The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

I am incredibly honored to have Lundy Bancroft on the show with me to talk about what life is like after domestic abuse, post-separation abuse, and healing from trauma. Lundy Bancroft is the author of five books in the field, including the national prize-winner The Batterer as Parent, Why Does He Do That?, When Dad Hurts Mom, Daily Wisdom and Should I Stay Or Should I Go? He has worked with over a thousand abusers directly as an intervention counselor, and has served as clinical supervisor on another thousand cases Show Highlights Acknowledging that you do have a right to be heard about the injustice that was done. But do it in a way that is not hurting you (8:20) What to do when you get in a custody dispute with your abuser, why you need an attorney who understands divorcing an abuser, as well as, what to know if you represent yourself (10:51) The myth that a man can abuse a child's mother and still be a great dad. It's impossible. The single best predictor of how a man will treat their children is how they treat their child's mother (28:34) How a woman can increase her chance of a favorable divorce outcome (34:05) Social change and what is really needed to reform the family court system (45:14) How the fathers' rights movement is an abusers' movement and what we can do in the face of it (50:37) Learn more about Lundy Bancroft: Lundy Bancroft is the author of five books in the field, including the national prize-winner The Batterer as Parent, Why Does He Do That?, When Dad Hurts Mom, Daily Wisdom, and Should I Stay Or Should I Go? He has worked with over a thousand abusers directly as an intervention counselor and has served as a clinical supervisor on another thousand cases. He has also served extensively as a custody evaluator, child abuse investigator, and expert witness in domestic violence and child abuse cases. Lundy appears across the United States as a presenter for judges and other court personnel, child protective workers, therapists, law enforcement officials, and other audiences. Resources & Links: Links and resources may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/lundy-bancroft Last chance to Book a Sanity Saver Session in June!Lundy's website Lundy's books Mothers on the Rise TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you'll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

We are talking today about social media narcissism and other harmful effects of using social media; like cyberbullying and the growth of the mental health crisis among today's youth. My guest, Lena Derhally, helps us to better understand these topics during our conversation and in her newest book, The Facebook Narcissist: How to Identify and Protect Yourself and Your Loved Ones from Social Media Narcissism. Not only do we discuss social media, but we also delve into narcissism and how it shows up and is exacerbated by social media. This episode is not a call to arms to deactivate your social media accounts. Instead, it is a reminder to be mindful of social media and its effects on all facets of our lives, as well as a reminder to learn how to protect ourselves and our kids from the negative effects we are seeing from social media today. Show Highlights Why is narcissism such a huge topic right now? (4:22) How some narcissists are exploitive in nature and what that actually means (10:24) The subtypes of narcissism: grandiose, vulnerable, communal, and collective (6:29) How social media affects narcissism and narcissistic behaviors (24:16) The addictive nature of social media, influencer culture, and the effects on mental health (33:37) How the narcissistic thread in social media is impacting our relationships (40:21) Social media, cyberbullying, and its role in the growing mental health crisis of children (51:41) Why Lena believes there needs to be more resources and attention on the effects of social media (52:12) How to be an empathetic digital citizen (58:07) Learn more about Lena Derhally: Lena Derhally is a Washington DC-based licensed and Imago certified psychotherapist in private practice. She is the author of the Amazon True Crime and Criminology bestseller, My Daddy is a Hero: How Chris Watts Went from Family Man to Family Killer, and the forthcoming pop psychology book, The Facebook Narcissist: How to Identify and Protect Yourself and Your Loved Ones from Social Media Narcissism. Her work and expertise have been featured in Oprah Magazine, SELF, Glamour, The Washington Post, A&E, Hollywood Life, The Huffington Post, Law and Crime, Tubi TV, and more. She was formerly a clinical instructor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the George Washington School of Medicine, where she mentored medical students, and she is on the advisory board of 1455 Literary Arts. Resources & Links:Links and information can also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/the-facebook-narcissist-with-lena-derhally/ Book a Sanity Saver Session in May or June Lena on Instagram Lena on Facebook (author page) Lena's website How to Protect Yourself From Digital Abuse with Adam Dodge TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I've been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade. AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL OF MY DIVORCE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE IN ONE ONLINE PROGRAM. This program is 100% for you if… You're a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won't destroy your kids You're looking for answers and a roadmap You understand that divorce is a long game You're willing to put away your boxing gloves You want this to be a respectful and collaborative process in service of your kids You understand that divorce is, first and foremost, an emotional process and you're ready to 'go there' Are you ready to learn from one of the world's top divorce experts and set yourself on the path towards the best possible outcome? YEAH, Y'ARE!!! JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

This week I welcome to the show the anonymous woman behind the popular and informative Instagram account, Narcissist_Survivor. The purpose of the account and their work is to expose the truth about narcissists, which is also what we do in this episode. We discuss the complexities of being in a relationship with a narcissist, share red flags, and go deep on the topic of high-profile cases and narcissistic abuse. Show Highlights Red flags to watch out for when it comes to narcissists and dating (6:21) The patriarchy's effects on relationships and mental health in today's world (8:52) Narcissists may use the court system to perpetuate financial or post-separation abuse (16:04) Examples of narcissistic abuse in high profile cases such as Gabby Petito and Johnny Depp/Amber Heard (21:00) Abuse is not an anger management problem (30:45) Learn more about Narcissist_Survivor: Narcissist Survivor is an outspoken expert, advocate, guest speaker, specialist and consultant on narcissism, narcissistic abuse, domestic violence, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and abuse recovery. Narcissist Survivor began in 2013, typing the words "Am I crazy?" into the search engine, and seeing the word "Narcissist" for the very first time. That began three years of voracious study on narcissism, NPD, Cluster B Personality Disorders, Adverse Childhood Experiences, trauma, Complex PTSD, child abuse and neglect, as well as formal Domestic Violence training, and continuing education on these important issues. This in turn gave way to the creation of @narcissist_survivor on Instagram which now has over 183k followers in 2015. Find help, resources, information and support in your recovery from narcissistic abuse on Instagram @narcissist_survivor Narcissistic Abuse Recovery phone sessions are offered within North America. Resources & Links: Links and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/the-truth-about-narcissistic-abuse-with-narcissist_survivor Narcissist_Survivor on Instagram Book a Sanity Saver Session in May or June TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you'll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

Matthew Fray, author of This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach To Saving Relationships, has been on my guest wishlist for a really long time. That is why I am truly delighted to share our conversation with you. Matt joins me to talk about how men can show up as better partners in relationships. I first learned about Matt when I read his now-viral blog post, "She Divorced Me Because I Left the Dishes Near the Sink." It's not just about dishes. It never truly is, now is it? Matt shares his experiences with writing that blog post, the lessons he has learned since his divorce, and offers insight on how men can become mindfully aware of their spouses' experiences, share in the division of labor in relationships, and more. Show Highlights How his blog post aims to invite a conversation about what is allowed to matter (5:55) In relationships, there is a discrepancy between values, preferences, and things that affect one another (6:44) Marriage and the man card in cis-hetero gendered relationships (9:14) Matthew describes the invalidation triple threat: aka the ways in which we invalidate people when we disagree with them (17:14) Be mindful of the little things we are not paying attention to because they are often the root of relationship issues (23:41) We explore four key relationship skills including how to argue or disagree effectively (38:19) Learn more about Matthew Fray: Matthew Fray is the author of This Is How Your Marriage Ends A Hopeful Approach To Saving Relationships. With the humorous, entertaining, and counterintuitive approach of "The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F," and the practical insights of "The 5 Love Languages," "This Is How Your Marriage Ends" helps readers identify relationship-killing behavior patterns in their own lives - and offers solutions to break free from the cycles of dysfunction and destruction. Fray is a relationship coach and writer who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage and divorce to help others avoid making the same mistakes he did. His writing has been featured in The New York Times, The Sunday Times, The Huffington Post, Babble, and many more. His blog Must Be This Tall To Ride has a dedicated following and has reached millions of readers. Resources & Links: Book a Sanity Saver Session in May or June Matthew's website Matthew's new book Matthew on Twitter Matthew on Facebook She Divorced Me Because I Left the Dishes by the Sink TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINK Proof. Protection. Peace of Mind. The Soberlink remote alcohol monitoring system consists of a portable breathalyzer with wireless technology for real-time results. With proven use as the leading choice in child custody cases since 2011, we are the only system that combines: Court admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Trust the Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to support the best interests of the child in your Family Law cases. JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

Digital abuse is becoming an increasingly large problem. In this episode, Adam Dodge joins me for a discussion about the ways in which current or former partners may be misusing the internet and tech to harm individuals in unhealthy and abusive relationships. Adam is a licensed attorney whose work is characterized by his dedication to preventing and addressing the ways adults and children are harmed online and via their devices. He is the founder of EndTAB and is an internationally recognized digital safety expert who believes you do not have to be a tech expert to stay safe in the digital age. Together we discuss all things digital safety, autonomy, and abuse. Adam shines a light on unauthorized account access, digital gaslighting, and tracking devices. This episode is a reminder that you can prevent the violation of your digital safety, often more easily than you think. Online abuse is deeply traumatic and harmful. You deserve to be safe in your relationships, whether you are offline or online. Show Highlights How technology is used as a tactic in abuse (4:53) Unauthorized account access: personal autonomy includes consent to your accounts, technology, and apps (6:01) What you need to know about password safety and other steps to take in order to protect your online accounts (9:19) Dealing with harassment on social media, why blocking someone could have unintended consequences, and why you might want to mute/restrict instead (17:03) Adam answers the question, "Can my Amazon Echo be used for eavesdropping?" (25:39) How to figure out if you have a spy device in your home (26:38) Everything you need to know about stalkerware (39:10) Can your ex mirror your computer or device and see everything you are inputting? (34:28) Adam tells us about Smartphone air tags which are being used as a tracking device (41:19) Learn more about Adam Dodge: The founder of EndTAB, Adam is an internationally recognized digital safety expert who believes you do not have to be a tech expert to stay safe in the digital age. His work is characterized by his dedication to preventing and addressing the ways adults and children are harmed online and via their devices. He has written and presented extensively on digital safety, online abuse prevention, technology-enabled abuse, and co-authored the first safety advisory on the emerging threat of 'deepfakes.' A frequent speaker and lecturer at universities and national conferences, Adam is also a special advisor to the Coalition Against Stalkerware and sits on the World Economic Forum's Digital Justice Advisory Committee. His work and expertise has been featured on CBS and in Vogue, the MIT Technology Review, Washington Post, NBC News, the Verge, Mashable, Wall Street Journal, SELF Magazine, Los Angeles Times, GQ, HuffPost and others. Adam is a licensed attorney in California and prior to founding EndTAB, he spent 9 years leading the legal department at Southern California Domestic Violence Nonprofit. He earned his B.A. from UC Santa Barbara and his J.D. by way of McGeorge School of Law and Hastings College of the Law. Resources & Links:Information and resources may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/how-to-protect-yourself-from-digital-abuse-with-adam-dodge All New Should I Stay or Should I Go? programAdam's websiteAdam on InstagramAdam on Twitter Adam on LinkedIn Fing App Stopstalkerware.org Consumer Reports security planner TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I've been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade. AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL OF MY DIVORCE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE IN ONE ONLINE PROGRAM. This program is 100% for you if… You're a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won't destroy your kids You're looking for answers and a roadmap You understand that divorce is a long game You're willing to put away your boxing gloves You want this to be a respectful and collaborative process in service of your kids You understand that divorce is, first and foremost, an emotional process and you're ready to 'go there' Are you ready to learn from one of the world's top divorce experts and set yourself on the path towards the best possible outcome? YEAH, Y'ARE!!! JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

This week I have the joy of welcoming the exEXPERTS, T.H. Irwin and Jessica Klingbaum, to the show. They're best friends who got divorced at the same time 14 years ago but had totally different divorce experiences. In this episode, they share their experience maneuvering through the overwhelming journey of divorce. They also share how they've used their own divorce experiences to create a place online where anyone can go for any phase of divorce, answer all the questions, and feel educated about the process and everything that goes into it. Show Highlights T.H. and Jessica share the parallels as well as the big differences between their divorce stories (5:50) How and why they decided to create their online platform, exEXPERTS (17:15) Honoring the tough issues of divorce including abuse in relationships (17:35) Owning your own experience and story of divorce (26:23) T.H. shares her experience divorcing a narcissist (33:46) Learn more about T.H. Irwin & Jessica Klingbaum: T.H. Irwin and Jessica Klingbaum are the co-founders of the online platform, exEXPERTS. They're best friends who got divorced at the same time 14 years ago, but had TOTALLY different divorce experiences. They realized back then that they didn't have the right resources to understand all the options and the different choices they needed to make, but they did have each other. So they used their own divorce experiences to create a place online where anyone can go for any phase of divorce, to answer all the questions and to feel educated about the process and everything that goes into it. As they like to say, they've lived it, so they get it! Resources & Links:Information and resources may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/owning-your-divorce-story-with-t-h-irwin-and-jessica-klingbaum The exExperts The exExperts on Instagram The exExperts on TikTok The exExperts on Facebook The exExperts on LinkedIn TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you'll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

This week I'm re-airing my episode with Dr. Elizabeth Cohen, where we discussed how to cope when your partner has an active addiction. Dr. Elizabeth Cohen helps people get a little more comfortable with something as painful as addiction and divorce. When you're living with or divorcing a partner who has an active addiction, you may find yourself acting out different behaviors including the need to control every situation. You may become (or already be!) codependent, and you focus on their healing instead of your own. When you finally take the focus off of them and towards yourself you can begin to see light at the end of what may be a very dark tunnel. Show Highlights When women share themselves openly and honestly, the world begins to split open (9:21) Focusing on your growth and healing is how we change our circumstances (11:06) Sublimating your own needs for someone else (23:00) Breaking the cycle of codependency (24:15) The core issue about a person abusing any substance is the difficulty sitting with emotions (34:41) A partner should never be responsible for healing the other (38:36) Some advice for those who are living with an active addict (47:33) Learn More About Dr. Cohen: Dr. Cohen is the CEO and founder of the online divorce course and membership Afterglow: The Light at the Other Side of Divorce. This 14 week course teaches women how to heal, grow and thrive after divorce no matter how difficult the process has been. Dr. Cohen offers a monthly membership program to provide 1:1 coaching, expert support from divorce professionals and an engaged community of like-minded people. Dr. Cohen received her PhD in clinical psychology from Boston University. She was the recipient of the prestigious American Psychological Foundation Research Award for her doctoral research. She has been featured on the Tamron Hall Show, the Wall Street Journal, NBC News, Women's Health, Huff Post, Thrive Global, Daily Beast and Good Housekeeping. Dr. Cohen is a weekly contributor to Psychology Today with her "Divorce Course" column. Resources & Links: Information and resources may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/tbt-addiction-and-divorce-with-dr-elizabeth-cohen The Revised Should I Stay or Should I Go is Now Available! Dr. Cohen's website Dr. Cohen on Instagram Facebook The Divorce Doctor- Elizabeth Cohen,PhD 14 Day Step-By-Step Guide To Make Any Tough Decision While Going Through Divorce 3 Steps to Take Right Now for A Stress-Free Divorce Our Happy Divorce Livestream, Drugs, Alcohol, and Divorce with Kate and Elizabeth Should I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group

This week I am talking about covert emotional abuse with philanthropist and passionate human rights advocate, Annette Oltmans. Annette helps bring awareness to covert emotional abuse, a dangerous and common form of Domestic Violence. If you are a victim or think you might be a victim, this is a must-listen episode. Annette's personal experiences of prolonged emotional abuse in marriage and her extensive journey of recovery including comprehensive field research into the topics of Original Abuse and Double Abuse® ignited her passion for founding The M3ND Project in 2016. Show Highlights: What motivated Annette to found the M3ND Project (6:45) Some of the definitions of covert emotional abuse like blame-shifting or minimization of the victim's perspective (10:47) Annette shares the four pillars of abuse and what drives abusive thinking (25:50) Realizing you are a victim and changing the worldview of your relationship with your abuser brings on a new layer of stress (40:21) Abuse recovery and insights and advice for those thinking about repairing their relationship after their partner has begun therapy (41:00) Learn more about Annette: Annette Oltmans is a philanthropist and passionate human rights advocate. Annette's personal experiences of prolonged emotional abuse in marriage and her extensive journey of recovery including comprehensive field research into the topics of Original Abuse and Double Abuse® ignited her passion to founding The M3ND Project in 2016. While seeking the help of professionals and responders, she experienced Double Abuse® in the form of spiritual and institutional abuse. These harmful encounters compelled Annette in her relentless pursuit for solutions that involved interviews with hundreds of victims and survivors. She uncovered common threads that cause victims prolonged states of confusion as well as what ultimately led them towards healing. Her journey also involved interviews with hundreds of faith-based leaders and therapists which led her to discover that most are untrained and ill-equipped to identify and help victims of emotional, verbal, and psychological abuse. In working to prevent and remediate such harm, Annette developed protocoled models that are now being taught and implemented with therapists, churches and professional organizations across the United States. She consulted with esteemed experts in abuse, trauma, and healing to ensure the materials align with the highest professional standards. Annette also serves on the Board of Pepperdine University's Boone Center for the Family and is a Board of Trustee member of Northrise University in Zambia. Her writing on these topics of abuse, domestic violence, and bullying has been published in the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC), Teen Vogue, and numerous other publications. Annette is also a contributing author in the newly released book, "Created to Thrive: Cultivating Abuse-Free Safe Communities". Resources & Links: Information and resources may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/covert-emotional-abuse-with-annette-oltmans The Revised Should I Stay or Should I Go is Now Available!The M3nd Project WebsiteTools and Resources from The M3ND ProjectThe M3ND Project on FacebookThe M3ND Project on Instagram The M3nd Project on YouTubeThe M3nd Project on Twitter TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I've been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade. AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL OF MY DIVORCE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE IN ONE ONLINE PROGRAM. This program is 100% for you if… You're a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won't destroy your kids You're looking for answers and a roadmap You understand that divorce is a long game You're willing to put away your boxing gloves You want this to be a respectful and collaborative process in service of your kids You understand that divorce is, first and foremost, an emotional process and you're ready to 'go there' Are you ready to learn from one of the world's top divorce experts and set yourself on the path towards the best possible outcome? YEAH, Y'ARE!!! JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

After last week's Q&A episode, I received an outpouring of submissions from listeners with questions about co-parenting, relationships, and life after divorce. So I decided to do one more Q&A episode for you! This week I answer two co-parenting questions: one relates to how open to be with children about the details of your divorce, and the other has to do with co-parenting when your ex has a new partner. I also discuss mindset and mental health post-divorce, including how to cope with feelings of guilt or shame; and how to know if your new relationship is healthy for you. In this episode, I answer these listener questions: How can I talk to my kids about the divorce process when leaving an emotionally and psychologically abusive marriage? There are things I can't tell them in order to respect their relationship with my ex. How do I let them know I am taking a stand, his behavior was not okay, but also respect their relationship with him? How do you know if your new relationship is healthy? After divorcing a narcissist, I am finding it hard to trust a new man and myself fully. But, I don't want to sabotage a new relationship. My husband had a three-year affair with a co-worker half his age. He is still with her and she may end up being a stepmother to my children. My ex and I co-parent beautifully right now, adding her to the mix could ruin all we have accomplished. Help? How do I cope with feelings of guilt or shame over my divorce? Want your question answered in a future episode? You can submit one anonymously. Submit your questions or story, right here. Resources & Links: Private Coaching with Kate Anthony Listener Q&A: Co-parenting with a Narcissist, Dealing with a Manipulative Co-parent, and Supporting Your Children Through DivorceListener Q&A: Guilt, Denial & Changing Your NameJoin the 3-Day/Challenge Should I Stay or Should I Go? 11am PT in My Facebook GroupShould I Stay or Should I Go Facebook GroupThe Meadows Survivors 1 Program TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I've been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade. AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL OF MY DIVORCE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE IN ONE ONLINE PROGRAM. This program is 100% for you if… You're a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won't destroy your kids You're looking for answers and a roadmap You understand that divorce is a long game You're willing to put away your boxing gloves You want this to be a respectful and collaborative process in service of your kids You understand that divorce is, first and foremost, an emotional process and you're ready to 'go there' Are you ready to learn from one of the world's top divorce experts and set yourself on the path towards the best possible outcome? YEAH, Y'ARE!!! JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

Earlier this month I aired a listener Q&A episode which ended up being a favorite of listeners, as well as women in my Facebook group. It's important to me to cover topics that resonate with you. So, here I am again, with another Q&A episode! This time I answer four questions around the topics of supporting your children through divorce, including co-parenting with a narcissist and how to handle a manipulative co-parent. I also cover how to communicate you want a divorce to a partner who struggles with mental illness. If you like this Q&A format, I need your questions. You can submit them anonymously. Submit your questions or story, right here. I hope to hear from you soon. In this episode, I answer these listener questions: Can you provide suggestions or resources for children of narcissistic parents? How do you get out of a marriage or co-parent when your partner struggles with mental illness? What to do when your soon-to-be-ex-spouse tries to take full custody, restricts parenting time, and claims unfounded allegations, false narratives, or manipulative behavior to make you look like an unfit parent? I am worried about the effects on my children after staying in a marriage with a narcissist for 28 years. How can I support my children after staying in a marriage with and then divorcing a narcissist? Resources & Links: Resources and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/listener-qa-co-parenting-with-a-narcissist-dealing-with-a-manipulative-co-parent-and-supporting-your-children-through-divorce/ Private Coaching with Kate AnthonyJoin the 3-Day/Challenge Should I Stay or Should I Go? 11am PT in My Facebook Group Should I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group Raising Resilient Children with a Borderline or Narcissistic Parent, Margalis Fjelstad, Jean McBride BLOG: How To Tell Your Husband You Want a Divorce Are Your A Highly Sensitive Person with Dr. Amelia Kelley High-Conflict Divorce and Family Court Advocacy with Tina Swithin The Top Eight Symptoms of Narcissistic Abuse with Leanne Oaten TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you'll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

Dr. Amelia Kelley returns to the show for a deep dive into what it means to be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). Dr. Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist. She is a trained Art therapist, HSP Therapist, EMDR-informed therapist, meditation teacher, as well as a Certified Yoga instructor. This episode is near and dear to my heart because I identify as a Highly Sensitive Person. Once I learned what an HSP is and how it affects the way I see the world around me, it was truly eye-opening! We discuss what being an HSP means, strategies for self-care, and how being an HSP can affect relationships. If you identify as an HSP, think you are one or are married to someone who is - this episode is a must-listen. "Being a Highly Sensitive Person is not something to be changed or hidden. It is an exceptional quality. It's a superpower." Dr. Amelia Kelley Show Highlights Highly Sensitive Person (HSP): what is and how it relates to how your brain processes to the world around you. (4:21) D.O.E.S: Depth of processing, Overarousal, Emotional Intensity, Sensory Sensitivity. (5:12) Are you a Highly Sensitive Person? We discuss the HSP test and various results. (7:28) HSPs can also be High sensation-seeking Persons. (8:10) The challenges and strengths of being an HSP in a relationship. (13:43) Is being an HSP genetic? (21:25) Why HSPs get more out of yoga, therapy, or meditation sessions. (23:25) The highly reactive state of HSPs - both positive and negative. (24:08) We explore some of the ways HSPs may experience divorce. (27:42) Dr. Kelley's top 5 self-care strategies for Highly Sensitive People. (43:21) Some ways HSPs can be affected physically, including hypersensitivity to caffeine. (48:22) Learn more about Dr. Kelley: Dr. Amelia Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist who has conducted research on the effects of exercise on ADHD symptoms as well as the effects of resiliency on PTSD. She is a trained Hypno-therapist, Art therapist, HSP Therapist, EMDR-informed therapist and meditation and Yoga teacher. She is a presenter and writer in the "science-help" field focusing on relationships, Highly Sensitive Persons, trauma, motivation, healthy living, and adult ADHD. She is a guest podcast presenter focusing on women's issues and coping with the trauma of unhealthy relationships, as well as a coach and trainer for SAS's Work/Life Program in Cary, NC and a resident trainer for the NC Art Therapy Institute. Her practice is also currently part of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium at the Kinsey Institute. www.Ameliakelley.com Resources & Links: Resources and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/are-you-a-highly-sensitive-person-with-dr-amelia-kelley Submit your questions to me about divorce or whether you should stay or go, here! Amelia's website Amelia on Instagram Amelia on Facebook What I Wish I Knew Book on Facebook HSPerson.com The Highly Sensitive Person, Elaine Aron TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I've been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade. AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL OF MY DIVORCE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE IN ONE ONLINE PROGRAM. This program is 100% for you if… You're a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won't destroy your kids You're looking for answers and a roadmap You understand that divorce is a long game You're willing to put away your boxing gloves You want this to be a respectful and collaborative process in service of your kids You understand that divorce is, first and foremost, an emotional process and you're ready to 'go there' Are you ready to learn from one of the world's top divorce experts and set yourself on the path towards the best possible outcome? YEAH, Y'ARE!!! JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

The conflict some women experience in their relationships isn't always just "run of the mill" conflict. In fact, in many cases it is abuse. So, how do you know if what you're experiencing is conflict or something more sinister like narcissistic abuse? Joining me to discuss the top eight experiences of women who are in a narcissistic abusive relationship is Leanne Oaten. Leanne's passion is to guide women who are experiencing narcissistic abuse to end the cycle and get clarity on whether to stay or leave. Our hope is that by listening to this episode, you will be able to recognize whether or not the experiences that are occurring in your life, line up with the top eight experiences we discuss. And if they do, you can begin to seek out support and decide your next steps. Show Highlights The difference between abuse and narcissistic abuse. (4:19) How a narcissist uses gaslighting to distort your reality. (6:10) The extreme highs and lows women experience including love bombing and depression. (9:52) The effects of blame-shifting. (12:16) His or her crazy-making conversation is a tool the narcissist uses to divert from the original point so they don't have to take responsibility. (23:03) Trauma bonding and the narcissistic abusive relationship. (42:09) Don't go to therapy with your abuser. Don't do it. (46:05) Learn more about Leanne Oaten: Leanne Oaten is a former counselor with over 9 years of experience coaching and supporting clients. After working in the counseling field in private practice for several years, she decided to go virtual with her business to serve women all over the world. She educates and guides women who are experiencing narcissistic abuse to end the cycle and get clarity on whether to stay or leave. Leanne Oaten founded Awakening Women Support in 2018 to begin sharing her unique and no bullsh*t perspectives on the patterns of narcissistic abuse and posts daily over on Instagram at instagram.com/awakeningwomensupport. Resources & Links: Links and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/the-top-eight-symptoms-of-narcissistic-abuse-with-leanne-oaten Submit your questions about divorce or whether you should stay or go, here! Leanne's website Leanne on Instagram Awakening Women Podcast can be found on iTunes and Spotify End the Cycle EvolvePain to Power Bootcamp 3 Part Video + Email series TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINK Proof. Protection. Peace of Mind. The Soberlink remote alcohol monitoring system consists of a portable breathalyzer with wireless technology for real-time results. With proven use as the leading choice in child custody cases since 2011, we are the only system that combines: Court-admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Trust the Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to support the best interests of the child in your Family Law cases. JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

This week, we are covering all things domestic violence, law enforcement, and the court. Joining me is Kelli Blackburn, a San-Diego County based attorney specializing in high-conflict domestic violence, child custody, and divorce. Together we talk about domestic violence and the legal implications and give a full explanation of what domestic violence is and how it can intertwine with welfare services. We also explore the underlying litigation that may or may not come from a domestic violence case. Kelli shares in detail what to do if or when you find yourself in a domestic abuse situation - including how to navigate a restraining order. If you're experiencing any kind of domestic violence, please listen to my conversation with Kelli Blackburn. Show Highlights How to best educate yourself about domestic violence if you are currently experiencing it. (3:19) Clarifying what domestic violence is and what it encompasses. (3:43) Obtaining a temporary restraining order: everything you need to know. (7:35) How to know it is time to call a shelter and/or get out of a situation immediately. (27:32) Things to be aware of when you do leave, seek help, or go to the police, especially if children are involved. (26:17) The purpose of an emergency protective order and who can issue one. (36:05) What you need to know when law enforcement responds to a domestic violence call. (36:54) Victims don't decide to prosecute or not prosecute. That is the role of the district attorney. (40:02) Why it's important for victims to have attorneys who are professionals in domestic violence. (43:07) Know your audience: be aware that not every audience member of the family court will understand your action or inaction in a domestic violence case. (50:47) Learn more about Kelli: Kelli Blackburn is San-Diego County based attorney specializing in high-conflict domestic violence, child custody, and divorce. She was born in Northern California, but has been a Southern California resident for over a decade. She attended California Western School of Law, in downtown San Diego where she earned her Juris Doctorate. Throughout law school Kelli interned with the San Diego County Public Defender's office where she gained invaluable litigation experience. After graduating from law school, she ran a boutique law firm in La Jolla, California, where she became the main litigator and the Managing Partner in just 2 years. In the last 2.5 years, Kelli has represented over 1,000 clients and handled numerous criminal defense, and family law matters. She has also defended and prosecuted several Civil Harassment Restraining Orders. Kelli prides herself on her work ethic, tireless dedication to her clients – always working to achieve their objectives; her unwavering loyalty to resolution of their legal issues; and her paramount focus on the result of your case and your future. She has been recognized by both the American Academy of Attorneys Top 40 Under 40, and The National Trial Association Top 40 Under 40, for her success, results, and experience. Resources & Links:Show notes and links may also be accessed at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/domestic-violence-and-the-law-with-kelli-blackburn Kelli's website National Domestic Violence Hotline TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you'll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

Debra Doak is back on the show, this time to talk about all things conflict and divorce. Debra is a Certified Divorce Coach, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, Family Court Mediator, and the author of High-Conflict Divorce for Women. In this episode, we dissect what it means to have conflict, how (and why) it happens, and what to do when it inevitably shows up in the midst of your divorce. Debra believes that while all divorce involves some degree of conflict, most of us have much more influence on the cost and the outcome than we realize - and much of that revolves around HOW we approach and respond to that conflict. Show Highlights What conflict is and what causes it to escalate in divorce. (5:02) An amicable divorce does not mean no conflict. Divorce will have conflict. (8:47) What factors contribute to a breakdown in communication when in divorce negotiation. Debra also explains the "assumption iceberg." (9:44) The five ways people deal with conflict, including assertive or collaborative. (13:01) Effective mediation versus where mediation goes wrong. (15:06) Collaborative conflict divorce takes the longest, but it also has the best outcome for everyone. (18:09) How to invite your soon-to-be-ex into a collaborative discussion. (22:43) How to manage conflict in the moment: use the power of Yes/And. (32:22) Tools for dealing with a high-conflict situation or conversation. (37:33) The key to setting yourself up for success in divorce is preparation. (43:47) Learn more about Debra: Debra is a Certified Divorce Coach, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, Pre-Mediation Divorce Coach, Family Court Mediator, and the author of High-Conflict Divorce for Women. In addition to working one-on-one with clients, Debra spends time teaching and mentoring new divorce coaches. She is the instructor for the High Conflict portion of the CDC Certified Divorce Coach program, a long-time mentor coach for the CDC program, and is a co-founder and master educator at Divorce Coaches Academy - an online continuing education platform for professional divorce coaches. She is committed to helping clients speak up for what they deserve in their relationships or at the negotiating table. In her practice, she works one-on-one with clients to help them prepare for a kinder, gentler divorce by providing the practical support and financial information clients need to punch fear in the face. Debra is dedicated to the profession of divorce coaching and its role as a method of alternative dispute resolution. She believes that while all divorce involves some degree of conflict, most of us have much more influence on the cost and the outcome than we realize - and much of that revolves around HOW we approach and respond to that conflict. Resources & Links: Show notes and resources may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/conflict-in-divorce-with-debra-doak/ Debra's website Debra on Instagram Debra on Facebook Debra on LinkedIn Free 5 Step Guide to Speak Up and Say What You Mean Submit your questions about divorce or whether you should stay or go, here! Should I Stay or Should I Go? TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I've been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade. AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL OF MY DIVORCE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE IN ONE ONLINE PROGRAM. This program is 100% for you if… You're a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won't destroy your kids You're looking for answers and a roadmap You understand that divorce is a long game You're willing to put away your boxing gloves You want this to be a respectful and collaborative process in service of your kids You understand that divorce is, first and foremost, an emotional process and you're ready to 'go there' Are you ready to learn from one of the world's top divorce experts and set yourself on the path towards the best possible outcome? YEAH, Y'ARE!!!

Being in a marriage with a narcissist is exhausting. Divorcing a narcissist is no less exhausting. Tracy Malone is a surTHRIVER of narcissistic abuse, speaker, educator, and emotional resilience coach. In this episode, she joins me to share insights and information from her latest book, DIVORCING Your NARCISSIST: You Can't Make This Shit Up! Tracy's book is a fantastic reference for anyone who is thinking about or in the midst of a high-conflict divorce with a narcissist. During our conversation, we talk about how to protect yourself before, during, and after divorce. When you are divorcing a narcissist, knowledge is empowerment. Tracy is such a great resource on this topic. I hope you get a lot out of our conversation. Show Highlights Lessons from DIVORCING Your NARCISSIST: You Can't Make This Shit Up! (2:55) Why a rich narcissist can be much more vindictive than a poor one. (3:36) The masks a narcissist wears and how they use their masks to manipulate or trick the people around them. (4:28) Common mistakes people make when divorcing a narcissist. (10:31) The gray areas of the divorce decree! Tracy offers a reminder to get super finite about the details during your divorce. Plus, Tracy shares a specific decree that every divorce should have. (11:54) Post-separation legal abuse and how to protect against it. (16:14) Strategies for handling your emotional exhaustion. (26:27) Understanding (and having your support system understand) your triggers will be your salvation. (31:58) Why forming a team is so important to your divorce and how to determine what kind of lawyer you need. (34:18) The healing process and radical acceptance: addressing the wounds from narcissistic abuse and learning to let go of the things you cannot change. (42:31) Learn more about Tracy: Tracy Malone is a surTHRIVER of narcissistic abuse, speaker, educator, and emotional resilience coach. Tracy is the founder of NarcissistAbuseSupport.com, a global resource to victims of emotional abuse which offers support to those trying to break the ties with the narcissists in their lives. Tracy is the author of DIVORCING Your NARCISSIST: You Can't Make This Shit Up! Resources & Links:Show notes and links may also be accessed at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/divorcing-your-narcissist-you-cant-make-this-shit-up-with-tracy-malone Tracy's website Tracy on Instagram Tracy on Twitter Tracy on YouTube Narcissist Abuse Support Facebook Group Red Flag checklist are you with a narcissist? Questions to ask a lawyer before hiring them Parenting guidelines by state Pen Digital Voice Recorder Submit your questions about divorce or whether you should stay or go, here! Should I Stay or Should I Go? TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you'll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go?

I've been a fan of Leslie Bennetts for quite some time. She is a journalist and expert on women's issues who has spoken all over the world on financial security and women's empowerment. She is the author of The Feminine Mistake: Are We Giving Up Too Much? She is also my guest this week on the podcast! I am so honored and excited to share this interview with you. Leslie says, "After divorce, men's standard of living goes up and women's goes down a cliff." The system is broken. Moreover, the blueprint for women's lives is deeply antiquated. The women in my Facebook community have learned this the hard way. We need a new blueprint. Leslie joins me to bring light to this topic and offers ways we can work to rise up, overcome, and create a new, self-sufficient, path forward. "It's time for us to say, 'No,' this isn't good enough. It's time to rise up and defend our own interests." Leslie Bennetts Show Highlights Why Leslie wrote her book, The Feminine Mistake: Are We Giving Up Too Much? (3:29) We must stop telling women and girls that motherhood or marriage is the answer. (9:04) The feminine mistake is economic dependency. (10:15) Leslie explains why men's sense of entitlement is a problem for women. (13:52) Women should not blame themselves or be blamed for opting out of the workforce to be a caretaker. (25:31) But, it is critical for women to be responsible for their own destinies and financial security. (31:12) It's not your fault! You do have to cope with radical change, but it is not your fault. (35:22) Learn more about Leslie Bennetts: Leslie Bennetts is a journalist and expert on women's issues who has spoken all over the world on financial security and women's empowerment. She is the author of The Feminine Mistake: Are We Giving Up Too Much? as well as the biography Last Girl Before Freeway: The Life, Loves, Losses and Liberation of Joan Rivers. Resources & Links: Submit your questions about divorce or whether you should stay or go, here! Should I Stay or Should I Go? Leslie's website Show notes and resources may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/the-feminine-mistake-with-leslie-bennetts TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINK Proof. Protection. Peace of Mind. The Soberlink remote alcohol monitoring system consists of a portable breathalyzer with wireless technology for real-time results. With proven use as the leading choice in child custody cases since 2011, we are the only system that combines: Court-admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Trust the Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to support the best interests of the child in your Family Law cases. JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

We often talk on this podcast about identifying abusive relationships and offering ways to get out. But what comes next? Dr. Amelia Kelley, a trauma-informed therapist, joins me to discuss how to move forward after surviving abuse. She is the co-author of the recently released book, aptly titled, What I Wish I Knew: Surviving and Thriving After An Abusive Relationship. Dr. Kelley is also a trained Art therapist, HSP Therapist, EMDR-informed therapist, meditation teacher, as well as a Certified Yoga instructor. She is a presenter and writer in the "science-help" field focusing on Highly Sensitive Persons (which we also discuss in this episode), trauma, motivation, healthy living, and adult ADHD. This is a truly informative and resourceful interview. Show Highlights What Dr. Kelley's book is about and the unique way it was written from two perspectives: the victim and their therapist. (3:21) How Dr. Kelley works with victims of abuse in a therapeutic setting. (6:53) Friendship shifts in divorce or toxic relationships: Part of the mourning process to ending an abusive relationship includes ending other connected relationships as well. (14:23) What is a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)? (15:43) How an over-active limbic system affects highly sensitive people. (16:00) Is there a connection between HSPs and abusive relationships? (20:01) Some examples of thriving after an abusive relationship. (26:15) How to recognize emotional abuse and the covert ways it can show up. (30:26) The effect emotional abuse has on the brain. (34:33) Identifying your non-negotiables for future relationships. (41:00) Learn more about Dr. Kelley: Dr. Amelia Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist who has conducted research on the effects of exercise on ADHD symptoms as well as the effects of resiliency on PTSD. She is a trained Hypno-therapist, Art therapist, HSP Therapist, EMDR-informed therapist and meditation and Yoga teacher. She is a presenter and writer in the "science-help" field focusing on relationships, Highly Sensitive Persons, trauma, motivation, healthy living, and adult ADHD. She is a guest podcast presenter focusing on women's issues and coping with the trauma of unhealthy relationships, as well as a coach and trainer for SAS's Work/Life Program in Cary, NC and a resident trainer for the NC Art Therapy Institute. Her practice is also currently part of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium at the Kinsey Institute. www.Ameliakelley.com Resources & Links:For resources and links, you may also visit the show notes page here: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/surviving-and-thriving-after-abuse-with-dr-amelia-kelley Submit your questions to me about divorce or whether you should stay or go, here!Amelia's website Amelia on Instagram Amelia on Facebook What I Wish I Knew Book on Facebook HSPerson.com TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you'll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

If you've been contemplating divorce and feeling guilty about your decision, if you're wondering if you should change your last name post-divorce, or if you have a spouse who's in denial (despite you telling them numerous times), don't skip this episode! Why? Because this episode marks my very first Q&A episode! I asked my community of women to send me their questions and I received some really great ones to explore. Join me as I answer questions about whether you should stay or go, how to handle the complexities of divorce, and everything in between. I really hope this episode inspires you to submit your story or question too. I'd love to do more episodes like this one. So send your questions or story, right here. In this episode, I answer these listener questions: Why do I feel guilty over wanting a divorce? I've been so unhappy for so long. Is that a good enough reason to leave? Should I change my last name? Is it worth it? My husband is in denial about divorce. What can I do? Resources & Links: For show notes and links, you can also visit: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/guilt-denial-and-changing-your-name/ Private Coaching with Kate AnthonyHow to tell your husband you want a divorce TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I've been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade. AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL OF MY DIVORCE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE IN ONE ONLINE PROGRAM. This program is 100% for you if… You're a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won't destroy your kids You're looking for answers and a roadmap You understand that divorce is a long game You're willing to put away your boxing gloves You want this to be a respectful and collaborative process in service of your kids You understand that divorce is, first and foremost, an emotional process and you're ready to 'go there' Are you ready to learn from one of the world's top divorce experts and set yourself on the path towards the best possible outcome? YEAH, Y'ARE!!!

We're always going through some kind of loss, celebration, or change in our lives. Joining me to discuss the importance of ritual during times of great transition is Day Schildkret. Day is internationally known for the creation of Morning Altars, beautiful pieces of impermanent art. He is also the author of Hello, Goodbye: 75 Rituals for Times of Loss, Celebration, and Change. A conversation about divorce is a conversation about endings. In order to begin again, it is important to mark this transition. Putting things in order through ritual can be healing. It helps you to feel resourced, reoriented, supported and witnessed. Learning how to let go and honor what once was, through ritual, is such an important topic. I hope you truly enjoy this conversation. "Endings are valuable. The better you can end something, the better you can begin something new." Show Highlights Why Day says, "You have to change with change." And what it means to participate in ending something, such as a relationship or marriage. (7:52) Endings need more from us than just going through the threshold. (10:02) Ritual: what it is and how it helps. (11:26) Why you need witnesses for endings as much as you do for beginnings. Witnesses affirm you are not alone and also acknowledge that change is happening. (12:17) Life transitions: we need to mark the places where we are turning, if we don't we still think we are on the same path. (15:54) Day talks about Morning Altars and how divorce and grief inspired him to start this practice of creating impermanent art from nature. (23:51) Rituals always have a beginning, middle, and end. They are contained and allow the space for grief, uncertainty, and emotion. They encourage wholeness. (29:20) Day talks us through one of the divorce rituals from his book Hello, Goodbye: 75 Rituals for Times of Loss, Celebration, and Change. (31:31) There is a right and wrong time to do a ritual. If you are in the heat of a divorce or transition, it may not be the right time. (35:07) The importance of moving from grievance into grief. (38:47) Learn more about Day Schildkret: DAY SCHILDKRET is internationally known for Morning Altars and has inspired tens of thousands of people across the globe to heal and connect with nature, art and ritual. BuzzFeed calls Day's work, "a celebration of nature and life." Day's first book, Morning Altars: A 7-Step Practice to Nourish Your Spirit through Nature, Art and Ritual (The Countryman Press/WW Norton) ignited an international movement with a practice that renews and redeems our relationship to the living world. He recently launched the inaugural cohort of the year-long Morning Altars Practitioner Training & Certification with 100 students from five different continents. Day has an ever-growing and active audience of 64k followers on Instagram, over 25k on Facebook. Day has taught workshops and created large-scale installations at Google, The 9/11 Memorial Plaza, The Hammerstein Ballroom, The Andy Warhol Foundation, California Academy of Sciences, 1440 Multiversity, Lakewood Historic Cemetery, Wellspring Conference, The Culture Conference, Wisdom 2.0 Conference, Wanderlust Festival, The Assemblage, The Alchemist Kitchen, Butte College, Naropa University, the ReImagine End-of-Life Festival, and many others. Day's art is on permanent exhibition at the California Museum of Oakland and had been featured in the store windows at ABC Carpet and Home in NYC. Day has appeared on NBC, CBS, in the award-winning SoulPancake YouTube video series and in a stop-motion animated film on UpliftTV. His work has been featured in BuzzFeed, Vice, Well+Good, My Modern Met, Spirituality & Health Magazine. Resources & Links:Show notes and resources can also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/rituals-for-times-of-loss-celebration-and-change-with-day-schildkret/ --------------- Submit your questions about divorce or whether you should stay or go, here! Day's websiteDay's book Day on InstagramDay on Facebook TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINK Proof. Protection. Peace of Mind. The Soberlink remote alcohol monitoring system consists of a portable breathalyzer with wireless technology for real-time results. With proven use as the leading choice in child custody cases since 2011, we are the only system that combines: Court-admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Trust the Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to support the best interests of the child in your Family Law cases.

There is no one better to talk about the healing process of divorce than Dr. Elizabeth Cohen, aka the Divorce Doctor. She is a clinical psychologist, the author of Light at The Other Side of Divorce: Discovering the New You, and a true expert on the topic of how to heal and thrive during divorce. The last time Elizabeth joined me on the show, we discussed the importance of processing your emotions. This time we dig even deeper and talk about how healing is a slow, steady, and often imperfect process. We also explore how to become the most loving ally to yourself. —— Don't forget, next week I'm doing a three-part workshop in my Facebook group entitled: So You've Decided to Get a Divorce: WHAT NOW? The vital steps you need to take to move forward with confidence and clarity. RSVP to the invite here. Don't miss out! (Available only to members of the SISOSIG Community) Show Highlights No matter what you're feeling now, you have the ability to move through difficult times and actually heal. (7:28) Healing is a slow, steady process where you take micro-moments towards change. (12:22) We discuss the first steps to identifying and working through your emotions. (14:48) Loving yourself again means realizing that you and your needs matter. (24:31) If self-love is a hard concept at the moment, think of it as moving from self-loathing to a feeling of neutrality with yourself. (26:56) Toxic environments require you to shut down your feelings. It is not your fault. (30:55) Tools to continue to heal through divorce, including the "Sacred Pause" or writing yourself a love letter. (31:28) Learn more about Dr. Cohen: Dr. Cohen, a clinical psychologist, is the author of, Light at The Other Side of Divorce: Discovering the New You which debuted at #1 on Amazon in popular psychology. She is the CEO and founder of the online divorce course and membership Afterglow: The Light at the Other Side of Divorce. Dr. Cohen is the CEO of the Center for CBT in NYC. Dr. Cohen's online course teaches women how to heal, grow and thrive after divorce no matter how difficult the process has been. Dr. Cohen received her Ph.D. in clinical psychology from Boston University. She was the recipient of the prestigious American Psychological Foundation Research Award for her research on the emotional effects of 9/11. She has been featured on the Tamron Hall Show, the Wall Street Journal, NBC News, Women's Health, Huff Post, Thrive Global, Daily Beast, and Good Housekeeping. Dr. Cohen is a weekly contributor to Psychology Today with her "Divorce Course" column. Dr. Cohen's Divorce Doctor podcast which shares people's divorce stories hit 10,000 downloads in only 3 months. Resources & Links:Join Kate's Free Live Workshop on January 17, 18, and 19th. All you have to do is be in her Facebook Dr. Cohen's book Dr. Cohen's website Dr. Cohen on Facebook Dr. Cohen on Instagram TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage…once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you'll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go?

Earlier this week on The Divorce and Beyond Podcast with Susan Guthrie, she and I spoke about how to have the most difficult conversation of your life with someone: the "I want a divorce," conversation. Today, Susan joins me to discuss what happens next. Together we explore some of the things you should do right after having the talk, including how to build your divorce team and considerations for divorce proceedings or mediation. Susan Guthrie is nationally recognized as one of the Top Family Law and Mediation Attorneys in the country. She has been helping individuals and families navigate separation and divorce for 30 years. Susan provides online divorce mediation and legal coaching services to select clients around the world. If you missed part one of our conversation, visit Susan's website to listen! - - - - - Also: I want to hear your story and answer your questions! My work and my podcast are all about bringing you the most and best information possible on the subjects of divorce, escaping and healing from abuse, creating healthy boundaries and relationships, and helping you make the most informed decision on whether to stay or go. So, what questions do you have about divorce, or deciding to stay or go? Leave me a message, it can be anonymous, that I'll play on the air, and I'll answer your question on an upcoming episode. Show Highlights Why is January "divorce month"? (11:20) What is the first thing you should do after you share with your spouse that you want a divorce? (14:50) The biggest fallacy in the divorce process is that building a good team is going to cost you more money. (16:08) If the end goal is that you want to mediate, what is the correct path? (23:26) The key to collaborative or mediated divorce is working together. (28:33) Some approaches to divorce mediation and building a mediation team. (34:06) When you rush into your divorce and the emotions are high, you make your divorce take longer. (43:21) A reasonable expectation of a timeline for your divorce. (46:36) Learn More About Susan: Susan Guthrie, nationally recognized as one of the Top Family Law and Mediation Attorneys in the country, has been helping individuals and families navigate separation and divorce for 30 years. Susan provides online divorce mediation and legal coaching services to select clients around the world. As a leading dispute resolution professional, Susan is honored to serve on the Executive Council of the American Bar Association's (ABA) Section of Dispute Resolution as the Membership Officer and to be a Co-Chair of the Mediation Committee. After a year and half of co-hosting the award-winning podcast, Breaking Free: A Modern Divorce Podcast, which reached over 3 million listeners, Susan recently launched her fresh and inspiring new podcast, The Divorce and Beyond Podcast with Susan Guthrie, Esq. which debuted on iTunes "Top Podcasts" List for self-help podcasts. Divorce & Beyond is focused on pulling back the curtain on the mysteries of the divorce process and bringing tips and resources to help people to thrive and shine in their new future beyond divorce. Susan has been featured in and on media outlets such as CNBC, Market Watch, News Nation, Forbes, the ABA's Just Resolutions Magazine, Thrive Global, Medium, and many more. She is licensed to practice law in the States of California and Connecticut as well as before the Supreme Court of the United States. Resources & Links:Information and links may also be accessed at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/after-the-talk-how-to-prepare-for-your-divorce-with-susan-guthrie-esq Send Kate your questions or share your story, here.Join Kate's Free Live Workshop on January 17, 18, and 19th. All you have to do is be in her Facebook Group to participate. Private Coaching with Kate Anthony Susan's websiteSusan on InstagramThe Divorce and Beyond Podcast: WE NEED TO TALK: How to Have the Most Difficult Conversation of Your Life with Kate Anthony TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I've been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade. AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL OF MY DIVORCE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE IN ONE ONLINE PROGRAM. This program is 100% for you if… You're a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won't destroy your kids You're looking for answers and a roadmap You understand that divorce is a long game You're willing to put away your boxing gloves You want this to be a respectful and collaborative process in service of your kids You understand that divorce is, first and foremost, an emotional process and you're ready to 'go there' Are you ready to learn from one of the world's top divorce experts and set yourself on the path towards the best possible outcome? YEAH, Y'ARE!!!

This week, Kimberly Nelson returns to the show! We are talking about financial infidelity including how to recognize it and what to do if you find it's happening to you. Kimberly shines a light on some of the red flags of someone being financially deceitful, why it's important to exercise your financial agency, and explains why being aware of your finances matters for your divorce. As an Advisor at Coastal Bridge Advisors, Kimberly Nelson focuses on bringing clarity and control to her clients' financial lives. She works with them to create a strong foundation for financial health through innovative, objectives-based wealth planning solutions with an emphasis on marriage dissolution and transition. There are numerous types of infidelities; emotional, sexual, and relational. And there is financial infidelity, which is very hard to undo and recover from. Listen to this episode to hear how you can avoid it and what to do if you think it's happening to you. Show Highlights What is financial infidelity, anyway? (5:29) Why it is important to have financial agency and know what is going on with your finances. (9:24) Check and keep tabs on your credit report. You can pull your credit report for free, three times a year. Kimberly shares how. (13:13) Signs that you might be a victim of financial infidelity. (17:28) You know you want to get a divorce: is stashing cash for your divorce financial infidelity? (23:04) What to do if you suspect financial infidelity and how to have a conversation with your spouse. (33:12) If your divorce goes to trial, proof of financial infidelity will be crucial. This documentation is key. (43:07) Is it worth hiring a forensic accountant? (47:00) Learn more about Kimberly: Kimberly has been working with high-net-worth divorcees in the LA area for more than 15 years. She understands the challenges women face when navigating an overwhelming bevy of attorneys, accountants, insurers, and other advisors during the dissolution process. She values the strong relationships she builds with her clients and is dedicated to enhancing the quality of their lives, believing that ongoing successful wealth oversight requires collaboration between investor and advisor. She became a CFA Charter holder in 2012 and maintains a steadfast dedication to both her education and that of her community around financial matters. She's actively involved in the financial literacy efforts of the Los Angeles Center for Law & Justice (LACLJ) and serves as a board member and treasurer of Grades of Green, a non-profit that works to instill environmental awareness in the minds of elementary school students. Resources & Links:Information and links can also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/financial-infidelity-with-kimberly-nelson/ Private Coaching with Kate AnthonyKimberly on Linkedin Kimberly's websiteDivorce, Debt, and the Pandemic with Kimberly Nelson TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you'll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go?

This week Michelle Dempsey-Multack returns to the show! She joins me to talk about how to survive the holidays pre- or post-divorce. If you've gone through a divorce within the last 12 months or are about to start the divorce process, you are emotionally and financially spent. So, how can you get through the holiday season and feel content with the here and now? If this is your first Christmas alone or last holiday as a single-family unit, this episode will offer advice about how to create new holiday traditions, how to set boundaries, and how to take care of yourself during this highly emotional and uncertain time in your life. Michelle is a writer, coach, Certified Divorce Specialist (CDS®) and host of the Moms Moving On Podcast. As a divorced, co-parenting, and remarried mother, nothing makes Michelle happier than being able to guide other women as they move on through the divorce process, and helping them turn their divorce lemons into lemonade - just like she did. A native New Yorker, Michelle now resides in Miami with her husband, Spencer, and each of their daughters, Bella and Jolie. There is no right or wrong answer for getting through the holidays during or after divorce. Do what feels right. Lean into whatever it is you are feeling; whether it is good or bad. And remember, it's just a season and will be over before you know it. Show Highlights A simple reminder that Christmas and New Year's Day are just days on a calendar. (6:41) Identifying your definition of happiness. (8:33) How you can take the parts of a holiday that feel special to you and make new traditions. (11:58) The importance of creating space to make new traditions and to heal. (14:18) Once children have had to separate their parents in their minds, it can sometimes be really confusing to see them together. (16:45) It's not always best for kids for parents to do holidays together right after divorce. Michelle shares some of the things that are best, like not being made to bear the weight of your sadness. (17:55) Your job at this juncture is to take care of yourself and your children. Period. (20:19) Waking up alone on Christmas morning can be painful and hard. Michelle offers some suggestions for getting through those moments. (24:33) How to set boundaries about conversations about your divorce during holiday get-to-gethers. (33:45) Disparity in incomes: it's perfectly acceptable to teach children the value of money and what gifts you are able to afford. (37:48) Learn More About Michelle: Michelle Dempsey-Multack is a writer, coach, Certified Divorce Specialist (CDS®), and host of the Moms Moving On Podcast. As a divorced, co-parenting, and remarried mother, nothing makes Michelle happier than being able to guide other women as they move on through the divorce process, and helping them turn their divorce lemons into lemonade – just like she did. A native New Yorker, Michelle now resides in Miami with her husband, Spencer, and each of their daughters, Bella and Jolie. Resources & Links:Information and links can also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/surviving-the-holidays-with-michelle-dempsey-multack Private Coaching with Kate Anthony Michelle's website Michelle on Instagram Michelle on Facebook Mom's Moving On Podcast TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I've been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade. AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL OF MY DIVORCE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE IN ONE ONLINE PROGRAM. This program is 100% for you if… You're a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won't destroy your kids You're looking for answers and a roadmap You understand that divorce is a long game You're willing to put away your boxing gloves You want this to be a respectful and collaborative process in service of your kids You understand that divorce is, first and foremost, an emotional process and you're ready to 'go there' Are you ready to learn from one of the world's top divorce experts and set yourself on the path towards the best possible outcome? YEAH, Y'ARE!!!

Everyone is talking about the holiday season. Well, this week we are talking about peak dating season - which is coming up in ten days. Bela Gandhi re-joins me on the podcast to talk about what peak dating season means and how to maximize it. Plus, if you're feeling resistant or somewhat cynical about dating, like me, Bela shares some advice to help you (and me) work through those feelings. Bela Gandhi is a dating/relationship expert, founder of Smart Dating Academy, TEDx speaker, and a media personality who has been featured on most national/local media outlets including Good Morning America, Steve Harvey, the Today Show, Kelly Clarkson, Access, ABC, NBC, Fox, and more. Bela is often referred to as the Fairy Godmother of Dating. And she is! Every time I talk to Bela, I feel confident and am re-energized about dating. Join us for a fun and insightful conversation! Show Highlights Cynicism about dating and what "dateable" means to you. (6:47) What we think of and focus on will grow - if you think everyone is going to be awful, you will be drawn towards the partners who fulfill those prophecies. (9:10) How to maximize peak dating season. (10:29) Dating app communication: Bela shares when it's appropriate to drop the conversation! (15:53) You want to be with someone who likes you just a little bit more than you like them. (18:09) Why video dating can save you a lot of disappointment and a lot of time. (19:01) Some advice about using dating apps and online dating sites. Quick tip: "Pick one app and get started!" (21:28) Dating profile pictures do's and don'ts. (29:35) There is no substitute for time in the dating process. (43:44) Learn More About Bela: Bela Gandhi is a dating/relationship expert, founder of Smart Dating Academy, TEDx speaker, and a media personality who has been featured on most national/local media outlets including Good Morning America, Steve Harvey, the Today Show, Kelly Clarkson, Access, ABC, NBC, Fox, and more. After she graduated (with dual degrees in Finance and German from the University of Illinois in Urbana/Champaign), Gandhi worked in mergers and acquisitions for Arthur Andersen in Chicago for a year before joining her family's chemicals manufacturing company (CCC), where she divided her time between Chicago and Europe helping to expand the business. When the Gandhi family sold its business to Fortune 500 company Akzo Nobel, she was asked to remain its leader, and became Akzo Nobel Non-Stick Coating's Global Vice President of Housewares. But even as she quickly climbed the corporate ladder, Gandhi had a feeling that her career would one day be taking a sharp turn in a different direction – because she discovered her love of matchmaking and providing dating advice. She launched her Smart Dating Academy in 2009. Smart Dating Academy has quickly become one of the nation's top date coaching firms - and teaches busy, successful professionals to jump start their dating lives successfully. Smart Dating Academy is described by its clients "like going to Harvard Business School, but for dating and relationships." SDA's coaches become personal trainers for their clients' love lives – helping them to navigate the ever-changing world of online & in-person dating. The SDA coaching program is results-oriented and fun - which helps you to clarify who is right for you, stop old dating patterns, and use technology the RIGHT way. Clients become positive and enthusiastic about dating / relationships again and find love! Bela attends more weddings than she can count, and loves love. Resources & Links:Links and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/maximize-peak-dating-season-with-bela-gandhi/ Private Coaching with Kate Anthony Smart Dating Academy Bela on Instagram Bela on Facebook Bela on Twitter TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINK Proof. Protection. Peace of Mind. The Soberlink remote alcohol monitoring system consists of a portable breathalyzer with wireless technology for real-time results. With proven use as the leading choice in child custody cases since 2011, we are the only system that combines: Court-admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Trust the Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to support the best interests of the child in your Family Law cases.

Lindsey Ellison returns to the show this week. You know her as the author of MAGIC Words: How To Get What You Want From a Narcissist. She has a new book out called Blessons of a Breakup. In this episode, both Lindsey and I share some of our unique experiences with healing from trauma, codependency, or co-addictive relationships. We also explore love addiction and being love avoidant, including what it is, and how it manifests. For those of you new to Lindsey, she is a relationship coach and founder of Start Over Coaching, Inc. She helps people navigate their divorce or break-up and also helps people break free from narcissistic abuse. Our conversation was healing and beautiful for me; I hope it is for you as well. Show Highlights Lindsey shares a personal story of resurfaced codependency and the emotional triggers that manifested. (5:23) What Lindsey learned at The Meadows and how it informed her choice to break up with someone she truly loved due to their copendendent and co-addictive relationship. (11:00) Being unprepared for the pain of a breakup and in deep pain of grief. (14:32) Love addiction: what it is and how it shows up in relationships. (15:39) A love addict's greatest fear is abandonment and an underlying fear of intimacy. (18:03) Love addiction versus love avoidance. (18:38) Why Lindsey says the spiritual process matters to the healing of a broken heart. (32:11) "Our ego is the CEO of all things from the past. Our spirit is only right now." (41:38) Why Lindsey wrote her book Blessons of a Breakup. (42:44) Learn more about Lindsey: Lindsey Ellison is a relationship coach and founder of Start Over Coaching, Inc. She helps people navigate their divorce or break-up and also helps people break free from narcissistic abuse. Her newest book, MAGIC Words: How to Get What You Want from a Narcissist, offers a step-by-step formula on how to create a communication plan and provides a script of empowering "magic" words that can neutralize the power struggle. Resources & Links:Resources can also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/blessons-of-a-breakup-with-lindsey-ellison Private Coaching with Kate Anthony Lindsey's websiteLindsey on Facebook Lindsey on Twitter Lindsey on YouTube

Rhonda Noordyk joins me to discuss her customized strategy women can use for financial wellness before, during, and after divorce. Often not having experience around household finances during marriage leads women to financial injustice post-divorce. In this episode, Rhonda shares her passion for helping women achieve financial justice and financial wellness. Rhonda is the Founder and CEO of The Women's Financial Wellness Center, is the host of the podcast, Divorce Conversations for Women, a public speaker, and a CDFA-credentialed financial expert, who understands that divorce can be a complicated and painful journey. Join us for this empowering conversation. Show Highlights Why women need education about financial wellness. (7:04) Why Rhonda believes the divorce system is broken. (11:49) Women need to show up, ask questions, and be sure they are getting fair and equitable property and income. (13:32) The biggest financial challenge for women going through a divorce. (15:57) There is a difference between even and equitable. (17:50) A deep dive into creating a budget. It's not just about figuring out what you need for child support. (21:21) Negotiating and how the acronym ANOT (acknowledge, naturally, obviously, the ask) can help. (22:46) Women see a 41% decrease in their standard of living after divorce! (25:47) We, as women, must be willing to be uncomfortable and ask for what we need, and still be respectful and firm, all at the same time. When we learn how to do that, it is extremely powerful. (33:23) Financial abuse can continue after divorce. (40:58) Changing your mindset around money and how your budget can be empowering (and not restrictive). (45:09) Learn More About Rhonda Noordyk: Rhonda Noordyk, CDFA®, CDS™ | Founder & CEO - Understanding that divorce can be a complicated and painful journey, Rhonda Noordyk left the financial industry in 2014 to pursue her passion of helping women achieve financial justice in their divorce. She hoped to offer a different kind of divorce experience; one that led to empowering moments and living a happy and fulfilled life, post-divorce. Cue the Women's Financial Wellness Center! Designed to help women find a better way to maintain financial wellness throughout and after a woman's divorce, Rhonda uses her knowledge, passion, and experience to build leading-edge strategies that help her clients stay three steps ahead at all times. With the intention to create a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, their voices, and the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations, Rhonda works to change the narrative of her clients' divorce experiences. Instead of feeling overwhelmed and lost in the process, Rhonda works to develop strategies that help women move through and out of their marriage into a new life filled with endless possibility. With a vision to open Women's Financial Wellness Center branches throughout the country, Rhonda hopes to help even more women figure out what is best for themselves and their families. In April 2020, Rhonda and her team opened a second location in Madison, WI. They are currently in the process of opening five more locations to reach even more women and assist them in realizing their financial goals. Since starting the Women's Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda has successfully alleviated financial vulnerability for thousands of women. In addition to being the Founder & CEO of The Women's Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda hosts a podcast called Divorce Conversations for Women. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. To connect with Rhonda directly, email her at [email protected]. Resources & Links: Women's Financial Center website Women's Financial Center on Facebook Rhonda on Twitter Rhonda on LinkedIn Rhonda on Instagram TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I've been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade. AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL OF MY DIVORCE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE IN ONE ONLINE PROGRAM. This program is 100% for you if… You're a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won't destroy your kids You're looking for answers and a roadmap You understand that divorce is a long game You're willing to put away your boxing gloves You want this to be a respectful and collaborative process in service of your kids You understand that divorce is, first and foremost, an emotional process and you're ready to 'go there' Are you ready to learn from one of the world's top divorce experts and set yourself on the path towards the best possible outcome? YEAH, Y'ARE!!!

Tina Swithin returns to the show this week! You know her as the leader of One Moms Battle, whose mission is to raise awareness and educate family court professionals on post-separation abuse as it relates to co-parenting and the family court system. She is also a fierce advocate for survivors and change in the family court systems. In fact, through her work, she has been able to get the month of November to be declared Family Court Awareness Month in eight states to date. If you're eventually going to be entering the family court system, you must listen to this episode. It will help you to understand what the family court is designed to do, and enable you to prepare yourself to do battle within the court system—which is not designed to protect you. Join us for this incredible conversation about family court awareness. Show Highlights Family Court Awareness Month is an opportunity for survivors to raise awareness at a community level. (2:20) The family court system is abusive. (5:24) How we can come together to increase awareness. (7:43) The disconnect between family court and other judicial systems. There is no regulation or checks and balances. (11:09) Very few states have required trauma-informed or domestic violence training for family court judges. (14:54) We examine how judges become appointed family law judges. (17:05) Tina's family court system reform wish-list, including why we need judicial accountability and focus on prioritizing child safety. (21:00) Even with the reality of our present-day court system, children have a better chance of being healthy members of society if you are able to leave a toxic marriage. (35:07) What you can expect when advocating for yourself in the family court system. (43:24) Learn more about Tina Swithin Tina Swithin survived a "Category Five Divorce Hurricane" while acting as her own attorney in a high-conflict custody battle that turned her family's life upside down for over a decade. Known for her internationally recognized blog, "One Mom's Battle" and her book series, "Divorcing a Narcissist," Tina helps survivors to navigate the family court system against narcissists and other toxic individuals. In 2020, Tina launched two major projects: The High Conflict Divorce Coach Certification Program and a nationwide campaign, Family Court Awareness Month. The mission at Family Court Awareness Month is to raise awareness and shine a spotlight on one of the most important branches of our judicial system; the family court system. The very system that was established to govern family law cases and make decisions that are "in the best interest" of children, has some undeniable shortcomings that warrant conversations, solutions and ultimately, change. The mission at Family Court Awareness Month is fueled by the desire for a family court system that is trauma-informed and educated on domestic violence, coercive control and post separation abuse. To truly act in the best interest of children, our family court system needs to incorporate empirical data and research into their decisions and rulings. Resources & Links: Family Court Awareness One Mom's Battle Tina on Facebook Tina on Instagram Tina on LinkedIn TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you'll unlock the support, education, and deep transformational work you need to finally answer your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

This week I am talking all about healthy relationships with Dr. Akua K. Boateng. Dr. Akua answers the question, "What the hell does a healthy relationship look like?" We explore the mechanics of developing a healthy relationship with Self and also learn the steps to reconnecting with your intuitive guidance. Dr. Akua K. Boateng is a sought after mental health and relationship expert. With over 14 years experience in clinical practice and education, she specializes in an integrative approach to treating anxiety, trauma, relationship issues and other emotional concerns. She is the founder & CEO of Boateng Psychotherapy & Consultation, where she counsels individuals and couples as well as partners with organizations in the integration of emotionally aware practices and initiatives. In the media, Dr. Akua has contributed to media outlets such as CNN, The Washington Post, Huff Post, Black Enterprise, Refinery29, Philadelphia Inquirer, Slate Magazine, Harper's Bazaar, and others. Her genuine, empathic voice adds to the growing culture of mental health awareness. Show Highlights Reconnecting with your intuition and sense of self; also why you may have lost it in the first place. (8:15) You need time, safety, and a safe place to begin to lean towards repair and integration. (16:47) Why you can't heal within an abusive relationship. (17:53) What does a healthy relationship even look like? Interdependence. Consistency. It does not look like pain and harm. (22:56) The shift in cultural dialogue about mental health within the last five to ten years. (33:35) Is the trope, "you can't love another until you truly love yourself," true? (36:21) Everyone has a blind spot. A healthy partner helps you see your blind spot and approach it with the utmost kindness and compassion. (38:26) A therapist's job during couples therapy. (42:15) Sometimes the healthiest place you can be is not together. (45:21) Couples should not pursue therapy when active abuse is occurring. (48:17) Top conflicts that Dr. Akua sees in her couples work. (48:35) Learn More About Dr. Boateng: Dr. Akua K. Boateng, a native of California, is a licensed psychotherapist with an emphasis in individual and couples therapy. With over 13 years of experience in clinical practice and education, she specializes in an integrative approach to treating anxiety, depression, relationship issues, intergenerational trauma and several other emotional concerns. In 2015, after sharpening her expert approaches for clients with other facilities, Dr. Boateng opened a Philadelphia-based private practice and consultation firm, Boateng Psychotherapy & Consultation. She now works with clients to take ownership of their emotional health, become aware of unhealthy patterns and work toward a more authentic existence. Dr. Boateng is a sought after mental health expert and consultant, partnering with organizations to support the integration of emotionally aware practices and initiatives into their operations. Resources & Links: Should I Stay or Should I Go - Money Survey by Kate Anthony and Amanda Steinberg Www.Akuakboateng.comDr. Akua on Instagram Dr. Akua on Twitter Dr. Akua on Facebook TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINK Proof. Protection. Peace of Mind. The Soberlink remote alcohol monitoring system consists of a portable breathalyzer with wireless technology for real-time results. With proven use as the leading choice in child custody cases since 2011, we are the only system that combines: Court-admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Trust the Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to support the best interests of the child in your Family Law cases. JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

Betrayal can affect your entire life - work, health, and even your relationships. In a previous episode, I explored how to heal from betrayal in your relationship. This episode focuses on how to heal from betrayal within yourself. Joining me to discuss post betrayal syndrome and post betrayal transformation is Dr. Debi Silber. Dr. Debi Silber is the founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and is a holistic psychologist, health, mindset, and personal development expert, the author of Trust Again, and is a 2-time #1 International bestselling author of The Unshakable Woman and From Hardened to Healed: The Effortless Path to Release Resistance, Get Unstuck and Create a Life You Love. You've heard it before, "Time heals all wounds." But, Dr. Debi Silber has proof that this is not true. It doesn't matter if your betrayal happened decades ago, you can still experience Post Betrayal Syndrome today. However, if you are willing to do the work, you can move through all five stages of healing in order to get to post betrayal transformation and experience freedom on the other side. Show Highlights Betrayal is different from other life crises. (7:27) Post Betrayal Syndrome: a collection of symptoms that are very common in betrayal. (10:48) Why do we get stuck after we have been betrayed? (17:02) If you are going to fully heal from a betrayal, you will go through five predictable stages. Dr. Silber shares these five stages. (22:08) When you face it, feel it; you can heal it. (31:44) After the shattering of trust, it cannot be repaired. But it can be rebuilt. (37:34) The difference between resilience and transformation. (38:07) What to look for in a therapist for post-betrayal healing. (49:51) Learn More About Dr. Silber: Dr. Debi Silber is the founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and is a holistic psychologist, health, mindset, and personal development expert, the author of Trust Again, and is a 2-time #1 International bestselling author of The Unshakable Woman and From Hardened to Healed: The Effortless Path to Release Resistance, Get Unstuck and Create a Life You Love. Her recent Ph.D. study on how we experience betrayal made 3 groundbreaking discoveries that change how long it takes to heal. In addition to being on FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz Show, TEDx (twice), and more, she's an award-winning speaker and coach dedicated to helping people move past their betrayals as well as any other blocks preventing them from the health, work, relationships, confidence, and happiness they want most. Resources & Links: Should I Stay or Should I Go - Money Survey by Kate Anthony and Amanda Steinberg Dr. Debi Silber's websiteDr. Silber on Facebook Dr. Silber on Twitter Dr. Silber on LinkedinDr. Silber on InstagramDr. Silber on YoutubeAre you healed or hardened? Take the quiz TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I've been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade. AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL OF MY DIVORCE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE IN ONE ONLINE PROGRAM. This program is 100% for you if… You're a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won't destroy your kids You're looking for answers and a roadmap You understand that divorce is a long game You're willing to put away your boxing gloves You want this to be a respectful and collaborative process in service of your kids You understand that divorce is, first and foremost, an emotional process and you're ready to 'go there' Are you ready to learn from one of the world's top divorce experts and set yourself on the path towards the best possible outcome? YEAH, Y'ARE!!!

This week I am pulling the curtains back and giving a glimpse of what it takes to build a business, post-divorce. You'll hear the lessons I learned, the pivots I made (and re-made), as well as how I faced some of the hard truths of business building (d-e-b-t) and life. Plus, this episode is a celebration of the culmination of so many things: first and foremost, it celebrates you! The show has reached one million downloads and that's because you keep tuning in week after week, sharing episodes, and being part of The Divorce Survival Guide Community. There is a special announcement in this episode for you - so be sure to tune in. And, thank YOU! I am also celebrating how this podcast has helped me to build my audience and grow my business. It has transformed the landscape of divorce and has been one of the top resources that women and men turned to in their time of transition. Finally, I am celebrating how the podcast, and listeners like you, have given me the strength and courage to own my story and share it openly with you. This podcast has been and continues to be a place for reciprocal healing and support. This episode is my thank you to you for helping me get here. Psst...did you hear? This episode includes a contest announcement - yay! Here are the contest details: 5 winners will be randomly selected and the prizes are 1 private coaching session with Kate, 1 Should I Stay or Should I Go full scholarship, 1 Divorce Survival Program full scholarship, and 2 Ultimate Divorce Survival Guide winners. To enter, they will need to leave a review of the podcast on their podcast platform of choice (Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts), take a screenshot of their review, and email it into us at [email protected]. The deadline to enter is November 20, 2021 at midnight Pacific. Winners will be contacted via email. Resources & Links:For resources and links, also visit: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/one-million-downloads-my-gratitude-and-a-peek-behind-the-scenes Divorce Survival Program is here! Uncage Your Business by Rebecca Tracey

This is the last week of domestic violence awareness month, so I wanted to explore the topic of narcissistic trauma and recovery. Caroline Strawson helps us understand the complexities of narcissistic trauma and the healing journey that is necessary for those of us who have suffered from it. Caroline Strawson is a multi award winning narcissistic trauma informed therapist and coach and best selling author of Divorce Became My Superpower. She has completely transformed her life from being at rock bottom after her divorce to a narcissist; and now works on helping others process the trauma of narcissistic abuse for post traumatic growth. Show Highlights Caroline shares her story of divorce from a narcissist and her transformation. (7:45) The narcissist is the abuser. Trauma is what you hold in your body about the narcissist. (15:20) You can't change the abuse, but you can change your experience and what you say to yourself about the abuse. That's the key element to healing. (18:29) Caroline explains the traffic lights of tolerance analogy and how it ties to our normal nervous system response to trauma or abuse. (20:01) The root of codependency and narcissism is trauma. (27:56) How to support a friend or loved one as they heal from narcissistic trauma. (38:07) The three stages for healing from narcissistic trauma. (42:25) Why Caroline says you can't co-parent with a narcissist. Instead, she says choose parallel parenting. (44:41) Learn More About Caroline: Caroline Strawson is a multi award winning Trauma Informed therapist and coach, #1 best selling author and #1 iTunes rated podcast, The Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Podcast. She specialises in helping heal the trauma of narcissistic abuse at a deep nervous system level. She uses a unique integration of therapy and coaching including EMDR, Brainspotting, RTT, Breath work, Internal Family Systems and positive psychology. She was diagnosed with complex PTSD, depression, anxiety and self harm in 2011 and was in over $100,000 debt and had her home repossessed after a narcissistic marriage. She has now helped thousands of women globally with her Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme and her Narcissistic Trauma Unlocking Method™. She has appeared in national newspapers, magazines, television and BBC Radio to give hope to others and lift the guilt and shame associated with the trauma of narcissistic abuse. Resources & Links:For links and resources also visit: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/narcissistic-trauma-recovery-with-caroline-strawson The Divorce Survival Program is here. Learn more or purchase! Caroline's website The Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Podcast Caroline on Instagram Caroline on Facebook TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I've been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade. AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL OF MY DIVORCE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE IN ONE ONLINE PROGRAM. This program is 100% for you if… You're a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won't destroy your kids You're looking for answers and a roadmap You understand that divorce is a long game You're willing to put away your boxing gloves You want this to be a respectful and collaborative process in service of your kids You understand that divorce is, first and foremost, an emotional process and you're ready to 'go there' Are you ready to learn from one of the world's top divorce experts and set yourself on the path towards the best possible outcome? YEAH, Y'ARE!!! JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

Betrayal is a broken promise. And oftentimes when you are faced with the decision to stay or go, you are forced to decide if you can work through the betrayal or if it's better to walk away. Further, a betrayal leads to erosion of your sense of Self. So, how can you move forward—whether you remain with your partner or not—and come out the other side with your heart and sanity intact? This week I am joined by Gilza Fort Martinez to talk about what it takes to heal from a betrayal and how to recover your sense of Self in the aftermath. Healing will take effort and it will take willingness, but there is a way out. Gilza specializes in family therapy, women's transitions, as well as marital and premarital therapy. Her work focuses on helping women overcome the devastation of betrayal in order to restore their self-trust and help with the decision to re-engage in relationships. Listen to hear this informative and important conversation. Show Highlights Infidelity is not the only form of betrayal. At betrayal's core it's a broken promise. (3:42) Some red flags that signal that you should seek therapy with your partner or explore what may be going on. "If we pay attention a little sooner, we can intervene." (9:27) Losing your sense of Self in relationships: how it happens. (9:53) Why we gravitate toward toxic or mismatched relationships. (12:46) Gilza answers the million-dollar question: why do people cheat? (16:10) The difference between discovered infidelity versus a partner disclosing they have cheated. (22:33) How to determine if the betrayal you've felt is something you can work through or walk away from. (26:06) The essence of a sincere apology. Hint: it's about ownership. (30:18) The emotional hits your partner must be willing to absorb during the healing process. (32:59) How to recover your sense of Self after you've been betrayed. (50:55) Learn More About Gilza: Gilza Fort Martinez is a bilingual licensed marriage and family therapist in Florida with over 30 years of experience in conflict resolution, improving interpersonal relationships, and navigating life transitions. She specializes in family therapy, women's transitions, as well as marital and premarital therapy. Her work focuses on helping women overcome the devastation of Betrayal in order to restore their self-trust and help with the decision to re-engage in relationships. Her approach to helping you rediscover yourself is honest and solution-focused so that you can focus on living a fulfilled life in emotional wellness. Aside from her one-to-one work with clients, she has a woman-owned and run practice and has focused on collaborating and encouraging other women therapists to start and thrive in their own practice! She also has significant experience in public speaking and leading workshops for corporations and organizations about a wide range of topics including stress and conflict management, improving communication effectiveness, leadership, and more. Gilza has been featured in multiple media outlets including Self-Prevention, Greatist, Shondaland, Telemundo, Univision, People in Español, and others. Recently she has participated in several podcasts highlighting women, their challenges, and triumphs. Resources & Links:For show notes and resources, also visit: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/healing-from-betrayal-with-gilza-fort-martinez-lmft The Divorce Survival Program is here. Learn more or purchase! Gilza's website Gilza on Instagram JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

I am back with another solo episode this week. October is domestic violence awareness month, so, I wanted to take this opportunity to talk about a specific type of domestic violence: emotional abuse. Yes, emotional abuse is a form of domestic violence. Talking about emotional abuse is part of my healing, my personal journey, and my growth. So much of the work that we do in my Facebook group is around helping women identify emotional abuse and come to terms with the fact that that's what's happening to them. We have to talk about emotional abuse. We have to talk about it because the more we talk about it, the more we realize we are not alone. When women talk about abuse and relate to each other's stories, that's when we rise up and say, "Oh, hell no. No fucking more." Show Highlights Owning your victimhood is very important. It is one of the most powerful things you can do. (2:43) You are never going to agree with your abuser about the narrative. But you get to have your narrative and you get to own it. (8:39) Signs of emotional abuse seen during the traffic stop in the case of Gabby Petito and what the police could have done differently. (11:53) Gaslighting creates and distorts your perception of reality. (13:21) Emotional abuse can look very different from person to person and relationship to relationship. (20:44) Abuse has nothing to do with an abuser's feelings. It's about control and entitlement. (23:52) You are not crazy, trust your perceptions! (27:49) Resources & Links: For show notes and resources, also visit: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/shedding-light-on-emotional-abuse/ Divorce Survival Program is here! Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men, Lundy Bancroft

"Parenting is hard, divorce or not. Parenting is a big ask." When you mix parenting, divorce, changes in family structure, and a complete upheaval of everyday life - parenting becomes even harder. Michelle Kenney, a connective parenting coach, joins me to talk about how to parent your children before, during, and after divorce, with connection, peace, and empathy. Michelle is a divorced mom of two daughters, who are 12 and 15. She is a recovering yeller, control freak, and perfectionist turned connective parenting coach. She was so poignant and soothing during our time together. I can't wait for you to listen. "I gave up the relationship I share with my ex-husband to focus on the relationship I share with my girls. The relationship I share with my girls is better because I got divorced." Michelle Kenney. Show Highlights Was parenting always a big ask or did parenting change over time (compared to past generations)? (5:33) How to use connective parenting as opposed to punitive parenting, when your own life is destabilized by the divorce process. (7:39) "It's okay to make mistakes, it's not perfect, and we can strive to do better." And...as parents, we have an obligation to our children to apologize when we do get things wrong. (7:52) Connective parenting: what it means and what it looks like. (10:20) When your co-parent continues to punitively parent your child and you don't. "You need one, good connected caretaker to be a functioning human being, to do well, and to be well-adjusted." (12:15) How to talk to your children about your different parenting styles without badmouthing your co-parent. (14:30) The importance of empathizing with your child. Plus, why is it so hard to do? "We don't understand what empathy is because no one did it for us." (22:06) Adjusting to co-parenting and being without your child while they are with their co-parent. (23:36) Why punitive parenting is bad for children. (28:13) Michelle shares her experience as a former yeller and insight about what parents can do when they do yell or lose their shit. (32:30) Learn More About Michelle: Michelle lives in Los Angeles with her two girls 12 and 15. Before becoming a Hand in Hand certified instructor in 2015, she worked for 12 years in public schools as a teacher and counselor. None of which prepared her to be a mom. After years of consequences, bribes, and star charts she found Hand in Hand parenting, created by Patty Wipfler. It reshaped the relationship she shares with her daughters, and she credits it with changing her life. She is passionate about helping others find their way through the murky business of being a connected parent. She loves leading groups and finds the dynamic transformative. Michelle also strongly believes that listening partnerships are the cornerstone to moving through difficulties. Michelle has helped herself and others make meaningful connections, work on sibling rivalry, and alleviate school problems. Aggression, fears, withdrawal, and sleep issues are just some of the struggles she has shared and helped others rectify. She holds a Master's Degree in Education speaks fluent Spanish, has been trained as a Council in Schools Facilitator and is an ADL Trainer fighting against the bias of all types on school campuses. Resources & Links:For show notes and resources, also visit: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/connective-parenting-with-michelle-kenney/ The Divorce Survival Program is here. Learn more or purchase, here! Michelle's website Michelle on Instagram Michelle on Facebook JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

Divorce can be categorized as one of the most overwhelming and emotional breakups there is. Kendra Allen, the Breakup Bestie, joins me this week to offer her insight about how to break up with grace and dignity. I first learned of Kendra's work through Instagram. She truly has the best relationship breakup advice and often shares about the traps women fall into after a relationship ends. Kendra Allen is a coach, confidant, best friend, and support for women everywhere going through heartbreak. Her mission is to help women, like you, see breakups not as an end but as a beautiful opportunity to get to know yourself, love yourself, and rediscover what you want and deserve. Show Highlights Kendra shares about how she got into the breakup space and what led her to become the Breakup Bestie. (6:32) Kendra answers the million-dollar question, "How do you get over a breakup?" And the truth is, "You've got to feel the pain." (12:43) Active participation in a healing process heals your wounds. (15:40) Why Kendra believes you should go no contact with your ex in order to heal. (Exception: if you are in a co-parenting relationship, no contact won't necessarily be an option). (15:46) Get support and seek help when you need it: a breakup is a good time to work with a therapist, surround yourself with supportive friends, and practice self-care. (27:17) Yes, you should unfriend your ex on social media (and their relatives and friends of friends too). Kendra explains why. There's a lot to be said about cutting off contact in the short term to preserve the long term. (36:45) Getting back together. Is it ever a good idea? (42:23) Learn More About Kendra: Kendra Allen is your Break Up Bestie- a coach, confidant, best friend, and support for women everywhere going through heartbreak. After going through a series of unhealthy relationships and tough breakups in her 20's, Kendra dedicated herself to figuring out what it takes to go through a breakup with dignity, grace, and growth. Now it's Kendra's mission in life to help women like you see breakups not as an end but as a beautiful opportunity to get to know yourself, love yourself, and rediscover what you want and deserve in a relationship. Resources & Links:For show notes and resources, also visit: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/break-up-with-grace-and-dignity-with-kendra-allen-your-breakup-bestie/ COMING SOON: The Divorce Survival Program. Get on the waiting list! Heal Your Heartbreak Podcast Kendra on Instagram Kendra's website TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINK Proof. Protection. Peace of Mind. The Soberlink remote alcohol monitoring system consists of a portable breathalyzer with wireless technology for real-time results. With proven use as the leading choice in child custody cases since 2011, we are the only system that combines: Court-admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Trust the Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to support the best interests of the child in your Family Law cases. https://www.soberlink.com/family-law/

Laura Friedman Williams was a happily married, stay-at-home mom of three children. She had plans to grow old with her husband. Then she discovered her husband was having an affair and found herself single after 27-years. Faced with the choice to consider her life over or reinvent herself, she chose the latter. Today, she shares her explosive story of sex and dating after divorce. Laura is the author of Available: A Memoir of Sex & Dating After a Marriage Ends. In her book, and during our conversation, she shows that it is possible to be independent, a good mother, and have a great sex life all at the same time. Show Highlights Laura shares her story of her marriage ending - almost overnight. (10:49) When a marriage ends, "You think it's one thing and it never turns out to be that simple." (13:51) Laura was so focused on her children's healing, she came to a sudden realization that she could not continue to be who she was for her kids without taking care of herself. So, five months after her marriage ended, Laura decided to begin dating again. (22:05) Laura shares her first experience with sex for the first time after divorce, "I don't know how this is done. But I am going to make this happen." (25:27) Sex should not be a subject that is taboo or shameful. (39:22) What dating looks like for Laura three years after her divorce and why commitment is not something she desires. (45:33) Advice for women who are just getting back into sex and dating following divorce. (51:07) Learn More About Laura: LFW is the author of Available, which was a #1 bestseller in books on Divorce on Amazon, and has been featured in The Daily Mail. She has also written pieces for Vogue UK and Best Magazine in the UK. Resources & Links:For show notes and links, also visit: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/sex-and-dating-after-divorce-with-laura-friedman-williams/ COMING SOON: The Divorce Survival Program. Get on the waiting list! A Memoir of Sex and Dating After a Marriage Ends Laura on Twitter Laura on Instagram

This week I am talking about the importance of finding and utilizing the proper support tools as you go through the most transitional time in your life. The topic was inspired by my Facebook group, where I've been seeing a stream of really long posts. And what that says to me is that women are looking for ways to offload, mirror, and vent about the toxic and oftentimes abusive relationships they are in. But loves, if you are someone who is expressing your feelings in such a way—whether it's in a Facebook group or to a group of friends, you don't just need support, you need therapy (or a divorce coach or both). So in this episode, I offer gentle reminders about being present to your own experience, using the right tools for healing, surrounding yourself with those who aren't energy sucks, and being mindful of how you use your time. Show Highlights When you are in a crisis you need a team - the right team. Guarding your boundaries and being mindful of where you are placing your energy. Consciously lean into the relationships that feed your soul. Focus on yourself and your feelings as you go through this process of healing, transition, and change. How are you utilizing your time? Are you giving yourself time for rest? Resources & Links:For show notes and resources, also visit: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/finding-and-utilizing-the-right-support-tools/ The Ultimate Divorce Survival Guide Should I Stay or Should I Go? Facebook Group How to Choose a Good Therapist with Katie Thompson, LPC, CEDS

Joining me this week is Seth Nelson, family lawyer and host of the podcast, How to Split a Toaster. He is going to help us break down divorce law in the United States - because not only can it be overwhelming, it can be confusing, and frustrating. The good news is that there are some universal truths to divorce law that can help you maneuver through the court system and work with your lawyer with ease. After law school, Seth found that he could do the greatest good by helping people through one of the most difficult times of their lives - divorce. Being a divorcee himself, as well as a father, he understands what you're going through. I am thrilled to welcome him to the show. Show Highlights How to know when you should hire or consult with a lawyer for your divorce. (8:39) All of the items you should consider (and prepare) for your first legal consultation. (10:51) Seth takes us through his PEACE acronym: Parenting plan, Equitable distribution, Alimony analysis, Child support, and Everything else. (11:21) Some state laws require couples to be legally separated for one year before they can divorce. So, what does that actually mean? Seth explains. (20:36) The best way to communicate with your lawyer. (25:02) How to ensure you are receiving copies of all documents that get filed with the court system (and why you should have copies too). (32:38) How to know if you have a really shitty attorney. (34:13) Your primary legal goal: to have great representation, have someone help you through the process as economically feasible, and get a great outcome. (38:20) Learn More About Seth: Seth Nelson is a Tampa-based family lawyer known for devising creative solutions to difficult problems. "I have been through a divorce and have a young child. As difficult as the divorce process can be, especially when there are kids involved, things will get better," he said when asked about the divorce process. At Nelson Koster, the motto is "Helping good people through difficult times." This is Seth's aim in every case, though how he works to achieve it varies greatly with each family's unique situation. From an early age, he has always wanted to help people. After law school, he found that he could do the greatest good by helping people through one of the most difficult times of their lives. Being a divorcee himself, as well as a father, he understands what you're going through. Seth focuses on Florida divorce law, Florida family law, and Florida family law mediation. He earned his Juris Doctorate from the University of Florida's College of Law. After law school, he clerked for the Honorable John C. Godbold, Senior Circuit Judge for the United States Eleventh Circuit Court of Appeals. Returning home to Tampa, he then worked for other Florida law firms before establishing his own practice in South Tampa. Since 2008, he has been the sole shareholder of Nelson Koster. Seth is a registered mediator with the Florida Supreme Court Family Mediator Association and is currently a Member of the Executive Council for the Stann Givens Family Law Inns of Court. He also served as the Chair of the Family Law Section of the Hillsborough County Bar Association and continues to serve on its Executive Council. He has been given excellent ratings by Superlawyers and Avvo Ratings and has been honored to receive Super Lawyer's2012 Rising Star award and 2014, 2015 2016, 2017, and 2018 Super Lawyer awards. In How to Split a Toaster: A Divorce Podcast About Saving Your Relationships, Nelson and co-host Pete Wright take on the challenge of divorce with a central objective — saving your most important relationships with your family, your former spouse, and yourself. Resources & Links:For show notes and links, also visit: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/how-to-split-a-toaster-and-other-divorce-law-truths-with-seth-nelson How to Split a Toaster Podcast Kate's Interview on How to Split a Toaster Seth's Firm on Facebook Seth's Firm on Instagram Seth on Twitter Seth's Firm on LinkedIn Seth on LinkedIn Andrea on The Divorce Survival Guide Should I Stay or Should I Go (Kate's Program)

"Speaking your mind is an act of rebellion." This week, Andrea Owen joins me to talk about making some noise, taking up space, and how to be empowered in your life. Andrea Owen is a speaker, life coach, author, hellraiser, and a very close friend of mine. She's creating a global impact on women's empowerment with her books being translated into 18 languages and available in 22 countries. Our friendship has grown over the years and much of it has to do with our shared feminist ideologies and empowerment of women in this space. She's been an integral part of my development, the building of my business, and my fierce feminism. Andrea helps high-achieving women maximize unshakeable confidence and master resilience. Today, we discuss strategies and teachings from her third book, Make Some Noise: Speak Your Mind and Own Your Strength. Show Highlights What spawned the idea for her third book, which is a bold and unabashed guide to finding your voice, harnessing your true desires, and leading the life you really want. (4:36) What it means for women to make some noise, plus why the idea of shining too bright and taking up space is super uncomfortable. (7:34) Women shortchange themselves and undermine themselves quite often, much more often than men. (21:00) It's important to separate ourselves from patriarchal brainwashing. (26:20) Internalized misogyny and some of the ways it shows up in our lives. (27:17) A call to examine your relationship with power and money; if you had more, would it scare you? (33:49) Learn More About Andrea: Andrea Owen is an author, global speaker, and professional certified life coach who helps high-achieving women maximize unshakeable confidence, and master resilience. She has taught hundreds of thousands of women tools and strategies to be able to empower themselves to live their most kick-ass life through speaking, her books, coaching, and her wildly popular podcast with close to 3 million downloads. She is the proud author of How To Stop Feeling Like Shit: 14 Habits That Are Holding You Back From Happiness (Seal Press/Hachette Books) which has been translated into 18 languages and is available in 22 countries, as well as her inaugural book, 52 Ways to Live a Kick-Ass Life: BS Free Wisdom to Ignite Your Inner Badass and Live the Life You Deserve, (Adams Media/Simon & Schuster). Her latest book, Make Some Noise: Speak Your Mind and Own Your Strength is coming in August 2021, published by TarcherPerigee/Penguin Random-House. Andrea is a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (CPCC) from The Coaches Training Institute, a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) with the International Coaching Federation, a SHE RECOVERS® coach, as well as a Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator; a modality based on the research of Dr. Brené Brown. She holds a Bachelor of Science from California State University in Kinesiology with a specialty in Health Science. Andrea has been featured on The Huffington Post Live, xojane.com, NBC, and Entrepreneur.com. She has facilitated many workshops for girls hosted by Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty whose efforts inspire and empower women and girls to live confidently and change the world around them. In addition, Andrea has been sober for close to a decade and is active in the world of recovery. When she's not juggling her full coaching practice or writing books, Andrea is busy riding her Peloton bike, chasing her two school-aged children or making out with her husband, Jason. She is also a retired roller derby player having skated under the name "Veronica Vain". Learn more about Andrea at andreaowen.com and join the fun and wisdom at facebook.com/yourkickasslife and instagram.com/yourkickasslife. Resources & Links:Show notes and links also at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/make-some-noise-with-andrea-owen Andrea's websiteAndrea on Facebook Andrea on Twitter Andrea on Instagram Andrea on YouTube Andrea on Pinterest Should I Stay or Should I Go (Kate's Program)

When you are a caretaker on both sides of the coin - caring for your children, as well as, aging adults, and then throw in going through a divorce; things just can get really overwhelming. My guest, Laurie James, is a mother, caregiver, divorcée, turned author, and transformative coach. In this episode, we get to the heart of what it is like living in the space between holding on and letting go. Laurie's debut memoir, "Sandwiched: A Memoir of Holding on and Letting Go" captures her story of the eight-year period in her life when she suddenly found herself caring for her parents, managing unruly caregivers, raising four daughters, and trying to understand the choices of her husband she thought she knew. Show Highlights What it means to be a part of the sandwiched generation. (3:13) Laurie shares her story of divorce amidst being a caretaker for her parents and children. (5:23) When you're in therapy to "fix him," and find out, "Oh shit, I only have control over myself." (16:49) "It took time. Accepting my mom's state and that she was never going to be there for me again. It was also accepting my marriage for what it was. And then it was about learning the importance of self-care." (18:41) Advice for people going through major life obstacles or being stuck "in between." (27:36) Why leaving her marriage gave Laurie the freedom to write a book and do all of the things she is doing, today. (38:37) Learn More About Laurie: Laurie James is mother, caregiver, divorcée, turned author and transformative coach. She has successfully launched her four daughters into adulthood and has been the primary caretaker for her elderly parents. Laurie has learned through therapy and other healing programs that she has everything she needs within her to create the life she desires, and she wants to bring that knowledge to other women. She is training to become a Martha Beck certified coach and expect to receive her ICF (International Coach Federation) credential in July 2021. Laurie enjoys coaching women who are searching for happiness and helps them discover what that means to them. An active community volunteer, she cochairs a youth program for high school students, exposing them to a variety of career paths before they apply to college. She's an active member of a collaborative giving circle that pools donation dollars to help Los Angeles-based nonprofits. Laurie graduated from Cal Poly Pomona with a BS in business and held a position as a corporate recruiter before she stayed home to raise her children. She lives in Manhattan Beach with her adopted husky, Lu. When she is not walking her dog, volunteering, promoting her book or coaching, she can be found skiing, sailing, hiking, doing yoga, spending time with my girlfriends or planning her next adventure. Resources & Links: Show notes and links also available at: https://bit.ly/3yGdnKV Laurie James website Laurie on Facebook Laurie on Instagram Donate to the Thrive Fund Should I Stay or Should I Go (Kate's Program)

This week's podcast topic is trauma bonding and shame. My guest, Dr. Nadine Macaluso, has an incredible story to share. Nadine Macaluso is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice. Her personal and clinical expertise is in attachment trauma, shame, and relationships. Dr. Nae is also the ex-wife to the infamous Wolf of Wall Street, Jordan Belfort, with whom she shares two children. So yeah, she knows a thing or two about love-bombing and trauma bonds. While openly sharing her story, she also gets underneath how trauma bonding happens to the best of us. Show Highlights The relationship between attachment trauma and shame. (4:11) We're not responsible for what was done to us as vulnerable children, yet as adults, it is our responsibility to do what we can to begin to heal. (7:23) A clear and concise definition of a trauma bond. (8:25) Nadine shares her experience with love-bombing and trauma bonds with her famed ex-husband "Wolf of Wall Street," Jordan Belfort (9:44) The design of love bombing is to keep you completely off balance - it is a destabilization technique. (12:04) "My ex-husband took all of my beautiful qualities of loyalty, compassion, trustworthiness, belief in relationships, empathy, and used them against me." (18:13) Trust your inner voice. Don't drive past the red flags. (27:14) Healing from attachment trauma, and practicing self-compassion. (29:45) "For some reason, I had children with this man. I have to honor that. And take care of their souls first." (34:24) Honoring your truth and also acknowledging that your ex can still be a good co-parent. (37:23) Learn More About Dr. Nae: Nadine Macaluso is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice. She received her master's in Counseling Psychology and doctorate in Depth Psychology with an emphasis on Somatic Psychotherapy from Pacifica Graduate Institute in California. Her personal and clinical expertise is in attachment trauma, shame, and relationships. Dr. Nae is also the ex-wife to the infamous Wolf of Wall Street, Jordan Belfort, with whom she shares two beautiful children, Carter and Chandler. Nadine has been happily remarried for 20 years; she and her husband John share a blended family of five children and two dogs, splitting their time between New York and Florida. When she's not working with patients or writing about trauma, Nadine spends her time reading, researching, listening to podcasts, going for walks and connecting with her loved ones. Resources & Links:Show notes and links can also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/no-more-trauma-bonding-with-nadine-macaluso No More Trauma Bonding: A Therapist's Guide to Healing from Traumatic Love Dr. Nae on Facebook Dr. Nae on Instagram Dr. Nae on Twitter Dr. Nae on YouTube Women Who Love Psychopaths: Inside the Relationships of inevitable Harm With Psychopaths, Sociopaths & Narcissists, Sandra L. Brown Donate to the Thrive Fund Should I Stay or Should I Go (Kate's Program) TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINK Proof. Protection. Peace of Mind. The Soberlink remote alcohol monitoring system consists of a portable breathalyzer with wireless technology for real-time results. With proven use as the leading choice in child custody cases since 2011, we are the only system that combines: Court-admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Trust the Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to support the best interests of the child in your Family Law cases.

My guest, Tina Swithin, survived a "Category Five Divorce Hurricane," while acting as her own attorney in a high-conflict custody battle that turned her family's life upside down for over a decade. Tina is the author of Divorcing a Narcissist and the founder of One Mom's Battle. She continues to champion children's rights through her family court advocacy and works to raise awareness of the issues in the family court system and to educate the general public on post-separation abuse and narcissistic abuse. Show Highlights Tina shares her journey of becoming an "accidental" author and family court advocate - and how she came to grips with the fact that she couldn't fix her ex's narcissism, and would either need to accept this was her life or move on. "It took me almost six years to really see who my ex-husband was. I can't go into family court and expect that the judge is just going to see that this person is a problem...It's a marathon to get to the point where they do recognize who the problem person [is in the relationship]. " Family court is simply not equipped to deal with high-conflict divorce proceedings, plus some of the aspects that are broken. The aftermath of divorcing a narcissist: post-separation abuse. Learn More About Tina: Tina Swithin survived a "Category Five Divorce Hurricane" while acting as her own attorney in a high-conflict custody battle that turned her family's life upside down for over a decade. While divorces are never easy, Tina quickly learned that a divorce involving a narcissist takes the term, "high-conflict" to a level that few can comprehend. To articulate what was happening, she took shelter from the storm by chronicling her journey in her (now) internationally recognized blog, "One Mom's Battle." Tina's plight grew from just one mom to a village of tens of thousands who all share the same story. There were different variations and nuances, but the common denominator is toxic, high conflict individuals, and post-separation abuse. With all odds against her, Tina's battle came to an end on August 30, 2019, when she successfully terminated her ex-husband's parental rights. Tina has chosen to assume the title of survivor versus victim and has become an advocate for change in the Family Court System after seeing the flaws first-hand. Tina believes that the courts have lost sight of their primary focus, which should be the best interest of the child and instead, are too focused on parental rights. Tina believes that children are suffering unnecessarily due to the lack of education on the front lines—and behind the judicial bench. Tina Swithin is the author of Divorcing a Narcissist (series) and founder of the High Conflict Divorce Coach Certification Program. Tina Swithin has been awarded honors such as the "Top 20 Professionals Under 40" and the "Top 40 Professionals Under 40" in several regional California newspapers. Tina resides in San Luis Obispo, California with her husband and her two daughters. Resources & Links:Show notes and links can be also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/high-conflict-divorce-and-family-court-advocacy-with-tina-swithin/ Tina's website Tina on Facebook Tina on Instagram Donate to the Thrive Fund Should I Stay or Should I Go (Kate's Program)

Today we're talking about boundaries with my good friend, Amy E. Smith. If you have a history of constantly putting everybody first, giving in, or not speaking up when something is bothersome to you, then you, my love, need to set some boundaries. In this episode, Amy shares her three-step process for boundary setting, shares some thought-provoking lessons like, "You are not responsible for other people's reactions to your boundaries," and talks about how to stand up for yourself without being a dick. Amy is a certified and credentialed life coach and hypnotherapist, masterful speaker, and personal empowerment expert. Founder of TheJoyJunkie.com, Amy uses her roles as coach, writer, podcaster, and speaker to move individuals to a place of radical personal empowerment and self-worth. When you learn how to set boundaries and speak up for yourself you can even ask for a divorce with the utmost grace and kindness. Calmly and assertively. Yes, you have the freedom to choose a different approach. Show Highlights How to speak up for yourself! (2:48) Boundary remorse, plus we're told disproportionately, as women, "Don't rock the boat, sweep it under the rug." (7:18) Boundaries and speaking up for yourself don't involve an ultimatum. (13:30) If you want to be heard and understood, you have to deliver your request in a way in which people can hear you. (16:40) The biggest boundary anyone can ever set is to say, "I don't want to be married to you anymore." (17:40) You are responsible for your intention, not your reception. (18:14) Change your perspective on what equals success: Success is being proud of the woman you were when you delivered the boundary or information. (36:40) Not sure which boundaries you need to set? Create an inventory of the things you constantly complain about. (37:52) If you are afraid about hurting someone's feelings when having hard conversations, then share that fear and express your vulnerability. (41:55) Amy's three-step process to creating boundaries. (43:43) Learn More About Amy: Amy E. Smith is a certified and credentialed life coach and hypnotherapist, masterful speaker, and personal empowerment expert. Owner and founder of Joy Junkie Enterprises, Amy uses her roles as coach, writer, podcaster, and speaker to move individuals beyond limiting beliefs and sabotaging mindsets to a place of radical personal empowerment and self-worth. With acute focus on helping people "find their voice", Amy uses her popular weekly podcast, The Joy Junkie Show, to address issues of worthiness, self-confidence, and letting go of people-pleasing to assist listeners in creating and living radically joyful lives. Amy has been instrumental in aiding hundreds of women in stepping into their authentic power and crafting lives they desire. She is highly sought after for her uncommon style of irreverence, wisdom, and humor and has been a featured expert in Inspired Coach Magazine and on Fox 5 San Diego. Start stalking Amy at www.TheJoyJunkie.com and grab a free copy of her eWorkbook/Audiobook, Stand Up for Yourself Without Being a Dick: 9 Proven Challenges to Radically Improve Your Self-Confidence and Self-Worth. Resources & Links:Show notes and links also available at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/how-to-speak-up-for-yourself-with-amy-smith/ Amy's website The Joy Junkie Podcast Grab Amy's free workbook "How to Speak Up For Yourself Without Being a Dick" Amy on Instagram Amy on Twitter Amy on FacebookDonate to the Thrive Fund

This week I am talking with Meredith Shirey about the do's and don'ts of therapy - individual and couples therapy alike. Meredith is licensed in New York and Tennessee as a Marriage and Family Therapist is a Clinical Fellow member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy and the founder of Meredith Shirey Marriage and Family Therapy, PLLC. In this episode we explore the complexities of therapy including how to know if you should explore individual therapy versus couples therapy, how being disingenuous can sabotage your goals for therapy, codependency, and so much more. Show Highlights When to choose to go to individual therapy versus couples therapy. (6:46) Why you should have a consultation with a therapist you're interested in potentially working with and talk about your options. (7:06) When going to couples therapy, be sure your therapist is trained specifically in working with couples. (7:55) Do you feel like you're going to be able to be completely honest about what you need and how you're feeling in front of your partner and the therapist? If the answer is no, don't do couples therapy. (10:08) What to do when you are in therapy and know your partner is not being honest. (24:30) The stigma around codependency. (26:56) How to get to the point where you are ready to say, "I want to take back my power and create a strategy for myself that focuses on me instead of my partner's issues." (34:06) The do's and don'ts of couples therapy. (36:23) Learn More About Meredith: Meredith is a licensed psychotherapist specializing in relationally-based issues, and the founder of her NYC based private practice. She is a host of the podcast, "Love Me or Leave Me," and a Topic Expert for Goodtherapy.org. She has written for numerous platforms and has contributed to articles featured on The New York Times, Today.com, and NBC.com on guidelines for difficult conversations, communication tips for couples, and guidance for couples planning to cohabitate or marry. Meredith's approach to psychotherapy is an integrated approach that includes Attachment theory, Emotionally-Focused Therapy, with notes of Psychodynamic theory. She values a holistic approach and understanding how the past impacts what we experience in the present. Resources & Links:Visit: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/the-dos-and-donts-of-couples-therapy-with-meredith-shirey for clickable links Meredith's websiteMeredith on FacebookMeredith on InstagramMeredith's podcast, Love Me or Leave MeDonate to the Thrive Fund Should I Stay or Should I Go (Kate's Program)DSG Episode: How to Choose a Good Therapist

Rebecca Zung is one of the Top 1% of attorneys in the nation, author of bestselling books, including Negotiate Like You M.A.T.T.E.R, and host of the popular Negotiate Your Best Life. She is who many women turn to regarding all things narcissistic abuse and divorce. I am thrilled to welcome Rebecca as a guest to talk about how to negotiate a divorce with a narcissist. In this episode, Rebecca and I discuss many topics including the differences between overt and covert narcissists and strategies for negotiating and disarming a narcissist. Show Highlights Overt narcissists versus covert narcissists: An overt narcissist would be someone, like Donald Trump, who has no qualms about saying he's the greatest at everything. A covert narcissist is almost more insidious and dangerous because they know enough to hide it. (8:44) A narcissist will do whatever they can to keep their grip going. So you have to get out if you can, because it's the only way you'll have peace. (21:51) Rebecca reveals the biggest flaw that occurs when negotiating with a narcissist and what you should do, instead. (27:52) Why focusing on you, your case, your position, and your mindset, is so important. (34:11) Some strategies to disarm a narcissist. (35:50) The five key areas that most judges care about: property division, spousal support, custody, child support, and attorney fees. (48:08) Judges don't view narcissism as a problem in divorce so if you want them to care about it, you must put it in terms that will make them care. (49:11) Learn More About Rebecca: Rebecca Zung is one of the Top 1% of attorneys in the nation, having been recognized by U.S. News & World Report as a "Best Lawyer in America", as "Legal Elite" by Trend Magazine, and recognized by her peers and the judiciary as AV(c), preeminent rated in family law, the highest possible rating for an attorney by Martindale Hubbell. But her journey wasn't always easy. Married at 19 the first time, she had 3 children by the age of 23 and then was a divorced single mom when she decided to go back to law school. She went from being a single mom, college dropout, to becoming one the most powerful lawyers in the country at the helm of a multi-million dollar practice. She is now committed to sharing her secrets and empowering others to live their lives at their optimum level of success, professionally and personally. She is the author of the bestselling books, Negotiate Like You M.A.T.T.E.R.: The Sure Fire Method to Step Up and Win (foreword by Robert Shapiro) and Breaking Free: A Step-by-Step Divorce Guide for Achieving Emotional, Physical, and Spiritual Freedom, and is a sought after major media contributor. Her perspectives are in high demand by television and print outlets, as she has been featured in or on Extra, Forbes, Huffington Post, Newsweek, Time, Dr. Drew, NPR Talk Radio, Good Day New York and CBS Los Angeles among others. Now, Rebecca remains a partner in Long, Murphy & Zung, and is based in Los Angeles and Florida. She is continuing to serve through her incredible on-demand programs such as S.LA.Y. Your Negotiation With a Narcissist, and the Divorce Delete-Alt-Control Masterclasses. She is also the host of the popular show Negotiate Your Best Life™ which is available on YouTube and as a Top Podcast, and also is a frequent keynote speaker. Resources & Links: Show notes with links on the web at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/negotiating-with-a-narcissist-with-rebecca-zung Rebecca's websiteKate on Rebecca's podcastRebecca on Facebook Rebecca on Instagram Rebecca on Twitter Rebecca's Crush My Negotiation worksheet The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological AbuseS.L.A.Y. Your Negotiation with a Narcissist (affiliate link)Donate to the Thrive Fund

As co-parents, sometimes we just need a third-party element for communication, especially in a high-conflict situation. The co-parenting app space is growing day by day — and you already know I am a huge fan of these types of apps. So, when I learned about Bianca Balogh's app, Peaceful Parent Messenger, I was intrigued. It's a communication tool for all co-parents but especially those in high-conflict situations. Y'all, this app is a gamechanger. This week, Bianca joined me to talk about her inspiration for creating the app, her difficult co-parenting journey, and how it led her to create something positive from her struggle. She designed the app to give users the ability to set boundaries - that's right, it helps you set boundaries - as well as setting a waiting period between messages to create more harmony and calm for co-parents. Show Highlights How Bianca came up with the idea for Peaceful Parent Messenger. (4:40) Gives you the ability to place a limit on the number of messages you can receive within a given timeframe. (8:09) "You're setting boundaries that are protecting yourself. It's not a punishment to the other parent." (11:27) The better solution is you keep the lines of communication open but start limiting it so that you can be a happier person and a happier parent. (15:01) The biggest struggle for high conflict co-parents: communication. (18:35) Bianca offers ideas on how to get your co-parent to actually use the Peaceful Parent Messenger app. (21:57) "I just felt like there was nobody helping me. And I felt really angry about that. So I took all of that emotion, all of that energy; and I put it into this app to create something that would help me and other people." (28:41) Healthy communication should be at the forefront of co-parenting relationships, because in the end, we all want to be happy, but also for our children so that we can be good guides and be examples. (39:49) Setting boundaries is self-care. (41:54) Learn More About Bianca: Bianca Balogh is the mother of two children and the creator of Peaceful Parent Messenger, a co-parent communication tool for iPhone (and Android in the Fall of 2021). Bianca was inspired by her difficult co-parenting journey and decided to create Peaceful Parent Messenger to help co-parents with the ability to set communication boundaries. Having been on the receiving end of nasty, inappropriate co-parent communication, Bianca designed Peaceful Parent Messenger to give users the ability to set boundaries such as limiting the length of messages and setting a waiting period between messages to create more harmony and calm for co-parents. Bianca is a nurse and an entrepreneur who believes in creating the change you want to see in the world. Resources & Links: The Peaceful Parent App: http://www.peacefulparentapp.com Download the App - Available on Apple (and Android in the Fall 2021) https://apps.apple.com/us/app/peaceful-parent-messenger/id1498205091?itsct=apps_box&itscg=30200 Peaceful Parent App on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PeacefulParentapp/ Peaceful Parent App on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/peacefulparentmessenger/ JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/shouldistayorshouldigo/

Caroline Dooner has written one of my favorite books, The F*ck It Diet. This book is for chronic dieters who want to heal their relationship with food. Yes, hello! She joined me on the podcast this week to talk about her book, rejecting diet culture, and why, as a culture, we are so addicted to dieting. The majority of our culture is stuck in a brainwashing assumption that food is bad and dangerous. If you've been on a million diets, and feel out of control with food, this episode (and Caroline's book) is for you. Show Highlights What drives our obsession and addiction to dieting. (5:27) Why it's counterintuitive to our nature to restrict food and not trust our body's appetite and cravings. (10:30) Do diets actually work? Here's a hint: NO! (13:44) Restricting food is really bad for your mental health. (21:17) Weight stigma is outright unhealthy. (38:21) The patriarchal influence on women's bodies, diet culture, body image, and intuition. (40:50) Why it is unhelpful for us to have guilt and self-punishing beliefs about food and about eating. (53:14) Learn More About Caroline: Caroline is a writer, humorist, and the author of The F*ck It Diet, a book for chronic dieters who want to heal their relationship with food. She is currently writing her second book on toxic self-help and burnout. Resources & Links: Caroline's website: http://thefuckitdiet.com Caroline on Instagram: http://instagram.com/thefuckitdiet Read the beginning of The F*ck It Diet for free from thefuckitdiet.com/free: http://thefuckitdiet.com/free TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINKhttps://www.soberlink.com/family-law Proof. Protection. Peace of Mind. The Soberlink remote alcohol monitoring system consists of a portable breathalyzer with wireless technology for real-time results. With proven use as the leading choice in child custody cases since 2011, we are the only system that combines: Court-admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Trust the Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to support the best interests of the child in your Family Law cases. JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/shouldistayorshouldigo/

Jordan Shapiro joins me to talk about being a feminist dad. Jordan is an author, educator, and researcher. He's Senior Fellow for the Joan Ganz Cooney Center at Sesame Workshop, and Nonresident Fellow in the Center for Universal Education at the Brookings Institution. Finally, he is the author of Father-Figure: How to be a Feminist Dad. In this episode, we discuss gender essentialism and how men can begin to change habits, behaviors, and ideas in order to behave differently in the world. Seriously, Jordan is paving the way for what it means to be a man today. Ladies, all of the men in your life need his new book. And they need to listen to this episode, so share it with them too! Show Highlights Father Figure: How to Be a Feminist Dad: what it means to be a feminist dad, plus Jordan's response to his son when asked, "Dad, are you appropriating feminism by being a man and writing this book?" (5:25) The familiar assumptions about the origins of so-called traditional parenting roles. (10:33) "We live in a world where gender is being renegotiated." (17:59) Men should interrogate their behaviors and habits of mind so that they can make their own decisions about how to behave differently in the world. (19:46) We talk in-depth about male privilege, toxic masculinity, and the patriarchy. (22:32) From narcissistic patriarchal authority to responsive fathering. (30:32) The psychology of a father from an archetypal perspective. (37:30) Learn More About Jordan: Jordan Shapiro, PhD, is an author, educator, and researcher. He's Senior Fellow for the Joan Ganz Cooney Center at Sesame Workshop, and Nonresident Fellow in the Center for Universal Education at the Brookings Institution. He teaches in Temple University's Intellectual Heritage Program, and he wrote "The New Childhood: Raising Kids to Thrive in a Connected World" (Little Brown Spark, 2018), which received wide critical acclaim and has been published in 11 languages. His upcoming book, "Father-Figure: How to be a Feminist Dad" (Little Brown Spark, 2021) offers a norm-shattering perspective on fatherhood, family, and gender essentialism. Resources & Links: Jordan's book: Father Figure: How to Be a Feminist Dad: http://www.feministdadbook.com/ Jordan on Instagram: http://instagram.com/jordosh Jordan on Twitter: http://twitter.com/jordosh Jordan on Facebook: http://facebook.com/jordosh JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/shouldistayorshouldigo/

I am joined this week by Dr. Shyamala, Podcast Host, Media Expert for National T.V., and founder of The EQ Code, a coaching program for high-performing women who are ready to transform their relationships, so they can execute on their mission at a whole new level. Dr. Shyamala and I geeked out on emotional intelligence, communication styles, and the importance of focusing on the deep work needed in order to get the relationship transformation you desire. We also talk about how to show up with courage and integrity in your life. Show Highlights Dr. Shyamala helps high-performing women with relationship transformation - she describes her work and what attributes a high-performing woman has. (3:02) Reprogramming your brain and why it is important as a framework for change. (7:56) We know that children are incredibly resilient when it comes to separation and divorce - but what we need to really be aware of is when children are raised inside a home where there are toxic relationship templates being played out. (11:56) Most methods of change fail because most of them are behaviorally centered. (15:22) How to embody a level of transformation in order to live life fully and unapologetically. (21:47) Why toxic positivity is damaging, feeds on our insecurities, and also creates more of them. (26:13) How to Identify beliefs that have been plaguing you for a lifetime. (28:47) Most of us struggle in our relationships because we were never taught to be in one. (32:46) Communication skills become the bridge to relationship management. (36:48) You cannot have a boundary without assertive communication. (37:12) Showing up with courage and integrity in your relationships has nothing to do with the outcome. (45:07) When we are acting out of alignment with our values, integrity, and courage - we become resentment machines. (45:50) Learn More About Dr. Shyamala: Dr. Shyamala is a Clinically-trained Relationship Strategist and has spent the last two decades helping women improve the quality of their lives by transforming their relationships. Her mission is to help women show up as their best self, in every arena of their life. She is the founder of The EQ Code, a high-touch coaching program designed to help high-performing women transform their relationships, so they can execute on their mission at a whole new level. Shyamala is also the founder of the Kiru Psychotherapy Clinic, a mental health practice dedicated to the entire family system. She spent several years on the Board of Directors for the Ontario Association for Marriage & Family Therapy. As a speaker, Shyamala provides frequent talks and workshops on a local, national and international scale. Shyamala is a media expert, having appeared on a national television show for nearly a decade and makes guest appearances on CTV, CP24 as well as frequent pieces of print media. Resources & Links: Dr. Shyamala's website: https://andreaowen.krtra.com/t/R8OAmzFe6aCp Dr. Shyamala's on Instagram: http://instagram.com/dr.shyamalakiru Dr. Shyamala's Facebook Group - The EQ Club: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theeqlab Free 5-day Bootcamp opt-in: Free 5-day intensive: Unlock the Success Habits of High Powered Women: https://pages.shyamalakiru.com/free-event/ TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY:THE CENTER FOR DIVORCE EDUCATION https://divorce-education.com/ The Center for Divorce Education is an organization that provides separated parents with the tools and techniques necessary to navigate the difficult task of being a co-parent. They currently offer an online parenting class called Children in Between. Anyone who is co-parenting can benefit from the class. Visit the link above to learn more. JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/shouldistayorshouldigo/

Our society has conditioned us to think that money is gendered and that men are more competent when it comes to matters of money. Further, society tells us that women, because we're "nurturing or caretaking" are not strong enough to handle money. Amanda Steinberg joins me to turn that idea on its head, talk about women's financial empowerment, and share a roadmap so you can become financially free. Amanda's founded multiple businesses in finance, media, and politics. In 2009, she founded DailyWorth, a startup focused on women's financial independence and grew its audience and email list to 1.2M email subscribers. I believe you'll get a lot from our conversation. But if there is one thing you gain from this episode, I hope it's this: your thoughts and feelings of powerlessness about money are not your fault. As Amanda shares in this episode, "You were socially conditioned to think that you're bad with money. That is how everyone got to continuously take advantage of you for most of your life. And honestly, how you also got rewarded and praised for being a good girl. So don't beat yourself up." Phew. What a relief, right? Show Highlights What led Amanda to create a company that focuses on women's financial independence. (5:26) Amanda shares her own story around money, which started at the age of six. (6:43) We have collective money stories and then we have individual stories. (9:21) Amanda's thoughts on her vision for men and women during this time of change in which we are liberated from these preconceived notions of who we are supposed to be. (13:57) Busting the cultural myth that men are providers and women are caretakers. (15:00) Financial advice for women going through divorce. (16:56) Amanda created DailyWorth because she wanted to connect women's self-worth to their net worth. (18:29) A women's roadmap to financial independence. (39:17) Learn More About Amanda: Amanda's founded multiple businesses in finance, media, and politics. In 2009, she founded DailyWorth, a startup focused on women's financial independence and grew its audience and email list to 1.2M email subscribers. After DailyWorth was acquired, she moved into politics as the lead digital fundraiser for Marianne Williamson for President. Today she's the Cofounder of HigherU, a digital training company for social impact entrepreneurs. She lives in Philadelphia with her partner, 2 children, 2 stepchildren, and 2 large Maine Coon cats. Resources & Links: HigherU Amanda on Twitter Amanda on Facebook Amanda on Instagram JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP