life moving forward and how it should be different What is mental “health”? Psychological well being Experiencing positive emotions Experiencing negative emotions to a lesser degree Feeling of balance in life Having meaningful relationships Feeling a sense of autonomy over your life How happy should we expect to be? Having elements of wellbeing amidst struggling with depression The 3 things that seed a low mood: events, temperaments, and routines Rumination Ways that people can work with depression more skillfully Having a different relationship with your negative thoughts Having connections with others Research on flourishing How much control do we have over our state of flourishing? That it’s never too late There is hope Our culture that idealizes euphoria The role of our basic temperament Factors of wellbeing other than emotion and mood The organization he helped found, Depression Army The interesting and transformative experience of depression That his depression has been defanged and it doesn’t break the skin anymore Jonathan Rottenberg, Ph.D. Links: Depression Army Facebook Twitter Instagram Blinkist – Do you have an ever-growing list of books to read? Blinkist can help! With thousands of non-fiction books distilled down to their most salient points that you can consume in 15 minutes or less, go to www.blinkist.com/wolf for a 7-day free trial Policy Genius helps you compare insurance plans and find the right policy for you at a price you can afford and then they handle everything – negotiating your rate and booking your appointment. Visit www.policygenius.com Robinhood is an investing app that allows you to buy and sell stocks, EFTs, Options and Cryptos all commission free at any level. All it takes to do so is 4 taps in the app on your smartphone so it makes investing easy for beginners and experienced people alike. For The One You Feed listeners, you can get a free stock like Apple, Ford, or Sprint to help you build your portfolio by going to youfeed.robinhood.com If you liked this episode, you might also enjoy these other episodes: Johan Hari Lisa Feldman Barrett Therese Borchard See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Susan David is a psychologist on faculty at Harvard Medical School. She’s also the co-founder and co-director of The Institute of Coaching at McLean Hospital and is CEO of Evidence-Based Psychology. Her book is, Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life. Have you ever gotten hooked by a difficult emotion? In other words, have you ever felt compelled to act on a strong feeling without having any space to think about your action first? If so, you will find really helpful wisdom in this episode that you can take, apply today and live a more skillful, open-hearted life. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Susan David and I Discuss… Her book, Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life How emotions are a guidance system That emotions can help us adapt and thrive The thinking “unless I’m happy all the time, something is wrong” Emotional Agility Loosening up, calming down and living with more intention The space between stimulus and response Emotional rigidity Allowing the story in our head to drive our actions Being who we most want to be in this world Moving away from the idea of “I have a thought and the thought is fact and I have to act on it” Getting hooked – accepting thought as fact That we are not our emotions – our emotions are a data source The story that imprisons and keeps us from acting in an open-hearted way How to get unhooked Getting curious and compassionate about our emotions when we’re hooked I’m noticing that I’m feeling ____ Creating a safe psychological space for ourselves “Walking your why” Choice points: do I move towards my values or away from my values? Social contagion Keeping your values front of mind Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life That our difficult emotions (like anxiety, for example) don’t have to go away in order for us to live according to our values Under our difficult emotions are signposts for our values Premature cognitive commitment Stories help us to make sense of our world Naming our stories Susan David, Ph.D. Links: susandavid.com Ted Talk – Susan David, Ph.D. Facebook Twitter Instagram Daily Harvest delivers absolutely delicious, organic, carefully sourced, chef created fruit and veggie smoothies, soups, overnight oats, bowls and more! To get 3 cups free in your first box, visit www.daily-harvest.com and enter promo code: feed The Great Courses Plus offers thousands of courses in virtually any topic and you can listen on demand anywhere. To get a full month for FREE, visit thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolf Phlur makes stunning, non-toxic perfumes, listing every ingredient and why it’s there. Visit www.phlur.com and enter promo code: WOLF to get 20% off first custom sampler set. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Parker Palmer is a writer, teacher, and activist whose work speaks deeply to many people in many different walks of life. He’s the founder and senior partner in The Center for Courage and Renewal. He’s the author of many books, including his newest one which we talk about on this episode: On The Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity and Getting Old. Parker is one of our favorite guests of the show and after you listen to this episode, you’ll know why he’s back for a second conversation. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Parker Palmer and I Discuss… His book, On The Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity and Getting Old His reflections looking back on his life The resilient fabric of his life How perfection is an illusion The role mistakes can play in one’s life The gift of age: Looking back on one’s life and saying “It all belongs” Another gift of age: Deep appreciation and gratitude for the present moment Feeling like you’re one of the lucky ones that you’re “old” Asking “What’s there for me to learn?” when facing problematic moments in life (like feeling down, or feeling self-pity) Moments of life that are burdened with ego The correlation between ego concerns and anxiety The importance and role of perspective The what and why of the things we’re doing The question (and trap!): Does my life have meaning? My legacy vs Our legacy How we’re all embedded in community “I planted some seeds and found some people I wanted to garden with…” How life and work are profoundly communal Reflecting on the question, “Have I been sufficiently open to and aware of the significant contributions others have made in my life – and in such a way to do a deep bow to them in the work that I do?” Turning attention outward vs inward Being one among many vs trying to be something or someone special The healing impact of getting out into the natural world His poem “Harrowing” To know when to say, “enough” because the rest of the world and the rest of my life is waiting Parker Palmer Links Homepage Facebook Twitter The Great Courses Plus – Thousands of courses in virtually any topic and you can listen on demand anywhere. Get a full month for FREE! thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolf Thirdlove – they have 70 sizes including their signature 1/2 cup sizes! Find your perfect fit online in 60 seconds with their no tape measure needed fit finder. Get 15% off our first order at www.thirdlove.com/wolf Robinhood is an investing app that allows you to buy and sell stocks, EFTs, Options, and Cryptos all commission free at any level. All it takes to do so is 4 taps in the app on your smartphone so it makes investing easy for beginners and experienced people alike. For The One You Feed listeners, get a free stock like Apple, Ford, or Sprint to help you build your portfolio by going to youfeed.robinhood.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In This Interview, Dean Sluyter and I Discuss… His book, Fear Less: Living Beyond Fear, Anxiety, Anger, and Addiction Right View and how it relates to having less fear in your life How right view is always liberating Asking, “does it help?” “One mustn’t assume burdens that God doesn’t lay upon us. The state of worry is not itself meritorious.” CS Lewis The problem with trying to control your mind Transcendental Meditation Hanging out in tasklessness The open space of awareness How thought doesn’t have to go away in order to meditate Relax your grip, and relax back into yourself It doesn’t grip you, it has no power to do that. You grip it. What it means to relax at the moment of contact Relax into it, stop the resistance of it Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional suffering = pain x resistance Dean Sluyter Links Homepage Meditation Youtube Twitter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Megan Devine is a pioneer in the fields of grief support and emotional intelligence. Since 2009, she’s been writing and talking about grief and love, shaking up our culture’s ideas about both all along the way. In this episode we discuss these topics along with her newest book,It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Megan Devine and I Discuss… Her book, It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand That the way we deal with grief in our culture is broken How grief is a no-win situation for everyone The fact that we don’t like to talk about grief How we carry losses with us The myth that happiness is the same as health and that if you’re not happy, you’re doing something wrong That some things cannot be fixed, they can only be carried How cruel it is to say everything happens for a reason and that you create your reality Our limited tools for going through difficulty Victim blaming How we can’t be 100% safe That we aren’t 100% in control of how we react to things If we think grief is a problem to be solved, all of our tools will fail us Sadness isn’t a problem either How you can’t “get over it and put it behind you” The importance of having pain Heard, Honored and Validated The power of listening and curiosity Thinking of pain as an experience to be tended The things we have to live through and endure, that we can’t escape Making these difficult things gentler on us Decreasing suffering inside of grief Wellness vs. worseness Paying attention to the cause and effect of things The hierarchy of grief Treating compassion as the abundant resource that it is Hope Meeting people where they are Asking: Do you want empathy or a problem solved right now? Asking: What do you need in this moment? What would feel useful right now? You can’t heal someone’s pain by trying to take it away from them The importance of showing yourself kindness Megan Devine Links Homepage Animation on Grief Instagram Twitter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jonathan Rauch is a senior fellow at the Brookings Institute, the author of 6 books (and many, many articles) and is a contributing editor of The Atlantic. His latest book is The Happiness Curve: Why Life Gets Better After 50. See what you think about the trends of happiness in your life compared to the tendency he describes in his book and this interview. It may be that the emotional peak of life is different than when you’d expect. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Jonathan Rauch and I Discuss… His book, The Happiness Curve: Why Life Gets Better After 50 Connection to others Generosity The factors that most contribute to our happiness The U shape curve of happiness in life The emotional peak of life How our expectations change as life goes on That our values continue to change The fact that our brains change over the course of a lifetime How the effects of connectedness are cumulative and durable The hedonic treadmill What to do to be happier at the bottom of the curve The suffering that comes from social comparison Staying in the present moment Internal criticism Guilt vs Shame in mid-life The benefits of being other-directed, other-oriented How the voice of impulsiveness isn’t our friend Jonathan Rauch Links Homepage Twitter The Great Courses Plus gives in-depth knowledge on a variety of topics like psychology, science, philosophy, cooking, photography and more. Watch or listen to a course whenever, wherever for FREE. To start your free trial now go to www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolf Phlur makes stunning, non-toxic perfumes, listing every ingredient and why it’s there. Visit www.phlur.com and use promo code WOLF to get 20% off first custom sampler set. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After a career as a designer in the tech industry, John Zeratsky became obsessed with the idea of re-designing time. He’s a writer who has written multiple books and his work has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Time, Harvard Business Review, Wired, Fast Company, and many others. In this episode, among other things, we discuss his newest book, Make Time: How to Focus on What Matters Every Day. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you !n This Interview, John Zeratsky and I Discuss… His book, Make Time: How to Focus on What Matters Every Day Understanding the limits on will-power Setting up our world around us so it’s easier to make the right decisions Creating more time in your day for the things you care about The two powerful forces that compete every day for our time “The Busy Bandwagon” The Infinity Pools Questioning the “defaults” in our schedule Creating a highlight for every day Living a “someday” life Finding more meaningful moments Urgency, Satisfaction, Joy Batch the little stuff Laser mode Taking back control of your time and energy Creating barriers to distraction Managing your energy Building your energy Focusing on the process not the outcome John Zeratsky Links Homepage Twitter The Great Sources Plus gives in-depth knowledge on a variety of topics like psychology, science, philosophy, cooking, photography and more. Watch or listen to a course whenever, wherever for FREE. To start your free trial now go to www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolf Calm- The number one app that helps you meditate, sleep and relax. For a limited time, get 25% off a Calm premium subscription – giving you access to ALL their content – at www.calm.com/wolf See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Marilyn Nelson on Her Beautiful, Powerful Poetry Marilyn Nelson is an American poet, translator and children’s book author. She’s a professor emeritus at The University of Connecticut and the former poet laureate of Connecticut. In this episode, Eric and Marilyn discuss several poems she’s written as well as the meaning behind them. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Marilyn Nelson and I Discuss… Her book, How I Discovered Poetry Her poem, Mississippi Her book, A Wreath for Emmett Till The poetry form of a heroic crown of sonnets Her poem, Rosemary for Remembrance Her poem, Let Me Gather Spring Flowers For a Wreath Her poem, Like His Gouged Eye How poetry comes out of silence and leads us back to silence The value of silence in a life well lived Silence, contemplation, and self-knowledge Our quiet center Her book, Carver Her poem, Professor Carver’s Bible Class Her book, Snook Alone Marilyn Nelson Links Homepage Facebook Netsuite by Oracle – the business software that handles every aspect of your business in an easy to use cloud platform. Get Netsweep’s free guide, Crushing the 5 Barriers to Growth, by going to www.netsuite.com/wolf Thirdlove – they have 70 sizes including their signature 1/2 cup sizes! Find your perfect fit online in 60 seconds with their no tape measure needed fit finder. Get 15% off our first order at www.thirdlove.com/wolf Blinkist – Do you have an ever-growing list of books to read? Blinkist can help! With thousands of non-fiction books distilled down to their most salient points that you can consume in 15 minutes or less go to www.blinkist.com/wolf for a 7 day free trial See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Roger Housden is a second time guest on the show – you might remember him from episode 152. He founded The Open Gate which is a conference and workshop center in England that introduced the work of Ram Dass and Thich Nhat Hanh and many others into Europe. You also might have seen his work featured in places like O Magazine, The New York Times and The Los Angeles Times. In this episode, Roger and Eric discuss his beautiful book, 10 Poems for Difficult Times. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Roger Housden and I Discuss… His book, 10 Poems for Difficult Times Saying “there is happiness happening” or “there is anger happening” rather than “I am angry” or “I am happy” How poetry helps us in difficult times That poetry gives voice to that which is unsayable The poet Ellen Bass How suffering can soften us if we bow down to it That you can’t fake surrender The opportunity in suffering is growth How poetry points us in the direction of possibility in suffering The poet Maggie Smith The poet Marie Howe Annunciation by Marie Howe The specific pointing to the universal in poetry Roger Housden Links Homepage Twitter Facebook Phlur makes stunning, non-toxic perfumes, listing every ingredient and why it’s there www.phlur.compromo code WOLF 20 off first custom sampler set Quip has guiding features that are a built-in support system for better brushing www.getquip.com/wolfand get your first refill pack for free See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Steven C Hayes is Nevada Foundation Professor at the Department of Psychology at the University of Nevada. He is an author of over 35 books and over 500 scientific articles. He is considered one of the founders of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. In 1992 he was listed by the Institute for Scientific Information as the 30th “highest impact” psychologist in the world. His work has been recognized by several awards including the Exemplary Contributions to Basic Behavioral Research and Its Applications from Division 25 of APA, the Impact of Science on Application award from the Society for the Advancement of Behavior Analysis, and the Lifetime Achievement Award from the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies. He is best known for his book Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life: The New Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Steven C Hayes and I Discuss… The One You Feed parable His book, Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life The ACT approach to therapy That you know if your thoughts are good or bad by the fruits that they bear The difference between pain and suffering The importance of putting the human mind on a leash That suffering comes from when we mishandle the present moment, and we amplify certain thoughts and feelings The meaning of Cognitive Fusion: when we can look only from our thoughts and not at our thoughts The importance of and various types of contemplative practice Various diffusion techniques (listed in a free episode download!) The concept and practice of experiential avoidance The full impact of acting for “short term gains with long term pains” The idea of creating larger behavioral patterns The role of values based action Steven C Hayes Links Homepage Facebook TED Talk See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Paul Hannam has started, owned and managed a number of successful businesses and he taught business and environmental management at Oxford University. His new book is The Wisdom of Groundhog Day: How to Improve Your Life One Day at a Time. Before you jump to thinking you know what he’s going to say about this – wait and listen to this episode. You’ll be surprised and intrigued by his insight and recommendations based on this movie. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Paul Hannam and I Discuss… His book, The Wisdom of Groundhog Day: How to Improve Your Life One Day at a Time The controlled experiment of Groundhog Day (the film) The life skill of experimentation Investigating our behavior Working on changing one variable at a time Keeping a journal Asking “what is my role in creating my mood?” Looking inward for the answer Making change 1 day at a time The action of our inner life Narrowing the spectrum of life through routine The inner monotony How you have everything you need to be happy now Slowing down with mindfulness Grounding yourself in your senses Connecting with nature The conditioned self The authentic self Conditioning, Circumstances and Our Mind How our brain doesn’t like change The 5 characteristics of our conditioned self Try looking at things in a new way Trying to control our inner state Letting go of outcomes Paul Hannam Links Homepage Twitter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tim Pychyl is an Associate Professor of Psychology at Carlton University and hosts a podcast called I Procrastinate. His book that we discuss in this episode is on that very topic – it’s called Solving the Procrastination Puzzle: A Concise Guide to Strategies for Change But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Tim Pychyl and I Discuss… His book, Solving the Procrastination Puzzle: A Concise Guide to Strategies for Change How it’s in the getting on in life that makes a life That procrastination can be an existential matter What he tells his children: I didn’t ask what you want to do or how you feel, I told you it’s time to make your bed. When we procrastinate we delay getting on with our lives Being an active member or your own life The two ways procrastination compromises our health Stress Fewer wellness behaviors Treatment delay “I’ll look after that later” Procrastination being a problem of self-regulated behavior I won’t give in to feel good Goal Intentions and Implementation intentions When….then… Giving the monkey something to do What’s the next action? Keeping it small Hacks to work around our irrational thinking Motivation and then Action or Action and then Motivation The meaning behind our goals Meaning and Manageability Asking what will this cost me if I put it off? Prefer tomorrow over today Thinking “I’ll feel like doing it tomorrow” Affect forecasting Thinking of your future self as a stranger Developing empathy for future self Self-handicap to preserve self-esteem Tim Pychyl Links Homepage Twitter Tim’s Psychology Today Page Blinkist – Join the 5 million people already using Blinkist to read or listen to non-fiction books in 15 minutes or less! Free 7 day trial www.blinkist.com/wolf Quip Electric toothbrush – the perfect stocking stuffer that will be used every day and everyone needs! They’ll think of you every day when they use it. www.quip.com/wolf get your first refill pack free TalkSpace – the online therapy company that lets you message a licensed therapist from anywhere at any time. Therapy on demand. Non-judgemental, practical help when you need it at a fraction of the cost of traditional therapy. www.talkspace.com/wolf Promo Code WOLF to get $45 off your first month. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hilary Jacobs Hendel is a psychotherapist who switched from practicing traditional talk psychotherapy to accelerated experimental dynamic psychotherapy. She teaches us that our core emotions are automatic and grounded in universal physical experiences. Her new book is called, It’s Not Always Depression: Working The Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to your Authentic Self. In this episode, she goes into great instructional detail about how to identify and process your emotions in the moment. If you’ve ever felt a strong emotion (and who hasn’t), this episode will teach you how to move through it skillfully, rather than having your strong emotions wreak havoc in yourself and with others. RxBar & RxNut Butter wants to build delicious food the right way – with transparency on their simple, real ingredients. Get 25% off your first order of their best seller variety pack. Use URL http://www.rxbar.com/wolf and enter promo code WOLF at checkout (the US only) Ancestry DNA- unlock your family story – the perfect holiday gift. To get it for the special price of $59 use URL http://www.ancestry.com/wolf In This Interview, Hilary Jabobs Hendel and I Discuss… Her new book, It’s Not Always Depression: Working The Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to your Authentic Self The 7 C’s of our authentic self The science and biology of emotions The change triangle The Core Emotions: Fear, Anger, Sadness, Disgust, Joy, Excitement and Sexual Excitement The 3 Inhibitory Emotions: Anxiety, Guilt, and Shame How core emotions have energy and want to come up and out- to be expressed Inhibitory emotions dampening our core emotions The difference between defenses and inhibitory emotions How to work The Change Triangle Trauma vs trauma The power of naming your emotions Our open-hearted state When our emotions overwhelm us, it can be helpful to have someone else process them Grounding and breathing The role of core emotions is to ready us for action so they are first physical sensations, traveling from the brain down the vegus nerve All core emotions have impulses associated with them How harmful self-criticism and self-judgment can be Relating to ourselves as a small child Healthy shame vs toxic shame Hilary Jacobs Hendel Links Homepage Twitter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Neil Pasricha is a New York Times bestselling author with books published in over a dozen languages. He’s spent 7 years (and counting!) on best-seller lists and his books have sold millions of copies. You may know his blog – 1000 Awesome Things – it’s won 2 Webby awards for the Best Blog in the World and has had over 50 million hits. His most recent book, The Happiness Equation: Want Nothing + Do Anything = Have Everything, is what we focus much of this interview on. You’ll learn really practical advice, grounded in research and science, on what you can do to be happier. Fin – Do you feel like you can never get everything on your to-do list done? Get a little extra help getting tasks crossed off with Fin, a digital personal assistant which can do things like book travel plans or find contractors to fix things around the house. Send Fin a couple of requests for free! Use the link www.fin.com/wolf Ancestry DNA – give the gift of finding out your family history www.ancestry.com/wolf $59 Quip – an electric toothbrush that makes brushing better at an affordable price $25 www.getquip.com/wolf get your first refill pack free In This Interview, Neil Pasricha and I Discuss… His book, The Happiness Equation: Want Nothing + Do Anything = Have Everything The 9 critical steps in achieving the happiness equation The 7 ways to be happy right now The benefits of 3 brisk 30-minute nature walks each week The power of random – or conscious – acts of kindness A complete unplug Why you should never retire Social, Stimulation, Story The importance of structure The bench test for all major life decisions His upcoming audible book on resilience The war between more and enough Neil Pasricha Links Homepage Instagram Twitter Neil’s New Audible Show See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Omid Safi on Radical Love See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ralph De La Rosa on the Mind as Your Teacher See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ruth King is an emotional wisdom author, coach, and consultant. She's a guiding teacher at Insight Meditation Community of Washington and she's on the teacher's council at Spirit Rock Meditation Center. In addition, she's the founder of Mindful Members Insight Meditation Community in Charlotte, NC. She has a Master's Degree in Clinical Psychology and is the author of several publications including her new book, Mindful of Race: Transforming Racism from the Inside Out. In this stirring, thoughtful and wise conversation, she touches on the heart of racism and teaches how we can move to heal this heart disease. Get Ad-Free Episodes and More Ancestry DNA - more detailed in the different regions globally- www.ancestry.com/wolf get your kit for $59 Casper - you spend 1/3 of your life sleeping so you need to be sleeping on the right mattress that's comfortable for you. Casper mimics the shape of your body. Affordable because it cuts out the middleman and sells direct to you www.casper.com/oneyoufeed promo code oneyoufeed get $50 towards select mattresses In This Interview, Ruth King and I Discuss... Her book, Mindful of Race: Transforming Racism From The Inside Out The value of being curious about the good and bad wolves inside of us Racism being a heart disease that is curable Her open heart surgery at the age of 27 Rage being an exit route Rage being energy moving through the body Habitual patterns of racism being a layer on top of the real issue that we can't tolerate - they are defense mechanisms Racial affinity groups 6 hindrances The structure of racism Racism vs Prejudice Racist vs Racism Understanding our own experience with racism and talking about it What it's like to be "membered" Individual vs group identity Diversity within the body of color Ruth King Links Homepage Facebook Please support the show with a donation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chances are, you've heard the name James Clear. Especially if you have done any research whatsoever about building habits. That's kinda his neck of the woods. His work has appeared in The New York Times, CBS This Morning, Time, Entrepreneur and he has taught in colleges around the world. In this episode, part 2 of a 2 part series, he talks more about his new book, Atomic Habits: An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones. You'll learn some really specific, easy and flat out "why didn't I think of that" genius methods to apply to your life and habits. Get Ad-Free Episodes and More Quip electric toothbrush fraction of the cost of other electric toothbrushes www.getquip.com/wolf and get first refill packet free Bombas INCREDIBLY comfortable socks which is reason enough to wear them but they ALSO donate a pair to a local homeless shelter for every pair that they sell get 20% off first purchase www.bombas.com/wolf offer code WOLF Blinkist- read or listen to thousands of nonfiction book summaries all on your phone in under 15 minutes www.blinkist.com/wolf to start your7-day free trial In This Interview, James Clear and I Discuss... His book, Atomic Habits: An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones Habits are a response to the physical cues in our environment Increasing the friction it takes to complete the task The more you increase the steps between you and the bad behavior or decrease the steps between you and the good behavior the better Habit stacking/Anchoring "After _____ I will _____" The more specific the better Social environment and habits You want to join groups where your desired behavior is the normal behavior Make it easy The two-minute rule A habit must be established before it can be improved Optimize for the starting line rather than the finish line Make it satisfying Feel successful at the end Bring the long-term consequences into the short term James Clear Links Homepage Instagram Twitter Please support the show with a donation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

James Clear on the Compounding Nature of Habits Part 1 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we talk to Dr. Gabor Mate´ about addiction A renowned speaker, and bestselling author, Dr. Gabor Maté is highly sought after for his expertise on a range of topics including addiction, stress and childhood development. For twelve years Dr. Maté worked in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside with patients challenged by hard-core drug addiction, mental illness and HIV, including at Vancouver’s Supervised Injection Site. As an author, Dr. Maté has written several bestselling books including the award-winning In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction; When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress; and Scattered Minds: A New Look at the Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder, and co-authored Hold on to Your Kids. His works have been published internationally in twenty languages. Dr. Maté is the co-founder of Compassion for Addiction, a new non-profit that focusses on addiction. He is also an advisor of Drugs over Dinner. Dr. Maté has received the Hubert Evans Prize for Literary Non-Fiction; an Honorary Degree (Law) from the University of Northern British Columbia; an Outstanding Alumnus Award from Simon Fraser University; and the 2012 Martin Luther King Humanitarian Award from Mothers Against Teen Violence. He is an adjunct professor in the Faculty of Criminology, Simon Fraser University. In This Interview, Dr. Gabor Mate´ and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable The degree of choice we have in life What is the Realm of the Hungry Ghosts? What is addiction? The characteristics of addiction Recognizing what addicts get out of their addiction The fundamental question is not “Why the Addiction” but “Why the Pain” How all addiction comes out of some hurt or trauma The different types of trauma The role of neurotransmitters in addiction How drugs and alcohol destroy the parts of the brain that allow us to make sound decisions Whether or not genetics play a significant role in addiction Whether our culture breeds addiction How our children get most of their leadership from other children How the breakup of family, community and clan is contributing to addiction The critical role of the culture in our the development of our brains Recognizing our inherent value To what degree we have freedom over our choices Without consciousness, there is no freedom Paths to recovery How compassion can help with recovery Developing compassionate curiosity towards ourselves Dr. Gabor Mate´ Links Homepage TED Talk Facebook See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices