The Mating Grounds Podcast

Signalling is one of the most important things you need to understand about communication, and in fact, it is the foundation that everything else is built upon. Almost everything that we’re going to tell you about sex and dating is about the signals you’re sending out or how you should interpret signals other people are sending out, and this episode tells you what you need to know.

This week we interview Jordan Harbinger, the co-founder of the Art of Charm, a podcast (and coaching company) that helps guys be better with women. In this episode, Tucker and Jordan discuss where the PUA industry is going wrong, and the correct way to approach dating and relationships.

One of the defining emotions in all types of relationships is fear. In this Q&A, Tucker, Geoff, and Nils address this issue, spurred by a high school kid who likes a girl, but is scared she may not feel the same way. This is a great question, and this episode begins by explaining why the question is so good, then teaches you everything you need to know about how to deal with fear in cases like this, including what the signs are that a girl is interested, how to ask her out, what the best first date is, and what to do if things don’t work out.

In America, it can be very hard for Asian guys to have success with non-Asian women. In this Q&A, Tucker, Geoff, and Nils discuss what to do if you’re an Asian guy struggling with non-Asian women, and what you need to do in order to solve this problem.

Many guys think they have to play it cool and act aloof around women. But what about high energy guys? Do they have to reign in their impulses, or is there a way to use their energy to their benefit when talking to women? In this Q&A, Tucker, Geoff, and Nils discuss the downsides and upsides that come along with being a high-energy guy, and how to turn it to your advantage.

This week’s episode is part one of a thirteen-part series explaining everything you need to know to become attractive to women. In the first part of this series, Tucker and Geoff discuss their embarrassing stories from when they were younger, sharing all the mistakes they made and what they learned from them. This is the funniest episode yet, and Tucker shares the discovery that quintupled his success.

This week’s guest is Dr. Diana Fleischman, an Evolutionary Psychologist at the University of Portsmouth. In this episode, Dr. Fleischman, Tucker, and Geoff discuss a wide range of topics including how nerdy guys can be attractive, men’s desire for sexual novelty, the importance of hygiene, ethics and attraction, and the importance of finding someone who fits with your personality.

In this Q&A, Tucker, Geoff, and Carin discuss how to get better in bed. The first step is understanding what it even means to be "good in bed," which entails figuring out why you want to get better and what your specific goals are. Once you've done that, the best path forward is experimentation--because there is no such thing as one way to be "good in bed." Tucker, Geoff, and Carin explain exactly how to do this.

In this Q&A episode, Tucker, Geoff, and Carin discuss what to say when a woman asks how many women you've slept with. There are several ways to approach this, and each situation is different. When a woman asks this question, she has a reason for asking it, and this episode explains how to find out that reason and address it.

In this Q&A episode, Tucker, Geoff, and Carin discuss how living with your mom affects your mate value, and what you can do to frame it in the best way possible.

Online dating is one of the most important and best developments over the past hundred years in dating. There is no reason not to be using it. In this episode, Tucker and Geoff teach you everything you need to know to succeed using online dating. After listening to this podcast, you'll know how to build a profile to show your best qualities, you’ll know what kinds of messages women do and don’t respond to, and you’ll know how to set up the perfect first date. Online dating is one of the best ways to meet women, and the information in this episode is invaluable for helping you learn how to utilize it.

Tucker interviews Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, the Scientific Director of The Imagination Institute, and author of books such as Mating Intelligence Unleashed:The Role of the Mind in Sex, Dating, and Love, and Ungifted: Intelligence Redefined. In this episode Tucker and Dr. Kaufman discuss, the false dichotomy between alpha and beta males, how to become more attractive, and how to develop true confidence.

In this Q&A episode, Tucker, Geoff, and Carin discuss how to deal with the fear of sexual humiliation that can come with having a small penis. This is a common hangup that lots of guys have, and Tucker, Geoff, and Carin explain why having a small penis isn't (usually) something to worry about, and how to please a woman with whatever you have.

It may seem unequal and unfair that guys always approach women. Why can't women come after men, right? It's not that simple. There are plenty of very good evolutionary, psychological and social reasons why men tend to do the approaching, and not the other way around. In this episode Tucker, Geoff and Carin Perilloux explain the biological and social factors behind why men approach women, and Carin also explains the risks women face in mating situations, which are every bit as daunting as the risks guys take (they are just different). We also cover the way to flip the situation and have women come to you: be famous. Tucker can tell you first-hand what that's like, and the risks that brings with it as well (it can be great, but it's not all great). Finally, if you want to meet women in lower-risk situations without being judged, then we'll tell you how to do that too.

In this Q&A episode, Tucker, Nils and Geoff tackle the problems of a professional magician. When you have a dumb-sounding or weird job that turns people off, then you have to change how you're framing it. You need to describe the job in a way that sounds less geeky, and also find women who are into the type of job you do. After this episode you'll know how to frame your job in a much more attractive light. As a bonus, the guys also detail exactly where this caller is going wrong in his conversations with women, and how to fix it.

Contrary to what you might think, bars and clubs are not the best places to meet women. In fact, they're probably the worst possible place you can imagine.Instead, you should make your dating life an extension of your social life. We'll tell you exactly what this means and how to do it, giving you specific examples of things you should try so you can expand your social life and meet plenty of great women without ever having to talk to a stranger in a bar. Most importantly, we'll explain to you how to think about finding activities, so that you don't just have to repeat our suggestions, but can think of your own.

Today's guest is author, entrepreneur, blogger and semi-professional football player Scott Britton. Scott is a guy who was popular in high school and college because he played football, but once he left college, lost all those advantages and had to learn from the ground up how to be really good with women. In this interview Scott reveals his best answers to the most common questions she'll ask, how to escalate touch with a girl in a non-creepy that makes her feel comfortable, and the right questions to ask her make sure you have a great conversation. After this podcast, you'll know exactly what to do for the first 20 minutes of an interaction with any woman.

In this Q&A Tucker, Nils and Geoff deal with the issue of how to tell a woman that you don't want children. A lot of women might say they're OK with this at first, but then change their mind later, causing problems down the line. Luckily, there's an easy solution to this. Tucker, Geoff and Nils tell you exactly what to say to avoid this problem ever arising (hint: this is the only time it's OK to lie to a woman).

If you're uncomfortable that you still haven't lost your virginity, then don't despair. The first thing is that you've owned up to it, admitted to yourself that you're not happy, and that you want to do something about it. Good for you. And thankfully, there is light at the end of the tunnel. You actually have a couple of options when it comes to solving this problem. In this Q&A Tucker, Geoff and Nils set out the different paths you can take, and what your next steps should be.

This is understandably a pretty common question. If you're with a girl who has some qualities that you really like, and a few that you don't, then it's natural to want to just change those few bad qualities about her. If you think this way about the person you're with, then you need to listen to this episode. Tucker, Carin and Geoff get straight to the point and tell you exactly how to deal with this situation, and what your next steps should be. Once you understand the issue properly, it's actually a simple solution.

Making sure you pick a good mating market is probably the single most important choice you make in terms of its impact on your dating success. So it's crucial that you get it right. Luckily Tucker and Geoff are here to walk you through the whole process. After listening to this podcast, you'll understand why a good mating market is so important, how to choose a city to live in (we'll recommend a few) and where to live in that city, and how to pick specific mating markets that match up with the qualities that you have to offer.

In part two of her interview, Dr. Kristina Durante shares more great, actionable insights from her research and her own dating experiences. Over the remainder of the discussion Tucker and Dr. Durante will tell you how men's (and women's) mating preferences shift over time, what that means for guys in terms of mating strategy, and why Dr. Durante is turned on when her husband takes the trash out.

If a girl is already in a relationship when you meet her, but she engages you and you want to keep seeing her, then the first thing to do is to be honest with yourself about what you want from her. Do you just want to have sex with her, or do you want a longer-term relationship? Depending on your answer to that question, there are a few different ways this scenario can play out.In this episode Tucker, Geoff and Nils walk you through what you need to be thinking about in each different scenario in order to make the best decisions and get what you want from your relationship with her, whatever that may be.

Long distance relationships are incredibly difficult. As a general rule, they don't work. If you want your relationship to succeed, there are a few key things you need to do to maximize your chances of making it work. Tucker, Geoff and Nils tell you what you need to know, as well as some insights from their own experiences.

A lot of guys are ashamed of some aspect of their sexuality, and this affects their interactions with women. If you are one of them, it's OK, you're not alone. This is common, and there are solutions. In this episode, we talk through some of the major issues surrounding shame and sexuality, and we'll help you understand some ways to possibly fix the problem.

For sex, men compete for women, but when it comes to dating, women are actually competing for the best guys. If you've implemented our advice so far and have stepped your game up and become one of those "best" guys, then you could be in a position where you have a choice of women to date. In this episode Tucker, Nils and Geoff tell you what traits to look for in a good long-term partner, why certain traits are important, and how they'll play out in the course of a relationship. Armed with this knowledge you'll be able to choose great women to date.

This interview with Dr. Kristina Durante is your chance to listen to a beautiful, intelligent woman's honest insights into what you can learn not only from her research, but also from her own personal experiences. After listening to this podcast you'll understand why women like bad boys, which qualities of your own you should highlight to compete with these guys, and why women spend so much time and money buying shoes.

Hooking up at a bar is a numbers game. You just keep trying until you find a girl you like who likes you. But online dating is NOTHING like that, and if you adopt that mindset, you will fail. To succeed with online dating, whether on Tinder, Hinge, eHarmony or the hundreds of other sites out there, you need to get specific about what makes you attractive, and make sure you display those traits to women who will like them. With help from previous guest Dr. Carin Perilloux, Tucker and Dr. Miller will help you to crack the code of online dating profiles, and create a page that demonstrates your best traits and attracts the right kind of women for you.

Some girls just want to get high, and are looking for a co-conspirator, but if that's not your thing then it can get awkward between the two of you. In this Q&A we'll tell you exactly how to handle the situation so that you can defuse the tension and both enjoy yourselves without making her feel judged.

Being very tall presents a couple of challenges. If you're a lot taller than average, you may be good on the basketball court but it can lead to certain challenges when interacting with women. But if you handle it right, then your height can actually be an advantage. Luckily this is an issue that our own Nils Parker has dealt with. Nils can tell you exactly what he does to make women feel safe around him, and along with Tucker and Dr. Miller's input, you'll learn exactly what to do and how to act in order to signal your softer side while also maximizing the benefits of your height.

If you've been listening to these podcasts and applying our advice, then you'll eventually reach a stage where you actually have a choice in the women you can hook up with (or you may already be there, if so, good for you). When that happens, there are certain types of women you should look for and hook-up with, and others you need to avoid (or pay the price). Luckily, you can benefit from our experience, because we've been with all types. By the end of this episode you'll know what to look out for in order to find great women who are open to hooking up, and you'll also know what the big negative warning signs are - and the potential costs of ignoring them.

John Romaniello is an entrepreneur, fitness trainer and best-selling author. In this interview Roman opens up about his transformation from skinny, dorky high school kid to becoming a bodybuilder, a model and a guy who's friends with Arnold Schwarzenegger. No one goes through that kind of change without learning a few things. Specifically, Roman will tell you how to develop confidence, the small change that dramatically improved his interactions with women, and how to highlight your good qualities in an authentic, organic way.

A lot of guys just want short-term hook-ups, but they have problems both accepting this for themselves, and communicating it to women. In answer to a listener question, Tucker, Nils and Dr. Miller tell you how to solve both of these problems, and explain how to be honest with yourself about what you want, and how to find women who want the same thing as you do.

If you're focusing on the getting a girl's number, you're missing the point. In this Q&A, Tucker and Dr. Miller are joined by our previous guest, Dr. Carin Perilloux, to explain you exactly how you're missing the point and what to do to fix it. After this episode, you'll be able to not only get her number in a natural, organic, anxiety-free way, you won't even focus on numbers at all.

Being short is a disadvantage in mating, particularly in short-term mating situations (and reaching the top shelf). That's life, and it's not always fair. But there are things you can do, and there are ways to compensate for your lack of height. In this episode you'll learn what to focus on instead, as well as some important tactical things you can do to minimize the disadvantage.

All relationship types are valid; from one night stands to a forever marriage, and everything in between, and most guys are going to experience all of them through the course of their lives. The question is not what kind of relationship you are allowed to have, it's which one is right for you at this point in your life? That’s what this episode is about–explaining all the different types of relationships you can have with women, and helping you understand which ones can be right at what times in your life. By the end of this episode you’ll know everything you need to know about the different types of relationship and you’ll be able to decide what it is that you really want and pursue it.

This is your chance to hear a smart, attractive women talk about where you're going wrong with women, and how you can fix it. Dr. Carin Perilloux has a PhD in Evolutionary Psychology and has worked with some of the biggest names in the field. She also happens to be incredibly attractive - so she speaks from a place of both academic and practical knowledge and can translate that into actionable advice. She'll tell you how to interpret what a woman is wearing, what guys ignore that is important to women, and how to tell if a woman is attracted to you.

Every guy has issues--that doesn't make you weak, it makes you human. Facing and dealing with your shit is what makes you a man. There's a right way and a wrong way to do it. If you're too open about it, you'll come off as desperate, weird and very unattractive to a girl. But if you do it right, you show that you're a man who can both admit that you have problems (like everyone) and deal with them yourself. In this Q&A Tucker, Nils and Dr. Miller tell you how to find the right balance, so you can build trust with women while still being attractive.

If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always got. To meet new kinds of women, you have to change your actions. Luckily, you can learn from someone who has walked this path. In this episode, Tucker, Nils and Dr. Miller outline what steps you need to take to meet new kinds of women. And this isn't just theory - Tucker himself is the perfect case study. No one has (or, rather, had) more of a reputation for being a player than Tucker Max, but he's now happily in a long-term relationship with a fantastic woman. He'll tell you exactly how he did it, and how you can make that change yourself.

Have you ever been put in the friendzone by a girl you really like? Of course you have. Everyone has. And once that happens, there are a few different things you can do. Tucker, Nils and Dr. Miller tell you exactly what your options are, and what you need to ask yourself before deciding what to do next. Once you've listened to this podcast you'll realize it's actually a very simple decision to make.

If ever you want an example of someone who went from awful to fantastic with women, then Charlie Hoehn is your guy. He went from being an embarrassed, ashamed, ignorant teenager to a star, who surrounds himself with smart, beautiful women and lives an incredible life. In this episode, Charlie reveals, very openly and honestly, how he did it and what mistakes he made along the way. He also tells some hilarious stories about his earlier failings with women and his journey to overcome those and become the man he is today.

Being nervous is not attractive. A lot of guys get nervous around attractive women, and there are actually evolutionary reasons for this.But if you want to get over it, then there are a couple of things you have to do.Firstly, you need to focus on the process, not the result. And secondly, you need to own your sexuality. Tucker, Nils and Dr. Miller tell you exactly how to do that in this Q&A session.

How do you build confidence? The key is simple: demonstrated performance. In this short Q&A episode Tucker, Nils and Dr. Miller tell you exactly what that means, and how you can put it into practice for yourself and reframe your goals to build confidence even in situations where you would otherwise feel uneasy.

You asked for it, so here it is. By popular request, Tucker, Nils and Dr. Miller break down exactly why assholes do well with women in certain situations, and why some women, at specific points in their lives, are attracted to assholes. They also explain why being an asshole isn't an optimal mating strategy for the vast majority of guys. Tucker also tells an incredible story about Britney Spears and Kevin Federline's relationship, including some shocking detail about her history that you haven't heard before anywhere else.

When you leave school, your mate value drops through the floor. You're suddenly competing with guys older, more experienced and more attractive than you are, and at the same time, all the girls your age are realizing how high their own mate value is. This is not a good situation to be in. But there are ways to level the playing field. Tucker and Dr. Miller talk you through the steps you need to take, including where to live (or travel), where you should meet women, and how to make your social life an extension of your mating life.

If you've ever wondered what women think and say about you when you aren’t around, this is your podcast. Today Tucker interviews Carl White, a Tony award-winning Broadway producer. Carl is the "gay best friend" to legions of attractive, single women, and he has spent his life listening to them talk about men, while treating him as "one of the girls." He pulls this curtain back and reveals dozens of actionable insights, including how to make women feel safe, how to get them to want to open up sexually to you, and where to go to meet great women. Carl will also tell you some of the most common mistakes you are making with women – and how to fix them.

College is when the world starts to open up for most men, and there's a lot you can do there to make yourself more attractive and increase your ability to have relationships with women. The main thing that you can change is your relative social status, and it's not hard to do. Tucker and Dr. Miller tell you exactly how to do that, along with explaining how to pick your classes to increase your mating opportunities, and how to find women that you'll have things in common with. The pair also share some of their funnier stories about their own mistakes with women from their college days.

Tucker interviews Dr. Christopher Ryan, the bestselling author of Sex at Dawn, the seminal text on the evolution of monogamy in human mating. Over the course of the hour, Tucker and Dr. Ryan touch on a number of fascinating subjects, but none more so than trust. Specifically, the idea that if a woman trusts you, she is more likely to feel comfortable exploring the limits of her sexuality with you. What does this mean in plain English? Provide a safe, comfortable space where she can trust you, and she'll let her freak flag fly. Normal 0 false false false EN-US JA X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-ansi-language:EN-US;}

High school sucks for everyone. That's just the way it is. It wasn't great for Tucker and Geoff either. But there are things you can do to make high school better. Tucker and Geoff tell you what you need to do to get the most out of those four years, including what type of jobs you should get and how to meet girls from outside of your high school. They also share their fantastic stories about how they "discovered" masturbation.

In response to continual listener curiosity, Tucker and Dr. Miller discuss their opinions of the PUA/seduction community. Not just what it gets right and wrong, but how its systematic assumptions about women, men and relationships prevent its 'gurus' from providing effective long-term guidance to young and struggling guys. Tucker and Dr. Miller also talk about howThe Mating Grounds takes a very different approach to women and dating that solves these issues and engages many others the PUA community doesn't realize even exist.