The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

Zawn Villines returns to the show this week. Together we explore how men use the family court system to continue to abuse women. Zawn shares the harrowing story of Caroline Youseff Kassenoff, who experienced post-separation abuse in its most extreme form and who the family court system failed horribly. We discussed Kayden's Law, double standards around mental health and infidelity, and how to quietly quit your marriage if you simply can't leave. Zawn Villines is a feminist activist and writer who focuses on misogyny in motherhood and marriage. Her work argues that mothers are central to the feminist project and that fathers must participate equally in household and parenting labor. She believes that inequality in marriage is a primary driver of sexism and limits women's lives and futures. Featured topics include: DARVO and how it plays into coercive control and post-separation abuse within family courts (15:48) The double standard around mental health and infidelity between men and women (19:57( Why men must hear, "Being an extraordinary husband gets you an extraordinary wife. It gets you a better life." (31:40) "Marriage is a huge and dangerous gamble that is not worth undertaking for most women." (35:11) Quiet quitting: If you can't leave, how can you still make a meaningful life? (35:35) Kids know what is happening and eventually discover the truth - there often is justice down the line. (50:20) Learn more about Zawn Villines: Zawn Villines is a feminist activist and writer who focuses on misogyny in motherhood and marriage. Her work argues that mothers are central to the feminist project, and that fathers must participate equally in household and parenting labor. She believes that inequality in marriage is a primary driver of sexism, and that it limits women's lives and futures. Inequality at home is a form of abuse, and Zawn teaches women to push back on this unacceptable treatment and claim their rightful place in the family, at work, and in their communities. Her weekly Feminist Advice Friday series advises people about how to live better and more just lives and how to use their relationships as pathways to liberation and joy. Outside of her activism, Zawn has written full-time about science, medicine, politics, and the law for two decades. She writes a weekly reproductive justice column and runs a nonprofit childbirth justice organization. She hopes to see more mothers claim the power and dignity of motherhood and end notions of mothers as irrelevant. Mothers are raising the next generation of resistance. Resources & Links: Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-220-post-separation-abuse-and-the-failure-of-the-family-court-system-with-zawn-villines/ Zawn's website Zawn on Facebook Zawn on Instagram Subscribe to Zawn's newsletter!988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline'Do not let my demise be in vain,' Jess Taylor TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINK Proof. Protection. Peace of Mind. The Soberlink remote alcohol monitoring system comprises a portable breathalyzer with wireless technology for real-time results. With proven use as the leading choice in child custody cases since 2011, we are the only system that combines: Court admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Trust the Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to support the best interests of the child in your Family Law cases. DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

When it comes to divorce and our children, there are things that, as adults, we are not thinking about. Wouldn't it be great to understand a kid's perspective as we traverse divorce? This week, Grace Casper, a child of divorce, joins me to share insights and practical tools parents can use to guide children before, during, and after divorce. Grace became a child of divorce at age eight. Since then, she's wanted to help families through the divorce process. She is now 24 years old and runs Divorce Tips from Kids. She is also the host of the podcast, "Divorce: What I Wish My Parents Knew," and author of the upcoming book, "Dear Parents: Notes From a Child of Divorce." Featured topics and insights include: Parents set the tone for the home and the divorce. (5:58) Divorce tip! "Send a piece of yourself with your kid when they visit their other parent." (8:15) Allow your child to miss their other parent when they are with you. (12:11) Dismissing your child simply because of their age is a huge disservice to them. (22:47) Your kids get to decide what divorce means for them (like, it sucks, it's good, or even a coexisting of both good and bad). (32:29) Divorce tip! "Empower and coach your kids about how to speak to their other parent." (39:21) Reminder: Your child is not responsible for caring for your happiness. (44:45) Learn more about Grace Casper: Grace Casper became a child of divorce at age eight. By age 10, she had already written her first manuscript draft for her book. Ever since then, she's wanted to help families through the process of divorce. She is now 24 years old and runs Divorce Tips from Kids. This includes posting on social media, sending out emails to parents, and hosting her podcast, "Divorce: What I Wish My Parents Knew" (the first podcast created from the child's perspective). She is also the author of the upcoming book, "Dear Parents: Notes From a Child of Divorce," which comes out June 20th. She is a Baylor University alumni; however, her hometown in Colorado will forever have her heart. When Grace isn't creating content about divorce, she works as a full-time elementary school librarian. She lives in Waco, TX, with her tiny maltipoo, Teddy, and two best friends. Resources & Links: Information and links may also be found at: http://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-219-divorce-tips-from-kids-with-grace-casper/ Download The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Curated Podcast Playlist Private Coaching with KateGrace's websiteGrace on Instagram Grace on TikTok Grace on Facebook DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

This week we are talking about hoovering. If the term is new to you, hoovering is a tactic an ex-partner might use to suck you back into the relationship. When you try to leave a toxic relationship, it can be scary, unknown, and you may start second-guessing yourself. Dr. Heidi Brocke returns to help us understand what hoovering is and shares the signs so you can avoid being lured back into a toxic relationship. Dr. Heidi Brocke is the perfect person to talk about hoovering because she is a toxic relationship awareness and healing specialist. She has turned her past into her passion as she provides hope, healing, and freedom to those whose lives have been affected by toxic relationships, emotional abuse, and narcissistic behaviors. Featured topics and insights include: If you feel like shit all the time in your relationship, something is wrong. (8:00) The three things seen during the love-bombing stage and how that connects to hoovering. (9:19) As soon as an ex starts feeling insecure about the loss of the relationship, that is when the hoovering typically begins. (13:13) The tactics and signs of hoovering. (13:57) This has nothing to do with you or the relationship, it has everything to do with the fact your ex feels insecure and is looking to regain power and control. (30:19) Learn more about Dr. Heidi Brocke: As a Toxic Relationship Awareness & Healing Specialist, Dr. Heidi Brocke has turned her past into her passion as she provides hope, healing, and freedom to those whose lives have been affected by toxic relationships, emotional abuse, and narcissistic behaviors. After 24 years in healthcare, she has now moved on to use her life experience and her education to be the person she needed when she herself was trapped in the darkness of an unhealthy relationship. Through education, Dr. Heidi presents to her clients the understanding they need to empower themselves to walk through fear and into freedom. She has been featured in Forbes, Time Magazine, and Thrive Global for her dedication to her clients and her work in the toxic relationship area. Her podcast, "It's Not Normal It's Toxic," has reached clients and followers worldwide, now with over 1 million downloads. She plans to continue her mission to educate as many as possible on the effects of toxic relationships and emotional abuse. Resources & Links: Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-218-hoovering-how-your-toxic-ex-can-suck-you-back-in-with-dr-heidi-brocke/ Private Coaching with Kate Dr. Heidi Brocke's websiteIt's Not Normal, It's Toxic Podcast Become a member of the We're INNIT Together Community Dr. Heidi on Instagram Dr. Heidi on Facebook Episode 178: From Toxic to Free with Dr. Heidi Brocke TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINK Proof. Protection. Peace of Mind. The Soberlink remote alcohol monitoring system comprises a portable breathalyzer with wireless technology for real-time results. With proven use as the leading choice in child custody cases since 2011, we are the only system that combines: Court admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Trust the Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to support the best interests of the child in your Family Law cases. DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

Annette Oltmans, the founder of The M3ND Project, returns to the show to discuss Double Abuse®. Together, we explore what Double Abuse® is and how it can exacerbate the trauma a victim is already experiencing from their abuser. Double Abuse® happens when seeking help becomes a harmful encounter, where instead of supporting you, a person belittles your experience or disregards what you are telling them about your abuser. When you are in the middle of trauma, you need someone who will say, "I've got you," understands what you are going through, and can help advocate for you. We created this episode because it is important to: understand what Double Abuse® is, know what to do if you think it's happening to you, and learn how others can be safe people for you. Featured topics include: Understanding covert emotional abuse and its destruction (4:15) Double Abuse®: what it is and how it exacerbates a victim's trauma (15:48) Why it's important for victims to recognize when Double Abuse® is happening to them so they can gently exit the conversation and find a new circle of support (24:24) Some examples of Double Abuse® in the media (34:29) How to support and show up for a victim using the healing model of compassion (37:36) You cannot take care of yourself if you are being traumatized by Double Abuse® (52:08) Learn more about Annette Oltmans: Annette Oltmans is a philanthropist and passionate human rights advocate. Annette's personal experiences of prolonged emotional abuse in marriage and her extensive journey of recovery including comprehensive field research into the topics of Original Abuse and Double Abuse® ignited her passion to founding The M3ND Project in 2016. While seeking the help of professionals and responders, she experienced Double Abuse® in the form of spiritual and institutional abuse. These harmful encounters compelled Annette in her relentless pursuit for solutions that involved interviews with hundreds of victims and survivors. She uncovered common threads that cause victims prolonged states of confusion as well as what ultimately led them towards healing. Her journey also involved interviews with hundreds of faith-based leaders and therapists which led her to discover that most are untrained and ill-equipped to identify and help victims of emotional, verbal, and psychological abuse. In working to prevent and remediate such harm, Annette developed protocoled models that are now being taught and implemented with therapists, churches and professional organizations across the United States. She consulted with esteemed experts in abuse, trauma, and healing to ensure the materials align with the highest professional standards. Annette also serves on the Board of Pepperdine University's Boone Center for the Family and is a Board of Trustee member of Northrise University in Zambia. Her writing on these topics of abuse, domestic violence, and bullying has been published in the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC), Teen Vogue, and numerous other publications. Annette is also a contributing author in the newly released book, "Created to Thrive: Cultivating Abuse-Free Safe Communities." Resources & Links: Information and resources may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-217-understanding-double-abuse-with-annette-oltmans/ Private Coaching with Kate The M3nd Project WebsiteTools and Resources from The M3ND ProjectThe M3ND Project on FacebookThe M3ND Project on InstagramThe M3nd Project on YouTubeThe M3nd Project on TwitterAbuser. Narcissist. Sociopath. with Annette Oltmans Covert Emotional Abuse with Annette Oltmans ========= DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

Tracy Coenen returns to the show to talk about hidden money, secret spending, and how to win the money you deserve in your divorce. Tracy is a forensic accountant and has been investigating fraud for more than 25 years. She finds money in corporate fraud cases, high-net-worth divorces, and other financial shenanigans. In this episode, she shares information about the ways money can be hidden and how to assert your autonomy, take control, and reach a fair and deserved settlement. Featured topics include: Why it is important to be mindful of the language used around money and divorce. (4:16) Tracy talks about her new book, Find Me The Money!, and how it aims to empower women to win a fair divorce settlement. (7:39) How to know if your spouse is hiding money, and some ways money can be hidden (such as a secret credit card) (9:59) The five secret thieves of divorce: shame, betrayal, isolation, insecurity, and overwhelm (15:06) Innocent spouse relief: what it means and how it plays into the divorce process (26:20) How to reconcile winning the money you deserve versus the hurdles you'll need to jump to win it - is it worth it? (35:19) Learn more about Tracy Coenen: Tracy Coenen has been investigating fraud for more than 25 years, but she didn't always want to be a forensic accountant. With a dream of one day being a prison warden, Tracy went to Marquette University in Milwaukee, WI to get a criminology degree. A class on financial crime investigations reminded her how much she loved Encyclopedia Brown books as a kid. She continued her criminology degree, but added accounting and economics courses so she could sit for the CPA exam… and here Tracy is, finding money in cases of corporate fraud, high net worth divorce, and other financial shenanigans. Resources & Links: Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-216-find-me-the-money-with-tracy-coenen/ Join me TOMORROW, May 12th, for a special Split UP: The TEEN Years screening event! To secure your spot and get all the details, visit http://kateanthony.com/split. A Conversation about the film Split UP: The TEEN Years with Christina McGhee and Ellen Bruno Download The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Curated Podcast Playlist Tracy's website Tracy on InstagramTracy on TikTokEpisode 190: Becoming Your Own Forensic Accountant with Tracy Coenen DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

Gabrielle Hartley returns to the show to discuss the secret to getting along with others! Gabrielle is co-chair of the American Bar Association Mediation Committee, a divorce attorney, online mediator, founder of The Private Divorce Solution, and author of "Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate." Her new book, "The Secret to Getting Along and Why It's Easier Than You Think," is available for pre-order. Gabrielle says that when you learn the steps of getting along, there is nothing more satisfying than being in agreement. Listen to this episode to hear how meeting your deepest emotional needs will lead to resolving conflict. Featured topics include: The framework of Gabrielle's YES Method and how it encourages people to get along (12:50) Knowing when to shelve a conversation and take space (19:30) If you can understand what the other person really needs, you can settle almost any argument (24:47) Gabrielle explains what she means when she says, "Defensiveness is the enemy of resolution." (32:42) The VIR protocol: visualizing how you want things to be (36:14) Learn more about Gabrielle Hartley, Esq.: Gabrielle Hartley is co-chair of the American Bar Association Mediation Committee, a divorce attorney, online mediator, founder of The Private Divorce Solution, and author of "Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate." Her new book "The Secret to Getting Along and Why It's Easier Than You Think" will be released this May. She offers a weekly newsletter, The Conflict Code" and hosts The Better Apart Blog and is a frequently quoted media expert in the peaceful divorce realm (The New York Times, Vice, WNYC, Forbes, Psychology Today,etc.) Gabrielle is former court attorney to NYS Supreme Court Judge Jeffrey Sunshine. While writing her first book, Better Apart; The Radically Positive Way to Separate (HarperCollins2019) she realized that we all need to get along better in all facets of our lives. Gabrielle developed the YES Method based on more than 25 years working as a top divorce lawyer and mediator. The Secret to Getting Along was recently selected as a Next Big Idea Club must-read and her Tedx Talk on her strategy has been viewed over 62 thousand times. Resources & Links: Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-215-the-secret-to-getting-along-with-gabrielle-hartley-esq/ Join me for a special Split UP: The TEEN Years screening event on Friday, May 12th! To secure your spot and get all the details, visit http://kateanthony.com/split. A Conversation about the film Split UP: The TEEN Years with Christina McGhee and Ellen Bruno Gabrielle's website Gabrielle on Facebook Gabrielle on Instagram The Secret To Getting Along and Why It's Easier Than You Think The Secret To Getting Along is Easier Than You Think TEDx Talk TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: COZY EARTH Cozy Earth is the world's foremost source of high-quality, authentic bamboo viscose bed linens. Listeners can enjoy this exclusive offer from Cozy Earth today: Receive 35% off site-wide when you use the code "DSG" at CozyEarth.com! Thanks to our sponsor, Cozy Earth, and thank you, listeners, for supporting this show! DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

This week, Dr. Jeannette Lofas joins me to discuss why the step-family unit differs entirely from a traditional family. She explains why the science, rules, and roles of the step-family are uniquely distinct. Dr. Lofas also shares insights and advice about how to make the step-family structure work for your changing family, following divorce and remarriage. Jeannette Lofas, Ph.D., is a pioneering authority in stepfamily relationships, divorce, remarriage, and children. She is also the founder and president of the Stepfamily Foundation -- the first organization in the world devoted solely to the problems and challenges encountered in step relationships. Featured topics include: The step-family cannot and will not function as an intact family (12:03) Why identifying roles in the step-family system and defining rules is important (13:41) The role of the step-mother or step-parent (15:24) Dr. Lofas shares some of the rules of the step-family (22:19) The issue with the phrase "blended family" (28:07) Resources & Links: Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-214-navigating-step-family-relationships-with-dr-jeannette-lofas/ Join me for a special Split UP: The TEEN Years screening event on Friday, May 12th! To secure your spot and get all the details, visit http://kateanthony.com/split. Download The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Curated Podcast Playlist The Stepfamily FoundationDr. Lofas on InstagramDr. Lofas on LinkedIn A Conversation about the film, Split UP: The TEEN Years with Christina McGhee and Ellen Bruno Learn more about Dr. Jeannette Lofas: Dr. Jeannette Lofas (Ph.D., LCSW) is a therapist specializing in stepfamilies. Dr. Lofas herself is a divorcee, successfully remarried. (She is also a stepchild and a stepmother.) She has been helping stepfamilies for more than four decades and said there is not a question she hasn't answered. Dr. Lofas believes that the stepfamily does not and cannot function as a biological family. Author of four books, she has deep and specific knowledge of the science of the stepfamily system where the roles and rules are very different from traditional marriages. More an expert consultant than a traditional therapist, Lofas offers an approach which is actionable, practical and solution based to help you succeed in this different dynamic. She defines responsibilities and contributions for every member of the stepfamily and teaches communication skills, focusing on positivity, manners, visitation, the prior spouse, co-parenting and more. Dr. Lofas believes solutions come from education about how to manage stepfamily relationships – and she speaks to everyone in the family. Lofas is also a Certified Divorce and Co-Parenting Mediator. Lofas is former TV reporter/film critic for ABC, NBC and CBS. In her linked in profile she provides some background as to how she became a stepfamily expert: "When I remarried I found myself lost and in conflict within my own new family. I was amazed to find that my beloved husband sided with his four girls rather than me. Before we got marred his girls and I were best of pals. I was devastated. My husband and I began fighting over his not taking my side, discipline, putting his children before me, and my 10-year-old son. Dismayed I contacted every therapist in the state and then began to call all over the US. There was no one there. Having come out of TV on air broadcast news and being an experienced interviewer I turned to looking for and talking to others in similar situations. From that information I created my first book. LIVING IN STEP: A Remarriage Manual. As a result people started asking me for advice. I decided to make a career transition and to counsel people who had remarried with children. My reputation as a writer and counselor spread so that I was invited as a guest on such TV programs as Oprah, Montel Williams, The Today show, CBS Morning News and Fox. I have also been interviewed by periodicals such as the NY Times, The Ladies Home Journal (Woman of the Month) and Vogue to name a few. I live in constant gratitude and delight watching my client families grow from chaos and conflict to laughter and love." Dr. Lofas is the recipient of a 1995 presidential award for her 'outstanding efforts in strengthening step relationships across America' and is president of the Stepfamily Foundation https://www.stepfamily.org/, a not-for-profit that she founded in 1976. She is the author of Living In Step, with Ruth Roosevelt, McGraw-Hill, 1976; He's OK, She's OK: Honoring the Differences Between Men & Women, Tzedakah, 1995; Family Rules, Kensington Books, 1998; and Stepparenting, 3rd Edition May 2004, Citadel Books, one of the largest selling books of its kind. Dr. Lofas counsels clients from around the world. DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CO

How will your choices about divorce affect your children now and in the future? The creator of the films Split and Split UP: The TEEN Years, Ellen Bruno, says, "The connection between how parents frame the changing family, separation, and divorce profoundly impacts kids." Split UP: The TEEN Years documents the experiences of teenagers with divorce. Christina McGhee and Ellen Bruno join me in this episode to discuss this new film and share their insights and takeaways for parents and children. Split UP: The TEEN Years is comforting, poignant, and deep. The children in these films are the best teachers. They provide the opportunity to see how families experience divorce and its impact on children. Featured topics include: The impetus for creating the films Split and Split UP: The TEEN Years (6:27) How the movie gives parents an unfiltered look into how this experience feels for children (10:58) The choices you make in your divorce now impact children for the rest of their lives (11:45) The greatest gift we can give our children is to rise up, take the high road, and keep them at the center of the divorce (14:37) When the family begins to change, it is important to remind kids that "They are wanted, they are loved, and this is not their fault." (33:34) Join us for a special Split UP: The TEEN Years screening event on Friday, May 12th! To secure your spot and get all the details, visit http://kateanthony.com/split. Learn more about Christina McGhee and Ellen Bruno: Christina McGhee, MSW, is an internationally recognized divorce parenting expert, speaker, and author of the critically acclaimed book PARENTING APART: How separated and divorced parents can raise happy and secure kids and the founder of divorceandchildren.com. Ellen Bruno is an award-winning documentary filmmaker based in San Francisco. With a background in international relief work, Ellen's films have focused on issues at the forefront of human rights. Resources & Links: Download The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Curated Podcast Playlist Should I Stay or Should I Go Program - Special Offer! Get $50 off the program, plus a ticket to Split UP: The TEEN Years screening event! Offer available until April 24th. Visit kateanthony.com/kids for details. TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: COZY EARTH Cozy Earth is the world's foremost source of high-quality, authentic bamboo viscose bed linens. Listeners can enjoy this exclusive offer from Cozy Earth today: Receive 35% off site-wide when you use the code "DSG" at CozyEarth.com! Thanks to our sponsor, Cozy Earth, and thank you, listeners, for supporting this show! DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

Solo Episode alert!! After over a decade of working with thousands of women, I've become really good at mapping out the entire divorce process and pinpointing where on that map someone might land. I've become so good at it that I actually created something I'm calling The Divorce Roadmap. In this episode, I share the three stages of the Roadmap: Awareness, Action, and Moving On, and explore the various phases within each stage. Divorce journeys are almost never linear, they ebb and flow and have hard times and times when things fall neatly into place. Knowing where you are on your journey can help you prepare for what's to come. If, after listening to this episode, you have found yourself somewhere along the map described, I have resources for every phase and every stage. Download your free Divorce Roadmap today! Resources & Links:Information and resources may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-212-your-divorce-roadmap-the-stages-and-phases-of-divorce Download The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Curated Podcast PlaylistThe Divorce Roadmap Grit & Grace Coaching ProgramHow to Not Fuck Up Your Kids Guide Should I Stay or Should I Go? TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINK Proof. Protection. Peace of Mind. The Soberlink remote alcohol monitoring system consists of a portable breathalyzer with wireless technology for real-time results. With proven use as the leading choice in child custody cases since 2011, we are the only system that combines: Court admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Trust the Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to support the best interests of the hild in your Family Law cases. DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

"Mom, did Dad cheat on you?" If and when your child comes to you with questions about why you and your ex are divorcing, do you know how you plan to respond? This week, Christina McGhee joins me to talk about how to walk the line between not gaslighting your children versus not throwing a co-parent under the bus or telling children truths that might be too hard for them to hear. In this episode, you'll hear practical strategies for maneuvering this complex situation. This is an important episode for any parent going through a divorce or experiencing hardships in their relationship. As you listen, please remember to allow yourself grace as you walk this difficult journey with your kids. Featured topics include: How to communicate with kids about the 'whys' around the ending of your marriage (4:55) A reminder that you do not need to give a full accounting of your marital issues (13:20) Meet your kids where they're at, and focus on their feelings. (14:08) You don't need all of the answers in order to have a conversation with your children. (20:58) Think before you speak and consider: Do you need to share certain information because your child should hear it or because you feel the need to tell it? (23:02) How to respond when your child says their co-parent is not emotionally available to have a conversation or listen to them, and how to help your kids learn to cope. (25:28) Learn more about Christina McGhee: Christina McGhee, MSW is an internationally recognized divorce parenting expert, speaker, and author. While splitting up is undeniably hard, Christina believes divorce doesn't have to equal devastation for families. She feels with the right kind of information and support, parents have the ability to be a child's absolute best resource when families change. Throughout her career, she has educated both parents and professionals on how to minimize the impact of divorce on children. In her book, PARENTING APART: How separated and divorced parents can raise happy and secure kids, Christina offers parents useful strategies for dealing with the "real-life" everyday challenges of coparenting. One of her core beliefs is that divorce doesn't make you a bad parent, it makes you a parent going through a bad time. Because she is passionate about helping parents get through that bad time, Christina also maintains an active coaching practice that allows her to work with Moms and Dads all over the world. Most recently, Christina launched an online program, Coparenting with Purpose. Designed to provide moms and dads with an easy, convenient way to access critical information, it's filled with practical tools and solutions for managing the most common coparenting problems. Additionally, she has contributed to several other media projects as a featured expert, a content consultant, and a writer/producer. Currently, she serves as a consulting producer and subject matter expert for the documentaries SPLIT: A film for kids and their parents and Split UP: The Teen Years, two compelling films that let kids know they're not alone and normalize the many feelings and experiences children and teens encounter when parents part. Over the years, she has been featured on television, radio, podcasts, and in print around the US and abroad. A few places you may have seen her are TODAY Parents, the BBC, The Times, and Parents Magazine. Married for over twenty-seven years, Christina and her husband live outside of Houston, Texas. As a mom of four (two bonus and two bio) children, she has acquired extensive on-the-job training as a chauffeur, negotiator, short-order cook, scheduler extraordinaire, and finder of all things lost. To find out more, check her out at divorceandchildren.com Resources & Links:Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-211-talking-honestly-with-your-kids-about-their-other-parent Our monthly live Q+A, Coffee Klatch with Kate, is happening next Tuesday, April 11, at 9:30 am Pacific / 12:30 pm Eastern. Register here!Grit & Grace Coaching ProgramPrivate Coaching with Kate Christina's websiteParenting Apart, Christina McGhee Christina on Facebook Christina on Instagram Christina on LinkedIn Episode 209: Sex Addiction, Cheating, and Betrayal with Dr. Rob Dr. Cocchiola's Protective Parenting Program Thank you to our Sponsor: Cozy EarthCozy Earth is the world's foremost source of high-quality, authentic bamboo viscose bed linens. Listeners can enjoy this exclusive offer from Cozy Earth today: Receive 35% off site-wide when you use the code "DSG" at CozyEarth.com! Thanks to our sponsor, Cozy Earth, and thank you, listeners, for supporting this show! ========= DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

Rebecca Zung returns to the show to share her expertise on narcissism and negotiation. Rebecca is a Narcissism Negotiation Expert, founder of the SLAY negotiation method, popular YouTuber, and one of the Top 1% of attorneys in the nation. In this episode, Rebecca sheds light on what it's like to have a partner who is a narcissist and what happens when you want to get out of the relationship. She also shares valuable advice on dealing with a narcissistic ex who launches a smear campaign about you, describes her SLAY negotiation method, and debunks some myths. This episode contains insightful advice and value for anyone looking to break free from a narcissistic partner or ex-partner. Featured topics include: What it's like to have a partner who is a narcissist, and what happens when you want to get out of the relationship (3:36) When your narcissist ex launches a smear campaign about you: never defend, explain, justify, or overshare (11:09) Rebecca busts some myths about narcissists, including "narcissists just want to win." (24:40) How to slay your negotiations with a narcissist (27:43) Certain things are negotiable, and certain things are not: what is not negotiable is your self-respect and your value as a human (38:21) Learn more about Rebecca Zung: Rebecca Zung is a Narcissism Negotiation Expert, founder of the SLAY negotiation method, popular YouTuber (more than 20 MILLION VIEWS in less than 2 years), and one of the Top 1% of attorneys in the nation, having been recognized by U.S. News & World Report as a "Best Lawyer in America", as "Legal Elite" by Trend Magazine, and recognized by her peers and the judiciary as AV preeminent rated in family law, the highest possible rating for an attorney by Martindale Hubbell. She is the author of TWO bestselling books, Negotiate Like You M.A.T.T.E.R.: The Sure Fire Method to Step Up and Win (foreword by Robert Shapiro) and Breaking Free: A Step-by-Step Divorce Guide for Achieving Emotional, Physical, and Spiritual Freedom, and is a sought after major media contributor. Her perspectives are in high demand by television and print outlets, as she has been featured in or on Extra, Forbes, Huffington Post, Newsweek, Time, Dr. Drew, NPR Talk Radio, Good Day New York, and CBS Los Angeles among others. Now, she is continuing to serve through her very popular YouTube channel, media appearances, podcast, articles, and on-demand programs such as S.L.A.Y. Your Negotiation™ with a Narcissist, SLAY the Narcissist in Family Court, and Breaking Free™ Divorce Masterclasses. Resources & Links: Links and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-210-slay-your-negotiations-with-a-narcissist-with-rebecca-zung/ Register to join Kate on the 2nd Tuesday of Every Month for a Live Q&A SessionGrit & Grace Coaching Program Rebecca's websitePre-order Rebecca's upcoming book, Slay the BullyRebecca's Free Crush My Negotiation WorksheetRebecca on FacebookRebecca on YoutubeRebecca on InstagramRebecca on LinkedinRebecca on TiktokRebecca on Twitter TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage…once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you'll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

Is it sex addiction, or is he just a cheater? Does the distinction even matter? That is just one of the topics I discuss in this episode with my guest, Robert Weiss, Ph.D., LCSW (Dr. Rob). Dr. Rob is the Chief Clinical Officer of Seeking Integrity LLC, which provides online education and residential treatment for sex, porn, and substance/sex-addicted men and their families. During our conversation, we delve into the differences between sex addiction and love addiction and discuss whether sex addiction is just a fancy name for cheating. We also explore coping with betrayal and how to move forward and restore trust as a couple. This episode provides a deep and informative conversation about sex addiction and cheating and provides insights for listeners who may be struggling with these issues in their own relationships. Featured topics include: The difference between sex addiction and love addiction (5:18) Is sex addiction just a fancy name for cheating? (15:09) Coping with betrayal: understanding betrayal trauma and ambivalent love (22:44) How to move forward and restore trust as a couple after betrayal (30:20) "There is nothing you have ever done that caused this to happen." (38:42) Dr. Rob sounds off about codependence vs. prodependence (39:05) The impact on children when a parent cheats or is a sex addict, plus what to say or not to say to a child about their cheating/addicted parent (51:50) Learn more about Dr. Rob: Robert Weiss, Ph.D., LCSW is Chief Clinical Officer of Seeking Integrity LLC, with clinical programs that provide online education and residential treatment for sex, porn, and substance/sex-addicted men and their families. A psychotherapist and addiction specialist, he has created six intimacy and addiction treatment programs in the US, Southeast Asia, and the US military. Dr. Weiss is an online host for Digital Addiction on A&E. He has served as a subject-matter expert for numerous major media outlets, including CNN, NPR, and The New York Times, among others. He is the author of eleven books, including Prodependence, Sex Addiction 101, and Out of the Doghouse. His Psychology Today blog, "Love and Sex in the Digital Age," has over 21 million reads, while his podcast, "Sex, Love, & Addiction," has over 1.1 million downloads. Resources & Links: Links and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-209-sex-addiction-cheating-and-betrayal-with-dr-rob/ Register to join Kate on the 2nd Tuesday of Every Month for a Live Q&A SessionGrit & Grace Coaching ProgramPrivate Coaching with Kate Dr. Rob's website Dr. Rob on YouTube Dr. Rob on Twitter Dr. Rob on Facebook Dr. Rob on LinkedIn Sex, Love, and Addiction podcast A Light In the Dark (book) TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage…once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you'll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

65-75% of women say they would get divorced if they could, but the fear of post-separation abuse and the court system often prevent them from leaving unequal relationships. And quite frankly, women are fed up, and we have every right to be. Zawn Villines, a feminist activist and writer, joins me for a conversation about misogyny in motherhood and marriage; and how to start advocating for yourself and the women around you. Through her work, Zawn argues that mothers are central to the feminist project and that fathers must participate equally in household and parenting labor. She believes that inequality in marriage is a primary driver of sexism and limits women's lives and futures. In this episode, Zawn and I talk about the division of labor in a marriage, how to communicate openly about creating a shared partnership early on in your relationship, and what to do if you are in a marriage where your partner isn't participating in parenting and other responsibilities equally. I am such a fan of Zawn's work, and in fact, I share it all the time. I am thrilled to have her on the show! Featured topics include: Zawn describes her background as a feminist and how she came to focus on issues of inequality in marriage and motherhood (1:42) If you are going to be in a long-term relationship with someone, it should be passionate, romantic, full of love, and also a real partnership (5:02) Zawn describes her viral Facebook post about men not contributing enough in heterosexual relationships and the response she received from it (10:17) Why it is imperative we create parenting standards that apply to both parents (25:37) A bad husband who abuses his partner is not a good dad, plain and simple (26:33) Productive conversations about household labor involve acknowledging it is work and stepping up when necessary (37:28) Marriage shouldn't feel exhausting from putting in too much work; it should be a happy, fulfilling partnership (43:43) Learn more about Zawn Villines: Zawn Villines is a feminist activist and writer who focuses on misogyny in motherhood and marriage. Her work argues that mothers are central to the feminist project, and that fathers must participate equally in household and parenting labor. She believes that inequality in marriage is a primary driver of sexism, and that it limits women's lives and futures. Inequality at home is a form of abuse, and Zawn teaches women to push back on this unacceptable treatment and claim their rightful place in the family, at work, and in their communities. Her weekly Feminist Advice Friday series advises people about how to live better and more just lives and how to use their relationships as pathways to liberation and joy. Outside of her activism, Zawn has written full-time about science, medicine, politics, and the law for two decades. She writes a weekly reproductive justice column and runs a nonprofit childbirth justice organization. She hopes to see more mothers claim the power and dignity of motherhood and end notions of mothers as irrelevant. Mothers are raising the next generation of resistance. Resources & Links: Links and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-208-misogyny-in-motherhood-and-marriage-with-zawn-villines/Register to join Kate on the 2nd Tuesday of Every Month for a Live Q&A Session Retreat with Kate Grit & Grace Coaching Program Subscribe to Zawn's newsletter! Zawn on Facebook Zawn on Instagram TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you'll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

Attorney, CDFA, and author Patrick Kilbane joins me to discuss what you need to consider when selecting a divorce attorney. In this episode, we cover some criteria for choosing an attorney, questions to ask during your initial consultation, and what you need to know about your money as you move through divorce. Patrick is Partner, the General Counsel, and a Wealth Advisor for Ullmann Wealth Partners, headquartered in Jacksonville Beach, FL. Ullmann Wealth Partners is an independent wealth management firm that manages nearly a billion dollars of client assets. Pat has earned the Certified Divorce Financial Analyst designation and has testified as an expert witness in divorce cases over the last ten years. He's also the author of Move Forward Confidently, a Woman's Guide to Navigating the High Net Worth Divorce. Featured topics include: The criteria for selecting an attorney that is right for you (3:06) Some questions to ask during the initial consultation (10:51) The two most important aspects of your divorce case (25:05) What you need to know about your money before going into a divorce(30:43) Learn more about Patrick Kilbane: Patrick Kilbane is a Partner, the General Counsel, and a Wealth Advisor for Ullmann Wealth Partners, headquartered in Jacksonville Beach, FL. Ullmann Wealth Partners is an independent wealth management firm that manages nearly a billion dollars of client assets in custody at Fidelity. Before joining Ullmann Wealth Partners, Pat was a Shareholder at Gray Robinson, P.A., where he had a thriving specialty litigation practice (mainly high net-worth divorce cases). Pat was recognized multiple times by Florida Trend and Super Lawyers Magazine for his skills and professionalism. Pat has earned the Certified Divorce Financial Analyst designation and has testified as an expert witness in divorce cases over the last 10 years. Pat serves the Northeast Florida Region in several roles. He's received five gubernatorial appointments to the Judicial Nominating Commission for Florida's Fourth Judicial Circuit and the Jacksonville Aviation Authority Board of Directors. His fellow board members elected him Chairman of both boards. Further, Pat is the President of the Jacksonville Lawyers Chapter of the Federalist Society. In 2014-2015, Pat was elected President of the Young Lawyers Section of the Jacksonville Bar Association. In 2005, Pat received his Juris Doctor degree from the University of Notre Dame. He received his Bachelor of Business Administration degree, summa cum laude, from Adrian College, where he earned the full-ride, merit-based Dawson Scholarship and was named the Outstanding Graduate by faculty vote for the Class of 2002, and is a member of the Board of Trustees. Resources & Links: Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-207-selecting-the-right-attorney-for-your-divorce-with-patrick-kilbane/ Register to join Kate on the 2nd Tuesday of Every Month for a Live Q&A SessionRetreat with Kate Grit & Grace Coaching Program Join the Should I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group Ullmann Wealth PartnersPatrick on LinkedIn Patrick on Instagram Move Forward Confidently: A Women's Guide to Navigating High-Net-Worth Divorce TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage…once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you'll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

This week, special needs consultant, advisor, and mediator Josh Kershenbaum, Esq., joins me to discuss navigating divorce when you have children with special needs. We touch on the challenges divorcing parents of children with disabilities face, the most common pitfalls and how to avoid them, and how to best advocate for your child now and in the future. Josh Kershenbaum, Esq., is a dedicated Peacemaker with extensive training and experience in both Mediation and Collaborative Law. He earned certifications in both Negotiation and Mediation at Harvard Law School's Program on Negotiation and trained in Divorce & Family Mediation with mediation luminaries Forrest ("Woody") Mosten and Susan Guthrie at the Mosten Guthrie Academy, where he is now on the training faculty. Featured topics include: When parents don't agree about a child's special needs or one parent disagrees that a child even has special needs or a disability (8:59) The family court system is not set up to handle divorce when there are children with special needs (14:17) How to advocate for your children's needs during a high-conflict divorce (18:53) The importance of planning for the long-term needs of your children—will they need ongoing care, a special needs trust, or other specific provisions for their unique situation? (28:23) "If you can build a flexible divorce agreement, it will serve you and your children well." (38:01) Part of having a child-centered divorce is acknowledging the decisions you make today will have an impact on your children even years after your divorce (43:13) There are ways to go through a divorce that keep co-parents in control, such as mediation and collaborative divorce (50:21) Learn more about Josh Kershenbaum, Esq. Josh Kershenbaum, Esq., is a dedicated Peacemaker with extensive training and experience in both Mediation and Collaborative Law. He earned certifications in both Negotiation and Mediation at Harvard Law School's Program on Negotiation and completed additional Mediation training through the CORA/Good Shepherd Mediation Program. Josh trained in Divorce & Family Mediation with mediation luminaries Forrest ("Woody") Mosten and Susan Guthrie at the Mosten Guthrie Academy, where he is now on the training faculty. He is also a member of the Board of Directors for the Pennsylvania Council of Mediators. Josh has presented at professional conferences across the country, most recently for the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP), the Academy of Special Needs Planners (ASNP), the Council for Appropriate Dispute Resolution in Education (CADRE), the Council of Parent Attorneys and Advocates (COPAA), as well as for numerous professional and community organizations. He has been a guest on several programs on National Public Radio, and on the popular podcasts, Divorce and Beyond (Susan Guthrie) and Good Law Bad Law (Aaron Freiwald). Josh began his legal career at Montgomery McCracken Walker & Rhoads, LLC in Philadelphia. He went on to found of Pennsylvania's premier law firms dedicated to representing the legal rights of children with special needs. Josh later served as Senior Counsel for ADR for one of the region's most well-respected family law firms, before returning to solo-practice as a Mediator and Collaborative divorce professional. He earned his law degree, cum laude, from Temple University's Beasley School of Law and his B.A., a magna cum laude, from Amherst College. Before practicing law, Josh was a public school teacher in Newton, Massachusetts, and served as a Board member for Greater Boston PFLAG. He lives in Bucks County, Pennsylvania with his family of five humans and three rescue cats. Resources & Links: Information and resources may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/navigating-divorce-when-you-have-children-with-special-needs-with-josh-kershenbaum-esq/ Register to join the next Coffee Clatch with Kate on March 14th! Grit & Grace Coaching ProgramJosh on LinkedIn Connect with Josh: Jkershenbaum(at)gmail.com TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you'll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

The Merriam-Webster Word of the Year for 2022 was Gaslighting. Last year, the word experienced a 1,740% increase in lookups, yet there is still much to learn—and many myths to bust. In this episode, fan-favorite Dr. Amelia Kelley returns to discuss healing from gaslighting. Together we shed light on the insidious nature of gaslighting and the importance of healing and self-care. Dr. Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist who has conducted research on the effects of exercise on adult ADHD symptoms as well as the effects of resiliency on PTSD. She is a trainer, podcaster, and writer in the "science-help" field, focusing on; women's issues, empowering survivors of abuse and relationship trauma, Highly Sensitive Persons, motivation, healthy living, and adult ADHD. We explore how gaslighting is used to maintain power and control over someone and how it can lead to self-doubt and a lack of confidence. Dr. Kelley shares the steps to overcome and heal from gaslighting and stresses the importance of self-care to self-regulate and fortify yourself against this deceptive form of abuse. Featured topics include: The misconception of gaslighting: what it is and what it isn't (2:25) The effects of gaslighting on a victim's mental health (4:20) Dr. Kelley addresses the question, "Is lying gaslighting?" (10:14) You cannot heal from trauma that you are still experiencing (20:08) The steps to overcome and heal from gaslighting include becoming aware, getting outside feedback, and boundary setting (21:39) What self-care looks like during the healing process (43:17) Self-regulation for chronic stress when being emotionally abused (59:40) Learn more about Dr. Amelia Kelley: Dr. Amelia Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist who has conducted research on the effects of exercise on adult ADHD symptoms as well as the effects of resiliency on PTSD. She is a trained Hypno-therapist, Art therapist, HSP Therapist, EMDR-informed therapist, meditation teacher, as well as a Certified Yoga instructor integrating therapeutic yoga and psychotherapy. She is a trainer, podcaster and writer in the "science-help" field focusing on; women's issues, empowering survivors of abuse and relationship trauma, Highly Sensitive Persons, motivation, healthy living, and adult ADHD. Dr. Kelley is an adjunct counseling professor at Yorkville University as well as a nationally recognized relationship expert featured on XM Radio's Doctor Channel on The Psychiatry Show. She is a coach and trainer for SAS's Work/Life Program in Cary, NC and a resident trainer for the NC Art Therapy Institute. Her private practice is currently part of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium at the Kinsey Institute. She is a co-author of What I Wish I Knew: Surviving and Thriving After an Abusive Relationship and a contributing author for the Highly Sensitive Refuge. You can find out more about her work at her website www.ameliakelley.com or by following her on Instagram @drameliakelley. Resources & Links: Information and resources may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/healing-from-gaslighting-with-dr-amelia-kelley/ Register to join Kate on the 2nd Tuesday of Every Month for a Live Q&A SessionRetreat with Kate - Early Bird Pricing Ends 2/28! Grit & Grace Coaching ProgramDr. Kelley's websiteDr. Kelley on Instagram NYTimes Article about Women and Menopause Heart Disease in Women TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you'll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

Thinking about keeping the house in your divorce? This week, Tami Wollensak joins me to talk about the things you need to consider when deciding whether or not you should keep your marital home. We explore the importance of understanding your finances and what to keep (and manage) the home. We also discuss some of the hidden costs associated with keeping the home such as homeowners insurance, getting a home inspection, and more. Tami offers insightful advice that will help you come to a more informed and peaceful decision about your home. Tami is a Certified Divorce Lending Professional (CDLP™) and Senior Mortgage Loan Originator. She takes a holistic approach to the process of evaluating mortgage options in the context of the overall financial objectives as they relate to divorcing situations prior to settlement for the best outcome for the divorcing homeowners. Featured topics include: Even if you want to keep your house, you may not qualify for a mortgage loan (7:42) How a CDLP can help you negotiate to keep your marital home (16:18) Keeping the home might not be your best option (17:15) Understanding and evaluating the numbers can help you to move forward with a peaceful decision (22:19) You have to be the CFO of your divorce (24:13) Why your credit and obtaining your credit report is critical (33:24) Some of the things you may not have considered about keeping the home like ongoing maintenance, getting a home inspection, and homeowners' insurance (37:00) Learn more about Tami Wollensak: Tami Wollensak is a licensed mortgage loan originator and a 25+ year veteran of the industry, she has experience working in multiple roles and facets of the industry. She has discovered her true passion in helping divorcing individuals navigate their home equity solutions while going through the most challenging time of their life. Tami has earned the certification as a Certified Divorce Lending Professional (CDLP™). This specialization provides her the ability to identify potential gaps in the agreement that cannot be met during the mortgage process. Tami works with her client's attorney, mediator, or financial advisor to help guide them through all the options available to ensure a successful outcome regarding the divorcing couple's real estate. As a Mortgage Loan Originator, Tami's (NMLS #1963450) goal is to educate her clients, take the mystery and anxiety out of the mortgage process, and provide a sense of security and peace to each of them. Oak Leaf Community Mortgage is a division of Mutual Federal Bank, Equal Housing Lender, and FDIC insured. Resources & Links: Links and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/take-or-leave-the-house-with-tami-wollensak/ Register to join Kate on the 2nd Tuesday of Every Month for a Live Q&A Session!Tami's website Tami on Facebook Tami on LinkedIn Tami on Instagram Book a Meeting with Tami ============================ DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: WORTHY The Divorce Survival Guide podcast is sponsored by Worthy. Worthy helps you get the most money possible for your diamond jewelry or luxury watch, fast and risk-free. Their experts do all the work for you, and their competitive auctions get you up to 3X what a local jeweler might offer in as little as 2 weeks. With Worthy, you're in control from start to finish. If your item doesn't sell for the price you want, Worthy sends it back to you at no cost, fully insured. And now for a limited time, you'll get an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for over $1,500. All you have to do is register at https://worthy.com/dsg-podcast. (See website for terms.) JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

Today I welcome back Dr. Christine Cocchiola to discuss the importance of talking and educating about coercive control, domestic violence, and other abuses (legal, financial, and so on) to better understand, identify, and ultimately advocate for yourself, your children, or loved ones in family court. Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW is a Coercive Control Advocate, Educator, Researcher & Survivor. She is a full-time college professor teaching social work for the last 20 years in CT and also an adjunct instructor at NYU. Featured topics include: Coercive control can happen in any relationship or any environment (4:08) Most domestic violence is based on power and control (6:59) The lack of ratification of The Equal Rights Amendment and its effect on women - such as the fact that women cannot sue for violation of their rights (18:23) How to litigate within a family court system that is stacked against you (26:47) Why it is important to think like the abuser as well as be two steps ahead when going into a courtroom (33:44) Divorce attorneys need to understand and be attuned to the difference between victims and perpetrators (40:29) Learn more about Dr. Christine Cocchiola: Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW is a Coercive Control Advocate, Educator, Researcher & Survivor. She is a full-time college professor teaching social work for the last 20 years in CT and also an adjunct instructor at NYU. Her expertise is in the areas of coercive control and the traumatic experiences of both adult and child victims, developing and presenting workshops on these topics both nationally and internationally. Christine, a Board Member of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, has supported policy codifying coercive control and has a small private practice, primarily serving victims and survivors of coercive control. She is the creator of the Protective Parenting Program, supporting protective mothers on their journey toward healing their children. Resources & Links: Information may also be found at http://www.kateanthony.com/podcast/empowering-victims-to-have-a-voice-with-dr-christine-cocchiola Grit & Grace Coaching Program Dr. Cocchiola's website Dr. Cocchiola on Instagram Dr. Cocchiola on Facebook Dr. Cocchiola on Twitter Dr. Cocchiola on LinkedIn Dr. Cocchiola's past episode on Coercive Control ============================ DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: WORTHY The Divorce Survival Guide podcast is sponsored by Worthy. Worthy helps you get the most money possible for your diamond jewelry or luxury watch, fast and risk-free. Their experts do all the work for you, and their competitive auctions get you up to 3X what a local jeweler might offer in as little as 2 weeks. With Worthy, you're in control from start to finish. If your item doesn't sell for the price you want, Worthy sends it back to you at no cost, fully insured. And now for a limited time, you'll get an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for over $1,500. All you have to do is register at https://worthy.com/dsg-podcast. (See website for terms.) JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

This episode is going to change your life. Chris Rackliffe joins me for a profound conversation about anxious attachment and the three components of healing. We also discuss shame, the fear of abandonment, and how to break the cycle of attachment. It's truly an inspiring conversation. Chris Rackliffe is a personal development writer and anxious attachment style coach, whose ability to paint with words has touched the lives of millions of people around the world. Rackliffe shares stories that cut straight to the heart, detailing his own heartfelt and harrowing experiences to help others lead happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives. In his books and blogs, keynotes, and coaching sessions, Rackliffe blends principles of psychology, philosophy, physics, and spirituality with his signature storytelling aimed to make you feel and heal. Featured topics include: The difference between independence and interdependence in a relationship. (8:22) Anxious attachment: what it is and how it shows up in relationships. (9:03) You are not broken and don't require fixing. You need love, support, and encouragement. You do not need to beat yourself up any longer. (25:38) Shame is the fear of being unworthy, a fear of being too much or not good enough. (26:30) You need people who get you, see you, and respect you. If you have to start with a professional, that's okay. Start somewhere. (32:48) Self-care should be replenishing and rejuvenating your full system: mind, body, and spirit. (35:29) How the fear of abandonment can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. (43:56) Learn more about Chris Rackliffe: Chris Rackliffe, or @crackliffe, as he is fondly known by friends and readers alike, is a trauma survivor, mental health advocate, anxious attachment style coach, and author of the self-help book, It's Good to See Me Again: How to Find Your Way When You Feel Lost—an illuminating guidebook on the journey to find emotional healing. Throughout his extensive career, he has engaged millions of people around the globe as head of social media for some of the best-known magazines in the world, including Entertainment Weekly, Men's Health, PEOPLE, and more. Chris spent the last decade helping these brands connect with their readers; now, he's using the skills he learned for the good of humanity, helping to spread messages of acceptance, healing, and growth through his books, talks, newsletters, and TikTok community of nearly 100,000 strong. A sought-after adviser, instructor, and motivational speaker, Chris was named one of 40 Under 40 Brand Marketers in New York in 2018 by Brand Innovators and was also highlighted in the 2015 Folio: 100 as a key figure helping to shape the future of media. With a B.S. in Psychology from the University of Miami—and an honorary Ph.D. in the "School of Life"—Chris paints with words, telling first-person stories that cut straight to the heart. Chris has made it his sole purpose to help others find peace, perspective, and power through their struggles. You can read his work on Medium, Thrive Global, TIME, Women's Health, and beyond. Resources & Links: Information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/anxious-attachment-and-how-to-heal-with-chris-rackliffe Retreat with Kate Chris' website Chris on Facebook Chris on Instagram Chris on TikTok Chris on YouTube DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: WORTHY The Divorce Survival Guide podcast is sponsored by Worthy. Worthy helps you get the most money possible for your diamond jewelry or luxury watch, fast and risk-free. Their experts do all the work for you, and their competitive auctions get you up to 3X what a local jeweler might offer in as little as 2 weeks. With Worthy, you're in control from start to finish. If your item doesn't sell for the price you want, Worthy sends it back to you at no cost, fully insured. And now for a limited time you'll get an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for over $1,500. All you have to do is register at https://worthy.com/dsg-podcast. (See website for terms.) JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

Lora Cheadle has overcome the devastation of betrayal after learning about her husband's fifteen-year-long infidelity. In this episode, she joins me to share her story including how she helps women reclaim their identity, self-worth, agency, and enthusiasm for life after betrayal. Lora is a former attorney, podcast host, TEDx speaker, and award-winning author of FLAUNT! Drop Your Cover and Reveal your Smart, Sexy, & Spiritual Self. This is definitely a must-listen episode, not only to hear about how Lora overcame her heartbreak but also for an amazing plot twist to her story! It's an inspiring conversation. Featured topics include: Lora recollects her story of betrayal and how she was able to finally understand she didn't cause it or deserve it. (2:33) As her relationship was cracking, Lora shares how she had to stand in integrity and still show up as a parent to her children. (16:35) It's not your job to deal with a partner's trauma, however, it is important to understand what trauma does to a person and how it can cause them to react and relate. (18:39) It's not what you try to do to heal them, it's what they do. (21:00) The importance of disclosures in affair recovery. (22:26) The only person that gets to say when trust is restored is the person who was betrayed. (26:21) Ask yourself these questions: "Who am I and what do I want? What do I deserve? What am I not going to tolerate anymore?" (27:25) The acronym FLAUNT: Find your fetish, laugh out loud, accept unconditionally, navigate, and trust in your truths. (29:54) Learn more about Lora Cheadle: An attorney, TEDx speaker, and betrayal recovery coach, Lora Cheadle helps women overcome the devastation of betrayal and confidently engage in life again. After being shattered by her husband's fifteen years of infidelity, she uses her experience to help others reclaim their identity, self-worth, agency, and enthusiasm for life after betrayal, whether that betrayal is from their body, life, or someone that they love. Lora is the creator of the Life Choreography® betrayal-recovery process and leads both FLAUNT! and Step into Your Moxie® workshops and training that help participants reclaim their identity, own their worth, and speak up for what they want. She is the author of the award-winning book, "FLAUNT! Drop Your Cover and Reveal Your Smart, Sexy and Spiritual Self" and has written for Elephant Journal, Om Yoga Journal, Yoga Magazine, Thrive Global, Aspire Magazine, and The Girlfriend. Named an Exceptional Woman of Excellence by the Women Economic Forum in India in 2019, she was the plenary speaker on "Reclaiming Voice With Validation" as well as a breakout workshop leader and presenter. She has spoken at DisruptHR, for IPMA-HR, SHRM, Alexia Vernon Empowerment, SecondAct Woman, American Association of Healers, Optimist and Rotary International. She is the host of the top-rated radio show and podcast, "FLAUNT! Find Your Sparkle and Create a Life You Love After Infidelity and Betrayal." Resources & Links: Information and resources may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/life-after-betrayal-with-lora-cheadle/ Retreat with Kate Lora's website Lora on Facebook Lora on YouTube Lora on Instagram Lora on LinkedIn Download your "Sparkle after Betrayal Recovery Guide DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: WORTHY The Divorce Survival Guide podcast is sponsored by Worthy. Worthy helps you get the most money possible for your diamond jewelry or luxury watch, fast and risk-free. Their experts do all the work for you, and their competitive auctions get you up to 3X what a local jeweler might offer in as little as 2 weeks. With Worthy, you're in control from start to finish. If your item doesn't sell for the price you want, Worthy sends it back to you at no cost, fully insured. And now for a limited time you'll get an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for over $1,500. All you have to do is register at https://worthy.com/dsg-podcast. (See website for terms.) JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

Today, we're going to be talking about something called Mental Emotional Release (MER) with guest Rich Heller. The MER technique helps to release triggers or emotional patterns, thereby leading us on a path toward healing. Divorce is an emotionally charged time, so I thought this might be an interesting topic to share with listeners. Rich is a Relationship Fitness Coach and mediator. He helps parents transform a negative relationship with conflict into one in which they resolve differences creatively. He helps them learn the tools and techniques needed to increase joy and resilience for themselves and their children. Rich is also an MER facilitator. MER is fascinating and Rich describes it in-depth, in this episode. Featured topics include: When you're getting divorced triggers are really expensive (5:01) How MER helps the unconscious mind release emotional triggers (16:42) We geek out on brain facts like how our unconscious mind does not know the difference between what we imagine versus what is real (18:39) Learn more about Rich Heller: Rich is a Relationship Fitness Coach and mediator. Rich helps parents to transform a negative relationship with conflict into one in which they resolve differences creatively. He helps them learn the tools and techniques needed to increase joy and resilience for themselves and their children. Additionally Rich helps organizations and businesses transform destructive conflict into a vehicle for change and innovation. He went to Vassar College for his BA and Hunter School of Social Work for his MA. He is a trained mediator and parent coordinator, Professional Certified Coach, and an ELI Master Practitioner. No stranger to conflict. Rich Heller grew up in NYC, is a child of divorce, has been divorced, and successfully remarried. He and his partner Katherine have been married for over 20 years and launched five children into the world. Resources & Links: Information and links can also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/the-mental-emotional-release-technique-with-rich-heller Retreat with Kate Rich's website Rich on Youtube Rich on Facebook Rich on Instagram TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: WORTHY The Divorce Survival Guide podcast is sponsored by Worthy. Worthy helps you get the most money possible for your diamond jewelry or luxury watch, fast and risk-free. Their experts do all the work for you, and their competitive auctions get you up to 3X what a local jeweler might offer in as little as 2 weeks. With Worthy, you're in control from start to finish. If your item doesn't sell for the price you want, Worthy sends it back to you at no cost, fully insured. And now for a limited time you'll get an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for over $1,500. All you have to do is register at https://worthy.com/dsg-podcast. (See website for terms.) JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

This week I welcome Dr. Tom Murray for a conversation about the difference between discernment counseling and couples therapy. Dr. Tom is an author, international trainer, educator, and couples and sex-therapist supervisor. He is also a sought-after expert in sexuality and intimate relationships. In this episode, we get to the root of why couples therapy does not work in the traditional sense, and how discernment counseling might be a better option for you and your partner. This is a wonderful and insightful discussion for all who listen. Featured topics include: Discernment counseling: what it is and how it can help couples make a decision about what's next for them (4:07) The difference between couples therapy and discernment counseling (6:42) The three paths of discernment counseling: status quo, divorce, or couples therapy (7:34) If there is domestic violence in a relationship, discernment counseling is not appropriate (9:10) Agenda versus Love: "When I want you to be as I want you to be, that's an agenda. When I want you to be as you want to be, that's love." Even in the presence of love, however, you don't have to stay married. (18:00) Why Dr. Tom says, "Rather than focus on the assumption that therapy is the catalyst for the change, focus on the change you want to see." (22:21) Learn more about Dr. Tom Murray: Dr. Tom Murray, an international trainer, educator, and couples and sex therapist, is a widely sought-after expert in sexuality and intimate relationships. He authored the 2022 book, Making Nice with Naughty: An intimacy guide for the rule-following, organized, perfectionist, practical, and color-within-the-line types. For 20+ years, Murray has worked with everyday folks to embrace their weirdness, shed labels and shame, lean into anxiety, and build better and stronger relationships. Murray's doctorate is in marriage and family counseling from the University of Florida. Clinically, he combines a pull-no-punches, no-beating-around-the-bush style. His integrated therapy approach has helped folks quiet the mind-chatter that interferes with happiness, intimacy, and quality sexual relationships. Dr. Murray has appeared in numerous venues, including the Huffington Post and The Daily Mail, as well as radio, television and podcasts, including the Practice of Being Seen and Shrink Rap Radio. He's a highly acclaimed presenter at local, regional, and national conferences on various mental health and relationship topics. Dr. Murray has published numerous articles in professional journals and has had faculty affiliations with UNC Greensboro, Walden University, Lindsey Wilson College, Northwestern University's Family Institute, the Modern Sex Therapy Institute, and Adler University. In addition to his couples and sex therapy practice, Dr. Murray is passionate about Highly Sensitive Persons, artists, actors, dancers, musicians, and other creative types. With nearly a decade of experience as the director of a counseling center for one of the premier art conservatories in the nation, Dr. Murray integrates knowledge from business, positive psychology, sports psychology, mindfulness, and performance optimization to manifest creative aspirations. Dr. Murray lives in Greensboro, NC, along with his two sons. In addition to his strong passion for sex-positive, clinical practice, and advocacy, Dr. Murray enjoys writing jokes, taking comedy improv courses, cooking and baking, singing, and participating in his faith community. Resources & Links: Grit & Grace Dr. Tom Murray's websiteDr. Tom's book TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: WORTHY The Divorce Survival Guide podcast is sponsored by Worthy. Worthy helps you get the most money possible for your diamond jewelry or luxury watch, fast and risk-free. Their experts do all the work for you, and their competitive auctions get you up to 3X what a local jeweler might offer in as little as 2 weeks. With Worthy, you're in control from start to finish. If your item doesn't sell for the price you want, Worthy sends it back to you at no cost, fully insured. And now for a limited time you'll get an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for over $1,500. All you have to do is register at https://worthy.com/dsg-podcast. (See website for terms.) JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

Dawn Dais, author of The Sh!t No One Tells You… series joins me on the podcast to talk about the things nobody tells you about divorce. Her most recent book The Shit No One Tells You About Divorce takes readers along on her bumpy, meandering, and often absurd journey through the destruction of life exploded by divorce as she tries to figure out what happened… and what happens next. In this episode, Dawn shares her divorce journey, her experience writing her latest book, and some of the lessons she's learned along the way. Featured topics include: You have to process your thoughts and feelings about divorce eventually, otherwise, it all catches up with you and impacts future relationships Dawn takes us through what she calls the seven stages of divorce: Denial, Glee/Booze, The Blame Game, Netflix and Cry, All the Therapy, The Hoe Phase, and The Shrug The biggest lesson of Dawn's divorce, as a co-parent, was "I can't be done with this person. We have to come back to the table and redefine how we are to each other; for our kids." You are going to walk away from a divorce with different narratives and you have no control over what their narrative is. Dawn answers, "Do you feel there are different dynamics with parenting, relationships, and divorce coming from the perspective of LGBTQ+ couples?" Learn more about Dawn: Dawn Dais knows all about life's rollercoasters; in fact, she's made a career of writing bestselling books about them. Whether she was going from couch potato to marathoner, navigating pregnancy, or tackling parenting, her books have become go-to guides for honest, been-there-done-that wisdom delivered with wicked humor. But what do you do when life blindsides you with a challenge that is decidedly less entertaining? After 12 years of domestic partnership, five properties, two children, and 10 pets, Dawn and her partner decided to call it quits. In THE SH!T NO ONE TELLS YOU ABOUT DIVORCE: A Guide to Breaking Up, Falling Apart, and Putting Yourself Back Together, Dawn takes readers on her bumpy journey through a life exploded by divorce. She dodges legal hurdles, irrational decisions, alarmed therapists, random hobbies, and a concerning number of dating app profiles that look like the beginning of a true crime podcast. Leaning into the mess, Dawn helps readers learn the art of embracing "Netflix and cry," the healing power of profanity, the importance of assembling the right support squad, how to survive the sh!tshow of co-parenting, and much more. THE SH!T NO ONE TELLS YOU ABOUT DIVORCE is a true-to-life and funnier-than-it-should-be guide that helps readers navigate a life blown apart and embrace the unique opportunity to put things back together in better ways. Resources & Links: Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/the-sht-they-dont-tell-you-about-divorce-with-dawn-dais/ Private Coaching with KateDawn's websiteDawn's book: The Sh!t No One Tells You About DivorceDawn on Twitter Dawn on Instagram TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: WORTHY The Divorce Survival Guide podcast is sponsored by Worthy. Worthy helps you get the most money possible for your diamond jewelry or luxury watch, fast and risk-free. Their experts do all the work for you, and their competitive auctions get you up to 3X what a local jeweler might offer in as little as 2 weeks. With Worthy, you're in control from start to finish. If your item doesn't sell for the price you want, Worthy sends it back to you at no cost, fully insured. And now for a limited time you'll get an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for over $1,500. All you have to do is register at https://worthy.com/dsg-podcast. (See website for terms.) TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINK Proof. Protection. Peace of Mind. The Soberlink remote alcohol monitoring system consists of a portable breathalyzer with wireless technology for real-time results. With proven use as the leading choice in child custody cases since 2011, we are the only system that combines: Court admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Trust the Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to support the best interests of the hild in your Family Law cases. JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

I am back this week with another Q&A-style episode. Full disclosure, I didn't have a podcast episode prepared for this week because I'd been sick and had to keep canceling interviews, but I had an Ask Me Anything (AMA) scheduled for my Facebook group, so I thought it would be fun to share the recording of that on the podcast this week. In this episode, I answer questions related to co-parenting with an abusive ex, tackling feelings of guilt or anxiety, falling out of love, being triggered in new relationships, and address this really beautiful one, "I just want to know that the children will be okay." There were so many amazing questions asked and I am so thankful to all of the amazing women who showed up for the live recording. At the end of the day the most important thing is that you show up to do the work, and for your kids. When you do that, then yes, the children will be okay. I hope you enjoy this episode! Links: Resources and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/ask-me-anything Kate's coaching, programs, and courses:Grit & GraceThe Divorce Survival ProgramShould I Stay or Should I Go?Tackling Codependence Podcast episodes:Healing from Betrayal with Gilza Fort Martinez, LMFTPost-Betrayal Transformation With Dr. Debi SilberProtective Parenting with Dr. Christine CocchiolaCouples Therapy and Abuse with Annette Oltmans Blog posts:Living Together While Separated? Here's How To Take Back Control Of Your Life Books:Facing Codependence, Pia MellodyParenting Apart, Christina McGhee Other resources referenced:Marriage Recovery CenterChristina McGhee The M3ND Project TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: WORTHY The Divorce Survival Guide podcast is sponsored by Worthy. Worthy helps you get the most money possible for your diamond jewelry or luxury watch, fast and risk-free. Their experts do all the work for you, and their competitive auctions get you up to 3X what a local jeweler might offer in as little as 2 weeks. With Worthy, you're in control from start to finish. If your item doesn't sell for the price you want, Worthy sends it back to you at no cost, fully insured. And now for a limited time, you'll get an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for over $1,500. All you have to do is register at https://worthy.com/dsg-podcast. (See website for terms.) JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

I am back with a new episode this week and it is a listener Q&A! You've submitted your questions and stories on topics such as co-parenting, how to make hard decisions about divorce, and how to survive financially, especially if you can't afford to leave your marriage. Tune into this episode to hear my answers to these questions and more. In this episode, I answer these listener questions: My partner and I have had a separation conversation with our children. We've separated and now we're moving on to the divorce process. When do we tell our children about the divorce? How can I create healthy boundaries and life for myself, when my ex-husband and I have a young child together? I cannot afford to leave and am overwhelmed with things like car maintenance, home maintenance, and repairs. How can I survive financially? Should I move back to my home country with my two kids where I have a support system or stay in the country where their life is and their father is, but where I'm alone? How do I cope with the number of decisions I must make while going through a divorce - such as what lawyer to hire, what to do with the family home, and what custody schedule to follow? Links:Desha Kennedy on Instagram @thebrokeblackgirl TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: WORTHY The Divorce Survival Guide podcast is sponsored by Worthy. Worthy helps you get the most money possible for your diamond jewelry or luxury watch, fast and risk-free. Their experts do all the work for you, and their competitive auctions get you up to 3X what a local jeweler might offer in as little as 2 weeks. With Worthy, you're in control from start to finish. If your item doesn't sell for the price you want, Worthy sends it back to you at no cost, fully insured. And now for a limited time, you'll get an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for over $1,500. All you have to do is register at https://worthy.com/dsg-podcast. (See website for terms.) JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

This week I am re-sharing my episode featuring Michelle Dempsey-Multack which was all about how to survive the holidays pre- or post-divorce. If this is your first Christmas alone or last holiday as a single-family unit, this episode will offer advice about how to create new holiday traditions, how to set boundaries, and how to take care of yourself during this highly emotional and uncertain time in your life. Michelle is a writer, coach, Certified Divorce Specialist (CDS®), and host of the Moms Moving On Podcast. As a divorced, co-parenting, and remarried mother, nothing makes Michelle happier than being able to guide other women as they move on through the divorce process, and helping them turn their divorce lemons into lemonade – just like she did. A native New Yorker, Michelle now resides in Miami with her husband, Spencer, and each of their daughters, Bella and Jolie. Resources & Links:Links and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-spotlight-surviving-the-holidays-with-michelle-dempsey-multack Michelle's website Michelle on Instagram Michelle on Facebook Mom's Moving On Podcast TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: WORTHY The Divorce Survival Guide podcast is sponsored by Worthy. Worthy helps you get the most money possible for your diamond jewelry or luxury watch, fast and risk-free. Their experts do all the work for you, and their competitive auctions get you up to 3X what a local jeweler might offer in as little as 2 weeks. With Worthy, you're in control from start to finish. If your item doesn't sell for the price you want, Worthy sends it back to you at no cost, fully insured. And now for a limited time, you'll get an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for over $1,500. All you have to do is register at https://worthy.com/dsg-podcast. (See website for terms.) JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

This week I welcome love coach Shaun Galanos to the show. Together we discuss communication tools for better relationships, modern dating, and love. Shaun is also the host of The Love Drive podcast and an online course creator. If you are divorced and thinking about dating - this episode is an invitation to strive for more open communication in new relationships. Every conversation is an opportunity to learn more about yourself and those around you. Show Highlights: Why communication in relationships feels hard or scary (3:42) Modern dating and getting back out there (8:04) We all need external validation, but it does not have to come from a new romantic partner (16:28) Red flags and triggers: how to evaluate red flags and what to do about relationship triggers (20:12) What does fear of intimacy actually mean? (29:31) Sex and dating: the best guideline is "Do I want to and do they want to?" (41:44) Learn more about Shaun: Shaun Galanos is a love coach, host of The Love Drive podcast, and an online course creator. He teaches intimacy and communication tools for better relationships and more love. He holds certifications in Personal and Professional Coaching from Concordia University, Rape Crisis Counseling from BAWAR in Oakland, CA, and a Bachelor's Degree in Interpersonal Communication from UC Santa Barbara. When he's not teaching courses on intimacy and communication or recording his podcast, he's continuing to learn about love, working on this relationship with his partner, and building community in Montreal. Resources & Links: Links and information can also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/communication-for-better-relationships-and-love-with-shaun-galanos/ Submit your questions to be answered on a future episode Grit and Grace Group Coaching is Open – Join us! Shaun's website Shaun on Instagram Shaun on TikTok Shaun on Facebook Shaun on YouTube TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you'll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

Adam Dodge and Adriane Nada join me for a conversation about how to empower your children to make good decisions online. Kids today understand how to use technology, but that does not mean they know how to do it safely. The internet was not built for children, but that's where they are growing up. Adam and Adriane created The Tech-Savvy Parent online course to keep parents informed and their kids safe. In this episode, they share some ways parents can lay the groundwork for having safe interactions in an online world. Adam Dodge is an internationally recognized digital safety expert and a parent. You may have heard him on the podcast when he joined me to talk about how to protect yourself from digital abuse. Adriane Nada is Professor, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, and a parent too. Show Highlights Adam and Adriane explain what they mean by "kids' lives have gone digital, but parenting has not." (5:05) How to be more involved in a child's digital life and keep the conversation open (15:17) Why we need to expand conversations about strangers from the physical world to the online world. Online harm is as serious as offline harm. (17:35) How to teach kids empathy and consent in ways that will be effective during online interactions (27:51) Learn more about Adam and Adriane: Adam Dodge, Esq., is a Digital Safety Expert and Founder of EndTAB.org. The founder of EndTAB, Adam is an internationally recognized digital safety expert who believes you do not have to be a tech expert to stay safe in the digital age. His work is characterized by his dedication to preventing and addressing the ways adults and children are harmed online and via their devices. He has written and presented extensively on digital safety, online abuse prevention, technology-enabled abuse, and co-authored the first safety advisory on the emerging threat of 'deepfakes.' His work and expertise has been featured on CBS and in Vogue, the MIT Technology Review, Washington Post, NBC News, the Verge, Mashable, Wall Street Journal, SELF Magazine, Los Angeles Times, GQ, HuffPost and others. Adam is a licensed attorney in California and prior to founding EndTAB, he spent 9 years leading the legal department at Southern California Domestic Violence Nonprofit. Adriane Nada MS, LMFT, LPCC is a licensed marriage and family therapist and licensed professional clinical counselor living in Portland, Oregon. Nada is certified in eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy. As a clinician in private practice, Nada specializes in healing childhood trauma and anxiety. She believes profound and lasting change emerges through the use of client-centered and holistic methods, integrating traditional psychotherapy theories and practice with mind-body approaches. As an adjunct professor of psychology at Pepperdine University, her class instruction has included the following courses: Clinical Interventions for Children and Adolescents; Individual Techniques in Counseling and Psychotherapy; and Couple and Family Therapy. Resources & Links: Links and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/keeping-your-kids-safe-online-with-adam-dodge-and-adriane-nada/ The Tech-Savvy ParentHow to Protect Yourself From Digital Abuse with Adam Dodge Gabb Cell Phone TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINK Proof. Protection. Peace of Mind. The Soberlink remote alcohol monitoring system consists of a portable breathalyzer with wireless technology for real-time results. With proven use as the leading choice in child custody cases since 2011, we are the only system that combines: Court admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Trust the Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to support the best interests of the hild in your Family Law cases. JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

Dr. Christine Cocchiola returns to the show to talk about coercive control and its impact on children. Dr. Cocchiola's goal, and the goal of this episode, is to help you create a more secure environment for your child. Divorcing an abuser is hard, but while you are going through this really tumultuous time, you can still show your children a path to freedom. Yes, it's hard work. Perhaps it's the hardest work you will ever do, but you can reignite the attachment you have always had with your child and be their saving grace too. Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW is a Coercive Control Advocate, Educator, Researcher & Survivor. She is a full-time college professor teaching social work for the last 20 years in CT and also an adjunct instructor at NYU. Her expertise is in the areas of coercive control and the traumatic experiences of both adult and child victims, developing and presenting workshops on these topics both nationally and internationally. Show Highlights Coercive control is a pattern of behavior and it can be covert or overt. It is when one person wants to retain power and control over another (4:55) Coercive control is the foundation of most domestic abuse (5:17) If your spouse is abusing you, your child is a victim of abuse too. Children learn how to regulate their behavior to appease an abusive parent. (11:50) You have to be actively working to create a strong foundation so your child clearly knows you are the calm and safe parent (27:21) Abuse is a choice, and there is no excuse for it (41:26) Dr. Cocchiola answers, "Do coercive controllers have the ability to love their children?" (43:44) Learn more about Christine: Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW is a Coercive Control Advocate, Educator, Researcher & Survivor. She is a full-time college professor teaching social work for the last 20 years in CT and also an adjunct instructor at NYU. Her expertise is in the areas of coercive control and the traumatic experiences of both adult and child victims, developing and presenting workshops on these topics both nationally and internationally. Christine, a Board Member of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, has supported policy codifying coercive control and has a small private practice, primarily serving victims and survivors of coercive control. She is the creator of the Protective Parenting Program, supporting protective mothers on their journey toward healing their children. Resources & Links: Information and resources may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/protective-parenting-with-dr-christine-cocchiola Dr. Cocchiola's website Dr. Cocchiola on Instagram Dr. Cocchiola on Facebook Dr. Cocchiola on Twitter Dr. Cocchiola on LinkedIn Dr. Cocchiola's past episode on Coercive ControlThe Protective Parenting ProgramSurviving the Holidays with Michelle Dempsey-MultackCo-parenting During the Holidays, During a Pandemic with Michelle Dempsey-Multack TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you'll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

Liz Bailey joins me this week to share her experience leaving an abusive marriage and how that drives her passion for helping women rise up, thrive, and take action steps to move forward before, during, or after divorce. For listeners who feel they are never going to be on the other side of their divorce, Liz's story is a testament that there is "the other side," and that you can get there too—with planned action. Listen in to hear my candid conversation with Liz about her journey thus far, and what she's learned along the way. Show Highlights There are milestones in the divorce process that help you feel closer and closer to getting out (7:25) Abusive behaviors in people do not often change - fundamental values must shift which takes a lot of time and work (years worth). Short-term therapy is not the answer. (15:46) How Liz decided she was ready to leave her abusive relationship and the steps she took to plan her exit, safely (19:38) Your risk of domestic homicide greatly increases when you say you are going to leave. This is why it is imperative to plan and seek resources from domestic violence advocates (19:54) Why hiring a trauma-informed family lawyer is so important for abuse victims (28:00) Domestic Violence Shelters offer a wide variety of resources for you, including advocacy, legal aid, and more (36:08) Surround yourself with people who understand what is happening and can support you (36:53) Liz talks about co-parenting with her ex-spouse: "I believe the history of his behavior and therefore, practice BIFF." (42:25) Learn more about Liz: Liz G. Bailey is a mother, published author, speech-language pathologist, and podcast host who thrives at the intersection of compassion and humor — known for saying some off-the-wall stuff without a filter, all to create a transformative experience for her audiences. With a master's degree in communication sciences and a survivor of Domestic Violence, she knows what it means to use your voice to protect yourself and those you love. After bravely leaving an abusive marriage, she has triumphed over her life's challenges by seeing the bigger picture and raising herself through spiritual growth. Now, as a champion for women and an advocate for prevention and survivors of Domestic Violence, Liz shares her life's experiences on stage, at events, and on podcasts, inspiring her audiences to rise up and thrive, see their inherent value, and take action steps no matter the situation. When she is not writing inspiring articles or teaching others how to use their voices, she is speaking and editing her podcast, The Pretty Truth. She and her best friend connect with thought leaders from around the world on topics ranging from personal and spiritual growth to the power of communication in relationships to living up to your highest self after trauma. We created this podcast to remember and emphasize that we are not alone on our paths and that slowing down to be OK with our perfectly imperfect selves is powerful. Liz's purpose is to empower others and inspire the courage to walk away from victimhood and find wholeness and happiness after trauma. She communicates the truth and leaves people feeling joy, hope, and a desire to take action. Resources & Links: Grit and Grace Group Coaching is Open – Join us!Liz's websiteLiz on InstagramLiz on FacebookLiz on LinkedInLiz on TwitterDomesticshelters.org You Are a Badass, Jen Sincero Why Does He Do That, Lundy Bancroft The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel van der Kolk M.D. BIFF for Co-Parent Communication, Bill Eddy How to Communicate with a High-Conflict Co-Parent with Bill Eddy TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I've been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade. AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL OF MY DIVORCE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE IN ONE ONLINE PROGRAM. This program is 100% for you if… You're a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won't destroy your kids You're looking for answers and a roadmap You understand that divorce is a long game You're willing to put away your boxing gloves You want this to be a respectful and collaborative process in service of your kids You understand that divorce is, first and foremost, an emotional process and you're ready to 'go there' Are you ready to learn from one of the world's top divorce experts and set yourself on the path towards the best possible outcome? YEAH, Y'ARE!!! JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

Tracy Coenen is a forensic accountant who has been investigating fraud for more than twenty-five years. This year she released the Divorce Money Guide to help people in the process of divorce take control of their finances. In this episode, Tracy joins me for a conversation about becoming your own forensic accountant. Becoming your own forensic accountant helps you to gain agency, clarity, and understanding—and take back the power of your financial situation. Show Highlights Why you might need a forensic accountant: it all comes down to money shenanigans! (6:18) Don't feel ashamed about anything that happened with marital money - figure out where you are today and take some control back (9:35) What to do if your spouse refuses to answer questions about finances (12:04) Get into gathering mode - gather all of the financial information you can (12:50) Red flags that there might be something amiss with marital finances (15:32) How to objectively assess any red flags you are seeing (19:36) Taking agency and control over the finances in your marriage (22:48) How to know when you need to hire a professional (32:32) If you understand your money, you can get a better settlement in your divorce (35:09) Learn more about Tracy Coenen: Tracy has been investigating fraud for more than 25 years, but she didn't always want to be a forensic accountant. With a dream of one day being a prison warden, Tracy went to Marquette University in Milwaukee, WI to get a criminology degree. A class on financial crime investigations reminded her how much she loved Encyclopedia Brown books as a kid. She continued her criminology degree, but added accounting and economics courses so she could sit for the CPA exam… and here Tracy is, finding money in cases of corporate fraud, high net worth divorce, and other financial shenanigans. Resources & Links: Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/becoming-your-own-forensic-accountant-with-tracy-coenen Grit and Grace Group Coaching is Open - Join us!Tracy on InstagramTracy on LinkedInUse Code DSG to get $100 off Tracy's Divorce Money Guide TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINK Proof. Protection. Peace of Mind. The Soberlink remote alcohol monitoring system consists of a portable breathalyzer with wireless technology for real-time results. With proven use as the leading choice in child custody cases since 2011, we are the only system that combines: Court admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Trust the Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to support the best interests of the hild in your Family Law cases. JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

Mary Ann Hughes is the proud mother of two sons on opposite ends of the autism spectrum. Today she joins me for a conversation about going through a divorce when you have children with special needs. During her divorce, Mary Ann successfully advocated for her children's needs. As a result, she started Special Family Transitions to help families navigate the overwhelm and complexities of special needs divorce to get the best possible outcome, with as little time, money, and stress as possible. Today, she joins me for a conversation about navigating divorce in the midst of parenting (and eventually co-parenting) children with disabilities. Combining her experience and certifications as a Certified Divorce Coach, Certified Divorce Specialist, member of the National Association of Divorce Professionals, MBA, and years of special needs advocacy, Mary Ann is committed to supporting families with children with disabilities as a valued special needs divorce coach and consultant. Show Highlights Transitions can be hard for neurodivergent children – Mary Ann shares how parents approach the decision-making process of divorce The impact of divorce on children with disabilities How to co-parent with kids with special needs when a parent is not engaged or doesn't prioritize the children How and why you may want to set up a trust for your children What you need to know about divorce when you have kids on the spectrum Learn more about Mary Ann Hughes: As a mom of two boys on the autism spectrum who unexpectedly faced divorce after 21 years of marriage, Mary Ann Hughes had to learn how to navigate the complexities of special needs divorce, to effectively advocate for her children's needs and get a great result for her family in my divorce. Mary Ann formed Special Family Transitions and became a Special Needs Divorce Coach and Consultant so other moms of children with disabilities wouldn't have to spend the time, money, and emotional energy she did when faced with divorce. Mary Ann is on a mission to help mothers gain the confidence, skills and knowledge to successfully overcome the overwhelm and challenges of special needs divorce, to achieve the best possible result for their family. Mary Ann combines her experiences as a Certified Divorce Coach, Certified Divorce Transition and Recovery Coach, Certified Divorce Specialist, Certified Life Coach, member of National Association of Divorce Professionals and NADP Special Needs Chapter, LoneStar LEND Leadership Education in Autism and Neurodevelopmental Disabilities Fellow, MBA with a successful career in Fortune 100 companies (pre-kids), and years of special needs training and advocacy, to help her clients effectively advocate for themselves and their children in special needs divorce. Resources & Links: Information and links may also be found here: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/divorcing-with-children-with-special-needs-with-mary-ann-hughes/ Grit and Grace Group Coaching is Open – Join us!Mary Ann's websiteMary Ann on FacebookMary Ann on InstagramMary Ann on YouTube Mary Ann on TikTokMary Ann on LinkedIn Mary Ann's course: Keys to Success in Divorce for Moms of Children with Special Needs – DSG listeners get 25% off with discount code SFT. THE M3ND PROJECT The M3ND Project's mission is to bring clarity and validation to victims and survivors and to provide tools and resources for those who are responding to abuse. Annette Oltmans founded The M3ND Project coming out of her own experience as a survivor of emotional abuse and double abuse and after years of researching academic materials and personally interviewing hundreds of abuse survivors, therapists, and faith leaders. M3ND does this by providing various educational resources and training courses. Sometimes, it can be hard to articulate what you are going through when you try to reach out to a friend or therapist for help, and it can make you feel crazy. As a survivor, I remember feeling this way. When I first came across Mend's Terms and Definitions tool, which names and explains covert abusive tactics, it was SO validating and illuminating. M3ND wants to share this resource with The Divorce Survival Guide Listeners for free!! Go get this tool that I think is so essential: Grab M3ND's Terms and Definitions Tool: https://kateanthony.com/mend JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

October 1st marked the beginning of domestic violence awareness month. On September 30th, I learned that a member of my Facebook community was murdered by her boyfriend, who then turned the gun on himself. There are 11 murder-suicides rooted in domestic violence per week in the United States, so I decided to focus this week's episode on the epidemic of domestic violence and shed light on it with some of my thoughts on how we can attempt to move beyond this in our society. Unfortunately, when I am educating victims, it is already too late. In this episode, I talk about spreading awareness about raising our children to express their pain and feelings in a safe way, what to do if a co-parent is exhibiting toxic behavior, and the importance of educating yourself on domestic violence and abusive patterns or behaviors. Episode highlights: If you are in a toxic relationship where you feel unsafe, create a safety plan before you leave. 75% of domestic homicides occur when a person leaves an abusive relationship. I share precisely how to create a safety plan The importance of healing and doing trauma work after getting out of an abusive relationship Resources & Links: Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/solo-episode-one-of-our-members-was-murdered-last-week National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233 or TheHotline.org Non-violent parenting classesSafety plan outlineLeanne Oaten

Annette Oltmans returns to the show this week for an important conversation about going to couples therapy with an abuser. We discuss what therapy with an abuser can look like, when it works, when it doesn't work, and share strategies to protect yourself throughout. Annette is one of the very few people whose abusive husband did change after going to therapy - separately and together. She also shares what her experience was like and offers insight into what is required to heal. Annette's personal experiences of prolonged emotional abuse in marriage and her extensive journey of recovery including comprehensive field research into the topics of Original Abuse and Double Abuse® ignited her passion for founding The M3ND Project in 2016. Show Highlights Signs to look out for during therapy that it's not working and/or that it's dangerous to continue (9:24) Abuse victims need to experience therapeutic alignment that is on their side - that kind of support is not going to happen in couples therapy (13:20) The motivations and tactics of an abuser who agrees to go to couples therapy (31:03) If you are in a cycle of abuse, go to therapy, and nothing is changing - what do you do? (36:39) How to know therapy is working if you and your spouse decide to explore therapy separately (46:01) The victim should have a voice in the therapeutic process (47:55) It's a long journey for an abuser to do the work to change - they won't be changed within two months (51:55) A boundary without a consequence is just a complaint - the hard part is holding the boundary (54:57) Learn more about Annette Oltmans: Annette Oltmans is a philanthropist and passionate human rights advocate. Annette's personal experiences of prolonged emotional abuse in marriage and her extensive journey of recovery including comprehensive field research into the topics of Original Abuse and Double Abuse® ignited her passion to founding The M3ND Project in 2016. While seeking the help of professionals and responders, she experienced Double Abuse® in the form of spiritual and institutional abuse. These harmful encounters compelled Annette in her relentless pursuit for solutions that involved interviews with hundreds of victims and survivors. She uncovered common threads that cause victims prolonged states of confusion as well as what ultimately led them towards healing. Her journey also involved interviews with hundreds of faith-based leaders and therapists which led her to discover that most are untrained and ill-equipped to identify and help victims of emotional, verbal, and psychological abuse. In working to prevent and remediate such harm, Annette developed protocoled models that are now being taught and implemented with therapists, churches and professional organizations across the United States. She consulted with esteemed experts in abuse, trauma, and healing to ensure the materials align with the highest professional standards. Annette also serves on the Board of Pepperdine University's Boone Center for the Family and is a Board of Trustee member of Northrise University in Zambia. Her writing on these topics of abuse, domestic violence, and bullying has been published in the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC), Teen Vogue, and numerous other publications. Annette is also a contributing author in the newly released book, "Created to Thrive: Cultivating Abuse-Free Safe Communities". Resources & Links: Links and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/couples-therapy-and-abuse-with-annette-oltmans/ Get on the list to be notified about Group Coaching!The M3nd Project WebsiteTools and Resources from The M3ND ProjectThe M3ND Project on FacebookThe M3ND Project on Instagram The M3nd Project on YouTubeThe M3nd Project on Twitter Abuser. Narcissist. Sociopath. with Annette Oltmans Covert Emotional Abuse with Annette Oltmans The Marriage Recovery Center TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you'll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

I'm often asked, "What does a healthy relationship even look like?" Vanessa Bennett, LMFT, author, holistic psychotherapist, and codependency expert, joins me for a conversation that addresses that question. Plus, we discuss her new book, which she co-authored with her partner, John Kim (AKA: The Angry Therapist), "It's Not Me, It's You: Break the Blame Cycle. Relationship Better." The book covers the top ten issues couples struggle with and how they can work through them. We also discuss codependence versus interdependence, love languages, and more. Vanessa's therapeutic approach integrates years of study and practice in Depth, Buddhist, and Yoga Psychology. She co-hosts the Cheaper Than Therapy Podcast, leads soul-based retreats and workshops, and creates and facilitates curriculum for non-profit and corporate events and conferences. Show Highlights Halt the blame: codependency is universal and systemic (10:05) Interdependence: what it is and its role in relationships (12:21) Taking away the shame around our codependent ways of relating (15:34) Love languages are like Cliff's Notes for our needs (23:01) Moving towards interdependence and healing unhealthy codependency (28:02) When you break the blame cycle and own your shit, shifts in your relationships will happen (33:48) Learn more about Vanessa: After over a decade of grinding in the New York City corporate world, Vanessa Bennett realized her work, her relationships, and honestly, her life felt…off. She didn't see it at first, but her path was finding her — and the journey she started to help herself ended up being her path to helping others. Cue the montage of her moving across the country, having a few breakdowns, heartbreaks, setbacks, taking hundreds of hours of training and workshops in yoga, yoga therapy, nutrition, somatic therapy, and reading lots and lots of books. Oh yeah, all while becoming a licensed therapist. It turns out that this passion paired well with her unique background in telling stories through marketing and corporate strategy, a longtime practice of meditation and yoga, and the fact that she's a New Yorker who cuts to the point. Today, Vanessa lives in Los Angeles and puts all of this to work as an Author, Licensed Holistic Psychotherapist, clinical entrepreneur, and mental health content creator. She co-hosts the Cheaper Than Therapy Podcast, leads soul-based retreats and workshops, and creates and facilitates curricula for non-profit and corporate events and conferences. Resources & Links: Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/codependence-versus-interdependence-with-vanessa-bennett-lmft Grit and Grace Group Coaching is Open - Join us! Vanessa's website Vanessa on Instagram Vanessa on TikTok TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I've been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade. AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL OF MY DIVORCE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE IN ONE ONLINE PROGRAM. This program is 100% for you if… You're a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won't destroy your kids You're looking for answers and a roadmap You understand that divorce is a long game You're willing to put away your boxing gloves You want this to be a respectful and collaborative process in service of your kids You understand that divorce is, first and foremost, an emotional process and you're ready to 'go there' Are you ready to learn from one of the world's top divorce experts and set yourself on the path towards the best possible outcome? YEAH, Y'ARE!!! JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

Before we dive into this week's show, I wanted to share that my group coaching experience, Grit & Grace, is open! If you are ready to create profound shifts to own your worth, your strength, and your power - Grit & Grace is for you. To learn more about the program or to sign up for a consultation visit KateAnthony.com/Coaching. Certified Family Law Specialist Monica Mazzei joins me to talk about why everyone should have a pre-marital agreement - yes, a prenup! Monica is passionate about what she does and has made it her mission to educate others about everything family law—including this topic. During our conversation, we discuss the benefits of having a pre-marital agreement, why prenups are not just for high-net-worth individuals, and what happens if a spouse tries to fight the prenup during a divorce. If you don't have assets or think you don't need a prenup, but think you might get married again in the future, this episode is a must-listen. Show Highlights The family law system is outdated especially in the area of pre-marital agreements (6:53) Conversations about pre-marital agreements offer transparency and may lead to greater intimacy (10:00) Monica explains what information and details go into a prenup - it should be a clear roadmap of what is going to happen if you get divorced (11:51) How to start the conversation with a partner about creating a pre-marital agreement (22:08) Co-habitation and Nesting agreements: what are they and what should go into them (26:04) Why a pre-martial agreement is the most impactful one you can have, where you choose your own rules and destiny as a couple if things don't work out (34:35) Learn more about Monica:Monica Mazzei is a Certified Family Law Specialist representing clients in the Bay Area, with a concentration in San Francisco and Silicon Valley, as well as Los Angeles. She represents high-net-worth clients throughout the divorce process and in mediation. Monica has been named a California Super Lawyer from 2015-2019 and has been recognized in the international Chambers High Net Worth 2017-2019 guide for Family/Matrimonial Law. Monica specializes in dissolution actions involving complicated valuation and financial matters, and complex community property and support issues, including international issues, and dissolutions involving hedge funds, private equity, venture capital, and privately held businesses. Monica takes a modern approach to the practice of family law – addressing various needs of her clients related and unrelated to their family law case. Monica has relationships with top professionals in the Bay Area such as forensic accountants, mental health professionals, real estate agents, financial advisors, and business valuation experts. She also works closely with estate planning attorneys to come up with creative solutions for her clients and ensure their agreements reflect their current objectives. Monica is a frequent lecturer and speaker on family law matters and has been interviewed by Forbes, The Wall Street Journal, and Bloomberg. Resources & Links: Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/why-everyone-should-have-a-pre-marital-agreement-with-monica-mazzei/ Grit and Grace Group Coaching is Open - Join us! Monica's website Monica on LinkedIn TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINK Proof. Protection. Peace of Mind. The Soberlink remote alcohol monitoring system consists of a portable breathalyzer with wireless technology for real-time results. With proven use as the leading choice in child custody cases since 2011, we are the only system that combines: Court admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Trust the Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to support the best interests of the child in your Family Law cases. JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

This week we are talking about the legal aspect of high conflict divorce. When it comes to divorce, what most talk about from a legal sense isn't applicable to those navigating a divorce with an abuser or high-conflict person. That's why I asked my good friend, Susan Guthrie, Esq., to come back to the show and share what she knows about legal issues surrounding high-conflict situations. Divorce is hard, divorce with a high conflict person is a completely different ball game. Listen to this episode to hear how to maneuver the legal system when divorcing an abusive or high-conflict spouse. Show Highlights The tools do not exist in the legal system to change the behavior of a high-conflict person, but there are resources available that can help you protect yourself (6:09) High conflict people are unmanageable (11:37) Susan answers, "Can you mediate with someone who is actively lying and/or hiding assets?" (14:28) Why Susan says a consulting attorney is a necessity for the mediation process (19:01) When you are mediating or litigating with a high-conflict person, you move in small, purposeful steps (23:35) How to cope when an ex-spouse backs out of mediation at the last minute. Plus, what you can do from a legal perspective (33:48) Learn more about Susan: Susan Guthrie, nationally recognized as one of the Top Family Law Attorneys and Mediators in the country, has been helping individuals and families navigate separation and divorce for more than 30 years. Susan provides online divorce and legal coaching services to select clients around the world. As a leading dispute resolution professional, Susan is honored to serve on the Executive Council of the American Bar Association's (ABA) Section of Dispute Resolution as the Budget Officer and to be a Co-Chair of the Advanced Mediation Institute. In 2021 Susan launched her fresh and inspiring podcast, The Divorce & Beyond Podcast with Susan Guthrie, Esq. which debuted on iTunes "Top Podcasts" List for self-help podcasts and which is one of the Top 1.5 % of All Podcasts worldwide! Divorce & Beyond is focused on pulling back the curtain on the mysteries of the divorce process and bringing tips and resources to help people to thrive and shine in their new future beyond divorce. Susan has been featured in and on media outlets such as CNBC, Market Watch, News Nation, Forbes, the ABA's Just Resolutions Magazine, Thrive Global, Medium, and many more. She is licensed to practice law in the States of California and Connecticut as well as before the Supreme Court of the United States. Resources & Links: Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/high-conflict-legal-qa-with-susan-guthrie-esq Grit and Grace Group Coaching starts on September 15th - Join us! Mosten Guthrie Academy BIFF: Quick Responses to High-Conflict PeopleDSG Abuse Mini-Series: How to Communicate with a High-Conflict Co-Parent with Bill Eddy Get Ready to BIFF Your High Conflict Ex with Bill Eddy on Divorce & Beyond The Incredible Tale of One Mom's Successful 10-Year Battle to Be Free of a Narcissist with Tina Swithin on Divorce & Beyond TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you'll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

When women join book clubs, often, it's not about books. It's about being with one another, building each other up, and gaining a sense of comfort with each other. Women need community, it's part of who we are. That's why, this week, I continue the conversation about community and Grit & Grace, a coaching experience for women contemplating, going through, or recovering from divorce. In this episode, I share openly and passionately why I created the Grit & Grace program, talk about some of the work we'll do together including techniques for healing and grief recovery, the nuts and bolts of divorce, and share how you can join us! Yes, you can do this work individually and make big changes. Or we can come together to make a seismic shift in our own lives and change the world while we're doing it. Plus, we heal exponentially when we do it together. Resources & Links: Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/solo-episode-grit--grace/ Join my new coaching program Grit & Grace! Why Women Need a Tribe By Tanja Taljaard and Azriel Re'ShelThe Science of Stuck with Tina SwithinDon't Use These Terms! Words and Phrases to Avoid When Getting Divorced with Christina McGhee JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

Britt Frank is the author of The Science of Stuck: Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward. Many of my listeners are stuck on the idea of whether they should stay or go, or stuck in trauma and fear. That's why I invited Britt to the show to talk about the small steps we can take to become unstuck and move forward with dignity. Britt is a trauma specialist and psychotherapist. Her work focuses on empowering people to understand the mechanisms of our brains and bodies so we can break through procrastination and find our way home to ourselves. This conversation is amazing, I hope you enjoy it! Show Highlights The fastest way to get out of being stuck is to take small steps (5:08) How to define the 'first step' to help you figure out your plan for getting unstuck (7:53) Dissociation is a self-protection mechanism - there'sa reason you're not doing the thing you want to do: you're experiencing the freeze response to trauma (13:11) Britt explains why we can't think ourselves forward (16:04) We explore the steps to help you get unstuck including: Validating what's happening and determining the resources available to help right now (22:40) Why Britt says to stay away from positive and negative thinking and instead focus on accurate thinking (24:52) Your inner critic wants to help, but they are just really bad at it! (27:59) Leaving a relationship requires detox and withdrawal (34:23) Self-sabotage is a way to self-protect - don't blame yourself for self-sabotaging. Recognize it's happening and then follow the steps to move through being stuck (39:41) Self-mothering is one the most powerful ways of breaking trauma bonds (44:24) Learn more about Britt Frank: Britt Frank, MSW, LSCSW, SEP is a clinician, educator, and trauma specialist. She speaks and writes widely about the mental health myths that keep us stuck and stressed. Britt received her BA from Duke University and her MSW from the University of Kansas, where she later became an award-winning adjunct professor. She is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and Level 3 trained in the Internal Family Systems therapeutic model. Britt was a primary therapist at a drug and alcohol treatment center, an inpatient therapist at a children's psychiatric hospital, and now owns a private practice. You can find Britt on Instagram @brittfrank or on her website www.scienceofstuck.com. Her debut book The Science of Stuck was released 3-22-22 by Penguin Random House. Resources & Links: Links and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/the-science-of-stuck-with-britt-frank/ Get on the list to be notified about Grit & Grace!Britt's websiteBritt on Instagram Britt's book Mother Hunger, Kelly McDaniel TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I've been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade. AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL OF MY DIVORCE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE IN ONE ONLINE PROGRAM. This program is 100% for you if… You're a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won't destroy your kids You're looking for answers and a roadmap You understand that divorce is a long game You're willing to put away your boxing gloves You want this to be a respectful and collaborative process in service of your kids You understand that divorce is, first and foremost, an emotional process and you're ready to 'go there' Are you ready to learn from one of the world's top divorce experts and set yourself on the path towards the best possible outcome? YEAH, Y'ARE!!! JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

This week we are talking about life after divorce - specifically what it can look like and how it can feel. Sara Davison is my special guest. During our conversation, she shares her story of divorce and how she helps women move on from heartbreak to a life of happiness post-divorce. Sara is best known as 'The Divorce Coach' and is an award-winning authority on break-ups, divorce, and life empowerment. Following the launch of Sara's Breakup and Divorce Coach Practitioner Accreditation Programme in 2018, Sara has now founded The International Divorce Coach Centre Of Excellence which has a coaching community of 250 Divorce Coaches spanning 16 countries and five continents. She is a twice best-selling author, media commentator, and host of the #1 Heartbreak to Happiness Podcast. Tune in to hear our empowering and uplifting conversation! Show Highlights How do you get back up on your feet and move forward when you are still wrapped up in the whole process of divorce? (7:50) Turning the adversity of your divorce into your strength and superpower (8:19) Sara shares her story of divorce and the processing the shock and trauma of finding her spouse was having an affair and wanted a divorce (14:41) The opposing viewpoints of divorce: the abuser wants to annihilate you whereas you just want to break free and move on (24:00) How to move forward and take your power back - even in the midst of experiencing post-separation abuse (26:31) It takes one person or one generation to break toxicity or patterns of abuse - it is up to us to break it for our kids (38:35) Learn more about Sara Davison: Sara Davison, best known as 'The Divorce Coach', is an award-winning authority on break-ups, divorce, and life-empowerment. She's the best-kept secret of society's elite with a client list that spans actors, politicians, and sportsmen. A bestselling author, Sara's empathetic and holistic coaching style empowers individuals to take back control and positively transform their lives. An NLP Master Practitioner, Sara combines 26 years' coaching experience with her own personal experience of marriage breakdown to help clients cope with challenges including heartbreak, betrayal, conflict, confidence building, co-parenting, and being effective in the workplace during divorce and dating again. Coaching is tailored to suit a client's lifestyle needs, with options ranging from private coaching at Sara's clinic, home visits and online video courses to the immersive group environment on her highly acclaimed Breakup Recovery Retreats. Following the success of Sara's Breakup & Divorce Coach Practitioner Accreditation Programme, Sara founded the International Divorce Coach Centre of Excellence in 2021 and has now created a global coaching community of over 200 Divorce Coaches spanning 14 countries and six continents. The programme is designed to help those interested in becoming a coach as well as existing coaches who want to take their business to the next level. Sara launched Heartbreak To Happiness, an empowering podcast designed to help men and women struggling with the pain of relationship breakdown. The podcast hit New and Noteworthy six times in the first six weeks post launch and hit #1 spot in Ireland and #2 in the UK charts and #24 in USA. Recent guests have included Jason Vale, Bill Walsh, Bernardo Moya and Nicole Jacobs. Sara has firmly cemented her reputation as the go-to expert on domestic abuse, joining forces with The Dash Charity as their patron and recently launched the UK's first ever dedicated retreat 'How to divorce an abusive partner and recover from a toxic relationship', aimed at empowering those feeling helpless and overwhelmed with the critical tools they need to break free, so they can start their healing journey and redesign their lives. At the government level, Sara consults on marriage and divorce legislation, most recently the divorce law reform. Sara is also a regular media commentator and motivational speaker, and she recently starred as the expert in Heartbreak Hotel, a television show based around the concept of her Breakup Recovery Retreats. Resources & Links: Information and links can also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/from-heartbreak-to-happiness-with-sara-davison/ Get on the list to be notified about Grit & Grace!Sara's websiteSara on InstagramSara on FacebookSara on TwitterSara on LinkedInBreakup Survival Guide TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you'll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

This week we're talking about marital finances, divorce, and how gaining clarity around your finances can help inform your decision about whether you should stay or go. Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan, founders of My Divorce Solution, join me to share some of the processes they utilize when working with clients to help them protect and secure their financial future in divorce. Karen and Catherine combine their legal and financial expertise to provide unparalleled financial clarity and divorce preparation – resulting in easier, faster, and less expensive divorces. Our hope is that through listening to this conversation you will have more power, more knowledge, and clarity about finances and divorce. "Everybody is entitled to financial clarity." Catherine Shanahan "If you decide to stay after working through your marital finances, you will be a different partner going forward." Karen Chellew Show Highlights My Divorce Solution: what it is and why Karen and Catherine created it (3:51) What to say if you are trying to get financial information from a bank or accountant who is refusing to give it without your soon-to-be-ex's consent (10:06) Do you need a CFDA or resource such as My Divorce Solution if your finances are not high-net-worth? The short answer: Yes. (20:37) How working with a financial advisor or analyst can help inform your decision about whether or not you should get a divorce (27:31) If you are working with a financial analyst, you are not committing to a divorce. You are learning What can be the most difficult thing about working through your marital finances? (36:00) An important reminder to women about finances and worth: you are worth it! (43:30) Learn more about Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan: Karen Chellew, Legal Liaison: For over 30 years, Karen has worked in the legal field as a paralegal and business manager. During her career, she served as an affiliated member of the Pennsylvania Bar Association and as President-Elect of the ALA (Association of Legal Administrators). Karen now serves clients and the professional team in her role as legal liaison. She is also a certified QDRO Administrator, Founder and President of Sisters U Foundation, and an Auditor of East Rockhill Township. As the mom of three children and two granddaughters, Karen is extremely passionate about helping women in all that she does. Catherine Shanahan, CDFA: After 25 years in the financial industry, having raised five children and endured her own experience with divorce, Catherine became a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) and trained mediator. A Professional Daily Money Manager (PDMM), Catherine is also a member of the Bucks County Collaborative Law Group, American Association of Daily Money Managers (AADMM) the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts, and the Association of Divorce Financial Planners (ADFP). Resources & Links:Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/financial-clarity-and-your-divorce/ My Divorce Solution My Divorce Solution on Instagram My Divorce Solution on Twitter My Divorce Solution on Facebook My Divorce Solution on LinkedIn We Chat Divorce by My Divorce Solution on YouTube We Chat Divorce Podcast DSG Listeners - Get 30 Days Free on My Divorce Solution's Online Divorce Course Get a free quote for your financial portrait from My Divorce Solution TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINK Proof. Protection. Peace of Mind. The Soberlink remote alcohol monitoring system consists of a portable breathalyzer with wireless technology for real-time results. With proven use as the leading choice in child custody cases since 2011, we are the only system that combines: Court admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Trust the Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to support the best interests of the child in your Family Law cases. JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

Today, I have a solo episode for you! I am talking about community, specifically why it is important for women to be in a community with one another. My Facebook group has grown to over 10,000 members and on any given day you can see the magic that happens when women support one another. When you are surrounded by other women in similar situations it opens up space to share our experiences, struggles and wins. Ultimately, when women join together in a community we begin to own our collective power. In this episode I talk about: The impact women in community have on men The work of victims is to get to a place of feeling strong enough and empowered enough to be able to walk away Our true power lies in our connection to other women Resources & Links:Links and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/solo-episode-the-power-of-community-grit-and-grace Get on the list to be notified about Grit & Grace! Why Women Need a Tribe, by Tanja Taljaard and Azriel Re'Shel Mothering Heights with Leonora Pitts Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits - to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life, with Gretchen Rubin THE M3ND PROJECT The M3ND Project's mission is to bring clarity and validation to victims and survivors and to provide tools and resources for those who are responding to abuse. Annette Oltmans founded The M3ND Project coming out of her own experience as a survivor of emotional abuse and double abuse and after years of researching academic materials and personally interviewing hundreds of abuse survivors, therapists, and faith leaders. M3ND does this by providing various educational resources and training courses. The M3ND Project has three courses available: One for Victims and Survivors, One for Responders and Advocates, and The 3rd for Therapists seeking CEUs. The M3ND Project's Comprehensive Training Curriculum provides deep instruction on psychological abuse, double abuse, complex trauma, how to identify your own trauma and whether you are being abused, and the best protocols for responding to victims and those who cause harm. For course details and to register visit: https://kateanthony.com/mend JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

Dr. Heidi Brocke joins me for a discussion about toxic relationships and healing from them. Heidi is a toxic relationship awareness and healing specialist. After 14 years in an extremely emotionally and narcissistically abusive relationship, she broke the chains and turned her past into her passion. Today it is her mission to provide hope, healing, and freedom to those whose lives have been affected by toxic relationships, emotional abuse, and narcissistic behaviors. Show Highlights Heidi shares what she would say to women afraid to leave a partner for fear of alienation from their children (10:20) When we stay "for our kids," we think we are mitigating toxic behavior but in reality, we are condoning it (12:14) What the word toxic means in toxic relationships (15:42) The importance of shifting the focus on the diagnosis of your partner to focusing on you and what feels good or right for you (29:40) The only thing consistent about a toxic person is that they are inconsistent (34:40) Learn more about Dr. Heidi Brocke: Dr. Heidi Brocke is a Toxic Relationship Awareness & Healing Specialist. After spending 14 years in an extremely emotionally and narcissistically abusive relationship she broke the chains and turned her past into her passion; She left her 24 years career in healthcare to use her life experience and education to be the person she needed when she herself was trapped in the darkness of an unhealthy relationship to provide hope, healing, and freedom to those whose lives have been affected by toxic relationships, emotional abuse, and narcissistic behaviors. Through education, she presents the understanding needed to empower others to walk through fear and into their freedom. Today she has helped hundreds rid and heal their toxic relationships and hosts the popular podcast, It's not Normal, It's Toxic-rid your life of toxic people - with over a million listens worldwide. She's an international keynote speaker, recipient of Empowering Women in Business of The Year award by Inspiring Lives Magazine, and has been featured in both Forbes and Time Magazines for the dedication given to her clients and for her work in the toxic relationship area. Resources & Links: Links and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/from-toxic-to-free-with-heidi-brocke/ Heidi's websiteHeidi on Facebook Heidi on LinkedIn Heidi on Instagram Heidi's Freedom Me Course The TPA It's Not Normal, It's Toxic with Dr, Heidi Brocke The Divorce and Beyond Podcast with Susan Guthrie, Esq. TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I've been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade. AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL OF MY DIVORCE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE IN ONE ONLINE PROGRAM. This program is 100% for you if… You're a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won't destroy your kids You're looking for answers and a roadmap You understand that divorce is a long game You're willing to put away your boxing gloves You want this to be a respectful and collaborative process in service of your kids You understand that divorce is, first and foremost, an emotional process and you're ready to 'go there' Are you ready to learn from one of the world's top divorce experts and set yourself on the path towards the best possible outcome? YEAH, Y'ARE!!! JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

We are talking about a complex and insidious topic this week: coercive control. Dr. Christine Cocchiola, a Coercive Control Advocate, Educator, Researcher, and Survivor, shares her incredible wisdom with us. She explains how coercive control is the foundation of most domestic abuse and is often non-physical with offenders using "power over" to abuse their victims psychologically, legally, financially, and sexually. Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola is a Board Member of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, has supported policy codifying coercive control, and has a small private practice, primarily serving victims and survivors of coercive control. She is also the creator of the Protective Parenting Program, supporting protective mothers on their journey to healing their children. Show Highlights What is coercive control? Why Depp v Heard is a case study in coercive control (3:50) When coercive controllers begin to lose control, the number one thing they seek is revenge (8:50) The global impact of high-profile cases that revolve around coercive control (13:22) DARVO: an acronym used to describe a common strategy of abusers (24:16) How coercive controllers gain and retain control - what are their patterns? (28:14) The goal of the abuser is to wear away at your autonomy (29:43) How to avoid coercive control and other abusive situations or leave an abusive relationship (44:35) The legislation and criminalization of coercive control (49:45) Learn more about Dr. Cocchiola: Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW is a Coercive Control Advocate, Educator, Researcher & Survivor. Coercive Control, the foundation of most domestic abuse, is often non-physical with offenders using "power over" to abuse their victims psychologically, legally, financially, and sexually and where children are involved, use of the children as pawns. She is a college professor teaching social work at CT Community College for the last 20 years and also an adjunct instructor at NYU. Her expertise is in the areas of intimate partner violence, trauma, and child abuse, developing and presenting workshops on these topics both nationally and internationally. Christine, a Board Member of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, has supported policy codifying coercive control and has a small private practice, primarily serving victims and survivors of coercive control. She is the creator of the Protective Parenting Program, supporting protective mothers on their journey of healing their children. Resources & Links: Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/coercive-control-with-dr-christine-cocchiola Dr. Cocchiola's website Dr. Cocchiola on Instagram Dr. Cocchiola on Facebook Dr. Cocchiola on Twitter Dr. Cocchiola on LinkedIn Instagram Live with Dr. Christine about Depp v Heard What Happens After You Leave Your Abusive Marriage? with Leanne Oaten THE M3ND PROJECT The M3ND Project's mission is to bring clarity and validation to victims and survivors and to provide tools and resources for those who are responding to abuse. Annette Oltmans founded The M3ND Project coming out of her own experience as a survivor of emotional abuse and double abuse and after years of researching academic materials and personally interviewing hundreds of abuse survivors, therapists, and faith leaders. M3ND does this by providing various educational resources and training courses. The M3ND Project has three courses available: One for Victims and Survivors, One for Responders and Advocates, and The 3rd for Therapists seeking CEUs. The M3ND Project's Comprehensive Training Curriculum provides deep instruction on psychological abuse, double abuse, complex trauma, how to identify your own trauma and whether you are being abused, and the best protocols for responding to victims and those who cause harm. For course details and to register visit: https://kateanthony.com/mend JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

This week we are talking about the differences between narcissists, abusers, and sociopaths and why (or why not) those differences even matter. I received so much positive feedback when Annette Oltmans was on the show last time that I invited her back to explore this topic with me. Annette's personal experiences of prolonged emotional abuse in marriage and her extensive journey of recovery including comprehensive field research into the topics of Original Abuse and Double Abuse® ignited her passion for founding The M3ND Project in 2016. Show Highlights What is the difference between narcissists, abusers, and sociopaths and does it matter? (6:28) Why it is important to look at the way someone makes you feel as opposed to focusing on a partner's diagnosis or label (9:02) The maze of confusion and what it is like to be in a conversation with an abuser (13:53) All narcissists are abusers but not all abusers are narcissists (14:13) Annette shares the Pillars of Abuse (26:08) How to know when an abusive partner is truly working to change their behaviors. For one: they will have setbacks but still show longstanding evidence of change (40:00) Communication problems are not the core issue of abusive relationships (46:39) Learn more about Annette Oltmans: Annette Oltmans is a philanthropist and passionate human rights advocate. Annette's personal experiences of prolonged emotional abuse in marriage and her extensive journey of recovery including comprehensive field research into the topics of Original Abuse and Double Abuse® ignited her passion to founding The M3ND Project in 2016. While seeking the help of professionals and responders, she experienced Double Abuse® in the form of spiritual and institutional abuse. These harmful encounters compelled Annette in her relentless pursuit for solutions that involved interviews with hundreds of victims and survivors. She uncovered common threads that cause victims prolonged states of confusion as well as what ultimately led them towards healing. Her journey also involved interviews with hundreds of faith-based leaders and therapists which led her to discover that most are untrained and ill-equipped to identify and help victims of emotional, verbal, and psychological abuse. In working to prevent and remediate such harm, Annette developed protocoled models that are now being taught and implemented with therapists, churches and professional organizations across the United States. She consulted with esteemed experts in abuse, trauma, and healing to ensure the materials align with the highest professional standards. Annette also serves on the Board of Pepperdine University's Boone Center for the Family and is a Board of Trustee member of Northrise University in Zambia. Her writing on these topics of abuse, domestic violence, and bullying has been published in the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC), Teen Vogue, and numerous other publications. Annette is also a contributing author in the newly released book, "Created to Thrive: Cultivating Abuse-Free Safe Communities". Resources & Links: Information and links can also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/abuser-narcissist-sociopath-with-annette-oltmans/ Get on the list to be notified about Group Coaching!The M3nd Project WebsiteTools and Resources from The M3ND ProjectThe M3ND Project on FacebookThe M3ND Project on Instagram The M3nd Project on YouTubeThe M3nd Project on Twitter The Maze of Confusion TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you'll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

Lena Derhally is back on the show! Last time we talked about social media narcissism and other harmful effects of using social media. This time she joins me to talk about Chris Watts, who was the topic of her book My Daddy is a Hero: How Chris Watts Went from Family Man to Family Killer. On August 13, 2018, Chris Watts murdered his pregnant wife Shanann and two young daughters. Why is this story important for all to hear and especially those listening to this podcast? It's important because it's a case study of narcissism and the warning signs we all might miss. In Lena's book (and this episode) Lena pieces together the crime, the events leading up to it, and her beliefs about the "why." Lena Derhally is a Washington DC-based licensed and Imago certified psychotherapist in private practice. She is the author of the Amazon True Crime and Criminology bestseller, My Daddy is a Hero: How Chris Watts Went from Family Man to Family Killer, and the forthcoming pop psychology book, The Facebook Narcissist: How to Identify and Protect Yourself and Your Loved Ones from Social Media Narcissism. Show Highlights What led to Chris's confession of murdering his wife and children (5:59) Psychopaths don't have the same empathy or attachments as others, but they can learn to mimic the emotions and experiences of others around them (15:05) How to use this story as a way to protect yourself or spot red flags (24:14) The shame and blame of victims of intimate partner violence (43:21) Once a partner starts devaluing you, it is time to question what you want/don't want from your relationship (54:22)

Christina McGhee is back on the show! She joins me to talk about the language we use around divorce, co-parenting, and raising our children. The language we use can be damaging to our children, so this is such an important conversation to have and I hope you get a lot out of listening to it. In fact, even as a professional in this space, I have recently learned how to shift my language about divorce topics. Words matter and the way we convey our ideas do too. Christina McGhee, MSW is an internationally recognized divorce parenting expert, speaker, and author. Whether she is speaking, coaching, or writing her goal is to disrupt the status quo, and change divorce for the better by helping families redefine themselves in meaningful ways. Show Highlights The way we talk about co-parenting with children by using the term "visitation" and why it's a terrible term to use (5:53) When parents focus on what's "fair" for them, children internalize that their actions must be "fair" in order to make their parents feel ok (12:05) What is wrong with the word custody, how it affects children, and why parenting time is a better term to use (21:10) When we talk about equitable time-sharing arrangements, we are talking about equal responsibility, plus Christina talks about the off-duty and on-duty parenting model (26:57) Why treating time with children as a commodity (50/50, 60/40, etc.) is damaging (39:59) What is wrong with referring to your co-parent as your ex (51:53)

Allison Raskin's book Overthinking About You is the first of its kind that talks about dating and mental health. This week, Allison joins me for a conversation about talking to a potential partner about mental health topics, why caring for your mental health when dating is important, and some tactical strategies to help you be better prepared to tackle dating and relationships with confidence. Allison is a comedian, a mental health advocate and the host of the popular "Just Between Us" podcast, and co-creator of a YouTube channel by the same name. Join us for this insightful and important conversation. Show Highlights Why talking about dating and mental health is not commonplace (and why it should be) (2:14) How to open up about mental health with a potential partner (9:45) Creating a safe space for dating and caring for your mental health (12:35) Allison stresses the importance of self-soothing techniques before you start dating (18:16) Online dating tips and strategies (40:25) Learn more about Allison Raskin: Allison Raskin has written and developed multiple TV shows and created the original scripted podcast Gossip. A vocal mental health advocate, Allison also runs the mental health-focused Instagram account @emotionalsupportlady. She knows the challenges of navigating romantic relationships with mental health issues firsthand. She was diagnosed with OCD at 4 years old and also lives with a general anxiety disorder. Resources & Links:Information and links can also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/overthinking-about-you-with-allison-raskin/ Allison's websiteAllison's bookAllison on Instagram Emotional Support Lady on Instagram Just Between Us podcast TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you'll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

Have you ever wondered what it's like being a child of divorced parents? This week, Bella Duncan of a Kid With Two Homes joins me to share her experience as a child of divorce. She shares her experiences of divorce, separation, and family conflict. Bella is determined to make a change for the better. She has gone between two homes since her parents divorced when she was three years old. Growing up in two homes, she experienced firsthand many of the issues children of divorce face as a young adults. I learned a lot from my conversation with Bella. She is so smart and insightful at such a young age. She is truly remarkable. Show Highlights Why Bella stresses the importance of communication skills between kids and their divorced parents (8:35) What high conflict means to a child of divorce and how it feels to be the child in the middle (12:47) "Being in the middle makes you feel like you are responsible for your parents' conflict." (15:52) Accepting your parents' divorce is an ongoing process and something you have to consistently work on, even as a young adult (22:47) A reminder that your child's perspective about your divorce can be vastly different from your own (25:09) Why a child should never feel responsible or guilty about spending quality time with their parents (32:03) How parents can do better for children of divorce (39:18) Learn more about Bella Duncan: Bella is an empowered kid of divorce who is determined to make change for the better. Currently, at 23, Bella has recently completed a Bachelor of Law and a Bachelor of Psychology. Bella has gone between two homes since her parents divorced at age three. Growing up in two homes, she experienced firsthand many of the issues children of divorce face. As a young adult, she was inspired to provide a helpful resource to help kids of divorce feel seen, heard, and less alone. Resources & Links: Links and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/a-kid-with-two-homes-with-bella-duncan/ Submit your questions for a future Q&A episode!A Kid with Two Homes Bella's Packing Instagram video postBella on Instagram

Leanne Oaten is back on the podcast! Listeners loved her previous episode so much that I invited her back to talk about what happens after you get out of an abusive relationship. We discuss the post-separation aftermath, which many women are not prepared for. Once all the dust settles and the reality sets in, questions and emotions bubble to the surface. We explore all the complexities of what happens when you re-awaken to life after domestic abuse. Leanne is a former counselor who helps women decide whether to stay or leave their toxic, abusive, narcissistic relationship without wasting time going to therapy. Show Highlights Why women begin to question the abuse that transpired after they get out (4:11) Using apps is a good solution for co-parenting with an abusive ex (9:57) The emotional aspect of what lies on the other side once you've separated (14:10) How to prepare for the what happens to you emotionally and physically after leaving an abuser (19:19) Setting boundaries and understanding where to draw the line - also realize you aren't going to do it perfectly (24:44) You can be friendly with a co-parent but you don't have to be friends (28:37) Learn more about Leanne Oaten Leanne Oaten is a former counselor with over 9 years of experience coaching and supporting clients. After working in the counseling field in private practice for several years, she decided to go virtual with her business to serve women all over the world. She educates and guides women who are experiencing narcissistic abuse to end the cycle and get clarity on whether to stay or leave. Leanne Oaten founded Awakening Women Support in 2018 to begin sharing her unique and no bullsh*t perspectives on the patterns of narcissistic abuse and posts daily over on Instagram at instagram.com/awakeningwomensupport. Resources & Links: Information and links can also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/what-happens-after-you-leave-your-abusive-marriage-with-leanne-oaten/ Submit your questions for a future Q&A episode!Leanne's website How to Know Whether to Stay or Leave Your Toxic Relationship Lundy Bancroft episode Peaceful Parent App TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I've been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade. AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL OF MY DIVORCE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE IN ONE ONLINE PROGRAM. This program is 100% for you if… You're a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won't destroy your kids You're looking for answers and a roadmap You understand that divorce is a long game You're willing to put away your boxing gloves You want this to be a respectful and collaborative process in service of your kids You understand that divorce is, first and foremost, an emotional process and you're ready to 'go there' Are you ready to learn from one of the world's top divorce experts and set yourself on the path towards the best possible outcome? YEAH, Y'ARE!!! JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP