The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project

Anthony and Gregg have a huge announcement: THE NOID IS BACK. Gregg's segment was cut short on tv and Anthony gives his advice on what he would do. We list what brand's social media we'd love to take over before getting into headlines of the week. Josh Duggar is back in the news, a wedding is God's Will, and a teenager accidentally moves into a retirement community. Choo Choo! 

Anthony is back doing standup and Gregg is preparing for the NFL Draft. Anthony talks about what it's been like performing live again and Gregg asks for some advice on his son Walker not wanting to participate during birthday parties. Could JRVP merch be in the near future? A man bowls with his fathers ashes, another baller skips work for 15 years, and a bunch of people named Josh battle it out.

Anthony and Gregg talk about this historic day in American History. Gregg is making the most of his alone time at home and Anthony gives some advice on how to make the time go even quicker. Is improv comedy cooler than standup? We chat penis girth, sexy teachers and a huge, huge, huge rabbit.

Anthony and Gregg are back after their live show to talk about what they've been up to. Rummy had a large bird in his mouth that scared Anthony, Gregg hasn't been sleeping much at all, and Anthony talks about when he worked at the ArcLight theater. Anthony is looking forward to getting back on the road and Gregg is worried that he isn't happy with the podcast. A man is caught using an Elmo for pleasure on a nanny cam, an incest law is challenged and a woman found out she has two vaginas during childbirth. JRVP also picks a new sign off for the show. 

Anthony and Gregg went to dinner together for the first time in a year, and Anthony's dog hates Gregg so much that he made him go home.  Anthony and Gregg battle for who will donate sperm to Erica. We find out "What Would Anthony Do" when an elephant takes a giant piss. Headlines this week include Lil Nas X grinding on Satan, a coach being fired for using slurs as play calls, and a jockey being suspended after testing 1000 times over the cocaine limit. CHOO CHOO. 

JRVP has a big announcement that you can't afford to miss for their 100th episode. Anthony watched the Zack Snyder cut twice and Gregg had to explain to his children "death" to his children. The World Record holder (almost) for masterbating is in some hot water in Australia, a young girl was shot over a clogged toilet and a man is suing a company for using his mother's body for bomb testing.

Anthony and Gregg talk about what life will be like after Covid restrictions lift, Anthony's family is in shock over a sad story that happened this past week, and a listener questions how Anthony and Gregg find new and exciting books. JRVP is back with another segment of "What Would Anthony Do starring Eddie Murphy and Dan Aykroyd. A man propped up his dead wife with sunglasses to trick their kids at Christmas, a stolen slide from the park, and some sweet, sweet Rollercoaster lovin' makes the headlines this week. 

Anthony and Gregg are back to talk about being respectful and what they would do in each other's shoes in a new segment (title work in progress). A funeral home is getting some free labor, Papa John is doing the work to clean up his vocabulary, and a Pastor is telling wives that they are too fat and butch. 

Anthony and Gregg talk about their week and what it's like to work with the funniest man alive. Anthony thinks having a dog is harder than children, because children don't want to kill each other on the street. Erica reads a fan email in her corner and the guys reflect on Lady Gaga's dog walker being shot, a young girl being killed during an exorcism, and a killer rooster. We have a new favorite spanish rapper, everybody. 

Anthony forgot Gregg's birthday and also had to drug his dog, Rummy. Anthony, Gregg and Erica talk about who they'd clone and travel with. Headlines this week include a boy who almost became a mashed potato, a gender reveal going wrong, and Dr. Dre's ex not wanting to share clothes. 

Anthony and Gregg talk about a San Diego trip in which Anthony wasn't invited this time. Erica went horseback riding for Valentines Day and Gregg doesn't remember Anthony's 30th birthday. A man is caught having sex on the job while getting paid overtime for it and a substitute teacher gets caught masterbating in the classroom. 

Anthony and Gregg talk about the usual like Rummy in water, babies in water and Erica in bed. They also talk about the heartbreak of grieving for a close friend and whether talking about that usual nonsense makes you feel better.

Mailbag time! Listeners wrote in their questions to our email and Anthony and Gregg answered!

Anthony finally has power and on the fourth day he said "let there be light." Anthony and Gregg share their memories of Larry King before getting to this week's headlines: more monkey exploitation, a TSA agent tricked a girl for boobs, and a man ran around naked covered in guts carrying his dad's head. Who is the worst cook in America? As always, we close the show with the hot recommendations you can't afford to miss. Like $GME.  

Anthony is officially domesticated, cooking in his crock pot daily (5:30) and Gregg talks about how his wife is handling Trump leaving office. (9:20) In Erica's corner, Anthony talks about not changing his standup for other countries or language barriers (21:19). Some uplifting headlines this week: A baby giraffe was killed by it's mother right after birth, a Rabbi claims that the Covid vaccine will make you gay (31:31), a horse jockey died mid horse race from a heart attack (41:20), a pedophile petitioning to change the age of consent dies of Covid (50:05) and a Stalin themed cafe is shut down because well, Stalin. (56:04). Choo Choo! (1:01:04) Gregg recommends an article called "The Plague Year", Ricky Hollywood recommends "Interior Chinatown" and Anthony closes the show with a recommendation for "I am, I am, I am". 

Anthony and Gregg discuss the Steelers loss to the Browns in the Playoffs and how Anthony put the loss into perspective. Gregg is really into Koalas all of a sudden and Anthony talks about not being able to travel to Thailand. A guy got too drunk and changed his name to Celine Dion, Armie Hammer is 100% a cannibal and a girl is robbed at gunpoint for a dog. It's not creepy to have a sex doll, but it's very creepy to break it. 

Welcome to 2021! Anthony, Gregg and Erica recap their wild NYE stories and how a finger in a butt may have saved a life this weekend. Tayna Roberts has passed away, a 3 year old boy was abandoned in the cold before Christmas at a graveyard, and a nurse stripped their PPE to have sex with a COVID patient.

Merry Christmas! Anthony ran into Dog Walker Jesus and how Gregg kept Anthony out in his backyard for over an hour on his birthday. We break down Wonder Woman 1984 and how the hell it got made before getting into the best headlines ever: Hilaria Baldwin, a Santa stuck in power lines, and a Covid specimen in a Kohl's box, and the Nashville bomber's cryptic message. You need to listen all the way through to get to the best story of 2020.

Anthony turns 42 and wanted to share some of his favorite things: zebras, sex with horses, jewish dating sites and elevator shaft deaths. Leave him a happy birthday review on apple podcasts as a gift.

Anthony and Gregg talk about a homeless fan following Anthony and Gregg's family not leaving for the holidays. A man shot his doctor after accidentally ejaculating, China's Iron Crotch Masters fight to keep painful tradition , and the Boy Scouts create a hug booth for the elderly.Get an order of Five CBD Gummies for the price of shipping, go to GetFiveCbd.com! Ships to all 50 states!

Anthony and Gregg talk about Anthony's new frustrations and stories from when Anthony studied abroad in Germany. Anthony's dog, Rummy, is struggling with some barking and Anthony needs a new hat. This episode features a politician in a gay orgy during lockdown, a man named Adolf Hitler wins an election, Roald Dahl's family apologizes to the public and aliens hiding within us. Lastly, a UK mom is cleared after having sex with a 14 year old.Get an order of Five CBD Gummies for the price of shipping, go to GetFiveCbd.com! Ships to all 50 states!

Anthony and Gregg talk about their Thanksgiving weekend and give advice on how to tell your family you're moving across the country. Headlines this week are pretty mild: a penis in the sky, Elliot Page, women in men's locker rooms, American assholes, and a selling flight attendant underwear - simple.

Anthony and Gregg are back and talk about how they're prepping for a covid style Thanksgiving. Erica's episode of the Weakest Link on NBC aired and Anthony and Gregg had a lot of questions. The Pope liked some photos he shouldn't have, Santa Claus has immunity ,and penis biting fleas all are featured during this episode.

This week is crazy... Anthony and Gregg get on Erica for going out of town and then tell their favorite stories from the week: Children playing with bats, women strip searched at the airport, a robot wolf, and a whale being blown to smithereens.

Anthony and Gregg took a trip together and the results are hilarious. They share about their weekend and apologize to Erica for un-inviting her. This week is full of wholesome stories: Alex Trebek has his last moment on earth, a guy bathes in milk, a carrier pigeons message is found from WW1 and a heart transplant is fumbled.

Election night is here - we cover it in depth. Coming out, Rats in NYC, Antonio Brown and a decapitated head in a recycling bin.

This will be the hardest show description I've ever had to write. What does this episode of JRVP have in common? A man having sex with chickens while his wife films it, an ex nfl player sexually assaulting a babysitter, Phil Collins, and a man filming women in the bathroom.

Anthony and Gregg are back to talk about the hot mic situation going on in the NFL and how Anthony deserves a fly over. They reflect on times when they've had issues with each other in the past and Gregg actually has some notes. It's a depressing week, the pro bowl is cancelled, a man goes to jail for farting, a priest has sex on the altar, and a senator stuffs cash up his butt cheeks.

We're back! Anthony and Gregg talk about their week and how the Lakers winning impacted them. Anthony has a few notes for ATC and Gregg is a total pro who doesn't need to write things down. We take it easy this week with headlines. Holocaust denial posts, machete satanic blood smears on sorority houses, and the Pope welcoming a sex offender.

Anthony and Gregg are back to share the latest news about OCTOBER - that everyone needs to hear. Anthony needs a new pair of shorts and Gregg is dealing with a disgruntled neighbor. Cam Newton is dealing with COVID-19 and a Vietnamese Condom factory is being accused of reusing condoms.

Anthony and Gregg had an eventful week with the Santa Barbara zoo and a kidnapping. Jeremy Renner dropped a new EP but, we think we've outgrown that phase of our JRVP life - we're on to something bigger and better. In this episode we talk about "cakes", lesbian couples chopping people up, and a Russian Jesus.

We're back and as fresh as your mother's candle! Anthony and Gregg get back together for the season 3 kickoff of JRVP to talk about leaving Comedy Central, Girls Gone Wild, Epstein and candles. Kick back, order a pizza, and listen as we break down the funniest headlines and 20 years of friendship.

The season 2 finale is HERE. Anthony and Gregg reflect on the past two seasons and what happens next. Will there be a season 3? Will it be with Comedy Central? Is Kim Jong Un dead? So many questions.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anthony and Gregg are back to discuss how they're holding up in the Quarantine and how they're keeping their sanity. Anthony loves the Last Dance documentary and is disappointed Gregg and Erica didn't watch it. An episode full of relationships with chandeliers and Frozen 2 sex logs.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anthony and Gregg recap their week in Quarantine and rank the order in which family member of Gregg's should "go" first in the pandemic. They weigh in their opinions on sexting, and also talk about racism.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anthony, Gregg, and Erica successfully create their first virtual podcast! Anthony and Gregg talk about their weeks and the chance of a season 3 of the podcast and how Gregg is really enjoying quarantine. They talk about who is most likely to survive an apocalypse and a train attempting to crash into a boat.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We were asked to do a special half hour block of our podcast for charity. We did it. It will not be a part of their live show. Here's what happened.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anthony. Gregg, and Erica brave the elements and get together to record. Gregg asks Anthony about his tweet storm and why he deleted them before they get into the biggest news of 2020 - a brand new Jeremy Renner EP. Grab your pet crocodile and cuddle up! 66.This episode is brought to you by Hims. Use code VANITY at checkout.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Coronavirus can't slow down JRVP. Anthony, Gregg and Erica venture out to social distance together to go over the week, child support payments, parties, and how Anthony is losing his mind. What super hero would you let expose themselves and not be upset?This episode is brought to you by Hims (visit ForHims.com/VANITY), and Manscaped (visit Manscaped.com, enter code VANITY at checkout).Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anthony, Gregg, and Erica RISKED THEIR LIVES for this podcast. The studio may be closed, but nothing, not even a quarantine, could stop JRVP. Recorded from Anthony's penthouse, they discuss life on lockdown, blood dripping down walls, Smurf festivals, and a "beautiful story". Gregg pitches Comedy Central on sending JRVP to Mexico for an exploding hammer festival.This episode is brought to you by Manscaped (visit Manscaped.com, enter code VANITY at checkout).Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anthony and Gregg talk about their week and celebrate the exciting 63rd episode. Gregg and Anthony share their 63ing experiences before getting into how to prevent coronavirus. Smell your hands.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anthony and Gregg have a lot to hash out after a birthday fall out that left Anthony pretty annoyed. Gregg apologizes and they break it down before moving on to the start of Good Talk and an interview about Anthony's penis. Stick around for the Mardi Gras float deaths and Nazi parades.This episode is brought to you by Everyday Decisions with Jo Firestone (available on Apple Podcasts), and Manscaped (visit Manscaped.com, enter code VANITY at checkout).Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anthony is feeling a little under the weather, but not too sick to put a podcast reviewer in his place. Anthony and Gregg talk about their long weekends and how they spent Valentine's Day before getting into headlines. A bus driver leaves a bus full of students and walks off, the coronavirus spreads even further and Papa John is a liar.This episode is brought to you by Hims (visit ForHims.com/VANITY), and Manscaped (visit Manscaped.com, enter code VANITY at checkout).Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

JRVP is back to discuss reddit, Tom Ford jackets, and the marketing strategies of Sea World before diving into headlines surrounding Oscar weekend and Blac Chyna. Oh, and fatal stabbings with nail clippers.This episode is presented by Hims. Use code VANITY at checkout.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After a week off to recover from some Pro Bowl hangover, JRVP is back in full swing to talk about the Super Bowl and how sexy the half time show was. Anthony and Gregg reflect on the Kobe tragedy and Anthony talks about when it's the right time to make a joke on twitter. We also talk about Furries and Hitler and the two of them together.This episode is brought to you by Manscaped (visit Manscaped.com, enter code VANITY at checkout). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's the PRO BOWL! Anthony and Gregg break down the best players in the league who weren't good enough to make it to the Super Bowl. Anthony and Gregg also discuss human pee on escalators, feces sandwiches, and fighting ex wives in combat, you know, normal stuff.This episode is brought to you by Hims (visit ForHims.com/VANITY), and Manscaped (visit Manscaped.com, enter code VANITY at checkout).Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anthony and Gregg are back to talk about Walker's birthday and what Anthony did all week since he is now "off the sauce". The guys talk about the most disgusting things they ever ate and also the spiciest. Also in this episode of JRVP Antonio Brown is throwing bags of d**ks, a masterbating man is fighting off cops and One Million Moms banned together to protest this podcast.This episode is brought to you by Away (visit awaytravel.com/VANITY, and enter code VANITY at checkout).Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forget Anthony's birthday, forget Christmas and forget New Year's Eve... it's Jeremy Renner's 49th birthday! JRVP celebrates hard by going to see CATS, encouraging children to smoke cigarettes, and keeping a dead husband in a freezer for 10 years.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hop on the nearest "one-horse open sleigh" and ride along with Anthony and Gregg for their annual Christmas episode before the holidays. Anthony is the most hungover he's been (in a while) and Gregg reads some funny Christmas cards. Remember, Santa Claus is always watching.This episode is brought to you by Manscaped (visit Manscaped.com, enter code VANITY at checkout).Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anthony and Gregg talk about their weeks where Anthony had a show and Gregg went to therapy. They discuss near death experiences before talking about porn mustaches and secret guns at a baby shower.This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter (visit ZipRecruiter.com/VANITY), PolicyGenius (compare and buy insurance at PolicyGenius.com), and Away (visit awaytravel.com/VANITY, and enter code VANITY at checkout).Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices